emotionallychargedtowel

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SHE IS WITHOUT QUESTION THE BEST TO EVER DO IT

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I like you so much it's suffocating me.

🥁 GLASS HEART (2025)

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These are really good points in the tags! (The point about blood type in your post is worth considering too.)

About the introversion/extroversion thing: the fact that the MBTI is bunk doesn't mean we need to throw out the idea of introversion and extroversion at all. It's true that the terms were originally coined by Jung, and Myers and Briggs based their typology on Jung's personality theory. But they did a terrible job—there's a reason Jung disavowed any involvement with the MBTI and categorically refused to endorse it or have any real contact with Myers and Briggs beyond his unequivocal "no thanks"—and aside from that aspect, Jung's personality theory has been mostly forgotten for good reason, aside from the ways in which it has been ill-advisedly reanimated by promoters of the MBTI. In other words, the relationship between the concept and the MBTI is tenuous at best.

The MBTI's treatment of introversion and extroversion is actually one of the things I find most bothersome about it. Here's the thing. When we look at these concepts in a strict sense, they really are about a kind of orientation. The whole "what one draws energy from" concept is indeed vague at best and suspiciously woo-woo at worst, but it does a decent job of getting the point across briefly. I definitely believe that there's a version of this concept that is observable in the world and in ourselves. It seems to be more salient for some people than others, but it still seems to exist and to reflect something potentially important about people's needs and capacities.

One problem that often comes up in discussions of introversion and extroversion is that they get conflated with the presence or absence of social anxiety. It's easy to see how this could happen. For one thing, people who are extroverted will generally be more motivated to do things that'll increase their social skills through practice, while introverted folks will have fewer reasons to bother. But introversion/extroversion and social anxiety/the lack thereof are not the same, and they don't always go together in predictable ways. In fact, if you observe people in your daily life long enough, you'll come across examples of highly socially skilled introverts and socially anxious extroverts.

I have an ex-partner who's an introvert with amazing social skills. When we were dating his job was in sales, and he was amazing at it. He's done well in managerial roles, too. He also has good social skills outside of work. He's great at chatting with strangers at parties and stuff like that. But he's also one of the most introverted people I've ever known. He always had a significant quota of alone time that needed to be met in order for him to function well, and unlike other introverts I've known, most of whom could recharge even if a partner or a close friend was around, in his case he really required alone time—it was best if he could put a door between him and absolutely everyone, but in a pinch he could meet his quota when I was around if I didn't interact with him in any way or call attention to myself.

It would be an oversimplification to say that I'm the opposite of my ex—a socially anxious extrovert—but it's nearly accurate. I have a strong need for time with other people and very little need for time alone, but I have a lot of anxiety in social situations. (This is a pretty terrible combination, as you might imagine.) When I take the MBTI, I come out as about half "E" and half "I," which results in my type alternating between the two depending on how I was feeling that day. (Things like this contribute to the MBTI's poor test-retest reliability, one of the signs that it's not a good instrument.)

This doesn't happen because I'm really half extroverted and half introverted, though. Actually, almost all of the items that put me in the "I" category are about social anxiety, not introversion. Basically, if you're a socially anxious extrovert the MBTI can easily classify you as an introvert, and if you're a socially confident introvert, it may well label you as an extrovert. Honestly, it's downright pathetic for a personality measure to conflate introversion/extroversion with social anxiety levels in this way.

The thing you mentioned about not understanding the other dimensions well is incredibly commonplace. I mean, heck, I have a doctorate in psychology and I barely understand them (though that's partly because we hardly studied the MBTI at all in my grad program due to its being bullshit). But yeah, you basically have to become a nerd about the MBTI to understand the other dimensions much at all. I get the impression that even MBTI enthusiasts often stick to the gestalt descriptions and don't engage much with the measures's other three facets of personality on their own.

This is actually another frequent criticism of the MBTI. This instrument is supposed to be useful to laypeople, and that's how it's marketed—not only as a means of self-discovery, but as a workplace tool that can help human resources folks, managers, etc. make decisions about things like where to place employees in an organization and even (most horrifying of all!) hiring. For laypeople to be able to use the measure at all, they need to be able to understand it. That's the bare minimum, and the MBTI fails to do it. For them to find it at all useful or meaningful, the categories being used have to be salient. In other words, it needs to be clear why they matter. Not surprisingly, the MBTI fails to accomplish this, too. Even hardcore psychology nerds like me usually have trouble making anything of the three less-meaningful MBTI categories. They aren't just obscure, they're eccentric and, as far as I can tell, practically pointless.

So, yeah. It's not just you, and the fact that so many people have the same issue matters.

thanks for the comments and asks saying i'm being mean for very mildly saying i don't like when people make social decisions based on horoscopes.

your behavior has made me realize i should be "meaner": horoscopes are fake.

the position of planets and balls of gas did not in any way impact your personality or destiny. it has nothing to do with what kind of people you are compatible with, despite what an app or magazine told you.

i think sincere belief in horoscopes shows a concerning propensity to trust pseudoscience and a susceptibility to confirmation bias.

i'm pretty tired of having to tiptoe around this kind of thing and include disclaimers. if you genuinely think you shouldn't be friends with someone because of the date they came out of a uterus, you're being a clown.

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40までにしたい10のこと 40 Made ni Shitai 10 no Koto (2025) | EP 3

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Sho Takaoka in グラスハート (2025) | EP 9

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fun with idioms, featuring Shi Zhe Yu

I recently contracted a serious case of We Best Love brainrot and I love how off-putting Shi Zhe Yu is sometimes. Here's my favorite awkward Zhe Yu moment.

There's some corporate espionage afoot and it looks like a certain party is to blame, but there's actually such an overabundance of evidence that it seems like they're being framed. For the evidence to be real, someone who knows what they're doing would have to be taking some steps that are totally redundant. Shi De struggles for a way to describe it...

so Zhe Yu provides a reasonable idiom for the occasion (likely not this English idiom, but maybe a comparably reasonable Taiwanese one)...

but then, not content with this perfectly serviceable expression, he offers another that's not so reasonable.

So weird!

Sometimes Zhe Yu really gets on my nerves but there's one thing you have to hand to him: he's a memorable, original character. Who says some memorable, original, somewhat gross things.

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it disturbs me that a significant number of people think that the issue with sexual violence, gendered violence, and misogyny is sexual desire rather than dehumanization, so they are relentlessly suspicious of others' (and their own) desires while simultaneously never at all interrogating others' (and their own) dehumanizing beliefs about other people, both within and outside of sexual contexts

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i’ve started looking at weight and health the way i look at class and income and it really puts a lot of things into a new perspective.

let me explain: in america at least, the lower class have significantly worse health outcomes, even when accounting for other factors. just being poor is enough to make your overall health worse. we don’t know that being fat makes your health directly worse, like the data just isn’t there, but for a moment, pretend it does.

imagine going to the doctor with a health problem and the doctor looking at your chart and saying well, this problem will be less severe if you go up an income bracket. have you thought about becoming rich? it would really help. start by saving a little money every month.

ridiculous, right?? very few people successfully go from working class to rich, it just doesn’t happen on a large scale in society. maybe for a time you pick up some overtime hours, spend a little beyond your means, and appear rich. but eventually you burn out, your car needs to be repaired, and you return to being working class.

we do have this data: only some people can successfully lose large amounts of weight, and only a tiny fraction of people who lose that weight actually keep it off for more than a year. telling people to lose weight for their health is just absurd because they almost certainly can’t do it any more than they can double their income for their health.

and yet i see it everywhere. a little poster in my work breakroom tells me to improve my blood pressure by losing weight! a psa on the radio says you need to take care of your heart by losing weight! we can’t even conclusively prove that weight is the cause rather than just correlated with a lot of these problems but here it is offered anyway: have you tried being rich?

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blocked someone for having "strong opinions" on how much they hate tofu . she isnt a joke to me thats my fucking wife youre talking about

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I should talk more about topping because honestly I actually do think that there's an asymmetry in how bottoming and topping are perceived on this site that has at least a little to do with how rare it is for tops to be allowed to to safely talk about their desire in any setting that isn't harshly guarded against judgement and shame

And like. Topping is great actually. I love it a lot. But finding bottoms who are actually interested in their top as opposed to interested in BEING topped can make you really feel like topping is unwelcome in queer sexual spaces. Don't have the focus to do it now, but remind me lmfao

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No season 3 announcement (yet) but just seeing them together in 2025 made me so happy.

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It’s wild to me to see transvestigator conspiracy theories online that could be so easily explained by natural human variation. That woman has a deep voice? Yeah, sometimes they do. A woman has broad shoulders?? Maybe she plays rugby or hits the gym a fuckton. There’s a “bulge” in her tight pants?? Maybe her vulva is just fat. All the “markers” of trans woman that transvestigators use to harass any woman aren’t even things unique to trans women.

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NHK unveils the official poster of Bakebake and it's so cute!

Set in Meiji-era Matsue, Toki is a quirky girl from a once-proud samurai family now struggling with poverty after her father’s failed business. To make ends meet, she becomes a maid for a foreign English teacher of Greek-Irish descent, who, after being abandoned as a child, has always felt out of place. Despite cultural differences and language barriers, Toki and her new boss bond over their shared love of ghost stories and their similar struggles. Together, they embark on a peculiar journey filled with eccentric characters and, of course, plenty of ghostly tales. (from mdl)

The story is loosely based on the life of Koizumi Setsuko, the wife and collaborator of Lafcadio Hearn. She provided much of the material for Lafcadio's works on Japanese ghost stories and folk narratives that were some of the first publications on Japan written for a western audience and remain popular in Japan to this day.

The first episode is set to air on September 29.

Interestingly, NHK recently posted a subbed trailer on their Instagram page, so it seems like they might be reaching for an audience beyond Japan. Fingers crossed that we get an international release!

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老板和公主