#and I'm really upset about that because they're gonna be disappointed in me

[natjennie]

I don't feel goooood :(

[jupiter--dream]

(cw vent, sorry it's just been A Couple Of Days)

Not really having many irl friends comes at the price of feeling so terribly lonely, I feel like I have no one to talk to because I'm not close to enough people, or maybe I am and I just haven't talked to them in a while and I don't want this to be our first conversation qwq

I'm honestly just. Tired, tbh qwq

[xray-vex]

Thinking about this and how there are certain people claiming to be fans of OFMD who complain, rather loudly and repeatedly, there is no chemistry between Ed & Stede, and/or that their kisses had no passion, etc.

This leads me to believe that there are several possible explanations for how those people might have reached that conclusion:

1.) The people complaining have a hard time reading body language/facial expressions, so they literally can't perceive it

2.) The people complaining hate the main ship: they don't like Ed and/or Stede and/or their relationship, or the fact that their head canons for the show didn't become canon and are still upset about it, and are therefore in denial about the chemistry between Ed and Stede and refuse to see it.

3.) They are somehow from an alternate universe that has overlapped a little bit with the one most of us are in, and they literally didn't watch the same show because they watched the OFMD from their universe, not ours.

In all of the above cases, though -- the people who insist that Ed & Stede had no chemistry are just wrong. It's not really an opinion. So, based on these ideas, either:

1.) They're drawing an incorrect conclusion based on their inability to interpret body language (***and there no shame in that in & of itself, not everyone has that skill set) -- However, not being able to perceive something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Humans can't perceive ultraviolet or infrared light naturally, either. Those things still exist even if you can't see em.

2.) They're choosing to draw their conclusions based on their dislike of/disappointment in the show, and therefore willfully ignoring the evidence presented in the text (the show itself). -- If you want to argue a point and be taken seriously though, you have to provide adequate evidence. And their various arguments just aren't convincing. (I could expand upon how it's also much more difficult to prove that something doesn't exist, but I've already written way more than I intended to for what was gonna just be a short rant).

3.) If they literally watched a different, alternate universe version of OFMD, then they're not gonna convince anyone in this universe that 1+1=3 like it does in their universe. Maybe that's correct math in their universe, but that's not how it works here.

Here's the thing -- and I'm gonna use a simple example here. You can say that you don't like cilantro. You can hate it, you can be disgusted by it, especially considering that it might taste like soap to you. And that's ok! But you don't get to make the claim that it doesn't enhance the flavor of other foods/dishes in a positive way or that many people think it's yummy.

So take this simple advice, would you? You can just say "This isn't for me" and just not eat it. You don't get to say "This is bad and I'm going to keep pushing my thoughts about it onto people who do enjoy it, even while they're eating it, because I need to convince everyone to hate it too." That's not an opinion, that's just being a fucking dick. Go join your local chapter of the Cilantro Hater's Club and complain about it there with other like-minded people, and let the rest of us enjoy our cilantro in fuckin peace. And don't be surprised if we shut the door in your face (muting/blocking) when we're sick of hearing how much you hate something we love.

[agoldenblackbird]

i'm gonna be a ranty bitch for a minute.

tbh i'm turned off even reading new buddie fic despite being a multishipper and have unfollowed a bunch of buddie accounts because i'm sick of the smug attitudes. one ask that i am otherwise not going to publish or respond to ended with 'sorry you don't understand media literacy bestie :)' fuck off. listen INFANT, i have been writing fanfic and original fic AND watching, reading and analyzing queer media since before you were born, i understand how character and story development works, and i know the difference between 'storyline i personally disliked' and 'bad writing.' this was BOTH, and it also was marketed to us as 'carefully crafted bi rep' and 'queer love story that is not about a bunch of pain and conflict FOR ONCE' so we have every right to be upset at the bait-and-switch.

the fact that i'm seeing the same exact posts - 'bt bones buddie CANON' that i saw three seasons ago after the bucktaylor breakup, or every time they thought buck and taylor MIGHT break up - says something. the fact that so many fans seem genuinely convinced (STILL!) that buddie is inevitable because there have been so many 'signs,' and then they rattle off a convoluted theory that would make the most hardcore taylor swift stan say 'wow, that's a bit of a reach,' honestly weirded me out a little when i first joined the 911 fandom. i have never been in a fandom where so many fans are insistent that their ship will be - not might be or could be, but WILL be - canon. i am skeptical both from past experience with other shows mishandling queer storylines or ship-baiting, and tim minnear's proven track record with this one of not really knowing what to do with buck's LI's. but i didn't want to yuck anybody's yum, so i let them have their theories and squee in peace, and unfollowed or blocked certain tags if i was seeing too much of it and getting annoyed. it's too out there for me, but i'm glad they're having fun!

yet they can't give us the same courtesy. they deride us as delusional for thinking that a canon pairing that was presented to us both in promo and the show itself as different and important (eg the bobby approval convo and 'buck getting off the hamster wheel') might last, and we're stupid to have ever liked tommy or lou or be disappointed at how the breakup was written, and if we point out the biphobia it's just sour grapes.

the bucktommy breakup is not the first time 911 has started out strong with an interesting storyline and fumbled it in the 4th quarter either because the writers got bored or in the name of needless drama/a 'gotcha' sudden twist. amir & bobby, eddie's fight club arc, the sperm donor SL, hen vs councilwoman ortiz, whatever the hell is going on with harry, the whole mess with shannon/kim, just to name a few. and especially the past couple of seasons, for me since 6b, the pacing has been off. they seem to have too much happening at once and many of the storylines don't have enough room to breathe to be narratively satisfying, or they get resolved in ways that feel lackluster.

if the toxic buddie stans who have been attacking lou on sm and sending death threats (wtf!) actually get what they want, which i admit is possible, but it's certainly not guaranteed….i don't know why they think the writers won't fumble that just as badly. it's not going to happen precisely the way they want it to because it is impossible to please everybody, that's what fanfic is for. but at this point i have zero faith that it would even be well done at all, and zero trust in the writers not to just sabotage or regress a character for funsies, and that's an excellent reason to stop watching the show. in most of my other fandoms i regard canon as a jumping-off point or a blurry outline at best, and i can have just as much fun in the 911 sandbox without any further input from canon at all, once i'm less angry.

[wifeofsnowbaird]

can you do a Tom Blyth x reader where they are filming like a romcom or something and they fall in love over the course of filming? i was thinking fluff but i would not be upset if it somehow ended up with some smut in their trailer ;) , just follow your heart!! lots of love ❤️

ofc! I’m absolutely shitty at smut tho i might try with this one but idk so fluff it is❤️ it’s gonna have 3 parts bc it’s definitely gonna need more than a short post!

this first part isnt really when they're filming i just wanted Tom to have a slight crush after seeing ur story and wanted a small scene with Rachel and Josh!

So long I've been out in the rain and snow.

But the winter's come and gone, and a little bird told me so.

Part 1/Part 2/

(Tom Blyth x actress!reader)

summary: you and Tom meet for the first time while Josh is in the middle of the livestream. It's become the new famous ship of the internet.

You were one of the newest actresses in Hollywood and luckily you managed to grab a role with one of the most famous actors right now, Tom Blyth.

Ever since he starred in The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, people have been thirsting for him like he was water.

You wouldn't lie, you were one of them, but you two were supposed to meet in a coffee shop, reciting your lines and you were late.

" Oh you're [Name] [Last name], nice to meet you! Sorry, my friends decided to follow me here. "

Tom grinned, blue eyes twinkling in the sunlight, an apology gleaming in his pupils.

"No worries, it's fine! I'm so sorry I'm late, it was just traffic!"

" Don't worry, I'm just glad you made it!"

You took in a deep breath and extended your arm for a handshake. Surprisingly, he hugged you instead. You met the two 'friends' who are actually fucking Josh Rivera and Rachel Zegler who were seemingly livestreaming on Instagram.

" And here is the new couple! Say hi, you two love birds!"

Tom rolled his eyes before letting you go to tell Josh off.

" We aren't dating, we actually just met."

Josh turned, confused for a second before gazing at Tom's phone that was left on his chair.

"Wait, seriously? Didn't you see a post of her being your new co-star in that rom-com you're doing and started bragging a lot to Rachel and me? What's it?"

He thought for a minute before his eyes lit up and he smiled brightly.

"Oh, yeah! Sweet truth, where a girl had a bunch of exes tell lies and cheat but then finds a man who tells her nothing but the truth?"

Tom hissed and shut Josh up by covering his mouth, before he noticed Rachel leaning toward confused you, beginning to tell you the whole story.

His panicked face turned red.

" So it was a couple weeks ago, we were just calmly hanging out after reshooting some Ballad scenes when Tom showed us your Insta where you were like, I don't know, talking about the movie you're gonna be in! He was literally obsessed, I am not kidding."

She shrugged as Tom glared at her for spilling his secret.

"I'm sorry, I mean you're beautiful and I-"

He cleared his throat, unable to continue because of his embarrassment.

You giggled, shrugging.

" It's cool, I mean I think you're hot-I mean handsome too."

Inside you were literally screaming at yourself for exposing the fact that he's your celebrity crush.

" Uh, guys, I hope this isn't method acting because I'd be really disappointed in you, Tom" Josh snickered, sharing a mischievous glance with Rachel.

Tom rolled his eyes, smiling at you before beckoning to the chair beside him.

" Let's, uh, practice...?"

[jq37]

So, that lady FH episode was amazing and all, but...

Hoo boy, I already see the discourse around the Ratgrinders' fates forming and it is going to be painful. Be careful around the fandom space.

(I mean, resurrection is still on the table for them, but that's based on if the players feel like it and right now, we're looking at 50/50 odds at bests)

Yeah, don't worry about me. This isn't my first rodeo and also I post a lot about D20 and respond to asks I get but I don't actually personally engage with any of The Discourse (tm).

And I'm not really surprised at the reaction. I know people have been opinionated all season in two main camps (that have a lot of overlap): people dissatisfied with the narrative direction and people deeply sympathetic to the Rat Grinders to the point of being mad at the Bad Kids.

The first camp I mostly understand. I get wishing the cast would explore a certain storyline more. For example, I've been on the Aelwyn redemption arc train since literally the first episode of Fantasy High so I was a little disappointed that when that finally came to a head in Freshman Year, it was a big fight and then very little aftermath/unpacking because Aelwyn was sent to jail right after. And Sophomore Year hadn't been announced so I had no idea that she was gonna get another shot. But I wasn't upset or anything. Adaine at that point still hated her sister. She had no reason to want to reach out. And at the end of the day this is other people playing a game. Brennan presented them all the possible plot threads and they were most interested in self discovery, hanging out with each other, doing Shenanigans, and playing Tomb Raider re: Ankarna. Those are all options they were presented and it's not like they were doing crazy off-roading. It's well within the parameters of what D&D is. If you're gonna watch a show like this (or honestly any show), you have to accept that what's most interesting to you isn't always going to be the most interesting thing to the people in the driver's seat.

So yeah, I feel like this side of things I get (even though I'm fine with how things turned out).

The other camp--people being legit mad at the Bad Kids (and in some cases the actual cast) for treating the Rat Grinders like antagonists instead of victims that they were responsible for empathizing with and redeeming--I find kind of wild.

Like…you're mad at the kids who go to Child Murder School for killing kids who want to end the world and kill them specifically? Literally the first day of school the principal of the school says that adventurers are violent wanderers who engage in shenanigans and enact violence. This is the exact assignment they were given and that's what they're doing.

I think it's wild to at the same time believe that the Rat Grinders (who have killed people) are not responsible for their actions and deserve to be talked down while in the process of causing an apocalypse because they're just kids who were manipulated while at the same time calling the Bad Kids evil lunatics for trying to stop them by killing them (in a world where Revivify and Resurrection exist) even though they are ALSO kids who are doing what they've learned at Child Murder School. The Bad Kids have to be mature enough to thoroughly investigate the situation and have nuance about it but the Rat Grinders don't have any responsibility to not join a shady evil murder plan*? And do the Bad Kids really hate the Rat Grinders to the point where they're doing some overkill in this fight? Absolutely. But it's not like they're killing them because they hate them. They're killing them because they're trying to end the world--and they also happen to hate them. Are we forgetting that Kipperlilly killed Buddy--her own teammate--with a gleeful smile on her face? That was so out of pocket.

They're adventurers! Not guidance counselors! If Jawbone was like, "We need to kill these kids," yeah that would be weird but why would the Bad Kids extend an olive branch to the kids who (1) famously hate them, (2) killed at least one maybe 2 of their own party members, (3) endangered the entire student body population an hour ago, (4) are currently trying to end the world. Hell, Adaine was ready to be mean to her own sister in elf jail literally up until the point Brennan described how rough she looked from the torture and that's when she changed her mind. The Power of Love and Empathy is on the menu but it's a special item you only can get if you know the chef. Everyone else is getting a serving of These Hands. Just because you can find a vegan solution to a problem it doesn't mean you're obligated to.

This all comes down to, "Maybe teenagers shouldn't have godlike powers and the ability to play judge, jury, and executioner" but that's literally the premise of the entire show so you can't get around it without rejecting the show's entire premise. If they were like, "Hmm the systems that underpin our world are questionable and we should change the power structures" instead of, "Let's kill some bad guys!" then that's a totally different thing we're doing here!

And, idk man, this show has always had a Who Framed Roger Rabbit style morality where the normal rules of ethics stop applying when it's funny. They beat the crud out of Ragh and then lied to him that he shit his pants just for the bit. A pirate was rude/kinda racist to Riz so they scared him into killing himself. Riz ate the remains of the sentient (albiet evil) dragon he killed. That's all unhinged behavior but none of that is meant to be serious. Getting upset about Fig sending Ruben to hell to me feels like getting mad that Jerry hit Tom with a cartoonishly large mallet.

None of this is new so I have to assume that people are having a big reaction because they relate to the Rat Grinders or just really like them so it feels bad that the Bad Kids are treating them like fodder rather than beloved NPCs.

But again, this is a world where you can bring people back from the dead and the Rat Grinders have showed intent that is grievously neglectful at best and insanely murderous at worst so I can't muster a lot of sympathy for the fact that the Bad Kids are just taking them down without remorse. I don't think you have to try to empathize with the people who are trying to harm you if you don't want to especially while they are in the process of harming you.

(*And we still don't know how voluntarily they joined this plan. We don't know if they were killed and basically forced into resurrecting with rage or if they just leapt at the chance to join a plan that would let them get one over on their rivals. It literally could be either. We've had kid villains on this show strong armed into being party to evil plans by threat of harm (Aelwyn) as well was kid villains who just had their own selfish motivations and weren't tricked at all (Penelope and Biz). We actually don't have any clear answer on how culpable they are. We don't know if they all have rage crystals (except for Buddy). And we don't know how much having a Rage Crystal effects your actions. The best indicator we got is in this latest ep when Brennan said that there was a mechanic where Porter was going to call anyone with a rage crystal to fight for him but that says to me that he's only directly puppeting them when he uses that action and otherwise they have free will and are just angrier. The Bad Kids don't have a reason to believe definitively that the Rat Grinders are just unwilling puppets even if that is the case so of course they're treating them like enemies. Anyway, this is a whole lot of "I don't knows" but that's only because I've seen a lot of people talking like the Rat Grinders literally aren't in control of their actions but that's not info that we have. It could be true but we don't actually know that so it's not a good argument.)

[rinanar]

hey! I hope you are doing well! since your request are open, I really really really want you to write some scenarios for lookism male characters with the king of Busan reader (female/non-binary) have a good day!

BUSAN? WHO? ! SCENARIOS

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─୨.･❀.･ৎ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

character/s : Taesoo Ma, Jaegyeon Na, Gongseob Ji

type : scenario — crack — f!reader

warning/s - details : swearing

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─୨.･❀.･ৎ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

TAESOO MA :

"..What the hell do you mean you don't wanna fight me?!" You yelled, your eyebrows furrowing. It was as if you were more disappointed than mad, even.

"Well, because you're— you know" He shrugged, slightly shocked and embarrassed from your yelling.

"Because I'm what? Say it."

"Because you're not the previous King?"

"I know you were gonna say something else!

It went silent after what you said. He knows you know he was gonna say it was because you're a woman.

It's not like he's looking down on you, he's just...he doesn't lay a finger on ladies, you know?

"If you aren't gonna fight me I'm gonna tell everyone you're the most misogynistic— anti-feminist boy I've ever met"

You said it as a joke, but you could see his eye twitch at your words.

"...I'm not a boy— I'm a man!"

"That's what you're upset about???"

"And I love ladies!"

JAEGYEON NA :

"At least my car isn't tacky" you spat through the phone, and this argument has been going on for hours.

"WHAT?!" he outright lost his mind at that, he was gripping his phone so tightly you could hear the cracks coming from your side.

You knew he easily gets agitated when it was about his junk of a car, and you loved seeing him mad over and over again.

"At least I didn't cry when I lost in a game of Tekken!" He spat back.

"Excuse you?! How'd you know about that?!" You sat up from your bed out of shock, how'd he find out about that? You told Taesoo to keep it a secret!

But as soon as you asked that question, fortunately for him, he hung up.

GONGSEOB JI :

"...Ew..."

"What?"

"Why do you even do that?"

"Do what?!" He asked you, slightly agitated from that disgusted face you're making.

"Like..pee on people?" You responded hesitantly, wondering if you made the right choice of asking him.

"You're acting like I pee on them when they're conscious." He snorted, playing with his accessories absentmindedly.

"You're acting like that's any better!"

It went silent after that, left with you just staring at him playing with his accessories.

"I do it because it feels good, obviously."

"...Ew"

─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─୨.･❀.･ৎ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─ ─

a/n : gongseob's part is kinda short but it's okay cus he deserves it / hj

[leikeliscomet]

Heartstopper's Aspec Representation Isn't For Me - And That's Okay (Mini Essay)

Spoilers for Series 3!

So I just finished series 3 and I feel conflicted. I don't hate Heartstopper at all. I think it's a very cute show. I'm happy queer baby gen z and gen alpha have something to see themselves in, I love how Tara, a darkskin Black lesbian girl is happy in her relationship. I'm happy Isaac makes my fellow aspecs happy. I'm happy Charlie tore Ben's singlet in series 2 and for once the victim/survivor is allowed to not forgive their assaulter. I like Heartstopper's little moments but I've felt like something was missing overall and now we're on the third season, I think I know what it is now. There's comments on BL and yaoi by Alice Oseman I don't fully agree with, some of the acting in the show could be a bit better I guess, most of the characters are comfortably in the British middle class and I am a grown adult now so my interest in school/teen dramas has dipped a little bit (but not you Waterloo Road ily <3). So to an extent, there were always gonna be limits on how much I enjoy this show, but nevertheless, I still think they're worth pointing out, especially if we're claiming Heartstopper for the next gen of queer rep. Because honestly having watched shows like Heartbreak High and Koisenu Futari plus being a massive Selah and the Spades fan, I feel a bit robbed in terms of quality.

Isaac still feels underdeveloped and for a show that's been going on for 3 series now this feels disappointing. Like obviously Nick and Charlie get all the screentime as they're the main characters. Tao and Elle got a lot more juicer storylines from s2, Tara and Darcy got more to work with this series even if it was rushed (oh I miss you long series 2010s shows), but Isaac still feels leaps behind everyone else. He didn't really get anything in series 1. In series 2 we saw him coming to terms with his identity which felt like a good starting point but I was still waiting for the 'big asexual plans' Alice Oseman promised and... nothing. I liked his comment about googling aromanticism to Charlie because the representation by PowerPoint style of aspec writing can get tired. I also liked his moment of feeling left out by his friends plus still wanting to know Nick and Charlie's tea, giving him sexual agency whilst aroace instead of feeding into infantilisation. But apart from that... nothing. I wanted to feel more moved by the aquarium scene, but it felt tacked on because whilst Isaac's upset was justified, Imogen just wanted to chat about gay fish, so Isaac came across as a little passive-aggressive instead of what was supposed to be his moment. Plus it feels a little backhanded how much effort series 1 went to in how big coming to terms with your identity is, plus the gorgeous way Isaac's aroace revelation was filmed in series 2 was filmed just to have him blurt it out in an aquarium and have barely any of his friends actually support him like he supported them. But life imitates art I guess. This whole season we've seen characters talking about university plans, gap years and going through the post-16 struggle. But what about Isaac? We never find out what uni he wants to go to or even if he wants to go. What subjects does he like? What job does he want post-school? What's his relationship like with his family? The people need to know! I always found it weird how Isaac was left out to the point where straight characters, whilst still bearing in mind that Tao x Elle is an interracial pairing between two POC and one of which is a trans girl and this is very rare and deserved representation too, had gotten more screentime than him. Imogen, Sahar, Mr Ajayi and Mr Farouk had all been introduced for bigger storylines but Isaac, despite being in the main group, still had to wait for his share. This series was such a huge moment for everyone but Isaac... again. And whilst I'm happy if everyone else is, I genuinely feel like we all deserve better.

Tori was given bigger moments this series and that was great because I was waiting for my introverted slurping sister to come through. Her concern and care for Charlie and jealousy of Nick were great plus with the introduction of Michael, it was all leading to the big reveal of Tori being ace, right? Right? Wrong, because this scene was cut from the ferris wheel moment and I have no idea why. Oseman confirmed it was because Tori's storyline will continue in s4 and she didn't want to rush it but like, what? Series 3, at least in my eyes, did an alright job at building up her coming out. And again, if Nick could get his bi awakening in a one series arc, why can't this asexual character then too? They also covered Darcy's non-binary transition and coming out in this series too so I don't know why there wasn't room for Tori apparently. There was plenty of room for an 'I'm asexual' within those 5 minutes. Waiting to develop her in series 4, which is yet to be confirmed and likely to be the show's last series so it will already have a lot to do with wrapping up the Nick x Charlie saga seems like a poor decision. This is the second time we've had to wait till next season for the aspec character's arc by the way.

I'd like to see some aroallo POVs on this but this season put a lot of emphasis on linking love and sex together and it felt a bit strange icl. Yes, they're linked socially/societally and it's great to have sex with someone you love and love someone you have sex with etc etc etc but the first 2 series made a point of separating the two by showing love without sex and how it was just as meaningful. Almost every time a character was sexually attracted to another e.g. calling them hot or started making out because they wanted to have sex in that given moment there would be a dialogue from one of them going 'it's okay we're in love 'it's normal you're in love' 'well that's what people in love do!' and these are all correct statements but like... we get it! You don't have to be head over heels in love to find someone sexually attractive or just want to have sex with them. It's okay if you're not in love too y'know? I'm not sure what that constant reassurance was for because depicting sex without love isn't as pearl clutchy as it seems when all parties are safe, consenting and comfortable, or, if you've ever had any knowledge about aro(allo) spaces tbf. Nick and Charlie are not aspec and are very much sexually attracted to each other so the conclusion of them having sex isn't surprising at all, especially when I already knew from tweets back in series 1 that Heartstopper the comic already had a storyline later on of the two having sex for the first time. Plus the other characters aren't aspec either so their sexual debuts are also unsurprising and deserved. Plus, I'm actually glad they included Tara and Darcy having sex because many 'sex positive' shows seem to leave out the lesbians. But for a show with an aroace creator and aspec characters, the depictions of romance and sex don't feel like they were written from an aspec lense or for an aspec audience. It's normal for people to be romantically and sexually attracted to each other and then date and have sex. But if you're aspec, you know this. We all know this. This is the mainstream and default depiction of human (hetero)sexuality. We're watching the queer shows to see something different from that. When romance without sex can only hinge on the characters being below the age of consent plus a supposed 'innocence' due to their young age and sex without love is non existent, plus when you factor in how there are no aroallo or alloace characters in the show with 'groundbreaking' aspec representation, it makes for a bit of a headscratcher. Heartstopper may be made by an aspec, has aspec characters and aspec fans, I don't consider it an aspec show. Bit sad, but it is what it is.

It's honestly strange how despite this fact, asexuality and aromanticism is barely mentioned in the main discourse about this show. Antis claim Oseman is a cishet woman despite being non-binary and aroace. They blame the sexlessness of the show on puritanism despite Oseman being aroace. There's constant arguments about how 'unrealistic' it is for teenagers to not have sex despite Isaac being a whole teenage aroace and how some people just didn't have sex in their teens... like aspecs. People are annoyed the show keeps giving Isaac aromantic and asexual storylines because it's 'not as important' and they 'don't care' as if he's not a main cast member and again, the creator is aroace! If you look at the promo pictures of the show, it has the main three pairings, Nick and Charlie, Tao and Elle and Tara and Darcy and no Isaac. Despite the fact it's supposed to be 'for' us and made by one of us, it's not. And a lot of non aspec queer fans watching the show don't see it for us despite being made by one of us either. And that's a real shame.

I'm fully aware Oseman knows about writing aroace characters from the book Loveless, which has an aroace MC. But I think Netflix choosing to adapt Heartstopper over Loveless was intentional. I think Netflix creating Isaac instead of Aled, a demi gay non-binary character from the og comic, was intentional. I think all the decisions Netlix made with Isaac and Tori are intentional, the same way bringing Yasmin Benoit to the Sex Education writers room to cut half of O's storylines was intentional. Netflix has fumbled the bag with asexual and aromantic representation several times now (Cash Piggot and Todd notwithstanding) so at this point, I'm not surprised anymore. Again, I'm happy for anyone who really likes Heartstopper, but I've finally accepted that it's not for me. And that's okay. When someone makes the predominantly aspec, slightly more grown, queer show with fully fleshed out arcs for its's asexual and/or aromantic characters or hits up Lovie Simone for the scrapped Selah and the Spades TV show, I know where I'll be.

We deserved our moments too. We deserve our Heartstopper.

[pyschedtrickster]

TADC Ep 2 - Depression and the Meaning of Life

Well, I may or may not be a day late to release of the episode, but I've watched it three times so far and I have some thoughts. Let's get the gritty stuff outta the way.

First of all, The Amazing Digital Circus belongs to @gooseworx and therefore everything I say here is just my personal take on the episode. I could be wrong, talking out my ass, etc. But this episode really spoke to me, so good job Goose.

Secondly, spoilers <3

Third, I think I've written enough that people won't get jumpscared with spoilers. This is gonna be a long read, so bear with me. This post will contain ALL my thoughts on the episode, both meaningful and just silly things I liked.

BUBBLE

So anyone who knows me from Bunnydoll Burrow knows I love Bubble. They're my favorite so far and this episode only cemented that further. They're wonderful comedic relief and even if they don't have any character development (which I don't think they will), I will always love them.

Caine Cares Too Much

While watching this, I was immediately off-put by Caine's reactions, even beginning with him calling Zooble back. He sounds so... dire? I don't know if that was intended to mean something or if it was just to put emphasis on how much Caine cares about his creations. Caine is AI, so world-building is likely his ONLY goal, or his prompt if you will. It wouldn't surprise me if that was why he was so upset by everyone's reactions.

But I can't help but wonder if this will play into his character arc. We understand that Caine is ambiguous right now and there's no real explanation of what his intentions are in the Circus. Something about this just really set me off. It made me feel unsafe in a way as if staying behind would result in danger of some kind. Obviously, it couldn't be that bad, as Zooble did stay behind and turned out fine. Still, I can't shake the feeling that this is foreshadowing.

Zoobie

Hilarious. What a solid nickname, I've seen so many headcanons that Zooble would be a stoner in the real world. This only makes it better. They are now Zoobie in my mind.

Pomni's Child Comment

While I'm sure this was just a silly comment to be made, I kinda liked it. Just a little in-show reminder that through all of this, Pomni is a real, grown-ass woman stuck inside some digital Hell. The whole first episode, we see her wallowing and panicking, justifiably so. Finally, we get to see her grow more serious and stable.

Through the episode, we see more of her being a good character and becoming more at terms with her situation. I'll touch on this more soon.

Gangle

My girl CANNOT catch a break. Gangle is such a funny character and so, so sweet. She's level-headed in my opinion, even through her emotions. She seems to have a good grip on the shit happening around her but has a hard time communicating properly because she has a lot of feelings going on. Me too, honey, me too.

Even in the face of violence, danger, and overall shitfuckery, she doesn't shut down. Sure, she cries. But I've cried plenty of times while still holding the fort down. I think I just relate to her.

Lastly, I NEED to know what this means like I need oxygen.

Government Mandated Shipping

I dunno man, I just really liked this. I'm a shipper at heart. I've been writing fanfic since middle school. I saw pure fanfic material when I watched this scene.

Kinger and Raggs

This scene made me smile. It's a cute nod towards how Kinger is the longest-standing character and, according to some lost post of Goose's, Ragatha is the second. Plus, all of episodes one and two, we see her trying so hard to be a rock for Pomni. She tries to include everyone, keep everyone cheerful, and be a stable constant in a realm of chaos; Seeing Kinger recognize how far she's come and using that to bring her back to reason was just so refreshing. Ragatha deserves more appreciation like that: less about what she does for others, and more about what she's done for herself.

Jax's Disappointment

So we don't know much about Jax besides how Goose loves him and says he's an asshole who may or may not be irredeemable. When he started talking about violence and getting excited at the thought, I chalked it up to him being an ass. But it struck me just how much this mattered to Jax in this scene. I have questions, man. But I'm about to go on a wild tangent, so hear me out.

Jax is happy when being destructive. He gets immediately upset when things go well. And in the circus, we can assume that there have been a lot of traumatic, wild things that have occurred. I wonder if the chaos, the violence, is a comfort for Jax because of those traumatic experiences. As a person with trauma, I've learned that there's a funny cycle that I and other traumatized people experience.

We don't like the situations we're in, but when faced with normalcy, it's so much scarier than the damaging situation we come from. So, we run from 'normal' back into the suffocating arms of our traumatizing situations for comfort. Going back to the situation means more trauma, more trauma means a harder time finding peace in a safe, normal environment, which means more trauma... you get the picture.

So am I saying a fictional purple bunny is using violence in a digital realm to cope with the very real topic of trauma? Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am. This is how I cope.

Depression, Finding Your Place, and the Bigger Picture

Now you may be saying, "hey! You skipped over some major scenes to talk about silly stuff! What gives?"

Well, as the title of this post suggests, I had some heavier stuff to address in this episode and wanted to compile it all in one section. So that meant skipping over a scene to bunch it in with other ones. I'll break it down.

Depression

Let me begin with the fact that I have been diagnosed with depression for years now. I've been hospitalized for it and I've had family members struggle with it around me. This heavily influenced how I viewed this episode and specifically this scene.

Gummigoo had a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing the perfect replica of him that is his model. Seeing something like that would shatter your world, and we see that happen to him immediately.

But when Gummigoo talked to Pomni and asked why anything matters, it gave me this really familiar feeling. Thoughts of being nothing, of feeling meaningless, the mere idea of being an obstacle--I've experienced all of these. I'm sure others have. Pomni was right when she said it's normal. Everyone has felt down from time to time.

But what Gummigoo is talking about really hit home with my depression. Thoughts like these, especially when they linger for long, change how you view the world. Everything is tinted blue and desaturated. You feel empty and eventually, so does the world around you. You feel like when the party is over and everyone leaves, you disappear--or you think you should, at least.

"Why are you trying to cheer me up? How does this benefit you at all?"

And it's so, so hard to accept help when feeling like this. Depression is a bitch in the way that it wants you to stay depressed. It feels like everyone around you wants you to feel better because it is a convenience for them. It almost feels transactional if you smile.

But Pomni says it so beautifully; "I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."

The way she says it makes me feel like she knows the feeling too, and in reality, she says she does understand in a way how Gummigoo feels. But that? That made it real for me. I don't know why. This whole scene, the entrapment and loneliness despite not actually being alone, just embodied how I've felt for years. What amazing writing.

Finding Your Place

This scene was really the cherry on top of everything I just spoke about. We see that these two understand each other, at least as much as they can. They recognize all of this, it's ridiculous. They're hurtling through space into the unknown, hoping everything works out. They may feel empty, but they're not alone. They've got each other, for better or worse. Maybe they don't know where they belong in this liminal space, but they know where they stand in each other's minds.

And then we get this ending scene. God. Fuck.

I knew that there was obviously something to that dream Pomni had in the beginning, but somehow I didn't expect this to be the conclusion to it. I guess I was too distracted by everything else. So when I got to this shot, I got all warm and teary-eyed.

Pomni finally feels like she's got a pack, a place in this digital circus. When you don't feel mentally alone anymore, there seems to be a weight that's lifted off your shoulders. It doesn't cure the sadness, but at least you know that if you need to be picked up, someone will be there. Depression wants you to be alone, but it just lost that battle. The internet has said it best: A win is a win.

The Bigger Picture

We all know where the end of the road is. How we get there is the mystery. This thought can really make a person feel small, especially when depression comes in to tell you that you in fact are small, according to the chemicals in your brain. But the power of numbers and knowing your place in the world makes facing the unknown a little easier.

I'll be honest, the words are kinda lost on me at this point. Our demise is a really hard topic to broach. I've lost a lot of people, especially some major players in my life (shoutout to the Dead Dads club), and still, I don't understand it all. But the best way I can explain it is through my own experience and how I applied it to this episode.

I had for a long time gone through life trying to prepare and prepare. I played the role of the strong, unaffected individual after being hardened by trauma in childhood. I didn't want to be outwardly emotional, because if I was I would have to admit defeat.

It made me feel weak, especially when my depression would whisper nasty things to me about my self-worth. The bigger picture at that time didn't even exist in my mind. I lived to serve and die. It was no way to live.

Only recently, with time, a couple grippy sock vacays and therapy have I started to form my own, new big picture. At the center of this is my interactions with others. Family, friends, and strangers, all of them are affected by my actions. Even during the days when I feel worthless or alone, I remind myself that even the little things I do have a spiderweb effect. I have worth, more so than serving others or being some obstacle. I can simply walk down the street and perhaps I'll be the person who some kid looks at and hopes to look like when they're older. My existence is so much more than just a give-and-take situation with everyone around me.

It felt like Pomni found her purpose in the circus, and it was more than just playing along until the end. Rather, it was to befriend the people around her who have proved in one way or another way that they care. Abstraction wasn't in vain to them. Lives mattered, and therefore so did Pomni.

In a vast, digital world where chaos looms like a grey cloud, Pomni always mattered. She just had to realize how, and it was much more than being an obstacle or a pawn. And so do we, I think.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ ℙ𝕝𝕒𝕪 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕕𝕠𝕘𝕤 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @miya-akane @hayillaaaaaaa @stellas-starry-stories13 @nenes-numberonefan @hakulivesformusic @wabatle @luhvashh

ᵀᴼᴰᴬʸ'ˢ ᴬᴿᵀ : Play with dogs - Akito Shinonome

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

You have no idea how but few years ago... catboys and catgirls just began living among humans! Luckily for them, goverment decided they'll have the same rights as humans, despite their animalistic features.

Currently, you were walking to your favorite cafe~ Maybe food wasn't special there but the owner was! And you simply couldn't wait to visit him~

"Hey! How's my favorite boy doing~?"

After entering you immidietly announced your presents and walked towards ginger catboy, immidietly going to give him gentle scratch behind his ear. Akito being tsundere he is, immidietly backed away, acting like he was upset at you.

"I thought I told you not to do that!!"

"And I told you I'm still gonna do it!"

"You're as annoying as ever I see... at least I know you're nost sick... What do you want?"

"You should already know my usual, kitty~"

"Akito. Call me Akito for once."

"Maybe in few years~"

He just rolled his eyes and stood up to do your coffee personally. It was definitely quite a caring move for someone who just complained about you~ Not only that, he also makes a coffee for himself while he's at it!

"Someone's up for a chat I see~"

"You're annoying when you're teasing. But you actually can come up with some interesting stories if you try."

"Well I'll make sure to not disappoint you then!"

He peacfully did coffee for you two, his workers not getting in the way, usuals already used to the owner doing coffee for the special customers... so you didn't even get many glances or attention!

Finally, he invited you to a table next to window and places your favorite coffee in front of you and a latte in front of himself.

"So... what gossip you got this time?"

You chuckled already knowing what you want to tell him but... maybe not NOW~ He could wait just a little bit more, right?

"Well~ I think I'm a magnet for ginger cats! Because some have been really affectionate to me lately~"

"I-I'm not!! I simply am interested in town's gossips... nothing more..."

He looked away blushing, his ears fluttered as he did. Your smirk just had to widen when you got the precise reaction you wanted too!

"Who said I meant you? I meant a street cat that's been walking me home and snuggling to me lately~"

"It what...?"

You expected him to look flustered that he misunderstood... but suddenly he seemed more... pissed? But after a quick sip of his coffee he retreated his indifferent demeanor.

"Simple street cat won't protect you from some creep, y'know? They're too small..."

"But they're cute?"

"That's not making up."

He took another sip as you two sat in silence for a little while. It's not like you didn't had a topic... just simply decided to leave him in silence to make him talk a bit more~

"I can walk you back home today."

"Oh? Why so suddenly? You have your cafe to manage, you know that, right?"

"Of course! I don't have short-term memory!! Just... accept it or leave it."

"I think I'll leave it~"

He looked at you annoyed, you had to hold yourself back from laughing right here and now. But then he just sighed and leaned back.

"Fine, I'm not gonna then."

"No, no, no!! I was joking!!! Please do!"

"You're so unbelievably weird, you know that?"

"Said half cat."

"Those are simply genes!!"

You just laughed him off and sipped your coffee, enjoying the show~ But of course that wasn't your WHOLE conversation! As promised, you also told him every single gossip you heard recently!

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[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Ah this is gonna be long and stupid but hear me out.

So as a kid i would rewatch Power Rangers Operation Overdrive a lot.

In that show it's revealed that the main red ranger is a robot like, I want to say 2/3rds of the way through? and I still clearly remember the first time I rewatched that show and caught a moment of foreshadowing because they were alien superpower nonsenisng-y themselves through a barrier but it only worked with organic matter and the group gets cut in half because it stopped at the red ranger.

I was so proud when I saw that and thought "oh! It's because he's a robot, they're hinting at it before!" I felt really clever and it's seared into my memory over a decade later so it was kind of formative for me.

And that's why while there are aspects of Miraculous I can acknowledge are just like, things that don't vibe with me personally, the senti twist is that genuinely upsets me because a kid rewatching that show is gonna see this and instead of going back to see the earlier instances of foreshadowing they're gonna be like "wait this doesn't work with xyz" and that makes me feel not exactly anger but like, extreme disappointment.

Anyway that's probably more than anyone cares about but that's my stance on it

I don't think it's stupid at all! I look back fondly on similar experiences from my own childhood. It's part of the reason I'm so passionate about kids being given good stories. It's an important part of developing critical analysis skills.

One example that comes to mind is the movie Hoodwinked. There's a scene in that movie where a character says something that strongly foreshadows that he's the villain and I remember feeling proud that I caught it when I was a kid.

The reason this example stands out is that, if you listen to the director's commentary - yes, I'm that kind of nerd - he talks about how fun it is to watch the movie with kids and have the kids catch that line. The kids get so excited that they figured it out because of course they do! It's fun to solve puzzles and the director knew that! His team wanted the kids to engage with their story and remember it. His joy in giving kids that experience is why the commentary sticks in my mind even though it's been years since I watched it! (It's also the only part of the commentary that I remember.)

This modern trend of twists that no one could predict is utterly baffling to me. While there are certainly stories that call for that sort of thing, they're rare. In most cases, it's so much more satisfying to tell a well-crafted story that a person can really lose themselves in.

[risingsoleil]

can we get hc on teen parents (17-18) linzin and the gaang's reaction?

Lin feels like a failure and is terrified. She has no idea what Tenzin will say, but she knows that this child could be an airbender, so she should keep baby....

When she tells Tenzin, he's definitely shocked. But he asks very softly and innocently, "We're gonna be a family?" And something about that question makes Lin feel like she chose the right guy to have a kid with.

Telling Tenzin was fine, but now what about their family?

Immediately, Lin can feel the dread from the acolytes and the press.

Against her headstrong nature, Lin holds Tenzin's hand and says, "Let's go someplace else."

"Where?"

"Anywhere. But not here. I...I don't want anyone else to know. We could go to my grandparents."

Tenzin is a bt confused because they will be fine in RC. His parents are here, plus his mom is the best healer ever. So Lin would be in very safe hands. But Lin points at an acolyte walking by and Tenzin understands.

And so, Tenzin tells his family Lin wants to visit her grandparents and he'll go with her. They don't give much other explanation, besides they will leave in the next few days and will write/call when they can.

Katara and Aang dont see a problem with it, but find it a bit odd.

When they get to Gaoling, Poppy immediately senses something is up. It takes a couple weeks until Lin privately tells her about the pregnancy and that she doesn't want anyone knowing. Not even Toph right now. She wanted to have space from the city so that she, Tenzin, and baby aren't stressed.

Poppy is a bit disappointed and upset, she supports and loves Lin very much. at least Tenzin is showing that he wants to be part of their lives and will be there for them. Unlike the men Toph got involved with.

Everything goes great for Linzin. Lao almost wanted Tenzin murdered, but he's calmed down a bit after they had a man-to-man talk. Tenzin told him that he will marry Lin, but doesn't want to ask immediately bc Lin will think it's only bc of baby. He tells him that he has a betrothal necklace in the works and that he'll give it to Lin at the right time.

Lao and Poppy bring in the best healers in Gaoling to monitor Lin's pregnancy.

Baby is growing well and it's in the 6 month of pregnancy, that Katara, Aang, and Toph visit Gaoling.

They're in for a hella big surprise when they see pregnant Lin.

Kataang hounds Tenzin.

Toph interrogates and grills both of them.

"How long have you known?! How far along are you?!"

"...Just past 6 months..."

"Did you get knocked up here or before?"

"Before."

Katara and Aang go into some long lecture that Lin is not really listening to. Toph is going insane listening to them prattle on, so she just imprisons Tenzin's body with earth.

"Alright loverboy, since you got my kid knocked up, what are you gonna do about it? If you give the wrong answer, you get an early funeral and your parents go to jail."

Katara glares at her. "Why do we go to jail?"

"For offing your son. Then you try to kill me, but I beat both of your asses anyway. So you go to jail for being losers."

"That doesn't make any sense, Toph! And it's not ethical!"

"So what? Proves that I'm still better than you two."

Linzin is just trying to get out of this conversation. When everyone finally calms down, Lin is like "I wanted to leave because I didn't want to be around the press and acolytes. Gaoling felt safe for me and our baby. So I did what was best for us and Tenzin supported me. Sorry we didn't tell you the truth, but we wanted to face this on our own."

All's well, and they do try to come to terms that they'll become grandparents. They love that it's between Lin and Tenzin, but just so shocked at their ages. But they do support them as much as they can. Giving advice, Katara taking over to monitor Lin's pregnancy, Aang guiding Tenzin on fatherhood + air nation culture, etc. Toph and her parents clash a bit bc they think she parented poorly for Lin to be a teen mom.

The convo between Toph and her parents gives her some perspective on how she hasn't been present for both of her girls. Suyin has been acting up and Toph is learning that she needs to be more involved.

Aang can't stay all the time bc Avatar duties, but he does write and visit when he can. Kya and Bumi also come down at different times to bully Tenzin lol

"It was that good, huh?" Bumi jeered, slapping Tenzin on the back.

"Go awayyy."

Kya punches his arm next. "Now remember, you hurt Lin, we break your bones."

"Yeah I got it. Why would I ever hurt her?"

"Because no girl would take you. You should be thankful Lin has a heart and wants to be with you. So if you fuck it up with her, we fuck you up."

Tenzin is so annoyed with them and just huffs and pouts, while wind blows in their faces.

Sokka and Suki manage to visit them, and they;re not judgmental. But they do try to give solid life advice to Tenzin. They feel like Lin is gonna be okay mostly and she's got things handled. But I think they want Tenzin to be a good man to Lin and a good father to baby. Hakoda fought in the war, so never intentionally abandoned him and Katara, but being a present father is the idea that Sokka drives into Tenzin.

Aang grew up with a different concept of family, so his advice to Tenzin about parenting has different content from Sokka's messages.

Izumi comes down to visit too, and she brings all kinds of snacks and gifts for Lin and baby. Iroh is probably already born around this time? So she can bring him too for Linzin to practice lol

Suyin doesn't want to visit Lin during the pregnancy at all because her sister is taking up Toph's attention. And she's pissed about it. She doesn't meet her new niece until Linzin returns to RC.

Tenzin was with Lin during the birth because he couldn't stand not being there. Katara delivered her granddaughter, and the delivery went smoothly.

The whole family is there (minus Suyin, Sokka, and Suki) and everyone is absolutely enamored with the baby.

Lin feels like she has to wait 30 mins until she can hold her own baby for more than 10 mins.

Katara shoos them out so that Lin and Tenzin can rest with their baby. But she stays close by, along with a few other trusted servants, to assist Lin and baby.

Lin and Tenzin have no idea what they're doing, but they know everythin will be okay.

[drdemonprince]

So I met a guy on a dating app. He’s also Autistic and we have a lot in common. Really hit it off and after some conversation he’s like To be honest I’m not looking for a relationship and I have someone else I really like but she’s not wanting a full on relationship either so we’re looking at ENM or maybe Poly but if that’s not your thing I understand. So I’m a bit disappointed but he’s sweet so I’m like ok let’s be friends.

Then it almost immediately gets sexual and we talk a lot about kink and fetish stuff that we seem pretty aligned with. Which is rare. We sexted a bit and it was great.

But today he told me he’s going on a date with someone. It’s actually a chick I also met off the the same app (I’m bi) but that didn’t bother me. What did bother me was that I got this instant reaction like upset that he was going on a date. It triggered something in me.

Not mad at all with him as he’s been super honest. But didn’t anticipate my own reactions.

So now I have to decide if I stop talking to him and let this go or if I try to move past it and enjoy the positive sides of our friendship.

We had tentative plans to meet in a few weeks time (we don’t live super close to each other). As a date but not a date.

Now I’m super confused about what to do. Especially as I really don’t meet many people that I vibe with and share similar “interests” with etc.

Just not entirely sure I’m built for the whole sharing thing…

Respectfully, it sounds like this dude fucking sucks ass at polyamory and doesn't know what the hell he's doing, and you're gonna get hurt.

First of all, he told you that he was poly because he is down bad for someone who doesn't want to be in a relationship with him? And so what, he's using his other dating partners as some kind of emotional or sexual stopgap?

That's objectifying and downgrading his potential future partners, including you, from the very start -- and it's setting you up to always be in the position of offering him temporary succor from the unrequited desires he has for this other person, only to be sidelined when she IS giving him a lot of attention. Sure, it's great he's being honest or whatever -- but the situation he's inviting you into is honestly disrespectful. You were disappointed to learn about this situation from the start. That feeling is an important signal! He's made it clear that he's not actually emotionally available and will NOT be consistent with you, and believes he has no reason to be.

It's also quite telling that after he established the nature of his relationship with this other person, he pivoted to getting very overtly sexual with you. This makes me wonder a lot about the woman he is pining away for, and what the terms of their relationship is according to her. (because if they're agreeing to get ENM or poly together, that's a relationship! Even if she says it's not a relationship).

Did she tell him that she cares about him but that she doesn't want to fuck him? Is she just less available than he'd like her to be, in terms of time and number of dates? What the hell is this arrangement between the two of them, how much of it was her proposal versus his idea, and where the hell do you fit in in all that?

If two people aren't fully sexually compatible and both parties want to explore sex and kink outside of their relationship to one another, that's fine; I'm living in that situation and it works great. But you have to approach prospective sexual partners with equal respect as you would your pre-existing partner (or whatever the hell she is to him, since they say they're not in a relationship?), and be clear about what you are and are not available for. It seems to me he asked you to be some kind of non-monogoamous, not-exactly-romantic-but-intimate "friends" with one another, and then tried to transition you into being a kinky sex partner once you expressed you could work with that.

I don't mean to remove your agency from this or act as if this is all something he is doing "to" you, because you expressed some interest in him and said the sexual connection is there. But... how much of this arrangement or how any of this is going has had anything to do with you or your stated preferences? Are you just going along with the flow because he seems nice and you want to see some possibilities there and for each new curveball he's throwing you, you're having to find some new way to justify it and make sense of it? What about what you want? What about your feelings? Why do you not get to determine what the relationship even is or where it is going, and he does? Because he's not getting what he wants elsewhere? That's not a good reason. That has nothing to do with you.

It makes sense to me, in light of what a mess his handling of this has been, that when you found out he was also pursuing other casual sexual partners that you felt jealous. Perhaps seeing him seeking out other non-committal, kind of formless sexual encounters with other people made you worry that you were being seen and treated by him in the same way, or that you were basically just a cog he was trying to slot into place for the time being. Or maybe you already felt on some level that you weren't given primacy in your relationship -- because this is a relationship of a kind! -- and now you have to worry about a whole other person who he has his own feelings for and agendas about altering how he relates to you.

You're not in the driver's seat in this relationship, hell you're not even really being consulted -- he's just making decisions about the various women in his life that he's trying to have meet needs for him and plugging them in and out of those roles as it suits him. The actual arrangement you all have entered into could be completely fine if all parties actively wanted it and had clarity and control over their own positions -- I'm a non-monogamous but *not* polyamorous person who dates people casually, and so i explicitly seek out others who are looking only for casual sex, that kind of stuff is fine -- but instead, this guy seems to be just making his choices up on the fly based on when he's horny, or lonely, or who is around and easy to get to.

I think you're giving a lot more latitude to him than he deserves, here. I'm not saying you need to dump him if you don't want to, if the sex seems like it could be fun you should go for it -- but on your terms. What do YOU want out of this connection? How do you see it? How much quality time, consistency, and commitment do you need? How comfortable are you with being non-monogamous and what kind of non-monogamy do you actively *want*? Do you see this guy as a friend? A casual partner (but a partner nonetheless)? A fuckbuddy?

There's a significant distance between you two, you two have been talking a lot, you call him a friend, and you call your plans to get together a "date." This is a relationship, whether he likes to admit it or not, and that comes with responsibilities to treat one another well and be honest, and to respect the other person's needs. And he doesn't seem to be showing any sense of responsibility toward the people he is in relationships with, and maybe doesn't even see them as relationships at all? He might seem nice, but the way he is navigating all of this is very selfish and instrumentalizes other people -- and so I think you should listen to that feeling you have of insecurity, because it's signalling that he's put you in a very insecure place.

Tagging in my homie @pastimperfection who always enjoys yelling about people doing poly badly

[vangbelsing]

Time for my ten morbillionth vent post for Veilguard. Or more accurately, me bellyaching about my very specific nitpicks that most other people will not have. Not really gonna include spoilers, but I'll add a cut since I'm certain not everyone is keen to read yet another complaint post for this game. So if you're not interested in reading a huge vent post about Rook, go ahead and skip this.

I have to say, for as much as I like the game, I think all of my pre launch anxieties were well founded. Rook is actually everything I assumed they would be, and I do not mean that as a compliment. And no, I'm not upset that pre launch headcanons are largely not applicable to Rook, but I do think that Rook is several steps back from the Inquisitor. I've always maintained that Inky was one of the best rpg protagonists in any of the games I've played, and this has just solidified it.

Inky was perfect to me. They couldn't be evil, but you had so many opportunities to flesh out who they are, what they believe, their personality and what their life was like before. And despite Veilguard having a wider variety of options for customizing your characters background, it actually feels more rigid than DAI. Not only does Rook feel less like my character in terms of their personality, a lot of their background, regardless of what you picked, feels more set.

I also have a huge beef with how Rook is treated. Where the Inquisitor was age ambiguous and could ultimately be played as pretty much any age you wanted, with only a handful of places where it could be argued to that the dialogue might come off as immersion breaking, Rook is treated like they're fresh out of college at oldest, constantly being called "kid" or having characters bring up their youth. Not only does it feel restrictive in terms of character building, I'm personally just legitimately sick of being forced to play 20 somethings for every single game. My characters age should be a choice, or ideally, not brought up at all. What is the point in letting me customize my character to look older or mature if you're just going to practically ruffle their hair and call them a silly scamp no matter what I do?

(And yes, before anyone brings it up, I'm painfully aware that DAO and DA2 are actually guilty of this as well. DAO being the even worse example, considering you can not only make your character look 87 while having an older brother look younger than you are or a cousin of similar age look like your grandchild, but every one of your family members, no matter your origin, is always white, even if you are not. So literally every DA game has handled that better than Origins.)

I feel like, in some ways, BioWare knows their player base too well, and that's both good and bad. I think they know their players will ultimately ignore things and rewrite/headcanon things for themselves, and I think that will often lead to them deciding something isn't worth investing in since the fans will just do the work themselves. And I don't want that to come off as vitriol towards the team or an undermining of the effort that went into this game. I know it was hell, and I know that time, budgeting and other things had an impact on what the team was able to do, but I feel like deciding to make Rook some young 20 year old that apparently is oblivious by default wasn't so much an accident caused by development problems so much as it was a choice. You should be able to play your Rook that way, certainly, but in an rpg about choice, shouldn't you be able to... Idk, roleplay and choose??

I'm just disappointed because I thought the Inquisitor was almost perfect, and Rook feels like a massive downgrade. In a game for which one of the core pillars was lauded as "be who you want to be," it's just a bit of a letdown that I'm less able to be who I want to be than in any DA game before, except for maybe DA2. And it's doubly upsetting, because in some areas, Veilguard is actually so good about roleplay. Getting to choose your characters identity, getting to decide whether Rook is a virgin or if they have experience, etc. Smaller things like that feel so personal, but they're so few compared to the parts that feel like my choices for who Rook is aren't meaningful.

I just don't think I should have to shake my head and go "nuh uh" every time my Rook speaks in order to build a character that I find enjoyable to play. And I say all of this as someone who genuinely enjoys this game. The game has its issues, but I truly do find it such an enjoyable experience. Except for Rook. My Rook in my mind is so different from how I can make them due to how limited the rp is, and that's never been the case for a Dragon Age game before.

That's it, that's the post. If you got to the end, I'm SO SORRY you had to read my whining. Have a random Emmrich for your trouble 🙏

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 23 thoughts:

So much happened in so few chapters, how do I even break this down?!?

First off, Colin had better stop fucking bonding with my daughter! And apologizing and making amends for past wrongs! I'm a huge fan of redemption arcs and second chances and that is being used against me! JUST LET ME HATE THIS MAN!!!!!!

My bug daughter is in prison but that's almost like, a minor side thing? It barely matters right now except that it gives some background structure. Compared to everything else the prison bit is just . . . a thing.

I'm in tears over bug horse. I'm bawling. I may never recover. RIP Atlas, you were the best of us.

TAYLOR GOES TO THERAPY!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED!!!!!!

I love Jessica so much! She does such a good job. I want to bake her cookies as thanks but I'm not sure if that would trigger some type of conflict of interest.

Fucking Glenn. I want to hate him and love him all at the same time.

Is he an artist? Absolutely! He has a vision and it is beautiful.

But also if it comes down to "letting the world end or compromising said vision" he might be the kind of person who would watch the world burn with a tear running down his cheek, because at least it was beautiful.

Look I get it. My daughter is terrifying. But that isn't because bugs are scary. It's cause my daughter is terrifying. Making her use butterflies just means a bunch of people are gonna start having butterfly phobias.

Like come on, Clockblocker gets to break fundamental forces of the universe and cause people to question their very existence!

Do not try to tell me that someone getting time frozen and just . . . skipping a chunk of time because their mind is not part of the time stream for a few minutes would not provoke some deep thoughts of existential dread! Sure not in everyone, but not everyone is scared of bugs either! I just think it's very unfair.

The Adepts are fun. Sure powers aren't "magic" but might as well have fun with the idea! Besides it seems to be working and if I had powers I'd absolutely love to lean into a magical focus idea.

I am quite upset about the fact that during the whole Thirteenth Hour thing Weaver didn't get to shove bugs down Clockblocker's throat to save him. It would have been so poetic. Saving the day by shoving bugs down throats was still super amazing, I just wanted it to be Clockblocker.

It was the most extreme level of active awareness and minor "control" while being disabled that we've seen from Taylor so far though! Really curious to get more into that, the nature of passengers/shards, and all those things. I have so many thoughts, but they're all just speculation right now (I don't think writing 75 pages of theories that all end up being wrong is really gonna be very helpful).

“If anyone asks, you kicked their asses with butterflies.” Clockblocker gets it!

It was really cool to get more into different vibes of the world with the Vegas section! I love me some thinkers and strangers.

I'm very glad The Number Man used a sniper rifle. I would have been a little disappointed if he didn't after getting into his head in his interlude - it is just the perfect weapon for him. Motherfucker over here just bouncing bullets.

Finally got to see more Bambina after the little bit in arc 8. Her power is wild, I love it! Also Bambina's mom just shot right into the top contenders for "worst parent in Worm". Like, WTF lady.

August Prince is wild. Sucks when the most effective use of your power is "human shield" though.

Considering she had an interaction with The Number Man and Contessa, Taylor actually came out of it pretty good! Sure they lost the target they were trying to bring in, but I don't know that they really had a chance of keeping Pretender. Contessa isn't easy to stop.

The only problem I have with the Las Vegas Wards actions is hiring Bambina to break Pretender free. Otherwise ya, fucking ditch the Protectorate. Given the information they have it makes sense.

TAYLOR HAS FAN MAIL!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Grue's letter was way to heartfelt. Tattletale clearly wrote most of it.

Like come on: "I could hit you, hug you, yell at you and hold onto you for hours all at the same time. It’s fitting that I want to kiss you and throttle you at the same time because that’s what you were to me for a long time. You drive me crazy and I can never understand what’s going through your head." This is totally Tattletale! She couldn't flirt with Taylor in her own letter, she had to be sneaky about it!

"You’re an idiot. I want you to know that. You’re an idiot, Skitter. You’re brilliant and reckless and I’m betting it makes sense to you to do this but you’re an idiot." - also Tattletale.

LOOK I'M GONNA MAKE THIS SHIT GAY AND THERE ISN'T ANYTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP ME!!!!!!!

Imp's letter might be my favorite.

Tattletale's actual letter ends with "See you there, hun?" Just. So fucking gay. Sorry I don't make the rules.

Speaking of gay, Rachel's letter!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wolfspider wolfspider wolfspider!

Like I mean come on

"Being around you wasn’t simple or quiet but things made more sense.  Your minion with dark hair said we need to be around people but I’m around people and still feel somethings missing." GAY

"Going to take puppies to your place again soon. Show the kids to them. Might help." SO GAY

"You have plan, okay. But if your plan means you’re thinking about fighting us you should know I am getting very good at hunting and skinning things." HOLY SHIT IT'S THE MOST LESBIAN THING EVER

"We both stay alive. Try hard." TOP-TIER GAY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

GGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

AND THE SCENE WITH THE CHILDREN!!! AND THE BUTTERFLIES! AND THE DICE!!!!!!!!!!!

dies of joy

Seriously, 23.4 is the most beautiful chapter in Worm so far and it'll be very hard for it to be outdone.

I could talk about just that chapter for pages. It was perfect in every way. Even if I knew it had to end with Behemoth pretty early on. There was too much hope in that chapter for it to end any other way.

But in the middle of all that downward "oh fuck it's Behemoth" stuff we got an Undersiders reunion! With so much gay!

Like - “But you guys mean a lot to me.  I’m sorry I didn’t say it before, but I couldn’t without letting on that something was going on.  You’re my family, in a way.  As lame as it might be, I love you guys.” My head turned from Grue to Rachel to Tattletale as I said it.

SO FUCKING GAY

She starts at Grue sure but ends with Rachel and Lisa when saying "I love you". Certified gay.

So gay that even Imp agrees! Though I've been doing the long drawn out “Gaaaaaaayyyyyyy” since like arc 2. So Imp is a bit behind the curve here.

TAYLOR WANTS TO GO ON A DOG PARK DATE WITH RACHEL! IT'S THE MOST LESBIAN DATE POSSIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

Weaver's new flight suit is pretty neat. Dragon is a pretty good big sister.

Cody Interlude thoughts:

THIS motherfucker! I was waiting for him to show up again.

I am so mad. I'm so fucking mad.

Cody is the worst. He's pathetic and dumb.

And Accord just has to go and get killed by him in the dumbest way! GOD DAMMIT ACCORD I SIMPED FOR YOU SO HARD!!! AND THEN YOU DIE TO CODY! OF ALL PEOPLE! YOU CAN'T BE COOL IF YOU DIE TO CODY!

Chevy too! I thought he was cool and all, but he had to die to Cody. God. The worst.

ALSO MY BABY GIRL HE TRIED TO HURT MY BABY! THE ONE WHO ISN'T MY DAUGHTER!

SOMEBODY HELP TATTLETALE!

I did like seeing more of the mechanics of the Yàngbǎn after getting hints about how they work in the Lung interlude.

The power sharing plus the power amplification is a pretty broken combo tbh. Feels like there is some pretty neat stuff that could be accomplished with that.

Fuck this man though. Simmy just had to whisper to him and just dove right in. Cody can't even conceptualize what fighting back means, that would require him to grow as a person in literally any way.

Sucks for the Behemoth fight though. I guess my daughters are going to have to save the day. Again.

[girlcrushart]

I was admittedly disappointed when Chappell decided not to endorse Kamala. And a lot of people are, and they're being vocal and honestly nasty about it. I do think it's of paramount importance that she win, because if the other guy gets in, then a lot of the things Chappell is passionate about (from drag to basic human rights for the LGBTQ+ community) are in serious jeopardy. And, as a Canadian, who can't vote in this election, but who's life will unquestionably be effected by who becomes the next President, I get upset when people don't take the right they've been given seriously. That's where the hate that Chappell has received is confusing and obnoxious, because even tho her motivations are really obvious to me, people really seem to have missed the boat on this one. Right away, people accused her of "both-siding" it, when she said that there are bad people on both sides. That's not both-siding it, you guys. That's when you say there are very fine people on both sides and one side is Nazis. That's not what she was saying. Honestly, there ARE bad people on both sides. People also accused her of doing it because she didn't want to lose fans, or upset her family or whatever... those people are also confused. You really think Chappell has a lot of red-hat-wearing fans? You really think she cares at all about that? She had to clarify today that she is not voting for Trump, and while she didn't say who she was voting for she def kinda implied that she's basically not happy with either choice for some real reasons. Chappell has made it very clear in the past that she is unhappy with her government's position and involvement on what's happening in Gaza and that they are complicit in aiding and supporting a genocide. That's what she means by bad people. Genocide is bad, you guys. She doesn't want to enthusiastically support and endorse people who, while they may fight for things that are important to her that she believes in, are also contributing to something she believes to be inexcusable. And I think she's brave for sticking to that. For me, personally, I'd prefer it if she endorsed Kamala and helped ensure she ends up in charge—that would be best for me. But Chappell has already made it very clear that she's not gonna just do things because other people expect her to because she's a celebrity and there are unwritten rules that need to be followed. She's challenging so many of those rules (and I applaud and love her for it), and in this case, for her personally, she didn't feel like she could officially endorse anyone and she has perfectly reasonable reasons for doing that. I'm sad, I wish she'd do otherwise, but my admiration for her has only increased because she's clearly a deep thinker who does not make decisions lightly and is sticking to her values and beliefs. Today's girlcrushart guardian is Chappell Roan.