#and I never learned anything useful???? then perish

[bekkathyst]

I have a bunch of different thoughts and memories I want to write out, but it may not be for you. I touch on some heavy topics in this post, so just giving a warning. This is more personal than anything.

I’ve been undertaking the project of organizing my jewelry-making crystal stash for the first time ever and it’s hitting me that I’ve collected tens of thousands of dollars of these gems over the last 12 or so years of owning my shop. It really gives me hope that I can rebuild my business up to the level it used to be. Or maybe even higher.

Up until we moved to Austria, hard years in my life were hard because of abuse, trauma, horrific things going on in my family or otherwise. Things I almost never spoke aloud. But last year was hard in a different way. It felt as if the cumulative damage of two decades of shouldering more than I could actually bear and taking care of way too many people finally caught up with me. It felt like the stress of moving continents pushed me over the edge.

I may have talked about it briefly, but sometime around late 2019 I started trying really hard to take good care of myself and I got into eating healthy and hiking. It helped me so much, and in 2021 I was in the best shape of my life and felt the best I’d ever felt. But after we moved here in 2022, something happened. That winter after, it was like my whole body fell apart at once and the health I had worked so hard to maintain just slipped away. I lost so much time to feeling so unwell I could barely make myself leave my house. I was constantly sick and miserable and it made my mental health slip, too.

I lost a lot of work. I couldn’t make myself focus and then of course this plus the plummeting economy caused a big hit in my business. This all came together to make 2024 the worst year my shop has had since it really started to take off in 2017 or so.

I started 2024 by falling down the stairs and giving myself a knee injury that took months to heal, and then later in the year I was hospitalized twice and diagnosed with a couple chronic conditions. I poured the rest of our savings into the shop to keep it afloat, and so I could allow myself to figure out my health and rest.

I’m so grateful I could heal, but now I’m facing all the consequences of those choices. I’m realizing if I don’t act fast and pull everything together, not only will I lose my business, but we’re going to have problems with immigration next month when Antonio goes to reapply for his residency permit. We have a month left to rebuild our savings and in order to do that, we have debt from last year to pay off. Right now we’re just barely staying afloat as it is.

But I keep envisioning the future. I can see a future where we catch up, flourish, and open a physical shop so we don’t have to rely on the ever changing algorithms that want to see small businesses perish. I can see a future where I can focus on my art and prosper. Where I continue to improve my health and refine my skills and learn and grow. And most importantly, a future in which we can give our daughter all she needs without a second thought. Maybe I’m delusional, but just 10 years ago I had similar delusional thoughts about moving back to Austria one day.

[jq37]

So, that lady FH episode was amazing and all, but...

Hoo boy, I already see the discourse around the Ratgrinders' fates forming and it is going to be painful. Be careful around the fandom space.

(I mean, resurrection is still on the table for them, but that's based on if the players feel like it and right now, we're looking at 50/50 odds at bests)

Yeah, don't worry about me. This isn't my first rodeo and also I post a lot about D20 and respond to asks I get but I don't actually personally engage with any of The Discourse (tm).

And I'm not really surprised at the reaction. I know people have been opinionated all season in two main camps (that have a lot of overlap): people dissatisfied with the narrative direction and people deeply sympathetic to the Rat Grinders to the point of being mad at the Bad Kids.

The first camp I mostly understand. I get wishing the cast would explore a certain storyline more. For example, I've been on the Aelwyn redemption arc train since literally the first episode of Fantasy High so I was a little disappointed that when that finally came to a head in Freshman Year, it was a big fight and then very little aftermath/unpacking because Aelwyn was sent to jail right after. And Sophomore Year hadn't been announced so I had no idea that she was gonna get another shot. But I wasn't upset or anything. Adaine at that point still hated her sister. She had no reason to want to reach out. And at the end of the day this is other people playing a game. Brennan presented them all the possible plot threads and they were most interested in self discovery, hanging out with each other, doing Shenanigans, and playing Tomb Raider re: Ankarna. Those are all options they were presented and it's not like they were doing crazy off-roading. It's well within the parameters of what D&D is. If you're gonna watch a show like this (or honestly any show), you have to accept that what's most interesting to you isn't always going to be the most interesting thing to the people in the driver's seat.

So yeah, I feel like this side of things I get (even though I'm fine with how things turned out).

The other camp--people being legit mad at the Bad Kids (and in some cases the actual cast) for treating the Rat Grinders like antagonists instead of victims that they were responsible for empathizing with and redeeming--I find kind of wild.

Like…you're mad at the kids who go to Child Murder School for killing kids who want to end the world and kill them specifically? Literally the first day of school the principal of the school says that adventurers are violent wanderers who engage in shenanigans and enact violence. This is the exact assignment they were given and that's what they're doing.

I think it's wild to at the same time believe that the Rat Grinders (who have killed people) are not responsible for their actions and deserve to be talked down while in the process of causing an apocalypse because they're just kids who were manipulated while at the same time calling the Bad Kids evil lunatics for trying to stop them by killing them (in a world where Revivify and Resurrection exist) even though they are ALSO kids who are doing what they've learned at Child Murder School. The Bad Kids have to be mature enough to thoroughly investigate the situation and have nuance about it but the Rat Grinders don't have any responsibility to not join a shady evil murder plan*? And do the Bad Kids really hate the Rat Grinders to the point where they're doing some overkill in this fight? Absolutely. But it's not like they're killing them because they hate them. They're killing them because they're trying to end the world--and they also happen to hate them. Are we forgetting that Kipperlilly killed Buddy--her own teammate--with a gleeful smile on her face? That was so out of pocket.

They're adventurers! Not guidance counselors! If Jawbone was like, "We need to kill these kids," yeah that would be weird but why would the Bad Kids extend an olive branch to the kids who (1) famously hate them, (2) killed at least one maybe 2 of their own party members, (3) endangered the entire student body population an hour ago, (4) are currently trying to end the world. Hell, Adaine was ready to be mean to her own sister in elf jail literally up until the point Brennan described how rough she looked from the torture and that's when she changed her mind. The Power of Love and Empathy is on the menu but it's a special item you only can get if you know the chef. Everyone else is getting a serving of These Hands. Just because you can find a vegan solution to a problem it doesn't mean you're obligated to.

This all comes down to, "Maybe teenagers shouldn't have godlike powers and the ability to play judge, jury, and executioner" but that's literally the premise of the entire show so you can't get around it without rejecting the show's entire premise. If they were like, "Hmm the systems that underpin our world are questionable and we should change the power structures" instead of, "Let's kill some bad guys!" then that's a totally different thing we're doing here!

And, idk man, this show has always had a Who Framed Roger Rabbit style morality where the normal rules of ethics stop applying when it's funny. They beat the crud out of Ragh and then lied to him that he shit his pants just for the bit. A pirate was rude/kinda racist to Riz so they scared him into killing himself. Riz ate the remains of the sentient (albiet evil) dragon he killed. That's all unhinged behavior but none of that is meant to be serious. Getting upset about Fig sending Ruben to hell to me feels like getting mad that Jerry hit Tom with a cartoonishly large mallet.

None of this is new so I have to assume that people are having a big reaction because they relate to the Rat Grinders or just really like them so it feels bad that the Bad Kids are treating them like fodder rather than beloved NPCs.

But again, this is a world where you can bring people back from the dead and the Rat Grinders have showed intent that is grievously neglectful at best and insanely murderous at worst so I can't muster a lot of sympathy for the fact that the Bad Kids are just taking them down without remorse. I don't think you have to try to empathize with the people who are trying to harm you if you don't want to especially while they are in the process of harming you.

(*And we still don't know how voluntarily they joined this plan. We don't know if they were killed and basically forced into resurrecting with rage or if they just leapt at the chance to join a plan that would let them get one over on their rivals. It literally could be either. We've had kid villains on this show strong armed into being party to evil plans by threat of harm (Aelwyn) as well was kid villains who just had their own selfish motivations and weren't tricked at all (Penelope and Biz). We actually don't have any clear answer on how culpable they are. We don't know if they all have rage crystals (except for Buddy). And we don't know how much having a Rage Crystal effects your actions. The best indicator we got is in this latest ep when Brennan said that there was a mechanic where Porter was going to call anyone with a rage crystal to fight for him but that says to me that he's only directly puppeting them when he uses that action and otherwise they have free will and are just angrier. The Bad Kids don't have a reason to believe definitively that the Rat Grinders are just unwilling puppets even if that is the case so of course they're treating them like enemies. Anyway, this is a whole lot of "I don't knows" but that's only because I've seen a lot of people talking like the Rat Grinders literally aren't in control of their actions but that's not info that we have. It could be true but we don't actually know that so it's not a good argument.)

[fuckingrecipes]

Utilizing Ingredients You Have On-Hand: 

When choosing what to cook next, prioritize perishables. The stuff that’s going to go bad quickly. Berries are at the top of the list, followed by Meats, Fleshy Fruit & Vegetables (tomatoes, mango, peppers) and Milk, and then Eggs & Hard Vegetables (potatoes, squash, radish, etc.)

If it's in the fridge, it's on a timer. If it's in the freezer, you've got a lot more time.

But FR! What if I don’t know any recipes that use what I have? 

Go hunting, you beautiful bastard~  https://www.supercook.com

Supercook allows you to list off all the ingredients you have on-hand, and it will find recipes which use ONLY those ingredients.

If you make an account, it should save your ‘Pantry’ list, so you can come back to it again later. 

There’s a bunch of ‘Use what I have to make recipes!’ guides on the internet, but I love how granular ‘Supercook’ gets, and how it doesn’t ask you to pay to use its database. 

You can enter a ‘Key Ingredient’ to focus on using up something (Like if you’ve got too much celery and need to use a lot, quickly) - AND you can select what type of dish you want to make (Main dish, side dish, dessert, etc.) so you can quickly filter out the billion cookie or sweetbread recipes. 

It also tells you WHAT you’re missing, so you can tell at a glance if it’s something you actually don’t have, or if it’s something you just forgot to add to the list. 

--

Write Down the recipes you love so you can always find it - even if the site ever goes down or that recipe gets removed. 

If I’ve learned anything from watching the Internet evolve, it’s that you can NEVER trust a website to continue hosting your shit into eternity. They always die eventually. Save your important shit as a physical object that you can hold in your hand.

- If you have a LOT of perishable vegetables that are reaching the limit of their lifespan, that’s when you make soup or stir-fry.

IN CONCLUSION:

Prioritize Perishables

Use Supercook to find recipes to use up stuff that might go bad soon, or ingredients you have a lot of.

Write down the recipes you like to save them foreverrrr

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

Wait, I was reading your posts and came across something I've found confusing. How is Adrien asking Ladybug wth she is doing in Volpina a bad thing? From Adrien's perspective, Ladybug's a celebrity tracking down a middle schooler with zero clout and humiliating her for lying about meeting her before. That's, uh yeah? Imagine if that happened irl lmao. Millions of teenage girls would perish at 1D's hands. My middle school would be a horror story. And it's made clear multiple times in the episode that her motivation is jealousy. It's one of the few episodes where the lesson Marinette gets makes sense I think, because she was genuinely spiteful in shitting on this random girl in front of her crush. That's significantly different than Ladybug just asking for a retraction from the Ladyblog. It's also one of the few times when Adrien's celebrity background actually affects how he acts, and it makes sense that Marinette doesn't make the connection between superhero=celebrity=not allowed to scream at middleschoolers in public. If half the kids in her school didn't lie about meeting Ladybug before, my suspension of disbelief is gone.

I've seen this argument before and it makes no sense to me, especially in the context of the lie that Lila actually told and the way the Lila confrontation actually goes down. A lot of people who have this take seem to think that Lila's lie was, "Ladybug saved me," and that Ladybug made a big public confrontation which is not what canon actually gave us. The confrontation was done in a mostly private setting and, while we never see Lila's full Ladyblog interview, this is how Ladybug sums up the interview in Volpina:

Ladybug:(sarcastically) Well hey Lila! How's it going? Long time no see. I saw your interview on the Ladyblog, awesome job. Oh sure! I remember our instant connection when I saved your life and we've been really good friends ever since! Practically BFF's! Uh actually, when did I save your life again, Lila? I don't recall. Oh yes! Of course, now I remember. Never! And we're not friends either! Miss Show-Off here was trying to impress you and everyone around her.

Lila didn't just lie about meeting Ladybug, she lied about having an ongoing, close relationship with Ladybug, two very different things. And Ladybug isn't just a celebrity, she's a superhero who is fighting an active terrorist. If I had to rewrite this confrontation, I'd keep it pretty much the same and just change the "Miss Show-Off" line to something like:

Miss Show-Off here was trying to impress you and everyone around her, putting herself and all of you at major risk! You know that Hawkmoth would do anything to get these, right? (gestures at her earrings) Did you even stop to think about what he'd do if he learned the identity of my supposed best friend? Of course not. You were too busy trying to look cool to stop and think things through like an actual superhero! We keep our identities and relationships secret for a reason!

Is this the kindest, most gentle way to confront someone like Lila? No, but it's very in character for Marinette to be filled with righteous fury when she sees someone using her name for their own personal gain. I really can't blame her for getting incredibly angry at this total stranger presenting herself as a Ladybug authority and using that authority to manipulate Marinette's friends. As I've said before, take away the crush complication and Marinette's actions still make total sense to me.

I'm not a huge proponent of virtue ethics. That's the idea that you need proper motivation for an act to be morally justified. If you do the right thing for the wrong reason, then the act is bad no matter how good the results and vice versa. If you view the world that way, then sure, you could possibly argue that Marinette's actions were wrong just like you can also argue that Gabriel's actions were totally fine, but I don't view the world that way. Switch Marinette's motivation from jealousy and a little righteous fury to pure righteous fury and almost nothing changes. She'd still need to confront Lila, the words would just be a little different.

It's not like this confrontation stops Lila, either. Chameleon gives us this:

Lila: (in flashback) Not only did Ladybug save my life, we've become very close friends. Marinette: She lies with every breath. Nino: Wait. You eavesdropped on Lila and Adrien? That's not cool. Alya: A good reporter always verifies her sources. Can you prove she doesn't actually know Ladybug?

Quick mini rant before I give the next Chameleon quote: this isn't how verifying your sources works, Alya! You should be verifying that Lila does know Ladybug, not the other way around! Right now, Marinette and Lila have equal authority on the topic as far as you know and there is no evidence to support either claim, so you should be looking for proof that Lila isn't lying! Proof isn't a first come, first serve problem even though a lot of people fall into that trap. This is especially true since Lila goes on to make claims like this:

Lila: Of course Ladybug saved my life. She never misses an opportunity to rescue her best friends. Max: Didn't your tinnitus give you vertigo when you went up the Eiffel Tower? Lila: Oh no. Ladybug knows me so well that she brought me an earplug to stick in my right ear.

So Lila keeps right on lying about her relationship with Ladybug, presenting them as close friends, making it even harder for me to get on the "Marinette was in the wrong for privately confronting Lila" train. If anything, Marinette was too tame! She needed to go full scorched earth and have Alya post a public retraction that included a message about the dangers of claiming to be personal friends with someone you don't actually know.

If the show went that route and had Ladybug give an equally furious smack-down and Alya posted it without a second thought, THEN I'd probably be on team "Marinette needed to tone herself down because she went too far" because that isn't a heat-of-the-moment reaction. It's something Marinette would have time to think through. But Volpina didn't go there. Instead, we just get Marinette reacting live to someone using her name to flirt with her crush. Remember, this is the setup to Marinette transforming and jumping in to stop Lila:

Lila: Not only did Ladybug save my life, we've become very close friends because we have something very special in common- it's what I wanted to tell you about. I'm the descendant of a vixen superheroine myself, Volpina. Adrien: Volpina? Marinette: Volpina? Adrien: Wait a minute! I think I read about her in my book. Lila:(stopping him from grabbing the book) Of course she's in your book. She's one of the most important superheroes. More powerful and more celebrated than Ladybug. Between you and me Ladybug doesn't even make the top ten. My grandma gave me this necklace. [Marinette runs off to transform] Adrien: (holding Lila's necklace) Are you telling me this is a Miraculous?! (Ladybug lands in front of them)

This wasn't a planned confrontation. It was Marinette reacting live to some pretty massive lies. If Ladybug had been swinging by and just overhead this, then the scene once again wouldn't change much. That's why blaming Marinette for confronting Lila in the "wrong way" feels so victim blame-y to me. "How dare Ladybug not be perfectly poised at all times and react with grace when someone lies about being her close friend and teammate!" is not a take I'm ever going to agree with. And if you want to use the middle schooler defense? Then it applies to Marinette, too. She and Lila are the same age. Why the different standards just because Marinette has fame that she never asked for or sought out?

I've never been much of a fan of holding celebrities to an "always on" standard where their every interaction needs to be done with poise and grace even if the interaction happens out in the wild and not at a planned even where the celebrity can be mentally prepared for dealing with fans. That's extra true for accidental celebrities like Ladybug. Marinette didn't take up the earrings for fame and they certainly haven't brought her fortune, plus she has no PR training. Expecting her to be a PR master who knows how to handle her accidental fame is, once again, a little too victim blame-y for my tastes. Ladybug is here to save the world, not sign autographs. You can hold her to politician standards when you start paying her for risking her life on the daily.

There's a version of Lila where I would have a different take. A version where the lie really is minor and Marinette really did "overreact", but even there my lesson wouldn't be "Marinette was totally in the wrong" because I genuinely think that sends the wrong message to kids and kids are the show's target audience. Think about what you're actually saying here, "Because Marinette is famous, she needs to accept that people will lie about her and just ignore them even if people believe the lie."

While that isn't exactly a wrong take, it's still really messed up. It's not okay for people to use Marinette's name like that just because she's famous. The reason she needs to learn to let it go is because that's what's best for her mental health, not because her fame makes her lesser than others when it comes to things like personal privacy. The lies are not magically okay just because she's well known.

Remember, Marinette is a fictional character, but the kids watching this show are very real and they're way more likely to be Lilas than Marinettes. And the kids that do relate to Marinette in this episode? They'll be kids who have dealt with the rumor mill spreading lies about them or their friends without the celebrity complication. The show should not be telling either set of kids that Marinette is the one in the wrong here. That is the wrong moral and why I hate this episode so much. I might feel differently if the intended audience was teens and if this plot was allowed to be more complex, but none of that is true. The show is aimed at kids ages 5 to 12 and every episode is supposed to teach its own moral with Volpina's moral being "Marinette was explicitly and totally in the wrong here."

This is the age of internet personalities where there are more easily-accessible celebrities than ever and where many of them do not have the wealth needed to protect themselves from fans nor the PR training to know how to handle extreme fans if there even is PR training for that! That means that it's honestly really important for kids to learn to view these individuals as people who it's wrong to lie about and who deserve the same respect as non-famous people. Treating celebrities as public commodities is how we get things like the Kit Connor scandal where an 18-year-old actor felt forced to publicly come out because the internet wouldn't shut up about his sexuality. Oh, and since you brought up one direction, I'll also note that the band members have publicly stated that online shipping discourse has negatively impacted their relationships. So, yeah, I'm never going to agree that kids should be told that it's okay to lie about celebrities or treat them as fictional characters to play with and that the celebrities are the ones who are wrong if they get upset about that behavior. That shit is toxic.

If we go the "minor" lie route, then my version of this episode would be a very sad one where Marinette learns that people are going to ignore her boundaries and lie about her and there's nothing she can do about it. A lesson in mental health training that will hopefully help kids who are dealing with bullies, but that does not present Marinette as totally in the wrong. It just teaches her when to pick a fight and when to let it go, which is a very important skill to learn even outside of lies about your own person. There will be many times when you hear people say something that you vehemently disagree with and it's important to learn when to pick a fight and when to just let it go, knowing that no good will come from speaking up even if you're 100% in the right. It's a very sad, but also very necessary skill.

I think Adrien has a place in that story. A place where he still tells Ladybug to let it go, but it should NOT have been played the way it was in canon where he acted like Ladybug was totally out of line. He needed to be way more compassionate and understanding of her very justified anger. I've written Adrien giving advice on this topic before and it's always presented as, "people are going to be assholes and you have to learn to ignore them for your own well being," not as, "you are wrong to be upset about strangers telling lies about you. You agreed to deal with this when you decided to be a hero" because what kind of asinine lesson is that?

You could also keep Adrien's canon reaction and have the lesson be him learning that it's okay to have boundaries. That his fame doesn't negate his bodily autonomy and right to be treated with dignity. That people chasing him down, invading his personal space, and otherwise preventing him from living a normal life is wrong. I love it when fanfics take this approach to Adrien's part in the Lila conflict. It's very cathartic to see his friends supporting him and protecting him from Lila.

I really have tried to see Volpina from the "Marinette was totally in the wrong" perspective because I've come across it several times, but I just can't wrap my head around it. If you've got a counter argument, then feel free to try to change my mind because I've given you my full thoughts here, but know that I'm probably not budging on this one. You'd have to make some pretty dramatic changes to canon for me to feel like this take has a point. I think the only way that I'd be on Lila's side is if it was very clear that no one believed Lila and Marinette still had the same reaction that we see in canon as that does feel like going too far. But everyone believed Lila so that's not a solid argument and I'm just never going to agree that people have to be cool with others lying about them just because they're famous. I honestly despise celebrity culture so much and hate that people are basically forced to deal with that bullshit if they want to be successful in certain artistic fields.

[cherryinsalemverse]

Jason Todd/Reader FIC RECS

If it is in red then it is smut. I selected a few but if you like it check the writers blog please!

Just Friends by @makethatelevenrings “How on earth are we going to convince your family, the greatest detectives in the world, that we’re a couple?”

Dickpic!Jason x Reader (on going series) by @dxckgrxsonx He still has the habit of stashing food. Back in the manor he remembers hoarding non perishables, and remembers slipping food into his little pockets when no one was looking. He was young and still waiting for the other shoe to drop, still waiting for the moment that Bruce changed his mind, convinced that his time in that home was limited. (I've been wating for 2 years to read more of this and lemme tell you I'd wait a thousand more. When I'm old and have dementia, struggling to remember my children and grandchildren I WILL remember this fic; quote it if needed and yap about it in god-knows-which-language. Even if you don't like smut just check it for your own good! It is not like modern smut (porn w/o plot)! There is depth, there is longing, there is slowburn (it burns so good tho) THIS IS ART I TELL YOU! When future generations study literature they'll study this and wanna be us whom been so lucky to be born just in the right time to read it!! Omfg I fucking love it pls do yourselves a favor and just read it!

You're in love with me, ew by @lightwing-s "You're in love with me” you blurted out in awe “And you have a crush on me, ew!"

Let's Fuck Up The Friendship by @igotanidea What kind of fool falls for his best friend?

If You Want Me, You Have Me by @deadrobinthoughts “no.” he took a slow step forward, shaking his head, a mix of disbelief and frustration in his expression. “no, we’re not brushing past that. you think i want someone else?”

Nice And Slow by @sobbingscripter No reason." Jason hums quietly. "I just saw a bloodstain that reminded me of you, so I ended patrol a little earlier."

Blink And You'll Miss It by @reds-hoodies -you waited your whole life to meet your soulmate and damn if you’re just going to let him slip through your fingers.

Who Needs Heaven? by @mostly-imagines “...This hasn’t happened…” You frown at that, tilting your head. “What do you mean?” He breathes out heavy, “I think I’m dreaming.” 

I Have A Door, Y'know by @vacate-et-scire “No, but I nearly missed swinging my lamp at your head.” You crossed your arms, glaring. “I have a door.”

Outgoing Call by @dickgraysonisnothereforthis “Yeah. Yeah, read it to me. Actually, wait. How long is it? How many lines?” There’s silence as the perp counts. “Four.” “Four?!” you shriek. “Four?! That dumb motherfucker ended a four month relationship in four lines of text?”

Late Night Talks by @jjenthusee (you can also find it on AO3) “Don’t remind me, I was delirious from blood loss.” Jason winced at the memory. “Not my best moment.”

Worried by @weneeya He left you alone in your apartment before he left for his night patrol. So why weren’t you here anymore? Where were you?

Idiot Boyfriend by @randomasfuk “You wanna leave me? Fine, I guess, but can you at least tell me why you left? What did I do? You can’t possibly think I didn’t care because I—” You paused, the words catching in your throat. “You know what? Forget it.”

Firends Who Kiss! by @ebodebo "I think...just a small kiss won't hurt. Right?" 

Anything&Everything (in literal sense) by @heavysighing-dreamyeyes I'm curently blocked so I can't quote anything but you should have to check it out! They are my fav blog rn.

@ghostybat as far as I know she doesn't do fanfiction but hell do I love her blog?! They post amazing art and fun to talk to!

@hecate-hollow I just can't not mention them! They are funny also has great ideas/opinions!!

If you came this far hear me out for a sec! I go in and out of fandoms randomly so I never been an active member in any of them. Maybe you are like me and hadn't had the chance to learn that we should support by commenting and reposting. Liking posts sometimes is not enough so please reblog as much as you can when you want to support your writter!!

(If wanted to get off tags let me know!)

[oct0bra1ns]

can you do a platonic yandere teacher? like maybe the teacher kidnaps the darling (his fav student) because he has always wanted a child and you just seem like the perfect child to have! and he kinda gets pissed off if you mention your old family. Reader can be High school or Middle school age i don’t care which.

teehee, i hope you don't mind but i combined it with another another ask which was similar, i went to keep both aspects of the ask so there'll be two yandere characters, they can be a couple or just two people who live together, whatever you want. once again, no names :P

Reblogs and comments are appreciated

Yandere Teacher and Yandere headmaster who used to argue all the time despite the fact that they live under one roof. Yandere teacher hates what the headmaster deems as necessary for the students and teachers while the headmaster hates how the teacher never listens to anything he says.

All the staff hate whenever a meeting is called, not because their day was disrupted, no, but because they have to sit and listen to these two arguing over the most stupid things.

They couldn't seem to agree on anything until they met you. Yandere teacher had always kept an eye on you, the one student in his class who used to submit everything on time, complete every assignment to perfection nd rather well behaved.

He usually hates having to explain himself over and over again but if you ask him to repeat something, he will, even if he has already gone though the topic like 100 times.

If by chance you don't do well on a test, he'll give you another assignment to make up for it, or be less harsh with his grading on that certain paper.

He'll let you disturb his free time if you have any doubts or topic you don't understand.

You've always been his favorite student, so well behaved, never causing a scene in class and doing everything he assigned you to the best of your abilities.

With all this in mind, there was no surprise when you decided to run for the President of the student council, with your track record, you were bound to be selected by the teachers*.

That was until he found out one student from a more well off family was planning to run as your rival and for once he went to the headmaster to ask for help.

The headmaster has always kept an eye on you, someone who managed to impress the Teacher who was known for being nitpicky with everything his students did. Of course, that wasn't the only reason, always participating in events, getting awards, representing the school in inter school events, all made him quite interested in what you could achieve within your school years.

Naturally the moment the Teacher came in, asking for you to be selected as the next president he agreed without hesitation,bringing down the reputation of a spoiled child in the eyes of the teachers was no problem for him.

It didn't take long for both of them to agree it would be better if you were staying with them, after all, being the child of the headmaster of one of the most prominent schools was nothing to scoff, that too along with a teacher who had years of experience and a well known reputation in the eyes of various boards.

Of course, being the student council president meant that you had lots of duties to attend to, ones which included you staying late in the school while most of the staff and teachers left, as such, it was quite easy for them to bring you the unfortunate news that your family perished in an accident, when in reality, they made sure to use their influence to make sure they'd never be found.

Under the disguise of being concerned for you, they'd offer to let you stay in their houses. They'd use the first week to make you forget your old family under the guise of giving yourself closure and giving you time to yourself.

They wouldn't rush anything, in time they'd start acting as if you had no other family except them, both of them would step in the role of your parents.

They'd do anything to keep you happy, learning all your likes/ dislikes, cooking whatever dish you wanted, helping you with whatever and buying you everything you ask for.

The headmaster is not someone who cares if you mention your old family, they don't matter because they're gone and as long as he has you with him, he doesn't care while the Teacher on the other hand, tends to get irritated if you mention your old family, he'll bear it to a point before he snaps and goes on a long lecture of all he's doing for you and how clinging onto the past is not good for you.

At that point the headmaster steps in and drags him aside to have a few words with him and he'll come back and apologise to you over his behaviour. The next time he goes on such a rant, one look from the headmaster and He'll stop talking.

Being the headmaster's child comes with a lot of perks, teachers giving you much more respect, students also making sure they don't upset you. If even after all that a teacher or student manages to do something that makes you upset, the headmaster deals with them personally.

*In schools over here, the student council is always decided by the teachers after a few rounds of interviews and 'tests'

[haggishlyhagging]

[Note: Dworkin’s analysis of Wuthering Heights is astonishing. Below is her first paragraph. I suggest reading the novel as well as Dworkin’s analysis in its entirety.]

"Stronger than a man, simpler than a child, her nature stood alone," wrote Charlotte Brontë of her deceased sister, Emily. Wuthering Heights, her one novel, published under a male pseudonym before her death at thirty, also stands alone. There is nothing like it—no novel of such astonishing originality and power and passion written by anyone, let alone by a nineteenth-century woman who was essentially a recluse. Nothing can explain it: a worldly, obsessed novel of cruelty and love that surpasses, for instance, the best of D. H. Lawrence in both sensuality and range; an act of passion as well as a work of intellectually rigorous art; a romantic, emotionally haunting, physically graphic rendering of sadism as well as an analytical dissection of it; a lyric and at the same time tragic celebration of both love and violence. "It is moorish, and wild, and knotty as a root of heath," wrote Charlotte, who admitted to being somewhat repelled by the book. "Nor was it natural that it should be otherwise; the author being herself a native and nursling of the moors." So was Charlotte, but she wrote Jane Eyre, a novel of civilized pain and outspoken dignity. Both women had a deep understanding of male dominance, which does suggest that, for women, the family is Blake's famous grain of sand. Emily did take the family as a paradigm for society, especially for the creation of sadism in men. She showed how sadism is created in men through physical and psychological abuse and humiliation by other men; and she wrote about femininity as a betrayal of honor and human wholeness. She was indifferent to sex-roles per se, the surface behaviors of men and women. Instead, she exposed the underbelly of dominance: where power and powerlessness intersect; how social hierarchies emphasize difference, fetishizing it, and repudiate sameness; how men learn hate as an ethic; how women learn to vanquish personal integrity. She anticipated contemporary sexual politics by more than a century; and, frankly, I don't think there is a contemporary novelist, man or woman, who has dared to know and say so much. There is nothing to explain her prescience or her prophecy or, for that matter, her radical political acumen; except to say that Emily Brontë seemed to share with her monster creation, Heathcliff, a will that would neither bend nor break. He used his will to create pain for those he hated. She used hers, no less ruthlessly one suspects, to live in a self-determined solitude, to write, and, finally, to die. Shortly after her brother, Branwell, dissolute and self-obsessed, suddenly died, Emily got consumption, and wasted away with what seemed a premeditated fierceness and determination. On the day of her death, she got up and dressed and groomed herself and sat on a sofa and sewed. She said a doctor could be called and soon she died. Branwell had died in September 1848; Emily died in December. "She sank rapidly," wrote Charlotte. "She made haste to leave us. Yet, while physically she perished, mentally she grew stronger than we had yet known her. . . . I have seen nothing like it; but, indeed, I have never seen her parallel in anything."

-Andrea Dworkin, Letters From a War Zone

[pali-and-proud]

Finale Thoughts

This is a very special thank you to all the Fast Passers. Y'all did amazing, truly, because I actively read anything and everything without any attempt to shield my eyes from spoilers and I still knew nothing. This post is dedicated to you guys.

Alright guys. You know the drill. Get the hot coco and strap in.

Lets start with Deacon:

Deacon acknowledging that Chase is more likely to interact well with Buddy is actually so good to see. It's so nice to see Deacon prioritize Prunella's safety and to be more comfortable with being put in "lesser" positions, like babysitting! (Think back to sick! Chase, and look at how far Deacon's grown)

Deacon and Prunella's talk: Prunella calling out Deacon for always talking about being great instead of just being great. That's so good, genuinely--Prunella shrugging and being self-confident and Deacon finally really hearing it. He needs to just be what he wants.

Deacon's relationship with horses symbolizing his frustrations with his inability to control his life was NOT something I expected and I openly applauded. That's brilliant.

Don't be mistaken: Deacon sacrificed himself. He knew the risks of making the horse play bridge. He watched the horse fall victim to the spread of the pages. The horse was still neighing when it's legs started to turn--Deacon could have yelled, but he didn't, because he was too focused trying to make sure that Chase and Prunella, at least, could escape.

The speech Buddy gave him, which I will reference so many times, about there being a time to be the hero and a time to be the helper, is SO applicable. Deacon "is happy to help." He isn't trying to be the hero, and he isn't trying for glory, and he just wants his cousin and his friend-ish to be safe. And it's specifically when he's not trying to be the hero that he ends up being the hero, by taking control of the reigns and getting Prunella to Chase and risking his life. He follows Bronze and Prunella's advice, and listens to the speech, and listens to himself: He stops asking for permission. He steps up. He becomes the hero.

Cannot wait to see Deacon's reaction when Chase undoubtedly tells him how they escaped. I can't decide if Chase is immediately going to say "Buddy and I kissed" or if he's going to say "I figured out an escape and stop asking questions" but no matter what, Deacon's going to be squinting at his cousin and groaning.

ALSO can't wait to see how this arc impacts his relationship with his parents. Like I'm so excited. A Deacon that's more confident being able to step forward and say "No, I don't want to devote my life to something I'll actively hate. That's ridiculous." might be the end of me ngl, I love him.

Prunella!

Prunella my love

Prunella my LOVE

She has this confidence that we only see falter twice: when she struggles with the other kids, and right now. And in both situations, she didn't know what to do, and she was in over her head, and she reminded us that she's just a KID

Her arc has been the exact opposite of Deacon's, and it's so cool to watch them both experience opposite lessons in the same arc. Deacon learning how to step forward and lead while Prunella learns how to step back and follow.

Prunella hearing, constantly, about how dangerous the books are and finally SEEING the books as dangerous. Prunella finally understanding why Deacon was so strict about the books she could travel in, because most of their worst-case scenarios came true in a single swoop.

Prunella also has not met Buddy yet. She saw him, described him as the mean guy, and then perished. Truly an icon.

I am so convinced that Prunella and Buddy would be friends. Even if it starts rocky, I think they both enjoy humbling the Hollow boys too much to not grow to like the other's presence. I can't believe I have to wait for season 2 to get confirmation of this but I am going to be so smug when I am correct

Chase:

CHASE

CHASE EVERETT HOLLOW i have never in my life ever loved a character like I love Chase. I talk so much about Buddy but that is me being a wing-woman, Chase my love Chase, I love him so much

Fun fact I didn't even like Buddy until the first Cinderella story. I was so convinced I wouldn't like him, but I resigned myself to cheering for Stargoth anyway (I was part of the Canvas/Discover Squad, i had a LOT of hiss hiss Buddy) solely because if Buddy made Chase happy then sure I'll accept it, and now i adore Buddy, Punko is just that good

Every single moment of Chase in this arc stole my attention. every single panel. God I could do a dive longer and deeper than my Buddy analysis but exclusively on Chase during the finale arc. i could do it exclusively on Chase during the finale. I could do it on any singular panel.

Chase being guilty about lying to Buddy alone was heart-wrenching, but Chase literally only got more and more heartbreaking. Him constantly trying to help everyone--the keys, for example, with a resort for them to enjoy--only for things to go wrong--the resort, for example, drowning the book. He just wants to HELP

Buddy was 100% correct in calling out Chase for pinning the blame on Deacon, but what he didn't realize is Chase wasn't trying to do that. Chase truly felt terrible, and he truly wanted to apologize, and him bringing up Deacon was him being honest and factual because he did argue with Deacon about it, but he did end up listening to Deacon. And Buddy gets more frustrated because Chase is misunderstanding the problem--it isn't Chase hiding Prunella, it's Chase refusing to trust Buddy

And when you think about it. Chase absolutely has no reason to. Chase doesn't even know his name WHICH I WILL TALK ABOUT LATER bc kdjfherigh but! In Chase's eyes, yeah why would he. He's literally desperate to have Buddy prove that hes legit and good and kind and Buddy keeps shoving that away (Buddy saving Deacon's life and then pointedly not mentioning that, for example).

It's also the fact that Chase is trying so hard to stay optimistic despite such extreme levels of guilt. It's the fact that he stays clutching to that persona of optimism even after seeing paper! Deacon and Prunella, and it's only when he's staring at a bleeding Buddy that the full situation sinks in

Chase finally breaking. Oh my God you dont know how long I was waiting to see Chase splinter apart. This is a kid trying to do the impossible, and every single time something goes wrong, he feels like it's his fault. The book got destroyed? Buddy got betrayed? Admitting that he doesn't trust Buddy? Getting way less narratonin than Deacon or Prunella? He blames himself for all of it, first and foremost, and it's finally on full display

Chase even trying to send Buddy away? Pushing and pushing because he is so desperate to save someone, anyone, even though that's literally a death sentence for him. And he doesn't hesitate, either--it's practically instinct, even though Chase would never agree to leave if the roles had been reversed.

And like...augh Buddy hugging Chase, and Chase hugging him back? That was painful enough, but you add in Chase admitting that he doesn't want Buddy to leave?

This is not the post for me to point at Chase and accuse him of abandonment issues, but know that I am pointing at Chase and I am accusing him of abandonment issues. I am looking at him feeling hurt that Deacon left him in the Toffee arc, I am looking at him constantly repeating that he's not going anywhere, I am looking at him running to apologize to Buddy after spending so much time bitter about Buddy avoiding him, I am looking at his avoidance of talking about his mom in situations where "My mom is dying and this is important to me" would be really helpful, and I am thinking accusations

But anyway

Chase and his abandonment issues: literally all he wants is for someone to stay, safely and securely. His mom, Deacon, Silver, Buddy, even his dance partner. He's always at risk of losing someone, and he's about to lose everything, and all he can do is admit that he just wants Buddy to stay, because he's scared

Chase you are my sun you are my stars you are my whole solar system I will give you the world

Also, I absolutely knew the repeated comments about Chase being an idiot would get to him. Chase is SMART, guys. He's perceptive. He knows when he messes up, and he tries to look past the mistake and into how to rectify it, but that doesn't mean he isn't aware that he did something wrong. And people (Buddy) kept snapping that he was stupid, or an idiot, or ridiculous, bc Chase would make a mistake (or stick by a decision), and he would NOTICE that people thought it was ridiculous. He just didn't care, because he was either sticking with it, or trying to fix it.

And he DOES. He notices the words in the sky, realizes the solution, figures out the entire thread behind the stories (they want to be enjoyable and they want to have a good ending), and explains it all to Buddy. Chase figured it out, because he's so much smarter than everyone assumes.

Anyway Buddy hugging Chase and telling him he can stay a while longer (this is a scene burned into my heart) (more on that later) and telling him he's not stupid and that he's trying his best is SO important. This might be the first time in the entire story that someone finally sees Chase. Someone finally prioritizing Chase and putting Chase's wellbeing first and telling Chase yeah sure maybe you messed up but you're doing the impossible every single day and you're TRYING.

And for it to be Buddy? Like ignore the romance entirely--if someone who always insults you and is notoriously difficult to please tells you "No, you're not stupid. You're trying your best" while hugging you? thats the most sincere thing in the world. that's tears immediately.

Chase suggesting kissing is also askdjns because (again, ignore the romance part of it)--he always skips the kissing scenes. We know thats because he wanted to save his first kiss, and he's the one who offered. Yeah, okay, sure, it was life or death, but Chase didn't hesitate, and didn't weigh his options, and didn't even consider saying "a kiss on the forehead would probably suffice." guy went straight for "i need the mouth to mouth"

the grin. The bright eyes. the pressing fingers to his lips. He's so happy, so genuinely happy.

I truly, truly, TRULY cannot wait to see what this means for our idiots. I can't wait for someone to try to have a conversation and for someone else to not want a conversation, or for them to be so awkward with each other, or for Deacon to want to skin them both, or for WHATEVER turn this takes. And im SO happy for Chase.

Buddy:

I wrote this whole thing and it just deleted. i am furious

NOX

NOX I LOVE THAT NAME NOX NOX NOX

Punko i cant believe you were worried we wouldnt like it. nox nox nox nox nox i love that

okay first: the two theories for key Nox, as they are rn, are 1) that Nox has always been the villain key, or 2) that Nox was tricked/manipulated/experimented into becoming the villain key.

1) If he'd always been the villain key, it makes sense why he never told Chase his name. Chase would have immediately told Silver and company, who would have had to stare at Chase and ask them if he had a crush on their brother

1) if he'd always been the villain key, his distrust of Chase could be explained by him distrusting all humans. This would follow course with him also being frustrated by Deacon, which yes was partly because of jealousy but also partly because Deacon was a new key holder.

1) ALSO of course he was a nightmare about Chase with the key--he had no reason to believe Chase would treat the keys well. it's also possible that he knew Silver had a crack, and thats why he helped Chase in the first cinderella book--so that Chase could meet Silver.

2) if he BECAME the villain key, it makes sense why he never asked Chase details about his key. Why he never asked about Silver or Bronze, or if they were okay, or how they were settling, despite routinely trying to get details about other factors of Chase's life. He assumes Chase is selfish, true, but he doesn't ever accuse Chase of being cruel with them.

2) if he BECAME the villain key, the line of "Don't you want to be human again" holds a lot of power. Yes, it's possible that the keys were once people and Nox wants to go back to that, but its been CENTURIES.

2) if he was always the villain key, the line of "Don't you want to be human again" would be applicable to all the keys, bc it would assume they were all human once (obligatory Keys are People Too mention, it's an amazing ao3 fic by incomple shoo go read it). Silver, Bronze, AND Goldie never mentioned that, and Punko likely would have foreshadowed it earlier.

2) if he BECAME the villain key, it makes sense why he wasn't included in the dream Silver had! Where she dreamt about her family!

2) if he BECAME the villain key, his constant reference of Silver as "the key" or as "it" also makes sense. Earlier, like episode three or so, he mentions needing to get Silver back before the old man returns. It's Silver specifically, without mentioning trying to track down anyone else.

2) if he BECAME the villain key, his name being objectively different from the other keys makes sense. Silver, Bronze, and Goldie were all named after the metal they were made from! Violet is purple! Yes, Nox means night, and yes, Nox has a moon on his back, but if Goldie isn't called Sunny, then I would argue Nox's name should count as way more subtle than everyone else's.

anyway theres a lot of points on either aspect

I could do into the character growth of Buddy, but I'm actually going to focus on the hug. Not the kiss, even though it's nice to see the fixation on Chase's hair stays strong, but Buddy immediately recognizing a hug is needed and immediately giving him one.

Buddy love language is touch, or something

Chase says "I think we need to kiss" and there's not a single arguement from Nox's lips. He literally stares at the sky, turns slowly, and goes "Not a problem"

actually the whole "I've never been the hero. Not even in my own story" goes so strong when you remember the speech he gave Deacon about needing to act as the hero, the helper, and whatever other role when need be. Nox was given the chance to be the hero, and he took it. "I'd like to be your hero" isn't just a romantic one-liner to preface a kiss--it's Nox genuinely saying that he wants the happy ending that Chase always skips. And Chase, this time, doesn't skip it.

Nox, returning back to his space with Violet, immediately says he doesn't think he can keep doing this. But he wants to be a human, more than ever, which implies that "keep doing this" isn't just travelling into the stories, but doing something additional. Something that, we can infer, is hurting Chase.

i am wrapping this up its snowing outside and i cant feel my fingers, how do you snow people do this

if you read all of this! grab a treat <3 hope you enjoyed and love you all

[carlsangel]

dad’s rifle (g.i.t.w, ch.3)

carl grimes x fem!reader

warning: death.

masterlist here!

other chapters here!

You always felt like you had an unfair disadvantage in life. You were on vacation when the world died, just with your dad and sister. He was in the military and barely had much time with you but he finally was able to take you somewhere for a week. There was a layover somewhere in Georgia when everything started to get progressively worse. You knew nothing about the area so when the apocalypse struck, you and your family were lost.

It was rough at first, your dad was oddly aggressive and your sister was cold. She never spoke to you, but she pushed you around when you needed to be. She probably saved your life multiple times without you even knowing.

Anyway the first couple months were rough but you were eventually able to be somewhat comfortable with it all. You missed your extended family like hell but you still had your dad and your sister. You were okay.

Until you weren’t.

At some point you guys were in a smaller group. Just a bunch of survivors doing their best to keep living. You would separate at night however, build campfires per family even though that sounded quite dumb. the flames were small so you weren’t visible. Your dad had surprised you with marshmallows that night. “Here take this one.” You were sad you didn’t make your marshmallow like his, he was always so good at it. Your sister was still not talking but she was enjoying herself as well. She ended up giving you her bracelet that night too. Just in case anything happened.

It wasn’t until the morning you woke up to the sounds of the dead along with your dad yelling. He grabbed you and your sister and bolted off into one direction, leaving the rest of the group to fend for themselves.

The dead still followed you to your new destination, an old cabin. In said cabin there was an old chair that looked quite large that your dad used to secure the door shut so you had time to escape. He lead you both into the far back room of the cabin and opened a window, a window that only opened half way.

Enough for you and your sister to get through. Meanwhile, the dead bursted through the door.

It was a quick goodbye.

You and your sister made it out alive. You were on your own for a little while after that. When it came down to it, your sister felt like she had to do whatever it took to protect you. She was often aggressive or rude when telling you what to do, only because she knew you’d listen to her. At the time she seemed so mean, but now that she was gone you could understand everything she taught you.

It wasn’t easy losing her either.

It happened maybe two months after your dad. You thought that if you were ever in a situation like the one when you lost your dad again, you’d do everything in your power to stop it. You constantly feel like you could’ve done anything to help, or maybe you should’ve stayed with him. Then you wouldn’t be in so much pain.

You and your sister ran into a horde of walkers. She knew that you’d never be able to run from it, not without a distraction. She looked around frantically for a solution. All she saw as a viable option was herself. She stops you and puts the bag on you. “You take the bag, you take dad’s rifle and you run. Run as far away as you can. Okay? I love you.” She tells you pressing a kiss to your forehead and pushing you in the opposite direction. She pulls her knife out of her belt and prepares, meanwhile you try to protest. “I don’t wanna leave you here, I-” She’d cut you off to tell you to just go.

So you run. You run as fast as you could all while sobbing your eyes out. You’ve been on your own ever since.

You learned to live alone, you took all the tips you and your sister had learnt together as well as some of your dad’s military experience and you ran with it. You did great by yourself, that fact never went unnoticed. You found a group or two you somewhat got along with and they would quite literally perish soon after meeting them. It was tragic, yes but you never got attached so it never quite got to you. After that you chose to isolate yourself, just so you didn’t have to deal with the pain. In reality it seems cold, but that’s just how you were able to say steady.

You wanted to stay alive, you knew that the only way your dad and sister’s memory would live on is if you were to stay alive and honor them. You hoped that one day you could tell stories about them to your children. That is if you made it to have any.

Anyway you dodged a fair amount of sketchy groups. You considered yourself as someone who got the good and bad ends of the apocalypse stick. You could sense when something wasn’t right and that saved you a lot of the time. For the shit end of it, well you lost your family. But that’s all in the past.

─── ⋆⋅ ꒰ა 𐚁 ໒꒱ ⋅⋆ ───

Now you were dealing with some sassy cowboy. He stole your rifle and ghosted you. Ironic for someone nicknamed the ghost in the woods, you were the one who was meant to disappear. Granted you could tell that Alexandria was having a rough time. Once the horde cleared to a louder section of the community you were able to get closer to get a good look at what was going on inside the walls. You could see the absolute grotesque amount of walkers, almost looking like an entire sea flood the front gates. Some spilled to the side and lingered there, so you steered clear.

A part of you felt somewhat anxious, you thought you’d be witnessing the fall of Alexandria. Maybe Carl would die, but you didn’t want to worry about that. At least you tried. You weren’t quite successful. Noticeably, Alexandria was going through a rough patch. They had tons of their people die, not to mention they drew plenty of attention with the blaring truck horn which you realized had hit at the opposite wall you were at. You lingered at the back wall rather than the busier side. Little did you know, you’d have a visitor.

You pulled your knife after hearing a branch snap behind you.

It was Carl.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You keep your voice low so you don’t draw the walkers. “I’m here to get you.” He explains, he’s slightly out of breath. “Get me? It’s too dangerous for you to be outside the walls.” You tell him. Unfortunately he’s as stubborn as they come. “Which is why I’m here to get you. Cmon, we don’t have much time.” He tries to get you to move but you don’t budge. “You need to leave.”

Carl’s been so concerned for you the past couple days he hadn’t been coming out to see you. He’d been meaning to but everything seemed to be going downhill. Just the day before, the Wolves broke into Alexandria and he had to be there for Judith. He was scrambling to find any way for you to come back with him.

“Look, I get it, I didn’t bring back your rifle and…I know I pushed you a little too much to join Alexandria the other day. But this is serious. It’s life or death, okay? Just do the right thing. Come back to Alexandria. Just till the hordes cleared up and—maybe you’ll like it there and choose to stay. You don’t have to just please hear me out.” He pleads.

He’s so convincing, but you’re just as stubborn as he is.

“I told you I have no interest. I’m fine out here it’s not my first time around a horde. You should go.” You frustrated Carl to no end and he really didn’t want to annoy you or betray your trust, but he had no option. You could see him build up the strength.

“You either come back to Alexandria with me or you’re never getting your rifle back.”

The words that came out of his mouth were quite unlike him, he never wanted to be as bitchy as he was.

He just needed you to listen.

a/n: i want you all to know that when building this story, the sisters death made me so sad that i decided that canonically the sisters not dead she made it out and she’s looking for the reader trust

tag list: @zomb-1-egutzz @lunarnightt @ilikestrawberriesandwomen @hiro--aoki @h00d-tr4sh @callsignwidow @lilyglasergrimes @smollbean42905 @deadgirlwalkingx @txrasbae @lalaloopsie12309 @crusadecherryblossom @violetashfall @zombiigrll @amanita-raine @prettylittlevampire12 @shadowybasementmiracle @junkyard-juno27 @th3-3d3n-g4rd3n @sophiaatwdluver

[yanderes-galore]

50.) "If it means both of us must perish, so be it!" With a yandere Kaido who threatens his forced wife reader , that if his time has come he’s dragging her along with him , please if this request makes you uncomfortable you can delete this no worries;)

Sure! I'm sorry if this is short or not entirely accurate... I haven't actually seen his arc yet but I really like his character!

Yandere! Kaido Prompt 50

"If it means both of us must perish, so be it!"

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Possessive behavior, Suicidal behavior (Kaido), Murder, Blood, Kidnapping, You want him dead, Heavy drinking, Forced marriage/relationship.

In the time you've known Kaido... you've learned his nature well. You know him and his title... a force to be reckoned with. He's the world's strongest creature, and Emperor of The Sea...

He's a powerful being driven by war... it defines him... the power is like a drug to him...

Yet such a beast feels oddly... leashed to you, a mere human.

You knew Kaido as your captor. To you, that's all he ever was. No matter how many times Kaido would call himself your husband... He was really just your captor.

You were forced to play his wife, living in Onigashima in Wano Country. You don't typically be affectionate to the beast who calls himself your husband. Yet you also know not to fight him when he requests attention from his wife.

You learned of his habits through watching him. It's the only thing that you felt you could bring yourself to do other than seeing Kaido slaughter those around him. You didn't like to think about that.

Kaido adores war and fights, he often spoke about honor on the battlefield to you. As his wife, you quietly listened as he rambled, no doubt drunk on some alcoholic substance. You knew he loved his alcohol just as much as he adored fighting... and you, apparently.

Another thing you noted was Kaido's... wish for death. That was another thing he rambled about endlessly to you. He spoke fondly of war, violence, and the glory that comes from dying in battle.

These conversations were normal between you and Kaido. He's a warmongering emperor who does anything for battle. Him talking about dying was... oddly common and normal when it came to him specifically.

As his wife you also knew of Kaido's attempts on his own life. Due to being a nearly indestructible beast, said attempts never succeed. However, part of you always seems to hope they will.

Mostly so you can be let out of this hell.

Kaido's obsession with death never really concerned you at this point. He's been like this since your capture years ago. You used to be part of a crew...

Now you're meant to be a beast's plaything, it seems.

You've grown used to your prayers not being answered when Kaido comes back to you. Sometimes you just wish someone strong enough will do the deed already. That way you both get what you want...

Kaido gets his glory and you get your freedom.

Until then, you're forced to sit on him while he drowns himself in his alcohol. You can only listen to his talks about idolizing death and dream of it. Not for you...

Just him.

Although, as time went on, his ramblings changed... and it scared you.

Kaido starts rambling about you. At first it's all strange compliments and pet names. He calls you his pretty little wife... his little mouse and toy. He talks about loving and keeping you forever, laughing as he holds you while you stay silent.

Then he brings up dying again... This time together.

He fantasizes about it despite your sudden tense expression. He gleefully rambles about glory, but this time with you by his side. He tells you that you're his, that he can't leave you all alone...

He tells you that if... when you two die together...

It will complete you both.

You were used to him keeping his death fantasy to himself. But now he seemed too... connected with you to let you go. He tells you that you two will only ever truly be perfect when you die together.

He brings it up more and more and it only makes you more concerned. After all... this is a sudden switch. You really don't have an escape now... do you?

You often think of Kaido's words now... His dark fantasies and delusional ramblings...

You only ever seem to think of them more often once he calls war on those Straw Hat pirates.

"It will be a glorious fight!" Kaido calls to you in your home, an excited grin on his face. You've rarely seen him grin.

"I haven't had a strong opponent in a long time, my love..." Kaido growls, eyes staring down at your smaller form. "I want you there for it."

You freeze when Kaido picks you up like a doll, his grin haunting.

"I want you to witness our greatness! I want you to be there encouraging me! You are my wife, mine forever... You will witness glory, my dearest..."

You then feel Kaido squeeze you a bit, making you feel nauseous as you realize what all of this means...

"I plan to experience glory, my love... I need to feel complete with you." Kaido admits, a large finger running down your back.

There's a momentary silence as Kaido stares down at you, seemingly contemplating something. You can't seem to find the air to breathe when he looks down at you. This is it... isn't it?

"If it means both of us must perish, so be it!" Kaido suddenly roars in laughter, holding you against his chest as he begins to leave your home.

You're shaking but Kaido only seems to find it amusing. He keeps you close, making his way to his newest battlefield. This felt like your Judgement Day...

Today, you die.

"Do not be so fearful..." Kaido suddenly scoffs, eyes looking down at you.

"You should be looking forward to this, wife... Today, we experience greatness! We experience glory and completion..."

Kaido then pulls you up to his face, a sinister grin on his face.

"I want you by my side when I die..." Kaido tightens his grip, glaring as he notices your nervous behavior. "You won't run, you will obey your husband. Today... You and I will be complete..."

You then feel him apply pressure to your midsection, a warning and order that forces you into desperate compliance.

Kaido makes one more roaring laughter as he continues to carry you...

"Today... We die together... Now and forever, you are mine and mine alone."

[kurigohan0909]

Rewatching Link Click: Easter eggs in your noodle soup?

So I've just finished watching both seasons of Link Click/Shíguāng Dàilǐ-rén, which means that obviously I'm watching it all over again. What did you expect me to do, sit around waiting for Bridon arc while the Bilibili official account taunts us with replays??

Besides, Link Click is one of those dishes that is best served twice. The early episodes are packed with hints and foreshadowing that only become clear once you've gotten up to date, so I've made it my mission to catch 'em all.

You don't say.

It's well known that certain early mini-arcs (for instance Chen Xiao's basketball match, and Doudou's kidnapping) have implications for the larger plotline or at least contain important exposition/character insights that the story would not feel complete without. There are also several that get written off as filler, or are generally considered to not have any purpose beyond familiarising the audience with the characters and setup, and lulling you into a false sense of comfort before everything goes to shit. Episode 2: Secret Recipe, AKA the Noodle Lesbians episode, beloved as it is, tends to fall into the second category.

Or does it?

On a rewatch, I still don't think it does anything to advance the main plot. We don't even really know where it fits into the timeline, because we're never told what day it is and Lu Guang's watch is never shown on screen (I'll get around to a longer analysis of this another day). However, I'm instead inclined to believe that it's one of the most important episodes in the show - if not THE most important - because it's essentially an allegory for the story of Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang, and gives you a bird's eye view of how the relationship between them is going to develop - which, as you know, is what the show is all about. And the fact that it's not situated in a specific time, in a show that cares heavily about timeline construction, makes it better.

The episode starts with this quote from German photographer August Sander, who believed that, through photography, he could reveal the characteristic traits of people. "The portrait is your mirror. It's you." It's pretty explicit, when you think about it. This episode is a mirror of the entire series, specifically of its protagonists.

Moving on. The episode's storyline is quite simple: two college "roommates" start a noodle shop together, and as time passes, they drift apart and eventually fall out as their priorities change. Yu Xia, the business-oriented one between them, wants to get hold of the secret ingredient used by Lin Zhen, to whose cooking the shop attributes its success. Does Yu Xia really want to steal the secret recipe? Or is it just one of the many things that the quieter Lin Zhen keeps hidden from her that she desperately wants to know, along with everything that went wrong between them? Your guess is as good as mine. Either way, there are lots of indirect parallels between Xialin of the noodle shop and Shiguang of the photo studio, even if for now they're very distinct individuals with their own personalities and struggles. It does, however, give some indication of what's to come.

This question isn't purely rhetorical, as we find out in the very next arc, where Cheng Xiaoshi has a fight with Lu Guang over letting his client's loved ones perish in the Wenchuan earthquake. Even if they eventually come to a consensus, they have fundamentally different life philosophies and approach their missions in very different ways. Cheng Xiaoshi is a hyperempathetic idealist who keeps trying to use his forays back into the past to fix his clients' personal problems, while Lu Guang remains utterly indifferent and staunchly against interfering, even in life-or-death situations. Which turns out to be a facade, because we later learn that he's just as much of a meddler as Cheng Xiaoshi - except he's focused on a singular, selfish goal, which is to keep Cheng Xiaoshi alive at any cost.

Let's go back to the noodle shop. After ten years of running the business together, it becomes clear that the ladies' aspirations are no longer compatible. Yu Xia has big plans for the shop. She wants to broaden their customer base - for profit, of course, but also so that more people can be made happy by the chance to taste their noodles. Lin Zhen's dreams, however, are on a smaller scale - perhaps only on a personal scale. Throughout the episode, it seems that she only really cares about making noodles for one person.

Sound familiar?

At the risk of digressing, it needs to be said that Yu Xia and Lin Zhen are absolutely very much a WLW couple. This isn't bait, it's elegant and really quite unsubtle queercoding that says 'to hell with censorship' loud and clear. Honeymoon jokes, the taxi driver assuming Lin Zhen had fought with her husband, and Lin Zhen's very bold attempts at flirting... we see you.

More to the point of this post, I think it's important to point out that Lin Zhen does not actually care for too many people other than Yu Xia. She's all worn out from making noodles for customers, but she forgets all about that when it's time to make a bowl for Yu Xia. She also keeps her special ingredient - which is one of the secrets she shares with Yu Xia, as we find out - highly guarded. She's never going to let these pesky reporters in on something so intimate.

Why is this important? Because, as it turns out, the episode's storyline - and Lin Zhen's motives - are all about saving Yu Xia.

We learn that the secret ingredient is a local specialty from Yu Xia's hometown. Lin Zhen has been using it for years, keeping the taste of home alive while Yu Xia's drifted further and further from home to the point where she can no longer remember where the ingredient came from. At the end of it all, when Yu Xia returns home, she finds Lin Zhen there waiting for her. Lin Zhen, mind you, does not hail from the same town. The girls met in college. It's home to her simply because it's Yu Xia's home.

This comes directly after a pilot episode that establishes the contrast between urban isolation and rural/familial warmth, through Emma's eyes, and in a show that continually reinforces the concept of longing for home and loved ones. By forcing Yu Xia to reevaluate her priorities, Lin Zhen manages to bring her back home - which is a place that includes herself.

Perhaps it's too early to say. But to me, it's a pretty neat thematic parallel of Lu Guang's solo quest to save Cheng Xiaoshi from death; which is intertwined with a greater goal of giving Cheng Xiaoshi a home, one that is safe and secure and surrounds him with those that love him and are there to stay.

But in the process of achieving this, one of his biggest obstacles is Cheng Xiaoshi himself - his insistence on interfering with the timeline so that Lu Guang can't predict events with certainty, his objections to the way Lu Guang does things, and the definite resistance Lu Guang will come up against if Cheng Xiaoshi learns about his plan. Pretty much every minor mission they undertake is a rehash of the same argument; Cheng Xiaoshi wants to use their combined powers to make a difference to other people's lives, and Lu Guang just has one goal in mind which means that he's going to ignore absolutely everyone else.

Notice how Yu Xia's looking to the future, while Lin Zhen's dream is to go back to a point in the past? Neat.

And when they finally part ways because it's clear Yu Xia is not going to support Lin Zhen's goal? Yu Xia asks her where she's going to go after they part ways, and Lin Zhen says:

I wonder where we've heard that before.

And if you need any more proof that this episode is in fact intended to be a mirror, do consider:

Their seating positions are mirrored too. Yeeeeaaaaaahhhh.

In conclusion: if this allegory is to be believed, then trust that Lu Guang will eventually succeed in his mission and Cheng Xiaoshi will find his way home to him. It'll happen, guys. In the meantime, at least our beloved noodle ladies will be living a peaceful life out in the countryside.

Since I don't know how to shut up and this website seems to be giving me infinite space to yap, let me include some more details about this episode that I found cool. There are so many.

Lin Zhen and Lu Guang are both shown while this line is being said. What with all that the fragrant flowers represent, it makes you think about what these characters' best memories might be and how much they treasure them.

This is such a tiny detail that you'd almost definitely miss it on the first watch, and it seems insignificant - until it isn't. When Cheng Xiaoshi hops into the girls' picture taken during their college days, he screws up and suggests they'd be better off dabbling in tech stuff like apps or intelligent management than running a noodle shop. Lu Guang makes him quickly eat his words, but they seem to have still struck a chord with Yu Xia - because later we see that she works over years to integrate an intelligent supply chain management system into their business. In fact, one of the reasons for Lin Zhen to alienate herself from the business is because she feels like it's gotten too techy and lost its human touch. Not really fair considering it was her own idea, is it?

I mean. This is probably a stretch. Digitization is pretty inevitable for big businesses nowadays, so Yu Xia, being as enterprising as she is, might have gone for it whether Lin Zhen suggested it or not. But it's interesting to think that it might be Cheng Xiaoshi's tiny alteration of the past that unfurled outwards like a hurricane from the beating of a butterfly's wing and catalysed their falling out. Especially because these kinds of bootstrap phenomena very much occur in later episodes and are a core feature of Link Click's time travel model.

Some suspicious behaviour on Lu Guang's part. He's quite certain there are no useful clues in the last picture Yu Xia and Lin Zhen took in front of their shop, despite it being the only one taken by Lin Zhen (seriously! you could go to her house, look through her phone, the possibilities are endless!) and the fact that this is the photo Cheng Xiaoshi did end up solving the mystery in, thanks to the ticket stubs he found in her purse (see?) Secondly, they outright miss a picture in the envelope - the most important picture of all which would have given them the answer right away, since this was when the fragrant flowers were first used. Not your best work, Lu Guang.

...or is it? Lu Guang is pretty meticulous, and it's unlike him to slip up in such obvious ways. He's also skilled at slipping things back into envelopes when he doesn't want them to be seen, as we know. Could it be that he didn't want Cheng Xiaoshi to solve the mystery? But why? Maybe it's metaphorical, like so much else of this episode: he doesn't want Cheng Xiaoshi to uncover his true intentions. The fact that all this is ultimately for his sake.

Interestingly, Lu Guang was very dejected at the idea of them seemingly being out of luck - they'd tried so many times and failed to fulfill the mission. Was he, perhaps, thinking about another mission he'd hate to fail? Anyway, it falls to Cheng Xiaoshi to cheer him up and give him hope for another try, which he accepts, with a small but genuine smile. My heart.

If you've scrolled this far, I'm glad you enjoyed my ramblings! I must say I don't know much about how Tumblr works so apologies if I mess up on formatting or tags, but I'll probably get the hang of it soon enough. I'll also probably end up enjoying Tumblr more than Twitter since it allows me unfettered yap space and won't feed my writing to the machine (yet). It's late and I should probably stop stop thinking bout it around now... but look forward to more random ramblings and thank you for reading!

[perakstaz-7]

LESS THAN A NAME

Theory: in the end of arc 9 Heinkel will reach his goal and lose his name after

————————————————————————

Reinhard stared at the painting depicting his family. Apparently, it was commissioned from a master with the Divine Protection of Painting, which is why the artist only needed only an evening to create it. Reinhard himself possessed this Divine Protection, and he could see its characteristic traces in the brushstrokes... Ah, his thoughts were wandering again.

He reached out, and his fingers — scarred from the battle with Aldebaran — froze a millimeter from the canvas.

"Oh, you're here again."

It was the voice of his Mother, placing a hand on his shoulder. Her energy usually overflowed, but now Louanna Astrea was a lot quieter than usual. After all, she had barely learned of the death of her mother-in-law and was now experiencing grief she hid behind smiles.

...Though, that wasn't the only reason why she wasn't as energetic as she should be.

"You know, every time I pass this hallway, I come to look. I always feel like I'll finally see something new... or old? It's super silly, but you do the same, right?"

"I cannot deny the obvious, Mother." Reinhard said in a soft voice and sighed, turning his eyes back to the painting.

Mother and son stared at the same spot — a void that shouldn't be there. Absurd, because right there — next to Theresia and Louanna holding a child — there definitely should have been someone. But instead of a person, the composition had an unnatural hole that couldn't be filled.

Reinhard didn't know his Father, and his Mother didn't know her husband. He didn't leave the family or die before his son was born, no, he was torn from the memory of the world, leaving nothing behind.

Was he a great warrior or did he refuse to fight? What did he love? What did he hate? How did he act? What his believes were? What did he teach his son?

There was an empty space on the wall in his room. Was it a lost gift from his Father?..

Reinhard recalled his childhood, trying to pluck from his memories a face he should have known, but he couldn't remember anything. As always. Here and there, it seemed like he almost managed to grasp something, but it was a false hope.

Why did he changed Captain Marcos' mind?

His Father should have had red hair and blue eyes, but there were no other details. Not even a name existed. It had always been like this, and he should have gotten used to it long ago, but why did his chest still felt so heavy?

———————

Wilhelm was an old warrior, and countless times he had been wounded. All these wounds had long been healed or had closed up on their own, but three of them still reminded about themselves with a dull ache and heavy bitterness. Two perfectly straight scars were from his wife. But there was one whose origin he didn't know. The edges of the scar were slightly ragged, as if the blade had trembled when it pierced his flesh. Was it a wounded enemy who had crept up on him from behind?

Perhaps Theresia would have known the answer. But she had long been gone to tell him. Just as the boy he never knew but had the right to call his son was not around. Where and when did he perish? By whose hand? Did he fight the White Whale alongside his Mother, only to lose? Did he take up the fight against Gluttony in Pristella, only to have his body never be found? Or maybe he simply died quietly somewhere in the Kingdom, never realizing what had brought about his end?

Was he really dead? No one could give an answer.

Who named that child? And what name did he bear? Was he a good swordsman? Did he love flowers?

Who held sword Astrea all this time?

[shaisuki]

ADDICTION

|| the second entry for the series “𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐖𝐄 𝐃𝐎 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄”

content warnings ─── bonten! sanzu, murder, talks about torture, noncon, implied kidnapping, drugs , dark themes, yandere themes

ᝰ synopsis.ᐟ when colored pills doesn't give him the high he needed, sanzu finds a new addiction, it's better than ecstasies.

the gunshot seem to frighten you. i apologize for that. in line of my "business" it is my job to keep the empire mikey had built to flourish. these traitors are not the worth of the name bonten and those who are without use should perish.

it's also to serve a warning to you. never run away from me.

i have no intention of harming you, let alone scare you. it's only a reminder that you can never escape from me, even you run to the ends of the world, i will follow you.

shed the blood of those who dares to look at you. serve their head in a platter. cut every finger who dares to lay their hands on you. rip their limbs apart one by one and not even death could escape their fate from my hands.

why are you crying? you don't like that? silly girl. it's a punishment for them who can't understand that you belong to me. what? can you repeat that? you don't want me nor anything of this?

you got no choice. you've bewitched me. got me high of my feelings that i didn't know i was capable of doing so. you've made me addicted to the sensation of your skin in mine. your voice like bells in my ears. no drugs could make me feel like the way you do.

you're the most potent drug that i could take. intoxicating me with your light that flows in my veins and gives me euphoria reaching in my brain. you're the medicine in my pain.

sometimes you're also the cause of the aches in my body. you never really learn do you? what got you shaking? the body drops as i pull the trigger on his head. blood pooling at those empty head of this incompetent fool to never let you out of sight when i'm dealing with mikey.

this is a warning. don't test me. although, i vowed myself to never harm you—you need to be taught a lesson. nobody messes with me, no one.

ssh. don't cry. this is all your fault. you're going to take whatever i give to you. fuck! i might lose control of myself whenever those tiny whimpers leave your mouth as i pressed my lips to your heated skin. be a good girl. all i want for you is to submit to me.

tears won't work on me darling, i've seen plenty of it. from the men who for me to spare their useless lives with a gun in my hand. it would be no different to you. you're mine to begin with. i own you.

a blissful sigh escaping from my lips as i inhale your scent. such beautiful hair you have. such bounty you have for yourself and it's mine to exploit.

the straps of your nightgown falling down to your round shoulders the more my lips move to feel of your skin. this would be your life with me as i clothe you with the most luxurious clothes i can provide for you. money ain't a problem for me. i have lots of them.

your body trembles as i touch you. i won't harm you, i told you. think of this as a lesson while you think of escaping me again. there's no escape in my grasps. as much i hate to force you, this is your punishment for making me angry. if you weren't my precious little things—i would have killed you.

we won't like that don't we? stay still. it would be easy for me to take you or else it would hurt. never been a problem for me to put down people like you.

that's it. you weren't that stubborn when i'm putting you in your place. that's right. the sight of you sinking in the sheets with your hands gripping the sheet while you brace yourself for me to take you. your plump ass raised to serve me.

eyes rolling as i sink to your warm pussy. engulfing me in such warmth that got me hooked, wishing forever to be inside you and now we are as one. connected to fulfill our desires and to feed my addiction.

i hope you learned your lesson with this one or else i'll be doing it until it get through your thick skin. i won't get tired of it nor will i ever stop.

this is what addiction to you feels like. a neverending rush of euphoria.

[duliadoo]

Och-Kan: Through You, I Redeem Myself

Och-Kan was born to serve. His entire existence came to be so that he'd slay Xiuhcoatl and take the throne of the kingdom. A man conditioned to base his value off his usefulness; a man failing to carry out his duty, captured, humiliated.

A man who has never made choices for himself - instead, he obeyed the others.

It's no secret that Och-Kan resented himself. Part-dragon, the lowest of the low, and part-human, dragons' antithesis. It's blasphemous to be the result of such a blend. He struggles with extreme feelings of self-hatred, going as far as to cover his face with a mask. He feels guilt, shame and a need for punishment.

The first time Xbalanque meets Och-Kan, he liberates him. And Och-Kan, instead of taking advantage of his newfound freedom, enslaves himself right back.

He makes Xbalanque his new master.

Since then, he has concealed his true visage beneath a mask, hiding the golden patterns that mark it, and resolved to offer up everything to the master who holds his vow.

Through servitude, through being solely an instrument to enforce Xbalanque's will, Och-Kan atones.

If he completely throws away his agency, if he puts his complete trust in Xbalanque's morality and reforges himself into a tool, he is spared from making choices or taking accountability.

No mighty being of such a kind and gentle nature has ever existed save for that person, one who would never commit appalling evils. I myself am no exception, and that is why we must outlaw all…

Xbalanque is Och-Kan's one and only God.

…And for that reason, he alone is the one that all should follow… No one but him deserves to be called a "god"…

Och-Kan is Xbalanque's most devoted servant.

...That way, I shall not put his name to shame...

And then Xbalanque is gone, and Och-Kan is free. Which, as we have learned, is never a state he voluntarily seeks out.

Without anyone to make the choices for him and steer him, Och-Kan is left unguided. Xbalanque isn't there to instruct him anymore. The power is, for the first time since he was born, in his hands.

Xbalanque: I entrust you with the nation we built Och-Kan: Tbh Creature GIF

Emotionally, Och-Kan is about as developed as a child. This was Xbalanque giving an army to a twelve-year-old.

As he descends into madness, he loses his hold on Xbalanque's ideals until they are warped scraps of sentences which only once made sense. But if he completely loses sight of Xbalanque, he has nothing. So he finds him somewhere else.

That way, even should my "human" parts perish, my "draconic" components will remain imprisoned here, a slave eternal beneath "human" boots, ever submitting to their will and ideals, ever heeding the souls of those who that person once saved.

We cannot trust any power mightier than humanity, nor place our hope in their beneficence.

"Xbalanque" is not just a person. He's humanity itself.

Flesh and blood may slough away, bone and marrow may rot, and even the soul may plummet into a prison from which there is no return, but "hope" alone must never be forsaken... for this was the sole treasure that person left for me.

Kukulkan: Is all you have done born out of some deluded "hope"? Och-Kan: Yes. So long as there's life, there's hope.

He's "hope."

Is Xbalanque anything more than a mere concept, at this point? Stripped from his humanity by Och-Kan, faultless, exalted like a god - never a human with flaws, not even in the beginning. To Och-Kan, Xbalanque was never a person.

He thinks he loved him, but he didn't. What he loved was the sense of atonement submitting to Xbalanque brought him. With Xbalanque gone, he found it in groveling at humanity's feet.

That way, even should my "human" parts perish, my "draconic" components will remain imprisoned here, a slave eternal beneath "human" boots, ever submitting to their will and ideals, ever heeding the souls of those who that person once saved.

In the end, it really makes you wonder if he genuinely regrets what he's done.

There are sins I must atone for.

Is that acceptance, or relief?

[disappearingmuse]

Magilou and Rokurou: a character study and an underrated parallel

So. Magilou and Rokurou. Two characters lacking in the emotion department who covertly struggle with their self-esteem because of this lacking and because of their pasts. Who both tell us in their own ways that they don’t care, and they don’t care that they don’t. However, as we learn throughout the game, there is a lot more nuance to the way they experience the world than they would have us believe. Their internal experience is left somewhat up to interpretation, and what we do know about their mindsets isn’t spoon-fed to us. The player has to pick up context clues and slowly piece them together to see the whole picture, which I think is pretty dang cool. Today I’m getting out the corkboard and the red string.    

What is the deal with Magilou’s broken heart?

When Magilou refers to herself as having a “broken heart,” aka her feelings disappearing, it’s both symbolic and literal.

The literal: During her one-on-one fight with Melchior on Hexen Isle, she says that she has rebuilt her heart about 107 or 108 times. However, she was Melchior’s “failed experiment” whose heart never broke completely- which I interpret to mean that some of her capacity for emotion is still intact. The apathy she feels is very real, but it’s not the total eclipse of the heart (sorry, guys, I couldn’t resist) that she wants everyone to believe it is.

The symbolic: Magilou’s past is the quintessential tragedy epic. She was abandoned by her parents, then taken in by a circus troupe who made a freak show spectacle out of her, then the troupe perished in an accident set up by Melchior, then she was taken in by Melchior, then he abandoned her. She was stuck in a cycle: the people who were supposed to be her caretakers, guardians, and mentors all mistreated and left her.

Until Bienfu brought her to Grimoirh, who broke the cycle and saw her for who she was.

As Grimoirh says to Magilou, “It wasn’t failing to hold up against Melchior’s arte that broke your spirit, was it? It was when you realized that he no longer considered you his daughter.”

Emotional blunting is a common response to repeated trauma, so Magilou’s current disposition isn’t solely a result of a physically broken heart but also an emotionally broken one. Melchior’s betrayal was the final straw that led to the Magilou we see in-game, a woman who is rarely authentic in her interactions. Her cheery façade and exaggerated theatrics are the opposite of the apathy she feels inside. Magilou says, “I don’t care about anything, and I don’t care that I don’t.” That’s what she wants the people around her to believe. It’s a lie twofold: one, that she doesn’t care at all, and two, that she doesn’t care that she doesn’t care.

If Magilou didn’t care, she wouldn’t be telling Melchior how lovely it is that her traveling companions are driven by their emotions. She wouldn’t be asking Velvet what it feels like to hate. For her, it’s easier not to feel, sure; but in the same breath, she seems envious of others’ capacity for emotion. Her self-aggrandizing comments are a mask for the lack of self-esteem that shows itself in rare moments, most likely a product of both the repeated abandonment in her past and the blunted emotion that separates her from everyone else. “I hope you learn to like yourself,” Velvet tells her, having finally seen through the mask.

But Magilou gets more out of traveling with Velvet and crew than just having a host of people to compare herself to. Perhaps observing them is what allows Magilou to awaken a bit more from her slumber of apathy. As she tells Velvet before the final dungeon, “I finally found something to care about.”

What is the deal with Rokurou’s emotions?

Rokurou, being a daemon, also presents with a limited range of emotion. But what does that mean? What is his internal experience like?

Rokurou advertises himself as a heartless daemon who only cares about defeating his brother. He invites a simple interpretation of himself.

But I think the core of Rokurou’s being is, in fact, very human: a push and pull between two diametrically opposite sides of himself. The Rokurou who gets so caught up in the heat of battle that he will turn on even Laphicet before someone snaps him out of it versus the Rokurou who has only kind, encouraging words for Laphicet and goes out of his way to help the other party members. The Rokurou who upholds the principles of the Rangetsu clan versus the Rokurou who turned against those principles to challenge Shigure for the first time. The confident, even-tempered Rokurou and his vulnerable moments that reveal the doubt beneath the exterior.

This push and pull has been going on since he was a human. The scene that shines the brightest light into his psyche, I think, is the skit that is triggered by sleeping at the Meirchio inn. Velvet walks in on Rokurou’s sword training. She says he looks peaceful, but he counters that it’s actually the opposite- “It brings out my negative thoughts…my hatred, my doubts, my ego, my anger.” He says he used to try to practice to get rid of his negative thoughts, or so he told himself, but now he realizes that can’t be done. We can infer that these are the emotions and feelings that drove him to become a daemon and the ones that remain with him strongly since his transformation. He has given up on trying to fight them, and they are now his driving force. Unlike Magilou, I don’t interpret him as apathetic but as a very, very skewed scale when it comes to emotion.

Rokurou often mentions how little he cares about his loss of humanity or what others think of him. It’s his version of “I don’t care about anything, and I don’t care that I don’t.” This is also a lie twofold.

I point to the scene in which Velvet comes upon Rokurou sitting outside drinking while Kurogane forges himself into a sword, having a minor crisis about what allowing his friend to do such a thing says about him. He tells Velvet, “You hate because you love, and feel as much hurt as you do anger. That’s human.” He says of Shigure, “He has the very human strength to take the good with the bad and just keep pushing ahead. A strength that I, as a daemon, can never match.” His insecurity about his state of being and the inferiority he feels towards Shigure are on full display.

As in Magilou’s case, the narrative doesn’t disprove the emotional blunting that Rokurou describes, but it does contradict that it goes as far as he says it does. We see genuine emotion from Rokurou multiple times. In a skit where Eleanor decries the lack of empathy in daemons, Laphicet thinks to himself, “But Velvet and Rokurou have empathy.” During the sidequest “Rokurou’s Blade,” he mentions how good it felt to hear his mother praise him for the first time (say hello to another very likely source of Rokurou’s self-esteem issues.) In the scene where he strikes down Shigure, watch the sadness on his face when Shigure tells him that Rokurou’s first attempt on his life was for naught- Shigure was going to leave the clan anyway.

Finally, Shigure comments on Rokurou’s vicious smile: “If only Artorius’ stony face could smile like that, he’d be a lot happier.” Despite the negativity driving Rokurou, Shigure points out the truth: it’s not an empty, joyless existence.

In very professional conclusion, the end I friggin love Berseria and I love Magilou and Rokurou byeeee

[p-seduonym]

Being the Maid of Yandere Louis James Moriarty

A/N: I kinda winged this one, if you can’t tell already. Enjoy, or don’t, I guess. Do whatever.

You were a maid at the Rockwell estate.

Fairly young, you had worked there for your entire life.

Your days consisted of tedious chores, cooking and cleaning mostly.

That is until Lord Rockwell suddenly took in three wards.

You heard passing rumors from other servants, about the incident at the Moriarty manor.

The count and his wife, along with all of their servants, tragically lost their lives in a terrible fire. Nothing was spared, except the count’s children, who were left orphaned.

Although no one seemed to mention the adopted child that had also perished in the fire…

You felt pity for the boys, only a few years younger than yourself. Especially the youngest.

The eldest son, Albert, was busy with duties as the heir to the earldom while the second son, William, was soon enrolled in school.

That left the youngest, Louis, alone.

And, although you don’t like to admit it, you felt slight trepidation at first. 

The boys were withdrawn, which could only be expected, but they didn’t seem to have an air of grief about them. More so, the atmosphere appeared almost like a cold sense of resolution.

But, when you laid eyes on his bandaged face, you felt guilty for your thoughts.

Ashamed, you made it a point to be especially kind to the boys. But, your efforts mostly went to Louis, who remained in the house most of the time.

Initially, Louis was rather confused by your attention. You seemed to go out of your way to speak with him. Whether it was just greeting him or asking how his day was.

He didn’t know why you were so interested in him, rather than Albert, the eldest, or William, the prodigy. 

Most people disregarded him, the adopted, scarred boy from the slums, with neither age or intelligence to make him stand out in a particular way.

Still, he remained cordial to you. He was even somewhat grateful to learn firsthand how to manage a household.

Soon enough, it became common for the two of you to be seen together, whether it was doing laundry, washing dishes, or cooking in the kitchen.

It was tedious work that you were used to, but you enjoyed the time with Louis.

And you couldn’t help but think he did as well.

As time passes, Louis becomes gradually less distant, his smile becoming less of a pleasantry, more genuine.

He would also leave small gifts for you, be it a small pastry he claimed he made too much of or a flower he said was out of place in a bouquet he picked.

You're pleased by this change. Ignoring etiquette, you sometimes gently ruffled his hair just to see him get flustered. Or you would hug him to coax a smile out of him.

If someone saw the two of you, they would have seen an older sister teasing her brother.

And it felt that way. For you, at least. For Louis…

It felt odd to think of you in such a way.

William mentions, offhandedly, how close the two of you seem to be.

Louis is startled by this observation. He’d never been particularly close to anyone except William, and Albert, to an extent.

He quickly assured his brother that you were just a maid, an innocent servant that knew nothing.

But William only smiles and says he’s happy to see Louis enjoying himself. 

With his brother’s (seeming) blessing, Louis reconsiders his feelings about you.

It was obvious you viewed him as a younger sibling, if your physical affection said anything. But why did that frustrate him?

He wanted to be the only one you smiled at with that beautiful smile of yours. He felt irritated whenever you gave one in passing to a male servant.

Fortunately, it was easy to use his young age to his advantage. He would grab at your skirt like a child trying to get someone’s attention. It was shameless, but effective as you would turn to him with a smile.

Or he would pretend to be confused about how to prepare a meal, just to have your attention to himself.

It was easy when he was younger, but those tricks wouldn’t work as he got older.

So how could he keep you to himself?

As years passed, the two of you grew older.

Your relationship now turned a few more heads. Why would a simple maid be so close to the son of a count? You heard this among other whispers as you passed servants in the halls.

It was endearing, at first, to see a maid so attentive to her young master. Now, however, it made it look as if you were just a tad too ambitious. Could you be trying to raise your social status by seducing a young nobleman?

The entire idea scandalized you so much that you made an effort to shape up, acting more professional around Louis, who obviously notices you becoming more distant.

It’s difficult trying to maintain a proper relationship, between a servant and their master, with him. But you figured it was for the best, since he came of age and wouldn’t remain in the Rockwell estate forever.

This was inevitable, and you had resigned yourself to that…

Louis, however…

He isn't oblivious to the rumors, so he doesn’t blame you for becoming distant. However, he refuses to accept this. You’ve become someone precious to him.

So, he asks his brother for his advice…

For reasons unknown to you, your life had become increasingly hostile at the Rockwell manor. Rumors followed you everywhere, along with disdainful looks. You noticed items of yours disappearing. Pins were stuck in your uniform and broken glass in your shoes.

Who would do such a thing?

Your only solace was Louis, who remained loyal even in the wake of your distant behavior towards him. He comforted you as you confessed all that happened.

Ultimately, it all culminates in someone - you only saw a shadow - pushing you down the large staircase, causing you to break a leg. The one who found you lying at the base in a heap was Louis…

Carrying you to the servant’s quarters, Louis softly proposes something to you.

Albert has purchased a house, in the quiet town of Durham. Somewhat old, but furnished. He and his brothers were to move there soon.

As he bandages your leg, he asks for you to come with him. He can’t bear to see you suffer here any longer. There won’t be too much work, his brothers and he weren’t demanding. There was always a place for you.

As you tear up and hug him, for the first time in a while, Louis smiles to himself.