#and I’m not about to find one if I can’t even fucking update my goddamn cv

[sleepymaddy]

.

[wintersoldiersoul]

hey dear ❤️ I maybe thought of an imagine with Bucky where you're on a mission in the mountains but due to the weather you need to stay in a little cabin for the night but it's terribly cold. He lights a fire but then he offers you his sweater. You're both getting closer (you have a crush as well on each other), so you kinda forget about the mission and just enjoy the time together as you also share a meaningful kiss?

Keep Me Warm

A/N: I changed up the timeline of this a tiny bit but the main idea is still there! I hope you enjoy!!

The mission had been long and grueling. You and Bucky have spent nearly a week in the mountains trying to take down the enemy. You were exhausted, both physically and mentally. Finally, you had gotten the call that you could come home. You were so excited to be back home in the compound, sleeping in your own comfy bed.

“Excited to go home, Y/N?” Bucky asked. 

You rubbed your hands together, trying to keep warm while you waited for the jet. “Can’t wait. I’m looking forward to a nice hot shower and sleeping in my bed.”

He smiled. There was no better thing in the world than him smiling. You tried to keep your crush on him at bay, knowing he’d never feel the same way about you, but damn was it hard. His blue eyes were so mesmerizing and his smile could wake a goddamn army. He was just so perfect.

You smiled back, hoping that he assumed that the blush on your cheeks was from the cold and not from him.

His phone rang and he answered, hoping it would be an update on how far the jet was. “Hey Steve,” Bucky said into the device. “Shit, really? Yeah, yeah, that’s fine,” he sighed. “Yup. I’ll check back when we’re there. Bye.” He hung up and looked at you. “Bad news. There’s a bad storm coming and the jet can’t fly. We’re gonna have to stay here another night.”

“Fuckk,” you threw your head back in frustration. You had spent the entire mission hiding in safe house to safe house, all of them in secluded areas where you couldn’t be found. Sometimes if you were lucky, you got to stay in nicer places with actual beds and furniture. But due to the sensitive nature of this mission, that hadn't been the case. The thought of spending another night in one of those places nearly made you cry. 

“Good news is that Steve said there’s a cabin not too far. It’s still nothing fancy, but he said its an upgrade to what we’ve been in. We should be safe now that we’ve, you know, taken down the enemy,” he smiled warmly, trying to get you to stay positive. 

“Oh, that's good,” you responded. “Let’s go, then.” 

The two of you had to trudge through the snow to get there. The walk ended up being nearly 2 hours and you couldn’t feel your body by the time you arrived. The cabin was small, with only one bedroom, a living room, a small kitchen, and a bathroom.

“Shit, you’re shivering,” Bucky noted when you got inside.

“Yeah, how are you not?” 

He shrugged. “It’s the serum. I’m still cold, don’t get me wrong, but it makes it a lot harder for me to be cold. Even in freezing weather.”

“Must be n-nice,” you mumbled through chattering teeth. “I get cold so easily. Any time it’s below 50 degrees I can’t f-feel my t-toes.”

“Go take a hot shower, okay? I’ll try to see if there’s any food I can make for us.” 

You nodded, going to the bathroom to take a shower. You took your time, rejoicing in the hot water as you washed all of the dirt off of your skin. When you got out, you rummaged through your bag trying to find a sweatshirt but it seemed to have disappeared. “Fuck,” you whispered. You must have left it at the last safe house. You threw on a t-shirt and sweats, still shivering as you made your way into the kitchen.

“Is the heat on?” You asked Bucky.

“I think it’s broken. I was playing around with it but it doesn’t seem to be doing anything.”

You rubbed your hands over your arms, trying to get warm. “Shit, I think I left my sweatshirt at the last safe house.” 

 “Doll, you’re gonna freeze,” he said sympathetically. “Here.” In one fell-swoop he ripped off the gray cable knit sweater that he had on. “I just put it on when we got here so it’s clean.”

“Buck, I don’t want you to be cold, though,” you protested, despite how cozy the sweater looked. 

He swatted a hand. “Remember, I don’t get too cold. Don’t worry about me. You’re gonna turn into an ice block soon.”

You smiled, graciously. “Thanks.” You pulled the sweater over your head, immediately enthralled by his scent. The fabric smelled like musky vanilla and pine, the scent that you had come to associate with him. It smelled like home. 

“I was able to find some soup,” he said, holding out a bowl for you. “Maybe it will help warm you up.” 

“Thank you, Buck.” You sat down and began to eat.

“Lemme see if I can get a fire started,” he got up and walked over to the fireplace. You watched him as he threw wood into a pile, entranced by his muscles flexing each time he picked up another piece. Between the serum, the metal arm, and the fact that he was just so in shape, he did it all with ease, not even flinching at the weight. How could you not fall for the guy just a little bit? 

“You alright over there?” He smirked at you, noticing your eyes on him.

Shit, get it together, Y/N, you thought. “Oh, sorry, just zoning out,” you tried to cover. 

Within a few minutes, he had a roaring fire emanating heat throughout the room. But it still wasn’t enough to keep you warm over by the table you were still sitting at. 

“Come over here,” he encouraged. “It's nice and warm by the fire.”

You stood up and made your way over to the couch so that you could feel the heat of the fire better. “Oh, that’s nice,” you hummed, feeling the embers warming your body. Bucky crept up beside you sitting down and rubbing his flesh arm over yours.

“You’re fucking freezing. I can feel how cold you are through the sweater,” he whispered. He was so close to you. “Lemme hold you. Warm you up a bit.”

“Um,” you cleared your throat, heart rate speeding up. “O-okay. Yeah, sure.” 

He laughed quietly before pulling you so you were laying back against him. “Damn, I feel bad that you’re so cold,” he said, voice holding sympathy and care.

“It’s not your fault, Buck. You’re already doing a lot to try to help.”

The next words he said were something you never thought you’d hear. “Maybe I should never let you go. Just keep holding you like this forever.”

“What?” Did you hear him right? Did he really just say that? He laughed lightly. “Would you like that?”

“Bucky, I-um…” you felt so flustered. Was he just messing with you?

“Come on, Doll,” he smiled. “I don’t know how much more obvious I can make it that I’m kinda in love with you. And I think…” he said, putting his mouth close to your ear. “You might feel the same way about me.”

“Bucky,” you whispered, the feeling of him speaking into your ear sending chills through your body. 

“If I’m reading it totally wrong that’s okay. But I can’t hide how I feel anymore, Y/N. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t even talk to you for like 3 months because I got so flustered around you. Then we did start talking and I found out that you were also the most interesting, intelligent, kind person I’ve ever met. So tell me, please. Do you feel the same way?”

Your heart pounded. How was this happening? “Yes, Bucky. I-I feel the same way.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “Can you turn around so I can kiss you?”

You quickly flipped your body so you were lying on him, face to face. He pulled your mouth to his, quickly inserting his tongue into your mouth. It was so much better than you had imagined, and you had spent a lot of time fantasizing about kissing him. 

“Y/N,” he said, resting his forehead against yours. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that.” He ran his hand up and down your back as he spoke. “You’re so amazing.”

“I’ve been dreaming about that for a while too, Buck,” you laughed, enjoying his embrace. “You know,” you spoke, voice in a teasing tone. “There’s only one bed in here. We might have to put it to good use.”

Within a second, Bucky picked you up and carried you to the bedroom.

[burntheedges-updates]

over again, chapter 1

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges

Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming. or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it)18+ minors DNI chapter tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, light angst, cursing, no use of y/n, no description of reader (see note below), smallish age difference (reader is 26, Joel is 32/almost 33 when they meet in 2000) (small for this fandom, anyway) (the smut comes later, y'all, we're just getting started here) a/n: Well, here we go! This is part 1. This fic is completely finished. It’s a 5+1 and for some of the 5 parts I’ll post them together (on Sundays) and for some I’ll post them separately (on Sundays and Wednesdays) just due to length. Obviously I'm posting this one early (lol). I’ll tell you whatever the schedule is for the different parts. I've paid a lot of attention to the reader's description in this fic. I've avoided skin color, hair type, body shape/size descriptions, and even clothing (except for one or two spots where you are specifically wearing jeans and boots). You are vaguely shorter than Joel. He does not run his fingers through your hair, and you feel the blood rush to your face or your face heat, but you don't turn red or pink. Please tell me if you notice anything I missed - I want this to be as inclusive as possible. word count: 1724 (for this part) series main post & chapter list | series playlist (w/ plot-related mix) ao3 | chapter 2

Chapter 1: Meet Cute

Jackson, Early Winter, 2023

You’ve been heading northwest from somewhere in Kansas, thinking you’ve never bothered going out this way, even Before, so why not? It’s been months since you saw another person. You’re not even sure the last time you spoke out loud. 

You blame the lengthy isolation for how easily they get the jump on you. 

It's just after dawn when you're rudely awakened - at first, you’re not sure why, but a second kick to your hip sends you scrambling to sit up in your sleeping bag, which is tangled around your legs. Looking around as you struggle, you realize you’re surrounded by people on foot and on horseback. Every single one of them is pointing a gun at you. You glance to the side and realize your backpack along with anything possibly useful inside of it has been kicked away from you. The woman who kicked you has a steely look in her eye that reminds you, in your half awake state, of the last boss you had Before. 

“State your business.” As she speaks you notice the two men closest to her start to fan out a bit, but you don’t dare look away from her.

“I’m just passing through, I’ve been looking for a good place to spend the winter.”

Or, that’s what you would have said, if not for the voice from your past shouting your name in shock just as you open your mouth. “No goddamn way, is that really you?”

You think you must be hallucinating, because everyone you knew Before is dead, but then Tommy fucking Miller pushes his way in front of the woman who spoke. For a moment you can’t do more than stare at each other — him with his gun hanging limply in his right hand, you with your legs still tangled in your godforsaken sleeping bag. Then you launch into motion and start to kick it away as you find your voice. It comes out shaky. Or maybe you’re shaking all over.

“Tommy? But — you’re alive? Where the hell have you been? Wait, are Joel and—“

Tommy cuts you off as he pulls you to your feet and into a tight hug. “Holy shit, we thought you were dead. Holy fucking shit.”

“We? Tommy wait, are they—“

Tommy pulls back, keeping hold of your shoulders as he looks you in the eye. He’s grinning, his eyes wandering all over your face. “He’s alive, sunshine. Or he was when he came through here about a month ago. We’re expecting them back in the spring.”

You can feel your heart racing and your whole body feels hot and tingly. You’re overwhelmed. You didn’t think you could still feel hope like this. It’s terrifying, but you have to know. “He’s- Them? They’re both alive? Sarah?”

You know the answer before he even says anything. Tommy’s face falls, his eyes drop from yours, and you feel it like a sucker punch, as bad as it was the first time around. Your knees give out even though this is what you’ve known, or tried to convince yourself must be true, for 20 years. Tommy falls gently with you to the ground.

Your baby girl. “Oh god, Sarah. And Joel, he must have been—“

“Yeah, sunshine. He thought he lost you both. It wasn’t… well. It wasn’t good.” 

You’re starting to feel numb. You have no idea what your face is doing right now, but judging by Tommy’s, it isn’t pretty. 10 minutes ago you were alone in the apocalypse, and suddenly you’re face-to-face with your almost-brother-in-law and you know, without a doubt, that your fiancé hasn’t been dead this whole time. Is this shock? It’s been 20 years since you felt a shock like this. Since you felt anything like this. 

“Tommy, I… I need to sit down.”

“Well, you are sitting down, sunshine. But get up, gather your stuff. You can come to town with us. Stay as long as you’d like.” You nod, unsteady, and Tommy guides you carefully towards what must be his horse. 

The day passes in a daze. You think you might actually be hallucinating, or still back in your sleeping bag, dreaming, because a whole, functional town? A commune, and a house they’re just going to let you have as your own? A real community? With your only remaining family, miraculously alive? It’s impossible. You float through the rest of the day and find yourself sitting on a bed in a house with indoor plumbing that somehow belongs to you, having just eaten real food in the company of the family you thought you lost 20 years ago.

You give up and go to sleep. (What else are you going to do?)

...

As you settle into life in Jackson, the knowledge that you might see Joel — your Joel, any day now — never leaves your thoughts. It’s like a drum beat at the back of your mind that only repeats his name, marking time every hour of every day. You don’t know how you’ll prepare yourself for it. How could you? You haven’t seen him in 20 years. Anything could be different. You can so easily picture him with a daughter, but it’s Sarah in your mind, not Ellie, who Tommy has told you a bit about. Every time you open those old wounds that you’ve done your best to bury it hurts like the first time. Would he still want you? Still know you? Do you still know him? Would Ellie like you? You can’t imagine not knowing Joel, or Joel not knowing you, but it’s been 20 years and people change. You’ve changed, after all. Some days you barely recognize yourself. 

You express these fears to Tommy once, but he only laughs and says his brother may be stupid but he’s not stupid enough not to want you. It’s reassuring and rude, so, exactly like Tommy. At least some things never change.

The day Joel Miller walks back into Jackson you happen to be standing on the road near the gates, talking to Tommy, and you swear he spots you in less than 5 seconds. It’s like you can’t help but look to each other first, even when you don’t know the other is alive, even when you haven’t seen each other in 20 years. You’d know the shape of him anywhere and your eyes have never stopped looking for it, never stopped catching on a set of shoulders, a cocked hip, a tilted head, only to be disappointed when it faded like a mirage. When the person in front of you didn’t fit the hole he left behind. It hurt every time. Maybe it’s been the same for him. 

Joel looks like he’s seen a ghost, and you have no idea what expression is on your face, but the moment you lock eyes all you see is the moment you first met, almost 24 years ago, like a film negative laid on top of what’s really in front of you. He’s older, of course, but so are you, and he’s still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen.

He steps towards you and whispers your name like a prayer.

Joel fucking Miller. 

Austin, Summer 2000

It was a Saturday morning in late summer, so not yet the hottest part of the day, but not comfortable, either. Your belongings were steadily moving from the truck to your new rental house under your somewhat careful supervision when movement from the house next door caught your eye. You looked up just as one of the guys from the moving company almost dropped your nightstand off the back of the truck, distracting you from the sight of a young girl, maybe about 10, rocketing out of the house next door and down her front steps. She was wearing a bright green soccer uniform.

By the time your nightstand had been righted and you looked back towards your neighbors’ house, she’d made her way to the bushes between your driveways, standing on her tiptoes and taking in all of the commotion. She met your eye and grinned. You grinned back as she called, “Hi, new neighbor!” 

You walked over, stopping on the other side of the bush to introduce yourself. “Hi there, neighbor.” 

It didn’t seem possible, but she grinned even wider. “I’m Sarah, that’s my dad.”

You looked up, realizing there was a man coming down their steps towards the two of you — the most attractive man you’d ever seen in your life. He was tall, with broad shoulders and the look of a man who spent a lot of time in the sun, tan lines peeking out of his shirt sleeves. His brown curls were a bit messy and his shoulders and strong arms drew your eye like a magnet. You caught yourself giving him a quick once over and felt your face start to warm, embarrassed, but when you met his eyes again you caught him doing the same to you. You realized you were both caught and you smiled, introducing yourself. 

“Nice to meet you, darlin’. Joel Miller, and I think you’ve met Sarah.” You felt your face turn hot at the endearment but you knew he probably didn’t mean anything by it. Southern hospitality and all. “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

You’d opened your mouth to respond when you were rudely interrupted by a crashing noise from the moving truck behind you, and you whirled around to see a box on its side on the ground that definitely should not have been. You glanced back at your neighbors as you excused yourself. “It’s great to meet you! Sorry, I need to see what that was.”

They shooed you along before you could even finish your sentence, reassuring you that they understood. “Let me know if anything broke, darlin,’ I’m pretty handy, could probably fix it. It’d be my pleasure.” He smiled at you a bit, just on one side, edging towards a smirk, and you did your best not to stare at his mouth. “Deal,” you agreed, grinning. Both you and Joel seemed unable to draw your eyes away from each other. You were stuck, pinned in place under his gaze until Sarah tugged on his arm and dragged him towards their truck. “Dad, we’re gonna be late!”

The view from the back was just as nice as the front. 

...

a/n: ch 2 is up!

taglist: @morgaussy

[mac-cheez]

My Guide to Surviving the Waynes

This has been sitting in my drafts for a while and I finally finished the ending!! Don't expect an update soon I have no idea when the fancy will strike again and the TMA brain rot is real rn.

Pt. 1 Pt. 2

---------------------------------------------------------

Dear Diary,

I was wrong. SO WRONG. You’d think rich people, especially adopted rich people, would be at least a little sane, but no, they’re not and I have no idea how to deal. It’s only been a couple days since my last entry and so much has happened. So here’s what I’ve learned:

Let’s start with the first incident that happened roughly 10 min after my last entry. I had just finished when Tim offered to meet me in the coffee shop outside of the library (he was picking me up from campus)(Alfred was busy). When I walked in I saw him about to order and walked to the side to wait. He looked at the menu for roughly 0.2 sec before looking the barista dead in the eye saying “I’ll have a Vanilla Cold Brew with seven shots of espresso.”

The barista laughed and joked “Damn you want some cocaine with that?” Then he just said, “Sure that too.” and fucking walked away? He didn’t even give his name he just paid and went straight to the pickup area. The most concerning part of that story is that they fucking did it! And he drank the whole goddamn thing without batting an eye! I was highly concerned for his well-being the entire drive home. (I really need to talk to Mr. Wayne about a rental)

What’s even weirder is when we walked into the manor Dick was just hanging from the chandelier. It was sans rope and more acrobatic, but still concerning considering how tall the ceiling was. I’m still not entirely sure how he got up there, but I just walked away hoping to find my sanity once again.

The rest of the day went relatively smoothly with the normal amount of yelling and death threats (still can’t believe this is reality). The next day something actually nice happened while I was off from college and heading to the kitchen for lunch. It was a Friday so most of the house was either at work or school, and it was pretty quiet (thank god). When I walked in one of the others was in there cooking already (Jason I think?). I decided on a sandwich since he was currently using the stove and it was going smoothly till I got to the pickle jar. For whatever reason that thing was tight as hell and was going nowhere. He looked at me and after my fifth try (and many curse words) he held out his hand. I handed the jar to him, and he opened it without trouble.

“I loosened it,” I said trying to hide my embarrassment.

“Uh-huh,” he said distractedly. We sat in awkward silence till I noticed one of the books from the library on the counter. It was Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Sign Of The Four. I asked if he was reading it and he said yes. I asked him if he’s gotten to the twist yet and he looked at me puzzled.

“You’ve read The Sign Of The Four?”

“Yeah, not my favorite Sherlock Holmes Novel, but still good nonetheless,” I said not paying attention, “Are you reading unabridged or abridged?”

“Unabridged,” he said, “you into the classics?”

“Totally, I love a good Victorian mystery or gothic horror novel,” I replied.

“You?” I asked.

“More of a Jane Austen fan myself, but I can respect those choices,” he said thoughtfully.

“I’ve never read her works, but if I have a chance I wouldn’t mind trying,” I said. He looked up at me somewhere between excitement and bewilderment.

“Would you like some recommendations?” He said cautiously. I said sure, and he immediately went into a long speech about Jane Austen and her novels. By the time he was done my sandwich and his ramen were long gone. By the end, I had a list of books to read and a new reading buddy to rant about books to. We’ve hung out intermittently since then, and honestly, it was the sanest thing I did all week. However the sanity didn’t last long.

Many other incidents (too many to write) all culminated in this afternoon, when I finally caved and decided if this was my life, it might as well be documented for (at the very least) the enjoyment of others. It was fairly quiet (first clue) and my morning class had been canceled so I was just sitting in the living room doing some work. Everyone else was out and I was about to leave for my 2:30 class when suddenly someone smashed through the window and a smoke bomb was thrown. I honestly thought it was Tim or Jason being weird again, but then the smoke cleared and there was just a bunch of dudes in Green suits with question marks. They looked around and saw me pretty quickly and immediately pointed whatever weapons they had at me. Eventually, some other ones came in the room and said the house was empty and “Wayne is nowhere to be found.” They started arguing till they finally concluded that if none of the Wayne’s were here, I must be the next best thing. Honestly, I can’t even blame them, and at this point I just let it happen.

They put a bag over my head and put me over the strongest one’s shoulder. I was in a car for about an hour before I was potato sack’d again. Once I was placed down, the bag was taken off my head, and I saw that I was in an abandoned-looking warehouse. I saw some more of the brightly clothed men off to the side arguing, one looking even more ridiculous than the others. The extra ridiculous one finally gave up talking to the others(henchmen maybe?) and walked (more like strutted) over to address me.

“Hello guest of Wayne, may I ask your name?” He asked rhyming for some weird ass reason.

“Vic?”

“Ah yes but what is it’s whole, for a half shall not know?” He said lilting his voice… ‘whimsically’?

“What?”

“Your designation that all might know.”

I just continued looking at him with apparent confusion not knowing what the hell is going on. After a minute he hung his head and spoke normally.

“What is your full name?” He sighed.

“Oh! Victoria Blanc,” I said.

“Ah! And what is your relation to the name of Wayne?” He said trying again with the talking in circles bull.

“Look dude usually I could appreciate….. Whatever it is that's happening, but I’ve had one hell of a week so…….”

“Oh come now it couldn’t have been that bad.” He said dismissively.

“Alright bet! You might wanna sit down this is gonna take a minute.”

Once he sat I started explaining everything that had happened since I’d moved to Gotham. As I was explaining more and more of the “henchmen” started joining the crowd.

“He chased him through the manor with a sword?” Riddler asked (at least that's what one of the others called him).

“Yeah, and apparently this is a normal phenomenon,” I said exasperated.

“And here I thought I was crazy.”

“Oh, no this is probably the most sane thing that's happened to me all week,” I said hand waving (They untied me after a while)(I asked nicely).

I was about to continue when suddenly three figures jumped down and got into fighting positions.

“Let her go Riddler!” Said the one in Black and blue(and maybe a bird?)

“Oh, she was free to leave a while ago.” He said casually to the masked people.

“What?” said the one in red.

“Yeah, we even offered to get her away from that mad house,” said Bob.

“Mad House?”

“Yes, it's almost criminal how they act in that house, you bats should really get on that,” ‘Riddler’ said chidingly. 

I didn't really understand why he called them bats since they all looked bird-themed but I didn't bring it up because honestly, weirder things have happened at this point. They agreed to look into it, albeit very confused(and almost offended), and said they still needed to take me back.

“Fine,” ‘Riddler’ sighed heavily, “ but Vic, sweetie, if you need somewhere safe to stay in Gotham I have plenty of friends who will keep you safe while you finish your degree.”

“Yeah, kinda tempting, but I don't think my parents would like that very much, and they are paying for it so…….”

“Very well, offer stands in perpetuity, to Arkham yes?”

“You're not gonna ask a riddle or…..” said the one in red and black.

“Usually I would but honestly I’m far too concerned right now to care.”

After that, they handcuffed him and the other goons (kinda unfair but i guess they did kidnap me) and walked me out to one of the police cars so I could go back to the manor. They offered to drive me but I've seen enough motorcycle crash scene pictures to put the fear of God (thy name is friction) in me. When I got back Mr. Wayne was in the foyer with Alfred and immediately came over to make sure I was ok.

“Yeah, I'm fine Mr. Wayne, honestly I’m more worried about the class I missed than the kidnapping,” I explained.

He seemed concerned by that but had a phone call right after that he needed to take. Alfred walked me to my room (I think to make sure I wasn't concussed) and I just kinda went back to writing and here we are. Can't wait to see what fresh hell awaits me in the coming week……….. Maybe I should've taken Riddler up on that offer.

[potterandpromises]

OMITB 3x07 (THE THEO EPISODE) liveblog:

Was not expecting a new scene with Bunny of all things.

Uma kleptomaniac arc (this is like, the first thing we’ve really learned about her and it’s been three seasons.)

Uma trying to bond with Charles by joking-but-not-really about him murdering Bunny.

Theo now? Theo now!

I find it a tad unbelievable that Mabel didn’t know the sign for murder. It’s immediately forgiven though. (It was a decent way to establish their dynamic and her level of ASL.)

Theo telling Mabel that no one was closer to Ben then Ben’s brother when he likely doesn't even know he has a brother.

It’s fascinating to me that Mabel thought Theo might know Dickie.

I’m sorry, did Clif say, “goddamn mother.”

Charles and the replacement charleses.

I think that’s the first Gut Milk mention all season. They now come in blue raspberry, apparently.

I like how the writers were thinking up ways to bring Theo into the storyline and were like, what if he's just a giant fucking nerd?

(Also I watched that nose boop like twenty times when I prewatched One Killer Question on mute for the Crumbs.)

I really love the scene where Theo is feeding Mabel lines about CoBro 2.

That’s right Charles, close that window. Nothing good ever came from listening to music through your window.

I am not the target audience for Oliver's theater storyline. Bring me chekhov's heart attack.

Dickie adoption confirmation (also I like Dickie so far, he seems like a good guy.)

Um, is that ‘moron’ Theo spending daddy’s money?

Theo’s so attuned to Mabel oh my goooodddd.

Overall, I like Mabel and Theo’s updated dynamic. I like how they try and how their communication isn’t perfect.

Bloody Mabel podcast? Absolutely not. I feel like this just shows how wrong Tobert is for Mabel.

I pondered how the Tobert + Theo introduction would go. I knew he would know Theo from the podcast. I could’ve never guessed he would be a literal fan.

(Also how Tobert said he: “picked up on..”)

Unexpected sexual tension.

I can’t help but notice that this episode takes place in the building 👍

Charles and Oliver reunion via horse metaphor <3

Charles and Oliver drinking gut milk like it’s the good old days.

The podcast is back baby.

I’m so looking forward to more of whatever Theo-Mabel-Tobert have going on. I didn’t expect that alliance to last more then an episode.

Oh, so Dickie brought the hankie. Kind of sad (or suspicious? if he was hiding his identity) that Uma didn’t even realize Dickie was Ben’s brother.

Attempts to capitalize on bloody Mabel have not exactly gone over well before…

Bonus aftershow liveblog:

“There’s a different kind of intimacy, a different kind of home, when she’s with Theo.” Catch me screaming about this.

Okay, all this stuff about growth and his comment about Tobert and shedding labels. They are implying that Theo is queer, right?

This spin the wheel game has taken a sad turn…

But also the idea that Will is both Oliver and Teddy’s son and Theo is somehow also both Teddy and Oliver's son.

[yakumtsaki]

Oh yay, our first thunder fire in the new house, wonder how long before someone dies again! Also love how you can see our old house in the background, a reminder you can run from your past but you can’t escape it. 

I am of course talking about this family’s past of semi-acceptable interactions between family numbers, because from now on is where things really go off the rails in this department. Allow me to introduce you to..

..Julian and Stacy’s daughter, Sunset Tinker-Union! (Because her parents wear pink and purple, get it? Get the name origin?) So the minute Bartholomew brought Sunset from school I knew it was over for me, as we’re now far enough removed from the other branches of the family tree that not even the extended family mod can save us from all those third cousins being fair game.. and you all know full well that if there’s one thing this family knows how to do, is be attracted to their distant cousins-

-I held out to one tiny hope that maybe Barflina will continue being socially incompetent losers and Sunset will hate them, but no, the minute a distant cousin enters the building it’s clearly time to turn up the charm. So first Bartholomew goes and smustles with Sunset, which, Barth, I didn’t know you were even like, biologically capable of having fun in any way-

-and then Felina (who I keep forgetting is SHY LOL WHAT) goes over to ADMIRE HER. BRO. I have never seen Felina do anything remotely nice her entire life, KILL ME.

But don’t worry, Sunset clearly takes after auntie June! She’s into it! She follows Barth to the toilet for no clear reason! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME

So you at this point you might be like ya ok, calm your tits, there’s no guarantee anything will even happen. To which I reply go back and read, not even the whole thing, just our college runs, and then get back to me. We’ve been knocking on semi-incest’s door since generation 1 and now we don’t even have to knock, I mean the door is wide open! FML

ANYWAY, all this to say, it’s time to extremely focus on finding these two flops non-related-to-us people to date before we fuck off to college, and this is ALL I’m gonna be doing this update- 

-Like haha oh man Cyn and Sandy are starting a rock band, there’s def jokes here, NO. NO TIME, DON’T CARE, HAVE TO AVERT DISASTER.

-Failina, hold your goddamn notebook closer so I can copy, it’s hard with my eyepatch! -It’ll be even harder when I take your other eye out!

Alright you two.. uh.. awesome kids, let’s go out! 

-Go out where. -And WHY.

So you can have fun, meet people, maybe sing some karaoke or play bowling! You’ve seen how much fun your ancestors have had as teens out and about, driving drunk, being hoes, committing various crimes, you wanna miss out on that experience? It’s even how grandma Shajar met grandma Sophie and that marriage could not be stronger!

-Ugh ok, I guess I do need to get started on the spouse hunt. -And I would like to get drunk in a different setting than our library.

Perfect! Who knows, by the end of the night, you might even be besties singing duets like Jojo and Gunther!

Oh my- WE LITERALLY JUST GOT HERE. WHAT CAN YOU TWO POSSIBLY BE FIGHTING ABOUT

-SCREW YOU, DAVID OTTOMAS IS MINE -NO, HE’S MINE, HE’S THE ONLY TEEN SIM IN THE LOT AND I HAVE SENIORITY -THE HELL YOU DO

OK LET’S GO HOME

-SCREW YOU, I WANNA OPEN THE GARAGE DOOR -THE DOOR IS MINE, YOU CAN’T EVEN DRIVE YET

OMG LITERALLY STOP. I LEARNED MY LESSON, I’M NEVER MAKING YOU INTERACT AGAIN

Once again, I’m crawling back to Lakshmi! Finally she has returned to us! As you might recall I had to deal with her understudy, Margaret, and frankly she was better than Lak at her job but it just wasn’t the same. Lakshmi and I have HISTORY. We have a deep, dark, beautiful relationship-

-I’m not giving you a discount. 

UGH FINE. Take 5k of our last money (I forgot to mention the new house somehow cost 500K, we legit have like 20k left)-

-and hit us with your best shot!

-Oh, I will! 

Ok but you’ve said that before and I’m still not over the time I paid you 5k for June and you gave us iVan. 

-No, this time I mean it! The path is clear! 

The ‘path is clear’?? The path for FELINA’S love life is clearer than it was for June the literal model-hot genius???

-Indeed!

I gotta say, Lakshmi, your mouth better not be writing checks your crystal ball can’t cash.

-It is not, I promise! 

Alright, I’m waiting, do it to us-

OH

MY

GOD

IT’S MEADOW

THEY HAVE 3 BOLTS THIS IS ALREADY HILARIOUS. LAKSHMI YOU ARE FORGIVEN FOR ALL THE SHIT YOU’VE EVER PULLED ON ME

Bro this pairing is KILLING ME. Like I get it on paper since they’re both family sims and I guess their chemistry panels and zodiacs must insanely match too, but I thought Felina would get with someone like idk. Gvaudoin? Alegra Gorey? Klara Vonderstein? Maybe the Diva or a vamp NPC? Like you know what I mean, someone that makes sense with the whole dark queen powerful dynasty blabla she has going on. But no, she’s gonna start this house Lannister bs her LTW is about with.. MEADOW THAYER. I love it so much, Felina please don’t ruin this for us!

FELINA WTF DID I JUST SAY

-Sorry, but I don’t know you well enough to accept you touching my shoulder, huhu!🌞

-But if you want to tickle me again, that’s somehow more acceptable to me despite it involving way more touching!🌞

Alright, as I suspected, not a lot going on upstairs with dear Meadow, but it’s ok, I’m just glad to have a huhuing sim around again, Cyn is like 80yo :(

Ah, the tickling of love! Good job, Fel, now we can work our way up to flirting-

-Or I can just not be a turbocuck AND GO FOR IT

Man, the Sophie genes kicked in! Good for you, Fel!

Backyard karaoke time! Seriously what song could these two possibly BOTH like, please comment or msg me your guesses. 

So at this point I’m already 100% sold on Meadow as a spouse as I don’t think it’s humanly possible to come up with a funnier pairing than what fate dropped in my lap, but I’d also like to point out that Felina is so into Meadow that she’s already rolling fears of falling out of love with her, despite not even BEING IN LOVE WITH HER YET. Family sims are a fucking trip. 

CUTE. Alright Felina, you’re set, we got it in one, semi-incest avoided, yay us. Now I’m gonna leave you to your dream date and focus on Barth-

-who is gambling by himself. Guess I don’t need to ask who’s drunk again!

-That’s one safe bet, haha! 

Good Lord. Alright, get up, let’s find you someone while Lakshmi is still here, I’m sure our amazing luck will continue-

-OH FUCK IT’S TIAVE TEENS, HE HAS THE DON BROKEN FACE THING. ABORT ABORT

Oh good there’s nothing to abort, because it turns out Bartholomew is a COMPLETE FAILURE OF A ROMANCE SIM. Observe and keep in mind THEY HAVE 3 BOLTS:

-LALALA LALALA NOT LISTENING TO YOU INSULT MY SPATULA, FUCK OFF

LOL NO @ THE NOOGIES RETURN. FUCK. So clearly Felina has grandma Sophie’s chadly genes and Bartholomew has grandma Shajar’s noogiesexuality, except he’s a romance sim with a 20 woohoo LTW. College with this guy is gonna be UNBEARABLE. 

Alright, Barth, let’s try this again, don’t be discouraged! Ignore our lack of cash!

Ignore that Felina got it right on the first try and is still on her endless dream date!

PATRICK TEENS?! LMAO. Bartholomew is so committed to going through family trees, like if it’s not gonna be his own it’s gonna be SOMEONE’S, he doesn’t care! Unlike Don-clone Tiave, Patrick is cute tho, let’s give it a try-

-Ya, let me stop you right there, buddy, not into it but best of luck in your future endeavors!

Bruh. Let’s extremely call it a night, Barth.

-Oh hi, huhu!🌸 -Hi hi, huhu!🌞 -I feel like I know you?💗

Ya Cyn, if I didn’t have photographic proof that it’s not true I’d legit think she’s your long lost daughter. Man ACTUALLY how much sense does it make that like people tend to seek out partners that remind them of their parents and Cyn was always such a maternal influence on Felina??? Holy hell this game has so many layers. 

Clearly inspired by seeing her younger self in Meadow, Cyn finally finds it in her to woohoo again after Don’s passing! It’s legitimately crazy to me how loyal she was to him in death, like I can’t get over it, she never extended that courtesy to him while he was alive!

-𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙼𝚈 𝙵𝙸𝚁𝙴.𝙴𝚇𝙴

It’s ok, Barth, you sleep off the romantic flopping and that tray of whiskeys and we’ll try again tomorrow.

-Ya, make sure to call us over when he ‘tries again tomorrow’ cause we don’t wanna miss it HAHA -HAHAHA boy did I screw him over by passing down my personality points! -You sure did, my little turbocuck! Let’s sleep in the same bed tonight, I can’t get into this one anyway with this flop sleeping there! -That’s what everyone is gonna be saying to him in college HAHAHA -HAHAHAHA oh Shaj, I love you, let’s work on our marriage! -I love you too, we’ll overcome our issues!

Awww, see Barth? Love wins❤️

[wri0thesley]

Ok, now I’m starting to think we’re following the same twitter circles because I saw that yesterday too! ✋😂 Definitely gave me pause to see Scara on there when he’s such a goddamn BRAT, which I admittedly do like but that doesn’t make for much of a daddy. Xiao didn’t belong on there either, you’re right, and at this point I’m genuinely convinced your average twitter user doesn’t understand the actual meaning of any word ever, because the gross misusage is legit out of control over there. I’ve long since given up the discourse lifestyle (or so I tell myself cmdkxmse) but some of the stuff I see truly tests my patience for fandom culture nonsense, as well as my self control to keep my mouth shut 😂

The bizarre obsession they have with “minor coded” characters is absolutely one of those things - for example, did you know that there were people trying to insist both Layla AND professor Faruzan are children? Truly, I wish you could’ve seen my face. 😭 Venti is easily the worst offense tho, I’m right there with you on that. It just doesn’t make sense from any perspective but honestly they probably deserve a medal for all the mental gymnastics they had to do to reach that asinine conclusion. He’s just as much of an old man as Zhongli is. His line at the end of the wine festival about feeling like some kind of grandpa should’ve been proof enough of that. lmao

((Zhongli IS my favorite Archon at least partially because he’s dad, daddy and grandpa all rolled into one 😂 but Venti fits the bill too, just in a different flavor. I’m low key convinced there’s some kind of correlation between that and the fact they’re the last remaining two of the original seven buuut I digress))

I like Nahida a lot too, she ended up being way more likable and charming than I originally thought she’d be but yeah, I’m SO ready to move on and delve deeper into the Deshret mystery instead. 👀 Somehow or another there are people who seem to have actually fallen for Al-Haitham’s bio insisting he’s the most normal, plain and unremarkable person to ever walk Teyvat and they’re starting to give up on the their theories but … if anything I think that just made him look all the more suspicious. lol Normal individuals don’t typically have to go out of their way to ensure they continue to appear normal. It’s very … Yoshikage Kira of him. 😂😂😂 Even if he’s not connected to Deshret (unlikely imo, given Cyno and the priest) I’d say he’s still got something going on behind the scenes and I can’t wait to find out what it is. Frankly tho I’m just so eager to go back to the desert again. It’s easily my favorite area in the game so far and also the Golden Slumber quest was just 10 out of fucking 10 imo. I need to know everything, see everything, experience everything. I also miss Dehya … a LOT. *sniffle* What do I have to do to have her top me? 😭

i follow almost nobody on twitter who posts like actual non-art things but the algorithm does like to show me discourse and lore posts (which . . . ok i won't complain about the second but the FIRST)....

GOD he was so . . . he was so grandpa in the whole of the wine event, i love him so much. he is so fun and lovely and also so melancholy at the same time. venti my beloved.

THE CONSTANT INSISTENCE THAT ALHAITHAM IS JUST A NORMAL NORMAL GUY DOING NORMAL NORMAL THINGS IS THE MOST SUSPECT THING ABOUT HIM. please. i don't like the desert very much (i hate the underground and i liked the first half of the desert quest but i am just avoiding doing the second because it's much less fun with less npcs to hang out with), but hopefully the apparently qol update we're getting that tells you the difference between underground and overground teleports will help there! mondstadt is my favourite region followed by inazuma (though the inazuma archon quest . . . oof). i am however extremely excited about SANDWORMS. i just think they will be cool!

[steddieworks]

finally safe for me to fall - chapter 3

hi! sorry this update is a little later in the day than usual, I've had a rough weekend! Enjoy the chapter!

read on ao3

Summary: Eddie settles into his new home with the Harringtons.

Warnings for this chapter: Swearing

Words: 6k

It doesn’t take Eddie long to unpack his duffel bag. He hangs his shirts up with care, and folds his jeans and sticks them neatly into the top drawer of the dresser. He puts his socks and underwear in the next one over, and by then the duffel bag only holds a few cassettes, a sketchbook, and a lame gag gift a friend back home had given him. How embarrassing.

Eddie sits on the bed for a little while, trying to wrap his head around everything he’ll need to learn to be good at this job. All the ways he could fuck up taunt him somewhere in the dark corners of his mind, and he kindly tells those little voices to take a goddamn hike. He can do this. He doesn’t really have a choice.

He emerges from his room eventually, leaving his leather jacket and his boots behind. He feels a little awkward walking down the hall in such casual attire, in someone else’s house, but he forces himself into his fake-it-to-make-it persona. Technically, it’s his house too, now. He’s got every right to be here.

The little pep talk does nothing for him when he reaches the kitchen and finds Steve standing at the bar, his head bowed as he writes something. He’s got on a pair of glasses now, and Eddie’s throat closes a little bit at the sight. God, he’s gorgeous.

The twins spot him before Steve does, Ivy perking up from her spot on the floor across the room. “Eddie, can I show you my coloring page?” she asks excitedly, jumping up and waving a paper around above her head.

At the commotion, Steve glances up, smiling at Eddie. His eyes dart down, and Eddie isn’t sure if he’s imagining the subtle once-over he gives him. “Hey. Everything unpacked?” Steve asks.

Eddie nods, but turns around to answer the patient little girl first. “Sure, Ivy, let me see,” he meets her halfway, crouching down again and letting her explain why she chose this particular pink for the mermaid’s tail, but this particular pink for her hair.

When he glances up, Steve has a soft look on his face. He’s not quite smiling, but it’s close. “Alright, Ive,” he says gently. “Daddy needs to tell Eddie a few more things, so save your coloring sheet to show him later, okay?”

Ivy looks disappointed, but nods, going back to the coffee table. Eddie watches her poke at Jasmine’s paper, suggesting a color or something, and he can’t help how full his heart feels at the sight.

“They’re so excited to have someone else to show their things to,” Steve says, interrupting Eddie’s train of thought. Steve shrugs at him. “Rule one of children, they want to share everything with you.”

Eddie laughs. “Yeah, I see that.” He walks around the counter to peer down at whatever Steve was working on. “You said you had some more things to tell me?” he asks.

Steve nods, picking his pen back up. “Right. I’m jotting down some things so you’ll have like, a cheat sheet. School at seven-fifteen, pick them up at three, dance lessons on Thursdays, that sort of thing.”

Eddie nods. He leans forward, propping himself up on the counter with his arms as he watches Steve write. They’re close enough that he can smell that same, distinct Alpha smell, the bourbon-touched vanilla, and Eddie almost has to breathe through his mouth to look less like a sniffing freak.

“I’m leaving important phone numbers too- myself, Robin, their primary doctor, all that stuff.” Steve seems to think for a moment, chewing on the end of the pen absently. Eddie has to look away. “Oh, allergies. Neither of them can have strawberries, okay? They’ll break out in the worst way, and Jasmine even stopped breathing the last time she accidentally had one.”

That’s good to know, Eddie thinks. He never would’ve thought to ask about their allergies.

Steve glances at the list, seems to be pleased with it after a minute, and goes to pin it to the fridge using a magnet. “I’ll leave it here so it’s easier to refer to, okay?”

Eddie nods. He glances at the clock, sees that it’s almost time for dinner. “What time do you guys usually eat dinner?”

“Usually about six, since I like to try and get them in bed early.” Steve hesitates then. “There will probably be days where I’m not home by then, though, so you’ll have to go ahead and make their dinner. I’ll just eat later those nights, or grab something on my way home.”

Eddie isn’t sure why, but that makes him sad. The stupid omega part of his brain says that it’s not right for an alpha to not come home to a home-cooked meal to be shared with their family. He has to snap himself out of that train of thought quickly though, reminding himself firmly that he is not Steve’s omega, never will be.

“Alright,” Eddie says quietly.

“Girls? What are we feeling for dinner tonight?” Steve calls, glancing over at his daughters as he crosses his arms. He smiles when they both come bounding over, holding an arm out as Jasmine sidles up beside him, leaning against his leg.

“Can we have soup? And grilled cheese?” Ivy asks, climbing onto one of the barstools on the other side of the island. She’s not sitting on her bottom, and Eddie bites back the urge to correct her.

Luckily, he doesn’t have to. “Put your butt in that seat, missy, we don’t sit like wild animals in this house,” Steve says, pointing a finger at her.

She obeys, but grins, like she was just testing him. “Can we? Grilled cheese? Please?” She repeats, her voice getting higher and higher with each word.

Steve sighs, runs his fingers through Jasmine’s hair. “Does that sound okay with you, Jazz?”

Jasmine nods. “I guess so.”

“You have to eat the crusts if I make grilled cheese,” Steve adds, glancing between the two of them. “We’re not going to waste the bread just for you to nibble out of the middle and leave the best part.”

Ivy whines. Eddie has to bite his lip to hide his smile. “But Daddy,” she whines. “The crust is nasty!”

Eddie interjects then, shaking his head like he’d just heard something crazy. “I’m sorry, what? The crust is delicious! It’s got all the magic!”

Jasmine peeks up at him, looking intrigued. “Magic bread?” She asks.

Eddie grins. “Uh, yeah? Didn’t you know that eating the crust will make you grow big and strong?”

Ivy makes a disgusted noise. “I don’t wanna be big and strong,” she complains. “I wanna have mermaid hair.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “You’re not dyeing your hair, so let’s drop that one, okay?”

Ivy pouts. “Fine,” she said. She looks at Eddie then, squinting. “Is that your real hair?” She asks, sounding skeptical.

Eddie can’t help the snort that comes out of him. “Uh, yeah, as far as I’m aware.”

“Is it very long?” Jasmine asks, stepping away from Steve to look up at Eddie.

Shrugging, Eddie reaches up and tugs the hair tie out, his curls falling around his shoulders like they normally do. “It’s a little long,” he admits with a smirk when both of the girls look at him with dumbfounded expressions. Even Steve looks a little speechless.

“Wow,” Jasmine says. “It’s so curly,” she says, reaching her hand out like she wants to touch it.

Eddie crouches down and lets her do just that. “You wanna know why?” he asks, in a conspiratorial whisper. When the girl nods, he leans in and says, “it’s because I ate my crusts!”

Jasmine nods, like he’s already won her over, but Ivy still protests from the bar. “Daddy, is that true?” she demands.

Steve’s smiling when Eddie glances up at him. “Well, yeah. Eddie wouldn’t lie to you over something so serious, guys.” He glances down at him, and winks, the bastard. Eddie tries not to blush.

“Yup,” Eddie agrees. He stands, and feels his heart squeeze a little bit when Jasmine looks disappointed. He’s quick to come up with a compromise. “Do you guys know how to braid?” he asks the twins.

Ivy nods, but looks unsure. “Well… sorta. Daddy tried to teach us.” She gestures at her messy hair, and Eddie can’t help but laugh. “That’s how we end up with disasters like this.”

“Hey,” Steve protests weakly. His face is definitely a little pinker. “I tried my best.”

Eddie gives him a reassuring smile. “I’ll teach you guys how to braid later, and you can practice on my hair, okay?”

The twins nod excitedly, both of them chorusing their agreement. Eddie’s proud of himself for the easy bonding idea, reaching up to tie his hair back again before turning to Steve. Steve’s already looking right back at him. “So, soup?” he asks lightly, pretending having Steve’s eyes on him doesn’t make him nervous.

Steve seems to shake himself, but nods. “Yeah. Um… I’ll do soup if you’ll do the grilled cheese?” he asks.

Eddie smiles. He loves the idea of cooking together, a lot. “Sure,” he agrees. He goes over to the sink to wash his hands, pushing up the sleeves of his long-sleeve tee. He hears a gasp from across the bar, and glances up, a little startled. “What?” he asks, staring at Ivy, who is in turn, staring at Eddie’s arms.

“You have drawings!” the child squeals excitedly, practically climbing onto the counter to get a better look.

“Ivy Bryn, sit down,” Steve’s voice says from behind him. When Eddie glances back, he finds that Steve also looks slightly curious, but glances back to his daughter and gives her a look. “I mean it, get off the counter, missy.”

Ivy sighs, and sort of listens, crawling from one bar stool to another until she’s sitting in the one directly across from where Eddie is standing. “Where did you get them?” Ivy asks, studying the tattoos on Eddie’s arm.

“Oh, um…” He says, glancing down at them himself. “Just tattoo places.”

Jasmine tugs on his sleeve from beside him, so he moves his arm so she can see. “Wow,” she says softly, poking at the bats next to his elbow. “Pretty,” she observes sweetly.

Eddie smiles at her, rubs his hand over her hair. “Thanks, sweetheart,” he says. He turns his arm over so she can see the other one.

“What’s that one?” Ivy asks, leaning over the counter to look.

“Oh, it’s…” He glances at Steve, wondering if he should even bother explaining it. Steve shrugs, but nods like it’s okay. “It’s a puppet master’s hand, and his puppet is a demon.”

“Cool,” Jasmine whispers, her voice full of awe.

Eddie grins. “I know, right?” He dries his hands off on the towel beside the sink before turning to look for the bread.

“Here,” Steve says, handing it over. “Pan’s in the bottom drawer of the stove,” he says, gesturing to it as he goes to the fridge and starts pulling out butter and cheese. “Why’d you get those tattoos?” He asks, glancing at him over the fridge door.

It’s a simple enough question, but Eddie’s a little embarrassed of the answer. “Well, um… bats are my favorite animal,” he starts slowly. “And, um… I really like Metallica.”

Steve stares at him like he doesn’t understand the correlation. Dear god. “Oh,” he says, vaguely.

Eddie has to smile, shaking his head subtly as he takes the items out of Steve’s hands. “‘Master of Puppets’? Ever heard of it?” Eddie asks, thinking that it’ll for sure ring a bell.

Steve shakes his head, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry, no. Not really my wheelhouse.”

Eddie feigns a dramatic sigh. “It’s okay, not everyone can be cultured,” he teases.

It has the intended effect, and Steve’s head drops back in a loud laugh. “Right, of course,” he says, very obviously pretending to agree. He goes over to a cabinet and pulls two cans of tomato soup out, and Eddie tries not to show his surprise. He would’ve thought for sure that rich people made all their stuff from scratch, so he’s a little surprised to see the familiar Campbell’s can.

“Good choice,” Eddie says, nodding at it.

Steve smiles. “Thanks. It’s their favorite kind. I’m not a huge fan, but it’s edible enough.”

Eddie nods, watching butter sizzle in the pan he’s working with. “You know milk makes it taste better,” he offers.

“No shit?” Steve says, sounding surprised. “I don’t think I’ve ever put milk in it before.”

“Oh yeah, you’ve gotta put milk,” Eddie tells him emphatically. “Or even heavy cream, that makes it even better. Otherwise you’re just drinking ketchup, right?”

Steve wrinkles his nose, but laughs. “Yeah, you’re right. We’ll try that this time, then.”

It’s mostly quiet after that, the two of them moving around the kitchen, preparing dinner while the twins chat aimlessly at the counter behind them. Every now and then, Steve steps too close, brushes his arm against Eddies, does something that makes Eddie hold his breath. He knows none of it is intentional, of course, but that doesn’t make it feel any less electric. Eddie’s just glad he remembered to spritz himself with scent blockers that morning, or else this would probably be very embarrassing indeed.

When everything is finished, Steve goes through and pours soup into four bowls while Eddie cuts each grilled cheese sandwich diagonally, which personally, he thinks is the tastiest shape. They put the food in front of the girls, and Eddie smiles when they immediately say “thank you.” They’re such good kids.

“We’ve got coke, water, or wine,” Steve informs Eddie from where he stands at the fridge. He glances at him, his glasses shoved up into his hair, and Eddie can’t help but think how soft he looks.

“Oh, um. Water is fine,” Eddie finally says after just staring at him for a moment too long.

Steve nods and goes about making drinks for the girls. Eddie watches him poor little travel-sized Kool-aid pouches into their glasses, and he smiles. Steve must catch him, because he says, “I would’ve offered you this but I didn’t want to insult you with my child-based selection,” he jokes.

Eddie laughs, shakes his head. “Right. Yeah, I think I’ll just stick to water.” He walks around the kitchen island with his own bowl, taking the seat next to Jasmine. “Is it pretty good?” He asks, glancing at each of them in turn.

Jasmine gives him a thumbs-up, slurping her soup loudly. Ivy is dunking the edge of her grilled cheese into the soup, looking at the crust like she’s not sure it can be trusted. It makes Eddie giggle. “It’s not gonna bite you, love,” he tells her.

Ivy gives him a sheepish look. “I know,” she says. She bites into it, and apparently it’s not as bad as she expects, because she continues eating, half of her grilled cheese gone just like that.

Eddie smiles, catching Steve’s eye for a moment. “Not so bad, was it?” Steve asks, setting drinks down in front of the twins and going back for his and Eddie’s. He takes the seat at the opposite end of the bar, on the seat next to Ivy.

“I guess not,” Ivy shrugs, but sounds like she doesn’t want to admit that they were right. Eddie can relate to that.

They eat in relative silence, the twins asking Eddie questions every now and then.

“Where are you from?”

“How old are you?”

“Do you like princesses?”

“Do you have kids?”

“Why not?”

By the time those types of questions roll around, Eddie is a bit frazzled.

“That’s enough,” Steve interrupts when Ivy innocently asks Eddie why he doesn’t have children of his own. “It’s not appropriate to ask someone those kinds of questions, girls.”

“But, Daddy - “ Ivy tries to interrupt.

Steve cuts her off with a sharp look. “No. Finish your dinner quietly. I don’t want to hear you two asking Eddie that question again, got it?”

“Mr. Harrington…” Eddie starts, a little hurt on the twins’ behalf. They couldn’t help being curious.

Steve glances at him. “Steve,” he corrects.

Eddie feels his face flush. He will not be calling him that. “They’re not hurting anything,” he says quietly. “I don’t mind them asking.”

“Well, I do,” Steve says, giving Eddie a deadpan look. “It’s none of our business,” he says, glancing at each of the twins pointedly.

Eddie thinks maybe he’s missing something, but he’s not sure what it is.

“Sorry,” Jasmine says quietly from beside Eddie.

“Yeah, sorry,” Ivy repeats, poking at the last bit of grilled cheese on her plate.

Steve sighs. “Are you guys finished eating?” he asks. When they nod, he gestures to the hall. “Alright. Go put your pajamas on. We’ll watch a movie before bed, yeah?”

That perks them right back up, much to Eddie’s relief. He didn’t think he could stand to see them so disappointed for long. As soon as the room is empty once more, he stands, collecting dishes and sparing glances at Steve. Steve’s got his head in his hand, and looks the picture of exhaustion.

“Everything okay?” Eddie asks, timidly.

Steve glances up at him, and looks briefly embarrassed. “Oh, yeah. Just… tired, I guess.” Eddie can feel his eyes on him as he piles their dishes into the sink, but he pretends that he doesn’t. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Steve clears his throat. “So, your days off. We need to discuss that.”

“Oh… okay,” Eddie says.

“Since I work during the week, it’d be easier if I just let you have Saturday and Sunday, if that’s alright with you,” Steve says.

Eddie nods, glancing up at him as he starts running water into the sink. Steve hasn’t tried to stop him yet, so Eddie gives himself a mental high five, since clearly he’s doing something right. “That’s fine with me,” he says. “And honestly, just one day would be enough. Not like I’ve got anything else to do, anyway.”

Steve gives him an odd look. “No, I want you to have a life outside of this, Eddie. I know you’re new to the city, but I can recommend places for you to check out, and you could meet new people, make friends.” Steve shrugs, like it’s that easy.

Eddie bites his lip, but doesn’t correct him. “Okay,” he replies softly, scrubbing the bowls under the hot dishwater.

“And one more thing,” Steve says. His voice sounds a bit different, and Eddie is confused when he looks up and finds a sort of embarrassed expression on his face. “Um, your heat.”

Ah. That explains the embarrassment.

“Oh,” Eddie says. He feels awkward talking about it so casually with the man who is going to be paying his salary, but he supposes it’s inevitable. “I’m on suppressants. I haven’t had a heat in over a year.” He hopes that’s not too much oversharing, but surely given the scope of the question, it’s alright.

Steve nods. “Alright. And you think you’ll be on suppressants for the foreseeable future?” he asks.

“Um,” Eddie starts, unsure how to answer. “Probably?” He’s not sure why Steve is asking that. Typically, omegas are on heat suppressants until their alpha decides it’s time to have pups, although in that scenario, the suppressants are probably more of a precaution so there are no pre-mating accidents. Steve already knows Eddie’s certainty that he won’t be having children, and he has no alpha, so to him, it’s a silly question.

Steve only nods again, looking satisfied enough with the answer. “Well, if that changes, please let me know so I know what days I’ll have to make other arrangements for, okay?”

That sounds like a sensible request. Heats typically take up to a few days to pass, and it would certainly put Steve in a bind if he didn’t have childcare for that long.

“Sure,” Eddie says neutrally when he does finally answer.

Luckily they’re spared any more embarrassing heat talk by the sound of the twins returning, both of them dressed in Hello Kitty pajamas. They look adorable, of course.

“Did you brush your teeth?” Steve asks, turning to look at them. They nod, and his eyes narrow. Eddie smirks down at the dishes he’s almost finished washing. “Did you brush your hair?” He asks, glancing pointedly at Ivy, whose hair very obviously hasn’t been touched.

“Um…” She says, hesitating.

“If you give me a couple minutes, I’ll brush it,” Eddie says from the sink, smiling over at the girls. He glances at Steve then, a little sheepish. “If that’s okay?”

Steve smiles and nods at him. “Yeah, that’s fine with me. Go get your brushes, girls.”

They scurry out of the room once more, and Steve turns to look at Eddie. “I know they can do it on their own,” Eddie offers, feeling a little silly. He rinses the last cup, places it in the drainboard, and grabs the hand towel next to the sink. “I just like doing that sort of thing.”

“That’s okay,” Steve says, his voice soft. “I think it’s sweet. I usually insist that they take good care of their hair, and I can buy all the good products, but actually styling their hair? Forget it. It’s long and curly, and I’ve got no idea what to do with that.”

Eddie grins. “Well, as it turns out, I know a guy, so you’re in luck.”

Steve smiles at him, that same vague, soft thing that makes Eddie’s heart race a little. “Good,” he says. “They’ll be thrilled to have someone who knows what the hell they’re doing.”

The girls come bouncing back in then, and Eddie notices that each of them now have hair ties on their wrists, too. “Can you braid it?” Ivy asks excitedly, holding out her hairbrush first.

Eddie laughs at their enthusiasm, but nods. “Sure. Come on, let’s go sit down. Jasmine, you can watch me braid Ivy’s and she can watch me braid yours, and then you guys can practice on my hair, okay?”

The twins very vocally agree with that, and Eddie gives Steve a little grin as the twins lead him into the living room. Steve follows behind, turning the tv on and searching for a movie while Eddie gets situated on one end of the plush sofa, patting the spot in front of him for Ivy to come sit. They’re on the long sofa against the window, and this way, they’re actually fully facing the tv, not just the coffee table and kitchen, which Eddie thinks works out quite nicely.

“Alright, c’mere, Jazz. You’ve gotta stand over here to see what I’m doing,” Eddie instructs.

Jasmine dutifully comes to his side, and he scooches over as far as he can so she can sit right next to his hip. He talks quietly to them as he takes Ivy’s hair out of the bun, explaining to them that curly hair should be combed while it’s wet, but never brushed while it’s dry unless it’s being braided or something. “You don’t want it to be frizzy, okay?”

They both nod, and Eddie smiles at how raptly they seem to be paying attention. He pretends he doesn’t feel Steve watching them from the armchair next to the sofa, but his presence is there, loud in the silence that radiates from where he sits. He’s turned on some film that Eddie can’t remember the name of, and he’s pretty positive none of them are paying attention to it.

He brushes Ivy’s hair softly, starting at the ends and detangling upwards slowly. At one point he brushes through a hidden tangle, and she yelps. “Oh, I’m sorry, honey,” Eddie says, immediately leaning in and kissing the spot on her head where he’d yanked her hair, petting over it like that’ll ease the sting. “I didn’t even see that tangle. I’m so sorry.”

“‘S okay,” Ivy says, shrugging like it didn’t bother her at all.

“They’re not tender-headed, are they?” Eddie asks, turning to glance at Steve.

Steve waves his hand in a noncommittal “sort-of” gesture. “Eh, not too bad. Jazz is a little more touchy about it, though.”

Eddie nods. He finishes brushing Ivy’s hair, handing her the brush to hold as he starts the braid. “Okay, this is just a regular braid, okay? I’ll show you how to French braid when we get good at the regular one, alright?”

Jasmine nods, watching Eddie section the hair before he starts twisting it. “So you start with three… and you’re just going over the middle, over the middle, over the middle…” Eddie says as he slowly demonstrates. “You just keep doing that all the way down, okay?”

“Okay,” Jasmine says. She leans against Eddie’s side as she watches, and his heart grows warm at the gentle affection. He can already tell he’s getting attached to these kids. God, and it’s only day one.

He finishes Ivy’s hair within a few minutes, letting Jasmine help with the last couple of plaits before tying it off. “Good job, honey. Now, swap places so Ivy can see how to do it.”

Jasmine agrees quickly, and Ivy slides off the sofa, pulling her braid around to look at it with a big smile. “Daddy, look at my braid!” she says excitedly, turning her back to Steve so he can admire it.

“It’s really nice, lovebug. Make sure you tell Eddie thank you, yeah?” Steve says. Eddie glances at him, and his heart skips a beat at the sight of him leaning back in his chair, his ankle crossed over his knee as he watches them. They share a smile, and Eddie pats the space in front of him for Jasmine to occupy.

“Thanks,” Ivy says as she comes to sit beside Eddie, taking Jasmine’s spot. She leans her head against Eddie’s arm, and he can’t help the smile on his face.

“You’re so welcome, sweetness. Now let me show you how you do it.” He brushes Jasmine’s hair very carefully, and luckily this time, there are no accidental tugs. He separates the hair out, just like he did with Ivy’s, and explains the process to her, slowly plaiting it as he talks.

A movement out of the corner of his eye startles him and he glances back to see Steve leaning closer, watching Eddie’s hands to see what he’s doing. When Eddie smiles at him, Steve shrugs sheepishly. “I kind of want to learn, too,” he admits.

Eddie grins. “C’mere, it’s pretty easy.”

To his surprise, Steve does move closer, coming to sit on the arm of the sofa Eddie’s back is up against. He can feel the heat of his thigh pressing against his back, and he pretends that he feels very normal about that.

“So, uh,” he says, stuttering a bit. “You just start with the three sections, and take one on either side and go over the one in the middle.”

“Does it matter which side you start on?” Steve asks.

Eddie shakes his head. “No, I usually start on the right out of habit, but it doesn’t really make a difference.”

He thinks he feels a hand touch his hair briefly, but the pressure is so fleeting that he could have very well imagined it. He imagines Steve taking the hair tie out, running his hands through Eddie’s curls, and it almost makes him squirm. God, he’d love that.

He finishes up Jasmine’s braid the same way he did Ivy’s, letting Ivy take over the last couple of plaits before tying it off.

“Alright, are we ready to practice on our real-life mannequin?” Eddie asks with a grin, shaking Jasmine’s shoulders playfully as he glances over at Ivy. They both nod, and Eddie smiles, patting Jasmine’s back so she’ll scoot down the sofa so he can resettle. “Alright, one on each side, I’ll part my hair and you guys can just freaking - go to town,” he says playfully, reaching up and pulling his hair tie out. He does a rough middle part with his fingers, and then, almost as an afterthought, he parts a small section out of the front, almost like he’s pulling his hair to cut more bangs, and holds it in his hand.

“Remember, three sections, over the middle,” Eddie reminds them as he settles. “Go for it.”

As soon as he gives the go-ahead, he feels them grab for his hair, dividing it the best they can. He peeks up at Steve, who’s still watching him from his perch on the arm of the sofa. He’s got the softest smile on his face, and all Eddie can think is cute, cute, cute.

He waves his little handful of hair at Steve. “C’mere, I saved some for you too.”

Steve looks a little surprised at that. “Oh,” he says, his voice sort of high and light. Eddie halfway expects him to decline, but instead, he moves to sit on the low coffee table, scooting forward so that they’re almost touching knees. He grins at Eddie, or at least Eddie thinks that’s what he’s doing, from what little he can see of him through the forest of hair. “You look a bit like Cousin It,” Steve teases.

Eddie snorts. “You do too, from this side,” he jokes.

Steve is definitely smiling as he reaches out, taking the hair gently out of Eddie’s hand, his fingers brushing his knuckles lightly, accidentally.

“Three sections,” Eddie says softly. His voice sounds sort of funny, and he realizes that he can sort of hear his blood rushing to his head, his heart beating incredibly too fast for the situation they’re in. This is so embarrassing, he thinks vaguely, trying to focus on the twins on either side of him rather than their father, who’s practically staring into his soul not a foot away from his face.

“Over the middle,” Steve says quietly, almost to himself. “Am I doing this right?” He asks, sounding skeptical.

Eddie nearly has to cross his eyes to see. “It looks fine to me,” he says with a little shrug. He glances at his left, then his right. “How are we doing, kiddos?”

“Mine looks funny,” Ivy announces, her voice full of glee, like the idea of making Eddie look ridiculous pleases her greatly.

Eddie rolls his eyes, and Steve has a matching look of fond exasperation. “Then you’re probably not doing something right,” Steve chastises her gently.

“I think mine is right,” Jasmine offers on Eddie’s right side. He tries to glance at the braid she’s creating, but he can’t see much of anything with his hair pulled into all these different directions.

“I’m sure it’s fine, hon. I’m sure they all are.” He smirks underneath his curtain of hair covering his face. “Well, except your dad’s. I don’t know how he’s doing,” he says in a stage whisper.

The girls giggle, but the jibe earns him a little tug from the man in question. And of course, because Eddie is some kind of degenerate heathen, it nearly makes him moan. Good god. “Hey, I’m trying, here,” Steve protests. “And they have more hair than I do, at least I’ve only got a little bit I can mess up.”

Eddie laughs, and hopes it doesn’t sound hoarse. “That just means it should be easier for you!” he taunts.

Steve just shakes his head, tsking, but when he finishes, it actually doesn’t look half bad. He lifts the little plait up so he can see Eddie’s face, grinning at him widely. “Oh, there you are,” he jokes.

“Here I am,” Eddie chirps back. He couldn’t stop smiling if he fucking tried. God this little family is the cutest. He’s so fucking screwed.

The twins finish theirs, showing them off proudly. Jasmine’s looks the best, but Ivy’s attempt definitely has… character. They have a good laugh over it all, and eventually, Steve announces it’s time for bed. The twins complain that they haven’t gotten to watch a movie, but Steve scoffs.

“Sure you did. You got to watch, and star in, Barbie Makeover: Eddie Edition. That’s more than enough entertainment for a night,” he says.

Eddie giggles at that.

“Alright, come on. Time for bed, sleepyheads. School tomorrow, so we’re not staying up late. Let’s go,” Steve says, standing up after giving his attempted braid one last friendly tug. Eddie’s glad his face is partially hidden.

“Can Eddie tuck us in too?” Jasmine asks as she follows Steve down the hall. Eddie follows a bit slower, trying to undo the braids and put his hair back in a more manageable state. Ivy is somewhere in front of him, humming and playing with her own braid.

“Sure,” Steve says. He glances back at Eddie, grinning at the madness of him still untangling that final braid. “It’s a good look, Eddie,” he says with a shit-eating grin.

Eddie tries to return it with something vaguely sarcastic. “Sure,” he mocks. He finally manages to shove all his hair out of his face and back onto his shoulders, but he knows it’s probably frizzy as hell now. Oh well.

Steve flicks the light in the twins’ room on, going over to flick on a night light and grab a book from the short bookcase next to the window. “Alright, let’s read Amelia Bedelia tonight, sound good?”

Ivy and Jasmine agree easily enough, and Eddie sort of hangs back, watching as they each climb into a bed, both of them pulling a stuffed animal close to them. It’s sweet.

“Eddie, come read too,” Ivy says, patting her bed on the other side of where Steve has just sat.

Steve glances at him with a smile, nodding his head to indicate he should do just that. So he does, going to sit down on the opposite side, but then he glances over at Jasmine, her bed close, but still looking alone. Luckily, he doesn’t have to feel bad for long, because then Steve is saying, “C’mere, sweetheart, come sit with us while we read our book.”

Jasmine smiles, sliding out from under her covers and joining them on Ivy’s bed immediately, snuggling in for a bedtime story.

Eddie listens as Steve begins reading, and his eyes flicker between the three of them, cataloging every single shift in their voices and expressions, watching as the twins grow sleepier and sleepier, Steve’s voice becoming lower and lower. It’s almost making Eddie sleepy, and he has to stop himself from leaning against Steve’s back.

Eventually, the twins are asleep, the book is put away, a sleeping Jasmine is returned to her own bed, and the door is pulled almost-shut behind them as they leave the room.

“So, first day?” Steve says quietly as they hesitate in the corridor. “Do you think you’ll be okay to be with them on your own tomorrow, when they get out of school?”

Eddie nods, an easy smile on his face. “Yeah, I think we’re going to be just fine.”

Steve smiles, and Eddie notices some tension visibly leaving his shoulders. “Great. They really like you, Eddie. You really hit it off with them.”

Eddie preens at the praise. “Good. I think they’re great, I can’t imagine having any better kids to nanny for, honestly.” He hesitates before reaching out and touching Steve’s wrist, saying softly, “I think you’re doing a great job with them.”

Steve’s smile twitches, and an emotion deeper than just joy flashes across his face for a split second. He presses his wrist into the touch for a second before pulling away. “Thank you. That… that means a lot.”

“Of course,” Eddie nods. He realizes this is where their conversation needs to end. “Um, goodnight, I guess. I’ll see you in the morning?”

Steve nods. “Yep, bright and early. Get some rest, Eddie.”

“Yeah. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

Eddie sleeps easy that night, easier than he has in years, probably.

[violaceum-vitellina-viridis]

letter to the past, pt. 2

care of: whoever you’ve become now

i hear you’re living in your car.

as a sapien, someone capable of reason and compassion, a member of a society – i hope you have a safe place to park. i hope you have money for gas. i hope you’re able to get back onto your feet, and find a safe place to live.

but as a homo, an ape with teeth and nails and a brain developed to keep me alive and the tigers either outrun or bloodied and still at my feet – i hope they find you in the ravine, the river, wrapped around a tree, as cold and frozen as your black heart always has been.

i miss not thinking about you. i mostly hadn’t, or i mostly didn’t, for the last few years. usually, it was only when you came up because of someone else – whenever someone had an update. on anniversaries. sometimes, when i’d listen to specific songs. but for the most part, over ten years on from that morning you split your way out of my life, i didn’t really think about you.

this year, i’ve thought about you so much, heard your voice in my head so often, it’s made me understand why voluntary lobotomies happened. it’s made me want to find some way to cut my 14 year old self out of me. to find some way to cut you out of me. 

dependent personality disorder with BPD traits, the psychologist tells me. i hear your full name and the ways i’ll never pull your rotten roots out of my veins, no matter how well i weed. 

i don’t have a personality disorder, i know that much. don’t get me wrong, i have a lot of things wrong with me – the autism, the ADHD, the crippling self-esteem problems, the depression, the trauma.

god, the trauma. i’ve got fucking PTSD, and isn’t that just a fucking bitch. you’re at least a quarter of that one, i’m pretty sure. yeah, trauma can’t really be divided out like that, but again: you’re in my fucking head, you heinous goddamn viper.

you always have been, i think. i didn’t think about you, but there are parts of you still woven through me in ways i don’t think i’ll ever be able to unpick. it’s the flinch: the expectations, the eggshell-walk well before there’s any eggs cracked, the way i contort myself smaller, desperate to ensure everyone else is forever above me. 

did you know, back then, what you were doing to me? or was it just second nature? what your mother did, what your brother did, and so what you did? what loved look like, to you, and so it was what you taught me? did you mean to resculpt and crystallize your own wounds in me, or was it just an accident of how young and stupid and vicious we both were?

part of me wants the answers. part of me wants to confront you, now, wherever you are, living in your car with a single friend left to your name. part of me wants to make you look me in the eye and see what you did to me, see the damage you left, the crater in me shaped like your generational trauma. i want it to tear you apart. i want you to suffer for what you’ve done.

i want you to see what you’ve done to me and then know that i still won. i didn’t fucking kill myself. i goddamn lived, you bitch, i lived. i lived, and i got married and have another partner to boot, and i have friends and a job and i’m going to school, and my parents still love me. i have a future, and none of what you did could have taken it from me because i wouldn’t fucking let you. 

not even now, when i hear you whispering in my head, lying to me like you used to. it’s hard and i’m goddamn bad at it, but motherfucker, i didn’t let you win then. i can’t let you win now. 

get absolutely fucked, chelsea. i hope all the bridges you’ve burned are enough to keep you warm this winter.

[dejadoodles-101]

I need to come on here and rant holy shit I’m pissed. I don’t know how many ppl are gonna take the time to read this but if this gets 0 notes within 24 hours I’ll probably delete.

So last night I was scrolling through Facebook and I came across to a post that my friends dad was saying some pretty homophobic shit about using pronouns like they/them and how those pronouns are used for more than two things. Okay yes, that’s true, but people who are non binary are just called that because they don’t feel right about their gender identity. I mean what else would they be called? It/its? Kinda offensive imo (unless if that what they prefer to go by).

Idk man, it just pissed me off. So then I commented on his post saying that it’s not the right place to post that kind of stuff cuz ppl can find it offensive especially if you have friends on your list who are non binary or LGBTQ+ friendly or are a part of the group. And then he goes on and DELETES MY COMMENT. LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! That was just unbelievable to me.

So then earlier today he texted me through messenger and said that he was “not homophobic” and yada yada and that he doesn’t care. And then I responded with how I found that post offensive and that he really shouldn’t be posting that kind of stuff and really just keep all of that to himself and that I don’t tolerate anyone who’s homophobic.

And then (this shit gets real) he goes on and says that the pronouns of they/them implies to more than one and it’s proper English and that we should’ve learned this in elementary school. Yes he was right, but they/them could also just mean for one person who is gender less (I guess I can say). And then. AND FUCKING THEN

HE TELLS ME THAT HE HOPES IM IN COUNSELING AND THAT I SUPPOSEDLY “NEED IT”

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK???????

Why do I need counseling for this kind of topic??? Like I really only need counseling if I’m depressed or have anxiety issues. Or even if I’m feeling s***idal. Which in this case I’m not either any of those. Then I told him to never ever tell me to go to counseling unless if I do NEED IT and that was just rude of him to say something like that.

And I just came across to a post he posted just a little bit ago and that this generation of fucked up (which yes it is) and that if we get offended by what he says then we “need to grow up and get thicker skin.” Okay, maybe just keep your goddamn mouth shut. It’s really not that hard to shut up about your opinions on specific things. You know the saying “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say nothing at all” Yeah, not that hard to do that buddy.

He hasn’t replied to my messages yet but I’ll keep an update for yall (if you even care abt this post). I just really hope his son (my friend) is also not homophobic because I don’t wanna lose any friends right now. And also just to clarify, they’re both rednecks 🙄 so ofc they’re gonna have an opinion about this controversial topic. Unbelievable.

But yeah I take my support on lgbtq+ pretty seriously and if you’re homophobic, don’t come near me. Don’t even come in my vicinity. Simple as that.

[fanby-fckry]

I wonder what it’d look like if Tumblr Dot Com was a literal hellsite…

Source: voxblr.vox #unreality cw #meta post #hellaverse #hazbin hotel #helluva boss

( 6 notes )

📺 voxblr4k ☑️ ☑️ ☑️ Follow

12 hr. ago

You can control moths by giving them lamps

❤️ moth-pimp Follow

22 min. ago

lamps are so good tho

📺 voxblr4k ☑️ ☑️ ☑️ Follow

21 min. ago

I got one

Source: voxblr.vox #Val bb that was too easy #thanks for taking my mind off the whole Alastor thing though

( 52,256 notes )

🪡 niffty-lady 📠 Follow

3 hr. ago

Opening Comms Again!

\(˶ ᴗ ͡ ˶) Hi, Niffty here! Letting all my lovely readers know I’m opening up fic commissions again!

Updated Pricing Chart:

$6 flat for < 1k words

$10 per additional 1k

Payment UP FRONT!!!

It’s not my fault if you get erased before I’m done ¯\(˶ ᴗ ͡ ˶)/¯

Will Write:

Smut

Whump

Kink

Gore

RPF

X Reader

Won’t Write:

Fandoms I’m not in (check my blog)

Anything I find too boring or too gross

🪡 niffty-lady 📠 Follow

1 hr. ago

For people commenting on the price increase: my beta reader found out I was charging and now I have to give him a cut.

#sorry

( 53 notes )

🍸 bar-cat75 Follow

22 hr. ago

Niff roped me into editing her freaky-ass fanfiction again.

I’ve never wanted to claw my own eyes out more than I have tonight.

🍸 bar-cat75 Follow

4 hr. ago

Hold on, what the fuck?

🍸 bar-cat75 Follow

4 hr. ago

I just found her voxblr… she gets paid to write this shit???

And I’m editing it for FREE?

🍸 bar-cat75 Follow

4 hr. ago

Fuck this shit. I’m on strike.

( 6 notes )

🐸 jest-fizzarolli Follow

6 hr. ago

hazbin employee: oh hey, ur back early

redeemed sinner: heaven’s haunted

hazbin employee: what?

redeemed sinner: *loading carmine pistol and glowing* heaven’s haunted

Source: v.vox ↯ #hazbin hotel #jester’s privilege #shitpost #my posts

( 504,370 notes )

🩸 simply-moxxie Follow

9 hr. ago

Does anyone know if @/real-radio-demon is actually the Radio Demon?

My boss follows him, but I’m not convinced…

🎀 moth-gf Follow

7 hr. ago

It’s not him. Alastor doesn’t even know what voxblr is. He won’t touch hellphones with a ten foot pole.

I’ve been trying to get the account taken down for impersonation/misinformation because whoever it is keeps spreading bullshit lies about the hotel.

🩸 simply-moxxie Follow

6 hr. ago

Thanks. I’ll report it, too.

( 3 notes )

📻 real-radio-demon Follow

9 hr. ago

Murder :)

💥 blitz-the-o-is-silent Follow

6 hr. ago

ur my hero

↯ #alastor the radio demon

( 119,594 notes )

🌕 m00nlight-h0wling 🌕 Follow

7 hr. ago

@.real-radio-demon is obviously a fake but its so fucking funny. i hope staff never takes it down.

🐝 queen-bee-lzebub Follow

7 hr. ago

If staff takes it down we fuckin riot!

Hear that @.voxblr4k ?

🐺 666--vortex Follow

7 hr. ago

Bee and Loon vs voxblr staff

Now that’s a fight I’d pay to see

#love my gfs #vox and co wouldn’t stand a chance ↯ #alastor the radio demon

( 81,087 notes )

📻 real-radio-demon Follow

9 hr. ago

Murder :)

📺 voxblr4k ☑️ ☑️ ☑️ Follow

7 hr. ago

Motherfucker!

#Velvette if that’s you I swear to Satan I will end you #can’t even suspend the fucking account #because I’m being threatened by a goddamn deadly sin #fuck my life #rb

( 119,594 notes )

📺 voxblr4k ☑️ ☑️ ☑️ Follow

8 hr. ago

Why tf is Alastor trending?

( 139 notes )

💥 blitz-the-o-is-silent Follow

9 hr. ago

changed my url cuz sum of u fuckers still say my name rong

blitzorodeo –> @.blitz-the-o-is-silent

get it rite assholes

( 0 notes )

🪡 niffty-lady 📠 Follow

12 hr. ago

One of the funniest things about enemies-to-lovers ships is how they’re almost always obsessed with each other. Like if a character actively chooses to interact with another character over and over again instead of simply ignoring them? Throw darts at it all you want, but you still printed out a picture of them to hang on your wall

🕸️ angie-fluffy-bootz Follow

12 hr. ago

"Throw darts at it all you want, but you still printed out a picture of them to hang on your wall." - This is a raw line.

🧁 rad-velvette-cake ☑️ 🧵 Follow

10 hr. ago

@.voxblr4k

📺 voxblr4k ☑️ ☑️ ☑️ Follow

10 hr. ago

Fuck you, Velvette!!! It’s not like that!

Source: voxblr.vox #gonna delete this whole hellsite one day #rb

( 75,350 notes )

⬜️ voxblrverse-meta Follow

11 hr. ago

Fanby’s Fake Dash Masterpost

[crimsun-n-clover]

updates

mickey and her boytoy broke up. i was right. obviously. she was wrong and clouded by infatuation. typical. said with love.

but now i’m teaching her the WAYS OF THE REVENGE PLOT and she’s a wonderful student. holding his shit hostage as trophies of putting up with him. i’m so goddamn proud.

still miss sugar. been thinking about calling her because you know who fuckin else will i have that weird bond with but she’s the one who left me. ball’s in her court and i hate sports. come find me at concessions bitch.

might make her a gift for the holiday i made up for her. not sure if i should leave a note. “hey you know what day it is haha five year anniversary of the time i thought you killed yourself. don’t do it again. k bye -your dyke” like??? would probably stir some shit up. but i’m not sure if i’d be able to stop myself yk? i have a little pile of paper stars like i made for her last christmas, so i’ll probably just give her another jar of them.

slept on the couch all week. love it. cat loves it too. it’s nice not to feel alone.

i love being alone actually. can’t wait to move out and be away from these bitches. but you know. like i’d rather be with my cat and some cartoons then my sad cave of a room. it’s usually a nice cave but i don’t like it much recently. it’s my hiding place and i’m sick of hiding when all i want to do is leave.

mom keeps looking at land to build a house on once we move out of this shithole. she wants me to park my trailer on it. no chance in HELL. “trailer parks are shady blahblah classism” EAT SHIT. the happiest i’ve ever been is in a trailer park. love em. can’t stand being around a bunch of selfish freaks. love being in a tightly knit community of retirees, families, travelers, and people down on their luck. it’s the way we’re supposed to be as humans in my opinion. just the material shit that you need and the things that will make you happy, independence, and community.

dad went to the corner store across from our closest trailer park and mom flipped shit about suspicious characters or whatever. hey. bitch. they’re poor. they don’t wanna kill you theyre here for a pack of winstons and a scratch off. cry about it. you’re self absorbed if you think they could be bothered to fucking stab you in the parking lot of where they get their goddamn doritos.

me and maggie are kinda codependent now. our routine gets thrown off if i don’t pick her up to drive around town and blast queen. full time passenger princess. she didn’t do anything with me yesterday and my metal cds and stuffed dragon (smaug) took over. she was a little jealous i think.

she’s the aziraphale to my crowley now since sugar divorced me. no more “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THATS ILLEGAL” just an “i don’t know them” sad. i miss getting reactions. even better when she’d slap the shit out of me. mag just assumes that any little gift i get her is something i pocketed because i thought she would like it. sugar on the other hand would skin me alive. maggie and i are really close and comfortable and all but i have no interest in her. plus she’s been with her girl for almost a year now.

sugar and i still have joint custody of daisy. shame. as if the little bastard doesn’t love me more (calls me her dad, comes to me when she needs a ride, invites me to her plays and recitals, all that.)

found a cheap old fifth wheel that i’m in love with for 18k one town over. there’s a couple travel trailers i’d take too, because that’s what i want anyway, but the fifth wheel would probably be a better place for my kiddos. more room to lounge, play dnd, and beat the shit out of each other.

my collection for moving is coming along beautifully. handful of vinyls, little painting of ducks i found with mag that i NEEDED, and i just bought a set of bowls with little pumpkins on them. i took all the change in all my little hiding spots and cashed it out at walmart. i now have 56 dollars that my parents can’t track, and i’ll be asking for 20 cash back whenever i can. i don’t want them to notice when i buy things.

i want to make a paypal or something for donations, but i don’t think i could get away with that. i’d need an account that wouldn’t need my address or anything, and no bank information. just something i could get as cash at an atm and hide in my cash hoard (stuffed monkey). i don’t want it to be traceable by my parents. i’m not doing anything sketchy, they just don’t understand how bad of an environment this is for me and lash out when i try to reason with them.

223 days until ronnie comes home. 223 days until my vinyls can be played. 223 days until my pumpkin bowls go to use. 223 days until my duck painting gets hung. 223 days until i can bake all the goddamn pies i want for all the little bastards i can handle.

[uglypastels]

okay getting to the other stuff now that i’ve said my piece about the heart-wrenching cliffhanger you’re going to keep me up at night with lmao

- he was scared of losing her and was just gonna go be sad in his room by himself🥺

- even though he’s a good pirate (can’t believe i’m a pirate apologist now) he’s killed people before but what sits heaviest with him is that he’s hurt her!!! stfu that’s so pure

- as soon as he said to just call him eddie… oh babeyyy i knew shit was abt to go down in a sinful way. but no! poor eddie was blue balled, reader had a terrifying dream, and us (actual) readers were on the edge of our fucking seat

- the crew said they’d miss her!!

- hellfire shot first, right? (i kept getting interrupted trying to read that part so it’s fuzzy to me) WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE THE RED TAIL SANK I NEED THIS BACKSTORY OH MY GOD

CAN WE TALK ABT THE SMUT JFC. cause you rly fucking delivered on that

- ‘Really? The princess had thought of me, a filthy pirate?’ ‘I’m not a princess.’ You rolled your eyes playfully. ‘Out of all the things to dispute, you argue my words of affection?’

- ^fucking swooning over these lines

- ‘So you can be good for me.’

- ^this one too

- him admitting he lost his control due to jealousy!!! idec if it’s toxic (only cause this isn’t real life) jealous eddie is so hot

- as a tit (wo)man myself, i have to give my thanks for including boob stuff *chefs kiss*

more comments of after the smut cause i apparently have a million fucking thoughts abt this chapter i’m sorry😭

- they comforted each other after their nightmares that is so goddamn sweet im SICK

- ‘I had honesty considered just locking you away and keeping you forever, but I am a man of my word, am I not?’ HE SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT HER THERE FOREVER. TURNED TF AROUND AND NEVER LOOKED BACK

- reader writing the ransom note and changing the whole story to try to spare eddie/hellfire was so smart oh my god u rly had me fooled that they weren’t gonna get in any trouble and be seen as fucking heroes or smth

- the comment abt him not having carpet fr cracked me up

- he read her mind and shut the idea of staying with him down:(( that son of a bitch (still love him tho)

- and he didn’t tie her hands tight so she could start swinging at any moment!! (c o m e o n reader…we’re fucking waiting! punch ur dad in the face!)

- ‘governor, i see we meet again’ again!!! AGAIN?!!?!

amazing fucking chapter. ur updates always make me so excited, and i’m eagerly waiting for more<333

Dont mind me just giddily giggling over all of this 🤭 but its really hard for me to reply bc i am just rereading your comments and kicking my feet with joy. You really know how to butter me up lmao and i wish i could write rn but i'll be at the beach the whole day so i will have to do with daydreams and the notes app- which, btw, do not ever again apologise for sharing your thoughts!! I as a professional attention whore absolutely thrive off of this so please do not stop

Well, ya know the title of the fic, and it is eddie so you know he's a sweetiepie at heart. He's just been through stuff (and yessss we will find out what. All questions will be answered i hope (unless people have questions to things i did not even consider but so far i dont think that has been the case???).

And listen, with [fan]fiction, there is no such thing as red flags 🫤🙄 only black ones with skulls on them 🏴‍☠️ and toxicity is what makes everything that extra bit spicy.

I am a bit sorry for blueballing yall at the beginning, but if i hadnt then we would not have gotten the rest of the chapter as it is now?? And that counts for something suuurely

plus, i tried to hold off on the smut as long as i could bc i really really do not like writing it, as much as i am an avid lover of it, which brings me to my next point of i really appreciate all the comments on the smut bc i honestly dont know what in doing most times and it was probably the main reason why it took so long to write this chapter because i just freeze up at the mention of genitalia lmao. My brain just becomes that cymbal monkey.

Hehe i was really proud of that pirate/princess line. And the carpet one. Just gotta break up the heaviness sometimes ya know. And you just know these two have that kind of "deprication as love language" affair. Is that a even a thing? Well i made it a thing. Especially since its basically canon for this au that eddie has a major degradation kink.

In a perfect world, they would have been welcomed as heroes, but in a perfect world they also would never have kidnapped her so 🫠

And yes Again 😌

[rottenbrainstuff]

Well I have had an adventure today

This weekend I tried updating my piece of shit desktop Mac and I think I bricked it, tried everything I could google, let it boot all night long and it’s still not rebooting.

I went to order a new computer, saw that the new Macs are absolute pieces of shit, ONE FUCKING QUARTER!!!! the memory of this old machine here, and only two usb ports. I’m paying almost the same amount of money to get less.

So I thought this would be the turning point for me, I’m finally going to stop buying apple bullshit and I’m going to get a PC. That’s it. Got a friend on the phone and asked him to help me find one, cause I don’t know anything at all about PCs, and discovered that… pcs nowadays cost the same amount and are basically the same. I could pay about $30 more and get a few more usb ports.

Ordered the fucking mac, because if it’s all the same damned price anyways I might as well get the shit that I’m already familiar with and will work with the other stuff I already have and will ship faster. Had a honest to god temper tantrum about the state of computers and how much things have changed even just in the last five years, invited my friend out with me for early supper to bitch about things because fuck my diet when I’m cranky

I complained to him about everything my old computer was doing and why I thought something was wrong with it - extremely slow times reading or writing to and from external drives, extremely long time opening applications, extremely long time restarting after a reboot. I honest to god thought something was wrong with it which led to its demise this weekend, some kind of data read write error - but I learned possibly this is just how new computers are after a little while. He told me he has a PC that does all the exact same stuff. Possibly my old computer isn’t bricked at all: if I just let it boot for a week maybe it will eventually sort its shit out. Fffffffuck this shit.

And apparently it’s the goddamned Oscars. All of a sudden the tvs got super loud at the pub I was at and I looked up and saw red carpet stuff. Banshees of Inisherin has been nominated for a ton of things, I am so fucking proud of it. It’s up against the Fabelmans in just about every single category though.

Fuck computers, I can not believe the state of things right now. I can’t BELIEVE the bullshit they are selling right now. I’m going to pop my brand new Banshees disc on and see what deleted scenes came with the movie.

[mildew-mop]

I fucking hate Planned Parenthood. They are so fucking disorganized. The only fucking healthcare I can even somewhat reliably access is through planned parenthood for my testosterone - and they’re a fucking mess.

They somehow constantly do the opposite of update my information, and instead of sending mail to my current fucking address, or calling my goddamn phone number, they always contact old shit and are surprised when I am unable to make new appointments.

I have ADHD, and every time I have to deal with refilling my prescription; it makes me infinitely less motivated to keep trying. I almost ALWAYS have to go off of T in between refills, except for a handful of times they didn’t fuck up.

Most recently, they sent appointment-related mail to my mom. EVEN THOUGH I FUCKING UPDATED SHIT SO THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE HAD THAT ADDRESS FOR MONTHS.

Earlier this year, I broke down crying, a nurse asked me if I was ok. I was charged $15 for an “emotional assessment.”

One time (a few months ago) I spent a month calling them every few days to fucking schedule an appointment, and in each and every phone call, I told them I had a new number and clearly stated my name and why I was calling. ONLY TO FIND OUT THEY HAD BEEN CALLING ME BACK AT THE OLD NUMBER I DIDN’T HAVE ACCESS TO!

The blood techs at planned parenthood don’t know how to draw blood. Since 2020, I’ve been to 3 different planned parenthoods (cause moving). I have to keep getting my blood drawn cause I’m on T. I think like maybe 2x have the techs at planned parenthood been able to draw my blood. It really pisses me off how fucking obnoxious they are about it. It got to the point where I regularly have to say “hey, if you aren’t 100% you can draw my blood, just write me a referral so I can go to LabCorp” and they fucking get all defensive, stab both my arms, get another tech to do the same thing, THEN they write me a fucking referral, cause they can’t do shit.

Planned parenthood phone calls go straight to voicemail regardless of day, time, holiday, whatever. You have to fucking rely on them calling you back at a convenient time.

When I finally took them up on their offer for therapy through them (they’d been pushing it since day one) I got this shitty-ass therapist who doesn’t fucking listen and I ended up stopping going to her (it was virtual but still) cause I had no way to contact her. Not that I would want to. Like most therapists, she just kinda sits there when you talk about your trauma. Typical listens to you talk about your horrific childhood then goes “hey you said you have a pet? tell me more about that” instead of offering advice type of therapist.

I already have to deal with being stuck on my parents’ absolutely garbage and overpriced insurance. I have to deal with ADHD and generally not liking to make phone calls. I fucking hate this shit. I cannot access any other healthcare currently (no one is accepting new patients and even if they were, I couldn’t afford them), and I want to at least stay on my goddamn hormones and the only place that lets me fucking do that wants it to be as hard as possible.

[autismnation]

@kaceywithak

i figured it would be easier to make a post so here are some hangster fic recs! all of these fics are on ao3 but i’ll also provide links.

this world is gonna break your heart by youlookgood

this one’s kinda sad but also i love the ending and idc that this scene didn’t happen in canon,, it’s canon to me now! basically, hangman is feeling awful about himself and begs rooster not to die

in light of a candle (like something new) by youlookgood

this is a bradley birthday fic!!! i loved it sm and istg sereshaw are so cute in it <3

i’ll take my time (i’m not a forward thinker) by thegeckbros

I CANT STRESS TO YOU HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS FIC!! ITS SO CUTE ARE YOU KIDDING ME. basically the entire dagger squad end up doing secret santa and bradley gets jake. but the rules are that the person you have can’t guess that you’re their secret santa so bradley has to hang out with jake to find out what he likes 🤭 ALSO THE GIFT BRADLEY GIVES HIM IS SO SWEET I ALMOST STARTED CRYING

why don’t you speak by hidgensbf

THIS FIC IS MWAH CHEFS KISS 😘🤌❤️ I LOVED IT SO MUCH !!! it’s basically the 5+1 format with 5 times jake worried about bradley & 1 time he voiced those concerns. it’s post canon bc obviously rooster’s gonna have some ptsd. i loved this fic sm and ik i’m supposed to be giving you recs but i love these types of fics so if you know any fics where jake takes care of bradley or vice versa PLEASE PLEASE tell me 🫶

a little goes a long way by hidgensbf

THIS FIC IS PURE PERFECTION!! it’s basically a celebrity fake dating au and LET ME TELL YOU ITS DONE SO WELL!! it’s a mix of comedy and cuteness like istg the groupchats had me crying laughing– everyone is literally betting on jake & bradley to get together. also chapter 9 is so fucking cute i was squealing so hard. the entire fic had me giggling and kicking my legs ngl

in plain sight by hidgensbf

ok all of hidgensbf’s fics are on here but i cant help it theyre all so good. this is a collection of one shots based on the previous fic

like father like son by hidgensbf

THIS FIC IS SO GOOD. it’s kinda angsty and sad but like thats bc jake is angsty and sad,,,but (and like i said earlier, i love these fics) bradley takes care of him bc jake is like so shitfaced drunk in this

and i never knew i could feel that much (and that’s why i loved you) by happypuppys

this is the first ever hangster fic i read and IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT!!! its so 💕💞💖💘💗💓 bradley’s in the hospital after the mission & jake is there when he wakes up and it’s just very, very cute

something’s bound to begin by youlookgood

THIS IS SO CUTE ARE YOU KIDDING ME. it’s post-canon and from hangman’s perspective. it’s a slight bit angsty but mostly just bc jake feels unloved– buttt then it’s the cutest shit ever with bradley.

back to basics (‘cause they’re bigger than they seem) by stories of my life

this fic has a little bit of sexual content (there’s no smut it’s just mentioned) fyi, but it’s super goddamn cute!! basically, jake is guarded and he’s trying to be independent even though he’s exhausted but bradley surprises him by showing up and taking care of him!! <3

can’t sleep without you by local_troubled_writer

this fic is the cutest thing ever !! it’s so fluffy i love it sm <33

let it snow by anadorablack

this is so cute omfg!! literally perfect for christmas. bradley & jake are neighbours but they get snowed in for xmas so jake invites bradley to his to keep warm and whilst they hang out they develop feelings for each other!!

ok that’s all!! i might update this fic as i read more because hahaha i have a hyperfixation & there’s so many good fics out there that i just know i need to share with other people once i read them

i���ve read like 30k words of hangster fics today this is insane what has this hyperfixation done to me