crimsun-n-clover

[crimsun-n-clover]

everyone who made the doordash driver app the way it is will burn in hell for all eternity and face my wrath

tell me why i’m in trouble for a restaurant being closed on christmas eve. fuck y’all fr

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god i fucking hate christmas

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just came so hard i cried and when i was trying to catch my breath i thought of that grunkle stunkle wins the funkle bunkle we wish you a merry christmas hersheys commercial parody video and now i’m absolutely hysterical help me

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changed my sheets without threatening to kill myself #girl

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had a dream i met a cool girl (internet micro celebrity musician that wormed her way into my dream??) and we hit it off. we both had the same keychain and got each others references and had a lot of friends in common we could talk about FUCKKK ME MAN

[crimsun-n-clover]

i’ve been miserable all day fuckin crying for no reason and not even having fun playing bass

but then my parents left and i made coffee and jerked off and now i’m actually god. is this really all it takes to cure a migraine and a deep sense of worthlessness

[crimsun-n-clover]

wild information has come to light

elise thought i didn’t like her.

GIRL. i desired you carnally and stayed up late texting you what do you MEAN

i’m just autistic i swear

[crimsun-n-clover]

i don’t think 2025 is gonna be my year but maybe i can move out in 2026 and be a fuckin PERSON

just me and my bass, vinyls, comic books, and cat. no shitty old conservatives to talk down to me and i can actually use the KITCHEN. holy fuck i’d kill to be able to use the kitchen all the time. just bake and make coffee whenever i want?? i’m SICK of eating like shit because i can’t cook with my mothers ingredients and rely almost entirely on smuggling food back to my room.

bring all my shit out of hiding in the closet and maggie’s house. organize things how i want because it’s MY SPACE. not have to look at shitty farmhouse hobby lobby decor with teal accents everywhere.

i think it’ll make me a better person if i’m not scared all the time

[crimsun-n-clover]

thee most Me thing happened today

me n liz were at walmart looking at vibrators and the radio was playing their little endorsements thingy and it’s “hi i’m patrick from fall out boy and you’re listening to walmart radio” and immediately i’m like AYO and she just. stares at me. sorry

[crimsun-n-clover]

had a dream i was touring with a band and we got up to shenanigans and i was happy what if i killed myself

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shoutout to my parents. how the fuck have they managed to be neglectful and overbearing at the same time

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she’s alive we’re fine

i have a genuine fear that lizzie’s dead

on friday her and her boyfriend broke up again and she asked if i knew anyone who could babysit her baby raccoon because “i have to go, i will feel so guilty if i leave and he dies” and by the time i got back to her she had already found someone

and then she said “i’m sorry, i love you” and posted “with love, goodbye” with a zoomed out picture of a note on her cf story

since then she won’t answer my calls or texts and none of our mutual friends have heard from her. the only one i told the whole story to was john, but everyone else i’m trying to keep calm. i’m so scared.

i went to her house last night and no one was there. i was out of town when it happened and a full day later they were all gone. that or no one opened the door. that makes me think they’re at the hospital or something? i really don’t know. id like to think that her brother would reach out to me and her other friends if she was actually gone.

i’m manic right now and beyond worried

if she’s actually done it i don’t know what i’ll do

[crimsun-n-clover]

todays supposed to be her day off of work. i can’t stop thinking about that. she’s supposed to be available today and usually we do something on sundays. just last week we went from bar to bar seeing bands on saturday night. that was the last time i saw her.

we got guava monsters and swedish fish and we stopped by walmart so i could get new shoes so we could stay out longer. there were three bands playing and we went out on the dance floor for the goth one. we befriended the bassist of a local metal band and bought t shirts. she dug a beer can souvenir out of the trash because it had a band logo on it. we listened to mcr and talked about our childhoods.

logically i know someone would’ve found her by now. she missed a day of work and i think she did it at home. she’s either dead or in a hospital or something somewhere. but deep in my mind is a fear that she’s just rotting somewhere. her and her version of mickey weren’t talking. her boyfriend blocked her. john had no idea. her mom was gonna kick her out of the house soon. it seems it’s just me and her brother, but i don’t know him. i’ll try to find him though. i need to know if she’s alive.

what if i have to tell johnny that she’s dead?

i have a genuine fear that lizzie’s dead

on friday her and her boyfriend broke up again and she asked if i knew anyone who could babysit her baby raccoon because “i have to go, i will feel so guilty if i leave and he dies” and by the time i got back to her she had already found someone

and then she said “i’m sorry, i love you” and posted “with love, goodbye” with a zoomed out picture of a note on her cf story

since then she won’t answer my calls or texts and none of our mutual friends have heard from her. the only one i told the whole story to was john, but everyone else i’m trying to keep calm. i’m so scared.

i went to her house last night and no one was there. i was out of town when it happened and a full day later they were all gone. that or no one opened the door. that makes me think they’re at the hospital or something? i really don’t know. id like to think that her brother would reach out to me and her other friends if she was actually gone.

i’m manic right now and beyond worried

if she’s actually done it i don’t know what i’ll do

[crimsun-n-clover]

i have a genuine fear that lizzie’s dead

on friday her and her boyfriend broke up again and she asked if i knew anyone who could babysit her baby raccoon because “i have to go, i will feel so guilty if i leave and he dies” and by the time i got back to her she had already found someone

and then she said “i’m sorry, i love you” and posted “with love, goodbye” with a zoomed out picture of a note on her cf story

since then she won’t answer my calls or texts and none of our mutual friends have heard from her. the only one i told the whole story to was john, but everyone else i’m trying to keep calm. i’m so scared.

i went to her house last night and no one was there. i was out of town when it happened and a full day later they were all gone. that or no one opened the door. that makes me think they’re at the hospital or something? i really don’t know. id like to think that her brother would reach out to me and her other friends if she was actually gone.

i’m manic right now and beyond worried

if she’s actually done it i don’t know what i’ll do

[crimsun-n-clover]

fuckkk i’m going to my hometown in georgia tomorrow and i’m staying until sunday

i don’t wanna see you motherfuckers i wanna have another good day with mickey :(

i HATE IT HERE

leaving my fucking vibrator at home who even am i rn

bringing my laptop though so i can be on tumblr more :3

[crimsun-n-clover]

i have reverse seasonal depression i’ve been doing so much better since the time change

i’m going outside bc the sun isn’t there to make my head hurt and my skin crawl and the cold makes me all sleepy and comfortable n shit i’m always nicer when im the soft flavor of sleepy so im literally just a sweet little guy rn

a sweet little guy that goes on WALKS n shit man like im acting like a normal person because the sun fucked off im so happy

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once again in a parking lot in between orders camped the fuck out listening to the smiths you WISH you were me

except the part where i had to use the Car Toothbrush because my mouth had a bad texture and i haven’t eaten all day