crimsun-n-clover

[crimsun-n-clover]

fuckkk i’m going to my hometown in georgia tomorrow and i’m staying until sunday

i don’t wanna see you motherfuckers i wanna have another good day with mickey :(

i HATE IT HERE

leaving my fucking vibrator at home who even am i rn

bringing my laptop though so i can be on tumblr more :3

[crimsun-n-clover]

i have reverse seasonal depression i’ve been doing so much better since the time change

i’m going outside bc the sun isn’t there to make my head hurt and my skin crawl and the cold makes me all sleepy and comfortable n shit i’m always nicer when im the soft flavor of sleepy so im literally just a sweet little guy rn

a sweet little guy that goes on WALKS n shit man like im acting like a normal person because the sun fucked off im so happy

[crimsun-n-clover]

once again in a parking lot in between orders camped the fuck out listening to the smiths you WISH you were me

except the part where i had to use the Car Toothbrush because my mouth had a bad texture and i haven’t eaten all day

[crimsun-n-clover]

and through it all. there was watermelon monster and cigarettes and jerking off

[crimsun-n-clover]

and through it all. there was watermelon monster and cigarettes and jerking off

[crimsun-n-clover]

when you’re there all i can do is stare you

and watch your loud expressions and your little mannerisms and your big eyes and your long artist fingers and your toned armed and your soft lips and your pretty smile and

i know you like it how it is but

i need you to look at me

not so you see me like i see you

i wouldn’t ask that of anyone

just so i can have a break

because i can’t make eye contact

i can’t look at you if you look at me

i want you to look at me so i can look away

you should look at me

you could see me if you want?

yeah. i think that would be nice

[crimsun-n-clover]

guess who got banned from ebay

i’ll go fuck myself

[crimsun-n-clover]

how the fuck am i restless and apathetic at the same time

like. I NEED TO DO SOMETHING. but sigh. nothing is worth doing

get a grip bitch

[crimsun-n-clover]

if i don’t get rid of this restless fucking energy the next time you see me will be on the news

[crimsun-n-clover]

today i felt like listening to the smiths which is already a huge red fucking flag but i just got done with work and i don’t even wanna drive? that’s pretty much my favorite thing in the world. instead i’m sitting in the mall parking lot aching like i’m fucking miserable but i don’t think i am? i’m like. yearning again. but idk for what. sitting here sighing and having my chest all tight like a fuckin maiden who can’t have her love or whatever. got my feet out the window so i can lay down and properly lament. if i wasn’t so miserable this would be pretty nice. empty mall parking lot at night with the smiths? fuck yes. but alas

[crimsun-n-clover]

fucking myself to sleep is getting old i’m RAW dude just old yeller my ass before i draw blood

can aripiprazole increase your sex drive what the fuck is wrong with me i think i’m in heat

[crimsun-n-clover]

got a ticket :3 my mom was mad i just got one but i didn’t have enough money and ticketmaster kept crashing

my fuckinf father is home i just wanna go into the kitchen and eat an apple and listen to music out loud and browse tumblr on my gay little computer and wait for the mcr tickets to go on sale but NO

[crimsun-n-clover]

can aripiprazole increase your sex drive what the fuck is wrong with me i think i’m in heat

[crimsun-n-clover]

my fuckinf father is home i just wanna go into the kitchen and eat an apple and listen to music out loud and browse tumblr on my gay little computer and wait for the mcr tickets to go on sale but NO

[crimsun-n-clover]

ough they already have the christmas coke cans out what if this was my last straw

[crimsun-n-clover]

i get the weirdest cravings. yk when soil is really healthy and it has that smell to it?? yeah i need to eat that right fucking now and also dish soap

[crimsun-n-clover]

sometimes i remember i’m genuinely fucking crazy.

“i love that melody you just showed me” thanks i heard it when i was trying to fall asleep as an auditory hallucination and byproduct of my subconscious mind

“what’s wrong you’re acting weird” there’s shadow people on the ceiling man what am i supposed to say