#and I’m a little overwhelmed in terms of learning how to use them

[greyhavensking]

I just discovered Master Duel as a game and I’m ecstatic to find out I can finally make the Elemental Hero deck of my dreams a reality

[ifwebefriends]

My thoughts during “The Sign” [SPOILERS!!!!!]

ID in ALT

More thoughts under the cut

So I think most of us can agree that this is the best episode of Bluey so far. It was so emotional and satisfying in ways that are kinda new for Bluey. It answered so many questions while giving us a few new ones. I’ve been waiting for this episode for months and it did not disappoint in any way.

This is just a Chekov’s firing squad of an episode. As in a lot of stuff that was set up in earlier episodes all pay off in this episode. I kinda understand why people love soap operas now lol. I will say that this episode was a tad overwhelming for me in the best way possible. As in I had to pause and rewind every 30 seconds or so so I could emotionally process what was happening before moving forward (but that’s a me thing). There was just so much going on and I’m happy about that.

Now onto individual thoughts about specific things:

The callback to Baby Race (“you took your first steps in that house!”) really got to me because Baby Race was the first episode of Bluey that I watched and it immediately made me fall in love with it so it just got to me.

When Chilli said “Frisky and I came up here as teenagers to…um…think,” my mind started racing immediately with “what the FUCK happened at the Lookout?” “Who hurt Frisky and/or Chilli?” And I’m just so curious about what made Chilli say that line like that but we’ll probably never know what happened.

So yeah that scene at the end when the music was playing and Bandit ripped the sign out of the ground and Chilli tackled him to the ground ABSOLUTELY CHANGED my brain chemistry y’all. I can’t articulate my feelings any more than that.

I know some people were upset that Brandy ended up getting pregnant but I thought it was great for her! I’m happy for her! And I think that even though she got what she wanted in the end doesn’t negate the feelings she had about her infertility earlier. But I think we’re all wondering who the father is and I don’t know if the show really needs to answer that.

The whole message of “we’ll see” in terms of if something is good or bad is such a mature message that I never really thought of like that so I will be taking that philosophy forward in life. Congratulations Bluey, you managed to teach a 22-year-old childless person something new and insightful about life that I don’t think I’ve learned from another show.

I want to know more about what Bob was going through and feeling and why he went to India, but again, we’ll probably never know.

I just love how the wedding photos were beautiful but imperfect. Like of course we’re not perfect and nothing will ever be perfect but it’s beautiful and worth remembering anyway.

So many little jokes and moments were so funny in a mature way (I.e. “are we allowed to do that?” And Nana thinking there was about to be a baby announcement) were just so funny and memorable.

I think some people would say it’s a cop-out to end up not selling the house after building it up for 2 episodes but I don’t know, I think it works. I think Bluey and Bingo learned a valuable lesson and Bandit (and Chilli kinda) learned it’s not always about making their kids lives “perfect” in their eyes. Also I’m just personally glad they didn’t end up selling the house and I also kinda like that it wasn’t entirely their choice to keep it.

On a more serious note I think this episode has some interesting commentary on like gender roles and gender relations in straight relationships. In this episode Chilli and Frisky (both women) have to deal with their male significant others pressuring them to move with them far away from what they know and love. In the end they don’t end up moving and the men didn’t seem to have like malicious or selfish intent with it, they were just kinda basing their choices off their jobs instead of what’s best emotionally for their loved ones. But I think it’s interesting to have this conflict where gender is kinda brought up in a way (“because your husband is making you”). It kinda plays into the traditional idea of like men are the breadwinners and the family has to move with them regardless of what they actually want. And this episode kinda like deconstructs that and says “no, it’s not always about the job or money, it’s also sometimes about connections and emotional attachment.” And I’m not saying that you should never move or whatever, but really weigh your options. I just thought that it was interesting that this episode kinda touched on that.

So yeah that’s kinda the main thoughts I had on this episode if you made it this far thank you for reading my rambles and have a good one!

[alwaysanundertone]

Day 7 :daddy kink | Draco Malfoy

smut

TW: spanking, daddy/bbg dinamic (kind of, nothing extra), aftercare

You were reading on your bed, way past your normal bed time. Your roommates were gone for the weekend, visiting their parents, but since yours didn’t seem to care about you, you were all alone. Not that you were upset about it, you got used to it with the time, you just were sad to be all alone. And yes, maybe you were a bit torn over the fact that your own parents didn’t want your company, but you had come to terms with it, somehow.

The only fun part about all of this was that, with Draco being away too, you could break all of his stupid rules and enjoy your night, just how you liked it. You’ve pleasured yourself and now you could skip the boring part, sleeping, altogether, because no one was there to tell you that you behaved badly.

That was, until you heard a knock on your door, interrupting your reading time. You didn’t expect anyone, so you got up, wand in hand, and got to the door. Once you opened it, here stood your boyfriend.

“Draco?”

He smiled down at you. “Surprise, princess. Got home early, wanted to surprise you and- wait a minute, you don’t have your ‘I just got up’ look” Your initial excitement died down quickly.

“Uhm”

He took a once over of you, coming up with a disapproving look. “Let’s see how many rules you’ve broken”

The dynamic suddenly shifted, you looked up at him with puppy eyes. “Daddy, sorry, didn’t mean to-“

He shook his head, manhandling you to the side, it only took one look at your bed to spot the rose toy. “Have you drunk water? When was the last time you’ve eaten something” Suddenly, it came down to you how much you messed up: you decided to be honest.

“I haven’t eaten today, but I’ve drunk water”

“Baby, I’m kind of disappointed” Your eyes suddenly got watery, and he really couldn’t resist you when you cried, enveloping you in a warm embrace. “Tell me what happened”

You sniffed. “I just felt really lonely, no one’s at Hogwarts. Didn’t mean to disappoint you” You dived deep in between his arms, hugging him as close to you as possible; the idea of having let down the only person who cared about you unbearable. “I’m sorry”

“I knew you’d get lonely, but this doesn’t justify you breaking my rules and not looking after yourself. I know it’s not easy, baby girl, but you have to try” He shifted you, so now you were on his lap, your legs close to your chest. You stayed like this for a while, until he decided to interrupt this quiet moment.

“You know I have to punish you, right?” You nodded against his chest. “Do you want to be punished now or later?”

“Now” You felt him smile against the crown of your head.

“Perfect, on my lap then, ass up” You obeyed. “Now love, if it gets too much, you say red and I’ll stop. I will spank you, and you will count them out loud. Do you understand?”

You nodded. “Yes daddy”

He bent down, kissing one of your exposed ass cheeks, before slapping it. The first one wasn’t harsh, making you flinch just a little.

“One”

“Good girl.”

The next five came in rapid succession, making you whimper while you counted. He stopped for a bit, massaging the red spot. “Love, can you tell me why am I punishing you?”

You sniffled, nuzzling his thigh. “Because I disobeyed you”

He made a disapproving sound. “No, love, it’s not that. I’m not punishing you because you didn’t listen to me. I’m punishing you because you have to learn to take care of yourself, okay? You can’t stop looking after yourself just because I’m not around to check on you darling. Understood? Daddy only wants what’s best for you, I don’t like punishing you, but if I can change the way you treat yourself, I will do it”

You started crying silently. Truth was, you never had someone who cared about you like Draco did, sometimes his love and care got a bit overwhelming. He knew you were crying, but he didn’t mention it, knowing you didn’t like to be called out on it.

He delivered five more spanks in rapid succession, you held your breath through it all, counting them. He softly caressed your butt, squeezing it slightly.

“Love, you did a great job at handling your punishment, I think that’s enough.” He positioned you on the bed, the sudden loss of contact feeling like a stab in the chest.

“Daddy, please” You sobbed, burying your head in your pillow. You knew, rationally, that he wasn’t leaving you, but you were too deep in sub space to acknowledge it.

“Daddy’s here, baby. I’m never going to leave you, ever. Next time, you will be coming with me to the manor”

Tears kept coming down your eyes while he rubbed the soothing balm on the reddened skin. He pressed a kiss on the crown of your head.

“I’m so proud of you, baby. You’re always so good for me, I love you so much, you have no idea” He cradled your face in his hands, you tried to cover your tear-streaked cheeks, but he made a disapproving sound. “No hiding, princess. You’re emotions are valid, I won’t judge you, ever. You’re so beautiful” He pecked your lips.

“Now, I think we should go sleeping, okay?” You nodded, you were too deep in subspace to even think about protesting.

Once he lied down on the bed, he positioned you right on top of him, you both fell in a deep slumber in a matter of minutes.

tags: @sxmnc @peterparkerspersonalplaything @riaaavm @iamawkwardandshy @eeviee4 @mysterialee @famouscrusadeluminary @el1smells @rishofkf @mooonyxoxo @happymaeday @yourfiendlyneighbourspiderman @whyshouldihaveanam3 @amazing-bobinsky @barnesandmetal @just-here-for-ff @sammyreid @remussbitch

[theambitiouswoman]

how do you deal with shame? bc i suffered with severe depression and im just getting my own apartment at 30 years old. i still have no degree, the job i go to in ashamed everyday even though it pays my bills and take care of my kids because i see everyone who i went to high school with graduated and some got their masters. im ashamed of what i been through and ashamed of where im in at my life and im carrying deep deep depression and shame because i feel like im not enough and embarrassed of where im at because i know i could’ve did more with my life.

I really want to answer this because I also remember feeling behind at one point and I definitely remember my friends comparing themselves to me because we didn’t make the same life decisions.

Just want to warn you I’m going to give you some compassion combined with a little tough love.

I’m really, REALLY sorry you’re feeling this way. No matter how different your life looks to others, it’s your life. It’s easy to compare yourself to people who seem to have it all figured out, but their paths aren’t yours. Just because you are seeing someone during the good times in their lives, doesn’t mean it will always be that way or that it won’t be for you when the time is right.

I remember feeling so much judgment because all my friends were married, had serious boyfriends, or kids. Back then, I’d leave our dinners in tears, feeling like a failure. Looking back now, the pressure I felt seems almost comical, but it was painful at the time. For context, I’ve been engaged more than once, yet I wasn’t ready to settle. Now, many of those women are divorced and starting over, often without financial independence, while I’m at a high point in my life and considering settling down on my own terms.

The lesson here is that life isn’t a race or a checklist. It’s not linear, and it doesn’t have to follow a timeline. Some people hit their stride at 20, others at 30, 40, or beyond—and that’s okay. Life is meant to be experienced, not rushed. The lessons we learn along the way shape us. Society’s timelines and standards are just that—standards. You don’t have to follow them to live a fulfilling, meaningful life.

Depression is incredibly hard to deal with, and it’s not something I take lightly. But since you’re committed to working on yourself, it’s so important to remind yourself to keep pushing forward. That said, I think you’re being way too hard on yourself right now. Who wouldn’t feel overwhelmed? But let’s take a step back—you have your own apartment for the first time, which is incredible! You have a job that allows you to provide for your kids, putting food on the table and showing up as a parent who loves them deeply. How lucky are they to have you?

From my perspective, you’re incredibly strong. You’ve faced depression and still found the courage to keep building yourself up. That’s no small feat. Don’t let negative thoughts get in your way—practice reframing them. Instead of focusing on what you feel is lacking, focus on how far you’ve come and the amazing things you’re doing right now. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.

You may not like where your life is now, but you have to realize that it is under your control. If you want to change your life now, today, you can. Your life will start to change when you yourself commit to change. And that starts with your thoughts. Work on your perspective. Don’t beat yourself up for what could have happened or didn’t happen because you’re wasting even more time for absolutely nothing. You feel like you’ve wasted years, why would you want to continue wasting any more?

Shame often stems from the story we tell ourselves, so try to shift that narrative. You wouldn’t shame your friends for struggling; you’d remind them of their resilience. Focus on small wins— change your perspective. Start focusing on showing gratitude for the things you do have and what you’ve overcome. Gratitude for everything and anything. Gratitude attracts miracles and abundance. I know this sounds dumb or unrealistic, but it’s true. Besides, it doesn’t hurt to try.

I’m very proud of you and you can do so much more, anything you want if you just had a little bit of faith in yourself. Your worth isn’t defined by what you’ve been through or what you’ve accomplished. It’s defined by the fact that you’re here, trying and pushing forward. That alone makes you more than enough.

[fun-k-board]

AAAA YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!! :3333 could I maybe request CG Storm and CG Rogue? Maybe them and a little reader who’s a bit on the fussy/ tantrum-y side?

Thank you!!!!! ^^ (u probably know who this is but I’m too scared to come off anon 😭)

X-MEN '97 - Little reader who's fussy and tends to have tantrums

SFW INTERACTION ONLY!! AGE REGRESSION IS NOT A KINK!!

Note(s): HEHHE I KNOW!! It's alright tbh I'm terrified of coming off anon too (⁠´⁠-⁠﹏⁠-⁠`⁠；⁠)

Powered through writing this because you're cool as hell and I like you! 💪 I don't and didn't really have the most idk 'attentive' family, so I'm not the best judge on how to take care of kids or people in a kids mindset, I may be a little bad at writing for caregivers and age regression in general because of this.

ANNA MARIE DARKHÖLME / ROGUE

'Hey, hey now sugah, let's calm down, you don't want to go in time out and I don't want to send ya. Explain to me why you don't like the food, I'm perfectly alright gettin' you somethin' different, there ain't no need to get upset.'

Anna can sometimes tell when you're about to have a tantrum or become more fussy than usual, even if you tend to take a while to throw a full fit, she'll watch you carefully and try to prevent one from fully forming. Gently kissing you on the forehead and brushing back your hair, asking what's wrong with a worried look on her face.

The moment you start yelling, kicking, or even crying, maybe after ignoring her question, she finds it hard not to just fold and give you what you want, after all, you're just so cute. However, her sense of responsibility and care for you overwhelms her need to coddle you.

Anna will say your name firmly, getting you to pay attention to her, and only her. She'll get a tissue for you and wipe your tears away, and ask firmly what you're sad or angry about and if you could possibly explain it to her.

If you can't verbally, for whatever reason, she'll give you the opportunity to write it on paper or she'll play a guessing game with you, the guessing game is only for when you're extremely upset and need cheering up though.

If you explain, in whatever format you need to, that you're upset because of an issue that's causing you distress, maybe food triggered sensory issues, someone was mean to you, etc, then she'll let you off the hook because you clearly didn't mean to cause any harm and you were just acting out.

Rogue will give you a bit of a talking to, telling you that crying and throwing things makes it difficult to help, but that's about it. Given it's not your fault she isn't actually too mad, she just wants you to understand that she won't know how to help if you're kicking and screaming.

If, however, your outburst was because of a silly reason, say you don't like the colour crayons and you throw them at her, she won't be as quick to accept it and move on.

She's still very sympathetic and won't ever raise her voice at you, even when you've done something especially terrible for no apparent reason.

Anna is very lenient and her 'punishments' usually just include a minute or so sitting in the corner, maybe withholding drawing from you for the day, but she always makes sure to explain in detail why you're being punished and it's usually only a last resort.

Rogue is very sweet even when she's being stern, her eyes can't help but go soft and her tone slips from that firm scolding one she uses when you're being bad, to a sweet almost coo-like baby voice.

Afterwards she comforts you like there's no tomorrow, telling you that she didn't want to hurt your feelings by taking away something or sending you to the corner, but you just need to learn some manners and how to handle yourself.

If you're fussy in terms of only liking clothes of a certain colour, food cut or made in a certain way, or things being done in a particular order, she absolutely doesn't mind doing these things for you! When it comes to cooking Rogue tends to ask for Gambit's help, she's not the worst cook in the world, but she can't do it like Remy can.

When it comes to removing parts of food, maybe you like to remove the crusts of bread and have them separate or not at all, she'll happily cut them off for you and maybe even eat the crusts while talking to you.

Sometimes she matches clothes with you! After all, 'If you like these clothes, they must be the best ones they got!' She says with a grin.

ORORO MUNROE / STORM

'My child, it's important to remember your manners when speaking to those around you. I am not angry, but you must tell me what is wrong if I am to correct my mistake or you are able to grow.'

The moment she notices you starting to throw a tantrum, which is fairly fast even if your signs are just a deep frown, asking you if everythings alright and most of the time avoiding any tantrums before they begin.

However, sometimes you refuse to tell her what's wrong, perhaps you go straight to throwing toys or food, pouting, yelling, in replying she will simply hold a gentle hand on your shoulder and kindly repeat her question on what the matter is. Her tone is gentle and her face is one of genuine concern.

Like Rogue, if you're in distress because of something that's not your fault, or maybe you're just overwhelmed, she will never hold it against you at all. If you're comfortable with it and it's something you need to calm down, Storm will pick you up and give you a tight hug, if not, she's alright with just holding a hand on your shoulder, or even removing her hand and only speaking to you.

Ororo will get on one knee, bending down to speak to you in a hushed whisper, she'll tell you that it's all okay, that she'll help you and make it better, give you different food, turn off the lights, whatever you need, she can give it to you.

However, if you're just being fussy to perhaps get a reaction out of her, she'll raise her brow in an almost amused action, as if she finds your attempts to be aggravating as cute as a cat nibbling on its owner's hand. If you're throwing a fit just to throw one, she will definitely tell you sternly that you cannot do such things, at least not in her care.

I don't think that Storm is the type to use the corner or naughty step as a punishment, after all, she has her own fear of tight, dark places, you may fear loneliness, or abandonment, she does not wish her own troubles onto a mind like yours.

Instead, she talks to you, more importantly, she'll help you figure out what you did wrong, how to improve next time, and reflect on her own actions to see if the trouble was caused by a mistake on her part. It won't be an in depth conversation, she tends to use stuffed animals as an aid to show you an outsiders perspective.

If you're struggling with saying your words out loud, never fear, she has tons of paper and crayons, or pencils, pen, markers, etc if that's what you prefer, just for you! She keeps them in her room for whenever you regress and want to keep near her when doing so.

Ororo will advise you to draw your feelings, maybe even write a letter if that's more what you're comfortable with. She doesn't mind bad spelling or handwriting, she's quite good at deciphering even the most atrociously unintelligible handwriting.

At most, and only if you've been really bad, she'll lead you to your room, or hers, just to make sure you don't get embarrassed and act out further. Storm will tell you what you did wrong as firmly as she can so that you'll understand. It's only a light scolding though, she never ever raises her voice when you're around unless you need or want her to.

If she ever does raise her voice and it startles or frightens you, she will apologise, regardless of if you've done something wrong or not. It's never her intention to harm you, you've entrusted her to care for you and she will do anything in her power to achieve that goal.

If your fussiness is about certain clothes, textures, toys, etc, she absolutely doesn't mind exclusively getting you certain clothes or toys, and she won't be angry at all if you throw a tantrum over texture or taste, because she's fully aware it can be distressing to have an unfavourable texture of clothing of food.

Ororo will always ask questions about something before she gets it for you, after a while she knows pretty much all of your likes and dislikes.

She's a great cook and can switch the taste or texture in something with just a flick of her wrist, something she doesn't mind doing, especially if the food she's already making is something that causes a lot of stress.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 2

(easily the most chaotic commentary i've done so far)

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

CHAPTER TWO

okay so this is the first of two laurent pov chapters we ever get, and it’s an intense torture/interrogation scene. this works SO well with the “laurent is in a different genre” bit. like the reader is not only getting his perspective, but the entire vibe just shifts. damen is a passing thought. this is a psychological thriller now, full stop, for this chapter. for the first time in the series, a first-time reader gets an idea that laurent is living a totally different flavor of reality than they’ve been reading. it’s genius to put this here and now, right before the reveal, as we’re scrambling to put everything together and hurting emotionally on damen’s behalf. like, fuck the emotions and romance, we’re doing a gritty torture scene. because that’s just how it is for laurent on this bitch of an earth, as a result of his own ridiculous choices and in general

Laurent woke slowly, in dim light, to the sensation of restriction, his hands tied behind his back. Throbbing at the base of his skull let him know he had been hit over the head. Something was also inconveniently and intrusively wrong with his shoulder. It was dislocated.

oh you know i’m annotating every little detail of this man’s internal narrative. for two scenes i get to be inside laurent’s brain and i am taking every opportunity to document things about his way of thinking that are outside of damen's perception. this is cs pacat allowing me to learn things about the way laurent's mind works, that can re-contextualize the entire rest of the series. i am calling these details, which i would not be able to ascertain if not for a single chapter being from laurent's pov, “cool laurent facts.”

cool laurent fact #1: laurent orients himself in a new situation first and foremost based on the current state of his own person—physical, mental, emotional—and his surroundings. from that, he uses inductive reasoning to understand what is going on.

inductive reasoning is a method of thought that typically goes from specific and limited observation to general conclusion. from what we know of laurent, the idea of him using inductive reasoning on a regular basis makes a lot of sense. laurent might be "mr. probably" who does random insane shit, but the truth is that laurent thinks through almost all of his random insane shit before he does it. the exceptions to this are almost always narratively significant, and they happen when laurent's emotions overwhelm his ability to reason things through at all.

so, like, in this quote: "throbbing at the base of his skull let him know he had been hit over the head." the observation is the physical pain, specifically at the base of his skull. the conclusion is that he was hit in the head. it's a reasonable general conclusion, even if it could potentially be correct.

then we have "something was also inconveniently and intrusively wrong with his shoulder. it was dislocated." observation: shoulder is not working as intended, and in fact is so dysfunctional that it's intrusive. conclusion: it's dislocated.

the entire time, as laurent is thinking these things, he isn't actually DOING anything. and this, i think, is what tends to drive damen (and the attentive reader) insane, because with the exception of these alternate pov chapters, we don't actually get to live in laurent's head. while we know that laurent is thinking things through almost all of the time, our confusion comes with the fact that we can't even begin to guess WHAT laurent is thinking. and since laurent thinks before he acts, we are usually forced to reverse-engineer how the fuck he got to the conclusion AFTER the resulting action has actually been taken. and that is exactly why my annotations about laurent are the way they are in the first place.

so what happens when laurent gets it wrong? because laurent's observations are ultimately limited, and he prefers to come to a conclusion before acting, any flawed conclusions he makes can lead to immense miscalculations. to someone like damen, these miscalculations are both frustrating and avoidable, because damen is much more likely to use deductive reasoning instead.

deductive reasoning uses pre-existing general premises to come to specific conclusions. we see it a lot in damen's pov, in which the things he "knows" about the world are what often inform the action he takes. these aren't personal and specific ideas, but extant generalized theories and conclusions, which are then either proven correct or incorrect once tested. in general, this means that damen tends to act first and think second—the opposite of laurent. it's pretty obvious how this can be to damen's detriment, especially since we read the series almost entirely in his pov. a good overarching example of his deductive reasoning is the way his perspective on akielion slavery shifts throughout the series. he starts out in book 1 believing that there is honor in submission, slavery is a pact, slaves are consenting, and all slave owners uphold standards of "decency" just as he himself does. but then as damen interacts more with the world of slaves and pets, and is made a slave himself, he realizes that those conclusions were incorrect. then he assumes a new conclusion—slavery is an irredeemable institution—and acts based on that instead.

the strength of damen's deductive reasoning, compared to laurent's inductive reasoning, is the adaptability it allows. damen gets shit done when it needs to be done. he might get it done in a way that's messy or artless, lacking all of the pertinent details to do it perfectly, but his ability to apply a theory to a situation and then play it out is a great counterpoint to laurent's general approach, in which things are overthought so thoroughly that action is not taken in a timely or responsive manner. like, we literally see that in the wall grate scene in prince's gambit, which is then referenced again while they're discussing war strategy.

of course, this isn't to say that laurent's inductive reasoning isn't also adaptable. he can adapt to a situation by thinking really hard about it, drawing a conclusion, and then making his move. it's just distinctively different to read that kind of internal process from him as a pov character, compared to damen's typical way of thinking. it's part of this genre shift, i think, because it's so stressful and meticulous. this is thriller/crime/mystery genre thinking, not romance novel or war/action novel thinking. we have gone from a pov character who is like 70% impulse-driven, to a character who in his right mind wouldn't even consider following an impulse unless it was thoroughly thought through, at which point it would fail to be an impulse at all. damen is built to be a romantic lead and action hero. i can't really think of literary examples because i don't read a lot of romance and action books, but idk, disney's hercules or adora from she-ra come to mind. meanwhile laurent is built to be in a gillian flynn or [insert more niche thriller authors i enjoy] novel.

all that is to say, this isn't damen's mind anymore, and we know it from the first few sentences of the chapter. if this chapter was being experienced by damen instead, i think the opening would go something like this: "damen woke to the sensation of restriction and immediately fought against his restraints. he was not able to free himself. he also realized, in his attempt and failure to free himself, that his shoulder was dislocated."

it seems like a minor difference, and maybe it is. but i find it fun to contrast the narrative perspectives of these two fascinating characters, and i like making my own observations and conclusions. i started my annotations back in books 1 and 2 with mostly inductive reasoning, making theories from my observations, but farther into book 2 and definitely in book 3 i can now use deductive reasoning to draw conclusions about characters and events using pre-existing theories. if i'm wrong, i adjust the theory, and that adjusted theory becomes the basis through which i interpret future events. and so on. the two types of thought work beautifully together, and ideally we should all be able to use both. that's part of why damen and laurent are able to help each other grow so much as people and leaders—they're balancing each other out by mutual exposure to opposing ways of thinking.

also, another little note on this specific passage: i love laurent's snarky dismissive attitude towards his own pain, and the hint of dissociation from his physical form. i would guess that laurent thinks in a similar way about pleasurable physical sensations, too: "something was inconveniently and distractingly happening with his body. he was aroused." fuckin weirdo <3

As his lashes fluttered and his body stirred, he became hazily aware of a stale odour, and a chilled temperature that suggested that he was underground. His intellect made increasing sense of this: there had been an ambush, he was underground, and since his body didn’t feel as if it had been transported for days, that meant— He opened his eyes and met the flat-nosed stare of Govart.

i love when i predict/analyze something in detail and then it’s immediately proven correct by the following lines. laurent going on this whole inductive mind journey before realizing that govart is LITERALLY IN HIS FACE is sooooo laurent, and so NOT damen. like forget what i said before, if this was damen's pov, the chapter would simply start with "govart stared at damen."

again, this is a great way to immediately let the reader know that things are going to be different from this pov. yes yes yes yes

Panic spiked his pulse, an involuntary reaction, his blood beating against the inside of his skin like it was trapped. Very carefully, he made himself do nothing.

yeah i have a feeling the sex scenes from laurent’s pov would read a lot like this too

The cell itself was about twelve feet square, and had an entrance of bars but no windows. Beyond the door there was a flickering stone passageway. The flickering came from a torch on that side of the bars, not from the fact that he had been hit over the head. There was nothing inside the cell except the chair he was tied to.

he’s just like me fr, both in real life and how i figure things out while writing/playing d&d (“what are the environmental features, and what do they imply?” “what items can be used, and how?” etc.)

He was hit by the memory of what had happened to his men, and put that, with effort, out of his mind.

cool laurent fact #2: it takes effort for him to put aside his concern for the well-being of people he cares about. this is not what most people would assume, based on how he acts and speaks

He understood that he faced his death, before which would come a long, painful interval.

observation: he’s in a prison cell with govart specifically conclusion: he’s going to be killed, but also tortured for a whiiiiile first because govart hates him so bad

maybe that's redundant, but i just appreciate how his pov really is written like an analysis within itself. it's great. he's an observer of his own story, as well as a participant. damen doesn't usually think from such a detached angle

A ludicrous boyish hope flared that someone would come to help him, and, carefully, he extinguished it.

cool laurent fact #3: sometimes, he hopes. it takes effort for him to extinguish hope within himself (“carefully”), but he believes that doing so is necessary in order to assess circumstances like a rational adult. but still, he does hope.

in just this one sentence, we are told so much. we now know that laurent believes that hope is inherently irrational and childish, which absolutely tracks with the other things we know about his character. we can see it in his choices throughout the series so far, and we can understand exactly why he believes this based on his backstory.

Since the age of thirteen, there had been no rescuer, for his brother was dead.

as i was saying, about laurent's backstory,

also. damen exists. he literally threw a sword at a guy trying to kill you in the last book. laurent you are so smart and you are so stupid and i can’t imagine your pov being written any other way

He wondered if it was going to be possible to salvage some dignity in this situation, and cancelled that thought as soon as it came. This was not going to be dignified.

in almost every instance where someone has been given the opportunity to assault or objectify laurent in a sexual context, they’ve taken it. damen is basically the only living exception.

deduction: laurent cannot get out of this situation without being assaulted, so there's no point in trying to salvage his dignity

BUT like, unless i am completely missing something entirely between the lines, govart doesn't even attempt to sexually assault laurent in this scene. maybe that's not what laurent means here, in terms of dignity? curious what people think about this. because like on first read especially, my immediate thought when this scene started was "oh fuck am i going to have to sit through a scene of laurent being sexually assaulted", since everyone (including govart) talks so much about wanting a piece of him. so i guess it's like, was laurent thinking about that here, or was it just me? curious what others think too

also "cancelled that thought" is just slightly anachronistic, and PERFECT. love it.

He thought that if things got very bad, it was within his capabilities to precipitate the end. Govart would not be difficult to provoke into lethal violence. At all.

“if i’m going to die, i’d rather be in control of the dying. and i know i could totally piss this dude off into killing me before he means to do so, and then i would technically win. ha-ha.”

i love the slight hint of childish antagonism here, with the “at all.” like laurent needs to take the moment to roast govart in his own head, while considering the logistics of his own imminent death. it is so funny to me that we finally get this scene, where laurent gets to be in the genre he's been living for the past two books, but no one actually relevant to the story gets to witness it for themselves. laurent is moonlighting in this scene as a character in a book that isn't this book at all. he's taking a break from the romance and realism-based war strategy shit to be an out-of-his-depths thriller protagonist taking on antagonists that should absolutely be able to defeat him immediately, but somehow managing to survive by absurd unconventional means AND being snarky about it. damen has seen hints of this side of laurent, and paid attention, and so have we as the reader. but this is just… full-intensity. the narrative is allowing him to have it, and allowing us to see him have it. it’s like we’ve been only watching the a-plots of phineas and ferb episodes the whole time, and assumed that perry is probably doing some cool stuff in the b-plot, and gotten a few glimpses via dramatic irony… but now we actually get to see the perry b-plot, and it's fucking awesome. but the a-plot cast will still never know.

The chair, made of heavy oak, appeared to have been dragged in for his benefit, which was civilised or sinister, depending on how one looked at it.

yeah this is the internal monologue of a person who grew up reading books more than talking to people. just being witty in the prose of his own brain for funsies

He thought that Auguste would not be afraid, being alone and vulnerable to a man who planned to kill him; it should not trouble his younger brother.

of course there’s the damen of it all, but i also like how this sentence suggests just how often laurent really does think about auguste. looking back at past scenes and imagining laurent having auguste constantly on the mind really adds a new dimension of tragedy to his existence, and further depth to his initially hateful and eventually conflicting feelings for damen. we could have assumed this without seeing laurent's pov, but it's nice to see hints in the text.

It was harder to let go of the battle, to leave his plans at their midway point, to accept that the deadline had come and gone, and that whatever now happened on the border, he would not be a part of it.

yeah forget about my entire breakdown last chapter bc i didn’t want to assume laurent meant to be there and end up disappointed. he meant to be there. good job laurent

The Akielon slave would (of course) assume treachery on the part of the Veretian forces, after which he would launch some sort of noble and suicidal attack at Charcy that he would probably win, against ridiculous odds.

1) laurent refusing to use damen’s name in HIS OWN HEAD is so fucking funny

2) “(of course)” cool laurent fact #3: he thinks everyone is probably going to assume the worst of him the majority of the time, including damen. cool laurent fact #4: he thinks in parentheticals, which makes sense

3) i like how in the same sentence where laurent is trying to distance himself from damen with the name thing, he also admits that 1) he knows damen is a good and noble enough person to fight, and 2) he (laurent) knows that damen is going to win, and is therefore not overly concerned. which means he would be concerned if he thought damen couldn’t win. probably for the best tbh laurent has a lot on his plate already

4) talk about ridiculous odds, laurent, you literally kill someone with a chair in this chapter

One on one: he must think about what he could practically achieve.

me trying to do The Tasks with adhd

Fighting free of his bonds at this moment would accomplish, precisely, nothing. He told himself that: once; then again, to quell a deep, basic urge to struggle.

i like how this is put. i can imagine laurent talking to himself in his head throughout a lot of the series. he separates his base human urges from his rational mind and then uses the latter to placate the former. as long as he can manage to keep reason in control of emotion, this is effective. but when he can’t manage it… lol

also “accomplish, precisely, nothing” is great. he didn’t need to throw the “precisely” in there, it probably just made him feel wittier. even inside his own head to an audience of himself (that he knows of), laurent has to quip

‘We’re alone,’ Govart said. ‘Just you and me. Look around. Take a good look. There’s no way out. Not even I have a key. They come to open the cell when I’m done with you. What do you have to say to that?’ ‘How’s your shoulder?’ said Laurent.

i don’t want to be redundant, but i really am just delighted by this genre dissonance. i’m trying to read more of the romance genre, that's what brought me to capri, but THIS is the shit i'm used to.

The blow rocked him back. When he lifted his head, he enjoyed the look he had provoked on Govart’s face, as he had enjoyed, for the same reason—if a bit masochistically—the blow.

cool laurent fact #5: if the bit is good enough he’ll take the subsequent pain. hell, he’ll even enjoy it

god i want to read a thriller novel with laurent as the protagonist SO BAD. i think if pacat ever writes capri again she should do that, and have damen like. kidnapped. it’s not indulgent romance fluff like summer palace, it’s laurent doing badass chaotic hero shit trying to find his fucking wife

He forced himself to keep his voice steady.

i wonder how many times he thought this throughout the series. probably many

‘I think you have one piece of leverage over a very powerful man. I think whatever it is you have on him, it’s not going to last forever.’

context, as i recall: govart knows that the regent had his brother killed, i think? and he has the evidence to substantiate that claim if it was ever made. laurent pieces this together with guion, somehow, offscreen at the end of this chapter. or maybe he finds out later from loyse? but i feel like laurent is more proactive than that

‘Want me to tell you why you’re here? Because I asked him for you. He gives me what I want. He gives me whatever I want. Even his untouchable nephew.’

again, i'm kinda shocked that govart doesn’t actually try to do anything sexual with laurent here. i mean i'm glad that he doesn't, but also this quote makes it sound like that’s why govart asked in the first place. maybe it was just for violent revenge though, and humiliation?

also, like, how exactly did laurent get here? sounds like his forces were expected and overpowered at the fort, right? and he just kinda… got handed off to govart, under the regent’s blessing and guion’s supervision?

'At some point one of us will dispatch the other.’ He made himself speak without undue emotion, just a mild remark on the facts.

probably not surviving this, nbd (but still actively putting effort into regulating his emotions so he can survive)

digging into this more: i personally have this thing where my response to seemingly insurmountable odds, especially emotional ones, tends to be “once i’ve survived this, how will i explain how i did it?”

this whole approach is demonstrated really well in the masterpiece of a doctor who episode “heaven sent." it's first and foremost a meditation on persistence and grief, which are two themes very relevant to laurent's overall story. laurent’s approach to withstanding torture in this chapter, as well as his manner of survival after auguste's death, remind me a lot of "heaven sent" and my own personal methodology. fuck it, here are some laurent-coded "heaven sent" quotes, as a treat:

"The first rule of being interrogated is that you are the only irreplaceable person in the torture chamber. The room is yours, so work it. If they're going to threaten you with death, show them who's boss. Die faster."

"Rule one of dying: don’t. Rule two: slow down. You’ve got the rest of your life. The faster you think, the slower it will pass. Concentrate. Assume you’re going to survive. Always assume that. Imagine you’ve already survived. There’s a storeroom in your mind. Lock the door and think. This is my storeroom. I always imagine that I’m [here]… showing off. Telling you how I escaped—making you laugh. That’s what I’m doing right now. I am falling. I’m dying. And I’m going to explain to you how I survived. Can’t wait to hear what I say."

"I'm going to get out of here and find whoever put me here in the first place. And whatever they're trying to do, I'm going to stop it. Which might take a little while, so do you want me to tell you a story? The Brothers Grimm… according to them, there was this emperor, and he asks this shepherd's boy, ‘How many seconds in eternity?’ And the shepherd's boy says, "There's this mountain of pure diamond. It takes an hour to climb it, and an hour to go around it. Every hundred years, a little bird comes and sharpens its beak on the diamond mountain. And when the entire mountain is chiseled away, the first second of eternity will have passed!’ You must think that's a hell of a long time… personally, I think that's a hell of a bird."

it's the small victories, right? laurent can't exactly conceive of an eternity of grief like the endlessly-regenerating doctor, but those seven long years without auguste in vere must have felt like a torture chamber of their own. and, of course, there's this actual torture chamber, which laurent escapes thanks to his insane reckless persistence. what i mean to say is, laurent of vere is a hell of a bird :) i'm glad we get to spend some time in his head.

'If you kill me, whatever it is that you have on him isn’t going to matter. It will just be you and him, and he’ll be free to disappear you into a dark cell too.’ Govart smiled, slowly. ‘He said you’d say that.’

girl that doesn’t make it untrue are you stupid (yes)

‘He said, “The only way to make sure my nephew doesn’t talk his way free is to cut his tongue out.”’ As he spoke, Govart pulled out a knife. The room around Laurent greyed; his whole attention narrowed, his thoughts attenuating.

yeah, this WOULD be the thing that scares him most. last time when he was gagged, it was technically part of his plan. this would be basically a death sentence, because laurent knows that his words are what keep him alive

‘Except that you want to hear it,’ said Laurent, because this was only beginning, and it was a long, winding, bloody road till the end. ‘You want to hear all of it. Every last broken syllable. It’s the one thing my uncle never understood about you.’ ‘Yeah? What’s that?’ ‘You always wanted to be on the other side of the door,’ said Laurent. ‘And now you are.’

“you are a messy bitch who lives for drama. and i AM the drama.”

basically, laurent buys himself more time 1) being alive and 2) keeping his tongue by essentially volunteering to have information tortured out of him. this is actually a pretty classic laurent move—remember all the way back in book 1 annotations, when i brought up this quote from sharp objects by gillian flynn?

"Sometimes if you let people do things to you, you’re really doing it to them… know what I mean? If someone wants to do fucked-up things to you, and you let them, you’re making them more fucked up. Then you have the control. As long as you don’t go crazy."

By the end of the first hour (though it felt longer), he was in quite a lot of pain, and was losing touch with how much, if at all, he was delaying or controlling what was happening.

you know for all of laurent’s comments about damen valuing honor and fair play and Doing The Right Thing, he really has no idea that damen would see this happening and immediately murder everyone involved in getting laurent into this situation

His tongue was intact, because the knife was in his shoulder. He had accounted that a victory, when it had happened. You had to take pleasure in small victories. The hilt of the knife protruded at an odd angle. It was in his right shoulder, already dislocated, so that breathing was now painful. Victories.

love this use of a previous laurent-ism. god he’s made for this kind of situation why is this man in a romance novel (i’m happy he’s in a romance novel if that’s not clear, he shouldn’t have to be in these situations even if it’s entertaining and compelling and badass. being loved is harder for laurent to process than being tortured and that means he’s in the right genre to truly challenge his character into growth and catharsis)

He had come this far, he had caused his uncle some small consternation, had checked him, once or twice, forced him to remake his plans. Had not made it easy.

these sound an awful lot like dying words. the fact that this is the consolation prize laurent gives himself upon imminent death—that he’s won against his uncle a few times—almost feels like a subversion of a heroic martyr. i’m not big on martyrdom, so i almost think it’s more satisfying for laurent to die telling himself he’s Won against someone who’s hurt him, than telling himself he’s dying to save people who love him and still want him around. admittedly he does have that kind of martyr moment later, when he hands himself over at the end of book 3, but... does he even fully mean to die then? i know he has loyse’s testimony in his back pocket. is his intention still to survive, even then, or is he just satisfied that loyse could potentially bring down the regent once he's gone? idk, it just doesn't feel quite right for laurent just to give up his life completely, even if that's how damen interprets it. even then, i think he'd still have the intention to somehow survive, or at least Win against his enemies. laurent isn’t dying for anyone’s sins—if he’s going to die, he’s taking the sinners down with him, and probably counts himself among them.

i'll make sure to revisit this when the time comes.

His only advantage was that he had managed to free his left hand from its bonds.

personal tangent but this reminds me of the time my level 1 sorcerer was arrested in dungeons and dragons and she shoved her hand up her sleeve and replaced it with a mage hand, so it looked like she was handcuffed for her trial but actually wasn’t. and then she used the real hand to flip off the council running the trial and escape. she and laurent would get along

Because it was impossible to hear anything, he reasoned—or had reasoned, when more detached—that whoever had put him in here with Govart would return with a wheelbarrow and sack to take him out, and that this would happen at a prearranged time, since there was no way for Govart to signal. He therefore had a single goal, like moving towards a retreating mirage: to reach that point alive.

not him waiting for his corpse uber… and someone pushing the wheelbarrow who he can turn against govart. i like how laurent seems to have already made this plan, but this is the first time we hear of it. even in his pov we aren’t getting every single thing in his head

Guion’s voice. ‘This is taking too long.’

BOOOO TOMATO TOMATO

His voice was a little hoarser than it had been starting out; his response to pain had been conventional.

“his response to pain had been conventional” god he is so fucking funny.

laurent, rolling his eyes as he swirls the glass of water he’s using to swallow the maximum safe dose of ibuprofen: “my physical human reaction to torture is just so… banal”

Laurent closed his eyes, wrapped his unsteady left hand around the hilt, and pulled the knife out of his shoulder.

i’m listening to an instrumental music playlist right now and an acoustic cover of lady gaga and ariana grande’s “rain on me” came on the second laurent ripped out the knife

The hilt of the knife was slippery.

love how this doesn’t say “with blood,” because it doesn’t have to. also i took a quick break from reading and now there is an instrumental cover of “death of a bachelor” by panic! at the disco playing, which is rather appropriate for this scene

As, with his ruined right arm, Laurent swung the chair. The heavy oak hit Govart in the ear, with the sound of a mallet striking a wooden ball. Govart staggered and went down.

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Laurent focused all his remaining strength on the task of reaching the barred door and placing himself on the other side of it, dragging it closed behind him and turning the key that was still in the lock. Govart didn’t get up.

laurent, facing certain death and defeat, used the chair he had been tied to and tortured in to murder and imprison his two captors respectively. kind of a shame he doesn’t end up killing the regent with a bed for similar poetic justice (not really, i think the regent’s death is perfect)

In the stillness that followed, Laurent found his way from the bars, to the open corridor, to the opposite wall, which he slid down, finding at the midway point that there was a wooden bench, which took his weight. He had expected the floor.

i love this image so much—wait is this. it is. ladies and gentlemen and others, this is LAURENT LEAN #12!!!!

He did laugh then, a breathless sound, with the sweet, cool feel of the stone at his back. His head lolled.

snarky action hero laurent i love you so very much. sorry about the torture tho

‘Guion,’ said Laurent, without opening his eyes. ‘You had me tied up and locked in a room with Govart. Do you think name-calling will hurt my feelings?’

see previous comment

‘Let me out!’ The words ricocheted off the walls. ‘I tried that,’ said Laurent, calmly. Guion said, ‘I’ll give you anything you want.’ ‘I tried that too,’ said Laurent. ‘I don’t like to think of myself as predictable. But apparently I cycle through all the usual responses. Shall I tell you what you’re going to do when I stick the knife in for the first time?’

it took me a second to understand what’s being said here. i got briefly stuck on “i tried that,” but looking back on previous dialogue and the rest of what laurent says here, i think it’s something like this:

guion: let me out laurent: yeah i asked for that too when faced with imprisonment and torture guion: i’ll give you what you want laurent: i also tried that. damn if you’re saying all the same stuff i did, maybe i’m more of a basic bitch than i thought. well hey if we’re the same i can tell you how you’ll react when i torture you, just how i reacted when govart tortured me (i am threatening you)

‘You know, I wanted a weapon,’ said Laurent. ‘I wasn’t expecting one to walk into my cell.’

okay now he’s just congratulating himself. earned

‘You’re a dead man when you walk out of here. Your Akielon allies aren’t going to help you. You left them to die like rats in a trap at Charcy. They’ll hunt you down,’ said Guion, ‘and kill you.’ ‘Yes, I’m aware that I have missed my rendezvous,’ said Laurent.

every line he says is a banger. this is the verbal equivalent of wearing sunglasses and walking away from an explosion

‘There was a man I was supposed to meet. He’s got all these ideas about honour and fair play, and he tries to keep me from doing the wrong thing. But he’s not here right now. Unfortunately for you.’

THIS LINE FUCKS

and i love that this is how he regards damen. i love that he calls him a man, and not a slave. i love that it's "he TRIES to keep me from doing the wrong thing," because laurent would never give damen the satisfaction of completely taking control (except during sex, but we'll talk about that later). overall, i love how the entire phrasing is just the tiniest bit admiring and endeared, even though laurent is simultaneously insulting damen's integrity (a quality that we know DAMN WELL laurent admires deeply).

and hey!! cool laurent fact #6: he is totally aware of how down bad damen is, and the way damen has willingly taken the role of his (laurent’s) evil impulse control. and laurent doesn’t seem to particularly hate that, or even resist it, at this point in the series. this makes early to mid book 3 even funnier, in which laurent antagonizes damen and his friends (mostly nik) cartoonishly while KNOWING that damen honors him and feels guilty for lying, so therefore tolerates and even defends laurent's petty bullshit at his own and also nik's expense. just because damen cares about fair play, doesn't mean that his ideas about fairness are like… rational. or sane. and laurent knows that damen's thoughts upon his return and dramatic reveal are probably going to be along the lines of "i lied to laurent and also i murdered his brother, so it's technically not wrong for him to lash out."

i'm looking forward to the future of their dynamic, without those giant lies and power imbalances between them. i don't even mind the "angst" of laurent being a petty bitch in the next few chapters, because we know he's being a stubborn idiot and it can only last so long before he breaks, and he doesn't have power over damen to actually abuse. while laurent previously held socially-reinforced authority over damen, they're about to find themselves on even footing. therefore it IS fair play for them to be freaks to each other, and i think a part of laurent is looking forward to that too. like he'll probably figure out his shit with damen, maybe, eventually. he knows damen will try his best to make laurent do the right thing, and laurent will most likely let him win. but he is also going to be a dramatic bitch about it first. as long as he survives.

needless to say, guion does not stand a chance.

‘Isn’t there? I wonder how my uncle is going to react when he finds out that you killed Govart and helped me to escape.’ And then, in the same dreamy voice, ‘Do you think he’ll hurt your family?’ Guion’s hands were fists, like he still had them wrapped around bars. ‘I didn’t help you escape.’ ‘Didn’t you? I don’t know how these rumours get started.’

>:)

Laurent regarded him through the bars. He was aware of the return of his critical faculties, in place of which up to now had been the tenacious adherence to a single idea. ‘Here’s what has become painfully clear. My uncle instructed that if you captured me, you were to let Govart have me, which was a tactical blunder, but my uncle had his hands tied, thanks to his private arrangement with Govart. Or maybe he just liked the idea. You agreed to do his bidding. ‘Torturing the heir to death wasn’t an act you wanted attached to your own name, however. I’m not certain why. I can only surmise, despite a truly staggering array of evidence to the contrary, that there is still some rationality left on the Council. I was put in an empty set of cells, and you came with the key yourself, because no one else knows I’m here.’ Pressing his left hand to his shoulder, he pushed away from the wall and came forward. Guion, inside the cell, was breathing shallowly. ‘No one knows I’m here. Which means no one knows you’re here. No one’s going to look, no one’s going to come, no one’s going to find you.’ His voice was steady as he held Guion’s gaze through the bars. ‘No one’s going to help your family when my uncle comes, all smiles.’ He could see Guion’s pinched expression, the tightness in his jaw and around his eyes. He waited. It came in a different voice, with a different expression, flatly. ‘What do you want?’ said Guion.

1) the complex inductive reasoning is back! laurent is going to be just fine

2) laurent just unpacked guion’s plan exactly how i’ve been attempting to unpack laurent’s bullshit in my annotations for the past 2+ books. except mine are much more bewildered, and oftten inaccurate. but that's all a part of the fun. i appreciate the small victories of occasionally getting it right ;)

[what-the-stories-have-foretold]

do you have any headcanons for griffin? just finished babel and i simply NEED more of him! i’m going insane

That was my reaction to finishing the book too 😭

Griffin Lovell x fem!reader

Warnings: I tried to keep the time vague/og, but modern au here and there is possible, can be read as both though i think, i looked up the one chinese term on a blog. If it's wrong, pls let me know 💕

Notes: looked at a few Griffin scenes again for this

Not that this is news, but Griffin is actually pretty awkward, though there are situations were he can cover it up - or forget about it

Specifically if there's an interesting discussion to have or...a rather heated one

he may have been feeling weird about talking to that person earlier, but now he's all but insulting them

I think, no matter your personality, it'll be hard to get closer to him - especially dating-wise

Shy girls that look at him with wide eyes are cute for sure; headstrong girls near intimidate him and often put him in a state of awe

But he's suspicious by nature - or no, that's not right. Suspicious by experience. He knows he's easily overlooked: clothes that border on ragged, a figure that so easily slinks into the shadows. How were you able to notice him?

e.g. girls that seem so interested in what he has to tell eerily remind him of Evie

his first thought is always that they are adorable, he's happy he's met someone who wants to know more about his cause. Then dread comes.

I will say, the longer you're in the friend group (Anthony, Robin etc.) the more his suspicions will cease

However, he can be pretty demanding concerning political activism

If you're anything like me (easily overwhelmed and feeling helpless at the prospect of pro-activity/a hard time formulating political opinions in discussions), be ready for arguments and much frustration on his part

It'll take some time for him to understand that you might need his help/patience here and there

He expects a lot from family and friends (politically), but he does learn

While your relationship will probably have quite the rocky start, several years down the line you two will be well-attuned to each other

Because he is so suspicious, Griffin is quite lonely. Having someone care for him, genuinly, will throw him off his rhythm. He's a bit jumpy, give him some time (it's very apparent in the way he always fiddles with a lighter. He doesn't even smoke)

When the relationship has strengthened, Griffin loooves taking you with him to discussions, protests and the like

Really proud of you when you stand your ground in an argument. Barely hides his grin

Griffin likes holding you from behind, like you're a teddy bear. Especially when he's sleepy. Kisses your lower chin or neck when he does so

Often goes for a kiss on your temple and holds you around your waist when standing beside you

Greatly enjoys long make-out sessions with you, although he often only goes for several little pecks or lingering kisses on your lips

In the relationship he's pretty awkward as well. He's just not used to social interactions. Especially with a gf. Might treat you more like a friend at first.

He won't ever admit it, and it's really hard to notice, but when he sees you and Robin have fun together his heart swells (especially when he calls you jiĕjie)

He really cares about Robin, and the way his little brother always takes your side instead of his doesn't even hurt his feelings, it just makes him realise how deep in he is

And there he thought he had left love and all of that behind

[read-marx-and-lenin]

Hi, I’m a 25 year old who just started my journey (truly) learning about communism.

I’m feeling overwhelmed with the amount of information and how little I know. I also suffer heavily with ADD and was wondering if you could recommend some entry level books which is easier to read? I’ve picked up a couple which had terminology I didn’t understand that left me frustrated and made this process seem a lot harder than necessary

The Communist Manifesto and Engels' Principles of Communism are very entry-level, and if you haven't read them yet you should.

I don't know what kind of terminology is tripping you up, but there's no shame in using dictionaries or Google to look up terms you don't understand. The Marxists Internet Archive (marxists.org) has a glossary of terms under their "Encyclopedia" page which can also be a useful research, although despite the site being a very comprehensive archive of works from all across the left, the editors (of the English site at least) have biases like anyone else and it often shows in the glossary. But as long as you keep in mind that the definitions they give are not always universal, that resource can be very helpful in deciphering Marxist terminology.

And as always, I thoroughly recommend finding reading groups and discussion groups to participate in when learning about communism. It is an entirely different experience reading theory as part of a group, and it will help with understanding and retention if you have people you can talk with about what you are reading.

[euphoricfilter]

i would like to share this smut fic idea that’s been rotting my brain for days now

(cw: smut, dom! jimin, sub! reader, both wearing skirts while they fuck and a little bit of spanking, use of a dildo. mild talks of body image)🕺

likely to be titled: ‘the feminine pact’

this is half a product of a tiktok i saw and half part of the conversation that was brought up last week… maybe two weeks ago about how femininity and dominance can coexist within the same sphere

and a mildly self indulgent fic to heal my weird mindset when it comes to clothes and how undeserving i feel of actual nice things or ways i present myself

☆ jimin and you who have been in a long term relationship, both know you’re each other’s lasts and neither have any plans to break it off as you are both very much obsessed with one another and hold too much love for the other to even think of someone else in more than a platonic sense

☆ i’m thinking maybe you stumbles across a pretty little dress or skirt, something super feminine and so far out of what you would normally wear. and maybe jimin notices you’ve been looking at it for a little longer than you usually would and asks why you don’t buy it

☆ you’d shake your head and tell him it wasn’t really for you (and jimin would pick up on the double meaning). you’ve both talked about self image and self depreciation before so he knows it’s more than just not thinking it’ll fit your body— you feels undeserving.

☆ and so, as the best boyfriend he is, jimin would obviously order it for you. but he wouldn’t stop there; he’d buy one for himself too!!

☆ and maybe you would cry, a little overwhelmed, scared, worried even. but so very much in love with jimin and how much of a sweetheart he is that you don’t know what else to do but cry and cling onto him with a blubbery thank you tumbling off your lips between hiccups

☆ jimin wouldn’t have been oblivious to talk of his own frowned upon femininity. not exactly the perfect man, too lithe and too pretty. probably having grown up in a household that held ‘typical’ masculinity above everything. and so, his own personal growth would play a part in the story too!! as he discovers that it’s okay to be a mid-point. that being a ‘good stereotypical’ man isn’t the be-all-end-all and that actually accepting femininity as a part of himself makes him feel more comfortable in his own skin

☆ and hence forth the femininity pact!

☆ you’d probably both talk about it again because communication is important for the both of you! how when you wears skirts or dresses you feel strange in her own skin. and jimin talking about his own little fantasies of just, not being restrained to what has been expected of him and exploring a part of him he hadn’t felt comfortable to explore before

☆ and then comes the conversation of how you’d even approach this. starting off small. glittery pink eye shadow and hours spent watching make up tutorials from youtube, streamed on the tv so you can really take in what is being said

☆ learning how to do eyeliner, with you sat on the counter in the bathroom as jimin leans closer to the mirror. and maybe he learns how to do it a little faster, less chunky, maybe even learning how to do it with eye shadow. and then each morning, he does his own and then yours

☆ once the dysmorphia becomes somewhat more bearable with the make up, still a new feeling for the both of you. then would come the clothes. probably one of the biggest challenges

☆ both of them starting with cute tops, an easy start but still a little daunting. jimin would make sure you’re always matching, always changing before you do and then helping you into your clothes. kissing each insecurity he knows you have before helping with your buttons or zipping up a skirt

☆ and of course, jimin would find you utterly beautiful. it’s not that he hadn’t seen you as anything but before. but this, this was something new.

☆ and so, he’d fuck you with the both of you wearing skirts.

☆ glittery eye shadow clinging to the pads of his fingers that leave a shimmery path of pretty love down your body as he pulls your shirt over your tits

☆ his eyeliner a little smudged— print of your lipstick painting his cheeks, maybe dark red, or a blush pink.

☆ maybe he’d fuck you on the bathroom counter, make up and skincare clattering to the floor as he thrusts up into you. silk pyjamas pulled over your thighs and jimin’s pooling at his ankles, calling you pretty and perfect and so utterly his— he wants to stuff you full of his cum until it’s dripping down your thighs and you’re a total mess with zero thoughts except him.

☆ and maybe the days you needed that little push, swallowed by your own self deprecating thoughts and ugly emotions that made you feel shitty. jimin wouldn’t have it. tugging a skirt up your hips and then laying you over his thighs, deft fingers coming down to slap your ass until tears cling to your waterline and slick soaked the crotch of your frilly panties

☆ and maybe he gets a little carried away while the two of you are out. dragging you into the bathroom, kissing you until your lips are smudged and sticky with lipgloss that he re-applies after fingering you. your pretty glittery nails digging into his shoulders and raking down his back

☆ and being the little menace that he is. he’d buy you a glittery pink dildo. all cute and fun until he makes you bounce on it in front of him. his cock straining under the dress he’s wearing.

☆ and you’re not allowed his cock until you’ve made yourself all pretty and messy for him. pretty pussy a little puffy and used before he slides between your walls and claims you as his all over again. making sure you lick his cock clean of your juices and stuffing his fingers back into your cunt so his seed doesn’t spill out of you.

☆ just jimin fucking you in a skirt and the both of you being pretty people that learn to love yourselves and pretty things

[successblueprints]

Discipline is one of those things we all know we need, but rarely talk about in a real, no-nonsense way. It’s not about perfection or having everything figured out—it’s about how we show up, especially when things get tough. In this piece, we're cutting through the noise and breaking down some practical, grounded strategies for building and maintaining discipline in everyday life. No fluff, just straightforward advice you can actually use. Think of it as baby steps toward a more disciplined life—small actions that add up over time. Whether it’s pushing through challenges, setting clear limits, or learning how to embrace failure, these insights will help you take control of your mindset and habits, one manageable step at a time. Let’s dive in.

1. Embracing Learning

The idea here is to go beyond just surface-level knowledge. Think about it like this: you don’t just study to pass a test—you study because the information could be crucial when you least expect it. It’s like being the mechanic who knows every part of an engine, not for show, but because one day that knowledge might be the key to solving a real problem.

How I’d use this:I’m not going to just cram facts. I’ll take time to understand the material deeply so it sticks, especially in subjects where real understanding matters long-term, like chemistry or biology.

2. Becoming the Character

Instead of looking up to characters or people who seem to have it all together, what if you just became that person? It’s like putting on a new mindset, the same way you’d wear a suit that makes you feel more confident. You act the part until it’s real.

How I’d use this:When I’m feeling unsure or unmotivated, I’ll flip the switch and act like I’m already the disciplined, focused version of myself. It’s about adopting the mentality, even if I don’t feel it yet.

3. Honest Conversations

We often dodge the truth about where we’re slipping. But nothing changes until you face it. The sooner you admit to yourself that you’ve been cutting corners, the sooner you can fix it. It’s like finally cleaning out a messy room—it’s tough to start, but afterward, everything flows better.

How I’d use this:Next time I catch myself skipping workouts or studying less than I know I should, I’ll stop and call myself out. No more pretending everything’s fine when it’s not.

4. Overcoming Adversity (Sisyphus Mentality)

Think of discipline like pushing a heavy boulder up a hill, knowing it might roll back down tomorrow. It’s not glamorous, but it’s a daily choice. You either keep pushing or let the boulder flatten you.

How I’d use this:When things get overwhelming, like with exams or back-to-back assignments, I’ll focus on just moving forward. One task at a time, knowing every little push counts.

5. Embracing the Furnace (Let’s Skip the Dungeon)

Instead of shying away from challenges, face them head-on. It’s like stepping into a furnace where you get refined, not burned. The more time you spend dealing with hard things, the stronger you get. Avoiding discomfort only holds you back from leveling up.

How I’d use this:When I’m avoiding something tough—whether it’s a hard concept in class or just dragging myself to the gym—I’ll remind myself that pushing through now makes everything easier later.

6. Friction and Greatness

Every day starts with friction, that resistance that keeps you in bed or makes you procrastinate. That resistance doesn’t just disappear. The trick is to recognize it’s always there, but every time you push past it, you get a little stronger.

How I’d use this:Next time I feel like avoiding a workout or putting off a difficult study session, I’ll push through the friction, knowing that every time I do, it gets a bit easier.

7. Embracing Failure

Failure isn’t the end—it’s part of the process. Think of it like learning to ride a bike. You’re going to fall, scrape your knees, and maybe even get frustrated, but that’s how you learn. Without those failures, you’ll never figure out how to balance.

How I’d use this:If I mess up a quiz or struggle with a new concept, I won’t dwell on it. Instead, I’ll treat it as feedback, figure out what went wrong, and try again.

8. Set Clear Limits

Knowing your limits isn’t about being lazy; it’s about being smart. If you try to run full speed every day, you’ll burn out. It’s like running a marathon—you need to pace yourself to make it to the end without collapsing halfway through.

How I’d use this:I’ll stop glorifying overwork. Instead, I’ll set manageable study sessions and take breaks when I need them so I can keep going strong in the long run.

9. Declare Your Limits

Once you know what you can handle, it’s important to communicate that to others. It’s like drawing a line in the sand, setting boundaries so you don’t overcommit and end up exhausted.

How I’d use this:When I feel overloaded, I’ll be honest about it and set boundaries with myself and others. No more saying yes to everything just to prove I can handle it.

10. Prevent Overexertion

Whether it’s at the gym or in your studies, overexertion doesn’t help anyone. Going too hard too fast is how you end up injured, either physically or mentally. The key is to build gradually and pace yourself.

How I’d use this:When I’m tempted to do a marathon study session, I’ll pull back and focus on balance. No need to kill myself over one day’s work—steady progress is what counts.

11. Find Passionate Work

If you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, discipline becomes a grind. But when you care about something, discipline becomes easier. It’s not about forcing yourself to grind—it’s about genuinely wanting to put in the effort.

How I’d use this:I’ll focus more on the parts of my studies I’m actually excited about. That way, I’m working hard because I want to, not because I have to.

12. Clear Goal Setting

Without clear goals, you’re just wandering around aimlessly. Goals act like a map, keeping you on track. The clearer and more specific your goals, the easier it is to know what you’re working toward.

How I’d use this:Instead of vague goals like “study chemistry,” I’ll break it down into something actionable like “review 3 chapters” or “complete 10 equations.” It keeps me focused.

13. Routine Development

Discipline becomes easier when it’s part of your routine. Think of it like brushing your teeth—you don’t debate whether or not to do it, you just do. Building a routine takes the guesswork out of discipline.

How I’d use this:I’ll create a daily study routine so it becomes automatic. Same time, same place every day—no negotiating with myself about when to start.

14. Environment Design

Your environment matters. If you’re surrounded by distractions, you’re setting yourself up to fail. It’s like trying to run through quicksand—you’re not going to get far.

How I’d use this:I’ll make my study space distraction-free by clearing clutter, silencing my phone, and making sure everything I need is within reach so I can focus better.

15. Regular Reflection

If you don’t stop to reflect, you’ll never know how far you’ve come or what needs adjusting. Reflection isn’t about patting yourself on the back—it’s about checking the map and making sure you’re still on the right path.

How I’d use this:Every week, I’ll take a few minutes to look back at what went well and where I need to make adjustments. It helps keep me on course.

16. Self-Reward

Discipline doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the process. Small rewards along the way help keep you going, making the grind more manageable. It’s like giving yourself little checkpoints to look forward to.

How I’d use this:I’ll give myself small rewards after hitting certain study milestones—whether it’s a break, a snack, or something I enjoy. It helps keep the momentum going without burning out.

[lolotheparagon]

Scarecrow: In case we ever get separated in Gotham and the need for radio communication arises, Ive given all of your sisters codenames to protect your identities from anyone hacking into our channel. Sweetie Belle, I dub you Cortisol.

Sweetie Belle: AWESOME!! WHAT A COOL NAME!

(A week later, whilst the ponies are being babysat by Barbara Gordon)

Barbara: Okay, guys. Its getting late, time to go home. I'll call your dad to pick you up. Do you wanna talk to him, Sweetie?

Sweetie Belle: Sure! Oh, Babs? Make sure to use all our codenames, just in case.

Barbara: He's given you guys codenames?

Sweetie Belle: Yeah! In case of emergencies! I'm Corty-sol!

Barbara: You mean Cortisol?

Sweetie Belle: Yeah! What does that mean, anyway?

Barbara: Its a chemical that manages someone's stress

Sweetie Belle: (saddened) Oh.

(Cut to back home)

Sweetie Belle: (teary eyed) D-DAD! WHY DID YOU NAME ME CORTY-SOL?!

Scarecrow: Sweetie, Ive named all of your sisters after my fave chemicals: Norepinephrine, Cholestrol, Hydrogen Sulfide. Yours is no different.

Sweetie Belle: B-BUT BABS TOLD ME CORTY-SOL IS A CHEMICAL ABOUT STRESS! A-AM I STRESSFUL? IS THAT WHY YOU GAVE ME THAT CODENAME?? AM I ANNOYING.

Scarecrow: No, Sweetie, its nothing personal. I merely thought it would be a discreet name that is also an apt reference to your sickeningly sweet disposition

(Sweetie Belle starts crying, Scarecrow cringes and tries to calm her down)

Scarecrow: Okay, Okay, I'm sorry. That was cruel of me. It wont happen again

Sweetie Belle: (sniffles) Okay

Scarecrow: How about you come up with your own codename? Would that help?

Sweetie Belle: (dries tears) Yeah.

Scarecrow: Proceed then.

Sweetie Belle: Hmmm.. Oh, how about Angel Cookie?

Scarecrow: ...The whole point of codenames is to conceal identities, not showcase them

Sweetie Belle: PLEASE DAD!! I PROMISE ILL BE SUPER CAREFUL WHEN I USE THE WALKIE TALKIE! ILL EVEN DO A DIFFERENT VOICE TO THROW PEOPLE OFF!

Scarecrow: (sighs) Alright. I'll change it once I get on the computer

Sweetie Belle: (hugs Scarecrow tightly) YAY! Thank you, Dad!

(As Crow pats her head, the other ponies stop by)

Pinkie Pie: Hey, whats going on?

Sweetie Belle: Dad let me choose my own codename for our radio channel!

Scootaloo: Aw, no fair! I want to pick my own codename!

Starsong: Yeah, me too!

Rainbow Dash: Me three!

Toola Roola: Can I pick one please?

(All 7 ponies talk over each other to a gradually overwhelmed Scarecrow)

Scarecrow: Children, please! You cant all have new codenames!

Ponies: (still talking over each other)

Scarecrow: (raises his voice) GIRLS! (Normal voice) Discuss your choices amongst yourselves and let me know the results once you are done.

(10 minutes later, the poneis are finished talking and break their huddle to talk to their father, leaning back into the sofa, steadily twiddling his fingers)

Scarecrow: So what have you all chosen?

Pinkie Pie: I want my code name to be MissPink

Rainbow Dash: Cashmere!

Starsong: Pirouette, hehe after my favourite ballet move!

Scootaloo: GameLord!

Toola Roola: I want to be Polka Dot!

Cheerilee: Maccoby!

(Scarecrow stops and does a double take at Cheerilee, surprised at her obscure answer)

Scarecrow: Who?

Cheerilee: Yknow, after Eleanor Maccoby? The famous doctor? All women who have made great accomplishments in the field of psychology deserve some recognition!

Scarecrow: Impressive. You’re learning such complex terms and studies faster than I thought. I’m so proud of you, my little dictionary. (Ruffles Cheerillee’s head)

Cheerilee: (giggles)

Starsong: Well, what about ours? Are they good enough?

Scarecrow: (leans back and ponders to himself as the ponies anticipatedly stare up at him)

Hmmm, some of them are more transparent, which defeats the purpose of a code name but since you all like these names so much, I think we can work with that

Ponies: (all cheer excitedly as Crow brings up his laptop and inputs each of the new codenames)

Scarecrow: (to himself) Im going to need more firewalls

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hey I dunno if you’ve gotten this before but. Do you have anything on autism and DID/OSDD? Specifically resources or accounts and such (since I’ve seen the positivity post)

I struggle with emotional dysregulation, big memory issues (huge chunks of childhood and adolescence missing, forgetting things constantly, dissociating emotions from memories, etc,) frequent daydreaming/spacing out/dissociation, that type of thing (and a bit more that’s a little too complicated to explain in an ask lol)

I’ve always kind of figured it was just part of me being autistic (I’m professionally diagnosed and definitely very autistic regardless lol), but I’ve recently gone down a bit of a rabbit hole relating to plurality and now I’m wondering if it could be a symptom of DID/OSDD instead/as well (I was originally looking at something else and stumbled into the tags somehow. The original thing that led me here was foxes. I think. And then I had a bit of a panic as I realized how some of the symptoms were VERY close to some of my experiences. Especially the memories.) but i also can’t tell if it’s just some sort of brain fog(???? Is that the correct term?) / alexithymia / Unknown Autism Trait 3 that nobody ever talks about and is difficult to find any sort of explanation or resources for. And my brain protested and had the equivalent of being on the verge of a sobbing meltdown or mental overload of some sort when I tried to think about stuff relevant to the topic so I don’t think it’s going to be of much help to me right now.

obviously not asking for diagnosis or to self diagnose at all (since. I understand you cant really do either of those /lh /nm) but I’m curious if any of you know of any resources relating to this specific type of stuff? I feel like I’d go insane trying to find any info on it. (And also I don’t think my brain would want to cooperate if I asked it to because it basically shuts down, gives me a headache, and turns to a pathetic wet sobbing cat whenever I try to think about the possibility so I doubt I’ll be identifying as anything anytime soon but. I want some stuff to think over at least.)

hey, we also are autistic and have dissociative identity disorder. unfortunately, there isn’t really too much research on the overlap between autism and complex dissociative disorder diagnoses at this time, that we know of, but we do think that autistic people may have a higher likelihood of dissociating and developing a cdd than neurotypical people.

we really love mike lloyd’s work at the ctad clinic, and he has an insightful video on the intersection of autism and dissociation here:

here is an open access paper by katherine e. reuben and ayden parish on dissociation as a symptom in autism - it’s an interesting read and wasn’t too difficult for us to parse:

also, here are a couple life experience pieces by folks with both did and autism:

our own autism has contributed to our trauma history in how we were treated, formed attachment, and understood the world as a child. for our own system, our autism and our did are inextricably linked. we are certain that many other autistic systems feel the same.

if exploring this possibility for yourself is causing you great distress, it may be for the best to put this off to the side for now until you have reached a point with more stability or a greater support system in your life. please don’t overwhelm or cause yourself harm by looking into this possibility on your own, if it is unhealthy for you.

if you are in therapy or have a mental health professional in your life who you trust, this would be an excellent thing to bring up to them. though hopefully these resources can help you get started learning about this topic if you have the spoons/ability to do so.

we are no medical expert or research professional, but we are happy to talk more about our personal experience of being both autistic and a did system if anyone would be interested. best of luck to you, anon, with figuring this out. we know how confusing and challenging it can be!

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Heart of the Ocean 💙 | Teen Wolf Miniseries Part 1

Takes place in between 3A & 3B of Teen Wolf

Teen Wolf Masterlist | part 2

Characters & Pairings: Hale/McCall Pack x supernatural!reader (female/platonic), eventual Peter Hale x reader (romantic), reader x male!oc ( past romance) & reader x supernatural!reader (platonic). Characters in this imagine: Scott McCall, Stiles Stilinski, Lydia Martin, Allison Argent, Isaac Lahey, Derek Hale, Peter Hale.

Content Warnings: light angst, profanity, references of historical event disaster, mentions of death, blood, murder | afab!reader (she/her pronouns) | wc: 3.1k

Requested 📨 yes/no (rules for requests)

Premise: Suspicious deaths were a common occurrence in Beacon Hills—especially after things seem to be actually looking good when a previous problem is fixed. Now Scott and the pack are having to investigate a string of murders happening that not only reek of supernatural, but linked to an renowned event they’ve learned in history class.

Note: I’m hyperfixating on Titanic as of late so I have a lot of ideas involving AU’s and retelling with various fandoms. I just did a TGM au with Bradley Bradshaw and currently have a Twilight one in the works so expect a lot of Titanic in my works when I’m not writing requests.

————————————

Riddles were a tricky little thing. And when used in a malevolent way where to find the answer to a solution one must crack the code, riddles can become a person’s worst enemy.

And the one laying on the table of Derek’s loft was becoming their enemy.

Murders, which was becoming a common occurrence lately in Beacon Hills, were happening where the people were nearly drained of their blood by cutting their throats and wrists before letting them hang upside down. Stiles' father was overwhelmed with stress. Not to mention he was having to come to terms with the reality his town was a beating heart for supernatural creatures. Like how his sons best friend since childhood was a fucking werewolf.

And while it was presumed a human serial killer was responsible for the murders, the pack had an inkling it was more sinister. Investigating on their own they found more suspicious reasons to believe it was supernatural.

Only problem, they had no clue who or what it was.

They were all gathered over the table—save for Peter who was nestled on the couch. Stiles was rubbing a thumb over his lip, becoming frustrated as he was usually on top of solving riddles. Lydia was beside him, deep in thought as she read over the paper silently.

“He just left this here?” Scott glanced at Derek, who was standing with his arms crossed on the opposite side of the table.

“Right outside the door. Like he wanted us to find it.”

“And you heard nothing?” Stiles’ question earned him a glare. “Super hearing and you didn’t hear someone stabbing a piece of paper into your front door?”

“If I did you think I would’ve let him leave the damn note?” Derek spoke harshly.

“Riddle.”

“—knowing all it is is a distraction so he can kill more people.”

“It’s not just a distraction,” Allison interrupted the two bickering, staring hard at the note. “It’s an order. He’s asking us to find someone.”

“Yeah,” Isaac scoffed, “who we have no idea is.”

“Read it again,” Scott sighed, running a hand through his hair. With a huff, Stiles took the paper in his hands, clearing his throat before reading aloud for all to hear.

Have you figured it out yet?

Were my clues not enough?

You’re thinking too hard now,

Let me show you it’s not so tough.

Our faces the same,

As they were the day we changed.

Only the eyes no longer its color,

A price for the exchange.

You’ll find it almost disheartening,

When you learn of what we do.

Our nature is uncanny,

But it’s not so far from you.

Find the one I’m looking for,

And I’ll stop the chaos and the pain.

Are you ready?

Here’s your hint.

Time is of the essence,

So you better make it quick.

Wearing the Heart of the Ocean,

She’s closer than it seems.

For I seek the one I turned,

Who was on the Ship of Dreams.

Silence fills the loft, everyone thinking hard of what it could mean. There were so many clues but so vague it was difficult to puzzle them together.

“Well we know it’s someone supernatural,” Isaac hummed, attempting to lighten the situation.

“Yeah we got that genius,” Peter muttered.

“And he’s looking for a woman,” Allison added, ignoring Peter’s sarcasm. “Someone he turned. And was on a ship?” It comes out more like a question, “that could mean a lot of things.”

“Could it be a werewolf?” Scott turned to Derek

The man shook his head, “I don’t think so.”

“But the thing about the eyes—.”

“Many shapeshifters' eyes are like ours. That doesn’t mean it’s a wolf. Plus he said they’re not wolves.”

“How do you know?”

Derek rolls his eyes as though it were obvious, “he wrote, ‘our nature is uncanny, but it’s not so far from you,’. If they were wolves he would’ve said so.”

“Maybe another Kanima?” Allison suggested, “the master looking for his puppet?”

Stiles cuts in, narrowing his eyes on the last verse, “Why would he bold the first and last line of the last clue—these ones,” he places the paper flat on the table. Lydia, the closest to him, leans in as his finger points to the verse. “Heart of the Ocean and the—.”

“Ship of Dreams,” she finishes, voice going low as realization hits her. All eyes turn to her, confusion in their gaze until the name leaves her lips. “Titanic.”

“What?” The question came from Scott, but all were thinking the same. There’s no way she was talking about the most famous shipwreck in history.

“Titanic,” Lydia repeated, this time more confidently. Her own finger came up to point where Stiles' finger had been. “They used to call it the Ship of Dreams.”

“Titanic?” Isaac’s tone was full of doubt. “You mean the ship that sank a century ago?” He couldn’t help but add, “And the movie Leonardo DiCaprio dies in.”

She rolls her eyes, “I don’t recall any other having the same name.”

“The anniversary is coming up,” Derek starts to say, deep in thought like it was all coming together. “It would make sense.”

“Wait—hold on,” Stiles lifts a dramatic hand. “We’re talking about THE Titanic—like Isaac said—that sank a hundred years ago. A hundred,” he repeats to show his point. “Anyone who is alive—even if they were a werewolf or shapeshifter or whatever the hell you want to call it,” he glances at each of them, “would pretty much be on their last breath of life. If this woman were a newborn baby at the time she’d be at least one hundred years old by now.”

In the debate none had noticed Peter moved from the couch to the window. The chuckle leaving his mouth caught their attention. Stiles makes a sound, “I’m sorry, do you wanna share with the class what you obviously know that we’re missing?”

“Our faces are the same,” he says the opening line of the second verse, only drawing confusion and annoyed looks from the others. “As they were the day we changed.” The man pauses, letting it sink in before continuing, “If the woman he’s looking for was on Titanic then she likely was an adult. Considering he turned her, probably by saving her from freezing to death or drowning, and she wears the same face she did the night she was turned…” Peter steps away from the window, now facing the group.

“She’s not aging. At all. Meaning…..she’s immortal.”

The silence following his confession is eerie, eyes flicking over each other to see if they were reacting the same. Immortal. Though the term was familiar it felt almost foreign. Never had they dealt with someone immortal. Unable to die and was walking the Earth acting as though they were human. Now Beacon Hills had two in its possession. They needed to work fast and the riddle only had pieces of the puzzles.

So who—or more like what, was immortal?

"What are you getting to?” Scott narrowed his eyes, Wanting a straightforward answer to what they were dealing with.

Peter clasps his hands behind his back, slowly inching forward,” It’s not shapeshifters you’re looking for.” He takes a step closer, “or a Kanima and its master.” Another step, “or a dark Druid.” Another step brings him right next to Derek, eyes flicking to the paper. “There are few creatures blessed with immortality—or cursed if you look at it another way. But most of them are born with it. Take Gods and fairies for example.”

“Oh my God—those exist?” Stiles feels his mind implode, “Are we about to fight Gods?”

“No,” annoyed at being interrupted Peter rolled his eyes. “I just said those are immortals that are born with their powers. And I don’t know if they exist, I’ve haven’t met one yet. Anyway, this one—.” His finger touches the riddle, “was turned. And likely the person who did was too.”

“So what is it then,” Scott was becoming impatient. And who could blame him really. For all they know it someone was already being drained of their blood at that very moment. “What’s the immortal that’s turned not born?”

“Come one,” he scoffs, like he couldn’t believe they hadn’t figured it out. “Ever wonder why the victims were drained of their blood?” The one question had everyone's face become colorless. “Has Stiles's father not caught on the wounds were made after they were dead?” Why their throat was slashed….but had two little puncture holes on either side?” Peter glances around at every person, catching the nervousness of their gaze as though they already knew what he was about to say but wished it wasn’t.

“The creatures you’re looking for…..are vampires.”

The rest of the night the pack was gathering as much information as they could about the passengers aboard Titanic—all 2,240 of them—while also trying to figure out any other clues within the riddle. They still couldn’t believe it was a vampire responsible for the murders. And that he was hunting someone he created who, still to their shock, was a passenger aboard Titanic.

And with 2,240 people on the ship during its ill fated maiden voyage…they were in for a long night.

“Okay so we know they’re vampires—our killer is the one who turned the woman he’s searching for into a vampire. She was on Titanic when it sank meaning—,” Stiles wrote furiously across the notepad, the riddle next right beside it. “He was on it too. Now we could narrow this down several ways. Either by searching through the passengers class or going through who survived because as Lydia pointed out,” the hand holding the pen points to the redhead, “RMS Carpathia recorded the names of the survivors before they reached New York.”

Either method was good, but there was a problem with the latter. As Allison pointed out, “but what if they never knew she was there? I mean having a newly turned vampire on a ship filled with people is a recipe for disaster.”

Derek nods, agreeing with her, “Her eyes would’ve made it obvious.”

“How so?” Asked Isaac.

Peter is the one to explain, “Vampires in our world are different from what you see on TV. They aren’t these pale, corpse-like, individuals who look like they belong in the morgue. They’re rather human-like if they’re equipped with a special glimmer that allows them to come off as mortal.”

“Glimmer?” Lydia raised a brow, finding the word a bit comical given the creature they were dealing with.

“We’ll get to that. But any vampire who’s newly turned will have red eyes—blood red eyes.”

“How fitting,” Stiles couldn’t help but groan. “So what, are you saying she’s likely wearing contacts to hide her eyes.”

“Possibly,” Peter hums with a shrug, “wouldn’t be surprised if she is. This day in age makes it easier for vampires to conceal their nature. But considering our little vampire was turned in 1912…her creator probably hid her on the Carpathia—or as outrageous as it sounds, swam her across the remainder of the Atlantic ocean.”

Derek closes the book in front of him, detailing the events of the RMS Carpathia rescue of Titanic’s passengers. “However he saved her can wait,” he leans his hands onto the table, “We need to figure out the last clue of this riddle.” Moving the riddle to him, Derek reads, “Wearing the Heart of the Ocean, she’s closer than it seems.”

Lydia bites her lip, typing away on her laptop. “If I didn’t know it any better…it sounds like he’s trying to reference a piece of jewelry. Probably a necklace or something.”

Peter rubs his jaw deep in thought, “That could be the source of her glimmer.”

“The necklace?” Stiles wonders aloud.

“Usually most vampires would prefer a ring or bracelet,” he waves a hand, “It’s small and concealable. Very easy for a Druid to enchant the item and allow the vampire to give off the effect to other supernatural beings they’re human. Prevents them from being obliterated by the sun. That’s their glimmer. Sealed within the jewelry to act as a camouflage. So long as they have it on,” he shrugs lightly, “you’d never know what they truly are.”

“And she’s been passing off as a human in Beacon Hills. For God knows how long,” Lydia opens a separate browser, hands hovering over the keyboard. “If her necklace has a name like Heart of the Ocean it shouldn’t be too hard to find. We find the Heart of the Ocean, we find her.” Her words have Allison come over beside her, realization crossing her face.

“Isn’t that the name of the necklace Rose wore in the movie?” Right as she finished her sentence, the image popped up on the screen of said necklace after Lydia typed the name into Google. “So it was real after all?”

“Appears to be,” Lydia was just as amazed. Stiles leans over her other side, eyes bulging at the sight of the large blue heart-shaped diamond surrounded by tiny little white ones.

“That’s gotta be worth a billion dollars.”

“350 million to be exact,” Lydia reads off. “At least today it is. Back then it was worth probably not even a quarter of that price—but still big for its time.”

“So…” Isaac taps his finger to his mouth, glaring up at the ceiling from where he was seated, legs perched on the table. “We’re looking for a vampire—probably at least 120 give or take a few years—who is passing off as human because of a magic necklace worth more than our entire lives. Wonderful.”

Scott takes a glance, letting out a whistle, “That had to have belonged to a first-class passenger. I’d say we start there.”

“On it,” Lydia begins to search records of the names aboard Titanic with First-class tickets. While she’s doing that the pack gathers to the makeshift board Stiles had created, adding notes to it as they go.

Stiles tapes the new information on the necklace to next to the verse on the copy of the riddle they made. “Heart of the Ocean a.k.a the magic necklace making the vampire appear human. To be honest, if someone were wearing a necklace that extravagant in Beacon Hills it’d be noticeable.”

Scott agreed, “She’s probably keeping it under her clothes. I mean I would. Lydia, did you find anything on who it belonged to?”

The redhead makes a huff, “from what the article says,” she clicks on a link, “it belonged to American socialite Y/n L/n as a gift from her husband Theodore Ford on their wedding day. He had it custom made overseas on a trip to France.” Lydia’s eyes widened at the next line, “She was the niece of John Rockefeller and he was the nephew of Henry Ford.”

“Good God,” Stiles made a sound, many of the others showing a similar reaction. “What a match made in heaven…and money.”

“Great,” Peter plops onto the couch, “our vampire was a once billionaire socialite—well maybe not billionaire. That’s a far reach. Since she was only the niece of Rockefeller and her hubby was a Ford she probably only had a snippet of their families fortune.” The man rolls his neck, hands clasped on his lap with his legs kicked up. “She shouldn’t be too hard to find then. All we need is a picture.”

Derek gives his uncle an annoyed look, “We don’t if it’s her or not. Maybe the necklace was stolen by her creator and that’s how she got it.”

“What else does it say?” Allison turns her attention back to her best friend. In her head she couldn’t help but feel there was something missing. That they were so close to the answer.

Lydia continues on, “It says here that they married in 1901–Y/n aged nineteen and Theodore aged twenty-one. They had a son, Benjamin, born 1905 and Theodore died six years later in 1911 from a car accident.” She scrolls down a bit, brows furrowing a tad and makes a sound of ‘eureka!’ “Y/n was gifted two First-Class tickets for her and her son aboard Titanic by her uncle John Rockefeller. They boarded the ship during Titanic’s first stop to Cherbough, France….survivors of Titanic recall last seeing Y/n place her son Benjamin into a lifeboat before being denied entry since it had reached maximum capacity,” a feeling of heartbreak fills the redhead, soon followed by defeat as she reads “It is believed Y/n L/n drowned as the ship submerged beneath the surface on April 15, 1912, as her body was never recovered as one to have perished from hypothermia in the freezing waters. Nor was she listed on the records of survivors on RMS Carpathia. Her son Benjamin was soon taken in by her mother where he remained in New York City until his sudden death in 1918 by influenza.”

A moment of silence passes as they take in the information. For Allison and Lydia, they couldn’t help the sadness for the woman they didn’t even know. To have to say goodbye to your child, likely promising them you’d get on the next boat and would be reunited shortly, only to never see them again.

The redhead suddenly straightens her posture.

“What is it?” Scott hears her heartbeat quicken. Worry takes his features when Lydia appears as if she saw a ghost. Everyone else looks the same when she brings a hand to her mouth. “Lydia?” There’s a slight tremor in her hand when she pulls it away.

“She’s closer than it seems.” She whispers the line from the final verse. Tone filled with near distraught.

Allison takes a hesitant step forward. From where they were all standing they could also see the light of the screen hitting Lydia’s complexion. Whatever was on it was hidden from their view. “Lydia…”

“I-I thought it meant that by finding the Heart of the Ocean we’d be able to spot whoever was wearing it. That we’d have to maybe knock on every door in Beacon Hills until we find whoever is hiding it—as stupid as that sounds. Because who in their right mind if they knew they were being hunted would just hide in plain sight? But….” her breath picks up, slight horror and astonishment as she stares back at the screen. “He knows where she is—h-he wants us to find her, because she can lead us to him.”

“Lydia….” Stiles slowly draws closer to her. Peter moves to stand from the couch, expression unreadable as was Derek’s.

But Lydia’s eyes never move from the screen. “The riddle—it was just his game. He knows exactly where she is. He has to. Because she’s been under our nose all along—closer than we could’ve imagined.” Finally the redhead looks up to the anxious eyes of everyone, revealing the shocking truth with the slow turn of the laptop.

“She boarded Titanic as Y/n L/n,” the screen shows a sepia image causing Allison to gasp, Isaac to mutter ‘holy shit’, Stiles to drop his marker, and Scott to feel his stomach drop. Derek and Peter shared a look, Derek more anxious than his uncle. “But she’s been living as Loretta Andrews.”

There on the screen, listed as the socialite Y/n L/n and wearing the jaw-dropping necklace called the Heart of the Ocean, was a woman whose face the teenagers had seen every Monday to Friday for the last three months. Who looked no older than the age of 30 like in the picture and had arrived in Beacon Hills shortly before the spring semester.

Their English teacher, Loretta Andrews.

[agent-darkfest]

Arabian knights: Other than wish granting, what powers do Sun and Moon have

Metal Rock AU: How do Sun and Moon (and maybe Eclipse if that's okay) react to fangirls at meet and greets? How do they react to fan boys? (I don't know if fanboys and fangirls have a difference in behavior lol)

Ooooooo, fun questions! These are gonna be interesting to answer! And questions for my Metal Rock AU as well!? How exciting!!!

Ok, so… this is gonna be a bit long, so I’ll put it under the cut.

———————

Arabian Knights AU: Besides the ability of "wish granting" (I’m working on a comic to elaborate on the term, the Jinn actually refer to it as "granting favors"), Sun and Moon do have other abilities! So Sun and Moon are both Marids which are Jinn that have powerful magic and have been known to transform into Giants. However, Sun and Moon come from different tribes, so they naturally have different types of abilities. Sun’s tribe is known for the ability to shapeshift into any living creature, except animals that take flight. Moon’s tribe is know for the ability of flight and speed. In addition, the Jinn are more connected to the natural world so they have the ability to manipulate the elements. Another innate ability is that they are invisible to humans unless they show themselves. So let’s say that what might be two Marid Jinn giants fighting in the desert, to us it may just look like a violent sandstorm. But one thing to remember is that as a Jinni or a Djinn, their power is bound and limited.

Now, for the other half of the ask.

Metal Rock AU: So what’s interesting is that Sun and Moon were originally theater bots, so they LOVE performing for an audience. However, when it comes to one-on-one interactions with people it’s a little more complicated since they are currently Daycare Attendants and spend most of their time interacting with kids, not adults (their AI has not learned how to do this very well yet). Thankfully they have the glamrocks to give them a few tips on how to deal with the fans. But the way I see it, Sun enjoys the attention of the fans, he likes heavy stimulation so having a lot of fans wanting to interact with him (autographs, photos, interviews, etc.) would make him very happy. However, if they get too wild he starts getting overwhelmed and his anxiety starts kicking in, he’s good at riling people up and expending people’s energy (mostly kids), but not calming them down. I imagine at a meet and greet he would be really happy, but if a fan tries something, he may start getting nervous and panicking. Now, Moon also enjoys the attention of the fans, but he tends to be more laid back. He is also very good at crowd control since he has a very calming effect on his fans. However, there is always a chance a few fans may go wild and cause a ruckus, which in turn may trigger his security protocol. Either way, they both try to do work around their AI protocols to deal with the fans better, it’s a learning experience for them. Also, let’s not forget they both have the Stage Manager to save them from any mishaps. :)

As for Eclipse… he comes later in the story and has the combined knowledge of what both Sun and Moon have learned. So he is actually the best with his fans. However… there appears to be some kind of g̸̞̋l̷̲̚ĩ̸͚ť̸̫c̷͚̏h̵̞̕ in his system that is causing some issues… but I’m sure it’s nothing serious. :)

[scienter]

Wind and Truth Chapter 25

“We’ve found Restares,” said the floating, glowing head. “He told us, and Shallan, the details. Mishram’s prison is hidden in the Spiritual Realm.” Storms. That was Felt. One of Adolin’s soldiers. Coldness enveloped Shallan, accompanied by an overwhelming sense of disconnect. Felt was a spy. Felt was a Ghostblood.

I’m re-reading ROW right now and knowing that Felt was a Ghostblood this entire time has completely changed my perspective on so many scenes. Shallan spends her entire time in Shadesmear thinking “Who’s the spy? Beryl's the spy! Pattern's the spy! I’m the spy!” all the while Felt is right there working for the Ghostbloods. 😏 Shallan, Adolin, and Dalinar had no clue that Kelsier was spying on them this entire fucking time.

“We should be working on our plan,” Icy Tongue said, “to transport Stormlight offworld, now that we know it can be blanked of Identity and transferred between realms. How does chasing down some ancient spren further Master Thaidakar’s orders to provide him a renewable source of Investiture?”

We've had hints that the Rosharn Ghostbloods have their own motives that differ from Kelsier, so I'm very interested in discovering the answer to this.

“I don’t mean losing your presence,” she said. “I mean losing you—your love, your humanity. I don’t want to be selfish, and we will do what the world needs. But I have to ask. What will it mean, Dalinar? And does it have to be you?”

Important questions to ask.  Dailnar needs to think about this long and hard. Yes, Honor needs a vessel, but I don't think Dalinar should be so eager to take up the Shard. It was easier for Sazed to do because it was literally the last moment of the world. Also, he didn't have any familial ties or responsibilities to Scadrial. Dalinar needs to thoroughly consider the long-term implications of Ascension.

“I am scared of this step, but I want to provide answers again regardless. I feel that something has been guiding me all this time. Something I can’t explain, something beyond Honor. I know someone has to step up and do this. The contest isn’t enough. There’s more, and I think I’m the only one who can find out what it is. I spent a great deal of time searching for how to become a stronger Bondsmith, and I think that was a step toward a greater truth of what I actually need to become.”

I’ve wanted Dalinar to Ascend to Honor ever since Oathbringer. Dalinar’s journey felt divine or cosmic in that book. So, I've quietly hoped he would Ascend. I didn't think he'd Ascend so soon though. Moreover, I've wanted Kaladin to become the King of Urithiru since ROW. So, you'd think that I'd be excited about where the narrative appears to be heading, right?

Honestly, though, I’m a little worried. This storyline feels too good to be true. There's no way I'm getting my two biggest desires in book 5. I'm just not that lucky. So, I have this sense of foreboding. As though Brandon is setting me up for something dark . . .

I feel like Charlie Brown to Brandon's Lucy van Pelt.

That said, as long as Kaladin doesn't die, I'll be satisfied however this turns out. I'm expecting a bittersweet or costly victory at the end of this book. So . . .

“But we have only eight days before I need to face Odium, and I’m certain the Stormfather is hiding things from me.” “The Sibling agrees,” Navani said. “They keep pointing out the Stormfather’s inaccuracies and our incorrect understanding of historical events.” “The goal,” Wit said, “is for you to relive those events. So you can find out the truth of Honor’s death, and uncover secrets even I don’t know.” He frowned. “I don’t know why the Stormfather would lie though.”

The Stormfather has always been a shady motherfucker. Wtf is he up to?

She nodded hesitantly. “But I ask again: Do you have to do it, Dalinar? Why must it always be you?” “I can’t trust this to anyone else,” Dalinar said. “You learn, as a general, when to send your best lieutenant—and when to go yourself.”

I wonder if the Bondsmiths’ 4th Ideal is about delegating responsibility, trusting others with authority, or giving up the need to control everything. Because Navani is right – Dalinar always makes it his duty to solve the major problems. Kind of like how Kaladin made it his duty to protect everyone all the time from every danger . . .

If, after the contest, the power is changing me too much, I will find another and give it to them.”

Oh, really? Huh. Okay. So, that option is on the table.

Who would Dalinar trust to Ascend? Kaladin? He trusts him enough to make him his adopted heir. . . 🤨🤔

Wit grew distant, a faint smile on his lips. “Once. It wasn’t a full Ascension, but a mortal did give up the power once. It proved to be the wrong choice, but it was the most selfless thing I believe I’ve ever witnessed. So yes, Dalinar, it is possible. But not easy.”

Aww. Hoid thinks Vin giving up Preservation was the most selfless thing he’s ever witnessed.

I love how every character who knew Vin holds her in the highest regard.

CHAPTER 26

Epigraph: I continued on my way, contemplating dust and the nature of desertion. For I, as king, had walked away from my duties, and it was different for me. Had I not renounced a throne the Almighty had granted, and in so doing, undermined my very own words? Was I abandoning that which was divinely given me? – from The Way of Kings, fourth parable

Now that's an interesting epigraph given the discussion about Dalinar Ascending in the previous chapter. Am I on to something about the Bondsmith’s 4th Ideal? We’ll see.

Also, I'm wondering if one of the Tanavast/Nohadon theories* floating around is correct . . .

*I've read theories that Tanavast & Nohadon are the same person or they swapped places.

Shallan needed to push. She needed answers. She found herself speaking in a whisper. “Thaidakar’s purpose.” “Master Thaidakar will see eventually,” Iyatil said. “He is smarter than you give him credit for. He works to protect his homeland above all else, but once we find Mishram for my purposes, he will see. Master Thaidakar can only protect his land if the Shards can be controlled. Will this fit your plans as well?”

Your purposes? What are Iyatil's purposes? What does she want with the shards?

She focused on Shallan, eyes widening behind her mask. Shockspren exploded around her. Damnation. That was it. Iyatil lunged, and Shallan caught the hand, expecting a knife—but Iyatil wasn’t attacking. She was reaching for Shallan’s hood, and in her deflection Shallan knocked it aside, revealing her wig. Iyatil hissed, then shouted, scrambling backward, “Radiants! We are discovered!”

I knew Shallan would be discovered. I knew this would go sideways for her. I didn’t think it’d be this soon though. 😂

Keeping my fingers crossed for some Kaladin or Adolin scenes next week.

[saturnvs]

hellooo this might be kind of a silly question lol, but do you think you can learn to ride at any age? i've always loved horses but i've never really been around them. i've been contemplating signing up for lessons at this stable thats opened up near where i live, but doing just the bare minimum research into what to expect has me a little overwhelmed lol. since you've been posting about riding again, i was wondering if you had any tips or advice for someone who is a complete beginner :')

yes!! i’m a firm believer that anyone can learn at any age - all you really need is the desire and motivation to learn!

i completely understand feeling overwhelmed. there’s SO much to the entire thing, both regarding the riding itself and handling horses on the ground. i would recommend reaching out to the stable and asking basic questions about their establishment, like what to have in mind as a beginner! all stables have different ways of doing things, and a big part in feeling relaxed as a beginner is knowing what to expect.

i have no experience being a complete beginner at an adult age, but i do of course have experience of returning after many years out of the saddle. something that’s been very important to me is to find out a lot about the place i’ve been going to and most of all, not be afraid to ask questions that might seem silly. it’s much better to ask one time too many, especially in an environment where safety is so important.

if you’re feeling nervous or scared or uncertain - let people know! don’t push yourself to do something scary, instead let the instructor know that hey, this makes me anxious, and i might need some help. that goes for anything, both on the ground and in the saddle!!

as a returning rider i booked myself a private lesson with an instructor to get used to the feeling in a safe environment with no distractions as i find it difficult to be in a group setting. not all stables offer that though, but you can always ask! private lessons aren’t on a weekly basis (at least where i ride), but instead an extra hour of learning that you can have a few times throughout the term.

however, as a complete beginner it’s very beneficial to be in a group. you learn to not only keep track of yourself and your horse, but also how to manage being surrounded by other people on horses! and in a group where everyone is new, you have a chance to make some long lasting friends if you want to. it could also be calming to know that you likely aren’t the only one who is super nervous.

this advice probably is a little diffuse, so please don’t hesitate to ask more specific questions!! id be happy to try to help you.

but in short - talk to them and sign up!! you won’t regret getting to know these precious animals <3

edit: just wanted to add!!! my mother, who had never in her life been on horse before, started riding in her mid-40s and although she stopped after a few years she still thinks of it as one of the best things she ever did!! :’)