#and I’d love to get to know other people better

[fishnapple]

How you pursue them - how they want to be pursued

I made a "how they pursue you" reading (you can read it here) so I figured a version from your side is needed. After all, it takes two to tango. This reading was done with your future spouse/lover/partner in mind.

This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.

Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐

About me | Masterpost Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)

STRAWBERRY QUARTZ

If you're someone who's more direct, action oriented and wants thing to move at a fast pace, you might need to slow down and adopt a softer energy towards them. They need to feel an emotional and spiritual connection with you first in order to slowly fall for you. And that connection can be built based upon many small bricks of consideration and practical actions.

The first practical thing that you can do for them is probably be practical and take care of their practical needs, especially when it comes to food, feed them, prepare food for them, and take them out to eat. A fulfilled stomach makes them feel more at ease with you. Displaying emotional stoicism is another way to show them that they can be at ease with you. Being calm in the face of difficulties, rolling your sleeves to solve the problems without complaining, not overreacting or being overly dramatic. They will feel that conflicts with you can be solved diplomatically without being emotionally draining.

They're attracted to consistency and stability, if you do act consistently, it should send a message to them that you're serious and dependable, that they can count on you to not change your mind and heart suddenly and be wishy washy. I think they are wary of unpredictability and emotional unavailability, this could be due to their past experiences, they would often attract this kind of people and the experiences left a deep scar in their heart. So now they look for predictability, even repetitiveness in actions of the other party. If you say you're going to do something, be sure to actually do it, and on time. The fastest way to turn them off would be to say you forgot to do something that you had stated or, worse yet, promised to do.

Sometimes they can feel lonely or pessimistic about the future, this is when you need to be their sunshine, bring more joy to their life, get them out of that gloomy mood. You can offer to do something together, not something that would make them uncomfortable or more anxious of course, things that they can relax yet focus on the physical reality, like making pottery, going for a walk, going to somewhere with many people around, but be sure to not leave them alone, stay close to them all the time. Then subconsciously, they will gradually feel a link with you, their heart will carve a space for you, tiny at first, but will expand gradually.

ROSE QUARTZ

This person is attracted to the idea of fateful love or love at first sight. They want to feel a sense of spiritual connection with the other person. Love should feel transcendental to them. You will have better luck at capturing their attention by flitting in and out of their life than constantly being in their face all the time. A chance meeting stays in their mind longer than the face of someone they see every day, at least initially. When you guys have gotten closer, the opposite would be true, they need your constant presence to feel secure. This person can be hard to pin down with their myriad wishes and expectations, you will feel like walking in a maze when trying to find a way to get closer to them. Maybe it's their way to test your patience and resolve. Be consistent, but still show them some surprises now and then.

If you're already involved in their daily life and want to create that sense of serendipity and fatefulness, try to find any common points that you share and gently, subtly point to those in your conversation. Remember, those things have to be real, not made up just to score a point with them. They're good at detecting lies and pretense, so any display of those traits will go straight to their "stay away" list. When communicating with them, it's best to keep it real as much as possible. Be moderate with flowery words and excessive praises, it seems insincere and will trigger their suspicion, once they're suspicious of you, they will always in the mindset of looking for red flags, even when they don't exist, their walls will grow thicker around you. They actually like a more intense and straight to the point style of communication. When both of you feel comfortable enough with each other, talking about taboo or deeper psychological topics is welcomed, but mixed it with optimism and light-hearted banters here and there also. Remember, they can be a little contradictory, they welcome heavier topics, but they don't want those to dominate your conversations, they like a deep person but who won't drag them down. You can vent to them, spill out your darkest secrets, and they won't flinch. But they will begin to feel weary if that's the only thing you do without expressing any desire to make the situation better or refusing to get out of what's holding you back. Because through this, they can assess your ability to navigate future problems with them. They will also look at your aspirations, your hopes and plans for the future, it's okay if you're still confused about those, as long as you're open-minded, you can even ask for their advice and help, they like to be helpful.

They actually like it when you're the one doing the pursuing, or at least, show your intentions clearly to them, you can say to them outright that you like them or want to date them, marry them even. If they already have some feelings for you, they will reciprocate truthfully, if not, they will give an honest reply tactfully. As long as you're not being too aggressive about it, they're open to the possibility even if they haven't developed any feelings for you yet.

CITRINE

This person likes someone who is in their power and knows what they want. They like assertive and confident people. So they'll probably welcome it if you actively pursue them. But not in the desperate and clingy way, though, which is what they really dislike. Being showy for the sake of showing off is also a no-no, if you buff yourself up just to appeal to their type, they will probably sense it. They want true confidence, a little of haughtiness even. The assertiveness and directness I'm talking about here doesn't need to be directed only at them and the connection, if you show those traits outside of the connection, it's actually even better. In work, in executing tasks, in speeches, in the pursuit of knowledge, they like someone who has goals, one who dares to dream lofty dreams and is willing to put in the work to make those dreams real. You don't need to be a high achieving person or be a boss or anything, what they look for in a person is the authority over oneself, the drive to success and the vision. So sharing your dreams with them, being efficient, show off a little bit of your achievements, tastefully and subtly, mentioning them only in passing, don't emphasise them.

You can be intense and be romantic as much as you like. It might surprise them at first, but they will secretly like it. Write them notes, send them poems, share songs with hidden meaning, and give them gifts on random days, all of these will stir their romantic heart. They like the feeling of love and romance transporting them out of the boring, mundane world, like those love stories shown in novels and movies. The more repetitive their daily routine is, the more they want to feel the randomness and surprises given to them by someone else. You can do quirky things, invite them to creative workshops, somewhere they can relax and have fun. Be a little unpredictable and casual, but don't play hot and cold, you will find them disappearing faster than turning a page.

Showing your intention early on won't be a problem, but don't put any pressure and expectations on them, just state your intention like a fact, a truth that you want them to know. They will appreciate the freedom you can give them. They will also appreciate your wisdom, a beautiful mind turns them on more than any beautiful outer shell a person may have. Share the interesting things you've learnt, your experiences, especially your travel anecdotes, share what you find beautiful and touching, those things will bring you guys closer faster than any physical flirting.

RED JASPER

I think the best way for you to appeal to their heart is to show your vulnerability in the most authentic way. This person values authenticity above all else, all the messy emotions, the shame and guilt you hide, they want to see them all laid bare before them. This is a way for them to test your resolve and resilience, though they're also attracted to tenderness and vulnerability in a person. They're probably an intense person themselves, so they need someone who can match them, who's not afraid to be real with them. But don't dump your deep dark secrets on them when you're still in the initial stage of getting to know each other. They appreciate courage and a forthright spirit, but they don't want to be your therapist from the get-go. They probably need to feel appreciated too, being able to be real with you too, it's an equal give and take, an exchange between hearts and souls, not a confession session. When they feel that they can trust you enough to tell you their more private thoughts and feelings, this is a crucial and decisive moment, the way you would react and respond will be registered into their mind forever, almost like you're being observed by a judge.

Their mind can be quite heavy with dark thoughts and gloomy outlooks and they need someone who can bring more colours into their psyche. You can show they how to appreciate life's beauty more, gently lead them into a more bright place, let them have the chance to relax and be in the present moment. Something colourful will have that effect on them, you can surprise them with small gifts like flowers and plants, candies, hot drinks, soft pillows, cool water touching their feet, birds, cuddly pets, cakes, things you make yourself, things that can stimulate their five senses more. That would include your clothes or your scent. They need something to be of contrast to their grey inner landscape.

You can also stimulate their mind with conversations about all kinds of different topics, they would probably be interested in esoteric topics, spirituality, personal belief system, the unknown, travel, books. If you guys are not engaging in mental gymnastic, you can go for the physical one, swimming or skiing, roller coaster riding might be their favourites. They need to feel a sense of active and dynamic in your energy, almost like they need a warm light to surround themselves with, someone to add a touch of magical feeling to their mundane existence and introduce them to deeper facets of life.

[lilianne-tarot]

PICK A CARD: Your Sweetest & Most Lovable Qualities ✮⋆˙

I. II. III.

How to Pick Your Pile: Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and look at the images above. Which one pulls you in the most? Trust your gut! Once you choose the image, The number below your chosen image is your pile. If more than one catches your eye, that just means there’s extra tea for you—go ahead and read both!

If you enjoyed this reading, get your own personalized paid reading here!😊🦋

My KO-FI link: HERE 🫶🏻

MY MASTERLIST🫶🏻

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⋆𐙚₊˚Pile I

So, we’ve got, Yeah, I know big cards for a topic about your most endearing qualities. Oh, and before we go any further—let me just say this. I couldn’t pull more than three cards for this pile for some reason. To me, that’s the universe saying, This is it. This is all they need to know. This is the energy of someone who has lived, felt, and somehow turned all the chaos of life into something beautiful, tender, and deeply lovable. But that’s exactly what makes this reading so powerful. You’re not someone whose sweetness is obvious on the surface.

This pile is the softest in a "you don’t even realize how powerful your love is" kind of way.

listen, if these cards were in a different context, I’d be holding your hand and whispering, “Babe, brace yourself,” but here? These two cards are telling me that your most lovable quality is how you handle endings, transformations, and straight-up life-altering moments. You don’t cling when things need to be let go. You don’t fear the crumbling because you know something better is waiting to be built. And that? That’s what makes people soft for you. There’s something heartbreakingly tender about a person who has seen destruction but still chooses to believe in new beginnings. You give off this aura of quiet strength—like someone who’s been through the fire but still keeps their hands warm enough to comfort others. People feel safe with you, not because life is always stable around you (The Tower says otherwise, babe), but because you’ve shown time and time again that no matter how much things collapse, you will always rebuild. And let’s talk about how unexpectedly comforting you are. You’re not the person who hands out surface-level advice like “everything happens for a reason” (ugh, no). You’re the one who sits with people in their mess, in their heartbreak, in their uncertainty, and just exists with them, without judgment. And somehow, through your presence alone, you make people believe that they, too, will get through it. (OMG PILE 1, i wanna give you people such a big hug 😭😭 I seriously felt like crying while writing this pile, the energies were so heavy yet so soft) See, your kindness isn’t loud. It’s not the type that announces itself in grand gestures or obvious ways. It’s the kind that sneaks up on people. The kind that makes someone pause one day and think, “Wow, I didn’t even realize how much I needed them.” You don’t just offer stability—you are stability. Not because your life is always in order (again, The Tower says you’ve had your fair share of chaos), but because you know how to find steadiness even in uncertainty. You’re like a lighthouse in the storm, always there, always steady, guiding people home without needing to be asked. And people adore this about you. There’s something profoundly lovable about someone who makes others feel grounded without even trying. Whether it’s through your words, your actions, or just the way you carry yourself, you give people a sense of belonging. You’re not the kind of person who opens up easily, and that’s part of what makes your sweetness so special.

You don’t hand out trust like free samples at a store. No, honey, people have to work for it. And when they do? They’re met with something so rare—loyalty, unwavering support, and a kind of love that says, “I will stand by you even when everything else falls apart.” And that? That makes people soft for you in a way that’s hard to put into words. People may not always realize it at first, but once they do, they never forget you. You’re the kind of person whose absence is felt. The kind of person who, once someone has experienced your presence, nothing else quite measures up.

So, to sum this all up? Your most endearing, lovable qualities aren’t the kind that everyone immediately recognizes. You’re not “sweet” in the conventional, sunshine-and-rainbows way. You’re sweet in the way that a person feels when they’ve finally found home after being lost for so long. You’re sweet in the way that endings feel bittersweet but necessary. You’re sweet in the way that rebirth always holds a quiet kind of hope. And that? That’s a kind of sweetness that can’t be replicated.

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⋆𐙚₊˚Pile II

Alright, bestie, let’s get into Pile 2 because this reading? Oh, it’s personal. VERY PERSONAL.

So, looking at Four of Cups, Queen of Pentacles, Five of Pentacles, and The Sun, I’m getting such a specific and beautiful energy from you. You’re the type of person whose sweetness isn’t immediately obvious to everyone—it’s something people earn the right to see. Your love, your warmth, your kindness? It’s not just out there for anyone to take. It’s guarded, not because you’re cold, but because you know the value of your heart.Pile 2 people, your love feels like home. They are the ones who will wrap you up in warmth, make sure you’ve eaten, and remind you that you are loved even on the days you feel invisible.

I can tell you’re someone who has felt neglected in the past. Maybe you’ve been that person who showed up for others but didn’t always get the same in return. Maybe you’ve had moments where you wondered, Does anyone even see me? But here’s the thing—this has shaped you into someone so rare, so deeply precious. You don’t just give your love freely—you give it intentionally. And when you do? It changes people.There’s something so tender about someone who understands what it’s like to feel left out in the cold but still chooses to be warm. You don’t just give surface-level kindness; you make people feel safe. Your energy is like a soft, golden light in a world that can sometimes feel too harsh. the Queen of Pentacles energy sitting right in the middle of this spread, i see it as one of the main qualities of yours. You are the nurturer, the provider, the person whose presence feels like a deep breath after a long day. But what makes this so beautiful is that you don’t flaunt it. You’re not out here shouting, Look at me, I’m kind! No, your love is quiet. It’s the type that sneaks up on people when they realize, Damn, I’ve never felt this safe before.

You have this incredible ability to make people feel valued. Not just liked, not just appreciated, but genuinely, wholeheartedly valued. And you don’t do it in a way that’s over-the-top or performative—you do it in the little things. The way you remember the small details about people, the way you check in even when they don’t ask, the way you offer comfort without making a big deal about it. That’s your magic. But here’s the thing—you don’t just give, give, give anymore. I see it in this spread. You’ve learned that your love is not a free buffet; it’s a carefully prepared meal, and only those who truly appreciate it get a seat at your table. And honestly? That’s one of the most lovable things about you. You don’t let just anyone into your world, but when you do? You give them something real, something they’ll never find anywhere else.

Oh, babe, do you even know how bright you shine? Because let me tell you, you don’t always see it, but others do. There’s this thing about you—you don’t even realize how much joy you bring to people just by existing. You might be the type who’s so used to being strong as we talked about how you are used to being neglected so you have now developed this coping mechanism , to carrying your own burdens, that you don’t notice how much your presence lifts others up. But trust me—people see it. You have this warm, radiant energy that just feels good to be around. And it’s not the loud, center-of-attention kind of warmth. It’s the kind that makes people feel like they can be themselves. The kind that makes them feel lighter, freer, happier.

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⋆𐙚₊˚Pile lll

First off, the fact that you got two Major Arcana cards in this reading? Yeah, this isn’t just about your surface-level sweetness. You people are the softest in the way that you inspire other people to keep going.

Starting off with this spread here, and oh my god, bestie, do you even realize how much you carry on your own? Like, I’m not even talking about small worries—I mean the deep, sleepless-night kind of overthinking. The taking on everyone else’s pain while pushing yours aside type of energy. y’all are like a walking contrast in the best way possible. On one hand, you carry a lot of internal battles, but on the other hand, you are the biggest source of light for others. And that’s what makes you so incredibly lovable. Your softness isn’t just about being gentle—it’s about being brave enough to keep believing in something better, even when life has knocked you down. You feel things deeply, and honestly? That’s what makes you so lovable. Here’s the thing: your softness isn’t in being effortlessly sweet—it’s in being brave enough to still love despite everything you’ve been through. You’ve had moments where you felt alone, where you thought, No one sees what I’m going through. But you never let that turn you cold. Instead, you became the person who helps others feel less alone. You are the definition of “I got you” energy—the friend, the lover, the safe space that people don’t even realize they need until they meet you. You make people feel understood, like they don’t have to carry things by themselves anymore. And that? That is rare. Now, let’s talk about The Star—because, DAMN, you don’t even realize how much of a light you are, do you? This card sitting right here tells me something crazy beautiful about you, You make people believe in good things again. You are literally hope personified. i think You people give the best motvational speeches Lol. You don’t sugarcoat things, but somehow you always know the right thing to say to pull someone out of their darkness. You remind people that life keeps moving, and better days are coming. You have this infectious “Why not?” attitude.

And what’s wild? You do this without even realizing it. Like, you’ll say something casually, and days later, someone’s still thinking about it, because you saw something in them that they didn’t even see in themselves. That’s your magic. Your love is quiet, but it’s healing. But here’s where it gets interesting—The Fool. And I love, love, LOVE this placement because this tells me your most lovable quality isn’t just your strength—it’s your ability to keep going. Like, after everything? You still believe in new beginnings. You still take risks with your heart. You still trust that there’s more to life than just pain and struggle. People are drawn to you because you remind them that it’s okay to start over. That it’s okay to try, to love, to hope—even after things have hurt them. And that’s something so rare. Because most people who’ve been through what you’ve been through? They shut down. But you? You open up. You jump, even when you’re scared. You let life surprise you. And that? That’s love in its purest form.

Your sweetness isn’t in being overly bubbly or outwardly affectionate—it’s in being real. In being the person who gets up even when life knocks them down. In being the kind of love that doesn’t demand attention but changes lives just by existing. And that? That’s a love the world doesn’t see enough of.

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Thank you so much for reading all the way through! I hope my reading resonated with you and that you had a lovely time going through it. If you enjoyed it, please like and reblog—it really means a lot! Let me know which pile you chose; I absolutely love hearing your thoughts and feedback on my readings! If my reading resonated you, you may consider buying my paid reading as it would really help me out financially♡

Note: tarot cards provide guidance and possible insights into what could happen based on current energies, thoughts, and actions. the cards can highlight potential paths or outcomes, but they do not fixedly predict the future. this is a general reading so take what resonates!

[euphoria-looney]

Astro!

Yan!Batfam x Neglected!Reader Squid Games!AU

m. list|next

"And goodness knows, The Wicked's Lives are lonely. Goodness knows, The Wicked die alone. It just shows, when you're wicked, You're left only, on your own." 'No One Mourns The Wicked' by Wicked the Musical

Divider creds: (?) and @dollywons

As a kid, all I longed for was someone to play a game with me that didn’t require some form of technology to keep both of us entertained.

Well, be careful what you wish for, because I have reached an all-time low, willing to kill people with children's games to earn money.

How much longer will I spend in this twisted game before getting killed? Maybe this is better whether I win or lose, I still gain freedom.

One choice is just the better option. 

That’d be losing winning.

Sure I would feel immense guilt, but I’d be free from debt… and then what? No longer needing to slave anyway from the amount of money I receive.

What then?

Could therapy even help? They’d probably send me off to a mental ward. 

Who's going to believe I won millions from playing some children’s games?

I looked around and saw the old man again from earlier, sitting alone in a space, I approached him, and he accepted to play with me.

“When I was little, this was one of my favorite games as a child.” The old man told us while we were walking into an open area.

“Really? I’ll be honest, I’ve never played this game before.”

As we finally found a point to play the game, we conversed.

—

“Did we do this to make a pact?”

He held out his hand, his pinkie and thumb sticking out, I laughed, wrapping my pinkie around his, pressing our thumbs together.

“Sir, no my gganbu- I think that’s what they called a really close friend right?”

—

Eventually we went all for nothing, this was the funniest game I ever played… I almost forgot the fact that I was going to die at the end.

��Ah, guess you won, betting all my marbles for your single one. Didn’t see that one coming.” I chuckled sadly.

He held my hand and placed the last marble in my palm.

“Take it, it’s yours anyway.” I looked up at him in shock, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes.

“We are gganbu aren’t we? Remember we swore on it. And Gganbu always shares everything no matter what. You made this all possible.” My shoulder shook, as I could only stare at my shoes, my eyes felt like facets at the point. 

And then I felt these same hands embrace me, and I felt like a child all over again.

“What a great way to go.”

He pulled away, making me face him.

“Thank you. I had a good time.”

I hugged him once again, my tears overflowing on his shoulders.

He let go and I walked out of the gates.

Sniffles were all I could do before I heard the voice behind me.

“I remember my name now. My name is Il-nam. Oh Il-nam.”

I kept walking then flinched when I heard a ‘bang’ go off.

Surrounded by all these dead bodies, and these empty emotions, I pushed forward.

[Player 1, Eliminated]

—

Despite everything, I’m still having these selfish thoughts of staying alive.

We had just played ‘glass bridge’ leaving three of us here, dressed in suits, and eventually I was talking with Penelope, she’s the one that helped me out of the restraint we were in after we left for the first time.

“Hey, [name], just in case either of us can actually make it out of this hellhole, promise that we will take care of each other's loved ones, okay?” 

“Don’t say that, we’ll be okay.”

But she took more damage than any of us once the glass had shattered and was losing blood fast.

“Stay where you are, I’ll go get someone.”

I left and went to the guard or whatever they were, to beg, plead, for a doctor, maybe one that could’ve been on standby, but instead they walked past me with a coffin.

I could only stare at my once best friend standing over her bed.

I ran over there and held her body up, shaking her for some sign of hope.

“No, Penelope, please, no…”

—

Approaching the end game, we ate a feast, so fresh and nicely made, I felt the need to puke.

We place in the field shapes surrounding us, to resemble a squid, this was, Squid Game.

The rain soaking both of us, gray skies, and a single guard on the side.

Astro’s shirt still soaked in blood, his suit back on. He spoke before the game began, a knife in hand.

“I ended her suffering. You know she would have died anyway.”

The tears that once stained my face had been washed off by the rain, and now I could only feel disdain for the man I once knew in front of me.

“That’s bullshit, stop lying. She could’ve survived, they could have treated her.”

He retorted.

“I know what you’re like, you’re the reason I had to kill her. I knew you two would stop all this, so she didn’t die there. Even though we’ve gone so far, just to quit?” 

It seemed so similar to the time back at the manor.

—

“Damian had a lot happen to him as a child, are you going to blame him for this?” Dick sighed Damian behind him with no remorse for the fact I had slashes on my arm, not deep but painful. And though they wouldn’t leave scars, would that really matter?

He held a weapon against me while all I had was a stack of books now discarded and torn on the ground.

“[name]. You’re older than him, he’s still a child. You are the reason for this, it could’ve been avoided if you didn’t egg things on. Don’t blame Damian for your faults.” Egg him on? All I did was try and avoid him.

It wasn’t fair.

—

Now, if it wasn’t high before, my blood pressure had to be spiking. For that petty reason? Simply because he didn’t want all of this going to waste?

“Was that it? You killed someone because this might end?” My voice trembled.

“Yeah! You and that girl would have been the majority you needed to get out! Going home without anything! I couldn’t live with that!”

“And you think that means anything?! What?! one more life on top of the others you’ve stolen isn’t enough, and won’t be enough until you receive something?! You’d rather have one more dead than for all three of us to leave and somehow find another way to bring something, anything home?!” I shouted back at him.

I took my knife out of my pocket.

“It's over…”

“I won’t let you leave here with the money.”

3RD POV

While the VIP’s finally stood up to watch this entertaining last game.

Two people who have developed over time physically and mentally, once friends, were squabbling, fighting with very small amounts of energy, but a passion to win.

Both stabbed the other when eventually, player 456 was able to get the other on the ground and punched him over and over again.

The Waynes couldn’t help but be relieved this was it, they’d never let her go again, they would make up for everything starting with making sure she would be okay.

“Found the location heading there soon!” They heard Cassandra on the other line.

Late, but they would make it.

—

[name]’s POV

I held my knife, before stabbing it into the field, next to his face, before limping over to the goal point, it felt miles anyway, the guard had his gun loaded and aimed at Astro.

There before me was the practical finish line.

I can’t… No, I refuse to if anything, playing this game has fucked me other the head, but I refuse for one second to let this game be the last thing I ever see Astro at.

“I wanna end here.” I face the guard walking back to them.

“Clause Three of the agreement. The players are able to end the game when the majority agrees, so if we both give up,  you have to end it right?” I stumbled over.

The guard spoke on the walkie-talkie while I gazed back at Astro.

“Astro.”

“Back when we went to the same school, we’d hang out together and study before leaving chasing after our purpose that called out for us. Nothing's calling anymore.” After all this time, he still is.

I smiled at him, that once gummy smile I adorned, one that I hated so much.

“Let’s go”

I extended my hand to him. 

“Let’s go together.”

He slowly lifted his hand.

“[name], I’m sorry.” 

And before I could react, he took that hand and grabbed the knife that I put right next to him, and impaled himself in the neck with it. 

Blood gushed out and he choked out blood.

I quickly went to his side, stabilizing his head.

“Astro! Astro!”

“[name]..”

“No, no, don’t speak! Hang on!” I was panicking, this can’t be the end of us.

“M-my mother, please take care of my mom. And…”

“I love you.” That made me freeze my erratic movements, I was sure he could’ve seen my eyes widen.

“Loved you since meeting you.” With that, he closed his eyes and I could only call out his name, and held onto his body, it was getting colder fast.

[Player 218, Eliminated. Congratulations, Player456]

—

3rd POV

“Believe in Jesus or go to Hell!” A guy holding two signs chanted outside in the rain, strangers walking past each other, a white limo rolled up on the side of the street, dumping a bruised and exhausted body on the sidewalk, the same guy chanting untied the girl.

“Believe in Jesus.”

The girl was in the bank depositing 4.56 billion dollars before withdrawing some out. Her hair a mess, eyes sullen and eye bags that dragged down her face, she seemed exhausted. Walking back to the store she once worked at, a sign stated ‘SOLD’ and next to it a reef, “Rest in Peace, Conny Claire, Died too soon, old shop owner that meant so much to many people.” Flowers that surround the message.

The girl that came there for a snack could only sink to the ground in shock, hands rising to cover her face, body shaking and quivering.

Walking down a store alleyway, Astro’s mom approached the girl.

“How have you been, here take some food for the road after losing…” She sighed, and patted the girl's back, walking back to her shop.

“Have you heard from… Nevermind.” 

The girl opened her run down apartment where she once lived and went to see all the old photos in the yearbook of classes she had with Astro and in all of the group ones featuring her, her classmates, and Astro she noticed how in each one he was looking at her, with those fond eyes.

She could only fall onto her bed, her tired state crept on her before she fell asleep.

Some time later, the girl kept her promise to Penelope and helped out her family, then left them with Astro’s mom, leaving a wealthy sum of money, they became a family… somewhat of a replacement for the other's loved one, and the girl left paying off whatever debt any of them had.

The girl was sitting alone at the pond, drinking some alcohol. Before an old woman approached her, a flower basket in hand, it seemed she needed to sell them immediately before they wilted away. The girl reached into her pocket, handing her some money before the old woman went off. 

Picking up the nicely wrapped flower, a card appeared, making the girl stumble at picking up the card before reading it.

Approaching a hospital, card in hand.

It was the old man.

“What is this… Who are you?”

��Pour some water for me. Please, [name].”

And there she sat, anger rising in her, but she couldn’t do anything against the man who made the games.

She sat listening to the man talk, about the homeless guy below them, about how everything he said about himself was true, how he missed the old days, him and his friend used to have the time of their lives, and how no matter if you're homeless or rich both lives are no fun. Then a clock struck.

She looked at the machine to see that his heart was no longer beating, instead a flat line appeared. Getting up, she closed his eyes.

That’s when she finally started her life again. She got it together.

So, at the first place, her life changed at the same bus stop, well across from it, the skies were clear and the sun was glaring into the area. It had been a regular day for her, working at her own company and all.

Maybe that’s why when she unlocked her car and stared right in front of her at that same place, she was shocked to see her father, Bruce Wayne, and his family.

That’s it for this part of Astro! Did you like it?

Also, unlike Squid Game, soon after [name] left, everyone that participated in Squid Games got arrested, which made it on the news, but was looked past after a few months, [name] made gravestones for Penelope and Astro.

Ofc the Batfam got the credit and got even more famous for uncovering this incident, which is also why they hadn’t ‘visited’ [name] and now are just getting to it.

Not the update you expected, but I hope you like it.

Any comments, advice and corrections are appreciated!!!

-ILoveeeMoney

Taglist time! ❤

Also, I love the idea and from fic from both @jellyfishmoon97 and @not-weirdoshrek and a new addition that I'm super happy I bumped into @alilobsessive.

@holysoulsweets @sh4rk-k1d @sillysealsies @loomspuddle @cantfindmelol @alwaysholymilkshake @leitor-sonolento @randomlyappearingartist @beyondblissxoxo @sirairi @yhin-gg @frankie-moon3 @welpthisisboring @yokesmam @bat1212 @enchantingarcadecreation @twismare @delias-stuff @ladylupuscrow @ferchu0406 @c4xcocoa @cruzerforce4256 @anonymoushehehehe @godoreo22 @blerp-22 @facelessisnthere @sirenetheblogger @themightybee4067 @boredselkie @tiffyisme3760 @random4137 @midnightgrimoire @mybones537 @chaoticmoontimetravel @jsprien213 @crazycaoticsimp @elfollaburras3000 @czarinera @tiffyisme3760 @exactlynumberonekryptonite @gwyneveire @k-anaru @a-lurking-fae @nxdxsworld @ryuushou

I think that's everyone who wanted to be tagged, I hope I didn't spell anyone's name wrong and tag the wrong person.

[paucubarsisimp]

baby girl

pairing: poly!oscar piastri x reader x lily zneimer

summary: in which you introduce your new baby girl to the paddock

warnings: none!

a/n: this one got the most votes so here it is! i’ll publish the other ones soon!

the paddock was alive with its usual hum, the energy of the race weekend filling the air. drivers were getting ready, engineers were checking over data, and mechanics rushed between garages. yet, there was a quiet little corner in the midst of it all, where time seemed to slow down.

oscar piastri stood beside you and lily zneimer, his arm around your waist as he gazed down at the small bundle you were holding. in your arms, their newborn daughter was wrapped up snugly in a soft blanket, her little face just visible beneath the fabric. she looked peaceful, her tiny chest rising and falling with each breath as she slept soundly. your heart swelled with love as you looked down at her, marveling at how perfect she was.

lily smiled warmly at the sight of the little girl in your arms, her hand resting lightly on your shoulder. “she’s about to make her first appearance in the paddock,” she said, her voice filled with pride and tenderness.

“i think she’s already been here a few times,” oscar teased, looking down at their daughter with a soft laugh. “just not in the way we usually see people.”

you chuckled, nodding. “yeah, but today is the day we make it official, right?”

“officially adorable,” lily added with a wink, her eyes twinkling with affection as she reached out to gently stroke the baby’s soft, fine hair.

oscar grinned and placed a gentle kiss on your cheek. “you know, i thought i’d never be nervous bringing a baby into the paddock, but here i am, hoping she doesn’t cry during the driver introductions.”

“oh, she’ll be fine,” you reassured him. “she’s a natural. already making the rounds in the pits in her own way.”

lily laughed and squeezed your hand, clearly enjoying the warmth of this quiet moment. “honestly, i think she might steal the show today. i can’t wait for lando to meet her.”

as you all made your way down the paddock, you could feel the familiar excitement of the race weekend, but it was different this time. there was an undeniable sense of newness to it all—everything had shifted with the arrival of your little one, and the paddock felt like a different place. yet, the comfort of being surrounded by friends and teammates was just as strong.

lando norris was leaning against his car, talking with a few of the other drivers. as you approached, he looked up and his face immediately lit up when he saw the little bundle in your arms.

“oh, she’s here!” he exclaimed, pushing himself off the car and striding over with a big smile. his eyes softened when he saw the baby’s tiny face peeking out from the blanket. “hey, little one,” he said in the softest voice, crouching down to get a better look.

oscar grinned and stepped aside slightly, giving lando space. “she’s been waiting for this moment,” he teased, clearly proud of how their daughter was already drawing attention.

lando looked up at you, then back at the baby, his grin only growing wider. “she’s going to be the most famous person here by the end of the weekend,” he said, reaching out to gently brush his finger against her tiny hand. “hi there, i’m your godfather lando. welcome to the madness.”

the baby’s hand grasped his finger for a moment, and lando’s eyes went wide with pure affection. “look at that grip,” he laughed softly. “strong little one already.”

you and lily exchanged a look, both of you laughing at how easily lando had fallen in love with her. “careful, lando,” lily teased, “she’s already got you wrapped around her finger.”

lando straightened up, laughing, and ruffled his hair. “i’m just saying, if she’s anything like her parents, she’s going to be the most powerful person in the paddock. we might as well start the negotiations early.”

as the two of you laughed, a few other drivers came over to greet the new arrival. george russell, lewis hamilton, and carlos sainz all stopped by, each eager to meet the baby. george and lewis made playful remarks about her future in racing, joking about how she’d be faster than them in a few years, while carlos grinned and offered her a tiny race car toy, which you carefully placed beside her in her little stroller.

throughout it all, your heart swelled. your little girl was surrounded by so much love already—by her parents, her family, and the extended family that the paddock had become over the years. you couldn’t have imagined a more perfect way to introduce her to the world.

“she’s going to be so spoiled by all of you,” you said, shaking your head with a smile as you looked around at the drivers gathered around her.

lily laughed and leaned into you, resting her head on your shoulder. “i think we’ve already spoiled her,” she whispered. “but i don’t think anyone minds.”

oscar wrapped his arm around both you and lily, his other hand gently resting on their daughter’s tiny leg. “i can’t believe she’s here,” he said softly, his voice full of awe. “i’m just so happy.”

“me too,” you whispered back, leaning in to kiss the top of lily’s head. “me too.”

the baby stirred in your arms, her tiny lips twitching as though she were smiling in her sleep, and you couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of love and contentment. your family, right here, surrounded by all these wonderful people who already adored her, was everything you had ever dreamed of and more.

today was just the beginning, and you couldn’t wait to see where the journey would take all of you—together.

don’t hesitate to leave a request!

[ruesspam]

An idea that’s in my head constantly is my shadow dragon Rook and Neve having their big head to head after Rook saves Treviso

Rook gives her space for the most part, and lets Neve make little comments about Minrathous, because that’s a fair reaction. Her home was just attacked and a fellow shadow dragon didn’t help! She saved a different city altogether!

Then it gets to a point where it can’t be avoided any longer, and if they’re going to fight the gods, they need to communicate. Rook shows up in Neve’s room like “okay. Let’s talk.” and gives her reasons for saving Treviso. “The crows had just lost their talon. Their military is weaker than Minrathous, Minrathous is more well fortified…”

Eventually, Neve says, “Look. Reason with yourself all you want. Don’t try to make me believe it, just because you’re in love with Lucanis—”

Rook is shocked. “Look. I get that I made a painful choice. But if you think that I put the lives of people, people I love and care about, on the line for the chance to, what? Be with Lucanis?”

And afterwards, Neve is like “I know you’re better than that. It was an impossible choice to make. I’ll try to forgive you.”

And it still takes work and plenty of time, and Rook dedicates a lot of time after the gods have been dealt with rebuilding Minrathous, but eventually I’d like to think they end up really close and always there for each other.

(Plus, added angst from Rook wanting to be with Lucanis, but feeling like she’s betraying the dragons or proving Neve right, thus enhancing the slow burn? I need my phone taken away)

[adamarks]

Good morning Fox! (Letting you know I just woke up in case any of this is incoherent) First of all, I agree with a lot of what you’re saying about the crew and the pacing and whatnot. Finding Ed on a beach WOULD have made more sense for those reasons.

ON THE OTHER HAND, hear me out, I’d say the Izzy line is more important than a throwaway explanation and it was kinda vital for Stede to see him on the revenge.

Firstly, the line. “Seeing as you’re the one who kept his body aboard.”

Frankly, this doesn’t make like HUGE surface level sense, and if it was anything it was supposed to be in conjunction with “I have…. Love 🤢… for you.” But really, what it starts hammering home once again, is that Izzy is the personification of Ed’s coping skills— what makes Ed Blackbeard. Ed was drunkenly keeping his own shambling corpse on board for months. He didn’t want to be there; he wasn’t happy. He had become the “insane shell of a man that’s merely posing as Blackbeard.” The line, like most lines surrounding Izzy, is meant to tell us where Ed’s head is at.

The scene where he tells Ed to go off and become a fisherman -> Ed’s misaligned coping skill of running when things get too real or too uncertain

Izzy throughout season 1 -> Ed’s commitment issues and self sabotage

It’s why Izzy had to die. It’s why we heard “sit with me, Eddie” after Fang says “Do you think you don’t know how to sit with yourself?” And most importantly (to this conversation) it’s why Stede had to go ask Izzy for his tiebreaker vote. It was Ed saying he wanted to leave. Stede awkwardly and miserably standing there was him trying to respect Ed’s wishes etc etc you get me. Which is important! That’s what he’d learned at the end of season 1! He’s listening when other people make their stance on him clear.

As for leaving Ed on the Revenge, a complaint I see often is that we never see the auxiliary wardrobe in s2. What no one seems to understand is that the point was less that SPECIFIC room and more “I have a bunch of secret passages on the ship.” Ed being found in a secret passage in the belly of the ship was our return to the auxiliary wardrobe. It was the “let me let you into the most intimate parts of me, my hidden self” for both of them. Ed never actually left Stede’s love, and Stede is always willing to come meet him at the worst, at the most hidden parts of him. In this way, the reunion couldn’t happen on the beach, they needed to have that “auxiliary wardrobe” moment again.

I don’t disagree that the crew stuff would’ve shaken out better the way you proposed. Ideally, they would’ve just had 10 episodes, not been working with scraps, and would’ve gotten to actually do 2.06 the way it was intended. But I WILL say I think how they did the innkeeper was perfect and that a lot of the Izzy stuff/pacing makes more sense when you see him not just as like Ed’s fatherish figure but as his metaphorical daddy issues. That itself explains everything about the swiftness of his arc, the weird romantic/not-at-all undertones, and makes oooh daddy 80x funnier. Just food for thought. I don’t have a neat way to rap this up sorry xoxo

so let's talk about david jenkins saying the idea was that the crew would dump ed overboard in the mutiny before the writers changed their minds and had him kept in the hold.

he says they changed this for pacing reasons, so that the reunion could happen in 2x03 instead of being delayed longer, and i cannot argue with that, waiting any longer sounds excruciating. so i'm not complaining about this as, like, villainous interference from the WBD suits or anything, although it might be a decision forced by cutting the number of episodes. probably still the right call under the circumstances. BUT i'm interested in it because this explains a couple things that are weird about the plot structure of the whole season as it stands.

so first of all the crew throwing the body overboard just immediately makes a lot more sense because it doesn't actually require them to have failed to notice he wasn't dead. it would be pretty tough to carry the body into the hold and lay him out and cover his face with a lil washcloth and everything and not notice at any point during this that he's still breathing or that he has a pulse. and if they did notice you'd think they'd either finish the job quickly or try to treat him if they'd had a change of heart, not leave him to die slow. however the idea that they would beat him till he stopped moving then immediately chuck the body overboard, that totally makes sense, you wouldn't stop to check if he was already dead or not because one way or another he will be pretty shortly after you dump him in the ocean.

second the line from stede to izzy about "you were the one who kept his body onboard" always bugged me because it feels like it's meant to establish something about izzy but it's really unclear WHAT it tells us about him, in a way that doesn't seem like intentional ambiguity: i've seen people interpret it as a sign of his devotion and i've seen others assume it was a practical decision that the crew should keep ed's body around to claim the bounty on blackbeard. (and i've seen both interpretations from people both in and out of the canyon, so it's not even a normal izcourse divide.) i actually wondered at one point if the purpose was to foreshadow where izzy's arc is going to end by establishing that he thinks it's more respectful to bury a pirate on land than at sea, although if that was the idea it sure didn't work on the people who'd care most.

however this new info from djenks explains it pretty neatly, which is that the reason for the line isn't to establish character stuff about izzy at all it's just there to awkwardly patch a plothole. it's that someone in the writers' room was like "but it doesn't make any sense, why WOULDN'T they dump his body overboard once they'd killed him" and somebody else was like "idk uh maybe we can put in a line about how izzy stopped them or something."

now more interestingly! this also would change something bigger about 2x04. because i'm guessing the idea here would be that ed would have actually for real washed up on an island that looks just like the one in the gravy basket and just never actually gotten up off the beach, and stede would find him there, mermaid scene, and ed would wake up mad and storm off into the woods with where he meets mary read with stede already trying to follow him and the rest of the episode proceeds as normal from there. (and probably buttons would be just, like, hanging around following stede, or maybe he was already acting as a psychopomp and led stede to ed's body, idk, lots of possible ways to play that.)

this means you completely lose the beat of the crew voting ed off the ship. you wouldn't lose the idea of the crew being pissed at him; you could still have the kitty collar onesie probation stuff after he got back. but this is a BIG change.

first of all it solves a big obvious problem LOTS of people pointed out immediately when the episode aired which is that it makes no sense that stede would just stay on the ship after letting ed be exiled. reuniting with ed has been his driving goal for months and it's not even like ed has definitively told him to fuck off, he's just stomping off angry and incoherent and not even clearly in his right mind. but they couldn't let stede actually follow ed on his own initiative immediately, because it would undermine the later fisherman breakup if stede has already established that he's willing to leave his pirate career behind if that's what it takes to be with ed. so you end up with this awkward beat where he's just kind of passively standing there until buttons tells him what to do.

i think there's something even more important it does though! one criticism a LOT of people had about s2 was feeling like the crew all hated ed now and there was no clear sign they'd forgiven him by the end, and also some people had the impression that stede had just overriden the crew's decision (even though he does say he's going to ask their permission; it DOES feel weird we don't see that). now i've said before that i think there was probably going to be a reconciliation between ed & lucius, and by extension the crew as a whole, in the lupete wedding verision of 2x06, and i still think that. but regardless of whether i'm right or wrong about that. even without a reconciliation, this would seem like WAY less of a problem if the crew hadn't voted ed of the ship.

as it is, we have THREE scenes devoted to the idea that the crew as a whole (not just lucius & izzy, who both have more complicated individual relationships with ed) are uncomfortable with ed's presence on the ship - there's the initial one where stede's holding the meat on his face where they're all yelling at him, and then there's the actual walk of shame where they've just voted him off, and THEN there's the youtube apology scene where they're heckling him and stuff. and having three separate scenes like that makes it feel like the narrative is really hammering in this idea of a big dramatic rupture in the whole crew's relationship with ed. but only the last of those scenes was originally supposed to be there! the first two were just thrown into the plot to justify why ed ends up wandering around an island to run into anne & mary! if you only had the youtube apology scene, it would be much more clear that most of the crew weren't really all that mad - as it is, roach and jim explicitly saying they aren't mad feels like it's overshadowed by the weight of the earlier scenes.

(also a minor issue, but i've mentioned before that surprisingly often people think the vote was unanimous. this doesn't actually make sense in terms of the episode, because we know it was deadlocked and izzy cast the tiebreaker. but it is sort of weird, if the idea is that the crew is split on this, that we never get any sign of who voted which way; there's nobody but stede who is clearly presented as specifically not wanting ed to be exiled. which DOES end up making it feel like it's the crew as a unanimous block that wants him off the ship. but that makes sense if the whole concept of the crew wanting him exiled was sort of hastily written to patch a plot hole instead of being a fully developed idea.)

anyway. like i said i can't really complain about this as a pacing decision. but it is really interesting to me how many knock-on problems with the whole arc of the season were created by the change, and how much cleaner the original idea sounds like it would have been.

[bcacstuff]

it is nice to channel your passion into your vocation but it is not good to channel your addiction into your vocation or avocation. In plain English, I think it is clear Sam has a drinking problem.

It's a serious subject. People often joke about drinking, getting drunk, being hungover. And we all know that subject has come up very often in regards to Sam. His friends joke about it (Graham: Sam gets nervous when there's no alcohol within reach, Cait on one of the things for a partner: Borderline alcoholic, Sophie when she had contact with Sam during Covid and told he flew home with a certain airway because the other one didn't serve alcohol on the flight). All told tongue in cheek of course, but.... I think with a certain degree of truth in it.

Your message made me go look for an interview I remember reading a long time ago. It was about Sam training with James White, the founder of Roark Gym in Cape Town SA. James’s responsibility was to get him strong, fit and shredded for his physically grueling role… and his cover model shoot for Men’s Health SA. All while they were shooting S3 in SA.

Part of the interview was about the diet. This is a part from the interview (August 2017):

Eat only in an 8 hour window each day.

As far as dietary advice goes, I have encouraged just about every actor and actress I’ve trained to fast intermittently for six to eight weeks. This involves only having an eight-hour window in a day to eat, with the other sixteen hours being in a fasted state. During the eating window they’re allowed to eat eggs, meat, salad and vegetables. As far as drinking goes, only black coffee, water and sugar free protein shakes are allowed.

People over complicate diet in my opinion. Surely no one reading this article is shocked by the fact that in order to get in shape you aren’t allowed to eat wheat or sugar, or drink alcohol? There’s no excuse for ignorance on diet in this day and age. Ultimately it comes down to being disciplined about what you put in your mouth, chew and swallow. It sounds simple because it is.

(Sam Heughan. Photo: Sean Laurenz/Men's Health)

Choose a treat you’re allowed – in moderation.

If you’re new to intermittent fasting, as Sam was, I’d suggest starting slowly. Try starting with two days a week and increasing to five or six. We allowed Sam to have five units of alcohol a week. The man likes a drink and it seemed cruel to completely deprive him of his one true love. He could choose to drink five whiskeys in one night or have one whiskey each night for five nights. The point is that he didn’t feel like he was completely cut off from the things he enjoys and, most importantly, he also had choice. I’ve found that when people have choice within strict boundaries they respond far better than being told they have no choice at all.

(source)

I also found a video with a live chat between James and Sam, recorded in June 2017 about the training. I can't post the whole video here since it is too long, but this is the part about the diet.

Bit a blast from the past, but I thought it might be interesting to people. If you want to see the whole video click here

[revserrayyu]

3.1 Amphoreus thoughts [part 2]

***Spoilers ahead*** for everything up until the rematch with the Flame Reaver, so turn away now if you don’t wanna get upset. At the time of writing this I’ve completed the full story quest so be wary if I mention any details that may happen later.

Starting off nice and calm with the ladies heading to the hot baths for some fun and sweet lord how did Aglaea become even prettier?? I’m in awe.

This whole splitting of the souls chatter reminds me of Harry Potter horcruxes. Becoming a demigod doesn’t seem like the most fantastical job in the world if it comes with such a big drawback, such as this or having your emotions slowly fade (as seen with Aglaea). I can only wonder what Mydei will have to deal with now.

The teasing just never ends between these two and it’s giving me life. Every interaction they have is such a joy to listen to.

Dang, no wonder our boy couldn’t overcome the trail. He was faced with the most tragic day of his life and all the trauma that came with it.

Okay thank heavens someone said it! Every time Mydei would mention how fear/fleeing/romance or any other word that shows weakness isn’t in the Kremnoan language I wanted to ask him like, okay, so what words are there then??

Mydei speaks so fondly of his fallen comrades. Being immortal really is cruel, and it hurts even more that we walk past all of his buddies again in a memory where they’re so excited to see him return.

At some point, Mydei’s teacher infiltrates the vortex by sorta kinda kidnapping Trinnon to do so and after going through this long spiel about the future of Mydei and the Kremnoans that I truthfully wasn’t paying that close attention to, Aglaea decides enough is enough and doesn’t hesitate to most likely execute him.. until Trinnon speaks up. I can’t lie, I genuinely find it a bit comical how quick this woman is to just end anyone who dares break any rules in this city.

So.. this image. First things first, I love that he uses such language at his father. Secondly, can I trade places with him? I’d love to open my eyes and see this marvelous man looking down on me. Step on me, king~

Poor guy has every one of his people wishing to return home to Kremnos someday with him as their king and yet he’s terrified on letting the miserable traditions continue if he decides to take the crown. It really is a difficult decision. Do you keep everyone safe and unhappy, or allow them to thrive in a world of danger?

Oohhh buddy, why must everyone on this planet be gorgeous?? Her mom is looking like a long lost cousin of Argenti and Himeko.

Not gonna lie but this whole scene with the dolls felt so Sparkle coded that it scared me. I honestly jumped the first time everything glitched out.

Well that’s a bright, red death flag if I ever saw one. Some trailers already gave me bad feelings regarding Tribbie, but this worsens it.

Pfftt, Aglaea has no chill and I’m here for it. Protect your people, queen!

I mean, sure, choosing how you pass on individually on your own terms may be better than losing every part of yourself all at once, but Aglaea has a point too, that seeing the many Tribios clones perish over and over again is a lot harder than having it happen just once and being done with. It’s not an easy situation to be in for either side.

It really is incredible how powerful these century gates are and it kinda reminds me of Finral’s spacial magic (Black Clover) the way it’s able to teleport others and redirect incoming attacks or enemies.

If I wasn’t already panicking then I sure am now! Look how upset and scared these cuties are! They know Trianne’s pushing herself too far for their sake and there’s truly nothing that they could do to stop what happens next, especially after seeing how much weaker she’s been getting recently.

Aaahhh, I knew it.. seeing this scene from the Song of Divine Silence trailer gave me such bad vibes from the moment I saw it! And after learning the whole meaning behind “see you tomorrow” just makes everything hurt twice as much!! Trianne was definitely my favorite out of the trio too.. this is such a bummer!

We interrupt the sudden heartbreak to bring you an adorably surprised Trailblazer.

I do love that Mydei trusts Phainon with his one and only weakness. I dunno how thrilled I’d be if such a literal backstabbing does take place in a future patch though.

Anaxa, the renowned scholar, using his gun as a shield against the Flame Reaver.. he’s doing his best. Forgive me but I do not remember much of this cutscene to know if he ever used the weapon the proper way. I was in a mix of tears and hype at this point.

Bro look at how relieved Phainon is when he noticed that Mydei has arrived to help them with the fight! That’s such a wonderful smile.

Sir, your confidence! It’s extraordinary! And I’m also very pleased with your sudden assistance!

Just two bros, ready to go knock some sense into a common enemy. What could possibly be better than that?

Okay, so I dunno about everyone else, but how did we feel about this fight? I personally had no trouble at all, even when we first fought him at the grove. The way they showcased him during the 3.1 livestream, I figured he was gonna be serious trouble, but I think the Nikador boss offered a tougher challenge. I didn’t even get the chance to see this dude’s big, fancy attack animation.

Look at him, protecting his man. What a good lad. We still dunno anything about what Phainon’s path or element would be, but for some reason he gives Preservation vibes? like I know he wields a giant sword and is quite capable of using for offense, but seeing him defend Mydei like this makes me think he can use it as a sort of counter I guess? Maybe give me a taunt too? Who knows. We definitely need more Preservation units though.

All hail the new king successfully securing another win for all.

I feel like a whole lot just happened in such a short amount of time. Next post should cover the rest of this patch.

[gardenwalrus]

The Beatles speaking about themselves in DISC (12 October 1963) [George & Ringo section here]

[PAUL] We’re not unapproachable… It’s fab - the success and all that - but I wish people wouldn't think that because we’re successful, we’re unapproachable. It’s not true. We’re just the same now as we always were, and I hate it when maybe someone who lives in the same street now ignores me because they’re frightened I’m going to turn my head away.  I think in the last year or so, I’ve grown up a lot. I’m still the same old Paul McCartney, but I seem to have learnt a great deal more. For instance, I know there are times when I must behave myself! When you’re in the public eye for most of the time if you’re caught out doing anything mischievous the comeback’s on the group, and the rest of the Beatles shouldn’t have to pay for any mistakes I make. 

I know it sounds stupid coming from me, but I don’t want to be classified as anything, and if I had more time, I’d like to relax and take life as it comes.  I had a taste of really relaxing when Ringo and I went to Greece.  The only part we didn’t like was having to take the garlic from all the food, and there were times when I longed for a good old steak and chips, or a few cheese slices. I’m on a slightly different food kick now. Bananas, meringues, pancakes and crepe suzettes.  In spite of this I’ve lost a lot of weight in the last few months. I suppose that’s from running around, but as long as I feel healthy, there isn’t too much to worry about.  The biggest moment in my life that I remember is getting my first bike. I must have been about seven.  But the funniest thing is, I always used to pedal backwards and it took months to get me to do it right!

+

[JOHN] I want to write a book… I love doodling. You know, I want to write a book and when I eventually get round to it I want to fill it with Lennon-type ramblings and cartoons.  If I wasn’t what I am today, then I think I would like to have been a cartoonist. On the other hand, if I did too much drawing, I’d finish up with square eye balls to match my glasses! I don’t like specs, but I have to wear them. It’s as simple as that. I chose black square frames because I think they suit me best. I’ve gone right off what you call ‘beatle-neck’ jackets. Got sick of wearing them. Instead I’ve started going in for four button suits with two vents at the back, preferably in a heavyish material. I’m always looking for changes. You get a bit fed up with wearing the same gear all the time. But one thing I won’t change is the colour of my socks. I always stick to black and navy blue, and usually elastic-sided boots.  I suppose my likes and dislikes are the same as everyone else’s. But there are one or two things that make me hopping mad. For instance, I can’t stand it if someone plays one of our records in public knowing we’re there.  Another thing I hate is people who go out and buy all these wild rhythm and blues records without really understanding them but because it’s the thing to do. Maybe I’m biased, but to me, music is sacred. I love it in most forms, and even have an album of the stuff by Stravinsky, along with The Shirelles and Chuck Berry.  I like people to be natural, and perhaps a little offbeat, but not way-out. Those way-out cats are only trying to attract attention. Don’t think I’m hitting back at the groups who are supposed to copy us in dress or music. I just think they’d stand a much better chance by being themselves and, if possible, trying to think one jump ahead. 

[deepseawave]

obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog

Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️

Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D

[teamfortresstwo]

In a life swap AU rather than just a role swap I think it would be sooo fucked up if Patroclus swapped with Theseus and Achilles with Asterius

[jull-reblogs]

I’m glad you’re looking forward to my replies :D

Putting it on the sign in Port Bordemer would make sense!

I get you, learning about other cultures is fascinating! And I’m happy to help with French. I can see how learning about your origins came as a surprise to you, I guess it can change your perspective ^^

This Snapper Marrondine sounds like something I’d like to taste, I love chestnuts too! But I guess almond trees could also grow in the south of Hyrule, maybe somewhere around Gerudo Desert. The Gerudo could use them to make typical oriental pastries.

Haha don’t worry, I understand that it can be difficult to keep track of all the changes I’m making in my rewrite. I guess it’s easier when you pretend that TotK doesn’t exist (and I’ve gotten very good at that 😇).

Well, to me if the Hylians were so defenseless the Yiga would have had no trouble taking over Hyrule before Link woke up. So either they were not that interested in attacking Hylian settlements, they couldn’t for some reason, or the Hylians were able to defend themselves. So why would the Yiga be in a better position to threaten Hyrule now that Link has greatly weakened them and Calamity Ganon is defeated? 

That’s why I think the Yiga are more likely to hide and lick their wounds after BotW than to start attacking again, and they probably won’t show much of themselves before Ganondorf returns. Link/the Sheikah are also likely to give them chase after BotW. And how many are they, anyway? Link probably killed quite a few of them already (even though the game always showed them teleporting away), and I found their numbers a bit ridiculous in TotK compared to the amount of NPCs. They’re like one quarter of Hyrule’s population 😆

As for the monsters, in my understanding they should disappear for the most part after Calamity Ganon is dealt with, and then return with Ganondorf.

About the size of the Hylian population, it is extremely low in BotW but I assume that the game doesn’t show us the total population that survived the Calamity, otherwise the numbers would be quite ridiculous. If Hyrule was a real medieval European kingdom its population could be up to a few millions before the Calamity, so even if 90 % of the Hylians died or fled the kingdom (and that’s huge!!) we would still have a few 100 000 survivors. I guess it would make a lot of things possible when it comes to rebuilding Hyrule.

But BotW only shows us a few hundred NPCs and I understand that doubling or tripling that number without an explanation might not be a very elegant solution (even though that wouldn’t have bothered me had it happened in TotK). That’s why I’ll have Hylians returning from exile as an excuse to introduce new characters and make the rebuilding effort more plausible (though of course it would take some time for these people to arrive). And yes, I want the other races to help ^^

A tavern would be a good option, or a place like the underground shelter in Lookout Landing. I guess it will depend on the importance of these characters and their associated side quests. And yes I was planning to use the quarry and have Mabe rebuilt! Though most of the buildings would be timber-framed as stone would mostly be used for the cathedral, the city walls, the castle, or military buildings. 

To be honest I’m mostly working on ancient Hyrule and Zelda’s quest in the past at the moment (and it’s a bit complicated haha), and then once I’ll be done I’ll move to present Hyrule. As of now I have a few ideas but it’s not very detailed yet.

I was only saying the masks look weird on Hylians, I know they are of Mesoamerican influence (sorry about that). They’re just not what I expected at all. And I don’t know, they don’t even look Zonai to me. Like I don’t see Rauru wearing something like that, but maybe that’s just me? 

Haha your interpretation makes sense, I hadn’t thought about the role reversal. But even without it I too disagree with the whole colonizing/imperialism discourse. Sure I found that TotK’s story was handled in a very clumsy way and Rauru asking another king to join his kingdom is quite condescending, but I guess the intent was to depict him as a benevolent godlike being trying to unify the different tribes and to offer his protection. There’s no evidence that he used violence against any of the tribes or would have done so against the Gerudo had they kept rejecting him (in fact Rauru is the one defending against Ganondorf). The tribes accepted his rule because they believed he was a descended from the gods. 

I’m not saying this is a good story and I can see why people dislike it (I do too). I just don’t think Rauru is the monster some fans are claiming he is, and that TotK Ganondorf is a victim of oppression.

I read somewhere that Ganondorf was inspired by Acala/Fudō Myōō (I had forgotten the name and it took me some time to find it again haha). Is that the mythological being you were referring to?

Well yes in my version the ancient Sheikah would have a design closer to SS Impa ^^ And you’re right about her still being alive 😉 At first I was hesitant about including her because I wanted to avoid having two characters named Impa/two versions of her in the same story, but her presence makes so much sense that I had to. She plays a very important role in my timeline and it makes things easier if Flora can meet her instead of only hearing about her.

You’re right I don’t consider the amiibo weapons to be canon, and I never bought the other items from the Bargainers except for the Depths Set and the Dark Link one (I find enough Bomb Flowers and all on my own haha). So yeah I didn’t care much for them, but maybe that comes with my general lack of interest for the Depths. But what you’re saying about the Sheikah would have made things more interesting! I wish Josha would uncover that kind of lore about the statues.

I agree, I was expecting a Sheikah to take after Mineru and become the Sage of Spirit (but I thought Purah would be the Sage rather than Paya). Though I would also have loved to see a Shadow Temple in the Depths, it would have been so perfect.

Oh you’re right the Miner’s Set could be shaped for a Mogma’s head! And that fits perfectly with what I’m doing 😇

Now to be honest I’m not planning to include the Depths in my version. There will be an underground map with galleries and settlements built by the Mogma, but not this entire reversed Hyrule with Light Roots and everything else. So I didn’t plan on keeping the Bargainers either but I’ll see if I can do something with them ^^

About the Fishmen I checked the Japanese text to see which of the two translations is the most faithful:

過去に赤獅子の王に世話になったらしく [Link]に情報を流し協力する ただし、的外れな情報が多い 万年、肩こりで悩んでいるが 肩こりは、肩を冷やしたらいけないことを 知らないようだ

As I expected I can’t tell if it’s plural or singular, that’s up to interpretation. The part about the cold is present in the original but if I’m not mistaken there’s nothing about old age, 万年 means something like for a very long time/for eternity.

Haha yes I remember reading about that Spanish name for the Fishman somewhere, it’s quite funny. I think Poiscom and Neptunos could be actual names as well, but it’s really ambiguous. The German Neptunos is especially interesting to me, it’s similar to Zephos and Cyclos (they have the same names in German).

I don’t know about keeping Heroes away from the Master Sword, the Links always find it at the right time and no one could have taken it before Wind anyway. To me it makes more sense that the sword was hidden from Ganondorf himself. He can’t take it from the pedestal but he could try to destroy it/undo the seal, as he was trying to do by killing the Sages.

I was talking about the monsters that live on the Great Sea and threaten the Hylians rather than the ones frozen in the castle ^^ If “the gods” could make sure that the Zora wouldn’t be able to live in their magic waters, it would have made sense for them to do the same with the monsters if they wanted to protect their people. But maybe you’re right and “the gods” couldn’t do so because the monsters are made of magic, I don’t know.

But I wonder if the Zora (or a Hylian wearing a Zora tunic) could really reach Hyrule if they dove to the bottom of the sea, I was always under the impression that there was a magical barrier of some sort. Hyrule only gets truly flooded after the King’s wish on the Triforce, and Hyrule Castle has pools and waterfalls which shouldn’t be possible underwater. Link is also moving around just fine. It’s as if the kingdom was under a dome (or maybe the castle only), and to me it doesn’t look like the Zora could reach it just by swimming. 

Wind sure drowns quickly but he has the exact same stamina in fresh water. I can’t remember if the water in Forest Haven is deep enough to swim but on Dragon Roost Island you can swim in hot spring water and the timer appears as well. Sky and Wild also have stamina wheels and they don’t swim in magic water (but sure they’re not sea island kids so they’re less likely to be good swimmers than Wind).

Ganondorf does say something about “vast seas no one can swim across” though, but it’s in contradiction with what I just said about Link being able to swim in the Great Sea as in any other kind of water. He’s also talking about Tetra’s dreams when he makes that comment and is the only one who ever mentions that, so maybe it’s not to be taken literally? At least I don’t think there’s enough evidence in the game alone to come to definitive conclusions, so I believe there’s room for interpretation. And yours is perfectly valid, it’s just not the theory I prefer ^^

Ah yes I forgot to specify but I don’t really want Yunobo, Riju and Sidon to be Sages this time. Since Tulin’s was the first quest I did I was expecting the other Sages to be new characters as well, and I ended up being disappointed that they reused the same cast on top of having the regional phenomena quests at the exact same four locations. I might keep Tulin as the Sage of Wind but I think I’ll do things differently for the others, and I’m adding Shadow, Forest, Light and Earth as well. Also yes Yunobo not having Daruk’s Shield anymore made no sense, and Sidon’s power was kind of useless.

I’m not completely opposed to giving my Sages magic, I just don’t know what form it could take yet. Maybe it will be similar to what we saw in TotK, maybe it won’t. But the purpose of these Sages is not to help Link fight, it’s more in line with previous lore where they were guardians of the Sacred Realm/the Triforce and their true power only activated when they were all awakened by Link. So they could have magic of course, it’s just not what defines them.

I’d also prefer for Link to get new powers/abilities in the dungeons rather than after beating the bosses, so he might not inherit them from the Sages. But I don’t know, I still need to think about it. As I said I’m mostly working on Zelda’s part in the past at the moment. Otherwise yes I think they’re going to stay in their respective temples to protect them and meditate/pray after Link helps them. And echolocation is a really interesting idea for the Sage of Water or Sidon!

Yes Flora’s mark was shining but she’s also supposed to wield Hylia’s power, it could just represent that. I don’t know we’ve never seen anyone use the Triforce like that before. All I can say for sure is that she doesn’t have it my timeline 😆

Oh that’s interesting, people usually assume that Hyrule was founded by Sky and Sun or their children. How much time do you think passed between Skyward Sword and the War of the Bound Chest?

One of the reasons this Zelda will become Queen is because her parents are the Sages of Time and Light and already act as rulers without being crowned, and they also know that Hylia will reincarnate in their bloodline because of Flora (Sonia knows they’re related as she does in TotK). The Imprisoning War just happened and they know the kingdom will need a princess with the power to seal Calamity Ganon.  

Thanks, I’m definitely having fun with this story! And I can’t wait to share more.

Well in Ganondorf’s case being Demise’s reincarnation kind of condemns him to wish for the world’s destruction for no other reason than because this is what demons do, as it doesn’t really make sense for a mortal man to desire such a thing. I prefer to think that he’s just a man consumed by his hatred and thirst for power until it turns him into a monster, it has much more meaning in my opinion. I think it’s a bit different with Hylia and Zelda because their motivations make sense both for a goddess and a Hylian princess, they’re only defending their people/their world against evil and it feels less like Zelda is robbed of agency to me.

People also tend to write Ganondorf as being manipulated by Demise ever since we learnt about the curse. I’ve seen countless stories about him being a good guy or trying to get his redemption until Demise makes him his vessel. As much as I love Hero’s Purpose by MajorLink, that’s what happens in this story and it makes Ganondorf a victim who can’t get his redemption despite trying to. What’s the message there? I much prefer the idea that Ganondorf is turned into a demon by his own hatred rather than because it was a fate he could never escape. 

I understand that you’re fixated on the whole Gerudo situation, things are a bit weird and we never got any real explanation. But I like that they’re such a unique race and I find them really interesting as they are.

Is it stated in the game that young vai are not even allowed to send letters to their fathers? I can’t remember. If so that’s… terrible.

Well, why would young vai talk to older men outside of close relatives anyway? Telling children not to interact with strangers is pretty common, it’s not that weird to me.

It’s okay about the Sand Goddess haha! I’m not saying this theory is perfect anyway, I’m just trying to piece things together and getting contradiction helps.

About the monsters not being an issue all the time, I was thinking of the memory where Link gets hurt after fighting a bunch of Lynels and Bokoblins in BotW. Here’s what Zelda says:

“It seems that, not only is the frequency of these types of attacks on the rise… but the scale of beasts we are facing as well. I fear that this is an omen which portends the return of Calamity Ganon.”

So maybe there are always monsters around but not in such large proportions, and not the most powerful types. We also know that Calamity Ganon resurrects them with the Blood Moon, and TotK Ganondorf was able to summon an army when he became the Demon King. To me that means the monsters need a powerful source of malice to multiply.

I don’t know about the War of the Bound Chest, there might have been a villain that simply didn’t get mentioned. For example what if Ghirahim wasn’t the only demon lord and another took his place after SS? Besides I know you disagree (and it’s also how canon is) but I still have a hard time including Minish Cap in the main timeline. It’s so different and clearly has it’s own lore.

I see what you mean about the Gerudo having male children, but then I wonder why they simply wouldn’t have Gerudo boys. It makes even less sense to me than them having no boys at all?

What you’re saying about the possible genetic takeover of the Gerudo and them already looking bad makes sense. I guess my solution to both these problems would be that in a realistic setting the Gerudo would rarely marry their children’s fathers. Honestly marriage sounds like a bad idea both for them and the men they choose, unless they go against the rules and don’t send their daughters to Gerudo Town. But I believe the majority of them want their daughters to be raised by Gerudo, and at the same time would prefer to avoid that terrible situation that Rhondson, Hudson and Mattison faced. 

I mean I wouldn’t want to marry a man knowing that I’ll have to choose between him and my daughters in a few years, and the man in question likely wouldn’t be interested either knowing that our daughters will be sent away and I might leave with them. Why would a Hylian man choose this life instead of marrying a Hylian woman and being able to stay with his family? He would need to be madly in love with his Gerudo vai to the point of never considering life with another woman.

That’s why it’s much more plausible to me that most Gerudo would leave their city to find partners and then return to give birth and raise their children there. Some men might even travel to Kara Kara Bazaar in order to meet with vai, and since they would not marry them they would still be available for Hylian women later. But of course something like that is not really suitable in a game aimed at children so it’s better to say the Gerudo are looking for husbands.

Oh that’s interesting! I didn’t know that could happen with monozygotic twins. I’m a dizygotic twin myself, I have a twin brother ^^

You’re not discouraging me, don’t worry! Your perspective is interesting and you often bring up things I didn’t consider :D

@aikoiya The post was getting long again so here's a new one!

I knew you were going to answer that saying "this is unfair" isn't real life logic haha (and I agree that life hasn't been fair to Sky and Sun anyway). It's just that such an ending would probably leave me feeling unsatisfied and even a bit robbed, and I think it would require a lot of other changes to be made to the story in order for it to work properly. But anyway you're right, as things are now this would just be happening behind the scenes so what I'm saying doesn't really make sense. But just thinking about it changes my perception of SS in a way I don't really enjoy, so it's not a theory I favor.

Yes in that setting I'm pretty sure that the other Sun would not make herself known to Link and Zelda and would let them have their happy ending. But I think Zelda would likely suspect her existence and know that something is wrong. I guess even Link could notice that the Temple's doors are suddenly open and would ask Impa a few questions.

I had no idea Tingle called Farore the Goddess of Wind in WW, so I went on a little quest to see if I could find the same quote in the French version of the game. Apparently it's in Tingle's description of Outset Island and I never had the chance to play with the Tingle Tuner mode. I can't find the same quote in French anywhere and I don't even know if this was included in the HD remake (I guess I'll have to wait for a Switch version to find out… if they ever release one). This has me wondering if this quote isn't something exclusive to the English version, but I can't be sure and I'd like to know what the original Japanese text says. The French wikis mention that Farore is the Goddess of Wind in WW but don't provide any quote, it just looks like the pages were translated from English but that they couldn't find the same quote in French. It's really frustrating!!

Anyway that's a bit weird because WW already establishes Zephos as the God of Wind, and he seems to be a minor deity compared to Farore. The way I see it, wind is just the element that Farore tends to be associated with, and since a lot of myths might have been lost with Hyrule in WW this could just be a mistake on Tingle's part. I mean this is the game that gave us the Golden Triumph Forks haha.

I'm not limiting Nayru/the Golden Goddesses to a singular domain, quite the opposite ^^ To me Nayru being the Goddess of Wisdom includes different concepts such as order, law, science, magic, etc., and even time (since she's introduced as the creator of the world's fondamental laws), while calling her the Goddess of Time doesn't include all of that. That's why I wrote that I found it a bit restrictive. But sure she could have both titles, the same way Farore could be known most commonly as the Goddess of Courage and also called the Goddess of Wind in some situations.

Oh I didn't think of the blocks from OoT! I would say though that they don't really use any time powers, they're just random blocks that appear or disappear for some reason when Link plays the Song of Time (it's just as absurd as playing the Song of Storms to open holes in the ground haha). But yes they were blue and associated with time, and of course Nayru is too. The difference with Hylia in my theory is that Nayru created the rules of time (if that makes sense) among other fundamental laws, while Hylia's power specifically allows her to manipulate time and foresee the future. In a way I see Hylia as Nayru's spiritual daughter who inherited some of her powers over time (and that's why the color purple she's represented with is very close to blue).

The Master Sword has also been depicted as either blue or purple though, so that asks the question of the true color of all of these things! Nayru is definitely linked to time so it makes sense that the timeshift stones are in Lanayru (and Hylia also doesn't have a province named after her).

"From the edge of time" could definitely just be a poetic way to say that Hylia kind of recorded a message for Link before dying haha. But I find it interesting that she would phrase it like that, I like to see it as a clue.

Well if Zelda simply sent Link to a point further back in time, wouldn't there be two Links existing at the same time in the Child Timeline? But sure Zelda creating a brand new timeline also raises a few questions that kind of... make my head hurt. I'm not sure what happens exactly, I've always wondered! All we know is that Link finds himself in the Master Sword's chamber with the Door of Time already open, which hints at things happening in a different way this time (because he definitely doesn't have the three spiritual stones and the Ocarina of Time yet since this is before Ganon's coup, and the ending seems to imply that this timeline's Zelda doesn't know him yet). That's why I believe Zelda might have done something a bit more complex than sending him to a point further back in time, but there's no way to be sure. The Triforce of Courage is also visible on Link's hand during the ending, and we also know thanks to TP that the Triforce is still separated in the Child Timeline despite Link and Zelda preventing Ganon from entering the Sacred Realm this time. So maybe Zelda isn't able to change everything? It's complicated haha.

Anyway, whether OoT Zelda creates a new timeline or just sends Link further back in time, that's still huge time powers and that's not something Link is able to do by playing Zelda's Lullaby.

I also believe it is more likely that Talon inherited the ranch. True, Talon might not always have been so lazy, but maybe if that was the case the game could have hinted at hit. All we know is that he leaves his daughter alone with Ingo and only comes back after Link deals with the situation, which does not make him look so great. And he only promises to work harder after that.

I'm kind of bad with names so I'm impressed you're going through all of that trouble to rename the settlements!!

I haven't gotten to developping the technology that much yet, but I'm really interested in seeing what the different races could do with it! I love the idea of using the Sheikah to infiltrate the Yiga bases. I wish TotK had done something like that and shown the Sheikah helping Link that way.

Same, I was so excited when I heard about these pirates… and then so disappointed to find nothing more than a bunch of bokos with no backstory.

Vignoble is not related to noble (though I kind of make the association in my mind, especially since vignobles are sometimes called châteaux).

Yes I thought you could maybe use clos! Aquaticlos is funny, it can work! Though maybe you could use the same logic as for the raisins (I love this Raisins de Terre idea by the way, it makes sense!) and say that what the Zoras call a clos already refers to something that's underwater, since that's probably the case for most of what they cultivate.

I don't mind helping you with French, I'm glad to do so! You put so much effort and thought into this, it's really interesting.

[moonjade]

Getting older is such a blessing

[hasmephydoneanythingwrong]

what if i just don’t play arc 2

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[steviescrystals]

my tags on the post i just reblogged got me thinking so here’s my current stream of consciousness