#because now I know better and if someone makes fun of me for my interests they won’t be in my life for very long lol
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Authors Note: So I was scrolling the Tumblrs a few days ago when @lazyturtlehottub put an idea out there that stuck with me a bit so I did my best to get something out there into the world. Hopefully its good. Let me know what you think.
Rating: G?
Word Count: 3033
***
Buck sat in his seat at the LA Lakers game that Tommy had given him tickets to. Tommy had ended things a week before the tickets were for so naturally Buck was at the game alone. He had planned to go with Tommy, so he had someone who actually understood basketball with him. He had requested the day off work so he could go and Bobby had given it to him. Unfortunately nobody else could get the day off so Buck sat in his seat, an empty seat right next to him.
Out of depression, and he had run out of flour to bake something to distract him, Buck had made a sign that sat folded nicely on the seat next to him. If any kind of camera came on him, he was going to be petty and reveal the sign. And he had every right to be petty after what happened. It was so out of the blue. So Buck sat in his seat and just waited. He barely watched the game cause he didn’t have any interest in Basketball. He had never told Tommy this during their 6 months together. Why would he? He had literally tried desperately to get into this pick-up game that Eddie, Tommy, Chim, and a few others played so that he could get close to Tommy. Sure he hadn’t gone again since that one time. He had gotten Tommy’s attention. Plus I think after maiming Eddie, nobody expected him to go again. So he never had to explain how he really didn’t like Basketball.
The game slowly went along. One team having the ball, then the other one did, then they threw it in a hoop, rinse, repeat. Buck honestly never understood why anyone would actually care about this sport. It was so boring. Give him a hockey game. Now that was something to watch. Particularly when the gloves came off.
Slowly the game kept going and Buck was worried that he wouldn’t get a chance at the pettiness he had planned for the game. Then the break in the middle of the game came. Sighing, Buck was bored and was pretty sure that nothing was going to happen when something called a Kiss Cam came up on the video screen in the middle. It started panning around to all the various seats, stopping on what would appear to be couples and they would kiss or make ‘no’ motions if they weren’t together. Then it happened. The camera came and stopped on Buck and the person sitting next to him. The person looked at Buck and started making the No motions.
Buck took this opportunity, like the petty individual he was turning into, and pulled out his homemade sign. It was on bright yellow paper with black letters. The sign read, “My Boyfriend broke up with me a week before this game so now I’m here alone, and I don’t really like Basketball that much.”
A chorus of Boo’s started to ring out around the Arena. Not sure if it was because of the sign or because of him, but Buck didn’t care. He got his pettiness out. Folding up the sign he sat back down.
Then it started. His phone started to buzz but he was going to ignore it. He was at a basketball game and even if he wasn’t having fun or enjoying it, he wasn’t going to be one of those people who spend the whole thing on their phone. The buzzing would not stop. This was going to get annoying. The game hadn’t started back up again so Buck excused himself past the people sitting between himself and the aisle out. He better get this phone stuff dealt with. Might as well just go home if he wasn’t enjoying himself.
He got into the lobby area and pulled his phone out. He was getting bombarded with text messages from Eddie, Hen, Chim, Maddie, basically everyone at the Firehouse. Apparently they had been watching the game during their off time and it just to happens that nothing was going on when he was on camera. So everyone saw it. There were also messages and calls from Tommy but Buck was ignoring those right now. He couldn’t be bothered to message him before so he was going to make him wait.
He started with the Maddie messages. She was his sister after all.
MH: What did you just do? On National Television?
EB: I don’t know what you mean. I just held up a sign.
MH: You just threw Tommy to the wolves.
EB: Nobody who watches this will know who is being talked about. And anyone who does will not care enough to know.
MH: Don’t count on it. You weren’t super secretive about your relationship so lots of people know.
EB: Well we will just have to wait and see won’t we.
Closing down the text thread with Maddie, he went to Eddie, the next most important person in his life right now. It would have been Tommy but that ship sailed a week ago.
ED: That was brave.
BB: I was out of flour. And I was hurting so I decided to channel it.
ED: I wouldn’t want to be Tommy right now.
BB: Why not?”
Eddie sent over a screenshot of what looked like X or another social media site. Buck wasn’t super big on them. It showed a trending tag #LonelyLakersLad and #LakersBFBreakup and several other variants. Some of them had a lot of traction.
ED: You are going viral.
BB: Nobody who knows me would do anything like that.
ED: So you are telling me that you are 100% certain that you never hurt anyone the way you were hurt.
BB: I’ve broken up with everyone amicably as far as I am aware.
ED: And you’ve never kept in touch to see how they are feeling after things?
Buck stopped to think for a second. As far as he was aware he was fine with all his ex-girlfriends. They weren’t in touch anymore, friendship falling off the wayside, but honestly why would they do anything?
ED: Just saying. You might want to contact the recipient of your pettiness. He has been blowing up our phones here.
Buck sighed. Closed the Eddie chat and opened the one labeled Thomas. He hadn’t wanted to keep it the same as it was before the breakup. It hurt too much.
There it was, a lengthy string of texts from Tommy. Words weren’t the greatest thing you could convey emotion through. It was always up to the person reading to get the emotion you were putting into it and more times than not, it was always conveyed wrong.
TK: What the hell was that?
TK: I told you to take Eddie with you to that.
TK: And what do you mean you don’t even like Basketball? You literally forced your way into a game with me and Eddie and Chim.
TK: I know I hurt you. But that was next level pettiness.
TK: We need to talk.
TK: Please answer your phone.
TK: I’ve tried calling you a dozen times. Please just answer.
Buck knew that Tommy had called at least that many times during while he was just messaging his family and friends.
TK: I’m not mad. I swear it. I just want to talk. With words from my mouth instead of my fingers. That way its not misinterpreted.
TK: Please just answer and let me talk to you. Then I won’t bother you ever again.
Buck tapped the name Thomas, pulling up his contact details, and tapped the Call button. At least he could get this over with quickly. Maybe Trader Joes was still open so he could get more baking supplies on his way.
The phone didn’t even get to finish a single ring before Tommy answered, “Evan!”
“You said you wanted to talk Thomas,” Buck replied. He couldn’t stop the smile that came over his face when he heard Tommy call him Evan though. He also knew that Tommy was wincing on the other end at the Thomas.
“What was that all about? I was watching the game at home and I remember saying you could take Eddie and why were you there alone? And what was that sign for?” Tommy rambled. Buck just let him ramble a bunch. A thousand more questions came out of his mouth through the phone.
“If you would let me get a word in I can easily explain everything,” Buck interrupted. Tommy stopped talking for the time being so Buck took that as his time to get his side of things out, “You had just broken my heart. I was feeling petty because I had nothing else to distract me from calling or messaging you. I had spent too many days crying over you so I went to the next extreme. It was probably a little overboard but I was feeling my emotions and channeling them into something different. I didn’t want to turn back into the Buck that slept around to deal with his hurt.”
“I’m sorry,” Tommy said, “God this isn’t great on the phone.”
“Well you were the one who wanted me to call you,” Buck replied, “I was perfectly happy just texting.”
“Were you though?” Tommy’s voice was getting a little catty at this point, “I don’t think perfectly happy people do the stunt you just pulled.”
“Well I WAS perfectly happy,” Buck was just as catty in return, “Until you ended things out of the blue, no real reason except some bullshit about not being your last.”
Buck could feel the guilt through the phone at this point, “Meet me at Fleur Café. That’s close to the arena. We clearly have to talk in person.”
“Fine by me,” Buck replied. His heart started to flutter a bit cause he did want to see Tommy again, “I know you don’t live near here so I’ll get you a coffee for when you arrive.”
“I’ll be there in about 45 minutes,” Tommy replied, his voice was shaking a bit, “depending on traffic.”
Buck let Tommy end the call and then he quickly pulled up the map on his phone to get there.
***
Buck had gotten to the café after 10 minutes of walking so he waited outside for about 20 minutes. He was mildly curious about the X trend that was happening so he downloaded the X app and signed into the account he made about a decade earlier. “@ranchmanbuck” was the username he had created. He was living in Montana at the time and working on a ranch. It didn’t last long. He also only had maybe 3 posts on his account.
It took him a bit to get signed in but eventually he did and #LonelyLakersLad was still trending. Even the official account of the LA Lakers had posted about it. Seems that everyone online was either trying to find out who he was, telling him that they would date him, telling him that it will get better in the end. There was a few that were insane and threatening harm on the person who hurt him. Seeing threats of death towards Tommy by people who didn’t know him was disturbing so Buck closed that app and swore to never open it again. People online were insane.
Stepping into the café, Buck was greeted by the smell of fresh coffee and baked goods. He had grown to love the smell of baked goods since Tommy broke things off with him. It was soothing and calming. He smelled lemon loaf, and cinnamon rolls, and some savoury cheese buns. He just breathed in and then head to the counter to order, “Good evening,” Buck was always courteous to the staff anywhere, “Can I get two coffees, one black, and one two cream, one sweetener,” He looked at the baked goods. He had so much at home but he wanted something sweet right now, “And two pieces of that lemon loaf, and a cinnamon roll.”
Buck paid for his purchases and went to a table near the window to wait. He started to slowly pick apart the lemon loaf he had gotten for himself and slowly ate it, sipping on his coffee at the same time. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Tommy walked into the coffee shop. He looked around and spotted Buck. He quickly came over and sat down, “Hey,” He said.
“I got you a coffee,” Buck pushed the coffee his way, “And some lemon loaf.”
“Thanks,” Tommy took the coffee and took a sip, “You finally figured out how I like my coffee.”
“We were together for 6 months Tommy,” Buck replied, “If I didn’t at least learn your coffee order then I would have been the worst boyfriend ever.”
“OK so we need to talk,” Tommy replied, “But first I just want to let you know how sorry I am for how things went down.”
“Why did you not come back after?” Buck asked, “You just left me there. I figured maybe it was a fight that we could work through but you didn’t come back.”
“I was scared,” Tommy had his head down, “You idealized me. You didn’t see me or the things that were wrong with me. Just the good. You don’t know how it was growing up and just being abandoned by the one person who loved me, leaving me with my father. Or the first man I ever fell in love with leaving me because he decided someone else was better than me.”
“You never told me any of this,” Buck replied, “You kept your walls up and never fully let me in. I only know what you showed me. And,” Buck trailed off. Well he had him in front of him so it was now or never, “And what you showed me made me fall in love with you.”
Buck watched as Tommy’s face snapped up at those words. Buck had been meaning to say those words to him for awhile now. Since the day at the cemetery at least when him and Tommy had a funeral so that Billy Boils would lift the curse. And he did. But just having Tommy there with him made him realize that Tommy was all he needed in life from now on, “You never said that,” Tommy said.
“I mean it though,” Buck replied, “I might be brand new to this whole loving men thing. But I know what love feels like and I know what I feel for you. I realize that I may have jumped ahead a couple steps. Eddie tells me I’m an idiot all the time. And maybe I am. But I’m an idiot that loves you, Tommy.”
Tommy fiddled with his cup, “I’m just scared that you will get bored of me and leave me like everyone else.”
Buck reached across and grabbed Tommy’s hand, “I need you to learn to trust me. I won’t leave you. You are everything I’ve felt I was missing in my life. From the very first mouth static, something about you made me feel complete. And this past week has made me feel worse, like a part of me was missing. And I don’t like how that feels and I don’t want to feel it anymore.”
Tommy looked ashamed, “I love you as well. And there has been an Evan sized hole in my life that I cannot manage to fill,” Buck watched as Tommy looked up, his face setting, “Fuck it. If my heart gets broken, it gets broken,” He whispered to himself, “Evan Buckley, I know I don’t deserve it after what I did to you, but would you be willing to give me a second chance? I’m also an idiot who is in love with you and I might not deserve it but please?” Tommy’s eyes bore into Buck with intensity. This man meant every word of it.
Buck stood up, grabbed Tommy’s face and brought him into a kiss. The kiss lasted longer than either had planned but Buck was not letting go. He wasn’t certain of it but he thought he may have heard the shutter of a camera on someone’s phone. Maybe someone taking some pictures of their food. They did that a lot. As the kiss came to an end, a single thread of saliva between them, Buck sat down again, “We need to communicate better,” Buck said, “Since we want to try again, I ask that if you have problems, or if I’m jumping ahead or saying something idiotic, that you please just talk to me. We can work through these problems.”
“I can’t promise I won’t get scared again,” Tommy said, “I’ve got more trauma than you can possibly imagine. I’m not the ideal gay that you seem to have thought I am. But I can promise that if things get bad for me, I’ll do everything I can to talk.”
Buck smiled, “That’s all I want. I want to know all of you. Scars and all if you’ll let me,” Buck smiled, “Now help me eat this Cinnamon bun.”
***
6 months later, Buck sat with Tommy at another Lakers game. A repeat of the 6 month anniversary. Tommy had originally wanted to do something that Buck would enjoy, but Buck shut that down, “I enjoy being with you and seeing you happy and if it means going to Basketball games then I want to go. Just means in the winter you’ll have to get better at enjoy the LA Kings games.”
“Deal,” Tommy said. So they were in their seats at the arena. It was halftime as Tommy called it. The camera was panning around the stands looking for couples to make kiss. When it landed on Buck and Tommy. Smiling, Buck pulled Tommy into a kiss, as the kiss broke, he held up another sign just for this occasion, ‘We worked things out, so please don’t make me go viral again. #NotSoLonelyLakersLad’. Buck smiled and kept staring at Tommy. The crowd was cheering in the arena for them. Just staring into the eyes of the man he loved.
***
Authors Note: Well that's it. I hope anyone who reads this likes it. Feel free to suggest any titles as I have no idea what to call this. If you have any notes for how I could improve, please be kind about it.
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#me quietly to myself: am i finally ready... to follow the skz people blogs I've been living at for at least a year now anyway?..#I'm with my usual bullshit pay me no mind#people who already know know ajhsjd#this thing where i can't follow new people because the dash seems overwhelming as it is#(and by new people i mean people whose blogs I've been visiting daily for a year yes)#and recently yes im feeling like my dash is actually a bit overwhelming#i sometimes can't even catch up with it after i wake up (a thing that is normal to want and possible to archive)#but also im literally like at the skz people's territory all day every day#spending more time over there than on my dash#like maybe it's time#besides today with the livestream and everything#i was sitting there so cozy thinking like ah we're watching this together it's so nice#the only thing that would make the experience better is me actually FOLLOWING PEOPLE#anyway I'll sleep on it and like again pay me no mind this is the brain issues i just seem to have#still such a funny problem to have#as far as I'm concerned most people on tumblr follow so many more blogs#and i get overwhelmed with just a few#you'd think I'm not having fun on here but thats not true#but i am in fact always have more fun on here when i manage to psspspsp someone with the same interest#i love tags reblogs replies i love these interactions#and the funny little follow button makes all this so muuuuch easier#alas the brain bugs that are eating my brain are never asleep#but still I'm gonna go sleep and im gonna just be chill about all this#thanks for coming to the least making sense ted talk#chattering
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been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)
#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now#that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end#ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes#youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused#more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!!#the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that#aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅#cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better#please someone do this 😭#lee text#hsr#i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end#my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder#but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him#instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now#they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot#so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it#maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because#they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing#we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end#or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e#i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid#is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!!#id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead#OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation#and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying#his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed#these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did!#these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better#lee rambles
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talking to new people again is making me realize that (this is gonna sound dramatic) i haven't lived in five years but what i have done is watch a lot of movies and read a bunch of books and believe it or not that actually makes me an interesting conversationalist in some ways (?)
#and like i say: brf slt#they don't know i'm crazy and as long as you're normal about it having seen a lot of movies just makes you come off as someone who's like#interested in culture i guess. which i am. but it's fun#and the books thing too and also knowing a lot about sociology#i have things to say jokes to make so in two months they haven't even realized i haven't lived a life yet🙏#i didn't even do it on purpose the way it happened is in 2019 i was very depressed suicidal etc then i got better but i was focused on#like...idk. basically getting used to being okay with being alive again? then it was 2020 and we didn't have classes in person full time#until september 2021. that's how it was for university students here. i did hang out with people but no one i LOVED or actually became#close with and it's true that i could have tried harder but i didn't because guys i love being by myself😭😭😭#then three years went by and now we're here. it's fine it's just that i don't have a lot of anecdotes that aren't old because LITERALLY#nothing has happened to me. nothing#that's not true i did talk about something semi-recent to my bff on friday it was about my 'friends' who hated on everyone the same way i#did when i was literally 12 and about how anxiety inducing it was because after a while i was like is this how they talk about me when i'm#not around🤨 i actually talked about that then. january or february 2023#this has been in my drafts for a week and i talked about the post i talk about in that last tag last week when i talked about my mutual who#blocked me that's the post she replied to to give me advice😔#also it's funny i said they don't know i'm crazy and a guy asked me what my favorite tv shows were and i don't know why i actually gave him#my full list like it's funny because like i said they think i like like good movies and good television and interesting books and stuff#and i know the shows i told him made him reassess that (which is fine but it's just funny) and also i told him i'm watching gilmore girls#for the 18th time and he was like you're joking i was like hm...and then he was like no you're being serious because it's way too#precise...and THAT i could have not told him. i was like whyyy did i tell him that...but it's fine#HE HADN'T EVEN HEARD OF SUCCESSION? 34-year-olds...#i mentioned the sopranos a couple weeks ago and my future bff was like what is that and i was like ? then i asked two more people and they#didn't know the show either so i was like i'll ask him (34-year-old) i know he'll know the sopranos and he was like OBVIOUSLY i know#the sopranos it's supposed to be one of the best shows of all time and later i asked if he had seen succession and he'd never even heard of#it? crazy. i mean if it had been anyone else i wouldn't have thought it was crazy but i expected HIM to know succession
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#Doodles#SCII#Damned#ZEX#Crackship#Teisel#Meme#I am on a roll with these lol#I knew adding Teisel to my list was only a matter of time#I am a weakwilled individual with one fatal flaw#Anyway (lol)#ZEX really has his work cut out for him with Teisel haha - it's very fortunate he's so determined and enjoys a challenge 'cause otherwise!#Teisel is hard to pin down - I mean Other Than That lol - he's an interesting guy :0#Rough around the edges and a family man ♪ And if I get to draw long hair and big muscles then all the better hehe#And he has a cute nose! He has the bridge of the nose thing that I like so much!! Yes!!#As for the rest of him - hm! I've only had passing thoughts up to this point and getting into his head is...Something lol#It's well done to be certain it definitely Makes Me Feel it's just hard to ascribe a name to that Feeling just yet#Needs a bit more time to tumble smooth I suppose lol#One thing I know I like because it makes me sad - lol - is ZEX projecting some of his feelings about DAX onto Teisel - unexpected!#It's extremely interesting how despite his deep abiding love and fascination with Otherness he's gotten increasingly homesick#Finding things charming about humans that remind him of VUX! You can tell he's a bit desperate for the familiar :'0#So isolated from even himself ah 💔 Hang in there ZEX!#At least he has some fun distractions hehe ♪ New things to learn and consider! Teisel keeps throwing him curveballs!#Both of them circling each other like ''? Isn't it your turn?'' lol#They both come off as aggressive in their own way and then swing-and-a-miss lol#And then there's how Teisel frames him as far as age goes - or really how everyone does pffft#It is So funny to me every time anyone refer to ZEX as ''old'' now that his age has been more or less established - at least pointed at#The fact that he might not even be in his human-equivalent 50s what is this who this lol he's not old! And Max /definitely/ isn't haha#He is the slightest itty-bittiest willowiest little twink y'ever did see pfft#I have been waiting to use that meme template for someone for ages I am so glad that I finally got the chance ♪
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initially this post had some commentary about interests right now. and then it turned into a ramble about personal healing in the tags. so the interest post is going separately.
#i have been possessed by my fourteen year old self.#except now i am *way* less ashamed of my interests#<- oh wow when you're in a place where all your interests that are unique to you are shamed constantly you stop enjoying them#there were so many things i hoarded as ''just mine'' because i was scared that they'd be stolen from me in one way or another#because either it'd be co-opted and i'd have to confirm to their view of said interest. or i'd be shamed and belittled for enjoying it#there are so many little things now (even wider than like. media interests. like literal aspects of myself) that feel wrong to share becaus#the only way to keep it safe was to keep it close to my chest#there are a few names i'd love to go by but as soon as i think about actually telling someone it i feel like i might#(and sometimes do) have a panic attack about it#which is stupid!!! the people around me now love me!!!! and i love them!!!!!#all that to say. being able to post about armand and dm is kind of like. a rebellion i guess#tvc and specifically armand were so important to me because back then i kind of saw myself in him? v. jaded and disconnected with the world#and seeking someone to bring them forward and into a new space to try and reinvent themself#and wanting someone to love them hard enough that it encompassed everything#i wanted to be what daniel was to armand and what armand was to daniel#<- very healthy way to think about the world and relationships btw <3 i was so normal and fine and this was not a sign something was wrong#god this turned into a bit of a vent thing huh.#i'm not like. feeling big feelings i should clarify. i feel like i'm examining them from a distance and taking notes like a scientist lol#it's a thing of like. knowing how unhealthy everything was and acknowledging that i'm healing. slowly; sure. but i am healing#i got to play a game one of them had tainted last week. it was hard and fun and i had big feelings when i was playing#because it was a little triggering. but i did it. i managed. i felt better for it.#i told my partner about one of my favourite bands back in 2021 and now they listen to them too and that's a little bit of joy#because it was one of the things that was deemed ''bad'' and that i can share that with someone now and feel safe to love it is good#and being able to be as obsessive and hyperfixated as i am right now without it being unsafe is really really lovely#and it is making me lean into it! i can engage with this without guilt! i want to fuck that old man!#it's silly and difficult and big and great and awful and complicated. but it's allowed to be. i'm allowed to be.
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Getting older is such a blessing
#text#personal#I always feel like I’m the same person I was when I was 16. or even 19/20. but I’m really not#I’ve grown so much and I’ll only continue to grow#like I fucking love being 25. I’m sure I’ll love being 26. and 30. and 40. because I’m learning so much more abt myself#like when I was a teenager/early 20s I was SO concerned with how other people perceived me 😵💫#I’d hide my interests bc I thought they were cringey or unpopular. but now? idgaf#because now I know better and if someone makes fun of me for my interests they won’t be in my life for very long lol#it’s embarrassing to make fun of someone for their interests at any age but especially once you’re in your mid 20s#and I have boundaries now! I’ll stick up for myself now! I’ll say no!#this is all over the place lmao but I’m just so grateful to be alive… and growing older and learning more things abt myself and the world#tldr: getting older is amazing and you should fully embrace it
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#so I have officially been to a club/bar now#tag talk#it was a country bar which was actually cool cause they played like. actual old country none of the post-9/11 shit#except everything else about it was ugh awful. music too loud drinks FUCKING EXPENSIVE holy shit stay home and drink instead pleaseeee#it was a work thing but none of my coworkers I'm friends with actually knew what they were doing so while I wasn't actual awkward they were#and the thing about social interaction is that if no one knows what they're doing it's not very fun#I grabbed someone and started a pool game because the table was open and both of us were absolute garbage at the game#but I was laughing about it and they were like... apologetic about being bad?? d#I did have the classic experience though where your friends disappear and you end up alone because you don't know where they went#all in all an interesting experience but not one I'm eager to repeat.#I did get invited to someone's Christmas Eve Party though which is cool and they gave me their number to make sure I have the info#so probably worth going just for that I think. got their phone number so we can communicate so that's like. successful social connection.#we're already friendly at work but easier to talk to someone when you're both not busy on the opposite side of the store with customers#anyway. who tf out going to clubs. awful environment.#I was like.. twenty percent of the way to being comfortable going out and dancing but hard to just swallow your hesitation#and a) alcohol as liquid courage is hmm not ideal and b) it was expensive anyway#oh well. it'll take more time to come out of my shell and I'd literally never been to a bar/club before in my life.#so I'll have some patience with myself and not be annoyed with how I could have done better or been more confident.#literally totally new environment. also... country music was nice but not a group of people I could really be comfortable around yaknow?#Lotta old white straight couples dancing the country two-step so I didn't really feel like I fit in.#anyway. interesting experience. neat to have. if I ever have a reason to go to a bar again I'll know more about what to expect#also... no one carded me. no one asked for ID? aren't they supposed to#oh wait. comment about the yodeling cause it was actual old country but they didn't do the voice register changes for it#I was like WAIT ARE THEY GONNA YODEL FOR REAL??? but then he didn't he just jumped intervals without shifting voice.#was a little disappointing but maybe a lot to expect from a random stage show at a bar.#wait wait I'm also proud of myself because the bartender asked open or closed and my mind scrambled for half a second to figure it out#but then I realized it meant open tab or closed tab like ordering more drinks and then paying at the end and so obviously closed#cause I ain't buying more than the one drink holy fuck it was so expensive also they mix them way stronger than I like#I like my drink weak ass and pathetic. alcohol is like spice I like a little to taste but not a lot. complimentary not overpowering#I drank it and then remembered I never ate lunch so I was like fuck and immediately went and ate something (work party so free food)
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I generally really think that taste is a personal thing and it shouldn’t have to please everyone. If someone likes something and it doesn’t impact my life, then why should I care? I love, tattoos, I follow a lot of tattoo pages on Instagram and posted a tattoo that is in the shape of a heart and looks like a really bad bruise. I guess it’s supposed to mean love hurts or some really stupid metaphor that borderline gives domestic violence, vibes. It is not my body and it does not matter that I dislike it. This tattoo and whoever likes it has no impact on my life. But I really think that people with such bad taste that they think that looks good , just shouldn’t exist. I might be a massive hypocrite but I don’t care. That might be the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I’d be fine with one person getting a shitty tattoo, but having many comments thinking that it looks dope, nope!
#bruises are not a good thing! #why would you want something on your body people will think is painful#showing off gnarly bruise is fun but that goes away and it’s only fun because you got injured and it’s real#I’ve had cool bruises in the past!#last fallen I got a bruise on my knee that was shaped perfectly like a lipstick mark#I thought that was so cool#and it was really interesting because it was completely natural#I genuinely don’t care if a tattoo looks ugly or not but this one does make me want to throw up#ew ew ew ew#Am I being a massive hypocrite?#Oh absolutely!#But I am also right#it gives me the same feeling as people making old fashioned or pretty lived in houses look modern and boring#technically it’s a matter of personal taste and doesn’t impact me but also it hurts my soul and shouldn’t be done#and I’ve seen that done on a kitchen with all the comments being#don’t listen to the haters they just don’t like change it looks better now#and acting like houses that are neater and less colorful look better#so I know many people on the internet have shit taste#but oh my god!#if someone I know I ever got a tattoo like that I would never talk to them again#and I love tattoos#I have been looking up all sorts of them trying to figure out what I want to get#and I don’t like all of them but I understand but that means it’s not for me#some are very clearly just important to the person#or something I wouldn’t get but I guess I can understand why someone else might#I have found some tattoos hideous but not a big deal#ugly in the sort of way where I can see why someone likes them and they look good on some people#if I don’t like a tattoo it does not phase me#but bruise tattoos are gross#in claiming it is a metaphor feels pretentious in a stupid way
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how to start reading again
from someone who was a voracious reader until high school and is now getting back into it in her twenties.
start with an old favourite. even though it felt a little silly, i re-read the harry potter series one christmas and it wiped away my worry that i wasn't capable of reading anymore. they are long books, but i was still able to get completely immersed and to read just as fast as i had years and years ago.
don't be afraid of "easier" books. before high school i was reading the french existentialists, but when getting back into reading, i picked up lucinda riley and sally rooney. not my favourite authors by far, but easier to read while not being totally terrible. i needed to remind myself that only choosing classics would not make me a better or smarter person. if a book requires a slower pace of reading to be understood, it's easier to just drop it, which is exactly what i wanted to avoid at first.
go for essays and short stories. no need to explain this one: the shorter the whole, the less daunting it is. i definitely avoided all books over 350 pages at first and stuck to essay collections until i suddenly devoured donna tartt's goldfinch.
remember it's okay not to finish. i was one of those people who finished every book they started, but not anymore! if i pick up a book at the library and after a few chapters realise i'd rather not read it, i just return it. (another good reason to use your local library! no money spent on books you might end up disliking.)
analyse — or don't. some people enjoy reading more when they take notes or really stop to think about the contents. for me, at first, it was more important to build the habit of reading, and the thought of analysing what i read felt daunting. once i let go of that expectation, i realised i naturally analyse and process what i read anyway.
read when you would usually use your phone. just as i did when i was a child, i try to read when eating, in the bathroom, on public transport, right before sleeping. i even read when i walk, because that's normally a time i stare at my screen anyway. those few pages you read when you brush your teeth and wait for a friend very quickly stack up.
finish the chapter. if you have time, try to finish the part you're reading before closing the book. usually i find i actually don't want to stop reading once i get to the end of a chapter — and if i do, it feels like a good place to pick up again later.
try different languages. i was quickly approaching a reading slump towards the end of my exchange year, until i realised i had only had access to books in english and that, despite my fluency, i was tired of the language. so as soon as i got back home i started picking up books in my native tongue, which made reading feel much easier and more fun again! after some nine months, i'm starting to read in english again without it feeling like a huge task.
forget what's popular. i thought social media would be a fun way to find interesting books to read, but i quickly grew frustrated after hating every single book i picked up on some influencer's recommendation. it's certainly more time-consuming to find new books on your own, but this way i don't despise every novel i pick up.
remember it isn't about quantity. the online book community's endless posts about reading 150 books each year or 6 books in a single day easily make us feel like we're slow, bad readers, but here's the thing: it does not matter at all how many books you read or what your reading pace is. we all lead different lives, just be proud of yourself for reading at all!
stop stressing about it. we all know why reading is important, and since the pandemic reading has become an even more popular hobby than it was before (which is wonderful!). however, there's no need to force yourself to be "a reader". pick up a book every now and then and keep reading if you enjoy it, but not reading regularly doesn't make you any less of a good person. i find the pressure to become "a person who reads" or to rediscover my inner bookworm only distances me from the very act of reading.
#louisa-gc#academia#studyblr#aesthetic#book#books#reading#read#advice#help#university#study#uni#library#bibliophile#it girl#that girl#habits#booktok#booktube#bookstagram
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𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐅𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥
Sukuna
Pairing: Sukuna x f!Reader
Summary: Sukuna's twins are miniature versions of himself which can only mean one thing: they're two little demons.
Warnings: MDNI, family content, fluff(?), dad!Sukuna, smut, oral sex (m. receiving), titjob, nipple play
Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi
Sukuna had to change a lot of things in his life when his twins came along. The man that never imagined he’d become a father, was lucky enough to knock up his girlfriend. Or wife, whatever he gets to call you now. One very unlucky lucky night he decided that protection was a stupid idea, but the universe got back at him to teach him a life lesson, and you ended up pregnant with two– Not one, but two babies.
Sure, Sukuna loves his babies and all that shit which made it easier for him to change into a better person. He’s not a stellar parent or anything, and during the first year of their life he was struggling to figure it out but the job has gotten easier. He’d argue that the job is fun too, seeing the little shits form their own personalities or whatever is interesting.
Though one could say that it’s only fun for Sukuna since the kids are turning out just like their father. For you, on the other hand, it is stressful. Having two children screaming just like their father isn’t exactly fun, not when you have to correct them. It was hilarious to watch Sukuna teach his nephew cuss words for the little guy to run around, yelling the atrocities (nearly giving his father a heart attack); it’s not fun when you’re in the mother’s shoes.
“Fuck you-” “We don’t say that around here!” “Daddy says it!”
“Motherfucker!” “Watch your mouth!” “Daddy told me I can say it!”
It’s a never-ending correction in your home, and it doesn’t help that your husband doesn’t help you out. Sukuna kind of does his part by watching his mouth around the pair, but that’s not enough anymore. They’re almost six, it’s too late for them to unlearn certain words… or other behaviors.
“Stop arguing you two!” You yell from the kitchen, hearing them bicker about something. They’re always arguing because one is mean to the other. Sukuna’s genes are too strong. Luckily for you, you were blessed with a girl and a boy so you don’t have to try again for another baby. You won’t have to repeat this.
“Ugly bastard!” Akane, your baby girl, yells. And you wish it was a moment where you got to think if you heard wrong because your baby girl would never say that, but she would. This one says it nearly daily.
“Akane, if I hear one more word out of you, girl! I swear–” You’re cut off by your husband, startling you as he hugs you from behind. He’s not listening, or well, he is and he doesn’t want you to correct the girl.
“Aren’t you just so proud of her?” He sounds elated, knowing his daughter sounds just like him. If only you could share that sentiment. You push him away and focus on finishing lunch for the little rascals.
“My girl friends invited me out, and guess what? You’re taking over tonight.” You tell him, and Sukuna’s eyes widen. You’ve never made that threat before– Usually when you go out, you take them along or drop them off at someone else’s place because you doubt Sukuna can handle them. The longest they’ve been alone has been an hour.
“Someone will end up getting stabbed.” Is his answer, hoping that it’s enough to scare you into staying. Sukuna loves his babies, but he knows he can’t handle them. He made a grave mistake by molding them into mini versions of himself. Sukuna can’t control himself, how is he able to control two small Sukunas?
“And it’s probably going to be you if you don’t play your cards right. Good luck.” You answer, making it clear that you’re not staying home no matter what. You don’t acknowledge Sukuna as he begins to tell you the horrific sights that you might come home to. Sure, your kids are rowdy and a lot like their father but they won’t burn the house down… if you hide the matches.
“Akira! Akane! Come here!” You ignore him, calling your kids for their lunch. Sukuna sighs, rolling his eyes.
They can’t be too bad…
“Hold his legs!” Akane yells to her brother while she pulls Sukuna’s hair. He doesn’t know what happened, he just fell asleep on the couch and woke up to his arms being restrained while one twin wipes something on his face.
“What the fuck are you two doing?!” Sukuna raises his voice, rightfully so considering the position he’s in right now. He was warned, yet chose not to listen. Sukuna could kick the little shit that’s trying to tie him together but he won’t in fear that he might be too harsh and send the kid to the hospital. Oh, he hates them so much right now but any other time he’s willing to give up his life for them.
“We’re just playing.” Akira answers, and Sukuna could strangle one of the twins right at this moment– Too bad his hands are tied. How is this playing? Are they simulating a kidnapping or what?
“Untie me, now!” He orders, but his words go in one ear and out the other. He’s not mommy, he’s not uptight and lets them do whatever so this must be a joke.
“Quick, grab mommy’s makeup!” Akane yells, and Sukuna clenches his jaw. He’s trying to free himself, but they got him good. He needs to check what the kids are watching from now on because this is worrying for him.
“Akane, let me go before I get angry.” Sukuna threatens, but what can he possibly do when he’s tied up?
“I got it!” Her twin comes into the living room with your makeup bag. Sukuna is squirming, trying his best to break free from his confinement but he can’t. Did they catch him while he was tying you up or what? No… He remembers locking the door.
“If you two don’t let me free in this instant, I’ll make you pay!” Sukuna sounds intimidating, clearly angry at this little stunt. Unfortunately for him, they don’t take him seriously. They fear no one.
“You sound funny.” Akane laughs before pulling on his hair, which makes a cry escape his lips. Oh, he’d love this father thing if they were like you. This whole thing is getting annoying, but not only for him; the pair is getting tired of hearing their father cry and scream. “Akira, grab the tape, daddy is getting annoying.”
“What the fuck are you going to do?! I am your father, you two have to listen to me!” Sukuna is trying his best to break free before the twins tape his mouth and end up killing him. And by some miracle, just as they get their hands on the tape, the front door opens.
He prays that it’s you, ready to save him from the twins’ evil plan. It’s not you, but the next best thing. Sukuna doesn’t waste a second before yelling, “Jin! Stop them before they kill me!”
“What’s happening here?” His brother looks around confused. What did he just walk in on? He got a text from you to check in on his brother since Sukuna would be alone with the twins… and this happens. He sees his beloved nephew walk back with a roll of tape, and Jin picks him up from the ground. “What are you two doing to your dad?”
“They’re trying to kill me!” Sukuna yells, which the twins argue,
“We’re just playing!” Which makes a chuckle come from Jin. It isn’t funny– Well, maybe just a bit. It’s hilarious to see Sukuna get a taste of his own medicine.
“Now, you two, let your dad go.” Jin says, and at that moment they huff and puff. But they listen. He’s watching Sukuna’s expressions, and he stops the twins before they completely free him. “Stop. Go to your rooms.”
“What?! Don’t–” Before Sukuna can finish yelling, they’ve run away. They aren’t going to listen to him. Once they’re out of sight, Jin frees Sukuna and holds the man down, not trusting him enough to let him go.
“You’re not going to do anything to them, right?” Jin sounds as if he were Sukuna’s dad, which only pisses the man off more.
“The fuck am I going to do to them? I didn’t kick the little shit when he was tying my legs because I didn’t want to hurt him.” Sukuna makes a great point, but Jin wasn’t there to witness it. Right now he sees an angry man, and he wants to make sure Sukuna calms down before anything. “Why the hell are you here anyway?”
“Your wife called me to check up on you, and I came just in time.” Jin answers, sitting down beside Sukuna once he knows that his brother is calm enough. Sukuna wants to be mad at you for not trusting him enough to watch his own kids, but he also wants to thank you for saving him tonight.
“Don’t tell her what you saw.” Sukuna quickly says. It’s more of a warning than a request. Sukuna takes a deep breath. He should be asking what the kids were going to do to him– It wasn’t going to be anything too bad, probably just put on some makeup on him or some other stupid trick. They knew he was going to say no if he asked, so they chose to tie him up. The thought isn’t too far fetched considering who their father is. What he’s thinking right now is,
“Why would they listen to you and not me?” Sukuna wonders, and Jin has an idea as to why. “I mean I’m terrifying, but you? You look like you catch jellyfish with a net and work at the Krusty Krab.”
“Ah, they’re into Spongebob now.” Jin can’t help but laugh. He won’t take the insults to heart since this has always been Sukuna. “I feel like they do find you scary, they just don’t think that you’ll do anything to them if they torment you.”
“What the fuck are you saying?” Sukuna isn’t in the mood for this. He can’t just wrap his head around this whole situation.
“You let them get away with a lot when it comes to you. You don’t let them get away with anything when it comes to their mother or other family.” Jin explains, which is valid reasoning but Sukuna rolls his eyes. That isn’t the answer he’s looking for, therefore he won’t accept it.
“Whatever you say. I’m going to check up on them before they flood the house.” Sukuna stands up from his seat, leaving his brother behind. The twins can’t be trusted for too long.
Lo and behold, they found the matches.
“You two came into my life as karma, huh?” Sukuna asks, before taking the matches from their grimy hands. “Akane, go annoy your uncle. Akira, you’re getting a bath and that’s final.”
“I thought you said I could bathe only once a week.” Akira points out the agreement they’ve had, but Sukuna has changed his mind.
“I changed my mind when you and your sister did a kidnapping simulation with me. Plus, your mother says you stink and she doesn’t like you anymore so go to the tub.” Sukuna is not scared of making a little white lie to hurt his son’s feelings. It’s the least he could do.
“Mommy doesn’t what?” Akira’s eyes become watery, his bottom lip quivering at the thought of his mother not loving him anymore. Sukuna would feel a twinge of remorse any other night.
“He’s lying, bubba.” Akane goes to his brother’s side to comfort him. She might be a little devil, but she has her soft spot. She hugs him tightly and Sukuna has to tear his eyes away from the sickly sweet scene. They won’t get to him. “You do stink but mommy loves you. She told us she loved us before leaving.”
“A lie she told you since she’s not coming back because you stink.” Sukuna isn’t going to stop, even when he hears his son cry. The boy pushes his sister away and runs to the bathroom to wash himself to make his mother come back. Hearing his own son cry is tough, but he’ll pat himself on the back later.
“You’re next. Now go to your uncle, ask about Yuji or some shit.” Sukuna looks at his daughter, who is more resilient than her brother. She’s only five though, so he can find a way to get through to her with no issue. “Your birthday is coming up soon, huh? Guess I’ll–”
“I’m going!” She yells before Sukuna can finish his sentence, making a smirk come to his face. Smart girl.
He can handle them for the rest of the night, especially with Jin here.
When you come home, your little demons are sound asleep in their bedroom. You tuck them in, and admire the sight that you never see during the day. They almost look like they were sent straight from heaven. It’s a nice sight to come home too.
Your opinion changes when you enter your bedroom and find your husband throwing his clothes into a suitcase. You’ve noticed that over the past years he’s become increasingly dramatic. You let your presence be known as a chuckle escapes your lips, standing in the doorway.
“Is it because they tied you up?” You question, and a frown comes to his lips.
“I told Jin to not tell you. But yes.” He answers, and you step into the room. You shut the door behind you, locking the door just in case things escalate. “They don’t take me seriously, and I told you things wouldn’t go well if you left me alone with them but there you go, going out with your friends.”
“I can’t stay locked up forever taking care of them.” You respond, and he rolls his eyes.
“Leave them with Jin. They take him seriously.” Sukuna says, and you chuckle.
“Unpack your stuff, baby. Stop being so dramatic.” You tell him, heading over to the bathroom to get ready for bed. That’s not enough for him right now though.
“I’m leaving and never coming back.” Sukuna sounds like a child, which is hilarious. Only those two can get that side out of him. He’ll continue no matter what you say, so you do the next best thing. You lift up your shirt, and his eyes widen for a moment before he tears them away.
“Your boobs aren’t going to work this time.” He claims, and you fix your shirt. He sucks his bottom lip between his teeth before sighing, “But they do help.”
“Come here, baby.” You walk over to him, wrapping your arms around him. Sukuna hugs you back, and he could sob (just for the dramatics).
“They’re so mean.” Sukuna’s head rests on your shoulder, as his hand travels under your shirt to squeeze your boob. “Can you make me feel better?”
“Can you–” You begin but before you can even finish, Sukuna pulls away and throws the suitcase on the ground. He’ll unpack later. You open your mouth to speak again but he grabs the back of your head and pulls you into a rough kiss.
His tongue wanders around your mouth, his free hand going under your shirt once again. It’s an old trick, but every time you show him your breasts, he forgets anything and everything. You don’t do it when the matter is a serious issue, but you really can’t do much about the fact that your twins are straight from hell.
Sukuna sits down on the bed, lifting up your shirt, prompting you to take it off. Once it’s out of the way, his tongue licks up your body before giving your tits attention. He rolls his tongue around your nipple while his hand plays with the other one, pinching your nipple and squeezing your boob. You really get him, knowing the exact way to get him to calm down. He pulls away, and kisses between your breasts until he gets to the other tit. He switches to your other tit and entertains himself once again.
He’s having so much fun, his mouth preoccupied with you but there’s an uncomfortable sensation between his pants. He unlatches, looking up at you with lustful eyes. Your gaze falls on the tent in his pants, making you bite down your lip.
“Help me out.” He says, and you help him unbuckle out. You pull down his pants, freeing his cock from its confinement. You kneel down in front of him, a smirk on your lips. This is a great way to apologize.
You spit on his cock before your hand wraps around the base. You lower your head, tongue circling around the tip as your hand strokes his dick. You start off so painfully slow, too painful for Sukuna. You lower your head, taking as much of his dick as you can.
You slowly bob your head, hands wrapping around the park of his cock that is outside and stroking it for him. It’s like heaven for him, though he just wants to push your head down and force you to take all of his cock. You can take it like a good girl, right? He won’t take any risks tonight.
“You can take it all.” You lift your head, and Sukuna whines. You were barely even doing anything, why did you feel the need to stop? A spark appears on his eyes, a smirk coming to his face as you cup your tits. He judged too soon.
You put his cock between your chest, squeezing your cleavage together before moving it up and down his dick. Sukuna’s eyes nearly roll to the back of his head at the feeling of your tits squeezing around him. He grabs the back of your head, pulling back and telling you, “Open your fucking mouth.”
And without missing a beat, you obey, sticking your tongue out. He spits in your mouth, and you swallow immediately. This is the reason why you ended up with twins– You just do shit that makes him feel every inch of your body raw, a need. You’re so obedient and generous with him.
Your soft flesh between his cock is too much for him, and such a nice sight as he watches them jiggle. You should do this more often is all that he can think as your hands pick up speed. He’s rolling his hips, lightly moaning as his breath gets heavy.
“Good job.” You hear, which tells you all that you need to know. He barely praises you unless he’s close.
“Cum for me, baby. Do it all over my tits.” You tell him, and he bites down his lips to not sound pathetic. Oh, he has to control himself tonight because you might end up with another child. He can’t have that.
His hands grip the bed sheets as he finishes all over you. His cum covers your chest, all the way up to your neck. Your fingers swipes it, bringing it up to your lips simply for his entertainment, but he’s looking for something else in the nightstand.
He could die right now.
“Ran out of condoms, and I’m not risking anything.” He’s in so much pain as the words leave his lips, and you furrow your brows. Since when has this been an issue?
“You can pull out.” You remind him, but that isn’t cutting it for Sukuna.
“I said I’m not risking anything.” He couldn’t make it any clearer. Tonight was certainly… An experience to say the least.
“Can you at least eat me out?” You ask him, standing up from the ground. There’s no way you’re going unrewarded tonight.
“You have a vibrator, work it out.” He shrugs, and you glare at him. He’s pissed off with you again, leaving him with the twins was a horrible mistake on your part.
“You’re such a jerk.” You roll your eyes at him, and hearing him chuckle makes you want to hit him. You manage to restrain yourself, managing to mutter out a simple, “Fuck you.”
“Aw, they get it from you. How cute.” He says, which makes your palm lightly slap his forehead. “Hey! Maybe next time don’t leave me alone–”
“The vibrator is going to do a better job than you anyway.” You cut him off, going to the bathroom to clean yourself up… Getting all dirty and for what?
“If you really want another pair, I’ll give them to you.” Sukuna stands up, following behind you to annoy you.
“Get a fucking vasectomy.” You respond, and you feel his arms wrap around you, stopping you from going any further. Of course he can’t leave you alone. “Sukuna, I’m going to shower.”
“I’ll help you.”
#ryomen sukuna#sukuna x reader#sukuna#sukuna ryomen#jujutsu kaisen sukuna#jjk sukuna#sukuna smut#jujutsu sukuna#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#ryomen sukuna x reader#sukuna x you#sukuna x y/n#ryoumen sukuna#ryomen sukuna x you#sukuna ryoumen smut#sukuna x reader smut
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My unpopular (why) opinion is that Toshiro's and Falin's relationship (platonic obviously) is quite beautiful and if fans weren't so odd about shipping they'd see how very sweet it is that Toshiro started liking Falin when he realised she's an odd but gentle person, when he felt a sense of kinship that he likely never felt before.
From what we see they got along, Falin has a positive opinion of him, on the few instances when we actually see them talk (beyond just memories of them talking but no actual dialogue being shown to us) it's obvious she feels comfortable enough to be completely honest and transparent with him, while still minding his feelings. She likes the guy well enough, she doesn't want to hurt him.
The marriage proposal is actually so interesting... The way they communicate with each other. Falin let's Toshiro down gently, and reveals something so intimate about herself, how she's behaved until now, what she wants to do in the future, that she'd like to visit him again!
And Toshiro is so gentle. He obviously cares about her so much (and water is wet BUT im talking specifically about how it's portrayed in this scene). If what Maizuru says is true, that was the second time he made a "selfish" request ("marry me and come with me") but he simply asks this from her and offers reassurances, "I'll make sure you're comfortable", but he's not you know the Hardass some people pretend he is.
And what I love the most... When she rejects him not only does he accept it gracefully, he's inspired by her declaration that she wants to be more independent. Why did Falin say that? To spare his feelings further? Or because she knew that this realisation, which meant so much to her, would resonate with Toshiro too?
Gonna get personal but. I'm aroace, hello. I've had a few friendships go to shit because someone confessed to me and I rejected them. And exactly one where the person accepted it gracefully and our friendship, after surviving an awkward moment, blossomed.
Like. Relationships CHANGE, and they can develop and deepen and strengthen in many ways, regardless of the dynamic they take on. When aspecs say "friendship can be as important as romance" one of the things we mean is, allow romantic love to go back to platonic love and be stronger regardless OR EVEN because of it.
Like. How beautiful, that these two recognised a bit of themselves in each other, and knew how to approach the other. How beautiful that Ryoko tells us "their friendship survived a rejected proposal, when the commonly used trope would've made their friendship unviable from then on".
How beautiful that narratively Toshiro's sacrifice is never played for laughs or made fun of or devalued because """he didn't get the girl""', but instead the manga says "it didn't pan out but it wasn't a pointless sacrifice because Toshiro genuinely cared for Falin as a person, and always did what he thought was best even when it went against his normal behaviour." How beautiful that Falin wants to meet his friend Toshiro again, that she thinks to tell him "I'm going to start being an active participant in my own life" and Toshiro thinks "I think I need to start doing that too".
How beautifullll that a rejection ended with a promise to meet again, it's so beautiful am I insane? Can someone hear me hello?
The love was there and it mattered, but it's even better. The love shifts and survives because the care is genuine, because when you truly care about a person you'll want them in your life in whatever dynamic suits everyone involved the best. Because love, whether romantic or platonic or a mix of something else entirely, is selfless.
#rambles#toshiro nakamoto#Nakamoto Toshiro#TL;DR I LOVE THE REJECTION AND THE FACT THAT IT'S USED TO IMPLY WHERE BOTH CHARACTERS NEED TO GO IN ORDER TO GROW#I LOVE THAT FRIENDSHIP PREVAILS.... MLP WAS RIGHT YALL#falin touden#nervous about tagging Falin BUT i trust that the real fans will see what i mean#dungeon meshi#dunmesh meta#Toshiro Nakamoto you are SO demi. get behind me and the pack of lesbians you call your friends go smell a flower go look at a bug.#shuro#shurofali#shulin#<- platonic
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# THE BETTER NORRIS ! F1 GRID X ADOPTED NORRIS! READER, SMAU
introduction master list request list
part one, part two, part three.
# WARNINGS : cussing, i know nothing about the parents of lando so everything is fictional. lowercase intended, spelling errors (english isn’t my first language). lando's actual siblings are not really mentioned in this since I don't know anything about them. reader hitchhikes. an excessive usage of emojis such as “🙄, 🤫, 😝, 😭,😊,😉”. reader is 17 in the story btw (the age isn’t really mentioned so i guess you can imagine it however you want)
# SUMMARY: the adventures of the formula one driver lando norris adopted sibling, y/n norris.
# AUTHORS NOTE : this is my first smau (that i’m posting). there’s no meaning behind this story i really just wanted to make it for fun. backstory for how reader (you) were adopted is not explained. reader is kinda of portrayed as bisexual, sorry only like three times. pretend lando is a soccer/football fan (and likes messi). some of these scenarios/comments actually happened to face claim.
# FACE CLAIM : marian guevara/theatomicbabe on instagram (i love her so much)
VOTE FOR FUTURE LOVE INTEREST (now closed)
— instagram !
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 529,289 others
thebetternorris visited jamaica once again, spent every moment with the children and made memorial memories that i will remember forever, thank you @junglenonprofit for making this event happen🤍🇯🇲
landonorris: very cool hair style in the last photo is that your new look?
-> thebetternorris: maybe it is. you should also try finding a new look instead of looking like a washed up mop you have on your head that you call curls
-> carlossainz55: ay no, she got you with that one 🤣
-> landonorris: I WAS LITERALLY BEING NICE. WHY DID YOU COME AFTER ME??
landonorris: since when did you go to jamaica???
-> thebetternorris: since two days ago, man keep up with the times 🙄🙄
maxverstappen1: y/n does your mom know you’re in jamaica??
-> thebetternorris: no.. don’t tell her, she doesn’t have instagram 🤫
-> ciscawauman: y/n norris.. you said you were with friends for this week?
-> thebetternorris: hi mama 😊😊 im with bsf/n. but im on my way home! (max emilian verstappen this is all your fault, im coming after you)
-> maxverstappen1: sorry y/n.. hi mrs.wauman!
-> ciscawauman: hello max 👋 y/n please don’t threaten someone through comments
username1: y/n’s interactions with the drivers will never fail to make me laugh
username2: i love you y/n!!!
username3: will forever appreciate how y/n is not pr trained. her posts and comments heal me
-> mclaren: that will change very soon, sadly.
-> thebetternorris: @.mclaren YOU WILL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE
lewishamilton: good work, little norris, very proud of you, keep doing good in the world 🥰
-> thebetternorris: I LOVE U SIR LEWIS
-> lewishamilton: love you too
-> landonorris: lewis please ignore her
username4: y/n’s reply to lewis’ comment is so real
username5: the third picture is so cute 🥹
view all 5201 comments
april 21, 2024 (dates are for the post above ^^)
liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 661,201 others
thebetternorris 🍸🪩🌃🍾
landonorris: who is that guy in the last photo?
-> thebetternorris: i have no clue, i js chose it because i looked good. i think he was trynna lure me into a cult?
-> landonorris: WHAT?? CALL ME RIGHT NOW
username4: you can always rely on y/n to never disappoints with her outfits 😫😫
oscarpiastri: how come you never invite me to party out with you?
-> thebetternorris: because you steal all the girls and guys too 😕😕 also you’re too old
-> oscarpiastri: i’m barely 23??? and thank you or sorry idk man, you confuse me
username6: y/n’s life is so entertaining
username7: i wanna be like y/n when i grow up
username8: my goal in life is to party like y/n does
view all 6229 comments
april 25, 2024
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, girl3, and 786,929 others
thebetternorris no caption 🌞 👤: @.girl1 @.girl2 @.girl3 @.guy1
girl3: i had so much fun y/n see you soonnn
-> thebetternorris: me too! see you soon 😊😊
-> landonorris: y/n what is this???? what do you mean see you soon???? ANSWER MY CALLS Y/N
landonorris: who are those girls and guy on the last two photos???
-> charles_leclerc: leave your sister alone, as if you weren’t doing crazy stuff this week either 🤣
-> thebetternorris: @.landonorris they have names you know, you shouldn’t just call them “those girls”. i thought mama taught you better. 🤨🤨
-> landonorris: @thebetternorris sorry..?? but you didn’t answer the question.. also please @charles_leclerc don’t expose my doings of this week onto the internet
username9: you’re the loml in a another universe 😔
-> thebetternorris: why not this universe 😉
-> danielriccardo: damn little norris has more rizz than her brother 😭 @.landonorris
-> landonorris: why do i keep getting attacked 💔
username10: having the caption as “no caption” is having a caption
-> thebetternorris: 🤓🤓
username11: does y/n like girls cause that third photo is a bit suspicious LMAOO
-> username12: i think so, especially because of her response to oscar's comment on her previous post
view all 3620 comments
april 27, 2024
liked by landonorris, newyorkcityfc, and 887,292 others
thebetternorris thank you @.newyorkcityfc for inviting me to document the New York City fc vs charlotte game. visiting the new york city fc game made me want to try out soccer, turns out it might be time that i change career path 😝
landonorris: you’re in new york??? since when. and @.newyorkcityfc just invited you???
-> thebetternorris: since two days ago and is that an insult?
-> landonorris: who are you staying with?
-> thebetternorris: man stop asking so many questions 😕
charles_leclerc: weren’t you in jamaica like less than a week ago?
-> thebetternorris: weren’t you in china less than a week ago? why you judging where im traveling, i don’t judge you. you literally fly somewhere each week for your go karting 🙄
username13: y/n’s post are so unpredictable each time 😭 she was just helping children in jamaica and is now at a soccer game in nyc
-> thebetternorris: gotta keep y’all on your toes 🤫
-> username13: toes 🤤
-> thebetternorris: NAH GTFO LMAOOO
username14: y/n becoming a soccer player when??
username15: all of the norris siblings are so talented
view all 2928 comments
april 29, 2024
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 997,929 others
thebetternorris miami grand prix day 2 & day 3 🤙. found out some guy with the same last name as me won? idk but congrats @.landonorris
username16: dang her brother just won his first race and she doesn’t even make a post about him?
-> username17: for real, like everyone congratulated him right after but not even his own sister
-> username18: @.username17 well she is adopted 🤣
username19: it was so fun meeting you y/n!!!
-> thebetternorris: thank you pretty
username20: thank you for the water y/n 😊😊
-> thebetternorris: of courseee, had to give you that rich voss water 😉😉
-> landonorris: you gave a stranger water?? when?? you were with me the whole time???
-> thebetternorris: hey man you gotta start appreciating the people that support you, he was a worker ✊🏼
username21: hey i was the guy you were signing “way 2 sexy” with lolll
-> thebetternorris: AYY MY MANNN, i posted u on tiktok look at it 😉
jamescharles: omg i met you!! you’re gorgeous 🥰
-> thebetternorris: JAMESS HEYYY, i put you in my tiktok 🤙🤙
username22: omg you hugged me, remember i picked you up 😭
-> thebetternorris: I REMEMBER YOUU, that hug was great thanks man i needed that 🫵🏼 posted a full tiktok abt you
username23: your first outfit is so art teacher-coded
-> thebetternorris: is this a compliment or?? thank you though 😭
-> landonorris: @.username23 THATS WHAT I TOLD HER
landonorris: the number of people commenting that they met you is insane. @thebetternorris
-> thebetternorris: what can i say i'm js that guy 😼
view all 6282 comments
may 5, 2024
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 1,000,010 others
thebetternorris congrats to @.landonorris for winning your first grand prix, in america 🦅🇺🇸, i’m so so proud! turns out having an adopted sister isn't so bad for your racing career after all 😜. btw to everyone in the comments section getting their gears all tangled because I didn't congratulate him sooner, chill out. I was busy practicing my own racing skills. yk, just in case he needs some real competition 😴 sorry @.maxverstappen1. i’m so proud of you, i'm forever grateful that i got picked from the “bin” i was found according to you 18 years ago, and it resulted in me being your sister :) 👤: @.landonorris @.oscarpiastri
landonorris: thank you for the congratulations, but did you really have to use those photos of me?
-> thebetternorris: damn you got your congrats just be grateful man 🙄
oscarpiastri: so this is why lando was crying, btw thank you for using a good photo of me
-> thebetternorris: OSCAR ARE YOU SERIOUS. @.landonorris YOU CRIED?? LMFAOOO
-> landonorris: @.oscarpiastri YOU SNITCH.
maxverstappen1: thank goodness you’re not a f1 driver, you’d be some real competition. we need to try go karting together soon 👍🏼
-> thebetternorris: i know this is a joke but thank u max 😔 we should go karting soon so i can beat you at it 😈
-> username24: i would pay to see y/n kart against max
username25: i don't even know anything about f1 but this made me tear up
username26: y/n getting hate for not congratulating her brother is insane
username27: people getting mad about y/n not congratulating lando as if they know anything about them
username28: y/n was one of the first people to congratulate lando, yall are hating a literal kid for smth so little 💀
view all 4593 comments
may 7, 2024
liked by landonorris, leomessi, 1,102,920 others
thebetternorris pov that one unemployed friend on a tuesday (saturday). thank you @.mles for the invite and for letting me meet the goat @.leomessi 🩷🩷
joyboy: finally found someone that is everywhere like me
-> thebetternorris: paris fashion week next 😉?
-> landonorris: NO???
username29: IS THAT LIONEL MESSI??
-> thebetternorris: that’s literally oomf what are you talking abt 🙄
ueername30: y/n is literally everywhere but home
username31: y/n's smile 🥰🥰
carlossainz55: Real Madrid CF>>>
-> thebetternorris: carlos get outta here 😕😕
username32: te encantaría ser un hombre nunca lo vas a ser y eso es lo que te jode (you’d love to be a man and you’ll never be a man and that fucks with you)
-> thebetternorris: @.username32 me encanta ser mujerrr (i love being a womann)
-> username32: @thebetternorris pues lo disimulas fatal (well you hide it well)
-> thebetternorris: @.username32 que es ser mujer para ti? (what is being a woman to you?)
-> username33: SHE GOT YOU THERE 💀@.username32
landonorris: you meeting messi before me insane 😔
leomessi: gracias por tu apoyo 🩷 que chistoso la caption 🤣 (thank you for your support 🩷 how funny the caption is)
-> landonorris: oh you’re joking.
-> thebetternorris: @.leomessi 🩷🩷 (i’m so normal abt this..)
username33: i wanna be y/n's camera man
username34: who is taking these pictures of y/n
-> thebetternorris: for this game, some guy named jarvis took these photos idk but we're homies now
-> landonorris: WHO IS JARVIS???
view all 12920 comments
june 5, 2024
liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1, and 1,293,021 others
thebetternorris i look sunburnt, swear it's just the lights 👤: bustarhymes
bustarhymes: it was nice meeting you little norris
-> thebetternorris: it was great meeting you man, your music is great
danielriccardo: mate i think you need a new cameraman because most of these are blurry...
-> thebetternorris: my pictures look better than yours, you're letting your jealousy show
landonorris: nah bro how did you meet busta rhymes before me.
-> thebetternorris: because i'm better than you
username35: you dead ass look like han jisung omg
-> thebetternorris: thank you, idk who that is but i get that a lot 😭
username34: y/n looks so much like young miko it’s insane
charles_leclerc: you look scary in the first picture
-> thebetternorris: i saw your paparazzi picture from the beach, your shoulders look scarier, learn how to put on sunscreen 😬
username36: y/n’s style is so 🥰
view all 5934 comments
june 30, 2024
liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc, and 1,304,393 others
thebetternorris back at the big apple 🍎🏙️
itsyoungmiko: hi twinn
-> thebetternorris: hey twin, we should meet up soon
lancestroll: how do you travel everywhere?
-> thebetternorris: walking and hitchhiking
-> lancestroll: hitchhiking? be safe norris
-> thebetternorris: yea hitchhiking. not all of us have private planes that our daddy pays for🙄(just joking, love u @lawerence_stroll pls give me money)
-> lancestroll: your brother literally flies private. please don't ask my dad for money 😭
lawerence_stroll: hello y/n, how much money do you need?
-> thebetternorris: HI MR.STROLL, thank you for the offer I was just joking, you're so nice. see you at the next gp 😊
username37: who is that on the last photo?
-> thebetternorris: THATS ME. LMFAOOO
username38: ain't no way you're in new york city rn, you were in florida a day ago.
-> thebetternorris: that's what hitchhiking is for, duh
-> username38: you dead ass hitchhiked a ride from florida to new york city. that's like 20 hours...
-> thebetternorris: “that’s like 20 hours…” ☝🏼🤓
username39: are you gonna go to the british gp?
-> thebetternorris: yes sadly 💔 lando is forcing me against my will 😕
oscarpiastri: don’t forget my keychain pls
-> thebetternorris: ofc man ill give it to you soon 🤙
zhouguanyu24: very cool pictures y/n and cool outfit
-> thebetternorris: HI ZHOUUU, i got you something for you and sweet corn 🥰 thank u for the compliment 😙
username40: future mom lore is gonna go insane
-> thebetternorris: 😈
landonorris: y/n are you ever not in the US. come back home..
-> thebetternorris: USA 🇺🇸🦅🦅
-> logansargeant: USA USA 🇺🇸🦅🦅
-> landonorris: @.logansargeant logan please don’t lure my sister into your cult that you americans have
-> logansargeant: @.landonorris we don’t have a cult in america 😭 well… don’t quote me on that 😔
-> username41: “you americans” is crazy 💀
view all 4402 comments
july 1, 2024
comment to be tagged in the next part 🤫🤫
#lando norris fanfic#lando norris smau#lando norris x reader#lando norris imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 grid x reader#f1 imagine#formula 1 smau#fanfiction#fanfic#imagines#x reader#formula one#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#f1 drivers#f1 scenario#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 fic#lando norris#formula 1#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton smau#max verstappen smau#plantonic#charles leclerc smau#charles leclerc#sister!reader#the better norris series
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omg ive been highly enjoying ur fics and hcs!!! i think u wrote their characters very spot on 🥺 the jail one got me thinking... can i request the lads boys reacting to the reader getting in trouble after punching someone. bc someone talked shit about the boys and wanted to defend their honor or smth lmfao ty!!! 💕
omg anon lemme kiss u on the forehead
I almost did a backflip when I read this, I was so happy to write it. This one took a bit longer to write so I do apologize, but I was reeeeally on a mission to deliver some good plot here
Some are a bit longer (coughSyluscough) but I really hope you enjoy <3
Defending Their Honor
Pairings: Xavier x Reader | Zayne x Reader | Rafayel x Reader | Sylus x Reader
Word Count: 3.9k (oops)
Warnings: Fluff. Angst. Lore references. Reader throwing hands. FEELINGS. Soft Sylus. -Scottie is allergic to happiness.
Masterlist
Note: I got possessed when I wrote Sylus' and probably should have made him his own fic. I am not sorry. It is longer than the others. I am bashing my head against the keyboard. Please forgive me.
☆ “While I’m honored, you didn’t have to do that on my behalf,”
☆ ^ Giggling and kicking his feet on the inside though
☆ He’d also return the favor with no hesitation if the situation was ever reversed
☆ ^ You will NOT diss his lady in his presence
☆ Y’all are def cuddling for the rest of the night as soon as you get home
Xavier really needed to learn to stop taking his eyes off of you when the two of you were out in public.
The two of you had gone on a fun little outing to Linkon’s version of a pop-up carnival. There were games, food vendors, live music, and tons of people. He knew how badly you’d wanted to go, so of course you nearly jumped right into his arms when he showed up at your apartment after lunch and told you to get ready.
So far, it had been good. The two of you had played a couple games, won some prizes, even took chances with a few questionable rides. You had walked around, hand in hand, enjoying each other’s presence and making new memories together.
It had been seconds. Seconds. You were both, unsurprisingly, hungry after walking around for a few hours. Xavier, being the knight in shining armor that he is, had walked up to one of the nearby food vendors to grab a snack for the two of you, innocently leaving you near a blue park bench. When he finished, you had disappeared.
He stared at the now empty park bench, snacks in hand, completely baffled. He did a quick scan of the area, only to see a bunch of people he didn’t know, and someone being escorted to the exit by two security officers.
But that person almost looked like they were wearing the same outfit as you.
Xavier squinted. Surely not, right?
He caught up quickly, nearly stumbling when his suspicions were confirmed. That was absolutely you being dragged to the front of the park.
He lagged behind quietly, saying nothing, but already accepting the fact that your fun carnival date was apparently over.
You were given a verbal warning and kicked out of the park, being told not to come back for the remainder of this year’s visit. If you came back, it would be trespassing.
You were getting ready to text Xavier when you realized he was right in front of you, nibbling on some type of skewer he’d gotten from the vendor. “Sooo…” He began, eyeing you curiously.
“I may or may not have slapped someone,”
His eyes immediately widened, his mind running through every possible scenario.
“What happened? Did someone touch you?” He reached out and grabbed your wrist, eyes scanning every inch of exposed skin for injuries.
“No! No, it’s….nothing like that,”
His eyebrows furrowed. “Then….?”
Suddenly, you were a bit embarrassed. It had been so stupid. How was he even going to react to this?
When Xavier had left you by the bench, a man that looked to be around your age approached and asked for your number.
“I know you just saw me with someone.”
“So?”
“Not interested,”
“Why? Because of that loser? You could do better.”
That was it. That was the reason you’d backhanded the disrespect right out of that man’s bloodline.
Xavier was….so many things. Incredibly kind, thoughtful, and just so deliciously him. You adored him the same way he adored you, and had him on a pedestal that no one could even close to touching. You could do better? Not possible. There was not a soul in this galaxy that was better than Xavier. At least, not to you.
Hearing someone speak lowly of him when you truthfully couldn’t even articulate how incredible he was? Yeah, instant slap.
You kept your explanation short. “Some guy called you a loser,” You said, rubbing your arm sheepishly.
Xavier almost giggled.
“So….you slapped him?”
You pressed your lips into a thin line, the reality of how out-of-pocket the whole thing was finally setting in.
Surprisingly, Xavier laughed. It was soft, filled with fondness and mirth. He pulled you into a loving embrace, placing a soft kiss on the top of your forehead. He'd be lying to the both of you if he said he wouldn't do something similar.
“I’m honored,” He began, his voice muffled by your hair, “but you don’t have to slap people on my behalf,”
“I’ll always defend you, whether you’re in the room or not,” You responded, your tone firm and completely serious.
Xavier stood there for a moment, arms wrapped around you still, feeling like the luckiest guy alive. The thought of you backhanding someone for calling him something as simple as a loser was almost hysterical, yet it filled him with a warmth he couldn’t explain. You were really something else.
After a moment, he pulled back, interlacing his fingers with yours. “Let’s go. There’s plenty of time left for us to turn this night around,”
❅ okay listen I love Zayne
❅ but he's kinda emotionally constipated sometimes (at least on the OUTSIDE)
❅ the logical side of him wants to scold you and tell you that this wasn't necessary
❅ but the emotional side, the side that is harder for him to articulate, is lowkey flattered that you'd go that far to defend his name
Zayne slowly paced back and forth in the lobby of the city’s police station, the only sounds in the room being the tap of his shoes on the linoleum floor and the ticking of a clock on the wall. He glanced toward the clock. It had been 20 minutes since he’d come to retrieve you, and he was growing impatient.
The two of you were in another city for an awards banquet. You’d come along simply to support Zayne, your absolute favorite person in existence (who just so happened to be an incredible Doctor that was receiving multiple awards for his work).
Imagine Zayne’s surprise when the banquet ended and he couldn’t find you anywhere. It was extremely out of character for you to disappear when it came to things like this, especially while you were in an unfamiliar place. This wasn’t Linkon. You wouldn’t have simply left without so much as a ‘congratulations’, not to mention that Zayne had been your ride here.
By the third time your phone had gone to voicemail, Zayne was nervous. That was when he started asking around. He’d pulled up a photo of you, showing it to various employees and asking if anyone had happened to see you leave.
It was a security guard that told him you’d been arrested.
He left immediately, having the directions already pulled up before he made it out to the car.
Now, he paced, an amalgamation of concern, confusion, and stress.
A buzzing sound emanated from somewhere down the hall, and Zayne’s head whipped toward the sound to see you being led out by an officer, still wearing the outfit that matched his tie color.
The red knuckles weren’t easy to miss.
While he did still open the car door for you, he chose a tactical silence for the duration of the car ride. There wouldn’t be a single word spoken until you were back in the hotel room. This was a calculated method by Zayne. He knew you’d be absolutely squirming by the time you guys made it back, and that was exactly what he wanted.
The door to your shared room clicked shut behind Zayne, who’d entered behind you. He leaned against it, folding his arms over his chest. He raised an expectant eyebrow at you, his eye flitting between your flustered face and reddened knuckles on your dominant hand.
It was hard to take him seriously when he looked that handsome in a tux.
“I…may have overreacted,” You finally said, your voice coming out timid.
“Can you go anywhere without picking a fight?” He responded, his tone exasperated.
You swallowed.
“I can…”
Zayne took a steadying breath. He moved from the door and took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Tell me what happened,”
You had been out looking at all of the posters on the wall, reading the lists of different accomplishments and awards printed under each attendee, waiting for the banquet to end. Zayne had already received his awards, but was still backstage and not allowed to leave. Some of the audience, including you, had stepped out of the auditorium throughout the banquet. You had originally just wanted some air. The auditorium had been stuffy, and the fancy outfit you had on was not helping.
While you were out admiring the different posters, you heard a woman making some pretty rude comments about the poster she and her friends were in front of. At first, you just scoffed. You couldn’t imagine being so bitter. Was it so hard to be supportive of others, even if they weren’t the one you came for?
And then, you realized which poster she was standing in front of.
Zayne.
Imagine this: You happen to be involved with an incredibly smart, talented, and stunning man that just so happens to be a Chief Cardiac Surgeon at only 27 years old. The same man that has made evolutionary discoveries and progress in treating cardiac abnormalities. The same man that you absolutely adored, and wanted nothing but the absolute best for. All of this is great, right? Now imagine hearing someone say something completely horrible about him right in front of you.
At first, the confrontation had started off as just a scolding. You’d told the woman that it wasn’t right to say horrible things about the attendees. They all did such incredible things that they were receiving awards for, after all. This was not the place for such behavior.
And then, she just….kept going.
Before long, you’d quickly ended the conversation with an abrupt bitch-slap. Security had already been approaching when your hand connected with her face. You weren’t going to tell Zayne this, but you’d actually gotten tackled.
You gave Zayne the shortened version of the story, leaving out all of the gushing.
Initially, he was quiet again as he tried to process what you’d just told him.
Lady. Talking bad. Zayne. Slap.
For a moment, he couldn’t understand why you’d even resort to that. But when he looked at you, looking at him with eyes full of love and respect, he softened a little. While he didn’t necessarily agree with your methods, who was he to dictate how a person should react to any scenario?
He patted the spot next to him, still trying to form an appropriate response. You sat willingly, leaning into his side. He looped an arm around your waist.
You sat in silence for a few minutes longer before he finally spoke.
“The logical part of me should scold you, (Y/N). That was a bit overboard,”
You looked up at him. His words implied that the logical part of him wasn’t the one that was winning whatever internal battle he had going on. “And what does the other part of you think?”
He sighed, pressing his forehead against yours. “Truthfully?”
You nodded, nearly melting at the sudden affection. His lips showed the faintest hint of a smile. “Truthfully, I’m flattered,”
❀yk how Raf blushes and pouts when you do the Heartbeat interaction??
❀ yeahhhh
❀ but also.....feelings
When Rafayel learned you’d been thrown out of his newest exhibition, he was initially pretty offended. He didn’t even want to be there to begin with. You were the only reason he’d forced himself to come, though he’d never admit it out loud. He had an arsenal of complaints ready to fire off the second he met you outside, after he reasoned with security, of course.
It was Thomas who had weaved through the crowd, placed an urgent hand on Rafayel’s shoulder, and leaned close to speak for only the artist’s ears: “Security just dragged (Y/N) out of here. She hit someone,”
The confrontation had luckily gone mostly unnoticed. It happened quick, and security had whisked you out. You’d gone willingly, and the man you’d struck no longer felt like sticking around either.
Somewhere during the short walk from the back of the building to the front doors, your reason for lashing out had gotten lost in translation. Rafayel was under the impression that you’d thrown hands because someone had dissed his art.
That, however, was an unfortunate misunderstanding.
It wasn’t his art that the man had described as ‘worthless.’ It was Rafayel.
Rafayel had smooth-talked security into letting you come back inside, with the condition that you would not be a problem for the remainder of the night.
Rafayel had been flattered, but definitely thought you’d overreacted.
“Not everyone can say they have a bodyguard this protective over art,” He teased, casting an amused glance in your direction. “Think we can make it through the rest of today without another attack?”
You’d rolled your eyes, still a bit peeved. Who the hell comes to an exhibit specifically to dog the artist, anyway? “That’s not even what happened,” You grumbled.
“People critique art all the tiiime. That doesn’t mean they should get assaulted over it,”
“It’s different,”
“I’m just saying. I’ve never punched anyone at an art gallery. Maybe you’re taking the Bodyguard title too seriously,”
“Rafayel. You were the art,”
Rafayel came to an abrupt stop, the air seemingly vanishing from his lungs. He’d heard you. He’d definitely heard you. His brain, however, was doing backflips, struggling to process your last sentence.
You were the art.
The gears clicked into place, his cheeks burning hotter and hotter with each passing second. In all honesty, he was conflicted. He was torn between the all-encompassing warmth, the feeling of being appreciated and thought so highly of that you would deck someone in the face purely for speaking ill on his name. The other half of him felt almost bitter.
You were that same silly girl with a bad memory. And yet, here you were, fighting someone off of instinct when they said something nasty about him.
You could do that, yet there was so much you couldn’t remember.
He was in a war with his thoughts and emotions, and unbeknownst to you, you were once again the cause.
He finally collected himself, masking the emotional roller coaster he’d just been on with a chuckle. He patted the top of your head, settling on a teasing comment rather than risking opening the floodgates.
“You’re so weird, Miss Bodyguard,”
Rafayel would end up finding you in every lifetime, over and over again, no matter the cost. He’d remember every promise, every touch, every stolen moment. Yet, in every single timeline, you always found a way to make his head spin and his heart do cartwheels in his chest.
This would forever stick out as one of those moments.
⟡ Soft Sylus.
⟡ Soft Sylus.
⟡ SOFT SYLUS.
Sylus had invited you to tag along on yet another negotiation. He’d claimed he just liked having you at his side, but he truthfully respected your input more than he’d admit out loud. He’d often bring you along under the guise of keeping him company, but would subtly pay attention to your body language and facial expressions. If you weren’t going to bite, neither was he.
After the first negotiation you attended, you as Sylus’ +1 became a much more frequent occurrence. As long as he was in the room, your safety was guaranteed. Not to mention how a lot of potential deals went off a little smoother when you were in the room to ease the tension.
Today, the two of you were headed to a hotel a few cities away to meet with a man named Michael. You didn’t have many details about the deal, but you had the basics. If there was anything you needed to know, Sylus would tell you.
It had taken you exactly 6 seconds after entering the room to decide that you did not like Michael. There was just something about him that had already gotten on your nerves. The arrogance? The ‘up-to-no-good’ vibe he absolutely reeked of? The way he looked at the two of you like you were nothing more than pests the moment you walked in?
While it was just you and Sylus on your side of the bargain, Michael had 6 armed guards scattered through the room, which added to your irritation. Michael was clearly a man that thrived off intimidation, yet was too cowardly to have an even playing field.
Sylus never lost his nonchalance. He strode in like he had nothing to lose, suave and unbothered. He kept a hand pressed lightly against the small of your back as he guided you to a seat, a silent reassurance that everything would be fine.
The meeting had began, but not without Sylus catching how your mood had soured considerably within the first 10 minutes.
The more Michael talked, the shadier the whole ordeal seemed. He was boasting about some modified protocore that was the ‘best on the market,’ and trying to goad Sylus into purchasing it.
Sylus wasn’t dumb by any means. But Sylus was also a man that would humor someone for his own entertainment. “Show it to me,” He said, his tone even.
One of the guards gestured for Sylus to follow, and he immediately turned to you, waiting for you to come as well. Instead, you shook your head. You didn’t want to risk being ambushed when you came back if both of you left. Sylus trusted your judgment, knowing that he would be gone for less than 5 minutes. With a quiet “Behave,” cast in your direction, he disappeared with the guard.
The second the door shut behind him, Michael turned to one of his guards and said something you probably weren’t supposed to hear. “I’m going to walk that bastard like a dog, just watch.”
Oh?
In hindsight, it would have been better to keep your mouth shut. All you had to do was give Sylus a signal when he returned, and he would call this off with no hesitation. Your opinion mattered, after all. He didn’t just bring you to these meetings to serve as eye candy. Knowing this, you should have just brushed Michael’s comment off. However, it had gotten under your skin in a way you couldn’t shake off. The words were leaving your mouth before you could stop them.
“I’d like to see you try,”
Michael, and all 5 of his remaining guards, immediately looked at you as if locking onto a target. The tension in the room intensified considerably.
Michael scoffed, looking at you as if you were a bug he’d stepped on. You glanced toward the door Sylus had stepped out of moments before, half expecting him to be standing there with an amused smirk on his face. He wasn’t, though.
Michael was on his feet, taking slow steps toward the chair you were sitting in. Despite the shaking in your fingers, you stayed put. “You must think so highly of him,” He drawled, zeroing in on you. “I didn’t know a man like that could catch the attention of a pretty thing like you,”
You didn’t know why, but your anger was rising with each passing second. The implication of his words was clear, but you wanted to hear him say it. It was obvious that he thought of himself higher than Sylus, and clearly didn’t have many polite thoughts about him. You and Sylus weren’t necessarily a… ‘thing,’ per se. Not yet, anyway. So why did this piss you off so badly?
“A man like what?” You challenged, staring up at Michael. In your lap, your hands, that had been neatly folded, were slowly clenching into fists.
Michael's mouth twisted into a wolfish, arrogant grin. “I’d say he takes up more space than he’s worth. Cocky, foolish, insufferable–”
Your fist had connected with his jaw before he could get another word out, sending him stumbling backwards, clutching his jaw as he tried to regain his footing.
It would take you about a week to fully process how the next 15 seconds had gone.
At first, the silence was so intense that you could audibly hear the rapid beat of your own heart.
Then, guns were raised and pointed directly at you. 5 from the guards, all at separate angles, and one directly in front of you from Michael himself.
Next, gunfire. A lot of gunfire. Multiple shots ringing out from 6 different directions.
You weren’t exactly sure when Sylus had entered, but he apparently had the timing of a God. You’d been whisked out of harm's way, somehow completely uninjured. You realized later that he likely used his evol somewhere in the mix.
Once safely away from the hotel, Sylus turned to face you, lips set in a thin line but his expression otherwise neutral. He studied you for a long moment.
“That went well,” He said, his tone lacking any amusement. “Should I not trust you enough to leave you unattended for two minutes?”
You folded your arms over your chest. You didn’t trust the sound of your voice yet. You knew you owed him an explanation, but the adrenaline was still too high and you were still too angry to speak.
Sylus checked you for any injuries and then, to your surprise, grabbed your chin, tilting your head up to look at him.
“You need to be more careful who you pick fights with,” He warned. His tone was firm, but not unkind. He knew you were more than capable of handling yourself. It was one of the things he appreciated about you. However, the fight today had left a bitter taste in his mouth. This was the first time he hadn’t been in the room the entire time. It could have been a lot worse, and you weren’t bulletproof. This was the first time he’d left you alone for more than 30 seconds, and it had ended with you in a shootout.
“Maybe he shouldn’t have been talking shit about you the second you walked away,” You retorted, your voice coming out bitter. “Right in front of me. It was just…disrespectful.”
Sylus, who had assumed Michael had started it on his own, was stunned. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t have any quips or sarcastic comments to make. That was what had caused the fight? You, the same person that used to look at him with so much distrust and caution, had thrown yourself into a fight to defend his name while he wasn’t in the room.
Sylus was silent for a moment, his eyes combing your face for any hint of deception. When your words finally sank in, he nearly melted on the spot. The adoration he’d already felt was intensified. The warmth he felt in his chest was almost too much, and he wasn’t sure whether he should scold you or kiss you.
Instead, he gently tugged you against his chest, choosing to simply hold you for a moment. It felt like the only correct option. His chin rested against the top of your head, one arm looped around your back as the other cradled your head. He was absolutely flattered, and outrageously smitten.
Yeah, he had it bad.
“Just when I think I have you figured out, you go and do something else that surprises me,” He murmured fondly, rubbing small circles into your back. You were an endless mystery to him. But as he stood there, holding you against him, he knew he’d happily spend the rest of his life trying to figure you out.
Note: 1.4k words just for Sylus I am SO SORRY but I needed this man getting all soft with this prompt slkdhjsalkhd
#love and deepspace#love and deepspace headcanons#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace zayne#lnds rafayel#lnds xavier#lnds zayne#lnds sylus#lads sylus#lads rafayel#lads zayne#lads xavier#lads x reader#lnds x reader#xavier x reader#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#lads angst#lnds angst#lnds fluff#lads fluff#lads headcanons#lnds headcanons#scottiexmariee
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Pleasantly surprised that Neumes did extremely well with helping me overcome executive dysfunction and sensory overload/agoraphobia today... c:>
He did really well when we had to go to the pharmacy to get my hormones, too, and the line was distressingly long.
Been much more talkative in more private spaces and not really anyone reading these but figure it's a good little update.
Everyone is doing so well and overcoming things so quickly. I mean it makes sense once the initial shock and trauma responses are over. But in particular it's like the "help other people" instinct takes over. And along the way they've gotten better at regulating their emotions and helping me with mine.
It's all things I think that have been here for a while but. Now we can actually work together and try to make this life a little easier. It's really really nice... c:
- Fisher
#also really happy theyre making friends with good people and still managing to help others come out of their shells!!#they're both doing so so so so so so so good#and also proud of Grist and his own writing and realizations btw his little blog is going so well and he is having so much fun with it#system journaling#man we gotta bolster up the queue cant believe it posted so much... should probably post some of our actual interesting thoughts and such#but feeling too weird about it. hate that I talk so much and it ends up hurting people because we try so hard to let people tell us#their boundaries but still mess up anyway. had someone just Tell Us yesterday they didnt have brainpower for the conversation and it was#like a 2 ton weight being taken OFF of my shoulders#told them a huge thank you for just letting us know that lmfaoooo#everything was groovy and a different friend we were also talking to was happy to keep listening so we mellowed out and wrapped up the#story for them. that was nice c:#feeling really good these days#extremely excited and a tiny bit overwhelmed that we also have groceries again??#Neumes did a REALLY good job helping me feel better in the grocery store and we got actual meal fooss#*foods#just gotta get over the executive dysfunction to actually Make Things but were not hungry right now anyway (shocker I know)#(that is in amusement bc Neumes makes us very hungry when he is around x3)
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( 标题 ) STRAWBERRY HEAD.
PREC𝒾S ⠀⟡⠀a guy with a fun costume flirts with you at a party.
( 엔하이픈 희승 ) ୨୧ f .. r 12OO fluff meet cute ── flirting skinship ⠀ 。。 ⠀ recue𝒾l
지아 ㅤ𓈒ㅤ𓈒ㅤ i am not leaving tumblr everrr don’t worry, luvdolls 💌
( ˊᗜˋreblogs&feedbacks · C𝑙𝑖CK )
it always ends up the same. no matter what the conversation is, no matter how it began or where; it always ends up with the same conclusion. why don’t you have a boyfriend, yet?
as always, you groan while tilting your face to the ceiling. like a tradition, it is like you are begging a superior being to end your misery now and just take you before they all start to recall all your failed dates and talking stage over the past few months. it is not like they are that many, anyway.
you can try to tell each one of the people surrounding you that you are not interested in a relationship, that you think boys are fun to mess with but truly useless and that you are fine on your own— they never listen.
you successfully disappear amongst the crowd of diverse book, movie and game characters— and even … fruits? — costumes to get a drink. suddenly feeling very thirsty.
no one notices you, too hang on debating on your love life when you are not even there to begin with.
pouring something into your glass, you feel someone standing a bit too close to you.
“hey,” a voice greets you loudly. making your heart jump all the way to your stomach.
you almost giggle as you turn around; a tall, grown man in a bright red hoodie, the same color as his joggings and a strawberry sort of hat wrapped around his head.
his voice is way too deep to go with his costume.
a smile tugs your lips, “hi.”
he smiles back. this time with a much much softer, he tells you back, “hi,” he eyes lingers on your face. “you come here often?”
you actually giggle at that, with your face falling towards the ground, with his face following yours, with his gaze never leaving you as he smirks.
you cross one arm under your chest and plant your free arm’s elbow in your wrist, holding your drink close to your mouth, “please, don’t tell me that line has ever worked for you,” he chuckles at that, “i wouldn’t stand it.”
the strawberry head shrugs, “tried and tested true for a reason,” then he leans his shoulder against the wall next to you.
“what’s your name, bambi?” he asks you, biting down his lip as he smiles.
the nickname comes from your doe makeup and the little tail on your skirt. looks like you are not the only one who makes nicknames.
you respond while turning to face him, “what is yours?”
“heeseung,” you admit it, ‘strawberry head’ will be missed but you like this one better.
“it’s cute,” you nod and he laughs.
“and yours isn’t?” he immediately says back. he rolls your name on his tongue, dear god . “it suits you well, i like it.”
you huff humoredly, “i will tell my parents you are a fan,” you don’t forget to emphasis on his name and hold your drink up, “heeseung.”
“i hope i will be able to tell them myself one day,” he teases when you drink, making your choke.
well, that was quite risky— although, still very smooth, you will give him that.
your eyes wide and your mouth falls open is a surprised smile. your face must be funny because heeseung lets out a genuine laugh, that goes beyond the sound of the loud music.
“take me to dinner first!” you tell him, while watching his body vibrate because of his laughter.
the tall man gets serious pretty quickly after the words leave your mouth, he looks at you like he had you exactly where he wanted.
“well,” he starts and his smirk is back again. “what about tonight?”
you can only blink at him for a moment. as if it was written on it; you scan his entire face in a hope of an answer. oh.
“diner?” you ask, he hums. “tonight?” he hums again and your knees weaken a bit. “but we barely know each other!”
“we can get to!” his smile is more than evident in his voice, on his pink lips. “over diner!”
he got you pressing your lips together and fighting back a smile like a highschool girl. the debate doesn’t take very long in your head, you just need to bite your inner cheek to get yourself to say it.
strawberry head’s face is full of apprehension and enthusiasm, so much that you wonder who looks the most idiotic between the two of you.
you sigh, then giggle, “fine, you convinced me.”
the guy smiles. and after you successfully say goodbye to your friends while avoiding all their questions, everything gets wrapped pretty well.
soon you stand a few meters away from heeseung’s means of transport.
“you have a bike,” you sound half impressed, half incredulous.
heeseung, with his strawberry costume, has the audacity to look at you with an utterly shocked and offended expression splashed on his face. he even puts his hand on his heart.
“am i not cool enough to have one?” he asks as he leans on his motorcycle.
you take one step closer to him, letting your fingertips run through the leather seat. it is cool, very much so. him, despise his bright red ensemble, too.
you chuckle, “it just doesn’t match your costume,” you confess and he chuckles. “you are like my very own james dean,” you turn your gaze back to him, “very cool to me.”
his look softens, his hand offered to you and helping you when you get on the passenger sit. he speaks again :
“i promise to take care of you.” he whispers before letting your hand go gently. “i know a good restaurant a couple of blocks away.” you want to ask him if he doesn’t feel a bit ridiculous wearing this. “are you comfortable?
you thank your past self for choosing a black short instead of a skirt to wear with your black top and boots, “yeah,” you nod. “thank you.”
the wind runs through his hair when he takes off his strawberry head. it takes your breath away instantly. he was already beautiful before but now, this is something beyond and different.
of course, his hair is pink.
“wouldn’t like to see it flying, would we?” he jokes and you only blink, eyes following him as he gets behind the bike and puts the strawberry in the box. he takes a helmet and comes back to you.
he gets on the bike, so close to you when he turns around.
your world completely collapse when he puts the helmet on your head for you, “i only got one,” he speaks, eyes focused on his fingers adjusting the helmet. “didn’t know a pretty girl like you would let me carry her around, you know?”
thankfully, the tinted visor can hide your blushing face. and your stupid smile. halas— it can’t hide your giggles.
“i saw it in a dream of mine,” you respond when he turns around. you embrace his waist, “i knew the trajectory of you life would be changed tonight.”
heeseung laughs again.
as he starts the engine you whisper in his ear, “is it the part where you tell me to hold on tight?”
“i think you are doing that already, doll,” he taps your hand.
and man, what a ride it was.
ㅤㅤ𓈒ㅤㅤ𓈒 taglist open
#⠀𝑓 ⟡⠀命运’𝑠 ⠀#k flixnet#k labels#k films#enhypen#enhypen fluff#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen drabbles#enhypen reactions#enhypen scenarios#enhypen soft hours#enhypen soft thoughts#enhypen fanfiction#enha fluff#enha x reader#enha imagines#enha drabble#enha reactions#enha scenarios#enha soft thoughts#enha soft hours#enha fanfic#lee heeseung#heeseung enhypen#enhypen heeseung#heeseung x reader#heeseung fluff#heeseung soft hours#heeseung soft thoughts
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