#and I mean it’s a state of mind
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the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again
#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k#posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours?#also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that!#unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference#edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense#also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags#1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now#he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic#2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign#like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock#3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing#it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is#extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once#it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life#i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about#Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect#if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it#aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week
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Just me and my sluttiness against the world
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happy siffrin day / loop plush drop day / loop day!!! :D
#in stars and time#isat#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#isat act 6 secret encounter spoilers#<- since. yanno. LMAO.#a thought crossed my mind briefly thinking loop and sif could technically have 2 stated different birthdays#if we assume that siffrin said a random date when asked about when their birthday was cuz they forgor#then that could also mean loop? said a DIFFERENT random birthday??? when asked who knows when?? if that makes sense???#so they could share an ORIGINAL birthday but when asked on two seperate occasions they couldve STATED two different days???#idk where i was going with that tbh it was more of a random thought than anything else ASFASDAS#also!! favor tree topped cake!!! i thought it would be fun to draw#was originally gonna just have siffrin and loop on it but then#it looked empty so added the party and some birds :]#however poor planning meant the cake was uh tinier than expected to fit everyone#oops!!! still fun tho!! no regrets there#also please pretend the toppers are more to scale and are kinda like mini plushies since#i thought itd be a fun touch cuz the loop plush drops today :D#okay! tag talk over!!
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Gotta give Rekha Shankar all the respect in the world. I don't think even Emilly "Sexy Rat Hilda Hilda Wanda Childa" Axford has ever managed to put the fear of god into Brennan with five simple words: I have a stupid question. I am in desperate need to see the two of them in the Dome together. The chaos they would unleash beggars the imagination.
I feel like the difference between Emily and Rekha is Emily is out to Break Brennan's Game (affectionate) and Rekha is out to Break Brennan's Mind (affectionate). I want them at a table together so badly.
#ask#dimension 20#farmer-10#nsbu#never stop blowing up#obviously this is mostly in jest no one is trying to genuinely break brennan's game or mind#I feel the need to state this bc I've seen ppl ascribe such weirdly malicious intent on the motives of friends playing a game together#refuse to have ppl believe this is serious in any way#'how did you know there'd be a plinth in this fight? Jesus I'm fucking ruined' is my fave emily breaking brennan moment#his voice cracks a little#it's great#'WE READ THE BOOK BRENNAN. AND BY WE I MEAN JUST EMILY."
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i dont care what anyone says, house saying he loves wilson after wilson ups his pain meds was for real to me. it just slipped out and house's unserious nature is the only thing that let him get away with it
#house md#hilson#love is a doing word but when you're in as state where you can't Do then saying will suffice#thinking about that scene and how we never saw house DIRECTLY after getting shot + recovering#like i for one will pretend that surgery drugs and ketamine means when he first woke up>#house was like uninhibited enough to be a little. ooc. a little goopy perhaps#and in this mind scene wilson is of course there when is he not#not only is he the best house wrangler but he'd be even needier post op#how on earth could wilson resist that it's like catnip to him
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SAID HE LIKES CRAZY GIRLS,
BUT HE HATES WHEN I ACT CRAZY,
IT TAKES TWO TO TOXIC!
FINALLY!!! Finished these pics of jinx I’ve been working on!!!!! HOLY SHIT, these took so long…. But finally… they’re done… pls enjoy this art of my beautiful princess w a disorder. Featuring alternate colors for the big pic and also a closeup! Cuz I rlly like how both the lines and coloring on her face turned out… like the pink gradients w her eye… her deer in headlights expression,, like uve just startled a raccoon digging thru ur trashcan and r two seconds away from getting mauled.. m proud of it!
#arcane#league of legends#jinx#jinx arcane#arcane jinx#doodles#hate and love how hardcore I relate to jinx…#little sisters w dependency issues.. + a whole lot of other issues#anyway the ‘he’ in the ‘crazy girl’ lyrics is in my mind referring to both vi and silco lol#I’m sORRY! I keep seeing ppl hardcore pitting these 2 bad bitches against each other#and it’s like… silco is objectively. morally worse than vi.. vi is not like. a ruthless crime lord#vi IS 100% trying her best and loves her sister. but she still screwed up w jinx#and silco ALSO truly loves jinx. but also screwed up by fucking. trauma bonding w her ghgh-#like.. silco is too close. he’s like. yes go apeshit jinx I support and love you and understand u no matter what fucked up shit u do.#were the same. and that’s beautiful!!! I love how supportive he is…#but its like.. silcos too close. he just became a new person for jinx to glomp onto and base her self esteem around after vi left#and he doesn’t manipulate that on purpose but. he DOES effect that girls mental state. cuz he needs her too#meanwhile vi is too far away… she thinks she knows who jinx is. but jinx has changed… time marches forward. she’s not that little girl#anymore#and nOW! after the finale jinx has NOBODY TO BE CODEPENDENT W..#her mental state has always been so tied up in how the ppl she puts on pedestals view her#and now there’s no pedestal anymore. she knocked down the statues. she’s alone…#it’s interesting….#anyway I’m not trying to say vi is as bad as silco at ALL. just that she’s an equally important building block in jinx’s mind#that has made her into the fucked up lil person she is today. and I think that’s neat.#lol anyway! I’m hyped for season 2….#aLSO GOD DAMN THIS GIRLS OUTFIT IS COMPLICATED. WHY DO U GOT SO MANY BITS N BOBS JINX??? I mean I get it accessories rock.#but u take so much time to draw ghfhg- require so much brainpower#aLSO ADDENDUM. while silco is objectively morally worse than vi his relationship w jinx is genuinely. like. makes me emotional ghgh-#its not perfect. or healthy. but… it’s. the both of them. being seen. and accepted. and loved and understood.. and I love that shit.
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girl help I need to eat him for breakfast
#his fuckin HAIR. I'm afflicted w/the PLAGUE#and it's BUBONIC!!!! bitch!!!!!#sometimes I just scroll thru the gifs I make @ 2 am w/my brain full of asbestos and radioactive waste like. we were really goin thru it huh#peter strahm#mine#anyways. my hands should be in his hair rn in this moment#and ALSO [redacted whorism] [redacted whorism] [REDACTED WHORISM]#I'm just fckn saying..........................#rabies-posting...................cujo the saint bernard state of MIND#don't look directly @ me I'm in the trenches today#<-but. I mean. when am I NOT in these trenches. let's be honest#so u should never be looking directly @ me!!!!!!!!!
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Wait... Dream was born on August 12, 1999 and Dream was arrested in the Disc Finale on January 20, 2021 soo... wait, wait, wait, that means he was only 21 when he was imprisoned for life in a small lava covered box!... Did I do that math right? 21?! Man was barely able to drink legally in the United States and they gave him a life sentence in a boiling cell with nothing but lava, raw potatoes, a clock, and some books?!... oh my god...
#sorry.... I just... give me a minute to process... I mean I knew we were close in age but I guess I never really thought about it#sometimes I forget it happened all the way back in 2021 and just... wow.#and Tommy would have been 16 so getting his driver's license in most states... The age gap is like that of my siblings and huh...#my brother can be a real prick... its a weird thought to imagine him getting through in prison just for messing with us... damn...#dreblr#c!dream#this is fine#don't mind me researching for my lastest maddening project..... i can't stop thinking about Dream being Sam's project.......#I'd blame my job but... let's be honest the prison arc lives rent free in my brain lol XD#dsmp#dsmp dream#dream smp#dreamwastaken#no one does it like c!dream#prison arc#pandora's vault#dishing up lore#kinda? I guess...#lore thoughts#ouch... I'm older than c!dream was in prison now... poor baby... :'(
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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ohhhhh mtg god i just realized. machete and vasco are the color of milk and honey
Codename Milk and Honey
#yes that's actually the name I had in mind for them#ever since 2018 or so#biblical symbolism#means state of prosperity abundance and freedom from want#honey is antibacterial and doesn't spoil if stored properly it can stay good and edible for hundreds of years if not more#whereas milk is only good for a very short time and quickly becomes disgusting#answered#anonymous#if we're being honest if I made an actual webcomic or other piece of media of them that's what I might call it
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Speaking of coins, I think it's neat that we have a trinity of Apollos with uncommon characteristics:
Apollo Karneios with ram horns and ram ears, Apollo Soranus with a star diadem and a pick-axe and Apollo Vejovis with winged head, a trident and a dagger. (The last two are the results of his syncretism with Roman deities)
What's more fun about the coins of Apollo-Vejovis is that some of them put a thunderbolt under his bust or straight up show him holding it:
And I can't help but think of this being equivalent to a girl wearing her mom's makeup for the photo day
#apollo#look Apollo has already used thunderbolt in a couple of classical texts#I don't think Zeus would mind if his son borrowed it for a few minutes for a photoshoot#Okay jokes aside Vejovis is such an obscure deity (just like Soranus)#The explanation given by Gellius is that Jupiter/Jove is ultimately derived from “iuvare” which means “to help”#so Vejovis was the antithesis of Jove...doing the opposite of help#he was believed to bring harm with his arrows#So was also prayed upon to avert evils#hence his syncretism with Apollo#I also feel like they also just syncretised Jupiter with Apollo to some extent here#because soon after stating his identification with Apollo#Gellius has mentioned that a she-goat was sacrificed to Vejovius (yknow as a nod to Amalthea nursing Zeus/Jupiter#this also happens with Apollo Soranus actually#Soranus is conflated with Apollo and called the highest of the gods#and Servius notes that “highest of the gods” is a title given to Jupiter#so yeah it was a not a complete or even a direct syncretism but there was a line that connected them#and i find the implications very interesting#mine
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sometimes i wonder what exactly the zhang family business is... the only information about it (as far as i know) is that it's an "import/export business" but it's never specified what exactly they are importing and exporting. food? clothing? firearms? the idea of frank's family being this giant shady criminal company while he himself has no idea about it is kind of hilarious.
#frank zhang#heroes of olympus#i saw someone say they might be involved in illegal arms trafficking.#which a) as stated above would be really funny#b) kind of makes sense considering the “war” themes#and c) is really interesting even if i think it's the least likely option to be canon.#i also find it really hard to believe that emily zhang is an only child.#i mean what happened to the zhang business after grandma either died/fell off the grid#and frank went to cj and now has seemingly no interest in interacting with mortals?#you think gma would just let a dynasty die like that? yeah right. there MUST be other heirs.#i knowww i know frank doesn't mention any other family. but it's true in my mind.#riordanverse
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"I love all of my companions equally," she says, and then this is what her damn camera roll looks like (it's me, i'm she)
#squirrel plays bg3#astarion#(organizing my “fandom shit” folder; don't mind me)#(i mean i did just promise more ratposting; best i can do is a rat-man)#lowkey remarking that it makes me smile a bit to imagine my folder to just be basically Iona's camera roll#she's cool and collected and they may be an obnoxious couple but only like. to a pleasant degree#it's the 2438543987453 photos of her hot boyfriend in various cute outfits and states of undress on her phone that don't lie#but dw his is probably no different#all the best ships are just people who are very appropriately and mutually insane about each other#also tagging as#oc: iona raedir#to have the thought for later
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genderfluid jevil,.,. or bigender .. which ever one hasn't been requested
Day 290 of posting Jevil every day
#pride palettes#bigender#this one’s proportions came out kinda weird cause I was thinking oh this flag is so cute and accidentally made me kinda chibi-ify Jevil#since I was in a cute state of mind you get what I mean#dailyjevil#deltarune#deltarune jevil#jevil#jevil deltarune
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FOR A BEAT OF HEART, THE BREATH IS SHOT. AND WITHIN A BREATH, THE HEART IS CAUGHT. THE PIPES ARE BURSTING, UNDER GREAT STRESS, BOLTS TORN ASUNDER, MAKING A MESS. A FINAL COUGH, A FINAL RETCH, A GOREY SLOUGH, CLAIMED BY WRETCH.
#cw gore#jrwi riptide#jrwi riptide spoilers#chip jrwi#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#I LLOOOVE POETRYYY I LOVE MAKING WORDS RHYME IN STRANGE WAYS AND DESCRIBING VISCERA AND VIOLENCE OR WAHTEVER. YKNOW WHAT ELSE I LOVE#CHHHIIIIIIIBBOOOOO MY BEAUTIFUL MAAANN WWHAT. WHAT HAPPENED. OH MY GOD. IVE BEEN SAYING FOREVER. I NEEED CHIP TO GET SCARIER.#HE HAS THE POTENTIAL! I KNOW HE DOES! HAUNTED BOY WITH THE HAUNTED EYES WHAT TRAUMAS HAVE YOU SEEN? AND WERE THEY YOUR FAULT? THINK ABOUT I#EVERY FAMILY HAS CRUMBLED AROUND HIM. HIS BIRTH FAMILY CRUMBLED BEFORE HE KNEW IT. HIS SECOND FAMILY DROWNED. THIRD BURNED TO THE GROUND#AND SHALL THIS NEXT FAMILY JOIN THEM? CHIIIIP YOU UNFORTUNATE BOY YOU HAVE WITNESSED SO MUCH CALAMITY#YOU ARE CALAMITY BOYYY AHAHAHAHA DONT YOU SEEE!! ZOMBIFIED AND DEAD. TRUELY MORE HAUNTED THAN EVER BEFORE. THIS WILL BE FUN#THE FIRE HURTS WHEN IT BURNS TOO LONG. BUT NOW YOUR NERVES ARE DEAD AND YOUR MIND IS FREE. BURN THIS CORPSE AS YOU WISH TO GET WHAT YOU WAN#CHIP IS NOT THE FIRE HE IS THE MATCH. I LOVE THAT IDEA SO MUCH IM SO PROUD OF IT. OHHH AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CORRUPTION#bizly mentioned that chip wants to be a good captain. in his most corrupted state however. he would be the BEST captain..#thAT DOESNT MEAn hes gonna just suddenly be all controlling. the BEST captain keeps his crew safe. keeps them together. keeps them alive.#and chip is doing just that! he doesnt need to stop being a good captain just bc of the corruption! he just needs to be the BEST CAPTAIN#AND THATS SUBJECTIVE BABY!! im so excited to see where chips zombie arc goes. neeeed him to get scarier and just a little more fucked up.#neEED HIM TO PERFORM ABHORANT ACTIONS THAT HAVE JAY N GILL GOING ' dude woah what the fuck...'#RIGHT I SHOULD TALK ABT MY ART TOO. this one took TOO LONGGGstarted out witha sketch how did it end up like this...#the heart and the blood KILLED ME. LOOK AT MY RENDERING LIKE HWAAATT#better not see any more mistakes after i post this.... i cant fight withit anymore....STILL RLY PROUD THO..#I WAnted to make it visually LOOK like the grossest vomiting sound possible#i want it to make your throat feel uncomfortable. am i achieving that? i hope i am. thats tubes dude!!! like cmahn!
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A small break from driving to remind everyone I love gilbert very much. And isaac. And arthur. And theo. And the mansion. And chev. And clavis. And keef. And silvio. And victor. And elbert. And roderic. And alfo- [*mic is forcibly taken away from me*]
#scum talks#separate from the post but i am in such a weird state of mind hearing my best friend describe surviving the hurricane#and how close they came to death#they survived due to absolute luck. truly#if it had been just a few more minutes and i mean A FEW they would be dead#its a lot for everyone involved to take in but especially themselves#i feel like this has altered my perception on a lot of things and i am likely going to sound a bit different from now on#i have a minimum of five more hours to drive wish me luck
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