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#and I love thinking about what could have been regarding having multiple Links
keepmycandleburning · 23 hours
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An addition to my post about how Voldemort is really invested in other people's love lives: Voldemort has no respect for people's privacy or bodily autonomy, and likes to insert himself into people's space and force people to have a more intimate relationship with him than they desire.
He uses this as a form of punishment, knowing it makes people uncomfortable, and also as a form of entertainment because he finds their discomfort amusing.
He lived on the back of Quirrell's head for almost a YEAR as a punishment after Quirrell failed to steal the Stone from Gringotts. A YEAR. IMAGINE WHAT HE SAW. Quirrell could not have done ANYTHING without Lord Voldemort seeing it and hearing it. I mean he was there when he was using the toilet, masturbating, etc etc. And imagine if Voldemort could also feel all of Quirrell's bodily sensations.
Voldemort forced Wormtail to care for him like a helpless baby, again for almost a YEAR, hand-feeding him and picking him up and God only knows what else, when they could have easily done the resurrection ritual really at any point in time—even if he truly wanted nobody but Harry, Barty Jr. could have brought him from Hogwarts.
Voldemort is clearly amusing himself with the situations at this time, making multiple jokes in just the couple scenes he's in:
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'Care for my bodily needs for me,' is such an insane punishment to give Wormtail (definitely a punishment, for being a traitor which Voldemort hates and maybe other reasons) and I do wonder if he also did this to the Malfoys in DH, like forcing them to make him food and watch him eat and so on. It's just so weird to imagine that because he seems so inhuman but I mean, he does it in GoF so...
He also has Wormtail approach him and dress him by hand when he comes out of the cauldron naked instead of just bending down and picking up the robes himself:
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He makes interestingly similar comments in the GoF baby era and at Malfoy Manor in The Dark Lord Ascending:
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Asking his servants a question he knows damn well the answer to is 'it makes me uncomfortable to have this level of proximity with you,' and forcing them to falsely claim they have no problem with it and they actually want it.
He appears to have literally moved into Lucius's house with him, or at the very least is using it as a professional base. I almost always see people interpreting it as that Voldemort lived at Malfoy Manor, which I don't necessarily think has to be true, but I think it's a fine interpretation, and I enjoy it.
With both Wormtail and the Malfoys, Voldemort forces them to witness him in a domestic setting, forces them to claim they want it, and makes them aware that he knows that they hate it, which he knows is terrifying.
While he's at Malfoy Manor, he inserts himself into their family business (as discussed in linked post), commenting on a marriage in the family, speculating on what children the couple is going to have and what relationship the children will have with the Malfoys. We can see he's clearly using this to amuse both himself and the group of Death Eaters, as he makes multiple jokes (implying Bellatrix may be happier about her family member marrying a werewolf than she is about Voldemort's presence, asking Draco if he is going to babysit the cubs) and allows the DEs to laugh.
He also turns Bellatrix's complimentary but not overly inappropriate comment into what I think is unquestionably a sexual innuendo, and then immediately intentionally embarrasses her and induces a group of almost all men to laugh at her:
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Regarding Bellatrix, there's often a misconception of viewing Voldemort as someone who would not stoop to a certain level of bodily intimacy or give up his own privacy—but he shares an entire body with Quirrell, he willingly gives up all of his autonomy/privacy with Wormtail, he even steps out of the cauldron fully nude (could have been done privately, I mean the Riddle House is right there, just carry the blood up the hill) and forces Wormtail to again interact with his naked body (and his real one now, not just the baby one) to dress him. So yeah he very much would, and he does, over and over. Voldemort gets bottle-fed and probably diaper-changed for 11 months but noooo he'd never have sex. Be serious. Voldemort takes every physical intimacy he's offered and much more.
Also just want to note that Voldemort is prone to discussing people's personal lives also in situations where it is wanted. For example, Barty Jr. reveals at the end of GoF that they clearly had some personal conversations about Barty's relationship with his father where Voldemort also offered information about himself. Voldemort definitely seems to know Bellatrix personally, and I would very much guess they've had personal conversations. And also the conversations with Snape about Lily (see last post too)—when Snape comes to him about sparing her, they have a thorough enough conversation that Voldemort believes Snape just 'desired her' and then they follow up later about how there are better women for Snape. He likes other people's business!
Overall, I very often read Voldemort as doing things for a major purpose of entertaining himself. He seems to find amusement in many different situations he's in and make jokes to himself and others. His tendency to overstep boundaries of bodies and personal space—both intentionally and by necessity—is one of these things.
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peachssodapop · 1 year
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Ich schließe die Augen und zähle bis zehn So behalt ich dein Bild, so will ich dich immer sehen Und lass mich blenden Lass mich blenden
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pipermca · 22 days
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New AO3 Tag Wrangling Policy and the Transformers Fandom
(This is a long one, folks, but I think it's important.)
A new tag-wrangling policy on AO3 has the potential to create some massive confusion and chaos in the Transformers fanfic community, with regards to fandom tags. There is a Reddit post about it here with a focus on anime fandoms, but I want to give some concrete examples for the Transformers fandom on why we DO NOT WANT this, and why I think it's a horrible idea.
The Problem
Basically, AO3 is looking to get rid of the "All Media Types" fandom tag across the board, either by dismantling them or just not maintaining them. The Transformers - All Media Types tag has been an all-purpose tag that you could select when your story doesn't fall into any one specific continuity. Additionally, all most (see below) TF continuities on AO3 are considered a subtag of the Transformers - All Media Types tag. For example, if you look at the link above for all works in the All Media Types tag, you will see fics that are also tagged ONLY with Transformers: Animated, because it falls under the All Media Types tag.
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One exception: With the upcoming Transformers: One movie coming out imminently, there will likely be a big influx of stories tagged with Transformers: One. In fact, there are several already. However, it hasn't been linked to the larger Transformers - All Media Types tag yet. I wasn't worrying about it though, because I know these things can take time.
With information about this new tagging policy, however, I'm now wondering whether it'll EVER get linked to the All Media Types tag. If that happens, and when more continuities are developed in the coming years (since you know Hasbro loves creating new universes) this has the potential to cause massive confusion when looking for stories to read.
Searching for Stories with the New Tagging System
So let's say the All Media Types fandom tag isn't accurate anymore, because it no longer includes ALL of the continuities (such as TF:One). You will need to include ALL the Transformers continuities when browsing for TF fics.
How many tags is that? Well, here are all of the tags currently listed under the Transformers - All Media Types tag:
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Note that this doesn't include Transformers: One since it hasn't been categorized yet.
You will potentially have to have 40 or more different fandom tags in your search, just in case the author tagged their story with something you weren't expecting.
This massively decreases the findability of a story.
Tagging with the New System
The email response from the Tag Wrangling group (see the linked Reddit post above) seems to be a bit flip in the response to the user's concern. "...encourages creators to tag with the media they intend."
While I appreciate what they are attempting to do, this policy change feels like a solution in search of a problem, especially in larger fandoms with multiple continuities, versions, and media types that are all cross-pollinated in both canon and fanon. While I'm focusing on Transformers fandom, imagine a creator in the DC comic universe writing a story that incorporates bits and pieces from a dozen different reboots.
For example, let's say that I am writing a fic about Ratchet. I am using the setting of the original G1 episodes, but I also am using the characterization of him as a bit of an old man grump. That characterization originated in the Animated continuity, but I want to incorporate bits of pieces of his other characterizations as well (old friend of Optimus from TFP, Ratchet ran a faction-free clinic like he did in the War for Cybertron series, he's got a Decepticon boyfriend like in IDW1 - or maybe even Cyberverse, etc.)
With this new tagging structure, I might potentially have to tag the story with ALL of those continuities. So instead of just slapping down the "All Media Types" tag (and maybe one other fandom tag that matches the characters as best I can), I'll have to analyze my story and try to figure out how best to tag for the characters I used.
And what if you're doing a completely AU version of the story? For example, a humanformers story, or merformers? Using the All Media Types tag along with a Alternate Universe - Human or Alternate Universe - Mermaid tag worked perfectly, since you weren't writing the story to fit into one specific continuity. But now, that might not be an option.
What To Do??
The first thing I would suggest is to contact AO3 (using the Feedback and Support page) and let them know (nicely) that you think this is a horrible idea. Give them some examples on how you use the All Media Types tag to find stories to read, or to help you tag a story. People outside of the Transformers fandom don't always appreciate how absolutely tangled the continuities can be with each other, and providing examples might help them see why this would be a really messy change.
Readers: Be aware that when you are looking in the All Media Types tag, it will no longer show newer continuities. And if AO3 starts dismantling that tag like they suggested they are doing, be aware that some stories won't show up in that tag like they used to. You can also create and then bookmark a custom search page that includes all 40+ continuities. REALLY annoying, but it's a workaround.
Writers: Until they start dismantling the All Media Types tag, ALWAYS ALWAYS tag your stories using Transformers - All Media Types... Especially for newer continuities. This will be especially important if you are writing a Transformers: One story. Right now, anyone who is only browsing the All Media Types tag will not see a story tagged only with Transformers: One. Make sure you're aware of how tags work and how they can affect the visibility and findability of your story.
Epilogue
Ugh. That's a lot of words for a long-weekend Saturday. And maybe I'm overreacting a tiny bit. But my work involves information architecture, and this change just absolutely baffles me. It's almost as though they want to make it harder to find stories. Considering that AO3 won a Hugo partially because of its fantastic tagging system, this change seems like AO3 is doing its best to shoot itself in the foot.
When you have a square hole, a round hole, and a rectangular hole… Yeah, you DO want each peg to go in the "right" hole. But if all of the pegs fit in the square hole, who cares? You got the job done.
I love you @ao3org, but please reconsider this change... Especially for IPs that are as old and are as varied as Transformers.
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frozenjokes · 1 month
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Cub and mumbo is a ship I really want to like extremely badly but it hasn’t quite clicked in my brain how they would work so I just need to take a moment to ramble and brainstorm and make it happen.
I think they have a kind of vibe that’s like ‘I saw cub at the ‘eating people’ club!’ ‘what were YOU doing that the ‘eating people’ club?’ I imagine cub being charmed by S8 mumbo and his quite frankly insane workaround to stealing Grian’s soul instead of just cannibalism normal style. Cub might keep tabs on Mumbo after that, just curiosity with little interaction, and he ends up witnessing multiple instances of Technically Not Cannibalism? that leave him kind of baffled?? mumbo jumbo why are you jumping through hoops like this. I am fascinated by you but I think also you are in desperate need of tearing someone apart (and god I’d love to watch). They’ve said a total of five words to each other when cub wanders over to him and is like hey. if you wanted to 👉👈 you could ✌️ rip scar into a million pieces with me :) for fun :)
mumbo goes ?????????no????????"? and cub comes away from this interaction dejected and also with the impression that the issue here is that mumbo is simply repressed and is in desperate need of help and nothing else. commence slutfan135 (attraction and eating people are integrally linked which is a universal for everyone cub has decided)
from Mumbo’s perspective this is coming out of fucking nowhere and he’s deeply deeply confused until he’s chatting with scar one day and the subject comes up and scar’s like oh yeah lol he wants you to eat him soooooo bad he’s been talking my ear off about for weeks and mumbo goes Why. W hy. And scar shrugs. (Unhinged cubfan monologue would not have been understandable to anyone especially not scar but he’s just happy to listen to cub talk. Nothing is more fun than listening to an autistic person go off the rails about something insane.)
Mumbo just approaches cub the next day and goes dude I do not want to eat you and I’m not going to. And cub goes 🥺 please? Somehow this leads to a conversation about desire and carnal attraction and gore and shit and it’s nice probably. Mumbo doesn’t really want to hurt people so instead he chooses to hurt people in extremely convoluted ways instead. Cub suggests he go apeshit instead. you’ve been cannibalism edging me for weeks mumbo jumbo I am begging you. Something something guilt and shame and it’s all an extremely poorly disguised allegory for catholic guilt and shame in regards to sex. maybe it ends with mumbo suggesting cub eat him instead. This might fix him??? I enjoy a predator hunter/hunted dynamic so I think that would go hard with cub being like okay :3 only if I can chase you through my gay little labyrinth. Even better if the turns get tabled on cub and mumbo ends up killing him instead. I haven’t mentioned mumbo is a vampire yet but he is. Then they eat each other the end. cumbo win
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ambriel-angstwitch · 3 months
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Tim Drake Pride Thoughts Part 2
Link to Part 1 for those interested
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I love Tim’s internal monologue and how it’s visualized on the page. The way he’s in the Robin costume even though he’s not actually and then it fades away.
Gosh his identity issues. His need to save people and self destructive tendencies. I love him.
Then Tim beats the crap out of the unsuspecting cultist and steals their stuff like a boss but it wasn’t shown we just cut to the cult after the reveal of the multiple “chaos gods”
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I love that he says what would Batman do like it’s what would Jesus do. He even acronynmed it earlier. I used to have those bracelets.
Tim’s always trying to fill a role and that’s so fascinating. Robin was just a role that needed filling that he just happened to be able to do but now that there’s another person in that spot he’s trying to emulate Batman since he’s working alone and Batman’s his idol.
Oh also the fact that it was Bernard who was about to be sacrificed is interesting. Like he’s one of the most recent kidnappings so it’s interesting that they’d choose him
Also the fact that Tim is taking the Tim to judge them when his friend/crush is literally about to be sacrificed. Can’t stop being a hater I guess.
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Love that Bernard is a fanboy just like Tim was.
Also Tim’s little gay panic there. He holds a boys hand and is immediately like “Is it supposed to be this warm?”
Love how Bernard immediately notices that Tim’s acting different it could be due to his Robin obsession but I also just think it’s cool how easily he understands him.
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Bernard really just almost got sacrificed and pops up ready to fight. He’s probably been waiting to fight alongside Robin for a long time since he is a fanboy
Oh Timmy Batman isn’t alone and you don’t have to be either. You have the Batfam. I find it silly that this idea is coming from Mr. “Batman needs a robin” himself.
Though perhaps he doesn’t mean physically alone. Because the Batfam isn’t keen to share their problems. They tend to try to be islands. Each individually dealing with their issues and hurts rather than opening up and leaning on eachother. They’ve learned their poor emotional communication from the best.
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Close enough welcome back Arthur Pendragon!
I have talked to friends and I have confirmed that I’m not the only one who thinks that first panel looks like Arthur (Come to think of it Tim looks kind of like Merlin too. Reincarnation au?)
Anyways I promise I had an actual thought regarding this interaction too. I love how Bernard is telling his crush to tell his crush that he wished they’d finished their date. Tim is just internalizing this and probably with that last word realizing what they could be.
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Like I said Tim’s having realizations.
Also I just love this page layout. The different sizes and shapes to represent the chaotic-ness of a fight. Bernard being the focus of the biggest moment to visually show the lightbulb moment and Tim’s fixation of him. Both of them just being flashes of certain moments almost like we’re Tim or Bernard glancing at the other to see what their doing. Ahhh! I love it!
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More Tim tech lingo! I love the focus on Tim being Techie and how that can cause him to think differently like he’s also just a computer with simple problems to fix. His realization that he’s different. That sure he didn’t realize he was Bi before but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t
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I know that the whole Batfam not choosing being vigilantes is a thinly veiled metaphor for Tim’s being queer (which is kind of funny because I feel like that almost implies that the rest of the Batfam is queer or maybe it’s just the inherent queer subtext of hidden identities), but also I do think that the police has a point in them not really choosing the vigilante life I mean sure they theoretically could have not been vigilantes, but it’s just a fundamental part of who they are so even if the law tells them not to they’re not going to turn back now. I don’t think any of them at the beginning could have seen the pain and problems that they did and not tried to fix it.
Also the I want over Bernard and how the next page is going to be him.
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And that’s the adorable conclusion. I love them! The way their figuring it out together! They’re both new to this. I love when couples don’t have to have it figured out. There’s no one right way to have a relationship
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mayariviolet · 29 days
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𝐏𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐞𝐚 / 𝐈’𝐦 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐧.
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Episode Two of First Love / Late Spring.
summary: “You believe me like a god; I'll destroy you like I am.” // “Please don’t look at me. I can see it in your eyes; he keeps looking at me. Tell me, what have you done?” //
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Some letters that were addressed to you dated before and after Suguru defected, still in their sealed envelopes.
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cw: f!reader x Geto, mentions of murder, blood, mental instability, swearing, suggestive themes, angst, Geto being over protective.
a/n: Hi… sorry it took me so long to update this my cousin died in March and I haven’t been the same since… Thank you all for being so patient! Also, so sorry if I forgot to tag someone on this update. My mind has been all over the place. Gonna also link the songs the titles are based on so y’all can see the vision fr. Also on Ao3.
wc: 5.9k
🏷️: @jeanboyjean @tacobellfreshavocado @r0ckst4rjk
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August 2007
One week before he defected.
Dear Friend,
Do you ever think about that saying, "people are captains of their own fate?" I do. Then again, what about those who think they're "captains of their fate." Or even worse- a fully prepared fool who still gets it wrong. Where do these people end up? Were they predestined to fail?
Anyhow, I think I'm about to make a big mistake.
Well, I've been thinking about this decision for a while. In general, I've been thinking a lot. You've probably noticed my absent stares and maybe you said something in regards to how I look. But I'm having trouble remembering. If you didn't notice, I don't blame you. Even though I want you to notice. You've been going gone through a lot. But then again, so have I.
Yuki and I had a conversation that stuck with me. If you're wondering, it's not about what my kind of woman is. I'm still embarrassed that you overheard that. Even more so, I didn't give a direct answer. However, I don't think my coy, halfway glances at you gave away too much…
When you pulled Haibara away for something I can't remember now (I think you were asking me to come take a look at your door), Yuki plopped down next to me. She was spread out obnoxiously, and my eyes were too heavy to see her expression.
Thus, I was resigned to her rants and entertained some of her ideas. Somewhere in that conversation it brought to light some questions that had been rattling around my brain after what happened with Rika. I'm trying to push away those uncertainties.
I should clear the air right now- you did what you could. What happened or did not happen is not your fault. I will tell you that a million times- however many you need.
If anything, it's my fault for not being there for you. I will always be there for you. It might be in a way that doesn't make sense, but I am there nonetheless.
Sorry about making excuses and skipping our movie nights. Sleeping has been difficult. Maybe it's because you're not here. I don't want you to worry about me- but I also do at the same time. It's an odd feeling, wanting something or someone, having multiple opportunities to do something about it, and letting time slip you by either way.
As I'm writing this, I remember a conversation with your mom about how "right now time is your friend. But later, time will be your enemy."
Maybe tomorrow we can have a conversation about how I'm feeling. I always feel at ease talking to you.
I hope that feeling is mutual.
Sincerely and with love,
Suguru.
Four days before he defected.
Dear Friend,
Uhm, unfortunately, our conversation did not… go well. That's putting it lightly. When I told you about my plan, the expression plastered on your face was something I would carry with me forever. It was agonizing to see you look at me with such disgust.
My chest was tightening, and I could feel you pulling at my hair sharply as you braided it before letting go. Watching you stomp out of my bedroom door through the reflection of my rickety vanity mirror, I have never felt worse in my life, but at the same time, so firm in the choice I'm making—a paradox in real time.
I didn't say it in my last letter, but I'm leaving Jujutsu Society and this bullshit mission made by people who probably need help wiping their ass.
Sorry, that last part was a little profane, but I know you agree with it. I mean, what good is there in protecting people who don't even appreciate what you do? I spent a lot of time reflecting on what happened in the last year and a half, outweighing the pros and cons. The pros obviously involved you, but the cons also involved you.
There's also the fact that I spend a lot of time sitting in my dark room- until the sun is barrelling over the horizon and seeping into my blinds. I wish you had been there during those moments. I'll think about our childhood, your birthday party, how we began writing letters, the day we got recruited to become Jujutsu sorcerers and the overwhelming optimism you had.
We had an opportunity to escape that hell hole town, and we took it without even thinking that staying there might have been less painful than leaving. Sure, we had a couple of surface-level friends, but at the end of the day, we had each other.
God, I wish that was enough.
I think about how happy people must be living in their ignorance, and I get angry again. So, I write. Primarily to you, even though I never express my frustrations. I'm infuriated that no matter what we do, how much we I excorsise curses (that, if born from my own emotions, would definitely be a Special Grade in its own right), it's not enough for those gas bags.
Yes, I might be considered one of the 'strongest,' but I don't want to be, at least, for people who don't deserve it. It's annoying, though, how you've maintained your optimism all of these years.
I shouldn't say annoying.
It's endearing how you want to nurture the world I want to burn to the ground. Well, 'burning to the ground' is a little extreme. I should say I want to make the world a better place for you and me, not those monkeys.
Emphasis on only for you and me.
Sincerely and with love,
Suguru.
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September 2007
The day he defected.
Dear Friend,
Well, what's done is done. I'm leaving today. I'd like to say that I'm going without any regrets, but I have one stupid thing sticking around my head. Yaga asked if there was anyone who might be interested in accompanying me on this mission I've been assigned. He kept glancing over my shoulder.
I didn't need to turn around to see who he was talking about. You and Satoru were doing some training or something of the sort. My fist tightened when Satoru told you a stupid joke, and you laughed.
I mean, he's not that funny…
I wasn't mad that you were laughing at his joke, obviously. I was furious because, for the first time since we were kids, I felt disconnected from my body. To be honest, I've been feeling like this for a while. Like I was floating above it all, and what I saw was a future without us, me, you.
You should know by now what I told Yaga.
I'll leave my door open with a note in the hopes you can understand. Or even better yet, come find me after this mission is done.
Sincerely and with love,
Suguru.
Two and a half weeks after he defected.
Dear Friend,
Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've been preoccupied with this mission and tying up some loose ends. I'll explain later, please don't mind the blood on this letter. I didn't write for a while since I half expected to see you with flushed cheeks chasing after me.
I should've known better than to wait for you.
Alas, laying low due to tying up said loose ends is proving to be quite time-consuming. So here's a recap of what I've gotten up to:
Finished the mission (easy work)
Adopted twin girls (not easy work)
Visited our hometown
Saw my parents (not easy work)
Visited your parents (kind of easy work?)
I checked in on that grandma we used to help (unfortunately, she's sick, so my visit was brief).
I explained to my parents the predicament I've found myself in (See the part where I said 'not easy work').
Argued with my parents and then yours.
Settled into my childhood bedroom from complete exhaustion of arguing with those monkeys.
Set a plan to finish up with my loose ends…
I hope you're well. The rain is washing away any residual blood (not mine) on my things. I'll have to stop by a pharmacy to get some hydrogen peroxide to lift any stains the rain might miss.
Drink some tea, and get some sleep. If you're missing me like I am missing you, just sleep with that sweater I gave you. Although it's not me, I hope it will be enough in the meantime. In a roundabout way, it's like I'm still there holding you while you sleep, right? At least, that's how I like to think about it.
Don't worry. I'm not mad that you kept it; I always thought it looked better on you than it did on me.
Sincerely and with love,
Suguru
(P.S.) My letters will be spread more from here on out. I don't want to accidentally leave anything that might make it easier for someone to find my whereabouts. That doesn't mean I'm not thinking about you. I'm always thinking about you.
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October 2007
One month after he defected.
Dear Friend,
It feels like every time I write to you, I apologize for not saying enough. Which is funny, because that's how we I started writing letters to each other in the first place. Well, kinda. From now on, I'll keep my apologies to a minimum.
It's hard to keep track of the days that are passing, but I know that by now, Satoru has told you what I've done. It's completely necessary, by the way.
Killing my parents. Killing yours. Killing that grandmother. She was sick anyway.
I would like to think I put her out of her misery. I killed whatever remained of that god-forsaken, hell-hole town. I'll spare the details of what happened when I exterminated our my old life.
Just know that I had no remorse for killing your father and only a little for your mother. They died knowing you were okay and, unfortunately, with a smile on their face. I was surprised that they didn't immediately turn into curses. I guess you've been talking to them. Or were talking to them.
When I left that town bloodied and empty, I felt like a bird finally escaping a circus master's cage. Doing all of this will make it easier to forget. It was the closing chapter of a book I had no pleasure in reading. Please don't thank me for what I've done.
Right now, Mimiko and Nanako (the twin girls I saved during that mission) are having a hard time sleeping. I'm watching their furrowed brows and how their mouths twitch in their sleep. I guess even in their dreams, they can't rest. Sounds like someone I know knew.
In about five minutes, one of them will wake up and then another. I'll need to tend to their troubled minds soon enough. Before that happens, I will say sorry one last time. Sorry.
Knowing you, you're probably waiting up for me, probably in your room, probably waiting with Satoru, whose sweaty palms and jittery disposition betray his cool facade.
Maybe Satoru will take my absence as an opportunity to teach you about Digimon. It will be nice for you to take up another hobby. Or get into gardening again. I remember how much you wanted to start.
Eat well, get some sleep (or try to), and be kind to yourself. At least enough for both of us. Hell knows I haven't done that in a while.
Sincerely and with love,
Suguru.
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November 2007
Two months since he defected.
Dear Friend,
There was something in my last letter that I forgot to mention. It was one of the things that I told Satoru. I said that I hated righteous people- which is true to some capacity.
Sincerely and with love,
Suguru.
Two and a half months after he defected.
Dear Friend,
We're getting rain again. I realized that I might be repeating the same mistakes as your monkey parents by being too proud to lease a decent place. But things are getting harder to maneuver through what little connections to jujutsu society I have without tipping off any higher-ups. Mei Mei offered me some jobs that she said 'wasn't worth her time for the money.'
I guess I'm worthless.
But money is money, and I have two daughters now. Is it possible for curses to smell even worse when the holidays come around? I suppose so- with all the lonely people without any family to celebrate with. You can't help but think that they may have isolated themselves. I don't blame them.
Long story short, I've scraped up enough money to lease a place away from the higher-ups. Should I start looking for furniture made by sorcerers? Or should I swallow my pride and just buy some mid-tier premade stuff? Second hand? But then again- there's the issue of residual curse energy. But I could always take care of that.
I'm feeling exhausted again.
Sincerely and with love,
Suguru.
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February 3rd 2008
Six months after he defected.
Dear Friend,
Maybe it's the nostalgia, maybe it's the first birthday I'm celebrating without you, but I keep reliving that weekend prior to it all. That house in Okinawa. The moon was hanging in the sky while the stars pricked the darkness, shining brightly. Sounds of waves crashing against the rocky shore, pulling whatever footprints or human error into the black abyss.
There wasn't a cloud in the sky. You insisted that Satoru get some sleep and that we take turns keeping watch. He shook his head and stupidly emphasized that he was fine. Satoru's heavily lidded expression did very little to disguise his fatigue- both of us could tell.
I was watching you, and you were watching him. I felt sick.
Satoru suggested that you get some rest first since you planned the whole trip for Rika, and you scowled before trudging over to the couch, insisting that you weren't tired. I wanted to grab your face and kiss that annoyance away, over and over again- maybe a little more. When you inevitably passed out, I glanced over to Satoru, who looked more alert now that you were asleep. It was like the task of keeping Rika alive had the same level of importance as dog sitting.
I wondered if you ever noticed. Or noticed that I've shared that same expression since we were kids.
I guess there's no use in ruminating. Today, I ran some errands, nothing major. I had a cake that Mimiko and Nanako decorated; they started calling me 'Papa Geto.' It's sweet.
I forgot to mention that while I was rearranging some furniture, a journal that I have kept since we were kids got knocked down from a bookshelf and pathetically fell on the ground. Mimiko and Nanako bolted like a feral tanuki.
I was mildly horrified at what they might have seen (before remembering that they aren't super great at reading yet, and then I relaxed slightly).
What happened next was probably worse than some scribbled preteen angst. They found the picture of us on your birthday, where I had your birthday cake all over my face. That was the first of many years when my parents bought you a birthday cake.
My girls laughed at me (why is it that when a child laughs at you, it's exponentially more mortifying than if an adult was?) but were incredibly kind to you.
After scolding them for not respecting other people's belongings (ironic given the subject matter of the photo), they apologized and asked who the 'pretty girl' in the picture was.
Embarrassment was replaced with excitement as I got to talk about you.
Anyhow, the money I've made from expelling curses prior to defecting is depleting rather quickly, so I need to come up with some plan.
Sincerely,
Suguru.
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April 2008
Eight months since he defected.
Dear,
Dear Friend,
Spring is here, and I have taken over the former Star Plasma Vessel Church, or cult, or whatever those idiots called it. In addition to having some stable footing, there's a roof over my head that I don't have to thank some monkey landlord for giving me it. It's very cozy, to say the least. Which I think was the realtors code for 'small and borderline inhabitable.'
It'll be some time before I'm able to build a decent following, but those who decided to stay will do so for now. Mimiko and Nanako are being homeschooled for the time being- until I find a school that is okay with my standards.
I was grocery shopping the other day, and I found some green tea that you might like. Before I could even think, it was in my basket next to some sugary cereal for my girls. I was mentally shooting myself in the foot because I'm on a budget (at least for a while).
I don't even like green tea, for goodness sake. But that night, I found myself fixing two cups, one with a dollop of sweetened condensed milk and a spoonful of honey, stirred counter-clockwise. The other one was disgustingly plain, and I steeped the leaves a little too long.
I drank the plain tea, stewing in my impulsivity. The other cup was a milky brown; it was unappealing and painfully sweet, yet I found a warmth spilling over me. I must have been half asleep, but somewhere in my delirium, I thought I heard you scold me for taking a sip of your drink.
My eyes shot open immediately, and I frantically looked around the kitchen. Had some monkey snuck up on me? I shudder at the thought. But that wasn't the case. Just my mind playing tricks on me. I should get more sleep.
I hope you've been getting some, too- you need to get stronger. Anyway, I finished the rest of my tea and grabbed the other cup, which was ice cold. I poured the drink and watched it trickle down the steel sink- before crawling into bed.
I don't know why I thought that was worth mentioning.
Sincerely and with love,
Suguru.
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June 2008
Ten months since he defected.
Dear Friend,
Do you ever think about how dreams can be worse than reality? Writing that down seems silly because you know more than anyone, and considering I've held you until we fell asleep, I should know the answer. In truth, whenever I held you, I thought it would be a good opportunity to say things to you that I couldn't do while you were awake, as if these letters weren't enough!
I used to say really embarrassing things and a sadistic part of me wished you would wake up and ask me if I really meant what I said- but I digress.
It's hard to distinguish alcohol-laced dreams (brought upon by terrible dates the girls have insisted I go on) from memories. All that to say, I had a vivid dream (?) of how I think my first kiss went.
Autumn had brought about a cool night and an impulsive decision to sneak into an amusement park. We drunkenly went on this massive Ferris wheel, and you pulled out a cigarette and offered me a drag. I said no, and for some reason, we got into an argument and then sat in silence.
At some point, I thought to myself, "When will this ride stop?" then, by some miracle, it did! We sat in silence, and then I started smoking a cigarette too. Maybe because it felt cold in my dream, but the warm glow of nicotine and your body kept me warm. Then I kissed you.
Writing about this now… it's too clear to just be a dream. I hope it wasn't a dream. My youth seems so distant compared to where I am now.
The humidity is so oppressive. I feel like I'm soaking in my own sweat. It seems a little facetious to say that now. I keep recalling pockets of my adolescence. It's kind of like a gum packet you thought was empty, but when you go to dispose of it- there are actually three pieces left.
There's poetry in that somewhere, not to mansplain. Obviously.
Excuse my tangents; I'm still trying to recruit new curse users, not to mention pacifying the congregation at my Church, and my mind is so disorganized.
What's new, though?
Sincerely and with love always,
Suguru.
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September 2008
One year since he defected.
Dear, Friend,
Dear Friend,
I went on a walk the other day. The sun was just rising above the horizon, nothing was open, and everything was quiet except for the few stragglers who had missed the last train. Some of them reeked of curses and desperation; it's enough to make a person grow a second stomach and throw it back up.
I did collect some in passing (in case I need it later), but I found no joy in helping others who can't even help themselves. This is what we sorcerers were made for, right? Cleaning up shit that's not even ours? I'm getting sidetracked again.
If you're wondering about my influence over the former Star Plasma Church- it's going okay. Slowly but surely, I'll get a more extensive following. I cannot remember if I told you this, but I have decided to promote myself as a monk. I am relying on word of mouth and exorcising curses or "performing miracles," to gain some trust.
Anyhow, if I'm going to exorcise these curses, I'll make sure to get a steady income. I am a father, after all. Hopefully, there's something else to gain from that. But I can only do this for so long. Please remind me to think of a more permanent solution.
The sun is rising again.
Sincerely and with love always,
Suguru.
(P.S.) I know you can't ever remind me of anything, really, but like always I feel a little more at ease writing this down.
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December 2008
One year after, he defected.
Dear Friend,
Merry Christmas. Or, happy holidays. I've been keeping busy, and I hope you have been, too. Technically, this is my second Christmas / Holiday without you. It's still as weird as the first.
Actually, I don't know if it will ever get comfortable.
People say that the holidays are the worst for people like me. Exacerbated loneliness and the weather all contribute to an increase in curses. It's great money, but how useful is that?
I mean, you could have all the money in the world and still be miserable. Recently, I've started to gain traction from this stout millionaire who always seems to have a gang of curses around at all times.
We met by an unfortunate yet beneficial accident. Apparently, he's one of the few dimwits who can see curses. He's been aimlessly wandering about, trying to find someone to help, but no one believed him.
I was taking the girls to an optometrist appointment, and while I was finishing some paperwork, I overheard this screeching. Curiosity took over me, so I snuck a glance into the room behind the secretary's desk.
There was a massive commotion with several doctors trying to reassure that man I was talking about before. It turns out that he could see curses, and when no one was looking, I exorcised them for him. It was second nature to help someone so pathetic. He kept on calling me a miracle worker- insane! I guess I've been like that since I was little… However, he kept thanking me, and an idea popped into my head:
If I can get a steady number of people to pay for my miracles, I could make an obscene amount of money and have better insurance for separation from the higher-ups.
This man seems to come from money or considerable influence. Maybe he can be my test case. It's getting late now, so I should get some rest. I have to dress up as Santa for Mimiko and Nanako.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Happy Birthday to Satoru.
Sincerely,
Suguru.
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March 2009
Two years since he defected.
Dear Friend,
Recently, I went on a hike. It was okay and long. The ground was wet, and when I got home, I found mud everywhere. I'll tell you about the trail. It was beautiful. A murmuring stream, the wind dancing through the budding trees and a dusty rose sky. You would have loved the flowers. Whenever I see anything flourishing after a tough season, I think about you.
Despite being filled with tourists, non-sorcerers, and whatever, I was able to enjoy the sunset. Mimiko and Nanako had extra tutoring lessons, so I took advantage of the little free time I had. However, after being constantly bombarded with questions about anything and seemingly endless children's movies, the quiet that followed disturbed me.
Once I reached the end of the trail, I found myself eager to see my girls. But the hike was long, and I thought it would be a waste if I didn't stay for a minute or two. I thought it would be nice to take some pictures, so I did that before locating a place to sit. I found a wooden bench tucked underneath this wisteria tree (how it grew there is a mystery). My mind wandered aimlessly; funnily enough, I just now remembered we had that assignment due before I left.
I apologize for not doing my part. Do you think we could still submit it? Haha.
Anyways, while sitting on a bench, I overheard two people talking. It was a boring conversation, definitely not worth eavesdropping on (you'd probably say otherwise), but for whatever reason, I decided to tune into the tail end of their conversation.
One of them had been blurting out facts in order to keep a dead conversation going. Some of it was interesting, but most of them were things that they probably saw on a popsicle stick. Their friend nodded along, listening intently. This went on for a while until the one who kept spewing facts (let's call them popsicles) said something along the lines of:
"Have you ever thought about how we're a mosaic of every person we've ever met, talked to, or loved?"
Even though I don't know them (nor do I care to), that was probably the most intellectual thing they've ever said in their lives. I thought to myself and laughed.
But then I felt a sort of heaviness in my chest. The more I observed them from my peripheral, the more I could see bits and pieces of the habits they shared. How they playfully hit one another after cracking a joke, covering their mouth after saying something slightly offensive. It made me nostalgic.
On my way back down the trail, I thought about you. It was nearly dark now. I thought about how if I was a mosaic of everyone I ever loved:
"How many pieces of you make up my whole?"
"Which parts of me do you keep?"
I'm glad I'm never sending these letters; I'm probably better off not knowing these answers.
Sincerely and with love,
Suguru.
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November 2010
Three years since he defected.
Dear Friend,
I've realized that it's not love I felt for you but obsession. It's harsh, cruel and painful to put you through that. For me, you were never home. That much is true. Which isn't to say you weren't something. You are a temple, and I am a sinner. If I were to step into the Holy Land you so graciously keep tidy, I would only desecrate it with my ideals.
Unfortunately, I do not want to bathe in the river to clean myself of these thoughts. So, I will seek refuge elsewhere. You deserve that after everything.
Sincerely,
Suguru
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April 2015
Eight years since he defected.
Dear Friend,
I don't think I'll ever get tired of writing to you. Even though you'll never read these, it's stupid how only now have I realized what your father meant when he said it was easier to write things than to say them out loud. Time really is my enemy now. My previous letters mentioned how well Mimiko and Nanako are doing in school. I just thought I would say that again. I'm so incredibly proud of them.
Maybe by now, you have kids of your own- I know that you'll treat them with kindness rather than the contempt your father displayed. I thought about my parents again and their role in my life, but not for long.
You probably saw them as a safe place; to me, they were just there. A starting point to the inevitable destruction brought about by my existence. Did you know that I thought I could always save them? They trusted me to do so and keep you safe as well. Funny how life throws us around.
Work is exhausting, and during the slower days, I let my mind wander to the possible outcomes had I stayed at Jujutsu Tech. Would I be a teacher? Would I be a good teacher? Are we both teachers? You're a patient person- I know that you would be a good teacher. A faculty favourite. How promising would my students be? What would our daily routine be like? How often do we get to see each other in between classes? Are we still friends?
Are we together?
Are we in love?
From what I've gathered, you've taken a bit of a leave…
I'll save myself the hurt of writing the reason why. We both know, and unfortunately, I understand.
There's a storm barrelling towards the Church. Actually, they've issued a squall warning. The skies are rolling with grey plump clouds. I wish I could tell you what a squall is- it sounds dumb, but apparently, it's dangerous.
Sincerely,
Suguru.
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September 2016
Nine years since he defected.
Dear Friend,
Allies seem to come from the most unlikely places. That man I was talking about before turned out to be a great asset. I've gotten more followers and even an assistant out of it! If you're wondering, yes, it's vital.
One thing I hate more than people who cannot use jujutsu is paperwork. It takes up so much of my time. Luckily, my secretary has been doing most of the heavy lifting now. We've been working long hours together, and to be honest, I don't mind. She's smart and beautiful. Her attitude kind of reminds me of you.
Sorry about the short letters- historically, mine have been longer than yours, but I have been planning something big that needs my attention. Not to mention, Mimiko and Nanako are entering their phase where everything I do seems to make them cringe.
Years ago, I said that children laughing at you was more mortifying than adults. I still believe that to be true; however, both cannot hold a candle to the shame and quickly depleting self-worth a couple of teenagers laughing at you but promptly saying, "Oh, it's nothing" can do.
My family is growing, not in the way yours is. Or so I've heard.
It fills me with so much joy to be surrounded by other like-minded people. People who believe that in order to obtain peace or a brief period of one- non-curse users should cease to be.
My heart is overflowing- but there's still a piece where you always will be.
Sincerely,
Suguru.
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November 2017
Ten years since he defected.
Dear Friend,
Do you ever think about who gets to determine the natural outcome of anything? Is it fate? Is it man? I suppose it's hard to say since answers vary from person to person. I would like to think that it's around sixty percent individual choice and forty percent chance.
I mentioned years ago about a man who could see curses; well, yesterday, I killed him. His use to me finally ran its course. I do thank him for all he's done and the people he's brought to me. My plans are coming to fruition. The Higher Ups have been tracking my movements and expanding my influence. I bet you have already had a debrief on what to expect.
I could see how, on your end, I'm being irrational or unreasonable. But I argue that cleansing the world of non-sorcerers is the only solution. Ending their suffering will put an end to ours.
But God, what I would pay to hear what Yaga is saying! He's probably wearing those stupid sunglasses and cursing. Satoru has asked me to meet with him- probably to ask me, yet again, if I'm really going through with the Night Parade.
My answer remains firm: yes. He's probably going to tell me to stop and think about you.
Like I've said before and like I always tell Satoru, I always think about you. When I meet with Satoru, I'll ask him if he can pass along how I want to see you. The girls are calling me to take them out, so I'll perform my fatherly duties.
I hope you'll say yes. I need to see you at least once.
Sincerely,
Suguru.
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December 2017
Three days before the Night Parade of 100 Demons.
Dear,
I must be some sort of pervert to believe that you would run away with me. I don't think pervert is the right word, but that's how I felt right then and there when you rejected me. In all fairness, I couldn't think appropriately after seeing you.
Then again, you must have some masochistic tendencies to agree to meet with me. Your hair looked beautiful, and the way the cigarette burning a bright cherry red hung on your cracked lips reminded me of that night on the Ferris Wheel, which, in fact, did happen.
I came across some old letters to confirm my hazy memory. When the snowflakes landed on your eyelashes, I just about melted, like when the sleepy snow makes its warm welcome for spring. The moon was casting shadows on your tired but beautiful face. You had a glow that made hearing you curse me out a tad more bearable.
But I'm rambling. You couldn't think about going to Shinjuku, right? I could never stop you, even more so now, but I can't back down. Not even for you- which I think was detrimental for us both ten years ago and now.
Seeing you standing next to Satoru, cursing at me, with his hand placed firmly on your hips with a face full of disdain, I think I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. But that's not a proper death. You should be standing next to me!
I watched you walk away in the dark night with a sense of urgency, a new purpose. You will probably fight in your own way, but please let me do this.
I'm not asking you- I am begging you to let me take care of you one last time.
You might not believe me, but everything I have done until now, all the blood I have shed, has been for you. I promise I will spare your children (to be fair, raiding the Gojo estate would be a waste of good sorcerers), but I can't make any promises for anyone else who stands in my way.
It seems contradictory, but I know what I am doing is right.
When I write to you again, it will be something you can read- in the new world, and we will have all the time in the world. No longer beholden to curses, only each other.
Sincerely and with all my love,
Suguru.
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a/n: Suguru Geto. The man that you were and the man that you became. I love you either way, my beautiful raven-haired, purple-eyed princess. We’re about half way there! Thank you all for being so patient these last couple of months🤍. Also, apologies for any inconsistencies, I have tried my best to remember the details of this story wah!
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© Please do not copy or replicate my work. Inspiration is appreciated, but credit properly! ♡
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zaebucca · 10 months
Text
About scale, process, palette and canvas: a few considerations on pixel art as a medium
User moredogproblems answered an interesting and legitimate question by another, DiscountEarly125, regarding my work and canvas size. He also perfectly isolated two central concepts of pixel art, which are scale and process. Canvas size, which was the theme of DiscountEarly125's specific request, is more of a dependent variable to those two aforementioned concepts, rather than a starting point. I hope the following considerations I shared may help or prompt some other ideas, but this is what I could come up with 15-ish years of experience with pixel art (and a few more years of art and media studies). I was quite in the mood of writing down these few thoughts that have been floating for a while. I apologize as this may also result in a confusing wall of text, but it is all part of a my work and research, and I would love to polish all the material, hopefully with some thoughts, insights from other colleagues, as well as pictures and materials!
A. Scale and canvas size It is true that the bigger the canvas, the more distance one may visually create from pixel art, but I personally think this is to be possibly considered a matter of perceiving pixels, rather than a fundative problem of the medium. In fact I concur with the idea of "process makes the medium" rather than identifying pixel art as how (evidently) pixeled the result feels. The general picture, or the sum of pixels, though, is a really important matter to the medium nonetheless! Pixels themselves work in relation one with another, so it's their overall result that gives context and makes the subject recognizable. This relationship between pixels links back to all the art fundamentals that each artist is taught, from color theory to shape and composition - and so on. So, the canvas size debate usually boils down to a matter of scale or necessity of your subjects. As long as the dimension (canvas) of your subject (as in: a drawing of an apple, a character sprite, a mockup environment) allows you to operate, control and keep an eye on the quantity (number/area of pixels together) and quality (color, shaping of multiple pixels, texturing obtained through color and shapes) of isolated single pixels or pixeled areas, you're in the pixel art universe. The other way around to define the matter of scaling: in order to be operating pixel art fundamentals and techniques, your subject has to be on a scale that allows you to apply principles of pixel art within the space of your canvas and your personal style. These very same principles, or basics, can be applied with different results and extent to bigger and smaller canvases alike, each with their own specific difficulties and variables. It is important to adapt your scale when learning, and trying classic canvases per subject like "16x16px" (standard tile or character sprite unit, tied to older consoles and screen ratios, it's a bit complicated there) is always a nice idea - they also tend to be industry benchmarks and necessities so in case you'd like to consider a professional output, that's very useful.
Scale also applies to the array of colors, and there lies the concept of palette: a number of single hexadecimal hues we are using for each single pixel. Any single pixel can have one hexadecimal color only.
Consequentially it is absolutely true that either a huge canvas or a palette too broad may prevent a viewer from perceiving immediately the "nature" of your medium, namely seeing square pixels, recognizing a certain amount of color - or more thoroughly recognizing that you made some choices for each subject on a pixel level. What could possibly happen on a huge canvas (without zooming in) is that you can't really grasp the pixels, but just the "overall picture" - and that may not differ too much from digital, raster art, which is of course also based on pixels. Therein appearently lies a sort of threshold that is really hard to pin down for us pixel artists, as it depends on screen size, visualization methods, distance, filters and lots of other inherently subjective parts.
This kinda is my case sometimes: I make big environments (possibly too big, and too detailed in each part I tell myself) that are a sum of many lesser parts: both tilesets and sprites that relate (but not strictly adhere) to a basic space unit that is 16x16pixels. You can indeed consider scale in a broader sense as a subdivision or magnification issue, much alike squinting your eyes to focus on a picture's overall contrast or, conversely, analyzing its fundamental parts with a magnifying glass, and then a microscope - an analogy as follows:
a. the picture as a whole is like a colorful rock that you can analyze by magnifying its grain. b. the characters, geographical elements and textures, works like the different substances that compose the rock and give its visible characteristics grain and complexity, c. single pixels constitute the very atoms of those previously recognized substances.
I mean "atom" in the traditional, classical meaning of indivisible, fundative object. That's a "quantized" part of information, which for pixel art is ultimately color (or a binary value, like yes/no black/white). If you were, for example, to crop some parts of my work - let's say 160x144 pixels (a gameboy screen resolution in pixels) you would see the substances that are characters and elements of nature, and when you zoom in again, every atom becomes visible as a single entity of color. There are 29 different type of "atoms" in Ruin Valley as in different, singularly hexadecimal colors that work together in different combinations and shapes to create different substances and characters. 18 of them are used for the different qualities of the environment, and 11 more for extra hues for characters and other elements to pop out a bit.
It's really interesting to see how many pixel artists push this "threshold" of pixel art canvases to the extremely small or the extremely big, whereas, notably, palettes are less open to growth: it is indeed my opinion that pixel art tends to quantize color (quality) over than dimension (quantity). Palettes, notably, do not grow exponentially, but tend to a lower, fixed, controlled amount of individual values instead. This usually gives the artist the true possibility and toolkit through which is possible to think about/with pixels. In other words: color (or its absence) is the founding unit and identity of pixel art as a digital medium.
B. Pixels as process or pixels as objective? Pixels themselves (as strange as that may sound!) are not to be considered an objective of pixel art, I think, but the founding matter of its research as a medium instead. I think that making pixel art is not just devoting oneself to show those jagged, squarey areas or blunt edges that we all know and love: this is just one of the possible aesthetics that pixel art conveys or adopts - especially on small canvases. Pixel art is not about denouncing itself as pixels, but, rather, embracing the square, atomic unit to build an ensemble that conveys a content or a style. That's the important part of the discourse that emancipated pixel art into being a medium, and not just an aesthetic choice or style of representation. Again: process makes this medium. Speaking of that, I consider pixel art as part of a broader family of "quantized art", namely media that operate on/with "indivisible, founding bricks and unities" that can assume a certain quality (color, mainly) within a certain quantity (palette, canvas size) and in relation to its surroundings to describe something. This puts pixel art, with its specifics and with a certain degree of semplification, among other mediums such as cross-stitch, bead art, construction sets, textile art (on a warp and weft basis), (micro-)mosaics and others.
A classic threshold example of process vs objective: oekaki art. Oekaki art - which I love and also happen to make from time to time - doesn't really work or "think" specifically on a pixel base: it doesn't place pixels per se, but uses pixel-based areas and textures on bigger canvases with a certain degree of freedom, like one would normally do with brushes on raster digital art programs (adobe ps, gimp, clip studio and so on) in order to convey an aesthetic with fewer colors and a certain line style and texturing. That way, oekaki uses and knows pixels in a deep way, but doesn't see them primarily in a quantized way. As a result the "overall picture" shows pixels to a certain extent, and it's possible to recognize distinct pixels for each part, but the objective is not an analysis and use of pixel and quantized information, but the use of an aesthetic based upon accessibility of resources, their control and a certain rendering style.
A huge part of pixel art is its absolute accessibility: everyone with a fairly outdated computer or screen and a basic drawing program can study the medium. To be fair, it's indeed considering accessiblity that I highly support an inclusive approach to the term "pixel art" and I think traditional oekaki is a close, beautiful relative that builds upon the rules and techniques of pixel art and pixel rendering, yet keeping its identity as its very own medium - somehow like a dress may be built around/upon textile design. Anyway, boundaries are meant to be crossed and I think there definitely are lots of oekaki and pixel-based art that meet traditional pixel art mid-way - or further. I also think the "is it pixel art?" discourse possibly ensuing - and generally speaking any media belonging purist ontology - is a treacherous, slippery terrain leading to excesses, and this is not my focus today, neither am I able to tackle that subject extensively at the moment.
C. Conclusions and a few good exercises Everything above may be farfetched or too complicated as a starting point. I tried to write all down as orderly as possible. The point of this (possibly discouraging) analysis and the reasoning between scale and process is that (pixel) art is about trying different canvases, and reasoning on one's subject and objective, rather than limiting oneself to presets sizes or styles. It's important to choose something that resonates with us and, in doing so, thinking about other, more interesting limitations: that's the discourse about quantity of space and quality in color. Limiting is the best possible exercise and one I wholeheartedly encourage: by doing so we are progressively delving deeper on the basics, as we learn the fundamental relationships between shapes and colors that we can achieve through pixels. A few good exercises that I too implemented in my own workflow come to mind: 1. Trying different canvases (or sizes) for the same subject (sprite, character art, illustration or so on). This helps a lot finding a comfortable size to apply pixel techniques, as well as getting a hold over fundamentals such as aliasing, linework, conventional representation and so on. 2. Trying different palettes for the same subject, both by varying colors themselves (therefore learning about values and contrast and readability, as well as atmosphere and mood!) or singular hues and their components, in order to discover possible relationship between them. Have fun! 3. Reducing the width of the palette progressively for the same subject: reducing the number of singular colors forces a reasoning on shapes, rapresentation. You may go from 1-bit art (just black/white) to 3 colors, 4, 8 and so on. We'll not talk about transparency as a singular color there, but if you happen to be interested in retro art, transparency counts to the palette size. This exercise is very useful in rendering, and possibly tricky. And definitely fun. :') 4. Choosing an objective and usage of our work: for example trying to learn about old pixel art limitations for games, in order to reason within specifics. Get inspired by traditional games (spriters-resource is your best friend here, in case you have a specific retrogame you're thinking of)! I will probably talk about limitations and style on another post. 5. Four eyes (and other multiples) are better than two: try to talk with people and friends and other artists you trust and feel comfortable with to get their point of view. This can be scary, I know, especially at the beginning. You're not forced to, of course, but if you do (in a safespace) there's lots you can learn about concepts such as readability, subject recognition, rendering and composition. Our eyes and brains get accustomed to something, and pixel art being a rather analytic medium made of synergies, subtle changes, limitations and conventions is especially tricky on the artist's eyes on the long term. Either way, the important thing about pixel art is understanding that this medium is about recognizing and enjoying the process rather than the eventual aesthetic and in order to do so the best choice is to start simple, small, with few colors and techniques at a time! Have fun and hit me up with your progress and considerations. :')
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lacktastrophe · 4 months
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Seeing the beginning of the latest chapter made me think of something regarding Confrontation. So far, only Lucy has suffered from recurring PTSD from that chapter while Daisy recalled enough to understand that Augustus was linked to Alejandro in some way. As far as what I can recall from memory, the trauma from Confrontation carried on in two characters. (1/2)
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This one came in a few weeks ago and I hadn't really been on Tumblr in a while, sorry Anon. Between a bad headspace and distracted it's been hard to concentrate on BCB these last few weeks.
I feel like so far; it's just Lucy, so far. Daisy has been through some traumatic events through chapter's like "Love my Way" and "Confrontation" but I'm not ready to accept that it was ptsd back when she figured Augustus out, she dealt with that like a champ without appearing like there was negative consequence. But with the way appearances have been in this comic recently, she utterly could have some sort of behaviour pattern we're just thinking is part of her character. It's really hard right now to nail down if particular behaviour traits link back to Confrontation. I feel the only real way to tell for sure is to have the story hold a magnifying glass like in the current chapter.
But I think that's something we might see in future chapters, because if it could appear like the kids could get over an evening like Confrontation without much issue (as we saw at the end of that chapter), only for Lucy to find a trigger point years later, it really is a question if they too have similar trigger points that they have stepped on/will step on, or whether they have and it's become part of their character, because we've seen some interesting decisions from them from time to time.
But yeah, I really can't say for certain, i can only really speculate that maybe we had been? But there's very little hard evidence.
But I've wonderrred~
I honestly have been wondering if the characters have been dealing with some form of ptsd from that evening all this time, but it's not at all obvious and it's been going on unnoticed as if it's been part of their character, or even reinforcing particular traits we've already seen. With the way the story's written it's pretty hard to nail down something unless there's a point where there is a magnifying glass over it, some frames and actions might carry multiple meanings, or at least a deceptive one. We've needed to wait until Lucy had properly come back to really learn there had been consequences, so now if it's true for the others, it's time to link up behaviours.
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But regarding deception, kind of like these frames! I had originally read this thinking the marks in Lucy's palms were a ptsd response from an earlier point where she had remembered being involved in a car crash when Sam, her older brother, drove her one time. But that doesn't make sense when you think about it, because ptsd happens when there's something there that elicits it -- they're far from his car and they've just been walking -- the ptsd response is originating from Paulo's presence.
I'm starting to wonder if Daisy's sudden exit from the events in Date Night might've have been something similar, that subtle behavioural pattern we are looking for. In all likelihood this page just exists that to show yet again Daisy was unable to find the means to confess or keep Paulo's attention. The last couple of chapters have been making a few running gags about how she has managed to become a bit of the third wheel between Paulo and David (or I guess the 5th wheel when they all stumbled upon James and Mike). But Daisy's sudden exit and the last page of that chapters makes me wonder if there might be something more going on.
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C'mon Daisy, you used to be EVERYWHERE when you were pining over Mike, but you can't do the same for Paulo C'MON....
It's a pretty big stretch -- and we're alllllll very much aware of Daisy's self-esteem, self-confidence issues and her struggles when it comes to admitting her interest in Paulo when he's gone after so many other women. Having her dip in moments like these is something different. It's like the energy she usually exerts just...disappears, it's weird she can't exist in the same capacity she did to Mike like in the very early parts of the story too. Is it still there or did that just disappear into the wind? Because there is this sense of powerlessness in Daisy these days? Does it go back to that same night where she was similarly way out of her own league and unable to do anything?
And (and this is a fucking huuuuuge streeeeetch) but I keep thinking back to Double Down and wondering whether maybe Paulo making a second ditch attempt to try and appeal to Lucy made me wonder if something from Confrontation could be involved with his constant need to chase Lucy.
Paulo x Lucy died on 7/7/17 in everyone's favourite chapter After You where Paulo had finally been able to ask Lucy the question, and she pretty much destroyed him by telling him there was no love, she used him and frankly he never had a chance. After that chapter and in Double Down we thought they were very much done. We thought Paulo had moved on.
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.....Christ, Paulo really doesn't know how much he's fucking up already. No wonder Lucy dug her claws into her palms.
A little later in the same chapter, we see a vain attempt by Paulo's to try and assure Lucy to get her to open up again, kind of like how he became a shoulder in...well, Another shoulder. This is made under the guise of hoping that Lucy will return to the lunch table and resume being a friend, but in later pages, while it's possible it was honest, when the question of relationships comes up, or at least the status, we start seeing a change.
What happens after is Paulo suddenly turning extremely petty and aggressively competitive.
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It's not uncommon to see Paulo resorting to some childish shit like he would in an early chapter of BCB, but such flippant moment like this one where one moment Paulo appears grounded -- ready to move mountains in accommodating her and getting her to open up more like she did years ago -- only to suddenly shift into what feels like similar behaviour from middleschool -- where things are almost a game in getting the attraction and attention of Lucy particularly when there's a rival, like Mike, or Augustus in this case.
And this moment could well just be another case of -- another day, another occasion of Paulo being a fucking idiot. We're all very much aware of his image and him always resorting to faking for his insecurities and how he tends to belittles others he doesn't like. We've seen this before recently too in chapter's like Time Out just to maintain this idea, where Paulo is admonished by his peers for acting immaturely towards Abbey, and then later losing his cool against him. Things are looking pretty normal here!
But I'm wondering if we should this time? Getting slapped in the face sure would suck, but Volume 1 (or do I just say early Omnibus these days?) Paulo lived for it -- He's a strange creature that sees getting struck in the face worth it because the attention is the payoff. But it doesn't happen this time; it slaps him out of whatever's currently going on and we see a tantrum mixed in with some actual remorse. The tantrum is understandable, it's further reinforcement he just does not have a chance with her. However Paulo admitting how badly he fucked up this time around makes you wonder if there's something more going on than just this jealousy we perceive, where Augustus has filled in what would've been his place had he not severely fucked things up with her trust back in back and forth.
Paulo blames his pride for storming off but is his pride really the issue like he claims?
I feel like similarly with Paulo's antics, we also feel like we might be familiar with his pride. But there had been moments where Paulo's pride had been tested, and it's...different from what you'd expect. There are moments where how we think he would react, he doesn't?
I'd think it would be a pretty normal response for you to be pissed off if you found you were used by the person you thought was reciprocating your feelings. It's demoralizing and degrading thing, but in Paulo's case, despite how his pride might be at the forefront, it takes a backseat here especially when it's obvious he becomes offended.
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...But nevermind why won't you be my girlfriend?
What absolutely kills me is that Paulo just wants off the ride from that point but doesn't ask why she doesn't want to. It's possible he is just too upset and wants off the ride but he's also okay with just being bullied into going to Daisy's party, almost like she's calling a favour. Paulo chooses a weird time to be accommodating, like thanks for destroying my heart Lucy but yes I'll do what you say.
He should definitely go to the party though, so thanks Lucy.
Paulo might end up just being a simp who can't stop cute girls from bullying him like we see at the end of that chapter. We've come to agree with this over years of the comic, it's what we expect. But where's the real limit for Paulo's pride here when it comes to girls and when he's gone through enough pain and humiliation?
And then we get to one of the more recent pages, and despite EVERYTHING that has happened to this man from this woman, he's like this.
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HE STILL THINKS HE HAS A CHANCE? SHE BROKE YOUR HEART TWICE AND YOU'RE BACK FOR A THIRD?
I get Paulo is not giving up and trying his best to be accomodating, but how much abuse can the man keep taking? How can you be like this despite being used?
I have faith in Veronica's storytelling. If she can just whip out Lucy's recurring nightmare in our faces so suddenly and that explains all of Lucy's behaviour between December to the recent chapter, then I feel like there has got to be something else that's planned going on here with Paulo. I am still absolutely preparred for the day where he really just is this pushover simp, but every part of me is screaming that there might be something else going on here, because jesus christ, this man...
That leaves the question of what, then? You do have to wonder whether he really did get off scott-free after that evening like what it initially appeared, it's very easy for Paulo to push things to the back of his mind and fake things out as we've seen with most times in the past. But did his pride let this slide as easy as it appeared? It doesn't take much for Paulo taking offense when being slighted by women, like Tess when she thought Paulo couldn't reach the level she wanted in a relationship despite everything he tried. Would it have been just as easy for Paulo to move on from being mostly incapacitated from a barkphobia and a beat down. He showed a lot of bravado that night but it didn't amount to much, so, you really have to wonder.
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After that evening is Paulo doing some magic work with Daisy explaining that everyone has particular strengths. I'm pretty sure this was enough to help her get over that evening, but it's all things amazing coming from him despite the beatdown he received, but we do have to wonder if he was able to take his own advice because man there are fights he just isn't capable of winning, Lucy is just one of them. Did he really come out scott-free too?
So I wonder if that's it. Paulo might be not be giving up on Lucy, and appearing accommodating because he does care and hurt to hear she attempted suicide. But maybe Paulo's unable to let go for another reason, the chance for a relationship with Lucy is just not going away and he needs that, but why can't he just move on despite all the bad she's admitted?
Could we link it back to Confrontation? Could it be that Lucy trying to protect them (or at least just Mike) rubbed off on him some way given his mother walked out on him and the next best support he has is Daisy, maybe Lucy is a stronger rolemodel? So he's willing to forgive that so long as he has that assurance, perhaps?
Thrill of the chase used to mean something else, but that term's come up again, and while it meant Paulo treating her like an achievement, you have to wonder if there's a different meaning this time.
Well, we can only speculate. I'm thinking similar to Daisy, if there is something going on here, it's very subtle and likely already become part of their character. it's going to be as long running and likely as subtle and it's causing Paulo's to go back to chasing Lucy around like he used to, at least it feels that way.
Sue's a bit of an unknown given she doesn't have as much screentime. But I had always wondered if her continued insistence at being/trying to be a leader (Helloooooo Critical Hit) is just more than just something she does given it was in Confrontation where we saw her initiating attempts to find a way home and, well trying to mitigate Alejandro and try to defend Paulo throughout the end of that chapter. We haven't really ever seen Sue involved in a subservient role (I'm assuming she is definitely running their little MMO game) so I really wonder if there's something there in making up for not being as effective a leader and wrangling everyone to work together like she could in Confrontation.
At the same time I'm honestly embracing a wildcard surprise like Sue's mother likely enrolled her in therapy and it just....mitigated the issue.
But yeah, I have no answers.
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trans-cuchulainn · 4 months
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so i’ve been drawing ulster cycle/tain bo cuailnge characters for a while now and a problem that i have repeatedly run into is that i have no idea how these people dress. their clothes always end up looking wrong and i don’t know where to look to find good info about it or references to work from, and it can be difficult to differentiate the more faithful depictions from the stereotypical “ancient celtic warrior” stuff, especially since i’m not well versed in most of the texts they’re based on. do you have any advice/resources/tips/anything to help? thanks :)
i am not particularly an expert on historic clothing and i have to admit it's not an area i have a great deal of knowledge about in the context of the ulster cycle specifically but here are some thoughts!
a good starting point would be the descriptions of clothes within the texts themselves. so you can just go to the online edition of o'rahilly's translations (recension 1 / book of leinster) and search a word like "cloak" or "tunic" and get all the descriptions of cloaks and tunics that show up in the story itself. e.g:
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this is a good starting point bc what you'll be representing is at least clothing as it's presented in these stories even if it doesn't necessarily 100% represent historical fact, because it's often stylised, idealised, uses colours for symbolic value rather than practicalities of dyeing etc
(here's a link to the index of translated texts on this part of the CELT site if you wanna have a browse for others)
but that can be tricky without visual references which is where you start needing other sources
and that's where it's worth noting that the ulster cycle texts are set a long time before they're written, but the material culture in the stories is generally neither a historically accurate representation of the distant past, or a totally contemporary and up-to-date depiction of what people were wearing at the time (bc there's a degree of archaising and trying to make stuff sound old and also drawing on earlier sources). so you end up with multiple options for what period you might be trying to represent -- ~1st cent BCE when they're set? ~8th cent when our earliest surviving stories show up? ~11th-12th cent when TBC was written in its surviving form?
the good news is that you can probably learn a lot from reenactors and experimental archaeologists and living history types -- from vikings in ireland through to normans in ireland is pretty well covered in that regard, but there's some earlier bronze-iron age stuff as well, and that should give you some visual references to draw on. i'm sure some more reenactment and living history minded followers of mine will have specific recs for resources there, but you could try looking at the UCD experimental arch folks, craggaunowen living history centre in the west of ireland (they have a video on weaving and clothing), the dublinia museum for viking-age stuff, etc
and the big advantage of the texts not being "historically accurate" themselves is that you don't have to stick too closely to a specific century or whatever if you don't want to! not that the basic design of a tunic would change a huge amount but if you wanna mix and match the vibes somewhat, nobody could really call you out on it
the HARDEST part is probably representing armour, which shows up fairly rarely, but you've got things like cu chulainn's 27 'waxed shirts' and i've seen various theories about what that's supposed to entail but i don't think there's a definite answer. having said that, most of the time he's not wearing that so you can just... ignore it, if you want to and don't want to conform to any specific theory about it lol
finally you can't go wrong with tunics. just layers of tunics. long tunics under short tunics. tunics with cloaks. fancy tunics. simple tunics. people loved a tunic
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edalynn · 10 months
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hii hope you don't mind me asking but why do you hate huntlow?? (genuinely curious) I personaly love the owlhouse and kin hunter and it's one if my favorite ships :0
I was just going to not answer this ask as I feel like I've repeated the many reasons I hate hunt/low in the past, but I realize I've never put it all in one place. I'm going to start by linking some asks or posts of mine that are a smorgasbord of things I or others have pointed out regarding what's wrong with the ship itself for some reference points.
X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X | X
And I'll add my "Hunt/low Trope Bingo Card" that gives us a fun diagram of multiple problematic tropes that Hunt/low falls under
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Let me start of with the ship itself. Hunt/low quite literally makes both characters' arcs irrelevant. Willow's entire arc about learning to be confident in herself, overcome her bullying, and be strong for herself and her friends is basically entirely erased when you put her with Hunter. Her whole arc is that for a lack of better words, she saved herself and is her own person. Yes, she had the help of Luz and Gus, and later Amity after they began mending their friendship, but her whole thing was being strong and confident on her own. In concept, giving Willow a pretty boy boyfriend immediately makes her arc less impactful than if she's never paired with anyone in the story, because her story is about her own self growth. Not being saved by having a conventionally attractive boyfriend. And in practice, we actually see it happen. Willow is dumbed down and made insanely out of character in almost the entirety of the third season, particularly in FtF. She's shown multiple times throughout the end of the season (Actually, in S2 as well) needing to be physically saved by Hunter specifically when she's always been shown she can stand up for herself before. And, yes, you could argue that "Willow doesn't always need to be the strong one!", and you'd be right! But the fact that the second she becomes friends with Hunter, the way her character is written changes dramatically. We see her need to be saved over and over, and it is literally only by Hunter. If this wasn't the case, I would agree with that, but unfortunately it's not. Her growth and "revolutionary" strong-on-her-own arc is entirely negated if she is put in a relationship with Hunter.
On the flipside, Hunter's arc is just as equally, if not more, irrelevant. Hunter's arc is also about finding himself and finding a group of people that are his pseudo-family. His growth is his journey to becoming his own person, away from his abusive parental figure. In concept, Hunt/low makes all of Hunter's trauma, abuse, and loss meaningless by falling into the trope of "romantic love heals all", which is both dangerous for young fans who will believe that and a slap in the face for every abuse victim that relate to Hunter. It's like saying that nothing bad he experienced mattered or had any lasting impact, because you give him a strong girlfriend and poof! All the problems go away and are solved! And I shouldn't have to explain why that message is insanely harmful. As with Willow, we see this happen in action as well. Any time there's a nod to Hunt/low in the show, Hunter's trauma immediately doesn't seem to matter. This is shown the clearest when he is literally not allowed to grieve Flapjack's death because it "upsets" Willow and he has to run after her to comfort- and later save- her. The writers actually made it so that Hunter is made to feel guilty for showing sadness about Flap because it made Willow feel like she "can't do anything right", making the entire scene about how he had to save her and put his grieving of Flapjack to the side. I think as an abuse victim, this is the one thing about Hunt/low that makes me the angriest. And to dip my toes into a later point- fan creators that ship Hunt/low also do this in their fanworks. Moringmark is a BIG perpetrator of the Hunter abuse denial rhetoric.
The way they are intended to be written, these two arcs contrast each other, not complement them. It makes no sense for them to be shipped. And further, the context & content we get in the actual show has a staggering lack of depth or intention. Every interaction they have feels out of character and as if their personalities have to be entirely re-worked for them to even interact- and those are just the miniscule amount of times they actually interact. There's almost no actual content for Hunt/low in the show, it's never acknowledged by other characters how they do with Lumity and Raeda, and they literally almost never interact in the show until FtF. There is no logical reason that anyone should assume they were even interested in each other (aside from Hunter's blink-and-you-miss-it blushes) and you could probably count on both hands how many times they actually interacted with each other on screen both before the Day of Unity, and until FtF. And I'd go as far as to say that when they do interact, they barely even act like friends. Willow spends almost the entirety of TtT ignoring Hunter (assumably unintentionally, but they almost never interact and the episode was literally based around Hunter as one of the main characters in it) aside from the hair cutting scene- which contextually made no sense to be done by Willow- and the after-possession scene- also made no sense contextually for him to have his head on Willow's lap. She literally makes fun of him at one point, with Amity being the one to basically say "guys that's mean, Hunter I don't want you to get made fun of by others please change". How does any of that read as a healthy or loving ship? Much less even a friendship. By the time they get to the Human Realm, Willow and Hunter have interacted, what, maybe three times? Once during ASIAS (Where Willow forgives him way faster than she should have for her character, when she literally took months to fully forgive Amity- and Ami didn't kidnap her), Once during LR (Where Willow literally is shown as not caring, liking, or trusting Hunter until he says something that proves he was with Gus), and then on the mission with Luz & co. to rescue Amity leading to the Day of Unity. The ship both in context & in practice completely obliterate not only both characters' arcs as stated above, but also wreck their personalities, making them every other generic girl and boy in a generic m/f ship.
Moving onto the fandom in relation to Hunt/low. Let me set the scene. This show, The Owl House, in and of itself is for a Queer audience. That doesn't mean cishet people cannot enjoy it, but it is a silent "stay in your lane". TOH was REVOLUTIONARY for Queer mainstream media with the main character being the first main character on an animated show by Disney to be openly Queer. Luz is openly bisexual and has a girlfriend! She comes out to her mom! Her adoptive mother, one of the other 3 main characters, ends up in a canon relationship with her Highschool Sweetheart, a nonbinary person, and is ALSO openly bisexual! So why is Hunt/low treated as if it is the "third main ship" on TOH, when it ISN'T EVEN CANON. Why is it treated as if it's on the same level as Lumity and Raeda!? Why are there fanartists and other creators that ONLY draw or write Hunt/low!? It's insulting honestly! And I, as a queer person, am being so dead serious. it's fucking insulting. And the way Hunt/low shippers treat people that don't ship it is disgusting. Their go-to defense tends to be "Crying Wolf", or claiming any kind of "-phobia" they can to make their ship seem "more valid". You have no idea the amount of times I and my mutuals have been called "biphobic" or "fatphobic" or any number of other insults. When more often than not, It's Hunt/low shippers that I see ignoring Hunter's bisexuality, or worse, disparaging people for shipping Hunter in a mlm relationship. Or worse- saying certain ships (Huntric/Goldric) are inc/estuous because of Aladarius, which also is not even canon (And neither is "Dadrius" while I'm at it, but that's a totally different argument for a different day.). I see them use his bisexuality as fodder constantly. And I won't even mention the mischaracterization by every single Hunt/low fan I've ever seen, making Willow anywhere from Girlboss to Tradwife or Mom Girlfriend, and Hunter from Malewife to Wet Cat to Protector Boyfriend.
The crew also did not help the situation at all. Multiple Storyboard artists or other crew members have openly admitted to attempting to (or succeeding to) force Hunt/low into the storyline, always at the scolding of Dana who would make them remove it or tone it down as it didn't fit her vision of the show. I've seen multiple crewmembers say this- it's not just a one off thing. Or the crew member who once said she didn't care that the ship name "Winter" (the crew's ship name for Hunt/low) made it hard to block/tag because she liked how it sounded. It's just. I've seen so many instances of Dana's crew being that disrespectful to her and attempting to push their own personal feelings and ideas into the show against her wishes.
I could probably go on forever, so I'll stop here. But yeah. That's the basics of why Hunt/low is a shitty, harmful ship.
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orphiclovers · 5 months
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Hope you don't mind elaborating on the other turns' YJH's relationship with SP and 3rd/1864th turn YJH? I genuinely enjoyed the other posts and wouldn't mind seeing more. ❤️
anon I will NEVER mind elaborating & I thank you for enabling my madness. I love talking about them sm <3
I guess I'll start off with 41&SP since I've been thinking about them and you didn't specify which one I should talk about. and. there's literally 1864 (?) different Yoo Joonghyuks. that's 1,736,316 combinations of pairings I could talk about. I'm never running out of content as long as I'm alive (well I'm not crazy enough to have headcanons for all of their relationships. yet. link to my YJH relationship chart).
this post has PARTS thats how long it got. under read more it goes
41's personality
oh 41, you miserable, miserable man. during the 41st regression, Yoo Joonghyuk had decided to harden his heart into cold, brutal practicality. he would use any means necessary to achieve his purpose, even if he had to sacrifice his companions. (he never called them that during this round, so it would hurt less when they died (didn't work)). he tried very hard to make himself an emotionless machine (see: him carelessly saying he doesn't give a shit, beyond losing tools he could use, when lee hyungsung and lee jihye die).
We get most of this characterization from the Disaster of Floods, 41st Shin Yoosung, who had a deeply messed up relationship with him that's its own post. she was the only one by his side till the very end and had to witness his cruelty, which traumatized her. and then he sent her to the past, abondened her in the labyrinth of the worlds- his ultimate unforgivable act. (quote 'The things done by the 41st round Yoo Joonghyuk were worse than murder.')
but as much as he tried, he couldn't become that heartless monster he showed to the world. (see: him promising Shin Yoosung they would go on a trip together after the scenarios were over. even at his worst, he couldn't help but try to comfort her.)
SP's thoughts on 41
41 and SP spend multiple scenes hanging out one-on-one so we have a lot to go off regarding their relationship. 41 is Secretive Plotter's second-in-command, the one who is closest to him and who spends the most time with him. For SP, this is because he finds 41 the most quote 'similar to himself' (in their ends justify the means, no matter how cruel approach) and thinks he's most likely to understand SP's actions. also since 41 is similar to him, and SP is the peak strongest smartest YJH, 41's opinion is automatically also worth more, right? girlmath (sp is arrogant).
SP relies on 41 as a trusted advisor and subordinate, let's him in on plans and asks for his opinion/advice sometimes, even if he doesn't necessarily take it. gives him commands and resposibilities and expects them to be done competently. even let's him see his vulnerable moments (do we remember the scene where SP woke up from a nightmare and 41 was there. that was to me what lemon candy moment is to doksoo fans).
SP cares for and is fond of and feels mildly possesive/protective over 41, but only the same amount as all the other regressions, nothing special about 41 in particular. SP think's every version of YJH belongs to him (see: n'gai forest's whole existence. see: 'return to me, [999]' see: 'return to me, the place you're supposed to be is here!' talking to 1863. see: 'That guy from the 1863rd should've been a part of me originally. Just like all of you.'). but he takes it for granted when that is true, because we only pine after what we don't have. like 3rd. (and 999.)
41's thoughts on SP
it's clear to me that 41 idolizes SP very much (in a 'he's me if I succeeded' way). when SP calls them similar and 41 says 'what an honor that is' he's not being sarcastic. he sees it as an honor that SP trusts him and thinks it would be better if he only trusted him, and not unreliable people like 999 (quote: [41] spoke with a voice containing a faint trace of rage. "It was a mistake to send him. Send me, instead. [999] is too soft.") and kdj (quote: "It's all because of that fool, Kim Dokja.") (this is partly jealousy. 'SP doesnt need anyone else when he has me' type of vibe.)
he takes his role as advisor very seriously. sees it as his job to point out the things SP doesn't catch or notice, question him, etc. sometimes feels frustrated when SP refuses to see reason (especially regarding 999)
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still he is too loyal to ever disobey and the final decisions are always Plotter's. 41 is only subservient to him. ('lowered his head slowly' in acquiescence and submission. 'if thats what you want' im insane)
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41 is very protective of SP. sees himself as a loyal knight, the only one capable of protecting his king. (probably literally calls SP 'my king' in his head...) very quick to jump to SP's defence at any point, absolutely hates people who disrespect him or betray him or dare to speak to him... sometimes goes too far and SP has to reprimand him/ make him back off.
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this is after kdj provokes SP. see how 41 immedietly jumps to defend him? and how SP calls 41 off with a single word, literally like a guard dog? SP dismisses his concerns regarding 999 in a similar way.
41 also, and I cannot stress this enough, constantly looks at SP with yearning goey eyes. half the scenes hes in he's just...staring. with love. at SP.
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41 too, is cringe and in love with someone who doesn't pay him any special attention. this is a yoo joonghyuk's natural state
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Just some random thoughts I’d like to mention:
ADHD chaotic word vomit commencing in:
3……2…….1……. 💥
1. Fandoms can be extremely toxic. Like SCARY TOXIC! 🥴
2. PR Tours aren’t geared towards the established fans. PR tours are to engage new viewers. PR tours are created to sell the story being told. If you’ve got a romance show that’s trying to sell a story of “friends to lover’s” the PR tour will lean into the natural chemistry between the leads, they’ll create an atmosphere to enhance the chemistry, and they’ll use whatever techniques necessary in order to sell the story.. to bring in new audiences.
3. We all fell for the #Polin PR tour. Nicola and Luke have unsettling chemistry & Shondaland knew this as well. They also knew how much they could play off of their chemistry and bring in a large viewership. 2.3 billion minutes watched the first week alone? The PR tour paid off really well for them. I can’t even be mad at them at this point. You can’t say it wasn’t smart financially.. even if it was quite shitty to play with the hearts of Polin fans.
4. Luke and Antonia didn’t deserve the hate that was and continues to be thrown at them. They’ve been linked together for over a year now. He never hid her existence. The fandom chose to ignore her existence. That’s on the fans.. not Luke.
5. This one is going to piss a lot of folks off. Sorry not sorry. Luke Newton doesn’t owe the fandom anything. The “he has yet to claim her” comments are ridiculous. This man has been seen with her on multiple occasions, he has travelled with her, he’s been papped multiple times with her, he brought her to both Bridgerton premieres. That is claiming her. He doesn’t have to post her on his professional instagram just to appease his fans. He owes you nothing regarding his private life. Stop with the entitlement. It’s icky.
6. It’s never okay to bully anyone. Ever. The bullying against Antonia and now Jake Dunn is GROSS! It’s even more gross watching grown ass women bully a 23 year old young lady. It’s giving “I’m jealous” vibes. Do I like the way Antonia has acted towards the fans? No. She’s been a petty Betty at times.. however.. I can’t say I wouldn’t have been myself. That young woman has watched thousands of people publicly ship her man with his costar. She’s been bullied non stop & ridiculed for her body, her looks, her work, everything. I’d be acting a bit petty too if I were in her shoes. Grace is free & showing grace isn’t hard. She is human like the rest of us.
7. Now let’s talk about Nicola Coughlan and Jake Dunn. The absolute bullshit hate comments being left on Jake’s instagram are absolutely ridiculous. This man has done NOTHING WRONG except for crush any insane delulu you have in your mind. If you have something negative to say about this man? Do it in your private spaces & don’t take it to this man’s social media. Do you truly think Nicola will have any sort of respect for you by saying such hateful and nasty things to someone she clearly cares deeply for? Newsflash! She won’t. She’ll probably dislike you greatly for such vile behavior. Grow up. It’s legit that simple.
8. Like with Luke, Nicola owes you nothing regarding her personal life. Who she dates, spends her time with, chooses to love is no one’s concern but her own. She deserves to be able to live her life with who she wants and how she wants without fans acting the fool.
9. We don’t speculate on people’s sexuality. That’s gross behavior. That’s extremely disrespectful and invasive. Touch grass. Oh and did you know that you can tell your friends you love them without being gay? Shocking, right? Who knew? 😉
10. Stop. Full Stop. With stating your personal delulu opinions as facts. The biggest reason why this fandom is so toxic and drunk on delulu is because so many larger creators have planted false information in their minds as facts.. now they can’t see past the delulu & anything that goes against what they’ve convinced themselves of in their minds is false.. regardless of the receipts that are dangling in their faces. Please stop. It’s time to come back to reality.
11. Bullying one another for different opinions is TOXIC AF! There is no reason for people to be bullied off their own platforms because you don’t agree with their views. Take that toxic behavior right on out of here.
12. Colin Bridgerton is the BEST of the Bridgerton men.. apart from Edmund Bridgerton of course. You can’t convince me otherwise.
13. The best Bridgerton characters are as follows in this specific order:
Penelope Bridgerton
Lady Agatha Danbury
Queen Charlotte
I can’t be convinced otherwise. I stand by these choices.
14. Daniel Radcliffe will always be Harry Potter. I don’t care who they cast to play him in the new HBO Max series. Daniel is Harry. Point. Blank. Period.
15. Draco Malfoy deserved better.
16. Cats are the superior pet.
17. Shrimp is GROSS. You can’t change my mind.
18. I could have fixed Anakin Skywalker. 😅
19. Heck I could have fixed Kylo Ren too.
20. Pumpkin spice is trash. Apple cider is where it’s at. Fight me. 🍏🍎
Chaotic enough for you? I know it was for me. I’ve been wanting to get some of those thoughts out of my head. What better way to do that than here? Welcome to the asylum y’all. Enjoy the chaos! ✌🏻
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midnighthwng · 4 months
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look up // 2min
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soulmates will always find their way back to each other. no matter what.
₊˚.⋆ pairing: lee know + seungmin
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ genre: angst + comfort
₊˚.⋆ warning/s: major character death (i promise i make up for it)
.𖥔 ݁ ˖ word count: 3.1k
₊˚.⋆ ao3 link
──────────
it’s late. 
minho and seungmin are driving down some wet road after a little vacation to minho’s hometown, a celebration of sorts, because minho’s graduating next year and seungmin is... well, still in his second year. but it was an academic year that they both worked hard on. that, in seungmin’s book, was something worth taking a vacation for. 
“i think that’s dumb,” minho playfully snaps. of course, he can’t ever truly be mad at the sweet and dandy man in the passenger seat, who he considers himself lucky to regard as his boyfriend.
seungmin is giggling as he says, “anything i say is dumb to you, but you’re actually thinking i’m right.” 
minho shakes his head for the nth time in the conversation, probably a bit too much for someone holding the wheel. “why would i agree that i’d be a shark in my next life? i’m obviously gonna be a cat.”
“just because you like cats now, doesn’t mean you’ll be them when you’re reborn,” seungmin tutted. neither of them really remember how the conversation started, but when you’ve been on the road for more than an hour, anything can serve an interesting topic. especially for these two.
“i think sharks are pretty cool, but the only thing i have in common with them is that we don’t like humans.”
seungmin gasps in faux offense, twisting his torso to face the older. “you don’t like me, honey?”
“you’re less of a bother than all the others out there,” he rolls his eyes.
“you don’t like hyunjin? or jisung? or chan-hyung?” seungmin prods. his face was getting closer and minho could consider it a driving hazard, because god knows he’s trying his best to repress the urge to kiss him on his stupid, pretty face.
he can’t stop the smile from spreading because of the question though, but he holds in his laugh. “now you’re just guilt-tripping me.”
seungmin giggles his way back to sitting properly, the tight seatbelt causing a bit of a strain to his neck because of his antics. 
“kidding, as always. well, how about me? what would i be in my next life?” ah, so that’s how the debate began.
minho scoffs. “dog. easily.”
“what breed?”
“do you have to be so thorough?” he’s laughing now, both at the ridiculous topic and how adorable seungmin is acting. “golden retriever.”
“you’re so basic!” seungmin is laughing, too, though there wasn’t really anything funny about it. there was something in the air that causes them to act like fools in love everytime they’re together. at this point, it’s probably not an act anymore, really. “i’m totally gonna bite you if i see you in my canine form.”
“goldens don’t bite,” minho quips. 
they probably can, he thinks in his head, but they both throw whatever at each other if it means winning the argument. with love, of course. they haven’t had a serious fight in years, save for the first few times they met. 
how was seungmin supposed to know that minho was looking him up and down because he had never seen someone so adorable but so hot at the same time, and not because he wanted to coax him into a fist fight? that night ended with multiple bruises, but the month ended in tears of laughter when minho finally gained the balls to tell seungmin how he really felt that night and how he felt about him in general. truly a textbook love story.
“well, i will!” seungmin punches the other’s arm lightly. probably not safe for a slippery road, but no harm was done. 
minho rolls his eyes, “whatever. and stop talking like you’ll get reincarnated before me. we’re going together.”
“bit dark, hyung,” the younger comments but still a bit giggly. “and you know that’s not what i meant.”
minho starts sniffling and faking sobs, wiping away non-existent tears. “i’ll be lonely without you, honey.”
“stop!” seungmin busts out laughing again. “and keep your eyes on the road and hands on the wheel, it’s slippery out here.”
minho wishes he had listened. 
the next thing he knew, they’re surrounded by blinding white, and monitors are beeping around them, and he thinks he hears hushed voices here and there. he wasn’t sure what was real and what was only imagined by him. he’s sure, however, of the painfully crimson hand he was clutching, cold and unconscious.
“i’m so stupid, fuck... please...” he pleads to seungmin. tears and blood and snot getting everywhere, but why would that ever matter when his lover was getting weaker and weaker right in front of him? “i’m so sorry, please stay with me... say something!”
his eyes widen at his own tone. “no, no, i didn’t mean to yell... just please...” he feels a pinch of movement under his tight grip and the world spins a little slower.
“h-hyung...” seungmin tries, but coughs blood on minho’s cheek with how close he is. 
“minnie?” 
“hyung.”
“i’m here, baby. talk to me, go on.” minho becomes decreasingly aware at how desperate he sounds. everything in his world has shrunk to only them. only seungmin and minho.
and the pristine sheets stained with red that came from whatever wounds they’ve both sustained from the crash. and the god awful beeping machine next to them. which he doesn’t realize was picking up speed. “-back t’ you.”
“what?” minho clutches the younger’s hand tighter, too tight for a weakened body, but neither of them mention it. “you can do it.”
“i’ll... i’ll come back. to you,” seungmin finally breathes out. no one’s counting how many minutes it took. “promise... wait for me.”
minho’s breathing is chopped up and unstable and he should probably be in another hospital bed getting his own condition checked, but nothing matters to him but seungmin, not even his own health. “stop. stop that. you’re not leaving me, don’t leave me.” 
“i can’t.”
“you can. be strong for me, please.” his eyesight is starting to wither because of how much he’s cried in the past ten minutes, maybe thirty. 
“no i,” seungmin is trying to wheeze now, if not for his punctured lungs that make it all the more difficult. “i can’t breathe, hyung.”
minho adjusts himself so they’re even more in each other’s faces. “do it with me. come on.” the heart monitor is getting rapid now, and the sound finally registers in minho’s ears and in his brain. “inhale, exhale, inhale, seungmin!” 
a single tear makes its way down seungmin’s cheek. “i love you.” 
“i lov- no, seungmin, please. please!”
... 
arms grab minho by the shoulders and he’s sure he knocked someone’s teeth out until his vision completely goes dark.
-
minho stares at the clock. he’s been waiting for something, but he has already forgotten. it’ll probably come to remind him of itself later.
then the calendar right below it. plus one to the year since he’s been on autopilot. exactly, too , he realizes, as he fixates on the bold letters that spell out the fifth month of the year. 
he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket before he hears the ringtone, set to an audio he had labelled ‘important, pick up’ . robotically, he ‘accepts’ and brings the speaker to his ear. “what?”
“i’ll be there to pick up the stuff soon,” the voice speaks. it belongs to him and seungmin’s best friend, or one of them, hyunjin.
“sure.” he zones out on a piece of plastic that landed on the foot of his coffee table. their coffee table. how does he describe the things in his own home anymore? was it even a home at all, when the thing he called home was personified by the tall and handsome brunette, and had perished in his arms?
“hyung.” hyunjin sounds urgent to an outside ear, but minho can hear the pity laced in a single word.
“hm.”
“is everything ready, i said?”
“yeah. yeah.”
he’s not sure if a whole minute passes before hyunjin asks the dreaded “how are you doing?” question. at least it wasn’t “are you okay?” this time.
“next question,” he says blandly instead.
“hyung...”
“stop. i’m fine.” he isn’t. they both know it. but who can blame them for trying to avoid the reality?
“...okay.” there’s a knock at the door. minho doesn’t immediately realize it’s hyunjin. “open the door.”
he hauls himself to the door and opens it to hyunjin, who wears a blank face. but minho can see it in his glossy eyes, what he wants to say. “i’m sorry.”
instead, hyunjin’s mouth opens with “let’s get these downstairs.” ‘these’ pertaining to the half dozen boxes of seungmin’s stuff that took a lot of time, sweat, and tears from minho to pack up. 
it’s sunny when they step out from the apartment. minho wishes he could say he hadn’t been outside in months, but life required him to drag his body to get necessities every once in a while. 
he’s not sure what’s been pushing him to keep going. maybe he hopes seungmin is proud of him for doing so. maybe he hopes seungmin will keep his promise. 
no one can fault minho for believing it. seungmin had always been a man of his word.
he’s only brought out of his thoughts because hyunjin halted right in front of him, almost dropping his stack of boxes. “hey, puppy, puppy!”
minho looks over hyunjin’s slouched figure to see a dog. quite big, but he guesses golden retrievers grow fast. 
must be at least a year old, he muses. the dog knocks minho out of his observation when it jumps onto him, promptly fully knocking over his boxes. “what’s the deal?”
he can tell hyunjin’s holding his laughter when he helps him pick up the stuff that spilled out from one of the containers. the tape must have gotten loose.
they’re almost done when gold shines in minho’s peripheral. he picks up a necklace; simple, flat heart with a small “M” engraved on the center. 
he doesn’t realize he’s tearing up until hyunjin speaks, “hey, you okay?”
“no- yes.” liar. “yeah. this... i gave it to him. for our anniversary.”
hyunjin raises his brows, the way he does when he encounters something shocking or obvious. “keep it. why is it even in one of these?”
“i don’t know...” minho sighs. he doesn’t know what he would have done if he realized too late that he threw this away. “i just packed without paying attention, i guess.”
“you should have called us for help. you always can, alright?” the younger finishes up with the one box and sets a hand on minho’s shoulder. “even if it’s been a whole year since you talked to us...”
minho can’t look anywhere near hyunjin in shame. “i know. and i’m sorry about that.”
“hey, no worries,” he tries chasing minho’s line of sight, offering a small smile. “i know it’s been hard. we loved him, too.”
minho swallows a lump in his throat. how long had that been building up? “yeah. thanks.”
the dog, who minho already forgot about in their exchange, approaches them, specifically the hand that minho still clutched the gold necklace in. it sniffs up and down on it, then suddenly snatches it and runs off.
“hey!” minho shouts, running after it. hyunjin has half a mind to be sensitive and not pull out his phone to film this. he thinks it would have been funny any other day, though.
the two run around the block until the dog, annoyingly, settles right in front of the apartment’s entrance. minho heaves and pulls the jewelry back out from the dog’s mouth. he doesn’t mind the slobber getting all over him for some reason. he even pockets the necklace.
“don’t take things that aren’t yours,” he scolds. he comes back to hyunjin actually giggling his ass off now and pulls him up by the collar to finally put the rest of the boxes into the car.
“thank you, hyunjin,” he whispers. sincerely so, as if thanking him for something else other than helping him pack up. and maybe he was.
hyunjin smiles a little brighter than earlier. “always, hyung. i’m also just a phone call away if you need someone to talk to. me and the others.” 
minho nods. “i’ll remember.”
they go in for a hug, hyunjin tightening his hold a little more. when they let go, it’s like a light bulb flickers on top of the younger’s head. “it’s changbin-hyung’s birthday soon! come see usss.”
“i’ll try.” and that’s all hyunjin needed to hear before he beams at him and finally drives off.
minho hears a whimper beside him and realizes-
“you’re still here?” he asks the dog, as if it’ll respond. but honestly, it might as well have understood him, because it whimpers again and marches toward the entrance of the building.
“who are your owners...? whatever, come on, get inside.”
minho wouldn’t do it normally, letting random dogs (or a dog in general) inside his house, but there was something about this one that he couldn’t resist. call him crazy, but the dog appears to be smiling when it looks up at him, and it’s ruining his heart. when they enter the apartment, it even waits for minho to enter before it shuffles its big paws inside, too. 
“it’s not much,” he’s still talking to it, “not anymore.”
minho watches as the dog prances around the living room. there’s a table near the tv, low enough that it could sniff the few picture frames displayed on it. to minho’s confusion, it whimpers at the pictures.
“what’s wrong? you don’t like them?” his brows furrow into each other as he picks one up. “i think we look alright here.” 
in the frame, the wind was a little too strong to the point of knocking seungmin’s hat into the air, making for a perfect candid shot of the two of them chasing it. they knew it was a good decision to tag hyunjin along that picnic date.
the dog nudges another one of the frames until it falls, concerning minho even more. it was one of seungmin’s, a shot of him facing the sun setting while they were on a bridge somewhere. he definitely did not force minho to take that fake candid shot. 
minho crouches to pick it up and replace both frames onto the desk. the dog noses at his pocket and whimpers again. “jeez. i may not know much about dogs, but do you guys really cry this much...?”
he thinks for a moment before dialing on his phone and waiting probably half a second before hyunjin picks up. “hey, you know that dog earlier?”
“uh, yeah, what about it?”
“he keeps following me around and crying at our stuff,” he comments. the dog is just looking at the pictures again. 
“you let it in your house?”
“well, i wasn’t gonna leave it out in the heat...”
“...sure, hyung. what breed was it again?”
“it’s a golden.” minho was about to ask why it could have possibly mattered, when it clicks. “golden retriever. i gotta call you back.”
“hyung-” and all hyunjin hears is the line dropping.
minho starts petting the dog, to its joy. “you recognize this guy?” it whimpers again before it starts looking around the house. “you have some really odd qualities...”
it leaves minho’s hold and starts trotting toward their shared bedroom. it looks untouched, bedsheets laying undisturbed, but a layer of dust collecting over that. dust covering everything, really. he’d started sleeping on the couch, the fear of his own memories of him and seungmin in that bedroom and on that bed being too much to bear to be able to sleep in there again.
“you won’t find any treats here, if that’s what you want,” he follows anyways. the dog stops in front a packed box. “shit, we must have missed this one,” he sighs.
the dog paws at it, like it was saying “open it” or something crazy in minho’s head. so, he does.
inside, they find a polaroid camera, and a bunch of photos scattered under it. guess i left this here on purpose. he and the dog sit down next to the box as he shuffles through the photos. well, more like showcases them to his new friend.
“this was from our trip to jeju. we were with our best friends.” he chuckles and points to a part in the photo, “you can kind of see them in the back here.”
shifting to another film, “a picnic near han river. he said he loved this place the most, ‘cause the sky is always so pretty when you look up.” 
a tear is trekking down his face now, multiple following after. the dog whimpers at the sight. “i miss him. he’s probably happy in the sky, since he loves it so much.”
the dog is pawing at him, quite rough with how big its paws are and how textured probably from walking around on the street. where did this thing come from, again?
“what?” minho asks it, then suddenly, it’s jumping on him and licking all over his face. minho can’t bring himself to be disgusted over it, but he’s still confused as fuck. “hey buddy, we just met.”
that seems to trigger something in the dog’s mind, because now it’s sitting and whimpering and probably on the verge of barking at minho. “we just met, like an hour ago. I’m not your owner, you don’t know me-”
and it’s barking, really loudly. right in his face. “now you’re just being mean, puppy,” he chuckles. the dog makes a sound akin to a human huff and looks around again. 
it knocks the box over, spilling the photos out, and minho watches in amusement as it seems to be looking for something specific. it gently grabs one into its mouth and nudges it into minho’s hand.
a picture from when they went on vacation to gimpo. that same day... “why did you give me this?”
it’s like it's losing patience when the dog steps onto the pocket where the necklace still is. minho takes it out, and the dog whimpers at it again.
his tears are still flowing when he starts laughing. “i’m gonna get called insane.” the dog’s head tilts.
“...seungminnie?”
rapidly, the dog’s tail is wagging and he jumps back onto minho to knock them both flat on the floor, licking and barking (happily, of course) in his face. 
“what the hell,” he exclaims, still laughing at how ridiculous this all seems to be. “your next life.”
the dog stops his movements and just lays on minho. he really looks like he’s smiling at me. he almost can’t breathe under the dog’s weight and because of the snot building up in his nose, but he can’t bring himself to care. 
“surely took you long enough,” he breathes. the dog smacks him in the face with that big paw of his, and minho’s crying even harder because that’s exactly what he would expect seungmin to do.
“kidding, as always. hm...” he trails, scratching softly behind the dog’s ears. 
“i’ll call you sky.”
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☾₊‧˙⋆˚。⁺⋆
i hope i actually made up for the mcd aha i don't usually write angst (i've never even written it without the fluff to counter it) but i really like how this one turned out.
it was originally written for a scriptwriting class i had, so if it had a little too much dialogue, that's why (i tried my best converting it into para forms o7)
thanks for reading :D thinking of putting my other fics on tumblr too but if u'd like to read them while they aren't here yet, they're on my ao3 already :)
⋆⁺。˚⋆˙‧₊☽
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Note
In celebration of the most annoying dsvc plot line finally being resolved, here’s my takes as a random new anon on how they could’ve possibly been rewritten. Note not all of the rewrites have to apply it’s more of just spitballing ideas
1. If you want to go down the Tom ghosts Jake for 2 years arc, I think it could’ve been interesting to see it be something that progresses. Like Jake mentions how Tom contacted him and they talked but over time he just stopped replying less and less. Then it turns into a thing where Tom is still scared of being hurt. Whereas before it was a part of the adrenaline/excitement of “oh hey we met on this reality show” or something along the lines of that. Maybe Tom rewatched the show and just hated how he acted during it and how something that he was so traumatized over ended up being broadcasted sorta thing
2. For Jake to still be hung over Tom after 2 years is a bit much to me. I think it could’ve been interesting to see him talk about trying out dating apps at one point after everything with Tom imploded. Then for it to just be a complete failure each time. Then his feelings for Tom are more so on the side of reminiscing on something that was once good
3. Have them start off as trying to be friends again since it has been so long. Don’t immediately jump into something where it’s clear that romance is the intention of one of them. Like have it be a thing where it’s like an awkward seeing an old friend and the two are just trying to get back into the groove of things but it’s awkward. Then you see in confessionals mini things like Jake being like “it’s nice to talk to him again. I never really realized how much I missed it.” Whereas for Tom it could be something like “Oh god. I can’t let myself fall for him again. This is too much.”
4. If miscommunication is a mandatory plot point for whatever reason, handle it well. Tom doesn’t lie about a boyfriend and avoid it at all costs. Have the thing that Jake is misunderstanding not be a minimal interaction between Tom and Aiden. Like, if Aiden is needed let’s not have Jake accuse a taken guy of cheating on the second episode where both Tom and Aiden just met. Regarding possible fixes; have Tom and Jake have completely different views on what they are, which cause some layer of miscommunication. Or even in general without any major fixes don’t have the miscommunication plot line last multiple episodes all starting off in the beginning half of the episodes. There’s a way to build it up without said plot line being shoved down somebody’s throat
5. Give reasons to love TomJake. All of their interactions this season is linked to some sort of negative and it’s comes off as being desperate and holding onto the past. They could’ve still had Tom and Jake have cute awkward moments with Tom still being scared. Not everything had to be romance rooted or plain avoidance. It could be the small things. Tom giving Jake something extra he hunted. Jake being worried for Tom and vice versa if one were to be close to being eliminated. Or simply sometimes just crashing into each other at night whilst on a nightly stroll and having an awkward yet needed conversation, where it can be obvious that Tom is holding something back
6. Rather than having conversation after conversation of way to show build up, have it be something that is subtle. Whether it be through actions or expressions or even a throwaway line somebody says and one of them just reacts to it. That’s a way to have the dsvc episode not be TomJake heavy in the beginning. Then once it hits the boiling point Tom or Jake (most likely Jake because it’s Jake) just breaks. He breaks down and just starts breaking down whether it be to Ashley or Tom. Even if it’s something as small as “I’ve tried so hard for this to work, and nothing I do ever seems to be enough.”
7. A mini side note but have Jake be more grounded as a character. Basically actually make him more likable. See him try so much harder with Tom to just talk, and show that he has changed, and when Tom just tells him to stop he does. You can even have him outperform and show a reason for him to be voted out beyond being annoying. In challenges I mainly remember him for something TomJake related and I think it’d be interesting if he was some sort of threat. You can make him more likable by having him build a bond with other characters. Let’s not have him be stuck to hating Ally, hating Aiden, and loving Ashley. You can literally give him so much more character interactions wise.
8. In conclusion, don’t have the plot line appear in every single episode especially in the beginning where the challenge just ends up shoved to the side.
- Claude
1. yes!!! i think it was so unrealistic how tom said nothing to him at all when they ended on such a positive, hopeful note in S1. its also why i think toms words at his elimination were just an empty promise. its literally the same thing he said two years prior - why should jake trust him? so yeah deffo make them talk more at first.
2. yes again, omg i hated how two years later everyone was still hung up on things. jake still pining for tom, ashley still salty about fiore (ma’am you’re 24 arguing with someone a third of your age), jake mad at ellie, omfggg grow a pair. ITS BEEN TWO YEARS. still being a bit mad is reasonable but get over it. GROWN ASS ADULTS
3. YES!!!
4. YES??!!?!!!?!!
5. YESSS!!!! this ties into another take on here, that ONC just focuses on negative interactions - and that doesn’t make the ship compelling to me!! give me something to work with!! in S1, you had the boat interaction when jake said tom’s eyes are pretty. you had the maze challenge when jake and tom had a heartfelt talk and THAT CHORD THAT STRUNG when they touched hands!!! MY HEART!!!! the aftermath of jake’s phone call! their instant connection with each other!! THE KISS!!! THE ZOMBIE CHALLENGE!!!!!!! i just wish we got cute moments like those in DCAS too so i would actually root for them <//3
6. SUBTLE BUILD-UP MY FAV it’s almost like subtlety makes a story more compelling rather than vomiting exposition.. (cough cough ONC, hazbin hotel, yansim etc.)
7. characters with multiple layers my beloved.. i think jake could’ve easily been one of my favs if he wasn’t so one-dimensional. he’s just a tom-obsessed crybaby, rather than a complex, traumatized individual. and it’s so bad that they gave us a glimpse of his complexity in S1 then threw it aside for cheap drama. i miss S1 <//3
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tavina-writes · 3 months
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What about his novels? Is there a way to read those in english? I heard there's multiple versions of the same novels for some reason if I could I would at least love to read them
Hi Nonny!
So! I know that a number of his novels have official English translations, and though I find some of it mildly dubious (some of these are pretty old translations so they retain some of the uh, old timey vibe of Chinese to English translations that I can only best describe as "antiquated") -- iirc these would be Legend of the Condor Heroes, The Book and the Sword, Sword Stained With Royal Blood, and Duke of Mount Deer -- I would say to check those out first.
I think @inappropriatewenning has read/has been reading the official LOCH translation so they might be a good person to ask on how they liked it!
As for why there are multiple versions, this is an easier answer: originally all of Jin Yong's works were released serialized in either Ming Pao, or Hong Kong Commercial Daily (and some other newspapers at the time). These serialized versions were commonly known as "First Edition/Old Edition/Serialized Edition" versions of the novels.
Then after publication of most of his works, between 1970-1980 Jin Yong revised the First Editions of the novels to achieve better flow, and some events were changed, creating the "New Edition/Second Edition" of the novels.
Then from 1999-2006, Jin Yong revised each of the novels again, creating the "Third Edition/New Millennium Edition" which responded to criticism regarding historical accuracy and other minor timeline inconsistencies, adjusted storylines for characters, changed the names of certain techniques, etc.
I would say that the Second Edition remains the most popular and enduring "version" of the stories, and if you talk with older Jin Yong fans they're likely to agree with this idea. Most of the adaptations that exist in the world today are based on the Second Edition of the novels as well.
(I also have....links to underground fantranslation versions of the novels if you'd enjoy that, though the grammatical qualities are a bit rough for a lot of those. It used to be that on the old wuxia forums in its heyday we had translations of his novels in other languages besides Chinese and English as well, but forum life in fandom has really died out and I don't know if there's still online repositories for such work that was put in...it might be better to seek out older wuxia fandom spaces in those languages to see if there's any hope of recovering them. iirc Thai translations and Korean translations are also very popular.)
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desultory-novice · 1 year
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What are a few theories you have to say in regards to the Mirror World?
[Edit: Wow, this ask was well timed! Happy KatAM release!]
M-Mirror World... :shivers:  ... I mean, n-no! Why would I be scared talk about the mirror world?! That's r-ridiculous! :knows that everyone else already has much better mirror HC than me:
Err, in truth though, I do get a little nervous when asked about the mirror world because I really never paid that much attention to it at the time?! It just seemed like a cutesy gimmick for a game and I guess I didn't see the massive potential many other fans saw in it.
When it showed up again in TDX, I was like "Ohhhh! ...Huh." and when DMK returned for Star Allies, I was like "...I guess we're sticking with this now?!" (Speaking of, I was really ambivalent on DMK at the time but have since adopted the edgy boy as one of my blorbos mostly because everyone else seems to kind of hate him/have nothing interesting for him except to have him swear even more than MK -purportedly does? And well, Dess loves an underdog!)
Anyway, I've said it once and I'll say it again (and again and again until I finally finish drawing "Through a Mirror Darkly", the prequel to "Unspoken") I think Dark Meta Knight was a double agent...!
I think he was "working" for Dark Mind only to the degree necessary to overthrow him. Why else would he split Kirby into four equally powerful selves when Necrodeus proved it was indeed possible to simply weaken the powerful, pink, and puffy?! Because come on, he's Meta Knight's shadow given form! Why does that instantly mean he has to be significantly dumber than Meta Knight?! Why can't he be as clever and farsighted as the champion fighter?
Remember how Meta is very subtly implied to have trained Kirby to face off against Nightmare during Adventure? I hold that DMK was doing the same thing, having given up on training his verse's own Kirby. DMK being a secret dark hero would certainly make sense as to why Kirby handily invites him to join the hero party in Star Allies!
(As for why he attacks Dedede out of nowhere, well, I believe he probably has... complex feelings regarding his own Dedede(1))
Err, sorry, I know this wasn't specifically about DMK... Let's talk about the Mirror World in general! It's very... hmm. It's very...unknown?
Trying to piece together (haha...) the mirror world based on the information we have now feels like trying to count sands of grain in a jar from a distance. Or trying to correctly guess the Ancient's backstory as revealed in Star Allies using only what we know in RtDL.
I think, by the time Kumazaki and the team are ready to return to it, we're going to be pretty shocked by what we find out! But as long as we're not interested in correctly guessing something (...that HAL themselves probably don't know EVERYTHING about) but simply want to bandy ideas back and forth about what we know... 
I myself am most interested in a) it's timeline b) the logic behind Mirror World residents c) how/if does it stand on it's own?
If the Dimension Mirror is an Ancient Artifact, and it has all the signs of one, so I don't see any reason it shouldn't be (I even speculated once the mirror's wings could be based on Elfy) then it is OLD. Pre-fall of Halcandra old. In which case, the Mirror Dimension should be at least that old, right? But what even IS "the mirror dimension?"
Because Amaz(e)ing Mirror showed us a series of multiple interconnected worlds, linked by much smaller mirrors. And let's think about the name for a second: "The Dimension Mirror." Why would the Ancients create something that just makes ONE dimension? And the dimension in question is one where everything kinda sucks??? That... doesn't make any logical sense.
I think the original purpose behind the creation of the Dimension Mirror was to, quite simply, make a portal. The Mirror could have been the predecessor to the Lor Starcutter even! A kind of "stargate." Using it, you can see into MULTIPLE different dimensions, and potentially travel to the ones you wish to using smaller gate like mirrors scattered all over the place. (2)
But, like everything they built, the Dimension Mirror was a two-edged sword. And there came si~de effe~cts! We generally know that the Mirror Residents are like "worse" version of the people we've seen so far. So just imagine that everyone who traveled through the Dimension Mirror to get to some other dimension... left a copy of themselves behind? Similar to one of the more grisly theories on how matter transportation might be possible: that the best you could do would be to perfectly clone/replicate someone in a different position, all their memories intact, while quietly destroying the original as they :cough: teleport. BAM! "You" have now been transported!
With that in mind, the more it is used, the more copies are created, and thus... the birth of the Mirror World? It's certainly possible!
Why are they "evil" though? Well... that could be the "side effect" of wicked power developed off of the suffering of baby chinchillas or it could be that they aren't really all that "evil" to begin with.
Again, I argue that Dark Meta Knight is not really evil Meta Knight at all. (You can write the "corruption theory" for the purposes of fanfic or fan ideas or whatever but I WILL tear my hair out if you try to convince me/you believe it 100% based on evidence in game.) I think Dark Meta Knight is simply Meta Knight unleashed.
Shadow Kirby was considered worthy of being the "hero" of the Mirror Dimension. Bloody King Dedede is kind of a jerk but so was regular Dedede in the past. Plus, going by the stomach in the mouth thing, King Bloody seems to still be possessed by Dark Matter so we can't really know what he's like on a good day!
And then there are critters like King Golem, who is almost unmistakably Whispy Woods just built out of bricks and stone.
So, Mirror Residents simply misunderstood? I'd wager so.
But where is it and why does it persist? Those are all good questions that I don't have the answer to. I might have theories down the line... Are there mirror versions of the rest of the Star Allies? I suppose there could be, if any of them hopped through the mirror/got a really close look at it at any point! Do the people created by the Dimension Mirror truly "exist independently" at this point?
I... I don't know. To be honest, I think one really just has to work with the story that is the most interesting to them. Like... going by my theory above, the first Mirror Dream Lander would be DMK, the second would be Shadow Kirby, and the third would be Bloody Dedede, right? Or... is it?
In Dess's Unspoken-verse, Shadow Dedede has been around long before the days of Triple Deluxe and even before Amazing Mirror began. (Although that does make sense, given the Dark Matter thing would place his existence around at least Dream Land 2) So... Did King Dedede see the mirror BEFORE Triple Deluxe or are there Mirror versions of everyone already? Honestly, because the mirror seems positioned in the sky over Popstar, you could say that anyone who's taken a walk on a sunny day has a mirror duplicate out there!
But Magolor implied on Twitter he wouldn't have a mirror duplicate?! Is he just making a joke about his own wickedness/two-facedness? Did HE actually come from the mirror dimension originally or did he already kill (?!) his own mirror counterpart?!
TLDR, I have NO idea. But I think that until HAL comes back with more info N number of years down the line, it's fine to engage in writing whatever mirror HC suit you and continue to come up with fun and interesting mirror versions of the rest of the cast.
Speaking of, I still need to make my Mirror Marx + Magolor...
...
PS: Oh yeah, and are they all MADE of mirrors?! DMK sure seems to be but honestly, what does that even mean for them?! And how was he permanently scarred? Did the piece of mirror that got broken off when Meta Knight attacked him become lost sometime between that and the end of his fight with the Kirbys?!
...Mysteries...
-
(1) The way I ship Meta Knight x Dedede - when I ship it - is entirely under the table. No hugs, no kisses, no confessions, no ceremonies. They don't even admit to "loving" each other in that way. They are just "very important" (tm) to each other. Yadda-yadda-sworn-partners-yadda. But, because I'm me and I enthusiastically love tragedy, I like to imagine that Shadow Dedede and Dark Meta Knight were in love in exactly the way Meta Knight and Dedede weren't.
Keyword "were." Also "tragedy." You can figure out the rest I'm sure. ^_-
(2) So you notice how those portal mirror things kinda sorta vaguely resemble the goal doors? What are the chances that eventually, the Ancients DID figure out portal technology w/o evil twin side-effects and Popstar's goal doors are exactly that?!
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