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whatamessofthoughtswithjess · 11 months ago

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I’d like to talk about my experience with being a part of a fandom. It’s something I’ve never been involved in before. It’s something I’ll never be a part of again going forward. This is all my opinion, my thoughts, and my experience. I’ll remind you that you do not have to agree with what I say but, I do ask for you to be respectful of my space, & keep the hate out of my comment section.

Let’s discuss toxic behavior amongst fandoms, shall we?

I, myself had never been a part of a fandom until recently, therefore I was unaware of parasocial behaviors. I must say that witnessing this sort of behavior has been quite an experience. One in which I could have went my entire life without learning about & I would have been A okay with that. 😅

I’ve always been a fan of Bridgerton. I began watching the show during the COVID lockdown & I immediately fell in love with the series. I was what they in the fandom would describe as a “general audience” watcher. I enjoyed the show immensely but, I wasn’t completely obsessed.

It wasn’t until the season 3 press tour that I became engulfed in the show, the storyline, & by the actors playing the roles of Penelope & Colin. I, amongst thousands of others became completely obsessed. We were completely immersed in the love story that was being sold to us. It became this unhealthy obsession which in turn lead to blurring the lines between fiction and reality.

The Bridgerton fandom, specifically the Lukola/Polin fandom has gone from great fun, excitement, & and a way to escape the hardships of life, to now a toxic atmosphere, full of bullies spreading hate & unrealistic narratives.

I’ve noticed that there are different groups within the fandom. It’s like High School all over again, full of clicks. You’ve got:

1.) Polinators: this group of individuals solely “ships” Penelope Featherington & Colin Bridgerton. Any content made or discussions had are kept within the show & to the characters. Luke Newton & Nicola Coughlan aren’t discussed as they are separate from the characters they play.

2.) Polinators/Lukolas: this group of individuals ship both Penelope & Colin as well as Nicola & Luke. This group will make content for both Polin & Lukola. Most individuals within this group can still separate the characters from the actors. Lines exist but at times become blurred. These individuals are still logical & will accept evidence presented to them. They recognize that storytelling and reality are separate from one other. Typically they can have conversations with others within the fandom without hateful rhetoric or bullying.

3.) LocoLukolas: these individuals have completely morphed Luke & Nicola into Colin & Penelope. They can’t decipher who is who, what is done for PR, or what is reality. The lines aren’t blurred, they are completely erased. These individuals took the PR tour as a real life love story unfolding between Luke & Nicola. They’ve created these elaborate stories and narratives in their minds & fed them to others within their SM platforms. The insane narratives spread like wildfire which in turn creates division within the fandom. Once division is created, bullying & unhinged, creepy behavior begins. There is no arguing with this group. They won’t be told differently from the narrative they’ve created within their minds. They’ll gaslight anyone who tries to go against the narrative they’ve created. They’ll use their platform to push this narrative which in turn creates more individuals thinking the exact same as they do. They can’t be convinced of anything that will go against the narrative they’ve created. These individuals can be very dangerous. Spreading lies and opinion as fact rather than opinion. Gaslighting anyone who doesn’t agree. Don’t waste your time fighting with them. It isn’t worth it.

LukeStans: this group worships Luke Newton. “All hail Luke Newton! He’s our King!” Do not criticize Luke, do not judge his life choices, do not disagree with his decisions, do not speak unkindly about Luke in any sort of way.. or these people will morph into vicious, venomous creatures who will attack you without mercy. Luke does no wrong. He makes no mistakes. He makes no ill choices. He’s perfect. Precious. Needs protected at all costs. These people will also talk all sorts of shit about his girlfriend. Belittle the relationship that him and her have. Encourage cheating with him and Nicola. Disrespect Nicola’s relationship if not with Luke. But.. don’t dare talk bad about Luke. Don’t defend Antonia. Don’t defend Nicola & Jake Dunn.. or be prepared to go to war.

NicolaStans: this group worships NicolaCoughlan. “All hail Nicola Coughlan! She’s our Queen!” Do not criticize Nicola in any sort of manner. Like the LukeStans the NicolaStans will also morph into vicious, venomous creatures that will attack you without mercy. They’ll state they love Nicola but only if she’s pinning after a taken man. They’ll defend Nicola but, only if it’s for reasons that include Luke Newton. They’ll quickly turn on Nicola if you mention her relationship with Jake Dunn. They’ll ask you to respect her privacy all while “manifesting pictures from Brazil” that would show both parties cheating on their significant others. Ope. They’ll turn on her if you even mention the idea that she could be in a serious relationship with a man 13 years younger than her.. insisting that “she would never be so public about her love life” or “she’d never date a man that young.” This group is only fans of Nicola if she abides to the expectations they’ve created for her in their minds.

When I first joined the fandom it was during the press tour. Therefore everyone was riding the high that the PR tour was providing everyone with. New videos were being released every few days. It was fun, exciting, and entertaining for everyone! We were eagerly anticipating the release of season 3. It was happy times, fun times.

Once the press tour ended & part two released the fandom imploded. I’d say exploded but no, it imploded. The fandom is collapsing within itself, quite suddenly, and violently. You’ve got rational fans who understand that Luke & Nic are separate from Colin & Pen and who respect their private lives. You’ve got semi rational fans who understand that they are separate from their characters but still hope they’ll be endgame. You’ve got the LukeStans fighting with the NicolaStans. Then you’ve got the LucoLukolas who are just outright insane. Spreading misinformation and creating elaborate false narratives to keep their already sunken ship afloat. You’ve got recovering Lukolas trying to be some sort of voice of reason.. and it’s all just one big chaotic cluster f**k at this point. The fandom is split. It’s chaos. It’s not fun anymore.

Luke went into hiding because fans are weird AF. He comes back after over a month MIA and the fans are already acting bat shit crazy. Fans were messaging the resort he stayed in, asking who stayed with him, forcing the resort to remove a thank you post to Luke. ABSOLUTE INSANITY! TOXIC BEHAVIOR! The entitlement fans have regarding Luke’s personal life is absolutely disgusting. This man owes the fans nothing. He deserves his privacy. He deserves to spend time with his girlfriend without the bullshit comments on how “he’s yet to claim her” or have his relationship be called a “situationship” only because he’s not made a post on his SM “claiming her” because “he owes the fans that.” Absolutely insane! He owes the fans nothing. If he wants to keep his personal life off his business SM page then we as his fans need to respect that decision. He’s travelled with Antonia multiple times, he’s been papped with her on several occasions, she attends work events with him, vacations with him privately, she’s close with his family and friends, that man HAS CLAIMED HER PUBLICLY. Something as ridiculous as a SM post means nothing when the evidence is already there for all to see. If fans choose to ignore that? That’s on them not on Luke. Stop with the entitlement. It’s weird. He owes you nothing.

Nicola has said over and over again that she is chronically online. She sees the weird shit that’s posted. She sees the lives discussing sunglasses reflections and t shirt creases.. elaborate stories from Brazil that never happened, the belittling of her relationship with Jake Dunn, calling her man gay and claiming he has a boyfriend when this man has NEVER stated his sexuality publicly, she sees this shit. It’s toxic, it’s weird, and it’s sure as hell disrespectful AF especially considering it’s coming from people who claim they are her fans. 🥴 She is posting less & less on social media & I can’t say I blame her. Who wants to have every single thing they post become a 3 hour TikTok live conspiracy theory break down? I sure as hell wouldn’t want that if it were me.

This fandom has got to take a serious step back. If it’s consuming your thoughts, disturbing your mental health, or emotional health then take some time away from SM & spend some time focusing on other things. Read a book, listen to some music, go out with friends or family, spend some time in nature, do whatever you need to do in order to protect yourself from all of the toxicity.

For the love of all things holy.. stop taking the crazy behavior directly to Nicola and Luke & to anyone involved in their lives. We as fans need to remember that these are real life people, with real life lives and loved ones, who like us have feelings and emotions. We need to respect their privacy. They owe us nothing regarding their personal lives. We shouldn’t expect as much. These two gave us such an amazing season. The least we can do is support their choices even if we don’t agree with them. 🫶🏻

Again, these are my opinions & my personal experiences with dealing with people within this fandom. I’ve had my fair share of arguments with people & I’ve been attacked by many who didn’t like the evidence I presented them with that went against their narrative. My experiences are my own. I understand not everyone is toxic in this fandom but, at the same time there are many that are. We as a fandom need to accept what is, let go of what isn’t meant to be, and continue to support Luke & Nicola in all their future endeavors. As their fans, we owe them that much!

Y’all behave yourselves & have a good one! ✌🏻

#bridgerton #nicola coughlan #luke newton #colin x penelope #fandom toxicity #toxic fandom

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