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[tessetc]

Schlocktober: A Fake Event Where Anything Goes

While other people are out here dropping Kinktober prompt lists with 9000 stipulations, I bring you this.

It's not a real October event, but it could be if you believe. The prompts are here for anyone to enjoy anyway.

Why "schlock"?

It means trash/junk, and that's the quality of content I'm striving for with these prompts. It's also fun to say.

But, y'know, if you want to take a prompt and turn it into a masterpiece of a whumpy longfic, go for it.

What fandom is this for?

Whatever fandom you want.

What ships can I write/draw?

Any of them.

Even [my fandom's most despised ship]?

Especially [your fandom's most despised ship].

What if I want to combine prompts? What if I want to write or draw things out of order? What if...

Go for it.

Are crossovers okay?

Do. Whatever. You. Want.

What if I want to create something problematic?

Send me the fucking link.

What does [prompt] mean?

You tell me. It's all open to interpretation.

Are there any rules at all?

Sure.

No AI use. If you need an LLM to write your schlock for you, consider a long walk off a short pier. If you need it to do your editing for you, use a beta reader instead. A stick figure drawn on the back of a napkin is better than soulless AI art.

Tag appropriately. 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings' means anything goes. 'No Archive Warnings Apply' means your work is guaranteed not to contain any of the major archive warnings (non-con, major character death, graphic violence, or underage sex).

No irl bigotry. Your characters can be problematic as all get out, but if you try to post a weird pro-JK Rowling essay or something you're not going in the collection, bud. Don't kill the vibes.

What are the vibes?

Just have fun.

But other people are having fun wrong!

Shut the fuck up.

Are you going to be doing this?

Probably not.

How do I participate?

There's an ao3 collection right here:

Schlocktober on ao3

Otherwise, just hashtag #schlocktober or something, idk. I don't expect anyone to actually do this.

Text version of the prompts under the cut.

Day 1:

Quadruple Fisting

Inappropriate Use of Labubus

Sex-Related Injury

Day 2:

Quesadilla Cocksleeve

Taking Notes During Sex and Grading It

MyPillow Humping

Day 3:

Erotically Burning Hair

Nostril Worship

Fuck or Live

Day 4:

Gap Tooth Kink

Pegging with a Square Peg

Peeling Sunburn

Day 5:

Not Squirting, Not Pee, but a Secret Third Thing

Nipple Sounding

Enemas to Lovers

Day 6:

Defiling a Puritan

Room Temperature Play

Edging on an Edge

Day 7:

Bidets

Too Many Legs

Shallow Throating

Day 8:

Lingerie Made of Crabs

Not Water Sports, but Water Leisure

Masturbation Pollen

Day 9:

Nonconsensual Consent (NCC)

Afterneglect

Last Time

Day 10:

Human Centipeding

Ball Slapping

Fuck or Die Trying

Day 11:

Sex on Meth

Plucking Hair by Hand

Harem on Strike

Day 12:

Second-Hand Creampie

Haggled Use

Age Progression

Day 13:

Cactus Insertion

Antibreeding Kink

Mechanical Bull

Day 14:

Banned on TikTok

Predator/Predator

Prey/Prey

Day 15:

Scissoring with Scissors

Butterplay

Cannon (Artillery) Compliant

Day 16:

Dueling Gloryholes

Inedible Cum

Purple Nurple

Day 17:

Pimple Popping

Lap Riverdance

Pain Without Pleasure

Day 18:

Nonconsensual Soloplay

Weakness Kink

Genital Swap (Not Whole Body)

Day 19:

Chip Clip Nipple Clamps

Spatchcocking

Wound Fucking

Day 20:

Boot Blasphemy

Understimulation

Gamma/Delta/Sigma (G/D/S)

Day 21:

CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Torture)

CBT (Cock and Ball Therapy)

Asparagus

Day 22:

Autocannibalism

Actual Jackhammering

Extrasensory Deprivation

Day 23:

Going in Dry

Aroused by the Smell of Rubber Cement

Sterilization Ritual

Day 24:

Genitals Stuck in Zipper

Ennui Kink

Earwax Wax Play

Day 25:

Actual Handcuffs (They're Under Arrest)

96ing

Sex as a Sedative

Day 26:

Hospice Roleplay

Gas Station Sex Pills

Balls So Blue They're Practically Purple

Day 27:

Extreme Temperature Cockwarming

Promiscuity Cage

Salt Daddy

Day 28:

Sex with Crocs

Anal Toeing

Breaking a Sex Contract

Day 29:

Coming in Someone Else's Pants

Clowns

Cloning Gone Wrong

Day 30:

Lube As Spit

Pet Work

Clear Showers (Character Is Adequately Hydrated)

Day 31:

Pumpkin Seed Snowballing

Candy Apple Coating

Ghost of a Sex Offender

[tessetc]

@jezapoof

saw this tweet in the wild & now i’m desperate for fic recs. pretty please !!

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Young robot in Hungary, 1980.

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People dunk on danse for a lot of perfectly valid reasons, but saying "ad victoriam" after sex should NOT be one of them. Do you hear the tone of voice that man says that in? Smug little asshole. I KNOW he just gave Sole a legs shaking, vision whiting out, moaning-like-youre-being-paid-for-it orgasm. That man is patting himself on the back for a job well done while his partner lies in post orgasmic bliss, unable to form a thought for at least the next twelve hours. He can say ad victoriam if he wants to. He deserves it.

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Commission done for @tragicpond

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How I picture Angel transport... (was just in the mood for some chibi fluff, you?)

(Don't repost please, reblogs are great!)

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Oh but like.

I am also down for asks.

2025 is my year.

I'm doing fucking FANTASTIC

It's the long weekend so i am gonna lay around and read fanfiction tonight

[tessetc]

It's the long weekend so i am gonna lay around and read fanfiction tonight

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Was brewing up a joke about Midwestern lesbians going one of two ways (Chappell Roan or Dean Winchester) and then I realised this was but the Platonic cave-shadow of Dolly Parton and Bruce Springsteen, and then I got caught up in Marilyn Monroe and James Dean, and Joan Crawford in the black cowboy shirt in Johnny Guitar, and now I'm suspicious that what I have would be less a joke and more a genuine nugget of queer theory if it didn't, y'know. Still have Dean Winchester in there.

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Darcy’s introduction in Pride and Prejudice is really ‘what if you had just had the worst month of your life because your ex-bestie tried to lover boy scam your baby sister out of her share of your dad’s life insurance and your friend dragged you to a shitty party in a dive bar in the neighbourhood where he’d just signed a short term lease, and you decided to let your bad mood show because you were never going to see any of the assholes in this stupid shitty bar EVER again. And your friend ended up making out with a girl he’d just met there while you were stuck talking to her sister who was less cute and then her mother appeared and started trying to matchmake and started saying how if she was twenty years younger she’d clime you like a redwood and ooooh is that a black Amex, guess the next round is on you hahhahahahaha, while her other sister (how many fucking sisters does she have?!) flashed an obviously fake ID at the bar and ordered six vodka-diet red bulls and no one in her family except the less-cute sister even tried to stop her. And you went home and consoled yourself that you would never see any of these people again but then you met them over and over again because they live next door and your friend and the cute sister keep meeting up to make out but not actually date and then. You fall in love with the less-cute sister because it turns out she’s really witty and charismatic but she already knows and remembers and resents the fact that on a day when you were in a shitty mood you called her mid out loud in a dive bar.’

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hey if you died right now whats your ghost outfit you cant change it be honest

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Wow good of this app to notify me of this tag *checks watch* SEVEN YEARS after i was tagged

Update on my customer discrimination policy

Brotherhood of Steel members such as @askthepaladin are also banned but won’t be shot on sight. Because unlike the triggermen, they pose a decent threat.

[tessetc]

Your Cas here* makes me thing of a Cas, maybe in an AU where he expels the Purgatory souls AND the leviathan, and he’s all fucked up still with skin cracks and black goop leaking from his mouth and he looks at Dean, just a fucked up lil guy, and goes

i throwed up ˙◠˙

Of course Dean forgets about being mad at Cas and starts fussing over him.

Sam and Bobby being like:

Sam (ᵕ•_•)

Bobby (≖_≖ )

* https://www.tumblr.com/colorlessjay/780069816025350144/if-deancas-were-to-go-to-a-supernaturals

This is fucking hilarious

Season 6 Canon divergent AU where instead of Cas drowning himself in the lake, he just goes to the lake and vomits the leviathans all up for like, 15 minutes while Sam, Dean, and Bobby watch

Then he passes out on the grass shaking while Dean fucking panics

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@jezapoof

before you stab someone: THINK!

how can you make it Tender?

how can you make it Homoerotic?

how can you make it Implicitly intimate?

how can you make it Noticeably a metaphor for sex?

how can you make it Kind of gay?

[tessetc]

i cant wait for The Last Of Us to come back and give us a full 2 hour long episode explaining the backstory of the corpse in the convention center named Jensen who is holding a letter addressed to a Misha