#and I have easy access because they're MADE IN MY STATE!!!!

[prettyflyshyguy]

Ooooooooooooo I am seriously thinking of ordering a bulk batch of those little keychain keycap fiddle toys but utilising the ultimate power of Acrylic Lacquer and my practice painting gundam to just repaint the caps in candy metallics and colour shift paints chat do you see my vision

[transgenderer]

So there's an octavia butler short story, the book of Martha, where God gives an author (closely patterned on butler herself, but possibly intentionally less creative) infinite(?) power to remake the world, to fix humanity and/or its problems before we destroy ourselves. After considering a variety of options (it's possible she's only allowed to modify human nature? But the story never stares that. Maybe she's just not good at considering all her options) she just gives everyone extremely pleasurable dreams. So they're less ambitious I guess. And in general have nicer lives

Anyway this story has stuck with me in two ways. The first: so, assume you're not just gonna like. Give humanity infinite resources or whatever. How do you make a utopia? Well to me the answer seems obvious, based on my experience of my own psyche. The human mind needs more affection. It's too easy for annoyance or some petty issue to overwhelm affection. And then we are cruel and selfish and all this stuff. Like. Idk, I feel like I've experienced moments of clear-eyed saintlihood. My brain produces that...outlook/emotion/whatever. But it won't stick there, of course. But it feels like it wouldn't be too far a jump to just get the human brain to stick there more easily. Still let us access other states, for variety. Give us some sense of others freedom or whatver, so our care for each other doesn't make us all busy bodies. But like. It would only take the tugging of a few chemical strings to fix human nature. A little less rage, a little more philia.

This is of course an important piece of evidence that if there is a god he doesn't love us. He could have made us full of lovingkindness. He could have made us not want to hurt and humiliate each other. But he didn't. Because all that nastiness helps us succeed in the social games that increase our mating frequency, or selectiveness, or whatever, presumably, and so selective descent with modification doomed us all forever. Or, God is real but cares about something else. Maybe beauty. Maybe he feels the glory of war is worth it.

But the second thing, is noticing which parts of our world feel like a Martha has already been there. I was looking at the sky on the train home today (hmabhrg! There was a William Blake exhibition), admiring it, and I was struck again by how...excessive, superfluous, overflowing, decadent, additional it is. The sky could just be a simple blue, fading evenly to black. Clouds could always be blobby and indistinct. We could all be congenital shortsighted, so they were always blurry. But instead they're just this part of the world, detached from all the specifics of earthly life, that is achingly beautiful, most nights! Sunsets are so beautiful it's cliche, it's boring! That feels like a gift from a Martha. Someone a bit uncreative trying to fix the world in a way that doesn't shake it up too much

[satangcrush]

not the same anon as before but am also searching for om fanfic scraps

please drop some more author recs 🥹🥹🥹

hi nonnie!!! here are some more (i got tired of typing like half way through so some of them are short in description but i truly recc all of these authors okay!!!! also all sfw unless stated otherwise) <3

@aspiringtrashpanda : my recent discovery and love love her writing so much. do check out her obey me month, as well as her masterlist here

@devildom-dedicated-daydreams : suggestive content; this is just a blog dedicated to one fanfic but i highly recommend if you're into like those manhuas/manhwas with secondary character who gets revenge with a system in place. (brain kinda stopped so just check out their work on tumblr or AO3.)

@leviathans-watching : they have a variety of fandoms, so if ure multifandom, u can check out their pinned post for more. if you're only interested in obey me, you can check out their masterlist!

@demonfamilytherapist : i actually got recommended this account from a reblog on the previous ask but i havent had the time to go through their works. but here is their masterlist for reference <3

@shabootldoo : they write for a multitude of fandoms which you can check out in their pinned post, but if you're only interested in obey me, they specialise in writing for character/character (e.g. Solotan, SoloSim, etc etc)

@once-in-a-blood-moon : love jo's brain and im always having fun reading her thoughts (especially as a solomon enjoyer) and you can check out her sfw masterlist here and nsfw masterlist here

@obeythebutler : rosh has many many works for you to check out from one-shots to headcannons to series! you're in for a ride <3 this is their masterlists here (do note that there is nsfw work here so DNI if ure a minor, thank u)

@eraofkalki : vee doesnt have a masterlist yet but im tagging her works here for you to have easy access - young master, solomon's paradox, cor meum

@elsecrytt (NSFW): they havent written for the obey me fandom in a hot minute but i do come back to their masterlist from time to time to READ

@three-realms-archive : one of the first few blogs that i followed when i made mine <3 they do a variety of content too from oneshots, short snippets, hcs and series! they have quite a bit of work so you'll def have fun checking out their masterlist

@books-and-catears : another one that was recommended in a previous reblog on the last ask. i also havent had much of a chance to check them out but this is their masterlist for reference!

@obae-me : they have some nsfw works but they are tagged as such! they do both HCs as well as longer works here. have fun checking out their works hehehe

@meggs-wonderland : they have a mixture of both NSFW and SFW, so do check it out at your discretion :> this is their masterlist , they also do self-ships if ure interested to check it out!

@zephyrchama : if you love writers who specialises in comedy, they're the one for you. their writing always gets a chuckle out of me and i also want to applaud their effort for revamping their masterlist because theres so many works that they have written so far

@mochatsin : this was also another creator that was recommended in the previous ask and i also havent had the chance to check out their works but this is their masterlist

@denpa-dere : was recommended by @/zephyrchama in the replies, do note that they do both NSFW & SFW content! just binged their house arrest series (NSFW!) in the morning lol. (great read, 10/10 recc) this is their masterlist for reference

@thebellearchives : also recc by @/once-in-a-blood-moon!! this is their masterlist for reference, they have a mix of NSFW and SFW as well as write for JJK and Trigun if you are interested in these fandoms as well :>

here are a variety of other accounts that dont really write fics but i enjoy reading/browsing as well <3

@akuzonprime : the blurbs are very cute and i hope u take the chance to go through their account!

@obeymeinfo : they post character (outfit?) sprites of the characters and its a great place to look at, if you are looking for a particular outfit hehe

@devildom-fashion-week : they archive the character battle outfits and voicelines hehe, if ure ever looking for a particular outfit (to write or draw), highly recommend checking them out

@sheepthatgobaa : highly entertaining art. 10/10 recommend. also your token luke fan. (Familial btw. Do not Perceive Kelo Wrongly.) anyways she does a lot of requests too for fanart and it’s always so funny ehheheheh

@enoe-of-noen : they have a variety of content on their blog, from art, to fic, to hcs to, whatever you are looking for, they most probably have it HAHAH you can check out their pinned post here

@featheredcrowbones : love vy's art so im adding them in too lol but do check out their art tag!!!!!

@marsvlog : so actually im also a fan of mystic messenger and seeing their pinned post of belphie and saeran artwork (made me a little feral but i digress) so if ure a fan of both fandoms, ure in for a treat hehe

@dailyraphael : my daily serotonin for fanart of raphael + bonus of cute artstyle yes

@devildomwriter : theyre a great account to check out, they do quotes, lesson summaries, writing, and a plethora of other things!!! i especially love the obey me cast as cats series that they currently have going on.

@solomams : if youre looking for someone who's dedicated to their ocs + solomon & mammon, look no further because lupe is here to save the day

@yoyvmii : also does fanart for multiple fandoms but her mammon in boothill’s outfit artwork lives in my head rent free yes

@nevvn : was recommended by @/once-in-a-blood-moon in the reblog! love love love their solomon drawings, this is my personal fav from them

@solomiracle : was also rec by @/once-in-a-blood-moon! how could i have forgotten abt this, It's one of the staples of the solomon lover community! also what I love abt them is that they consistently reblog old artworks/works of obey me and its always pleasant seeing these artworks floating around again~

@starry-miki : recc by @/once-in-a-blood-moon!!! i did a customary scroll through the account and omg the marketable plushies artwork is so cute LOL, I also love this solomon artwork of theirs, its so pink and he's so cute lol

@sane-omblog : recc by @/in-the-bushes-miki! another one that I forgot to include lol. anyways love their art style, its so cute and whimsical!! (sidenote, i was rooting for teenage satan to win the poll but the art of baby satan was so cute that I was like yeah nvm)

@susujelly : another one recc by @/in-the-bushes-miki! its my first time seeing the account but the pinned post of solomon as the cat made me lol'ed so hard

@afraidofbee : also recc by @/in-the-bushes-miki! also another one that I forgot to include again lol, love seeing their posts of sheep!MC just absolutely getting up to mischief. and the artstyle is super endearing and this is one of my recent favs from them

+ some others i want to recc but I forgot in my initial post so im adding them as I go (im def forgetting people again lol): @bearakero : only posts about thirteen!! love love seeing fanarts of thirteen and this is my personal fav, just think that u do so much justice to her!

guys my brain died btw

Edit #1: guys wait let me self promo also lol hahahahah um my writing blog is @satanghulu if u wanna check me out 💖 okay fr bye

edit #2: this is the previous post if you are still looking for more writers in the fandom!

[soleminisanction]

Okay this misconception keeps coming across my dash and it drives me nuts because it means people are lumping two very different versions of the DC universe under one disparaging banner. So let me just say this to get it off my chest because I'm this close to shaking somebody:

The New 52 ended seven years ago in 2016.

That started a section of DC's history called "Rebirth" in which they started bringing elements of the pre-Flashpoint continuity back into the timeline. The first changes came in a big burst called Convergence -- which is how Jon Kent effectively manifested fully formed at 10 years old -- while other reintroductions like Kon-El, Bart Allen, Cass Cain, etc. were more gradual.

The original plan, being forced through by King of Bad Decisions Dan Didio, was that after ~4-5 Rebirth would give way to another full reboot known as 5G. I could go into detail about the plans but they're honestly not important to this post because Didio was (thankfully, finally) ousted from his role as publisher early in 2020, along with something like 80% of the higher-level editorial staff. DC had a complete creative turn-over at the start of the pandemic and completely changed directions as a result. The material being developed for 5G was retooled into the hypothetical future event "Future State" to buy the new staff time to pull together their new direction.

That new direction is called INFINITE FRONTIER. It started in 2021 and THAT is the era of DC comics we're in now. Infinite Frontier is an active push to bring back the pre-Flashpoint characters, as well as some pre-Crisis ideas and characters, while also keeping the few elements of the New 52 that people actually liked (like Jason Todd's more heroic characterization) and actively pursuing diversity initiatives both in creative staff and in creations. And outside of the big events, they're making a real effort to keep these comics short and self contained in the hopes that that'll make them more accessible. So it's actually really easy, if you read comics pre-Flashpoint and dropped off, to just pick up a series and go with the flow. Anything confusing is just a Google away.

Please, please don't make the mistake of thinking modern comics are as bad as the New 52 just because some people are butthurt their ship isn't getting canonized. There have been some really good comics made in the last few years that you should totally try! Spirit World, Monkey Prince and the entire We Are Legends line has been genuinely fantastic. The new Birds of Prey is shaping up to be a ton of fun. Dark Knights of Steel is an entertaining Elseworld. Urban Legends and Brave & the Bold have done some really fun things with shorter anthology books. One Minute War was a really fun Flash family event and everything Stargirl's done recently is liable to make you cry.

I'm begging people to give these comics a chance. It's just really sad to see them being dismissed out of hand.

[alvivaarts]

Internet Safety Tips for Folks Under 18! <3

I'm writing this because it was brought to my attention that at least one of my followers/readers is 11! Years! Old! How do I know this? Because they publicly announced it! AHH!!! OH NO!

This made me practically lose my mind, because holy shit, internet safety is NOT taught like it used to be!! Are there no more assemblies or class gatherings where you watch internet safety PSA videos anymore? Or learn about it in the library? Like shit!!! Anyway, here is, in the simplest terms, tips I learned when I was under 18 that have kept me not only alive, but thriving and happy on the internet.

What Information is Appropriate/Safe for Me to Share Online?

Very little! Very, VERY little! It would be easier if I told you what NOT to share online! DO NOT SHARE: -Your age/that you are a minor. -Your state, province, or country of origin. -When you are going to school/if you are starting school. -Establishments (restaurants, activity places, etc) that may or may not be in your local area. -Any medical diagnoses (mental or physical). -Any traumatic events or triggers. (We'll come back to this). -Any other details of your day-to-day schedule. -Details about your relationship with family members. -What you are/are not allowed to do. -Passwords or personal emails/phone numbers/contact points.

It's completely fine to share: -Your interests. -Fun anecdotes from your day. -Things you are excited about (not relating to your daily schedule). -What you're eating/drinking/making. -Etc.

I know it sounds cheesy, but you should make it your goal to be unidentifiable online. People do genuinely want to use this information, information about YOU for bad reasons. We already know that data brokers exist- and that there have been massive data leaks in the last few years regarding adults/18+ folks personal information. Those people usually have the agency and ability to reclaim some of that privacy and get their lives back on track. You don't. In addition to that, sharing little snippets of information about yourself from the 'do not share' category can build up over time. It might not feel like much at the time, but it can become pretty easy to identify you with even two or three of those pieces of information. We've seen no-profile having folks on TikTok be doxxed with less.

By that extent, I recommend minimizing the images you post of yourself online, especially if you cannot monitor/approve of who follows you. It can be equally as easy for strangers to figure out where you live based on images you share online, especially if those show your face and places your frequent. We can doubt that the GeoGeussr guy might not use his powers for evil, but plenty of other people absolutely can.

Who is Trustworthy Online?

Short Answer: NO ONE!

If someone you meet in a server says they're your age? No they're not! If someone says they want to be your friend and give you free things/games/etc? No they don't! If you think someone is safe enough to share something personal with online? No they're not! If someone randomly adds you for the purpose of making friends? They are not your friend! If someone says 'you're mature for your age'? No! You're! Not!

It's easy to form attachments to people online. It might be because everyone is 'anonymous' (which is also not true, no one is every truly anonymous online) that it's easier for you to imagine a stranger to be a certain way. Or you might look up to someone a lot because of the things they make or produce. These people, even if you get along with them or share interests with them, are not your friend- and will never be 100% trustworthy. (Of course, there are very rare acceptations- I don't want to be a hypocrite. Two of my very best friends are people I met online and have now met in person. When you become an adult and are able to more easily move around and escape situations -via transportation, access to your own money, not needing to rely on others/adults to assist you, then you can decide to proceed with relationships.)

Additionally, people online especially will never offer you something 'for free'. It will always have a cost- that might be your time, your personal information, or access to you via video or audio call or other personal things.

1- Never accept random phone, audio, or video calls on any social media platform. Do not accept random friend requests either. 2- It is absolutely okay to say 'no', to block people who you don't like or make you uncomfortable, even if those people get mad. Your safety comes before other people's happiness. 3- Never accept 'gifts' from online friends, especially if they are much older than you. 4- Do not click on random links sent by friends or shared on uncertified websites, especially download links. Even mod packs or pirated games can hide viruses, malware, or phishing links- things that can steal your personal information saved to your devices, or that can destroy your devices from the inside out. 5- If you feel uncomfortable or unsure of how to handle a situation, report and block the person involved, and/or contact a moderator, site-manager, or trusted IRL adult.

Online harassment and bullying is also quite scary. This can come in many forms: -People trying to steal information from you. -People shaming you for your appearance. -People shaming you for engaging in the things you enjoy. -People shaming, name calling, or ganging up on you to make fun of you. -Targeted crap-talking towards groups of people by other groups or individuals. -Being told to harm yourself, or that life would be better without you (not true!).

If this occurs to you, block and report the user/s. If you happen to know the person harassing and bullying yourself and others in real life, inform someone in real life as well. Make sure to take screen shots and save them! However, make sure you understand the difference between bullying and someone trying to correct bad behavior or help you. Both can feel very embarrassing at first, but most of the time, people trying to help improve online communities (and you!) will not be shameful, harassing, or bullying. It's okay to feel embarrassed for not understanding particular rules or community standards, but do not take that embarrassment out on others.

Managing Your Own Online Experience

This one might sting for some folks, especially adults who haven't learned it yet, but: YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN ONLINE EXPERIENCE!

We're circling back to telling people online what your traumas and triggers are. Of course, a lot of things happen offline. It can be frustrating to come online as an escape and find something that triggers you or reawakens trauma, or even things that simply discomfort you. When it comes to things that traumatize or trigger you, block the source: Block people who cross your boundaries. Report those who break site guidelines (not people who do things you don't like- who break site guidelines). Block pages that might show things that frighten you. Do not visit websites that are known for certain traumatizing/inappropriate content. Turn on SafeSearch features. You don't even have to inform these people- do not engage, just disconnect. It's not cringe to want to optimize your online experience for your own safety, happiness and comfort!

When it comes to things that make you uncomfortable: Understand the difference between things that are traumatizing/triggering, and things that make your unhappy/uncomfortable/that you personally dislike. There is a difference. While you absolutely should have a safe and comfortable online experience, it is not appropriate or safe to approach people telling them to change X Y Z thing about what they post, discuss, or share. It's not appropriate to threaten, harass, or shame others for engaging in content that you might not like personally, or even engaging versions/aspects of that media in a way you might not yourself. The easiest way to avoid it? Don't engage with it. The instant you start to comment and complain, you're potentially outing yourself as a minor, AND telling the website algorithm that you want to see MORE of this thing you dislike, simply by engaging with it. It's a double whammy. Remember that, while your happiness and safety comes first, that does not come at the expense of other's wellbeing or enjoyment, unless that wellbeing or enjoyment is an active risk of physical or genuine harm to you that you cannot otherwise block yourself.

Finally, keep in mind that Adult Spaces/18+ spaces ARE NOT DESIGNED FOR YOU, WITH YOU IN MIND, OR FOR YOUR BENEFIT! It might feel and sound very exciting and even satisfying to get into an adult space unnoticed. However, these spaces are not meant for you- they often do NOT have all of the same safety tools as other 'public' online spaces. You are also putting yourself and the adults in the community at risk: Adults who may engage with you as an adult, because it's an adult-only space, without knowing you're a minor- as well as potentially engaging with adults who won't care whether or not you're a minor. Be especially mindful if an adult has a DNI specific to minors: that person DOES NOT want to engage with you. You wouldn't want your boundaries crossed, right? Don't cross theirs!

Some general rules to monitor your own online experience: 1- Block any potential sources of trauma/triggers. However, do not report them unless the subject matter genuinely breaks website rules (these differ DRASTICALLY depending on the site. Understand them before making any reports). 2- Live and Let Die (or Ship and Let Ship). Especially in fandom spaces. It's okay for you to have a particular take on a media, character, or ship. It is not okay for you to demean or diminish others for engaging in that media, character, or ship differently than you would. It isn't a competition about who's 'right'. Just enjoy yourself! 3- Turn on SafeSearch and Private Account settings. This minimizes potential triggers/uncomfortable subject matter, and allows you to monitor who engages with your account. 4- Do not actively pursue 18+ spaces. You don't have to stay 'in the kids zone', but don't try to insert yourself in a place where you cannot control what you might encounter.

----

I think that's about it! I'm sure there'll be other folks with plenty more to add, but these are the basics. Keep them in mind and try not to let yourself learn the hard way like I (and many others) did that The Internet as not as safe and fun as you might think it is. Of course, it is- but it's also full of unfun, or even dangerous things and people. Take care of yourself!

[totally-sick-blogger]

Sustainability is rarely accessible

This post is dedicated to Audrey, hi king!

Like many people, I think sustainability and taking care of the environment is really important; however, something that I feel isn't talked about enough when discussing ways to be more sustainable is how it's often inaccessible to disabled people and low-income people.

A lot of "alternative products" aren't viable options for disabled people because of factors such as cost, how easy they are to acquire, or physical accessibility issues.

some examples include:

paper straws and wooden cutlery - I know that for me both of these products give me major sensory issues and as for wooden cutlery I'd also like to note that they're much more difficult to eat with which could cause problems for someone with poor dexterity or fine motor skills.

pre-packaged foods - a lot of disabled people rely on pre-packaged meals and snacks for all kinds of reasons such as sensory issues, having specific safe foods, fatigue, and physically being unable to prepare foods. etc. One example I see often is being told off for buying precut produce because why not "just cut it up themselves" when in reality, some people physically cannot cut it up themselves or don't have enough spoons to make that a priority; not to mention that frozen and pre-cut produce is often cheaper than fresh produce.

medical supplies - A lot the medical supplies that disabled people rely on every day are made up of single use plastics and most of the items aren't meant to be used more than once (though some products can be used for multiple days if cared for properly) that being said, disabled people tend to produce more plastic waste but it's not our faults so we shouldn't be getting flack for it!

Another element of environmental advocacy that a lot of people talk about is veganism; which is of course great thing to practice if that's what works for you but a lot of people (disabled or not) cannot be vegan for dietary reasons. This could be because of allergies, intolerances, restrictions, location, finances, etc. For example, I've got a soy allergy and I've got a friend with a severe nut allergy. This means that neither of us could be fully vegan because the majority of vegan products are made with soy and nuts. I also rely partially on tube feeds for nutrition and as far as I know, there aren't any vegan, soy-free formulas yet (and if there are they're probably absurdly expensive)

This brings me to my final point about cost. A lot of alternative options for vegan and sustainable products are significantly more expensive; making it much harder for people who are already struggling financially to afford those products. Not to mention people who live in food deserts (areas of a city that don't contain grocery stores) or rural areas. There are very low chances that either of those places is going to have specialty food stores or even have alternative options in the few stores that they do have!

In conclusion: stop blaming poor and disabled people for the awful state of our environment and start blaming billionaires and massive corporations!

[icaruspendragon]

Hi! A while ago I saw one of your tiktoks about how northern democrats typically view people from Appalachia, and it really made me re-examine some biases I had and I deeply appreciated that. I'm from New Hampshire, and basically this primary season we were completely ignored by democratic candidates because of some issues with the DNC and our primary being labeled "unsanctioned". It was weird to not feel supported or valued by my party for the first time ever, (especially when NH tends to get a lot of attention) and it reminded me of your tiktok and how you mentioned that republicans tend to reach out to people in the south while democrats tend to ignore them as a lost cause. Because I saw that happening here with an insanly disproportionate republican presence in my state leading to the primaries. I know the comparisons aren't equal, but it helped drive home the message for me and gave me just a taste of what you explained so clearly in your tiktok. I understand if you choose not to post this, but I really wanted to thank you for opening my eyes and helping me face some biases I didn't know I had.

hello and thank you (for re-examining your biases and for writing me this message). i'm gonna use this as a chance to restate some of the things i mentioned in the video you're talking about.

i'd like to start this by saying i know appalachia and the south aren't perfect. there's racism and homophobia and bigotry. being someone who is marginalized or minoritized in appalachia/the south isn't always easy. but appalachia/the south doesn't have the monopoly on bigotry. america is rife with it. it's something marginalized folks all over the country have to face. and when northern dems act like racism and homophobia and bigotry are things that don't occur in their state simply because it's a blue state, they're doing an incredible disservice to the marginalized people that live in their communities who are facing the results of bigotry.

the folks living in appalachia/the south are heavily stereotyped as nothing more than ignorant backwood cousin fucking hillbillies, and while there are people that live here that fit that bill, appalachia/the south is not a monolith.

appalachia is region that spans from mississippi all the way to new york. the south (depending on who you ask) consists of 17 different states. and here's a little fun fact about the south for ya: according to the 2020 census, out of the 41.6 million black people that live in america, 38.9% of them live in the south.

so when that entire region is written off, forgotten about, and treated as a lost cause it's not the bigots that are being left behind; it's the marginalized people that live here that are being written off. the very same folks democrats and liberals love claiming they care about are the ones being left behind.

one of the reasons republicans have such a strong hold on appalachia/the south is because they put in the work to earn the trust of the voter. work that democrats just don't do. so of course republicans are gonna get the vote, they earned it.

other reasons for the stronghold existing (that people never wanna talk about for some reason) are: gerrymandering, voter suppression, lack of state funding that leads to lack of education, general lack of education, high poverty rates, lack of internet access. i could go on and on.

there are so many marginalized people that live in this region that are working themselves to the bone and trying their damndest to make appalachia/the south a better place for EVERYONE to live and when high falutin yankees act like every single person that lives here is the racist uncle you have to ignore at christmas, they are discrediting the work being done to try and change the region for the better.

allow me to say this again: when appalachia/the south is written off as nothing more than a home to bigots, it's not the bigots being written off, it's the people affected by bigotry.

there are people fighting to make these areas better. we are trying. so please, please stop writing us off.

we are not a lost cause.

[thescreamcorner]

Sometimes it's really really concerning how much anti-psychiatry and anti-recovery rhetoric exists-- and for once I'm not just talking about endos, but even within the OSDDID internetsphere, especially in actively pro self dx circles. It's not to say that you can't or shouldn't work on things away from a healthcare team, but with chronic and intensely debilitating disorders it is rare, if not impossible to fully be "fine" without help.

Like. If you're experiencing dissociative amnesia or memory/identity issues in general (even when caused by things as innocuously treated online like ADHD if it's at a debilitating level), you NEED someone who isn't affected by those things in order to have a sense of grounding and heal. And it's vital for that to be someone who has a baseline understanding of how dissociative disorders work.

My caseworker calls are sometimes the only thing giving me any sense of the passage of time, and she remembers things during calls that I completely forget or dissociate through. Not even my partner can consistently provide this because of her time blindness, vs the professional who reaches out, doesn't have a disorder affecting her memory, and takes notes during our calls.

My therapy visits, as infrequent as they've been lately, are some of the only reason why we've made progress toward one of our alters no longer making contact with our abusers when she fronts, and that fight isn't over yet. My partner can't stop her from doing it-- she'll wait until they're asleep. They also don't have the resources or bandwidth to address with her why doing this is bad, and if they intervene incorrectly it increases the chance that one day I wake up in another state.

I get from firsthand experience that healthcare, especially in the US, is notoriously inaccessible, and in some places the facilities available are full of inexperienced, incompassionate tools who don't care about their patients. But instead of using that as an excuse to stop trying, instead of pushing others into not seeking care and not trusting doctors, that needs to get channeled into finding and providing resources.

Many states have government funded healthcare available for those below the poverty line. Many facilities offer payment scaling plans even without insurance. A fair amount of insurance companies that "don't cover this" will make exceptions if you go through other channels and get professional referrals. It's not easy, it's not always free, and it's not fast. For those underage, it may be awhile before you can legally access it.

But for the love of all that is sacred on this burning planet, do NOT discourage trauma survivors from trying to get psychiatric help over the potential of a bad experience or a bad doctor. You are not helping people heal and learn to love themselves. You are creating paranoia and enforcing a regressive mentality that can prevent someone from reaching out before its too late.

[transmutationisms]

You’ve introduced me to so many topics in theory but there are days when I have no idea what you’re talking about and i twirl my hair and kick my feet while I’m lying on my bed and giggle like omg tell me more

hi megan <3 this is fair also sometimes i am truly talking out my ass and making zero effort to make a thought comprehensible to anyone else lol but i remember you've read some of the 'speculative materialists' so you would probably get a kick out of this:

basically i was mostly just drafting a paragraph explaining how the french 'idéologues' in the 1790s-1810s conceived of sense perception and access to external phenomena, and i used kant as a compare/contrast because he's an easy reference point on this topic/time period:

Idéologie itself was never a singular scientific method, but described a loose methodological family (often referred to by ‘Idéologues,’ such as Cabanis, as analysis) that aimed to uncover the deeper truths and universal laws that structured phenomenal observations. It was this quality that led the historian of medicine George Rosen to describe idéologie as a meeting point of empiricism and the “passive psychology” of Étienne Bonnot de Condillac (1714–1780). For Condillac and his followers, including Cabanis, all ideas of the human mind had their origin in sensations—that is, in the impressions made by external objects upon the sensory organs. Thus, an idea could always be broken down to its component sensations, which could be traced back to their external sources. There were no human ideas or mental faculties that did not ultimately take their source from sensory impressions; human understanding could be studied, corrected, and eventually refashioned by careful application of the ‘analytical’ method. Whereas Kant, whose first Critique was published in 1781, defended a distinction between a priori and a posteriori judgments, the Idéologues considered even an inherited tendency or instinct to be ultimately and strictly a product of sensation. If Kantian transcendental idealism dictated that human observation could never directly access the external phenomena in-themselves, idéologie instead embraced the naïve realist position that the external objects could truly be known and described—but only by precise analysis of their noumenal representations.

and then i was like well condillac died in 1780 and cabanis's most famous treatise was published in 1802 so basically the timing lines up really well for this comparison to kant, and what you would need to do is derive these different attitudes toward things-in-themselves from the political-economic contexts that they're embedded in & patterned on. which would be extremely easy to do on the french side because cabanis was 1) a politician and 2) explicitly openly concerned about the health of the workforce as a means of ensuring the continued production of french national wealth, such that my argument about him is essentially that we should be reading him as espousing proto eugenic positions and as verbalising much of the biopolitical remit of the revolutionary and postrevolutionary french state. like essentially, analogous to the way that c. darwin 'found' capitalist competition in nature, you would say something like, cabanis 'found' (naturalised) the need for management and alteration of the labourer's body & physiology in his medico-philosophical treatises.

anyway i would need to brush up on kant biography stuff but given his interest in physical anthropology and specifically his racial essentialism, it would be easy also to argue that his 'correlationist' thinking derived from how he patterned psychology on a teleological racial-hierarchical view of human biology. which is in turn ofc an economic and political argument. so what i would want to prove here is that both these positions, while seemingly disparate, are ultimately just different bourgeois ideologies & follow superstructurally from the material alienation of capitalist labour relations etc etc. i would do this more elegantly and thoroughly in an actual article but this is tumblr.dashboard :-)

[donnerpartyofone]

Hello, Sqwincher Zero and I are here to tell you to take this heat wave seriously. I had never heard of Sqwincher Zero before I took this picture with the intention of making fun of its name, but I sure wished I had some later that night. I will not invite you to scrutinize the series of bad decisions that I made yesterday leading up to a serious and avoidable medical emergency, but suffice it to say that none of these decisions were extreme or unusual for a fun grownup weekend. If anything I dialed it back a little, consciously, and I believed I was drinking plenty of water. It wasn't enough. I was feeling fine until I suddenly wasn't. My awareness of being Severely Dehydrated came on very quickly and then the next few hours were a scary nightmare. I am OK this morning and reviewing certain life choices and also our state of emergency preparedness.

I'm an extremely fortunate person. I have access to clean water, good food, and an amazing person who I tricked into marrying me, so someone is there to help me when I can't help myself. I am also in reasonably good health--which perhaps helped lull me into a false sense of security, especially at an age when my health is inevitably, normally changing, but I just haven't been paying that much attention to it.

Last night when things suddenly became very dark, I was struck with the intense and undeniable awareness that I needed emergency intervention. Like I should have called 911. I knew it for a fact. I have never experienced such a thing before. I could not get past the mental block of admitting that I was having an unprecedented physical crisis. Telling my husband to call 911 just seemed too radical. But I thought about it for hours. I even had a whole fantasy like, OK if my husband called 911 what would they ask him? What would they tell him to do? Instead of acting on this I just gave him little instructions one at a time. Let's draw a cold bath, let's move the fan, let's get a bucket, let's get a couple bottles of water, refill them now please. I was thinking very clearly, I was thinking about my temperature, I was monitoring my water intake versus how often I got sick. The one respect in which I was being irrational (besides my series of careless decisions during the day) was that I could not admit that I needed a doctor.

It's really easy to say things like "Don't be a tough guy, take care of yourself," as if the problem is strictly attitudinal. But switching gears into (for lack of a better term) self-care can be extremely psychologically complex. Being macho or too proud is one thing. Being habitually, neurotically afraid to frighten or inconvenience other people, or ashamed of drawing attention to yourself, is another thing. Being self-destructive and passively suicidal is yet another thing, with deep and insidious roots that can affect more things about your behavior than you even know. And finally, acknowledging that you are experiencing the paradigm shift of a Real Emergency, which might require scary and expensive and unpredictable new activities to get you out of it, is a whole other thing entirely. This is going to sound like an exaggerated reference point but whenever a serial killer is caught and people start saying that the spouse "must have known", they're not factoring in how hard it is to accept that your whole reality is changing and everything is very serious now. Even if the evidence was glaring, it would be a lot to process. There's even a thing in the book Interview With the Vampire as I recall, where somebody says it has been no big deal for vampires to hide their existence through the ages because humans will do extreme mental gymnastics to convince themselves that everything is normal. This all is more or less what was happening with me while I was refusing to call 911. I mean I knew that I should, I just couldn't make the leap.

I should say that my poor husband had no idea how bad it was. To him it just seemed like I'd had a little too much fun, and he was being patient and attentive. None of this is on him, I didn't explain things until I was out of the woods. One thing I feel bad about, that I rarely think about even though it's majorly true, is that not taking care of yourself can frequently, inevitably become someone else's problem. It cannot always stay private and contained forever; if you are incapacitated somehow, you will become someone else's chore.

I want to repeat that I didn't do anything that a normal adult wouldn't do on a Friday night. None of my actions were that extreme in and of themselves; I didn't even have alcohol in my system anymore by the time this struck. But I was not factoring in the weather, or my age, or anything like that that would have been important. We don't have an air conditioner at the moment because we have been luxuriating in our new well-ventilated apartment and enjoying the fact that we can survive with just box fans. I radically underestimated the potential consequences of just toughing it out and going about my business. I need to think more carefully about such things, and mentally reorient myself on preparing for emergencies instead of just reacting "if anything comes up". And I should also supplement our first aid supplies with something that isn't just for cuts and colds. I'm lucky I had cold, clean water, but at some point I really needed electrolytes and vitamins, and there was just nothing to be done for it late at night. I have a lot more thinking to do on this general topic, but it's time for me to get up and drink more water. And maybe go buy some Sqwincher Zero.

[sysmedsaresexist]

What you're doing is incredibly brave. We really appreciate the risk you're taking sharing your journey. It's awesome to see someone so vocal and with such reach openly change their stance.

We wanna know some of your thoughts about something you've been saying in all of this, about CDDs being separate from endogenic plurality. Specifically, your thoughts on when the two do meet. Like, endogenic systems that get traumatized and develop CDD symptoms? Or CDD systems that practice headmate creation, and find created headmates working like the rest of their system? Or folks in either category that relate a lot with those in the other?

We're curious because we exist in that in-between; a system with DID due to trauma, but that doesn't view our plurality itself as coming from trauma.

And if you're not at all interested in that area of overlap, or in sharing those thoughts, no worries! Have a great day!

This is a pretty nuanced ask and each mod has a different view on things, so we'll all answer!

Mod Signal: I believe that endogenic plurality and the plurality found in CDD systems works differently, but that intersection you're talking about can exist. The majority of resources for CDD systems involve how to deal with trauma and different alters reactions to it. If an endogenic system goes through some shit and gets trauma later in life, and can get use out of grounding guides, or how to deal with flooding, I say use those guides (and literally anyone can improve their mental health from therapy as long as the therapist. You know. Isn't a cunt.) That being said. There are also endos who are very certain they're endos when they may have.... a bit more trauma than they thought. And that's normal. Incredibly so. But endogenic communities can lead to a bit more harm than good occasionally with those systems if they insist that the system in question isn't or couldn't be a cdd system, or encourages them not to look into resources on how to deal with trauma.

As far as purposefully created alters, they absolutely exist, and I know CDD systems that have created alters with it going ok, and CDD systems who have been *horribly* hurt trying. I've seen some tulpamancy guides out there that made me wince the whole time I've read them. Not because they're cringy, but because any time a CDD system fucks around with purposeful dissociation, it's Incredibly easy to fuck yourself up by accident. Even some guides to meditation can be harmful to systems if you don't go slowly and pay attention to your body (something that's already very, very easy to ignore if your system, like mine, is made of 90% pain holders lol).

It's for that reason that i haven't changed my pinned intro as "endo-neutral". I dont doubt endogenic plurality at all, but I still find a lot of critiques in the way the two communities mix. The labels are fucked anyway lol so. I dont know what label would best fit that stance. The problem does seem to be slowly fixing itself though. I'm happy that a lot of endos are leaning away from terms used by CDD systems. I view these problems for the most part as growing pains that will smooth themselves over as plurality in general becomes more accepted and more research about both sets of systems comes out.

Mod Quill: I’m feel like that’s a great jumping off point for me, someone who is so weird with syscourse that labels don’t fit me. I believe in endogenic plurality, I really do, but I also know this community has done so much harm to CDDs and vice versa. Part of me wants everyone to go to time out corners and think about what they’ve done.

In terms of the overlap between endogenic and CDD systems… I think defining it, at this point, is frankly meaningless, particularly for the reasons Signal stated. There’s so many endogenic systems who are actually CDD systems. On one hand, I want them to be able to access CDD spaces because, well, they have a CDD… but on the other, as someone who’s been horrifically damaged by endogenic spaces, who has spread a lot of misinformation and been fed a lot of misinformation due to those experiences… I’m wary of letting someone like that into a highly fucking traumatized space. (But I also have feelings about CDD spaces in general…)

At the end of the day, I feel like it’s not my place to draw that line. It’s up to each individual and their own system where they draw the line, and so long as it’s in-line with current understandings of CDDs and they don’t speak their personal experiences as if they’re gospel truth for all systems, I have no issues. If someone says they have endogenic DID (as in, they formed DID with absolutely no trauma), it’s not my place to directly confront that person and tell them that’s not possible; but if they shout from the heavens about how people are ignoring the truth, I’m going to post the truth as I know it, with sources to back it up.

The same goes for this overlap. A system who says “Hey, I have created alters, and I’m a DID system, and those things overlap?” Cool! Awesome! That’s actually my type of system. A system who goes, “Therefore, DID systems should split new alters for the benefits it has”? Allow me to traumadump about how my system completely destabilized due to that practice. The overlap is there, but it’s not for me to define for others; not unless they make their experiences universal.

Mod Robo: Oh boy, I have a lot of Thoughts on all of these questions! It's stuff I think about often. I love talking about all the in-betweens and overlaps, and I'd love to hear about your experiences too. Unfortunately, I don't think I can jam all of my thoughts in this post (it's already long enough) so I'll just talk about your first question.

First off, I want to say that I don't think it's all that unusual for someone with a CDD to feel like they've always been plural, even before their CDD. Of course, spiritual beliefs can play a role in that. Let's put spiritual reasonings aside though and look at it from a purely psychological view. It's our belief that all of our alters -- everything that can be them, will become them, etc. -- it's all there from the start. We don't believe that alters come out of a vacuum. All of my alters were born the day our body was born. Many of us did not exist as alters yet, but the foundation for us existed!

To give a personal example: some of us have memories of childhood that predate our existence as alters. These memories predate our knowledge of being a system or having DID. We've wondered how it's possible to have memories that predate our existence as alters. How is it possible for several alters to have these same memories, and feel as if it's their own but also not? How is it possible that we can't really attribute "who" those memories belong to other than just...us? All of us? It didn't fit into the mainstream idea that alters are supposed to be these distinct, clear-cut people sharing a body, with separate memories and no overlap, no utterance of our existence before becoming a separate alter.

Children aren't born with an integrated self. You probably know the whole spiel -- the mind integrates as you get older, blah blah blah. So, in our opinion, we were never not plural. We had an unintegrated mind full of parts as a child, and we grew up into an adult with an unintegrated mind full of parts and eventually a DID diagnosis.

I get that some people don't see themselves as existing before their CDD and that's okay, I understand that. I also relate to that, in a way! It can be weird to consider because you as the alter didn't exist until later on. But you as the brain did, if that makes sense.

All that being said, I believe that "endogenic CDDs" are a completely separate concept from "endogenic systems with CDDs." CDDs are diagnoses -- they have specified symptoms, diagnostic criteria, and treatment. Diagnoses are not people. You are. That's why plurality is such an incredibly personal thing, after all. We're literally talking about your own mind. Your self/selves. Your internal reality. No duh there are gonna be people who conceptualize and talk about it in different ways. Like, I firmly believe that's NEVER going to be clear cut and easy to understand.

OG Dude: First, I have to say, thank you to my mods. Their responses are fantastic, I support all of them. I brought them all in pretty early, and I wouldn't be where I am without them. Their pro/endo patience while I went back and forth, screamed and yelled... I love them. I love that they saw the good in me and decided to help me run this blog.

I agree with all that they said. For clarity sake, I'll give my own thoughts, even if they overlap or repeat.

I've posted from the beginning about how a lot of things that endogenic systems talked about were actually really normal in DID systems. Created alters, characters that take on life, MADD, loving your system, dysfunction in different areas of life, on and on. I think there's more intersection than a lot of people realize, but I really like how Robo talked about personal views. It took a really long time to realize that people defining their experiences in different ways isn't necessarily a bad thing, though it's unfortunate that sometimes this confuses systems that are still learning.

Yelling and screaming isn't going to help, though. There's another ask coming, this one about my thoughts on sophie, that I think will tie into this point and expand on it a lot more, so for now, I'll move on.

I don't have all the answers. I think CDDs are something extremely specific-- I think in a few more years, diagnosis will involve brain scans, biomarkers, and we'll be able to say with a lot more certainty where that line is, and what's different.

For now, I think I've learned that the best thing I can do for myself, and everyone else, endo or CDD, is just keep pumping out information.

A couple users on here are really good examples of these lines. They have CPTSD, PTSD, whatever else they've got going on, but they still hold the belief that their plurality and CPTSD are unrelated. It took a long time to come to terms with balancing respect for that self-determination, and my expectations of technology and the specificity of CDDs (meaning like, specific biomarkers).

In the end, I realized that it boiled down to, "are people getting the help they need?" Because in the end, that's all that matters, and if someone doesn't think they need help, why am I arguing? If someone does, who am I to keep them from resources?

What if that technology doesn't reach the mainstream, what if it's decades before it's refined enough to be financially feasible in diagnosis? What if people come out with the exact same brain structure as someone with DID and still refuse to admit that the plurality is related?

Well, shit, I don't know, but I'm guessing the answer is still going to be, "Don't yell at them, respect their self-determination."

I still firmly believe that plurality and CDDs are different things. I think that treatment for CPTSD and PTSD are different, and many endos without longterm, repetitive trauma in childhood have PTSD, and would benefit more from those spaces and resources than CDD/CPTSD spaces. However, I also admit that a general PTSD space isn't going to be prepared for the complex interplay of plurality and PTSD. All that said, it's not my job to tell someone which they have, my job should be to present information on both to everyone and let people come to their own conclusions.

It's hard, but it's a skill I'm still trying to learn. Seeing more people talk about their experiences is probably the only thing that's going to help make it easier.

[newvegascowboy]

Proposal based on your food post and some things in Fallout.

:readmore:

Homemade sodas and sweet drinks are incredibly common based on home recipes passed down through the generations.

In Fallout new Vegas, and in Fallout 4 you can make drinks such as Nuka-Cola.

Filtering water and making it drinkable will be a big priority wherever you go. But making it palatable will also be a big goal.

Local settlements will probably mix sweeteners like syrup, juices, or even honey to mix it in the water.

Tea will be very popular too with all kinds of local teas made from local plants, sweetened with local sweeteners, and traded or even sold to each other.

Tea has the advantage of being boiled, filtered, and flavored making it a popular drink with massive variants between region to region and even settlement to settlement.

Brahmin milk will have a lot of nutrients and apparently good for treating radiation so odds are its also used as a medicine and a big part of a lot of diets.

Some rare drinks may still be possible but take a lot of work such as coffee, and ice cream.

Coffee needs specific growth and a lot of space to grow. So maybe it'll grow in small quantities.

There's ways to make ice cream without machines but it takes a lot of salt, ice, and milk. So you'd have to be very wealthy or very well located to have it

Shaved ice with simple syrups and fruits may make good treats in areas where there's a lot of ice

I fully agree with all of this! Not including it was probably a bit of an oversight on my part, but this is exactly the kind of extrapolation and worldbuilding I was aiming for.

Soda was invented in the mid 1800s, so I don't think it's beyond the realm of possibility for people to have reinvented soft drinks. Originally, the water was taken from springs that were naturally carbonated and today, we can do it at home with compressed CO2. Even if the drinks aren't carbonated, I totally believe and agree with the idea that they're making sweet drinks.

I was going to mention in the original post and forgot, but lemons? Those things totally still exist. Citrus is too much of a botanical freak not to have survived. It might not be lemons (or limes, or oranges) as we know them, but they are OUT THERE and that means lemonade is real.

Tea is canon within the realm of fallout because you can brew several different varieties in 76. Also, hot drinks are comforting, especially in the winter and I think it's totally reasonable to think that new brews have popped up with the addition Coffee grows in Mexico at a similar latitude to Florida and parts of the southern united states, so I think you could claim that certain strains have been cultivated and grown in those areas, though it might be rare and extremely expensive.

Ice cream's origins are known to reach back as far as the second century B.C., although no specific date of origin nor inventor has been undisputably credited with its discovery. We know that Alexander the Great enjoyed snow and ice flavored with honey and nectar. Biblical references also show that King Solomon was fond of iced drinks during harvesting. During the Roman Empire, Nero Claudius Caesar (A.D. 54-86) frequently sent runners into the mountains for snow, which was then flavored with fruits and juices.

Ice cream is one HUNDRED percent a thing in the wasteland. The milk and cream is easy to source from Brahmin milk. Cane sugar can be grown in Florida and Louisiana, so it's not unreasonable to think that that's another rare and expensive import. It would be easier and cheaper to get your sugar from tree sap or malt grain or reduced fruits, but cane sugar is out there. Making ice cream is a pretty popular thing for kids to do -- put some rock salt and ice in a bag with cream, sugar, and vanilla, and shake it until it freezes. On the coast, salt is probably pretty abundant, even if it's time consuming to harvest, but vanilla is probably one spice that nobody has access to in the wasteland.

Ice houses and cold cellars are probably pretty common in the wasteland, so ice could be available all year round. Plus, refrigeration is useful in the process of preserving foods rather than canning or bottling.

I think it's important to keep in mind that people are smart, and just because the bombs dropped, we didn't revert back to the stone age. The knowledge of canning, bottling, making jams and preserves, cold storage, curing meat, making cheese -- all that knowledge is old. Just because modern technology makes it easier doesn't mean people couldn't do it two hundred years ago. If the knowledge is lost, logic and human ingenuity will rediscover it eventually.

[copperbadge]

I feel like you had some posts about coworkers saving stuff in weird file formats a while ago. I couldn't find them to reference, but. My job is a lot of working in SQL. The company hired a new guy a year ago who isn't that comfortable with SQL. For a YEAR, I've been trying to get him to save the SQL code he uses so he can learn from it and build on it. On Friday, I asked him to open up a query I told him to save and he pulled up an Excel file. (1/2)

I asked what he was doing, and he showed me how he started saving SQL code. Instead of just saving the file as a SQL file, which would be really easy and just involve using the File menu in SQL, he copies the query into a sheet in an Excel workbook. 🤦🏻‍♀️ On the one hand, I should be happy because it took me a year to finally get him to save stuff. But why would anyone do that??? He's already in SQL! Just save it! 😂 (2/2)

LOL yeah I had posted about my HR officer sending the law firm a PDF of our handbook to "proof" and them saving it as word, proofing, then saving back to PDF to send it back to us, meaning I had to basically reformat the entire document from scratch. :D And then there was the no-fly list being saved as a CSV.

I have to admit I don't work in code at all, so what you're saying sounds very much like something I'd do -- take something I'd been told to archive but wasn't comfortable with and put it into a structure I found more familiar. Like, did he know he could save it in SQL? Did he feel confident that having saved it he could find it again? I don't know how things are saved in SQL, after all, or how I'd go about finding them. I've worked in databases where there's only one "save" slot, so when you save something, anything you'd previously saved is wiped out. Whereas in Excel, I know exactly how to keep notes and access them.

The problem tends to be less that people know how to do something but do it differently for no visible reason, and more that we're asking people who aren't familiar with certain file types to do things with them but not training them in the how or why. Like, my HR officer didn't know you can't easily proof in PDF format, but that's because we haven't trained her in it (I've offered but she's very nervous about it, and I can't MAKE her learn her way around a PDF). So while I'm mad-amused about having to redo the entire handbook, it's less because she made the job tough on me and more because a combination of her lack of training and pettiness on the part of the law firm meant more work for me. Not securing a no-fly list properly on a server is a big deal -- but that means the person we ask to do it should be thoroughly trained and understand both how and why they're doing what they're doing. And given the state of American air travel I'm guessing they just picked someone who looked like they didn't have enough work to do.

Anyway -- it is funny that he had code saved in Excel, a notoriously difficult program for saving things in the format you want them to be saved in :D But I can't help feeling for the guy, I wouldn't want to have to learn-by-doing my way through SQL code either :D

[wyvchard]

I have no idea where I'm going with this.

Original Post / Context

@tillywunderwing, I hope it's fine if I write a paragraph or two about this. It got stuck on my mind.

(Also, I remembered this fic which I think you wrote? This could also be one of their more frustrating deaths too. The deaths where they thought they did everything right but forgot one crucial thing that they overlooked.)

Typical Trigger Warnings from IEYTD applies.

Phoenix wakes up in a hospital bed, taking a few short breaths before a hand forced them back to lying down.

"Agent, take it easy." Their handler sighed in relief, now that they're out of danger. "Zoraxis won't get you from here."

"...Reggie, I'm... so sorry. I was stupid to let Zoraxis capture me like that. I didn't mean to."

"It's not your fault, Agent. No one would have seen that coming."

"... But I should have. It was right there. I... I could have dodged it. It was... always there."

"Agent, I barely saw it myself, even as you were being captured. Please, don't scold yourself."

The agent merely looked at the ceiling, taking a few breaths. "I'm slipping, Reggie. I'm making a mess."

"Agent, you're doing well with your track record."

"But I'm not!" They raised their voice as sat up, glaring at their handler like a wounded animal. "I-i should have been able to see it coming! But didn't! If things go down like they did last time, so many people will die. Dr. Prism will die! John Juniper will die too! You did too! All because Zoraxis figured out which agents can become turncoats since they used my compromised status to sneak into headquarters and steal the files while everyone was panicking!"

They clasped their mouth, wincing as their IV got pulled. "I... It's nothing. I'm probably just overthinking again."

"Agent, answer me honestly. Did you betray the agency when you were captured?" Reginald kept his even tone, controlling his emotions to avoid the turmoil on the implications that their adversary managed to break their top agent.

"N-no. I... Don't make me answer that. Please. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to shoot you, I swear! I undid it, didn't I? You're alive. You're here. You're here."

Reginald held a breath as he watched his agent claw their hair in order to calm down, reduced to mumbling that he can't even catch up due to how incoherent it had become.

It took a while for him to register that he was pushed out of the ward as they dealt with his agent's breakdown.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"We're calling this mission, "Operation: Friendly Skies". I hope you like cars, and airplanes, and cars in airplanes. Dr. Zor, corporate billionaire by day, underhanded villain by night, has a cargo plane scheduled to depart for Zanzibar this very evening. We need you to infiltrate the plane before it takes off. Gain access to the vehicle held within, and drive it right off the airplane. Our Intel assures us, Zor's car is equipped to handle a fall from any height, so we're almost positive you won't die."

The agent heard the briefing for the nth time. At this point, they can mimic what he can say, word for word. But they won't; they had done that 3 rewinds ago.

They were still shaking from the fact that whatever they were given was enough to put them into a suggestible state that made them slip up and tell Reginald the truth. Well, half-truth.

They did turn their violence against the agency after Zoraxis broke their mind after a long time. But that was countless rewinds ago. But they still lied that they did that in this rewind in order to avoid their handler's pained expression. Right?

They were still shaking from the agency's punishment for turncoats, the pain still lingered as they shook on the chair of their office.

"Agent?" Their handler spoke. "Getting cold feet?"

They shook their head, raising up a hand to ask him to give them time to breathe.

"Sorry. I dozed off. Drive the car off the plane. Got it." They spoke, grabbing the items they typically grab for their first mission.

Just what will this rewind bring?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reginald came to R&D with worry, having left HR with confirmation that several dossiers of field agents have been compromised. The agency will become a mess soon enough, and that's not even counting the thought that his agent had become a turncoat.

Not to mention the other things they've found.

"Crane, you need to see this. None of this makes sense. Your agent has memories of things that haven't happened. Zoraxis could be implanting false memories for all we know."

"I wouldn't put it past them." He muttered, taking a look at the data Zoraxis gathered from their agent, he clenched his fist as the memory of Phoenix's wails echoed in his mind.

A lot of false memories have been implanted within his agent and he has to ground them back to reality. He has to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

For context: This is a misunderstanding in Reggie's part. Zoraxis did not implant false memories as those were from the previous rewinds. However, Reginald (logically) assumes that it was a false memory. In a world where time loops are mostly in the realm of fiction, a machine that can implant false memories seem more likely when you were faced with a machine that can read your memories.

Phoenix is currently having a dream where they're about to start a different loop all over again due to the fact they were so convinced they died when Zoraxis captured them. The conversation became did happen but the memory of the last time Zoraxis captured them overlapped, leading to another rewind.

I do not think I can write this story at the moment so if anyone wants to take the idea, please do so.

@phoenix-and-found-family , this is far from canon to my Phoenix since this is experimental but it could be an interesting read.

Also, this is far from edited. Whoops.

[fruityuncleskeletor]

I'm so sorry if I sound like a cunt right now but I have so much trouble empathising with rich people when they're "sad". And I get it, idol life sounds like it can be a nightmare half the time, but they know what they're signing up to. Most of us will never have this kind of opportunity in life, or even escape poverty with the way the world is. And sure, money can't buy true happiness but it sure as hell eliminates the vast majority of stressors that drive people into deep depression and gives access to all the treatments and meds that improve your condition. Maybe this makes me a horrible person but I'd much rather go through trauma and depression in a mansion being able to feed myself and my loved ones, all my bills paid on time, than struggle with depression as is plus the depression of having to choose between eating or paying rent. He could retire tomorrow and have his life set.

You know what? Your feelings are valid AND justified. I feel the same most of the time. Buuut... There's also a halo effect at work, surrounding celebrities - just because they are attractive and competent in one area, we tend to assume they are ethical people and in our minds, they can do no wrong. Their PR machine definitely works hard to confirm this biased view we hold of them.

My tags on the story video have just as much chance to be projection as they do to be a reflection of his emotions and intentions while posting that video. There was just something so endlessly sad to it - the fact that he is bare-faced and not smiling at all, and how he shifted the focus towards that one lonely insect in that tiny, mostly dry patch of flowers. It made me feel horrible because I forgot all about festival season and favourite bands and it reminded me that the bugs are fewer and fewer, we have no more seasons in Europe and the heat in the cities is making the elderly die in their homes. I have definitely said it before: I too would prefer to weep in a Ferrari than on a fucking bus. And I am a bigger, saltier cunt for thinking how easy it would be for celebrities to be vegan, to not wear fur and leather, to not work with corrupt brands, to tell people to really think it through before having kids they cannot afford to raise - and seeing that none of my faves are engaging in that. Because being famous and rich is more rewarding than being compassionate and using your platform to ACTUALLY change the world for the better by changing the people you touch with your art. But that stance can definitely coexist with compassion towards him. He could be my child, age-wise, and he seems to have a harder and harder time with the demands of celebrity. And even if he's feeling despair at the state of the world while dripped in Louis Vitty from head to toe, he would still get a hug from me. We're all trapped in this hell together and HE is definitely not the one who's keeping you and me poor and making the oceans boil. Oh and by the way: money doesn't buy happiness, but it definitely buys you the freedom you need to search for happiness. I'm definitely struggling right now, and feeling shame about it too. So we're not looking at things from that different of a perspective. By the end of this summer, all my friends will have seen SKZ live somewhere near them and I will feel really poor and left out. I can't even say, "fuck it! I won't have a future anyway, better live it up now" because I am too salty and it costs nothing to have my friends think I'm a fake fan for not traveling to another country and paying one month's paycheck to see men shaking their butts on a tiny-ass stage far away. So not engaging in that kind of sacrifice just to see my current obsession band is all I can afford right now.

[yukipri]

I joined Threads! Unfortunately my reach on Insta is still the most limited of all of my socials, and that’s the account Threads is directly attached to.

If you’re on either Insta or Threads, would love if you could stop by🙏

Direct linking to Threads doesn't seem to work...so here's

my Instagram

through which you can find my Threads account!

Edit: You actually can link to Threads, ironically through the icon at the top of individual Instagram account pages on desktop. Though Desktop viewing is currently limited to individual pages, and you can't necessarily scroll the feed. So here's my Threads page!

~~

Next, some initial thoughts on the platform for those who are kinda curious what this new thing is. Not at all an expert, just some info I've gathered myself, that I'd personally have liked to know before joining:

On Threads

・It launched July 5~6, 2023. Rollout varies by country.

・Twitter's already upset about it, apparently there's a lawsuit. So I guess it considers Threads a possible threat.

・It's run by Meta, same folks as Insta and Fb.

・The accounts are directly linked to Instagram, which has its pros and cons. You need an Insta account to make a Threads account, but if you already have an Insta account, it's very easy to make a connected Threads account. However, once linked, they're linked; you can't disable your Threads account without also disabling your Insta account. You can also automatically follow all the accounts you're already following on Insta, to be activated as they make Threads accounts. You can also share Threads posts to your Insta stories.

・Currently only on mobile app, hoping the'll make it desktop accessible soon

・The current audience mostly seems to be folks who have come direct from Instagram. This means yes, a lot of official/influencer accounts, but also a lot of artists/small creators too.

Functionality

・Right now, the "feed/dashboard" is a hot mess. It's just one massive algorithmic spew, no way to curate it, no way to see just the posts by the folks you're following, not even chronological. These are things that i personally require in a social media, so yeah it sucks rn. HOWEVER, they did state that they're working on a "followers only" feed, much like the one on Instagram. If they implement a Followers Only feed like Insta, it'll at least be much better than Twitter's current "Following" feed. There has been no timeline provided on when this may launch.

・It functions much the same as Twitter, with options to create new posts, and like, retweet, quote retweet, and reply to posts made by others. (There's still a lot of floundering about the exact terminology to use, since it's not twitter so you can't "retweet" etc)

・500 Character word limit per post, which is much more than Twitter, ey!

・Up to 10 images per post, doesn't seem to cause image quality reduction either. Rather than being able to arrange the images like on Tumblr though, they're all automatically in a carousel that you can see by swiping.

・Your bio can be the exact same as what's on your insta, but currently only shows followers. In order to see who you follow, you tap "followers" and then when the menu opens, swipe to "following." Then, you can tap on the individual accounts to view their pages. This is currently the only way to ensure you see the posts from certain accounts, because there's no guarantee they'll show up on your feed, and it's a huge pain. But again, they're hopefully working on a fix for this.

My understanding is that the app rushed to launch now, since Twitter is a dumpster fire and people are fleeing. (why is it a dumpster fire? Well, Musk implemented a randomly fluctuating tweet view limitation, which is dumb af, but means it's essentially become unusable to folks who use the platform a lot)

I'm hoping that there'll be improvements to Threads and it'll become a viable Twitter alternative, but until then...yeah we'll keep an eye on it.

Now that I've probably completely turned you off from downloading the app, if you do, a nudge that again I'd appreciate if you stopped by my account, YukiPri_Art on Instagram, and/or YukiPri_Art on Threads!