#and I don’t mean fight Radagon

[jack-o-cel]

“Unstoppable force is about to meet immovable object”

-me, before many MANY rounds of throwing hands with Messmer

[sadlazzle]

wow ok i rlly don’t like elden beast lol. that boss kinda sucks

[drenched-in-sunlight]

doing Rennala’s fight again and I feel like I’m going insane because in phase 1 her eyes are golden, but in phase 2 in the illusion Ranni conjures of her, her eyes are their original teal blue. it’s not hard to put two and two together that the egg bewitched her and made her deep in that slumber state. So what drives me up the wall is… why on earth none of her kids help her … ? or why are there no item description even hint at them trying to help their Mother out of that state? or just items suggesting a close tie between them in general ?

I don’t think being locked up in a library enchanted by an egg is doing her any favour. This isn’t even the same as Marika’s situation where none of her kids know she’s locked up inside the Erdtree to even come for her, I’m pretty sure all 3 Carian kids know Rennala’s current state.

Is it because she’d go insane if they take away the egg? Is it because they want her to remain in that state and out of their way? Ranni stated she’d not let Rennala’s slumber be disturbed… is it because the only other option is an even worse fate ??? Is it out of protection for her or something else ???? I mean it’s a pretty popular fanon that Ranni must have hated Radagon, but all the stuffs she did later on… lowkey adds to Radagon’s favour through and through ? Keeping Rennala in that state, killing Godwyn who is the only support Marika has left after Godfrey and Messmer are taken away from her, like… ???

And I’m not even wondering all of these because I think Ranni is secretly evil or self-serving (& even if she turned out to be so… it’s fine!), it’s just things are not adding up and I’ve got ppl asking why I don’t really draw the Carian side often and … this is why? Since I already figure out the motivation and story that make sense to me on Marika & her G + M kids… the fact that I don’t really get the R kids at all results in me having no idea how to portray them in my art? Because I don’t really buy into the popular “oh they all love each other and much more wholesome than the Erdtree side” take at all …(and tbh my hot take for the past 2 years or so is that I don’t think Rennala is a good mother, and after the DLC… a good sister at all. But it is what it is)

[sanasanakun]

I think my favorite part of the dlc’s final boss is how it (can) directly mirror your Tarnished, and by extension, their relationship with Ranni. Obviously, this is coming from me, your resident Ranni glazer who will make everything about her if I can, so please understand this is my interpretation. 

My interpretation is that Miquella/Radahn act as a foil to Ranni/Tarnished, specifically when it comes to the themes of love, consent, and freewill. Now, I know it’s up in the air about how consenual the pact between Radahn and Miquella is. Personally, I see it as non-consensual; Miquella resurrected and controls a puppet of Radahn and/or bewitched him to be his “promised consort.” Given the theme of control with Miquella, I don’t think FromSoft would turn that around on us at the last second. Radahn’s situation is meant to be the final nail in the coffin; a demonstration of what Miquella’s “love” exactly means. Total control over one’s entire self and mind. Anyway, I digress, let’s get into how I see their situation mirroring, and acting as the antithesis, to Ranni and Tarnished. 

First, we’ll examine Miquella and Radahn. Miquella is presented almost throughout the entire game as a beloved figure. He is literally called “Miquella the Kind,” and his actions at the Haligtree paint him as an even more heroic figure. A demi-god who wants to help the weak, the oppressed, and anyone in between who has been scorned by the Golden Order. As we discover in the DLC, Miquella wants to create an “Age of Compassion.” But there’s always a catch, and Miquella’s plan is no exception. Why? Because his new age would remove the free will of everyone by giving him total control of how they feel, act, etc. He’ll make them happy and at peace because they’ll have no choice; they’ll have no self. This is exemplified in literal form with Radahn. The relationship between the two brothers presents itself as a one-sided obsession on Miquella’s part. Though we don't know a ton about them together, I think it’s safe to theorize Radahn didn’t willingly go along with Miquella’s plan. Radahn is canonically a fan of the Golden Order given his admiration of Godfrey and his father, Radagon. I can’t see him wanting to disrupt the current way of things. Plus, I don’t believe Maleania and Radahn would stage a fake war just to get Radahn into a position where he could be resurrected via Mohg. Too many hoops to jump through, so Occam’s Razor says Radahn rejected Miquella. 

Now that’s great and all, but the real meat I want to analyze comes from the actual boss fight, or more specifically, the twos’ body language during the fight. Radahn is an empty shell. He doesn’t have any dialouge aside from small grunts. He doesn’t address us at all, which is entirely unlikely for how he’s been described. He’s a ferocious warlord who values the strength of both his allies and enemies. At the very least, he would address someone as prolific and talented as the PC Tarnished. Yet, he doesn’t. Radahn is literally there to act as “the muscle;” he is the strong and powerful lord that Miquella admired him to be. However, by making Radahn only act like this, Miquella has erased the true essence of what made Radahn. He lacks his soul. Miquella might be the more interesting of the two when it comes to body language. I think Miquella’s theme of control really shines with how he places himself on Radahn during the battle. He is literally draped over Radahn with his arms wrapped around his neck. Obviously, at first glance this is meant to imitate an embrace, solidifying the two as both a team and lovers. Yet, Miquella’s position doubles in meaning when considering his need to control. The arms could represent a collar, with Miquella acting as the leash. His hovering gives off a “helicopter” vibe (for a lack of a better term). While playing I called him a “helicopter parent,” comparing him to where they are constantly looking over your shoulder and trying to direct you. Essentially, Miquella is caging Radahn in his embrace, revealing his need to control the situation and Radahn himself. Miquella is the personification of control; he won’t allow free will to happen because he thinks it causes too much pain and uncertainties. And Radahn, he embodies the fate of those who would live under the Age of Compassion; he is a puppet. Specifically, he is Miquella’s puppet in both battle and love. He doesn’t have a choice in the matter at all. 

So, how is this the antithesis to our beloved blue wife and the Tarnished? Ranni doesn’t appear to help the Tarnished during their fight with the duo, which I’ve seen a few complain about. While I would love to fight alongside my support princess (and I have downloaded the mod lol), I think Ranni appearing would undermine the character FromSoft has established and her relationship with the Tarnished. Ranni is very hands off. She gives her vassals the tools to work with and then tells them to do what they wish with it. She never forces you to do anything you don’t want to. When you confront her about her role in the death of Godwyn, she willingly admits it and then asks you if you’d like to pledge service to her. She doesn’t say, “You know my secrets, therefore you will be in my service so I can keep an eye on you.” Instead, it’s a choice; a choice for someone far below her in class and power, but she gives it to you nonetheless. For Ranni, the ability to choose and live the way you desire is incredibly important. She seems to dislike outside forces messing with the ability to expereince life (as she says feel, see, taste, etc). 

Therefore, in the final battle with Miquella and Radahn, Ranni is there with you via the tools she’s provided and the faith she has in you (you can interpret this as her blessing with the “we will see each other once more”). She doesn’t need to be hovering over you, arms wrapped around your neck; she trusts the Tarnished above all else to succeed and fight for her. But should they choose not to, she’ll be heartbroken but she won’t stop you. As for the Tarnished, our character is not a shell of a person. They are someone teeming with ambition and the will to fight for their chosen successor. They fight because they want to be there and challenge whatever comes to face them; they don’t need Ranni telling them “go fight Miquella and Radahn for me pls.” 

Their “Age of the Dark Moon” also is the antithesis to Miquella’s “Age of Compassion.” Whereas his is about control, Ranni wants to remove all outer god influence from the world. She wants people to experience their lives without the intervention of any god; to experience life on their own terms, whether they want otherworldly guidance or not. She literally takes her order and leaves the planet (?) with it and you. 

Ok, that’s enough of me rambling about whatever the fuck comes to my sleep deprived mind. I have a flight to catch in three hours, so I’m gonna leave it here. In closing, Ranni good I love her very much mwah<3

[katyspersonal]

Hello, I hope you don’t mind me asking but I’ve always wondered what are your thoughts on Radahn?

I feel like he’s probably the most misunderstood character in the whole game at this point. I constantly see people trying to blame certain events on him (like the Leyndell siege) when there seems to be no evidence that he was even there. There’s the art of him fighting with Margit in the intro but in my opinion that doesn’t necessarily mean it took place outside Leyndell. It could have happened at Stormveil as we do know Radahn had beef with Godrick at one point. However, there is no sign of any Redmane activity on the battleground outside the capital.

This is also why I’m so confused at people who say he wanted to be a Lord when there’s nothing in his lore that says that. He idolizes Godfrey for his battle prowess, but that doesn’t mean he wanted to become a Lord like him. Another thing I see people say is that he was a warmonger, which again I find to be unfair to him as he is never stated to have started any wars. The only war he was a part of he didn’t start and only seemd to be defending himself from Miquella and Malenia who were hellbent on using him against his will. Sorry if this seems like rambling only it annoys me when people try to paint him as a bad person when the game literally tells us he was kind and probably the closest to being a decent Demigod when compared to his siblings

Hey, Anon! Thank you for this ask! I can actually agree with the general sentiment you are expressing! Though there is an idea I feel like actually works!

For example, it makes a lot of sense that he would have attacked Leyendell!

This is the image of Morgott fighting Radahn, right? And this is what Kenneth has to say about Godrick that addresses it:

Yes, it could seem as though this is just Morgott defending Godrick, but there is a seeming plothole as to who was responsible for the Second Defence of Leyendell then! Attack of Godrick and Godefroy triggered the First Defence of Leyendell, and seemed to have been an attempt to strike back after being driven out from their place by right:

Godrick only attempted to invade the capital once, and since then has been crashed! However, not only the 'Fell Omen' became associated with defending the Erdtree, so, the Elden Throne, but also the first time he got mentioned in history was during the Second Defence of Leyendell:

And while it's true that Morgott also defends Godrick, I feel like Kenneth would have made mention of it. Morgott also didn't defend him from Malenia, so everything goes honestly. He might have only started doing so because of the rows of Tarnished that could threaten the weak Demigod

Radahn admires Godfrey and the days of heroic battle glory associated with him, that's for sure! The days by now gone, replaced with a more "modern", scholarly vision of the Erdtree / Golden Order, the days that he yearns for. To think of it, he doesn't really have an ideological reason to attack Godrick, since the two want the same, admire the same and think the same! 🤔 However, he might have wanted to challenge him as he is the true heir to Godfrey, maybe not being aware that Godrick is incapable! Alternatively, Radahn might have simply wanted the Lordship, and getting rid of the competition!

Radahn and Godrick are, however, listed amongst traitors by Morgott all the same, when with Godrick we know he wanted the throne! He is very much what Morgott had wished at least one """proper""" Demigod would do, and yet? So this doesn't exclude Radahn from being like this. I think the "traitor" aspect here comes from the fact that both Godrick and Radahn wish for the Golden Order to no longer be what it is, they want to bring back the glory battle days of pre-Radagon era. Radagon is Golden Order and Golden Order is Erdtree, the seal would not open even if Morgott never resisted either of the attacks on Leyendell and put a red carpet path before them!

^^^ I also definitely don't think that it was Rykard who was responsible for the second attack on Leyendell! If anything, it seems that Morgott has shown the initiative to deal with his blasphemy to himself and sent his army on Mt. Gelmir after him!

So, Rykard was attacked first, Godrick and Godefroy only attacked Leyendell once, Malenia and Miquella certainly had no interest in it... This all only leaves Radahn as a good candidate for the second attack, and the image of Morgott kicking his ass that we see just helps! All in all, it is a reasonable assumption!

As for the "warmonger" part, I believe this must be the culprit:

It seems like it should be a plot twist, a subversion of what we had previously learned of Radahn, right...? But I'd rather say it is an effect of unreliable narrator! If I had to choose who must know Radahn more out of the two, I'd definitely choose Jerren!

Both were very close friends of Radahn, this is certain, and both basically got "adopted" by him from their previous lifestyle. But whereas Jerren was a lonesome, wandering kind of a guy that ended up admiring Radahn so much that he finally found something to hold dear by his side, Freyja already has been a gladiator and Radahn himself wanted such a brave and strong person in his army!

I think Freyja is acting impulsively from what she knows of Radahn. He was cool and he would for sure want to live again so he can keep fighting. She doesn't even seem to realise Miquella's world won't allow him to do endless wars, and says that endless war "befits" Radahn better! She doesn't state this is what he would have wanted, she specifically says it is... simply more badass? Is this it? x) It seems to be just her opinion. It is no much different in Japanese script:

ジェ���レン爺には悪いが、ラダーン将軍には、戦いこそが相応しい 名誉ある最期などよりも、ずっとな 終わりなき戦い、燃えるような戦い それでこそ、ラダーン将軍。それでこそ、獅子だ

Yes, whereas Radahn values a great fight more than anything, would the proud lion that he is really accept the humiliation of being cheatcoded away from his sworn death in a battle?

At the same time, whereas Radahn had an oath with Jerren of giving each other an honorable death, he also had a vow with Miquella to join him as a consort. 🤔 In Japanese, both the oath in description with Jerren and the vow with Miquella use the word 約束 (so, a promise, or one's word). ( x ) ( x ) If Malenia and Radahn fought, did that mean that Radahn already broke a promise once? Or the intention was that he would only be "reborn" through death in a battle, but it went wrong? But why it took such a long time to make sure he got defeated properly? Or maybe this promise never meant much for Radahn and he was just humouring young Miquella? Or a promise only existed in Miquella's head to begin with?

For example, Radahn started to study the gravity magic just so he could continue riding Leonard, but in the process became hungry for more and mastered it to the point of battling the stars themselves! It is certainly not out of character for him to change his mind in the process, so, to "grow out" of his promise with Miquella! He was younger, after all. But unlike an oath of "killing ourselves and getting married when we grow up :3", an oath of letting his friend die on a high note if something bad happens and receiving the same oath is NOT a thing the guy basing his whole personality on glory and honor would take lightly! I think what Freyja says is just the final nail in the coffin of Radahn's agency, even if she certainly doesn't have an ill intent...

Japanese text says it more like "they did not have" or "that they lacked", as well as calls them weak/fragile rather than afflicted:

幼き日、ミケラはラダーンに王を見た 脆弱な自分たちにはない、強さを そして優しさを

The "stark contrast" just makes them sound as if they were opposites of these traits, and it also doesn't work! The twins are far from weak and evil respectively! If anything, original text instead gives an impression of Malenia and Miquella not having this level of strength and kindness! There was a big gap rather than a complete absence, something to aspire to, especially if the twins were still little. It would actually be sweet if Malenia was inspired to grow up a strong warrior and Miquella was inspired to be as kind as possible all because Radahn gave them a good role model back then ;-;

______________________

In general, I think the assumption that he attacked Leyendell too is reasonable! He also certainly loves the battle and is at his peak when he challenges and conquers, as well as admires a guy responsible for a lot of territorial aggressions! Someone who lives to fight can be definitely addressed as a warmonger, and the whole sentiment of "missing good old days" that were not actually good but torn with wars and conquests can be rather uncomfortable for some people! Heck, I addressed him as a warmonger on multiple occasions! This is fair, but just like you said, he is definitely not the worst!

I'd also say that when you discuss fictional characters though, words like "warmonger", "tyrant", "fascist" etc are a good thing! Characters are just narrative tools to showcase a standpoint or to progress a story, and war criminal characters are able to showcase absolutely unique situations and mindsets! That is, it only works as long as the term truly applies to a character, and I am not always sure if it does with Radahn.

He is a good character and is definitely heroic from the internal logic of Elden Ring's standpoint, and he doesn't deserve the negativity he gets in the fandom! Mostly from the Twitbr side; ever since Redditors crowned him as their king, fans developed a reflexive repulsion by this character and kept acting like it was a valid way to engage with the story, and after SOTE he gets additional bashing for "stealing the spot" from Godwyn or Malenia or whatever! This is where acting like the statement of him being kind is some huge contradiction comes from

[wearepaladin]

I would like a second opinion on something, to get an internal gauge on my own biases from other people familiar with Soulsborne material. I kind of went on a tangent about this, so feel free to skip.

With the release of Shadow of the Erdtree, people have been comparing their favorite villains of the series and I’ve found myself looking in askance at people who call Marika Elden Ring’s villain. She’s certainly the most influential character in the story whose actions lead to the events our Tarnished find themselves in, and a legacy that created many of the enemies we face across the story, but also in turn has given us the means to be here and fight for how we decide the next step. We also never fight her directly, unless you count Radagon, but given that her other half is at cross purposes with her by strong implication, taking the form to combat us at the conclusion of the story. Given that I have no doubt Marika was equal or stronger than Radagon in matters of divine power or combat (the weapon he uses is explicitly her hammer after all), Radagon taking form after Marika being imprisoned/crucified says either Radagon was in agreement with The Elden Beast, The Beast chose the vessel of Radagon to do battle, or Marika, a deity with a history of war and at least one god (the fell god of the giants) bested personally just made her husbandsona fight us just because?

Don’t get me wrong, Marika can be attributed with many actions that would make her a villain in any story, genocide, oppression, conquest, etc. I just don’t see her as the villain/antagonist of our story, given that with both the guidance of grace and Melina, Marika’s daughter, is willing to go above and beyond to help us. The fact that we can continue to see grace even when Melina can choose to part ways with us permanently, and that we have so much freedom to do largely as we please, indicates that Marika might even be desperate enough to have us as her means of ensure death as her only means of release since either the destruction of her being (Ranni/Friendzied Flame) or the simple restoration of her fractured shell are the only consistent result across the endings.

I digress into the lore speculation: my point is that unlike the other prominent Soulsborne antagonists, Marika doesn’t invoke the same role as a villain in the story to me. Compared to a few prominent examples:

King Allant: Allant fulfills the category of villain and antagonist to us, given that he directly triggered the Demon Crisis of the story for out of nihilistic desire for mutual destruction, and we even face him twice, both as a demonic avatar and the corrupted remains of his physical being after we have nearly completely foiled his plans.

Lord Gwyn/Soul of Cinder: Probably the antagonist I have the strongest negative association for, since we’ve been dealing with the consequences of his actions throughout the trilogy and faced him in combat twice. And for me, as the story went from chapter to chapter, I tried to sympathize Gwyn, given that his physical portrayal is very paladinial and on the surface, trying to preserve the First Flame and all it represents. In our first battle with him, we even see the cost this has taken from him as he is essentially a hollow shell, a cinder of the former Lord of Sunlight. But as we progress through the series and learn more of the extent of his actions, Aldia’s description of him as the First Sinner, and the Ringed City dlc unveiling that the dark sign that forces humanity into undeath was his own creation, a literal brand upon our being, and that he still exists as the Soul of Cinder, his continued existence withering the world down to ash, burns away any desire to see him more than a villain.

Nashandra: Nashandra is a somewhat more traditional villain than many in this list as her motivations and methodology are something you could find in many stories, including Macbeth: The Wife of a powerful figure manipulates their partner into a position to either improve their power at the expense of others or to weaken them so their marital partner can betray and ascend at their expense, and Nashandra does both. Unlike other villains in this list, there is no grand metaphysical debate on the reason for her actions: she’s villain who wants power and utilized several methods to achieve it.

Aldia: Aldia is the other possible final boss of Dark Souls 2 and he’s certainly the more esoteric of the pair. In fact, like many things about Dark Souls 2, I consider him something of a prototype of concepts and characters we would later see in Elden Ring. Taking on the likeness of a bonfire and living in some undefinable state between life and death, Aldia made the plot of DS2 possible, given that he created the Emeral Herald who summoned us into the plot and his experiments and studies in the nature of the universe made the unique bubble of events and circumstances that Dark Souls 2 represents in the timeline, and largely I think if he did it intentionally it was so he could have someone to talk to about it. His role in the plot of the story reminds me of Marika, given that he’s doing much to help you achieve an ideal state, up to including other life forms to make it possible.

The Moon Presence: The most eldritch creature on this list, but hedges closer to Marika in their role on the plot given that its their influence that makes your success in the game possible, providing you with the Hunter’s Dream and the many benefits it provides, but like Marika we cannot ask it why it has done this, but unlike Marika we can choose to face it in combat by taking the correct path. In the more cosmic horror genre Bloodborne leans on, it’s less an antagonist and its existence is more along the lines of opening to a door to realize the eldritch truth you’ve accumulated is still the tip of the iceberg, and step through the door is be changed permanently and once more being rendered the least among creatures in the greater cosmos.

Laurence and Willem: Laurence is often brought up as the villain of Bloodborne, given a lot of what we face is due to him meddling with affairs man what was not meant to know, but he is not a ruling dominant force as a result, but trapped in microsm of the horror of the Bloodborne universe, being forced into a mindless burning husk of a monstrosity that only has enough awareness to be aware of what it has lost. His instructor Willem likewise has become a largely inert lump of flesh, his attempts at ascension turning him into a blind husk with eldritch growths. Both men had their own philosophy on how to achieve the Eldritch Truth, only to cause mass suffering and be rendered into husks of their former humanity, all their achievements to understand what should have never been disturbed making them ideal antagonists in a cosmic horror story because they are that horror turned upon humanity personified.

In other words, compared to these other characters and antagonists, Marika doesn’t fill the proper niche for me, and I worry that my own biases might be leading me to fail to see her as antagonist or villain. What do you think?

[blasphemousclaw]

thoughts on demigod daddy issues

I’m avoiding my responsibilities and my poll is proving controversial, so I thought I’d do my own writeup on each candidate:

Morgott: His dad presumably abandoned him in a sewer. Given Godfrey’s association with the crucible, I doubt it was Godfrey’s decision to confine the omen twins to the sewers and I have no doubt that he loved them, seeing Godfrey’s tender moment holding Morgott’s body. However, the twins ended up in that sewer nonetheless. Either Godfrey opposed this but didn’t fight for them hard enough, or he concluded it was for their own good. Still, Morgott defends the Erdtree like his father before him. Certified daddy issues

Mohg: Same backstory as Morgott, except we don’t get that poignant moment that we do with Godfrey and Morgott in the game. He seems to have abandoned everything Godfrey stood for anyway. Daddy issues present but not to the same extent as his brother

Miquella: For a while, he was daddy’s ultimate special golden boy. They crafted golden order fundamentalist incantations together as gifts for each other (and it’s never mentioned that Radagon did anything like this with his other children). He tried his very hardest to use the Golden Order’s teachings to heal his sister’s afflictions, but they ultimately could not save her and he turned his back on his father’s order. We don’t know how Radagon reacted, but based on his zealotry combined with his previous relationship with his son, there must have been a serious fallout. Certified daddy issues

Malenia: There aren’t any textual hints to her and Radagon’s relationship, but we can speculate. Her father’s order couldn’t heal her afflictions… did she feel like her father didn’t try hard enough for her? That he chose his own faith over her wellbeing? Subtextual daddy issues

Ranni: She probably despises her father for abandoning her mother and leaving her a broken husk; her mother, who was her greatest teacher and role model, who she protects and whose legacy and memory she continues to defend. On top of that, she despises her empyreanhood and wants no part of the Two Fingers’ designs. I wouldn’t be surprised if she blamed her father for the fingers’ hold on her fate, too. Certified daddy issues; however, she doesn’t seem to revel in any hatred for him and just does what needs to be done to realize her vision

Rykard: Mr. “Lord of Blasphemy,” son of Mr. “leal hound of the Golden Order.” You don’t dedicate your entire life to opposing everything your own father stands for, fight the “most appalling battle in the entirety of the Shattering,” feed yourself to the embodiment of treason against the Erdtree, or make it your goal to “devour the very gods” (god being your father’s counterpart), and not have some kind of daddy issues complex. There’s a potent and multifaceted dynamic here. The red feathers on the Gelmir knight helms might indicate a reverence for his father’s legacy. He worked alongside his father in enforcing the Golden Order’s rule of law. Yet he doesn’t seen to have ever held any personal loyalty to his father’s order, having planned to betray it long before he actually committed treason. He demonstrates affection for his mother, brother, and sister, but not his father. He lusts for his own power and independent authority, but echoes the violence carried out by his father in his own practices. What does his father mean to him? Is he a role model, or a tyrant, something to be destroyed and replaced? Or is he both? Certified implied daddy issues

Radahn: He inherited his famous red lion’s mane from Radagon, who was said to have hated his own red hair. He admires his father and his “heroic” legacy. Yet he walks around in Godfrey cosplay, seeking to emulate Godfrey’s legendary example on the battlefield. He doesn’t seem to have inherited Radagon’s love of the Erdtree, either. “I was born a champion’s cub. Now, I am the lord of the battlefield’s lion.” Though he admires his father’s strength, there seems to be a distance between them, a distance that has deepened his obsession with Godfrey as a role model. Did he feel under-appreciated by Radagon? self-conscious? abandoned? Certified daddy issues

Godwyn: We have no idea what his relationship to his father was. It is interesting that he takes a more reconciliatory approach to conflict than Godfrey, though.

Godrick: I don’t think we technically know who his direct father is; I think it’s likely he’s further down the line of Marika’s descendants rather than being a direct son of someone like Godwyn. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have some of the most potent issues with the legacy of his forebears in the game. He’s obsessed with living up to the legacy of the golden lineage, so much so that he steals other people’s limbs to make himself stronger. He constantly references Godfrey; his axe is an homage to him. “Great Godfrey, didst thou witness?” Everything he does is to make himself into what he believes to be more worthy of his lineage. Certified “daddy” issues. yes this still counts to me

[house-of-spamdini]

Elden ring bosses actually have it coming (by “it” I mean me spamming L1 with dual katanas)

Godrick gets points for being a little petty little freak but immediately loses them for the grafting. “But you don’t choose your disability” well you DO choose to flee the country during the war your family caused then come back, forcibly remove body parts of the still living, and slap said body parts all over your back. it could never be enough Ricky. should have spent all those years leveling vigor instead. suck my flame sling.

Mesmer was abandoned by his mommy? aww. git fucking gud snake boy. she never cared about you in the first place, you were just a tool for eradicating the hornsent. ripping your eye out was the one smart move you ever made, too bad you did it at the literal last second. you could never be gwyndolyn. die mad, twink.

Radagon tried to keep the order together? lmao you couldn’t even keep your family together dude. now check out this prelate’e hammer. also genocide.

I feel a little bad for rennala but not bad enough to stop stabbing her and he stupid wolves. At least the carian knights are kinda cool.

Morgott’s mom was a colonizer and how does he deal? ruling the “kingdom” in her place by *checks notes* ensuring no one can make any changes to the explicitly broken world we find ourselves in. you should have listened to your brother you please-love-me-mommy ass GEEK.

Miquella IS a monster, the internet just loves androgynous war criminals. come on how is everyone not more freaked out by him wielding love as a weapon. that shit is ~vile~

Radahn’s vibes are just bad, I feel like he says slurs.

Ranni too tbh. yeah yeah she’s not a boss and at least she isn’t trying to be Marika 2 but just awful vibes.

Mohg beat the allegations so I’m proud of him but wait, what is a dynasty of blood exactly? is…is that good? do we want that…?

Adding on any bosses that are servants, henchmen, stewards, or any other capacity of sidekicks to the demigods. fuck all of you. the shattering is canonically BEYOND stupid and each and every one of you had a choice not to participate. I cast power word R1 R1 R1 L2

And while we’re at it fuck the erdtree avatars, fuck the tree spirits, fuck all that noise. If I could sit and plink damage the erdtree itself to 0hp I would. FUUUUUUUCK the greater will.

Horah Loux, you’re really cool but you lost this fight the second you stepped into the ring with me. and you killed your best friend for what? another health bar? yeah buddy I’ll be taking that one too.

And Marika. Marika, Marika. you rewrote the laws of reality, gave all your kids nukes and told them “lol figure it out” girlie we should have left you up on that cross. like imagine being such a girl failure that you double, triple, quadruple down on genocide. my only regret is that I wasn’t the one who stabbed you with your Jesus spear.

Wormface is fine though keep doing you baby girl

[queen-lich-dumb-bitch]

I mean I had to do this eventually. I won’t rank all of them because there are SO many, but here is the Top 20. Enjoy!

Top 20 Best From Software Boss Fights In Order

Malenia, Blade of Miquella- She wins. I can’t help but to put her here for a myriad of reasons. Aesthetic, difficulty, arena, moveset, rewards, the practice you need? She makes me happy for reasons the rest of this community will NEVER understand.

Sister Friede & Father Ariandel- The most stressful stamina fight you will EVER do in these games. Three consecutive boss fights that were all built to test how well you can manage your own healing with different strategies tailored to each section. Friede still scares me to this day and I love her for it.

Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower- Probably the easiest boss fight I’ll put on this list, but frankly, this fight is glorious. Truly, such an entertaining fight and yet she still keeps me on my toes.

Darkeater Midir- I still maintain this as the ONLY perfect dragon fight in all of FromSoft’s entire menagerie. No one else even holds a candle to this legend. Not Fortissax, not Kalameet, not Placidusax. Midir takes their crown without even a contest.

Knight Artorias- This man STILL kicks my ass. DS1 didn’t really age well in terms of difficulty, but Artorias still demonstrates to this day that his greatsword can find its way down my throat easier than most bosses.

Slave Knight Gael- Truly one of the more satisfying wins on this list. I always feel accomplished when I beat this man at the end of DS3 and his entire story is probably one of the better lore entries in the Souls Narrative.

Dancer of the Boreal Valley- My favorite base game boss bar none. Aesthetic and difficulty and the best outfit in the game.

Sword Saint Isshin- Truly a gorgeous fight. Scale plus difficulty AND a great ending to Sekiro.

Ornstein and Smough- No explanation needed. The original gank fight and nothing has ever come close since.

Orphan of Kos- I shouldn’t like this scrawny heathen, but fuck if he’s not one of two reasons I crawl my ass back through this game time and again.

Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy-Dude says 15 words the entire game and his voice lines have been etched into my skull. Plus, his fight is cinematic as hell and he gives me serotonin.

Demon Princes-The closest FromSoft came to matching O&S in gank fights. Unique mechanic and the bosses’ design was actually super dope. Entertaining every time.

Genichiro- This man taught me how to play Sekiro single-handedly by kicking the shit out of me until I understood. Easy fight now, but he needed to be included.

Gravelord Nito- I don’t have an explanation for this one. I shouldn’t like him, but here we are.

Mohg, Lord of Blood- Very creative boss fight and his music is dope. An underrated yet VERY satisfying boss fight to win if you take him down by yourself.

Radagon of the Golden Order- Checks all of the boxes in my humble opinion. He also has great lore and his physical design is incredible to look at. Plus I gotta respect the dude for putting his hammer through my skull. Every. Single. Time.

Guardian Ape- This fucker forced me to play like Dark Souls in Sekiro. After all that work learning from Genichiro, this punk had the audacity to make me relearn everything. Respect.

Quelaag- You know why she’s here. Don’t act like you don’t. We love her and we respect her.

The Nameless King- Hours of work paid off when I learned to beat this dude. My level of play skyrocketed when I learned how to beat this guy. Everything became so much easier after I learned how to successfully kick this guy’s ass on command and I’ll forever respect him for it.

Owl (Father)- An ADHD nightmare, but one of the more satisfying victories in Sekiro. He also is a good punching bag to empty out the disdain I carry for my own father and my father can’t even throw shuriken.

[valkyurii]

Is it just me or is the relationship between Malenia and Her Teacher, The blind swordsman not talked about Enough? The dude basically sealed away an outer god and when it showed back up in the body of a demigod child not only did he not kill her he took it upon himself to train her. Did they go on misadventures together? Did he show her the lake of rot underground? Do they still keep it touch lol? Their relationship is honestly underrated and it sucks we don’t know more about them

Hello anon, sorry for the late reply!

Yeah it is strange that we don’t know much about this guy. He must have been something though considering he was strong enough to banish and seal away an Outer God. I wonder how easy or difficult a feat that was to pull off? I’ve seen theories that he could have been one of the Nox which I find quite interesting, especially as the Nox Monk and Swordstress both use the same dodge and sidestep animations Malenia uses. I love the idea that he too would do that and she picked it up while training with him. I always imagine the two of them being a little like Syrio Forel and Arya Stark from Game of Thrones which I’m sure they took some inspiration from. After learning about him and the whole ‘water dancing’ thing it definitely stood out to me.

But something else I also wonder about is the God of Rot itself. Does it have a physical form? I mean I assume so, but I often wonder what it might look like. I’ve seen a few people depicting it as a giant scorpion creature before, mainly because of the Scorpion Stinger weapon found in the Grand Cloister. The description on the weapon certainly makes it sound that way at least.

So yeah, this guy battles a giant scorpion god and wins, sealing it away somewhere only for it to later return in the form of a curse within Malenia. And yet, like you said, he doesn’t kill her and instead chooses to helps her. Maybe he couldn’t bring himself to kill an innocent girl over something that’s not her fault and also out of her control, so instead he teaches her how to control her affliction.

I also wonder when they could have met? Malenia’s described as being a young girl in the Prosthesis-Wearer Heirloom description, so I’m guessing she was possibly in her teens. The timeline is, well, non-existent really so I would guess that she and Miquella were still living in Leyndell at that time. I’m not entirely sure when they left and moved to the Haligtree. So if she were living in the capital did he seek her out or was he summoned by Marika? Probably the former, but I do wonder if Marika and Radagon ever spoke with him at all. I know it’s popular among the fandom to think her parents don’t care about her, but memes aside I like to think they were at least doing something to try and help her.

The two of them may very well have travelled together a little. He could have taken her out to see the world and put her new skills to the test as part of her training. I'm not really sure if she's ever been to the Lake of Rot though, only because if the Outer God itself is buried down there somewhere then there's a chance Malenia being within close proximity could result in disaster. I don't fully understand the extent of the God of Rots influence on Malenia, but if there's a chance being close to it could have it take over and control her in some way then perhaps it would be better to keep her out of it's reach. I don’t know exactly the extent of it's influence on her like I said, but given that with each bloom Malenia loses part of herself, part of her identity, and starts to take on a new personality (the Goddess of Rot), and that she has to constantly fight off it’s presence, then I imagine if given half a chance it most likely would take control of her.

And as for if they keep in touch, well I guess that depends on whether he’s still around. If he’s mortal then he could well be dead from old age by now. But then again I’m not really sure what the life span of some of these characters are. There are some who think Miquella and Malenia for instance are in their 20’s and then there are those who think they are a few centuries old, so I guess it’s all up for the individuals interpretation. Maybe he is still around and every year he stops by the Haligtree on the twins birthday to give them a gift, and like wise she sends him a card of Father’s Day because lord knows he was probably a better father to her than Radagon was lol

Overall though I do feel he is a little underrated and I would love to learn more about him. Who knows maybe in the future they will do a comic series much like they are doing for Bloodborne and he might feature in one. His story is definitely an interesting one and ties in directly with one of the main characters after all.

Thanks for the message anon, hope you are well and are having a nice day!

[miquellah]

heaven and earth and the vitruvian man. heaven is the empyrean (lit what that means) and then earth is the consort. the consort (or at least radagon) presumably starts out as… not a god or from that direct lineage. ohhh

marika being a shaman = connected to spirituality and heaven, radagon being connected to aspects of war and strength and uhh… the giants… earth

miquella being an empyrean and is found at the very very highest reaches of the map, whereas trina is found deep deep deep below. miquella is also associated with nascence, whereas trina is associated with sleep and by association, death

anyway yeah both combining equals a Full Actualized Form hence the rebis etc

tho again i do think its notable how both marika and miquella started out w their first consorts not even being part of their rebis halves. (also notable or at least interesting, miquella and consort radagon pair would include a child from each godly union— miquella from marika/radagon, radahn(‘s soul) from radagon/rennala, and mohg(‘s body) from marika/godfrey)

personally, i don’t feel like every ritual of divinity would’ve required a consort soul/vessel situation; this feels very specific to miquella’s circumstances, especially notable to the fact mohg was only killed by us in the end, not exactly a plan set in motion by miquella there (tho maybe we were just there before leda after all)

NONETHELESS. godfrey being a consort/vessel situation is interesting but again i don’t rly believe so personally. his identity split is in being godfrey/hoarah loux, which seems pretty well covered in his base lore and fight. also no horns on him if a hornsent is required etc (+ the sap thing ppl keep pointing out is notably only After marika has already become god)

oh suddenly this got long. take my thoughts

[goji-pilled]

MK-S: I had a thought about Rellana and Rennala; First, it helps us to establish a timeline of the Crusade in the Realm of Shadows. It likely occurred after Rennala married Radagon and before he left her, as their two nations were only allies during that timeframe, and the Carians would have had no reason to send in troops prior to them being on the same team.

Second, now that I think about it, this also does imply that Messmer is not a child of Marika and Radagon, as Rellana wouldn’t have joined after Rennala lost her mind with grief. (I think this implies he’s of Marika and Godfrey, but then I realized there’s a non-zero chance of Rennala and Radagon, and there’s uncomfortable precedent on the implications I won’t detail further.)

Third and final, I wonder if Rellana leaving contributed to Rennala’s breakdown when Radagon left her? It became more than just her lover leaving her to another, it’s that she let her own sister go to fight in his war, never to be seen again, in a land that was removed from the historical record, and then he leaves her. And now that I think about it, the palace thrones for the demigods may imply he had the children come with him. So Rennala lost all her family to this man, and all he left her with was a Great Rune in an amber egg. Plus, (I also just realized) this is probably around the time the knights of the Cockoo rebelled against the academy. So yeah, very tragic timing, all things considered.

Oh, another tragic thought: I wonder if Ranni came to visit, but Rennala was too far gone to recognize her? I don’t really think so, but the idea is interesting.

Hope these were fun to read and think about.

there's a person on twt i follow thats really into marika and messmer and concluded its very likely messmer is marika's, and only marika's, precious first born child from before she was queen to begin with. as he is literally described as marika's son without any mention of the queen title.

(which would mean melina was very likely marika's second born child even before godfrey, since she is the only sibling whose directly refrenced as being messmer's sibling)

he also seems to be the only of her children aware of her past and her wish for revenge, as he begins the whole crusade in the land of shadow for her and he seems to take care of the jars in the shadow keep.

as far as when the crusade happens... i'd say its probably between when radagon left (since messmer was described to having been like a big brother to radahn so there was a relationship), but definitely before the shattering. which would add up with the idea rellana leaving to join him possibly contributing to rennala's declining state.

which btw, i think its entirely possible that much like how the fireknights chose to stay with messmer despite being shunned by their (high ranking) families in leyndall, that some of the carian forces may have just decided to follow rellana, as castle ensis seems to be the only place where carian forces can be found.

or maybe im just forgetting something.

[lamplore]

Great post OP! This recontextualizes things in a way I find pretty compelling. I think I can add a bit of supporting evidence too. This gets a bit long, but turns out there’s actually quite a bit to say ;)

Firstly, there’s the Remembrance of a Lord and a God, which reads:

> “In their childhood, Miquella saw in Radahn a lord. His strength, and his kindness, that stood in stark contrast with their afflicted selves. And so Miquella made his heartfelt wish. That Radahn would one day be his king consort.”

I had been assuming that the ‘they’ in question here was Miquella and Malenia, or even Trina, though neither of them appear in the description. However, if Radahn was afflicted with something too, then a new meaning emerges. Miquella admired Radahn when they were both children, because of Radahn’s ability to be strong and kind in spite of his own affliction, not only because Miquella himself was cursed.

What would Radahn have been afflicted with? It’s not clear, but he does have some unusual traits. OP points out his skin and eyes, and I’ll add that it’s also possible that he is missing quite a bit of the natural hair he seems to have had in his youth. That could be meaningless, but I thought it was worth a mention given how many braids the Young Lion has.

There’s also the matter of his size. Radahn is abnormally large compared to the other demigods, almost monstrously so, and this also seems to be unrelated to Malenia’s rot. According to his Rememberance, he learned gravity magic so that he “would never have to abandon his beloved but scrawny steed.” While this is pretty sweet, I’m hesitant to believe that it was ALL for Leonard. We also know that Radahn uses his magic to protect Sellia by conquering the stars, so maybe there was another use. Maybe his body was, because of disease, curse, or some other affliction, becoming harder to control, and the gravity sorceries helped him to overcome this. It’s worth noting that the swords we obtain from Consort Radahn scale equally with Strength and Dex, while his Scarscourge Greatswords scale almost entirely with Strength alone. As if his Dexterity was lost over time, maybe due to his size and Strength.

Lastly, some character stuff. So, according to Jerren’s armour and hood, he swore “an Oath of Honourable Death” with Radahn when they met at Caria Manor, then became a guest commander for the Redmanes. Why would Radahn need someone sworn to see to his honourable death, unless he knew he might lose himself one day? I don’t think this can be explained by him knowing that he would fight Malenia and end up afflicted with Scarlet Rot either, because Malenia’s rot was sealed by Miquella’s Needle until she broke it to bloom in Caelid in a desperate attempt to defeat Radahn. Before that, the Rot was sealed away deep underground; I doubt anyone would have known it had the power to drive people to madness. Maybe Radahn was already going mad. Maybe it was the reason he loved war and battle so much, or maybe his love of war nurtured bloodlust in him. Hard to say.

The more I think about it, the more it seems like Radahn had all these contingencies in place because he knew he was losing control of his body and mind. But why? Was it his Great Rune? The narrator does say the demigods were corrupted by “the mad taint of their newfound strength triggered the Shattering” when Radahn appears in the intro cutscene, but if he only started to go mad then, the timeline gets wonky. Was it something to do with some potential Fire Giant or Crucible heritage via Radagon, depending on what you believe his deal was?

Regardless of what Radahn’s affliction was, I think it may have contributed to his idolization of Godfrey, whom he seems to worship more than his own father (though, Radagon’s a bit of a deadbeat). Godfrey “took the Beast Regent Serosh upon on his back to suppress the ceaseless lust for battle that raged within,” as we see when we fight him. Without Serosh to keep him genteel, Godfrey is a force of nature, covered in blood, able to rip our chest open with his bare hands. Interestingly, Miquella on Radahn’s back is almost exactly a mirror of Serosh on Godfrey’s. Maybe he played a similar role in surprising Radahn’s “ceaseless lust for battle,” whatever it’s source may have been.

I find it pretty compelling that Radahn was so close with Messmer and Gaius because they were all afflicted in some way. You could even call it a bit of a hint, though, why they wouldn’t tell us directly about Radahn’s mystery war god disease, I’m not sure. It is pretty in character for Fromsoft though, especially when they seem to want Miquella’s whole plan to be interpretable from a number of different directions.

Anyway, that was more than I expected to write lol. Thanks for the post OP! This is one of my favourite ways to read Radahn, alongside the idea that he’s just a spirit summon/puppet in the end, “reliving his battles past.”

Also note that Radahn’s eyes never take on the unalloyed gold hue that Mohg’s do under the charm.

hey about the vow made to radahn?

i had a moment of red string insanity while, as i have been since the dlc dropped, thinking about the motivations and agency of radahn.

(please tell me i'm not the only one stumbling into this hypothesis)

i've been long pondering about gaius, radahn's older brother figure, being an albinauric, one of the opressed people miquella is trying to save. and how he is stated to be cursed from birth, cursed people being also part of miquella's motivations.

i am in the camp that miquella has good intentions, but desperation has driven him to extreme methods. the "he is controlling everyone, nobody is willing!!" angle doesn't sit right with me. frankly, it makes for a less impactful story. it makes things convoluted, where seeing miquella as someone with limited power and a lot of his moves as scrambling to recover from setbacks makes sense. everything didn't go down as planned, there were things out of his control.

so. radahn. he promised to be miquella's consort, for better or worse. what did miquella vow to him?

i considered it, but wanting gaius to be saved doesn't feel like enough motivation for him. or if it was, would the man who learned gravity magic to keep riding his beloved horse decide to abandon his sworn brother so that he can, what, go hog wild in the shattering war?

but thinking about gaius made me think of albinaurics. lack of feet. being cursed from birth. radahn lacks his feet during the festival. that's not anything, scarlet rot rots away limbs all the time.

but scarlet rot doesn't turn your skin gray and sclera black.

marika's children are prone to being born cursed. cursed to be taken over by entities. losing their minds.

it's hard to find a sensible reason for radahn and malenia to have fought. two possibilities i've seen before are 1) radahn wasn't on board with the plan (likely had broken out of miquella's charms and control) so malenia was sent to bring him back in line 2) for some reason, miquella specifically needed him to die and be resurrected, and all the weird circumstances are somehow part of the same plan and make sense for reasons we just can't know but trust me bro they do.

it's interesting that in the story trailer, in radahn's and malenia's fight, radahn's face is shown only for a split second.

gray skin. black sclera.

was radahn, too, cursed from birth?

was he doomed to be overtaken, to lose himself?

had he lost his mind long before he was afflicted with scarlet rot? had he turned into a scourge, and not much else, before he and malenia fought?

did malenia see herself in him? did she want to give him the death he would have wanted? did she want to help him keep a promise he wouldn't have wanted to break?

did miquella vow to save him, like he did the albinaurics, like he did malenia?

[voidpumpkin]

y’know i don't think he quite understood what the point of the tarnished were

the purpose of the tarnished was to grow ever stronger with resurrective immortality meaning they could grow powerful by fighting forces more powerful than them. Hoarah Loux when we meet him is the strongest he’ll ever be.

The only bosses that would qualify as ‘not in their prime’ are: Elden Beast (dealing with the after effects of the shattered elden ring and the burning of the Erdtree) Radahn (reduced to a beast by the scarlet rot) Malenia (perpetually hindered by the scarlet rot) Fire Giant (broken leg) Placidusax (just look at him) Radagon (just look at him too) Rennala (a psychological wreck with her second phase is just an illusion) and Morgott (was able to go toe to toe with prime radahn)

[mistleaneous-chaos]

Elden Ring: Ranking the Demigods because fuckit.

Elden Ring Spoilers btw

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First is Godfrey’s side of the family

Godrick: 7/10. He’s a flamboyant rat that is literally the most pathetic being in the world, but he’s got daddy, grandaddy, and great grandaddy issues that honestly? Kinda bump up his characterization for me

Godwyn: 5/10. I missed the stuff with him on my first playthrough and will update this when I’m done with the quest involving him. He gets 5 points because he was cool and made friends with a dragon according to the dragon cult prayerbook

Mohg: 3/10. You get angst, you get a cool design, you get one of the coolest fights in the game, and you get fucking OUTER GOD LORE… And then you fumble it all by trying to become your half-brother (who looks like a child)’s consort. Goddamit Mohg

Morgott: 10/10. Dude gets amazing characterization from his remembrances and just as much, if not more angst than Mohg. With this bad boy you get a cool early boss in which you learn timing in a method meant to beat souls games-mentality out of you, you get a cool staff AND sword, and you get probably the one of the least corrupted/evil demigods in the game, because instead of going to war he just kept his dad’s seat warm. Morgott, you rule

Now for the part with divorce: It’s time for the R’s, ladies and gents.

Ranni: 10/10. Not only does she marry you, she gives you the FromSoft sword at the end of her quest. She’s also got 4 hands so you know what that means: 4 arms for hugs and cool handshakes. Also? She has Blaidd as a half-brother and Iji as a childhood friend, and then they become your friends. So really just great all around…. Just-just ignore that stuff with Godwyn, don’t worry abo- i saID DONT WORRY-

Rykard: 6/10. Cool snake man, funny voice, not much lore besides that. He’s also Ranni and Radahn’s brother so, that bumps him up a bit. Kinda made me scream “WHAT THE FUCK” when I saw his stomach face so that gives him some points. Average Atheist child of divorce.

Radahn: 10/10. Managed to stay a good person in spite of his mother loving an egg more than him and his dad leaving. Learned Gravity Magic to keep his horse from feeling his weight. Had a good rapport with his men. Managed to keep up with Malenia in spite of not having an Empyrean like her. Protected his horse from the rot instead of himself. Named his horse Leonard and still protects him to this day. What’s there to NOT LIKE ABOUT HIM?

And now onto the 2 Empyrean Children of Marika/Radagon

Miquella: 5/10. Don’t know enough about him to give him more points, he only gets 5 because he made the Haligtree which is a very beautiful area as a whole. Hopefully we’ll get more dlc with him

Malenia: 9/10. A fuckin’ VALKYRIE DUDE. Literally has Sephiroth’s Octoslash. Aesthetically one of the more beautiful and elegant characters with badass armor and an awesome prosthetic arm. Point docked because she gave us Caelid and those fucking TYRANNODOGS.

[elden-schwing]

HC Hour

It’s that time again. So I’ve been turning human!Morgott, or more accurately numen!Morgott, or even more accurately half-numen-half-whatever-the-fuck-Godfrey-is-but-that's-a-little-verbose-even-for-me-so-let's-just-go-with-numen!Morgott[1] (aka the de-cursified version of him we see lying on the ground after his Leyndell fight, except, like, less shriveled and dying) around in my head for more than a month now and I am way overdue to post some relevant content. Baby steps, though, or like my dad used to say “eat the elephant one bite at a time” (???) so let’s begin with some quick-and-easy headcanon: After a long, convoluted side-quest[2] that makes Ranni’s deal look like a fatpants trip to the gas station, you unlock the bestest and most secretest ending wherein you ascend Morgott to godhood and become his Elden Lord (and also his shadow in a total power couple move, but I digress). This ascension happens as he lays dying at the foot of the Erdtree, right before the game’s final boss(es). Why is Morgott dying at the foot of the Erdtree, right before the final boss(es)? Dramatic effect, my friend. We're taking a fresh approach, here. Maybe he leapt in heroically to save his beloved (that’s you) from Godfrey in an epic father-son duel and got clapped as a result. Maybe he stepped on a Lego. Who can really say? I mean, you, probably, since you were there, but whatever the case, you have a tender, heart-wrenching scene where you cradle his newly-numen form in your arms because The Greater Will has finally rewarded him for his centuries of faithful, utterly selfless devotion with the ultimate dick move of removing his omen curse only once he’s too dying to notice.[3] That’s right, best boy isn’t even aware of the change to his body—in his final moments, all he sees is you. It’s so fucking sad the sky itself starts crying, otherwise known as rain. Anyway, Morgott dies and you are understandably upset, but instead of coping with your grief in a healthy manner you choose violence and proceed to absolutely wreck Radagon’s shit and then use his man-skirt to spank the Elden Beast like that pudgy kid at the pool. You Win. You win and in a moment of pure self-indulgent petulance you punt Marika’s head off into the dark somewhere because Fuck That Bitch.[4] Then you carry(?) the Elden Ring back to the tragically handsome corpse of your husbando and jam it in there somehow and sit back to enjoy a miraculous-revival cinematic so dazzling and formulaic that it puts Disney to shame. You understand, now, where the budget for the boss tuning went, and why we couldn’t afford a quest log. And Godefroy. “Worth it,” you breathe in quiet awe. Congratulations. Morgott has become Hot. Actually, he was always hot, but now he’s a god so it’s capitalized and also he’s not an omen anymore. Tears run freely down your face and you can’t tell if they’re tears of joy or tears of abject sorrow as the monster fucker in you mourns the loss of his horns and tail and thirteen-inch knotted penis. In fact, that internal wailing that you assumed was your soul is actually the Midsommer-esque communal cry of monster fuckers everywhere. But don’t despair, I’m sure we can make up some bullshit reason why he’s able to shift back and forth like a big old skrunkly werewolf. So exactly how Hot is numen!Morgott? Well, if you’ve ever started a brand new save file, speedran to Leyndell and fucking murdered him just so you could use the Spread Out gesture next to his cadaver for the purpose of comparing model sizes, you’ll notice the man is still huge. He may not be omen-huge, but he towers over you all the same. Furthermore, ascension to godhood has rejuvenated him. Somewhat. His physique is neither swole nor spindly, and while athletic and firm, he certainly isn’t shredded enough to have a six-pack (unless that’s your kink in which case absolutely go off based king). His body retains the faintest hint of old man droopiness that he had as an omen, along with a proliferation of hair (treasure trail stans rise up) which, like the lush mane on his head, if compared against a sheet of paper, is revealed not to be wholly white, but a very pale shade of platinum blonde. You know what, though? Let’s just go ahead and say he has greys sprinkled in there too because gotta fuck geezers. Anyhow, the real question we should be asking here is: Does Morgott manscape? To which I can only reply: I don’t know my friend, does he? You tell me. [1] Oh my gosh what if we called him NuGott? Which sounds vaguely like nougat? Which all good-taste-havers know is objectively the best candy? [2] More on this later. [3] Now that I think about it if he dies in your arms as an omen we can just straight-up lift that dope transformation sequence from Beauty and The Beast (1991). I don't know which I like better. Shit. Fuck. [4] Once he’s done freaking out about his new body, Morgott, ever the dutiful son, will want to put his mum’s head back on her body. What happened to it? You have no idea. It’s not here? So weird. You help him look for it, though.