#George RR Martin writes those kinds of characters flawlessly

[house-of-spamdini]

Elden ring bosses actually have it coming (by “it” I mean me spamming L1 with dual katanas)

Godrick gets points for being a little petty little freak but immediately loses them for the grafting. “But you don’t choose your disability” well you DO choose to flee the country during the war your family caused then come back, forcibly remove body parts of the still living, and slap said body parts all over your back. it could never be enough Ricky. should have spent all those years leveling vigor instead. suck my flame sling.

Mesmer was abandoned by his mommy? aww. git fucking gud snake boy. she never cared about you in the first place, you were just a tool for eradicating the hornsent. ripping your eye out was the one smart move you ever made, too bad you did it at the literal last second. you could never be gwyndolyn. die mad, twink.

Radagon tried to keep the order together? lmao you couldn’t even keep your family together dude. now check out this prelate’e hammer. also genocide.

I feel a little bad for rennala but not bad enough to stop stabbing her and he stupid wolves. At least the carian knights are kinda cool.

Morgott’s mom was a colonizer and how does he deal? ruling the “kingdom” in her place by *checks notes* ensuring no one can make any changes to the explicitly broken world we find ourselves in. you should have listened to your brother you please-love-me-mommy ass GEEK.

Miquella IS a monster, the internet just loves androgynous war criminals. come on how is everyone not more freaked out by him wielding love as a weapon. that shit is ~vile~

Radahn’s vibes are just bad, I feel like he says slurs.

Ranni too tbh. yeah yeah she’s not a boss and at least she isn’t trying to be Marika 2 but just awful vibes.

Mohg beat the allegations so I’m proud of him but wait, what is a dynasty of blood exactly? is…is that good? do we want that…?

Adding on any bosses that are servants, henchmen, stewards, or any other capacity of sidekicks to the demigods. fuck all of you. the shattering is canonically BEYOND stupid and each and every one of you had a choice not to participate. I cast power word R1 R1 R1 L2

And while we’re at it fuck the erdtree avatars, fuck the tree spirits, fuck all that noise. If I could sit and plink damage the erdtree itself to 0hp I would. FUUUUUUUCK the greater will.

Horah Loux, you’re really cool but you lost this fight the second you stepped into the ring with me. and you killed your best friend for what? another health bar? yeah buddy I’ll be taking that one too.

And Marika. Marika, Marika. you rewrote the laws of reality, gave all your kids nukes and told them “lol figure it out” girlie we should have left you up on that cross. like imagine being such a girl failure that you double, triple, quadruple down on genocide. my only regret is that I wasn’t the one who stabbed you with your Jesus spear.

Wormface is fine though keep doing you baby girl