#and I don’t know how to cope
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it was my birthday yesterday and i got the long big jellycat dragon as a gift and she’s literally the light dragon but in green, she’ll be my most prized possession always
#i’m so sorry for not using tumblr i recently unexpectedly lost my dog and it’s been devastating#and i don’t know how to cope#i hope you’ve all been well i miss using tumblr#i’ll be back hopefully more now#and i’m sorry for the lack of art it’s been hard to find the motivation#kiki.txt
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Why does nobody tell you how much worse dysphoria gets when you’ve finally come to terms with yourself
#I’ve known I was some flavor of trans since I was 12ish#and over the years the way I’ve felt and identified and the terms I’ve used#etc etc#have changed a LOT#but through it all there’s been this level of uncertainty#of ‘I don’t think I’m quite there yet’#like something was off#and over the last few months that’s very much changed#I’ve never felt so secure in my identity before#I’ve never felt so secure in what I want with my transition before#and part of me is afraid I’m going to lose this certainty#but also im not certain I will#like this feels right for the first time ever#and the worst part about it is that#with that#my dysphoria is so much worse than it ever has been before#it physically hurts#and I don’t know how to cope#I keep telling my girlfriend like#I feel like I’m reaching my breaking point#like I’m just going to snap#and not in like a suicidal way#but in a like. I’m about to just start yelling about it to all the people I haven’t told yet#to just do something rash that I can’t take back#and that’s just as scary#I love being trans#I love being secure in who I am#but I hate that that security is bringing me pain#trans#ftm
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the problem was that you threw an F2 driver into an F1 seat too soon and now you’re doing the same thing all over again?
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A lot of people think my autism is “getting better” but I think a lot of it has to do with being an adult and being able to make my own decisions. I used to have frequent meltdowns and shutdowns and on the outside seemed more “obviously” autistic. But I’m 19 now, so I have a lot more say in my life. I only buy one brand of socks. I only own 2 types of shoes. All of my clothes are the exact same. I only eat what *I* want to eat and think feels safe. I can drive and can choose when to leave for appointments and obligations. If I were still a child and forced to wear socks with seams in the toes or clothes that fit me wrong or foods that trigger my sensory issues or have my routine thrown off by other people, I would have A LOT more issues. But since I’m an adult, I have control over most aspects of my life. I’m not “less autistic” now, I just have more free will and know myself well enough to avoid triggers.
#autism is a neurodevelopmental condition#you’re born with it#it can’t ‘get better’#BUT!!!!!!#and this is a huge but#you CAN learn ways to deal with it better!!!!#you can learn how to cope#and how to work with autism instead of fighting it#let me tell you. if someone forced me to eat peas right now….. I would scream and cry and throw up from a sensory issues meltdown#but I’m an adult so I just. don’t buy or use peas.#and my mom knows me well enough that if she makes a dinner with peas#she just pulls a portion out for me before adding the peas#actually autistic#actually autism#autism#autistic#neurodivergent
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Thinking about how Leo says he uses his jokes to cope and y’know, thinking harder on it I think it may very well be because of what else uses one-liners and puns and that type of humor.
Specifically, 80’s action movies and campy sci-fi. Even more specifically, the protagonists of these.
So I can imagine why, exactly, Leo leans toward this brand of humor. It’s directly linked to things he loves! But even more than that is why I think it’s used as a coping mechanism.
In these genres, these quips tend to be said by the winner - or, if not a winner, then someone who will stay alive. So there’s a confidence behind them, an assurance, almost, that even if things go wrong, things aren’t ever too serious. There’s no bad endings here! It’s all good fun, even if the stakes seem high.
Leo canonically has been known to steer his brothers away from the more brutal villains and toward more fun, lighthearted activities and not-so-dangerous criminals. So for Leo, these jokes definitely make things less heavy, make the situations they find themselves in less intense.
It’s kinda not just coping, but also can be seen as a form of escapism. A safety blanket. A way for Leo to defuse the tension of knowing just how dangerous their lives are and replace that with a levity which implies that things will be okay.
Unfortunately, levity alone does not alter reality.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt leo#rise leo#rottmnt headcanons#how pretentious can I sound when talking about a fictional turtle more at eight#anyway I always loved to think about Leo’s quick line about coping with humor#I don’t care how much people think it doesn’t REALLY matter it’s fun to play around with tbh#also love the idea that Leo’s sense of humor comes from the protags of his fav campy series#(+ from his confident and awesome big sis April)#like idk Leo’s special interests directly paving out how he presents himself both to others and in general is so interesting to me!!!#he is someone who KNOWS people and their quirks so 100% he caught on to that 80’s style of quippy one-liners-#-and associated that with safety and levity#even the villains of these genres who spout off quips tend to be the ones who survive!#Leo desperately fighting to keep the same lighthearted genre as 87 TMNT as the horrors of 2003 and 2012 loom on the horizon#and I think something important to note is that Leo KNOWS things are real#he is WELL AWARE of how dangerous things can get for them#but he copes anyway because it’s easier to deal with everything that way#bro just wants he and his family to be safe tbh
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I can’t believe a boyfriend made a silly sex joke to lighten the mood after both partners had a moment of vulnerability. The audacity. The horror. The normalcy! Unbelievable. How dare a conversation about feelings turn to levity. How dare a couple have a light chat about trauma-related things over dinner that doesn’t turn into an incredibly deep heart to heart instead of a joke and moving on. Unbelievable. I’m never watching this show again! 👎🏻
#911 spoilers#bucktommy#Evan buckley#Tommy kinard#look#as a queer person in a relationship with another queer person#both of whom have major familial trauma#trust me when I say you generally DONT WANT ever reference to your feelings and trauma to turn into a huge deep discussion#sometimes you just say something vulnerable#and the other person does too#and then you joke about it and move on#humour is powerful coping mechanism as well#one that is pretty common especially among guys#people need to freaking relax ffs#Tommy is not a horrible person for making a flirty joke#things were said and feelings were acknowledged#and then they moved on#this is all perfectly freaking natural#Buck is not some sensitive flower that can’t handle a silly joke about daddy issues#please I beg you all to look at this at a distance with some common sense#rather than the ‘but Buck is traumatized and must always be treated delicately!!’ lens#and I am saying all of this as someone who really doesn’t give two fucks about the joke itself#I’m not into daddy kink idgaf#but if the idea that a queer couple isn’t allowed to insert a flirty joke to lighten a moment of vulnerability#then I don’t know what to tell you#you personally finding something innapropriate does not mean it’s actually innapropriate#please just chill out ffs#no one wants to hear about how evil Tommy is for hitting on his boyfriend for months and months to come
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New AU alert.
Thinking about farms and cowboys.
Also some Hunter doodles just because.
You can still call him whatever you’d like. (Hunter or Tremor/Trevor, honestly I like both and can’t decide lmfao).
also I can’t draw horses.
#art#fanart#my art#original art#au art#Splatoon au#splatoon#Splatoon fanart#Splatoon art#Splatoon fan art#Splatoon deep cut#deep cut splatoon#deep cut#splatoon Frye#Frye splatoon#Frye onaga#Splatoon shiver#shiver splatoon#shiver hohojiro#splatoon big man#big man splatoon#big man#Splatoon Wild West au#? is it Wild West or like farmer or like Texas au lmfao idk anymore#Basically Hunter is obsessed with horses and he definitely dreams of having a mojo dojo casa house#don’t tell anyone but Frye is based off of Pearl (yk Pearl the movie hehehehe) she’s so slay. of course Frye doesn’t kill her family in her#this is a comfort au please. no murder no death no nothing like that just happy farmers and cowboys and milk men. I love it#it’s my way to cope with my dreams I will probably never get to accomplish. Always dreamt of having a farm#also I know the movie Pearl is in the 1900s and the Wild West was like 1800s but I do not give a shittttttttt#yes definitely. this is why I asked how Big Man would carry one of those bags I forgot the stupid name of
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Damian Wayne stuck in a time loop.
It resets when someone dies, and since Damian is the youngest, it doesn’t matter how rocky his relationship is with the bat-siblings, each and everyone one of them sacrifices themselves for him.
And Damian is pissed off because he doesn’t understand why.
Grayson is obvious, he has made it clear that he feels affection for Damian and has made the most effort into integrating him into the family. Of course he would die for his little brother. And at first, Damian believes he finds this outcome to be the least acceptable.
There is also his Father, again, a logical expression of love. Damian can understand why his Father would die for him, even if he doesn’t want him to. Even if, in the first few loops, he wishes that anyone else would die instead. At least it’s a type of parental relationship he can understand in the abstract, even if it surprises him to see its true about himself. That even though he has several older brothers and is unsure of his place by his Father’s side, the man would do anything to protect him. It reminds him of his Mother, even though he’s sure if she were here she’d find a way for the both of them to live.
Brown is the first one to surprise him. They had worked together when Grayson was Batman and he recognized her competence, but he thought that’s all it was. A working relationship between professionals. A mutal, if grudging respect. He is shocked when she dies, how he had no clue she would go that far for him. How he refuses to let it happen again.
If Brown was a surprise, Cain was a shock. Damian thought of her as nigh invincible, unable to be touched. It was clear she was the best of all of them, that she had seen the hit miles ahead of him, had maybe even seen him brace for it. But she had chosen to let herself go down. He feels every bit his age as he begins to wonder if he’s even more powerless to stop this than he thought if his most competent sister chose to let herself fall.
Thomas was confusing. He was new, newer than Damian and not quite sure of himself. They rarely saw each other aside from school due to the mismatch in schedules. Thomas gave him a wide berth, respecting Damian’s space in a way his other siblings failed to do or intentionally disregarded. Damian didn’t think much of him. Couldn’t understand how Thomas hadn’t even paused, had taken the hit as if it was an unquestionable law of the universe. As if they were really brothers and not strangers. It was a sentiment Damian didn’t know how to return.
Todd was the worst. He had seen him, briefly, before he had come to Gotham from the league. His Mother spoke of him rarely, but with pride. He was skilled, if untamed. He avoided the manor and his brothers and their Father. The only one he usually sought was Pennyworth. That is why Todd was the worst. Because he avoided all of them. Because this family had already allowed him to die before and he had come back wrong. A painful reminder that their family has failed. And he fought so hard to remind them all of that failure, every way he chose to keep fighting to live, to prioritize his own life over their Father’s morality. Only to throw it away for Damian. To force him to watch how his brother’s second death shattered their Father and Pennyworth and Grayson in a way that Damian didn’t think they’d survive a second time.
Drake is incomprehensible. Antithetical. A cosmic error. Impossible. There is no love between them, no grudging respect, nothing. Damian can’t stand to look at the person who he feels is a disgrace to the costume Damian now wears. He is the one who dies for Damian the most. The one he can’t possibly understand. The brother he has the least time to question, who gives him the least answers as to his motivations. Who will both die for Damian and refuse to utter a word to him in the same loop. It is madness. Damian needs to prove himself above this embarrassment, and yet Drake chooses to be beneath him. To die for him. It is in spite of Damian’s skill that Drake dies, and Damian hates him for it.
#batman#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#redhood#alfred pennyworth#damian wayne#robin#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#duke thomas#signal dc#black bat#spoiler#batgirl#red robin#nightwing#dc comics#dcu#dc universe#i don’t know how to end this#i like the idea that damian comes out of this without a 180 degree personality change#but also it would be funny af if he suddenly hugged all his siblings one day#after the loop breaks#if he just declared that he loved them all or something#but at the same time i honestly think that tim is the one who gets them out of the loop#that damian is forced to work with him#to acknowledge him and his abilities and the fact that their brothers#also damian is a 10 year old child and idfk how he’s supposed to cope with watching his whole family die and then go about the next day#like nothing happened i think it would scare the hell out of the batfam
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commander fox: i don’t have an alcohol problem, i have many problems and an alcohol solution
#tcw#star wars tcw#sw tcw#the clone wars#star wars the clone wars#i don’t know how to tag clone wars#commander fox#star wars#actual quote from me i am simply coping through star wars thoughts
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i gave rinne my period cramps
that’s it that’s the post
#why? i dunno i’m in pain and this is how i’m coping#if i suffer he can suffer too#ensemble stars#enstars#rinne amagi#digital art#my art#i don’t know what else to tag this#maybe that’s for the best lmao
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missing when brackwood/davron was at its peak after episode 3 😔
#their ao3 tag is losing traction and i don’t know how to cope#the best thing to come out of season 2 was those gay riverlands boys#they have chemistry that compels me in a way i cannot explain#davron#brackwood#aeron bracken#davos blackwood#house of the dragon#hotd
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happy fucking monday, look at this beautiful mother fucker~🎃
#i honestly don’t know how to cope with this frimage#HIS BARE KNEES#i feel like an old victorian man losing his shit over a woman’s hem shifting and exposing her ankle#jfc#i can’t though#he’s just so fucking pretty#frnkiebby#frank iero#mcr#frnkiero#mcr5#mcrmy#frnkie#my chemical romance#my chem#ilhsm
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i use dissociation more than anything i’ve ever learned in my 10yrs of therapy
#actually bpd#bpd problems#bpd vent#actually borderline#actually mentally ill#bpd fp#bpd#bpd shitposting#bpd favorite person#bpd mood#dissociation is my favorite coping mechanism#that and avoidance#i love avoiding my problems until i can’t take it anymore and have a full blown breakdown about it#it’s easier to go through life ignoring everything that’s bothering you until it all just explodes one day#idk maybe that’s just me tho#right after every breakdown i feel like shit tho cuz i usually freak out everyone around me but i don’t know how else to cope#even tho i’ve had 10yrs of therapy nothing else worked for me#so dissociation it is babyyyy
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the glenn macdennis comment hurt obviously but also so necessarily cause i’d gotten too delusional i was too obsessed with the potential final prize instead of fully enjoying what i love about what macden is rn which is the saddest awfulest gay tragedy ever written this is such a good catalyst for lowering my expectations and just living laughing loving in the doomed queerbait this is what shipping’s about what fandom’s about what life is about let us rest peacefully knowing that we absolutely will still get shit and it’ll be crazy and funny and sad but ultimately the power to make it beautiful lies with us. as the queerbait gods intended
#or is this just coping. who knows#do still need a five minute sex scene but they can be friends after it#because he is right. it’s funny#it’s also horrible which is the show#but yeah stings oh boy it stings but also this is so so good and fun#and then if it does end up happening we didn’t expect it which makes it better lmao#overall very important thing i think. this is how queerbait should be done it’s beautiful#but yes hush hush don’t worry this is better in the long run i promise#unless it stunts the character development but i don’t think they’d let that happen#that’s like glenn’s favourite thing#but yeah macden is so beyond normal queerbait anyway and i’d honestly been forgetting how fun it was before s16 when it was so unknown#i’m so ready to get back to that complete lack of trust in anything before s17#seeing that tweet did feel like being shot though#‘we need more doomed toxic queerbait’ you couldn’t even handle glenn howerton saying macdennis will never be fully canon#iasip#macdennis#+
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Hehe, more doodles of old traumatized men, with color! Pls ignore my bad grammar when labeling these geezers hehe… 😅 Also still changed around the prompt but generally the same idea
Neither of them are okay
#art#transformers#transformers prime#attack on prime#melishade#holoform#human transformers#tfp megatron#optimus prime#they don’t know how to cope#emotional regulation?#nope#the game’s emotional suppression 😎#please get them help#they need couples therapy#Megs: *Optimus puts hand on shoulder supportively* *narrows eyes at him* I see through your bullshit… you’re no better than me#Opi: :D?
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also roman saying ‘the death of romance’ when shiv asked if he was ok right after he was told to fire gerri. I don’t think you were talking about connor and willa baby girl
#I’m literally going insane every time I remember something else it’s like someone’s hitting me in the face with a frying pan#uncomfortably grinning like Kerry rn I don’t know how to cope#succession#succession spoilers
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