#and I definitely made it worse
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I'm so tired of being me and stuck in this brain š
#yesterday was one of the worst anxiety days I've had in awhile#I don't know why#and I definitely made it worse#on myself because I don't want to bother anyone#or push it off onto someone else#I've not been well for awhile and I'm so fucking tired of it#I've been such a bad person to be around#sorry for being negative I'm just frustrated with everything
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āļøāļøThe SDV Girlies in their winter garb!āļøāļø
One side how i interpreted their lil avatars and then the other side is just me playing dress up lmao.
āBois when?ā Dunno. š¤·š½āāļø I will if anyone donates screenshots.
#stardew valley#stardew valley 1.6#stardew valley winter#stardew valley maru#stardew valley haley#stardew valley penny#stardew valley leah#stardew valley emily#stardew valley abigail#sdv maru#sdv haley#sdv penny#sdv leah#sdv emily#sdv abigail#i was sweating drawing this#the ph is having a fucking heatwave at 40*C / 104*C#and iām not even living in the city where its definitely worse!!!#my pinterest algorithm probably thinks iām insane for searching up winter outfits#penny looking lightly dressed for winter in her 2nd lewk but sheās dressed in several layers in dresses and skirts#i just wanted to show a lil bit of the layered neckline#ngl my fave lewk has to be emily!#she probably made her whole ensamble from scratch#abgail probably goes around lightly dressed#ācold never bothered her anywayā -elsa#haley going from cocnut girl to cold girl aesthetic#also i based maruās outfit in this really cool chinese obre puffer jacket + 90s pastel tracksuit#with leahā¦ what can i say gay in primary colors#thank you to henarikat for sending me a screenshot of their avatars!!!!!!#and also for being a beta for Haley and Pennyās looks hahaha
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# Dcu x Dp 177
Danny is having mix feelings his parents believed that his powers were the cause of ecto contaminated and was making him sick and slow killing.
While the bat's and birds think that he is also sick they belived that the powers he has have made him think he is dead and have given him something called walking corpse syndrome
The batfam believes that Danny is a meta with Cotard's syndromeĀ and are trying to convince him that he is not dead. While also making sure that he does not die for real because of starvation or injury/infection.
Cotard's syndrome ( aslo called walking corpse) a rare mental disorder in which the affected person holds the believe that parts of their body are missing, or that they are dying, dead, or don't exist
#My post#Dcxdp#Dp x dc#The bat's don't think the powers themselves is what make Danny think he is dead#But how his power are like that of a ghost has made Danny come to the conclusion that he had dead#Batfam trying to gaslight Danny into believing that he is alive#Danny not knowing if this is better or worse Than Jack and Maddie reaction#Batfam thinking his powers are the cause of it but not wanting to block them in case that his powers are keeping him alive#Please tell me if I got the definition worng
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i love to see people who are like "you can talk about csa but not around minors that's gross!" like idk how to tell you this but. who do you think is getting csa'd. i'll give you a hint: the first letter in csa does not stand for "adult"
#nnstuff#was browsing the tmnt competition cuz i havent paid attention to it much#and that anon made me laugh#that anon was prolly a kid too but like still. its funny. i dont blame them for thinking that#i just think its funny is all#anyway good on the mod for being very level headed about stuff#they're doing a good job and i'm proud of them even if it's not how i'd handle things- cuz i am an adult who is used to talking about CSA#and they're a kid who is clearly uncomfortable with it and definitely could've responded way worse than they did#csa tw
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late night cecilia post because i'm brainrotting so fucking bad. she's the worst
+ slapshipping nonsense below the cut because i am a degenerate
#art#saw fanart#saw x#saw franchise#cecilia pederson#amanda young#john kramer#slapshipping#kinda? ig. there is one very heated smooch occuring. its also lowkey based on that one meme lmfao#i know so many people who would kill themselves for a chance to match cecilias freak. me included.#i could not have fixed her. but i definitely would take the chance to make her worse. thank you goodnight#alien requesters i see u and i will draw more alien soon... but i made the mistake of rewatching saw x...#so now im gonna be super annoying ab it. more alien otw though i love those little space freaks#š©øart tag
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What was Wingdings and Sansā school life like? especially early on when Wingdings couldn't talk without some sort of translation. Did they ever get bullied?
Not too important for the story, i'd assume, but you just gotta love the little things-
Yeah... this is probably not gonna matter to the story a lot...
BUT I ALSO LIKE THE LITTLE THINGS SO I'LL ANSWER!!
I'm gonna add a keep reading here because I'll probably yap a lot
Okay, so you would assume they would have been bullied... But they weren't!! not really?
Probably in a more realistic world they would have been, but usually, monsters are pretty nice!! (with some exceptions)
SO! I'm gonna talk about how I think it would have gone
Monsters were nice to Dings, friendly! But there was always the inconvenience of not being understood. And Sans was there to help him but I don't think Wingdings liked that, he wanted to do so himself or not at all And as I've said before, at some point, Wingdings gave up on making friendships work, he isolated himself and focused and what really mattered!!
Sans did have friends! But his first priority was his brother, if he had to skip friend time to be with Wingdings he would do that
So he never really made close friends, just friends
Going back to Wingdings, there were probably some mean monsters that did bother him about the dingbat font at some point, but that wasn't a usual thing! Usually, monsters were nice! And though there was definitely a barrier, they didn't care all that much? BUT WINGDINGS DID CARE, HE KNEW HE WAS DIFFERENT TO EVERYONE ELSE AND WHAT THAT COULD MEAN, so why even bother?
When I was thinking about this I remembered that one scene from Meet the Robinsons:
AND JFKFJKDCJDSK
Small Dings was kinda like that
He was usually outcasted, but no one really disliked him?? They just didn't know him at all because he didn't even try talking to anyone
So no one approached or talked to him, if anything they found him intimidating
Sans was there with him the whole time! So it's not like he had no one at all, but uh,,,, yeah
#something like this!#very early on I did think about making it worse? how people treated him? but#monsters are usually very kind#there's exceptions of course#like jerry#everyone hates jerry#but uh#yeah#and I thought#sometimes you just *think* you're gonna be bullied or disliked and avoid people because of that#and realizing you could have made friends with those people if you had just tried hurts more#I'm glad Sans made Alphys work with them#Now wingdings can't avoid interacting with other monsters and realizing it's actually not that bad#Please don't interpret this as me saying he didn't struggle and that he imagined it to be bad#It was definitely bad#not being able to communicate must suck a lot#answered ask
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crazy how the sanshee plush is one of the few actual direct confirmations on what a non-act 2 Natsukiās home life is like because of how cagey she is on literally everything. Like this isnāt anything surprising or something you wouldnāt be able to extrapolate from the games but unlike everything else we know about her the implications are right there on the tin.
They literally did the character bio trope where where all the likes are normal but the dislikes are about their very specific trauma itās just so funny they did that on the plushie card
#the thing is the rest of the bios are mostly normal itās just this one with the yellong part why did they do that#idk if Iām stupid or forgot the yelling thing being shown directly in a non-act 2 context but I at least appreciate the confirmation#since I might just be mixing up fanon and canon considering 90% of what we know with Natsukiās whole deal is interpolated from small tidbits#but like trying to understand anything about non act 2 Natsukiās background is so funny because she doesnāt like to talk about anything#so all we know about her home life is by comparing her to act 2 and the secret poem plus psychoanalysing her thoughts and actions#is like the secret poem says Monika definitely made her dad worse but the problem is we donāt know how much#anyways and for all we know her dad could range from somewhat average dad to should be put on a watch list#and sometimes thereās dialogue like the one in self love about Natsuki worrying about her friends retaliation#and itās probably meant to act as a confirmation to whether thereās physical abuse considering how out of left field the question is#but like it could be interpreted either way so itās basically just Schrƶdingerās physical abuse for no reason#Iām not criticizing or anything I think the characters being able to hold secrets is cool and ambiguity is awesome#and the choice to keep the ambiguous is intentional since the characters only share what their comfortable with#but I just need to vent about that one line in self love ok#like idk if Iām just stupid but thereās multiple interpretations but itās seemingly both a decomfirmation and confirmation#idk itās weird but her dad yelling at her enough to make it one of her dislikes is at least something in terms of actual evidence#damn it I put a paragraph in the tags again Iām sorry gang Iām not moving it#ddlc#doki doki literature club#tempestmothtalk
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Look I know Lucifer isn't the best dad ever but I feel like people who say he's a bad dad are purposely ignoring the context of the show. It is very much implied that he thought Charlie wanted nothing to do with him, and Charlie thought he wanted nothing to do with her. Luciferās still dealing with trauma from Heaven and his fall and probably will for the rest of time plus he's dealing with what would probably qualify as clinical depression, and simultaneously dealing with trauma, clinical depression, and autistic traits (which Lucifer absolutely has; I do not say, as an autistic person, that Lucifer is a massive autistic mood for no reason) is a fucking NIGHTMARE.
I'm not saying Lucifer shouldn't take responsibility. He should. But he's already doing better than my dad frankly. Lucifer hits me in the daddy issues, I wish my dad made an effort to be more active in my life. Lucifer is fucking trying, and that's better than a lot of people can say about their dads.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel lucifer#like i said hes definitely not the best dad but hes also not the worst. hes trying#thats both better than he was doing and better than a lot of people get#(i do think stolas is a better dad but his and lucifers circumstances are also completely different)#if lucifer hadnt bothered helping charlie then yeah id say hes a bad dad#but he put his instinct to avoid the thing that gave him trauma (heaven) at all costs aside for charlie#he was able to acknowledge that yes hes been a shit dad and could be doing better#he made an active effort TO DO BETTER#he actively made a change about himself for the sake of being there for charlie and that alone is better than most people can do#he wasnt a bad dad on purpose. he thought charlie didnt want to see him and acted accordingly which made his mental health problems worse#and his mental health problems being worse made it harder for him to function let alone be charlies dad#again im not saying he shouldnt take accountability just that people dont acknowledge why he was absent for so long#(me being me i blame lilith for making lucifer think charlie didnt want to see him and making charlie think lucifer didnt want to see her)#maybe this is littered with bad takes and my perspective is clouded by daddy issues. idk lol
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look, i know everyone said that the new interview with the vampire show was incredible but holy shit i was not prepared for how incredible this show is
like, not only is louis interesting now, he is incredibly compelling! his once-bland internal dilemma is now given actual weight because it's not just the same old Thou Shalt Not Kill But I Am Hungry story, it's tempered through his righteous fury at how black people have been treated all these years, how many people have wronged him and laughed and expected him to laugh along, how his ties to the community that once saved him are now turning to nooses around his throat, how his family that he once provided for and relied on have now come to fear him
that, combined with his explicit homosexuality, and with lestat being the only one who seemed to accept him and love him for all that he is, and how that is both comforting and incredibly toxic and combined with sam reid's insane charisma and mania and gravity as lestat that make it completely understandable why louis would still be drawn to him in spite of everything
and how they've used the changes from the original to this one to examine how memory shifts regarding someone who was so intense and formative in your life even if they were ultimately so controlling and abusive but still left such huge gouges in your personality like knives
like
fuck
this is the best-written show i have seen in a long time like this is top-tier writing holy shit
#interview with the vampire#iatw#i kept thinking ''eh idk if this is for me'' but now i'm just. frothing at the mouth over the quality and the nuance of the writing#and the incredible acting and the shifting timelines and the nods to the original not as easter eggs but integral parts of characterization#i mean. mind blown#at the sheer level of writing going on here like holy shit this deserves so many awards#FUCK AND CLAUDIA IS JUST#FUCK#like if i had to pick the ''worst time to be made immortal'' it would undoubtedly be 14#i mean kirsten dunst being 10 is definitely awful but 14 would be so much worse#because you are on the very *cusp* of adulthood#and to be denied ever reaching that adulthood would be an unspeakable torture#like you're just old enough to *know* but just too young to really *experience*#and you're at the very peak of being Your Worst You#like 14 is undoubtedly the worst time to be made immortal#literally nobody would ever even remotely want to be 14 forever that's everyone's idea of hell
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a small compilation of my favorite hook voicelines from the kinect disneyland game. you can tell why certain lines are in here
#peter pan#captain hook#sometimes i forgot just how big hooks ego is like dayum#hes also such a fashion critic š#corey burton i owe you my life /j#anyways. grabbing my head and screaming like that one kitten gif. I AM GOING INSANE#kinda glad i didnt have a kinect as a kid bcuz this definitely wouldve made my obsession with hook worse#god i love being genderfluid. im a sir young man miss AND madame >:)#alr thats enough rambling abt hook for now#šŖš“āā ļøš”ļø: villainous thing
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Shadow still exists
Fanfic prompt: what if after shadow died he was still sentient but trapped in fourās shadow
Not capable of moving just following
Not capable of seeing or hearing anything
Not capable of touch or smell
Trapped and quietly suffering with no mouth to scream his pain
No escape from his existence as nothing but a shadow
In pain when someone steps on the shadow four casts and just having to endure
But four never finds out about him still existing and begging for release
Assuming that his shadow is now dead and accepting it with a painful smile knowing that shadow helped with a honorable death
For years only following as a shadow and nothing more
deaf and blind with no ability to hear or understand yet feeling pain everytime someone walks over him
Not knowing why or how he is in pain when all he sees is just darkness and nothing else
Until one day time accidentally pointed the mask of truth on four's shadow and then heard an all encompassing scream
As nobody else heard it
He would think he is going insane asking the others if they heard any noise
Only to confirm whatever or not it must have been a very unsettling yet not real experience
The chain was concerned for the welfare of his while four was having a very bad feeling about timeās reaction
#linked universe#lu time#lu four#lu shadow#i cooked something i really shouldnāt have#because i am a cruel person#an I have no mouth but I must scream reference#I made shadow's death worse#i made it bone crushing angst#sorry lol#four swords adventures#four is definitely going to have an aneurysm#four swords manga#four swords#four swords shadow#sheikah mask#horror#maybe?#lu wind#lu warriors#lu legend#lu sky#lu wild#lu hyrule#lu twilight#the chain is having a crisis right now#time is a mess#but hearing voices or screaming must not be a good sign
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You know what, fuck it, I have to speak my truth! (this is gonna be a rant, so anyone who actually likes assassin's creed revelations and/or the secret crusade, be warned or maybe don't read this at all)
remember how altaĆÆr talks to king richard at the end of ac1, and richard is like "[humans] come into the world kicking and screaming, violent and unstable. it is what we are. we cannot help ourselves."? and how altaĆÆr answers "no. we are what we choose to be." and how that ACTUALLY has meaning bc he himself was "violent and unstable" at the beginning of the game but he has learned and is now CHOOSING to be a better person who cares about others and humanity at large? remember how his calmness and gentleness was something that he ACQUIRED over the course of the story?
and remember how in revelations they then suddenly had a PRE-AC1 altaĆÆr say about the first of his targets "no man should pass from this world without knowing some kindness." and be all wise and calm and collected during a nice little chat with al mualim, who suddenly acts all fatherly? (like, this is suddenly supposed to be a positive relationship? what??)
also, during the confession the target says to altair: "you put too much faith in the hearts of men, altaĆÆr. [...] humans are weak, base, and petty." and altaĆÆr answers: "no. our creed is evidence to the contrary." KJASJFJDKL???? like, itās almost insulting how close this exchange is to the one with richard. you know, the one that was actually earned after a whole game of character development. like WTF??? cool congrats now that development means nothing. like, apparently that was just altaĆÆr reverting BACK to being the exemplary assassin who understands and believes in the creed that he was apparently just born as. (i also hate how having a young inexperienced altaĆÆr saying this implies that altaĆÆr's faith in humanity is a sign of naivete instead of a sign of the wisdom he has gained after being confronted with counter arguments for a whole game, and also something that distinguishes the assassins from the templars who use humanity's supposed wickedness to justify controlling them like in AC1, but whatever)
altaĆÆrās development in AC1 mattered BECAUSE he is not NATURALLY a good person, it actually said something about humanity's capacity for both bad AND good and how humans don't have to be forced to be good through mind control bc they can by their own free will choose to be better when taught how and when allowed the freedom to grow. but no. apparently altaĆÆr has just always been calm, wise and gentle. and he just sort of forgot about that during AC1 bcā¦. ? bc of adha?? bc of abbas???
oh donāt get me started on the whole abbas thing. (it doesnt even make sense that abbas is so hung up about his father and "his familyās honor", like what about the whole point of al mualim not allowing parents to be close to their children bc it would make them weak? like, my dude, youāre not supposed to HAVE any family aside from the brotherhood)
they used the throwaway character that had like 5 lines and made him into altaĆÆrās main antagonist in revelationsā¦ like, abbas wasnāt supposed to be this ONE dude who had personal beef with altaĆÆr, he was just supposed to show how while altaĆÆrās revered by many, a lot of his brothers also hate him, bc 1) altaĆÆr is a shitty person at this point and 2) bc thereās no real feeling of community and family in this version of the brotherhood, but just a pervasive sense of competition and jealousy ā these assassins donāt care about their goal of safeguarding humanity bc theyāre too hung up on petty squabbles and divided by rivalries (you know, the things that made malik hate altaĆÆr even before solomonās temple and that he overcomes in the end which enables him to forgive and to reconcile with altaĆÆr so they can work together and stop al mualim? (you ever just think about "we are one. as we share the glory of our victories, so too should we share the pain of our defeat. in this way we grow closer. we grow stronger." and cry? bc i do. all the time. malik, the man that you are))
and now abbas is altaĆÆrās childhood best friend turned lifelong enemy?? like, bowden bent over backwards to come up with an explanation for why altaĆÆr is an arrogant ass at the beginning of AC1, when the explanation is right there: he was raised to kill without asking questions and was constantly praised for how good he is at murder, which resulted in him becoming arrogant and disregarding human life. like, it doesnāt have to be some shakespearean family feud type shit. and guess what, this "simple" explanation actually plays into the storyās themes, whoāda thunk!
(like, abbas might not have been a "fleshed out" character in AC1, but he had a specific function and now that function is gone. mr bowden, mr mcdevitt, you know characters are allowed to simply exist to tell us something about their worlds and the systems they live in and sometimes thatās more important and also more interesting than having every single character have a detailed backstory to explain all their behaviors, right?)
with all of this revelations loses all nuance in regards to the levantine brotherhood and also the creed in general. like, altaĆÆr being a master assassin at the beginning despite being a terrible person and not actually understanding the creed is a criticism of the brotherhood and the creed itself. like, it said something about the order that someone like altaĆÆr was able to get that high in rank, simply bc he's good at killing, which also tells us what is considered important in the al mualim era assassin order. when you make altaĆÆrās arrogance the result of his personal conflicts instead of how we was raised by a brotherhood that only valued one's ability to kill, you lose that characterization of the assassin order itself!
and by suddenly making al mualim a semi good "father figure" you also downplay his manipulation of not only altaĆÆr but all those under his care. (altaĆÆr says something about al mualim being "as a father" to him exactly twice in the codex, but he doesnāt mean by that that he WAS a father to him, what he means is that he was the CLOSEST THING he had bc HE DID NOT HAVE PARENTS, not because his mother died in childbirth and his father was executed when he was young btw, BUT BECAUSE IT WASNāT ALLOWED, like his parents actually lived but werenāt allowed to be close to him, he says he came to view al mualimās "weak and dishonest" love as enough and even better BECAUSE HE HAD NOTHING ELSE, BECAUSE AL MUALIM ISOLATED HIS ASSASSINS FROM THEIR FAMILIES. al mualim "loved" him bc he was good at killing people for him! hm, i wonder if this could be trying to say anything about cults and indoctrination and the inherent contradiction in fighting for peace and free will by taking children away from their parents and raising them to become killers?? like, altaĆÆr wasn't ~the special orphan boy~ taken in by al mualim bc his father died a hero's death, it was "the way of the order" to have al mualim be the closest thing to a parental figure for everyone to ensure absolute loyalty! altaĆÆr saying al mualim was like his father is not supposed to make you go "oh, he must have actually been a good guy for altaĆÆr to consider him a father", it should make you go "oh that's kinda fucked up that he considers the dude who made him into a killing machine and who manipulated him a sort of father figure"!)
and then in revelations they suddenly portray that relationship as positive and healthy??? like, it would be one thing to give it some nuance by delving into the psychology behind al mualimās "love" and maybe showing how al mualim did care about altair in a complicated, fraught sort of way (like, you know, thereās a lot of interesting things you could say about al mualim at several points addressing altaĆÆr as "my child" in AC1 and how that parallels Garnier referring to the people he drugged and abused as his "children", and what that says about how the templars view the people who they say they want to save and in whose best interests they supposedly act (in any case, al mualim doesnāt use that phrase because he has any real parental feelings but rather to patronize and to invalidate any objections, like in a "mother knows best" way))
but they even fucking DARE to parallel that relationship with that of altaĆÆr and darim in revelations, by having the reflection in the puddle of darim hugging altaĆÆr showing altaĆÆr hugging al mualimā¦. like their relationship wasnāt inherently abusive but just tragically cut short because al mualim was just "corrupted by the apple"ā¦ like WHAT???? so itās not the very real problems like grooming, manipulation and indoctrination and the hierarchical structure of the brotherhood itself (all of which are antithetical to the assassin ideology), it was just the evil apple all along. great. thatās DEFINITELY a lot more interesting.
god im sorry i really dont want to spread negativity but this is driving me INSANE. like, somebody please tell me im not crazy bc i feel like somehow most of the fandom is in agreement that revelations and the secret crusade have better storytelling and characterization than ac1.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, can we talk about how, even IF we completely ignore AC1 and treat revelations altaĆÆr as his own characterā¦. the narrative still doesnāt really work?
basically, the whole point of his story in rev is that "he gave his whole life to the brotherhood", this obsession led to him not using his time with his family which has him ending up dying alone in a dark library and this in turn makes ezio reevaluate his life choicesā¦. except. he doesnāt? neglect? his family? or whatever? like, his devotion to the assassins is sort of painted as this tragic flaw that leads to a lonely death bc it supposedly comes at the cost of his family, butā¦ his wife has joined the assassins, (at least) one of his sons is in the brotherhood and even when he goes to protect the assassins against the mongols, he takes his family with him (except for the son who stays behind bc he has a family of his own and who, ironically, ends up dying bc of that)ā¦ like, you canāt describe altaĆÆr as a good husband and father in the database and have his son tell him that "everything that is good in me began with you, father" when they say goodbye, and then want to make us believe that he put his family behind the brotherhood and that that is a character flaw that leads to his tragedy.
because you HAVE to have a characterās tragedy be the result of a character flaw. like. that is how tragedies work. otherwise it just becomes tragedy for the sake of tragedy which isā¦ boring bc it has no purpose. and we know it is SUPPOSED to have purpose bc ezIO FUCKING QUITS BEING AN ASSASSIN AFTER WITNESSING IT!
itās like they want to have their cake and eat it, too ā they didnāt want to actually make altaĆÆr a bad husband/father, but still wanted to make his life a tragedy where he loses his family which is why instead they outsource all responsibility to abbas who now has to be the reason for ALL the deaths.
like, they try to make at least mariaās death kind of sort of the result of altaĆÆrās rashness or whatever but likeā¦ these guys KILLED THEIR SON and TOLD HIM THAT ALTAĆR HAD ORDERED HIS DEATH. like, altaĆÆr losing it in response to that is not rash, itās fucking logical and justified! if anything the scene made me angry at maria for trying to stop him. like, GIRL, he was YOUR son too??? but god forbid we give female characters actual real emotions, she has to fill the role of "voice of reason who dies for altaĆÆrās man pain" i fucking guess.
like, itās this weird mix where his tragedy is simultaneously painted as his own fault but also not really bc abbas is the one responsible for all the shit that happens. it justā¦ it just doesnāt really go together.
the only way to make his story make sense narratively and to give it actual purpose is by looking at it in the context of ezioās story, bc the things he sees in altaĆÆrās memories are supposed to be a revelation (ha!) to ezio specifically. and i guess thatās maybe the crux of it all ā altaĆÆrās story in revelations was conceived of first and foremost to support ezioās story and development. which is probably also why many people maybe donāt notice bc, having skipped ac1 and started with ac2, the majority of people mostly care only about ezio and only really appreciate altaĆÆrās story in as far as it serves to push ezio forward. (tho iāve also seen a few people say that ezio is also written kind of weird in rev, but iāve never really been an ezio girly myself so i canāt speak to the truth of that)
like, altaĆÆr dying alone in the library doesnāt really have to make sense for his character, i guess, bc itās only really supposed to be a cautionary tale for ezio.
so, i guess, for once, they actually had a MAN dying for another manās character development, which is pretty woke actually. ubisoft, i take everything back jksdsfjhgdsahfhsdhfghfdsgjhsdgjh
#assassins creed#ac1#altair ibn la'ahad#malik al-sayf#ezio auditore#asscreed#rant#long post#this is killing me#i even started rereading the secret crusade bc i thought maybe i remember it being worse than it is#but honestly its the opposite#even just the fact that in the secret crusade altair always says some last sentence after his targets' confessions#has me so irrationally angry aksjdfh#like over sibrands body he says something like 'may death be merciful' or something#like? did they want that to be like requiescat in pace or something???#like aside from the fact that altair WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THESE THINGS#it also just destroys the tension built up by the target's last words#like... i do think it was very much on purpose that the target always had the last word in the confessions#sigh whatever its just a stupid video game from over 15 years ago who cares#(me. i care. unfortunately. i wish i didn't. send help please.)#also the fact that bowden just completely fucked up arabic naming conventions with the whole āumar/darim ibn la'ahadā thing#(which is kind of an achievement considering that wasn't too great in ac1 to begin with)#tho bc of that they kind of inadvertantly ended up implying that roshan is altairs ancestor which i actually kind of like lol#anyways sorry for this giant wall of text#this is probably (definitely) the longest post i've ever made lmsadjf#but i do think i've gotten most of it off my chest.... maybe#maybe ill add stuff if i come across something else that makes me angry lol#sorry i know i promised an essay and instead delivered a rant#i just dont think i have the capacity to actually structure my thoughts any better kajdsf
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Lloyd but itās just him calling his dad a centipede.
Lloyd was definitely one of those kids who loved insects. Even the gross and slimy ones.
Zane screamed in terror when he opened his arm hatch just to see a large, poisonous spider crawl out. He forgot he aināt human.
#lego ninjago#ninjago#ninjago lloyd#lloyd garmadon#ninjago zane#zane julien#spiders#ninjago headcanons#he was definitely one of those kids to chase people around with bugs#Kai was downright terrified#he once climbef Cole to avoid it#until both Kai and Lloyd realosed Cole was even worse#bro lowkey jumped on to the counter and started shaking#literally saying āstep away right nowā#jay is like Lloyd but less bad as him#since i headcanon him to have a pet poisonous spider#nya is like Kai but she hides it super well after having to get rid of spiders for kai ocer years#lloyd sobbed when he realised what she meant by get rid of#she woke up the next day with beatles#wu has made is so only jays spider is allowed after the green ninja prophecy was gonna be put to an abrupt end#nya is not sorry#neither is Lloyd#Poor Zane
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i'll write a proper long post about this thats more detailed eventually, but another deliberate way hannibal manipulated will in s1 is by blurring the lines between their therapy sessions conversations about will's emotions and killers' emotions/motivations.
for example:
will is frantic and traumatized by his hallucination of killing the girl that georgia madchen killed in 1x10. hannibal responds to that, then relates will's experience to the killers experience. uses the word delusion as a bridge. this prompts will to dig further into the killer's head. while he's responding, will is closing his eyes and staring off into the distance, as if he is seeing what the killer is seeing. then, using the word lonely as a bridge, he brings the subject back to will.
hannibal does this constantly.
even in episode two, the second time they had ever been alone in hannibal's office together, hannibal does this.
will is frantic and traumatized from his hallucination of hobbs in the grave of one of the mushroom garden people. hannibal just barely talks him down from it, then instantly changes the subject to the killer. forcing will back into the killer's head. then changes the topic to will again. blurring the lines between them, again, and again, and again.
#obviously this wasnt sadistic#i think at first hannibal was just curious what would happen if he fucked around like this#but then he arrived at the genuine belief that he was helping will through doing this#through what will told him in their sessions#man literally admitting to enjoying murder the first time he sat down in the stupid patient chair LOL#so will was definitely not 100% innocent from the start at all#hannibal just made him worse#or better depending on which perspective you look at it from#nbc hannibal#hannibal lecter#hannibal#will graham#hannigram#pluto analyzes#hannibal meta#hannibal analysis#buffet froid#amuse bouche#hannibal 1x10#hannibal 1x02
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Today I'm thinking about the degree to which a person is responsible for the loyalty they inspire in others.
To be more specific, I'm continuing my rewatch and thinking about the degree to which Franklin is responsible for the loyalty he has inspired in poor wee David Young.
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Young's death is a foregone conclusion, one that's been years in the making to the point where he thinks nothing of his gruesome symptoms, yes. But his lionisation of Franklin is also a not-insignificant factor in Young neglecting to speak up about his failing health.
"I didn't want to disappoint Sir John..."
Then, as he continues to decline, Young relinquishes any semblance of bodily autonomy he ever had. He's terrified at the thought of being cut open and examined, begs for Goodsir to promise to refrain from doing so. But again, his loyalty to Franklin wins out - he trusts completely that whatever Franklin orders must be for the good of the crew.
"If Sir John orders it I will do it..."
And even as death rapidly approaches, Young isn't entirely free in his own mind either. He's an extremely vulnerable young man, little more than a child really. He's 3000 miles from home. He's dying and there isn't a thing anyone can do to stop it. He's even separated from his fellow Terrors now, friends who clearly cared for his well-being and could have been at least a small comfort to him as he passed.
Young is so so frightened and he can't even fully admit to and confront that fact because of Franklin.
"And don't tell Sir John I was afraid..."
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I'm not sure yet what my point is really.
Young's loyalty and devotion to Franklin serves to make his death just that more desperate and traumatic than it otherwise would have been and it just feels like there ought to be consequences for that somehow. It feels like someone ought to pay for the tragedy of it all...
#And that's not even touching properly on Franklin's own actions#Having Young ferried about needlessly and eulogising him in the most hollow self-serving way possible etc. etc.#Perhaps Franklin isn't responsible for the loyalty he inspires#But he's definitely responsible for his carelessness and callousness in the face of that loyalty#For getting the love he so dearly craved and failing utterly to recognise or really appreciate it once he had it#And in doing so acting in a manner that made the situation worse still#I have more thoughts on this#(Don't I always?)#The Terror#The Terror AMC#The Big Terror Rewatch#S01E01#Go for Broke#David Young#Sir John Franklin#And of course it's a recurring theme throughout the story#Loyalty and devotion to the point of delusion#Loyalty and devotion that only begets misery in turn#Crozier serving an Empire and an Admiralty that is actively prejudiced against him#Gibson remaining devoted to Hickey and being slaughtered like an animal in return#Maybe even Stanley so beholden to his oath to do no harm that he's prepared to burn them all in hopes of saving further suffering#I could go on but I've made myself emotional enough already
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a notepad that slowly got turned into a journal
#ffxiv#haurchefant greystone#geese art#ocs#oc: kiriltugh#back when he was still a summoner heād go through at least three of these a month#and that only got worse when he had to start beefing up his spells due to the. well the everything#and then THAT got worse when all of a sudden he had to hold onto those letters from his good friend#for. you know. the important information on them. and nothing else#neowwwwā¦. my most important authorās note for this piece isssss#that tear was made after he had finished filling this one up.#my second most important note is any spelling mistakes are uhhhh definitely intentional kirilās bad at spelling#and itās not just really hard writing in a fantasy script LOL#heavensward kiril#I GUESS
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