#and I Am Humanities Person Cannot Do Science
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i really and truly believe that there are only two genuine human superpowers, both of which can be actively cultivated:
the ability to find anything interesting, ie the ability to reframe and reflect on any situation or encounter, even/especially negative or boring ones, so as to make what is happening to you interesting, engaging, and personally meaningful to your human experience. this habit of mind is mostly curiosity but it's also woven through with psychological flexibility, especially the ability to regulate your own emotional reactions so that you can respond to challenging or tedious situations in more thoughtful and values-aligned ways that develop your sense of self instead of making you feel trapped or bored or fragmented
the ability to teach yourself new things. idk maybe as a teacher i am biased but i really believe that the single most transformative gift you can give any human being is a deep understanding of how people learn and improve at things. what is more hopeful, more inspiring, or more life-affirming than the realization that you can learn new things at any age, and that the new things you learn (plus the joyful process of learning itself!) can utterly transform the way you experience the world and understand yourself? what is more amazing or incredible than the realization that learning things is not a mysterious & passive process that happens to you but a reasonably consistent set of steps and tools that you can learn how to master and apply to virtually any skill or domain of human knowledge? the superpower of being able to learn/improve at anything you set your mind to… but also the superpower inherent in that quiet unwavering certainty that even if you feel stuck at various points in your life, you have within yourself the capacity to get unstuck through learning and changing and growing and experiencing new things. wowowowowowowow!!!!! what an extraordinary gift!!!!
#i did a classroom observation this week#in a mid-level environmental science research methods course#and at other points in my life i would've been either bored stiff by this experience or terrified because Science Is Hard#and I Am Humanities Person Cannot Do Science#but i actually found myself getting really fascinated by some of the stuff they were doing#i think combined with all the scientific studies i've been reading over the past six months related to fertility stuff#and i was like oh wait like#i could see myself going back and doing a bachelor's degree in a science field#like yeah this is unfamiliar to me & i have a lot of baggage around being Bad at STEM#but actually through doing lots of work with researchers & learning how research works in my own field#i think i've absorbed an understanding of some of the habits of mind science values#and i feel confident enough in my understanding of how people learn new things#that i bet i could apply that knowledge to learning disciplines that previously seemed Off Limits to me#anyway idk just#what a joy it is to be a thinking learning human in the world#how lucky are we!!!!!
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Super important question. Do you think Yakumo is ticklish?
wait hold on i have to look this up
#scrunches my face in serious contemplation while i scroll thru the results#my instinct said no#and upon reading the results for ARE SNAKES TICKLISH#seems like snakes ...according to the science so far... cannot feel ticklish#they may have sensitive areas that will make them go >:\ ???? or :O?!?!? if u touch em#making me think about From The Earth Nectar again#where yakumo (human version) is a bit sensitive after moulting#so he was actually a bit ticklish with his fresh skin. yeah. i'll incorporate that into my headcanon#my urge to stay somewhat true to science banishes me to the Boring Corner where yakumo isn't ticklish#especially not as a snake. but maybe in human form he gets a bit sensitive in certain areas#not like tickle torture level where you can poke his ribs and he'll yelp/start crying#but. uh. he's already so jumpy that he doesn't need to be ticklish to startle at an unexpected touch. you know??!#part of me DID consider... what if.. yakumo ticklish on his sides or smth#that's giving us another way to reduce him to tears............very tempting#for now i'll give him this ONE thing#this ONE advantage (?) in bodily control#i personally am not very ticklish so i'm also just going with the easiest-to-imagine headcanon#the few situations where someone manages to find a ticklish millimeter on me and i risk punching them out LOL#it's automatic and not a fun time for anyone involved#anon do you have thoughts about a ticklish yakumo?#are you about to open my eyes to another dazzling dimension?#nu carnival yakumo
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You are Universe looking back at itself
(Guys, brace yourself because it is not going to be your usual post.)
I don't know if you guys understand why it is "assumption".
The thing we see, hear, smell, touch, taste. They aren't real. I'm not trying to say the same thing again and again.
I'm not emotional blackmailing you to have faith in imagination in order to have your desires in 3D. But I'm telling you to have faith in imagination because it is the only truth. The source creation.
If the 3D is actually real and vivid as it seems,
there wouldn't be Ageusia, Dysgeusia, Color Blindness, Anosmia, Anaphia and literally tons other mental illness or disorders.
Dysgeusia: A condition where taste is distorted, leading to unusual or unpleasant flavors. Color blindness: A deficiency in color vision, usually involving difficulty distinguishing between certain colors. Dysacusis: A hearing disorder where sounds are distorted or unclear, making them hard to understand despite normal hearing. Anosmia: The total loss of the sense of smell, often caused by damage to the olfactory system Anaphia: The loss or impairment of the sense of touch, often due to nerve or brain damage.
Similarly between them?
"In short, they all relate to disruptions in the way the body processes sensory information."
Now, what proves that our entire lives that what we feel is not a distortion?
our brain? the only thing that distorts?
science? the thing is which is created by human brain?
These disorders happens due to a change in neural pathway in brains or due to medical treatment of which it affects the brain of some people which alters their entire reality.
People with color blindess don't know that their brain cannot see certain colors until other people make that person aware. Only then, the person with the color blindness gets aware of their condition, so till then... That person assumes that is their reality because that's what consciousness does.
So now, what if everyone on earth had color blindness?
It would simply just be the 'true reality'.
Brain provides distortion and consciousness accepts which then repeated becomes a belief in deep subconscious mind.
Nothing is "truth". We don't actually see 3D but the brain repeats us the old assumptions again and again.
That's why 3D is a reflection of our own mind.
The assumptions doesn't affect the 3D but becomes the 3D.
Assumptions are the true reality, 4D is the true reality.
Whether new or old, there is no "true reality" out there. (link)
There is no active 3D existing. Everything is 4D. Your so called material world is just interpreted by your brain through sensory nerves. You were always living in your head.
"Oh but why do need something external like water if we only live in our head?"
Because you exist in a physical body at this moment. Your body needs it. You don't. So you can actually shift to a reality where you don't need water.
Our physical never had to suffer or endure pain, we were provided with abundant water, minerals, trees which ripe fruits, vegetables, human physical and mental strength to power other creatures since the dawn.
"Oh then why do we innovate new physical objects if it already exists in 4D?"
Because we are source of creation. Our imagination, 4D. We don't just create out of no where. Just like how the airplane was a fantasy of the Wright brothers before it came into existence. We imagine something, we drive in creating.
Everything that is existing right now is a fantasy of the creator.
We are a mere fantasy of I am.
We are the I am conceived in human form who then forgot ourselves and became a dream character.
When we are first born, our subconscious develops at 6months. The duty of subconscious is solely to protect and serve you. The baby in the womb knows how to suck milk from the mother. Your subconscious protects you now and forever, you then develop consciousness which has the possibility to change the subconscious belief considering changes in adaptation in surroundings and to mend with the society.
That's why kids are very 'spongy' from 6-8yrs. Their conscious and subconscious both are developing together. This is where their majority life's belief starts forming deep onto their subconscious.
(Your subconsciousness is why you are here, making you able to read this at the moment. Heart beat, lungs functioning etc. It developed long ago and is consciously listening, it can't process every thoughts like consciousness, it just simply takes you as the dominant thought)
You get adapted to 3D and forget about 4D.
So it becomes 3D-> 4D->3D (old assumptions becomes 'true'.)
instead of 4D-> 3D-> 4D (you create assumption, your own reality which then becomes the 'true').
You are only truth, I am.
Whatever state you associate yourself with after that is an illusion that you can choose to be.
Anything is possible to I am.
You were/are/will be void forever.
You are whatever you desire and get conscious of.
#affirm and persist#consciousness#live in the end#loa blog#loablr#barbs111claims#neville goddard#non duality#awareness#lester levenson#anti shifters dni#shiftblr#shifting blog#shifting stories#reality shifting#loass#loass post#loassblog#loass states#loassumption
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hi sorry i don’t go here anymore but i feel a lot of things about the tommyinnit video and i have a lot of bit ideas and i just. i need to make a numbered list
1. obsessed with how his go to story was always “kids in school bullied me for minecraft videos” (bad, awful, sorry this happened) and not “i specifically asked for my teachers to play my minecraft let’s plays in the middle of science”. this is soooo positive and kind and affectionate because this is both something i do now (lie abt personal stories on the internet) and something i repeatedly did as a kid (deliberately got myself into Embarrassing Situations trying to mix internet and irl. i have stories too thomas….)
2. his middle name is michael. LOSER. whos name is michael. only. losers
3. i was like “wow foolish and quackity are in here a lot” until i realized that he Cannot Show Anyone Else. 75% of dsmp clips contain at least One racist and/or convicted felon
4. this guy Cannot keep fading to black and sighing. every transition it’s another fucking fade to black. Please just cut to black please just cut please just cut please please please please
5. THE TOMMY NEG CAMEO……. suddenly it was 2021 and i was on twitter at 4am and my moot was asking me if i hated philza and cheated on my girlfriend bc a random swiftie faked messages with me to be in a joke group chat i was in that dr*am got added to but never actually joined. sorry this isn’t about me but hey that was Fucking wild
6. TOMMYINNIT HAS HAD TWO GIRLFRIENDS???? I AM 20 YEARS OLD GAY AND HOT AND HES HAD 200% MORE PLAY???????? sorry. Sorry.
7. i fuck w the djo! I am crying real human tears though
8. he found himself thru stand up comedy…….. be yourself because then you’ll get more views…………. he is so wise……. i must become the most famous man in nottingham…………..
that’s all. i don’t think half of these classify as bits. this is like a React video but on tumblr which is somehow worse than a react video. doesn’t matter. It’s all love
#tommyinnit#tom simons#shutupmac#numbered list#recovering inniter#mcyt#dsmp#dream smp#^for dnis. Sorry back to cartoon yaoi and The Horrors now#edited to fix my Numbered List. i had two fours on there and that Simply would not do#The Recollections
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hi! i was wondering your opinions on how hrt affects the body? i hold a lot of radfem beliefs but i am trans (taking testosterone). would being a woman to you have to be completely about chromosomes? for example, trans men years on T do not have the same genetic makeup as cis women. same with trans women on E, their genetic makeup would be very different to cis men, and would more correlate to cis women. does this factor in who you consider female/male or having experience as women?
Hi there, thanks for reaching out.
Firstly, I think you may be a bit confused. Taking exogenous hormones does not affect your genetic makeup. Your dna will stay the same unless you're exposed to something extreme like radiation - this is a good thing because dna mutation is bad for you and causes cancer! Your genetic sex is immutable, a person with XY chromosomes cannot have their dna altered to have XX chromosomes instead.
Hormones will affect the expression of your genes, for example turning on facial hair production in women who are taking testosterone. This is why those patterns of facial hair, even in women, differ from person to person. The genes for it were already there, but hormone replacement therapy uses the endocrine system to change what signals get sent to your genes to tell them what features to express.
Beyond chemically induced genetic expression, there are particular physical features in males that do not occur in males, and vice versa. This is a feature of the /ancient/ evolution of sexual reproduction. Despite the variety of metaphysical beliefs about identity and personhood, the truth is that humans evolved to reproduce between two sexes, and human beings cannot change sex. Every cell of your body has your sex encoded within it. This affects us physically in many ways. I and most feminists believe that this fact should be irrelevant to any person's ability to pursue their passion, be themselves, and love who they love. Even so, recognition of biological sex is something important. This is really critical in a medical context. For example: men who receive a blood transfusion from a pregnant or recently pregnant woman have an increased risk of death by transfusion-related lung injury. Another example: tracheostomy tubes differ in size depending on sex due to dimorphism in average tracheal diameter. A women who is reported as a male risks considerable injury by having a male sized tracheostomy tube forced into her windpipe. A considerable amount of medications differ in dose effectiveness and side effects based on biological sex. Something as straightforward as a heart attack has different symptoms depending on if the patient is female or male. Denial of biological sex is dangerous, and as it stands, medical science has not advanced enough to change the biological sex of an individual. If you are born male, you will stay male for your entire life. You say that a transwoman who has taken estrogen is more genetically similar to a woman, I'm sorry but that simply isn't true. A male person will always be more genetically similar to other males than to a female person.
Determination of sex is very simple, it's about the easiest genetic test to do. They have kits for high school classrooms to try out ffs. We need to leave the "meaningful sex change is possible through medical intervention" thing in the past, all we accomplish with that is giving people false hope and an unattainable goal to fixate on. Sex is real and immutable, I wish it didn't matter, but it does.
And why it matters is, maleness and femaleness have become inseparable from certain stereotypes and assigned qualities by societies in human history. Overwhelmingly, the male people subjugate the female people. Since men, male humans, discovered womens' ability to give birth could be taken advantage of, it was capitalized upon. And this is the foundation of patriarchal society. Religions were founded to justify this as the will of god. To deny that women have historically been persecuted due to their sex is, well, misogynistic. There is no "woman feeling" that makes us targets for child marriages, FGM, trafficking/prostitution, and other horrors from the minute we're born and even before. No, it's the sex we were born with that makes the world think it can decide our fate. In fact, the way that people treat male children differently from female children is so different so early, that we are genuinely unable to study human behaviour unaffected by gendered expectations. This is what feminists are talking about when they discuss "socialization". There is not a single man on the planet who knows exactly what it's like to see the world from a woman's eyes, no matter how feminine that man is. Womanhood isn't something you can achieve or acquire through effort: you were either born a woman or you weren't, just like you were either born with detached earlobes or not. It's so simple.
All that to get to my final point: Yes, I believe the definition of womanhood comes down to biology, because anything beyond that is a meaningless stereotype. Women can do anything, be anyone, look any way they want, go through any experience they do. The one thing they have in common is that they are female adult human beings. There is not way to fail at being a woman or do it wrong, you just are. Womanhood is the experience of having been a female person in this world, and nothing else. There are certain things only female human beings need, like abortion and female contraceptive rights, access to spaces where we can be safe from our subjugators (male human beings), and the ability to define ourselves and fight for our collective rights.
(At this point you may object and point out that male people who identify as trans women are also subject to violence and scorn from men: unfortunately that is often the case, but this does not make male people who identify as women, well, female. We need solutions for them that do not involve requiring women to sacrifice our comfort and safety for the sake of a particular subset of men, because of the inherent risks involved and the fact that women do not owe men anything even when those men have it bad.)
One last thing: my opinion is that prescribing exogenous cross-sex hormones is unethical (so are all elective cosmetic medical procedures but that's a post for a different day). I understand the distress that gender dysphoria inflicts on people, however the ill effects of hrt are too numerous to condone. The huge increase in risk of stroke with estrogen, heart disease and uterine atrophy with testosterone, and the way that trans medicine studies are notorious for losing followup with patients after a year or less... it's short sighted and frankly, financially motivated. The amount of trans patients who are prescribed hormones without access to an endocrinologist, it's honestly infuriating. People deserve the best care possible, not lab rat bullshit where they cut you loose when it's not working out. I won't judge anyone for what they do to themselves to cope with distress, but I want everyone, especially girls, to be aware of the lifetime effects medical decisions may have, and that you also can find happiness within yourself without hurting your body.
Thanks again for your question, be well ✌️
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Hi everyone. Obviously everyone has seen the news and read the polls and obviously you can tell that we’re likely cooked.
For some reason our country wants to elect the Mango Menace and his gaggle of orange stained goons once again.
I am terrified for myself, my loved ones, my country, our climate, and just everything.
However, I’d like to tell the LGBTQIA+ community these things because I know we are terrified right now.
What happened today, it’s devastating. It angers me too. Some of my closest family voted for that horrible man. I don’t think I can look at them the same way anymore. Especially, when they hold no guilt or remorse about it even after I explained his policies to them. What do I know, I guess.. 🤷🏻♂️🙄
However, as a queer, trans man in this little community, I want ALL of the LGBTQIA+ people who will see this post to know that things will be alright. We all have each other. We know we exist here in the states even if none of us have met. We EXIST.
Just because those orange stained dunderheads want to silence us doesn't change the fact that we exist. We do. We always will. Bigotry cannot fight facts and science. We'll always exist. The only time trans people won't exist is when the human race dies out. Even then, we have other animal species that are queer and trans. No matter what, we will always exist in nature. They cannot change that. They cannot take that from us. Do not lose hope. Even though it's really fucking hard not to.
Do not lose it. The fact that you and I exist is a beacon of hope to another trans and queer person. We exist. None of us want to be left here alone. So we must go on. We must continue to exist. Things WILL be okay. I'll always keep fighting and living for you and every one of my trans and queer brothers, sisters, and siblings.
You existing and simply being here is a beacon of hope to me. Someone who has understands how I'm feeling. Someone who is LIKE me but so different at the same time.
In the grand scheme of the universe, we are very small. However, even though it's small, the fact is that it EXISTS. It's so fucking small in this big void of the cosmos but we're here. We're made of similar components as stars, ones that had to die for us to exist.
I like to think of the sky as when humanity was truly equal. When we were just atoms in the big ol' void, ya know? We didn't fight. We didn't give a shit about all of this stuff. We were allll different types of stars and matter. We were all random as hell, but we just WERE. We coexisted peacefully together in the universe.
Now that those stars are dead as a door nail and some dumb fishy bastard decided to get curious and walk on land, we're all human. Humanity fucking sucks ass sometimes but it's also such a beautiful fucking thing. No matter what happens, a part of us will always exist.
Our existence is embedded in the universe. Nothing can change that. So, please keep living. Be safe, but keep living. Always keep fighting. We belong here just like anyone else.
You belong. You are loved. You are cherished. You are noticed by me and other people here. We all understand each other. So keep going. Again, one day we will all have a better tomorrow. I swear to fucking god or whatever the hell is out there, if anything, however it's unlikely, I will ALWAYS keep fighting for you and WITH you.
Every protest l attend. Every petition I sign. Every time I vote. Every time I go to pride. Every time l simply leave my home as I am. I am doing it for you and all of us. Our people WILL have our damn tomorrow. I'm sick of us not having it. I swear to you we will. So, again, please keep going. Keep fighting. Keep living. Exist. Your existence may be a threat to some bigoted fucker but your existence is precious to someone else. Please do not let them take your right to exist away from you. Keep going.
We’ll have a better tomorrow, the one that we deserve eventually, but we just need get through the hard, bumpy, dirty road first.
Again, we will be okay. Everything will be okay. We’ll get through it. Yes, unfortunately, we will likely see suicide rates and hate crime rates go up and that's disgusting and just all types of awful and depressing. It angers me beyond words.
However, we are strong.
We shouldn't have to be strong though.
What we should be and need to be is loved, accepted, warm, fed, have shelter, and are safe.
For now though, we remain strong. You will always have a place here.
You will live. You will not die, hun. I know the thought creeps in and believe me, I understand. Those thoughts creep in for me too, but we must learn to try to control them. If there's anything I know about us trans and queer folk it's that we're strong, feisty, kind, very sexy, and cheeky as hell. So, if we live, we live because it's our damn right and to be spiteful. We do not owe the people who want to harm us our lives. We just don't. We deserve healthcare. We deserve to love and get married.
We deserve to grow old.
You will grow old. You will be able to go on those trips you've always wanted. You will be able to have that cheesy romance you've always wanted, if you are someone who is wanting a relationship.
You'll be able to sit down and watch your favourite movie. Why? Because you stayed. You didn't give up. Ever. We will always exist.
We will ALWAYS live.
Being transgender has existed before humans even walked this earth and it will still exist when all of us book our holy bus tickets and the blessed holy tax collector comes to collect our debted souls. No matter what, we will live on. They can silence us all they want and erase whatever the fuck they want but that doesn't mean that it's the truth. We're HERE.
We've been here since forever ago. Those Cheeto dusted dunderheads cannot change that. Like I told another person here, other animals and even plants are trans and queer! We've always been here. That won't change, hun.
Everything WILL be okay. We'll always survive and live on. Look at how far we've come in these past years. Many of us thought that we'd be gone already but here we are, two trans people typing away in comment sections on an app where middle age men get off to octopus porn and neko ladies in Japanese school girl outfits because men. and welcome to the internet, I guess. Lmao.
Everything will work out on way or another. We'll have our tomorrow, hun. For now, we gotta buckle down because we're in for a bumpy ride but hey, thankfully on bumpy you have those moments where ya hit the bump just right and you're like
"WOAH, HELLO!- mister bump, you better watch yourself, you saucy boy~ You can't be doin' that. You better take me to dinner first." Lmao. Okay, on a more serious note, we just gotta buckle down together and get through this bumpy ass dirt road because after awhile you make it through that rocky dirt road in the woods and come out to feel smooth pavement again. It'll be alright. We just need to band together and make it through. We all are always stronger together. You're not alone, my friends.
You're talkin' to a guy who has the personality of a gay muppet with a big mouth. I'm shocked nothin’ has happened to me yet with my yappy ass screeching and getting over 80+ gay people to start baa-ing like sheep at a bigot at last year's pride event, but that's a wholeeeee different situation.
My point is, we'll be okay. We'll make it through.
You'll survive. You have me. You have everyoneeeee here and on other social forums. Sure, it's not the same as in-person interactions but it's somethin'. It’s better than nothing I guess. If we’ve gotta go stealth mode eventually and make secret groups for us trans and queer folk, then so be it.
Just do whatever you feel you need to do to keep yourselves safe.
We'll have a better tomorrow. We just need to keep pushing through this rough shit. We'll get out of the woods and onto smooth pavement with open skies eventually.
Continue to exist. Fight. Be safe, but live. Live for yourself, fellow trans people, and simply for spite.
Fuck bigots. Not actually though. Like DON'T fuck them. Who knows where they've been. But fuck them. They're not worth your life. Their bigotry is not worth your life. Live because it's your right.
Those guys are all so far up Donald Trump’s ass he fired his doctor and hired his supporters to give him a colonoscopy.
So, live long. Live for love and live for spite, my friends. We'll get through this.
It’s Trump 2: Electric Boogaloo. SPOILER: The first movie sucked too. They even tried to make a third one — Mango Menace Strikes Back! We didn’t want to come to the theatre to see the second one but it was a class field trip that most of America signed for us. So, we’ve allll got no choice but to go on the trip to the cinema.
Anyways, things will be okay. We’ll make it through. We’ll out get it figured out. We always do. We’ll take care of each other. Everything will be alright. 🤙🏼💛⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️✨
(Sorry for typos and repetitive speech- it’s 4:14 a.m. EST. 😭😭)
#us politics#donald trump#2024 presidental election#Trump 2: Electric Boogaloo#Mango Menace#Mango Menace Strikes Back#donald john trump#what even is America?#2024 elections#election 2024#2024 presidential election#president trump#kamala harris#vote harris#harris walz 2024#usa news#usa#america#I’m an atheist but Lord help us-#fuck donald trump#vice president loveseat#jd vance#presidential election#kamala for president#2024 presidential race#us presidential election#us propaganda#us presidential race#november election#america is fucked
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One type of fanfic i just cannot read is future Anya fics because they always get her wrong. And i get it this is just how future fics work but i feel it's important to remember that Anya is only the way she is currently because she is a child and to me on of the most important parts of the story is how much being adopted by Twilight changed her life and put her on the trajectory for growth that she otherwise would have been denied.
Anya is only stupid today. She is going to grow into a brilliant girl regardless of what happens. It always feels so regressive seeing her be portrayed as childish and clueless even after living with a spy and attending Eden for 10+ years.
To understand why Anya is going to become smart you have to understand why she is stupid first.
(note: i am not referring to academic intellect but rather social skills, logic, reasoning and general awareness. Whether or not Anya spends the rest of her life failing maths and writing like she's having a stroke is beyond me and completely irrelevant to my point)
One of the major issues with the computer science world is AI and Data Analytics because for decades people have been pouring time and money into developing these sophisticated computers that are able to accurately emulate the human mind and intelligence to be used in automation and data processing. They’re now left with 2 issues: Big data (so much unprocessed data that has been gathered and sat uninterpreted) and human-dependent AI (AI systems that are overly reliant on human interaction they become more of a hassle than an aid). In other words the computers are very smart but they just don’t know what to do with all the information and in the end just return garbage.
Anya has a similar dilemma. She is very capable. Her mind reading abilities enable her to gather information like no other the problem is she doesn’t actually know how to use that information in a meaningful way. Throughout the manga we see her attempting (and even succeeding) to use her powers for her own advantage. But because of her age and lack of education the ways she can use her powers are limited.
Anya shows great attention to detail and clearly has good hindsight. She’s somewhat reactive but it’s obvious she still considers what impact her actions may have in the long term, she’s always trying to make the best move she just doesn’t know that many moves and her imagination is juvenile. We regular see Anya trying to gain intel on Damian so that she can use it to get closer to him and progress on plan B.
One example is with the dogs, she thinks if Damian sees she has a dog that they will have something to talk about and hopefully he’ll want to spend more time with her. The problems comes with Anya’s thinking and it hinders her approach. Rather than view it as an opportunity to find commonality she sees at a chance to impress him, and in the end it fails because Damian sees her as just trying to brag and show off rather than trying to make a genuine connection. Anya acts this way because she’s 5 and doesn’t really know how to socialize or relate to people.
In this situation she had two important pieces of information: 1) Damian has a dog that he likes and 2) Damian struggles with making friends and thinks everyone is just trying to exploit him. It’s that second part she fumbles and ends up making Damian feel even more guarded around her. She doesn’t have the fully developed emotional intelligence to understand and relate with Damian in a way that’s actually beneficial. But the thing is she can learn.
And so when you write future fics of Anya and she’s still the same erratic braggadocios little girl you’re effectively overlooking on her best traits, her awareness. Anya isn’t stupid she just doesn’t know how to be smart and that’s what makes her act so stupid.
For me, when writing future Anya, I think of all the people in her life, their specific skills and strengths and how Anya can use those to become a better more well rounded person. Specifically, Twilight and Handler. The Handler thing is more of a hc but Twilight has shown interest in Anya beyond the mission.
One of my favourite scenes is when they’re looking out the window and he asks to try and guess which person so most likely to be a spy, she assumes it’s the person who looks the strangest but he explains that a good spy is able to blend it and stand out the least. This changes Anya’s understanding of human behavior, it teaches a good trick to going unnoticed and gives her a detail to look out for when trying to find a mole/spy. It’s a small moment but it provides a lot of information that she can use later on in her life. Although nothing like that really happens again we can assume he continues to give her little tidbits of advice and information on espionage work as well as her seeing him in action (not really in a mission but just the way he operates) will teach her how to interpret situations in a way that can actually help her.
So not only does Anya have access to a lot of information, she knows the value of the information and she’s learning how to use that information. And that’s why I’m always confused when people write her in the future and she still can’t figure out that Damian likes her. ITS NOT REALISTIC.
And I’m not saying she’s gonna become all cool and suave when she grows up. I don’t think her personality is going to change much. In fact I think she’s going to deliberately avoid changing her personality, or at least her public persona. Anya will use people’s perception of her as childish and stupid to make herself less suspicious and trustworthy. (Also I don’t think she’s gonna change that much anyways bc that’s not how people work) but when thinking for her perspective she’s gonna be more aware and observant.
This rant is gotta long and it’s kinda nonsensical so I’m gonna stop here but please stop writing Anya as a stupid adult. It’s annoying and so boring.
But in the end it’s your fanfic do what you want 🥰❤️
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Thinking about blasphemy and Good Omens right now and I can't help but notice an interesting phenomenon around some discussions I've seen about the Second Coming and Jesus Christ being a character in S3.
Namely, I see much more underlying discomfort around the possibility of the show poking fun at the figure of Jesus Christ than I do with any other prediction discussion or discussion around religion in the show.
On the one hand, I completely understand how poking fun at the Antichrist dogma from Revelations doesn't feel particularly blasphemous, where poking fun at Jesus does. The Antichrist is a stock character of horror at this point. Many more disrespectful teams than Gaiman and Pratchett have played with that story. It's barely even considered poking fun at Christianity to have Adam, the son of Satan, be a good kid in Good Omens. But Jesus is a very important figure to Christians all over the world. There are devout Christians who truly love Jesus and no one wants to be a jerk by just outright disrespecting a figure that is dear to so many.
But on the other hand, expecting Good Omens to not make fun of Jesus is a bit absurd to me. Literally saying, "I don't think the satirical religion show is going to satirize religion because it might upset people." Gaiman hasn't shied away from messing with religion or religious bigots before. He gleefully shrugged off attacks over God being a woman, or Adam and Eve being portrayed by people of color.
The Book of Job is lampooned in Season 2. I know it doesn't feel like it to many people here, but the reinterpretation of the Book of Job in S2 definitely registers as blasphemy on some religious scales. It is satirizing a religious text after all.
Saying that angels and demons fall in love and worse, have that love be portrayed by actors of the same sex could be seen as blasphemy at the very least on the level of saying God is a woman. And by the way, it's not like these religious texts say "God is whatever you want the entity to be" or "God is a woman if that makes you happy". Hell no, the Bible is extremely damn clear on God being male. The official position of the Catholic Church is that God is male. Official Catholic dogma is incredibly anti-female in terms of inherent holiness, women cannot become priests, even nuns are dependent on a priest to deliver the Sacraments, it's a huge deal and they are not planning to change any time soon and it is totally unambiguous.
Making God explicitly female might not seem like a big deal since films like Dogma, another religious satire, did it in the 90s but to True Believes in the official doctrine, that is a form of blasphemy.
Good Omens is by definition a blasphemous work. How offensively blasphemous it is really depends on the devoutness of the viewer. And I find it interesting the extent to which there's something of a knee jerk, "Oh they won't do that!" in terms of further satirizing religion in the show about religious satire. As if Jesus hasn't been satirized in other mainstream movies before like the aforementioned Dogma or Life of Brian.
And here's the thing, my personal opinion is? Blasphemy is good! Blasphemy laws on the books mean it's ok to punish, hurt, or even kill a person for making fun of religion or just doing the religion wrong. Human progress has been frozen in place by blasphemy laws, sciences have progressed when blasphemy laws ease or often while deliberately concealing their efforts from authorities in places where blasphemy laws or laws that were otherwise based on the dominant religion exist.
If anything, I am actually a bit uncomfortable with the idea that Good Omens should hold back on lampooning a figure like Jesus Christ. If devout Christians will make laws that determine what other humans can do with their bodies based on their religion, then their religion should absolutely be open to outright mockery without punishment or ramification to anyone. Of course on an individual level I wouldn't wish to be offensive to someone sincerely religious but at the same time, I am also violently anti-censorship of any kind. And blasphemy and religious mockery are often right at the heart of censorship debates.
The world is a better place when we can openly mock religion.
I'm not going to caveat that as an opinion. Being able to openly and without fear discuss, criticize, and mock religion is an incredibly important part of any free society. The battles over this right have been vicious and bloody and are actively ongoing around the world. Just as an example, anti-blasphemy laws were on the books in Ireland until 2020, there was a huge campaign to have them removed because other countries were pointing to them as an example of why they should keep and exercise such laws.
My point is that I suppose this is something of hyperbole or alarmist or overly strident. I can understand people wanting to be decent about not openly mocking a figure of such importance to so many like Jesus. But quite honestly? I hope Good Omens does whatever it pleases with mocking Jesus. I hope they don't hold back. I hope people remember that being able to mock religion is really important, especially when representatives of that religion are actively trying to clamp down on the rights of others.
And honestly, if religious people are offended they should just not watch or they should develop a thicker skin if they expose themselves to such discourse. Religion and Christianity in particular is an active part of the public sphere. It is worthy of discussion. Public discourse often includes mockery, especially of the powerful and of powerful forces that steer the course of nations, like Christianity.
And I think it's important for Good Omens fans, who are a very progressive group, not to cherry pick and moralize over what satire or blasphemy is permitted. All satire should be permitted. All blasphemy should be permitted. The religious bigots don't care if you think God being a woman is ok but making fun of Jesus isn't. It's all the same, anything but glowing praise is criticism to some of these forces. Open discussion is far more important and yes, that includes mockery, and silly discussions in a silly show about an angel and a demon who avert the Apocalypse and fall in love.
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hey! intro post here :)
are you having a panic or anxiety attack? or just feeling upset? tap or click here
here is a link to the trevor project (a helpline for queer youth) if you are struggling. remember you deserve love and recovery :)
okay, a bit about me:
my name: you can call me em, ollie, or oliver!
my pronouns: he/they, for the most part, but i actually really like fae/xe/ey too :)
terms you can use for me: masc stuff is great, gender neutral good too! sir, mister (mr), boy, bro, dude, mage (mg), handsome, cute, manly, masc, and pretty/beautiful is okay
a few labels i use: bisexual, genderfluid, transmasc, demiromantic, and i think polyamorous!
my age: i am a minor. don’t be gross.
DNI: if you’re sending asks for donations, pedophiles, just here to be mean, sex blogs
my birthday: april 8th! i’m an aries :3
i also have a poetry blog! @emilems-poetry
some other stuff you might want to know:
i’m 5’0!
i earned a black belt in taekwondo.
single, but in a situationship
i cannot play any instruments but would like to learn guitar one day
i’m a norwegian forest cat therian (i think) but i’m fine with being called human/person too - i have a therian blog. you'll find it.
adhd, autism (undiagnosed) and therapist says i might have ocd
if you want my spotify or pinterest (or scratch) dm me (it's something i'm willing to share but not like with the entire world lol)
music i like: harry styles, 1D, hozier, noah kahan, chappell roan, sabrina carpenter, taylor swift, the amazing devil, + a lot more
fandoms i am in: gravity falls, warrior cats, heartstopper, brooklyn nine nine, only murders in the building, a good girls guide to murder, the hunger games, ride the cyclone (kinda), + more
some of my interests: poetry, drawing, digital art, writing, reading, french, veterinary sciences, the human body, psychology, hebrew, spanish
PLEASE:
ask me stuff! i love answering questions
message me if you think i’m cool!!
send me art and poetry!!! it’s so awesome to look at :3
interact w me! i love talking to yall and i don't bite that often
if i say/do something that upsets you, let me know! i try to do my best to be inclusive and kind but sometimes i mess up so help me out :)
this is my favorite post on this website, a slight tw for self harm, but aside from that it might help if you're feeling down :)
i think you’re pretty awesome!! :) (especially trans, intersex, aromantic, agender, and asexual individuals!)
i love my moots more than the world!!!
here's a list of some of them
@hotteststar my first moot and fellow bisexual :)
@rins-batcave my reason /p
@raeprise mon cœur /p
@sparky4577 my brother (not irl but i wish)
@star-dust-shark and @crowwolf8 my favorite animals fr
@crowofthestars just really fuckn cool. go follow them!
@thecrazyalchemist my bestie with the coolest name(s) ever
@mrblazeflappybird my cool uncle essentially
@wishiwereheather13 my really cool moot im too nervous to talk to (your banner is so cool btw. just sayin.)
@boldofyoutoassumeicanspell my wise gal i should talk to more
@holiday-spice my favorite seasoning (get it. cause his name is spice. lol.)
@daggerhobbit where i'd get a dagger if i needed one. very cool
@aflairforthemelodramaticc my father :)
if you'd like to be added to (or removed from) this list lemme know! i have so many mutuals and i love them all beyond words <3
#outing myself as a warrior cats kid#about me#pinned post#ollie’s saves#em’s saves#pinned post archive#em talks abt how short he is
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I have a new Spy x Family theory for you
Damian was born to be a project Apple kid, and Melinda knows.
It's been a pretty popular theory in this fandom that Donovan Desmond is somehow involved in Project Apple and the human experimentation because it would make sense from a story point of having the "main bad guy" be tied to Anya in some way. Upon further thinking about this I had the thought of why he would want to be involved in such a project. The answer came to me:
He is a power hungry warmonger. He wants a weapon he can control.
So, my theory is that Damian was born to be able to make him super-powered weapon and this theory makes sense considering Melinda's thoughts towards her son.
If we consider that Melinda is in on it, yet resents her husband and feels guilty about it, all of her spiraling thoughts can be understood.
Let's breakdown what Melinda says here considering this theory:
"If anything had happened to you I don't know how I'd..." React to it, would it be despair or relief?
"If only he died in the hijacking..." Then I would be free of this guilt that is plaguing me.
"How glad I am that he's safe." Because his death would jeopardize the plan.
"If only I weren't burdened with this child." If only this had never happened to me.
"So sweet how he puts on this brave front." How pitiful that he's still trying to maintain an image for me.
"My treasure." My sweet son.
"My curse." The guilt of what I have done and will do eats away at me.
"But in exchange you absolutely cannot let that man know I came here." You cannot let your father know that I actually care about you.
Assuming that this theory is true it makes sense why Melinda and Donovan seem to be so detached from Damian, yet still enrolled him into Eden and care about his safety. They need to maintain the image that they are a "normal family" for their status and can show that by putting Damian in a prestigious school. Additionally, they get the benefit of not having to take care of him directly by putting him in the dorms.
Why hasn't Damian already been experimented on? It seems they are waiting for the experiments to be completed or at least a little more fool proof. It's no coincidence that Anya is the only person we've seen so far with actual abilities as it's implied that the rest of the test subjects could not handle the procedure and died as a result.
This happening would also be a good juxtaposition to the Forger family. The Forgers are a family that is "fake" yet Loid and Yor would never take advantage or hurt Anya versus the "real" Desmond family that would let their son become a science experiment if it meant that Donovan could have more power.
Of course, there are missing details to this theory. We still haven't yet met Demetrius and don't know for sure that Donovan is involved in Project Apple, but I'd say this theory is a pretty safe bet.
I imagine that closer to the finale of the series we are going to have a mission where we have to go and save Damian which will involve the whole cast and lead to the conclusion of the series.
#another#spy x family#theory for you folks#i really believe in this one too#spy x family theory#damian desmond#melinda desmond#donovan desmond#nerd's words#spy x family manga#spy x family spoilers#spy x family speculation#sxf#sxf spoilers#sxf manga#i'm being really through with my tags on this one#long post
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Male werewolf x female human | Regency era | SFW but slightly suggestive | autumn fluff
Part 1 of Colin and Susannah | Part 2
“I do so love autumn leaves.” Susannah bent to pick one up, a crimson red brighter than fresh blood, and twirled the stem of it between her slender fingers. “I will never tire of their vibrant colors.”
“That’s fitting, for I believe you’re a painter, are you not?” Colin asked her.
Her face brightened with a mixture of surprise and pleasure. “Indeed I am. But I don’t recall telling you so. How did you know?”
“More than once when we have met, I have smelt paint upon you.” She lifted her hands to peer at her fingers, as if the paint were still upon them, and he smiled. “I do not smell any now, but even if you had washed off all visible traces of it, I might still be able to detect that it was recently there. Werewolves have a very keen sense of smell.”
Ah yes. Sometimes it was easy for her to forget that Mr. Barrington was a werewolf. Her eyes roved over his face, so perfectly human and normal, save for his golden eyes that seemed almost to glow. She wondered what he looked like in his wolf form, but did not feel they were acquainted well enough to ask such a thing. “Even in your human form?”
“My senses are a bit dulled in this form, but very little. Even like this, I can smell that you used rosewater in your hair, and you ate raspberry preserves with your breakfast.”
Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink over her freckles, and she reached up to wipe at the corners of her mouth. The werewolf chuckled. “Don’t worry, Miss Oakden, there is no jam still on you; I simply can smell it.”
Her eyes widened. He was the first werewolf she had ever been personally acquainted with, and she found him endlessly fascinating. Thankfully, he was always patient with her questions, never acting offended by them or mocking her ignorance. “That’s remarkable! How can you smell it if it is gone?”
He shrugged. “I don’t pretend to understand the science behind it. It is simply an innate skill I possess. I can smell many things I cannot see.”
For instance, he could smell that she was his mate.
He did not mention this out loud. She would not understand; as a human, he knew she could not smell mating bonds, as his kind could, nor even feel the bond beyond the faintest vague sensation. He did not wish her to think he only cared for her due to the bond, when in reality, it was his admiration of her as a person that had caused the bond to form, not some higher power dictating his feelings. Even though she must feel at least some degree of affection for him as well, in order to enable the start of that bond, she might not realize her own feelings yet, and he did not want to distress, frighten, or confuse her.
He could smell her matehood even now, intangible yet so very real, thick and sweet in the space between them as they walked beside each other along the garden path of her parents’ estate. It urged him to stay close to her and protect her. It urged him to touch her, lick her, mount her, bite her—to make her his.
But he kept his hands clasped behind his back and a respectable distance between them as they slowly strolled the grounds, colorful leaves rustling under their feet. He could wait to have her, while he courted her in the manner of a gentleman, as she would expect. He would earn her love the way a human man would.
And once he had it, he would claim her the way a werewolf male would.
~ 🐺🎩 ~
End of part 1 of Colin and Susannah | Part 2
Read all of my Regency monster ficlets and snippets at the tag #my writing.
#colin and susannah fic#my writing#fic#regency monster#regency#monster#regency romance#monster romance#monster love#monster lover#monster boyfriend#monster x human#werewolf x human#werewolf#werewolf boyfriend#oc
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i have a question for you, and i’m genuinely curious.
do you think womanhood should be defined by the ability to reproduce/have children rather than by living within the social role of womanhood, such as wanting to be called “she?” and for women who can’t reproduce, or who have had a hysterectomy, etc. are they still women? what about people who, in every way, have happily inhabited the role of being a man and even you would call them “he” if you didn’t know they were trans, but they could still technically give birth. is someone living fully as a man actually a woman because of one thing that their body could potentially do? is someone living fully and happily as a woman not a woman because of one thing their body cannot do?
i think these questions are good to think about, because it is just a fact that many trans women get called “woman” and “she” by strangers without a second thought, and they respond to that term and feel happy and comforted by it. throughout the whole interaction, there is no claim made about what genitals, dna, or birth-capabilities they have. you have probably had countless conversations like this too, where you were called “she” without having claimed anything about your body or anyone needing to verify. this is because the word “she” is not being used to refer to genitals etc, it is just being used to indicate that you look and act in ways that make you read to others as a woman. that is, most often, the truth being recognized.
with that in mind, it’s easier to see that, when a trans woman asks to be called she, the truth being told is “i like to be called she and seen as a woman,” not “i was born female and have the capacity to give birth and have xx chromosomes.” i have many close and dear trans friends, and none of them actually deny or disbelieve their own biology. in fact, they are painfully aware of their biology. they acknowledge the truth that certain hormones and surgeries can change some things about their body and not others, thus making it easier for them to integrate into the social role that feels natural for them. i have never heard a trans woman claim that hormones or surgery can let them give birth. all of my trans friends, are fully cognizant of the reality of their biology and the limited capacity of science.
what i see is you falling into a strawman argument, assuming that trans people believe false things about their bodies, like trans women claiming they can give birth or have xx chromosomes
it made me realize that maybe you hear the word woman and you think “birth giver, child bearer” rather than “full human person who’s body is none of my business and who chooses to inhabit the social role of womanhood.” i don’t blame you, because our patriarchal society has taught us that the former is all women are for. but as women, there are so many sexist messages we are taught that we have to unlearn. i mean, think of your own experience. wouldn’t you rather have other people see you as a whole person who has connection to womanhood, rather than just a source for babies? isn’t it more affirming to have people see your womanhood as the complex way you purposely and naturally step into the world and show up each day, rather than just a medical category that was thrust upon you at birth by a patriarchal medical system that wanted to determine who you would be? because i know what i prefer. and, in my experience, that is all trans women are asking.
anyway, i am just sending this out of curiosity, so lmk your thoughts. maybe we can have a conversation, but i won’t engage with hostility. i hope you’re having a nice day :)
Women are adult females. Men are adult males. The ability to have children has nothing to do with making someone male or female besides the fact that males biologically cannot get pregnant and birth babies. I am a woman and I’m choosing not to have children, that doesn’t make me less of a woman. The entire issue here is people are mistaking gender roles with gender. You can change your gender roles. You cannot change your gender itself. You are born with it.
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AI and copyright comment:
Look, I absolutely get the argument that there might not be a strict delineation we can make between the human brain experiencing a work of art and using that as inspiration, and a machine intelligence doing linear algebra on a piece of art and experiencing it as inspiration. I am very much of the opinion that what the human brain is doing is linear algebra (albeit with a number of algorithms we have not cracked yet) and that should we be able to replicate that on a machine, it would not be less possessed of creative thought than we are.
But my response to that is simple.
If the nature of input and output of a genuine artificial intelligence is indistinguishable from what the human brain is doing, then it should in fact be indistinguishable from what the human brain is doing under the law. That is, the artificial intelligence should be the person who has legal rights to the for profit use of their work.
If it is intelligent enough and possessed of enough agency to make its own decisions as a sovereign entity, it *and not the people who taught it* has the right to treat what it creates as a function of inspiration comma and not as a transformative action not permitted by intellectual property holders (and not meeting the for profit fair use exemption criterias).
Given that we are definitely not even a little bit close to that, I think we can treat this flavor of linear algebra as more similar to the existing body of linear algebra artistic transformations out there which are very much not protected for-profit fair use transformation under law. And that there is no circumstance under which the creators of a genuinely intelligent creative process should be given rights to the fruit of its intellectual labor rather than the genuinely intelligent creative entity itself.
Right now you are proposing that it should not even be legal for a human being to do by computer something I am pretty sure one would be permitted to do by hand; see my artwork example, in another post.
We don't even have a philosophically coherent definition of a sovereign entity; trying to enshrine such a distinction in law--nevermind one that didn't instantly create full human rights for everything with a nervous system--would be an incredible undertaking.
From where I'm sitting you are making wild demands of law that even the most arcane and ambitious fields of philosophy and cognitive science cannot meet, and somehow envisioning a consistent and fairly administered system will result. I think that's insane. I think the underlying philosophical framework you're operating on is incoherent and bad, but as a matter of actual policy what you want to do is impossible. As I said in another post, I'd be curious to see a proposed statute that would ban scraping the public internet to train MMLs and not create substantial adverse effects in terms of restrictive copyright laws in other domains, because I've never seen such a proposal. If you want to make even a token argument that what you're proposing is possible, point me at an example.
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I ended up blocking this person (and turning off reblogs on the original post cause it was annoying me and I don’t like the idea of having our face everywhere) cause while they seem to be pro-endo, they act like the DSM is the Bible and think CDDs are purely traumagenic, which isn’t true. You can be diagnosed with a CDD/be disordered and not be traumagenic. Trauma is not a requirement for CDDs, and CDDs are not trauma disorders. Claiming that is not misinformation. There are multiple professionals who have said this. CDDs don’t require trauma and plurality doesn’t require CDDs. Whether or not you have a CDD is based on how your system functions, not your origin.
Anyways they reblogged a TikTok where I basically said that in simplified terms (because systok is stupid) and they felt the need to tell me I’m wrong. Here’s what they said and my response
Now I’m not saying I can’t be wrong about this, because again, like I said, my whole main point is that the ToSD is just that, a THEORY, it cannot be solidly proven in an ethical or concrete way, therefore it’s just as possible CDDs DO only stem from trauma.
But at the end of the day, GENUINELY, how is it harmful to say that they don’t?
Because in that case, all that would mean is that most CDD systems would ALSO have C-PTSD, which they can still get treatment for, and they can still acknowledge influences their plurality the same way any other co-existing disorders and neurodivergences would. Then it ALSO doesn’t invalidate non-traumagenic systems who have CDDs.
Trying to say that I’m going against science or spreading misinformation or am “part of the problem” when LITERALLY my whole stance is “yes, CDDs are formed by trauma, no one is denying that, I’m just saying we cannot prove they are ONLY formed by trauma, and even if they are, other forms of plurality exist regardless.” Is stupid and is just adding MORE discourse and fighting where it is unnecessary.
Also, our system is a part of the pluralpunk movement. We aren’t huge fans of the medical system in general anyways. We don’t see the DSM or any kind of diagnosis for that matter as an authority over the human experience. Many professionals are still extremely misinformed and undereducated about many things, especially plurality. Which isn’t entirely on professionals, many things are under researched in general, but regardless. How many disorders get classified, diagnosed, and treated is kind of shit. None of these labels matter in the grand scheme of things anyways. But while these sorts of things are in place, disordered endogenic systems exist and are valid, and CDDs are NOT inherently trauma disorders.
#plural#pluralgang#plurality#pluralpunk#sysblr#multiplicity#anti sysmed#anti transmed#endo friendly#endo safe
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The Effects of DPDR (Depersonalization Derealization) On My Alterhumanity
[Warning: 1,000+ word essay below the break]
The connection between psychological abnormalities and alterhumanity has always been a significant and undeniable experience. I believe that more studies should be conducted to explore the relationship between mental health and alterhumanity. My own alterhuman experiences are closely tied to psychological challenges, and I strongly suspect that while alterhumanity cannot be fully explained by science, there may be substantial links to certain psychological conditions that contribute to it. This short essay will focus on the impacts of and connections between my identity and experiences with dissociation.
To begin, what exactly is DPDR? DPDR stands for Depersonalization-Derealization Disorder, a dissociative disorder that lies at the lower end of the spectrum of related conditions. Dissociative amnesia is in the middle, and at the most severe end is Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Depersonalization involves "experiences of unreality, detachment, or being an outside observer with respect to one’s thoughts, feelings, sensations, body, or actions." Derealization is characterized by "experiences of unreality or detachment with respect to surroundings." Together, these symptoms can leave individuals feeling numb, robotic, or as though their perception of reality is distorted. They may perceive the world around them as blurry, dreamlike, lifeless, or fake.
I have not been medically diagnosed with DPDR, although I have never seen a therapist or psychiatrist. I am considering seeking a diagnosis to ease my mind and potentially receive help. My research suggests that my experiences align perfectly with the symptoms of DPDR, and the condition has only worsened over time. I’ve spent the last few years feeling increasingly detached from myself, my surroundings, and my life in general. Everything feels unreal to me, like a dream or a TV show. Nothing seems truly to exist—myself, my actions, the people around me, and their actions all seem either scripted or entirely imagined.
So, what does this have to do with my alterhumanity? How does DPDR make me identify as nonhuman? It’s actually not the disorder itself, but rather the impact of the symptoms that influences me. My primary focus here is on the depersonalization aspect of the disorder, as it directly affects my sense of self. For me, depersonalization creates a profound sense of detachment and emptiness. I don't feel connected to my body or as though it truly belongs to me. While I don't dislike my appearance—I generally think it looks nice—I can't genuinely feel it as being "me." Most of the time, my mind feels empty, particularly when reflecting on myself. I struggle with "about me" projects because I can’t identify personal interests, hobbies, or personality traits. The few things I do know about myself have emerged only after the onset of DPDR. To cope, I immerse myself in work or creative projects. I often daydream about being fictional characters I’ve created, allowing me to embody someone with a defined personality, backstory, and identity.
This detachment from myself leads me to feel nonhuman. Typically, humans have a strong sense of identity, but I don’t. Humans are generally aware of who they are and how they fit into society; I’m not. Humans retain memories that shape who they are, but I don't. How could I possibly feel human if I don’t even feel real? Because of this lack of self-awareness, my mind attempts to fill the gaps with things that feel "right" to it—a fluffy tail I should wag when I'm happy, a collar I should be wearing, a walk I should be enjoying with my owner.
One of the few things I've been able to genuinely connect with is animals. Society and human interactions can be overwhelming for my dissociated mind. Growing up with a dog, I find my identity leaning heavily toward canines, though I still lack a solid self-image. I’m comfortable identifying as a dog, as that feels natural, but I’m not comfortable identifying as human (aside from biologically). This is where derealization plays a role. Concepts involving reality—whether something is physical, psychological, conceptual, or spiritual—are difficult for me to comprehend. Since some days nothing feels real, who’s to say that I’m not actually a dog? Why should having a human body matter if it doesn’t feel like me?
In short, my dissociation detaches me from my own humanity. Does this make my entire identity a disorder? Am I not truly a dog because this is all a construct of my mind? Could this even border on clinical kynanthropy? My personal answer is no, but honestly, the answer might be "possibly." The challenge with endelic and similarly caused alterhuman identities is that it’s nearly impossible to draw the line between what’s "real" or not, and asking someone with DPDR to define these things is like asking a four-year-old to solve an algebra problem. I barely understand what reality is—but when you think deeply about it, does anyone? My belief is somewhat divided. On one hand, I recognize that much of my alterhumanity is related to a potential disorder and therefore isn’t "real." But on the other hand, it’s a deeply personal and integral part of my own reality. At the end of the day, no science or logic can disprove the concept of nonhuman identity unrelated to biology, meaning this is, at the very least, not delusion based.
#alterhuman#alterhumanity#dpdr#nonhuman#nonhumanity#dissociation#therian#therianthropy#depersonalization#derealization#caninekin#holothere#a-r-yips
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I am going to try and put this in as few words as possible, because my roommate and I spent an hour talking about this today; but there is truly nothing more incredible to me than human creativity.
Like, you’re telling me someone made this? You’re telling me this art came from someone’s own hand? You’re telling me this story came from someone’s mind? You’re telling me that someone as flawed and mortal and lost as me made this?
There is a beauty in math and in science, I am not here to argue that. But mathematics existed long before us. Science will exist long after us. And while the knowledge we have is a wonder, it is not ours. We did not make one and one equal two, we only learned and accepted that it did.
But our art is not universal. Our music was born through us. Our writing will die with us. And there is so much more beauty in knowing that we have made something. People have language and culture and poetry not because it was fact, but by our own whim and design.
This is something AI can never fulfill. An algorithm cannot create, it can only compile. A computer generated image has no link to us, to human emotion. To human flaw and struggle and passion.
Art is beautiful, and creation is the most powerful thing a person can do. Your stories, your art, hell, your fanfic and original characters, they exist not because of universal laws of math and physics, but because of your mind and skill; and if that isn’t the most amazing thing in the world, then what is?
#late night philosophical rambles#late night thoughts#maybe I make no sense#idk#I will just never get over how incredible it is that we can make art#even content and stories I don’t like#they still have so much beauty because someone made it#someone created something#and fundamentally that is beautiful#art#writing#poetry#music#language#these exist through the human mind#even your fanfiction#your ocs#your fursona#it doesn’t matter if people think they’re strange#you MADE something#that something wouldn’t exist without YOU#without YOUR mind#and that is so fucking amazing!#philosophy#fuck ai art#ven diaries
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