#and I Am Humanities Person Cannot Do Science
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i really and truly believe that there are only two genuine human superpowers, both of which can be actively cultivated:
the ability to find anything interesting, ie the ability to reframe and reflect on any situation or encounter, even/especially negative or boring ones, so as to make what is happening to you interesting, engaging, and personally meaningful to your human experience. this habit of mind is mostly curiosity but it's also woven through with psychological flexibility, especially the ability to regulate your own emotional reactions so that you can respond to challenging or tedious situations in more thoughtful and values-aligned ways that develop your sense of self instead of making you feel trapped or bored or fragmented
the ability to teach yourself new things. idk maybe as a teacher i am biased but i really believe that the single most transformative gift you can give any human being is a deep understanding of how people learn and improve at things. what is more hopeful, more inspiring, or more life-affirming than the realization that you can learn new things at any age, and that the new things you learn (plus the joyful process of learning itself!) can utterly transform the way you experience the world and understand yourself? what is more amazing or incredible than the realization that learning things is not a mysterious & passive process that happens to you but a reasonably consistent set of steps and tools that you can learn how to master and apply to virtually any skill or domain of human knowledge? the superpower of being able to learn/improve at anything you set your mind to… but also the superpower inherent in that quiet unwavering certainty that even if you feel stuck at various points in your life, you have within yourself the capacity to get unstuck through learning and changing and growing and experiencing new things. wowowowowowowow!!!!! what an extraordinary gift!!!!
#i did a classroom observation this week#in a mid-level environmental science research methods course#and at other points in my life i would've been either bored stiff by this experience or terrified because Science Is Hard#and I Am Humanities Person Cannot Do Science#but i actually found myself getting really fascinated by some of the stuff they were doing#i think combined with all the scientific studies i've been reading over the past six months related to fertility stuff#and i was like oh wait like#i could see myself going back and doing a bachelor's degree in a science field#like yeah this is unfamiliar to me & i have a lot of baggage around being Bad at STEM#but actually through doing lots of work with researchers & learning how research works in my own field#i think i've absorbed an understanding of some of the habits of mind science values#and i feel confident enough in my understanding of how people learn new things#that i bet i could apply that knowledge to learning disciplines that previously seemed Off Limits to me#anyway idk just#what a joy it is to be a thinking learning human in the world#how lucky are we!!!!!
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Super important question. Do you think Yakumo is ticklish?
wait hold on i have to look this up
#scrunches my face in serious contemplation while i scroll thru the results#my instinct said no#and upon reading the results for ARE SNAKES TICKLISH#seems like snakes ...according to the science so far... cannot feel ticklish#they may have sensitive areas that will make them go >:\ ???? or :O?!?!? if u touch em#making me think about From The Earth Nectar again#where yakumo (human version) is a bit sensitive after moulting#so he was actually a bit ticklish with his fresh skin. yeah. i'll incorporate that into my headcanon#my urge to stay somewhat true to science banishes me to the Boring Corner where yakumo isn't ticklish#especially not as a snake. but maybe in human form he gets a bit sensitive in certain areas#not like tickle torture level where you can poke his ribs and he'll yelp/start crying#but. uh. he's already so jumpy that he doesn't need to be ticklish to startle at an unexpected touch. you know??!#part of me DID consider... what if.. yakumo ticklish on his sides or smth#that's giving us another way to reduce him to tears............very tempting#for now i'll give him this ONE thing#this ONE advantage (?) in bodily control#i personally am not very ticklish so i'm also just going with the easiest-to-imagine headcanon#the few situations where someone manages to find a ticklish millimeter on me and i risk punching them out LOL#it's automatic and not a fun time for anyone involved#anon do you have thoughts about a ticklish yakumo?#are you about to open my eyes to another dazzling dimension?#nu carnival yakumo
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You are Universe looking back at itself
(Guys, brace yourself because it is not going to be your usual post.)
I don't know if you guys understand why it is "assumption".
The thing we see, hear, smell, touch, taste. They aren't real. I'm not trying to say the same thing again and again.
I'm not emotional blackmailing you to have faith in imagination in order to have your desires in 3D. But I'm telling you to have faith in imagination because it is the only truth. The source creation.
If the 3D is actually real and vivid as it seems,
there wouldn't be Ageusia, Dysgeusia, Color Blindness, Anosmia, Anaphia and literally tons other mental illness or disorders.
Dysgeusia: A condition where taste is distorted, leading to unusual or unpleasant flavors. Color blindness: A deficiency in color vision, usually involving difficulty distinguishing between certain colors. Dysacusis: A hearing disorder where sounds are distorted or unclear, making them hard to understand despite normal hearing. Anosmia: The total loss of the sense of smell, often caused by damage to the olfactory system Anaphia: The loss or impairment of the sense of touch, often due to nerve or brain damage.
Similarly between them?
"In short, they all relate to disruptions in the way the body processes sensory information."
Now, what proves that our entire lives that what we feel is not a distortion?
our brain? the only thing that distorts?
science? the thing is which is created by human brain?
These disorders happens due to a change in neural pathway in brains or due to medical treatment of which it affects the brain of some people which alters their entire reality.
People with color blindess don't know that their brain cannot see certain colors until other people make that person aware. Only then, the person with the color blindness gets aware of their condition, so till then... That person assumes that is their reality because that's what consciousness does.
So now, what if everyone on earth had color blindness?
It would simply just be the 'true reality'.
Brain provides distortion and consciousness accepts which then repeated becomes a belief in deep subconscious mind.
Nothing is "truth". We don't actually see 3D but the brain repeats us the old assumptions again and again.
That's why 3D is a reflection of our own mind.
The assumptions doesn't affect the 3D but becomes the 3D.
Assumptions are the true reality, 4D is the true reality.
Whether new or old, there is no "true reality" out there. (link)
There is no active 3D existing. Everything is 4D. Your so called material world is just interpreted by your brain through sensory nerves. You were always living in your head.
"Oh but why do need something external like water if we only live in our head?"
Because you exist in a physical body at this moment. Your body needs it. You don't. So you can actually shift to a reality where you don't need water.
Our physical never had to suffer or endure pain, we were provided with abundant water, minerals, trees which ripe fruits, vegetables, human physical and mental strength to power other creatures since the dawn.
"Oh then why do we innovate new physical objects if it already exists in 4D?"
Because we are source of creation. Our imagination, 4D. We don't just create out of no where. Just like how the airplane was a fantasy of the Wright brothers before it came into existence. We imagine something, we drive in creating.
Everything that is existing right now is a fantasy of the creator.
We are a mere fantasy of I am.
We are the I am conceived in human form who then forgot ourselves and became a dream character.
When we are first born, our subconscious develops at 6months. The duty of subconscious is solely to protect and serve you. The baby in the womb knows how to suck milk from the mother. Your subconscious protects you now and forever, you then develop consciousness which has the possibility to change the subconscious belief considering changes in adaptation in surroundings and to mend with the society.
That's why kids are very 'spongy' from 6-8yrs. Their conscious and subconscious both are developing together. This is where their majority life's belief starts forming deep onto their subconscious.
(Your subconsciousness is why you are here, making you able to read this at the moment. Heart beat, lungs functioning etc. It developed long ago and is consciously listening, it can't process every thoughts like consciousness, it just simply takes you as the dominant thought)
You get adapted to 3D and forget about 4D.
So it becomes 3D-> 4D->3D (old assumptions becomes 'true'.)
instead of 4D-> 3D-> 4D (you create assumption, your own reality which then becomes the 'true').
You are only truth, I am.
Whatever state you associate yourself with after that is an illusion that you can choose to be.
Anything is possible to I am.
You were/are/will be void forever.
You are whatever you desire and get conscious of.
#affirm and persist#consciousness#live in the end#loa blog#loablr#barbs111claims#neville goddard#non duality#awareness#lester levenson#anti shifters dni#shiftblr#shifting blog#shifting stories#reality shifting#loass#loass post#loassblog#loass states#loassumption
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You are NOT stupid and I love you 💫⚗️🍏🪿



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Pick a meme
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Disclaimer: please take what I say with a grain of salt and not as the gospel. I just want to share some ideas of practicing and giving advice using the medium as often as I can with school, work, and my own personal studies and practice. But I am working on sharing my notes soon so that will be exciting! Liking and sharing does a lot 🥰
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Socials: My Socials’s ☾
Links are broken asf but they’re on my pinned
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The cards

Justice 💡
You need to be fair to you and where you are at, we all start at a point and intelligence is more like a development from a path that you are on. You can’t judge other people for being on a different path, you can’t be mad at yourself for being in a different spot than anyone else. Stupid isn’t fair to the process, we were all born ignorant and we can become intelligent over time with work. There’s nothing we cannot become
Ace of wands 🍇
Is being stupid just possessing a different intelligence, is it even a lack of intelligence if its different intelligence. With so much priority on stem and sciences the understanding of love magic art and poetry is frowned upon. Both are needed in the world, none takes priority over the other they are both valued and needed.
Page of swords 🗡️
Are you stretching the bounds of the human brain and what you can do to the fullest, you want knowledge, you want to know how things work, you want to translate the science and the magic around you into new exciting things. Is it something thats not the norm? Are things outside of the norm frightening to people? You deserve to explore the unknown.
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Extras:
Story/vent:
Watching sports
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#suitlifeofgerm#askgerm#germ reads#daily card#tarot#pick a card#tarotoftheday#shadow work#pick a picture#tarot community#tarot blog#tarot witch#free tarot#tarot spread#daily tarot#tarot reading#tarot cards#tarot spreads#tarot reader#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot deck#tarot pull#tarot pac#tarot pick a pile#tarot pick a card#tarot draw#tarot divination#tarot daily#pac reading
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I am going to get even louder about my beliefs, to my friends, my family, to strangers, on the internet. I am a punk. I believe in trans rights, gay rights, equality for all sexes, freedom from gender norms, the right for any person to do whatever the fuck they want with their own bodies. Abortion is a human right. I respect pronouns. I believe in science and the impending climate collapse we are heading towards if we don't change everything (which I doubt we will) I'm queer and neurodivergent. I'm getting a degree in environmental science because I want to make a difference.
I also feel incredibly hopeless right now, I want to do so much but I don't know where to start besides sharing information on the internet. It's not enough, I need to go out and make a difference but I'm barely keeping my head afloat. This is what the system is designed to do. Keep us barely surviving so we can't organize against them.
I don't know where to go from here but I do know I'm not going to stop fighting. And neither should you. This is not going to be an easy fight and many people will lose their lives. We cannot stop fighting.
Don't forget disabled people, don't forget queer people, don't forget people of color, don't forget immigrants, don't forget all the people who will die because they can't get abortions. don't forget the people who are going to be the most impacted by this.
#punk politics#punk#politics#us politics#don't give up#fight the system#fuck facists#fuck trump#fuck elon musk#eat the rich#enviromentalism#queer punk
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castle of sand — senku i. prologue
brief summary: senku does not like your way of thinking
what to expect: some sort of angst, senku being kinda mean, just an intro to a series !
your sword's note: omg this turned out and is becoming way more obscure than what i initially intended, all past and future parts + playlist of this series available on my mistresslist
Senku could virtually understand most things, at least things that had a certain logic behind it, even if he disagreed or straight up didn't like them. But he could never understand what you were trying to say, and he hated it so much.
If he was the mad scientist at school, you matched his reputation as the melancholic thinker.
"Matter of subjective and objective truths." You shrugged as you walked away from the board after finishing your "present on anything" exposition.
Whenever you raised your hand in class, the teachers and everyone else had to take a few seconds to digest whatever it is you had said, and often the teachers would nod at the insightful remarks after having understood them but the rest of your classmates would keep on pondering. It had a similar effect on what Senku caused when he rambled about science, the only difference is that your argumentation was as swift as a feather and his words were factual and unchanging.
What bothered Senku the most is that you were also somewhat interested in science... in your odd way of course, in your way that defied his logical approach.
"What are you doing here, I told you to not come back." Somewhat hateful he said when you walked into the lab.
"What is it that you are doing?" You said with the characteristic soft frown and pout of your expression.
"Distillating this dymethyl sulfoxide." He pointed as if it was obvious.
"I don't believe in destillation, you know?" You sighed "It is impossible to ever erase the effect that a foreign substance has on another one, separating what was from what is after permeation is seemingly impossible and would either way appear indistinguishable."
"Please get out."
Senku logically knew you understood destillation, but your decision on seeing life through the lens of how things felt instead of the ways things worked made him loose his mind. Why would someone chose to become unreasonable under the eyes of science and logic?
"I will lock my house and never let you in again. My heart cannot possibly distillate your distasteful demeanor for my passions and pains." You sighed and he stopped dead in his tracks.
Though you always reacted the same way, threatening to ban him, you never seemed to follow through with it, but it would always scare him. Unfortunately you were also his neighbor, a bothersome all-time classmate and neighbor who had a way better telescope than his.
Senku appreciated when you seemed to forget your pledge to your vision of the world and would follow his conversations on science, always on the brink of exploding whenever you came back to your senses and started talking "shit" again —more like you lost your senses, to his perspective—.
You had always talked about silly things. Just as how he would slowly progress into mad science, you progressed into mad thoughts.
"Maybe life is about the flowers we see on a sad day." Age 7.
"I am afraid that there are great wonders that I will never get to know." Age 11.
"The endless possibilities of a human life contrasted with the lack of time to fulfill every possible passion results in what I call the ultimate unbearable pain and why I have deemed that life in the way we are limited to understand it is nothing but a punishment." The latest, age 15.
Byakuya always seemed to fall for it, it seemed as if he understood what you had to say better than the average person, and Senku of course hated it.
Though he had known you for virtually his whole life, he did not consider you a friend, more like a weird constant in his life that seemed to be bothersome, and he knew that you did not consider him a friend either and that was more than perfect; he wished it stayed that way: you bothering him in the lab and him using your waaay better telescope occasionally.
#senku x reader#ishigami senku#senku#senku ishigami#dr stone senku#dcst#dr stone#drst#x reader#dcst senku#senku x y/n
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hi sorry i don’t go here anymore but i feel a lot of things about the tommyinnit video and i have a lot of bit ideas and i just. i need to make a numbered list
1. obsessed with how his go to story was always “kids in school bullied me for minecraft videos” (bad, awful, sorry this happened) and not “i specifically asked for my teachers to play my minecraft let’s plays in the middle of science”. this is soooo positive and kind and affectionate because this is both something i do now (lie abt personal stories on the internet) and something i repeatedly did as a kid (deliberately got myself into Embarrassing Situations trying to mix internet and irl. i have stories too thomas….)
2. his middle name is michael. LOSER. whos name is michael. only. losers
3. i was like “wow foolish and quackity are in here a lot” until i realized that he Cannot Show Anyone Else. 75% of dsmp clips contain at least One racist and/or convicted felon
4. this guy Cannot keep fading to black and sighing. every transition it’s another fucking fade to black. Please just cut to black please just cut please just cut please please please please
5. THE TOMMY NEG CAMEO……. suddenly it was 2021 and i was on twitter at 4am and my moot was asking me if i hated philza and cheated on my girlfriend bc a random swiftie faked messages with me to be in a joke group chat i was in that dr*am got added to but never actually joined. sorry this isn’t about me but hey that was Fucking wild
6. TOMMYINNIT HAS HAD TWO GIRLFRIENDS???? I AM 20 YEARS OLD GAY AND HOT AND HES HAD 200% MORE PLAY???????? sorry. Sorry.
7. i fuck w the djo! I am crying real human tears though
8. he found himself thru stand up comedy…….. be yourself because then you’ll get more views…………. he is so wise……. i must become the most famous man in nottingham…………..
that’s all. i don’t think half of these classify as bits. this is like a React video but on tumblr which is somehow worse than a react video. doesn’t matter. It’s all love
#tommyinnit#tom simons#shutupmac#numbered list#recovering inniter#mcyt#dsmp#dream smp#^for dnis. Sorry back to cartoon yaoi and The Horrors now#edited to fix my Numbered List. i had two fours on there and that Simply would not do#The Recollections
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Hi everyone. Obviously everyone has seen the news and read the polls and obviously you can tell that we’re likely cooked.
For some reason our country wants to elect the Mango Menace and his gaggle of orange stained goons once again.
I am terrified for myself, my loved ones, my country, our climate, and just everything.
However, I’d like to tell the LGBTQIA+ community these things because I know we are terrified right now.
What happened today, it’s devastating. It angers me too. Some of my closest family voted for that horrible man. I don’t think I can look at them the same way anymore. Especially, when they hold no guilt or remorse about it even after I explained his policies to them. What do I know, I guess.. 🤷🏻♂️🙄
However, as a queer, trans man in this little community, I want ALL of the LGBTQIA+ people who will see this post to know that things will be alright. We all have each other. We know we exist here in the states even if none of us have met. We EXIST.
Just because those orange stained dunderheads want to silence us doesn't change the fact that we exist. We do. We always will. Bigotry cannot fight facts and science. We'll always exist. The only time trans people won't exist is when the human race dies out. Even then, we have other animal species that are queer and trans. No matter what, we will always exist in nature. They cannot change that. They cannot take that from us. Do not lose hope. Even though it's really fucking hard not to.
Do not lose it. The fact that you and I exist is a beacon of hope to another trans and queer person. We exist. None of us want to be left here alone. So we must go on. We must continue to exist. Things WILL be okay. I'll always keep fighting and living for you and every one of my trans and queer brothers, sisters, and siblings.
You existing and simply being here is a beacon of hope to me. Someone who has understands how I'm feeling. Someone who is LIKE me but so different at the same time.
In the grand scheme of the universe, we are very small. However, even though it's small, the fact is that it EXISTS. It's so fucking small in this big void of the cosmos but we're here. We're made of similar components as stars, ones that had to die for us to exist.
I like to think of the sky as when humanity was truly equal. When we were just atoms in the big ol' void, ya know? We didn't fight. We didn't give a shit about all of this stuff. We were allll different types of stars and matter. We were all random as hell, but we just WERE. We coexisted peacefully together in the universe.
Now that those stars are dead as a door nail and some dumb fishy bastard decided to get curious and walk on land, we're all human. Humanity fucking sucks ass sometimes but it's also such a beautiful fucking thing. No matter what happens, a part of us will always exist.
Our existence is embedded in the universe. Nothing can change that. So, please keep living. Be safe, but keep living. Always keep fighting. We belong here just like anyone else.
You belong. You are loved. You are cherished. You are noticed by me and other people here. We all understand each other. So keep going. Again, one day we will all have a better tomorrow. I swear to fucking god or whatever the hell is out there, if anything, however it's unlikely, I will ALWAYS keep fighting for you and WITH you.
Every protest l attend. Every petition I sign. Every time I vote. Every time I go to pride. Every time l simply leave my home as I am. I am doing it for you and all of us. Our people WILL have our damn tomorrow. I'm sick of us not having it. I swear to you we will. So, again, please keep going. Keep fighting. Keep living. Exist. Your existence may be a threat to some bigoted fucker but your existence is precious to someone else. Please do not let them take your right to exist away from you. Keep going.
We’ll have a better tomorrow, the one that we deserve eventually, but we just need get through the hard, bumpy, dirty road first.
Again, we will be okay. Everything will be okay. We’ll get through it. Yes, unfortunately, we will likely see suicide rates and hate crime rates go up and that's disgusting and just all types of awful and depressing. It angers me beyond words.
However, we are strong.
We shouldn't have to be strong though.
What we should be and need to be is loved, accepted, warm, fed, have shelter, and are safe.
For now though, we remain strong. You will always have a place here.
You will live. You will not die, hun. I know the thought creeps in and believe me, I understand. Those thoughts creep in for me too, but we must learn to try to control them. If there's anything I know about us trans and queer folk it's that we're strong, feisty, kind, very sexy, and cheeky as hell. So, if we live, we live because it's our damn right and to be spiteful. We do not owe the people who want to harm us our lives. We just don't. We deserve healthcare. We deserve to love and get married.
We deserve to grow old.
You will grow old. You will be able to go on those trips you've always wanted. You will be able to have that cheesy romance you've always wanted, if you are someone who is wanting a relationship.
You'll be able to sit down and watch your favourite movie. Why? Because you stayed. You didn't give up. Ever. We will always exist.
We will ALWAYS live.
Being transgender has existed before humans even walked this earth and it will still exist when all of us book our holy bus tickets and the blessed holy tax collector comes to collect our debted souls. No matter what, we will live on. They can silence us all they want and erase whatever the fuck they want but that doesn't mean that it's the truth. We're HERE.
We've been here since forever ago. Those Cheeto dusted dunderheads cannot change that. Like I told another person here, other animals and even plants are trans and queer! We've always been here. That won't change, hun.
Everything WILL be okay. We'll always survive and live on. Look at how far we've come in these past years. Many of us thought that we'd be gone already but here we are, two trans people typing away in comment sections on an app where middle age men get off to octopus porn and neko ladies in Japanese school girl outfits because men. and welcome to the internet, I guess. Lmao.
Everything will work out on way or another. We'll have our tomorrow, hun. For now, we gotta buckle down because we're in for a bumpy ride but hey, thankfully on bumpy you have those moments where ya hit the bump just right and you're like
"WOAH, HELLO!- mister bump, you better watch yourself, you saucy boy~ You can't be doin' that. You better take me to dinner first." Lmao. Okay, on a more serious note, we just gotta buckle down together and get through this bumpy ass dirt road because after awhile you make it through that rocky dirt road in the woods and come out to feel smooth pavement again. It'll be alright. We just need to band together and make it through. We all are always stronger together. You're not alone, my friends.
You're talkin' to a guy who has the personality of a gay muppet with a big mouth. I'm shocked nothin’ has happened to me yet with my yappy ass screeching and getting over 80+ gay people to start baa-ing like sheep at a bigot at last year's pride event, but that's a wholeeeee different situation.
My point is, we'll be okay. We'll make it through.
You'll survive. You have me. You have everyoneeeee here and on other social forums. Sure, it's not the same as in-person interactions but it's somethin'. It’s better than nothing I guess. If we’ve gotta go stealth mode eventually and make secret groups for us trans and queer folk, then so be it.
Just do whatever you feel you need to do to keep yourselves safe.
We'll have a better tomorrow. We just need to keep pushing through this rough shit. We'll get out of the woods and onto smooth pavement with open skies eventually.
Continue to exist. Fight. Be safe, but live. Live for yourself, fellow trans people, and simply for spite.
Fuck bigots. Not actually though. Like DON'T fuck them. Who knows where they've been. But fuck them. They're not worth your life. Their bigotry is not worth your life. Live because it's your right.
Those guys are all so far up Donald Trump’s ass he fired his doctor and hired his supporters to give him a colonoscopy.
So, live long. Live for love and live for spite, my friends. We'll get through this.
It’s Trump 2: Electric Boogaloo. SPOILER: The first movie sucked too. They even tried to make a third one — Mango Menace Strikes Back! We didn’t want to come to the theatre to see the second one but it was a class field trip that most of America signed for us. So, we’ve allll got no choice but to go on the trip to the cinema.
Anyways, things will be okay. We’ll make it through. We’ll out get it figured out. We always do. We’ll take care of each other. Everything will be alright. 🤙🏼💛⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️✨
(Sorry for typos and repetitive speech- it’s 4:14 a.m. EST. 😭😭)
#us politics#donald trump#2024 presidental election#Trump 2: Electric Boogaloo#Mango Menace#Mango Menace Strikes Back#donald john trump#what even is America?#2024 elections#election 2024#2024 presidential election#president trump#kamala harris#vote harris#harris walz 2024#usa news#usa#america#I’m an atheist but Lord help us-#fuck donald trump#vice president loveseat#jd vance#presidential election#kamala for president#2024 presidential race#us presidential election#us propaganda#us presidential race#november election#america is fucked
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hi! i was wondering your opinions on how hrt affects the body? i hold a lot of radfem beliefs but i am trans (taking testosterone). would being a woman to you have to be completely about chromosomes? for example, trans men years on T do not have the same genetic makeup as cis women. same with trans women on E, their genetic makeup would be very different to cis men, and would more correlate to cis women. does this factor in who you consider female/male or having experience as women?
Hi there, thanks for reaching out.
Firstly, I think you may be a bit confused. Taking exogenous hormones does not affect your genetic makeup. Your dna will stay the same unless you're exposed to something extreme like radiation - this is a good thing because dna mutation is bad for you and causes cancer! Your genetic sex is immutable, a person with XY chromosomes cannot have their dna altered to have XX chromosomes instead.
Hormones will affect the expression of your genes, for example turning on facial hair production in women who are taking testosterone. This is why those patterns of facial hair, even in women, differ from person to person. The genes for it were already there, but hormone replacement therapy uses the endocrine system to change what signals get sent to your genes to tell them what features to express.
Beyond chemically induced genetic expression, there are particular physical features in males that do not occur in males, and vice versa. This is a feature of the /ancient/ evolution of sexual reproduction. Despite the variety of metaphysical beliefs about identity and personhood, the truth is that humans evolved to reproduce between two sexes, and human beings cannot change sex. Every cell of your body has your sex encoded within it. This affects us physically in many ways. I and most feminists believe that this fact should be irrelevant to any person's ability to pursue their passion, be themselves, and love who they love. Even so, recognition of biological sex is something important. This is really critical in a medical context. For example: men who receive a blood transfusion from a pregnant or recently pregnant woman have an increased risk of death by transfusion-related lung injury. Another example: tracheostomy tubes differ in size depending on sex due to dimorphism in average tracheal diameter. A women who is reported as a male risks considerable injury by having a male sized tracheostomy tube forced into her windpipe. A considerable amount of medications differ in dose effectiveness and side effects based on biological sex. Something as straightforward as a heart attack has different symptoms depending on if the patient is female or male. Denial of biological sex is dangerous, and as it stands, medical science has not advanced enough to change the biological sex of an individual. If you are born male, you will stay male for your entire life. You say that a transwoman who has taken estrogen is more genetically similar to a woman, I'm sorry but that simply isn't true. A male person will always be more genetically similar to other males than to a female person.
Determination of sex is very simple, it's about the easiest genetic test to do. They have kits for high school classrooms to try out ffs. We need to leave the "meaningful sex change is possible through medical intervention" thing in the past, all we accomplish with that is giving people false hope and an unattainable goal to fixate on. Sex is real and immutable, I wish it didn't matter, but it does.
And why it matters is, maleness and femaleness have become inseparable from certain stereotypes and assigned qualities by societies in human history. Overwhelmingly, the male people subjugate the female people. Since men, male humans, discovered womens' ability to give birth could be taken advantage of, it was capitalized upon. And this is the foundation of patriarchal society. Religions were founded to justify this as the will of god. To deny that women have historically been persecuted due to their sex is, well, misogynistic. There is no "woman feeling" that makes us targets for child marriages, FGM, trafficking/prostitution, and other horrors from the minute we're born and even before. No, it's the sex we were born with that makes the world think it can decide our fate. In fact, the way that people treat male children differently from female children is so different so early, that we are genuinely unable to study human behaviour unaffected by gendered expectations. This is what feminists are talking about when they discuss "socialization". There is not a single man on the planet who knows exactly what it's like to see the world from a woman's eyes, no matter how feminine that man is. Womanhood isn't something you can achieve or acquire through effort: you were either born a woman or you weren't, just like you were either born with detached earlobes or not. It's so simple.
All that to get to my final point: Yes, I believe the definition of womanhood comes down to biology, because anything beyond that is a meaningless stereotype. Women can do anything, be anyone, look any way they want, go through any experience they do. The one thing they have in common is that they are female adult human beings. There is not way to fail at being a woman or do it wrong, you just are. Womanhood is the experience of having been a female person in this world, and nothing else. There are certain things only female human beings need, like abortion and female contraceptive rights, access to spaces where we can be safe from our subjugators (male human beings), and the ability to define ourselves and fight for our collective rights.
(At this point you may object and point out that male people who identify as trans women are also subject to violence and scorn from men: unfortunately that is often the case, but this does not make male people who identify as women, well, female. We need solutions for them that do not involve requiring women to sacrifice our comfort and safety for the sake of a particular subset of men, because of the inherent risks involved and the fact that women do not owe men anything even when those men have it bad.)
One last thing: my opinion is that prescribing exogenous cross-sex hormones is unethical (so are all elective cosmetic medical procedures but that's a post for a different day). I understand the distress that gender dysphoria inflicts on people, however the ill effects of hrt are too numerous to condone. The huge increase in risk of stroke with estrogen, heart disease and uterine atrophy with testosterone, and the way that trans medicine studies are notorious for losing followup with patients after a year or less... it's short sighted and frankly, financially motivated. The amount of trans patients who are prescribed hormones without access to an endocrinologist, it's honestly infuriating. People deserve the best care possible, not lab rat bullshit where they cut you loose when it's not working out. I won't judge anyone for what they do to themselves to cope with distress, but I want everyone, especially girls, to be aware of the lifetime effects medical decisions may have, and that you also can find happiness within yourself without hurting your body.
Thanks again for your question, be well ✌️
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Hello!I would really love it if you could do Nikola Tesla as Yandere and Y/N is his Valkyrie who got blind in the Ragnarok (if Nikola won). I am truly sorry if I have any mistakes but English is not my first language. (It’s my first time requesting something too)
It’s all good, love! I understand what you mean, take your time with learning English and I hope you like requesting! I love my man, Nikola so you got great tastes, darling
Nikola Tesla- Mentally Impaired

You regret giving your body to Science…
You really do
It’s not what you thought and hoped for. You hoped it’d be for the principles of science and giving your life up for it would better the cause of science but all it’s done is give your life into the hands of a human man you can’t stand anymore…
Nikola Tesla. Originally, you liked him plenty. He was kind and eccentric, intelligent, a determined golden-hearted boy with wonder that defines him as a person but all that cute charm he use to bare is long gone and that’s just so heartbreaking for you
He was a great battle partner and when you formed his desired Divine Weapon, the Super Automaton β, upon putting all your trust into him and his capabilities… you had basically signed your life away to him in blood. Whilst, you are grateful he managed to keep you alive and you both won, defeating Beelzebub for good
However, you and Tesla had to risk quite a lot… getting slashed in the face on the final minute of the intense long-feeling battle. Tesla managed to avoid getting blinded with his quick reflelxes and even quicker wit but yourself wasn’t as lucky…
Tesla was furious about that since he could see it, even behind the blood lathering his visible face. However, he cannot act on it until he ends up making the God of Flies drop by his feet and he right away goes to you, making sure you’re okay since he was such a caring sweet person
“Dokusha… are you okay?”
Tesla asked with that heavy sultry tone of concern, his mighty thick semi-broken golden and aquamarine armour-clad body leaning against yours to support you upright since you were about to stumble, Beelzebub’s shattered and dissipating form disintegrating before you as the crowds roar for your shared victory. His body howled in agony as much as yours but he prioritised you
That was the past… the few weeks ago when you genuinely respected and trusted Tesla but the more time you spent around him, trying to help him recover from his injuries as he also helped you get around, due to you losing your eyesight upon standing up on your own after a while of being bedridden to let your divine body self-heal. Accompanied by Tesla all the way down that painful long road since he was traversing it with you
All the more worse he became
At first, Tesla would just be protective and you didn’t even notice it since you suspected him, being the kid caring darling he is, didn’t want to risk you getting hurt so you appreciated his care but the red flags were in front of your face from the beginning and you were too blind to even see them
Even more blind than you are currently. Confirmed to be now legally blinded, even as a mighty strong Valkyrie and your sisters, Brunhilde and Göll, could only express their condolences but they are glad you survived your round with Tesla. Tesla’s thankful as well since he has grown to enjoy your presence
However, it’s not even friendly or familial. It’s Tesla becoming possessive and clingy, overtime as he has decided that your intelligence, your skills, your efforts to Science and even to him as a partner is enough for him to pursue you and make sure you never part from him…
This is not a temporary thing, to him. This is now permanent so you are to get comfortable
Tesla would only get more and more worse with you since nobody around you two was calling him out, not even you, so he just grew more and more obsessed with you that he’d begin getting aggressive and force you around against your will with no real care for your wants. He refuses to let go of this elegant scientific beauty that gave him the mental and physical power to overcome his largest obstacle
His ‘asks’ would go from simple calm requests for you to help with his research for a hour or less, to him forcing you by a rough grip on your bicep to make you stay longer than you need to… it’s gotten so bad that you genuinely fear Tesla, despite the fact he’s just a ordinary human
He is an ordinary human, yes but Tesla has something not all men have; vast intelligence. Scientific knowledge, experience and raw determination that he has his ways to make sure. Without manipulation, that you will never leave his sight, even if you fight against him and his efforts. After all, you need him, you’re blind and helpless
Why don’t you get that? All this independence talk is ridiculous. You can’t be independent with your lack of depth perception
You’re his Valkyrie, your body belongs to him and Science so you have no right to refuse his reasonable requests. He saved your life, he’s the reason you’re even breathing within this divine temple. You should pay him back, that’s how he views it and you are… you don’t know how to argue otherwise
Tesla isn’t violent or brutal or rude but he is rather ruthless with his desires to keep you close by him. He wants to work on his studies and his experiments with you and he doesn’t want any other person, human or God, being in your presence. They don’t deserve that honour…
What’s going on nowadays after your human partner became a corrupted unhealthy menace to your life? Well… it hasn’t gotten any better for you. Yes, Tesla is helping you with your disability and he’s gentle about it but besides that, living with him
H E L L
Tesla never stops clinging on you, he’s always hugging you by an arm. Dragging you around to everywhere and anywhere he desires and working almost all the day everyday with you basically chained to his side, on his neverending line of scientific research. He is always thrilled that he gets to indulge in the two things he adores the most; science and his Valkyrie partner
He doesn’t even notice how much you’re suffering under his tyrannical bipolar rule, he only really cares about the fact he knows you’re his and you can only rely on him and that you can’t convince anybody that he treats you badly since he doesn’t. He treats you like the Princess he views you as, his beloved Princess
“Wouldn’t a world of wireless electricity access be wonderful, my dear?”
Tesla eagerly and excitedly asks you, near the finale of his detailed explanation about his latest scientific invention, as you’re forcibly sat on his lap. You love science and whilst the concept is interesting to you, but you fear your life in this lab, that you can barely listen to him. Drowning in an empty world of darkness, you see, hear, think and speak darkness…
You don’t even say a word in response as your senses have been muzzled thoroughly. You’re just wondering aimlessly in your own thoughts yet unintentionally ignoring the rather eccentric needy scientist calling himself your lover
Yet, Tesla doesn’t yell or lash out… he doesn’t lash out or yell or threaten anybody, even his worse enemies, let alone you so all he does is gently shake your delicate beautiful elegant body to try stir you back to reality without even making a sound since he only cares about how out of it you’ve been lately
Putting down the large blueprints he had been reading over onto his desk, Tesla speaks up after some seconds of really needed delicious silence. His aquamarine eyes locked on his precious battle partner, on you and whilst he’s truly sick now, he’s lovesick and he cares about you…
He just shows his twisted addictive love in the most toxic counterproductive manner possible
“What’s the matter, little spark? You’ve been so quiet and unhappy lately. Is somebody bothering you? Are your clothes uncomfortable? Whatever is wrong, tell me. I’ll take care of it”
#record of ragnarok#record of ragnarok scenarios#record of ragnarok romance#record of ragnarok characters#record of ragnarok imagines#record of ragnarok nikola tesla#anime and manga#nikola tesla#romantic short story#angst short story#short story#yandere imagines#yandere romance#yandere#yandere nikola tesla#romantic yandere#yandere short story#yandere problems#nikola tesla x reader#yandere nikola tesla x reader#shuumatsu no valkyrie#shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader
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re: the top 5 books ask, here's what I didn't include but all of this could go on this list.
Math and Physics: Wonders of Numbers (Clifford Pickover)/Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman (Richard Feynman)/The Elegant Universe (Brian Greene) were all awards or graduation presents in middle and high school; one is a bunch of wild math puzzles, one is a (very funny) memoir of a legendary physicist; and one is an exploration of a then very hot theoretical physics theory, and it's interesting to consider how all of them shaped me.
why I as a math/physics person am also an avid meta writer:Hyperspace (Michio Kaku) and How To Write Science Fiction and Fantasy (Orson Scott Card) - Kaku is a physicist as well but writes for the layman, and Hyperspace is about extradimensional physics but also provides a huge list of fictional explorations, which is why I'm pairing it with How to Write Science Fiction and Fantasy. Look I cannot vouch for Card as a person given the Mormon Homophobia but this book was absolutely formative, I read it very young (not long after Ender's Game, actually), and I do recommend pirating it because I inherited a great deal of my understanding of narratology and good writing from it, and it introduced me to some of my favorite less problematic writers. These books also serve as "introduction to a billion fucked up sf short stories I read in high school"; just copy down every fictional work they mention and read as many as you can.
Medicine, healthcare, neuroscience, and the human element: The works of Oliver Sacks/The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down (Anne Fadiman)/The Checklist Manifesto (Atul Gawande) - I think I would not have been as happy as a physician, but I also think had a few things gone slightly differently in my life (notably, having a high school bio teacher who was competent and whom I did not detest) I might have been pushed in that direction, and as I'm in other more peripheral spaces in healthcare, these are still very important books in terms of how I think.
Cookbooks: How to Cook Everything Vegetarian (Mark Bittman) and Salt Fat Acid Heat (Samin Nosrat) - I'm a pretty good cook and Bittman's is the first cookbook I owned as an adult (I am not vegetarian but I was in my first ever apartment, as I keep kosher and therefore having two sets of dishes and buying kosher meat was prohibitively expensive as a grad student, at least if I also wanted to like, go out for drinks or pizza on occasion). Salt Fat Acid Heat is much more recent but I think that's what really freed me from needing cookbooks and instead thinking about cooking more by experience.
Childhood formative books, especially in fantasy: A Barrel of Laughs, A Vale of Tears (Jules Pfeiffer)/The Phantom Tollbooth (Norton Juster)/the general works of Diana Wynne Jones, Ellen Raskin, and Elizabeth Enright. A taste for the weird/mythical/fractured fairy tales.
Teen/Adult formative books in sf: Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell (Susana Clarke)/The Belgariad (David Eddings)/Wild Seed (Octavia Butler)/Old Kingdom series (Garth Nix)/I, Robot (Isaac Aasimov)/The City and the City (China Mieville) - teens and adulthood formative books in sf and fantasy. The lessons learned here, in order, respectively: find the intersection of mythology and academia and if you're doing pastiche do it impeccably; if you're not original, be funny and kind to your characters (still throw rocks at them but treat them as people); with that said be original and as weird as you fucking want; write a woman who is incredibly good at what she does and build a deeply compelling world around her; no really write a woman who is incredibly good at what she does and build a deeply compelling world around her and also stupid puns are okay; get weird, play with genre, and don't hold your audience's hand.
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Crashes in here, hi this is my main blog and I just saw the tags you left on my art of Miki and the CombatBot and I'm going just a little insane over them. I've been thinking of a fic from Miki's POV for Rogue Protocol for a while and while I don't think I have the skill to pull that off I am SO EXCITED to see that someone else has had the same thought!!! Urg... I just love Miki so so much and seeing how the events unfold from its POV would be so interesting.
I think I gotta go draw Miki some more now hehe. Good luck with writing!!
(the Miki art in question)
Hehe, right? Miki is SUCH a character full of so many hidden depths and surprises, greatest of all is that it's also exactly what it looks like on the surface, in full sincerity: a sweet, kind person of a bot that cared very deeply about its friends and wanted to be able to count Murderbot among them. It also deliberately obfuscates the truth from Murderbot and from Don Abene alike on multiple occasions, it seems to sense what MB means and feels through the feed almost better than MB itself, it's a science bot with visual magnification abilities beyond MB's, when it's stressed and pressed for time it stops trying to talk like a human and goes back to its native code language; Miki has in-jokes with its human friends, but I never had a friend like me. And that's just random stuff I pulled from skimming the book looking for something else! Miki is just such a fascinating character!!
And in this fandom we just LOVE our outsider POVs, haha. I'm sure others have done or tried to do Miki POV of the book before, but I'm gonna use this moment as an opportunity to gush about the thing I want to write- I left the tags that I did because what came to me first was the bit leading up to the same scene you've depicted, the tragic beauty of Miki choosing the trajectory that it did. I have a heartwrenching final scene of Miki's POV in those moments that I absolutely cannot show anyone, not least because the scene simply will not hit as hard as it could unless I actually lay the groundwork that would give it a real punch.
Miki would be about (is about) self-determination, right, obviously. But the Miki POV I want to write would also be about a character caught between connection and alienation, a bot among humans and all that entails. —People love and protect Miki, yes, but do they understand it? Don Abene loved it, and Miki loved her too, and what about all the times they struggled to understand each other? The work that it takes to overcome miscommunication? How does Miki feel, knowing that there are some experiences it just cannot share with its human friends, nor they with it? Do they understand each other regardless? Does anybody ever really understand another person? —Miki has a way of talking that's a little clipped and which may seem "childish" to a reader at first glance; given that in times of stress it defaults back to a nonverbal-to-humans mode of bot communication, might we draw parallels between it and the semiverbal disabled experience? —For perhaps the first time in its life Miki met someone who could understand it reflexively, instinctively, empathize with its machinic experiences almost effortlessly. How does it understand this person's refusal to accept the vulnerability of connection? Does Miki understand Murderbot, and if so how much? In what ways?
Those are the themes I'd want to pull at, and to do so I'd use the motifs of Miki's scientific research function. Its literal ability to perceive the world differently from both humans and from MB, its framing of the world through numbers and measurement and factoids and analysis that is nevertheless beautiful to it, even when it struggles to put that beauty to human words. Names. Identity. Choice and free will. Emotion and connection. What Miki was thinking when it looked at MB's camera at the nebula storm and said, Pretty! The jokes and media and little moments it shares with Don Abene. The love and happiness that made it so secure in itself. If I could just get through the groundwork of it all... it would be beautiful. At least as beautiful as the art you drew.
Anyway, I hope you keep drawing Miki, friend! The art you did has already inspired me a bit more 🥰
#verso talks#writing#murderbot diaries#rogue protocol#miki#murderbot#also i would FULLY expand the moment at the end where they're trying to redirect the whatsit n MB glosses over it in 1 annoyed sentence#into its own whole tense thing. maybe. just bc i think it's funny that MB doesn't care even a little bit about this important problem#we'll see idk#queue
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Part 1 of Colin and Susannah | Next chapter | Master post
Male werewolf x female human | Regency era | SFW but slightly suggestive | autumn fluff
~ 🐺🎩 ~
“I do so love autumn leaves.” Susannah bent to pick one up, a crimson red brighter than fresh blood, and twirled the stem of it between her slender fingers. “I will never tire of their vibrant colors.”
“That’s fitting, for I believe you’re a painter, are you not?” Colin asked her.
Her face brightened with a mixture of surprise and pleasure. “Indeed I am. But I don’t recall telling you so. How did you know?”
“More than once when we have met, I have smelt paint upon you.” She lifted her hands to peer at her fingers, as if the paint were still upon them, and he smiled. “I do not smell any now, but even if you had washed off all visible traces of it, I might still be able to detect that it was recently there. Werewolves have a very keen sense of smell.”
Ah yes. Sometimes it was easy for her to forget that Mr. Barrington was a werewolf. Her eyes roved over his face, so perfectly human and normal, save for his golden eyes that seemed almost to glow. She wondered what he looked like in his wolf form, but did not feel they were acquainted well enough to ask such a thing. “Even in your human form?”
“My senses are a bit dulled in this form, but very little. Even like this, I can smell that you used rosewater in your hair, and you ate raspberry preserves with your breakfast.”
Her cheeks flushed a pretty pink over her freckles, and she reached up to wipe at the corners of her mouth. The werewolf chuckled. “Don’t worry, Miss Oakden, there is no jam still on you; I simply can smell it.”
Her eyes widened. He was the first werewolf she had ever been personally acquainted with, and she found him endlessly fascinating. Thankfully, he was always patient with her questions, never acting offended by them or mocking her ignorance. “That’s remarkable! How can you smell it if it is gone?”
He shrugged. “I don’t pretend to understand the science behind it. It is simply an innate skill I possess. I can smell many things I cannot see.”
For instance, he could smell that she was his mate.
He did not mention this out loud. She would not understand; as a human, he knew she could not smell mating bonds, as his kind could, nor even feel the bond beyond the faintest vague sensation. He did not wish her to think he only cared for her due to the bond, when in reality, it was his admiration of her as a person that had caused the bond to form, not some higher power dictating his feelings. Even though she must feel at least some degree of affection for him as well, in order to enable the start of that bond, she might not realize her own feelings yet, and he did not want to distress, frighten, or confuse her.
He could smell her matehood even now, intangible yet so very real, thick and sweet in the space between them as they walked beside each other along the garden path of her parents’ estate. It urged him to stay close to her and protect her. It urged him to touch her, lick her, mount her, bite her—to make her his.
But he kept his hands clasped behind his back and a respectable distance between them as they slowly strolled the grounds, colorful leaves rustling under their feet. He could wait to have her, while he courted her in the manner of a gentleman, as she would expect. He would earn her love the way a human man would.
And once he had it, he would claim her the way a werewolf male would.
~ 🐺🎩 ~
End of part 1 of Colin and Susannah | Read next chapter
Read all of my Regency monster ficlets and snippets at the tag #my writing.
#colin and susannah fic#my writing#fic#regency monster#regency#monster#regency romance#monster romance#monster love#monster lover#monster boyfriend#monster x human#werewolf x human#werewolf#werewolf boyfriend#oc
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Seeing you be very normal about small details in the show got me thinking about Pomni, and I was wondering if you've thought about the possibility that Pomni probably hasn't eaten in several days. Like, we know they don't NEED to eat.. but it's probably not healthy for her mentally to skip the process of 'taking care of your body'. Ragatha, for example, says that participating in sleeping despite the fact they don't need to- helps keep them mentally steady. Idk just a thought..
ooooooooh.... its a good thought!!!!!
i DO think that like. theres definitely some psychological aspects to a lot of things like eating and sleeping that i feel like tadc characters would be at risk of neglecting... like with something like sleep, i think they can go without it for a LONG time without physical fatigue BUT at the same time like. psychologically sleep is IMPORTANT. i dont know all the science of it but iirc sleep isnt just a physical need but i get the feeling thats not smth that occurs to people in the circus often :[ ragatha seems aware enough of the benefit of the routine of sleeping and how the adventures can be helpful for that to BUT i imagine even she doesnt fully realize that sleep is still pretty important for them, just in a different way
on that note i could definitely see eating being similar!!!! its not something thatll physically harm a person in the circus if they dont eat but also eating is a deeply ingrained aspect of human life, and while i struggle to place a specific problem abstaining from it for too long in the circus couls cause, i COULD imagine it being like. at LEAST psychologically disorienting. especially with jax claiming he feels hungry??? it implies that its similar to the breathing thing that they may not phsyically need to , but their mind still assumes they do....
i DO get curious if they have like. regular meals?? i liek the hc that theres some sort of kitchen in the circus (seeing the weird little couch area was SOOO exciting for me, im super invested in finding out more about the layout of the circus!!!!! i like details like that theyre FUN) so imagine theres SOME way to access food just like how they have bedrooms (though, i get the feeling caine doesnt have a complete idea of what sleep IS but thats a diff thing). but also with them having a feast at the end of the pilot could imply they do, but with that 'reward' not being brought up at ALL in the next three eps (caine has the opportunity to mention it but noticably doesnt, especially in ep 2 where he just full on Leaves after the adventure- it seems more like he just sorta congratulates people on completing adventures and makes sure everyones accounted for and calls it a day) makes me think that communal meals are NOT super common, or at the very least them being coordinated by caine isnt...
all that to say that if shes only been part of the ep 1 feast (i cannot imagine she ate i feel like she was too out of it to do Anything😭) i am unsure if shed have gone out of her way to find a kitchen... if she wanted to know i think shed feel comfortable asking ragatha about it, but i wonder if its even crossed her mind???? and i imagine that would be jarring for her to realize, and also generally psychologically Not The Best for her...
#ask#tadc#i think its not smth pomni would actively avoid BUT i could see her forgetting to#i dont know??? how much hunger they feel so it could be a minute while shes adjusting for her to even Realize how long its been...#it does honestly make me wonder if they CAN get sleepy. they can feel the need to breathe and i imagine they wouldnnt get#the physical fatigue from lack of sleep. but its just bad for ur brain to put it off too#the breathing thing in general has INTERESTING implications for things#i get the feeling a lot of it is like.. mental. but not just psychologically#smth about autonomous stuff. ur body knows what it needs to survive so even if u know ull be fine in the circus#ur bodys like . i need air or ill DIE!#so its like. how much does that apply to#how much of the circus IS influenced by ones own mind#if ur mind sends signals to the computer that 'i cant breathe' and responds accordingly...#and then it then comes back to the food thing....#(i think if pomni started thinking about this too much it would Scare Her. because it has deeply distressing implications#about ones own existence#and on top of 'i am detached from physical needs and this makes me feel partially divorced from my own humanity and it unsettles me'#its smth i think she would have to avoid thinking about too long 😭)#circus discussion
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Have a Bleach snippet from a world where Urahara has empathy but it doesn't stop him from doing what's necessary, Aizen is an apocalyptic threat, Ichigo is a girl because reasons, and Ururu is a rescue from a Central 46 lab.
Also this snippet is kind of predicated on the assumption that Urahara is responsible for Ichigo turning out as an utter science experiment of a person. (If you know me IRL, you have all my disclaimers.) ______________
Kisuke's throat tightens and his eyes start to burn.
He looks away from the baby, up at the blank wall of the clinic. He forces his expression to go neutral.
It takes longer than it should, for someone raised in the Shihouin household.
In and out, even and quiet, he breathes. The little girl in his arms breathes, too. He can feel her little rib cage expand and contract in his arms, can hear her soft exhales.
He tunes it out, and grows ice in his heart.
When he has regained himself, he looks back down.
This little girl, he decides — she does not need to be lied to just yet. He will make it clear, in this moment, hidden in the shadows of a clinic no human may enter, that he is her enemy, and she is not safe with him.
“I am going to make you hurt yourself very badly, one day,” he confesses softly, cradling her. “I am going to twist you up so horribly that you will volunteer to destroy your own soul. And then you will experience agony beyond what any being was meant to endure, and then you will die.”
In his arms, she stays sleeping.
More words push at the back of his mouth, the specifics of it all, the worst of the crimes he will commit against her. He has never had the urge to tell a target his plans, before, but he finds it difficult to not do so, now.
He bites it all back, swallows it all down.
He lowers her, slowly, back down into her crib. Before he pulls his hands back, he finds himself rubbing his thumb across her forehead, and then brushing her tiny little cheek with the back of a finger.
He crouches so that he is on her level, looking at her through the bars of the crib. “If you ever see me, little one,” he breathes out, “run, and do not look back.”
And then he stands up and leaves.
He does not make it back to the Shoten before he breaks. The warmth of her against his chest, the slight pressure of her in his arms as he held her, it all stays with him — a phantom that his brain cannot let go of.
It reminds him of the first time he held Ururu, carrying her away from the monsters who had abused her. Rescuing her from the facility where she was seen only as a weapon, not as the child she was, not as a scared and hurting little girl who needed help.
The parallels are impossible to not see.
Without consciously deciding to do so, he finds himself in a liquor store. He takes three bottles of soju and leaves without paying. He does not permit the humans to notice him.
Human alcohol cannot kill shinigami, and he does not want to be awake to the world any longer. So he stops, right in the middle of the street, invisible to all who would see his shame, and he slices off the tops of the bottles.
A quick flash of power from Benihime, severing glass from glass, and then he is drinking - drinking like a dying man drinking water in the desert: quickly and without regard for the damage too much can do.
Six minutes find every drop gone.
Before it hits, he shunpos back to the shop, seals himself in his room, and lies down to suffer. _____
He wakes up to cat fangs in his ear.
He hisses, and the noise hurts.
A second later, he starts registering input from his nose, and is promptly assaulted by the stench of sweat and vomit. He can dimly feel both fluids seeped into his shirt, sticking to his skin.
He cracks his eyes open. The light coming through the window feels like daggers stabbed into the meat of his brain. He closes them again instantly.
The cat fangs retreat, now that he has proven he is awake and not dead. Yoruichi says, “The name.” She is angry, and before she continues, Kisuke assumes she is angry at him.
“It’s Kurosaki Ichigo,” she continues.
It takes a moment for it to register.
Ichigo. First protector.
First to protect, and thus never to be protected by others.
First to risk herself. First to the thick of the fighting. First to die.
In essence, Shiba Isshin and Kurosaki Masaki have named their infant child self-sacrifice.
His response comes like sap, slow and sticking in his throat. “There was a time, not too long ago,” he croaks out, “that we would have killed someone for that.”
His mind flashes back to what it felt like to hold Ichigo — Ichigo, gods, they are all going to hell — and then back to what it felt like to meet Ururu, and what they did to protect Ururu, and what they needed to protect Ururu from, and what they are planning on doing to Ichigo — and he starts to laugh.
It hurts. The sound, the movement, the air in his throat. The being awake. But he can’t stop.
Yoruichi’s head butts under his chin. Her tiny skull is a source of gentle pressure, of muted warmth.
The small comfort cracks him straight through, and he rolls over to hide his face in her fur, crying. _________________ … And then a decade and some years later Ichigo sits Kisuke down to lecture him on the Trolley Problem. She goes on a long rant about how pulling the lever doesn’t make him guilty for the trolley existing in the first place, and also how she would have been pissed if he hadn't pulled the lever considering that a good chunk of existence and her sisters were on the opposite track, and also can he stop acting guilty for figuring out how to save the world, please.
The lecture doesn't exactly stick, but that's okay, she can repeat it whenever necessary, on account of the fact that the world didn't end because the plan worked.
#bleach#bleach headcanon#bleach au#ichigo kurosaki#kisuke urahara#kisuke urahara's guilt#it's been a while since i've written anything and i missed it#so have a piece of fanfic as i try to get back into it#and also process some Emotions i've been having#if you see a typo or if something doesn't make sense feel free to leave something in the notes#parental urahara kisuke
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The worlds in the shitter, we are reclaiming our magic 🍷



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Pick a meme
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Disclaimer: please take what I say with a grain of salt and not as the gospel. I just want to share some ideas of practicing and giving advice using the medium as often as I can with school, work, and my own personal studies and practice. But I am working on sharing my notes soon so that will be exciting! Liking and sharing does a lot 🥰
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Socials: My Socials **☾**
My written blog+ tumblr+ tarot /bookstagram
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The cards

VIII of Cups ☕️
Well, time for some good old fashioned escapism?! Why do we read, pray, play video games, watch television, or live any of the other pleasures of life when the world has taken a turn? To escape. Its okay to turn off the news and to light the candles at 300am to summon demons for fun realistically, is it worst than whats happening now? (im joking) we are going through an era of overwhelming disappointment, we feel abandonment as the wealth gap grows and the people in power show their little care of the working class. Magic has always been a tool of the working class because divine principle values not of worldly possessions only that of the will to pursue higher knowledge. It is more likely for a camel to pass through an eye of the needle that a wealthy person reach heaven. The divine has no place for those who would sacrifice human goodness for material gains and so much material gains it subjects the people around them to misery. Magic for you is a tool for when we have nothing else we can rise in our own way.
Queen of Swords ☀️
This is forreal a new hot girl era. Like what most modern esoterica would state, apathy in the working is a virtue for when you lust for results you only manifest more lust for results. We must not wish for we can only take, we are building out independence as magicians and as people. Its the era to grow using our perception and criticism of the world around us, for a magician any act is to change, to make. When we realize the world around us has not changed the world has shifted far from progress so we must excite change ourselves, we must create the world and environment we can hope to live in. Being critical, learning of the world around you adds to your magic. Magic and science hold hands in a marriage they only add to each other and never take away. Be fair, learn, put in the effort to understand yourself, your skills, your own personal morals and values and be the change you were hoping for.
Queen of pents 🌙
What is the divine feminine? The divine feminine is dual, both a dark and commanding energy but it could also be nurturing. While we cannot reject the darker more divine aspects of the divine feminine and we embrace all parts as one I believe you should explore more nurturing aspects. Its important to note, that the divine feminine nurtures but never coddles. Lock in pookie, build your base, build your coin, save everything you can and build every skill you possibly can. We only add to ourselves we never take away. We comfort ourselves in our failures and successes. Welcome shadow work into your life to progress, do rituals to keep your intentions in check. Be aware of whats best for you and your current action at the moment, we are in the business of bettering ourselves for we can’t help anyone if we cannot help ourselves.
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Extras:
Story/vent:
School starts next week
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#suitlifeofgerm#askgerm#germ reads#daily card#tarot#pick a card#tarotoftheday#shadow work#pick a picture#tarot community#tarot spread#tarot deck#daily tarot#tarot reading#tarot cards#tarot spreads#free tarot#tarot blog#tarot reader#tarot witch#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot pull#pac reading#tarot pac#tarot pick a card#tarot draw#tarot divination#tarot daily#tarot pick a pile
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