#bleach au

[amazeingartist]

some shinigami!ghost & hollow!soap

[stormsthatrage]

Have a Bleach extended-winter-war time-travel-fix-it idea. In this AU Kaien's death happened before the whole turn-back-the-pendulum arc. (Yes, another Bleach time-travel AU, I know, shut up.)

As Ichigo and Kisuke are planning to go back to the past, Kisuke makes sure to emphasize to Ichigo that they have to protect Shiba Kaien. Apparently, it's of the utmost importance.

Ichigo doesn't know exactly how Kaien's continued well-being plays into saving the future. Kisuke never really explains it, or gives him a straight answer when he asks. But Ichigo knows that the Shiba Clan-Head carried a great deal of political power, and Ichigo also knows that Kaien -- according to Kukaku and Rukia -- was highly competent, incredibly noble, and fundamentally kind. It's not exactly unintuitive that a person like that could be important to bringing down Aizen.

So Ichigo listens, when Kisuke tells him to protect Shiba Kaien. He memorizes how Kaien died in the original timeline. He's attentive as Kisuke reiterates for the thousandth time that Aizen will keep trying to assassinate Kaien until he succeeds. He takes notes when Kisuke hypothesizes about what Aizen's various assassination attempts might look like -- poison during a meal, hired assassins at night, an ambush during a mission.

Ichigo ingrains the assignment into his core: protect Shiba Kaien, because if Kaien falls, the mission fails.

So when Kisuke slips a paralytic into Ichigo's tea and places Ichigo in the middle of the time-travel kido array and drains the entirety of his own spiritual energy to activate the array, a sacrifice that Ichigo never would have agreed to--

Well. The first thing Ichigo does when he arrives back in the past, numb and alone and only able to function by focusing on the duty that is his purpose -- is track down Shiba Kaien.

After all, if Ichigo is going to kill Aizen -- and he is, no matter what it takes -- he needs to keep Kaien alive.

Ichigo goes straight to the Shiba family grounds. In true Shiba fashion, they accept him immediately as family. They tend to his wounds and give him a meal and welcome him home. They let him get away with his weak excuses and explanations, and they defend his presence to the rest of Soul Society.

Kaien, in accordance with everything Ichigo has heard about the man, personally takes the newest addition to the family under his wing.

Ichigo's plans to deal with Aizen take shape around his need to keep an eye on Kaien.

Ichigo, instead of running as far and fast as he can from the Shiba clan, accepts the offer to live in the Shiba compound. He gets to know every clan member and retainer, subtly vetting for traitors. He sleeps in a room near Kaien's, allowing him to both guard against assassins at night and place warding runes around Kaien's door without having to worry about being caught somewhere he has no business being.

He joins the Court Guard in the 13th division instead of the 5th, because the only real way to protect Kaien on a mission is to be there with him. Ichigo knows that if there's an ambush, or if the mission details have been tampered with, he'll be more than enough fire power to get Kaien out of it. And it's easy to always get paired with Kaien; Kaien -- reliably taking every opportunity to hover around Ichigo that he's offered -- does most of the work, leveraging his status as lieutenant and Ichigo's combat ability to keep them together.

Ichigo finds himself frequently taking meals with Kaien and Kaien's friends. Kaien always invites Ichigo, and Ichigo accepts so he can subtly check the food for poison.

(Ichigo does not tell Kaien about Aizen. Ichigo is still unsure what Kaien's role is in the whole fight, and in the meantime, telling him about Aizen is a sure way to get him killed.)

Things heat up. Ichigo prevents both Miyako and Kaien's death, killing Metastacia before it can hurt anyone. Ichigo's shadow war against Aizen gets more intense. Ichigo sneaks out regularly to dismantle Aizen's illusions, destroy his labs, and attack his network of power, slowly weakening him.

Ichigo waits for the assassination attempts against Kaien, but they don't come, even several weeks after Metastacia fails. Ichigo takes it as a sign that he's got Aizen distracted.

Things continue for a while. Ichigo falls into a strange routine.

(And Ichigo tries not to break, seeing so many of his loved ones alive and unknowing of him. It is agony, to be around Shunsui, who is not his mentor, and the Visored, who are neither visored nor pack.

But the worst is when Captains Urahara and Shihouin catch on to his war against Aizen. He finds himself working with them as allies.

Allies. Mere allies, instead of --

Well. Not that it matters anymore.

All that matters is his duty.)

Time passes. Aizen weakens. There are no attempts on Kaien's life yet.

And then Aizen's web has unraveled enough for Ichigo to attack.

It's a long battle. It's a bloody battle. It's a very public battle.

Ichigo wins.

And it's only after it's all over -- after Aizen's crimes are revealed and Soul Society is at peace and the future is saved; after Ichigo finds himself still alive and adrift, with nothing left obligating him to keep going and everything telling him to give up; as Kaien refuses to leave Ichigo alone and escorts him to regular appointments with Unohana and forces him to talk about the truth of his past --

It's only then that it clicks.

Ichigo is whispering secrets about the future into Kaien's chest, Kaien's arms wrapped tight around him, when Ichigo confesses that he messed up, that he put the Shiba clan in unnecessary danger. Ichigo tells Kaien about his death in the original timeline. He talks about how Kisuke told him that in this timeline, Aizen would try and kill Kaien again if the first attempt failed. Ichigo promises desperately that he never would have sought out the family -- would have kept the danger far, far away from them -- if he hadn't thought he had to watch Kaien's movements so closely.

And Ichigo admits that Aizen never actually tried again. Ichigo admits that he and Kisuke miscalculated, that Ichigo brought danger to the Shiba's doorstep for nothing.

It happens like this:

First, the words leave his lips, "Kisuke" and "miscalculated" in the same sentence. Hearing himself say it lays bare the absurdity of its premise.

Then, Kaien draws away slightly, to look Ichigo in the eyes. Ichigo sees, plain on Kaien's face, a terrible, damning gratefulness.

Then, Kaien says -- fierce and defiant in the face of what could have been -- "I am so glad you came home."

And it clicks. At last, Kisuke's final manipulation reveals itself to Ichigo's eyes.

The emotions flash through him: the sting of betrayal; a flavor of love that bursts across his tastebuds as hurt; a familiar brand of exasperation that, a split second later, has his knees giving out under the weight of old pain made fresh.

Kaien catches Ichigo before he hits the ground and holds him as he shatters. And Ichigo can barely breathe through the knowledge that Kisuke would have been so smug to see them.

A sob rips itself from Ichigo's chest, and it's followed by another, and another.

Ichigo's older cousin holds him, in the home of their family, through it all.

_________

THE END except not really.

This must immediately be followed by a whole arc where Kaien, much to his own dismay, finds himself trying to hook Urahara up with his little cousin.

After all, Future-Urahara sent Ichigo to the Shiba clan. Future-Urahara tricked his little cousin into bypassing his own self-destructive tendencies to seek out family and love and support. Clearly, Urahara would actually be good for Ichigo.

And, you know, Ichigo clearly loves Younger-Urahara, judging by Ichigo's whole... well, everything, whenever the two interact.

(This whole matchmaking endeavor is made easier by the fact that 1) Kisuke is already infatuated, fascinated, and not a tiny-bit madly in love, and 2) Yoruichi is also, from the other end, trying to set Kisuke up with Ichigo.

This whole endeavor is made more difficult by the fact that 1) Ichigo is in denial that he loves this younger Kisuke since he never thought this younger Kisuke could also fall in love with him, 2) Kisuke is in denial that he loves Ichigo because that is a Shiba and he himself is a creepy low-born ex-assassin mad-scientist, and 3) neither Ichigo nor Kisuke know what it looks like when someone is interested in them.)

Poor Kaien. He succeeds eventually, but not before witnessing truly legendary social ineptitude.

[sashi-ya]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ エロチックトバー２０２４> MDNI / EXPLICIT CONTENT

MONSTER UNDER THE BED 💦HOLLOW! ICHIGO X F! READER ＫINKTOBER DAY 30: SLEEP PLAY

🐙 requested by: Anonymous: Day 30 f reader. Grimmjow? Hollow Ichigo? Up to you ⚠️ tw: mdni. explicit content. adult! ichigo. hollow hybrid form, kinda "the horn of salvation" form. sleep play. rough sex. 🐙 wc: 1k // kinktober 24 masterlist // join the taglist 🐙a/n: sorry about the delay! I've been studying non stop as I'm graduating in less than 3 weeks! hope you enjoy either way 💖

For the longest time Ichigo didn’t want to share a bed with you; It brought endless fights, much more than it should be allowed before ending the relationship. But, whichever was the reason why he didn’t want to sleep with you, you were still in love with him… yet, tonight, you would learn, exactly, the real reason. 

“I’m. so. tired” Ichigo grunts, dragging himself to the sofa. 

You look at him, knowing sooner or later you must leave his apartment… again, another night, sleeping on different beds. 

“Leaving now” you murmur, grabbing the keys of your car without looking at him.

“Wait…” he whispers; Ichigo might be tired, but he is still fast. His hand stops you from leaving, as it pulls from your wrist. 

You turn around and sigh; Raising an eyebrow, this time with no intentions of starting an argument. 

“Stay…” he mutters, looking down. Ichigo looks visible affected, sad, worried and most importantly, frustrated. 

You widen your eyes; are you dreaming? Is this real? Does he really want me to stay the night? In any case, you didn’t want to ask further questions… “Of course I’ll stay” 

He stutters, the way you kiss him makes him blushed, hot, needy. Both, tangled on each other’s arms, crawl towards his bed, flopping on the mattress to let your bodies enjoy each other’s. 

Maybe, Ichigo didn’t plan for him to fall asleep so fast after his body gave all of it. You, even though it was what you interpreted, fell asleep before he could have told you otherwise… 

Your back feels hot, but you still can’t wake up. It’s ok, Ichigo has warm skin.  Your neck, more than hot, even wet… are you sweating? Your hip… it feels like your skin is being… clawed? 

Dazed, too tired to even wake up, you are sure this is probably just a dream… this is probably Ichigo’s weight as he holds you tight around his arms tonight. Right?

However, there, on the other side of dreams, a beast within has been allowed to wander through the ups and downs of your anatomy… he has been freed, he or perhaps, “it”

White skin, yellow eyes. Half a mask, broken. A horn, and long, long orange mane. Strands like waterfall, kissing your skin, tangling with your arms… 

A claw, going up and down the silhouette of your spine… panting creature, desperate to bite, to taste, to fuck. 

“Mine…” just that word; that’s the only word aside from “protect” it could murmur.

What has taken over Kurosaki-kun? He is not there; he is not able to stop the creature within. 

His hand slides down your belly, coming from behind. He does, slowly. He might be a beast, but when such a perfect prey lays there, asleep, immobile, he must not scare it away. 

However, a tongue so impossible to control, tastes the sweet flavour of your skin. From your shoulder to your neck, warm and wet, ready to eat your flesh. 

You squirm a little under his touch. He stops, just for a second. And then, back to your body… His hand slide now up to your breasts, his claws wanting to burry on them, to squeeze… falling asleep naked next to him hasn’t been the best idea. 

“Mghn… Ichigo…?” you mumble, still dozed off. Your hand tries to reach for him, blindingly patting behind you.

A soft growl invades the room, that’s definitely not Ichigo’s voice… 

You turn around, still a little sleepy, to discover a beast instead of your boyfriend. It is panting, and it seems to be fighting against himself… but still desperate for you, as his claws carve more and more into your skin. 

“You couldn’t control him…” you whisper, taking your hand to his human façade side. “Now I know… but remember, Ichigo, this is also you… and I’m completely yours ~” 

You slowly pull the man in front of you towards you; it feels weird, strange, but a heat that’s been growing inside you has already taken over as much as his hollow had… 

That man, that beast, that hybrid takes a deep breath pouncing into you, pinning you against the bed with a strength you have never experienced before. 

Your face gets squeezed against the mattress; his claws pull your hips up to get you on all fours. There are little blood drops on your skin, right where his nails have scratched… and there is also wetness coming from your core, dripping down the bed, hypnotizing Ichigo in the most lewd way. 

It doesn’t take much time for the beast to attack; his sex, hard, even bigger, throbbing, searches in an erratic desperation to get swallowed by your insides.

“Do it, Ichigo… I know you can hear me, do it…” you whimper, still a little sleepy, with eyes teary and relaxed muscles. 

He grunts, finally getting his dick deep inside, in such strong ram it forces your legs to fail you and your whole body to be pressed against the bed. 

He immediately begins moving, in and out, thrusting with such violence your toes curl and your nails carve into the sheets. 

Ichigo bites your shoulder, panting in your ear, growling. His ginger hair, longer than ever, rains down his back and frames the sides of your captive body. 

You tremble, the sound of your fluids trying to escape your core makes it even more lustful. You can feel his intrusion into your lower belly, and you could totally swear you could see the bulge if you were to be on your back. 

“I love you” you murmur, biting the sheets, covered in sweat. Yours, and his. 

It simply takes those three words to wake this man up, from such a “heartless” possession.

“I’m… SORRY… I-“ he screams, trying to stop his body from fucking you. This last, being absolutely impossible. 

“Do not stop, Ichigo…” you whine, reaching for his hips to force him to go deeper into your core. “I’m com- ing… Keep fucking me, this way” 

Poor man, he knew asking him to stop would have been fruitless… he simply couldn’t have done it ~ 

[khr-guilded-cage]

Toshiro is Tsuna au

A doomed young soul, a dead child doomed by its power by a careless old man and his own father, ice born from a sealed fire.

Tsuna dies after his power is sealed and end up in Rukongai, a hundred years in the past. Now, years later, Toshiro find himself drawing the attention of some weird humans with not so good intentions and find his soul is not as cold as he though

Vongola find themselves in the middle of things far greater than their fires and learn the hard way that a death god is not so easy to control

[marladhynnr]

[tagzpite]

this took me way too long

[witchmachi]

he’s a ghost

[eerie4dee]

[secretlypansexualmango]

I have been brain rotting back and forth with @stormsthatrage about Shinichi in an au where only Ichigo goes back in time, and for once I made something that’s not all angst. Behold:

So Ichigo goes back in time, gets found by the Shibas in not entirely dire straits so they don’t need to get Unohana. Thereby giving him a certain lack of notoriety once Ichigo ‘decides’ he wants to go to the Academy, he’s still obviously talented- but in a way that’s more normal levels of genius.

So he goes to the academy, blazes through it in a year or two and gets accepted to Shinji’s division. Who is not suspicious of him exactly, but more curious.

At this point Ichigo knows that he’s got enough time to play the long game here, and as much as he was a proponent of throwing himself headlong into any and every fight, Kisuke and Shinji did eventually managed to pound some appreciation of planning and tactics into his brain at some point during the extended war.

So he’s not content, but he’s settled in for the long haul.

(he’s lonely and longing and yearning for his pack bonds but for Shinji most of all, Shinji who was his leader and partner, Shinji who seemed like he always knew what to do, Shinji who was never not there when Ichigo needed him)

But of course voicing these sentiments would have him either murdered or thrown into Muken so he adapts, improvises, overcomes.

He’s watchful, learning the habits and preferences of this new old Shinji, his favourite tea, what he likes to read, things he finds funny, how he prefers to order his paperwork, where he likes to go to lunch and his favourite shampoo. He watches and attends and he thinks he can live with this new normal.

Shinji doesn’t really seem to show him any real preference, but the regard he shows any of his officers is enough, has to be enough. So Ichigo contents himself with the occasional praise and shoulder pat. He thinks he settled into a routine that can last until he can make some real change.

Shinji had noticed of course, that his 4th(?) seat had always been accommodating and especially helpful and was always watching him and smiling - ahh. He sees.

And it’s not as if Kaien is trying to Shanghai Shinji into eternal matrimony with his baby cousin, it’s really more of a “let him down gently” (or they’ll never find your body) “if he confesses don’t be cruel about rejecting him” (or I will Bankai your ass to Hueco Mundo and back)

Ichigo doesn’t know what changed. (Kaien went to some length to make sure Ichigo wouldn’t find out) It’s just that all of a sudden Shinji starts watching him back.

Watching with intent.

It’s too much to hope for, that he might feel some remnant of a pack bond so Ichigo just pretends not to notice. Shinji for his part thinks Ichigo must have resigned himself to one sided pining.

Shinji likes what he sees is the thing. Ichigo is considerate and attentive and observant. Genuinely kind in his own gruff way that’s not limited to nobles or Shinigami. So Shinji decides, well he’s never been one to really hold himself back from what he wants so he invites Ichigo to drinks to test the waters. They both get absolutely hammered and end up snuggling together on Shinji’s couch, and when Shinji wakes up in the morning, sees Ichigo curled up into his side with his face pressed into neck, he thinks *ah* this is happening.

[detectivesplotslies]

Sooooo Bleach au time? Soooo I meant to finish these for @oumota-events Oumota Weekened free prompt but was drowning in deadlines, so a few days late. First post for my Danganronpa Bleach au, featuring lead role oumota! I am gonna probably post more for this later, I have a lot more worked out, but I just think these two fit Ichigo and Rukia's roles soooo well, and it will not leave my brain. Kaito the substitute shinigami is here, and Kokichi is gonna make his life hell!

[iwaoi-brainrot]

Bleach AU iwaoi comm by Nette on Twitter 🙏🏻

[reaperpie]

Ukitake & Shunsui

[stormsthatrage]

We need more fic (or like... any...) where Ichigo travels back in time, does his whole angsty thing where he tries to save the universe while grappling with the fact that none of his loved ones know him, BUT THEN KISUKE FIGURES IT OUT.

Give me a fresh-from-the-onmi Captain Urahara who realizes that this strange Shiba is from the future, is trying to prevent an apocalypse by assassinating a threat, and has a fascinating amount of himself and Yoruichi in his fighting style.

Give me a Kisuke who realizes that, at one point, Ichigo meant the world to him. That he himself still means the world to Ichigo. That Ichigo will never tell him this of his own volition, because Ichigo is trying to protect him.

Give me Kisuke and Tessai and Yoruichi slowly becoming super protective of Ichigo as they try to pin down who, exactly, Ichigo is to them.

Give me a broken-hearted Ichigo, who one day turns around and finds support where he thought he had permanently lost it.

[sashi-ya]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤ エロチックトバー２０２４> MDNI / EXPLICIT CONTENT

DEEP DESIRES 🦊 ADULT! KUROSAKI ICHIGO X F! READER ＫINKTOBER DAY 5: DADDY/MOMMY

🐙 requested by: anonymous. Sorry! Female reader, I really don't mind which you choose 😅Day 5: kinda like a breeding kink, but focused on the idea of both of them becoming "mommy" and "daddy" gets off on referring to reader as a future mommy, wants her to call him daddy 👀 ⚠️ tw: mdni. explicit content. adult! ichigo. he is already married. passionate/ kinda rough love making. pregnancy mentioned. oral. fingering. vag sex. creampie implied. mommy and daddy terms used. 🐙 wc: 1k // kinktober 24 masterlist // join the taglist

An October afternoon, fully depicting what autumn could provide, found your tired bodies from work, laying on the couch. What was happening on the tv in front of you, became irrelevant, merely background noise.

Soft, orangey light of a fall sunset, filled that tiny apartment. It was cozy; it was, perhaps, too little. Yet, it was enough for the both of you…

Your cheek landed on Ichigo’s lap; it was beautiful to look up and see his tangerine hairs shine with an equal toned sun light. Tiny freckles on his cheeks, also mapping his skin like stars in the sky. Such a handsome man, a strong, good man. Who wouldn’t like to make him the father of your child?

Father… of my child…

His hand, pretty much on the manly and veiny side but still delicate, slid from your back down and into your belly. It was easy for him as you lay on your side, resting on his lap, snuggled while he sat back in that tiny couch.

“I don’t wanna keep translating that document… I don’t feel like doing anything” he complained about his job; small talk to fill the ambience, to deviate a sudden thought that had invaded his mind just now.

“Then don’t; just rest for now” you murmured, planting a sweet peck on his leg. Your nails traced patterns on his knee, coming up towards his crotch like a crawling trail of playful naughtiness.

“Or you could “do” me” you continued, giggling oh so innocently. Ichigo blinked a couple of times; his eyes were hit directly by the sun, turning them into fire. Maybe, the same fire burning inside him. He looked at you, with a playful glint in those orangey beads, and pressed your belly softly down.

“Well, what I was thinking actually is to “make” you, a mother” he informs; he has never been this ready in his whole life.

You gasped, softly. Of course, you thought of it before, and somehow, something inside of you made sure to be absolutely ready as well.

Slowly, and maybe a little bit sexily, you stood up from your “worm” position. You crawled on Ichigo’s lap, a bouncy one since your silence had made him a little anxious. Your index finger traced a line down his jaw, with a naughty smirk on your lips.

“You wanna make me a “mommy”, “daddy”? you asked, never once you had spoken that perverted.

Ichigo inhaled a big gasp of air through his straight nose, closed his eyes for some seconds, and once he had calmed himself his sight fixed back on you. Sloppy eyelids, and a serious façade tinted his face.

His fingers buried deeply into your hip sides; it was as if he was barely controlling himself, almost as if a single movement from you could unleash a beast, a Vasto Lorde perhaps…

And indeed, what a beast your husband can be

Still in silence, he lifted you up, carrying your weight over his broad shoulder towards the room you both share. He can be as sweet and delicate, as the total opposite; and, that day, Ichigo seemed to have picked the wild side.

You flew from his shoulder to the bed. The mattress received your body, engulfing you into its softness.

“Spread those legs for me, because believe me today you WILL become a mommy” Ichigo said, crawling in between your open thighs.

You were both startled and excited; how delicious was to see your man so desperate to stuff you and create an eternal bond from both of your bloods.

“Ba-babe… yes” you stuttered in between some giggling, as he ripped your shorts and underwear off.

He lifted your legs and let them fall on top of his shoulders. Kneeled, Ichigo positioned himself to desperately access your core with his tongue. With a hand on your lower belly, pressing down as he sucked, he made your back arch, and your mind go blank.

On the verge of explosion, he stopped, only to use his fingers. Sliding them inside your core, he enjoyed the total raptured expression on your face.

From your lips, mindless words were coming out; Yet Ichigo wanted to be called, to be referred in a rather different way… if this was the case in which you were becoming a future “mommy”, then a proper term must be used to named him as well.

His hand got your cheeks, pressing them with a delicate violence.

“You know how much I like to imagine you as a mommy, mh?” he asked, as his curled fingers hit in beckoning motions your G spot.

“I didn’t know… babe I… ngh” you answered, or rather babbled.

He frowned; taking his fingers from you, letting you rest for maybe a couple of seconds while he took of his shirt and unzipped his pants.

As always, you ended up dazed, in awe for the detailed perfection of your husband’s anatomy; a substitute Shinigami that should be a captain, well trained, strong, delicious.

His chest, garnished by beads of sweat, went up and down as his heart pumped rapidly and oxygen seemed not to be enough to supply his growing erection. He had not been touched, but he was burning from desire.

And as hard as his abs, that was exactly how his sex, impressively erected, presented to you. “Daddy” seemed eager to accomplish such status…

Slapping open your legs, he slid in between them. His hands fell on each side of your face, and his sunset hair framed a desperate face. Panting, almost unable to stop his hips from searching your entrance, he simply stated a couple of words;

“From now on, you will call me daddy… because that’s exactly what it takes to make you a mommy…”

A thrust that you swore it could had pierced your organs took you by total surprise; the deliciousness of that first intrusion, made you carve marks on his wide back. Red marks for sure were left there.

All Ichigo’s body weight was carried by his spasming arms, that you from time-to-time bite as he kept ramming into you.

“Ichi- Daddy, I’m close… please, don’t stop…” you begged, hugging his waist with your legs, carving your heels on the small of his back.

Climax was closer, your walls spasmed, your muscles trembled and your back arched.

“Daddy isn’t stopping until mommy is very, very full of his cum…”

And indeed, that little apartment soon turned into a bigger home; it became pretty little for daddy, mommy and that little thing coming its way…

Taglist of amazing babes: @awas-posts @missfuriosa @theneighbourhoodferret @cyberdazetragedy @ariesbbytings @animesnowstorm @lenablack9919

[rakubalka]

I’ve recently seen the “who would be best reincarnated as Tsuna”.

love the Urahara option.

He would find a way to get a basement lab. Reborn gets a headache just looking at his file.

Now for the idea of Urahara as Tsuna we need to first answer few questions . That being :

Is he still in the Bleach Universe ?

Yes]

He decides to relocate himself to the candy shop

Reborn is gonna have to try and hunt down the Vongola's heir all over Japan and when he finally does find him he wished he didn't .

Because he now has an ex-master assassin turned mad scientist who is definitely a Mist (and for Reborn's horror also a Sky)

Not to mention the elements he has claims not as a Sky but a Mist they are terrifying like his Sky , or Lightning or God forbid The Cloud

Needless to say Reborn gets beaten to the ground regularly

Because :

Karin wants to practice shooting a football ball strong enough to knock people out but not kill them ? They have a hitman !

Ishida wants to practice archery with moving targets for hours on end ? They have a hitman !

Ichigo wants to learn how to play darts? They have a hitman !

Simply put any time anyone needs a target the hitman gets thrown in to suffer .

Then the Varia Arc happens

And with Kisuke who not Vongola but to fuck with them . Changes the chosen bloodline on the ring , so now only Xanxus and his descendents are gonna be eligible as a giant fuck you to both Lemitsu and Timateo . With Xanxus as Neo Primo

Reborn wants to run away but can't because no one can outrun Ichigo and Yoruichi who are teamed up

Then the Arco ark happens and Urahara has to mend people's messes and so fixes the planet because Ichigo has been through enough shit already he doesn't need more that's the main reason . The way way smaller second reason is so their target practice hitman doesn't kick the bucked too early

No]

Well the world is doomed

Because Urahara he is either going to find a way to Isekai either himself away or Isekai his loved one here there is no in between

And if he needs lots and lots of energy (like the all the energy of a falling on itself world) to get himself in the right universe he will do anything needed for it

[tired-pidgeon]

My Bleach AU headcanon is that if Rukia and Ichigo had told Byakuya they wanted to get married, Byakuya would have said that it was unacceptable because Ichigo was still a human.

He needed to be a spirit first, and then Byakuya would do his very best to try and kill him