#anakin slander

[dinlukewarrior]

Anakin is a Shit Jedi Master

aka, I finally watched Tales of the Jedi and I CANNOT get over how terrible of a master Anakin is

(disclaimer: I have not seen tcw so you know. feel free to come to my house and kill me or whatever)

so first off he's late to this extremely important test/showcase (padawan final exam?) for Ashoka

(the Jedi Masters that bothered to attend--Yoda and Obi-Wan--are already there. so he's late for his padawan in front of his master AND boss which is crazy. Anakin stays not giving a fuck about anyone)

2. he doesn't seem to regret or be bothered by being late at ALL and THEN IN THE SAME sentence admits that "he really wouldn't know" if Ashoka is a fast learner / how she's doing as a padawan

(hands off is one thing, this mf has his left foot out too ! )

then, when Ashoka aces this test with flying colors (wowing the younglings who are watching her) does Anakin say "hi Ashoka. so sorry I was late to your extremely important Jedi Test. You did amazing. I'm so proud of you" ? NO

3. he jumps right into "actually the test sucked. you have no skills"

which, okay, he COULD HAVE said "omg snips! great job. however, I noticed some weaknesses in the training droids. I think you can do even better. we need to step it up."

he did not do that. 0 points for emotional intelligence.

4. THEN THERE'S THIS SADISTIC TEST HE DEVISES

a/n: ok, yes. I know the entire point of this episode is to show how Anakin actually did train Ashoka perfectly to defend herself from a clone army (aka Order 66) and saved her life. THAT'S NOT THE POINT. it's the way he did it

the first time Ashoka gets knocked out, she's out FOR AN HOUR. AN HOUR. at this point, we know the clones themselves are starting to get worried bc Anakin says "Don't worry, she'll wake up."

when she DOES blink into consciousness, does Anakin re-assure her? does he have a juice box for her? does he give her some pointers before they re-set? NO! THIS MAN JUST THROWS HER BACK IN

It's genuinely cruel.

If this wasn't a TV show, if she was anyone other than Ashoka, she would get both extremely sick and frustrated/humiliated. Ofc Ashoka pushes through bc that's the plot but I could not believe how obviously fucked up she is during the episode.

Anakin doesn't even attempt to break her fall when she conks her head (approx. 3457 times) on the durasteel floor

under no stretch of the imagination is this an effective teaching method. Ashoka just 'happens' to get it bc...she's that bitch idk what to tell you.

so, Anakin's approach to being a "Jedi Master" is to 1) be almost totally absent, 2) care 0% about his padawan's physical and emotional health, and 3) take her into battle as a child soldier and do war crimes for enrichment

IN SUM: obviously, Ashoka needs to be tested and pushed--like all Jedi padawan--to be sharp and extremely skilled. but the way Anakin treats her shows a complete lack of compassion or even basic human decency.

[jedi-starbird]

Palpatine: My boy, Master Kenobi is lying to you!

Anakin: ?...yeah? He does that? Lying is Obi-Wan's favourite sport. Bant told me that he was dropped on his head by Master Qui-Gon when he was a child and Master Qui-Gon was really tall, so the fall shook loose some things in his brain and now Obi-Wan is allergic to giving straight answers. It took me 3 years to figure out his favourite colour. and his birthday. 5 to figure out that he's allergic to shellfish. I once told a restaurant that Obi-Wan can't have shrimp and he told me to "stop giving information to the enemy". I've made a game of it really.

Palpatine: *muttering under his breath* ok try using shrimp next time

Anakin: what?

Palpatine: Nothing!

[incorrectstarwarsquotess]

Can you do Anakin and Ashoka?

Of course!

Anakin: How stupid do you think I am?

Ahsoka: About the same level as Jar Jar.

Anakin, on the verge of tears: You fucking take that back.

[antianakin]

I feel like I've seen a lot of "Empress Padme" or "Sith Padme" stories where Padme's gets pushed to a breaking point and becomes evil or convinces herself into doing evil things in the name of justice, and while that's all entirely valid, I feel like I need more Empress SATINE stories.

Because Satine is, canonically, someone who is absolutely willing to go for torture and wrongful imprisonment when pushed far enough. She is someone who will performatively destroy things just to prove that she's "against corruption." Satine is someone who will see the consequences of her own choices happen and refuse to take an ounce of responsibility for it.

So I can absolutely see Satine becoming a violent tyrant while convincing herself and telling everyone else that she's just getting rid of corruption, she's just doing what has to be done. She will purify the world and anyone who tries to get in her way is just part of that corruption and will be eliminated.

Like maybe this is in an AU where she doesn't die during the attack by Maul and Death Watch, she manages to survive, but then she lives through the rise of the Empire and instead of being deposed by Gar Saxon, she fights back and fights back hard enough that Mandalore gets glassed early. And that pushes her to a breaking point because she REFUSES to let her people just... scatter, she WILL hold them together if it's the last thing she does, and she WILL get vengeance on the Empire for what it's done to Mandalore.

And poor sweet pacifist Duchess Satine just spirals further and further into her own darkness, convinced that she's just doing what she has to, swearing that it's necessary in the name of justice. But if her own people start questioning her, if they try to stop her, well they're probably spies for the Empire and she's promised to take out the Empire as vengeance for what was lost.

[muyru-iru]

Commander Fox: Supreme Chancellor, sir. Anakin Skywalker is advancing to your chambers....how do we proceed? Palpatine stops plotting/writing: AGAIN?! This is already the fourth time of the week...why??? Commander Fox: the usual, sir. Palpatine: the usual? Commander Fox: Senator Amidala, sir. I thought you knew...everyone here knows this. Palpatine totally in shock:no???? he never told me...>:( Palpatine: Commander Fox: sir? Palpatine: you know what. Fine. IF that boy ...lost cause...and i thought he took this serious. You know what? I am forwarding a mission for my dear boy, Anakin, and ...let's see...KENOBI! to look after that none-existing droid factory on Balnap...as if something exist on that planet at all. Commander Fox: why Kenobi? Palpatine/Darth Sidous: don't ask stupid questions clone. Commander Fox: Forgive me, my lord. But if you plan on sacrificing souls with sending Kenobi, you woudln't get far. Darth Sidous: how so? Commander Fox very reasonable: Gingers.

[tennessoui]

Buddy cop Anakin has both Palpatine and Qui-Gon telling him he is A Very Special Boy (Dooku: he is NOT, he is a GUTTERSNIPE, you have lost your collective minds, I refuse to speak to the Jedi or the Sith ever again, Obi-Wan, if you change your mind, com me, Dooku OUT).

this & also obi-wan is the quickest to say hey you are NOT a special boy you are in fact just a boy who is the worst - but if someone else in his vicinity floats the idea of anakin being a bad and or corrupt coruscanti guard, obi-wan is the very first to jump up and be like 'well actually he has an incredible record and many accolades and no he's no jedi but the jedi cannot be everywhere all the time and so they largely have to ignore most of coruscant so really it's good that there are men like anakin out there in the guard to help keep coruscant safe as there is no one i would trust more with the task'

and then anakin pops up like 20 hours later to arrest him and obi-wan is like (pleasantly) you're the worst most corrupt and laziest coruscanti guard in galactic history

[ineffableobikin]

This LADbible interview/game that Hayden and Ewan did together: I’m sure there was discussion about this a year ago when it came out, but I wasn’t here then so let’s talk about it now!!

Hayden remembering the lightsaber wrangler’s name (“Thomas!”) surprises and delights Ewan:

Hayden telling Ewan he’ll make him a pineapple jalapeño pizza and bring him to the dark side:

Hayden defending the honor of Obi-Wan’s space mullet (and Ewan saying he looked like a Bee Gee):

Both of them agreeing Darth Vader is the best movie villain ever (Hayden: “Well played.”):

In conclusion, your honor, they are adorable in this and I love them.

[banjodroid]

It’s both hilarious and sad that the pattern of people anakin dislikes is only that he’s an incredibly unreliable narrator

Mace Windu is just the equivalent of a stressed highschool teacher whose principal is a little bit insane and perpetually works against him while at the same time trying to make him the NEW principal, and Ferus Olin, another padawan , was nice to anakin when he left the order and anakin was MAD about it like “ugh of fucking course he’s nice to me still trying to show me up” and dude saw through him like glass but he’s been totally chill about it. Ig the third can also be said to be obi-wan his father-teacher-brother-master but their dynamic is a whole other can of worms honestly

[padawansuggest]

I blame Yoda more for Anakin being left alone with the chancellor than Obi-Wan and that’s about as political as I get thanks.

[silly-toji]

Once and for all, isn't it time for this fandom to stop slandering Anakin and/or Luke in favor of one or the other? It is completely pointless, worthless. People fight about it, tooth and nail, like both characters wouldn't completely stand for each other. Luke would jump to defend his father's jedi skills at the blink of an eye, he longed to be just like him and even if he surpassed Anakin at some point, he would still think there was much he could learn, there would always have something he could learn from him. Anakin praised his son's strength in the Force, he knows that deep inside he was supposed to do better, be better than him from the start; where he went wrong, Luke could do right, and he is completely okay with it because that's the natural course of things, that's exactly what he expects of his son. Luke wasn't Anakin's pupil but Yoda's line ‘we are what they grow beyond, that is the true burden of all masters’ applies to them too. It worked for Anakin, Ahsoka, and for Obi-Wan before them; it works for Luke. But, even then, like said beforehand, there's always something new the young can learn from the older ones, and vice versa, since we're witnesses of Luke's influence in Anakin's very soul as well.

[dinlukewarrior]

if I was a handmaiden I would’ve literally assassinated anakin skywalker. rip to sabé amidala but I’m different

[reythemandalor]

okay but the fact people are saying thrawn was exiled from the empire in the ahsoka show proves that absolutely Zero people working on that show did their homework. dave doesn't care. i don't know when he stopped caring (book of boba fett) but he doesn't. stop hero-worshipping a man who is only working for dollar signs.

[biscuityskies]

“He can’t answer you if he’s dead, Anakin!”

“Yeah, think about it! Although, he’s never been a big thinker. God rest his soul.”

[sukugo]

[maripostic]

maybe i'm the problem because i would've IMMEDIATELY said yes if ANAKIN SKYWALKER asked me to rule the universe with him... hello??