#anakin doesn’t got it much better tho

[asleepyrat]

ah yes the homies in law where one has a severe distain for the other

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

More headcanons about Anakin and Ahsoka being menaces to the general public

I feel like both Anakin and Ahsoka react to being sick in similar ways and by reacting in similar ways I mean they do everything in their power to ignore the fact that they’re sick 

Which is funny because they both get annoyed when the other refuses to accept that they’re sick Ahsoka will take any hint that Anakin gives her that his condition is failing and runs with it 

Man could breathe different way and she’s like “Master it sounds like you’re sick maybe you should lay down and let me take over” to which Anakin refuses 

Ahsoka’s just as bad because Anakin tries his best to take care of her without letting her know he’s onto her 

But of course she’s not stupid and can tell when he’s being more of a helicopter sibling than normal and calls him on it 

God forbid they get sick at the same time because they just spend the whole time trying to take care of each other 

And god forbid they get sick at the same time when Obi-Wan is around cause then they just turn into whiny children 

Like no seriously it’s like a switch goes off in their brains that renders them into beings incapable of fixing their blankets 

Obi-Wan obliges because what dad would stop taking care of their kid depending on the age 

Honestly my brain kinda leaned into Ahsoka’s chaotic younger sister energy with this one 

But I love the idea that she will just sneak attack Anakin and Obi-Wan 

Most of her “sneak attacks” go something like this: Anakin walking down the hall minding his business when Ahsoka drops down from the ceiling 

But before she can land on him he sidesteps and grabs her by the collar before she can hit the floor which results in Ahsoka moaning and groaning that she “Almost got him that time” and Anakin grumbles back that the only thing that “almost got her” was a black eye

He does have to admit that her random seak attacks have made her better at climbing 

Sometimes she’ll walk up behind Obi-Wan and try to cover his eyes but most of the time all she gets is his shoulders 

Most of the time it doesn’t even slow the man down he just keeps walking while asking her about her day and how classes are going 

But as she gets older she’s able to mask her presence better and manages to sneak up on the men once or twice  

Obi wan is always willing to admit defeat and congratulates her on her well earned victory 

Anakin blames it on his age and that’s the only time that Ahsoka will ever hear him admit to being “old” (he’s 30) 

It’s an ongoing joke that you shouldn’t separate Ahsoka and Anakin some say you risk a limb if you try others say you’re risking your life what most don’t mention is how you’re risking your sanity 

Because they become the most annoying motherfuckers when they’re apart 

Ahsoka acts like they’ve been separated for 10 years and will tell stories like she’s reminiscing about the good old times but most of the time the people she tells the stories to were present for the events so it goes something like this:

“Hey Rex do you remember when me and Anakin threw someone into that lake those were the days” “Yes I do remember that commander because I was that person and it was a week ago”

In his defense that’s the fifth story she told him in the past hour and he was there for all of them

Anakin’s just as bad but for a different reason because all he does is overthink

Like don’t get me wrong he keeps up the “cool guy” personality before she leaves but the second she’s gone he’ll sprinkle little questions into normal conversations like “Do you think she packed warm enough?” “Do they have enough emergency rations?”  “Did anyone make sure that ship was up to code before they left?”

He made sure she packed for every single weather possible, he packed enough rations for two weeks even tho they were supposed to be gone for two days, and he checked the ship before they left 

Sometimes Anakin or Ahsoka will just walk into each other's room and hang out they don't do much they kinda just sit down and talk 

Sometimes they have a silent but mutual understanding to leave the room and go bother Obi-Wan in his 

I love the idea that Obi-Wan and Anakin are victims of Ahsoka’s undying fascination with human hair she loves when their hair is long and encourages them to grow it out longer so she has more to work with 

She all but falls to her knees when she sees how long Padme’s hair is and she’s the creator of some of Padme’s funkier hairstyles (both Anakin and Padme make a small note to force Ahsoka to do their future kid's hair)

She’s also weirded out by facial hair so every single time Obi-Wan shaves or Anakin tries to grow a beard they’re treated like a different person entirely 

It took them a while to figure out why but once they did they lost their minds laughing (and also made silent vows not to do it again cause it freaked her out)

People often say it’s like Ahsoka and Anakin can read each other's minds without using the force 

Some people find it hard to believe but it’s pretty easy to tell when people are having conversations through their bond and when two people are having a conversation just with looks

It’s not an uncommon sight for them to shoot each other looks after someone says something a little bold and for both of them to be laughing by the end of it 

It’s just as common for them to get into little arguments and finish it in complete and total silence before one of them finally gives in with a huff 

It’s kinda freaky but they don’t seem to notice and everyone around them is too used to it to care

[weixuldo]

Linecook Anakin HCs

pleaseeee i cannot get this idea out of my mind (maybe i’m just tryna romanticize my job lol) also lemme just say this list is hella unorganized ( just like my brain lol)

warnings: cursing, ani is a typical horny young adult, smoking; weed

Muscular arms, veins!!

Beautiful blue eyes look up at the screen to see the next meal prep (you imagine those same eyes looking up at you like that if you ever get him on his knees)

He always finds something to compliment you on (even though there’s not much room for expression due to the standard comply uniform)

He’s almost always working cause he wants money and honestly doesn’t mind the atmosphere of the kitchen. 

Plus weed isn't cheap and he likes to smoke :)

On breaks you’ll often see him out back smoking a cig or a vape (depending on his mood).

“You know that stuff is bad for you right?” 

“Yea, i dont really give a shit tho”

You roll your eyes, “well don’t tell me I didn’t warn you when you’re carrying around an oxygen tank in thirty years”

He sent a play sad face your way and exclaimed “That’s so sweet, you’re looking out for my health”

“You’re so full of shit Skywalker” you say as you go back inside.

Though, after that encounter you notice he started to chew a lot more gum and smoke a lot less

He flirts with other waitresses too, but you are definitely his favorite

Reaches stuff on the top shelf when you can't. 

“Need some help princess?”

Winks at you from behind the window

Before you got to know him, you were a little afraid of him

He’s honestly so good at his job that it’s scary- he rarely messes up an order and if it's messed up it’s usually ‘cause someone rang it in wrong.

He’d be messing around one minute then barking orders at people when it got busy- he was always so focused on whatever he was doing whether it be cooking the meat, tossing salads, making desserts, etc

You used to see him roll his eyes or talk shit to other waitresses when they didnt do something right. 

“There’s a button for that ya know-”

“You didn’t tell me no onions”

“Ring it in if he wants it that way- I got too many orders to keep up with the shit you’re tellin’ me”

But he seems to be nicer to you…

“Hey Ani- could I get no tomatoes on this please”

“Sure thing, sweetheart”

“There’s my favorite girl” he says when you walk into the back. 

Some servers get jealous of his blatant favoritism (he takes longer on their orders when they’re nasty to you)

The other cooks get along with him fine

You can often find them goofing around in the back

But they think he’s waaaaay too handsome for his own good.

“Why you workin’ here when you could be on the cover of a magazine?”

“He’s here cause Skywalker’s got terrible manners and no game” another cook laughed.

“the fuck I dont” Anakin responded as the rest of the cooks all laughed along. 

His coworkers like to tease him when they see how flirty he gets when you come around. 

Nicknames include: “Pretty boy”, “player”, “heartthrob”

The heat of the appliances mixed with the rush of the night end up giving him a sheen of sweat and a warm blush to his pretty face. 

Ngl, this man would get greasy by the end of the night…

Dried food, condiments,and oils staining his black shirt

By the end of the shift he would have a lingering smell of char from the grill as well as a combined smell of all the food in the kitchen and his own musk from his sweat.

But the blend of labored scents mixed with his cheap cologne and deodorant made for an oddly enticing aroma.

You would joke with him during closing about how bad he smelled, though deep down you knew you liked it. 

“Yea, well we can’t all be in the front smelling like daisies and sunshine” he joked. 

He thought you smelled nice? You had worked a full day too- there was no way.

You insisted you didn’t smell much better than him but he shook his head, “nah princess, I could breathe you in all day”

That may have been a little creepy coming from anyone else, but it was anakin… the hottest guy in the restaurant, the talented cook, the guy you had a huge crush on. 

He’ll saunter into the back while you’re rolling your silverware and chat with you

“Ugh, I’m so ready to ge the fuck outta here” he sighs.

“Tell me about it, today has been so long” 

“Have you atleast made decent money?” 

“Yeah”

He laughs

“What’s so funny?”

“I don’t know why I even asked if you made good money- I should know the answer to that when talking to a girl with such a pretty face,” he says, before slipping back into the kitchen, leaving you with a heavy blush. 

He loves when you’re on ice for side work because the ice machine is right by him in the kitchen 

He likes to watch your ass as you bend down to shovel the ice- if he’s lucky he catches a glimpse of your lacy panties as they ride up your hips. 

When it’s not busy he carries the bucket for you and revels in all of your adorable “thank you’s”

His least favorite side work for you is when you are assigned to the front house because that means you’ll be spending most of the night in the dining area rather than in the back with him. 

Asks what you’re doing on your day off. 

“Probably gonna get high with some friends”

His eyes widened, “you smoke?!”

“Occasionally”

“Weren’t you the one who told me i’d be toting around an oxygen tank?” he quipped and you rolled your eyes. 

“Chill out pretty boy, I mainly just do eddies”

“And you never told me this?!” he grabbed at his heart with a dramatic expression. 

With the new info he spends the next few days working up the nerve to ask you to smoke with him sometime. 

Lucky for him, you’re closing on Saturday and so is he. 

After you check out all of the other servers and do your side work, you head to your car but Anakin calls your name before you leave the kitchen. 

He invites you to hot box in his car before you go and to his surprise you agree (you had a rough night, so why not? plus he is your crush after all)

You get into his car and unbutton your top a bit, it was hot in the restaurant today. 

He turns on the AC and steals a glance at the lacy bra you have on. 

After passing around a blunt the two of you are getting up there; maybe it’s the delirium or maybe it’s the weed, but he is looking finer than ever

you can’t help but hold the blunt between your fingers as you lean across the center console and press your lips against his

he sucks in a breath in surprise before he returns the action.

soon you’re on his lap, grinding on his growing bulge as he runs his strong hands through your hair and all along your body

tbh, you don’t even care that you have open shift tomorrow- this is worth being sleepy

[umemiyan]

And if I said I wanted to hear about Jedi Megumi??? What then???

Lay it on me I’ve got all day!!!

SCREAMMMMMMM 😭 you are unlocking the beast rn ilysm and i am SO sorry in advance for this. my meds kicked in and i have SO MANY THOUGHTS

basically he’s very much giving order 66 survivor in my mind!!!! like he wasn’t even a padawan yet when it all happened, just a small youngling being raised at the temple after what i imagine to be a rather rough start to life

i’m thinking about toji actually selling him off to the order instead of letting him go so easily, because why not??? if they want a force-sensitive kid so bad then surely they’ll be willing to pay a pretty penny for one. his wife is dead and he’s a bounty hunter or w/e with no means to raise a kid… it’d be better to let him go, but he’s still going to try and get money out of it. because, well… maybe he thinks his kid is worth something after all. he might even bluff and threaten to kill megumi unless the jedi fork over some credits, but he’d never actually go through with it despite the convincing show (good luck getting him to admit that tho)

the jedi typically identify and obtain force-sensitive children really early on in life because it makes it easier to integrate them into the lifestyle, but i’m wondering…. what if megumi was just a liiiiitle bit older than usual?? to the point where he has some more solid memories of his father and tsumiki and whatnot. so it’s kind of a strange adjustment to start being raised by monks all of a sudden

he’s a little quieter and more gloomy than some of the other younglings, and sometimes struggles with being in the right headspace. he’s not really on anakin skywalker level of traumatized and turbulent, and he really tries his best, but sometimes it’s difficult for him y’know!!! he’s still trying to figure out his moral code and inner strength, but he’s just a baby!!! he doesn’t get a chance to hone his skills before the purge happens.

and when it does, he’s not really sure what to do. he’s doing his best to fall back on some basic survival skills, but i’m imagining him being found by gojo or something during all this—maybe even thanks to toji somehow!!!! god there could really be some amazing plot points to develop here but anyways!!!

i imagine satoru to be some sort of ex-jedi or something because he really does not play by the rules. whatever he is, he’s still insanely force-sensitive and is now intrigued by the opportunity to train this little runaway jedi survivior!!!

honestly idek the specifics of my own place in all this LOL tho i would very much love to also be jedi-adjacent where i teach megumi a little bit but have many things to learn myself. and we eventually become involved with the rebellion!!!! but tbh i wouldn’t be mad about just being some random chick too who has connections to gojo or something lmao

oh oh and i feel like megumi reunites with tsumiki at some point as well and she’s also potentially a big reason we’re roped into the rebellion. but something happens to her and it really motivates megumi to do better 🥲 she doesn’t have to die LOL but i’m envisioning something along the lines of being gravely injured to where her ass has to be kept in a bacta tank or smth long-term. similar to her canon comatose state pre-culling games arc y’know

TOJI NEEDS TO BE INVOLVED IN THIS TOO SOMEHOW i mean he could easily be dead like in canon but i think it would be cool if he was still out there slingin’ blasters and vibroblades and collecting credits thinking that his jedi kid got killed in the big purge. BUT HE DIDN’T 👀 and tsumiki could’ve still been in contact with him at some point so there’s like a ~connection~ idk the possibilities are endless!!!!

anyways i think megumi’s story as a little jedi survivor would be amazing ❤️ it’s giving a bit of kanan jarrus tbh ❤️ if i had the brain juice i would make this a whole Thing. but for now here are my crazy thoughts!!!!!

[tennessoui]

Maybe to get that betrayed feeling for anakin at Rex, Anakin kind of brought up their past like “man I’m so happy for you like you got out and made soemthing for yourself.” And Rex thinking ya know he’ll never know agrees even tho it kills him to lie to his friend and then he’s the one to bring him in. Rex would feel so bad at the beginning but he would be the one championing obi wan and how he’s a really good boss and he does care about people

Also I feel like it’ll be super easy for anakin to be okay with a lot of stuff obi wan does because Padme and all of the mayor stuff gets tied up in the politics and legislation but Obi wan provides action. Like sure whatever he trafficks guns and drugs but the children’s hospital always has what it needs (I hate to say it but maybe that’s a big selling point because one of the twins maybe has to spend a lot of time at the hospital be it soemthing really sad or one/both are just very sickly children)

Ah yeah I feel like that’s gotta be a definite! In my head it would be like. Anakin and Rex meet again when they’re older and Anakin is very happy at where they both are now in life, what they’ve both achieved!! I do think that with Anakin’s character in general, there doesn’t have to be much there for him to feel betrayed. Like I think if Rex was like “haha yeah wow” and then anakin finds out later, that’s enough because anakins reactions to people can be pretty firmly based in his own emotions and perceptions of them vs anything they’ve actually done if that makes sense? It’s enough that anakin gets this picture in his head of Rex being a good cop now, being happy and middle class and abiding by the law. And when that turns out to not be true, I think Anakin would feel betrayed even if no one contributed to that picture in his head but him.

I think actually a lot of this au would be about breaking down the pictures anakin has in his head about who everyone is around him and what the world is like and what the city needs, with a very unhealthy dose of obi-wan egging him on and trying to also show him that his own perception of himself is wrong/could be better……with obi-wan’s help alone

And yeah also I think one of the things that make this au different from the other mob AUs is obi-wan starts out as more altruistic and caring for the city and giving it what it needs vs using the system in place to try and get change…..which I think would be really attractive to anakin who remembers what it was like when he was a kid

[engagemythrusters]

Okay ep4 time to roll my eyes

Hhh

Okay I’m bored already. Sabine is saving grace of the show. This is boring

Awww she’s calling for her mom 🥺

God I like this planet but. Overall for this show I hate it. Because the LACK OF COLOUR IS BAD

UM EXCUSE ME?!

You are NOT leaving ezra behind

You can explode thrawn if he gets back. BUT YOU WILL NOT FUCKING ABANDON EZRA.

I miss clone wars Huyang. When ahsoka rebooted him she took all his personality out and trashed it.

Shin Hati ur sooo cute.

Reeeeally hate shins hair tho. So 2020s.That won’t age. That’s going to stay 2020s and when people watch this in 20 years they will rightfully make fun of costuming.

Disney pay people to give a shit about this please

I’m so sick of Ahsoka’s shitty ass lekku and montrals

“Relax” YOU JIST TOLD HER TO ABANDON HER BROTHER

Jumpsca—yep. Knew it. Disney cares about nothing except shock value

SABINE N HER GUNS in her ARMOUR

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR

THIS JS WHAT I WANTED

AAAAAH

okay bored again now.

“Stay together” lines sooo stupid. Rolling my eyes.

I could write better in my sleep.

JACEN MY BABY BOY

Ghost?!

GHOST?!

Rip that guy he doesn’t get paid enough

GHOST

He’s sitting where his brother used to sit where his father used to sit. I’m not okay. I’m truly not.

Where… is the ghosts colour.

Where’s the yellow.

Also why… is that guy around again. Do we NEED mando refs.

AW JACEN PULLED IT

Bored again.

Baylon is interesting tho. I want to know more about him and Shin.

Kay stupid action scene. Bored. Zoning out.

I love cranberries tho I’m having a cranberri orange scone that I made from scratch. So tasty. Burned at the bottom bc my oven doesn’t work right (the airflow is very poor). But the orange glaze j made mostly covers it.

Ooo tree destruction

Okay all that twirly for nothing is so stupid

Oop so Marrok was just. Nightsister magic. I figured as much.

Buff Santa will protect the map

Oh this bitch knew anakin?

Ofc everyone knew anakin he was a bitch that never followed protocol

Buff Santa Baylon is very interesting

WHY DOES SHE HOLD THEM FORWARD

AHSOKA *DOES NOT HOLD HER LIGHTSABERS FORWARD*

IM SO MAD EVERY TIME SHE FIGHTS BC THEY DO IT *WRONG*

If they can’t do it right. DONT DO IT AT ALL.

This should have been animated. This should not have Filoni. This shouldnt be set so far back in the timeline.

Hhh when do we see ezra.

I don’t care about this I want exra

OH FINALLY BACKWARD HOLSING

Nope

Spoke too soon

Sabine putcher helmet back on

Hehe

Kanan and Fenn Rau taught her that 🥰

OH RIP SHIN

Oop buff Santa big mad

Don’t destroy take it

Take it YOU NEED EZRA

is shin really dead tho that would be bad and make the show boring

She’s not like Ahsoka. She’s like Hera. She’s like Kanan. She’s like Ezra. She’s like her family.

Oh no… clan wren…

Oh no…

Tristan…

Oh my god hera and Jacen and chopper and zeb are all she has left. All. No wonder she wants ezra back so so much. Even much more than before.

Stab his hand STAB HIS HAND

nooo sabine WOULDNT

No she would NOT

Oh butt

Sabine wouldn’t do that.

Ghost

Where’s the yellow for the ghost?

Oh my god

Sabine wouldn’t have done that

Well now she’ll be inside the ship tho

She’ll go to ezra

Ezra I miss you so much. I hope we see you soon <3

Gonna run right thru em all except hera bc she’s in the middle

Interesting. But predictable. Did we all expect that? Yes we did!

Crunchy.

Jacen baby you shouldn’t be here

IF THEY END UP NOT OKAH ILL BE SO SAD

Okay good good

“I’ve got a bad feeling” oh he’s like his brother he’s like his father I’m going to cry. I don’t… I can’t…

Wow great shot of Bad Lekku And Montrals

Sparkle water

WORLD BETWEEN WORLDS

Is she dead?!

SHE CAN WALK TO EZRA

..: she man save Kanan…

HELLO SNIPS

How is he full body tho he’s dead

Where’s his scar?

DID THEH CGI HUM UOUNGER

I HATE THAT SO MUCH

OH

The MUSIC

Wow and ofc they cut it off right as it gets interesting

Kay. Bored now.

[adrunkskeletonsduck]

Tʜᴇ ᴀᴇsᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄ ⵊ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ Sᴛᴀʀ Wᴀʀs ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀs ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴀᴠᴇ

You guys seemed to like the last one lmao | Sᴛᴀʀᴡᴀʀs Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ

I have completely destroyed my Pinterest feed for these

Anakin Skywalker - “swag” aesthetic, that was the closest thing I could find to his at least. “you only live once” kinda guy. Spends his time fuckin around with friends hes got a lot. He isn’t a fuckboy but he’s got every girl ogling him and he loves the attention LMAO. His social life always takes priority when it comes to him

Ahsoka Tano - Idk what this is called, but I love it. She loves to go out in nature, her room would be filled with fake and real plants, and she loves the city at night. Unlike Anakin, she balance her school life and social life very well. Shes the coolest girl to be around, and your ride or die!

Commander Cody - Gangsta aesthetic or at least he tries. Again like I said in the last post, he's a sneaker head. He hit a vape once or twice and didn't like it, he did get some cool photos out of it tho. Despite speculations he takes school seriously, just like all his brothers, he plans on going places after college.

Captain Rex - I struggled with his so much, and I still don’t completely know </3, but I think he’d be an artist aesthetic with a little bit of jock mixed in. Like he’d be on the (American) football part minus the asshole-ness that’s usually comes with those guys. This man can drawww, I just know he can.

Commander Wolffe - Your typical bad boy, but he does it better than anyone. 100% smokes, he doesn’t have a huge friend group like anakin but he’s still got enough. Likes more calm hangouts and definitely a stay in typa guy.

Obi-wan Kenobi - A mix of light academia and soft boy aesthetics. Keeps to himself, doesn’t talk much unless he has to or he likes you. His Starbucks order is some type of expresso. Loves architecture for some reason and has definitely been to Rome.

[thewriterowl]

Space Twins headcannons

Luke and Leia are the twin-suns and have a lot of similarities but also a lot of opposites:

Luke is a sub and a bottom, Leia is a dom and a top.

Luke is a bit more of a single man type of guy (though Boba may be able to convince him otherwise). Leia is poly (which makes Paz super happy).

Luke has always been a bit more shy and sweet, Leia came out of the womb SCREECHING and with a sour face.

Both are competitive, but Leia is more so (and yes, she is competitive about being competitive).

Leia refuses to say Luke was born first. She is the first born, even if that isn’t actually the case. Luke just lets her do what she wants.

Luke can be a flirt but he’s not the best at it; he gets a bit shy and awkward and it works in his favor in winning the hearts of people (Din pretty much drools over this). Leia doesn’t so much flirt as she just sees what she wants and tells them and then they’re together (Han got some flirting time because Leia was a bit more consumed with the war--with Paz she just snaps her fingers and he’s at her beck and call).

Luke is actually more independent and introverted than Leia. Leia is hella independent, and by no means is she clingy, but she is so used to being around people that she can flourish better in a team than on her own. Luke has always been raised in more seclusion and a chunk of his war-time was dealing with that as well. 

Leia is good with a lot of things but a big weakness of hers is numbers (as shown in her manga) and is not as adept to engineering. She is probably more of a visual learner. Luke needs to literally touch something to get it (but is fantastic in picking up languages from listening--he is not great with reading or writing tho).

Luke could live off of sweets. He wants cake and hot chocolate. Leia prefers bitter and spicy--I could see her liking spicy salted nuts and wine.

Luke really like bigger men with some beef to them that look they could break him but have a good heart (Din, Boba, probably Paz, any clone that has ever existed really). Leia likes idiotic men but probably likes cunning women.

Luke is an early riser. Leia will stay up till the sun begins to shine and then go pass out.

Leia is a perfectionist and competitive. Luke runs on a terrible guilt complex.

Leia will inform Luke all she can about their mother. Sometime, when she is willing to be more vulnerable, she’ll ask Luke to tell her about Anakin.

[siarrawrites]

Rating Various Star Wars Curses

a guide w much real swearing, inspired by a midnight convo with @kckenobi​

-----------------

crink/crinking -- what the actual fuck is this supposed to be. Who came up with this??? We’re only a few letters away from ‘crinkled’ or even ‘tinkled’, god. No self respecting Space Adult is going to use this.---  -2/10 pls try again

sithspit-- a classic. can be found everywhere in fic. kind of sounds like you’re hissing, which the sith would probably appreciate actually. (do normal space ppl use this or is it just a jedi thing tho bc most star wars citizens dont seem to know abt the sith???) --- 9/10 very sssssssmooth

holy sith!-- again with the sith?? ok i guess. a pretty good alternative to ‘holy shit’ but lacks the pazzazz of sithspit which is 10x more fun to say ---6/10 reliable but uninspired

frizz/frizzled -- what is this, the magic school-bus? I love Ms. Frizzle with all my heart of course, which is why im disturbed by seeing her name used as an approximation of fucked (it kinda sounds like jizz too which I HATEE). I can maybe see it as a kiddie swear like frick though. ---3/10 what the frizz is this

dwang-- ...kind of strange but you know what I’ll accept it --5/10 haha dwang the rock johnson

e chu ta-- a solid fuck you. definitely sounds like a space language, and has a nice ring to it when said with passion. works for characters ages 9-->999, thank you kiddie anakin for this gem. --10/10, ‘a fine addition to my collection!!’

sleemo-- sounds like the word ‘sleazy’ and for once the real word association does it a favor. You hear this and just KNOW what kind of person it describes. ---8/10 honestly huttese curses can get it

farkled-- ...this is the name of a fucking dice game. also it sounds nasty                --0/10 get sued pls 

blast-- idk if this is actually a star wars curse or an irl thing, but it absolutely should be. you got BLASTers for cripes sake this shit writes itself -- 10/10 it just makes sense honey

son of a blaster-- ok we get it guns aren’t a thing in space. except they are. sob is great i guess but consider son of a slugthrower boom alliteration plus badass space guns lets go boys ---7/10 alliteration is key

kark/karking-- amazing. inspired. beautiful. I regularly forget this isn’t an actual thing and use it in everyday life. gotta love the hard consonants she is cathartic as kark to use. -- 50/10 she just hits different ok

kriff/kriffing-- basically ‘frick’. Actually sounds like a kid-ification of kark and I just really admire that about her. 10/10 all the cool initiates say kriff

bantha poodoo-- the one that started this whole discussion. listen, this is fine when you’re 9 year old anakin skywalker and say ‘yippee’ unironically but for anyone else this is just embarrassing -- 2/10 ok if you’re baby i guess

skrog/skrogging-- at first I was gonna rate this one low bc it sounds weird and is a synonym for fuck (which just ain’t it). but then I thought about it and realized that if you replace bantha poodoo with bantha skrog you actually have a somewhat decent word for space shit. --- 6/10 we done figured it out boys 

snark/snarking-- this is already a real word. why are you stealing actual live words out of the english dictionary sir that’s  i l l e g a l  --- 0/10 for plagiarism

druk-- a solid replacement for shit, and more serious than skrog (though bantha skrog sounds better than bantha druk imo). gotta love those consonants, and a ‘drukload’ of problems is a phrase that just works. 9/10 will always be there for you

krong-- I just... I dont... know? How i feel abt this. reminds me of king kong donkey kong AND kronk from emperors new groove. maybe thats my own brains fault but also where does this work?? ‘dont krong things up’ just use kark? ‘bantha krong’ just use skrog or druk. In conclusion? --4/10 ok but you can do better

schuta-- we’re branching out folks! finally, a twi’leki curse. she’s catchy and  very fun to say, but it does mean slut, and we respect women in this household. If you wanna make a very despicable character say it though it will help make us all want to beat ‘em up :) ---5/10 all women are QUEENS george

vape/vaping-- ... ill give u a pass bc I dont think vaping was a thing when this word was made, but this straight up doesn’t work in the blessed decade of 2020 ---1/10 you’re on thin fucking ice

shab/shabuir-- not to be confused w ‘shebs’ which is just mandalorian booty, this is mandalorian shit. Sounds like a real word, is mandalorian which automatically makes everything 10x more legit, and has that lovely insult variation! ---7/10 truly some shit I can get behind (heh)

vong-- we don’t mention the y**zhan v*ng in this household --- -∞/10 legends can get right tf outta here

shavit-- friends, I had to look this one up to make sure it wasn’t actually a real swear word. I think I’ve picked this one up through osmosis reading fic bc I’ve definitely used this in real life. that’s quality folks. --- 10000+/10, will unironically say this from now on

-------------

KC, I cried laughing at some of these I truly dont know where they come up with this stuff. 

there’s a lot more where these came from but i didnt feel like doing all of them, heres the link tho , knock yourselves out

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Clone wars headcanons that took me forever to edit

I feel like my last couple of headcanons have been mushy so I’ve decided to write some shit Ahsoka and Anakin do that piss each other off 

Ahsoka bites the skin around her nails all the time and most of the time she won't stop till they’re bleeding 

Anakin’s tried literally everything in the book to get her to stop 

He tried putting spices on her hands forgetting that she likes spicy food, he’s tried painting her nails (like that’ll do anything) but she keeps picking the paint off, now he just uses the force to remove them from her mouth 

That’s gotten a few growls from her but at least it makes her aware she’s doing it but it doesn’t stop her from bitting them a couple of seconds later

Honestly he’s given up and just sits in silence while she complains about the pain

Anakin paces whenever he’s even slightly nervous and she can tell how nervous he is depending on how fast he moves 

If he’s just kinda anxious he moves pretty slow but if he’s like one shirt caught on a door handle away from a panic attack he’s teleporting 

When Padme told him he was gonna be a dad he was ecstatic for about 24 hours but after that some invisible timer went off in his head he booked it to Ahsoka’s house (she lives down the street cause of course she does)

Walked into her room and woke her poor sleepy butt up with all his pacing 

Girl swears to this day he broke the damn sound barrier with how fast he was moving 

She just wordlessly sat up and patted her bed cause she knew she wasn’t gonna get any sleep until he did 

She sat by him and listened as he rattled off all his worries and only really stepped in when the darker thoughts surfaced when it was all said and done she turned to him and said “Now let me kriffing sleep” 

Should he have probably left the room yeah but he got a total of 30 minutes of “sleep” that night so it’s not surprising that he knocked the fuck out of

Padme was a little bit alarmed to wake up without Anakin but was quickly soothed when she read Ahsoka’s message “Your nerf herders with me” 

She knew the pregnancy would dredge up some unhappy feelings and she also knew Anakin can’t think clearly if he doesn’t have Ahsoka to sort through the bullshit in his head 

She just got ready for brunch with her two favorite people and smiled cause she knew Obi-Wan and Rex would join them for dinner with or without an invitation 

When Anakin and Ahsoka were living together they would kick each other out of their own bathrooms 

Why? Well Ahsoka said Anakin’s had better lighting and water pressure and Anakin would do it to spite Ahsoka because he knew it would piss her off  

Slowly but surely their stuff gets moved into each other's bathrooms and it’s a weird amalgamation of crap 

Also when they were living together Anakin would ask Ahsoka if she was hungry before cooking and she’d often say no because she didn’t want to impose but his cooking always looked and smelled good 

So half the time girl would just end up eating some of his food when she thought he wasn’t looking 

At first he was like “Snips you said you weren’t hungry” to which she would respond “Yeah I wasn’t hungry then but I am now” after that he starts making more food on instinct cause damn that girl can eat 

Anakin gets back at her pretty easily tho by taking the first bite of her food whenever they go out to eat his excuse is that he’s “making sure it’s not poisoned” he never does this to Padme cause he respects her too damn much 

And he can’t use that trick on Obi-Wan and Rex cause the former taught him the trick and the latter has a bullshit detecter built-in 

Both Anakin and Ahsoka pull that trick on the twins tho (which gets them a quick scolding from Padme) 

Speaking of the twins it’s not surprising that as they grow up they realize that their auntie isn’t human so of course like any normal child they have questions and Anakin being the little shit that he is spots an opportunity for some laughs 

So he turns to the twins all serious-like and goes “Well my loves we actually found your auntie in a dumpster we have no idea where she came from” the twins are distraught and go to the nearest adult who just so happens to be their uncle Rex 

And Rex also being a little shit backs up Anakin’s story with so much sincerity that even Anakin believed it a little bit 

The twins being the angels they are apologize to their auntie for her terrible origin story with tears in their eyes and her reaction more than made up for the swift ass-kicking the boys got  

When Anakin was taller than Ahsoka he made her life hell by making fun of her every time something was even slightly out of her reach

He would make a big deal about grabbing it for her while commenting about how the temple’s architecture wasn’t made with the “young ones” in mind 

Obi-Wan has turned multiple blind eyes when Ahsoka socked the shit out of his arm when he tells one too many jokes some days

When she finally grows taller than him she makes the biggest deal about it and no one can blame her 

While Anakin is the pilot Ahsoka is easily the navigator she often jokes that Anakin wouldn’t find his way out of bed without help 

Which is funny cause he often acts like a herding dog with her putting his hand on her back or holding her arm to guide her 

But he’s wrong 9/10 times so it’s not uncommon to see Anakin guiding her in one direction and then see him get dragged in the opposite direction a couple of minutes later  

[calyssmarviss]

Spoilers for Obi-Wan Kenobi Part III

Saw 1 gif when i woke up and opened tumblr but i didn’t look closely at it and immediately closed the app so I’m like “was it who i think it was or someone else entirely? Does this show actually have hallucinations? Force visions?”

Mhmhmhmhmh last week i was excited now I’m mostly nervous

Nervous for what i have no idea it’s not like any of my favorite characters are in actual danger lol

Recap

It’s kinda funny that Sidious let the Senate continue to exist. My pal Friendpatine was like “I want absolute power but I’m still gonna delegate. I can’t actually micromanage all those systems”

The Tragedy of Anakin Skywalker is that he used to be so hot and now he’s an albino potato in a test tube.

Let’s go

Oh

Qui-Gon’s not home bud

Istg if they show us Anakin getting lifted off the bacta I’ll cry

I’m crying

Vader Assembly Line

Sexiest breath in the galaxy

Sexiest lava castle in the galaxy

No but for real, Rogue One was great and it brought us one of the greatest thing in star wars: the lava castle

“Where is he?”

Ah.

Aw he’s got a throne

“The Grand Inquisitor means nothing.”

Reva, you gotta know girl, Anakin doesn’t give a shit about things that are not Obi-Wan.

“Kenobi is all that matters.”

What was i saying?

I wonder if she knows he’s toast under that armor.

Until i know more I’ll headcanon that she had a massive crush on Anakin and what she actually seeks is Vader’s attention.

“Are we almost there? Can you make this thing go any faster?”

How much do you wanna bet that Anakin asked Obi-Wan the same thing like a dozen time when he was his padawan?

“Can’t you use the Force on it or something?”

THAT'S NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS LEIA

“That’s not how it works.”

*low fives Obi-Wan*

Aw she’s so cute with her blanket

Aw he fixed Lola!

I have so many questions about that!

Like, was it hard to fix? Is fixing droids a thing most people know how to do in the GFFA? Is it a thing that Jedi have to learn? Is it something that Obi-Wan more or less always knew how to do as long as we’ve known him? Is it something he learned to do in the last 10 years because he had to fix his shit himself? Is it something he learned because Anakin?

Nice music.

Actually I’ll stop on this. Their little cargo ship flying over this desolate land… and the music. Idk it just strikes me as - kind of out of the box for Star Wars. Not in a bad way. I love it. And even tho I hate that the franchise went to Disney and haven’t even watched the Mandalorian and the BoBF (feel free to boo me) I’m so glad we’re getting new content outside of the main saga because We Get Shit Like That. More Star Wars but with different flavors if that makes any sense.

Oh so not only did they have to stick to the trade route, they couldn’t even chose the route. That’s a fully automated ship and they had no choice of destination.

OH HELL YEAH HE'S FULLY HAVING ANAKIN HALLUCINATIONS THATS THE SHIT I WANTED TO SEE

(And that’s the gif i saw)

Rip that drawing of a very similar scene i never finished

Fuck I’m so happy tho

Sexy sexy ocean tower

I love everything about that evil base

Big Forsaken vibes in here. Oh I just spoke to the Dark One myself, he promised me Nae’blis.

Freck you weirdass mole you better not be a traitor.

That or he’s gonna die because of them.

Ah. Imperial flag. Snap.

“Absolutely. We like the Empire.”

😂 Leia, baby

She looks a lot like my older sister did when she was little.

They’re looking for a Jedi and don’t even know what he looks like? Lol. The Empire is so efficient.

You know what? The music is kind of giving me Dune vibes actually rn.

Oops. Bad slip up here.

“Sometimes when I look at Luma, I see her mother’s face.”

😬

Lol that Stormtrooper went okay we’re getting into personal stuff now let’s change subject and look at the view.

That wasn’t such a long way after all.

“You knew her. My real mother. Didn’t you?”

😬

“Are you my real father?”

Ahahahahaha

“I wish that I could say I was.”

Don’t say that in front of Anakin bro, he already thought you and Padmé had a thing behind his back.

“Sometimes I try to imagine what he was like.”

And here’s the guy who knows exactly what he was like just in front of you.

“I know that feeling.”

.😭😭😭

“I think I had a brother.”

.😭😭😭

Look it’s Feeling Emo About Baby-Wan Hours back with a vengeance

Sexy laser barrier

Freck how do you have perfect enunciation with that freaky jaw of yours

What’s protocol 23

Nice shot of Obi-Wan being beautiful under his hood, I bet protocol 23 is a full body search

I mean they called for a probe

IT’S BLASTING TIME

Wilhelm Scream

Good night Freck

Bro you could have just went around the barrier

Réinforcements!

Oh I know her. Or maybe not.

Ehehehehe.

Has he? Been informed already? The Force works fast but the Inquisition works faster.

I didn’t know I needed Leia and Obi-Wan adventures in my life but now that I have it

“It’s all automated, no one ever comes in here.”

Sounds a lot like that other guy said when sending them to the freit loading area. Looks like they found a pretty big flaw in the Empire’s system.

Oh, Ned doesn’t have a voice 😔

Oh no, you guys see some of them again, except they’re wearing black now.

QUINLAN WAS HERE

SMUGGLING YOUNGLINGS

that’s sweet

I always forget what happens to that guy, especially since I switched him and Ventress dying in Open Circle.

Sweet of them to interrogate a droid that can’t communicate

Oh that thing he did behind his back with his tool

I love his design, too

Ehehehe he low key looks like a serial killer with his hammer

Leia reading everyone around. Couldn’t read Freck tho 😆 he was turning his back to her most of the time

“Can you teach me how to shoot?”

“When the empire stood for something” when was that can’t recall.

“I can’t imagine Obi-Wan Kenobi doing anything wrong.”

That’s what we all said! This man has never done anything wrong in his life ever.

Well, Tala, welcome to the fanclub. Have you met our president Anakin?

(Also she was exactly the actress i thought she was at first)

YEAH WHAT IS IT BEN

AH

OH MY GOD

WALK WALK FASHION BABY

Fuck he’s going to feel him

I mean Obi-Wan almost passed out

So unless the Dark Side is dampening it on Anakin’s side, he’s going to feel him too. That or Anakin is just that obnoxiously loud in the Force.

Oh yeah he’s got you.

Sexy sexy force choke

This show is so hot

snap

Obi-Wan be like “you girls go I’ll stay and enjoy the show”

“He said not to engage.”

Yeah that’s his guy, don’t touch.

AHAHAHAHAHA

YES

😂😂😂 I can’t

Obi-Wan just went so yeah I’m not gonna engage. I could just see Anakin’s face under there. Like… okay???

(Like what are you doing man I’ve been looking for you for a decade and you don’t even want to rub lightsabers with me?)

Imagine how weird it must be for Obi-Wan tho, under the panic. That’s Anakin, there’s no doubt, because of the Force. But he doesn’t sound like him and he can’t see his face (and even if he could, that’s not the face of his friend anymore, that’s a wrinkled marshmallow).

“What have you become?”

Bro what about a hello first.

“I am what you made me.”

Aaaand he keeps on running away 🙄

I wonder if he’ll scream “nooo” when Obi-Wan gets on the next ship

“He’ll be fine.”

“No he won’t be.”

Well, he’ll be fine physically but Vader has that passive area of psychic damage when it comes to Obi-Wan so you’ll want to check on him afterwards

Asdfghjkl the lightsaber igniting made me jump and also i thought for a sec it was a Galaxy of Heroes notification because i wasn’t watching the screen.

Yeah babes! Rematch!

“The years have made you weak.”

And they made you so ugly. At least Obi-Wan’s still hot.

Fellas is it gay if our light saber blades are touching

“You should have killed me when you had the chance.”

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I bet most of the time he wishes Obi-Wan did.

My neighbor just came asking me for cellophane and ohmygod have i been watching this for two hours already

He’s so dramatic i love him.

Asdfghjkl sick burn

Now i really think the thing Anakin is the most bitter about is his pretty face

“Bring him to me.”

While i like how you say it, Anakin, baby, you could just make him float.

Did she

Relight the fire on purpose????

Oh i didn’t catch that it was Ned picking Obi-Wan i thought he was just fucking burning there had to go back to understand why Vader was like “okay I’m not gonna do shit”

Bro he straight up looks like he’s dissociating standing there

“Okay bye.”

Feel that burn Obi-Wan? It’s called karma.

Leia and the 3rd sister. Not good 😬

[helbertinelli]

out of curiosity, do you think anakin would make a good king of naboo?

here's a quick au for immersion (not a roleswap): empire still rises but anakin doesn't turn. sidious shits the bed, so the empire falls a lot quicker and his last desperate attempt to salvage his empire is to take over his planet: naboo. anakin and company chase him there tho and sidious is holding the queen hostage. the queen is killed before anakin fights sidious, and sidious gets killed. sidious also has a few goons wrecking stuff on naboo, but anakin takes them down as well. a few days later, the advisory council want anakin as king, and anakin is offered the title. he says he'll only take it as long as padmé can serve alongside him. she rules alongside him

naboo preferred young women to be their monarchs, so it's safe to assume that naboo prefers fresher, more idealistic minds. anakin always striked me as an idealist, and better yet, he's also the type of guy who will put in the effort. basically, he sets unrealistic expectations and reaches unrealistic goals by putting in the effort. he probably won't get involved in too much politics, usually letting padme put up with that, but nevertheless, he'll gladly put up with the meetings if padme is sick or something

for me, personally, naboo would love anakin because he geniunely tries to make change (and does so) and because they know he'll gladly fight for the planet. he's also a hero to them, which adds to his case

Both Anakin and Padme are very idealistic people. It would be interesting to see them as king and queen, but I don't think it would actually work unless the timeline changes and other stuff about their characters change as well.

If I understood your AU correctly, Padme's role in the story is unchanged and she used to be queen of Naboo but her terms are up. And then once the current queen dies and Anakin asks to rule with her, she is reinstated as queen. I don't see Padme taking up that role again. I think she would want someone else to rule, both because she wouldn't want to break the rules that were set for terms and because she moved on from that part of her life. If I misunderstood your AU, then just ignore this part.

I don't see Anakin fitting in the role of king because Anakin isn't really a leader (like in the administrative sense). He is able to lead and he's great when he does it, but he always seems to steer away from leadership roles. Like in the meadow scene he says he doesn't want to rule and that someone wise should. During ROTS, on Mustafar, it seems that he wants Padme to rule with him. Also, he's always following someone else. Even as a knight, he's still around Obi-Wan. As Vader, he's following Palpatine. So for him to have power over an entire country, would be kinda out of his range I think. Not that he would be a bad king, but he was never about administrative things and he was mostly a problem-solver or the person you call when you need something done. In a time of peace, there wouldn't be a lot of things that Anakin would be able to resolve without him getting too involved into the political side of things and I think that would bore him to death and it wouldn't be something that he would enjoy to do.

I could see however see Anakin and Padme ruling Naboo as monarchs for a very limited period of time because everything is going really bad and Naboo is in dire need of some stability and they need Padme because she has experience, and of course she comes with Anakin, and they're only meant to rule until Naboo figures out who will be the next monarch. So their rule is probably just a few months and at most a year.

I do agree with you that the people of Naboo love Anakin. In the recent Vader comic we see that he's pretty much as beloved as Padme is on Naboo, since the handmaidens and the other Amidalans were also fighting for him too. It would have been amazing if Anakin got to live on Naboo. There were so many good things there for him. He had people who appreciated him and who loved him, he had Padme, Padme's family who treated him like he was their own as soon as they met him, he loved all the water and greenery on the planet. It would have been the perfect place for him to live.

[tennessoui]

FeralObi anon here. How do you come up with these so fast?? Are you an infinite number of ideas and worlds in human-shaped form? I love both of those ideas. The first one kills me tho, Obi gets his first kind touch in years from lil Anakin. Also you can have lil Anakin coming home one day with a skulking, snarling nonverbal murder puppy and saying brightly, "He followed me home, can I keep him?" Schmi thinks this is definitely worse than the time he brought a krayt dragon home.

ah! hello! yes this is the first idea of a feral obi-wan who meets anakin when he's still on tatooine. i will also still do the second idea because like. i liked them equally as much rip me

but i told myself these were going to both be very short snippets and instead this one is uh 2k so i'll post the second one tomorrow instead of tonight!

(ficlet where obi-wan is captured by pirates/unspecified forces at a young age and then tortured for a decade before he escapes to tatooine when anakin is like 6. obi-wan, after a decade of torture is....not alright in this fic though he's only here at the end) (2k)

Shmi had known that when she sent her little Anakin away to follow after the stern-faced, warm-eyed Jedi Master, that this would not be the last time she ever saw her boy. She couldn’t explain how she knew, just as she had not been able to explain how she became pregnant, but she knew beyond a doubt that one day, she would see her little boy back in her arms.

She just hadn’t known it would be so soon.

“He died, Master Jinn died,” Anakin mumbles into the front of her dress, unwilling to move his head far back enough from her hug that he could talk clearly. “On Naboo. And the stupid Jedi council refused to train me even after I was so amazing in the air. Mom, I destroyed a blockade! Entirely! And they wouldn’t--they didn’t--” his little face scrunches up and then he’s bawling into his hands.

A slave, a born slave, knows intrinsically the injustice of the galaxy. It is not often they know hope.

“Oh my boy,” she whispers, smoothing a hand over the top of his head. She has questions. She has so many questions about everything he’s just said and what those strangers have put her son through, but the most important thing is a question she cannot wait until he has cried himself out to ask. “Is your chip gone, Ani? Did they remove your transmitter?”

Because she had sent him away from her so that he could be free. And that had been her own twisted version of hope, that her son could know a life she never would again. If the Jedi masters had proven to be just like every other master in the world, she would find herself sobbing into her own hands.

“Yeah,” Anakin sniffles and wipes at his ruddy cheeks, pulling back a few steps. “They removed it and everything. And--”

He pauses and drops his satchel to the ground in front of her. “They gave me credits. To buy you. For my trouble.”

He spits out the last three words like they’re the most disgusting thing in the entire world. As if Shmi’s freedom isn’t laying at their feet, mere centimeters away.

“Republic credits are no good here,” she hears herself say faintly.

“Padme, the handmaiden you met, she talked to the queen about me I guess,” Anakin mumbles, kicking his feet. “And when the queen learned that the Jedi didn’t want me even after all that, Padme says the queen says I’ll always have a place on Naboo. Me and my family. And then she took the Jedi credits and gave me these instead. It should be enough, Mom.”

Shmi sits down on the floor. With shaking hands, she opens the bag and looks inside. Yes. Yes.

There’s more than enough.

There’s enough to buy her freedom and take her boy away from Mos Espa. There’s enough to take her boy away from Tatooine completely.

“I…” she says. “Ani, I…”

“Padme said she’d send a ship for us,” Ani reports as if their lives are not changing right in front of their eyes. “In two days ‘cause I told her it might take a little bit of time to get Ben to come with us. But we can’t leave without him.”

This is said fiercely and with his arms crossed tightly over his little chest.

Shmi stares at him.

“I’ve already left him once!” Anakin says, stomping his foot. “But that was okay, because I knew you would bring him food and water and stuff. But if we’re both gone, no one’s going to be there for him.”

Shmi bites at her lip. There’s a lot of things happening very quickly right now, and she doesn’t know how to process half of them.

Her son has come back, after only being gone for a week and a half.

He has apparently either endeared himself so much to the queen of Naboo that she was willing to give him the money necessary to buy his mother from slavery and also promise him sanctuary on her planet. He says he’s done this by single-handedly ending a blockade, which is something she just cannot even think about right now.

He has told this queen--queen--that he will gladly live on Naboo with his family. Yes. Alright.

His family seems to include his imaginary friend, Ben.

Anakin has been talking about Ben for years now, ever since he was six and a half years old and sent by Watto to retrieve any scraps he could from what looked to be a crashed pod in the Wastelands. She’d let him ramble on about the ghost of a friend, because she’d known it to be something all children go through and experience. She hadn’t thought Anakin a lonely child, not with the friends he made in Mos Espa, but she’d always known that Anakin had a wandering spirit, ill-suited for Tatooine. If he liked to imagine an older man from a strange world hiding in the caves of the Wastes, then she wasn’t going to say anything.

“You have been leaving him food, haven’t you, Mom?” Anakin asks, almost accusatory. “I told him to expect you and everything.”

No. Shmi has not been traveling to the edge of the Wastelands every day during her precious few hours of free time in order to leave food to be picked apart by womp rats and desert critters and not her boy’s imaginary friend.

“Ani,” she says cautiously, quietly, “we cannot...we won’t be able to bring Ben with us when we go.”

Anakin, predictably, does not react well. “Why not!” he yells, backing away from her even further and looking as if she is the enemy. “Padme’s fine with it!”

“Aren’t you a little old for imaginary friends?” Shmi asks desperately, feeling cold suddenly even though the heat of the mid-morning sun has not abated at all.

If anything, her son looks more offended. “He’s not imaginary! Saying...saying that he’s not coming with us...is...is a bunch of poodoo!”

“Anakin!” Shmi gasps.

“Come on,” her boy says forcefully, grabbing at her hand and tugging her towards the door. She gets on her feet reluctantly and has half a mind to pull back just because he needs to learn that this sort of behavior is not okay, war hero or not. “We’re going to buy you from Watto. And then we’re going to go visit Ben!”

---

Buying her freedom takes less time than Shmi Skywalker ever thought it would. It feels distant as well, as if it’s happening to someone else.

It doesn’t help that her Ani is impatient and surly by turn, spilling the coin out onto Watto’s counter and barely waiting for him to finish counting it before he’s looking at the price of renting a four-person speeder parked outside.

“You won’t survive out there on your own,” Watto sneers, even as he’s passing her the kill-switch of her own slave chip. “Days. It’ll be days until the Hutts find out there’s a newly freed slave with no connections out there in the open. Ripe for the pickin’.”

Watto doesn’t have to tell her any of this. She knows. Gods, does she know.

But Anakin seems so sure about possessing the favor of the Queen of Naboo, or at least her handmaiden, which might be close enough to the same thing. She thanks Watto--she thanks him and then doesn’t even know why--and meets Anakin outside.

He’s bouncing around the speeder, little hands clutching his satchel to his chest. “Good!” he says when he sees her, hopping onto the machine and putting the parcel between his feet. “I got Ben something called a fig on Naboo, but I don’t know how long it’ll take for it to go bad. Apparently they’re sweet.”

Shmi goes along with it. Shmi doesn’t know why she goes along with it, but she does. She can see this is important to her boy, and though she’d rather spend the afternoon and early evening saying goodbye to her friends, she will allow Ani to say goodbye to his imaginary friend. Maybe she’ll even talk to it. “Hi, hello, I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed the imaginary blue milk and delicacies I’ve left out for you this past week and half. Oh no, it was no bother. My son insisted.”

The ride is quick--Anakin has always been a driver to push the limits of any engine he comes across--and before she knows it, he’s dismounting on a piece of desert and rock that look exactly the same as the last four pieces of rocky terrain they’ve past.

“Ben!” Ani calls, satchel clutched firmly in his hands as he makes his way deeper into the crevices of the landscape. “Ben, it’s Ani! I’m really sorry that I left! Ben? Ben! I’m back now! Ani’s back!”

It’s actually...quite pathetic, to watch her boy speak so pleadingly to the cold stone faces of the rocks around them, but if this is what he needs to do to say goodbye to his life on Tatooine, Shmi won’t say a word.

“Ben--” Anakin draws in a breath to call again, but then there’s movement out of the corner of Shmi’s eyes, and something jumps from the rock down to land on her boy.

She screams and darts forward, but the thing on top of her son snarls at her in guttural warning.

“No, Ben,” Ani coos, stroking at the face that yes, is human, now that it’s not in unnaturally fast motion. “That’s my mom, Ben.”

Ben--Ben??--growls anyway, pinning the boy--her boy--beneath him with his legs and arms.

“She’s fine,” Ani murmurs gently, one hand reaching up to stoke over the beginnings of a beard on Obi-Wan’s face “Oh Ben, I’m sorry.”

The man on top of Shmi’s child finally looks away from her and at her boy, which is both better and worse.

“Ani,” Ben drawls out, as if the word--or perhaps forming the word--hurts him.

Anakin is happy. Shmi can tell he’s happy without even being able to see much of him. It’s like the very air vibrates with his joy. “Yes!” her son says. “Ani. Ben.” He taps the man’s chest. “Ben. Ani.”

The man buries his head into Anakin’s hair, hands rubbing up and down his sides and his arms and his face.

Shmi needs to say something, wants to say something about this strange man touching boy like he owns him, but the memory of his growl and the flash of his golden eyes stops her from stepping forward.

“Anakin, get away from him,” she hisses instead of stepping forward and tearing the stranger off of her son. She has the distinct feeling Anakin wouldn’t let Ben go anywhere, not with the way his little hands are holding so tight to the man’s shoulders. The man’s shoulders that are covered with one of her old tunics that Anakin had told her became unsalvageable after its last wash.

“No,” Anakin says, tightening his hold on his...friend. “He says you didn’t give him food the entire time I was gone! He’s hungry.”

Shmi thinks there’s a very good possibility that this Ben is going to eat her, but she knows not to say anything of the sort. Not when it’s two against one.

“He hasn’t said anything!” She cries instead.

Anakin huffs at this and pats at the feral’s head. “Maybe not to you, but he talks to me.”

Shmi stares at him and wonders if there’s something she’s supposed to be doing or saying here. The man won’t allow her to tear him off her child, she knows that automatically. But she can’t--she doesn’t know--

“Anakin,” she tries, desperately.

But Anakin doesn’t even look at her, too busy petting over the man, who has at least allowed him to sit up. “Hey, I’m sorry, I thought she would,” he tells him in an undertone. “I really thought she would, but I’m back now. I’m not going anywhere without you again--”

He extends his hand and Ben presses his cheek against it with enough force that it pushes him back slightly.

“You’re coming to Naboo with us, Ben,” Anakin promises, clutching at the ends of the man’s long hair. “Or I’m not going at all.”

To Shmi, it sounds like a threat.

The way her son’s eyes flash an unfamiliar golden color makes her feel cold as a Tatooine night. She shivers, but no one notices.

[shrinkthisviolet]

☕️ the media's need to ~always~ redeem an antagonist

Ohh boy, buckle up, and let’s get into it.

So generally, with redemptions, they can be done in three ways: dying for romantic love, dying for platonic love, or a grueling journey in which the antagonist earns their redemption.

Option 2 is done well with Darth Vader, who dies protecting his son. Notably, the narrative never excuses his actions or lets him do so–Luke offers him Option 3, and he refuses. Granted, he’s on the verge of death, and maybe he wouldn’t live long enough to actually fulfill Option 3, but let me tell you something about Anakin Skywalker. He doesn’t care about the odds. If he wants something, he will take it, screw the consequences or the odds of survival. It’s how he fell to the Dark Side in the first place. The choice to die here, to reject Option 3, to not burden the Rebellion with his presence...it’s a testament to how much he’s grown. He isn’t a hero, but he isn’t quite a villain at this point anymore. It’s why the Force allows him to be a Ghost.

Option 1 can be done well, possibly, but I’ve only seen poor examples, myself. A certain other Star Wars villain comes to mind, but I’ll just leave it at that–I think it’s self-explanatory.

Option 3 is done very well in Johnny Lawrence imo. His crimes are not comparable to Vader’s, but he too is an antagonist. In the first Karate Kid movie, he bullied Daniel LaRusso, beat him up a bunch, and maintained a warped perception of the whole thing (perhaps as a subconscious way to avoid responsibility. Emphasis on subconscious–it’s a very human thing to absolve ourselves of guilt, this does not inherently make him a bad person. His actions in KK1 are cruel, but the justification is a human thing to do). The narrative even calls him out for this via a character in S3, and it’s not just a headcanon that his story to Miguel in S1 about Daniel was heavily biased.

By the time of Cobra Kai, we see that Johnny’s fallen on hard times, and even throughout the series, we see him unlearning the Cobra Kai rhetoric that he’s known all his life. He reconciles with Daniel over and over, and each subsequent time goes better than the last–it’s progress, slow but sure. We don’t see an apology from him to Daniel, but we can believe that it will happen, either on- or offscreen (preferably onscreen, Cobra Kai writers!).

It also helps that Johnny isn’t the main villain (and neither is Daniel, so I better not see any replies or reblogs of this calling him that). That “honor” goes to John Kreese, the man who started it all. But my thoughts on this show could go on forever, and I’m trying to avoid spoiling too much, so feel free to send another ask if you’re curious about my thoughts on the show or any of its characters!

Now, the crux of the matter: I think media should invest in not redeeming its villains/antagonists. Because yes, it can be done well (see Vader and Johnny), but it can also be done poorly. And I can think of three candidates who are much better as unabashed villains: Azula, Yzma, and Loki.

Azula...is complicated. She’s a 14-year-old abuse victim, but she also committed numerous atrocities in the name of her country and was toxic to her two best friends (yes, both of them. Mai wouldn’t have chosen Azula over her brother if she wasn’t afraid of Azula). Could she be redeemed? Of course, she’s 14 (tho I will leave my thoughts on that at “Option 3 or nothing at all”). Does she need to be? No, she doesn’t. Her contrast with Zuko, and her contrast with Katara, means that narratively, she’s most powerful as an antagonist.

Yzma and Loki are purely agents of chaos. Giving them a backstory is one thing, but excusing their actions? Hot take, but I find the Loki in his new show much more compelling than the one we got in Infinity War. I know that Loki was mind-controlled in Avengers, but even if we excuse all of his actions, he just...doesn’t suit the hero role imo. If anything, he’s an anti-hero. The Avengers would bore him quickly if he were on their team, and honestly, that’s for the best. Just let him be villainous! Same for Yzma.

TL;DR: Villain/antagonist redemptions can be done well if done carefully, but they aren’t mandatory. In fact, I’d argue that an unabashedly evil villain/antagonist is much more compelling.

Send me “☕️” and a topic and I’ll talk about it!

[sassysnowperson]

writer's meme - TY to @r0b0tb0y for the tag!

How many works do you have on AO3?

168 - oh man that's more than I'd realized. I passed 150 and didn't even notice!

What’s your total AO3 word count?

1,133,901

So many.

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Since r0b0tb0y and I were just talking about this, I conveniently have a list of all 20 ranked by number of works

134 - Star Wars 7 - Original Works 7 - Marvel 2 - Pirates of The Carribean 2 - The Old Guard 2 - Discworld 1 - Good Omens 1 - Leverage 1 - The Good Place 1 - Avatar: The Last Airbender 1 - Ocean’s 11 1 - Harry Potter 1 - The Goblin Emperor 1 - Gundam Wing 1 - Star Trek: TNG 1 - Hades (Videogame) 1 - Sailor Moon 1 - Russian Doll 1 - Mummy/Wonder Woman crossover

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Lol, looking at my top five - it falls into two categories

1. Fics I wrote right at the height of a fandom's popularity that got a massive reader boost because it was the Hot Thing Right Then

2. Star Wars Fix-Its

~

A Series of Better Decisions - A Padme/Obi-Wan/Anakin SW Prequel Trilogy fix-it where Anakin talks to Obi-Wan and spends Revenge of the Sith in a stressed-out bisexual panic instead of becoming a Space Fascist. He winds up fake-poly-dating Obi-Wan to try to bring down Palpatine, and eventually winds up in a better place due to the power of Quitting Your Job and becoming a househusband.

Galactic Response Time - Captain Marvel - an at the time MCU canon-compliant gen fic that ran the universe forward and explained how Carol really TRIED to show up for all those other crises that happened, but it turns out most of the major MCU disasters only lasted like three days and space is real big, y'all. Featuring Nick Fury cathartically bitching with his Space Bestie.

New Lands for the Living - Fix-it where the sequel trilogy ends Even Worse, Poe goes back in time to mercy-kill the timeline, and much to his dismay winds up married to just-before-Original-Trilogy Luke Skywalker. He has an existential crisis about his own existence, meets some competent women, and starts fixing things.

Life's Little Pleasures - The Good Omens fic where I put all my ace feelings, featuring metaphysical bonding and good scotch.

Flustered - Another Padme/Anakin/Obi-Wan SW Prequel Trilogy fix-it, where Order 66 never happens. Anakin gets some therapy and Padme gets a horrible crush on Obi-Wan.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do! I love getting to talk to people about fics, and I so appreciate people making the effort to comment I want to spend some time with them! It's so much easier not to comment, I know.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm this is not my normal wheelhouse. I usually go angst that gets resolved by the end. Let me look to see what the options are.

Okay, I think we've got two contendors: In Waystation an exhausted Poe Dameron crash-lands in a station where a Bodhi Rook that lived and then hid now lives with Baze and Chirrut. There is a little epilgue that implies they're going to meet again, but the bulk of the fic does end with Poe making the decision to go back to the Resistance, and leaving Bodhi behind. Still, I think it's more wistful, rather than angsty.

Time Enough for Mourning takes it though, I think. Davits Draven/Antoc Merrick, that is entirely about Draven mourning the fact that Antoc has died. The end is still, I think, more cathartic than angsty, but it is overall probably the strongest "break out the waterworks" of my fics.

Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I do occasionally, usually when someone prompts me and I find something in there that makes my brain go!!! I think the strangest is probably The Face Underneath. It's a Cassian Andor/Elim Garak fic where I drag Garak into the Star Wars Universe for a triple drabble series where he is an old mentor of Cassian's.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Mmm, not proper hate. Realtalk, the most devastating one for me was when I posted a fic that the only comment was a spelling critique.

And yes, there was a spelling error, but still, very crushing to have that be the only feedback. (It has since found a few readers that said nice things, very healing :D)

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yes! Uh - consensual, between adults, often M/M adults, tho I have written explicit femslash, hetfic, and poly piles. It's usually affectionate, often plays with power dynamics even if it doesn't go into full dom/sub.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that anyone has made me aware of, I've never looked.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Had a request or two, but never been linked the result - so not sure if it didn't happen or if I just didn't get linked. I welcome it!

I have had several fics podficced, and I LOVE that. What a joy! Making a blanket permission statement that allowed podfic is one of the best decisions I've made as a fic author. Suddenly, Podfic!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Once or twice! I like the idea of doing it, but follow-through is hard. Hoping to do some co-writing soon though, so we will see!

What’s your all time favourite ship?

Sorry, unrepentant multi-shipper here. I like possibilities, and finding the story that will bring people together, more than one specific thing.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't have ANYTHING I've given up on, but there are a few fics in my unpublished drafts that were beautiful ideas, and really struggled to become contained stories. They all want to be sprawling things, and I have not felt sprawling-thing-writing passionate about those ideas. But, you never know! Inspiration may strike.

What are your writing strengths?

I'd say character voice, along with that, dialogue. Also humor moments that still have real weight and don't undercut the story, as well as straight comedy writing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

You see, I, uh, do this thing where I don't really end a sentence - I think about ending it, I even assume, at some point while I'm writing that I have ended it; I have not and it meanders, persistently, until I have constructed a whole paragraph made out of one chain of words and a hodgepodge of punctuation.

Also the thing where I accidentally use an unusual word five times in one paragraph because my brain has grabbed onto it like an excited puppy and keeps offering it up as the Perfect Word.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I love having multilingual characters. When writing, I tend to keep all the words in English and use dialogue tags to denote language shift - unless I am inventing the language, or have a speaker of that language willing to beta the bits to make sure I don't mess them up too badly.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Actually wrote and posted? Rogue One.

Fandom of my heart my younger self spun out stories in my imagination about? Where if I had my own computer and easy access to a fic archive they almost certainly would have become spectacularly earnest fics?

ReBoot and Sailor Moon. The Sailor Moon was an AU that took place on the sun and they all had kick-ass horses. Baby Sass knew what was up.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Nope, sorry, can't pick, love them all in different ways for different reasons.

Tagging: @semisweetshadow, @anamelesstraveler, @jules-of-the-crown - and generally if you follow me and want to do it, do so and tag me in it!

[chosenimagines]

Hello! I saw you wrote someone a ship request and was wondering if I could have one for Harry Potter (preferably marauders era) and Star Wars? Thanks!

Here’s my info: I’m an INFP muggle born slytherin. My enneagram is counter phobic 6w5 and my moral alignment is chaotic good. I’m about 5’1”. I have dark brown (almost black) layered hair with curtain bangs. I have dark brown almond shaped eyes and tan skin. My pronouns are she/them and I’m bi (although I prefer guys). I'm a bit quiet and introverted but once I trust you enough to open up I tend to be sarcastic and tease. I don’t trust easily, but once I do I’m very loyal. I’m also a very passionate person who feels emotions very deeply. I like doing adventurous stuff and exploring (intellectually and physically) and feel especially connected to nature and space. I love to try and understand things from different perspectives, however I don’t always agree with them. I LOVE music (anything from rock to classical). I like to read, write, and watch movies (fantasy, action, sci-fi, or mystery). I do martial arts and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE daggers (I also train with nunchucks, staffs, double stick, and butterfly knife, but daggers are my favorite). My fighting style and how I move is very smooth and sharp, much like water or air. I’d like to think I’m strong— both mentally and physically— but it’s more of a quiet strength. I’m confident in who I am and what I can do even if it doesn’t fit the way things normally are. I find my own way to express, defend, and present myself. I love fashion and my style/aesthetic ranges from dark academia to vintage. I like silver rings a lot. I play piano, ukulele, sing, draw, and anything creative. I was very active and competitive as kid (I still am) and overtime I honed into the skills or activities I felt passionate about.

Thank you :)

Thank you for your patience @silverblades! But I didn't use the info about your appearance or the INFP, counter phobic 6w5 and moral alignment thing because I have no clue what all of these things are. But I still hope you like the matchup I am very inexperienced when it comes to these matchups.

So here we go! My matchup for you:

From the Harry Potter universe I am shipping you with

S I R I U S    B L A C K

even though you are a Slytherin I truly think he would fall in love with you because of your loyalty, your passion, your adventurous soul after he got to know you better. Before that he would be interested you because of your aesthetic which he thinks is super cool what is the reason he would make a move on you. He would dig you doing martial arts and your love for daggers. Sirius would think it is super cool and extraordinary! When he gets to know you better he falls for your creativity and how you like to express it. When you are dating he would definitely ask you to do a martial arts fight with you because he wants to show you how strong he is. After you defeated him you are giving him lessons after he asked. But that is not the only thing you two do together. He loves to read everything you write even tho he doesn’t get everything because he isn’t into writing.

From the Star Wars the Clone Wars universe I am shipping you with

A N A K I N    S K Y W A L K E R

you and Anakin are having the same values and many similar traits. The both of you value leadership, success and ambition. You are very loyal and adventurous people what draws you close together. You have fun all the time and come up with the most stupid ideas which lead to you being saved by Obi-Wan. But that doesn’t keep from keep following your ideas! Besides you two train martial arts a lot especially with daggers. But the training often leads straight into a heavy competition. At the times Obi-Wan has to tell you guys to stop and called it a day but you two find other ways to settle this because you can’t accept ties between the two of you.

Again I am hoping that you like it! If don't I am sorry