#an universal truth

[autuboho]

never heard word in my life, I’m probably research it later

i hate you "pair the spares"/"everyone must be paired" tropes, i hate you forced last minute romances, i hate you implication that a happy ending means a romantic partner, i hate you amatonormativity

[bethanydelleman]

Someone on Reddit keeps getting recommended the Jane Austen subreddit despite knowing nothing about Jane Austen, so they posted an Ask Me Anything. Best response so far:

Sorry JA, no longer a truth universally acknowledged.

[glassrunner]

"There is no prize to perfection, only an end to pursuit. In all timelines, in all possibilities... only you can show me this."

JAYCE AND VIKTOR | ARCANE S02E09

[prlssprfctn]

Every time another joke about Batman/Bruce Wayne passes by me, I can't help but imagine that the whole rumour about these two dating was originally (and probably accidentally) created by Bruce himself.

Just imagine, a teen Bruce, still only starting with his vigilante career, makes a crucial mistake - he pays with his own credit card in front of people, while being Batman. A stupid, absolutely instinctive mistake, but in his defence he wasn't sleeping normally for a week, and had an open wound in his stomach that day, so. Whoops.

And then someone asks Bruce Wayne about it, in front of a thousand cameras. And he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind.

Reporter: So, mister Wayne, recently citizens had reported that they saw Batman paying for the damage in the city... with your credit card. Care to explain details behind this?

Bruce, smiling stupidly: Oh, he is my ex. I sometimes sponsor him.

The crowd: (goes wild)

Alfred, starting at the interview back in the Batcave: ...We are never going to get rid of this, are we?

And guess what? They don't!

Bruce thinks that with time passing, with his love interests switching and new rumours spawning in the world, they might forget about it. He was young, he was stupid - he fucked up, alright?

But decades pass. He has a whole football team of kids. Everyone still ship Bruce and Batman.

And when this stupid video accidentally gets resurfaced on the internet again, his family goes insane. They start creating even more stupid rumours on galas.

Reporter: Mister Wayne... For years now, the crowds are speculating... Who is exactly your mother, and where is she now?

Damian, sighing pitifully: My father and my mother don't enjoy contacting each other, sadly. My mom says that their relationship was just a rebound; father desperately tries to forget Batman... Still, to this day.

Bruce, gripping the glass of champagne: ...

Talia, watching this interview with Ra's: Now, that's my son right there.

Dick: Oh, why I was screaming at Batman in the middle of the street a few days ago? Oh, this bastard- I mean, this respectable vigilante, he dared to get in the argument with Bruce. He can't really leave him alone, really! They are so insane about each other... So toxic, but so, uh, captivating... But you know, Bruce! He has such a fragile heart...

Gotham: Aw-w, poor mister Wayne!

Bruce, sighing: Jesus Christ.

Tim, shaking his head to the camera: I hate Red Robin, really. Did you know that his existence is just a direct offence to my father? Yeah, actually, Batman took this kid under his wing with another man - I am not going to tell who - to make dad jealous. This is disgusting!

Jason, who returned from the death by pretending that all this time he was under the child protection system after becoming an accidental witness of the second Robin's death: Oh, yeah, it was tough... Poor kid exploded in front of my eyes! Reporter: But, mister Todd-Wayne, what were you doing in that warehouse?

Jason, wiping fake tears: They were like my divorced parents, you know... Batman and Bruce. Batman really tried to mend things with dad back then, and wanted me to like him... We just wanted to spend some time together with him, and that Robin kid... God, it was terrible... Batman refuses to contact me now. I miss my second dad...

Bruce, back in the Batcave, watching as Batman's reputation goes lower and lower: ........................... Alfred: Well, master Bruce... Bruce: Not a word. Al. Please.

[embraceweird]

constants across all timelines:

Ricky will return home to his wife and child

Fig and Ayda forever

Chungledown Bim will try to shit in Fabian's mouth

[tomi4i]

[undertheredhood]

jason 'perfect poker face' todd: and that is the story of how i got myself permenantly banned from three countries in the span of two months!

tim 'know it all' drake: *immediately picking up his stalking hobby because he doesn't know if jason is telling the truth or not*

[lunewolf13]

Spilling Tea Part 1:

All the Robins are sitting criss-cross applesauce on a plush carpet, summoned by Dick Grayson.

Dick: Alright everyone, today's bonding activity is truth-dumping. Rules are simple: be honest, it has to be about yourself, no blackmail, and no verbal or physical attacks on anyone here. Any questions?

Jason raises a hand.

Jason, imitating the voice of a ten year old: Can I go to the bathroom?

Dick: You already went. And if I let you go, you'll book it.

Jason: So that's a no?

Dick: That's a no. Now, who wants to go first?

Duke: I borrowed Bruce's cologne for a date and haven't given it back.

Jason: I'm pretty sure we've all done that before.

Steph: I mean, it wasn't for a date but yeah I stole a bottle.

Dick gives his Kind Big Brother smile: Try again.

Duke blatantly ignores the smile: Uh Tim, don't be mad, but I may have torn your new cape this morning. I was suiting up and I got curious, and touched it and tripped and I'm so sorry please don't hack all my electronics.

Tim blinks once. Then twice: My cape? My brand new, reinforced cape?? How hard did you trip???

Duke: Ok "trip" might have been an understatement and I may tried it on and jumped off the T-Rex. I was really curious to see if it'd actually glide like you said it does.

Tim: That still doesn't explain how you tore it.

Duke: Let's move on.

[duckprintspress]

Cover Reveal for A Truth Universally Acknowledged: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice”

HAPPY COVER REVEAL DAY! Duck Prints Press’s next anthology, A Truth Universally Acknowledged: Queer Fanworks Inspired by Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, will be crowdfunding starting November 20th, 2024. We’ve been hard at work on this collection for a loooong time and we are thrilled to finally be making it available for y’all. The gorgeous cover art, made by artist Aceriee, was inspired by the classic 1898 “peacock edition of Pride and Prejudice – but of course, we made it queerer. The spectacular full cover is wrap around.

(spoilers: this art will be offered a postcard as one of the Kickstarter campaign backer rewards!)

This awesome book features 21 stories each up to 5,000 words long and 20 full-page color artworks. Our campaign features six merch items, too, with peacocks standing proud on much of the art.

Want to be sure you don’t miss the campaign? Follow our Kickstarter pre-launch page now!

Become a Patreon backer to get behind-the-scenes access to sneak peeks and more!

[macrolit]

[magicpiano]

Another Peter Parker in Gotham AU with Dick as Richard Parker: Peter tells the bats that a magic spell made everyone forget about him. He just says this as an explanation for why he is not trying hard to get back to his dimension, no one remembers him anymore after all! Dick is freaking out fully believing that he forgot his son's existence.

[hinamie]

looks at hair slicked back megu I Could Fix Him

[angelbitezzz]

[It was becoming increasingly clear that he wasn't her Sans. He sure looked like him but-this was different. HE was different. Sure, maybe affection hadn't been his forté, maybe his sense of humor was darker than what was generally acceptable, maybe he'd always been cagey and distant but...not something like this, never this. Nobody ever wanted to find out they had been dating a murderer.

"aaaaangel."

The soft sing-song of her name usually made her perk up. All it did now was send a bucket of ice water down her spine. There was something so utterly terrifying about knowing that you're a hairsbreadth away from death. She presses her hands harder over her mouth, squeezing further back against the counter, silently willing him to keep walking...

"tell you what, kid," Sans starts, too close. She suppresses a flinch as she hears him lean against the counter. "you're being pretty damn stubborn about this. but i do like you...so tell ya what! you make it to dawn without getting caught, i'll take the hint and leave you be. how's that sound?"

She doesn't reply, but he takes it as a yes anyways. He always liked doing that.]

Reposting this as a GIF!! It really ups the intensity, doesn't it?

[prlssprfctn]

Continuing my agenda about Bruce and Jason becoming the most annoying and dramatic people after fixing their relationship, and making others roll their eyes, because, come on, we all need that. And because Bruce is as dramatic as others; he kinda technically was inspired by Zorro when becoming Batman, alright? That tells a lot.

Anyway, no thoughts, just Bruce and Jason annoying everyone with being the most melodramatic duo ever.

Jason, appearing in the Batcave out of the sudden, swaying a little: Hey Dick, worried: Hey. Are you okay? You rarely drop by like this... Jason, stopping by Bruce's armchair, dramatically slumping over: I... I came here today, because I lost my last battle... Bruce, who senses his bullshit, but plays along: Oh no, champ, what's wrong? Dick, activating mother-hen: SHOULD WE CALL ALFRED? ARE YOU- Jason, sniffling: Battle... Battle with... Loneliness. Bruce, with a short smile on his face: (theatrically puts Britney's Baby One More Time exactly on "My loneliness is killing me" line) Dick, groaning: YOU BOTH-

Jason, spawning in the middle of the day in WE, behind Bruce's back: Old man, protocol 222. Asap. You have five minutes. Bruce, standing up abruptly: Oh, okay. Bruce, with his stern father voice on: Jason, you are disowned. Jason: Fuck you!!! Tim, who was sitting in the same cabinet, watching as Jason storms off: Excuse me? Bruce: He is either watching some movie or reads a book about daddy issues, so he needs to get into a mood. Please, continue your analysis. Tim: ...What the fuck.

Duke: I was always a little curious... What was your father like? No pressure, you don't need to answer if you don't want to. Jason: Well- Bruce, popping out of nowhere: How come you don't know what kind of father I am? Duke: Oh, no, I meant Jason's biological fa- Bruce, frowning: I am his biological father. Jason, because he is no less shit: Yeah, damn, didn't want to tell others, especially to Damian, since he will freak out... But apparently Bruce had a one-night stand thing with my bio mama. It is kinda a secret. Bruce, very pleased: Yeah. It is a secret... but you can probably say that, considering how alike we look. Jason: (nods) Duke, absolutely believing this shit, because had you seen this fucking family: Oh. Ok. Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. Jason, beaming: Thanks, dude. That's why you are my favourite.

[relaxedstyles]

[juan-francisco-palencia]

𝙌𝙪𝙤𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙌𝙪𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙨.

❝seem at times, we have to accept that some people can only be in our hearts, not in our lives.❞

—  Juan Francisco Palencia.