#am beyond heartbroken at this point

[autistichalsin]

Analysis of each character's final words in the new Dark Urge evil ending

If you are romanced to a character, you have the option, when taking the new version of the Sins of the Father ending, to kill your partner in front of the others in your party, killing them with one last kiss. They then give their last words and pass away. I love each and every one and feel they are incredible characterization moments.

So let's break these down!

Lae'zel:

I... I am glad it was you. No other blade would have sufficed.

This is something that hammers home that, Vlaakith or no, Lae'zel deeply believes in all the ideals of a Githyanki. Life is a privilege for the strong, and death is the price of weakness. Further, if romanced, Lae'zel will affectionately call you "the source of my bruises" many times. If she has to die, if she has finally found the one person stronger than herself, then she is "satisfied" that it is you- who she both loved and admired. The only one she would ever consider worthy of besting her.

Karlach:

Fuck you.

Short, simple, and to the point, just the way Karlach does everything else. She's already gone through all her stages of grief with her engine- well, almost all of them. Anger still remains. She burns hot until the end.

Wyll:

I... I forgive you.

This isn't just Wyll being a good guy. This is heartbreak, and guilt. Guilt for not saving you from Bhaal's influence when he was so sure he had. Heartbreak that after he gave his literal soul to save as many people as he could, he couldn't save you- and couldn't save others from you, either. All he sacrificed, negated in an instant by the person he loved and trusted most. Of all the characters here, Wyll (tied with Halsin) sounds the most obviously broken, and it's easy to see why, given that he is self-sacrificing to a fault.

There was a set of scenes datamined from the game, where at the Morphic Pool, the Netherbrain would have taunted the players, causing them to hallucinate things related to their fears and insecurities. Wyll's would have been a vision of himself talking about how he was never a hero, how the Blade of Frontiers was a farce all along. One can't help but think about that scene here, wondering just how much blame, bordering on self-loathing, he might feel here.

Dark Justiciar Shadowheart:

I... I'm coming to you, Lady Shar.

Another short and simple one. By becoming a Dark Justiciar, Shadowheart has fully embraced the nihilism of Shar's teachings. Why be saddened or angry at her own death when this is just what she's embraced with all her sacrifices?

(Sidenote: this does also answer a question I had, namely, what was going to happen to everyone Durge kills. Thankfully it seems they aren't actually going to be sacrificed to him as such, and will indeed end up in the realm of their deities. This makes Bhaal's plan even DUMBER, because deities in DND lore need worshippers to have enough power to exist. Killing everyone at once just guarantees that soon after Durge dies as the last person alive, so too will Bhaal fade from existence.)

Selunite Shadowheart:

I... I thought we were going to save each other...

This Shadowheart rejected everything she knew. She was scared to defy her goddess, but worked up the courage- thanks to you. She thought you would have a new life together. She believed in you. She thought she would get to return the favor, and help you turn the page on Bhaal, too.

She's not just heartbroken for herself; she's heartbroken for you, too. Heartbroken at the life you denied both her and yourself.

Gale:

You made me want to live...

From the moment the orb entered Gale's chest, he knew he was at risk of dying. Then Mystra all but marked him as a dead man walking. But despite that, he finds love with you- and for the first time thinks maybe there is a purpose for him beyond Mystra. That he isn't more useful to the world dead. More than that, he wants to live to be with you, to enjoy your company and companionship. And then you kill him, and do the one thing WORSE than what would have happened if he'd never been pulled from that rock.

It almost would have been kinder to just hack his hand off the first time you met him, though Gale may or may not agree.

Spawn Astarion:

I should have killed you when I had the chance...

The angriest, most bitter response out of all the romanced companions, a step beyond Karlach's "fuck you." This is beyond "fuck you" and even beyond "I hate you." It's "I regret every moment I spent with you." You made him believe he could have better. That he could recover from what Cazador did. You even convinced him to spare the 7,000 spawn and that he could be something better than Cazador.

And now you reveal it was all a lie. Astarion is probably thinking that you talked him out of completing the ritual solely so he'd be easier to kill right here and now. How many regrets are flashing through his mind, how many moments where he wonders if things could have been different if only he'd done this or that, even aside from killing you?

All he wanted was to live as a free person. And then the first time he thinks he has that at last, he loses it as the world ends.

Ascended Astarion:

No... no, this can't be... I can't- you can't- no...

In contrast to spawn Astarion, ascended isn't angry, because he doesn't have the clarity, the ability to process what's happening. Spawn Astarion could tell he'd been betrayed.

But Ascended? Ascended, who went through so much to become one of the most powerful beings in the world, only to STILL lose without fanfare? And by you, his own spawn who he thought he had under his control? It isn't betrayal, because he is bluescreening; he can't comprehend what happened or how or why. How could he have been killed, and by you of all people? Was all he went through killing Cazador really for nothing? How could it be when he was supposed to be the most powerful? Was power actually meaningless all along?

He doesn't say anything of substance because he can't understand what's happening here.

Halsin:

Thaniel... goodbye...

Halsin is the oldest of all the companions. He's experienced the most loss of anyone; his birth family, his fellow Druids, and, for a time, Thaniel. He has had more than enough time to contemplate his own mortality, because he's already lived multiple lifetimes.

So here, two things are happening. One, he isn't expressing anger or betrayal at his murder- because he is more than wise enough, and humble enough, to understand that there are worse things than what has been done to himself. Instead of himself, he is thinking of the world he's leaving behind that is about to fall- and most of all, of his most important person, the one who gave him a purpose, who was there when no one else was, who he failed once and only just got back. The closest thing to a child he'll ever have. In his last moments, instead of himself, Halsin is thinking of those he loves.

And second, it's an almost deliberate snubbing of Durge. He willingly walked into that kiss, knowing full well it would be the last thing he ever did. He gave you his death, he pleaded with his own god to forgive you and him both. He gave you everything he felt he owed you, and no more- no begging or sobbing. Instead, he comes as close as he ever gets to selfishness, and spends his last moments thinking about the thing that makes him the happiest- which could have been you, in another life, if you hadn't done this.

Minthara:

No... we were meant to do this together...

Heartbreak, disbelief, and betrayal. You spent so many nights planning this out. She had been cast aside by her people, her goddess, and she was going to get the last laugh. She was going to crush them personally under her heel and prove she was the best (or second best, behind you) of all of them. She's devastated she won't get to help you torture all those souls and take what she feels was owed to her. But interestingly enough... no anger. Probably because it was overshadowed by the sheer heartbreak, but also a sign that even in those moments, she still admires you for your ruthlessness.

[buckyalpine]

hey shay! what do you think about steve and sam betting that bucky cannot date the newest avenger for like two months without falling in love with her. and, of course, he accepts, and asks her out, all in the hopes of winning.

(plot twist: he is a dumbass and a fucking simp because he falls hella hard in like the first month. she’s basically his soulmate and his dream girl. absolutely perfect. he dreams of their marriage and children and cannot wait to make it a reality. and steve and sam are beyond happy for him, and the three decide never to speak of the bet ever again.)

but fast forward to their first anniversary together, and she finds out that the only reason why bucky ever paid any attention to her, and asked her out, was because of the bet. and it leaves her absolutely heartbroken and destroyed, to the point that she debates asking for a transfer. because of course the only way the legendary sergeant james buchanan barnes would ever notice her is because of a bet. pfft! how big of an idiot she is!

(and we see bucky do some seriously grovel. because he cannot lose the love of his life. his baby. his everything. his sunshine in the dark. the reason for his existence.)

maybe steve and sam join in to help him? because they adore her as well, and they know how much bucky needs her.

YESSSS YES YESSSSS. I am here for the angst and the fluff, I love this because we all love a break up make up situation.

"100 bucks"

"No"

"Okay, 150"

"Why are we doing this"

"200"

"...why"

"Because we know for a fact, there's no way you'd be able to date the new recruit for two full months-

"-without falling in love, you can't actually fall for her"

Sam and Steve looked at Bucky intently while the soldier cocked an eyebrow, the three of them lounging in the common room after a morning briefing to meet their newest team mate.

"You're both willing to pay me $200 just to date y/n without falling in love?" Bucky deadpanned staring at his two best friends, both with matching shit eating grins.

"What's wrong Barnes, scared you'll get your wittle heart broken?" Sam egged him on only to be met with a cocky smirk from the brunette.

"That's not a problem because I don't date" Bucky shrugged, happy to win easy money if all he had to do was ask the new girl out and date her for a bit without actually catching feelings.

He was never really the relationship type; the charm he used to have in the 40's was slowly making its way back and it was perfect for when he needed a quick fix. Long term was never his thing and he wasn't about to start now but he also wasn't going to turn down a bet when his friends seemed so keen.

Besides, his pride was on the line and it was only two months.

"So let me get this straight. I date her for 2 months-"

"No falling in love with y/n"

"-no falling in love and you pay me?"

Sam and Steve nodded while Bucky got up, shaking their hands to seal the deal. He already mapped out a plan to ask the new girl out, mentally deciding on an easy break up speech for when the inventible comes.

"Two months white panther"

"Wolf"

"Two months"

"Easy"

****

Bucky knew he was screwed after the first date. Just the first date. When he first asked her out, she gave him a shy giggle and he knew he wanted to hear that sound again. And again. And again. She gave him a little nod, shuffling on her feet and for a moment, Bucky regained his confidence. There was no way he'd have anything in common with someone so shy and quiet, winning the best was going to be a breeze.

Until she came down in a sun dress, ready to go out for for their date and she smelled like peaches and cream and there was that fucking giggle again when he got ice cream on his nose when they shared a sundae. Her hands were so soft when she swiped her thumb over his little mess, cleaning him off with a tissue while he blinked.

"You're so adorable, sarge" She gave him a bashful smile and his cheeks couldn't have possibly blushed more, his heart beating strangely fast. He wasn't really too sure what to do, usually it was him making girls turn into puddles of shy messes but her he was, more tongue tied that ever.

He wasn't sure what it was.

Maybe it was the fact that she asked him about the 40's, something he rarely got to talk about. Maybe it was the way she listened to him intently while he got lost in his memories, recalling happier times, the both of them laughing over stories about scrawny Steve before the serum. He'd been on plenty of dates before but none of them were like this.

(It didn't matter though, his main goal never left his sight...not really)

He asked her out again and he immediately put his hand to his stomach when she showed up in her workout clothes since he'd offered to train with her before their scheduled date. He'd fully intended to take control over the situation, gain the upper hand again by making her all sweet and shy with his subtle touches but nope.

Here he was with butterflies dancing madly around his tummy when she smiled brightly as soon as she walked through the gym doors; his train of thought long gone when as she dropped her towel beside his. He flipped her with ease, her much smaller form blinking up at him as he caged her under him. He didn't even have it in him to throw her a wink or a flirty smirk, giving her soft puppy eyes instead and helping her to her feet.

To his own surprise, he didn't even try to make a move to get her in bed.

He couldn't.

Not when he was genuinely enjoying conversation with her. Not when she looked at him with such trust and care not to break her heart. Not after she'd confided in him that she felt safe with him after about a month of dating. Bucky's mind, which was usually filled with filth and fucking was now filled with thoughts of her in a pretty white dress, walking down the aisle, ready to say I do. He thought about how adorable their babies would look, how beautiful she'd look pregnant, she was his dream girl, how he couldn't wait for the day it'd all really happen, he was falling in love for the first time in his life-

He. Was. Screwed.

****

"M'gonna marry her"

"What"

"What?" Bucky blinked back at his friends with wide eyes, not realizing he'd said that out loud; the three of them sitting around the living room again since you had gone out for a girls night with Nat and Wanda.

"Come again, what was that?" Sam grinned, sitting up straighter from where he'd been sprawled out on the floor while Steve nudged Bucky with his shoulder.

"Nothing" Bucky mumbled but the blush on his cheeks spread up to his ears.

"AWWWW" Sam howled while Bucky buried his face in his hands, "BUCKY HAS A CRUSH"

"You like her, huh punk" Steve grinned, not needing verbal confirmation from his best friend; both him and Sam saw the way Bucky started falling for you from day 1, not standing a chance of winning their bet.

"I do" Bucky smiled shyly, not bothering with a snarky retort, not when he'd fallen so hard for you the second he heard your laugh. No one bothered to bring up the bet again, the entire thing long forgotten. Sam and Steve couldn't have been happier when they saw Bucky's eyes light up every time he looked at you. You'd tumbled into the living room along with Nat and Wanda behind you, giggling and falling into the soldiers lap, nuzzling into him like a kitten between tipsy kisses.

Sam could've sworn he saw Steve flick away a tear, the both of them watching Bucky grin like a little kid with the biggest crush, melting into a puddle instantly with you in his arms.

"Hey Sarge" You gave him a hazy smile, sighing contently when he kissed your forehead and scooped you right up, holding you to his chest. "Missed you"

"Let's get you to bed babygirl" Bucky whispered, carefully taking care of you, changing you into one of his Henley's and completing your skin care routine since you couldn't in your drunken state. He kissed you good night, pulling the covers up and holding you close to him the entire night.

Nothing compared to the soft puppy he became whenever you were near him and it wasn't exactly a well kept secret. No one failed to notice the way he was head over heels in love with you. With each passing day Bucky loved you more, doing everything in his power to keep you happy, to protect you with his entire heart, there's was no way, absolutely no way, he'd every do anything to hurt you or lose you.

Ever.

One Year Later

You stretched, blinking at the sun that peeked through the curtains, feeling extra warm, cuddled up with you boyfriend who was the human form of a furnace. You were in no hurry to get out of bed, burying your face into his bare chest instead, breathing in his scent, humming contently when his thick arms wrapped you impossibly closer.

"Happy anniversary my love" Bucky whispered, his eyes still closed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. He couldn't believe a full year had gone by since you'd stolen his heart. A full year filled with kisses and giggles and softness. There wasn't a day that had gone by where Bucky wasn't a complete simp for you (he'd picked out a wedding ring within month three and had it hidden somewhere in his room by month 6).

"Happy anniversary handsome" You kissed his chest where his heart beat steadily, giggling when he pinned you under him, attacking you with a flurry of feathery light kisses, "Bucky stop!" You squealed with laugher as he wrapped you tightly and let his scruffy cheeks tickle your shoulders, the both of you tangled in his sheets, having a lazy morning.

"I love you" He whispered into your hair, sneakily slipping his hands up your over sized shirt, his cool metal fingers stroking down your spine making you shiver. "So much, bella"

"I love you, Jamie" Your cheeks heated up and the sweet name he had just for you, only reluctantly getting out of bed after Nat had practically dragged you out of bed to go shopping. You didn't want to do anything but cuddle with Bucky all day but the red head didn't care, happily evading your privacy to barge into the room and whisk you away, throwing back a wink when Bucky mouthed a silent thank you.

Bucky had planned out the perfect anniversary, something he'd thought out for weeks. The compound would be empty so it would just be the two of you; he'd cook dinner himself, have some songs playing from the 40's with a juke box he'd managed to get his hands on and spent the entire night letting you know how deeply in love he was with you. He didn't care how cheesy it was, buying out an entire florist shop to cover the room and terrace with your favorite flowers, having some suspended from the high ceilings along with petals strewn on the floor.

He'd pull out all the rom com stops for you, giving everyone a task to keep you busy so he could set up for the night. Nat had been tasked with keeping you away until evening, only bringing you back in time for dinner. Sam and Steve spent the whole day hanging and putting up flowers, lighting candles and listening to Bucky ramble about how much he adored you. Tony worked on lighting and sound, tinkering with the music and setting it up outside.

To say you were surprised was an understatement. Nat had blind folded you as soon as you got back and instructed you to put on the dress that had been laid out in your room. You had no idea what she was talking about until you found a floor length gown along with a note sitting on top of your bed.

See you at 8 tonight my bella

Happy 1 year Anniversary,

Yours forever,

JBB x

You didn't waste a second, hopping into the shower, doing your makeup and spraying on your perfume that you knew he loved so much. You slipped the dress on along with some heels before making your way down to the now dimmed lights, the soft glow of candles warming the room.

You gasped as soon as your eyes landed on Bucky, standing head to toe in all black, a dashing smile on his face. He strode over to you, cupping your cheeks in his hands, pecking your lips sweetly, the scent of his cologne already making you woozy.

"You did all this for me?" You blinked back tears, his thumbs swiping them away .

"Anything for you doll" Bucky whispered, pulling you in for another kiss before leading you to the garden; a trail of rose petals covering the floor to the back terrace. Fairly lights twinkled, mixed in with the tiny stars that dotted the night sky; you didn't bother with sitting in your own seat, sitting in Bucky's lap instead while your both sipped on champagne.

It didn't take long for him to swoop you off your feet so he could sway with you instead, music playing softly in the background while he whispered sweet nothings, only sitting down again so he could feed you the dessert he'd spend the whole afternoon making for you.

"I can't believe you did all this for me Bucky" You said sincerely, holding his face in your hands, gazing into his soft blue eyes, "You're perfect my Jamie"

"You're my perfect gift doll"

"Oh! I have to get you your gift!" You realized you'd left it in your room between a spoon of chocolate cake Bucky was feeding you, hopping up from his lap to get it. You scurried off to your room, giddy over the present you'd put together for Bucky, the whole gift taking months of planning to get everything to come in time. You rummaged through your closet, grabbing the carefully wrapped box and returning to the hall, excited to see his face when he opened his present.

You passed by Steve's room stopping dead in your tracks at the words you heard, your feet suddenly unable to move.

"Can you believe this all started over betting he'd never fall for y/n?" Sam snorted, sitting on the couch in Steve's room, the both of them munching on the scraps of chocolate cake and sipping on beer while watching a movie.

"All over 200 bucks, remember he was so sure of himself"

You felt like you'd swallowed cotton, your mouth dry, finding it difficult to swallow. You wanted to turn back time, wishing you'd never heard that conversation, or maybe it was all a misunderstanding, Bucky would never do that, not your Bucky.

"Didn't you tell him he'd only have to date her for 2 months?"

"2 months and 200 dollars, terminator shook on it"

"He even had a break up speech ready"

You gripped tightly onto the present, dashing away from the room, unable to bear more of the conversation. Your heart was hammering out of your chest as you shakily made your way back to Bucky, it just couldn't be true.

Could it?

Did he really only ask you out because his friends made a bet with him?

Bucky smiled when he saw you return, opening his arms for you to slink onto his lap again. His smile disappeared when you kept your eyes down, fumbling with the gift in your hand, staying rooted in place in front of him instead of cuddling up with him like you always did.

"Baby? Is everything okay?" Bucky got up from his seat, carefully making his way over to you. He tipped your face up, surprised to find your eyes wet with unshed tears, the corners of your lips quivering with how hard you were trying to keep from crying.

"You-you promise you'll be honest with me?" You tried to keep your voice from cracking, afraid everything you'd imagined with Bucky would come crashing down if what you heard was true.

"Of course" Bucky felt his heart race seeing your glassy eyes and broken expression, what could have possibly happened in the few seconds you were gone "Bella, what's wrong"

"Did you only ask me out because of a bet?" You tried to keep from sniffling, your heart breaking at the guilt that immediately spread across Bucky's face.

"Doll, I-

"So it's true?" You whimpered, stepping away from the man you loved so much, feeling a whirlwind of emotions, the gift you clutched onto slipping from your grip and onto the floor, "It was just a bet with Sam and Steve?"

"Baby, please let me explain-" Bucky wanted nothing more than to reach out and wipe away the tears he caused, his own streaming down his cheeks when you moved further away from him.

"Please don't" You shook your head, wrapping your arms around yourself, not wanting to feel his touch you knew you'd instantly melt into. "Just don't James"

Bucky was ready to drop to his knees and beg for forgiveness, beg for you to call him all the sweet names reserved just for him but you dashed back into the compound, slapping your hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs.

"Sweetheart wait, please don't go, just let me explain baby, I love you so much" Bucky trailed after you, quickly swiping his dampened cheeks, catching you in the elevator just before it closed. "Y/n, I love you doll, I'm sorry, it started that way but-

"It's not your fault" You quickly wiped away the new wave of tears that stung your eyes, desperately pushing the button to take you to your room faster, "I-I should've known you wouldn't have been into me in the first place"

"Y/n, that's not true sweetheart, don't say that baby, please"

"I thought you really liked me, I-I didn't know someone had to pay you to date me"

You felt stupid, ridiculous, ashamed, how did you ever think someone like Bucky, the handsome ladies man from day one, would suddenly be into you, some random new trainee turned avenger. You weren't special, nothing about you stood out from others, there was no reason for him to give you attention.

It all made sense now, your heart splitting into two, biting hard on your lip to keep your cries down, you couldn't believe how stupid you'd been to think he actually liked you from the start.

"No baby, you had me from day one-"

"P-please don't l-lie to m-me" You hiccupped, making a bee line straight to you room as soon as the elevator doors opened, not looking back once. You locked your door before Bucky could catch up, ignoring his persistent soft knocks, begging for you to give him a chance to explain.

"Y/n, bella, please, open the door sweetheart, I love you, I promise truly love you so much, I'm so sorry baby, I need to talk to you, please" Bucky sniffled, his forehead pressed to your door in defeat, now letting the tears fall freely. He stayed rooted in place, slumping down with his head between his knees, running his hands through his short locks in frustration. The only thing he cared about was making you happy and he was the one who screwed it up.

You clutched onto your sheets, trembling as sobs wracked your body, thinking back to all the moments you thought were so sweet, moments where you thought you were both falling in love, now realizing they were nothing more than a ploy to get $200.

You remembered your first date, thinking about how cute Bucky looked with a tiny dollop of ice cream on his perfect nose, how nervous you were to swipe it off, your heart racing when you told him he looked adorable. It took every fiber of your very being to muster the courage to do that but it had meant nothing to him.

You had been stupid to think he liked you too when he asked you out again; you remembered the way your entire body felt like it had been lit on fire when he had you pinned you under him, growing bashfully shy when he helped you up onto your feet, everything a part of his plan to eventually dump you.

You felt ridiculous. You were not gorgeous like Natasha or enhanced like Wanda. What made you think the very Sergeant James Barnes would have his eye on you of all people.

You should have known.

-

"Do you hear that?" Steve paused the movie, hearing a muffled cry from the corridor, his brows furrowing at the sniffles that followed. Sam nodded with a frown, both men getting up and peering into the hallway, surprised to find the super soldier sitting against your door, eyes and nose red from crying.

"Bucky?" Steve was by his best friends side in an instant, kneeling before him, helping him up to onto his feet.

"What happened, where's y/n" Sam blinking hearing crying from inside your room, his stomach churning when Bucky shrugged, chewing on his trembling lip to keep from breaking down again. Bucky let Steve lead him into his room, sitting on the edge of the bed, gripping onto the sheets till they nearly tore.

"What the hell happened Buck"

"She found out bout the bet" Bucky whispered, fresh tears streaming down his face when he remembered how defeated you looked with betrayal. "She knows I asked her out because of it"

"Fuck" Sam hissed while Steve ran a hand over his face. They felt equally responsible for hurting you for having suggested the bet in the first place, also piecing together you must have over heard them when they were talking earlier. Steve was sick with guilt while Sam also slumped onto the couch, all three men feeling awful for hurting you.

"Did you talk to her?"

"She doesn't want to even look at me" Bucky shook his head before burying his face in his hands again, unable to stop from crying; there was a good chance he lost you forever and it was his fault.

"Just-just give her some time" Steve threw an arm over Bucky, while mentally hitting himself for being part of the mess, hoping you'd forgive his best friend who was deeply and utterly in love with you.

-

You woke up with a throbbing headache, staying in bed for longer than usual. You felt more embarrassed than the night before realizing others must have known the true nature of your relationship with Bucky. Not only did Bucky not really like you in the first place but he'd only even looked your way because he was sure he wouldn't fall for you.

You kept to yourself for the first few days. You'd managed to wake up earlier than everyone else so you could eat breakfast and train alone, only to eat dinner extra late after everyone had gone to sleep. It wasn't difficult given your skill set; you slinked about undetected, evading the other avengers every time they knocked on your door to check on you.

Bucky tried to find you every single day, spending each night falling asleep by your door, ignoring the worsening kink in his neck, hoping he'd get get to see you just once, one time so he could at least apologize to you properly.

Two full weeks had gone by and you some how only felt worse. You hated hearing Bucky cry when you walked by his room but then you'd remember what he did and you couldn't bring yourself to trust him again.

Bucky was a mess. He missed you more than anything; you were his baby, his soul mate, his beautiful sweet bella. He would've given anything just to see you walk down the hall way, anything to hear your voice even if it was you telling him off like he deserved. He wanted you to yell and scream at him, tell him what at ass hole he was, that he was the biggest jerk on the planet, that you hated him, he'd listen to it like it was music if he just got to see you again.

He got his hopes up when a new mission came up requiring all hands on deck; Tony called for a sudden meeting with the full team which meant everyone had to be there. Bucky ran off to the showers within seconds, scrubbing himself with body wash he knew you loved so much before throwing on a tight black t-shirt and jeans that made you all shy and giggly. He knew he was playing dirty, leaving the scuff on his face before spraying on a dash of cologne.

He had to look his best, even if it meant you'd throw your cute little kitten mug at his head. He nervously ran to the conference room, eyes flicking to each individual, his heart dropping when he didn't see you there.

"Damn Barnes" Tony whistled while Steve smiled sadly knowing his bestfriend was hoping to see you. "Who'd you clean up for"

"Where's y/n" Bucky's eyes were pleading with everyone, hoping someone would say you were just running late or that you weren't taking part in the mission.

"She's....she's at the head office" Tony sighed, "She wants a transfer"

"Damn it" Sam had now sat up while Bucky left the room with Steve following behind him. "He needs her, he really loves her"

"I-I can't lose her" Bucky sobbed, shaking his head, clutching onto the card you had given him on your anniversary. He'd read every word 100 times over, memorizing it to heart, careful not to crush the paper as he pressed it to his chest. "She's everything to me"

"Look, it's out fault too. We're the ones who suggested the stupid thing, we'll get her back" Steve gave him a reassuring squeeze and Sam nodded.

"I feel like shit man, the whole thing was meant to be a dumb joke, we love her too, we're not just gonna let her leave like this, not our y/n, okay? That's our girl"

"C'mon, lets go get your girl back, punk"

-

You frowned as you entered through the main doors of the compound, finding it unusually quiet when everyone should have been at home since they'd just gotten back from their mission. You felt conflicted after your meeting with Fury and Agent Hill, both of them asking you to reconsider your request to transfer. You told them you'd think about it but you were certain over your decision.

You couldn't face the team any more and your were too embarrassed to look at Bucky again. You didn't mind working in the office and starting over, figuring that would be the best way to mend your heart.

You made your way up to your room, a little red envelope sitting on your pillow catching your attention. You were wary as you opened it, your breath catching in your throat as you recognized the handwriting.

To my first and only love,

I don't deserve someone as sweet as you, but I can't bear the thought of you thinking I don't love you with my entire being. I know I don't deserve a second chance, but I need you to know it was always real.

Always.

I've kept it will hidden but it's time for you to see. It's in my favorite hiding spot for your eyes only.

With all the hugs and kisses in the worlds,

JBB

You knew exactly what spot Bucky was referring to, thinking back to the early days of when you were dating. On more than one occasion, Bucky had grabbed you into his closet, shutting the door when he wanted a few extra moments of privacy before a mission, showering you with 100's of kisses before eventually getting caught and dragged down to the hangar with a bashful grin on his face.

You reluctantly made your way to his room, letting out the breath you were holding when he wasn't inside. The scent of him alone already caused you to feel butterflies but you ignored them as you looked in the closet, finding a shoe box with another red envelope sitting on top for you to read.

To my sweet bella,

You had my heart from day one. You were never supposed to see any of this but you have to know. It's always been you.

Forever and only yours,

JBB

You sat on the floor of the closet as you carefully opened the box, inspecting its contents. Inside was an old, weathering diary with a receipt stuffed in the middle as a bookmark. You opened the page that was marked, surprised to find the receipt from the ice cream place you where you had your first date, the date of the entry a few days before he asked you out.

A new team mate has joined the group. Her name is y/n, y/l/n. She specializes in hand to hand combat and is a trained spy. Tony introduced us to everyone today. I wouldn't mind being her friend but I hope she isn't afraid of me, maybe she's just shy.

The next entry was from the day Sam and Steve made the bet

I doubt I'll forget this but I'm writing it down anyway. 2 months for 200 dollars. Seems stupid but what's the worst that could happen, it's not like she'd actually fall for me anyway.

Then there was the entry after your first date.

She's probably one of the sweetest people I've ever met; I don't want to forget this day, bet or not. She wore a sun dress and she laughed at all my jokes. She called me adorable. Her hands felt so soft. I'm sure its in her nature to be so kind but I wish it was just for me. Maybe I'll ask her out again.

A few days later.

I swear I'm falling in love with her more and more each day and she doesn't even have a clue. I don't know how to show her she's special to me, you'd think I'd be better at this. I hope one day she feels the same way.

And then

I love her. So much. Ma would have loved her. I hope one day she says yes.

You let out a wet laugh at the entries became sappier, each one detailing how hard he was falling for you, all the little details of your dates filling the pages, your heart breaking when you realized he wrote as much as he could remember so he'd never forget. He didn't mention the bet in any of the pages because he'd forgotten about it completely, fully focused on making you officially his.

The diary was sacred to him, a private place where he recounted his most precious memories, the one thing he'd never share with anyone but he decided to share it with you because you had to know. It was one of the few places he poured his heart and soul into with no filter, some of his darkest memories scrawled onto the pages but after he'd met you, it changed. Page after page filled with nothing but sweetness, pure and untainted love. You wiped the tears away, carefully placing the diary back in its proper hiding spot before making your way downstairs hoping to find him.

You found a trail of petals that hadn't been there earlier leading to the living room, walking to a very remorseful looking Sam, Steve and of course Bucky, all three men clutching onto teddy bears along with a blanket fort hoisted up in front of the large TV screen.

"What-what is all this?" You whispered, hesitantly walking towards them with Sam stepping forward first, wrapping you up in a bone crushing hug.

"We're really sorry sweetheart" Sam murmured into your hair, hugging you tightly against him, "we never wanted to hurt you, we love you baby, truly"

"You're special to us darling" Steve came over next, pressing a firm kiss to your head, his large arms holding you in a comforting embrace, "We're idiots, you didn't deserve that, don't leave because of us sweetheart, it's not the same without you"

"It's-its okay"

"It's not, we know it isn't but just know we really do love you, okay? Especially him" Steve whispered the last part with a small smile, looking over to his best friend who was anxiously shuffling on his feet, clutching the largest bear in his hands.

You hugged onto the two little teddies from Sam and Steve, kissing their cheeks before they quietly left you and Bucky alone for some privacy. You set them down on the sofa, suddenly feeling nervous when it was just you and Bucky, anxiety and embarrassment attempting to claw its way back up again.

"I'm so sorry bella" Bucky hesitantly reached out for you, scared you'd pull away, relief flooding his body when you allowed him to pull you in for a hug. "My pretty girl, m'so sorry, I didn't mean for it to happen baby"

"You-you really liked me after?" you felt silly for asking such a thing but you couldn't help it, you had to know, your soft doe eyes pleading with him to be honest with you, "You don't have to lie Bucky, it's okay if you didn't-

"You're breakin' my heart babygirl, of course I did. Of course I liked you sweets, I fell hard and fast for you, it would've happened with or without that stupid bed. I wouldn't have been able to resist that smile or that laugh, nothing would've kept me away from you"

Bucky scooped you into his arms and sat you down on his lap and he settled under the blanket fort, keeping you straddled on him while his hands wrapped around your waist.

"Believe me when I say you're the only girl I've ever fallen for, the only one I've ever wanted. I never ever wanted to hurt you baby and I'll spend the rest of my life making sure you never cry again, if you'd have me. I hate seeing you cry sweets, especially because of me. I just want to love you baby, please?"

His voice cracked at the end, bottom lip quivering as he nervously traced his thumbs along your hips. What if he lost you forever, he wouldn't know what to do with himself, not when he adored you so much.

"I love you y/n, you're my dream girl, my everything, no one else comes even close-"

You cut off his rambling, smashing your lips against his, a soft sob slipping past his lips between kisses as he desperately clung onto you.

"Do-do you forgive me?" Bucky sniffled, breathing out a sigh of relief when you pressed your forehead against his, nodding and slinging your arms around his shoulders. "Please say it angel, I-fuck-I'm so sorry, I missed you so much"

"I forgive you" you whispered, squeaking when Bucky pulled you to cuddle into the pile of pillows and blankets he'd laid out, wanting nothing more than to kiss and cuddle you between cute cheesy rom coms you loved so much. He smiled at the giggles you let out as he attacked you with unrelenting kisses again, breathing in your scent and feeling your body finally wrapped up with his again.

"I missed you so much angel"

"Missed you to Jamie" You kissed his nose, caressing his face as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck, knowing Sam and Steve were probably creeping from some corner. "I love you"

"Love you more bella" Bucky smiled, letting you pick a movie, pulling a fluffy blanket up to cover you both. "Loved you from day one"

[bwabys-scenarios]

Tethered(NSFW)

Yandere!Kurapika x Fem!Reader

!!REBLOGS APPRECIATED!!

warnings: dubcon, Kurapika is delusional and obsessive, oral(f!receiving), breeding kink

A/N: My Yandere!Kurapika is super soft… sorry he’s not mean or crazy, he’s only a bit paranoid and obsessive

Yandere NSFW: @lightshowerrr @jungtoast @nenggie @aliceattheart @pannacottababy

‼️If you want to be added to the taglist, please check out the taglist information then comment what you want to be added to! Make sure you have your age in your bio and that your blog can be tagged/mentioned!‼️

Kurapika never enjoys chaining you up. Not only is it humiliating for you, but he hates seeing the fear and panic on your face when you can’t move.

But it was necessary today, unfortunately.

The day had started out normally. He held you in his lap, giving the top of your head soft kisses as he enjoyed his tea and a good book. You were very compliant, even leaning against his chest, into his touch.

He should have known something was up with you then. You were buttering him up, leading him into a false sense of security. Kurapika truly believed that things were getting better, that you had finally accepted your place by his side, and that maybe… you had even started to love him too.

But he had been wrong, and the truth was enough to break his heart.

Because of your good behavior as of late, he had decided to take you out on a date. You had been laying down hints that you were interested in the aquarium that had opened up in town, and it had been months since you’d last been outside of his property.

The small cabin and garden were nice, but you were getting beyond bored of it. Kurapika believed some time outside may lift your spirits, and even help the two of you bond.

He should have known better.

You were acting like the perfect little girlfriend, holding his hand, letting him explain to you the biology of some of the undersea creatures you passed by in the aquarium, and even sweetly sharing an ice cream cone with him.

It was near the end of the tour when you started looking around, squeezing your legs together.

“Are you alright?” Kurapika asked, his brows knit together in concern.

“A-ah, I’m okay… I just need to use the bathroom…”

Usually, that would have made him suspicious, but you had drank two bottles of water during the walk. He could understand that your bladder just be full, and he was calmed when he noticed you seemed embarrassed to ask him for help. You really did need to use the bathroom.

“Alright, I think I saw one near the exit.”

Kurapika guided you to the bathroom, squeezing your hand and leaning into whisper into your ear. “My angel, you have 5 minutes to get your business done with. Am I clear?”

You nodded quickly, shifting your weight. “Y-yes! Can I go now?”

He sighed, letting your hand go. Even when he was sure there was no way for you to escape, letting you go in public made him irritable. “Hurry.”

He watched you go, smiling slightly when you squeaked and avoided eye contact with any male that came within 5 feet of you. Kurapika wasn’t the type to kill anyone that came near you, but someone touching or talking to you was a different story. You were keeping others from getting hurt, something he found sweet.

If only you knew the amount of people he had killed on your behalf. Maybe you would be so complacent when he curled up with you at night.

Kurapika leaned against the wall, glancing down at the time on his phone. It had been 5 minutes already, and you had yet to walk out. Since it wasn’t busy and people often mistook him for a woman, Kurapika decided to walk in and get you himself, or at least check on you. He didn’t want to embarrass you if you had a stomach ache, so he used In to cloak his presence.

He just didn’t expect to see your plump ass wiggling and squirming as you tried to escape out of a small window.

Kurapika was less angry, more heartbroken and disappointed. He had assumed the two of you were finally getting to the point where he could trust you a little… just for you to try and escape.

“Seems you can’t be trusted, (Name).”

He watched as you flinched from the sound of his voice. It didn’t feel good to know you were afraid of him. “I hope you know this means you won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. You’ll be staying home until further notice.”

Kurapika was well aware that you knew running from him when you were in his line of sight would result in him swiftly catching you, so he waited for a moment for you to pull yourself out of the window and walk back. If you were good and stayed quiet while he drove you home, he might even forget this silly little attempt. It was unsuccessful after all… no harm, right?

But you stayed there, and he could see your thighs starting to tremble slightly from having you stand on your tippy toes to reach the window. Your entire upper half was outside…

“I’m… stuck…”

Kurapika blinked, glancing from you to the bathroom door. “You’re… stuck? Really? You didn’t think this through at all.”

“J-just help me!” you yelped, though you immediately backtracked when you felt his aura frow cold. “P-please, Pika.”

The use of the nickname you had given him before he had kidnapped you, when the two of you had been dating and in love made him calm down immediately. You didn’t use it often now, only when you really needed something or when you were in trouble. Even though he knew it was just to soften him up, he gave in every time.

He just wanted you to call him that again, for you to love him again.

“Alright…”

Kurapika walked forward, eyeing your wiggling hips with his scarlet orbs. He may not be furious, but he still felt anger and betrayal at your attempts to get away from him.

Did he not give you a carefree life, where you wanted for nothing and was pampered like a princess? Hell, the blonde had recreated your room from home to make sure you were as comfortable as possible when he kidnapped took you away.

His hand grabbed hold of your hips, squeezing the fatty flesh. It reminded him of the times before he took you, when he would hold onto you right as he fucked into your soaking cunt, whispering words of love and worship. You were his everything, and he did all of these things to keep you safe…

Couldn’t you see that? Couldn’t you understand that behind all of his actions that may seem cruel and unfair, that he did it all for you? Kurapika had thrown away his moral code, sacrificed sleep and time all for you.

Maybe he just had to remind you how good it felt to be with him.

He started off with a soft caress to the small of your back, slowly moving his hand to cup your ass. You let out a yelp, your wiggling increasing. “K-Kurapika, what are you-“

He squeezed harder, his thumb rubbing against your clothes cunt. “Quiet. You just need a little reminder, my angel. You won’t want to leave again after this…”

Kurapika bent down, lifting your skirt to get to your panties. He couldn’t help the pride that swelled up in his chest when he saw the wet spot already forming. Just his touch could get you like this…

“Oh, my little angel… is this why you’ve been so restless? Been missing me?” he muttered to himself, giving a soft kiss to your clothed pussy. “I’m sorry… I wanted to give you space to get used to your new home, I should have been taking care of you better.”

You could only whine, feeling his hands easily pry open your thighs. Your panties were ripped off, tossed to the side so he could get to your pretty, dripping cunt.

“How I’ve missed you…” he said softly, giving your pussy a soft kiss. “I love you so much… let me take care of you, like I used to…”

You were barely able to hold back your moans as his tongue lapped at your folds softly, finding your clit within seconds. He couldn’t help smirking when you pressed your pussy against tongue. You wanted more, you were just too shy to say it… right?

He sucked softly on your clit, his fingers teasing your hole as you panted. “P-please…” you whispered, your legs shaking. Your face was hot and you were starting to sweat, the outside air muggy from the small rainstorm earlier that day. “Need it…”

And he complied, fucking you on his fingers. His other hand kept a hold of your hip as his tongue lapped softly at your clit. “Whatever you want, my angel. Anything you ask for is yours…”

Kurapika kept at it until you cried out his name, moving your hips to meet his fingers. “G-gonna-!”

You came, making a mess on his hand. He didn’t mind at all though, feeling a sense of satisfaction as he licked away the mess. “There we go… you must feel better now, right?”

You nodded, but he couldn’t see that so you answered softly, still recovering. “Y-yeah…”

It did feel good… but you still didn’t want to be trapped with him. You had loved Kurapika once, and maybe you still cared for him to some extent, but being kidnapped and forced into isolation where he was your only company would drive anyone insane…

“I wanna… go home…” you murmured, feeling him pull your panties back over your ass. He seemed to enjoy taking care of you like this. Dressing you, brushing your teeth, doing your hair… even though you could do it all yourself, he insisted on helping you.

Maybe he wanted to feel useful so you would willing stay with him. A willing lover was much better than a captive one.

As he tugged your skirt into place, he grabbed your hips and easily pulled you out of the window. You sighed in relief, though that didn’t last long.

You felt the familiar cold sensations of chains wrapping around you, keeping your arms pressed against your side and unusable. You had been hoping he wouldn’t punish you since he had been so sweet.. but it seemed your actions were still enough to at least slightly anger him.

“Since you can’t be trusted, you’re going to stay like this the whole way home. And when we’re back…”

He formed a chain on her wrist that linked to his. “You’ll be tethered to me at all times, until you can learn to behave.”

He seemed weirdly excited about this, his face nuzzling softly against your neck as he walked you to his car.

You were starting to realize this was less of a punishment for you, and more of a treat for him.

Well… at least he seemed happy and wasn’t staring at you coldly before leaving you alone for months. That was the usual punishment. Isolation from even him. When Kurapika was the only human you received human contact and interaction from, it was torture being ignored.

So you counted yourself lucky, only pouting a little at his clingy nature.

‘Surely she understands my love and devotion to her her now.’

He deluded himself into thinking everything was okay… you were by his side, letting him hold you close as the two of you were linked together by the short chain.

In reality, you didn’t want to move away from him and get him in a sour mood after your behavior earlier. So you stayed still and quiet, your face slightly warm as he muttered those same words of adoration that you’d hear every time the two of you made love.

Your heart was beating fast, even though you didn’t want to feel these fuzzy feelings. You still loved him, forever tethered to him whether you liked it or not.

Escape was looking less and less likely… so instead of thinking about it too much, you tried your best to relax, feeling him harden against you.

Would it be so bad to have sex with the man that stole you away from the life you had before? He had been your boyfriend, and god you were too horny to even think as he tugged your panties to the side.

“You want this?” Kurapika asked, his cock rubbing against your needy pussy.

“Y-yes, please Pika!”

And he couldn’t deny you… not when you were begging for him.

His thrusts were messy, full of need and desperation for you. Kurapika had missed this, missed being inside of your warm, tight cunt. It had been months since he had last buried himself inside of you, days before your relationship was changed forever due to him stealing you away.

It felt so good, the both of you feeling all the tension fading away as you were able to focus on nothing but the feeling of your bodies joining together.

“P-Pika!”

His heart pounded in his chest when he heard you call for him. There was no underlying motive, you just wanted him, wanted him to hold you and make you feel good like he did before. You still loved him so much, it hurt. It hurt your very sole to be so reliant on someone that stole your freedom.

“I’m here… shh…”

He quieted you with a kiss, his tongue dancing with yours as you came. Kurapika couldn’t help the way his cock twitched inside of you as he thought about the possibility this creampie could get your pregnant.

One of the things he wanted in life was a family, to continue the Kurta clan bloodline. And you, panting softly after coming down from your high, were the only one he wanted to make a mother.

“Let’s get you cleaned up…”

Kurapika carried you to the bathroom, undressing you. Before, he may have been flustered at the sight of your naked body, but he had been dating you for nearly three years… if you counted the 6 months you’d been held captive with him.

Your body still made him blush, but it was familiar, warm. Safe.

After a quick bath, the two of you curled up in bed together. You didn’t have much of a choice considering the chain keeping the two of you tethered, but even if you weren’t tied to each other, you still would have wanted his comfort after sex.

“Did so well…” he whispered, kissing your forehead. No matter what you did, Kurapika was always so gentle with you.

You could kick, yell, bite, insult him, and scream at the top of your lungs, but he would only restrain you and hold you close. His touch was never rough or meant to hurt you…

“Tired, Pika…”

He hummed softly, his thumb stroking your cheek. “Sleep. I’ll be here, like always.”

It was meant to reassure you, but the thought of never being able to escape him still made you uneasy. Even if you did love him, even if he made you feel good and fuzzy inside… your freedom would still always be out of your reach.

Regardless, it had been a long day, and sleep took you without any consideration for your feelings.

As you dozed off, Kurapika just watched you. He was hopeful that soon enough, he would no longer have to keep you chained for him.

All he wanted was for you to stay with him, to be happy by his side…

And as you slept, curled up in his arms, he smiled softly.

You would always be with him, safe in his arms and away from the nasty outside world full of hate and misery.

He would keep you happy, make sure you were never hurt in any way. His mind couldn’t rest when you weren’t by his side… he needed you just as much as he needed to keep you safe.

Kurapika’s eyes grew heavy, and he knew that soon, he would join you in sleep. He could rest easy, knowing that his darling was right here with him, content and asleep.

“I love you, my precious angel. I hope you know that…”

[incorrectbatfam]

AITA for not avenging my son's death?

Throwaway account for obvious reasons.

I (45M) have six kids—27M, 23F, 23M, 17M, 16M, and 10M. This one concerns my 23-year-old son, we'll call him "Jay."

I adopted Jay from a rough environment when he was 12 and love him more than anything in the world even as I write this. I was heartbroken beyond words when he suddenly and unexpectedly died at 15. My grief took control (until my third son "Timmy" came along, but that's another story). Unbeknownst to me, after Superman tore a hole in realy, Jay came back.

However, our relationship's been strained ever since. He's angry at me for not being there for him or avenging his death. However, he's also had his fair share of vices by fraternizing with one of my enemies, going on murderous crime sprees, starting fights with his other siblings, and basically turning all the values I instilled in him on its head. When I first saw him after he came back, I couldn't even recognize him.

We've since then reconciled despite our continuing differences and I cannot emphasize how happy I am to have him back. However, we still get into the occasional argument. Last night, it was another repeat of the argument of why I didn't do anything after he died. Jay pointed out how when another son of mine (10M, gonna call him "Dami") died, I traveled to another planet to bring him back.

Now Jay is accusing me of favoritism and won't talk to me. He and my oldest son ("Richard") think I'm in the wrong for not trying to bring him back or at least avenge him. My wife and youngest disagree because I was younger, less experienced, and also suffered through the grief. My middle kids are on the fence and my butler refuses to weigh in, so I'm coming to you guys on the internet for another opinion.

[aether-starlight]

Silence - Zayne

Pairing: Zayne x Reader

Warnings: Minor injury, grief, brief mention of addiction.

Summary: After avoiding Zayne for some time, a situation arises where you are left with no choice but to see him.

Word Count: 1.5K

Anyone who knew you for long enough was aware of how much you disliked uncomfortable silences.

You always felt the urge to ease tense atmospheres, to build a bridge between opposing sides.

When Caleb had gone through that rebellious stage most teenagers seemed to experience at some point, you had been the mediator between him and Grandma.

Piercings were allowed after hours of soothing and convincing. Hunter's training had been authorized despite the fear of losing someone precious, accepting their freedom to choose.

Now, as Zayne placed careful stitches on your right cheek, you came to realize that you couldn’t be a person and a bridge at the same time.

He was upset, it was clear in the tense set of his jaw, the closed-off gaze he regarded you with, strictly medical in his evaluation of your injuries.

You know I’ll wait for you, you said the last time you saw him.

And yet, you had rescheduled appointments for later dates and avoided places you knew he’d probably be in.

You had been off social media in case he uploaded one of his rare posts, probably a disappointed restaurant review, or a reminder to his patients.

You had waited for anything he had been willing to give. A text, a call. But none had come, and it made you both furious and heartbroken.

No, you couldn’t be a bridge with Zayne.

You couldn’t stand in the middle. To have his affection but not his trust, a door only opened by halfs.

You would have all of him or nothing at all.

Of course, life, being such a poor comedian, had soon decided otherwise.

That Wanderer had gotten you good.

You had lost focus, too worried about watching over the kid hiding under a desk at your back to dodge long, sharp limbs.

Now your face was colored in shades of purple and blue, with the gash running down your cheek taking the price.

The receptionist knew who your head doctor was, and had almost screamed Zayne’s name into the phone when you accidentally scattered drops of blood at the edge of her desk.

You had been mid-apology when he stormed out of his office, quieting you with a single look.

Now, the atmosphere was certainly uncomfortable as he barely uttered a word beyond instructions of turning your head or how to care for the wound for the following weeks.

Silence had been filled with words that in the end felt hollow.

But now he was done, and his hand was still gently cradling your unharmed cheek, tilting your injured side to the light.

The scent of blood and antiseptic dimmed beneath the freshly washed clothes and lavender, coming from the sleeve of his white coat.

He called your name. You winced lightly at the repetition of your earlier mistake.

Zoning out was a matter of life or death in your daily life, and lately, you had been at odds without it.

“When was the last time you slept through the night?”

“You know I haven’t for a while now,” you replied quietly, gaze downcast.

Nightmares plagued you still. It was hard to disconnect from a job that required you to be in a constant state of alert.

His grip slid to your upper arm, a gentle pressure over your half-singed sleeve. You were lucky. So incredibly lucky to be alive.

“Why didn’t you make an appointment? I could have prescribed you a sleep-inducer.”

Your gaze darted to your lap, hands trembling, with uneven nails and scratched knuckles.

What a mess.

“I have an appointment.”

“A month due,” he chastised. “Do not think I am unaware that you rescheduled it.”

Your hands closed into fists as you finally met his eyes.

“You know why I did that.”

This time he was the one to look away.

“Do you wish for me to refer you?” A muscle twitched in his jaw.

You gritted your teeth, something half grieving-half furious stinging behind your eyes.

“I don’t.”

His hand was still on your arm and you could not figure out for the life of you why that was.

He sighed, weaker the longer he stared into your eyes. He had been told more than once that his evol was perfect for him. Cold as ice.

If he was ice, then you were the sunlight that slowly thawed it, changed it into something warmer, more adaptable.

A light that had come so close to being snuffed out.

Before he knew it, his forehead was pressed to yours, eyes closed as he basked in the darkness your conjoined shapes cast, the scent of you beneath all the grime and blood, of jasmine and warmth.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out.

Your lips pressed together, and your face contracted in that unflattering way it does when one is holding back tears.

“Why would you suggest that?” Your voice was small, betrayed. His sudden closeness surprised you, mostly because of the way your body reacted, pliant as an addict at the hint of temptation.

Zayne leaned back, cupping the back of your neck, running his thumb down the line of your jaw.

The low temperature of his hand soothed your heated skin, carefully pressed to the swollen and bruised areas.

“Perhaps it is because I don’t like seeing you hurt.”

You smiled, but it was humorless, wincing when it pulled at your stitches.

“It’s in the job description, unfortunately.”

Contradicting emotions bloomed within his gaze.

Repentance, relief, open and closed. His heart was a room you liked to peer into before the door slammed shut.

Someone knocked, coming in only to halt at your presence. A male doctor stood by the door. He seemed to be around Zayne’s age.

Surprisingly enough, Zayne didn’t pull away, keeping his hand where it was, now pressing his thumb beneath your ear.

The young doctor—Greyson, guided by his name tag—, gaped at the sutures on your cheek. Or perhaps at the rainbow of bruises marring your face.

You winced, an uncomfortable feeling spreading at the pit of your stomach. It was strange to be seen in such a vulnerable state by a complete stranger.

Noticing your discomfort, Zayne shifted to partially hide you from view.

“Yes?” He asked frigidly.

You often forgot how cold he could be. It was a pleasing contrast to how soft he was only for you; and a painful reminder of everything he had been through.

Getting information about Zayne’s past from his own lips was a challenging task. The few times he shared his experience as a combat medic and missions at Mount Eternal had been in an attempt to comfort you.

Doctor Grayson relayed information concerning a patient’s health improvement, placing a file on Zayne’s desk.

“I’ll see to their discharge,” he said, not turning until Grayson had shut the door behind him.

You felt yourself sag in relief, leaning forward until your forehead was pressed to his shoulder, eyes closed.

Lavender and antiseptic surrounded you, held you in the present, and kept your feet rooted to the Earth.

It was only once you felt the growing dampness on his coat, that you realized you were crying, shoulders shaking beneath his touch.

Zayne let out a low sound from the back of his throat, something sorry and tender.

“Why the tears, sweetheart?”

Pulling back, you roughly ran the back of your hands to your cheeks.

“I don’t know,” you admitted in a croaky voice. “I guess I’m just tired.”

Zayne’s gaze was soft as he grabbed your wrists, pulling them down to wipe your tears himself, with slow swipes of his thumbs.

Unable to meet his eyes, your attention drifted to the movement of his fingers, lithe and steady.

One day you had arrived for a check-up and his hands were littered with scars, a shade lighter than his skin.

You had ran the tips of your fingers over them, traced their rise and fall, felt the echo of his evol against your own, something sorrowful and guarded.

He had let out a derisive comment, something about his hands being no longer useful for anything but surgery.

Now, as they cradled your face so carefully, you couldn’t help but strongly disagree.

“Zayne,” you murmured, finally meeting his gaze.

Beneath your damp lashes, your eyes were red. Your hair could have used a comb, and your clothes were half charred. Not to mention the sorry state of your face.

And yet, to Zayne you had never been so dignified. A hunter in your own right, you were the one he bowed to as you bled. The one he thought of when pondering salvation.

You took the pain meant for others and crafted it into something else, something pure and meaningful.

When he answered, he was half ashamed to admit that his voice came out pliant and quiet.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

Your features were open and docile, something he was still too afraid to inspect. It opened the scars of the past, yearned for you to see them, hold them closed between your fingers.

“Can I crash here?”

His eyes darted to the painfully white couch you were meant to lie on if you did, then studied the grime and blood in your hunter uniform.

Lastly, he thought of the pile of clinical notes that awaited him.

He was a weak, weak man.

“Of course. I’ll wake you when I finish.”

The smile you offered him was nothing short of dazzling, even when toned down by your injury.

“Then your place?”

He flicked your chin, oddly playful.

“My place,” he confirmed.

[mama2bears]

The Storm Of Life - Part 1

Warnings: mention of death (no main characters), tornado

Pairing: Tyler Owens/ F. Reader

Summary: You are a single mother, currently sleeping in your car and trapped in the path of a tornado when Tyler finds you. He will go above and beyond to help you put the broken pieces back together again.

A/N: I had this idea and so far it has been really easy to write. Please let me know what you think. I was thinking of just doing little chapters and maybe do a slow burn relationship? Let me know what you think and if you want to see more. I am still new at writing fan fiction, so I love your feedback! Thank you for reading.

Part 1

“THERE IT IS!” Boone pointed out the funnel, “Seems to be heading east.”

“I got it.” Tyler made a sharp right turn on the next road. The tornado was a big one and it was heading directly towards them.

“WOO!!!” Boone hanged out the window with the video rolling, “Are you guys seeing this!” he yelled for all of the YouTube followers.

“What the hell...” Tyler slammed on the brakes and Boone almost went flying.

“What the..” then Boone seen it.. A small car parked on the side of the road, hood up, smoke coming from under the hood and in the direct path of the oncoming tornado.

“HEY! You gotta get out of there! You okay?” Tyler yelled.

He saw you in the driver's seat and clearly you had been crying. You had your young son and daughter in the back.

In an instant Tyler was out of the truck, “Come on, get in my truck!” he yelled over the roaring winds. He ripped open the back door and grabbed your son while Boone ran to the other side of the car to get your daughter.

Tyler helped you in the the backseat of the truck and handed you the children, 'We gotta go!”

“LULU! My LULU!” your little girl cried.

“Honey we can't...” you say softly.

“What's LULU?” Tyler asked.

“Her stuffed bear.” you say

Tyler ran back to the car and grabbed the stuffed animal off the back seat.

“Here sweetie. We can't leave LULU behind.” he handed the animal back to your daughter and hit a button on the center console of his truck.

“What are you doing? The tornado is here!” you scream.

“I know...put those harnesses on and hold on. We don't have time to outrun it now. I've anchored the truck, we will be okay.” Tyler turned around in his seat to make sure everyone was getting seat belts and harnesses on before he slipped his own harness on.

The truck shook as the twister passed right though them. There was a loud bang outside the window and your son cried “Our car mommy! Our car is gone!”

“We're okay!” Tyler yelled in hopes of comforting them. “It's okay...tornado is passing...it's okay.”

As quick as it got started, the tornado was gone and blue skies began to appear.

Tyler turned around to speak to you and his heart broke, seeing you and your kids in tears, “Hey, hey....it's okay. I'll see if I can find your car. We'll take photos for the insurance. They'll help you get another one. In the meantime I'll give you a ride home.” he tried to comfort you.

“That car was our home. Now I really have nothing.” you cried.

Tyler sighed and his eyes meant Boone's. He knew he had to help you, but he wasn't sure how just yet.

“It's going to be okay.” Tyler opened his door. “You guys stay here. There's a lot of debris out there and I don't want anyone getting hurt. I'll go see how bad it is.”

“I am scared mommy.” Your daughter cried. Your son was looking out the window crying. Boone turned around and saw you trying your best to dry your tears and comfort the kids. He wasn't great with kids, he didn't really have any experience, but he had to try something. It was breaking his heart to see you all so scared.

“Hey...who want's some ice cream? There's a little shop right up the road.” he gave a soft smile.

The kids crying stopped. “ME! ME! ME!” came happy yells from the backseat. Boone grinned, satisfied that he had made the kids happy, at least for a moment.

Tyler returned, a heartbroken look on his face. He got in the truck and turns to the back to look at you, “Sorry miss...the car is totaled. It's wrapped around a tree back there. I grabbed some clothes and toys I found and I've put them in the back of my truck for you.

“ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM!” the children in the back were still chanting, despite you trying to calm them down and fighting back tears.

Tyler frowned, a bit confused on why the kids were cheering for ice cream.

“We gotta go get ice cream!” Boone grinned at Tyler, “And you're buying.”

“Who's idea was this?” Tyler asked the kids with a small smile.

“HIS!!!” Both kids pointed at Boone, who tried to put on an innocent face.

“Alright...Ice Cream it is.” he smiled, keying up the radio to let the rest of the team know, “We're making a emergency ice cream stop in town.”

“A what?” Lily asked.

“Just meet us at the ice cream parlor in town.” Tyler said before starting the truck and heading towards town.

“I'm Tyler by the way. This is my buddy Boone.” he said, “We're storm chasers. I am glad we came by when we did. What you doing out here?”

“I was heading into town to see about finding a new baby sitter. My old one just quite and and I can't afford to lose my job. But now I don't know what I am going to do.” you turned your head to look out the window so your kids couldn't see the tears run down your cheek.

“Hey hey now...it'll be okay...What's your name?” Tyler asked.

“I am Y/N. This is my son Billy and my daughter Harley.” you say.

“Hi Billy and Harley!” Tyler smiled, “How old are you guys?”

The kids were silent as they looked at Tyler and back to their mom, “Harley just turned 3 and Billy is 4.” you tell him.

“Four and a half.” Billy corrects. “I four and a half.”

“Four and a half.” Tyler nods and flashes you a grin, “Get it right Mom! He's four and a half.”

You give him a grateful smile as he pulls the truck into the local ice cream shop. Thankfully the twister had touched down outside of town and died out before reaching it.

Tyler opens the door for you and lifts both kids out. “This is a big truck! I love trucks!” Billy smiled.

“Really?” Boone said as Tyler opened the door for everyone, “You know T here shoots fireworks off the back of his truck.”

“REALLY!” Billy's eyes light up.

“Really,” Tyler said. “Hey, maybe later I'll let you hit the button that makes them go BOOM!”

“YAY!” Billy cheered.

“What about you, Harley?” Tyler looked at her, “You wanna shoot off fireworks too?”

She nodded, biting at her figure nails.

“She's really shy...until she gets to know you. Once she knows you, she'll be stuck to you like glue.” you say as your daughter wraps her little arms around your leg.

Tyler gives you both a smile just as the rest of the team arrived.

“Ah, here's my team! This is Lily, she operates our drone.”

“You got a DRONE too! Can we set fireworks off of THAT!”

Everyone laughs and Tyler shakes his head no, “Sorry little man. Can't set fireworks off the drone, but we can look on a screen and see some really cool videos. It will be almost like you're a bird flying.”

“COOL! I am a eagle!” Billy yells, pretending to fly around the ice cream shop.

“Billy, stop that and come here.” you scold, to which he comes over and stands next to you.

“This is Dexter. He's our scientist and weather watcher. He helps Dani with our merchandise sales.” Tyler points to Dani, “And that's Dani...she's scientist, sales, YouTube, photo taker, you name it, she does it.”

“Everyone, this is Y/N and her two little ones, Billy and Harley. Their car just got wrapped around a tree by the tornado so, we're helping them out.”

“Oh my God, are you guys okay?” Lily asked.

“Yes, Tyler got us into his truck just in time. Thank God he got there.” You were shaking, realizing just how close you and the kids came to losing your life.

“Hey, it's okay now. Don't worry.” Tyler gave you a small hug, “So, what is everyone having?”

“Chocolate.” Dani ordered, “Strawberry” came Dexter's order, “Rocky road” Lily chimed in.

“Banana Split” Boone said, “And T said he's paying for it!” he informed the team.

You and the kids are looking at the many different ice cream flavors when Tyler walks up behind you, “Know what you guys want?” he asks softly.

“Bent Socket Rip.” Harley smiles.

Tyler frowns for a moment, then catches on, “Mint Chocolate Chip, right?”

Harley nods with a smile.

“Mint chocolate chip for me too!” Billy adds.

“And what about for mom here?” he asks.

“Chocolate will be fine. “ you smile.

“Coming right up.”

Everyone gets their orders placed and takes a seat around one of the tables.

“So you're storm chasers...you do this for a living?” you ask.

“Yes..and because it's fun.” Tyler smiles. “We do this to collect data for varies weather teams and to try to approve the warning time for these storms. We go into towns and help out after a tornado. I enjoy my work, even if it's dangerous. I respect the storm, but I try to have fun with it too, that way other people will want to learn more about thunderstorms and tornadoes and maybe learn how to be safe in them.

“What do you do?” he asks.

“I am a waitress at the diner here in town. Or I should say used to be. If I don't find a sitter by tomorrow then I am fired. And now I don't even have a car...so. I don't know. If it's not one thing it's something else.” you shake your head and try to hold back the tears that want to fall.

“We'll figure something out.” Tyler promised. “I am not just going to leave you stranded.” he bite his bottom lip trying to think.

“Hey guys, once you all are done with your ice cream, why don't you take the kids out and show them all the cool stuff we've got.” Tyler told the team.

“Can I see the fireworks!” Billy asked.

Tyler laughed, “Not yet, buddy. No shooting off fireworks in the parking lot. But maybe we'll go off into a field later and fire some off.”

“YAY! BOOM BOOM!” Billy's eyes light up with excitement.

“Thank you.” You give a small smile to this guy who just happened to stop and pluck you and the kids out of a tornado's path, and now he was going out of his way to make the kids happy and try to keep their mind off of the serious of the situation.

Once the kids were done with their ice cream the team lead them out to explore all three of their vehicles and the equipment that made storm chasing possible.

“Do you have any place to go?” Tyler asked once the kids were outside.

“No...I don't even know anyone.” you turn your head away as tears rolled down your cheeks.

“Hey, it's okay.” Tyler's voice was kind and gentle, “you know me and the team..that's something.” he placed a hand on your shoulder to comfort. “How about the kid's father? Is he in the picture?”

“No. He was killed three years ago in a tornado. Him and my parents. He went to get my parents from their house because they didn't have a storm cellar and we did. They were killed on the way back to our farm. The tornado blew the truck off the road.” you broke down in tears remembering that awful day. “Harley had just be born...”

“I am sorry.” Tyler pulled you into a hug. “No family or anything around?”

You shook your head, “My parents were my only family. His family had passed away before we met.”

Tyler took a deep breath, “Okay, let me make a phone call. I think I might have an idea.”

He stood and walked to the back of the parlor.

“Hey, mom?” he said when she picked up the phone.

“Listen, I have a lady here with two little children. Their car just got destroyed in a tornado. They were living in the car. She has no family and no where to go. That's about all I know right now, but she's gonna need a place to stay and maybe someone to watch the kids. At least for a little while. She's working at a diner here in town.”

“Okay, great. Mom, thank you. I love you too. Bye Bye.”

Tyler was smiling when he returned to the table, “Okay, my mom and I have a ranch about half an hour from here. We have two spare bedrooms and you are welcomed to stay there as long as you need. She even volunteered to watch the kids when you go to work. It's just her and the animals when I am not around, so I am sure she would enjoy some company.”

You smile and hug Tyler, “Thank you, thank you so much.”

“Not a problem.” he smiled. “Wanna go shoot off fireworks on our way?”

You smile, drying your tears, “Actually, that does sound pretty awesome.”

“Hot dog, let's go do it then!” he stood and walked with you to the door, “Who's ready for fireworks!” He yelled as he pushed open the door.

The whole team screamed like kids, making you break out in laughter, for the first time in years. You didn't know what laid ahead, but at least now, you had hope that maybe you could get back on your feet again.

[child-of-the-danube]

This was the most beautiful episode of a series I've seen in ages. I am amazed and absolutely heartbroken 💔💔

I knew my girl was on her way out, but her end was beyond beautiful. Having lived a life that was never your own, nothing you did or said changed what you saw, but your end being your own choice is pure poetry. Everyone else on the road had their power taken or blocked by something outside their control but Lilia's power was painful to the point that she decided to take it away herself. Feeling so powerless that you decide to MAKE yourself actually powerless to avoid any more hurt is such a gut wrenchingly hard decision. But imagine how terrifying spending half of your time unsure of where you are, if things are really happening or if you're just seeing something must have been. And on top of that, all people ever saw you as is a herald of death, or worse, they didn't see you at all. Nobody was there to share her fears and doubts, and neither to share any happiness that could have been. She was her own obstacle and what does she decide to do when clarity and confidence have finally returned to her? The one thing she was never able to do in centuries - save the ones she loves. And she does it by sacrificing herself.

And Death knew her. Rio knew who Lilia was from the start cause she watched her from the shadows. She watched her grow and learn and become a witch and most of all - survive. Keeping their true meeting for when it was time to stop running...

I'm going to cry myself to sleep tonight

And if you want to cry yourself to sleep tonight too (some more), go listen to Patti Lupone singing Stars and imagine it is Lilia...

[wassertoffatom]

Hiii I’m loving your little story’s amazing!

16 with our boy Maccready?

Maybe (RJ MacCready x F!Sole)

Main Master List || Prompt Master List

Author's Note: I'm really sorry about this one. My brain connected to my fingers and took it away from me. BUT THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!!

Warnings: 18+, MDNI, HEAVY HEAVY MENTIONS OF SUICIDE ATTEMPT, can't stress that enough, it got a tiny bit dark, language, alcohol usage

Word Count: 1.5k

==========

The Commonwealth is awake tonight, brimming with relief and happiness. Everyone heard the loud explosion that rattled what was left of Boston. The dust had settled hours ago, coating the Boston Commons in a thin layer of radioactive fallout. You’re not sure where your team went, but if you had to guess, they’re out celebrating. You should be celebrating with them, but how can you when you have just killed your only son?

So you sit alone, nursing a bottle of aged whiskey as you stare out into the city, contemplating your life these past eight months. Maybe Shaun had a point, you think to yourself, taking a swig of liquid. Maybe the Commonwealth is beyond helping. The thought causes you to freeze. How can you think like that? Despite 70% of the inhabitants trying to kill you, there are still some decent people. Thoughts like that are what formed the Institute. Maybe Shaun did get his messed up ideologies from you.

Shrugging your shoulders, you take another chug from your bottle, eyes peering out from the edge of MassFusion. Struggling to get up, you stagger to the edge, leaning your top half over, gauging the height. If you jumped, death would be guaranteed.

Tears prickle your eyes as you unlatch your pip boy, setting it to the side before stepping onto the edge, body swaying in drunken stupor. Would anyone miss you? What use to them are you now that the Institute is destroyed? Maybe MacCready will miss you, but even then, he got what he wanted. He got his son back. He won’t miss you. He has his son, everyone has someone, and you don’t. Maybe it would be best to join Shaun and Nate in the grave. “I’m sorry, Robert.”

Your leg slips off the edge, closing your eyes, expecting to meet air, but instead your body is thrown to the ground. Either that was a really fast fall or you’re dead. “What the actual hell are you doing?” That’s not Nate’s voice. That’s MacCready’s. Why am I hearing his voice? Is this what the afterlife is like? A pair of arms shake your body vigorously, causing your eyes to open, meeting a pair of very blue, but very angry eyes. “What the heck is your problem?” He drags your body away from the edge toward the center of the roof. 

“Mac? Am I dead?” You try to sit up but he places his body on top of yours, his hands holding your arms to your side.

“Is that what you’re doing? Were you trying to kill yourself?” His voice is strained, trying to hold back his emotion. “Why the fu-frick would you do that?”

You try again to sit up, but he doesn’t budge. In normal circumstances, you would blush with him on top of you, maybe tease him. Now is not that time. Knowing that he caught you, you let out a sigh of defeat. “Yeah, RJ. I was.”

Tears well in his eyes. Why would you do that to him? It’s bad enough Lucy is dead, he does not want another person he cares about dead. And no one would’ve known. “Why?”

Looking away from his heartbroken face, tears spill down your cheeks. “I don’t belong here, Mac. I don’t belong in this world.”

“So what? You’re just going to jump? Not tell anyone? Let some raider find your dead body? What if Piper had found your body? Hancock? Nick? Deacon?”

“Mac.”

“What if I had found your body? Do you have any idea what that would have done to me? How could you even think about doing something so… so stupid?!”

“There’s nothing for me here!” You yell out into the night, giving up trying to get out of his grasp. “My husband is dead! My son is DEAD! And I’m all alone,” you sob from underneath him as he looks away, wiping his tears. “I mean, Piper has her sister. Nick has Ellie. Hancock has Fahrenheit. You have Duncan. I have no one.”

MacCready slips off of you, instead pulling you onto his lap and holding you close to his body, terrified that you would try to jump again. One of his hands reaches up to stroke your hair in a vain attempt to sooth you. Looking up into the night sky, MacCready wishes to whoever is out there that they provide him with the words that he wants to say, but has always been scared to. A bright twinkle in the sky catches his eyes and he takes that as a sign. “You have me,” he pauses as your sobs begin to subside, now replaced with sniffles. “I love you, dammit. You’re the most incredible, strong, courageous, beautiful woman I know. You literally walked out of a vault, in a new world, and bared it to find your son. Not a lot of people would have done that. They would’ve given up, seen it as a lost cause, but not you. And even when we weren’t trying to find your son, you still helped people in ways that no one would have done.” You fall silent as he looks straight at you. “Even when given the choice between your son and the rest of the city, you chose the city. You’ve done so much for everyone. You’ve done so much for me. You saved me, from myself. I don’t know what I would do if I hadn’t seen you the second that I did.”

“How did you even see me? I thought everyone would be out celebrating?” MacCready chuckles, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your ear, using his thumb to wipe your cheek.

“I never left. I decided to just stay in the shadows. I knew you needed space and I didn’t want to be a bother, so I just hung around in the shadows. It’s a damn good thing that I did. I didn’t know what you were going to do, but my gut was telling me you were about to do something stupid, so I stepped in.” Both of you fall silent, embarrassment blooming under your cheeks at the thought of actually going through with it right in front of him while he comes down from the adrenaline rush of running over to you and grabbing onto you at the last second before throwing you onto the ground. He didn’t mean to throw you, but if it was throwing you two feet onto the roof or watching you fall 14 stories, he would throw you over and over until he couldn’t no more. 

Reaching back to scratch at the nape of his neck, he averts his eyes to the edge where he had almost lost you before turning his attention back to you. “Look, (Y/N). I know you think that you don’t have anyone here, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m sure that the entire decent half of the Commonwealth would rally behind you if you gave the word. And I know I’m not a lot, but you have me at the very least. You will always have me.”

His words peel at your heart. You’ve always had a soft spot for the mercenary, and fell completely in love with him when he told you his story. And now, hearing him pour out his heart again, this time for you, has you reconsidering your plight. “RJ. You are more than enough.” You surge forward, your lips pressing into his like he’s your lifeline. 

It takes him only a second to realize what is happening, but as he realizes, he’s immediately kissing back, holding you impossibly close, mentally cursing the clothes between the two of you. Not that he’s thinking of sex right now, because he’s definitely not, but he craves the physical intimacy that this moment requires. Pulling away with slight regret, he presses his forehead against, sharp lines of his nose nudging yours in a loving manner. “Please, reconsider. Stay here, alive, with your friends. With me. Stay with me.”

“But what about Duncan?”

“What about him? (Y/N), you and him are the most important people in my life. I would do anything for either of you. Please, stay with me and Duncan. I need you.”

Nodding your head, you wipe the snot from your nose with the back of your hand, trying to make yourself presentable knowing it’s a moot point. “Ok.”

“Okay!” He giggles softly, pulling you back into him, cradling your head as he presses a kiss to your temple. “You’re going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”

“RJ?”

“Hmm?”

“If I did do it. Would you come to my funeral?” 

“I’d bury you next to Nate and Lucy. I mean it. I would do anything for you.”

[blingblong55]

Just a bet- Philip Graves

Based on a request: Can I make a request, please of a heartbreaker Graves x Naive/Innocent Fem!reader? (Am in need some feelings hurt to feel something) Prompts; - reader is a general’s daughter, whilst grave is an ambitious soldier who aimed to be a captain (or somewhere along the lines) - There were bets of who can f-ck the general’s daughter happening behind the scene among the soldiers, and Grave decided to join in - Unfortunately reader, fell in love with grave. Found out it just a bet, felt betrayed and heartbroken. I hope this is okay with you, also it's okay if you don’t want to do it 🫶🏻🫶🏻 tqsm!

F!reader, angst, implied sexual relations

A/N: This will be short but I hope you enjoy :)

R/L/N, R/N, a 24-year-old soldier, daughter of General R/L/N. You are beautiful, no doubt about that, but that thought would soon leave when you'd eventually find the truth out.

Your dad was one of the most respected generals in the army, always having soldiers ask what it's like to grow up with such a man as your father. You, of course, have always been proud of him, for all his accomplishments and his success. Your dad always raised you to be kind and nice, always kept you far from the military life, in private schools and at times you'd be homeschooled. Once you joined the army, your dad was proud to have you under his command, mainly because he knows damn well he can take you out of any risky assignment. This of course brought many arguments between you two, but so far all is good.

There was one very ambitious soldier at base, a 27-year-old lieutenant that went by the name of Philip Graves. You never talked to him much before the whole 'thing' happened. Your dad had brought him to dinners and said he felt Graves had what was needed from a future commander.

A few of the soldiers at the base were at a bar once, your name was brought up after a few drinks in.

"heard she is single." a younger soldier said.

"I'd honestly ask her out if she wasn't the general's daughter." another spoke.

"I think I could." the men laugh at the last man's comment.

"yeah, like she would let you hit." the other men laugh.

"but the bet is still on, yeah?" a sergeant asks.

"like we would forget." one answers. You see, the men have seen you workout, how your body looks in your workout clothes. The way your breasts look so big in that hoodie and how your thighs are so thick they move so perfectly when you run. So, after they had collectively agreed you were attractive, they all placed bets. 'Whoever can sleep with you first and get proof, would be the winner of the money collected.'

"I think I definitely could." Graves spoke up, and the men turn to him, "oh yeah? How about a bet?" one of the other sergeants asks. "What kind of bet?"

"If you can get into her pants by, let's say, next month...you win the money we have placed on this bet." the sergeant confidently said.

"How much money?"

"so far, 300, so you in?"

"Better start handing me that money." Graves chuckles and the other men laugh, some pat his shoulder others are intrigued to see if he would be the one you sleep with. And after that night, he had two things to do, use you to win that bet and use you to get your dad to maybe promote him to a higher rank. Easy on paper, but he knew you and heard from your dad how you were, so he knew it would be a little hard to get them both done. 

13 hours after he placed himself in the bet, he spotted you, talking to your dad, maybe about some stupid father-daughter thing. "Hello, sir," he said as he approached you both, Graves was already beyond the point of being too formal with your dad. "Son," your dad always greeted almost every young soldier like that, "how can I help you?" your dad finally asked. "Was maybe thinking of inviting your daughter here on a date, but because you are my general, I need to make sure it is okay with you." Son of a bitch never even spoke to you, besides the usual awkward 'hey's' around the base. "I can say yes, but this is up to her." your dad answers to him. Meanwhile, you stand there, confused and shocked. 

You knew your parents thought you'd end up alone, so just to satisfy them, you agreed on the date with him. By Wednesday of that week, you and Graves went on that date. It was surprisingly nice and he was so kind and such a gentleman towards you. You lived off base, per the request of your dad to live with them, 'much safer and you won't have to share your room or shower.' your dad had argued. So, when the night came to an end, Graves drove you back to your home. The entire way there, he was telling jokes and asking if you were comfortable enough during the whole thing. 

Once at the front door of your home, he leans in and kisses your cheek, "I had so much fun r/n, I do hope you think I am worthy of another date like tonight." He had a certain charm to him, no doubt of that. You, being so happy that for once a man hasn't asked you for any explicit stuff agreed on the next date. "Oh thank you so much, it truly is a privilege to get another date with you." His underlying motives are hidden so well under his 'nice and gentle' mask. He made sure you walked into your home before he even drove away, another reason to give you he was a trustworthy guy. Truth be told, that was how he was, bet or not, he always did treat his dates with respect and care and this time around he'd treat you extra special. 

After a few more dates and only 18 hours left of his deadline, you two found yourselves in a bar. It was the one on the east side of the town, far from the base, making it the perfect place to get you in the mood. His hands at times would rest on your thighs, waist or the small of your back. And once he got you hooked, he led you to his car. Lips on yours as he laid you on the backseat of his truck. Without much effort, you two eventually were undressed, hands wandering on the other. Lips kissing and meeting skin, all was going to plan. For a while on dates, he'd drop little things about himself, who he wanted to be in the army. What his aspirations were and as he soon had you falling for his charms, rumours of a set of promotions were circling base. 

The last thing he had was the bet. As he claimed your body for the night and whispered sweet nothings, the deeper you fell into this false hope he had given you. And all you wanted at the time was someone to love and to hold, not someone who'd use you for who you're related to and not money. He took, as proof, a picture of him kissing your shoulder, your tattooed wrist in frame. If only you knew at the time what the picture would be used for. The shame and sorrow his games would bring you. 

The next day at the base, the picture was shown to the group of men that had placed bets. You looked for him around the base and told him he'd be at the mess hall. "Can't fucking believe you lucky bastard on the bet." the sergeant spoke with a chuckle. You heard this and wanted to know what bet he entered. "Yeah, I tell you, she thinks I did like her." 

"how desperate of her to think someone likes her for her and not that body." some of the other men laugh at the sergeant's comment. Your eyes immediately watered, the humiliation he had put you through. If you weren't so blind, he would've never had his way with you, if you saw his real motives for smooth-talking you at that bar maybe you'd still have pride in yourself. This whole time, you thought these soldiers and especially him, just wanted to talk and be friends. 

For a moment, you did believe someone showed interest in you not in what you looked like. They say beauty is pain, but the shame and sorrow such beauty brings when you are used for some bet is more than just the pain to be beautiful. 

My heart, my hips, my body, my love Trying to find a part of me that you didn't touch

[quibbler-quirks]

Perfect Imperfections - Ominis x fem!Reader

Summary: Ominis asks MC to the Yule Ball. Or at least that was his plan.

Word count: 1.5k

Tags/warnings: she/her pronouns, a little bit of angst, assumed Triwizard Champion MC

A/N: Thank you for all of the love for my first post! I am truly not a writer, but Ominis has been bringing me lots of comfort. Just a little scenario I thought of~ I hope you enjoy!

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It was a terrible misunderstanding really.

Upon the end of her fifth year, MC had thought she had seen all the wizarding world had to offer. Magical prowess beyond her wildest dreams, a goblet of flames spitting out perfectly unburnt paper, and friends that seemed to transcend consequence. That is why strolling into the Transfiguration Courtyard as silent snowflakes fell from the sky, she could not understand why the pale hands of a certain Ominis Gaunt were in the hands of a particularly bubbly Anne Sallow.

It was not as if Ominis and MC were officially courting, but MC had thought after what had happened in their fifth year, they truly had a chance to become friends in their sixth and seemingly more in their seventh.

In her unoccupied hand, Anne held a beautiful bouquet of white roses and snowdrops, sprinkled with opulent green ferns and frosted holly berries. The perfect bouquet to ask someone to the Yule Ball with and with sudden clarity, it all made sense. Ominis had invited Anne to the Ball and not herself. Of course, nothing could triumph a childhood love, especially not after going through extreme measures to find a cure for Anne. MC knew Ominis had cared deeply for Anne throughout their search, but she felt embarrassed by her own ignorance realizing his care was out of love for the Sallow twin. 

With the sight of the bouquet blurring, MC continued hastily through the courtyard into the Defence Against the Dark Arts Tower, hoping no one could see the tears that welled in her eyes.

-------

“Bombarda!” a barrel explodes into splinters.

“Confringo!” a suit of armour topples to the ground.

How could she have been so blind? So selfish? While her feelings for the Gaunt boy had blossomed, it did not mean his feelings had done the same. Frustrated between being happy for her friends and heartbroken, MC lashed out spell after spell, aiming at particularly nowhere. The Undercroft was alight with flashes of colours as if someone had set off fireworks. She should be happy for them. Both were such kind souls and had helped each other through thick and thin, but thoughts of how well they matched did not comfort her. Besides, she had bigger things to worry about.

Continuing to bellow out spells, MC did not notice Sebastian had been watching her for some time, unsure of how to stop her. 

Suddenly, the gates of the Undercroft were once again creaking open, but MC’s shouts deafened her senses.

“MC?” called out Ominis.

“She’s been at it for centuries,” Sebastian remarks. “I can’t seem to get her to calm down.”

“What did you do?”

“Why do you always assume it was me?”

“Because it is always you, Sebastian,” Ominis grunts, “if it was not you, then what happened?”

“That… is a fair point,” Sebastian admits in defeat. “I’m not sure, I just know she has been like this since I got here. Practicing for the next challenge maybe? You can give it a go, but I’m going to find somewhere else to read. Good luck.”

The room felt a lot emptier since Ominis had last been there. Hearing Sebastian’s footsteps fade up the stairs, Ominis could also hear just how sharply the spells echoed off of the Undercroft’s stone walls. As if none of the crates and barrels he knew to be placed there existed at all. 

“I’m sorry love,” he whispers, directing his wand to the voice of MC. “Arresto momentum.”

Time suddenly stops for MC and her mouth fails to produce another coherent word.

“Reparo!”

The shattered state of the Undercroft begins to repair itself as Ominis carefully strolls over to MC, bringing down her arms and tucking her body into his chest. He could feel her wet tears seep through his wool jumper. Just how much had she been crying?

“What did you do?” the voice of Anne Sallow shrieks.

“Again, why does everyone always assume it was me!” Sebastian retaliates as the twins reappear at the base of the Undercroft.

Slightly embarrassed his childhood friends might have seen him holding their mutual friend quite intimately, Ominis jumps away, a blush rising to his ears. 

Seeing the tears falling down her best friend’s face, Anne rushes over to MC, bouquet forgotten on the floor, ready to embrace her. “What did my oaf of a brother do this time?”

Suddenly processing the other people present in the Undercroft, MC wipes her tears and tries to compose herself. “I’m sorry I didn’t see you come in! Don’t worry, Sebastian didn’t do anything… this time… that I know of...”

“Hey-” Sebastian starts.

“Never mind him then. My brother said you were crying as he was coming out of the Undercroft. Is everything okay, MC?”

“Yes, no worries! I’m sorry for worrying you! I was just, erm, worried about the upcoming challenge? Lots to practice I’m afraid”

“That’s bullocks,” Sebastian scoffs, “the Second Task isn’t for another two months! You’ll be fine.”

“Well, something must be on your mind,” Anne says, voice laced with concern.

“Maybe it’s just the Triwizard Tournament in general! There’s so much going on! Seriously, Anne, I’m fitter than a Fwooper! I just came from Professor Weasley’s office and I suppose the pressure really got to me,” MC forces a smile, eyes dropping to the fallen bouquet that lay near Ominis’ feet. “Besides, we have the holidays and the Ball to look forward to! We still have to go shopping for your dress, Anne! Even if our dear friend can’t see how stunning you will look, I think it will still be nice to dress up,” she continues to ramble on, gaze unmoving from the bouquet.

Slowly putting together the puzzle pieces, Anne gasps and steps back from MC in shock. Looking at the fallen bouquet, the Gaunt boy’s red ears, then her friend’s tear-stained face, she realizes MC must have seen her and Ominis in the courtyard on her way to the Undercroft. It really was a terrible misunderstanding.

“You, Gaunt, have some fixing to do,” pointing at the poor boy despite his lack of sight. She huffs over, picking up and shoving the bouquet into his arms.

“What did I do?” he pleads, genuinely concerned.

“Yeah! Why do you always assume it’s us?” Sebastian cries out again.

“Boys…” Anne mutters, dragging her brother back up the stairs past the gate. “I think you have something important to address.”

And with a final grit of her teeth, the Sallow twins disappear back into the tower, leaving a baffled MC and an even more confused Ominis.

Feeling the leaves of the once pristine bouquet tickle his chin, Ominis searches his mind for any reason Anne would ruin the surprise he had prepared.

“That really is a lovely bouquet. Anne is very lucky,” MC breaks the silence.

Oh… Oh! Cursing under his breath, Ominis finally understands what Anne had meant. Oh, this was not going according to plan at all.

Eyes opened wide and stammering over his words, Ominis speaks, “No! No, you are mistaken! These aren’t for Anne! Why would I give such a thing to Anne? A bouquet? That’s ridiculous. Not that bouquets are ridiculous or that I wouldn’t give anything to Anne..” Taking a deep breath, he finishes, “This was meant for you.”

Slightly shocked, MC starts, “But I saw you and Anne in the courtyard and I thought–”

“These were meant for you! I mean, these are for you, love.”

“I don’t think I’m quite following.”

Ominis approaches her carefully, reaching out for her hands and gently placing the bouquet in them. “I am asking you if I could have the honour of accompanying you to the Yule Ball.”

MC’s jaw drops in shock. Too stunned to say anything.

“That is if you are not already going with someone. I know it is rather late of me to ask, but I had this whole thing planned where I was going to–”

Then suddenly his words are cut off by the feeling of lips pressed against his. It is short and it is sweet. It is clumsy but evidently full of love. Everything a first kiss could ever be.

Breaking the contact, MC steps back, clutching the bouquet in her arms. “Wow, what a mess and a fool I am… I didn’t think you were going to ask. I would love that very much, Ominis.”

Smiling and reaching out to place his hands on top of MC’s, Ominis chuckles, “What a mess indeed. I apologize for all of the trouble I have caused. Anne actually was the one helping me pick out the flowers for you. I wanted them to be even a fraction as beautiful as you are, little dove.”

“They are perfect.”

“Not as perfect as you.”

-------

Bonus:

“OH! I UNDERSTAND NOW!” Sebastian shouts. “That sly dog! Took him long enough.”

“Boys…” Anne grumbles again, but holds back a smile as she watches Ominis and MC hand in hand walking across the courtyard where just moments before everything went astray.

[infiniteetcetera]

Potentially controversial statement here but I swear this is not an attack just a genuine question: why do people assume Lucien will genuinely want/be heartbroken by Elain???

A point I see so often attacking Elain/defending Elucien is that Lucien has “been through too much to be heartbroken again” and “deserves happiness” and “SJM loves his character and wouldn’t just take his mate away” but like…why do we equate mates with happiness and Lucien with liking Elain at all??

Obviously, Lucien is far more willing to try out the bond than Elain is. We know he’s attracted to her physically (but let’s be fr she’s obviously attracted to him too, our fox boy is hot) but beyond that there’s like…nothing to it?? They don’t talk, he doesn’t know her particularly well, the time they spend together is awkward, and Elains initial impression on a lot of people is being simple/boring (I am NOT saying Elain actually is these things, just that’s the vibe she gives off to people as other characters have noted).

I think Lucien is definitely curious about Elain, he grew up believing a mating bond was this big powerful perfect thing and thought he lost his mate ages ago. Elain doesn’t make sense as a mate to him, which seems to make him all the more curious about her. I think there’s also a lot of guilt tied up between them too, we know Lucien feels bad about what he did to Feyre and how he was involved with what happened to the sisters. We also know Lucien is a well bred polite courtier of a man. All these things together make it seem perfectly reasonable why Lucien still tries to speak to Elain, buy her gifts, acts how one would expect a male to act with his mate, is put off by her cold shoulder, etc but I genuinely don’t believe he has real feelings for her beyond the bond (yetttt) because…literally how could he???

Again this really isn’t me hating on Elain, she’s lovely but a pretty private/complex character as well and Lucien doesn’t know her. I’ve seen so many posts lately about how “Lucien would be so crushed to know what happened on Solstice” or “Elain has to grovel for liking Azriel because it’s wrong” or even just the insinuation (which silly goofy characters like Rhys make themselves) that Lucien is ready to blood duel and start throwing hands for Elain and again I just REALLY DONT SEE IT. I think he’s curious about the bond and willing to see the whole mess through but Lucien really has no reason to want Elain any more than she wants him. I know apparently the bonds “effect the males more” or whatever but if Cassian’s ridiculous “I’ll let Rhys threaten my mate any day” self has taught us anything it’s that it’s reallyyyyyy not that simple.

I don’t know I just feel like there’s this weird babying of Lucien’s character I’ve seen a lot in the fandom recently that completely misunderstands him. Like our boy was spitting 10/10 rizz in the first book and gets called hot by 90% of the characters, he is not some underdog here. Elain is not above him and he really doesn’t need her. The love triangle is really more a fandom thing than some actual competition between the characters. Even if Azriel wasn’t involved Elain would still act the same way toward Lucien and I honestly think if he really wanted her/ if they had a connection prior to being told they are mates he’d be handling the situation differently. For now, I think people are assuming he’s a lot more invested than he actually is.

Obviously this is a romance series and there will be drama involving the Elain/Lucien/Azriel love triangle in the next book because that’s been what’s laid out, but if Elain just turned around and said “sorry respectfully I want someone else let’s break this bond” I really don’t think Lucien would be “heartbroken” or “crushed” over it. Again, there’s this whole weird “mating bonds drive males crazy” thing up in the air but I’ve failed to see any real examples in the ACOTAR universe that show me these bonds are a good thing so I’ll believe it when I see it🤧

IDK, overall I know this series is about the sisters but I love Lucien’s character so much and really want to see more of him (and believe there’s a lot to unravel there) and people threatening to not read the rest of the series if next book is Elriel because “Lucien’s been through enough” just seems silly to me because I think his happy ending has nothing to do with Elain. It might involve Elain, yes, but Lucien also has a father, a mother, and a brother out there who are all decent people that would love him which he hasn’t gotten to explore yet. I’m also convinced this man could pull any male or female in Prythian if he wanted so I don’t think just because she’s framed as his big love interest now Elain is his only option.

I know a lot of people feel strongly about their side of the love triangle but I just really want to see all these characters happy and think a lot of people are overthinking it😭 I think SJM has equal probability of making Elucien a great 10/10 ship and ruining their potential and making them Nessian 2.0 so I’m much more concerned with these characters being written well and getting a real happy ending than who that ending is with. I also think ACOTAR has been very limited in scope thus far and Lucien is one of the few characters with the possibly to break out of that mold and get us out of the night court for a bit (yes this is me once again asking for a Lucien TOD book😔✨) . He could still 100% wind up with Elain, but I really just don’t imagine the love triangle/build up to that being as dramatic as people think. Lucien and Az are both decent respectful males and as long as neither oversteps I really just see it coming down to what Elain wants and whatever her choice is I think both characters will respect it and be able to move on perfectly fine.

[furiousgoldfish]

(osdd, behaviour theories)

I've figured out from my interactions with other alters that I must be kind of a caretaker, at least for the children, other adult parts don't seem to need care. I am the only adult part who consistently attempts to take care of the children, even as they consistently reject me.

I'm starting to think that maybe if I'm in the caretaker role, this is my problem with interacting people in real life; my instincts are still just to take care of people, especially people younger than me, and I often give in to that impulse, and end up doing a lot to make other people's lives easier, to offer them comfort, food, favours, information that might be helpful, company when they need it, entertainment, validation, and pretty much anything else they might want. I usually do it because I can't watch them struggle on their own, knowing that I can make things easier for them, and they don't need to figure everything out alone if I'm here. It also triggers me when they're in pain and alone because I was in pain and alone all my life, to see that reflected in others is excruciating and I end up doing everything I can to prevent that.

But, all these people consistently end up doing harm to me, I've complained before about how I've had to cut off, or have been betrayed in insane amount of friendships, it keeps happening. I've thought a lot about why does it happen, why can't I ask even one thing out of them without them acting brutal in return, people would get angry at me even if I just ask them to sit down and watch a video with me so I would calm down. And there's been extreme harm, one of them stole money from me, creating huge financial troubles, some of them broke my stuff, when it was obvious that I only have very little and depend on what I have, they never replaced what they broke, even when I asked them to. Lots of them attempted or even succeeded into forcing me to do something against my will for them, some of them turned on me and started insulting and attacking me for being sick, some of them threatened me, or attempted to physically hurt me.

It's always the most unexpected batshit thing that happens and I get heartbroken because, I'd never do it to them, or anyone, and I've invested energy and care into these people and never hoped to get anything in return, but it was beyond me that it would come back to hurt me.

So, naturally as the result of all that, I've decided to stop caretaking, but here's the thing; I can't stand it. I literally can't stand seeing a person in need and not offering help. I've berated myself for it, attempted to keep distance and act apathetic, and it's still like a compulsion, it chafes on me to know there's someone somewhere in pain and I'm not by their side making it better.

And now I've started thinking, wait, what if this is the osdd thing? Because I'm the caretaker part of the system, that's my role, it's what I was made for in the system, and being constantly in the real world, I end up caring for other people. The system rejects me so I am not able to care for the other parts of me, and I end up doing it for other real people instead.

Is this why I do everything? Is this why I made this blog? Because I'm a misguided caretaker created to comfort my other parts but then I couldn't and now I'm just stuck trying to help just anyone I possibly could? Is this just a manifestation of osdd dysfunction?

I'm now questioning everything I do, trying to connect it to my role, but it does feel like I do things desperately trying to help others, but I'm also at this point, terrified of others, and still can't stop trying to help anyway. I feel cursed. I wonder how it would be to not be so separated from the parts of me that are more apathetic and even hateful of other people, I think for sure the urge to take care of them would go down. I feel so dysfunctional.

[nervousimposter]

Notes: I am in the works for part 2 on this. I’m thinking of an explicit scene in Steves POV so that should be out in a few days. 

Part two

Everybody knows the picnic table behind the school was for one specific purpose. One purpose ran by one person, and it was by appointment only, thank you very much. Outside of those business hours, the table was to be avoided. And it was. No one went into the woods behind the school unless a meeting was scheduled. Even on those days that a buyer would traverse that one-minute walk through the woods to the table, they would get the goods, pay and immediately leave. They never stayed beyond the 30 second interaction. No one wanted to spend more time than they needed with the super senior ‘Freak’. Capital F required according to some people. 

But it’s fine. Actually, more than fine. It left that portion of school grounds almost always student free. Eddie took advantage of that. Has been taking advantage of it really. His reputation kept all those pesky people from even wanting to step near the woods leading to the table. Which is exactly what he wanted. A place for him to get away. Somewhere he didn’t need to deal with assholes bothering him or a quiet place to scheme his next campaign. That was all he was trying to achieve. His own little fortress of solitude. And that was exactly what it was starting his junior year. Picnic table paradise. Second run through of senior year though. That brought some changes. One change mainly, but that trickled into many. So, so many. 

It started on that first day of school. Alarm was forgotten to be set, rushed through getting ready, yadda yadda yadda. Pretty familiar school morning for Eddie, to be honest. Got to class just as the bell rang so just took the closest available seat. All that trouble only to realize he didn’t have a pencil. So what does he do? Ask the person in front of him for one. And then he’s staring into Steve Harrington’s eyes. His pretty, pretty brown eyes. And that's where it all started. Pencil favors led to casual conversations which led to services exchanged which led to meeting at the table behind the school. All pretty standard when it came to getting customers for Eddie. But Steve wasn’t like the rest of the student body. He didn’t just grab his goods and go. He sat down. He sat and talked. Not only did he stay during those appointments, he showed up outside of them. Sometimes Eddie would get to the table and Steve would already be there. Eddie was fucked. Royally, royally fucked. 

He held out for five months. The first two were because Steve was in a very committed relationship with Wheeler and seemingly VERY straight. The next three after that was because Steve was clearly heartbroken over whatever happened to him over Halloween and was still seemingly VERY straight. But then came that auspicious day mid-January. A, at this point, regular meet up at the picnic table to shoot the shit had them leaning against each other laughing at something he can’t even remember anymore. The kind of laughter that would end only to start again when they made eye contact. In the lull of comfortable silence after their fit, both of them just trying to catch their breath, Steve turned towards him and grabbed his face. Cradled it, really. Big warm hands just bracketing his cheeks and holding him still as his eyes trailed across his face before landing on his lips. Asking without asking. And of course Eddie kissed him. Kissed him absolutely silly. And that was a month ago. A whole month now of daily picnic table meetups. The picnic table that no one goes to without appointments. Fortress of solitude. Picnic table paradise. Aptly named now that Steve Harrington was involved.

[roseameilatempest]

Shinobu’s representation of feminism.

An opinion about shinobu i’ve had for a while now is that her having a male love interest would mischaracterize her, so this is an analysis to explain why.

Manga spoilers

To start off, i think i should point out that shinobu’s the only woman in demon slayer to never previously have, or ever get a husband. It does go deeper than that of course. Shinobu planned her own death to avenge her sister, she was always going to die in the main story. If she was to catch feelings for anyone she would probably ether not acknowledge them, or push them aside. Therefore a romantic plot line with anyone during her canonical arc would not benefit her character at all. So why am i specifically only saying ‘men’ and not people in general?

Shinobu has many feminist aspects to her character, nearly everyone that had an impact on her story was a girl, her sister, kanao especially, tamayo (in a more negative way) and even mitsuri. In general she’s drawn to strong feminine characters. Her entire story is about avenging her sister, the sister whom she envied for being physically stronger than her. Yet despite her lack of physical strength, she still was smart enough to create a poison to kill demons. Which resulted in her becoming a hashira.

You could even interpret douma vs shinobu as a metaphor for women’s rights, men being seen as superior to women because they are physically stronger, yet shinobu still outsmarted douma. There’s still ways to add a love interest, you’d just have to change her story, there’s two significant moments that could possibly change her fate, first if kanao got to douma on time when shinobu was fighting him, or, if someone was to talk shinobu out of her plan. I’m going with the latter.

Shinobus plan is caused by her desire for revenge, she’s not going to be persuaded to change her plan by simple conversations. She would need someone that she could trust to understand her reasoning and struggles. Shinobu needs that compassionate person to make up for the lack of compassion she shows herself. As an example, mitsuri. Mitsuri is very empathetic and parallels shinobu, shes very physically strong, while shinobu is the opposite, yet they still both share the same feeling of insecurity, and could relate that way. If something prompted it they could definitely have a deep conversation about shinobus plan, mitsuri probably would be heartbroken at the idea of it.

i don’t think the existing male characters could properly empathize with the feminist aspects of her character, many of them could definitely sympathize with her, but shinobu still has themes about the struggles of being a women. Comparing herself to the likes of mitsuri and kanae, like women commonly do. Even the fact she hides her anger because it’s immature is also a theme that a lot of women can relate too. A man would not be able to do anything about it and most likely not even understand. if giyuu was better at socializing then shinobu and him could definitely have a conversation about imposter syndrome and being ashamed in general but beyond that none of the men would know how to help shinobu with her insecurity, or her other related issues.

Having a character that falls in love with another, usually works better when they develop each other’s characters in some way, if there was going to be an alternative universe where shinobu didn’t die and instead worked on getting over her insecurity and anger then she would still need a feminine character in her life to help her with that. Shinobus a very theme driven character, a male love interest is not going to aid her story because of how focused her character is around feminism. That doesn’t mean feminist characters cannot have male love interests, mitsuri is a great example of that, a male character still aids in her development despite having many feminism themes.

Shinobu is a great representation for female rage, she’s very well written. This analysis isn’t to say you can’t ship shinobu with a man, i’m more speaking on canonical aspects of her character and how it would be extremely hard not to mischaracterize her or stereotype her if you were trying to rewrite her story and give her a male love interest.

As well as also giving my own reasoning on why i personally don’t like ships her and other men.

[kaedekolya]

and once again! clarence devotes every last fibre of his being to serving the people of his world! wails this scene in his lost bloodline route wrecked me so badly i'm just. heartbroken.

the way clarence takes on the duty that others assign to him as his own, the way he goes above and beyond for others even while being consciously aware that he's stretching his own limits. the way he views it both as a responsibility, that he must fulfil because of his inherent ability to do so, and as an active choice, that he undertakes because this is the way he knows how to care.

this is the way clarence serves the world, and this is the way he lays himself down for it. lays himself bare for it. here, he tells the world, i am yours for the taking. bleed me dry and pick my bones bare, because this is what i am made for. this is my purpose, my power, my prayer. use me as i am meant to be used, consume me like an offering to the god that i am not.

(...i will probably write a proper meta analysis for lost bloodline clarence at some point but for now i am wailing over this self-sacrificial boy)

[merakiui]

Omg!! :0 neige i love seeing more stuff about him and just adding more to unknown characters because they give us so little about them T_T like idk about you mera BUT i am waiting (eagerly) for Rielle crumbs!! (definitely not because of all the ideas of him and the octotrio wanting the same darling) we don't even get his official appearance yet i personally think that Rielle is oblivious to everything and also some drawings of an artist i don't remember the @ of inspire more thoughts in me! Just Rielle being unable to communicate with anything else that isn't mer when speaking to his darling due to nerves? Amazing. In my balance of darkness i would say he is a bit similar to neige and not knowing much about human culture which could result in him not respecting some boundaries but he is the one who suffers in my head *cof cof by the octotrio cof cof* Rielle being an absolute himbo while the trio watch and mocking him because "As if thats going to work!... WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT HE IS TAKING DARLING ON A WEEK LONG TRIP TO THE CORAL SEA????" maybe this doesn't make much sense because i just toke my meds but Rielle <3

And i would absolutely love to hear your thoughts about just in general! I hope you are doing well :D

-Cuchito anon (possibly high on meds)

Omg yes!!! Every day I hope we will get a Rielle reveal. I must know what he looks like. <3 but I absolutely agree with your points about his limited knowledge of the human tongue, considering he's likely never been to the surface before or interacted with humans until eventually attending RSA! He definitely only knows mermish and he's doing his best to learn more words and phrases in the human language, but beyond that he really is lost when it comes to verbal communication. I like to imagine body language plays a big role in strengthening your bond with him, which Azul curses to hell and back because body language is his secret weapon and Rielle is ruining that by being unintentionally cute and starry-eyed and so precious and... Sea Witch below, he can't stand it!!!!! >:(

Azul tries so hard and here Rielle is, charming you by simply being his gullible self. The envy is so all-consuming that Azul begins to regret learning the human tongue, if only so he could rely on you and keep you close for translations like Rielle does whenever the two of you hang out. What he'd give so you could spend hours in the library with him, teaching him your language, smiling at him, helping him sound out every syllable... It's really not fair. If Rielle ever foolishly steps foot into the lounge to ask for Azul's help in winning your heart, you can be sure he is scamming him. Three days is much too generous. Azul halves that, boosts Rielle's confidence with all sorts of flowery words, and tells him he can definitely win your affections in such short time.

Unfortunately, by some miracle or curse, he does and it ends with you agreeing to visit the Coral Sea with him. Azul is in agony. T_T just what is he doing wrong? He's so heartbroken, too. Rielle has the ideal mer body, while Azul is stuck as a gross, slimy, clumsy tako (none of which is true, but to Azul that's all he'll ever be no matter how hard he tries to be better, slimmer, cooler, etc). He has to do everything he can to ruin your little trip with Rielle. He refuses to let the two of you get even closer, especially not under the sea! One day you'll be Azul's beloved and you'll live alongside him in the sea. There's no room for Rielle. In Azul's fairytale romance, it's just you and him.