#also yeah i do have a chronic problem of just running up on people and punching them to death but as you can see it works sometimes ....

[the-deadlock-south]

posting cause 1.) i made their ana tilted during this match 2.) i dishonored the rules of sniper duel but i also killed everyone on their team so i think im exonerated this time

[raguonmynieceandnephew]

"It's so unfair to the Rat Grinders that they are killed instantly and the Bad Kids get to roll death saves." SHUT UUUUUUUUUUUUP

THIS IS LONG, AND HONESTLY FOR MYSELF, SO YEAH READ IF YOU WANT

I swear to god, this discourse is going to fucking be the end of me. Idk what kind of mind boggling spell Brennan Lee Mulligan wove into the fabric of the universe that spread through the data center of Dropout in order to absolutely hijack y'all's brains when it comes to Cocklord Assgape and her ragtag of character foils but whatever it was has made you Rat Grinder stans INSUFFERABLE in this site.

The levels of treating fictional characters as if they were real people have reached a level I honestly have never anticipated, to the point of y'all actually being mad AT THE CAST for "mistreating" them and ACTUALLY QUESTION BRENNAN'S CAPACITY TO DM. Do you not get how fucking insane that is?

We can't make fun of Copperkettle, one of the most pathetic, petty and incompetent villains in D20 history anymore (even though she is masterfully written and developed to generate this reaction from us) anymore because it's bullying apparently. I saw an account flip the fuck out because someone compared her rivalry with Kristen to Drake and Kendrick's beef. KIPPERLILY IS NOT A REAL GIRL. SHE IS A MAKE BELIEVE CHARACTER IN AN IMPROV SHOW SPAWNED FROM THE BRAIN OF A 36 YEAR OLD MAN

And then what truly pissed me off the MOST about this whole hell is the fact that, being chronically online avid consumers of this goddamn show, I would think you would have but a grasp of the main cast of characters' characterization.

Why the uproar about Riz saying they should chop Oisin's head off? The same Riz who tortured that pixie from Freshman year by shooting off their finger one by one? The same Riz who murked a disarmed and unconscious Coach Daybreak without battin an eye? The same Riz who ATE THE CORPSE OF KALVAXUS?

And the whole Fabian vs Ivy debacle MY GOD, THE GIRL WAS RACIST TO HIS GIRLFRIEND AND USED HER LAST BREATH TO CALL MAZEY "OBJECTIVELY UGLY". And the funniest thing is that is not even the most unhinged shit he has ever said.

And finally, Death Save Gate: THE RAT GRINDERS ARE NOT PLAYER CHARACTERS. THEY ARE NPCS! THE RULES FOR EACH WORK DIFFERENTLY, ESPECIALLY THEM BEING BOSS ENCOUNTERS. Imagine having to still hit Ivy or Oisin 2 more times to kill them when there is 14 foot tall Porter throwing legendary actions left and right, with Jace, and other 3 spell casters + Mary Ann and KLCK up and running. It's called balancing the fucking game. Also, game masters are entitled to break, mold and make up any rules they want if they find necessary in order to service themselves and their players. IF YOU PLAY WITH ALL THESE RULES AS THEY COME, GOOD FOR YOU AND YOUR TABLE. THIS IS NOT YOUR TABLE.

Not only is Brennan DMing for his CLOSEST FRIENDS EVER, he is also shooting and producing an ENTIRE TV SHOW. So yeah, i think he knows wtf he is doing.

"But the Ratgrinders had no real development": True. But it wasn't for lack of trying from the players. Everytime they tried to know more, the dice didn't let them, so they decided to focus on the mystery. It simply do be like that sometimes.

"But they are just kids!": And so were Penelope, Dayne, Ragh, Zayn, the Bloodrush Players, Aelwyn and Biz. Why wasn't it a problem then? Because most of them were evil to some extent and were about to bring the fucking apocalypse to the world? Yeah, sounds familiar right? And the ones who were manipulated or had any sort of redemption worked their way into earning it, right? Yeah.

In conclusion, I fucking love the Rat Grinders, I truly do, and not unlike 90% of this website, i'm still holding on to hope that they have any sort of development and redemption in the last episode, because I agree, they ARE children and they WERE manipulated by Porter and Jace, but like, can we also agree that they are fucking assholes and had it fucking coming? Also, the BKs are children too y'know. SO STOP BEING FUCKING ANNOYING.

[sacredtime]

If the boys had a chronically ill mate:

Possibly ooc

David: the minute he’s told (or realizes) Angel is chronically ill he internally panics and frets about them and how they treat themselves and how he treats them. He knows Angel has been living with this for a long time knowingly or not, their usual laidback attitude and usual lack of thought towards how they take care of themselves makes him concerned. He’ll focus more on making sure Angel is accommodated for in the home and they can be as comfortable as possible in their house.

David makes sure Angel is also treated well in day to day life. They come home complaining of how they’re getting treated or how they have to go into the doctor and how shit the doctor was to them when they told the doctor their problems he’ll come in next time as scary dog privilege and back up bullshit detector since unfortunately they’ll listen to him better than Angel. David is also on top of any medications and the conditions and location of possible mobility aids. Angel will never run out of medication or misplace any aids they need. If any of their medications have bad side effects or reactions with Angel David’s written it down in detail along with when they started it. Anything needs maintenance or needs to be replaced? There’s already an appointment set before Angel can forget or procrastinate about setting one.

Asher: Asher doesn’t worry like David, Babe is responsible and has their shit together out of the two and they probably have a steady routine; and despite his goofball, carefree personality he’s extra attentive to Babe once he’s told and help them see the positive side of things. Yeah he might try to get out of things but he’ll become their personal runner for anything, he’ll even ask David to try and teach him how to cook again so then Babe doesn’t have to make meals when they’re not up to it or has to power through making meals because Asher can’t really be trusted in the kitchen. He’ll also move anything around to make things manageable for Babe, he’ll also carry them and any mobility aids around if need be any time they ask.

Asher isn’t as intimidating as David off of looks alone, he lacks David’s murderer face, but he is very much a people person and I think he’s able to guilt trip people very well. Someone talks down to Babe or touches their things he makes the person feel so bad the person can’t help but apologize and depending on the situation avoid the two. He’s also naturally Babe’s biggest hype man, things are getting hard for Babe and he can’t do anything? He’s there encourage them and then comfort them after. Physio? Asher’s right beside them being literal support and not backing out no matter how hard they hold onto him or how much of their weight Babe puts on him. Asher is also great with positive reinforcement, if Babe struggles to take or remember to take pills he has a timer and little treats to make it all worth it and bearable few minutes.

Milo: Sweetheart is pretty self sufficient and tries to work through hell and high water so when they crash, they crash hard. When Milo realizes they have a chronic illness he makes it his mission to alleviate their stress and pain. He knows sweetheart is a workaholic and they are set well in their ways no matter how unhealthy it is. He has pain killers, massages and a good show/movie on hand. Even if Sweetheart tries to keep going despite everything Milo will pull out the big guns: ✨Aggro✨. He’ll plop the cat on their lap and sweetheart can help but stay put for as long as possible no matter how frustrating it is to be kept from their work. Milo also makes sure that in sweetheart’s work frenzy they eat well so they don’t feel even worse. He has ice packs, heating pads, pain killers and if worst comes to worst his mother to help manage sweetheart’s conditions.

Milo also makes sure he that they keep any mobility aids in arms reach for them. It’s not that sweetheart doesn’t acknowledge that they need them, it’s just that it’s another thing they have to bring with them that they also can’t cloak the aid so they try to go for as long as possible without it. He’ll start to nag if they’re at home and refuse to use it. Milo will also get sweetheart excellent comfy formal wear for work so they don’t have to wear anything uncomfortable or if they have braces they can wear them comfortably under their clothes and are able to look fashionable. I feel like sweetheart carries enough respect naturally with their job and just the attitude they have on their own they don’t need Milo’s help when it comes to disrespectful people and doctors in the empowered world but both would bounce off each other excellently and damn near kill someone with their words alone.

Sam: in short he is stressed. When Sam finds out Darlin has a chronic illness they shrug it off as ‘not that bad’ and that ‘everyone’s bodies do this.’ that if Sam weren’t a vampire and immortal he’d have had so many years taken off his life by the stress of this revelation alone he’d probably be on his deathbed. In the early stages of their relationship Darlin has nothing but a sketchy ziploc bag of Tylenol/Advil and a brace and/or cane from like Walmart. He goes all in looking for their medical history to confirm what they have if it’s there and if they should be on medication and then takes them in to the doctors for various tests whether they think it’s serious or not. Sam is there no questions to make sure Darlin goes to their appointments and he makes sure Darlin gets answers and proper treatments, he is unbelievably persistent and determined to get their health back on track. He is the ultimate mother hen early on and focuses on getting Darlin into better habits while also keeping them safe from their own recklessness.

Sam later in the relationship is far less stressed since Darlin is considerably more stable. He keeps tabs on their medicine still and can’t help but monitor their condition just incase they try to hide it again as to try and not worry him. In the rare time that Darlin finally crashes Sam comes in with old man comfort as they sit on the couch under a blanket. He uses his lack of body heat as a human sized ice pack, putting his hands on the areas that ache the most and apply subtle pressure while murmuring affirmations of how they’re still strong and how he doesn’t see them as lesser or love them any less for times like this.

If darlin has a cane and Sam picks it up Fred and bright eyes joke that it’s his now and to not rush his weary old man body and a whole bunch of grandpa jokes.

[sincerely-sofie]

I just realized how crazy Opal’s family is on paper. Imagine you’re a greedy crook so you kidnap the child of the random Charmeleon lady who you know has more money than she lets on. Then you send a ransom letter and set up a dungeon so this Charmeleon woman can give you the money for her child back. It’s fool proof!

And then you find out said Charmeleon lady is not JUST a Charmeleon lady, she’s the lady who stopped the world from getting paralyzed with her friend. Okay, no problem. They probably haven’t fought in a serious battle for years. It’s still an easy job- oh she still goes into dangerous mystery dungeons and so does her previous partner Kip. Okay, startling, but you can still pull through on this- oh wait, Grovyle the time gear thief, Dusknoir the hit man, and the time traveling mythical Pokémon Celebi are also part of the family? They also care about this Charmeleon lady?? And they’d also be apoplectic about this? Okay, now you’re a lot more worried, but it’s nothing that hiring a few accomplices can’t handle! Wait. The father of the baby is the guy who actively tried to cause the planet’s paralysis? The one who managed to torment an entire town? And all have of them practically stared Dialga in the face and said “yeah I can win this/I have to win this” and actually did win? Or at least one of them caused Dialga’s insanity?

You now realize you have only a few options:

1. Lie to potential accomplices about who exactly you messed with because no one sane would look at the full implications of this and go “yeah let’s do it!”

2. Hope the Charmeleon lady won’t call for backup, and that said backup won’t find out and come anyways, therefore plan proceeds without a hitch.

3. Just give the baby back and apologize.

If you’re really greedy or desperate for money, you’d choose one of the first two options. Otherwise, you’d choose option three and run for the hills.

And that’s before said criminal realizes they kidnapped a baby legendary.

The best part of all this is that her family never talks about the craziness of their lives. So you think you're just kidnapping some rich lady's kid and then a brigade of highly competent, highly dangerous individuals come swooping in simultaneously, but the brigade is comprised of:

That old man who you saw agonizing over what cookware to buy at the market the other day and apparently knows how to corner people who are running from him with startling efficiency

A scrawny, ugly grass-type you crossed paths with at the clinic when he was getting some medicines for his chronic pain and who is also unbelievably fast and hits like a truck

A marshtomp who, despite having famously (and shamefully, according to many) retired from exploration, is arguably even more dangerous now despite his calmer occupation, because he knows everything about the ruins you’re hiding out in, including where all the traps are

The rich lady whose baby you stole and also has apparently BESTED MULTIPLE LEGENDS IN COMBAT with the help of that marshtomp we mentioned earlier, and is currently tearing her way through the countryside and rapidly closing in on your location

And two entire legends who are not only extremely capable on their own, but can destroy your psyche by showing you the exact location, date, and cause of your death (right here, right now, her disemboweling you personally with her bare hands) or locking you in a perpetual nightmare. Also that one over there is the baby's dad? Oh heck you're so dead—

AND THE BABY HERSELF IS A LEGEND WHO KEEPS TURNING INTO DIFFERENT ROCK + STEEL TYPES WHO WEIGH VARYING UNHOLY AMOUNTS AND IS SHRIEKING LOUD ENOUGH FOR ANYONE IN A 30 MILE RADIUS TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE. OH HECK YOU'RE SO DEAD.

Beyond this scenario, imagine being an older Opal who's chilling with the fam during the holidays. Everyone is having a nice time hanging out and soaking in the good company. And then your uncle who cries whenever you call him Uncle mentions that he hasn't had this good of food since before his parents kicked him out of the house when he was a kid. You don't say anything, but you're extremely confused. Did he say he was evicted from his family home as a child? Maybe you misheard...

And then your other uncle says that he got the recipe from some bidoof during that window of time that your mom didn't exist. Your aunt nods sagely and says that it was very kind of the bidoof to share such a treasured family recipe with him during that time. He probably needed the comfort food while grieving his best friend.

At this point you are very much baffled by the conversation, and then your grandfather politely asks if we can stop talking about this, because he'd rather not be reminded of the fact that they all died when he's still finishing dessert.

Your dad then chimes in by saying he'd appreciate a topic change as well. His appetite is rather soured by the reminder of his part in their deaths.

You have never been more confused. And they all just move on to chat about the weather like nothing about what they said is absolutely unbelievable. So later you go to ask your mom about it and she has the audacity to reply:

TFW you’re finally old enough to comprehend The Family Lore™️

[blushingdread]

Ok, I love everything about the Hero/Opportunist fluff! It's absolutely beautiful!

But, how about we turn to the other side of the spectrum and maybe explore the potential for absolutely gut wrenching angst that this ship has.

Because I think Hero is a pretty forgiving guy, but old habits die hard for Oppy, and I can see this whole thing going downhill very quickly.

There are so many ways for this to go downhill

Like, when they all get separated from the Long Quiet and can go off and be individuals, it's only then that Mr. "I can't hate me, I love myself" realizes that he's the only person who does PLUS remembering all of Witch and Dragon and how badly the first worked out and how much the second has royally pissed off many of the voices (and remembering those few times he was genuinely looking out for everyone)

If he had realized Hero's crush before said character development, he'd pull a Wraith on Hero and try and worm his way into second command. Hero wouldn't be like crying how could you hurt, he knew this would happen. He just kinda feels like shit. He's already depressed and tried from remembering eveything, the only comfort he can remember from the worst time of his life is a terrible person, oh and also he needs to fight him off with a stick to keep him away from positions of power. He's just exasperated and midly resentful, but not even that much bc well... it's in the Opportunist's nature. Everyone saw this coming

Then, when Oppy finally hits his character development the only person who used to like him even a little and much to their chagrin greets him with a deep sigh and a "What." Leaving straight up all alone. Which I'm sure will not have lasting effects on him. He tries to cling harder and becomes a more frantic version of himself. Character arc speed run by having literally the worst thing that character can imagine, happening (being unanimously unwelcome and scorned)

Post starting the awkward hanging out phase, Hero would also be expecting at least a little backsliding but wouldn't take it too hard because Oppy committed to trying to be a better person and sounded genuinely sincere (when his lies are so obvious you could spot them outerspace). Honestly, it would only bother him if it lasted beyond Hero gently telling him that he's acting like a weasel, and that makes people not like him. I think Hero would force them to take a break if that ever happened because it would imply that Oppy was starting to see him as a mark, and he's not letting that become a full problem. Setting boundaries, ya know. The break would likely cause Oppy to immediately snap out of it, simply bc its, as I've mentioned, the exact opposite of what he wants and clearly that just made things worst and he won't do that again. He's not stressed stressed because he knows Hero is still there for him, but it is one hell of a wake-up call. No more bullshit, prommy (<- lying, even if he becomes a better person, there will always be bullshit

If Oppy FULLY backsided in the awkward talking phase, I think Hero would just feel sorry for him. Like, yeah, it hurts that he did that, and yeah, this sucks. But just. Do you know when Broken calls Skeptic a poor little voice? That's Hero rn. Like. You just can't do it, can you? That's sad

When their dating is when all the strong hurt happens. Hero's expectations are no longer at Princess and the Dragon for Oppy, which means he has actual trust to ruin. Insane. Least likely time for him to catch the chronic backstabber bug again, but if he did? If it's small, Hero would gently lead Oppy away and ask him why he's falling back on old survival and coping mechanisms. Are you good, babe? If it's BIG, then it's more like, "Of course you can't change." Where Hero gets more depressed that he got invested into something that maybe wasn't even real, or if it was real that wasn't important enough to stop him, and Oppy realizes that he just fucked up his only close genuine relationship (or his back to full weasel mode)

If Oppy had a genuinely good explanation, they could start all over and built trust again with the understanding that this wasn't happening a third time and that Hero definitely hasn't forgotten. If Oppy had REALLY good, like super good explanation, he'd be forgiven, with some hurt remaining. If he doesn't, then it's over. They can be cordial. Friends at most that's it.

Hero would eventually pull himself up and move on, Oppy would NOT, at least for a long time and even then I still think he'd be a little *paws at Hero* plz like me again

[alpaca-clouds]

The Pain Scale is kinda useless

Yes, this has to do with neurodiversity. But also about general disabilities, about sexism and racism and other things.

I spend a lot of time last week in hospital, because I had a biking accident last week and was in the ER, as well as going to two check ups, the last one earlier today. And there I once again realized how useless the painscale is.

See, the entire idea of the pain scale is that you should tell doctors the pain you are in on the scale of "no pain" to "worst pain imaginable". But... the thing is that this runs into several problems:

How bad the worst pain imaginable is varies a lot depending on what the worst pain someone has ever experienced is.

People, who have to fight chronic pain, generally have a very shifted pain scale.

A lot of neurodiverse, especially a lot of autistic people, have problem with interoception - so actually telling what they and their body feel. And this can at times include pain.

And then of course there is the issue that because of a lot of people who genuinely just at the moment are experiencing their worst pain imaginable, even though for someone else it might just be a 5 or 6, makes doctors always like "Yeah, sure" when someone arrives and tells them "yeah, I am at a 9". While also saying: "So, its not that bad," when someone arrives saying "Yeah, I am at a 4 or 5?"

Just two examples for me. Earlier last year I had done something to my back and I was in so severe pain that I barely could move. But of course I did not call the ambulance, but had my roomie bring me to the hospital. So, I hobbled into the ER there, and when they asked me about my pain, I was like "8 to 9?" And they were like: "Oh, you came here on your own, it could not have been that bad."

Another one was last week. You should know, that as a teen, I had a really, really bad internal infection, with really the most horrible pain imaginable. Like, "I was screaming until they gave me morphium" bad. So, trying to focus on how my body was feeling, I came to the conclusion: "4 or 5?" And the doctor was like: "Well, than it cannot be so bad." Welp, psych. I ended up having a fracture. And the doctor just looked at me like: "... How can you still move?" And I was just: "Well, I know much worse pain."

And it should be noted. I have had several fractures during my life and... I never considered the pain of a fracture as that extreme. I do not know whether it is because of messed up interoception or something. But yeah. I move around quite fine with a fracture.

Really, I kinda feel like even for doctors it is not really the most useful evaluation tool. Because I see a lot of doctors go "Well, it is not that bad that you need treatment" if you are telling them a number smaller than 5, but as soon as you go above 7, they basically go: "Press X to doubt".

And that is without going into the problems of sexism, racism and the like. Because when a woman talks about her pain, doctors will go like: "She is just very sensitive." Meanwhile if the person is not white they will also assume other things. And of course men in general often are made to underplay their pain, to be ruff and manly.

Don't get me wrong. I know why the pain scale exists. But... I do not think it is very useful as it is right now for the reasons named above.

[min0uet]

wait if you started playing isat what do you think of it ? :O im considering playing it but i need an opinion 🙂‍↕️👍

i'm not that far in so take all opinions with a grain of salt ok 👍

gameplay wise very good so far i think. all combat is based on rock paper scissors which is funny but also makes things really easy to remember. also despite the pitfalls of timeloop gameplay, a bunch of different systems are set up to prevent you from going crazy trying to remember what you haven't done this time or where that one key was etc. story wise again i'm not that far in but up to this point it's been pretty intriguing i think. i love the worldbuilding we've gotten so far and i love my party members. there's smth wrong with these people and by god i'll get to the bottom of it no matter how many times i have to die

ok now this is a super personal min thing so your mileage may vary, but a few recent video games i've played have had characters talk in a very specific "the writers have tumblr accounts for sure" type of way that for SOME reason annoys me. there's nothing really wrong with it, it just rubs me the wrong way and it turns me off from wanting to keep playing although i could not tell you why. [sample type dialogue: "i'm being bullied by a preteen? please advise?"]

not going to name what those other games are since they were all really well liked on tumblr, but anyway; the reason i bring this up is because ISAT also does this but for some weird reason it actually doesn't annoy me this time! the characters all feel like real people to me which was always the main problem with the dialogue, and i'm genuinely excited to find out more about them and save us all from a horrible death. also they're all transgender.

TL:DR the whole time i was out at a concert this evening i was just thinkin about getting home and loading the game up again. probably the best min recommendation you can get since i have a chronic problem with continuing and finishing video games. isat is on sale on steam for 20% off rn so yeah i'd grab it

EDIT: and the soundtrack is great imo. very important considering how long you have to listen to these songs while you run around

[tellmegoodbye]

Look, I finally made a banner for this!

I have a bunch for y'all this week, so buckle up. We've got two Carlos songs, two TK songs, and one Tarlos song.

Fear - Blue October

The beauty is I'm learning how to face my beast Starting now to find some peace Set myself free, yeah

Today, I don't have to fall apart I don't have to be afraid I don't have to let the damage consume me My shadow see through me

'Cause fear in itself Will reel you in and spit you out Over and over again Believe in yourself And you will walk

These lyrics have always felt very raw to me (as is the case for many Blue October songs) and I specifically love this one for Carlos.

He said in his vows that he lived his life with so much fear, and that TK was the key that unlocked him, but he also had to do that work himself. He had to learn how to be comfortable in his own skin and let himself be free, and I think this song speaks to that journey.

Burning Bright - Shinedown

I feel like there is no need for conversation Some questions are better left without a reason And I would rather reveal myself than my situation Now and then I consider my hesitation

I wonder if the things I did were just to be different To spare myself of the constant shame of my existence And I would surely redeem myself in my desperation Here and now I'll express my situation

The more the light shines through me I pretend to close my eyes The more the dark consumes me I pretend I'm burning bright

Carlos, my beloved, our chronically avoidant king.

This song is about about putting on a mask. Carlos has done this for so long that he's grown comfortable with hiding his feelings from others, and he's afraid of what will happen when he's honest with people.

Easier to Run - Linkin Park

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

If I could change, I would take back the pain I would retrace every wrong move that I made

It's easier to run Replacing this pain with something numb It's so much easier to go Than face all this pain here all alone

This is one of my favorite TK songs! These lyrics are a great representation of his self-destructive tendencies and the guilt he feels when he hurts the people he loves.

Unlovable - Diamante

Is there anyone left to believe? Is there any good still left in me? I keep slipping further underneath I just want a love that never leaves Thought I had a heart of gold Everything I touch turns to stone Is it my fault I always end up alone?

Well, maybe I'm just difficult Maybe I'm impossible Maybe I'm just one step over the edge You're one foot out the door Maybe I'm emotional Too much to handle Maybe I'm unlovable

All of those times TK pushed Carlos away was because he was scared of being hurt again. He carries this underlying anxiety with him that he's always going to be the one that's the problem.

Heavenly - Broadside

I love the sound of your voice on the back of my neck when were tangled up in each other And I love the nights we spend, where the hours blend and were still hidden under the covers

I must be dreamin' heavenly, you are my remedy I want you to bury me in your reverie

TK and Carlos are just really into each other! No other explanation needed.

Tags!

@strandnreyes @thisbuildinghasfeelings @lemonlyman-dotcom @carlos-in-glasses @goodways

@heartstringsduet @carlos-tk @literateowl @herefortarlos @welcometololaland

@nancys-braids @captain-gillian @bonheur-cafe @honeybee-taskforce @paperstorm

and anyone else who would like to join!

[ang3l-core]

Way past exhausted

Yeah I wish that I could get more sleep cuz I know that right now if I could just let me give myself a little bit it would probably would work some wonders but I don't think that you know for me just exactly how hard it is

I feel like I'm running on fumes most of the time just to keep this body, yeah just to keep on functioning

I'm kinda mad in a way that this is only vessel that I have and that I ever will and I have no spares for it so I can't just up and abandon it

I would probably would never be able to even keep it working without a schedule

Cuz if I had maybe just took a nap or ended up wanting to go to bed early I could miss the deadline to give it all the fluids, artificial foods and medicines that are now apart of my everyday regimen to make sure that I don't end up in even worse shape than this

And trust me I would protest but hey, god made the rules I didn't

So now all I have to do is just keep on figuring out how to live my life this way

So I'll stay up just to make sure that I take my heart medication just so I don't wake up a dehydrated tachycardic mess

And then maybe my nurse won't look at me so sad when she sees my bad vitals in the morning and then looks back at me to smile and say "don't worry it's okay, we'll just try again and hopefully it might be better the next day"

One thing that I hate most about having my chronic illness is that through every part of it I feel everything

Even right now and I know that I must also be a little extra tired and weak because I know that overnight that I didn't get to but I should've let my immune system do what every night it's supposed to do

I didn't get to give it the little extra rest that it really needs to keep on going like this and repair itself and keep me straight up so I can do the things I'm supposed to do

But it feels like I really have little choice cuz I feel way worse when I fall asleep a little bit earlier at the time when I'm actually feeling like I want to and then I'll have hours go by and I forget that I'm going without the stuff I'm supposed to take and then it makes all of my problems even worse

So yeah it gets kinda frustrating when it's like "damned if you do, damned if you don't"

I have alot of up and down, on and off days

I guess there's never gonna be this whole "normal functioning system" that's gonna completely perfect for me to hold my expectations to and it's kinda fucked that even probably if there is a way that I somehow do I can't really expect perfection when my body isn't even all working perfectly too

So I guess for now I might take the slight insomnia if it means that maybe for a few hours until I have to take all my things again I can pretend that I'm almost actually "normal" when I get to my baseline again before I get back to the same way I was that crushes all my hopes for that and makes me feel like I may break again

Or need to go to a hospital

But that's just how it goes health is a luxury and not everything is easy for everyone

It just sometimes seems like it is sometimes for the certain people who like to talk about things to you cuz they don't actually know what it's like to live life inside your body

Cuz it seems like people always forget to remember that experiences are different so don't expect everyone what's your face the same easiness or difficulty to live life the same way that you do

And I know that explain that to everyone isn't always easy cuz you can always make people listen and understand

But really all they need to know is we're both different you're not me and I'm not you

Cuz I really get that feeling like you're wasting your time getting tired trying to overexplain yourself about something sucks

You know I think that's why also I feel like sometimes I choose just not to talk to people about my moments when I'm in pain or when I feel like I might be suffering and I'll at times just stay silent but I also feel like I shouldn't have to though

It shouldn't have to matter what you're talking about, you talking about how you're feeling while you're going through what you're going through is valid

I feel just like that's how some of alot of us feel when we're going through these things and we don't feel like we're being heard or we're dismissed and I think that that's why by now I can see why the most of us right now just feel like we're way past exhausted

[sweetorangepoptart]

this is a bit random of a question but as a parent, about how often do you deal with vomiting kids? i love kids and want to have some in the future, but i am not super great about people puking and i know little kids are germ sponges 😅 is there anything to do that makes dealing with it easier?

Oh heyyyy I love answering random questions about how I deal with various parenting things.

I'd say we have stomach bugs run rampant in our house 2-3 times a year. However there are quite a few factors that contribute to this. I'm cutting it for discussion of bodily fluids.

I work, so the kids have always gone to sitters/in-home daycare before they were school age, so they've been exposed to germs from pretty early on. also, there's FOUR OF THEM. Now that they're all in school, that's four different classrooms and four different pools of germs for the kids to bring home and spread to each other.

But all my all my kids are generally healthy. Immune compromised kids or kids with chronic illnesses might deal with worse.

I have one kid with a sensitive gag reflex who has been known to throw up because she got a hair in her mouth or didn't chew her food well 🙃

So yeah... Having kids=dealing with puke way more often than anyone would like. But there's lots of factors that might mean more or less puking in any children of your own you might have someday!

How I deal with it practically: Masks and gloves for clean up. Paper towels and disinfecting wipes for hard surfaces, carpet cleaner, vinegar and baking soda for carpet and upholstery. Clothes get washed on the high heat sanitary laundry cycle. I will admit I have thrown away items that were just not worth the effort to clean. (Pillows, stuffed animals no one is particularly attached to. that kind of thing)

Sick kid gets a bucket and stays in bed, and each time they throw up I dump it, rinse it, and give everything a quick disinfecting spray.

That's after lots of trial and error over the course of 13 years, and what is easiest for us!

It's a lot to support them emotionally through illness too. Having your kid cry that they hate being sick and don't want to throw up anymore is emotionally taxing and I have to make sure my own mental health is in good enough condition to be there for them they way they need me. Admittedly my husband is better at this part. I get more into logistical problems solving/clean up mode and he gets more into comforting and commiserating.

Sick kids also means taking time off work, them missing school, more laundry, and interrupted sleep.

Did I scare you away from having kids yet? I hope not. My oldest is a teenager and she got sick but I barely had to lift a finger this time. She literally just camped out in the bathroom and texted me when she needed something. So it gets easier. Well. That stuff gets easier. Parenting a teenager comes with drastically different challenges 😅

Also uhhh if you or your partner are carrying and birthing your children... Well pregnancy nausea and vomiting is extremely common so you and/or your partner might have to deal with the realities of vomiting long before actually having a baby in your arms.

Thanks your ask and thanks for reading my word vomit about vomit 🤣🤣

If you ever want anymore info or personal experiences around pregnancy, birth, and parenting, my ask box is always open!! My career is working with new parents who are often shocked by the realities of having kids. I love helping prepare someone before they actually get pregnant.

here, have my favorite parenting comic (Even though I only have 4 kids, I feel like Jupiter sometimes)

[greenandhazy]

re: that last post, one thing I've been thinking about lately that aggravates me so much is how, at some point in my childhood, I picked up this idea that I was just never going to be good at "that stuff" because I was fat--with that stuff being, like... non-sports fitness.

because I was good at sports. I rarely, if ever, had that experience people talk about, being picked last in gym class etc--when I was, it was very clearly because boys were picking all of the boys first, so skinny, widely-known-to-be-athletic girls were also being neglected. I played three rec league sports as a kid, knew the rules to everything we played, and genuinely enjoyed the hand-eye coordination and competitive aspects of gym class sports, so that still put me ahead of like 60% of the class.

however, I "knew" from a young age that I "just wasn't flexible." I took the goddamn presidential fitness test and just barely passed the sit and reach every year, and no one ever bothered to teach us ways to ease into it, modifications to build up our flexibility, etc. our time for class was so condensed that stretching was optional and not teacher-led. Likewise, things like weight-lifting, running, aerobics, pilates, anything that's relatively easy to get into as an adult, they were just never really offered, or at least not on a consistent basis.

and otoh I get why some people are like "doing those boring exercises makes kinds hate exercising, let them play games!" but... I don't know, reflecting back on it I think my experience of sports was that ultimately they alienated a lot of kids. ESPECIALLY once we got to be 5th grade and above, when travel sports and school teams got to be a thing and so everybody knew who was especially good at sports, and those were the kids who really got to play during class while the rest of us stood around wishing someone would pass to us so we could do something--or the kids who didn't want to play were relieved they didn't ACTUALLY have to.

and part of it was also that we did so many different things, and cycled through them so quickly, that I don't think I ever felt like I ever really improved on something during a gym class. there was no real consistency and no sense that, oh, actually, I was getting stronger/more flexible and thus it was something I could do.

but yeah. it's been something I'm thinking about a lot lately as I am going into my [thunder clap] 30s, and reading more about how oh this is when your flexibility starts to go and your joints start to hurt, and I'm kind of... angry... that I never had any of that to begin with? like, I know that I am lucky to have not had any SERIOUS health problems, no real joint issues or diagnosable chronic pain or whatever. but I am still frustrated that, in the past ~decade and a half, I have not felt like I was flexible or mobile at all and that I've often dealt with very low-level pain and stiffness that actually could have been entirely avoidable if I had not absorbed this idea that fitness was less important than athleticism, that it was something that only had to be suffered through during testing time as opposed to something we all could and should be tending to regularly.

[nylon-vintage]

"Hmm."

☓ ⁑ all below is /ooc

erm,, hi. i don't know how to do a 'good' introduction so uermm uh yeah lets like. do this. i do not know what the fuck i am doing. help.

this blog is run by @x-z0ne !! call me kir, please !!! cough anyways

also, heres a masterlist of most other coroika askblogs, courtesy of my mutual @/violethursday.

asks i will not accept

⬇︎⇩⬇︎⇩⬇︎⇩⬇︎

* anything thats like, overly sexual towards the character or just something like that in general

* please just don't be creepy ngl

* i don't really plan on building some sort of story or any plot points, so please don't try to do that for the time being

* basic criteria of shit that people don't accept on askblogs

(i might add more.)

asks i will accept, and somewhat encourage

⬇︎⇩⬇︎⇩⬇︎⇩⬇︎

* interactions with other askblogs. i love interacting like that, its pretty fun

* generic questions!! i love being boring!!

* more than one ask from the same person/spam asks that have no intention to be irritating. i don't actually mind this at all, i think its fun :3

* annoy the fuck out of vintage i don't care, its funny as hell

*PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!! GIVE ME FEEDBACK. I WANT TO IMPROVE WITH THIS ASKBLOG SHIT. GIVE ME TIPS AND ALL THAT CRAP!!

tags i will use i think. what the hell am i doing

⬇︎⇩⬇︎⇩⬇︎⇩⬇︎

general asks ➡︎ '#vin - ask'

anything ooc ➡︎ '#vin - ooc'

posts with no asks attached ➡︎ '#vin - general'

replies to other askblogs i might interact with ➡︎ '#vin - reply'

might add more here later if needed!!

some side notes

⬇︎⇩⬇︎⇩⬇︎⇩⬇︎

* please use tone tags/indicators if it feels necessary, i suck at differing tones in messages rgrgh

* i am not expecting very much from this askblog, it's simply something i'm going to do for fun.

* let me know if i shouldn't answer asks so quickly, because i do that on my main.

* asks will probably always be open, idk why this is important enough to note, but just saying

* i am not good with different personalities. vintage might be a bit, or a lot, out of character. let me know if i fuck up badly

some info about my interpretation of vintage used in this blog

⬇︎⇩⬇︎⇩⬇︎⇩⬇︎

* he gets quite emotional under the mention of skull, they're exes in my headcanons

* he's a bit gay for a specific cocky spiky haired guy, but he's in denial (hes been getting bullied alot for this its kind of obvious. sorry im a chronic doublevin believer)

* he is a bit forgetful.

* vin has a bit of a problem when it comes to eating food. he'll only eat it if it's super spicy, if it isnt spicy at all or not spicy enough he refuses to consume it. water and other beverages are exceptions

* he growls sometimes. like. animalistic growling. he taught himself how to do it a long time ago and now it's just an instinct for him to do so when he gets pissed

* double egg is a salmonling in this blog!!

* vintage has three cats, (exclusively in this askblog) named nexus, leo & army. (blame the anon who gave him that cat.)

anyways, i think thats all i need to note down?? anyways yet again, this is my first askblog, i'm going in blind. this might be fun maybe!!!

☓ ⁑ buh bye..

[profound-bouquetbird]

Hello! I saw this about another fandom and thought I would love to see it with toh, can I ask for some hcs about the modern social media pressence of them? (Any you want, but my favorites are king and the veterans but in their young version, like eda, raine and lilith) about, how they spend their time online, their favorite app, how they are on instagram?, or their texting style. Ty!

I seperated everyone so that no one gets confused :)

Edit: omg, why did this take me so long??? 😭 😭 😭

I'm so sorry you had to wait this long for your request to be posted, and I'm sorry to the seven other people in my inbox that left a request 😭

I'll try to write it as quickly as possible, but writers block is hitting me like a brick rn 😔

Eda Clawthorne!

I'd say she'd be pretty well known, has a good amount of followers

She's not famous by any means, but there are a few teasing comments from her classmates and or friends. For example: "Oh my god, is that (insert her username)! Can I get an autograph???" Y'know, stuff like that

I'd say she's chronically online, constantly quoting the latest memes and is sort of up to the trends. Would do the typical dumb dares people have made up, but is always doing them on the brink of the trends end

I'd say her favorite app is... Tiktok? Yeah, looks like she'd be obsessed with that app

Knows more about the news and global warming and all of the stuff that the adults are supposed to hear and worry about. I'd feel like she'd have multiple weird facts pop up on her FYP and would either spill the horrors of her 'fun facts' to her mother, or would run to Lilith to tell her yet another fun fact she managed to find

And as for the Instagram bit, as previously stated, she'd have quite the amount of followers. I'd feel like she would post her 'epic stunts' that she did in the backyard, you could hear a faint voice of her mom yelling her full name before she cuts the video short. Also is the type of person to post horrendous memes on her page (I am guilty of that crime 😔)

She always leaves encouraging comments on her friends Instagram posts and stuff, I feel like I should put that in

As for her texting style, it's caos. No commas, no new rows, no punctuation, no nothing. Literally texts like this

hey lilly mom said we r gonna get mcdonlds be out of UR ruum in 5 mins

She knows grammar and has the ability to type correctly, she just doesn't feel like being grammatically correct when texting. It's your problem you can't read it 😒

Lilith Clawthorne!

Is actually pretty famous... Well, at least on her other profile

She's that 'aesthetic smart girl' you see on your page that never shows her face. Also does bomb powerpoint presentations and posts them on her account (ppl eat that stuff upppp)

Eda would be the only one to know about her secret account and she swears to keep her mouth shut. Although the secret account does slip out of Edas mind often, so Lilith doesn't have to worry all that much about the word spreading

But, on her main account which she shares with her friends... It's literally just her friends. Of course, you have her sister and people she hangs out with/is cool with, as well as her club members, but thats pretty much it

On her main, she mostly posts stuff about her school and her successes, such as the awards she gets in contests of the medals/trophies she recives

Again, Eda will the the one hyping her up in her comments, but she doesn't dare to hype her up on her secret account, as to not rish accidentally spilling the beans in the comments somehow

For her favorite app... I'd have to say: 'Instagram'. I would've said Pinterest but it doesn't quite sit right with me fully... Instagram feels like a better fit

Always scrolling through reels, but also opens Tiktok from time to time (specifically to search for the memes Eda is quoting so that she isn't as confused)

Texts normally, like how you'd see people text on the daily. But, if she's mad, I can also see her writing painfully grammatically correct sentences with words that everybody forgets the meaning of

No, I'm not gonna set an example because that's too much thinking.

Raine Whispers!

Raine would be avarege in the followers count. They wouldn't be all that famous, but they also wouldn't be completely invisible

Definitely is the type of person to have their account private for a few years before toughening up and macking their account public. That was oddly specific but we'll move on

They'd mostly post selfies with their friends, of course an occasional recording of their progress with their violin as well as some bard magic tricks (like that whistling in the cup)

Doesn't get that many comments on their posts, but when they do they make sure to either like it or fully reply

Isn't as chronically online as Eda but is up to date with the memes. Is always able to quote with or continue a quote Eda began. Trends always somehow end up on their for you page when they're scrolling on Tiktok

Favorite app? Oddly enough: 'Twitter' 'X'. Loves to read the drama people have, and when there is nothing to do they just scroll onto people's accounts

And for the texting style: the perfect middle. Just enough punctuation to make it make sense, but not too formal to make it look like a business e-mail

[awellboiledicicle]

So the polycule talked me into playing Corruption of Champions under the me-bait of calling it research.

It's actually very fun, the problem is i keep having the rpg worry of "oh no i just spent 5 days looking for wood and nails, what if i miss Plot Events?" and then remembering those really only depend on me popping up with specific stat levels.

So far I have an ant wife with 25 children [and counting] building a subterranean network down the way, a monk named Jojo helping me stave off corruption while watching me try very hard to not drop shit on myself while building a house. Because he's not helping. Which, fair, he's in his anime meditation of angst. I have 6 kids with this goblin lady that keeps showing up at random. And a litter of mouse babies with a mouse girl that was like "listen i need to repopulate my village/rebuild my people and you're not a rape happy corruption beast. Help?" and i was like "ok sure" and then we became friends and i think she likes me after i helped deliver the babies. I keep trying to visit her and check on the kiddos but a ghost in the ruins is super into me and keeps intercepting me. C'mon ma'am they're all gonna think i'm skipping child support. I'm also in a relationship with a chronically ill lizard guy that's teaching me magic. A wolf lady on the guard of the only safe town i've found so far that's got severe loneliness issues that she drowns in alcohol [we talked about it, and i told her she doesn't have to change things if she doesn't want to, but being aware of why she leans on drink is important]. A catgirl i'm slowly trying to train into being a guard so she can have literally any life that isn't "i live in an alley behind the pawn shop and live off stolen milk". She's sweet but also slow going on the authority learning because she's seen the other side and yeah. I wish her story was more "and you can come adventure with me c:" instead of "listen, the only skills you got are be a cop because all that takes is hitting things".

Also i found a gargoyle that was abused by her former master and has trauma around sex. I take my time to reassure her and learn about her and help her clean up the cathedral she's in.

Also there's a bunny dancer that's zero'd in on me but since i keep forgetting to go to the bar i've seen her 1 whole time. Also there's a cupcake seller that i'm 90% sure is supposed to just be nymph pinkie pie.

All this is very fun but also i'm sitting here wondering how the reality warping that lets you travel around easily effects the environment. And how the time dilation wrapped into the pregnancy kink would effect the ecology. Because if a goblin takes like 3 days max to have two kids, and i can fuck more than one at a time, that means there should be hella goblins. The game mentions, however, there are factors that curb the population but doesn't say what. Am deeply curious. Also deeply curious what importing the ant wife from the desert is going to do to the forest, but that's more long term.

Also there's like. dungeons? to clear and explore? but i keep being very sure i'm gonna die if i go in there so every time i see one in like. the desert the sphynx is like "you gonna go in?" "maybe next time" "you wanna fuck?" "nah im looking for nails"

I also keep trying to fight the antlion monsters. Which just leads into it cooing that we're not so different because my character isn't 100% Big Man Of Fuck Mountain Masc, before knocking me up with eggs. Which is fine, but i can only assume my pants are a fucking lost cause at this point.

I also befriended the giant turtle lady in the lake.

A narrative running trend i'm noticing is a wild amount of loneliness and isolation brought on by how others react to peoples bodies. The violence of the actual demon invasion is one thing, but the knock on effects of how its changed the biology and culture of the remaining survivors is very interesting. I'm also noticing a heavy amount of "so the environment is also fucked up" in terms of literal and figurative pollution.

But what deeply keeps hooking me is that like... the premise begins with "If you, Chosen Yearly Sacrifice, do not enter this portal and Die Fighting, bad things will happen to the rest of us." Not demons, not monsters, not some incursion of horrible energy... just like. People getting sick. Crops failing. Bad weather. Which sure, could be related, but it's a much more mundane and expected-- grounded, i suppose-- occurrence. Meanwhile people on the other side of the portal are just like "listen, if its not trying to fuck me or kill me on sight, maybe i can talk with it bc goddamn" bc that's the every day for them. Its not even particularly shocking a danger to them anymore. Bad, certainly horrible, but very much a "yes this could happen" in the same way running out of water in the desert is an assumed danger. A matter of time sort of thing.

I know the creator most definitely did not intend someone to sit there and ponder, while doing fifty explore rounds for nails, the sociological impact of this whole thing. But i'm me and the game only manages to make me horny a few times every couple hours so i gotta ponder something.

Also my character's name is Fifi. He's very canine in appearance while also managing a v long beard and shaggy hair because i keep forgetting the barber exists. I forget many things exist. It's a problem.

[clatterbane]

I am feeling greatly vindicated about now, in a way that I am very aware is probably verging on bitchiness on this end too. But, some people just affect me that way.

What do we have here, through the portal? Starting cortisol levels toward the lower end of normal for that time of day. And also well within the normal range? The cortisol-stimulating hormone which is what goes screwy and gets overproduced to make your adrenal glands pump out too much cortisol, if the problem is on the pituitary end.

The point of this overzealous testing?

The dexamethasone suppression test is used to diagnose endogenous Cushing syndrome by assessing the lack of suppression of the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis in response to exogenous corticosteroids.[1] The first use of dexamethasone for diagnosing Cushing syndrome was in 1960 by Liddle; he developed a test based on the non-suppressibility of endogenous cortisol production in Cushing syndrome versus the physiological suppression in nonaffected individuals achieved by dexamethasone.[2]

So yeah, if you give someone even a single dose of dexamethasone (never mind the sledgehammer 8-dose multiday protocol they hit my endocrine system with!), their body should cut way back on its own cortisol production to compensate. If the regulating mechanism is borked, it will just keep pumping out the ACTH and then a bunch of cortisol anyway.

What happened in this case?

Whoosh!

Straight down within the expected time frame, from totally fine levels starting out. The usual low single-dose test would have more than done it, without fucking my blood sugar up or giving me its own version of the Prednisone Crazies to anywhere near the same extent. They are apparently looking for at least a 50% reduction in levels, and we have more than met that goal!

(Yeah, they are close enough drugs to have similar effects. I've unfortunately had to take courses of prednisone multiple times, mostly for particularly nasty allergic skin reactions. But dexamethasone is stronger stuff and the effects apparently last longer. 👿 I am very relieved to be done taking the shit as of like 6:30 this morning. Probably a few more days of lingering fun to look forward to.)

It was a dramatic enough drop during that first day, that the nurse actually went ahead and reassured us this morning that things were obviously perfectly fine there when I went in for the second steroided-up blood draw.

Gotta say the lab was quick! They drew the samples just before 8:30 again today, and the results were up on the portal when I logged in somewhere around noon. That clinic is right in the university medical center complex, but still.

They took so much blood the first time because the endo also decided to throw in All The Tests while she was at it. Including a bunch of the diabetes-standard ones that she already ordered before the recent routine check-in appointment where she sprung this xenophobic concern-trolling bullshit on me in the first place. Also got expanded kidney and liver panels, what seemed like every other major hormone in my body checked, and a whole new battery of tests prompted by the chronic anemia. A lot of those repeats of what primary care just recently ordered (and she could see the results of) after she kicked that over to their side. At least it was just two tubes for the cortisol and ACTH today.

But yeah, at least nothing out of that huge battery of tests came back looking weird in unexpected ways! I am still slightly anemic, my sodium and potassium levels are still running just barely under range, and a couple of kidney indicators are still looking borderline wonky in a very diabetic way.

(Which seems to be staying pretty stable for years now, not even far off enough that anyone has seemed to feel like it's needed treatment--and it's frankly a miracle that my renal function isn't way more thrashed than that, after the number of years of earlier negligence and uncontrolled blood sugar. Ruined kidneys was honestly one of my big nagging worries while all of that was still going on.)

Anyway, one thing I WAS actually glad and somewhat relieved to see while scrolling through that huge mess of reports:

Because it was primarily a pituitary prolactinoma that I got removed back in high school. And especially with the healthcare mess back in the US? I am not aware of that ever having been checked again within the past 30 years. My family ended up uninsured within a year or two of the surgery, and the last follow-up probably happened in 1992-93. The symptoms thankfully did go away over time--along with the freaking cortisol side bonus staying distant history!

(None of which was the endo aware of when she decided I looked weird enough to constitute a medical problem, I just can't restrain myself from emphasizing again.)

The little fuckers do have a distressing tendency to come back sometimes. But yeah, BTDT and I am pretty confident that I would have noticed if that were causing problems. But, I am still glad for the confirmation that my prolactin levels are fine now.

This whole thing was, indeed, uncalled for. And I am still perversely gratified to be proven right about this, when it's been taking up so much rent-free space in my head. (Thanks, PTSD!) And also to see that I am honestly looking healthier across a whole slew of bloodwork measures than I was half-afraid I might.

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

Saw your answer yesterday, about how you don't feel like the TLH characters are teenagers, except for Lucie. AND I AGREE. I still need to reread TLH to have a coherent thought, but from what I remember of the books, the way the characters reacted to certain situations felt very mature for their age. I'm currently rereading the series in publication order, and I can 100% tell that the TLH characters are more aware, and solve their problems in a more "grown-up" way. They have adults issus, and they fix them in a very adult way (except for the miscommunication trope, but that's the YA genre). I don't know how to explain it, but when I was reading TID, they have heavy issues to deal with , like, accepting death, and dealign with chronic illness, the trauma of being the reason your sibling died, and the torture Tessa went through, etc. but how they act around these stuffs is still very childish sometimes, which makes sense because they are 16 and 17 years old. One of the example that comes to mind, is when Will storms out of Jem's room, when Jem was going to tell Tessa about his illness, or him leaving Tessa wondering the halls of the Institute the first night, just because she pissed him off. Like, that's very childish, and I don't see any TLH character do that, except for Lucie (when she got pissed at Cordelia in Chot, and had their fight). Personally, I never minded Lucie in the books because for me she was the only teenager character in the series. We read that she was very well sheltered and loved, and never had to deal with big problems like the others (abuse, alcoholism, neglect, grooming etc.), and most of her reactions to situation (running away to save Jessie) and not thinking of the consequences, reminds me of the some of the rushed decisions the TID trio took (getting engaged at 16 because Jem is dying, Jem becoming a silent brother because he was scared of what was gonna happen to Will and Tessa, and Will rushing to save Tessa on a horse in the middle of night, with zero back ups).

This turned to be a long rant, just to say that James, Cordelia, Anna, Alastair and Matthew are way older than their ages in the series.

"...when I was reading TID, they have heavy issues to deal with , like, accepting death, and dealign with chronic illness, the trauma of being the reason your sibling died, and the torture Tessa went through, etc. but how they act around these stuffs is still very childish sometimes, which makes sense because they are 16 and 17 years old."

YES!!!!! This is why I roll my eyes when people say "it's just the historical setting." The TID characters DO feel their age, maybe like 18 or 19 if we're going to be pedantic about it, lol.

"We read that [Lucie] was very well sheltered and loved, and never had to deal with big problems like the others (abuse, alcoholism, neglect, grooming etc."

Honestly, I think this is why Lucie feels so out of place in the story to me. I very much view TLH above all else as an exploration of trauma and how it sits and festers in the space between people and those they love. But with Lucie, there's very little deeper impact for her story, and it makes her appear extremely frivolous. And also the way that she behaves toward Cordelia, who is going through some deep shit, makes me want to rip my hair out. I think you're right about her acting her age, and honestly I might be less annoyed with her if she were in a novel that felt YA - but compared to everyone else, I'm like, "why is this preteen having a temper tantrum?" Lol. But yeah, I think that you're correct that she acts her age, and perhaps I'm unfair to shirk her for it, but my point stands.

I do feel weird likening her to Herongraystairs, though - a torture survivor, someone who's literally in the process of dying, and someone who's going through the daily trauma of having to be someone else. Like, I get their decisions. Especially Jessa engagement. Let that bro carve out a little happiness for himself before he meets the reaper at 17, lmao.

This turned to be a long rant, just to say that James, Cordelia, Anna, Alastair and Matthew are way older than their ages in the series.

Oh, yeah. They're definitely core offenders, but I also think that Thomas, Grace, and Christopher feel older than they are. Especially Thomas, he reads as like a clumsy adult to me which is Relatable. But Grace feels so in place in this trauma exploration, and I feel like Thomas and Christopher occupy unique spaces in it too both as traumatized individuals and as those who spur healing in two of the most traumatized characters in the narrative. Maybe one day I'll unpack every TLH character's place in the character study of trauma that I view the series as, that might be a fun little essay. Because that's why I love TLH so much, and why I love the miscommunication so much.

ANYWAY YEAH thanks for this ask <3