#also why it is only Tuesday
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Boobies
#gojo Satoru#every week follows the same trend of#working my way to experiencing peak dissociation at the middle of the week#and then immediately after during the weekends being like#AERHRHFKSKSJDKA GIVE ME GOJO#and during the week i am chipping away at a piece half dead inside like: uh huh yea mhm#i feel stupid and foolish#like a country bumpkin lured in by the big man#and then my organs are harvested for the rich to eat or use or gawk at#also why it is only Tuesday
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i LOVE how you draw twink krakoa charles he's so...... twink...... your art is amazing
thank you so much !!!! i have a simple vision in mind whenever i draw krakoa charles next to erik, really:
it's significant he looks like a push pin next to erik it's infinitely better this way..
#xmen#xmen comics#krakoa#cherik#professor x#magneto#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#erik magnus lehnsherr#max eisenhardt#snap sketches#and by 'better' i mean funnier. if i cant look at charles and look at erik and go 'good christ thats a lad' i drew something wrong#the size difference is def a part of why drawing krakoa's fun i refuse to lie#like i do like drawing charles a bit. 'stockier' when it comes to tas- NOT A LOT just a lil- and other comic eras but this is Also good#its the drastic difference in shapes and silhouette ig#anyway ! tomorrows halloween thats diabolical because im gonna be busy all day but itll be fun :) <- ignore the back-to-back exams#PLUS I GET TO PLAY SHADOW GEN THAT NIGHT. i like shadow hi thats a very important fact about me#i ordered the special preorder box and it only got to my place tuesday and i only got time to go over there on weekends#gonna be the best hallloween ever ..... also i guess im getting sushi with my brother or whatever but anyways#later everyone ! please enjoy throwable charles while im gone
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So there was a Callowmoore question on 4SD which has got people talking and since nobody will ask me about it I'm gonna get it out of my brain anyway.
For someone on 4SD as frequently as Taliesin, Callowmoore questions are rare and I think that partly comes from us fans not wanting to try and steer him but also because his answers tend to be complicated. He's quite plain with other stuff, but a lot also gets offered into interpretation when it comes to Ashton and Fearne.
And granted, we Callowmoores would love for him to pull a Liam and just up and say Ashton has feelings for her, but I think we all know that's not Tal's way; aside from the nuggets of wisdom, killer one-liners and unique homebrews, we tend to love Tal's characters for their actions and expressions, some of which subtle and rewarding to those paying attention. For this reason I have had to mull over this one minute answer for most of my day and figure out what I think he means by it, like blue curtains in a book.
To note though, 'I think' is the operative term, but I also don't believe that Tal has left Callowmoore better or worse by his response.
One of the interesting things I want to point out is that my interpretations are observing the divide between Taliesin's words and his roleplaying; it is not to say that Tal is being dishonest in his answers, but I also see it as the answers are what Ashton thinks and his roleplay is how they feel.
So no, Ashton isn't 'precious' about Fearne wandering off when sleeping beside each other, if she said no or came back safely it wouldn't have bothered them, and it's fair for Ashton to have preferred Fearne to have woke them up. And yet that doesn't deny the reaction Ashton had waking up to find her gone and fearing that she's in danger, and not there to help her; the panic, the anger, the impatience are all clear and instinctive reactions Ashton is having that imply that her being with them is important. They're not precious about Fearne waking up and leaving the bed before they wake, and yet they'll still smile upon waking and finding that she's still there.
The 'Adventurers with Benefits' is one of two comments I can see being used maliciously against shippers, but it's worth reminding that on the last Callowmoore question Tal was asked, he mentioned that Ashton doesn't believe that someone would love them. Ashton feels unlovable, and yet they still ask for intimacy with Fearne, leaning further into their connection but also not pressuring her into commitment. It's also worth pointing out that this is still a slow burn, even Jester questioned whether her feelings for Fjord were legitimate or a romanticized fantasy at one point, and Ashton is not privy to Fearne's feelings for them. Ashton frames it as Adventurers with Benefits because they don't allow themselves to entertain the idea of Fearne reciprocating feelings for them, and yet their impulse to kiss her before absorbing the shard, to frequently engage in physical contact at a growing rate, to playfully steal and share each other's clothing, the desire to defend her from harm or anyone that might have ulterior motives, and to willingly do anything and everything just for her to smile in their direction again, that paints more of a picture than just benefits.
Which finally gets us to Ashton's theory of love. Tal mentions that Ashton believes that love is 'wanting to trust somebody, but not trusting them'. Immediately: No, haters, I don't think this means Ashton doesn't trust Fearne, nor do I think it means that Ashton trusts Fearne so they don't love her. Ashton trusts all the Hells (well, maybe not Braius since they just met), but Fearne is special to them in a different way, they've already platonically said that they loved her when they first were using their titan forms. In addition, this could be an elaboration of the last time Tal brought up Ashton's opinion of Love on the post-shard Callowmoore question: 'love is ignorance and adorableness'. This is another thing that can develop, elaborate and/or change over time, but at the current moment Ashton's interpretation of love can come from environment; Imogen wants to trust Laudna but can't wholly trust her given Delilah, but even Ashton can see that they love each other. Tal also mentioned that Ashton is not very experienced in relationships - which kinda plays into my belief that Ashton and Fearne, while have had relationships, haven't had deep romantic feelings or proper intimacy before, which makes them discovering it with each other more special - so their understanding of love can only exist on what they assume it's like.
And yet what if you reworded the phrase in the same spirit? 'Love is trusting someone wholeheartedly even with nothing to reassure it', there have been many a time something looked to go south and faith was put in another anyway; the shard may be a bad example because it did go wrong but even though the red flags were there Ashton upon completing the process said 'thank you for trusting me', when Fearne took the shard Ashton was a bag full of panic their experience meant they couldn't trust that the shard wouldn't be just as bad for Fearne, and yet they still wanted to trust that Fearne would succeed. Ashton couldn't trust that whenever Fearne was wild shaped, cornered by Otohan, or taken away by Ira on Ruidus that she'd come back safe, and yet still wanted to trust that she would, Ashton couldn't confirm that Fearne wasn't a Doppelganger in Nanna Mori's trust trial - even when FCG and Imogen suspected it was her - and yet they still wanted to trust that it was her. Ashton's view on love may not be entirely right but it's not entirely wrong either, what is blind faith if not ignorant and adorable? Even with their interpretation, Ashton has put plenty of faith in Fearne even when the risk was high.
In conclusion, Ashton's behaviour towards Fearne do often imply a complexity rather than a discrepancy to Tal's 4SD statements, that maybe Ashton's emotions and subconscious are not in sync with their self-doubt driven thoughts, perhaps it is the way Ashton tempers their feelings to try and not get hurt by them or cause Fearne to get hurt by them again. Ashton's apology to her post-shard made a point of noting how she means a lot to them, and how hurting her was one of the worst things they have done, and as they work towards self-improvement and self-discovery, there will likely be a point where self-realisation comes into play too, and they can understand why what they're thinking differs to how they're feeling.
Again, this is all interpretation, speculation and observation, one that like the core statements doesn't add or subtract but fills in some gaps either way. Ashton's feelings are a complicated matter, which is likely why Tal entices and creates such speculation with a complicated answer. Right now Ashton clearly does care for Fearne and share a special relationship that's regrowing after suffering tension, loss and fear, blooming back into trust, joy and comfort, but save 5 Disney Greek Muses backing him up in a Gospel song they're not just gonna out and say they're in love
And Yet...
#critical role#cr3#cr3 spoilers#4sd spoilers#4sd#4 sided dive#callowmoore#ashton greymoore#fearne calloway#rockwild#fearne x ashton#ashton x fearne#taliesin jaffe#I know it's an essay but I don't get asks or chats and my brain just screams 'ask meeeee!'#Tal wouldn't be Tal if he wasn't keeping us on our toes but also c'mon Tal!#stuff like this is why I'm an anxious mess every BH Thursday and every Tal/Ashley on 4SD Tuesday#you don't understand I would chew my left arm off for them and I'm left handed!#to think I only peered into CR for some storytelling tips and a carton of milk and now look at me XD#but anyway one of them just needs to drink the courage I am starving here#and Sam's clearly starving too if he's made Braius to speed up all the ships#ofc continue the slow burn but also like be flirty about it? Make out a few times#make some love-a to burn Ludinus and/or Zathuda to a crisp?#did I mention AND YET#tag reader bonus: Fearne wears another one of Ashton's belts around her thigh for when things are getting spicy~
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I've been thinking about how Peem is the narrator and the main character like @jojotichakorn said here and that is something that permeates the show as whole, from its structure to even things like the music, the colors, and the background (ok that last one might be me overthinking shit, but you get it). There is absolutely no denying that we get this story though Peem, he is the first one to talk to us, and he is the one that often reacts to things and people with us.
However, I think it is interesting that from what I've seen (and I'm aware I'm incredibly biased on this point), most of us would think of Phum as our representation in the story. Peem comes to us from within this insanely close beautiful friend group, and it's Phum the one that gets to be introduced to it, just like us.
Phum is the one that decides to follow Peem around, and because of that he gets to slowly discover love and warmth and friendship. Kind of like us, deciding to listen to Peem's story and getting all the beautiful things we've gotten because of it.
#we are the series#idk if this makes sense but yeah. basically we are works if you fall in love with Peem. thats the key element (im only half joking)#as you can tell. every day we get closer to ep 16 the sappier i get. im so gonna write a sad goodbye message on tuesday#also anyone wants to hear me rant about how peem represents nature and thats why theres just so much of it in this show#ita not very structured but look im an engineer not a literature student im doing my best
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Guess who now 10 years from being 30 flirty and thriving!! ME
To celebrate this momentous occasion, requests are now open!!
Feel free to suggest anything you like! This community, and all the people in it, have played such a large part in me making to this age so I wanna give back to you guys as well :D
#im finally old now#time to get even weirder >:]#also why does my bday have to be on a TUESDAY#homophobic tbh#also I may not be able to get to everyone just to put it out there#im only one very little guy
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my bestie turns 21 tomorrow!!! so in other words we’re ALL 21 tomorrow
#bruhh also don’t believe a word that comes out of my mouth#i was all in my feelings about getting flaked on and like#yes that sucks#but also why was i getting all melodramatic on tumblr#i love my friends and they love me and that is the only thing that is certain and true#🩷🩷#anyway this is so exciting#wetr about to have margarita mondays#tequila tuesdays#wine wednesdays#thirsty thursday’s#something that starts w an f friday#same w saturday#and on sunday… we rest#forget breaking the cycle there’s a reason alcoholism runs deep
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randomly went back through the interviews and surveys i conducted for that class project my last semester of college, and suddenly noticed that like half of the participants said that ghosts are inherently erotic or sexy in some way. did i just have a biased sample pool being that they were people i am friends with irl or follow me here, or is this actually representative of the population
#theres some really beautiful sentiments expressed i dont feel like i appreciated at the time#wld love to share some of the data at some pt if i was able to get consent#however. why is everyone casually saying ghosts are sexy#its also funny bc everyone who filled out survey from tumblr mentions trc. my professor was prob like what is this book everyone references#the only data i removed from my set was a response that was like#'im drunk on a tuesday afternoon sure ghosts are real'
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if my beautiful lovely coworkers could get everything together today i can get a half day. and then i'll probably be pretty quiet on here for the rest of the weekend cause i got shit 2 do
#pspspsps c'mere nightshade i gotta animate your walk cycle#and also clean the house i GUESS#being crazy about i s a t will resume on tuesday. i mean inutile is still coming out on monday but that's already written#the only writing i'm doing this weekend is programming >:3#but before then i need to revise this poster AGAIN i guess#graphic design is NOT my passion today (<- graphic designer)#why the fuck did this show up in the main tag. tumblr why do you hate me
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since starting class a month ago i have been on time to class approximately 5 times. none of these times have been on thursdays. so i ask u all now
#michelle speaks#there is a specific reason why. so on thursday i have class for 8 hrs there r breaks but yeah#so on tuesdays & wednesdays i have class for a shorter time so i take my ritalin early & go back to sleep#but i can’t do that on thursdays bc i have class for so long. & ritalin makes it so that u cannot sleep while u have it in ur system#it usually wakes me up but even if not u cannot sleep on it u can go into like a fugue state at most 😭#that’s why they give it to ppl who have the sleep disorder where u randomly fall asleep#so anyway. when i wake up on thursdays i am totally rawdogging it PLUS i know i have 8 hrs of class#PLUS i know i have 8 hrs of my externship the next day so i have no will to live#which translates to me laying in my bed & making pathetic noises for 20 mins which leads me to be late#so given the information i have given i feel there is a correct answer to this poll#or there WOULD be. but i am going to beat the odds……i made it to class on time today 😊#also ftr i am on time to my classes that r not my first class of the day i am only late to the first one 😭
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why do everything cost money
#TO BE FAIR i only get 300 a week but. wh. wheres my money .#why does buying a microwave. One Pair of jeans. and some shelves . have 2 bankrupt me so bad (also 36 towards lights but wtvr)#i got paid friday !! its barely almost tuesday !! what the fuck#even my commission + etsy money is like . Gone. ive barely bought anything !!!!#ice soup week baby........
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gonna keep it shmoovin man
#just me hi#i have a piece i was working on last night that i realized after i didn't have my computer could actually be Much more accurate to my ideaa#but that means i gotta scrap some stuff. sigh ᴗ.ᴗ#also i couldn't get around to readin my thing yesterday cuz my focus was shot for some reason lmao <//3#i would open the thing and then just start. driiiifting away kfshvg#//anyway idk what happened but why have i started to miss Gs at the end of my words Lmfhvaf#i already do that in real life we don't needa do that here too kfshvh#'asz wu' 'm sayin man !!' <- my engrish :3#i do like it though i think it's fun :> but my typingggg not you too kfsvhg#//anywho i've got a $1.75 thing i'm workin on :D#it's gonna hopefully be the third part to those last two i did for that thing#which goes adoration -> devotion -> guess hfh :3#i'm normal abt these guys. [places them in a lunchbox and throws it into the river to watch the bubbles] yea :)#//anyway Wednesday#not the best of the week days i will not lie#like you're stuck between the beginning and the end and it's just got that undecided feeling to it ykno what i mean pfshv#//also LMAO i've been calling feet/foot 'peets/poot' bc i think it's goofy and i don't like the F sound#and i got leo into saying it and he was talkin to somebody and had to explain what it was Lmfhjshfg#my infec- influence is spreading. influence. that's what i said#my woerds: peet. poot. tomach. shnoze. ham. heed. fingaa. ect ect#//ouhhh my collarbone keeps making these snappy noises when i pull my shoulders back#it's only occasional but holy shizz it's loud sometimes. like 'when we're in church i think you can hear it 4 pews back' loud khgsfjhfvjg#//ANYWAY i was mentioning wednesday earlier cuz it's not the best of days on the week (we know this) but i wanna go skating </3#'why isn't wednesday good for that' because it's the middle of the week. [gesturing]#i can't explain it but things need to happen on- Oo i like this songgggkkggg- either weekends or the other 4 days of the weekday#wednesday is for appointments you really don't want. i'm sorry but it's a filler day <//3#which means no happenings on a wednesday. it's illegal. that's right. Illegal#even thursday is iffy man. tuesday? tuesday is your last-chance stop. perhaps i do have thoughts about silly things Kfhvsjhgsf#nobody tell leo he's tryna get me for having a weird brain. the sentence is 5000 years of i-told-you 😔 Lmaooo#//OKAY i think i'm outta tags tho lemme say ciao here loll :3 toodles tooooodles !!! <3
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I CAN'T FOCUS. I HAVE A PAPER DUE 10 PM AND- I CAN'T FOCUS AT ALL. PLEASE. WHY. IT'S IMPORTANT.
#it's 6 fyi#i can't fucking focus oh my god i wanna cry#i keep staring at the screen or losing myself stimming and humming#what the fuck aa#furthermore i have NOT done the reading and i don't have time to do it (it's like 200 pages) oh my god why#i swear to god i'd forgotten about this fucking thing#also if we have class with this prof on thursday why not extend the deadline to like tuesday at least? she hasn't even corrected the ->#-> previous assignment either! idk if what i did so far makes sense or not! idk shit!#like. i know the theme i must focus on. and it's only. like. one page i gotta write. but i swear. i'm struggling hard#i took vitamins + drank water + ate 3 walnuts. i pray my productivity kicks in asap.
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I just found out that a tilt table test isn't like, getting tilted back and forth for a while, you lay there for thirty minutes and then they tilt you upright REAL QUICK, im gonna fail that test so hard lmao
#at first I'm like hmmmm idk if I meet the criteria for orthostatic intolerance idkkk#and tested my HR a few times from laying/standing with a few minutes in between#but if it's THIRTY MINS at rest before they flip me?#I'm fucked lmao#the biggest increase from sitting to standing that I've seen in the last two days#was 24bpm#that's like...not the worst. it's outside the normal range but it's not BAD#it's not pre syncope levels of bad#but I've also deliberately increased my salt intake ever since the PT said POTS to me on Tuesday so#hmmmmm#sometimes I feel like my fucking around and finding out isn't very science based and k can't possibly accurately diagnose myself and then#this stuff happens...#I'm so fucking tired bro#I got so confused and frustrated about a really stupid and simple thing today that I just started crying#I've been crying a LOT in the last two weeks#BUT#only two more shifts and then I'm free from this job forEVER!!!#and I can focus on my health or lack thereof#I don't expect cures or even really effective treatments at this point I just want to know WHY#like WHAT is happening with my body bro#it's never worked particularly well or normal but the last time I felt physically healthy was early 2022#it's been almost TWO years since I felt healthy and I'm 25#and I feel like it's getting progressively worse. not by huge increments but enough#maybe that's just symptoms stacking? idk#maybe it's just extended fatigue without really feeling rested#I have no clue which is why I would loooove to know bro#sigh#little Victorian boy wasting disease
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lying on my bed at 6pm bc it's finally the weekend and the last two weeks have been some bullshit
#the first week of September not only did i have a cold but i was also in a mad frenzy to mail my grad school application to korea#within the VERY short window in which they accept them#and i had to run all over while I was sick (I wore a mask everywhere believe me I did not WANT to go out) for a day to get it done#and it was sooooooo expensive to mail quickly hoooolllyyyy shit#i had a friend over last weekend which was fun but exhausting#then sunday night after a relaxing day i check the tracking link for my application papers and it said they couldn't deliver it#but there were 2 updates one said the address was wrong one said they couldn't get access to the building to deliver#SO ANYWAY I freaked out and didn't know what to do and by time I put my phone away and went to bed it was sooooo late#and I spent Monday/Tuesday being worried 24/7 and going back and forth between the university and UPS on email/phone to get it sorted#thank god I got a delivery notification super late on Tuesday before I went to bed and the school updated my application by Weds am#so I can sleep in peace for now#but ......god#why does the plot always have to be thick like pleaseeee#so anyway Im taking this weekend to rest and recharge#my friend sent me a gift box from lush to make me feel better and I WILL be using it🥹#I plan to relax and plan my korea trip and sleep a lot this weekend tbh#also i get paid today yayyy#haven't posted a long personal vent in awhile figured it was time✨#//#personal
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BTW, Dinah's list of possible BOP candidates:
Babs
Vixen
Grace Choi
Huntress
Lady Shiva
Talia (with a question mark)
Cheshire (also with a question mark)
Catwoman (on the list as Selina)
Onyx (I believe?)
Katana
Manhunter (I believe?)
Zatanna
Black (???) [It was suggested to me that this is possibly Lady Blackhawk, who has appeared on the BOP before]
Fire/Ice (they're a set, do not separate)
#dc#dinah lance#comics spoilers#tuesday spoilers#i don't have enough context to go through every single one of these picks but i do wonder#why selina was on the list with her first name but helena was just called huntress#of the characters here only a few have been on the bop in the past which isn't a bad thing#obviously babs and helena have been but also katana has been in a bop lineup#shiva and cheshire also both have long histories with the bop#presumably either they told dinah no or dinah decided it was a bad idea to call them. i could even categorize them by this
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literally in distress over my job rejecting my availability
#like....#okay#i'm already on holiday for two weeks - paid#and what i wanted was a couple of days extra (unpaid) so i could stay at home longer#and every time i tried talking to my manager she brushed me off#last time i talked to her she said “no that's enough you're not changing anything else”#but like? once i asked her to confirm the dates because our weeks don't follow the usual pattern#the other - i had put in a request for two days ahead of my holiday (turns out one of them was already included but that's not the point)#which they ignored - literally no approval or denial#instead they just put me on a shift#which i did end up asking about - essentially agreeing to do another shift they needed cover for if they took me off that shift#that's all#and when we talked last i had to remind her to take that shift off as she had agreed to. this is when i also mentioned my availability req#which she had been 'too busy to look at'#today i found out she denied it#which like. okay. there might not be enough people etc etc but i would've liked a chance to talk about it?#best believe that next time i'm in - which is only tuesday when they'll probs already have me scheduled for new shifts already#i'll ask why#and i'm sure nothing will change because they don't care#but i'm in such a state#i have never been so homesick. i am quite literally holding on by a thread here. and i only ever go home like...once a year#one year it was twice but the second time was for four days#i NEED this#but i couldn't even tell them this#anyways#just needed to put this somewhere because my god
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