#also this is way funnier if you actually think they broke up

[beanghostprincess]

Franky met Sanji and Usopp in the middle of their breakup arc and had to deal with the consequences of the "No, we are not dating but yes, I will have to be held back against my will from beating you up for hurting my boyfri- I mean ex-boyfriend- Our longnose" situation

[yellowflwrss]

ALL JOKES; luke hughes

• based when luke was still playing at umich

• you decide to play a little prank on your bf where you call him your brother after you kiss him

you were on tik tok way too much. and luke was too but definitely not as much as you. he wasn’t on it to the point where he saw the lastest couple pranks when they were still very popular. so of course as his amazing girlfriend you had to pull a little prank on your boyfriend whom you loved so much.

you were sitting on the couch in the house luke shared with some of his hockey buddies. a few of them were sat on other parts of the couch watching tv with heir girlfriends who were going from talking with you and then talking with their respective boyfriends while you sat with a single headphone in on tik tok. luke had sat next to you mere moments before until he had to use the bathroom.

it was perfect timing because that’s when the tik tok pulled up on your “for you page” and gave you the idea to mess with your boyfriend.

the tik tok was of a girlfriend next to her boyfriend. she said some words and then turned to him, he kissed her and she said the words to the camera: “best big brother ever!” and he started laughing.

obviously, you began to think how luke would react to this and knew you had to film this tik tok for yourself.

luke walked out from the bathroom and began to walk over to you till you stood up “babe come here.” you told luke and like a puppy he followed you into the kitchen which was right next to the living room.

you set up your phone and turned to luke who looked at you confused. in the corner of your eye you could also see mark, ethan, seamus and gavin giving y’all some questionable looks. everyone else payed somewhat attention to the both of you with their eyes still trained on the tv.

“okay so when i turn around just kiss me.” you smile up at luke. he was pretty tall compared to you (actually very tall compared to you) so to the camera it was a funny shot.

“okay..” luke gave you a suspicious glance as he watched you step forward to press play. when you backed up in front of luke you began to giggle which made the boys in the living room chuckle and luke laugh at you suspiciously, he knew you had something planned.

“if you wanna get to me, you have to get through him first.” you managed to get out through your giggles.

“preach!” one of the boys yelled from the living room, the culprit being duke tucker. mark let out a laugh at this. the two knew this tik tok and had their eyes glued to the scene.

you turned around to luke and on cue he gave you a kiss. he tried to make it go on for longer but because of the audience before you and the fact that you were in the middle of a tik tok, you broke the kiss and turned back to the camera. “best big brother ever.” you tried to keep a straight face. from behind you both, the boys broke out in laughter and you wish you could rewatch luke’s reaction over and over again like it was the first time.

his jaw dropped as he looked at you and then proceeded to look around awkwardly. “i am not your brother.” his lack of words made the event even funnier to you and all his friends as well. the girls were laughing too and it made the scene all the greater.

luke didn’t know what to do so he grabbed your waist from behind and pulled you into a bear hug “brother?” he laughed “brother?” he repeated, still in disbelief.

“woah big bro you’re getting a little too close there.” luca shouted.

“shut up.” luke laughed as he kissed you “look at what you started.”

“STOP KISSING YOUR SISTER LUKE.”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP.”

[yuttikkele]

i finished a new media so now it’s time for ATLA PRIDE HCs WOOOO!!!

so aang is unlabeled (and doesn’t identify as unlabeled either 💀💀) in all areas basically. he loves freely and doesn’t see gender or sex. he doesn’t see it in himself either. he mostly presents and refers to himself as a dude, but he found out he doesn’t mind being seen as a lady either. he’s crushed on katara and zuko during different points in his life, but he settled on katara. functionally, he’s pan and genderfluid.

katara is queer. she is the most unqueer queer ever though. she acts straight as a board I tell ya. she doesn’t really confine herself to labels much either, but she can tell you she was surprised at how much she enjoyed Lady Aang when that first became a thing.

sokka is bi. he probably thought men were supposed to marry women, but he quickly got over it when he got over his short lived misogyny. bi awakening wasn’t really a thing, he just sorta knew he always liked boys and girls. he’s had many crushes, but yue and suki are the ones that always stood out the most for him. obvi he dabbles in drag, that’s like sorta a canon thing. zuko’s autistic charms get to him and he ends up developing a crush on him.

toph is an aroace lesbian. she only dates the finest of women. she can tell she’ll read your heart with her feet.

zuko is gay like GAAAYYYY I don’t mean to bring accidental cheesy puns into this but he is a FLAMING homosexual, and I refuse to believe otherwise. at some point I said “I like zutara, but I just think atla is way funnier when in the back of your mind, zuko is gay.” anyways he’s gay and sex repulsed. zuko didn’t know he liked boys until he was 17, and he didn’t realize he was completely gay until a year later. he was very comphet and was always expected to produce a blood heir, and he didn’t think much of it. looking back, zuko noticed how he did find boys cute when he was younger and often avoided them because of it. he could sense that he and his sister were different, but he always thought that was because they were royalty. he only really started dating mai because they had so much in common, he thought that’s what was supposed to happen. when zuko, not long after becoming fire lord, realized he liked boys, he kept it to himself. a year later when he realized he only liked boys, he vented about it to mai, and she helped him through it. they broke up, but he still values her friendship. zuko finally gets with sokka in his 20s. yeah it took that long.

OTHER CHARACTERS THAT AREN’T GAANG THAT COME TO MIND!!

azula is a LESSSBIAAAAN that is a lesbian

I wanna say suki and ty lee are dating

smeller bee is definitely trans I don’t wanna hear it

uncle iroh doesn’t care. he loved his wife whatever happened to her, and he would also date a man.

EDIT: sorry just here to say that zukaang is endgame actually. they get together in aang’s mid to late 20s after pining for a long time. aang always had sorta an underlying unspoken crush on zuko, and zuko caught feelings when aang shot up taller than him and he realized aang got really handsome. and yknow. the fact that THEY’RE SOULMATES.

[xpastelsweetsx]

Age headcanons for the batfam:

Bruce Wayne: 45-47 anywhere around there (kills the fact hes only a decade or so older than dick but also like?? No way bruce is in his 30s and no way dick is in HIS thirties) (do still find the fact there IS only a decade between them in canon hilarious tho) (he could be 37 but him being mid 40s is funnier and more dad)

Babs: 29!! So close to 30 but not quite. Shes actually like excited about being 30 tho?? Just vibes shes hype about it

Dick: 27, he just feels like a tired almost millennial. The appartment him and babs have?? If they break up they still have to split the rent- theyre that broke babes

Jason: 21- puts him at 13 when he becomes robin after dick leaves around 19- I also like the age dynamic between him and Tim being close in age- 4 years is a good “fought all the time til they both grew tf up” gap- talking from experience

Steph: 19. “Oh but that makes the age gap between tim and steph weird during their relationship” yeah well… the entire relationship itself was a bit weird and theyre so sibling/bi besties coded I dont vibe with them dating personally- you can tho <3 =)

Cass: 19. Self explanatory (StephCass my Love)

Duke: 17, him and Tim constantly give each other looks of “everyone around us doesn’t understand social media like we do” (say what you want you CANNOT replicate the tiktok fyp and slang of a high schooler, the minute you graduate something changes)

Tim: 17, forever, point blank period hes never allowed to vote. I think the fact that hes been 17 forever despite the fact damians aged a good 4 years is so funny tbh- i feel bad for him tho, low key being 17 is HELL save HIM AND ME!!!! PLEASE!!

Damian: 14, hes a freshman in highschool, he did middle school during covid, he knows all the fnaf lore and hes not ashamed to tell you ALL OF IT (hes an ipad baby idk how he was with the league but still he just is)

[fourstarsoutofnine]

I'm so sorry if you've gotten too many Four requests already, but I SWEAR YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I TRUST ENOUGH TO DO THIS 😭🥺

anyways! i have this scenario in mind: Four working on fixing/making a blade or he's relaxing and he's wearing a sleeveless shirt, so reader gets to see his arms and holy shit there's no way those arms weren't chiseled by the goddesses themselves so reader immediately gets a dumb dreamy smile with heart eyes and all. So while in their very clear admiration and fawning over Four (Four is the only one that hasn't noticed), when the smith approaches them they end up absent mindedly blurting out a very... not so subtle compliment of what they've been looking at on him for a while now. Feel free to decide what happens next.

whether Four and reader are already in a relationship is up to you but i think it'd be funnier if reader just has the biggest crush on him and he had NO idea gshdjshshdjsjdjsj

A/n:I genuinely think yall are mindreaders bc I’ve been wanting to write this too😭I’ve also been thinking about how he’d be literally so buff👁️👁️also thank you so much for entrusting me with this🫡four is one of my favorites and I always enjoy writing for him so don’t worry!

Forge

Four x reader

You don’t know how you ended up in this situation.

Actually, yes you do. You’re just a little foggy. I mean, how could you not be? Hot room, steam coming from the heated weapons dipped into the water….

Your boyfriend standing there working tirelessly, and doing so while looking effortlessly beautiful.

Let’s set the scene. You’re in the forge, in his Hyrule. He was beyond elated to be back in his own forge again. He figured he could finally make a weapon the champion couldn’t break, and it’s exactly what he was attempting to do now. You had a front row seat to the show, too. Blacksmithing always intrigued you, and even more so after you got with the smith himself, so you were more than excited to see him in action. You just didn’t account for how little you’d actually pay attention.

I mean, how could you? You sure tried, but your mind was so full yet so empty at the same time as you watched him work.

You didn’t understand how someone could look so perfect. All you knew was the strength that lay under his skin could only have been put there by the goddesses themselves. You were just delighted to have seen it in your lifetime.

Sweat beaded on his face, seeping into the headband he kept wrapped around him in hopes both hair and sweat wouldn’t fall into his eyes. He raised the mallet in the air and it came crashing down onto the hot metal in what would’ve been a loud bang, but you were too focused on the way he moved to care about it. Everything was muffled around you and it seemed you two could’ve been the only people in the world. Your heart pounded against your chest from either the heat of the fire or the man in front of you, you neither knew nor cared. He was like a song, you determined. The way the strength of his body was the perfect tune to the lyrics of his wonderful mind and soul would be one you could listen to over and over—and the tapestry of beautiful and poetic sentiments you thought of him was one woven so thick you’d be able to sleep under only it during the coldest of winters.

You’d been stuck in your own head about it for so long that you gained a lovesick smile. The thought of being held by him, kissed by him, or Hylia—even spoken to gave you that giddy feeling in your chest, like the butterflies swirling there wanted to fly out the moment you opened your mouth. He’d been watching you for some time, wondering when it was you’d notice he was looking at you. Finally his words broke through.

“Y/n..!” He laughed. “Hey, I’m talking to you..” he tilted his head to look at you with a quirked smile. “You alright..?”

“Huh?? Oh—yeah..” you sunk in on yourself at being caught daydreaming, face blooming a bright red with the blush extending into your ears and neck. “I’m fine…”

“What’s on your mind, dove? Huh?” He rested his cheek in his hand. “What brought out that smile you had earlier?”

Oh goddess, oh jeez— “uhm—uh—it’s-um—“ your words only became more jumbled as his smile got wider. His eyes filled with that same look yours had been only moments ago. He was just as in love. Your brain hit the panic button. You were no longer in control. “You. Your arms. You’re hot.”

His eyes widened and he leaned back in a loud laugh. Your cheeks puffed up and you looked down, embarrassed. When his laughter died down a bit, he walked over to you. “Oh, goodness, I love you.” He stood on his tiptoes and caught you up in a kiss. You melted against him and wrapped your arms around him, kissing back. His snaked around your waist and held you firmly there. When you pulled away he got a mischievous grin. “So my arms, huh?~”

“Oh shut up!” You shoved him away, covering your face. He just kept laughing. It’d be all too fun to tease you in the future, and you knew exactly what you were in for…

You didn’t exactly mind.

[radiosummons]

My sister has been showing me episodes of OG Trigun--mostly in preparation for Trigun Stampede--but also because it's one of her favorite manga of all time.

And holy SHIT I cannot even begin to explain how fucking batshit this show is. Just hearing Johnny Yong Bosch's voice alone immediately sent me back at least fifteen years.

I have watched all episodes of OG Trigun while drunk, high and sober. And regardless of my state of inebreiation, I was always left with the exact, inescapable feeling of wanting to fucking die from the sheer nostalgic cringe and insanity of it all. I hate this show. I love this show. I'm fucking obsessed.

So, to all those who are curious (or would just like a mini idea of how to compare OG Trigun with Trigun Stampede)--here is my comprehensive list of things that ACTUALLY happened in Trigun that make me go absolutely batshit just thinking about them:

The sheer insanity of the--balls to the walls, barely held together with ducktape, spit and shoestring--of a plot, all with apparently little to no accuracy to the manga whatsoever. This both amuses and horrifies my sister.

The absolute refusal on the part of the anime to actually explain literally anything. Like the fact that the show takes place in space. Or why humanity is on a desert planet. Or what Plants are, why they're important, why they're there, literally ANYTHING.

Seriously, if you've only ever watched the anime you would have no fucking clue what the Plants are or what they even do. And THEY'RE LITERALLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BITS OF LORE/A HUGE PART OF THE PLOT OF THE ENTIRE FUCKING MANGA.

A major bit of Trigun's lore/setting is just straight up the events of Wall-E.

Johnny Yong fucking Bosch as Vash's English VA. Enough said.

Vash--by simply existing and (mostly) through no direct fault of his own--is capable of wrecking such sheer and complete utter devastation that there's an actual insurance policy people can file after their town is destroyed in the aftermath of him visiting. Iconic.

Monev is just Spiderman's Venom but with a purple and orange reskin. This was intentional on part of the creator as he is obsessed with Venom. Good on him.

This is only specific to the English Dub (we switched to the original sub for the more "serious" episodes, calm down), but HOLY FUCK the absolutely atrocious line deliveries somehow make the show even worse and yet ultimately so much funnier all at the same time!

Millions Knives is the name of Vash's twin brother.

Vash is bisexual. There are multiple occassions where he will call a random male character "Cute" or "Cutie." Somehow, I am not the least bit surprised.

Christianity exists. And the Church trains orphans to be assassins. This makes perfect sense.

"LUUV AND PEEEEAAACCCCCEEE!!!!"

In the second episode of the series (English Dub), there's an actual scene where an old man and his grandson LOUDLY lament the absolute devastation of their home in the most inappropriately cheerful and candid way possible. And then the fucking kid follows that up by just singing out of fucking nowhere "~Bad times are here LALALALALA!!!!!~"

Vash is part gun.

According to "company regulations," as insurance workers Milly and Meryl are not allowed to take part time jobs. They later take part time jobs. My broke ass resonated too fucking hard with this bit.

"Oh, maaaan! Why can't I just get a break?! Death and poverty like me so much, they've brought friends!" Fucking. Mood.

At one point, Vash does the crab walk to dodge a barrage of bullets. This is, surprisingly, quite effective.

"I'll whack you, mister!"

Legato's introduction is him sitting down on a bench and then PULLING A HOT DOG OUT OF A PAPER BAG WITH A HUMAN HEAD IN IT!!!!

Legato has his own personal saxophone player that just follows him everywhere???????

"Oh my. I'm about to go down in ~fllaaaaaammeesssss!~"

Wolfwood.

In EP 16, someone just starts randomly scatting in the background for no reason. No explanation is ever offered.

"My name is .... VASH DA STAMPEDE-DUUUH!!!!!"

Also in EP 16, one of the villains for that episode sounds, deadass, exactly like Jar Jar Binks. I am not joking.

Legato can blood bend.

There's a mini episode dedicated to Milly and Meryl. Vash shows up for five seconds hiding in a trash can. The joke writes itself.

"The DEADLY DODGEBALL HEAD!!! A simple technique to hold the ball in place with INTENSE SUUUCTION!! Try this at home! ;)"

Knives eats an apple, cuts his own hair and enters his impromptu emo arc.

Legato gets horny over the idea of Vash crying. Idk what to tell you, man.

Wolfwood shoots a child. Granted, said child was gonna try to kill Vash and a bunch of orphans. But still.

Vash makes up a dark song about murdering and killing people. The villains of that episode proceed to roast him for his shit lyrics.

Wolfwood doesn't understand why everyone is mad at him for KILLING A CHILD.

"I meditate diligently every morning. The subjects are life and love ... I quit after three seconds."

The actually downright amazing OST, that has no right to be as good as it is. No joke, one of the best anime OSTs I have ever heard in my life.

"And if you're still having doubts, check out my 100% accurate gunmanship!" *proceeds to shoot directly at the sky only then for a black cat to fall directly on his head. The cat's fine btw*

At a certain point, Vash fakes his identity, gets a disguise and goes under a false name. Said false name being "Eriks." He looks like if someone ran Hohenheim through the washer and then hung him on a clothesline for a week. I have ... no fucking words.

"What is this strange phenomena? Is it some sort of strange and twisted Christian science!?"

For as menacing as they make Legato out to be, he sure does shit all in the grand scheme of things. Also he looks like he raids Seto Kaiba's closet on the DL and duels monsters on weekends.

Vash will randomly have Bishie eyes. Arguably, his most Bishie moment is right after Wolfwood punches him in the face. I'll let you infer what you want from this.

Rem randomly appears out of nowhere to taunt Vash with nonsense riddles and haikus. No explanation is ever given until EP 17 for who Rem is, why she keeps reappearing in Vash's mind, if she's even a real person or just someone Vash made up, etc. Because of this, it just looks like Vash keeps receiving American Beauty-style rose shower psychic attacks while a random woman just spouts absolute nonsense at him. There is no way this explanation will prepare you for the actual experience of watching it.

 "I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz-" *prolonged pause* "-Gombigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andri Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser the Third. Don't hestitate to call."

Vash gets adopted by an old woman and her granddaughter. It's actually kind of sweet.

A minor villain in EP 18 demands that Vash strip and then act like a dog. He proceeds to do both without a single objection. Wolfwood pulls down his sunglasses and leers at Vash's naked ass. My sister has informed me that this is actually canonical.

Rem is a hyper Christian.

Wolfwood takes personal offense to a burlesque dancer being absolute shit at dancing. Honestly ... I can't even argue with him.

"Hey, 'Thou Shalt Not Kill,' REMEMBER!? WHAT KIND OF CHURCH MAN ARE YOU!!!?"

Vash saves a town's Plant through the power of Bishie.

While trying to save a child, Vash and Wolfwood both get sucked into quicksand. Said child just watches them go into the ground. I would have done the same.

Milly, Vash and Wolfwood decide to share drinks and before any of them even take a single shot, Milly decides to strip naked. Vash and Wolfwood are very pleased by this. Meryl is not.

"WHOSE idea was it to USE THE GRENADE!!!?? He can't be identified for the reward if he's a pile of pulp, YOU DUMBASS!!!!"

Wolfwood calls Vash pathetic. This kickstarts yet another existential crisis within Vash.

"Thank GOD you asked! It's a long story, although it's kind of a short one."

For literally no reason at all, child Knives decides to embrace his Anti-Christ symbolism and goes full Joker mode. This is not at all accurate to the manga.

Vash and Knives are aliens/Plants. Rem thinks they're actual Christian angels. Deadass.

Milly forces Wolfwood to pretend to be her baby daddy for a whole episode. For pudding. Yup.

Vash enters a dom/sub relationship with a Pokemon gym leader looking lady and they engage in extremely explicit pet play.

Anyway, watch OG Trigun. If you've ever watched any sort of anime abridged series, it will definitely make things a little easier for you. There are definitely too many points at which this show feels like a YouTube Poop and I mean in that best and worst possible way.

Also Meryl is Best Girl. I will not budge on this.

[fountainpenguin]

can i be honest im so intrigued by ur idea of a dev/trev/bev friendgroup even though you mentioned it maybe twice during ur liveposting

i know its mostly cuz they have basically the same name but i think its funny... saddest soppy wet-est kid in the school, some guy with hair in the ugliest shade of green and a girl who loves football and owns a talk show have something in common, somehow

I think we should go all the way and have a Trev, Dev, Bev, and Kev friend squad. And we can add the random kid who's listed on the kindness chart by the name Whatevs. Just call them The Evs.

It's so stupid, but I genuinely am shocked they all have rhyming names and they aren't a background squad. It is ridiculously funny to me that the vibe I get from Hazel's class is that the creators came up with a bunch of Ev names as their filler (with Dev specifically introducing Trev, Bev, and Kev to Hazel when she gets to school) and Dev himself fits this rhyming pattern.

Dev: Dad, I'm one of the youngest kids in my grade... did you just copy the names the other parents gave their children? Dale: Dale: Dale: No.

Even Devin rhymes with Kevin

I feel like Dev and Kev cross paths sometimes since Kev is a child model / the brand face for a popular soft drink. It also makes sense they wouldn't since being a child model and the son of a billionaire are two different things.

But of the people in Dev's class, it is astronomically funny to me that Dev looked at Trev and Bev and said "I want these regulars" and he doesn't seem particularly into hanging out with Kev.

Anyway, whatever this trio and/or quartet has going on cracks me up. I like that Dev and Trev both have a crush on Bev (Trev was distraught when they broke up in the finale due to Anti-Fairies magically setting Bev up with someone else).

Utterly fascinated that A New Wish canon is that Anti-Fairies don't have to follow Da Rules. Logically that makes total sense, but it's still interesting because we didn't see them pushing this angle in the OG series... but this somehow makes Timmy and Vicky unwishing each other's stuff - something godkids aren't supposed to be able to do iirc - that much funnier. Me, ever since I saw the episode: Why can Foop just tell Vicky that Timmy is a godkid? If he's her godparent, he's not allowed to do that; godkids have to cross paths on their own. Me now: Ahhh...... I understand...

I actually went back and watched, and Trev and Bev are definitely better friends with each other than either is with Dev. Trev and Bev are near each other in a lot of the background scenes. We don't really see them interacting, but they do seem to know each other and/or enjoy each other's company, so I thought it was funny when they were apparently dating (holding hands with hearts in eyes) in the finale.

Meanwhile, Dev rarely approaches either of them beyond being pulled into Hazel's Broadway show, where he's a back-up dancer, which isn't necessarily his choice (especially considering how happy he is in the song despite being a jerk in the other scenes... lmao).

- although he did give Bev double pudding when we know he was being super picky about whom he gave it to, which doesn't necessarily mean anything, but I think it's funny.

Oh, I was gonna post a screenshot but I can't because the red lighting on her pudding-slathered body in that scene sets off my hemophobia and that's even BEFORE the zombie stuff, lmao... Just trust me on this- she has a cup in each hand.

And we KNOW the only person she could've gotten the pudding from is Dev, who is confirmed to have hoarded all the pudding cups and was only giving them to people who impressed him. We even see him take one cup away from Jenkins after giving him two, so he was being SUPER picky.

Look at them... They are The Evs...

I just want them to be friends... They all have fun designs and personality... I think they should play on the playground or go to the movies.

sdkljfsd, Dev is the shortest one in this whole picture. Everyone in this class utterly dwarfs him. Which makes sense, because Hazel started school in this show at age 10 and Dev is 9 until the midpoint in Season 1. He's just a little guy...

Like... Does Trev KNOW Dev has a crush on Bev? I can totally imagine Dev watching them date and being like "Hey... wait a minute."

^ The face you make when you just find out your secret crush is dating your secret squish.

- I CANNOT get over the fact that Dev has a canon squish. He just wants to be Trev's friend so badly but he's too shy to talk to him... That's hilarious. I wish we would explore that, because that's not something you usually get to see explored in media. - ... I am lying. Winn is everyone's squish in this episode and that's also canon. Everyone likes Winn, AS THEY SHOULD. Winn is so friendly and kind, even (and especially) when people are nervous around them. - Dev stop having squishes on his entire class challenge (Impossible). - "Multiverse of Jenkins" except every time Hazel walks past Dev, he's head-in-hands-ing over a new person he wants to befriend but screwed up talking to.

Honestly, looking back on "Wellsington Hotellsington" makes me kind of sad because... it's obvious Dev is trying to make friends in the only way he really knows. He's being a brat and a braggart, but at least he was engaging in conversation. This is one of the only episodes (if not THE only) where he makes a real effort.

Tell us how it's really going, Mr. Many Times Bitten, Many Times Shy. Ahaha... he needs to improve himself.

I really like how we see Hazel have to work to make new friends at school and she puts effort in, so we see why people befriend her, and meanwhile Dev is just... consistently not interacting with people and then sitting around upset he has no friends. He is 9.

Anyway, I just think The Evs' dynamic would be funny to explore. It's got everything you need! Dev being the worst! Bev leading them into action, but mostly to soccer-football games! Trev being super supportive and friendly and kind! Those two dating while Dev third wheels and stares into the camera! Idk what Kev does!

I think Dev should just stand in the middle of all his squishes and say "oh no." This would be a 'fic that resolves absolutely nothing because he just vibrates slightly as sweatdrops roll down his face and he's scared to open his mouth, but I would find it funny.

They are just so silly (to me)...

[a-local-idiots-shitpost]

Mc breaks them out of jail

Lucifer:

how did Lucifer even get placed in jail in the first place?

maybe Lucifer finally snapped and killed the wrong person

oh well not like it matters

anyway when he first saw he thought you where just here to laugh at him

which to be fair was also one of the reasons

then he saw you pull put explosives

he was shocked at the fact you didn´t blow up the entire prison

partially because it was predictable partially because it was a lot of explosives

but I guess all that matters that there were no unnecessary deaths (the Guards who found you while escaping don´t count because Lucifer hated them)

Mammon:

honestly at this point why wasn´t he in jail like ever

he makes so many shady deals it was only a matter of time

he was really really happy

mostly because he knew you where there to save him

and he was surprised by the fact that you just brought some Lockpicks

“Mc! this is no time to be jokin´ there is no way ya co-”

and it´s and Mammon´s speechless perfect outcome everybody

until this day neither of you know how you got out without people getting hurt or either of you even being seen

but it worked out so no one cares

Leviathan:

h-how did he even land in prison

cyberbullying? hacking? did he insult a shitty politican??? who knows

one thing is for certain he is not made for prison

not only because he has to *gasp* interact with people but also because he will miss all of his events...

and because he will probably get punched

let´s be real Levi doesn´t know when would be the right moment to stay quiet

he was ready to cry when he saw

and when he saw that you where carrying crow bar

his first thought was that you where there to finish him

he was really happy when you just destroyed the lock

and he got scared again when he saw what you and the crow bar where capable of when someone found you two

Satan:

he killed the wrong person

some asshole politician just pissed him of Satan just decided

“alright let´s just kill this dude”

he could also break out on his own but decided seeing what you come up with would be funnier

and the property damages would piss of Lucifer another reason why he wants to know what you´re capable of

he was sadly disappointed by the fact you just broke the bars with your bare hands

come on Mc he could have easily done this! you where supposed to blow up the prison

but he get´s to take his anger out on anybody that crosses his path

which does make the situation at least a little bit better

Asmodeus:

Asmo started a Multi level Marketing scheme and couldn´t charm his way out of it this time

which means he goes to prison

he wouldn´t have minded if it was a pretty one

but this one is everything but pretty

and he hates it there, they don´t even allow him new nail polish! what´s he supposed to do watch the old one peel of? no thank you he´d rather die

he was actually so happy when he saw you because he thought you were here to bring him hi things

and even happier when he found out you were here to free him

you would think both of you would leave without any any corpses

this is wrong

Asmo was angry and honestly rather he takes it out on random Demons than anyone you guys know

Beelzebub:

he ate a bunch of Demons because they didn´t have any food anymore

because he ate all of it and no one was there to calm him down

honestly it would have been safer for everyone involved if they just brought him to Lucifer

considering the prison is now pretty much empty

hell you didn´t even have to to do anything either they just freed him to get rid of him or Beel just destroyed his cell bars

there wasn´t even anyone there to stop you guys they were just happy to get rid of Beel

Belphegor:

he fell asleep somewhere where he wasn´t supposed to

personally I believe he fell asleep on a road just to cause chaos

he didn´t even know he got imprisoned

he just thought he fell asleep on the roof again

he barely even noticed that you came to visit him

or that you brought a bunch of explosives to free him

one moment he was asleep the next he was slightly on fire

after this stunt no one even stopped you from carrying Belphie home

they were just happy to have you leave

[frankencanon]

I think it'd be funny if we made Kakashi even younger.

Can you imagine Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura finding out that Kakashi is only a handful of years older than them?!

I mean, with how little we see of his face it's extremely difficult to tell how old he is...

It was one thing when he was prepubescent and short with an unbroken voice, but once his voice dropped and he reached an average adult height... How would anyone be able to tell?

He's strong, highly ranked, mature for his age, and the proper height for an adult with an adult voice. Anyone who didn't already know his age would be liable to mistakenly assume he's older than he actually is, especially with the grey hair.

And it's not like it's out of the realm of possibility for a teenager to be a jounin sensei—take Minato, for example. He was, what, seventeen? And as talented as Minato was, he's nothing compared to Kakashi when it comes to rising through the ranks at a young age.

I'm pretty sure Kakashi broke literally every record there was when it came to "youngest ever [blank]". Academy student, genin, chūnin, jōnin, ANBU, ANBU Captain... Sure, Itachi eventually beat him in one or two of those, but at the time Kakashi was the sole record-holder; There'd never been anyone like him before.

If we just modify Kakashi's already contradictory timeline... Unimportant info below about the details for just how this could potentially work in canon!!

—WAIT. FORGET ALL THAT.

If you want to read my calculations as to how this could canonically work you may direct your attention below, however I have just come up with a far better and far simpler and also quite possibly both funnier and sadder idea:

Time-travel, but not in any way you're thinking...

Most people assume the reason why they didn't hear much of Kakashi's exploits over the years is because he was in ANBU and so everything was Top Secret and extremely covert...

But what if the real reason was because Kakashi had somehow been sent about a decade into the future? Hence explaining how he could be a teenager still when he was once the Yondaime's student.

Also possible: Kakashi was somehow held in stasis for the past decade—sealed, perhaps? Trapped? Or maybe the work of a foreign shinobi's jutsu (kekkei genkai?) that took about a decade or so to break/deactivate...

Or, my personal favorite:

He was investigating the Uzushiogakure ruins and got caught in one of their defensive seals — one that would seal him for a maximum of ten years, with the intention of giving Uzushio shinobi as much time as possible to deal with whatever intruder(s) got caught in the trap.

Without Kushina or Minato or any other Uzumaki seal experts however, deactivating the seal would be basically impossible — luckily, the seal was set up so that once time ran out Kakashi would be automatically released.

And he was! Ten years later, with little baby Naruto all grown up and almost ready to be placed on a genin team — his genin team.

—

AFFOREMENTIONED DUMB CALCULATIONS FOR HOW THIS COULD POTENTIALLY FIT INTO THE CANONICAL TIMELINE BELOW 👇

—

It's probably boring!! You don't have to read it!!

⚠️ You have been warned!! ⚠️

(It's mostly just me brainstorming, honestly...)

—

Genin at five, chūnin at six... Then he stalls at chūnin for a while before eventually advancing to jōnin at twelve (wherein Obito "dies").

He's approximately thirteen when Rin is killed leading to him joining ANBU, and then fourteen when Naruto is born and the Kyūbi is unleashed on the village, causing Minato and Kushina to sacrifice themselves.

In canon, he is then twenty-six years old when he becomes Team 7's jōnin sensei...

For starters, I vote we cut those six years of chūnin limbo before Kakashi becomes jōnin, dropping him to about twenty-or-so.

Then again, this is fanfic—who cares about canon timelines?

If we put him on the hyper-speed fast-track...

4: Academy student

5: Genin

6: Chūnin

7. Jōnin (Obito dies)

8. ANBU (Rin dies)

9. Naruto's birth (Minato & Kushina die)

Is this ridiculous? Yes! But who cares?

9+12=21

Hm... That's not right.

Alright, this is getting a bit annoyingly complicated.

Even if I downgrade Naruto to eleven (because for a long time I was convinced for some reason that Naruto was eleven while the rest of his peers were twelve, and I still have absolutely no clue where I got that idea from) that would still make Kakashi about twenty. Hm...

Ugh, I'll figure this out later. Can't we just hand-wave it?

—No wait, I have an idea:

While modifying his canon timeline to make him younger is a hassle and a half, the fact remains that until we saw Kakashi Gaiden we didn't actually have any details on his backstory...

In other words? The beginning of the series managed just fine without it, so why don't we just throw it out entirely?

Afterall, this fic is about jōnin-sensei Kakashi—the details of his traumatic childhood are irrelevant, and it's not like early fans had that information to work with anyway.

Naruto is canonically younger than Sasuke (who was a baby during the Kyūbi attack) so we shall put him at eleven to give us some leeway.

Now let's say we wanted to make Kakashi somewhere around sixteen to eighteen during canon—that would require him to be five to seven years old when Minato dies.

Now let's compress his timeline some more:

Considering the Konoha 9 all attended the very first chūnin exams after they graduated, I don't see any reason why Kakashi couldn't do the same—and unlike them he's a prodigy so it's basically guaranteed that he'd pass. (And that's assuming he didn't get a field promotion...)

Give him up to a year to become jōnin, and then have him join ANBU almost immediately after.

Some months later, Naruto is born and the Yondaime dies.

To compress it further, I am making his graduation even more ridiculous:

Academy student at three, genin and then chūnin at four, jōnin and ANBU at five. God, can you imagine a five-year-old ANBU? That'd be terrifying. Naruto is born around the time he turns six, and eleven years later Kakashi passes a genin team for the first time and is made a jōnin-sensei at seventeen, just like Minato-sensei was.

It'll take Team 7 a while to realize that, however.

...WAIT A MINUTE.***

Why am I even bothering to promote him prior to Minato's death? Am I, perhaps, an idiot?

Minato becomes his sensei as soon as he graduates to genin at five years old, but before that Kakashi spent a lot of time as his apprentice and they bonded. Shortly after Team 7 is formed the Kyūbi attack happens and Minato dies — the how doesn't matter, so don't worry about it.

The war is over so instead of Kannabi Bridge they go on some other dangerous mission with the same results, except this time the reason Minato isn't there is because he's dead.

They send some other inadequate chūnin or jōnin in his place, but they promptly get killed early on in the mission, perhaps at the same time that Rin gets kidnapped.

Kakashi is chūnin at this point so he naturally takes charge, despite being a five or six year old and Obito being — I don't know, twelve? Significantly older.

Obito dies, then Rin, and this time it's the stupid Sandaime that sticks Kakashi in ANBU like he's an annoying unwanted child that he wants to keep out of sight and thoroughly occupied — at least, until he needs a jōnin sensei for the Kyūbi's Jinchūriki and the Last Uchiha...

So, final version:

Five years old when Minato dies and Naruto is born, and about five or six years old when Obito and Rin die and Kakashi gets stuck in ANBU, followed by eleven years of Naruto growing up while Kakashi's in ANBU makes him... About sixteen to seventeen years old when Kakashi becomes Team 7's jōnin sensei.

To Kakashi, this feels almost poetic. (Same age as Minato-sensei was...)

[franki-lew-yo]

inb4 nicer post than my last one:

I saw Chicken Run 2. It's pretty cute. Definitely not as big a letdown or wasted like a Pixar sequel is.

Keep in mind I think I'm one of the few people in existence who's never itching to get sequels and continuations of my fandoms. I never wanted a Finding Nemo sequel and Finding Dory broke my heart in the worst way; by having unlimited potential and squandering it and the characters I love.

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget doesn't do that, happy to say. Mostly it's just underwhelming.

It's weird. I'm definitely not a better writer than these professional writers, I just find myself going "why didn't you have the characters do/say THIS instead? It would still be cinematic and in character". I'd have to rewatch to give you a play-by-play of exactly what I mean. Overall I'd call that a nitpick. Bigger criticisms, especially when this is a sequel to a 20 y old film with fans who've seen in hundreds of times and know the details:

Hated how they retconed the chicks at the end of the original. You Thanos snapped Bunty and Fowler and possibly some of Rocky and Ginger's children. Also, those little 100% chicks were adorable. I'm okay with Molly being Ginger's only chick, but she'd look adorable as one of these:

Another distracting continuity thing: Rocky gets upset that he can't crow anymore. Even though...he was never a crower. That was Fowler's job. I remember. I get that he's a rooster but my point is that was never a thing Rocky did in the original and that should be been better established as what he does now on the island. Put it among the lines that I think could have very easily been slipped in to make it more digestible; you could have had Rocky say to Ginger, "you gotta let me crow! That's, like, my thing now", implying that he's turned to being the island's crow-er to cope with abandoning his lone-free-ranger lifestyle. See? Small changes of dialogue that can imply so much and give you an idea of all the things you need to know in this newer story.

Even though Fowler did technically do something in the end most of the movie felt annoyed and just there. Really would have liked it if he and Babs were back up and helpful some other way while it was mostly Mac, Bunty, and the rats who went in to save Molly and Rocky. Idk. Maybe it's hard to be the absolute banger of a convenience that is the green aliens and ' the claaaaaw' in Toy Story 3-- needed to utilize him better for the gag and the story is what I'm trying to get at.

Rocky and Ginger's voices were distracting. It's odd because Rocky's is definitely the more noticeably different one that you have to get used to, but I am 100% replacing him considering who was his og voice. I'm mostly mad that in order to free Rocky of the curse they had to take the part away from Julia Sawalha.

This is probably going to controversial here but, um, I really wish Mrs. Tweedy wasn't the Mrs. Tweedy in this. I think it'd be a funnier, more of a "here we go again" gag that they actually find some way to contrive the villain of this movie to be Mrs. Tweedy's relative that just happens to look the same, sound the same AND have the same bloodlust for chickens. Like, the gag is that all of Mrs. Tweedy's family is Officer Jenny/Nurse Joy who are all identical to one another but they're also the Cruella of birds and all have a bumbling husband. Even though it's explained how she got here, it just kind of takes the teeth out of her original defeat and even her one in this film.

I kind of wish Ginger had stayed "colarred" for a longer stretch of time and the rest of the crew had to save her. I feel like Molly being placed in her mother's shoes would have been more dramatic and made the situation all the more dire and dependent on the other characters to think up a plan. Ginger being unable to do anything or "broken" would change it up a bit, provided she still makes the final save in the end.

That pop song during the 'Molly-growing-up' montage was bad and didn't suit the time period and vibe of the movie. It really took me out. Just play that in the end credits.

Mr. Fry never appeared again in his creepy chicken man suit and I kind of really liked the idea of this creeeeeepy farmer basically wanting to be friends with the chickens while dressing as one because he thinks he's more connected to them that way. But no that's just for one scene.

I was also expecting Mr. Fry to turn on Mrs. Tweedy as he noticed her obviously flirting with Reginald. Having the ending twist be that he assists the chickens in their escape or lives among them in a horrific chicken suit with the chickens taking advantage of this would have been right at home.

that's all I got.

[dnalt-d2]

NEW CODE/FIT THEORY HOT OFF THE PRESS MAYBE

Hey guys, so around a week ago maybe, I asked a question

About any direct confrontations Fit may or may not have had with the Code. And since I got the answers I was looking for, here's the theory that led to me asking the question in the first place

(And also thanks to the people who actually answered me, it helped a lot)

It seems to me like the Code, for the longest time, has been purposely avoiding Fit for one reason or another. Now I have two hypotheses, one of which is way funnier to me and I kinda hope is the case. And the other which is more likely the case

So basically, the only current documented times the Code interacted with Fit before going semi-non-violent was in the early days of the QSMP, when Phil accidentally found some netherite weapons and incurred the wrath of what he thought at the time was God. (This was almost definitely just a beta design for the Code) It followed Phil as he ran off and encountered Fit, who immediately threw a bomb and killed the Code in one hit. Afterwards, it gave them a book with coords to Luzu's computer, and that was basically it.

The next time I remember the Code encountering Fit was during the fight that led to Tallulah's first death. And the weirdest thing to me at the time was that the Code didn't touch Fit. It teleported him underground for some reason. And ONLY him. Something we never really got an explanation for. At the time, I assumed it was just trying to get some of the fighters out of the way, but it didn't look like it teleported Phil or Forever, who were present as well.

After this, the Code would go on to attack Ramon, but only when Fit wasn't there, taking his final life for a bit there before it got reversed because the Code broke the rules regarding how it's supposed to attack the eggs.

And according to other viewers, it didn't seem to do anything involving Fit, up until it started dropping items related to the eggs, in addition to two clocks, both of which were dropped specifically to Fit. Fit was of course involved with the fight at the Election Dinner to a certain extent, but so was everyone, so that might have just been unavoidable. Same with the fact that Fit was present during some of the failed attempts on Pomme's life. Aside from these, the Code seems to have kept its distance from Fit for some reason (Though if I've missed any encounters, please let me know)

Now for the hypotheses

The first one that's more of a crack theory and would honestly be hilarious.

It avoids Fit because he fucking blew it to smithereens immediately upon meeting, and now he's just fucking terrified of him, avoiding him at whatever cost, only approaching him when it's unavoidable, and leaving as soon as possible. Again, I don't think this is it, but wouldn't it be funny if it was???

And for the actual theory, which someone else probably already put together, but I don't care

So I've been pretty wishy-washy on whether or not the Codes are allied with the Resistance or the Mystery Third Faction, and this unfortunately isn't helping me. Right now, the Resistance seems more likely due to Etoile's connection to it. But I think that whoever hired Fit is also part of the Resistance. Or at least that they're part of whatever group is with the Codes. And the ENTIRE reason the Code's been avoiding Fit is because whoever's in charge of it specifically told it to. Since he's working with them, they want to make sure he's unimpeded as much as possible, to the point that the Code hardly seems to have targeted Ramon specifically, and only did so when Fit wasn't there.

(Which makes it a little fucked that Fit specifically told his employer that he's hesitating because he has a son now. Which would theoretically give them more reason to want Ramon out of the way)

This would mean that the clocks may NOT have been a "The Eggs' time is up soon" warning the way a lot of people assumed, but it could've been trying to tell Fit "Hey, time's running out for you, get a move on, hurry it up." This would explain why he was the ONLY one to get the clock.

So yeah, that's my thoughts, let me know what you think or if I'm just wrong. Like I've said before, I'm not exactly a theorist, so a lot of this is new territory to me. And I haven't watched a whole lot of Fit before about a month or two ago, so a lot of what he was doing back then isn't something I've been keeping up with. So if I missed something please tell me.

*EDIT*

I HAVE JUST BEEN INFORMED THAT SOMEONE MADE CONTACT WITH FIT VIA BOOK AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT WAS PROBABLY FROM THESE GUYS. Or at least whoever's been contacting people via black chest.

(Likely the same guys who were talking to Cellbit before probably Cucurucho intercepted the messages at the tail end of the exchanges (The last chest wasn't black in that so it probably wasn't them))

SO YEAH OF COURSE THAT HAPPENED TODAY

OF COURSE IT'S PERTINENT AND I MISSED IT

THAT'S SO WONDERFUL

[lurkingteapot]

2023 post round-up/summary

Lovely @twig-tea tagged me here, so I'll try my hand.

I'd abandoned tumblr for about 4? 5? years 2016ish through 2020, had a short stint with it again in 2020, took peeks and vehemently disagreed with much of what I saw in 2021-2022, and grudgingly settled back in in 2023. I wasn't going to interact. I wasn't.

Jan-April: *crickets* I was being strong!

Then, I saw people moaning about how they'd learn Thai if only it was on Duolingo, and you know how spite can be funnelled into positivity? I did that! Result:

May

Popular: Free Thai Language Learning Resources, most popular by a landslide. This pleases me greatly, as I put a lot of work into it and always hope more people start picking up this language.

Favourite: maybe my thoughts on Ming, piggybacking off @kenmakaashi's post?

June

Popular: my musings on translation and how it relates to fannish reception of media, which was my most popular post of the year and 'broke containment', if only in a very small way. Some of the additions in the tags and reblogs are fantastic, do go have a look if you like!

Favourite: toss-up between my attempt at showing a parallel between a silly moment in Our Skyy 2 x BBS and a scrapped shot from BBS proper and this rant about Romanisations of Thai and why G**gle translate is the devil (that bit is in the conversation downthread), which let me meet @plantsarepeopletoo.

July

Popular: Summary of James Welker's 2006 essay "Beautiful, Borrowed, and Bent: “Boys’ Love” as Girls’ Love in Shōjo Manga"

Favourite: the offerings are slim here … let's go with the one in which I once more was salty about the way folks talk about BL

August

Popular: Only Friends' Ray isn't just The Drunkard, but also The One Who's basically Given Up On Himself, as per his title card (this one was so popular it got stolen and reposted – without credit or permission – to twitter 🙃)

Favourite: Thinking about Drama, the Romance genre, and tropes, and how those relate to our perception of BL (good additions from various folks in the notes; conversation with @visualtaehyun in reblogs and @twig-tea in the replies).

September

Popular: IFYLITA Ep 6 poem context notes

Favourite: toss-up between complaining about badly machine translated content in Love in Translation and musing on the name of Khun Yai's favourite bar

October

Popular: my long-winded answer to @zimmbzon's ask "Hi, how would a non-binary person (me) get around the binary gender rules and vocab in Thai?"

Favourite: uhhh … maybe my musings on honorific translations in kimi ni wa todokanai? (yes, technically a reblog from sideblog, shh)

November

Popular: most popular was this throwaway therapy vent containing food for thought and while I guess this meme is mostly fannish I'm linking it anyway because it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to (or something)

Favourite: when I called out the resemblance between the Last Twilight trailer and Intouchables (2011). Literally no one cared, but then @my-rose-tinted-glasses independently came in strong with receipts as soon as the actual first episode aired and made me feel validated af.

December

Popular: Why I'm pretty sure Last Twilight's "fried rice/false rice" joke was funnier in Thai

Favourite: the saga of the songs in Ep 4 of Last Twilight

I didn't do any round-up posts, but I'll include the other category @twig-tea added:

Five other posts that I want to highlight because I can:

BL Favourites Tag Game (July 2023)

Link to fujoshi.info with information on WHY you should check out that site if you're interested in having an informed opinion on BL and the genre's history.

contemporary issues in Thailand as mentioned in Only Friends ep 1

Thoughts on code-switching in Step by Step

Reply to @mynameisnotthepoint's comment-via-ask on my anti viki rant

I'm not going to tag anyone because I'm completely lost – I was mostly off tumblr for nearly three weeks; if you made a post like this you'd like me to see, please link me/tag me! <3

[knightobreath]

I am once again reminded you are a real human being

My bad gang I’m sorry

Do not let them get to you

compiling these 3 specifically because theyre all probably about the fact that i said i was tired of getting intentionally trollish asks, so let me explain myself a bit more xP. its a lot because i love to talk

you guys shouldnt be too sorry! i did intentionally encourage these a few times, especially during the #mod 🫒's purgatory thing. because well, as a part of what i do on my blogs and streams I am a clown. i intentionally play as a sort of over-exaggerated feed-the-trolls fool because i think it makes me funnier. but the main issue is that I didn't set a proper boundary between intentionally goofy oliver and genuine human being oliver. This is a direct consequence of having everything be on my personal blog and not relegated to sperate spaces.

the sheer volume of asks ive been getting lately has made keeping up difficult and well. guys im kind of tired of answering nonsense or trollish asks. i'm not witty enough! i'm out of jokes! i've been riffing off of anons every day for like a month! and it is my fault for not just deleting stuff but i do appreciate when you guys want to joke around with me

okay. uh here is the part that is the Straws that Broke the Camel's Back. I can't tell when you guys are joking anymore. I can't gauge how much of the anon "hate" is jokes and how much of it is genuine. I can only tell for sure if it's like my friend saying it. If it isn't clear to me that a friend sent in an ask, it reads as if a stranger sent it. And I can't tell if a stranger is being genuine or not because I don't know you. a key example is the person who said something along the lines of "of course you're a skeleton if you're a vegetarian" which didn't read as a friendly jab but rather a stranger making assumptions about my diet to blame me for my body issues. i assume the anon just saw that those were both things the funny ask answering guy was talking about so they were free game for making fun of. kind of my fault though because as i said, there isnt enough of a boundary between when im being comedic and when i'm being genuine.

so like. tldr in conclusion i love receiving and answering asks and I did sort of have this policy of responding to Every Single One that I just can't do anymore and now I'm suffering from the horrible affliction that is "Bit That's Gone On For Way To Long" with a side effect of not wanting to go back on my word. and now that i actually want to be Real on Main people are going to try and bring it back to jokingly antagonizing me not realizing that it just becomes actual antagonizing when it's not about something i consider a joke. so im just gonna place down some boundaries

streams are a good time to send in silly asks, im in bit mode for that

i also dont take anything seriously on the oscc but please dont bother the other mods about it

im not responding to every ask anymore. Lol. if i cant think of anything funny its going into the void

might also start blocking anons who say shit that is Weird ! no more taking literally everything in good faith

you guys can still send silly asks i just want you to like. roll it back on the whole jokingly being mean to me thing. friends are exempt of course just make it clear that its YOU and not Internet Stranger #66951284

anyways love yall but also i dont know yall. or. most of yall. i accept the anon's apology👍

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

More TEXT CONVOS!! (Also I want you to know that you can disregard the drabbles ! I just hope you're doing well and taking care of yourself  💗💗) 💺 anon

🍊) My little (brat) princess

🍊: I hid a bag in our closet. If you find it, do not open it. 🍒: Well now I kinda want to look for it 🍊: Please don't. 🍒: :( 🍊: I'm serious. 🍒: What even is inside? 🍊: It's a surprise.

🍒: About to take a bath, alone 🍒: No one here to wash my hair for me 🍒: Or leave kisses on my neck and shoulder 🍒: Or run their hands down my body 🍒: HOW ARE YOU AT THE FRONT DOOR ALREADY??

🍊: My love for you is like diarrhea 🍊: I can't hold it in 🍒: Am I supposed to say something nice?

🍊: How would you feel if I shaved? 🍒: Please just tell me you didn't 🍊: Well... 🍊: Yeah I was just kidding love 🍊: WHY DID YOU TELL LEMON WE'RE GETTING DIVORCED?

🍒: How much until your cute ass gets home?? 🍊: I'll be there in less than an hour ❤️ 🍒: Prepare yourself because the moment you step in I'm gonna jump in your arms and attack your pretty face with kisses 🍒: I can't wait to cuddle and hear you complain about the mission 🍊: I'm so in love with you

🍊: [1 image attached] 🍒: Screaming, crying, shaking, shitting, pissing, banging my head againts the wall, ripping my hair out, clawing out my heart, slamming my fists on the table 🍒: You look lovely

🍒: Hello my mandarin 🍊: We're not doing this

🍒: I think Tan hates me 🍊: Excuse me? What made you believe that? 🍒: That was meant for Lem 🍊: Why would you tell him you think I hate you? 🍒: Because he's very funny and I love to gossip with him 🍊: I'm funnier than him actually. And that still doesn't answer my question 🍒: You didn't ask me to be your valentine :( 🍊: That's because we've been married for 8 years, I assumed you're already my valentine 🍒: You have to ask :( 🍊: Fine. Will you be my valentine? 🍒: Yes :) [Tan reacted with ❤️]

[Unknown number]: Hello my beautiful wife. I am curently writing this message to apologize and ask for your forgiveness. Please unblock me. Yours, Tangerine. 🍒: ENOUGH

🍋) Silly goofy guy

🍋: How's my favorite person in the world doing? 🍒: What did you do? 🍋: Jumping to conclusions I see 🍒: Lemon what did you do? 🍋: Promise you won't get mad 😆 🍒: I promise 😊😊😊🔪😊😊 🍋: I broke your heels 🍒: ... 🍒: Well did you at least take some photos?? 🍋: You know it 🤪 🍋: [5 images attached]

🍋: Should we play minecraft? I wanna finish our train 🍒: Tan said he doesn't want to :( 🍋: Tell him to mind his business

🍋: I was drinking bubble tea and choked on the balls so I spilled the drink everywhere 🍋: Now Tan won't even look at me

🍋: I've been looking for my gun for 2 hours only to realize I don't have it anymore 🤣🤣🤣🤣💃🥳😆😼😼

🍒: He's my little anal ☺️ 🍒: ANGEL 🍒: ANGEL I MEANT ANGEL 🍋: THE WAY I SCREAMED 🍒: DON'T SHOW THIS TO HIM 🍋: HE'S LOOKING AT ME NOOO 😭😭

🍊🍋🍒) The fruit bowl

🍒: Do you ever just 🍋: Yeah, but 🍋: Yk? 🍒: Damn man I sure do 🍊: Is this why you two created this group chat? 🍋: Actually it's so you can like and subscribe 🤯👽❓ 🍒: But first, a word from our sponsor!! 🍊: I'm so done with you both

🍋: Should I dye my hair? 🍊: Absolutely fucking not 🍒: Pookie no it won't look as good as it does now!! 🍋: Love you guys 🫶 🍋: I already bought the hair dye 🍊: WHY DID YOU EVEN ASK? 🍋: I'm in a silly goofy mood 🍋: So green or blue? 🍊: I will smash your head through a window 🍒: LEM LISTEN TO US!! 🍋: Yo I kinda look like the joker

🍒: [2 images attached, it's photos of Tan and Cherry hugging] 🍒: These look so good! 🍒: Lem best wingman AND photographer 🍋: Fucking finally. It was getting annoying 🍊: Would you stop it already? 🍒: Yeah, it wasn't THAT bad 🍋: [1 image attached, text convo of Tan talking about Cherry to Lem] 🍊: DELTE THST RIGHT FUCKING NOW 🍒: 🤣 🍋: Oh I know you're not laughing Cherry 🍋: [1 image attached, text convo of Cherry gushing about Tan to Lem] 🍒: THAT'S MESSED UP

+ bonus 🍊: Made her laugh today and I can't get it out of my head 🍊: It's driving me nuts 🍊: I must've looked fucking stupid the way I just stared at her 🍋: Talking about her again? 🍊: Who else do I ever talk about you nob 🍋: So did you ask her out? 🍊: What do you think? 🍋: I'm thinking no because you're a pussy 🍊: Fuck off

🍒: Ok so I was talking to him earlier today and he just put his hand on my shoulder and got really close to my face but I feel like he was mostly looking at my lips. Maybe it was just my imagination 🍒: Anyway, does he do this to everyone? 🍋: Girl

hii angel!!! I really do want to be able to write them for you, I’ll keep them in my inbox and will def try to do one of them, but if not, keep them noted down and I’ll get around to them eventually 💓💓

THESE ARE SO FUN!!!?? loved them all, especially..

^ why would he tell us if he doesn’t want us snooping??????

^ lem would be the mediator, trying to rationalise tan not to shave (even if he was messing) he doesn’t want to see his bro with a baby face

^ ALL OF THAT😭😭 and then, you look lovely. I HAVE A PICTURE IN MY HEAD AND I NEED TO ADD IT bc it works well and obviously bc it’s hot 😩😩😩😩😩😩

^ tan would be acting like he doesn’t know lem😭

^😭😭😭😭😭 we just have random half conversations (but we each no exactly what the other is thinking) and it just annoys tan sm. “what did you think about that thing?” “that was so crazy. what did you think about that other thing? not that thing but another thing?” “holy shit man, but did you see?” “RIGHT? and then?” “omg😭”

^ lem got the receipts 😭😭😭😭

^😭😭😭😭 “bc you’re a pussy” and “girl” lmao

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

I enjoyed that latest Taskmaster episode a lot. I don’t know why I’ve hardly written any posts about this season since it started, as it’s been really good. Here’s a brief summary of my updates opinions four episodes in:

- The main thing I wanted for Nick was a chance to show off his magician-related skills. He got that chance in the tension task… it did not go as I’d predicted. However, he has made up for breaking my predictions by turning out to be the sweetest person in the world. It’s been a while since we’ve had a proper cinnamon roll on Taskmaster. I think his gentle banter with Greg continues to be the funniest thing he brings, it’s delightful every time.

- Steve Pemberton won me over in the first couple of episodes, but then lost me pretty hard by admitting he broke that egg on purpose, I must admit I am now pretty focused on hoping he loses specifically as punishment for that. I got mad at him then for sacrificing the task in order to play to the TV edit/try too hard to be funny – he’s done similar things several times since, like imposing extra rules in the Mr. Blobby task and writing puns in the hand task. It is not in the spirit of Taskmaster! He’s probably basically fine but I want him to lose so that future Taskmaster contestants understand you do not come here to perform, you come here to play. I don’t even just hold that belief because of how competitive I am, I also think it’s much funnier if you let you and throw yourself right into the game, which he’s not quite doing, and it disproportionately annoys me.

- I find Sophie Willan’s unpredictability entertaining. Usually she’s shit at the tasks, and every once in a while she’ll be great. She has no idea what’s going on almost ever but apparently has a good eye for art. She talks to horses. She nearly drowns in a river that only goes up to her waist. She demonstrates sexy dances that literally no one asked her to do? She has never seen this show before. You never know what she’s going to bring to the table next.

- All right, Joanne McNally’s won me around. She went in with a significant deficit in my opinion of her because I say some quite shitty things on a different TV show once, but four episodes in, she’s been entertaining enough for me to forgive it (I mean… I don’t actually forgive the sentiment expressed, but I can decide I like her enough to choose to assume it was just a misguided attempt to be funny). She’s breathing life into tense situations and tension into situations where the task explicitly requests it. She’s also never seen the show before but she’s throwing herself all the way into it. She’s consistently funny. She’s sharp and knows what’s going on, task-wise, almost all the time, while making it look fairly effortless. She didn’t do the prep work but I respect that she still showed up to play.

- Well, we haven’t had the full-on meltdowns from Robins, but I kind of knew that would happen, as they caught him just as he was moving into his “sober and more enlightened” era. It will always be a loss that Taskmaster never cast Farthinggate-era Robins when they had the chance, but I’m actually surprised at how much I’m enjoying “on his best behaviour Robins”. Mainly because it is visibly incredibly difficult for him to not have competitive meltdowns and to play it as chill as he is (which still isn’t very chill, it’s just chill compared to what he used to be), and the tension of that difficulty can be very funny. Maybe it’s like how people trying to avoid swearing on the radio is funnier than just hearing them swear. I’ve heard John Robins have plenty of proper competitive meltdowns – it is a new and uniquely entertaining thing to watch him sit there and try to physically force every nerve in his body to not do that. A whole new level of the pointless intensity. Those team tasks especially have potential for it. Also, they’ve used the same joke several times now, but I don’t mind at all. They could keep implying that John’s fucked up a task and giving him time to panic before saying it’s fine – that might get old after 100 or so episodes, but 10 episodes wouldn’t be nearly enough for that to stop being funny. I’d be fine if they keep it up all season. I desperately hope he wins but I also hope they torture him.

I have to admit I may have got too into the competition too early in this season, because normally it isn’t until the last few episodes, if the scores are tight, when I start to get really concerned about whether it’ll end up going my way. But yesterday, while watching episode four, I found myself genuinely stressed during every task because of how much I want John Robins to beat Steve Pemberton. I mean, I want him to win, but I specifically want him to beat Steve Pemberton, because I do not want someone to get away with being smugly too good to throw himself entirely into Taskmaster. I’m too invested. I knew John had gone in one point ahead of both Steve and Joanne, and I was keeping score in my head throughout the episode, of how far each score led him to extend his lead over both of them. I don’t usually count points as the episode goes along until episodes 9 or 10.

Most tasks I’m less interested in John’s total score and more interested in his score relative to Steve. I realize Joanne is also competitive and a threat to win and I want him to beat her too, but I don’t think she’s as likely to win overall, she’s not as competitive in general and the only reason she’s so close to the top right now is she got a lucky 5-0 that’s not likely to repeat itself. Also, if she wins I’ll be disappointed, but not nearly as disappointed as I’ll be if Steve does.

Anyway, I thought episode 4 was great fun. It does feel a bit more “simmering” than some other Taskmaster seasons – I almost wrote “gentle” but I don’t think that’s quite true, because there seems to be a lot going on. It’s just not all being shouted the way it is in some seasons. I like it, I enjoy the unpredictable mystery of Sophie Willan and the incomprehensible charm of Nick Mohammed and the understated arrogance of Steve Pemberton (in a “fuck this guy but he makes a good villain” way) and the simmering anger of John Robins. Also Joanne McNally is there, cheerfully shouting whatever thoughts occur to her, and they’re almost always funny.

One note I do have to mention in writing a post about Taskmaster s17e04 – if you have a good friend who’s recently quit drinking due to quite a severe and life-ruining alcohol addiction, with rum as his drink of choice for a number of years, you should maybe not trick him into drinking rum on national television even if it’s non-alcoholic? Ed Gamble said on the podcast that he thinks the rest of them got regular rum and only John got special non-alcoholic rum, and I think/hope Ed was wrong about that, because you really shouldn’t trick people into drinking hard liquor at work even if they’re not alcoholics in recovery. Especially since any of those people could have gone all in and drank the whole glove for a laugh. Going out of their way to procure special non-alcoholic rum is a pretty weird thing to do when Ribena has been used on the show before and has to be cheaper/easier to find/avoids the thorny issue of alcohol altogether. I found it funny that they threw pickled onions in there, because anyone who’s listened to John Robins on the radio will know he’s obsessed with pickled onions; I figured Alex added that as a sort of in-joke with his friend, to the point where it’s almost unfair that by being friends with Alex, John gets an item on the task tailored to things he’s most likely to recognize. But Alex will also know that rum was John Robins’ drink of choice for a long time (I mean, I know it, so I'm pretty sure his real-life drinking buddy Alex Horne does), which sort of makes putting rum in the task look like an incredibly twisted and fucked up version of that joke. I'm sure it was just an oversight, but still, pretty big oversight. Even if they didn’t have an alcoholic in the cast, why bring alcohol into it at all when you could just use some other drink that starts with R?

Having said that, does anyone know if non-alcoholic whiskey can replicate the burning sensation of the real thing, or does it just try for the taste? Asking for a friend who's trying to give up whiskey but really misses it and specifically misses its burning qualities and that friend is me. I actually hadn't thought about non-alcoholic hard liquor until Alex mentioned it on the show, I just knew about non-alcoholic beer and wine. I might look into that. But anyway, they probably shouldn't feed it to people who are at work without warning.

[dracocheesecake]

Dad! Kai Headcanons

Well, marriage wasn't something he thought of too seriously before the war- and during, it was just a far-off possibility, something he could worry about later; maybe after it was over, he might meet a nice girl or guy or something, settle down as Supreme Warlord of China, have some calves, why not?

Theoretically, in this AU, something like this happened. One way or another, he's now a daddy!

Kai, at first, doesn't really know what to think. Ok, he's done it, he has a kid...now what?- But as soon as he holds that little bundle...ok, he's still very, very unsure, but at least he knows that he'll both kill and die for them.

Extremely gentle when the kiddie is this small. He holds them like they're made of the most fragile glass and almost doesn't move at all. He just sort of cradles them in his big arms and just stares at them the entire time.

The kids probably pull on his facial hair all the time. He doesn't mind that much, though it does hurt.

When they're a little older he's always tossing them into the air, catching them again, playfully acting like they're heavy and he's going to drop them (mostly to scare the other parent because he's a jerk), etc.

Play fights them and pretends that the little "attacks" actually hurt- it's funnier the smaller the kid is. The smaller and younger the child, the more he exaggerates the effectiveness of the "attack" (ex: baby grabs his finger and he pretends the kid's breaking his entire arm).

Bonus to previous point: He uses that as an excuse to get out of doing dishes ("Will you do dishes now?" "Can't. Kid broke my arm. I'm grievously injured.")

Actually surprisingly patient with screaming and crying and tantrums (as in, he doesn't yell at/threaten/shake the kid no matter how annoyed he is) but he does have a limit. He'll try to soothe the crying at first, but might pass them off to Oogway/the other parent if it's too much for him to deal with at the moment.

Is the type to stay up all night with the baby/babies, even if it was supposed to be the other parent's "turn"- his partner needs sleep too.

When he thinks no one's looking...you know he's cooing to the little fluff ball, tickling that round tummy, and kissing those chubby cheeks. If you saw this happening...no you didn't.

The kids are always riding on his shoulders when they're small. He's also always picking them up or slinging them around like sacks of potatoes.

Oogway is the godfather of the child(ren). Kai wouldn't let him be anything less. Oogway is definitely the fun, slightly mysterious uncle who tells the best stories and jokes and also spills all of the tea about some of Kai's more embarrassing moments.

When the child(ren) is older, however, he becomes less outwardly affectionate. The most he might do might be ruffling their hair, patting them on the head/shoulder, etc.

He can be a bit strict, especially in terms of discipline- he's not cruel, just stern; he has a very rigid nontolerance policy towards nonsense.

Might be a little softer towards his daughter(s).

Is actually pretty protective of them. Seriously no one so much as raises their voice at his babies without suffering some severe consequences.

If the kid takes an interest in fighting he'll definitely start training them; but he does not go easy on them by any means. The battlefield is unkind- he knows better than anyone, how could he fail his child(ren) by not preparing them for that harsh reality?

Will also not hesitate to brutally roast his own child(ren) should the occasion arise, but playfully.

Will also make "motherf**er" jokes constantly (when they're old enough to understand). If they try to roast him back he'll pull out the classic "I sleep with your mom/dad".

Also will embarrass his child(ren) on purpose when they're teens. At that point he'll finally understand why his parents did it to him: it's fun.

Will be really prideful about his child(ren)'s accomplishments. He'll constantly boast about them, claiming that "they probably get it from me".

Also, for your consideration: