#I think they are all very queer I do think so

[drdemonprince]

Yo! I'm writing a class assignment on why Internet Archive is so right for breaching copyright laws and why the court is so so wrong for siding with publishers, and I wanted to talk about some authors who encourage others to pirate their work because so little of the money from book sales actually goes to the author.

Do you have any writing on this philosophy?

Thanks!!

I don't have any formally published writing on it, but you can site this message as "personal correspondence" (yes that's a thing in APA/MLA/Chicago style whatever).

I encourage people to pirate my work because I care first and foremost about the ideas within the books to reach an audience. I started writing for a general audience because I cared deeply about making information more accessible, and removing financial barriers to access is a core element of that. I also write work that targets populations that tend to be very poor -- disabled people, queer people, overworked people, and so on. It's vitally important to me that they can read the books, which means not requiring that they pay. Philosophically, I recognize that my ideas come from a long lineage of scholarship from other thinkers, including many disabled activists who always made their work available for free, and I don't deserve to profit from that thinking while others can't. I don't believe an idea can be owned, and like all forms of property, I believe intellectual property to be theft.

The act of writing is labor and I do think that deserves to be valued and compensated -- to wit, it bears mentioning that most authors do not earn any money from book sales. In order for an author to receive royalties, a book must first sell enough copies to "earn out" its advance, which may require selling anywhere from 10,000 to 100,000 copies, depending on the size of the advance payment. And 95% of books sell fewer than 5,000 copies ever. This means the vast majority of authors never see a single cent from a book sale. Even if their books do "earn out", they are only looking at about 12.5% of the profits in royalties after that point. So it's hardly a lucrative venture. There's really no reason for me to be invested in the commercial success of my books, from a labor rights perspective, and certainly not from an intellectual or scholarly one. So I always tell people, steal, steal away, with my blessing.

[babyangelsky]

Faith as a love language and why I want Ju Yeong to give Do Hoe his cross necklace

Let me preface this by saying that one, my interpretations are drawn heavily from my own personal experience as well as the culture I was raised in and two, that this is going to be very rambly and maybe not make a whole lot of sense to anyone but me. But @respectthepetty encouraged me to get this out of my brain so here we are.

In order to explain what I mean in the title of this post and actually get into the meat of it, there's two other things I need explain first. There are layers to this so please bear with me.

The first thing is that I am not and have never really been a practicing Catholic. I believe in god and have a very loose, very personal system of spiritual belief but I am not religious. My grandmother is Catholic however, a very devout one, and since she helped to raise me I would say I was partially raised Catholic. Emphasis on the partially because my beautiful mother in her infinite wisdom (and due entirely to her own religious trauma) felt it was important to give me a choice on the matter and figure out my faith for myself, which I love her dearly for.

(She also once infamously refused to kiss the ring of the local very important priest in the village she grew up in which is one of my favorite things about her)

However, I've learned that even if you are given a choice on whether or not religion will play any part in your life, that does not save you from developing religious trauma. Especially if you also happen to be queer and especially if you don't adhere dogmatically to the widely accepted--and arbitrary--set of rules that determine whether you are considered a "good (insert faith here)".

The second thing has to do with cross necklaces and why being given one is a very specific loving gesture.

I lived in Mexico for a while a couple of years ago. On the day that I was due to come back to the States, my grandma gave me a cross necklace. She didn't just give me a cross necklace, she gave me her necklace that had been custom made for her. She wanted me to have a safe flight and get home in one piece so she gave it to me.

I have worn that necklace every single day for the past two years. If I happen to wear another necklace for outfit reasons, I put my cross in my pocket. It's always around my neck or on my body. Always. And the thing is, I don't wear it to signify my belief god.

In the broader sense of faith and what it means to people, giving someone a necklace like that holds a lot of weight. Taking something off of your body, your 'self', that you trust to keep you safe and that represents your faith and your beliefs and then putting it on someone you love to keep them safe is such a visceral expression of love. It becomes a symbol of faith in a different way.

As I've established, I'm not devout like my grandma is. The necklace doesn't represent to me what it does to her. I wear it because doing so makes me feel loved and safe because she gave it to me, not because I have faith of my own.

Now, having said allllll of that.

Ju Yeong's cross necklace has been established to primarily represent not his faith, but his family's expectations. Expectations that he hasn't lived up to and that have turned that cross into a heavy symbol of his failure that keeps him shackled at all times except when he chooses to take it off. And when he chooses to take it off matters.

He took it off when he confessed to Do Hoe and again when he slept with him because in those moments he wants to be free of that burden, free of those expectations, free to just love Do Hoe without having to think about anything else. Not even god.

Because even if the necklace isn't primarily a symbol of Ju Yeong's faith, it still is a symbol of his faith or rather, the faith that he had no choice but to adhere to when he became a pastor's son. That's what makes Do Hoe misunderstand what it means for Ju Yeong to take it off when he's with him. He interprets it as Ju Yeong being ashamed, as wanting to hide his sin, as only allowing himself to love Do Hoe when god isn't watching. He's wrong, of course, but he doesn't know that. Yet. (Petty explained it better go read that post)

We haven't really gotten into Ju Yeong's relationship with his faith and with only two episodes left I don't think we will, and that's a shame because I think recontextualizing what the necklace means to him and what his faith means to him would help him heal.

(Which is something I believe anyone who has religious trauma should do at some point in their life, especially if they're queer. Religion is so often weaponized against people and something that's used to make them feel inadequate and ashamed and like they aren't allowed to draw comfort from it unless they fall in line with what it asks of them. We always think of it being used that way specifically against queer people but that isn't always the case. I'm not out to my family and I once had a relative look me in the eyes and tell me I was going to hell for not going to mass.)

Really it would help both of them heal because even though Do Hoe wasn't the one with the religious upbringing, the necklace is still making him feel the same sort of inadequacy and shame he thinks Ju Yeong feels.

Which is why I want Ju Yeong to give Do Hoe his cross necklace.

Recontextualizing what it means, allowing it to be a symbol of his faith and nothing more, and making the conscious decision to take it off of his body and put it on Do Hoe so Do Hoe knows that he's loved without shame would mean everything to me personally.

Faith is a love language. It's why Mexican mothers pin medals with the Virgin of Guadalupe on them to their newborns' onesies, why parents choose auspicious names for their babies, why the very first prayer Christian and Catholic children are taught is the guardian angel prayer, why grandmothers do the sign of the cross over their children and grandchildren and end every conversation with "que dios te acompañe", and why we put crosses on the people we love.

[aziraphales-library]

hi there! I was wondering if you had any ineffable wives fics where one of them is trans fem. I'm hoping to find something that reminds me of me and my girlfriend :D any rating would be appreciated. thank you so much, have an amazing day!

Hello! Here are some ineffable wives where one of them is trans...

I only want to look in your eyes by orphan_account (E)

Crowley was laid out on the bed, her shirt off, her chest already flushed with eagerness. Her long, luxurious red curls spread out around her head, and her eyes - beautiful liquid golden things, glowing now with joy - made Aziraphale think of the sun. “Love,” Aziraphale said, and leaned over Crowley, down from where she straddled Crowley’s thighs, kissing her forehead tenderly. “You’re so beautiful.” Aziraphale rides her wife, and they're both so full of love they think they'll explode.

till love have all his rites by marveling_under_an_open_sky (G)

“Hello there,” a voice said. “Do you need a hand?” Crowley straightened up and began to turn with a firm rebuttal already on her tongue. She might be skinny enough to give a sunflower stalk a run for its money, but she��d been wrangling plants for years, thank you very much, and she was perfectly capable of— Jesus fuck. The author just really loves butches, all right?

Creative Ways to Use Your Planning Period by The_Bentley (E)

“We have an hour.  You wanna?”  Crowley whispered in Aziraphale’s ear before leaving a rather chaste kiss on her softly rounded cheekbone. “Here?  Are you out of your mind?” “No.  Nobody’s going to come around, and we can certainly make sure if they do, they’ll find they have more important business than opening up this door.”  Crowley was walking slowly into Aziraphale, pushing her towards the teacher’s desk at the front of the room, ideas forming in her head. When Warlock leaves for his lunch period, his tutors have some sneaky fun of their own.

The Art of Human Nature by IneffableDoll (T)

Crowley is a painter who has only ever had an eye for nature. That is, until a client named Aziraphale commissions her for a painting to boost her self-confidence, and Crowley discovers that her client is as beautiful as the Earth itself. Then she goes and catches feelings, because she’s a disaster.

The Diary of Ms A.Z. Fell, From The Age of Eight to the Present Day by punkbean (G)

"My name is Aziraphale Fell and I am a girl and I am eight years old. I am writing this for a school project to practice writing. I think this is stupid as I can write quite well, but I like Ms Smith so I am doing it anyway." Aziraphale's school diary quickly becomes a place for her to chronicle the friendship between her and her new best friend, Anthony Crowley.

A Common or Garden Romance? by die_traumerei (M)

A nature walk queer mixer? It's not Aziraphale's usual thing, but that's described the last few years, so off she goes, and even makes a friend. Crowley's not like anyone she's ever known before, and that's a good thing. Friendship turns to love, and eventually they even realize that, and so a life together beings to grow, in a love story that's very straightforward, and also anything but.

I recommend checking out die_traumerei's ao3 as they have a bunch of ineffable wives in which one of them is trans!

- Mod D

[hacash]

The argument demonstrated here against voting for Kamala has a couple of major, and I do mean major, logical falldowns.

Number one: saying 'I'm not advocating for Trump, I'm advocating that the people running a genocide lose an election' overlooks the crucial fact that only one of two people will be running the USA in January: Trump, or Kamala. That is just a fact. The fact that I routinely see multiple people from outside the US posting about this topic because they see US citizens either ignoring or being unaware of this fact is, frankly, a lot.

So I feel like at this point if you claim anything else could happen, you are being wilfully ignorant of the facts about how your country is run. Either Kamala or Trump is going to be running one of the most powerful countries in the world, and as a US citizen it is your job to decide which one that it. If you advocate for the Democrats to lose the election, you are advocating for the Republicans and Trump to win. It's that simple.

Number Two: 'You made it through four years of Trump and you can do it again'. Interesting point there! I feel like the woman who was killed at the Charlottesville far-right rally, the thousands who died during Trump's mishandling of COVID, any and all vulnerable immigrants in the US, the women put at risk by having abortions and certain pregnancy complications due to Roe vs Wade being dismantled, the queer kids in places like Florida vulnerable to homophobia and transphobia, any number of people put at risk by Trump slashing food safety regulations left right and centre, the Ukrainians who will be even more exposed to Russian imperialist attacks once Trump withdraws support, everyone whose lives were in danger when a fucking right-wing mob stormed the Capitol, not to mention everyone around the fucking world who may just, just be a little unsettled by Trump's deep desire to start dropping nuclear bombs on anyone who pisses him off might want a word with you there.

And that's certainly not to mention the Palestinians you claim to be supporting, who will most certainly suffer when Trump ramps up his support of Netanyahu to eleven (more on that later).

Look, I'm not saying that if the Democrats win peace will reign and everything will be perfect, but come the fuck on. I don't know if the people making this argument are literally so young that you weren't really politically conscious during Trump's presidency, but please don't insult those of us who did have to sit through the whole shitshow by saying crap like this. I don't care how sick you are of hearing it, elections mean choosing the least shitty option. If you still need it explained to you that Harris is less shitty than Trump, that is a you problem.

Number Three: 'some words and hype around what people think Trump will do' - No. I'm sorry, just no. We went through this the last time Trump became president. Trump has already shown us who he is. This is not a matter of our imaginations working overtime, this is an understanding of what will happen: based both on Trump's previous words and what he has already done in the past. Showing even more support to Netanyahu, encouraging and aiding him in his work, is not something 'people think Trump will do', it's something Trump will do. For all that you may dislike the Democrats (and I think @qqueenofhades had some good posts about Harris/Biden at least making attempts to push for peace in the room) it is bizarre at this point to pretend like Trump won't be significantly worse when it comes to supporting Netanyahu's actions.

This is a man who recognised Jerusalem as the undivided capital of Israel (leading to widespread condemnation around the world, including the UN, Arab League, and EU), said that Israel should keep on building settlements in the West Bank without stopping, and, once again, has been pals with Netanyahu since the very beginning. This is a man who thinks the answer to any problem is to send in the nukes and the gunboats, and who has made his disdain for Muslim lives painfully fucking clear. (I doubt very much that his respect for Jewish lives is that much better, but that's another post). If you don't realise that having Trump in charge of US foreign policy is only going to dramatically worsen the situation for Palestine, that is, once again, just wilful ignorance at this point.

-

“Trump would be the worst,” Asmaa Nimilaat, 50, said from a hospital where thousands of people are sheltering in Deir el-Balah, an area in central Gaza. “But any candidate that becomes president will not support Palestinians.” - from the Al Jazeera article further up the post.

I feel like people wilfully focus on the second half of the quote when they should be paying attention to the first. Yes: as things stand, neither political party is doing wonders for Palestine, and that sucks. But Trump would be the worse. For America and for Palestine, and for the rest of the world. There is literally only two futures open to us now: one where Trump wins, and one where Harris wins. And Trump would be the worst. At this point, trying to keep some sort of moral superiority in excusing not doing everything you can to keep Trump out by claiming 'we don't know he'll be bad/the Democrats still suck/I don't want complicity in American imperialism' is, quite frankly, ignorant and inward-looking at this point. You have an actual chance not only to benefit yourselves (by voting in a leader who is at least halfway decent) but to make life even a little bit better for people in numerous countries around the world (who will now get to deal with the less awful version of America dominating the world stage), and the notion that some people might actively choose not to is, frankly, staggering to me.

[ghostbite0]

stepping in 2 say my piece from a queer perspective of this btw because im an itty bit unnormal BUT

i think trying 2 apply standard nuclear family dynamics/roles etc onto demon slayer characters (specifically the hashira) is counterproductive 2 the characters and story as a whole!! like Yes you have Some hashira who r more parental in behavior HOWEVER i think 2 view them as a parent figure rather than a guardian figure reduces a lot of them down to nuclear family traits! like it or not kny has queer elements to it even if it probably wasnt intended (emphasis on found family, a very queer trope, as well as the fact that the corps is legit a bunch of people w similar hardships and struggles coming together to defeat a mutual threat, which is also symbolic of the queer community)

anywaysanyways . there’s a difference between “guardian” and “parent”. guardian 2 me is essentially… taking on the protective role of a parent, yes, but u dont have, like… whatsit. i dont want to say “care” because guardian is also a very caring role that also involves looking after someone but it’s just Different in nature, if that makes any sense? so i think to place ESPECIALLY characters like shinobu, who’s as some have already pointed out, “maternal” nature is just her unhealthy coping mechanism and a projection of kanae, it washes out her character so so so much!!!!

if u WANT to place some kind of labels for family dynamics onto kny characters “guardian” works just fine because that is what they Are. “sibling” also works just fine too methinks.

idk if this is just a whole lot of Nothing but! kny mischaracterization gets on my nerves blegh

-loti

FINALLY SOMEONE MENTIONS THE NUCLEAR FAMILY STUFF ‼️‼️‼️🗣️ OH MY GOD YES

i completely agree anon loti… wiping a tear from my eyes… guardian…

i see people do this a lot where they take a found family and try to assign them roles like parents/siblings/etc— and it is okay to give them these bonds on their own, but to say like— “shinobu is the mom of the hashira” or “tengen is the cool uncle of the hashira” is pretty redundant and it ultimately goes back to stereotyping ): sometimes a found family is just a group of people. they dont need labels. they love each other and thats all that matters

i know i usually refer to gyomei as the dad of the hashira but i love guardian a lot more. im absolutely gonna use that from now on. its so much more fitting for his character

[thegayloragenda]

Okay I want to put all of my current predictions out here (these are subject to change, of course):

• I think this show is going to get a little more colorful or a little bit more gay with each show because I think she’s running out the clock.

• I am CLOWNING for an eventual pronoun change during surprise songs.

• I think Karlie will probably show up again. And if she shows up for the rep announcement I will die dead.

• I’m also clowning for a rainbow variation of every outfit or perhaps a debutation variation if she plans to drop them together. Maybe a karma outfit. Idk. I don’t really know what is coming next in regard to music or if there will be anything (what if she just went black out for a year and then dropped rep next December 😂).

• I’m split because I think she’s either going to continue this Travis stunt until the Super Bowl or she’ll break up with him while on tour (if it’s real that’s totally fine but the way this relationship has been crammed down our throats gives me the ick so bad). I have no idea how that breakup will go down especially since they’ve made an entire Christmas movie about this relationship.

• I’m still assuming we’ll get a proposal / breakup.

Overall, I don’t think Taylor Swift would pander to this side of the fandom the way she has if she didn’t have a plan to blow everything up. I assume she’s a good person. I assume she’s supportive of the fans who see her. I’ve been in this fandom long enough to know what it looks like when she’s in the closet and when she isn’t. The closet isn’t even glass anymore. The closet is just invisible at this point so if she’s just a straight girl who loves rainbows, she’s absolutely diabolical in the very worst ways.

And before anyone comes for me, yes she can be bi or pan or whatever she wants to be. I don’t care about muses or labels. I notice patterns and I can’t help but connect the dots. I see bi and lesbian dresses and her calling attention to them so that’s where my focus is. I care about freedom for her (whatever that looks like) and I also think some clarity about who she actually is will help a lot of us decide if we want to keep supporting her and giving her our money. I’m placing my bet on her being who I think she is so I’m here to support her until the end of this roller coaster ride.

I will make a post on the final day of this tour but I just want to say this: I have had the TIME OF MY LIFE in this labyrinth. I have made lifelong friends because of this side of the fandom. Thank you to ALL of my friends on here who have followed me and commented on my posts and said such kind things. Thank you to everyone who has messaged me their insights and theories. And finally, thank you to my fans who have messaged me your homophobic, brain-rotted hate comments. Good luck in the aftermath!

And to Taylor (if you ever see this), thank you for keeping my mind so stimulated. I will probably never get dementia because of you. You have been so good for my brain health. Thank you for teaching me about my own history as a queer girlie. Thank you for helping me heal my relationship with my neurodivergent self. Thank you for being the “mother” who saw me when my own mother just talks about how gross and wrong gay people are. Thank you for being kind and strong and brave in the face of shame and fear and danger. Thank you for leading a revolution of New Romantics! No one does it like you, girl. I love you so much. I hope you got a giggle over the chaos and the wrong predictions. I hope this tour brought you joy and hope and peace and healing. I know I haven’t always seen eye to eye with some of your choices, but I do respect you and I do hope the rest of your life is sunshine and rainbows and you get to hug your mom forever and take really long naps with your person after all of this is over. Long live 💜

Update: I do think the election plays a big role in how loud she can be. @casuallycruel131313 pointed this out, too. We’ll get way more once Kamala has been elected! I think Canada shows will be wildddd.

[redsrooftopprincess]

hey so how do you think Mikey’s brothers would deal with him being the first to get a girlfriend and she’s a human one at that. Cuz they clearly never thought any of them would find someone and it’s their baby brother who did the miracle of finding someone? 😂

Hi there! I'm not sure if this is exactly what you're looking for, but you're here so I assume you want my Mikey. Hope this is okay. 😅

Turned Tables

Michaelangelo x gn!Reader

Warnings: Queerphobia

4am and it's last call in The Village.

He's moving swiftly over rooftops, his usual route, a master of speed and momentum, moving through the city like water. He loves it. The rush. The flow. Moving around obstacles like they mean nothing. He is a turtle after all. Water is kind of his jam.

But not tonight. Tonight the heartbeat pounding in his ears has nothing to do with the thrill of movement. Tonight he's wearing his hoodie with the hood up. Tonight they're with him. And if he's spotted, there will be problems.

There have been whispers about suspicious gang movement in the area, and Leo wants to make sure that certain alliances aren't being made. They usually don't come out here. They have designated areas of the city to cover every night. It's smarter to stick to the same areas so that anything out of place will be more noticable. Which means tonight his bros were on his turf, and that scared the shit out of him.

He follows his brothers over storage sheds and HVAC units, keeping an eye out for anything out of place, occasionally glancing down into the streets below, knowing you'll be heading home after the party. Even if he can't say "hi" tonight, it's worth it just to look at you, even if just for a second. You're so damn pretty.

"Hey! Back off, incel!" the shout comes from the street below and he freezes. His brothers manage to get three buildings away before they notice he's missing.

By the time they make it back to the rooftop where he left them behind, he's already put himself, openly, between a group of four drunk bros, and several sparkly queers.

You and your crew had been on your way home from a party. Ironically enough, you'd just been missing your bright-eyed boyfriend, but understood when he said his brother needed the whole team tonight. You knew the score when this whole thing started. Superheroes gotta superhero.

And damn if he doesn't look good doing it.

Hood still up he glares at them, a low growl backing his words, "Wrong neighborhood, my dudes." Mike says evenly.

The look on the drunk bros faces was enough to know they were thinking maybe they'd had too much.

"Fuck it. Not worth it anyway. Fucking queers."

The dude-bros stumble off and Mike turns to face his very relieved friends. "You guys okay?" He says.

"Yes, thank you, papí," says a Drag Queen in red sequins, she walks up and gives him a kiss, leaving red glitter lipstick on his cheek.

"You know I got you, mamí," Mike says brightly, with a wink, making no effort to wipe the lipstick away. At this point they're most likely watching everything from the rooftop, so it didn't matter anymore.

"We missed you at the party," you say with a smile.

His gaze falls on you and his showman smile morphs into something softer. "Hey, Angel."

You look back at your friends.

"Let me guess," says a man wearing gold shorts and matching cuffs/collar, "you'll catch up?"

You grin and they sigh dramatically, teasing you, as they hug Mike goodbye, thanking him and insisting he show up at the next party.

You step forward and grab his mask tails, pulling him down into a kiss. Usually it's enough to melt the tension away. Not tonight. You pull back and look at him curiously before your gaze moves past him and you see black shadows cut out against the light polluted sky. You meet his eyes again and you can see the underlying panic.

"They were gonna to find out eventually," you say, quietly.

He presses his forehead to yours, "I know. I just..." He sighs.

"I know..." You say, touching his face gently. He'd told you about his brothers, and you understand their need for secrecy, you all do. He'd told you if they ever found out, there was a chance they would refuse to let him see you. Keep him from you completely. But there is no way in hell you're letting him go. You'll fight his big bad brothers yourself if you have to. "Go talk to them. Maybe it'll help to know there are people who aren't afraid." You twist the mask's tail around your fingers and tug, pulling him out of his own head, "Do you want me to come with?"

He shakes his head, "I gotta do this alone. Explain some things. But I think you meeting them at this point is unavoidable." he smirks down at you. You've been asking to meet his family. You haven't said anything, but all the sneaking around is starting to get to you.

He's quiet for a few moments, and shifts his weight, stalling. He must be really scared. "Now or never, Sunshine," you say, tugging on his mask tail again. He gives you a nervous smile and kisses you again, sweetly, before walking across the street backwards, just to look at you a little longer.

When he makes it to the alley, he looks at the ladder to the fire escape and sighs. There's a chance this could go well... right?

When he reaches the roof, they're all standing there, staring at him. Mike swallows. "Hey... So yeah, couple things..." He hauls himself over the edge of the building and stands to look up at his eldest brother, arms crossed, waiting. "So... that's Y/N," he says, as if reciting a list, "and those are my friends..." he gestures a bit further, "and -"

"Parties?" Leo's even voice cuts through the air as sharply as the blades on his back.

Mike glances at Donnie and Raph who look at him with a full spectrum of emotion, from betrayal to hope.

"How long has this been going on?"

"Just... A few years."

"Years!?" If Leo had eyebrows, they would have disappeared into his hair... if he also had hair.

"Leo -" Mike tries.

"Years. Parties. For years."

"Leo, if you'd just -"

"People know about us, Mikey. A lot of people. Don't you think that's kind of a big deal? You're putting everyone in danger here. If just one person -"

"Leo they're queer." Mike interrupts solidly. That shut him up. Leo stares at his brother, taken entirely off guard. "If anyone is used to having to hide their and everyone else's identities for fear of literal murder it's them. We protect our people."

"... We?" Raph asks after a moment.

Mikey gives him a look, "I'm a turtle attracted to humans, what would you call it?"

That shut all of them up, and Mike gives them a moment for that paradigm shift.

"Anyway, yeah, I've been doing a quick run through The Village before coming home every night, just to keep an eye on things."

"That's why you've been coming home late? I thought you were just smoking out somewhere." Raph says.

"That's because that's what I wanted you to think," Mike replies. Duh.

"And your friend? How long has that been going on?"

"We're more than friends," Mike shoots back immediately, a fire in his eyes as they meet his eldest brother's. They could come for him, he was used to it. Not you. His brothers eyes widen and they look at each other before landing back on him, "and we've been together for six months, two weeks, and five days," he checks his watch, "Six days. You want the hours, minutes, and seconds or are we done?" He says.

He pushes past Leo, and makes it almost to the edge of the rooftop before hears Donnie speak softly behind him. "... why would you keep this from us?"

Mike sighs, coming to a stop, "Because... I don't know..." He turns around, "I guess I was afraid you'd try and take it away," He looks at Leo almost defiantly. Raph smirks, kinda proud. "Or maybe... that they'd like you more than me." He looks down at you with a sigh, having rejoined your friends. You're laughing. It's his favorite sound in the universe.

Turning around, you catch him watching over you like a guardian angel turtle. You proceed to blow several kisses his way using each hand, before making a heart with them and spinning back around. The last six months have been the best of your life.

Mike can't help but smile, his brothers look on in awe as Michaelangelo's more-than-friend skips on down the sidewalk.

"Look," Mike says, his eyes returning to his brothers, "I'm safe. You're safe. They're safe." He assures, gesturing in each direction in turn, "We're a pretty tight group, and there's a protocol," he looks at Leo pointedly again, "that we follow with new people before anyone even learns I exist. I've saved the sequined ass of just about everybody in this neighborhood. They know me here. We're safe here... ish, obviously."

They're all speechless.

"I don't like this, Mikey." Leo says after a moment.

"You don't have to like it, you just have to accept it," Mike says without any question in his voice.

Leo sighs rubbing his forehead, "Well, at this point I suppose it's too late for damage control." He looks back at Mike, proud and resolute. This Michaelangelo has only made a handful of appearances in their lives, but Leo knew what it meant. He wasn't backing down. This decision had been carefully thought out and every angle considered before it was made. Mikey may play the fool, but he's far from it. A gifted strategist and the best of them at thinking on his feet, if he says it's safe, it is.

Leo sighs again, "Okay," he says, and Mikey can finally breathe again, "but we all need to be in on these protocols, and Don should look over security."

.....

He's just gotten back from his nightly run, and came home smelling like strawberry daiquiris and you... He may have stopped for a minute.

He's just stripping off his gear to hit the shower when Raph appears in his doorway, knocking softly. "Uh hey," he starts, uncomfortable, "You got a sec?"

Mikey tosses one of his hand wraps into the basket in the corner and starts unraveling the other one, a small burst of glitter explodes into the air with the first layer of cloth. Mike snorts and swats it out of the air. "Sure, bro. Sup?"

"I just..." He struggles, looking at the floor, trying to find the words. He's embarrassed he even wants to ask, but he has to know. There's a chance now... A real chance at meeting real people... maybe... maybe even a chance at... "What's it like?" He asks, looking up at Mikey.

"Gonna have to be a bit more specific," his other hand wrap joins the first.

"Yeah. No. Stupid. Sorry," he laughs nervously, shaking his head and looking at the floor. His hands are actually shaking, he clenches them into fists.

"You okay, bro?" Mike asks, changing tone and pausing to look at his older brother, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he assures, "I, uh..." He sighs and takes a deep breath, psyching himself up. "What's it like... being with someone who isn't scared of you...? Who actually wants you there?" He can't even say the word. He feels stupid for needing to know this damn badly, but he needs to know that it's real. Possible.

A slow smile blooms on Mike's face, his biggest brother would the one to ask. When they played as kids, he's the one that used to ride off into the sunset with the girl. White (well, green) Knight was his default, and a lot of where the anger in him came from as a kid. He had no choice but to live his life watching the world get their happy ever afters, until he died, alone, at the end of a blade. Michaelangelo sees something in Raph's eyes he hasn't seen in a long time. It's faint, and swimming in doubt, but definitely there: Hope.

He takes a breath, crossing his arms over his chest, "Well... It's kinda like..." He pauses, thinking, "Do you remember that old rusted pipe we used to skate on when we were kids?"

"The one that almost killed us? Yeah."

Twelve years old and Donnie had just souped up Mike's board and Raph's skates with some "prototypes." They were supposed to stick to the tunnels near the lair to test them out, but the second they stepped out, Mike made a beeline for the pipe.

The prototypes worked well. Too well. The speed and weight were too much for the rusted metal and it crumbled beneath them, sending them careening down a series of pipes and tunnels with no idea where they were going to end up, or what state they'd be in when they got there.

They skated as best they could, trying to stay on their feet, or even their shells, but everything was moving too fast and there were too many twists and turns. They couldn't keep track of where they were or where they were going, at one point some unidentified substances were involved, and at times it felt as though they would break apart.

When they finally emerged, battered and bruised in an unfamiliar tunnel a little over a mile away, they just sat there for several long moments, stunned.

When they finally met each other's eyes... they lost it. Laughing hysterically with tears streaming down their faces, they could barely feel the sting of cuts or the ache of bruises.

It was terrifying and exhilarating, and at more than one point they thought they were for sure going to die. It had been the most incredible experience of their young lives. They promised only ever to do that once (it 100% should have killed them), but both of them remember, to this day, exactly where that pipe is, just in case they ever want another go.

"It's like that," Mike says, tossing his belt in the corner and walking past Raph to grab a shower.

...

The next evening, before patrol, he receives a visit from a rather concerned looking Donatello. He doesn't bother knocking, but walks into the bedroom and closes the door behind him.

Don spins around to look at him, and raises his hands in a placating gesture. "I'm concerned."

Michaelangelo looks up once he's finished pulling up his shorts. "Okay...?"

"Have you and Y/N had sex? Of any kind, I mean."

"Dude."

"I'm serious," and he meant it. He was wearing his serious face. "Any exchange of fluids beyond kissing?"

Mikey looks at him, Donnie is really, actually worried, and now so is he, "Yeah... why?"

"How often?"

"Dude."

"At least... tell me your wore protection."

"I'm not exactly worried about them getting pregnant, so no."

"Are you worried about them getting regular injections of your DNA?"

This made Mikey pause, why would he... Oh, Gods... He looks up at Donnie, eyes wide and terrified. "Shit, I didn't even think..." He sits down on his pillow pile, thoroughly rocked. His hands cover his face as the possibilities overwhelm him. Mike looks up at his brother with pleading eyes, "are they gonna be okay...? They're gonna be okay, right?"

"I don't know... but I'm going to need a few hair follicles for testing."

"Done," he says quickly, snatching a small baggie from his nightstand and shoving it in his pocket.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I really am a fucking idiot.

Michaelangelo throws on his gear as fast as he can, booking it out of the lair.

He's back in less that 45 minutes

The next few hours are spent with him panic pacing, while Donnie is running tests. Finally, he straightens from over the microscope, one last visual check to confirm what his readouts were saying, and Mike stops, waiting for whatever news comes next.

"Nothing, they're clean. No mutagen detected." Don turns to smile at his brother.

"Fuck, me..." He sighs heavily, breathing hard. The rush of relief makes Michaelangelo so dizzy he has to reach out and catch himself on the wall. Even so, this is definitely something the two of you need to talk about, just in case.

"I'll want to check in periodically, just to make sure it stays that way, but things should be safe enough for now." He pauses and looks uncomfortable for a moment. Emotions are tough for Donnie. They've never made much sense to him, especially when expressing them to others. He knows what they feel like inside his head, but he's never been entirely sure what to do with them. Like he was never given the manual. Even so, he knows that this is important. "Hey, so, um... the probability of something like this happening... one of us actually finding someone, is... Astronomical... Now it’s... slightly less so," he says, thoughtfully, with a soft smile, "so thanks for that."

.....

The eldest of his brothers finally shows up after almost four days. He stands in the open doorway, chagrined, and knocks on the frame.

"Hey, Mike." Leonardo says, taking a few steps into the room.

Michaelangelo looks up from what he's doing and stands, expecting another argument against all of this. He's ready.

"I'd like to apologize."

Okay, he wasn't ready for that.

"I was caught off-guard, and I reacted poorly," he says, "I was worried. I still am. This whole… thing scares the hell out of me. It means there are more pieces on the board, more people to keep safe."

Leo sighs, "It also means that maybe... there can be something more than… this. And I... I don't know if it's worth it yet, the risk, to us or them. I wish I did. This is new... territory for me. I'm used to understanding how things are supposed to work, at least when it comes to us, but this..."

"Hey," Mike says, interrupting Leo's word vomit. Leo tended to keep things pretty close to the vest, even among the five of them, so it didn't happen often, but big things. Important things. Emotional things, could send him spinning out until someone stops him, or he tornados himself into a panic attack.

Leo takes a deep breath, as Mike grins, "How 'bout you let me teach you a couple things, for once."

He smiles back at his youngest brother, chuckling nervously, "Thanks. I would actually really appreciate that." Leo steps further into the room now that things seem settled between them, and pulls a pillow from the pile to sit on, settling in. He dismissed his brothers explanations earlier, he owed it to him to listen now. "So... what are they like?'"

Michaelangelo spends a good amount of time telling him about you, his friends, and how this whole thing got started. By the end, Leo isn't exactly more comfortable about the situation, but he sees the potential, and despite himself, he's just a little excited.

.....

At this point he's pretty sure his brothers are cool with everything. Less cool in one particular case, but he's working on Leo. Michaelangelo's father, however, is an entirely different story.

Leo had told him that morning, after they'd gotten back, and for two days he remained in silent meditation. By the time he emerged on day three, Michaelangelo was afraid to even be in the same room as him.

He knows this is a big deal. He knows his dad has been meditating on his own feelings on the matter and the best way to approach them with his youngest, and this could either go really, really well, or blow up in his face, but if there's one thing he knows about the old rat... he can't be avoided. Not forever.

The fated knock comes on day five.

"Hey," Leo says, "dad wants to talk to you."

Mike takes a deep breath and heads down to his father's room.

"Have a seat, Michaelangelo," he says, gesturing to the empty cushion across from him. There is a low table before him with a chipped pot and two steaming cups of tea.

Mike walks into the room. He doesn't seem mad, but that doesn't mean anything. His dad is great at playing it cool. He sits across from Splinter, nervously.

His father asks for the whole story, and listens patiently as Mikey tells him everything. How saving a drag queen one night led to his being accepted and wanted by a whole group of people. Friends that have helped him in more ways than he can count. Definitely more ways than he could ever help them. And you. He tells his dad about you. How amazing you are, how kind and patient, and something he hasn't even told you yet: just how stupid in love with you he really is.

It takes hours.

When Mikey is finished, His father is quiet for a long time, processing everything. He'd received some of the story from Leonardo, and was fitting the new information into the appropriate places, while carefully considering the situation. Mike tries not to panic.

"I'm proud of you, Michaelangelo," he says, finally. Mike's head shoots up from staring into his tea cup to meet his father's eyes.

Okay, what?

"Not only have you done all things possible to ensure the care and safety of both your new friends and our family, but you had the courage to look for something beyond what we know to be safe. You had the courage to try. All that done on your own. And while next time," his father gives him a look, "something like this comes up, I would much rather you come to me first," he pauses to ensure the message sinks in, "I understand why you did not, and you have my deepest apologies for that." The old master bows his head, penitently, across the table.

A half-laugh escapes Mikey, tears of relief stinging his eyes. He was ready to fight for you. In fact, since this whole thing started he's basically been thinking about nothing but what the hell he's going to tell his dad. The last five nights, he's held you a little tighter, a little longer. Not to say goodbye, he'd walk away from them if he had to, if they made him choose. You're too important. But he didn't want to, and now he doesn't have to, and sweet relief pours, fizzing, through his veins

"Really?" Mike asks softly, it wasn't often he got rewarded for disobeying orders, especially when the reward was something this big. You. Holy shit they were letting him keep you. He wipes at his eyes as his father smiles, "I uh... thanks Dad." He says, unsure whether he's laughing or crying.

"I feel as though a new chapter of our lives is beginning, thanks to you," his smile crinkles at the corners of his eyes, "and I look forward to seeing where the tale will take us."

.....

The next morning, Leo, Don, and Raph are sitting around the kitchen table after patrol, when Mike storms in with a purpose.

He slaps a neon green paper down in the middle of the table for the three of them. It's a flyer for a party, happening at Mike's usual spot, tomorrow night.

They look at the flyer, and then each other, before their gazes turn to their father, standing in the doorway with a steaming cup of tea. Four adult turtles, nearly pushing 30, silently begging their dad for permission.

There is a subtle smile under his whiskers as he takes a sip of his tea, "Be back before sunrise," he says, and his smile widens as he sees his children light up with the promise of a new adventure.

They'll panic later, when the reality sets in that they are about to meet a large group of people and they have no idea what they're doing (Leo may already be screaming internally), but for now they're excited, and looking forward to tomorrow.

....

Tag list

@thelaundrybitch @the-cauldron-witch @fyreball66 @ninnosaurus @tmntngl @thegirlwiththeninjaturtletattoos @zagreustomb @ramielll @silverwatergalaxy @gornackeaterofworlds @daedric-sorceress @sophiacloud28 @iridescentflamingo @milykins

[bunnidid-reviews]

Someone tagged me in this (thank you!) and I wanted to recommend some I really really like:

- Set This House In Order(A Romance of Souls) by Matt Ruff

A book written with so much care and attention to how DID truly is. The relationships in this book are so real, and it explores the complexities of healing in a very honest(sometimes brutally honest) way, that is just packed full of compassion for those with DID.

Tws include: verbal and physical abuse, sexual abuse details later in the book. Alcoholism also and a lot of deadnaming in the latter half

- Chasing Dawn: The Alters by Terra Katherine Mckeown

Contemporary adult fantasy about a changeling with DID. Each of her alters have differrnt powers and its SO COOL!! The relationships between parts really felt so real to me, and again this is a very compassionate and loving portrayal of DID.

Tws include: violence and organized ritual abuse. There are a few chapters about those scenes that are pretty explicit

Fractured Souls by Tyler Craig Nixon

This one is one of my most favorites I think, the book is written with so much love and care for people with DID. About a host and an introject part coming to love eachother very much, and a traumatic incident causing the whole system to be shaken up. Explores themes of what it means to be a new host and discover the system, as well as dormancy and healing together :) a lot of similar vibes to Set this house in order, but lighter and appropriate/relatable for younger audiences

Tws: drug abuse, nonexplicit violence and human trafficking

For a movie, check out What If It Works(2017)

A romance between a girl with DID and a guy with intense OCD and what it means to love and accommodate eachother’s difficulties with love due to more severe mental illnesses. I love this movie so much because they really do make it work in their own ways, and the director for the film has so much compassion and love for people with DID and more intense OCD, basing much of it off real experiences they’ve seen loved ones have

Tws: non-explicit but implied CSA, a car crash in the climax

———

What I love about all these recommendations is that they all come from a compassionate place of understanding, or seeking to understand those with the disorder. It reminds me that we as systems are lovable

Also every recc here has stuff to do with being accepting of queer characters too, which I find very fitting for stories about being lovable as you are

Sorry for hijacking the post, I hope these help if you want something lighter and less heavy on the mindfucky trauma stuff thats most easily found!!

Hi! I was wondering if you had any book recs for fictional books with plural characters/narrators? I feel like these are quite rare, so any genre is fine. Thank you so much!!

rare indeed - anon, if you're in a system, please consider writing this/encouraging friends to! there is a massive dearth of even non-canonically plural work out there.

below, i'm going to recommend some books that contend with multiplicity and plurality in a meaningful way, though honestly, apart from extremely harmful depictions of "multiple personality disorder" etc., I'm struggling to recall any book that explicitly 1) id's characters as plural and 2) does so in a positive/non-shitty way.

some plurality-flavored books:

Failure to Comply by Cavar. This is my book. I (we) wrote it as a plural-egg, and it's, uh. Well, it's not not obvious

Veniss Underground by Jeff Vandermeer

Dead Astronauts by Jeff Vandermeer

Embassytown by China Miéville

Someone You Can Build a Nest In by John Wiswell

Poor Deer by Claire Oshetsky

Overall, I wish I could recommend more - or any - books with plural characters/narrators that were just...banal? Slice-of-life? Not purposefully trying to be a "mindfuck"? Don't get me wrong, I'm a mindfucky writer and reader. But I'd like to see books featuring systems with everyday problems, not trying to use plurality to make some grand genre-bending statement. So far, I haven't found anything (my own work included) that does this, but really hope that changes soon.

[transbianmuffin]

Memories pt. 3

cw manipulation but we all know she wants to be a pet, also two queer flirting and a hint of gaslighting

********

this thing is huge, and it's almost nonsensical, so much complexity so incredibly decorated so alienating?

"This is...incredible..."

"This, dear, is Opicala. The main Affini ship overseeing Jupiter."

"How? How? It's..."

"Huge? Fantastic? I know you tend to struggle with words." "Majestic!" "Haha, yes majestic is a nice one to describe it." "..." "I know, I know, most of sophonts don't comprehend the grandeur of Affini's architecture." wait those two affini have people? on a leash? what the hell? I've heard about domestication but I thought it was mostly reducing them to zombies and those guys are making out? they seem so happy so carefree what is happening and why why why I- I like it? No I don't want to be a slave I want peace not being a slave again "But I guess you're not looking at the architecture, don't you?" "Those people, collared, on a leash. Are your slaves? Is this what's gonna happen to me?"

they seem so happy, their eyes filled with bliss their mouths drooling each other's saliva and they seem no to care about a thing which is not their own tongues twitching and swirling "Slaves? Dirt, no! Absolutely not. My dear, those are pets. Domesticated sophonts, and we love our pets so much." "I was told that you enslaved people, keeping them drugged and compliant and used them as your servitude or to do menial work for your empire..." "The rebel propaganda really got you there, my beautiful terran. No, not at all. Well, they are drugged most of the times. That part is true, but I can assure you they really like it. As you did, a couple of days ago when we had our first chat." "What will be of me?" "Well, techinically you'd have been sent to forced domestication since you are a rebel. It is also true, though, that you did what you did and that would make you a defector. In addition to that you surrendered without any resistance and moreover you gave us some very useful intel." "So?" "So, my dear, I filed a special plead for you. You won't be assigned to forced domestication. You will stay here for a while and then we will drop you wherever you like on Jupiter. Lastly, we will grant you the status of 'independent terran', unless..." "U- unless?" "Unless you'd actually want to stay and be a pet, my dear. Oh you would be the cutest of them all. You'd have to either pick or be picked by an owner and you will live forever in care and bliss." oh god oh god a pet? would I be a good pet? I mean those two earlier seemed to be happy but maybe there were only high as fuck but being a pet seems so nice

"An owner, like you?" "Ah, you're saying this, not me~" "I- I don't know." "There is another little thing I forgot to mention." "Now you're scaring me." "Good, you will learn to fear the giant plant girl which work consists mainly in interrogating and inflicting terrible tortures to rebels." "...Sinea..." "Just kidding, just kidding! Look at your face, stars you are so damn cute! Anyway, I saw from your medical report that you were under special medications for HRT, am I correct?" "Y-yes." "Well I think it is worth mentioning that the meds you were taking are nothing more than candies compared to our Class G. Which is basically the same thing but way more advanced and effective." "Oh..."

is she lying? maybe she wants to drug me again but maybe I can trust her, she's been so kind with me and advanced HRT is a dream come true

"Am I picking your interest there?" "Y-yes." "Of course this is not to convince you at all. I am just saying that here you will be loved in a way you have never experienced. You are free to go whenever. Just say a place on Jupiter and we'll drop you there instantly, Deena." "I need some time. I am tired and it's a lot to process." "That's perfectly understandable, little one. Want me to carry you?" "..." "Stars, when you give me those puppy eyes I- I simply can't! Come on. Here." "Those pets."

god they seemed so happy I was envious? jealous? yes that's the word

"Those pets, yes." "Those pets." "Yes those were pets. Do you have any specific consideration you want to make here or are you simply stating a matter of fact, my dear?" "They seemed so happy. Their kisses so blissful, their minds overwhelmed with joy and passion." "Florets usually do that. Here they are safe, protected, free to explore their true self, their true nature. Nobody judges them and the joy you saw in their eyes was certaintly shared by their respective owners."

"I would like to talk to one of them, if possible." "I have a better idea. There will be a little social gathering among florets later, their owners will be there but they won't interfere too much in their interactions. While I am not still your owner, I am your temporary ward so I can vouch for you. There you can talk to any of them and maybe even do something more than talking~" "S- still?"

what does she mean with still? still? she wants me to be her pet? what?

"Uh?" "You said you are not still my owner." "No, no my dear you must have misheard. I said that I am not your owner, which is true. I mean I could be your owner if that's what you want but the choice is yours and only yours."

maybe I misheard? I am sure she said that but I'm also tired and the feeling of her vines around me are so beautifully distracting

"I- I think I'm sure of what i've heard?" "Aw darling~ you are so tired, sometimes it happens to misheard stuff when we are tired. Misheard or projecting. Anyway, would you like to go to the floret's gathering?" "Maybe you're right. I am really tired but yes, Sinea, I'd love to go." "Very well, but first I must to inform you that I won't let my ward take part in a social event without some glowing up. You still smell of surgical sanitizer and your dress is unacceptable. I have a reputation." "Sure..." "That's my good girl. We will go at mine, have a bath, some grooming and I'll provide you with something suitable to wear."

hehe good girl~ wait a second a bath, a dress? what am I a doll? but I don't want to make her feel bad at the gathering I guess I can see how it goes

********

[ai-manre]

Dany's second to last chapter in ADWD is one of my favorites of the entire series, it reveals so much about her character.

The sky was a merciless blue, without a wisp of cloud in sight. The bricks will soon be baking in the sun, thought Dany. Down on the sands, the fighters will feel the heat through the soles of their sandals.

This is the chapter where the fighting pits are reopened. It opens with melancholy that she was letting something this heinous happen, that she lost what she had fought for to achieve a senseless and futile peace. What's the worth of peace if it's bought with the blood of slaves?

“The yellow silk.” The queen of the rabbits could not be seen without her floppy ears. The yellow silk was light and cool, and it would be blistering down in the pit. The red sands will burn the soles of those about to die. “And over it, the long red veils.” The veils would keep the wind from blowing sand into her mouth. And the red will hide any blood spatters.

Again and again, she thinks of the discomfort of those fighting in the pits while she sits comfortably in her seat. That very thought seems to disgust her and bring her despair.

When they caught sight of the palanquin emerging from the pyramid, a cheer went up from those nearest and spread across the plaza. How queer, the queen thought. They cheer me on the same plaza where I once impaled one hundred sixty-three Great Masters.

“One step, then the next, and soon we shall be running. Together we shall make a new Meereen.” The street ahead had finally cleared. “Shall we continue on?”

What could she do but nod? One step, then the next, but where is it I’m going?

Ten thousand throats roared out their thanks; then twenty thousand; then all. They did not call her name, which few of them could pronounce. “Mother!” they cried instead; in the old dead tongue of Ghis, the word was Mhysa! They stamped their feet and slapped their bellies and shouted, “Mhysa, Mhysa, Mhysa,” until the whole pit seemed to tremble. Dany let the sound wash over her. I am not your mother, she might have shouted back, I am the mother of your slaves, of every boy who ever died upon these sands whilst you gorged on honeyed locusts.

Behind her, Reznak leaned in to whisper in her ear, “Magnificence, hear how they love you!” No, she knew, they love their mortal art.

Hizdahr ignored the eunuch. “Magnificence, the people of Meereen have come to celebrate our union. You heard them cheering you. Do not cast away their love.”

“It was my floppy ears they cheered, not me. Take me from this abbatoir, husband.” She could hear the boar snorting, the shouts of the spearmen, the crack of the pitmaster’s whip.

This chapter is full of Dany's musings of how she became the opposite of what she meant to be. She was the Mother of those fighting in the pits, not the ones in the stands, and it is at this point that she reaches the culmination of her Queen of Rabbits vs Mother of Dragons/Freedmen arc. She cannot take the horror of the fighting pits anymore and gets up to leave. And that is the moment Drogon appears, almost as if he knew it was time Dany was ready to shed the floppy ears.

Then-

Ser Barristan held her tightly. “Look away, Your Grace.”

“Let me go!” Dany twisted from his grasp. The world seemed to slow as she cleared the parapet. When she landed in the pit she lost a sandal. Running, she could feel the sand between her toes, hot and rough. Ser Barristan was calling after her. Strong Belwas was still vomiting. She ran faster.

This, to me, is the culmination of her arc, of her finally reclaiming her identity as Daenerys Targaryen, Breaker of Chains and Mother of Dragons. Not only because she actually rushes in to save Drogon and fight him at the same time, but because she finally feels the sand between her own toes.

Dany finally gets out of the seats of the nobility and into the fighting pits, the place where slaves fight and shed their blood. She feels the hot sand under her feet, just like they felt it, and she fights as they fought. She's one of them again, their champion, their rescuer. Not one of those sitting up with their tokars on, not the one sitting with the masters. She is fighting among them and faces off her deepest fear and finds only freedom beyond. That is Daenerys Targaryen.

[swiftiefirefighters]

i really and truly think tommy could be it for buck romantically and he could really have his family in eddie and christopher and tommy and it can be such a beautiful fucking story that they tell us about platonic love and romantic love and how you don’t have have to choose and can have both and both can be special and important and, quite honestly, cosmic. like TO ME, and let me reiterate that this is my opinion and no one has to feel this way, but a story of eddie who’s spent years thinking he has to get over the love of his life or he can never really live, learning that he can be fulfilled with his love for his son and his love for buck and his love for the 118 even tho there isn’t some great love waiting for him would be a hugely beautiful story because there’s so much value in finding out that romantic love isn’t the be all and end all of relationships and connections and him finding a place with buck AND/OR buck and tommy outside of sex and romance (not that he should never or can never have those things but he doesn’t need them if he doesn’t want them and he shouldn’t settle or force himself because society and family keeps telling him that he has to) would be so lovely.

i just think qpr buddietommy with bucktommy would be a beautiful thing and i would be narratively satisfied if that’s where this went.

idk.

i just hope the writers consider it at the very least and don’t force a love interest for eddie because that’s what they “should” do.

and ftr, a buddie qpr story would be a queer story TO ME, and i would find comfort and representation in it so please don’t reblog this post or message me to tell me how wrong and bad this is because as an alloromantic in a qpr i don’t want to hear how my relationship doesn’t count. thanks.

[respectthepetty]

The Loyal Pin - Episode 14

I was going to save this episode for last in my Sunday watching like I normally do, but if I'm going to be mad at Pin, I need to get it out of the way, so let me get this point out of the way as well - - -

WHAT IS PIN EVEN SAYING?!

If she thinks marrying a horrible man is her karma for breaking Anin's heart, you know what actually fix that? NOT MARRYING THAT MAN! Pin gives her reasons: she can't embarrass the family and taint their reputation, but like . . . SHE NEVER HAD TO MAKE THIS DECISION IN THIS FIRST PLACE! Anin doesn't give two fucks about anybody but her, and Pin is thinking about everyone else. She is saying she must now live in hell because she did make this decision, but she isn't the only one in hell because she damned both her and Anin to this sentence. Just because I understand her whys doesn't mean I have to like, and I. Don't. Like. It!

And to make me more upset is Pin being pressed about every girl who has been SUPPORTING Anin even though Anin has been a loyal Blue Beauty to Pin SINCE DAY ONE as if Pin ISN'T GETTING MARRIED IN A WEEK! My babygirl is too beautiful and too perfect to be dealing with this.

And that's why Penelope has no color!

I pray that I see Anin in pink by the end of this story, but right now, I'm proud of her for maintaining her color throughout all of this.

AND HER PETTINESS!

Because, in this house, I respect the petty!

Anin understands the importance of a queer community and my beautiful and perfect babygirl is helping her in her time of need just like Anin has helped her.

Yet Penelope is over there just looking miserable and colorless. Once again, I understand her, but what does she want Anin to do? Help her plan her wedding? Redecorate her bedroom, so her future husband will be comfortable in it?! I WANT ANSWERS, PENELOPE!

Of course this cabrón sucks. We've done been knowing that.

Anin ran IN HEELS to get that man, and if a woman is running in heels, you know that shit is serious. GET HIS ASS, POSH SPICE!

Anan sits at the table with To Sir, With Love's Yang as the best brother to ever exist in a QL because, unlike Anon, he does not trust Kuea because his ass IS NEVER AT WORK, which has been pointed out several times.

And he trusts what my girl Prik is saying about this very important matter because Prik has proven to be elite in getting information! Prik isn't a simple gossip. She is a chismosa and that takes skills.

This motherf*cker.

Not even seeing Pin in her and Anin's colors is making me happy right now. Anin's mom is in red, and the sight of Patricia is pissing me off that I'm seeing more red, so let's get back to murdering Kuea.

And this is what I mean by skills! Prik understands how to treat herself and how to make small talk! She doesn't look suspicious like rich chick Anin. No! She easily got the information and a snack by merely asking where that hot guy was today.

And even though Anin said "Yes, ma'am" slightly irritated when Prik told her to move, Anin better appreciate that without Prik's excellent talent, she wouldn't have known any of this. Prik didn't even have a car! She was just walking around and getting the chisme. The royals could NEVER!

THIS MOTHERF*CKER!

Girl, no! Just like Penelope, I get her reasoning, but this man done lied to you a million times. Your baby deserves better!

PATRICIA! I HATE YOU!

And now I am back where I started. Penelope believes Anin but will stay with Kuea because . . . reasons.

Anin is probably trying to figure out why she loves this pendeja so damn much. Girl, why we love the people we love just doesn't make sense sometimes. This is one of those times.

My Mexican grandmother is coming out in me because all I keep thinking is Penelope better be drinking lots of water if she wants to keep crying all these tears.

Prik telling Penelope that Anin left with Aon, then telling Penelope to smile shouldn't come across as Prik being loyal to Anin, but if I was Prik, I would get my digs in where I could too. I'm not romanticizing being poor, but that big bed in that big house ain't worth it, girl. Anin wanted YOU!

And now this is where my feelings get hurt by the colors, and I start singing Adele.

"WE COULD'VE HAD IT ALL, ROLLING IN THE DEEP!"

"NEVER MIND, I'LL FIND SOMEONE LIKE YOU! I WISH NOTHING BUT THE BEST FOR YOU!"

THIS MOTHERFUCKER!

Anan, get up right now and smack your bother. My beautiful and perfect babygirl is right next to him and she will help you. Start a fight, so the wedding gets postponed.

I FUCKING HATE THIS!

Whew! That was an amazing hour of television. Blessed to be alive the same time this is airing.

[rainbowsky]

Heyy rainbowsky. I hope you're doing good. There's something that's been on my mind for a while regarding candies, esp the one regarding their social media and the ones that seem "intentional". Do you think these are directed at each other or to turtles. As a younger turtle I used to think it was for each other and would also see them as a stretch cause I couldn't see the point of putting so much effort in these if they were already together. But as I have taken a break and come back, (older and wiser i hope) and have myself found my footing in my queerness while still being largely closeted, I feel like I'm swaying more towards the latter. That they do this for the turtles, or more so for themselves and their identities. It's makes me think of how i wear a discreet rainbow bracelet as part of my everyday wear, ie, a quiet assertion of who i am to who is willing to see. What do you think about this? Also what do you think turtles represent for them? Do you also think for them, we are an escape from an otherwise homophobic and closeted world? I'd really like to know your perspective.

Hi Chaoticmoonlight! I'm getting by! I hope you're well, too! 😊

Well, these things don't have to be a case of either/or. They can serve multiple purposes at the same time. I think that when it comes to 'declarations of love', or a certain type of social media PDA in their posts (kadian, candies, etc.), it's almost always aimed at each other and at turtles simultaneously, as well as anyone else who knows them for who they are (friends, family, etc.).

If GG and DD want to send a message to each other, they can just pick up the phone. Doing so publicly or on social media inevitably involves an element of self-expression, and likely at times becomes a grander gesture because of the public nature of the message.

If a partner holds your hand at home, it's sweet. If they do it in public there's an added element of 'making a statement', of openly declaring their affection for you. This gesture can become more powerful as the risk of doing so increases.

I agree that it's also a lot like wearing a rainbow flag pin or carrying a rainbow tote bag, or all the other ways queer people express ourselves and show our colors. It's a way of being as open as possible about an important relationship, and about our identities.

I've posted about this a few times in the past. A very common misconception among most people - especially straight people, but even some queer people - is that closeted people will want to do everything in their power to hide their sexual orientation and relationship status/partner. I think this is a very misguided understanding of the closet.

People have a fundamental need to be seen, accepted and validated for who they are. It's not just a 'nice-to-have', it's something people truly need for their survival and well-being. People who don't get those needs met will generally not thrive, and will often suffer in deep and damaging ways.

A lot of people think the closet is a place where people go to stay safe, and therefore it's a 'safe space'. This is so untrue. The closet might be the best option among several bad options, but it's by no means a safe, happy place. It's often a place of loneliness, alienation, grief and pain. People don't generally stay in the closet because they're happy there - they stay there because coming out is more dangerous/scary than staying closeted.

The vast majority of people, if they knew that it was safe to come out, - that they'd be accepted, protected and respected - would do so in a heartbeat. But even from within the closet, there is still that need to be seen and known for who we are. Those needs don't go away just because someone is closeted.

Closeted people will often go out of their way to share as much as they possibly can about who they really are, right up to the line where they'd be fully outed.

Coming out is also not just a 'one and done' thing. It is a gradual process, and one that has to be repeated over and over again as the circle of 'those who know' expands over time. I talked about that in more detail here. The best way I can express it is to say,

people will be as 'out' as they are able to be at any given time.

For some people, being out among friends and family and showing some small under-the-radar expressions of Pride will be their personal safe limit. For others it might just be wearing a rainbow bracelet, or wearing their lover's scarf. That safe limit will often expand or shift over time. Sometimes it will even shrink. There's definitely such a thing as 'being thrown back/deeper into the closet'.

GG and DD are in the unique position of having millions of people who believe they're a couple. While I'm sure it sometimes makes their experience of being closeted that much more terrifying (considering their relationship is being talked about so openly), I suspect that in most cases it makes their experience of being closeted so much more bearable.

They might not be able to make a post sharing photos from a hiking trip they took together, but they can share enough information to ensure turtles know they took that trip (a special moment for both of them, not just turtles). They might not be able to post boasts and praise about their partner's successes and milestones, but they can in subtle ways express their joy so that those who know, know, and so their partner witnesses their praise. They might not be able to openly put their names side by side on charitable works, but turtles will do it for them.

It's not just the gesture itself that is sweet. As I said earlier, the public nature of it - the fact that others are witnessing it - adds to the power and significance of it. GG seeing DD wearing a #29 helmet for racing practice on GG's 29th birthday no doubt made GG smile, but it likely also made him doubly happy to see us freaking out over it, and knowing that someone out there knows DD was celebrating him.

As I have said in the past, I feel like turtles probably give them strength as they deal with their day-to-day experience of being closeted and apart most of the time. This is a sentiment LRLG has often expressed, too.

Wishing you strength and support on your journey as well, chaotic-moonlight. There's no right or wrong way to be queer, and no timeline we have to meet. Being closeted in no way invalidates who we are.

Related posts:

Closeted Relationships

Coming Out

What BXG Might Mean to GGDD

About Kadian

Sun Wenjing and coming out in less than ideal circumstances

[petew21-blog]

Second hand cigar

Halloween has passed, but some parties still had a costume party theme. For example Travis here, a very queer, blonde hair guy unable to find a good last minute costume. His queer friends specified, that it must be something straight-looking, destroying all his plans to go as one of his gay icons.

His look - bleached hair, round colourful glasses and his noticeable gay mannerisms complicated this task.

Travis decided to get inspired in the city, heading to the second hand costume thrift store. He dismissed the idea of going as someone in a uniform, revealing his chest, he was so shy about. The thrift shop manager came to assist him. Before he did, Travis noticed his homophobic looks he gave him, but decided not to make a scene. He really needed the costume.

The manager handed him a biker shirt. "Try it out. I got some other stuff here for you, that would fit you." Travis went to the booth to try it out. He took off his clothes, avoiding the mirror. The shirt slipped right on him, fitting him perfectly. Travis looked back at himself. "I feel so weird, egh. Straight people really have a weird taste."

Suddenly a hand moved the curtain. "It comes with a beanie, jeans and a jacket, I will get it ready for you, before you leave."

Travis felt a weird impulse in his head to take the hat from the guy. He put it on him.

Manager:"You look much better now, sir."

Travis felt as if his confidence was boosted somehow. He felt really good. But it scared him. He wanted to take off his new clothes to return them, but the manager noticed. "No, don't. I want you to have it."

Travis:"I... thank you. I don't know if this is the right fit."

Manager:"I'm sure it is. In fact, I think you look so good in it, I want you to keep it. Free of charge."

Travis struggled a bit financialy, so the fact that he wouldn't have to pay made him feel a bit calmer. "Really? Thank you so much."

They went to the cashier. Travis felt more and more confident in his new clothes. He didn't even notice, that he left his glasses in the booth.

Manager:"Ok, here is a bag for you. Oh, I see you're getting comfortable in your new outfit." manager pointed at Travis's hand in his pants

Travis was shocked to find his hand there, he didn't even notice that he did so. Actually he normally never would have done this. "I am so sorry, sir. I am not really sure what's happening to me right now."

Manager:"You're feeling great in your new costume. That's what this is. Ok, this should be all and you're set to go. By the way, I left a bit of a gift in the jacket for you to use later."

Travis thanked the manager and left the shop. He was so taken back by the fact that he was acting differently. He wasn't sure why, but there was no time to worry about that. There was a party he had to get to.

He threw the jacket in the backseat and sat in his car. He took off his new hat, but another shocked awaited him. "What the fact?! What happened to my hair?!?" his blonde hair turned to its original brunette. But that was not the only thing that changed, his beard grew a bit, giving him a scruffy look.

Travis looked at himself. If he wanted to pass as a straight biker, this would definitely be a good look for him. He didn't want to admit that out loud, but he kind of liked the new look, that the clothes gave him.

He remember the gift, the manager mentioned. He looked through the pockets of the jacket and found a few cigars. "What should I even do with this? I don't smoke..."

He played with the cigar in his hand and looked at his reflection. He placed it in his mouth and looked again. "Oh this looks even better. I'm gonna have the best costume out of all of them." he found a lighter in the same pocket a spontaneously light it.

Travis sat there, enjoying himself. The smoke filling his lungs and the car, the ash falling on his lap. He felt amazing. He didn't look like a fag anymore. He was a man now. Wait. Did he really think that about himself? What about his crush? His crush was a man. But he looked so much better as a biker now than before.

He looked at himself in his camre. He loved his new look. He wanted to be more and more confident. He loved this new rush that the clothes gave him. Maybe if he wore the jacket, he would feel complete. A proper MAN.

Travis reached to the back, the cigar still in his mouth. The jacket smelled like an ollder musky man. Travis was hard now. He was about to wear some other man's clothes. He was gonna be in the clothes that another man was.

The jacket was on and Travis was finally happy. His look was complete. Screw the party. He should be in a bar showing himself off to other people.

But while those tiny transformation took place, something else was happening. Travis didn't notice, that his will was weaker, someone wanted to have a turn in the spotlight. To control this new straight biker body. Travis, drunk by the confidence just simply let go. The force didn't feel dangerous, no. Something that made him feel this good wanted to enjoy the goods too.

Travis closed his eyes, but someone else opened them instead. An ominous gold glow appeared in Travis's eyes for a second.

"Daddy's home." the stranger said in Travis's voice making his voice sound deeper than before. He gave the cigar a large puff and then exhaled.

The stranger immediately grabbed his bulge.

"The fuck... he could have picked a better one. Mine was bigger." he looked at his reflection now.

"Not bad. Gonna give you some improvements and maybe I could keep being you."

Travis's body dialed a phone number. The name of the costume shop appeared above it.

"Hey, guess who's back?!"

Manager:"Finally. I wasn't sure he wouldn't throw the clothes away."

Stranger:"What happened to the original plan, huh? You promised me a hot jock to turn into a biker. This one looks like a fairy."

Manager:"He is one. But that makes it even better, right? We'll get to cancel out some votes as well. Anyway, go to my appartement. The rest of your stuff is still there."

Stranger:"Thank you, brother!"

2 weeks later

Travis was long gone. Or at least that's what Travis's friends told each other. It was something they told themselves to ignore the fact, that their originally queer friend was now a MAGA supporter and a cigar smoking, biker.

Fuck, Travis even changed his looks completely. Whatever happened to him changed him completely. He was now walking shirtless in a vest, very openly showing off his hairy chest, he shaved his head and even gave himself a goatee.

Meanwhile, Dale was now living his second chance at life. His brother helped him get a new body and turn it into a better version of him. He was happy to smoke cigars again, taste alcohol and fuck pussy as he did in his life before. So yeah, fuck the old Travis. Life is amazing!

A story for @hypnosmoke420 with his own original photos. How cool is that? :D

[smaeemo]

On the topic of s8 buddie speculation, I think that it’s important to recognize that they are actual adults.

Like these are fully grown men, who are inherently recovering and still mentally growing, but they are not teens or even young adults at this point. With Tommy specifically, my guy Tommy is a fully grown 40 year old, comfortable stable person who is experienced and confident within his identity and relationship. And while Buck has always been a little more immature, he is growing and getting healither and healthier as the seasons progress.

So as of right now Bucktommy is ideal for the two of them, but when it comes to Eddie it is a completely different ordeal.

Eddie’s emotional and mental states are in crisis mode, with chris, SINCE shannon, PTSD, all of above. And with adding in Marisol, and specificlally his relationship with God, this is now a perfect avenue for his queer identity. HOWEVER, With the Chris timeline, there has to be closure on one before the other, most likely chris first.

Here’s what I think will happen BRIEF IDEA

Chris -> Eddie Queer -> Eddie realizes he loves Buck -> Bucktommy break up due to TOMMY realizing this -> Buddie fight -> Eddie & Tommy talk + Eddie and team talk (or carla)-> Buck realizes/eddie tells him(but not fully establishedor resolved) -> DRAMA UNRELATED -> Big emotional AGGHH (Possibly to do with Chris) -> resolve that issue -> Circle back to the topic of their love -> Buck talks to peeps -> DRAMA -> Buddie Canon

(Buck and Eddie can be interchanged in specific parts due to the general theme of the dramas or perhaps the “confession” of sorts)

However my point is…

- Tommy will not be a bad sport and is NOT a bad person or bad for Buck. Wrong person wrong time, but a lovely couple as of right now. Specifically for Buck’s development. (I really hope they strengthen and continue Tommy’s character because I love him, and because I don’t think he should be known exclusively as a catalyst for Buck’s identity, kind of like Taylor was :()

- For Buddie to go canon, the Chris issue has to be resolved first WHICH could come before or after Eddie’s queer realization. Specifically after, perhaps due to his repressed feelings and idenrity becoming a prominent figure in his self care, and willingness to change. AND let go of Shannon IN A HEALTHY WAY. (also parent stuff)

- This is not high school, they are adults. BUCK HAD HIS ARC!! Eddie needs to figure out his shit.

- They are flawed and complex characters, so while yes, this is 9-1-1 so it will be theatrical, it will not be immature.

- It will be MESSY and DRAMATIC and with REALISTIC (ish) themes

-> Think of Bathena, Henren, Madney

- Buddie is a longstanding want from the Fandom, ergo, if executed wrong, there will be an actual outrage (look at how they reacted to Tommy) so this was/will be a very complicated and complex writing!

- OR casually dropped in (I highly doubt this option)

- Most of all, Chris is the main priority within Eddie’s life, so the Chris Arc and EDDIES arc need to take place PRIOR to canonical Buddie.

- Buck has suspiiously not gone through anything this seaosn.. so keep an eye out for that…

- TOMMY IS NOT BAD. I REPEAT TOMMY IS NOT BAD.

-> Not the right longterm relationshup for either of them, but a HEALTHY one

- Buddie may not go canon this season, but it’s still possible THEY HAVE ALL THE BUILDING BLOCKS

- But on a more media related note, please take into account:

-> Actors comfort

-> ABC’s policies

-> And of course, plotline: due to the NATIONAL/GLOBAL want and demand for Buddie, this arc would over shadow most other arcs, so other character arcs need to take place, and really develop before canon buddie

-> Also, please be respectful of other people, actors, and of course writers. As viewers we don’t see so much, and of course all media can be intperetted in many various ways, and even if you don’t agree, please respect and have compassion for your fellow 9-1-1 enjoyers (specifically regarding all of the listed items).

Ok, Stay safe, stay respectful, stay on the watch for potential buddie themes, be patient and most of all, have compassion for all parties involved, fictional and production wise.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/5/2024

i am going to do my absolute fucking best to stay off the internet today. also the next time i write one of these i will be goddamn thirty. yeesh.

listening

it took three hours to make a normally brisk 50-minute trip back from the airport on sunday bc there were simply so many accidents. my phone wasn't charging, i was kind of locked into the one way i actually knew how to get home, it was pouring, and the only radio station that was reliably coming through was the local dad rock station.

i don't think i've ever actually heard this song all the way through before! i have of course heard the chorus in eight billion advertisements and trailers etc, but i tuned in right at the lyrics

I was a willow last night in my dream I bent down over a clear running stream Sang you the song that I heard up above And you kept me alive with your sweet flowing love

big ren faire lady of shallott vibes.

-

reading

witch hat atelier, the first twelve volumes that are out in english anyway. let's yoink the setup from the fan wiki.

Coco, a girl living in a small village, had been dreaming of becoming a magician since little. But people who don't know how to use magic since birth are unable to become magicians, or witness the moment magic occurs. But one day, Coco accidentally saw Qifrey, a magician that was visiting the village casting a spell. Ecstatic to finally know how magic works, she tries it immediately and transforms her mother into a stone statue. With the help of Qifrey and his disciples, Coco will embark in a magical journey to save her mother.

this gets a lot of ghibli comparisons, and i get it-- there's a lot of concern about healing scars from a near-cataclysmic magical war, lots of contraptions, bucolic countryside, loving shots of food, etc. i think there is a focus on academia and cohort-building, and how networking is a profession all to itself, that we do not generally see in ghibli films. i think the comp pull should go beyond the aesthetics, as well, but ghibli is still a good comp-- the world of witch hat atelier is dangerous and can hurt or kill you, but it treats the reader's heart with the same care a ghibli movie will. things may not be happily ever after or go perfectly at all times, but there are no twists for the sake of twists, and it doesn't sneer or make fun of you for caring about a character. there are no whedonesque "well THAT happened!" moments. these characters are going to learn and grow and you will learn and grow along with them goddamnit. it is queer but incidentally queer. the folx side of the fags-folx spectrum will feel very welcome here but this is not a tenderqueer kind of gay book. characters are incidentally gay because of course they are, that's just how the world works, look at all the fullness of human expression you can encounter in your one short life, why NOT be gay

i did not expect this series to kickstart a fresh wave of grief for my own academic experience. coco leans on her cohort so much and they truly do work together to solve problems and come up with good solutions and i wish i had had that kind of astronomy experience. it's kind of cold comfort that i don't know and have never heard of a woman having a good astronomy experience.

witch hat atelier: very fun to sink into the details on a page (Kamome Shirahama knows how functional but pretty clothes work), endlessly charming veneer on a very taut game of political ethics happening in the grownups' background

-

watching

happy noirvember!!!

Another Man's Poison (1952, dir. Rapper) courtesy of Kanopy's little revolving carousel of new noir films.

An English mystery writer (Bette Davis) kills her husband, then tries to kill a man (Gary Merrill) posing as her husband.

In his review in New Statesman and Nation, Frank Hauser wrote "No one has ever accused Bette Davis of failing to rise to a good script; what this film shows is how far she can go to meet a bad one."

a plot that could only happen in a country where appearances are everything. i must agree with mr hauser and most of the critics of the time who said Huh???? to the script and basic premise. AND the ending is a little too pat. a breakneck ninety minutes filmed in three months where its stage play bones show. however i really like Bette Davis and it's so much fun to watch Bette Davis pace around an English manor house like a caged tiger.

-

playing

fallow week, i am having a consistent problem with the now five year old gaming rig overheating and once i solve that issue i am very excited to play Red Dead Redemption the original (thank you again @pasta-pardner !)

-

making

deep cleaned my entire house. drove three hundred miles this weekend to pick up my sister and her friend from the airport, go to the ren faire, come back from the ren faire, and take them back to the airport. houston delivered to me some of the worst fucking driving experiences i have ever had here. really upsetting torrential downpour for nearly an hour on a road with no shoulder to speak of.

the actual ren faire was fun! i did not realize how vital a chair or bench with a fucking back was to my rest and recovery. it was nice to go with fellow adults and not help wrangle several small children, as fun as a kid-friendly experience can be. got my overpriced gyro for the year. got my bootleg anime merch for the year. wish it hadn't rained but i feel very smug for packing enough umbrellas and ponchos.