#also now i really need aaron to give one to robert

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Reasons why they should bring Seb back

Now that they’ve gone through the trouble of killing Rebecca off screen (hooray! It’s about time!), it seems only logical that they would do the right thing and bring Seb back, which means I have absolutely zero confidence in them doing so. But here’s my list of why they really really should, as I have been advocating for years now.

Section 1: It would break Aaron out of character growth jail. Since Robert went to prison, Aaron has lost so much. He’s lost a husband and a sister. He lost being a married man, owning his own home and owning his own business. And one of the most important growth things he lost was being a father. He’d already lost Seb and Ryan leaving wrecked the surrogacy story. So bringing Seb back would:

1. Allow Aaron to fulfill the dream he had of being a father and having a family. So many characters just get handed unwanted children but Aaron actually wanted to be a dad and so of course he lost out on that. Giving him Seb would allow him to realize that goal again.

2. Allow Aaron to grow up again. Since his return, he’s been angry, mean, adrift, committing petty crime again for no reason. Seb being back would give him purpose and a reason to clean up his act. It would allow him to get to be an adult again, something the character sorely needs.

3. Allow Aaron to have screen time and positive story. Aaron has been off screen a lot, so much so that all of his current relationship story development has taken place almost entirely off screen. Seb being back would give Aaron an actual story to play out, especially if there were difficulties in getting formal custody. It’s also a story that would have a happy outcome, once he gets custody, which is something the show could really use right now in the midst of all of the depressing terrible stories. And Aaron has always had such a miserable time on the show so I feel like people would root for something good to happen to him.

4. Allow Aaron to have new kinds of stories. Single Dad Aaron opens up so man new possibilities for him, being able to take on a parental role, having to think about Seb’s needs and not just his own.

5. Allow Aaron to have a full circle moment looking after a troubled kid the way Paddy looked after him.

6. Allow Aaron to interact with new characters. Single Dad Aaron would have more opportunity to interact with the other parents in the village. It might give him more reason to have a proper friendship with Billy for example aside from silly illegal boxing stories. It puts him into new circles, which can open him up for new possibilities.

Section 2: Seb gives Aaron a permanent tie to Robert. For whatever reason, the powers that be seem unwilling to let Aaron fully move on from Robert (that’s another whole post I want to write) but this would give them real reason for Robert to be a constant presence in Aaron’s life without it seeming weird or needing Ryan back. It allows him to never fully move on. The Seb/Robert connection:

1. Allows Aaron to keep Robert in his heart through Seb. He can bring him up with Seb, helping his son love his father and making sure he knows who he was/is.

2. Allows Aaron to maybe hear from Robert from time to time. Robert might have to consent to Aaron being the one to have custody of Seb and Robert wanting that, would be a nice signal to Aaron to that Robert still loves him and trusts him.

3. Allows Aaron to maybe finally deal with some of his Robert feelings in a more productive way, in a more positive way. And because he’s raising his kid, in a way that perhaps even his mother could understand and allow.

4. Allows Aaron to bring Robert up in any new relationship, not just because the show makes him accidentally sleep with Robert’s long lost gay half brother. He needs to consider Seb’s feelings in any new relationship and part of that can be whether Robert would approve of said new man in his son’s life.

5. Allows for an even more interesting return story should they ever actually coax Ryan Hawley back.

Section 3: Bringing Seb back can be a part of rebuilding the Sugdens. Obviously that was a line they used in reference to bringing John in and we’ve seen what a joke that has been. However, Seb:

1. Is the son of the ultimate Emmerdale Sugden legacy character, Robert. And he’s not retconned in the way John is. He’s someone people can watch grow up and continue the family legacy, especially if they go the full mile and give him his proper name.

2. Allows them to bring Aaron more into the Sugden family. While, yes, Seb would probably get lumped into the Dingles at times because of Aaron, Aaron can also get brought into Sugden family time, such as it is.

3. Allows them to give Vic and Harry more screen time, and use Vic’s obsessive family tendencies to get Seb back, giving her something positive to do instead of just being annoying. It maybe lets Harry become more of an actual character if he has a cousin with story potential.

4. Gives the Sugdens, such as they are, someone to rally around in general.

5. Is actually related to people like the Merricks, unlike Vic, if they wanted to explore that connection as well.

Section 4: Bringing Seb back is the perfect opportunity to use the fact that Danny is good with the kids.

1. Danny is great with the kids on screen and off and the kids seem to love him back.

2. It would be a better way to use some of his more cringe humor.

3. If they actually cast a good kid actor that Danny can play off of well, they could be such a fun little duo.

Section 5: There’s no reason not to do it. There’s nothing stopping them other than their own inability to tell a good or even mediocre story.

1. They’ve already gone through the trouble of killing Rebecca off. What was the point of that if they’re not going to bring Seb back. They’ve already done half the work.

2. It’s not contingent on getting an actor like Ryan back. They can literally cast any red headed or blonde child for the role (hopefully a good one but I digress…)

So in conclusion: BRING SEB HOME!

[bobbie-robron]

I had this in my drafts for a VERY long time and decided to finally update and post after the muck up the show has done with the arrival of the so-called new Sugden (give me a DNA test that conclusively proves he is actually Jack’s son and not someone with ulterior motives against the family).

If the show was REALLY serious about reinvigorating the Sugden name, there’s no better character to do that than Kathy Brookman who had been married to Robert’s brother, Jackie, until his untimely accidental death (the show adores killing off THE ORIGINAL LEGACY FAMILY members that are the Merricks or Sugdens as the first option). She was PART of the family and would have known Robert’s biological mum Pat (if they ever want Robert to learn more about her one day). She would also have known Robert’s other LIVING sister, Sandie (recast to bring her back). She also is one of the remaining characters that would have a true link to the current village of the damned in the form of Eric Pollard!

What would be great with Kathy too is that she KNEW Robert since he was a baby and she was there for all of Christopher!Robert’s time there. She would have SEEN and had KNOWN how much pressure Jack would have been placing on sensitive and scholarly Robert to take over the farm one day and he having zero interest in doing so… he had other plans to be something more… leading to tension between father and son. She was there when Robert ran away when his parents fought.

She was there when Robert lost the only mum he ever knew and adored and saw how it affected him so much so that he wanted to stay with his much adored gran Annie rather than remain in the same home with the person who caused the fire… Andy… learning about it only hours earlier and Jack not willing to ease things for him.

When Andy came onto the scene, it was Andy she would have thought would have landed in prison (shocked faces). He was trouble with a capital T, a tearaway, a good liar (Robert was shocked when seeing Andy lie for the first time) and a bully. She might be the only other person besides Aaron that might know the Jack secret and could actually be Robert’s unconditional supporter. I would fully support the pedestal Vic keeps Jack on to collapse at long last and see things in other than rose colored glasses.

In closing, Kathy has actual history that could be told because she called the village of the damned her home for so many years. She KNEW Robert and hopefully would knock down the IM bs that Robert was born evil. He wasn’t, the complete opposite, but needed more than what Jack was offering during his childhood and teen years. Tack on the fact that both Jack and Sarah were cheaters (Jack’s cheating was swept under the rug and rarely mentioned later) and seemingly being usurped by his adopted brother dud not help matters. Plus, Kathy has a now over 20-year-old daughter who could make rounds.

There is just so much more than what is being offered up which has nothing to do with the Sugden name whatsoever right now. But, then again, the show is about tabloid/wash-rinse-repeat plots rather than organic storytelling that is allowed to actually breathe to get from one point to another properly.

[hummusandcoriander]

Whilst I'm not one of the Robert fans who believes introducing John is the worst storyline ever and that he's identical to Robert (he's nothing like him), I do think this storyline makes more sense if Robert is returning. If he's really not coming back and Ryan's turned them down, I do find it strange that the show would want to remind the audience of Robron so much. I'm willing to give the storyline a chance either way because I'm enjoying the show at the moment but if they want the audience to invest in a new relationship for Aaron then linking it to Robert and Robron is an interesting choice! I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but the way this is being written seems to make it more likely Robert is returning not less, right?

Hi anon,

I'm kinda of the same mind tbh, it's what makes the most sence. Now of course this is Emmerdale and what makes the most sense is not guaranteed to happen but...

Put it this way if all of this was about establishing John as Aaron's next great love then I would have expected the scenes John has had with Mack to be with Aaron (for reasons Emmerdale hinted at by having Nate rib Mackenzie about having a crush on John) I also wouldn't have expected them to hook up so quickly.

That doesn't mean I don't expect them to be together at any point. I am very prepared for them to have a relationship, heck I need it to happen for me to get my affair era 2.0 lol if John and Aaron don't end up together then I'll start to worry about Robert not coming back!!

As for the fan theories about Ryan and Daisy "coming from money" so not needing to work that badly, well those fans most be fairly new because some of us remember that Ryan was working in the kitchesn of restaurant chains to make ends meet before he got the part of Robert. Daisy has a good job now and Ryan would have earned good money while on Emmerdale, that doesn't mean they have a never ending supply of money. Actors want to work, they want to act. It's a vocation and a passion for them and parents want to provide for their families. He has landed some decent jobs since leaving but nothing that has really set the world alight or that he couldn't have landed before Emmerdale (and actually both those projects likely came through Emmerdale connections) He may be patient enough to want to keep trying to land something big or he may realise that he had on of the best gigs out there for an actor in todays climate and come home. Neither is a certainty.

I don't think John's introduction is lazy at all as some have claimed, to me it is an interesting idea and makes sense from a character and story perspective.

John looks a bit like Robert but personality wise is nothing like him. Also John looks nothing like Andy but personality wise is a bit like him (which is interesting from a nature v nurture perspective)

So you have 3 long running characters who all have a reason to be drawn to him.

Sarah who misses her dad and sees something of John in him (regardless of blood relation or not)

Aaron who misses his ex-husband and is reminded of him in John

Victoria who misses both of her brothers and her dad.

It's interesting and I am looking forward to seeing how it plays out. I didn't enjoy Emmerdale last year but this year it has been excellent, Laura Shaw has been doing a cracking job (with Kate and now Sophie). Long may it continue.

I refuse to make myself unhappy by being all doom and gloom about Ryan's chances of coming back, if it doesn't happen I'll cope as I have done the past 5 years. But atm I'm optimistic and enjoying.

[thelovetheystole]

One last dig into the character returning in January. Another long one.

The last one is obviously a blinditem, but it does feel like it fits the original teaser above.

The top contenders seem to be Vanessa, Kerry and Robert (🤡)

Since Chloe has left the show, she will not be in trouble and need help from Kerry. Amy seems to be ok too. Don't know what Amelia is up to (and don't care) but it seems farfetched that Kerry would come back now and not when Dan first got sent down. However, Laura N is supposed to be coming back at some point.

If the returning character is Vanessa, my first guess would be to help Tracy, but from the spoilers for Jan 9th, the truth about the affair isn't out as of then. If the blinditem is for Emmerdale, would Tracy's life spiral out of control in a few short weeks If she was dumped by Nate?

Charity could very well be needing help right now, after accidentally shooting someone and with Mack out of control stealing cars. I also heard Moses is being bullied. But would anyone expect her ex Vanessa to be the one to come back to help her with problems related to the man who came between them, who I guess is still Charity's husband? But we do know Michelle H is coming back, and probably very soon.

We know Aaron's life isn't great, and with the car stealing and violent clash with Cain it's definitely escalating in January. He could either be seriously injured or in trouble with the police. He needs help for sure, but as far as we know, Robert is still in prison. Would he really be out in January without Victoria knowing about it in December? And of course we have no idea if Ryan wants to come back.

I doubt the show would call Seb a 'familar face', and Aaron probably needs more help than a 6-year old can give.

I guess there is also a chance it could be Adam, but between Waterloo Road, his other ventures and his medical condition, I really can't speculate about Adam T. Also, Adam was with Aaron in Italy I believe, and he wasn't able to give Aaron the help he needed then it would seem.

[watching-tv]

I’m going to watch all the British soaps this week (8/26-8/30) without having watched them in a very long time or ever. Here are my thoughts for the episodes on Monday. I’ll do the different parts for each day

Side note: I’ve watched hollyoaks before and a bit of emmerdale (Aaron & Robert’s storyline & the Jackson stuff) I haven’t kept up with either since maybe 2018 or 2019. + I’ll skip things if I find them too much or uncomfortable

Day 1 - August 26

Hollyoaks

Has the best title sequence

Where I was watching it muted when there was music so I didn’t get to watch the scene with sienna. The last scene wasn’t muted but I didn’t understand what was happening with Patrick and the other woman (who I think I know but can’t remember)

I didn’t like the Cleo story

I didn’t fully understand the stuff with kitty and that man but ngl I was kinda siding with him if kitty killed his daughter and someone named beaux went to prison for it but he seemed to want to keep beaux in prison so I think I needed more context there

My favorite story of this was the James and ste stuff. I read James is sick so I’ll probably start fast forwarding that now. But I liked the part with Leah, Lucas, and Dillion. I think the acting from whoever plays ste and James were great today! James especially did really well I think. I was a bit shocked at how good his acting was ngl

Emmerdale

It was a lot easier to follow hollyoaks right off the bat because I knew a lot of the characters. From this ep, I only knew Cain, Chas, Moira, and jai

I’m a bit confused with this stuff with dawn. And are her dads wife (Kim) and dawns mom played by the same person?

I’m obsessed with Mack! He’s hilarious

Is Moira having a mental breakdown?

Eastenders

Are the guy in the blue button up and the guy in the white shirt a couple? They are either a couple or brothers right?

I like how they film the street scenes

I’m LOVING the diversity! Everyone looks different

I find the flow a bit odd. Everything seems like a stage play to me

Sydney cheating on ian with junior is wild. They don’t care like at ALL

The guy breaking into that other guys house and nothing even happened. He also admired to murder so casually. This show is so unserious ���

The casting for penny and Amy is good. I think they look the sisters

Not that one girls friends leaving her and not even realizing she didn’t go in when she was the one who wanted to go 💀

Wow this is a mess. Hopefully penny loses her business because so much went wrong here.

Coronation street

This one is a bit long. I thought it would be around 20 minutes like the other 3

It’s too long for me I think

A cult storyline? Gotta love it

END IT WITH HER? They are together? Nick and toyah what are you doing? This is insane. Leanne deserves better!

Nick seems familiar to me. Idk why

AMY DONT GIVE THEM YOUR INHERITANCE

What did mason do to Dylan?

[yr-obedt-cicero]

Wait, wait, wait, what’s that about Troup and Hamilton having more than friendship? There were some homo undertones in their letters too?

Not in their letters, but particularly their bond while they were roommates in college. I'm not entirely convinced they were lovers, but I can see why some people would think such.

Robert Troup (1756-1832) was born in New Jersey, and was Hamilton's undergraduate roommate at King’s College (Columbia University), and it was during that time that they formed a friendship that would last the rest of their lives. Troup studied law, like Hamilton, but was under John Jay. The two actually had a lot in common; both of them were orphans trying to get ahead, with very little money of their own. Although they had very different preferences in the choices they made. While Hamilton paid little attention to his personal finances, Troup was often always worrying over money. Hamilton also considered a moment wasted if it was not spent advancing his status or making an appearance, Troup - on the other hand - never sought glory for himself, and was willing to be a follower. This polarization sometimes clashed between them, but it would ultimately be one of the components that made them so successful when they worked together in politics.

Anyway, the suspicion of anything deeper being in their friendship comes from their subtle choices and behavior towards each other. Chernow writes how the two shared beds while rooming together;

“At King's, Troup wrote, ‘...they occupied the same room and slept in the same bed’ and continued to live together for a time after Troup graduated.”

(source — Alexander Hamilton, by Ron Chernow)

This would have been really unnecessary, because I'm pretty sure dorms would have supplied two beds if students were rooming together. But then again; sleeping in a bed with someone of the same sex wasn't seen as a big deal during the colonial days.

Troup also wrote that Hamilton gave him some poems in honor of their friendship, although he just-so-happened to lose them later during the war;

“After giving this hint of the General’s poetical vein, I ought to mention, that whilst he was in college, he now and then paid his court to the muses; and as a pledge of his friendship, he presented me with a small manuscript of fugitive poetry; the amusement of his leisure hours. I was not a little pleased with the pledge–I considered the poetry, as strong evidence of the elasticity of the General’s genius–and I have often lamented that the manuscript was lost, with my books and papers, during the War.”

(source — Library of Congress)

When considering the nature of Hamilton's usual poetry, many have theorized that these poems were homoerotic and Troup destroyed them to protect Hamilton's name. The only doubt I have in mind to this suggestion, is that if they were truly so concerning and laced with homosexual intentions; why would Troup bother to write about them at all? He may have just genuinely lost them.

Anyway, Troup continued to live with Hamilton for a year after his graduation. Many say that it was because they had become romantically attached. But it is also likely that because they were also both orphans, who were trying to get their education and start a career for themselves — Troup continuing to live with Hamilton may have just been an economic choice of living. As they couldn't live and educate themselves for entirety with the money they loaned from friends and family. Additionally, living together briefly would also not be entirely strange for friends, even then.

Troup also had other relationships with others that have been theorized to have been same sex relationships, especially with Aaron Burr. But I'll leave that for you to read if you'd like.

Troup also helped lend money to Hamilton when he needed it for the Federalist papers;

“Received of Robert Troupe Esquire Eighty nine pounds on account of a purchase upon a Sheriffs sale

January 2d, 1788 A Hamilton”

(source — sethkaller)

I was more of referring to Chernow's negligence - or rather ignorance - to Hamilton's bisexuality. Because the theory of Troup and Hamilton having a relationship is still quite faulty to believe.

[miss-bookworm]

robron + forehead kisses

[sugdenlovesdingle]

Robron week day 6 - Holiday in the sun

Upgrade (AO3)

the Barcelona trip that never was during the boyfriend era.

A/N: This is day 6 and I know the last one i posted was day 2 - I do have fics for the other days too but you know *gestures vaguely*. But I'll still be posting the other fics as soon as I've managed to actually finish them. So keep an eye out for those if you’re interested.

---

After the flight from hell, a mix up with the car rental meaning they couldn’t get the flashy sports car they’d booked, and an honest to god pouting Robert at the car they did get, they were finally at their hotel for a long overdue and much deserved holiday.

“The place looks amazing.” Aaron commented. “I didn’t think you’d book anything this fancy.”

“I got a good deal.” Robert just said as they grabbed their bags from the boot of the car. “I wanted it to be perfect. It’s our first holiday together.” He sighed. “But it’s all ruined already.”

“What are you talking about? This hotel is amazing, and the city we just drove through is beautiful, and the weather is great.”

“And the rental car is a scrapheap on wheels.”

“Don’t be so dramatic.” Aaron pressed a kiss to his lips, catching himself looking over his shoulder to see if the coast was clear before he did so. Old habits die hard. “It’s fine. It got us here. Come on let’s go check in. I need a shower to wash all this airport grime off of me.”

Robert huffed but locked the car and followed him inside.

“It is a nice place isn’t it?” he said, walking into the lobby. “There’s a pool and a tennis court.”

“You don’t play tennis.” Aaron pointed out. “Neither do I.”

“No… but we could start…”

Aaron gave him a look that said he wasn’t interested in picking up a new hobby.

“Or not…” Robert trailed off and then suddenly got a mischievous glint in his eyes Aaron knew all too well. It was one of the things that had made him fall so hard and fast for him in the first place.

But it also usually meant trouble.

“I know that look… what are you up to?”

“Nothing bad, I promise. Just follow my lead.” Robert said and walked up to the front desk. “Hi, we’re checking in.” he told the girl.

She gave him a friendly smile and turned to her computer.

“Welcome to our hotel. What name is it under?”

“Sugden.”

“S-U-G-D-E-N?”

“That’s right.”

The girl nodded and typed in the name.

“Ah yes, here you are. A double room with ensuite and balcony facing south.”

“Is that the honeymoon suite?”

“No… you didn’t book the honeymoon suite. According to the computer you booked one of our king-size suites with private bathroom and balcony.”

“No I didn’t. I booked the honeymoon suite. This is our honeymoon. We got married three days ago.”

“Oh… right… uhm… well… congratulations… But I can’t give you the honeymoon suite. I can only give you the room you booked.”

“Which is the honeymoon suite.” Robert insisted.

“Do you have a booking confirmation for me?” The girl asked and Aaron assumed this is where he would have to admit defeat.

“Yes, of course.” Robert took his phone out of his pocked and scrolled through his emails. “Here it is. But there is no mention of the kind of room I booked, just the dates. But I know I booked the honeymoon suite. This is our honeymoon.” He said again.

The girl checked the email and typed something in the computer.

“Right… but if I enter your booking reference, I get the same room that’s listed under your name. King, private balcony. ”

“Well obviously there’s been some kind of mistake then.” Robert crossed his arms in front of his chest.

“I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do about that. I can only offer you the room you’ve booked according to the computer.”

“Really? You make a mistake and now you’re making me pay more for less? I paid for the honeymoon suite and now you’re making me stay in a regular room?” Robert asked, raising his voice, well aware they had gathered an audience of other guests waiting to check in.

“I… I can offer you a free breakfast for the duration of your stay.”

“Breakfast was included.”

“Right… I’ll… uh… call someone to help you. One moment please.” The girl said and picked up the phone by the front desk. “If you could just step aside, someone will be here shortly.”  

“The manager I hope.” Robert muttered, not quite under his breath as he stepped aside to make room for an elderly couple. “Make sure you get the room you paid for.” He warned them.

Aaron walked up to him and pressed a kiss to Robert’s shoulder to hide his smile.

“You’re going in the guests from hell book.”

“Maybe. But I will be the guest from hell in the honeymoon suite.” Robert replied with a grin Aaron couldn’t help but kiss off his face.

A few minutes later a second woman appeared behind the front desk and the first filled her in on the situation, motioning to Robert and Aaron.

The second woman nodded and made her way over to them.

“My colleague tells me there is a problem with your booking?”

“Are you the manager?” Robert asked instead of answering.

“Yes I am. How can I help you?”

“I want the room I paid for.”

“Of course. But your booking confirmation states something different than what you told my colleague.”

“Oh are you calling me a liar now?”

“Rob…” Aaron started, squeezing Robert’s arm.

“No baby, I just want to give you the best honeymoon ever. It’s what you deserve.” Robert vowed, taking Aaron’s face in his hands and pressing a kiss to his lips, before turning back to the woman. “Now are you going to help me do that or are you going to make me let my husband down less than a week into our marriage?”

The woman gave him a tight smile.

“I’ll be happy to give you the room you booked, and a complimentary champagne breakfast to make up for the misunderstanding.”

“The room I booked. You mean the honeymoon suite, right? Because that’s what I booked.”

“According to the computer - ”

“Yes, but as we’ve already established, the computer is wrong.” Robert interrupted her. “Now are you going to give me the room I booked, or do I have to take my business elsewhere?”

“I’ll… go make sure your room is ready for you.” The woman, said after a minute, apparently deciding to just give Robert what he wanted instead of arguing with him any further.

“The honeymoon suite?”

“Of course. I’ll make sure the champagne is chilled, myself.” She gave him another tight smile and left.

“Thank you.” Robert sighed. “All this drama to just get the room you paid for.” He said, mostly to Aaron but definitely aware people were watching and listening in on their conversation.

“You’re a nightmare.” Aaron said softly, shaking his head and turning his back to their audience so they wouldn’t see him laughing.

“I think it’s sweet.” The woman from the couple checking in after them told them. “It’s been a long time since this one made such a fuss to make sure I got the holiday I wanted.” She nodded at her husband.

“It’s for me too. I like a little luxury every now and then.” Robert replied easily. “And if you can’t treat yourself on your honeymoon, when can you?” 

“Exactly.” She agreed. “You boys enjoy yourselves. And congratulations. You make a lovely couple.”

They thanked her as she and her husband walked away and a few minutes later, a guy in the hotel uniform showed up with a trolley for their luggage to take them to their room.

“Hi, my name is Andres. Laura, the manager, got called away but she told me to make sure everything is to your satisfaction.” He told them and loaded their bags onto the trolley.

“We can carry our own bags…” Aaron trailed off.

“Yeah but why would we if we don’t have to?” Robert said, slinging an arm around his waist and following the guy to the lifts.

“So, you’re on your honeymoon here?” Andres asked after the lift doors closed.

“Yeah, that’s right.” Robert lied. “It seemed like a nice place to relax for a week.”

Andres nodded.

“We get a lot of couples who come down here for a romantic getaway. There is a nice restaurant by the beach if you don’t want to eat in the hotel. It’s got great food and the place just looks amazing after dark. Really romantic. It’s just down the road. You can’t miss it.”

“Thanks. We’ll keep that in mind.”

Just as Aaron wondered how much longer they’d have to endure small talk, the lift doors opened and Andres announced they’d reached their floor.

“Just follow me and I’ll get you settled in.” he said and started walking down the corridor while rattling off breakfast times and housekeeping policies. “Here we are.” He opened the door and stepped aside to let Robert and Aaron in.

The room was nothing short of amazing, and Aaron barely stopped himself from actually letting out a gasp.

“Here are your bags, do you want me to open the champagne for you?” Andres offered.

“No thanks, we’ll do that ourselves. We’d like to relax now, it’s been a long day.” Robert said and slipped the guy a tenner before all but shoving him out the door and closing it behind him. “Alone at last.”

“You’re a nightmare you know that?” Aaron said affectionately.

“Maybe.” Robert shrugged and made his way over to Aaron who was still standing in the middle of the room. “But it got us the honeymoon suite.”

“They’re going to hate us. They already do.”

Robert shrugged again.

“I don’t care. They wouldn’t be the firsts to hate me. I’m used to it.” He put his hands on Aaron’s hips and pulled him closer. “There’s only one person here I want to like me.”

“Yeah? Who? The lad from the bags? Or Laura the manager?” Aaron teased but the look on Robert’s face was serious.

“No, you. You’re all I need.” he leaned forward and softly kissed Aaron. “Though the free champagne doesn’t hurt either.” He said and they both laughed.

“Go on then, open it.”

“I thought you wanted a shower?”

“Shower can wait.” Aaron shook his head. “Apparently I got married three days ago and I’m on my honeymoon now, I want to enjoy it.”

Robert laughed and opened the bottle and poured them both a glass.

“Well then, cheers husband.”

“Cheers. To us.” Aaron clinked his glass against Robert’s and took a sip. “Ugh I hate this stuff.”

“That’s because you’re not drinking it right.”

“What are you talking about? It’s a drink. In a glass. I’ve managed that pretty well the past 24 years or so.”

Robert grinned and took his free hand, pulling him over to the bed.

“You’re standing and you’re wearing clothes.” He said, sitting down and waiting for Aaron to join him. “It’s all wrong. We have to change that.”

Aaron rolled his eyes at the cheesy come on but was more than happy to go along with it.

The physical part of their relationship had always been one of the main attractions after all.

And, he figured, after all the fuss Robert had kicked up downstairs to get them the honeymoon suite, the least they could do is put the massive bed to good use.

He let Robert take off his hoodie and soon the rest of their clothes followed, and they discovered all of the ways in which to enjoy champagne besides drinking it.

Afterwards they lay wrapped up in each other’s arms, dozing and just enjoying being together without anything or anyone about to interrupt them.

Aaron moved onto his side and propped himself up on his elbow, tracing the freckles on Robert’s body with his fingers.

He had his eyes closed but Aaron knew he was awake. The smile tugging at his lips the ultimate giveaway.

“Stop it. That tickles.” He grabbed Aaron’s hand, brushed a kiss over the knuckles and pressed it to his chest. “Let’s just take a nap. We’ll order room service later. I can’t be arsed to get dressed up to go out.”

“I’m not tired.”

Robert opened one eye and grinned.

“Guess I’m losing my touch then.”

Aaron laughed.

“Is this the part where I tell you that you’ve still got it and you’re the best I’ve ever had?”

“Preferably.”

Aaron shook his head before leaning in and kissing him.

“You’ve still got it and you’re the best I’ve ever had. Happy?”

“Hmm. Very.” Robert replied and they both knew they weren’t talking about the fishing for compliments anymore.

“Me too.” Aaron replied, brushing Robert’s messy bed hair off his face. “This holiday is amazing. Thank you.” He leaned in for another kiss. “But you didn’t have to book us this expensive hotel, you know. I would have been happy with some B&B or hostel or something. I would’ve slept in that dodgy rental car with you if it meant getting you on your own and away from the madness.”

Robert scrunched up his nose.

“Don’t remind me of that thing please.”

“It’s not that bad. Next time we’ll just drive your car over here. So you’ll have your baby right here.”

“Next time? So there will be a next time then?”

“I hope so.” Aaron said, lying back down. “Knowing my family, this won’t be the last time we need to get away from it all.”

Robert didn’t say anything but Aaron considered the huff he let out as an agreement.

“Just promise me one thing…”

“What?”

“Don’t ever call me baby again.”

“Ok… honey bunny. Sweetie pie. Sugar plum. Cupcake. Sweetheart. Boo bear. Dream boat.” Robert teased, laughing harder at every silly pet name. “Sweet cheeks. Pumpkin. Pookie. Buttercup. Sweet pea. My precious.”

“Or any of those.” Aaron said laughingly and tried to bat Robert’s hands away when he started tickling him with every new pet name he thought of.

“Sunshine. Romeo. McDreamy. Hot lips.” Robert pushed him onto his back and straddled his waist, pinning his hands above his head. “Stud Muffin. Lover boy. Casanova. Hot stuff.” He leaned forward and captured Aaron’s lips in a kiss, all teasing and a start of something more.

Suddenly Aaron didn’t mind the pet names so much anymore.

[blaringloudandproud]

I showed my friend @gaym83 who knows nothing about AEW or wrestling pictures of AEW wrestlers and these are his thoughts

Tony Khan-“Nervous gay office worker”

Kenny Omega-“He looks like a movie director from marvel but also an actor in a marvel movie”

Cody Rhodes-“gay (homophobic)”

Sammy Guevara-“gay (homophobic) 2. Alternatively, masc Adam Lambert”

Penta El Zero M-“Joker if he was unhinged in a way that’s to the right of the way he’s currently unhinged if that makes sense”

Adam Page-“Country himbo in the best way”

Tay Conti-“Lesbian?”

The Young Bucks-“Gay Geminis”

FTR-“Gay geminis 2:electeic boogaloo”

Jungle Boy-“Pansexual recently turned werewolf”

Luchasaurus-“Sea man”

The Acclaimed-“DJs at a rave nightclub”

MJF-“Scottish Henry”

Chuck and Trent-“Gay tiktok couple”

Matt Hardy-“Severely bigoted evangelist pastor in a covid central mega church. Just some really bad vibes here.”

Miro-“Mood,I think”

Orange Cassidy-“Someone you’d see in a Ford truck commercial”

Darby Allin-“Actor at a haunted attraction”

Chris Jericho-“Isn’t that Brent Buckle?”

Jon Moxley-“*sends shocked pikachu meme*•

Eddie Kingston-“Disappointed dad”

Kip Sabian and Penelope Ford-“Gay twins (non Gemini form)”

Sting-“Dracula if he was in KISS”

Proud n Powerful-“Table cat meme”

Frankie Kazarian-“John Barrowman????????”

Christian Cage-“Spider man villain”

Nyla Rose-“Character in a 90’s witchy movie”

Jake Hager-“Real estate agent named Ryan”

Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky-“Sam and Bucky in a different universe”

Brian Cage-“The type of guy that people think is just a brooding asshole but is secretly a big softie that loves small animals”

Powerhouse Hobbs-“Actor in 80s sci fi movie”

Marko Stunt-“Straight guy that went to warped tour with his gay best friend”

Wardlow-“Aquaman”

PAC-“Aquaman turned villain”

Lance Archer-“Biker with some vibes I can’t place”

Michael Nakazawa-“Cool dad”

Shawn Spears-“Reaction photo energy”

The Dark Order-“People i want to be friends with”

Private Party-“90s movie characters”

Christopher Daniels-“Former marvel character”

Dustin Rhodes-“What’s that skeleton n@$i guy from the first captain America? Cause that’s what I think of when I see this guy. I feel kinda bad saying that but like”

Abadon the Monster-“Goth tiktoker”

Kris Statlander-“Poison Ivy as a wrestler”

Rey Fenix-“Trans posion ivy as a wrestler”

Joey Janela-“Another DJ at a rave nightclub”

QT Marshall-“Owner of an Italian-American restaurant”

Varsity Blondes-“gay best friend duo”

Aaron Solow-“Chill college professor, Probably teaches in the humanities department”

Nick Comoroto-“Rob Zombie stunt double”

Riho-“Chill bisexual”

Brandon Cutler-“Marvel villain”

Sereena Deeb-“Cool lesbian that used to be married to a man”

Leva Bates-“Chill youth group leader that aggressively validates your gender and sexuality and gets mad when people are transphobic/homophobic to you”

Matt Sydal-“Super chill lgbtq+ ally”

TH2-“Twenty One Pilots from another universe”

Andrade El Idolo-“Gay capitalist son of some greedy ceo”

Sonny Kiss-“Femme twink”

Jade Cargill-“Instagram influencer”

Britt Baker-“Bisexual icon”

Hikaru Shida-“Bisexual again”

Anthony Ogogo-“Superhero actor”

Layla Hirsch-“Cool lesbian that defends her trans best friend”

Red Velvet-“Cool mom”

Rebel-“She looks like she’d sic her severely homophobic boyfriend or male family member on me”

The Butcher and the Blade-“Gay leather dads”

The Bunny-“Jenna Marbles turned goth”

Bear Country-“Chaotic best friends hanging out”

Chaos Project-“Unhinged gay anarchists”

Big Swole-“She looks like a super fun person to be friends with”

The Gunn Club-“My three braincells”

The Wingmen-“friend group of gay men”

Fuego del sol-“Idk why but I immediately thought of barnacle boy from spongebob”

Paul Wight and Mark Henry-“Need anchors on the same news thing that have a close friendship”

Ref Aubrey-“Either a lesbian or a severely homophobic evangelist” *i tell him shes bi* “Good for her!”

AEW broadcast team-“Podcasters”

Justin Roberts-“Why do so many of these people look like homophobic evangelist pastors?”

Taz-“Former homophobe that turned into a very enthusiastic ally after his daughter came out”

Vicki Guerrero-“Chill lesbian mom on a 2000s Disney show”

Jake “the Snake” Roberts-“He’d call me a slur on the street”

Don Callis-“Now this guy looks like he’d give me a conversion therapy pamphlet”

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

Last Christmas

Day 2

What if the reunion never happened and Robert did go home with Mike? What would next Christmas look like?

(AO3 link)

*****

That’s why I need to do this, step aside, let you go

“Aaron! There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere.” Vic comes bouncing up to him, nearly making him drop his pint.

“Where?”

“Home, the scrapyard.” She waved a hand at his rolling eyes. “Anyway, me and Adam, we’re having a party on Christmas Eve and you’re invited. With a plus one obviously.”

“Like that’s going to happen the way my life’s going.” He looked at her. “Is Robert going to be there?”

“I think so. It depends if…well if Mike’s working or not. But say you’ll come, please! Adam will be so disappointed if you don’t.”

“Maybe.” He can already see the pout starting. “I said maybe Vic.”

“You know you broke up with him, you went to the hospital last year and told him you couldn’t be with him. He moved on Aaron, so maybe you should too.” With that she’s gone and when he turns back to his drink he sees his Mum looking at him. “What?”

“Nothing. She is right though, there’s no point wondering about what might have been. He’s happy, maybe you need to try and find that too. I thought that Alex…”

“No.”

“Aaron, you didn’t give him a chance.”

“Because it was never anything more than a couple of dates. You and Liv kept pushing so I just put up with it but I was bored Mum.”

“Well someone else then. Just because he wasn’t right doesn’t mean someone else won’t be. Oh don’t give me that look.”

“They won’t. You don’t get it. I had perfect, I had the right one and I let him go.”

“He broke your heart.”

“I broke his too, more than once. You never got it, me and him. All you saw was the bad stuff. I saw that too but I also saw the real Robert.”

“I am not going to apologise for disliking the man who hurt you Aaron.” She sighed, reaching for his hand. “If you really feel that way, why don’t you try. Maybe he feels the same as you.”

“He doesn’t. You’ve seen him with Mike, they’re good together and now he sees Seb every other weekend. I’m not wading in and ruining that.” He downed the rest of his pint, needing space. “I’m going home.”

“Aaron no…stay, we’ll talk.”

“There’s nothing else to say is there. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

_____

What kind of friend would you be to me Aaron?

He hasn’t see Victoria since she invited him and he’s risking breakfast in the cafe, hoping she won’t ambush him again. He’s very tempted by the party but he knows it’ll be awkward.

He’s met Mike more than once since the night outside the club, and he’s nice, he’s funny and he’s probably perfect for Robert, but they’ve been fleeting occurrences, in the pub or at village events because every time he sees them he remembers what he’s lost. He doesn’t know how he’ll feel about attending a Christmas party with them together.

“Tea please Brenda, and not that weak stuff you normally make, a proper cuppa.”

“Manners cost nothing you know.”

“Making friends again I see.” Robert’s voice comes from behind him and he swivels round. He looks amazing. Now he’s got past everything with the Whites and his stupid revenge he looks so much happier, more relaxed. The little boy he’s holding onto has helped with that he knows. “Hi.”

“Hi. Hey Seb, you keeping Daddy company today?” He tickles the little boys foot, making him giggle and squirm in Robert’s arms.

“Yeah, we’re going to buy a Christmas tree, aren’t we, eh? Cos Mummy is feeling extra generous and letting you spend Christmas with me.”

“Really?” He knew that Rebecca could still be difficult when it came to access although Robert is grateful for any given what had happened. “That’s great Rob, really.”

He steps back, can feel himself acting like they’re still together, the soft voice he uses, everything that he shouldn’t be doing unless they’re together.

“Brenda, make it to go will ya?” He yells into the back, ignoring that Robert looks disappointed. “Early pick up.”

“Yeah course. Um…Vic mentioned she’d invited you to the party.”

“Thinking of giving it a miss.”

“Oh. Well I was going to say, if it’s because of me, me and Mike, we just won’t go.”

“What? No. Don’t be daft. Vic’s your sister. Not really my thing to be honest.”

“Since when?” He shrugs not looking at him, grateful that Brenda hands him his tea and he can leave.

“I’ve got to go. See you around. Bye mate.” He tickles Seb once more and he’s gone.

As he’s driving out to Hotten he thinks back to the year before, having to take Rebecca to hospital, feeling completely out of place and then Robert was there and they couldn’t stop staring at each other. He’d thought he’d hate the little boy, thought he could never look at him and not see Rebecca, remember what happened. In reality it’s nothing like that, he’s just a little boy, cute as hell and looking exactly like Robert. He's even watched him a few times when Robert or Vic have been in a fix. He can’t help thinking that if he’d felt that way the year before that none of it would’ve happened, he would never have broken it off and he wouldn’t be alone now, watching Robert move on.

_____

I care about you more than I care about myself which is a lot

The day of the party dawns and he’s still adamant he’s not going. His Mum and Vic have been on at him all week but he keeps telling them he’s decided. He hasn’t seen Robert since the day in the cafe, keeping out of the way, staying at home once he’d closed up the yard. He’s decorated and everything, mostly for Liv, but she’s off in Ireland now so he’s alone. He’s supposed to be going up to the farm for Jessie and Marlon’s wedding the next day but he can’t be bothered, will probably spend the day playing video games or binging more Top Gear. He has no desire to be jolly and happy at a wedding when his life is such a mess.

A part of him keeps thinking about the party and whether he should go. Adam’s been on at him all week in that puppy dog way of his and he doesn’t want to let him down. It’s been a tough year for him and finally he’s starting to come out the other side so he should support him. He also think it looks like he’s avoiding Robert and even though he is, he doesn’t want everyone else to know.

He’s still undecided by the time the party is meant to start and he argues with himself a bit longer before making a decision. He can’t avoid every party or place Robert goes to forever, not unless he wants to become a hermit. Decision made he runs upstairs, putting on his best jeans and shirt, tells himself he’s not making himself look good for anyone, but he’s not convincing.

His confidence falters the nearer he gets to the house but he makes himself carry on and then he’s being grabbed by Adam.

"Get off! Shouldn’t you be in the house?”

“Beer run. Decided to come then.”

“Couldn’t leave you pining for me now could I?”

“Robert’s here.”

“And?”

“Just sayin’. You’re looking smart. Not dressing up for anyone are you?”

“You of course. I can’t keep it in any longer. I’ve tried mate, but I just can’t get over you.” He teases him, ducking away from his as he goes to shove him, laughing for the first time in days.

Vic’s house is small enough that you can’t avoid people, even at a party when it’s full, and he spots Robert straight away. He’s wearing his favourite shirt, the dark blue one with the white specks like the night sky. He loves that shirt. He swallows and looks away as he smiles at Mike, turning to grab a can from the side. He should’ve stayed at home, everyone’s in a couple except him it looks like.

“Aaron! You made it.” Vic shouts from across the room, making Robert look over, smiling at him, him nodding back. Would it ever not hurt, would he ever stop blaming himself.

“Couldn’t have you saying I never make an effort could I?”

“You know he misses you.”

“Vic, don’t.”

“I’m just saying, he might be with Mike and they might be happy but he misses you.”

“Like you said he’s happy, and that’s good so…let’s just leave it yeah?” She nods reluctantly and he can’t help hugging her. She’s his oldest friend and he hates that disappointed look she gets. “Now, are you going to put some decent music on?”

_____

I’ll be the best friend you’ve ever had

He’s coming out of the bathroom when he bumps into him. He’d managed to avoid an actual conversation all night but now there’s no avoiding it.

“Alright?”

“Are you avoiding me?” Typical Robert, never one to bother with small talk.

“What? No. Why would I?”

“That’s what I wondered. Did I do something? Was it the other day with Seb?”

“Course not. Anyway where is he tonight? Thought you’d be doing the whole milk for Santa thing.”

“Diane’s got him, pretty much snatched him from me on the doorstep. He’s too young for that anyway. Still didn’t answer my question, because you are avoiding me.” He’s had enough now, he’s the one all over his boyfriend and he’s asking Aaron what the matter is. He has no right to be annoyed but he is and he can’t just switch it off.

“You’re imagining it.”

“I’m not. You were the one who said we could be mates and just lately you’re like a cat on a hot tin roof every time I’m around. Have you got a problem with me and Mike? Or is it that he’s a guy? Not what you expected. Thought I’d ‘go back to women’ or whatever it is you’ve concocted in your head.” He flushes at that, knew he’d never been the most understanding or considerate when it came to Robert’s sexuality, his own insecurities getting in the way of supporting him, but he can’t listen to it, he’s getting too close to the truth. He couldn’t care less who he’s with or what gender they are, it’s the fact he’s with anyone at all that’s bothering him.

“Get lost Robert.” He pushes past him and runs down the stairs and out the door, ignoring his shout, no idea where he’s going.

He doesn’t stop until he’s at the bridge. Their bridge. He laughs to himself, they didn’t have anything any more.

“Thank God you’ve stopped running, I’m out of shape.” Came the breathless voice behind him.

“Go back to the party Robert.”

“No.”

“You’re annoying you know that?”

“It’s been said. Come on, talk to me. We always used to be able to talk. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just leave it.”

“I’m not stupid. I know what this is all about. What I don’t get is why. I thought it was because I was with Mike but we’ve been going out since February and you and I were fine ’til just recently.”

“You don’t know anything.”

“I know that you’re wishing we were still together, that you hadn’t told me you couldn’t be with me last Christmas, that I hadn’t told Alex I was letting you go.” He looks up at him. “Do you think I don’t think the same thing?”

“You…you do?”

“Yeah. For a minute back then I thought you were going to say you’d dumped him and wanted me back but then your face changed and I knew, so I said what I did. It was for the best.”

“Was it?” He didn’t see how, he’d been miserable for most of the year, just getting by.

“Yeah, because you and me, like I told him, it was intense, but…”

“But…I don’t understand why you told him you were letting me go. Just the night before you made this scene in the pub, all it’s you and me Aaron, it always was and it always will be or whatever and then you just act like it’s nothing.”

“It was never nothing Aaron. It hurt more than anything saying what I did.”

“So why do it then?” He shouts into the night.

“Because I had to, because of the things I saw.”

“What?”

“When I was unconscious I kept dreaming, the same thing over and over, but not."

“I don’t understand. You dumped me because of a dream?”

“I didn’t dump you, we weren’t together.”

“Ok Mr pernickety. What did you dream about that you didn’t dump me over.”

"I don't want to talk about it."

“You brought it up.” Robert moves as if to leave. “Oi, you followed me out here to try and drag some kind of confession out of me and now you’re going to leave when I try and do the same?”

"I..." He blows on his hands, stalling for time. "It was like a nightmare, the same thing over and over. You know like Groundhog Day?” They’ve never spoken about this before but Aaron can still remember getting the call from Alex telling him Robert was hurt, that it was bad. He’d never been so scared.

“Eh?" He rolls his eyes.

"The film…with Bill Murray?" Aaron shakes his head. "Right, my new years resolution is introducing you to nineties movies."

"Alright Grandad."

"I'm serious!"

"Yeah, yeah...so what it was just the same dream?"

"Yeah. But each time it was a bit different…Lawrence, Rebecca, Lachlan all stopping me from getting to you. Then it changed...it was Christmas and then it wasn't. Everyone was in black and I didn't know why.” Suddenly he grabbed Aaron's hand. "It was your funeral and Val was there saying all this stuff like I was bad for you, that if I didn't let you go then it'd all be true."

"It was just a dream Robert...that's all. A weird one. but just a dream."

"But what if she’d been right? What if in the end I’d push you so far that…you’d already hurt yourself because of what I did.”

“Not just because of that, and I make my own choices Robert. Do you honestly think my life until then would’ve been better without you?”

"You obviously did, you said we couldn’t be together. What was I supposed to do, get down on my knees and beg you to take me back? Lose what tiny shred of dignity I had left. You made that decision Aaron, you were very clear about that.”

“When I came to the hospital I was so sick of everyone telling me what to do. I had Mum and Paddy all day going on about you nearly dying, almost like they were disappointed, and then Vic started lecturing me on how I should be sure and how I should be lucky I had someone at Christmas. Then I come to see you and before I can say anything you’re telling me you’d told Alex you were letting me go.”

“But…”

“I was just so angry Robert, and scared. I’d nearly lost you and it just felt like you didn’t want me, so I took the easy way out, didn’t want to fight, didn’t want to deal with all the stuff going on. So I stayed with Alex, thought it was for the best…and it was. Look at you Robert, you’ve got your life back on track. You’ve stopped that stupid revenge thing you had going on and sorted proper access to your son with Rebecca, you’re with Mike and he seems great.”

“He’s not you.”

“Maybe that’s the point.”

“It’s not. Are you happy? Honestly?” He opens his mouth, all ready to tell him the truth but he can’t, the words won’t come.

“Happy’s overrated. Maybe I don’t know what that is.”

“You did, with me, didn’t you?”

“But it ended.”

“Because of me.”

“Because of both of us. We both made mistakes. I took drugs, I pushed you away. It’s not all on you and I should never have said it was. Maybe it doesn’t matter, maybe it would always have ended. Maybe we were always meant to be just a short lived thing.”

“I don’t believe that.” He moves closer, crowding him against the bridge rail.

“So why are you with him? Why didn’t you fight for me? Tell me I was wrong.”

“Because sometimes you get tired of fighting.” He moves away then and Aaron feels cold. “It wasn’t easy being with you. I mean it was, when it was just us, but it never was. There was always something. Your Mum, Paddy, they hate me and maybe they’re right, but to have that constantly thrown at you is exhausting. Then there’s Liv. I love her Aaron you know I do but I always felt like I had to prove I liked her, that I had to fight for your attention. Maybe that’s why I did what I did, I don’t know. All I know is that some days it felt like I was so low on your list of priorities it wasn’t worth it any more.”

“I’m sorry.” He swipes away the tears that have started falling. “You never said anything.”

“I didn’t think I should have to. Aaron when all this was happening you’d just been through the worst thing in the world. I had to…no I wanted to be there for you. I wasn’t about to burden you with my petty worries. Then there was Holly, and the accident and…then Bex arrived and I just focussed on the money like I always do.”

“For the right reasons though, for Andy, for me and Liv.”

“Didn’t work though. Then I lost you, and I know it was my fault, whatever you say, I broke us.” Robert stares down at the water. “Last Christmas, on that road, if I’d known that car was coming, I don’t know if I would’ve cared.”

“Don’t say that.” He grabs his arm, holding on for dear life. “Robert…”

“I had nothing Aaron. I’d lost you, I’d lost my home, my son. What was the point?”

“Me. You always had me even if we weren’t together.” Robert shook his head. “You did and I’m sorry if you didn’t realise that. I would never have let you deal with it all alone but you always seemed ok, like you were enjoying getting them back.”

“I was at first, wanted them to pay, but then Seb was born and it didn’t feel right after that but I’d gone so far I couldn’t undo it. Then they found out and I lost him. Maybe my Dad was right, maybe I just mess up everything.”

“No. He was wrong Robert. That man didn’t know the first thing about you. Look what you’ve done for me. You found Liv, you saved my life, more than once…”

“I only did what needed doing. I wanted to give you so much Aaron, everything you deserved.”

“I only ever needed you to love me Robert, and you did. You loved me like no one else ever has and I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you like you have been for me.”

“We can’t change it now can we?” He looks up at him, wanting to ask, to see if there’s the slightest chance. He’s even leaning in for a kiss before he can stop himself.

“Here you are.” He steps back as he hears Mike approaching.

“Sorry. Just wanted some air.” Robert sniffs, trying not to let his boyfriend se he’s been crying.

“My fault, kept him talking. He’s all yours.”

“Aaron wait…”

“It’s alright, think we said everything, don’t you? Merry Christmas Robert. Hope the two of you have a good one.”

_____

It’s you and me, it always has been, it always will be

He doesn’t go back to the party, goes home instead, opens another beer, laying down on the sofa wondering just how much of an idiot he must be to even imagine that Robert might want to give them another chance. He was happy, it was Aaron who was miserable, who couldn’t move on when he’d had the chance to the year before. It was all him. How he was going to face him now he didn’t know.

He doesn’t know when he fell asleep but he’s woken by a banging on the front door. He stumbles to his feet, scrubbing at his eyes as he pulls the door open ready to shout at whoever it is at this time on Christmas Eve, when he sees Robert.

“You just ran.”

“You had Mike.”

“Aaron…” He looks around. “Can I come in?”

“Why Robert? We’ve been through everything.”

“No we haven’t. You’ve had your say but I haven’t had mine.” He stands back lets him inside shivering against the cold. “This time last year I’d just been hit by a car and it gave me a wake up call, a wake up call that I desperately needed.”

“Rob, I don’t…”

“Shut up a minute, will you.” He shuts his mouth, sinking on to the arm of the chair. “You’re so infuriating some times, always think you know what I’m going to say.”

“Sorry.”

“Stop apologising. You didn’t do anything wrong! Anyone with an ounce of sense wouldn’t give me a second chance and I’m on about my fiftieth with you. You were going to kiss me weren’t you, back on the bridge.”

“It was just…”

“I wish you had.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“What about Mike? You’re happy.”

“Yeah, we are. But he’s not you and he never will be. That’s why I told him it was over.”

“What?”

“That’s nearly as bad as the apologising. He already knew it wasn’t going anywhere. He knew before I did. But…you and me, I don’t know.”

“So why the hell are you here?”

“Because I want there to be you idiot! But it’s not just me anymore and I don’t want to do this and make a mistake. I can’t lose you again Aaron, I won’t survive it.”

“So we talk. We never talked Robert not really and that’s on both of us.”

“And you can deal with Seb, with Rebecca because she’s around Aaron, she has to be.”

“I know. I’ll handle it. You know I love him Robert, it was never about him. I want to know your son, to be around him as he grows up. And Rebecca, it won’t be easy but I’ll deal with it. I told you, it wasn’t on her. We broke us.”

“Your Mum will hate it.”

“I don’t know, she might surprise you. Anyway I don’t care. I never have, have I? If I’d got rid every time she told me all your bad points we wouldn’t be here now would we.” He sighs, “What about you? I’ve not been the best boyfriend have I? Some of the stuff I said, about you, your sexuality.”

“It’s done Aaron. It hurt but…you get it now yeah?” He nods. “Then it’s fine. Like you said we need to talk. I never really told you how much it hurt when you said that stuff, because deep down I thought that I deserved it, like my Dad said.”

“No Robert…no. You’re amazing and he was wrong, so so wrong. So was I, and I’ll be better. I haven’t supported you the way I should, with my family, with Liv, with anything. But I will. You’ve always been there for me, now it’s time for me to be there for you. If…if that’s what you want.”

“I…can we really do this? Have a life together?”

“Yeah, I think we can. This time we know the mistakes we’ve made so we don’t make them again. All we can do is give it our best shot. Til we’re eighty, remember?” Robert laughs and he gets up, pulling him to his feet. “I love you, that never changed, never went away.”

“I love you too. Can’t believe this.”

“Promise, you’re not dreaming.” He kisses him, holding on tight as if he’ll disappear if he doesn’t. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Aaron.”

[scrapyardboyfriends]

It feels like the producers decided that since they'd lost all of their other gay male characters and all they had left was Aaron, that they needed to do a story with him. They'd made him super unlikable during his return so they were like "romance story!" And they were like well, Robron was popular and the last time people were excited for an Aaron story and it got us lot of good buzz and headlines and we love nothing more than hype. So they tried to beg Ryan to come back and he said no. So they were like hmmm...

And then I feel like someone got the assignment to go and watch Robron affair era on youtube and report back what worked about it and they came back with...

It was a Sugden and a Dingle and we definitely used that a little for hype

They had their first kiss at a lay by that then became a thing for them

They had sort of an enemies to lovers kind of thing going on with sexual tension that involved wall slamming

They had barn sex and secret hook ups

So from that they were like...

Well as much as we begged, we couldn't get Ryan to come back and there are no other Sugdens so let's invent one. Let's make it Robert's long lost secret gay half brother. And we'll put the bare minimum of effort into making that work.

Lay by kisses are one thing but let's make it a full lay by hook up but maybe like...next to the robron lay by just so it's sort of different

Hmm enemies to lovers...well there's no real reason as of now for these two to hate each other so let's just contrive some nonsense and then make Aaron paranoid that this guy somehow knew about the Robert of it all and Aaron will go and shove him and new Sugden can punch him and then they can like stare at each other for half a second. That will definitely be sexual tension that's believable. Job done.

This one we can just straight up copy. We'll just have new guy work on the farm and for some reason we don't really need to worry too much about they'll have some kind of "passionate" hook up there.

I just fully expect them to at some point also have an actual hotel hook up and probably a hook up at the scrapyard in the portacabin. Maybe in the van at the garage so it's close but not actually in there.

It's just so silly because they've just put in zero work so far to make it believable that either one of them would be into this. If they don't even have some mind numbing heart to heart over Aiden Moore who in my head is still a boyfriend that died in the army, where Aaron only mentions Jackson and Liv and they bond over loss, then I really have no idea what it is they're trying to do.

It's just so frustrating because it's not that hard to give people proper motivations and actually let them have scenes together to build up a romance. Even if we don't like it for obvious reasons, I could at least respect it if there was effort. But there's none. At least not thus far.

[astudyinfreewill]

“it all comes down to the soul(s) in the end”: or, characters make the story work, and not the other way around

outing myself yet again as a dabb era critical blog here but. i just think the difference between carver era and dabb era is that carver era was character-arc driven while dabb era was overarching-main-plot driven with some good character moments thrown in (which may be to do with the fact that - iirc - during carver era for a while they didn’t know if they’d get renewed so they couldn’t plan too far ahead and just progressed the story by increments, as opposed to dabb era knowing they had a longer time frame to work with and deciding the plot beforehand). 

the thing is, i think most of us can agree that after the kripke era - which, for all its flaws and setbacks (hello writers’ strike), had a self-contained myth arc involving both an internally coherent narrative and certain well-defined character beats - and going into the gamble “hot girl summer but make it angst” era, the appeal of supernatural relies largely on the characters. it has to, because for a show to keep running after 6-7 seasons, you have to be invested not just in the story/stories being told, but in the people driving the story forward. it simply won’t work otherwise.

and - to my perception at least - the carver era (perhaps largely due to ben edlund’s imprint in s8, lbr) knew that. some examples of what i mean:

it gave dean an arc about dealing with the toxicity of his upbringing and his unhealthy attachment to sam, as well as starting to explore other meaningful relationships for himself (benny, charlie, and of course him continuously reaching out to cas) - essentially it allowed dean to confront that he wanted things. 

it gave sam an arc about dealing with his trauma re: demon blood, and having to confront what it means to be good, how he always felt impure through no fault of his own - and it shifted him over into accepting that his calling in life is as a keeper of lore and mentor to other people, by contrasting the failure of the sam/amelia relationship with him finding the bunker and discovering a different part of the hunting world

it forced cas to confront what he wants for himself, by making him deal with his own changing nature (being human, then an angel again, and the whole arc about living on borrowed grace), and with the other angels falling and what that meant for him; he got the chance to be on his own and be with the winchesters, to both make mistakes and be a leader to other angels - and then give up that leadership by choice because he prioritised his human family to his reputation in heaven (which should have been a clear indication of endgame human cas but i digress)

it brought in compelling new characters - primarily charlie and kevin, though they were both horrendously mistreated by bucklemming writing them off - claire novak as an angry teenager, aaron and his golem, metatron as a fascinatingly meta (ha) antagonist, rowena as a frenemy, and gave old characters compelling story beats (crowley and his “humanity addiction”). also, it had writers like robbie thompson who were attuned to the fan community in an unprecedented way.

with the dabb era, i feel like because they’d set their mind on where the story was going (e.g.: killing dean, having a new and “better” god in place, giving sam a white picket fence ending) they didn’t really care if they had to break the protagonists’ characterisation to get us there. we still had moments of great characterisation - steve yockey episodes first and foremost, and of course robert berens carrying the dean/castiel beats - but mostly, characterisation came second to what the story would need. this is how we get dean winchester, friend and protector to kids everywhere, being A-Okay with sacrificing a kid he supposedly cares about, not once but several times over, because the plot needed Emotional Stakes™️.

(and this, by and large, is my issue with jack as a character too, because he spends so much of his time on the show so clearly being a plot device - a literal deus ex machina - that he ends up being not very compelling to me. “but baby jack!” i hear you say. and yes, yes, he’s cute and i like him, but listen -- his characterisation reads as a blank slate because ultimately that’s what the narrative needs from him - and there’s a whole separate post i could make on that, really). 

but i think the main problem is that the endgame the dabb era had in mind conflicted openly with the stakes they had set up in the carver era - and that the most attuned writers kept up with even in seasons 12-15, which is why the finale felt as stridently wrong as it did (other than being ridiculously badly written). by which i mean:

dean was set up as wanting something more for himself, more than hunting and violence, and we see that in moments - but it’s not what he ends up getting. additionally, he spends so much of seasons 8-10 breaking down his toxic traits, and then bam - suddenly, he’s turned into john 2.0, because the story demands it. 

sam was set up to become a new kind of hunter, one with a men of letters background, and find happiness in the life - so you get a side plot where he successfully organises and leads a group of hunters - but ultimately he leaves all that behind and abandons the bunker (and eileen, his natural companion going forward). 

cas was set up as choosing humanity over heaven because that’s where he wants to be, and choosing to become a hunter because he wants to be useful and do good - but that gets boiled down to “cas is still an angel but now he’s Also A Dad and that’s his one purpose in life now” (i’m sorry, i am not here for the hot take of “jack is good for cas because he can’t just revolve around dean”. first of all, that’s a disservice to cas’s character over the seasons, and second of all-- oh but it’s ok for cas to just revolve around jack? it don’t make no cents luv!)

i don’t think story-driven eras are inherently bad. i enjoyed seasons 1-5, but they take place when we’re still getting to know the characters; and there is a certain evolution for them there that you may like or dislike, but it makes narrative sense for them. but if you decide to go forward into a new era with well-established and beloved characters, you have to know who the characters are and what they want or your story will always ring hollow. the main problem i have with the dabb era is that it decided the story it wanted to tell - and didn’t stop to consider whether the characters living it out would actually organically fit into it. and isn’t that chuck’s whole mistake?

[scuttling]

Newbie

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairing: Aaron Hotchner/Latina OFC Sophie Cortes Word Count: 3,786 Tags: SFW, Pre-relationship, Self-confidence issues, Canon-typical violence Summary: On Sophie’s first day at the BAU, she gets nervous. On Sophie’s second day at the BAU, they get a case. Collection: Sophie Cortes timeline, 0-6 Months at the BAU (See Masterlist for reading order) Link to A03 or read below! On Sophie’s first day at the BAU, she’s a little bit nervous—change your outfit three times, run your Keurig with no cup underneath, hair up? hair down? hair up? nervous—so she takes a deep, steadying breath before pushing open the glass double doors that lead to the bullpen.

She took cues about attire from other people she saw the day of her interview, so today she is wearing a simple black and white dress with pumps and gold jewelry, and she feels she fits in, but she gets more than a few curious looks when she enters.

Her instructions are to report to Agent Hotchner’s office first thing, but she is stopped on her way there by a tall, handsome, impeccably dressed man with a frankly gorgeous smile. He’s Black, with a shaved head and a great voice, and suddenly she doesn’t mind the interference.

“Hi, I’m Derek Morgan. You’re Sophia Cortes, right? Hotch mentioned you were starting today.” She smiles warmly.

“Yes, pleasure to meet you. You can call me Sophie,” she says, reaching out a hand for a shake. “Agent Hotchner told me you’re from Chicago, and so am I. Please say you aren’t a White Sox fan.” His smile becomes even brighter, if possible. She might be halfway in love with him already.

“God, no. If you want to watch good baseball, it’s the Cubs all the way.” She laughs lightly, happy to have a little rapport with a new colleague so soon.

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“I’m glad there’s a little more color in the office now,” he jokes, and she understands where he’s coming from completely. It’s bad enough to be the only woman in the room, sometimes, but when she’s also the only person of color, she feels… inadequate, somehow. Like she has to work twice as hard to be seen, even though she literally stands out among her peers.

A blonde woman with a fair complexion and pretty, almost doll-like facial features steps up behind him, and he looks over, introduces her.

“Sophie Cortes, this is Jennifer Jareau, our Communications Director.”

“Everyone calls me JJ,” she says with a smile and a handshake.

“Nice to meet you. If you’re the Communications Director, you’ve got the toughest job in the unit, then.” JJ looks surprised, then nods her head.

“Absolutely, but don’t tell them that. They’d never believe you,” she says with a playful shove of Derek’s shoulder. “Don’t let being a profiler go to your head like this guy.”

“Who, me? I’m as down to earth as the next devastatingly handsome guy.”

“Yeah, right,” a voice says from her right, and Sophie turns to see a woman approaching them with pale skin and dark hair, bangs, a kind smile. “We love you and all, but you’re a little cocky.”

“Is it being cocky when I’m that good, though?” he asks with a wink, and Sophie already feels more at ease just hearing them talk with each other. She can get acclimated to anything when the environment is right. “This is my partner, Emily Prentiss. Prentiss, this is Sophie Cortes. The new newbie.” She sets down her bag, heads over to shake hands.

“Nice to meet you, Sophie. Love the dress.” Sophie thanks her for the compliment. “I appreciate you taking the newbie title from me; fair warning, you’ll probably be here for five years before they stop calling you that.”

“Ah, I’ve been called worse, I’ll take it.” She glances around their workspace, looks up to Derek. “Is my partner here? Dr. Reid, right?”

“Oh, he texted, said his train is running late,” JJ explains. “He’s really excited to meet you, though, so don’t mind if he’s a little… overwhelming, when he does get here.”

“You’ll fall in love with the kid, everyone does,” Derek explains, and it makes her heart feel warm. This is definitely a team she wants to be a part of. “But he can be intense.”

“I appreciate the heads up.” Before she can say any more, Agent Hotchner descends the stairs, heads toward them.

“Good morning. I can see the team has taken the liberty of introducing themselves.”

“Hello again, Agent Hotchner.” Sophie shakes his hand, and he smiles softly.

“Hotch, please. You can put your things in that desk and I’ll give you a tour, if you’d like.”

“Sure, sounds great.” The team shares a brief look, but she doesn’t know them well enough to comment, just stows her belongings and follows the unit chief. “The team was very welcoming. They seem really tight knit,” she comments as they leave the bullpen, and he looks at her, nods.

“When you spend as much time together as we do, traveling as we do, it’s inevitable. Was it not that way in Intelligence?”

“You couldn’t get those people to sit down to dinner together, let alone tease one another. They’d probably bite each other’s heads off.” They worked well together, but in private the environment could be pretty toxic. She knows Unit Chief Roberts wouldn’t have put up with it if the team didn’t get such good results.

“I can see how this environment might seem a little strange, then,” he says, opening the door for her. They take the elevator.

“Strange, but good. It reminds me of when I was a cop, and I’ve missed that kind of camaraderie.”

“Well I’m glad you felt welcomed. We really are happy to have you.” They approach a closed door which he raps on lightly; the woman who answers has a bright smile and an even brighter outfit, lime green and navy blue, with matching accessories, including green glasses. She makes Sophie feel very… plain.

“Oh, hi!” the woman says, and her grin gets bigger. “Wow, you’re beautiful.” Sophie laughs, a little taken aback, and Hotch sighs lightly like he’s used to the odd behavior. It’s all very endearing.

“This is Penelope Garcia, our technical analyst. Garcia, this is Sophia Cortes, our new profiler.” She reaches out a hand.

“It’s nice to meet you. You can call me Sophie, or Cortes, whichever you prefer. And you’re beautiful, too. I love your style.”

“Thank you; I can tell we’re going to be fast friends. You’ll have me on speed dial,” she says, walking to her desk and jotting something down on a pink Post-It. “If you need something researched, narrowed down, blown up, compared, etc, I’m your girl.” She hands her the note—her direct line—and smiles. “I’m sure you have much more to see, but don’t be a stranger!”

Something tells Sophie she won’t be.

He shows her all around the office—copiers, the breakroom, supply closets, restrooms—and they end up in the briefing room, the last two to walk in.

“You remember Gideon,” Hotch says, and the man nods a greeting. Still as personable as ever, she thinks. “And this is your partner, Dr. Spencer Reid.” She’s not surprised by his age—she read some articles about him once she had his name, knows they call him ‘boy genius’ quite literally—but she is a little thrown by his nervous smile, his dark eyes, his untidy flop of brown hair. Derek wasn’t kidding when he called him kid; he looks like he belongs at an after school chess club meeting, or something.

He’s adorable. Like a puppy. She immediately wants to keep him. She smiles wide.

“Sophia Cortes, but you can call me Sophie, if you like.” He stands, and they shake hands. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’ve heard all about you.”

“It’s nice to meet you, too. I hear you’re from Chicago. Did you know Chicago is home to 2,716,450 residents living in over 100 neighborhoods?” She smiles wider.

“Yeah, with 600 parks, 500 playgrounds, 29 beaches, and 26 miles of open lakefront. It’s beautiful. Have you been?”

“We worked a case there, once. I didn’t get to see any parks or beaches.” He makes a frowning kind of face and she laughs softly, takes the seat Hotch offers her.

“Well you’re young, there’s time.”

“Now that we’re all caught up on introductions, we can get started,” Hotch states, and Sophie’s first morning meeting begins.

It’s a little boring, as far as first days go, but she doesn’t mind. She has access to her computer, gets it set up the way she wants, finds out from the team where all the best places are nearby for coffee or drinks or lunch. She meets with the section chief for introductions, goes over some policies with Hotch—who, she was right, is definitely funnier and more thoughtful than he must let on. He probably feels like he has to act a certain way, because he’s the boss, but she likes pulling the human out of him, makes it a personal mission going forward to make him smile.

He’s too handsome not to smile. On Sophie’s second day at the BAU, they get a case.

“I usually like to let new profilers get acclimated to the team before going into the field,” Hotch tells her as they board the plane, “but it didn’t make sense to keep you in Quantico. Are you sure you’re up for it?”

“Of course. That’s why I’m here, I want to help.” She stows her bag overhead. “I’ll observe, give my input when I have it, follow everyone’s lead.”

“Sounds good. You know you can come to any of us if you have questions.”

“I know. Thank you.”

They do a deeper debrief on the plane—three women have been murdered, all in their mid 30’s, athletic and blonde, last seen dropping their children off at school—and Sophie is tasked with going to the most recent crime scene with Hotch and Prentiss.

“What can you tell about him so far?” Hotch asks her while the detective on the case speaks with Prentiss about some details of the scene. She glances around the room, takes it all in.

“Well, there’s blood everywhere. Serious overkill each time. He either knew the victims, or has a deep-seated hatred for a woman they remind him of; my money is on is the latter.” She looks through the kitchen, at the bloody footprints that lead to the back door. “Tracked blood all through the house, left the back door open. He’s disorganized. He may have seen them at the school and planned to follow them home, but he didn’t do any pre-surveillance on them. Something about these women triggers him and he acts within the hour.”

“Would you call it a crime of passion, then?” She looks over, curious, then realizes he’s testing her.

“No. A crime of passion indicates some level of culpability by the victim. Provocation. These women are just in the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong face.” He nods, satisfied with her answer.

“So how do we think he’s finding the victims?”

“He could have a child under his care who goes to that school, or he could live near the school, work there. He could work the night shift somewhere else and pass the school on his way home. I think it’s too early to narrow that down.”

“Any idea what weapon he used?”

“We would have to really examine the cast off to be certain, but my guess would be… a hammer, or some other small, blunt tool. This wasn’t done by a baseball bat or a shovel or something larger. We can also get an estimated height and weight of the unsub if we chart the area void of blood here,” she adds, pointing to a bare spot on the wall with blood droplets above and around it. “I’m guessing we’ll send the photos to Garcia for analysis.”

“That’s right. I agree with your assessment,” he begins, but she senses hesitation.

“But?” He looks over at her, thoughtful.

“We’re missing something.”

“We are, or I am?” she asks for clarification, and he smiles just slightly.

“We are.” She takes that as a good sign, walks another loop around the room for something they would have overlooked, and she brightens when she thinks she’s discovered it.

“Her purse is still here, cash, credit cards. Her jewelry was still on her body when she was found. But does it look to you like something’s missing from the entryway table?” She points to it, and it’s very ordinary: a calendar, a bowl for change, hooks for keys, a couple of photographs—with a notable blank space in the middle. “Maybe a photo?”

“We should ask the husband if he knows what was there. Good work,” he tells her, and he heads off in the direction of the husband; she follows close behind.

Back at the precinct, the team fills each other in on what they’ve learned.

“So our unsub killed each of these women with a ball-peen hammer, striking 8-10 times. Blood spatter analysis puts him at about 5’11”, 6’0” tall, around 275 pounds. The photo taken from the third victim’s house was of the victim and her 7-year-old son Josh; similar photos were taken from the other two homes—photos of mother and son.” Prentiss tacks copies of the three missing photos to the board.

“Sounds like maybe the woman they remind him of is his mother,” Reid states.

“That’s what we’re going with. We’re still not sure how he finds his victims, though,” Prentiss mentions, and Sophie takes a breath, hesitates.

“Do you have something?” Morgan asks and she shrugs, unsure.

“Maybe? One of the theories we threw out there was that he works overnight and drives past the school on his way home from work, when the kids are being dropped off. If he killed them with a ball-peen hammer, maybe we should look for machine shops in the area with overnight shifts? Those are typically used in metalworking, not construction.” She feels like all eyes are on her, and it makes her nervous. “That could be completely irrelevant, it’s just a thought.”

“It’s a good thought; I’ll have Garcia pull us a list, we can split up and pass around the description, see if our guy is a metal worker. Good call, newbie.” Morgan leaves to take the call, and JJ leans over with a smile.

“Don’t second guess yourself. You’re doing great so far. Theories are important, even if they’re wrong.” Sophie returns the expression, nods.

“Thanks. I’ve just gotta get used to the collaborative environment; haven’t been in one of those in a while.”

“You’d never know it. You’re fitting right in.” She takes it as a compliment, is happy to be of some use to the investigation and not just getting in the way.

The rest of the day is pretty quiet; they test out a few other possible theories, deliver the profile to the late shift, plan to hit the school early in the morning to look for potential suspects and to pass around the description to see if anyone meets it who works there, or lives nearby.

She goes to the school with Reid and JJ, speaks to teachers, janitorial staff, but none of them know a man like the one they’re looking for. She meets up with the others, who were speaking to parents, after about an hour of questioning, but they also come up blank.

“We’ve still got your machine shop theory,” Reid says as they drive back to the precinct. “The others should be done with those soon, so there’s still a chance we can find this guy today.” JJ’s phone rings, and she answers on the car bluetooth.

“JJ, there’s been another attack,” Prentiss says. “1419 5th Street—you guys are closer. Can you head over?”

“We’re on the way,” JJ answers, turning right, and Reid looks thoughtful.

“An attack? She’s not dead?”

“No. Not yet, at least. She’s being rushed to the hospital; her husband was home, caught the attacker in the middle of it all.”

“Did he get a good look at the unsub?” JJ asks.

“He’s with a sketch artist now. Hotch wants you to circulate the sketch ASAP; we think we may have a hit at one of the metal shops, if you can send it to me, too.”

“You got it.” She ends the call, looks at Sophie through the rearview mirror. “Drinks are on you tonight, newbie,” she says playfully, and Sophie can’t help but laugh. She had been so intimidated by the thought of joining the BAU, and she’s glad to see she’s useful, can actually help make a difference. It’s a feeling she won’t forget for a while.

Later that night, when they plan to try to catch the unsub before he leaves for work, she deflates, a little.

Hotch, Morgan, Prentiss, and Reid are going to breach the unsub’s house while JJ covers the front door and Sophie covers the back. She had assumed she would get to be part of the team going in, with her tactical background, and immediately thinks the worst, that they’re happy to have her brain, but that her body is a hindrance. Too short, too weak… it’s how she’s been treated her whole life, and she hates to think that she’s being dismissed here so soon for the same reasons. She tries not to let it show, but she dwells on it, a little, lets it get her down even though she knows she shouldn’t.

She snaps out of it when there’s movement on the back porch, a hulking, shadowy figure in the darkness.

“I’ve got him coming out of the back,” she whispers into her comms, and she draws her gun and points it at the unsub. “Stop, FBI!” The guy turns to face her—he fits the sketch to a tee, a real mountain of a man as the blood spatter analysis suggested—takes one good look, and goes running in the other direction.

Alright, so, he’s clearly not impressed. She can work with that.

“He’s running, I’m in pursuit.” She holsters her weapon and her boots pound the grass as she books it his way. The good thing about being so much smaller than him is that she’s much faster, catches up to him fairly easily, and again, she shouts for him to stop, which, of course, he doesn’t.

Her first thought is that she’s got to get this guy on the ground no matter what—this isn’t a shoplifter or something, he’s wanted for murdering three women and attempting to murder a fourth, so a little force is okay if necessary, and judging by his build, it’s going to be necessary.

Her second thought is, if I can’t catch him, I don’t deserve to be here. And that’s the one that makes the decision for her.

She leaps onto his back, grabs fistfuls of his shirt, and shakes him forward, backward, forward again, trying to throw off his balance. When he starts to wobble, she slides down his back, hooking a leg around one of his and driving her knee into the bend of his; he goes down, face first, and she reaches behind her for her cuffs, slaps them on his wrists before he has a chance to turn or stand. “Jason Farber, you’re under arrest for three counts of murder and one count of attempted murder.”

“Attempted murder?” he asks, turning his face so he can speak more easily. He seems pretty calm for a runner, maybe just resigned to his fate, and she leans over so she can see him better. He’s breathing fine, uninjured, and just looks pissed. “You mean that overbearing bitch isn’t dead?”

“Yep, sorry to be the one to tell you, Jason, but she’s alive and kicking.” She continues to read him his rights, and is just pulling him to his feet when Morgan and Hotch skid to a stop behind her; if they look surprised… who is she kidding? They look surprised as fuck.

“Damn, Cortes. This guy’s like three of you,” Morgan marvels as she walks him back toward the cars so he can be tossed into the back of a black and white. “Did you make him an offer he couldn’t refuse?” She scoffs at that, and even the unsub snorts in amusement.

“She tackled me. Wasn’t counting on that.”

“I don’t think anybody was,” she admits, getting him into a cop car and shutting the door. She joins the rest of the team, gets a high-five from JJ.

“Hey, score one for the ladies. We never get to do any tackling.”

“She did better than I would have,” Reid admits without shame, and she laughs.

“It’s all in the legs. I lift chains at the gym.” He gives her a look like he’s got no idea what she’s talking about, which almost makes her laugh again. “You do pull-ups, but with chains around your legs.” She demonstrates, squatting and gesturing to her legs like she’s wrapping something around them.

“Okay, you’re the real deal, newbie,” Morgan says when she stands up fully. “Remind me not to run from you unless I want a face full of dirt.” The group breaks apart after that, but Hotch lingers, gives her a meaningful look when she makes eye contact.

“I bet that felt good.” She leans against the side of the SUV, feels a deep conversation coming on.

“It did. I’m stronger than I look, and sometimes it’s fun to be underestimated, but other times it gets really annoying.”

“I can imagine,” he says, nodding, and he mimics her posture. “I just want to make sure you know you don’t have anything to prove. I hired you for a reason.”

“I know. But I don’t like being a one-trick pony, and I’m definitely not waiting around for one of you guys when an unsub is on the move.”

“And I wouldn't expect you to. As for the ‘one-trick pony’ thing, that’s not how I see you at all. You’re extremely well-rounded, and that’s why I wanted you.” His eyes are kind, but penetrating, and she dips her head, nods.

“And that’s why I don’t want to disappoint you.”

“After what you’ve shown me the last two days, I don’t think that’s possible, but I want you to know you can come to me when something’s bothering you. That’s why I’m here.”

“I know. I won’t forget it,” she assures, and he stands fully, cocks an eyebrow in her direction.

“I heard drinks are on you tonight,” he says with a straight face, and she laughs lightly.

“I guess we better get going before they run up the tab, then.”

They walk in companionable silence back to the SUV.

[pub-lius]

A Debunking and, in my Humble Opinion, Superior Version of Weird History’s “Hardcore Facts About Alexander Hamilton”

I haven’t updated my blog in quite some time, and that is due to my schedule being primarily dominated by school. So, I decided my first step into posting semi-regularly once more shall be a more casual, more fun endeavor. 

If you have not heard of the Weird History youtube channel, good for you. It is yet another social media platform that misconstrues history to appeal to the public’s enjoyment of extremes and strangeness. I saw The Historical Fashion Queens make a video responding to their highly misinformed documentary on corsetry on Miss Abby Cox’s youtube channel, which I highly recommend. This intrigued me, and I decided to find a video I could dissect off my expertise, at first only for fun in my own time. This resulted in the production in a very long bullet list in the notes app of my phone. So here is my informal destruction of this godforsaken video.

Disclaimer: I am not at all excusing any of the awful things Alexander Hamilton did during his lifetime. I am absolutely the last person who would even come near to claiming that many of the things he did were justifiable in the slightest. Although, he might be the only historical figure which I have a very strong interest in the life of, as he was incredibly complex, and the part of me with a love of psychology finds him absolutely fascinating. There is also something to be said about the way we consider moral standards of historical figures. We are quite lucky to believe in the time that we do, and not all of our standards can apply to historical figures. This does not mean they should not be held accountable. I find that a way to criticize people while also praising them where it is due is by judging them based upon their intentions. In my opinion, Hamilton’s intentions were not to harm anyone in most situations, so I don’t think he was a terrible person, nor do I think he was a particularly good one. Then again, I don’t think either of those things about a mass majority of people, so let us proceed without further delay. (Note: I will also be referring to the collective Weird History channel as the Narrator to avoid any mental gymnastics, and all of my knowledge is coming from my memory of Hamilton’s writing and some biographies.)

Automatically, the video starts with mention of the musical, but that just reminds me that many use Ron Chernow’s biography of Hamilton as a basis of their statements about him without utilizing much critical thinking, so I am slightly nervous. 

The Narrator then refers to Hammy Ham man as “...one of America’s most undervalued founding fathers...” Now, it is debatable whether or not Mr. Hamilton is undervalued per se, but when it comes to the founding fathers, they are usually undervalued or overvalued. At this point, Hamilton is both.

I shall not subscribe, thank you for the offer though, Mr. Narrator.

Now for the first fact: “Historians don’t know when Hamilton was born.” Yes, this is correct, but I don’t believe this should be labeled as “hardcore”, but perhaps that is just me. One early document indicates that Hamilton was born in 1755, while all later ones point to 1757 as his year of birth. We know Hamilton was not always a completely honest man, so it is possible that he lied.

Also, they show an image of a baby, and I do not know if this is actually Hamilton, but they use a lot of strange imagery, which I found humorous.

“A self-made man born out of wedlock.” Now, this fact could indeed be “hardcore”, if this was not colonial America we are discussing. Hamilton actually wasn’t really special in this regard. Yes, his rise to fame was impressive considering his circumstances, but this wasn’t unheard of.

The Narrator then says that Hamilton’s mother, Rachel Faucette, was “estranged from her husband.” This caused me some confusion as it is a vast understatement. Her ex-husband was absolutely awful to her. 

Additionally, they claim that James Hamilton left his family behind for some reason that I did not write in my notes, but the most likely reason that he actually left was because of his awesome debt. James Hamilton also had a history of ambitious pursuits for money, so it would not be extreme to claim that he moved to another island to attempt to make a fortune in some trading endeavor.

They also cease to mention the Stevens family, who housed young Alexander while he was working for Beekman and Cruger, and had a great influence on him, but I digress.

“A college dropout who joined the Revolution.” Once again, this isn’t special. Many rowdy young Whigs left behind their careers and educations for pursuit of military fame in the Continental Army. They also do not mention anything of Hamilton’s expansive military career, which aside from being indicative of primitive research, but would produce more “hardcore facts.”

Although, they do discuss his application to Princeton college, which is interesting enough I suppose, although everyone who has heard the first two songs of the musical knows this story. His proposal for an “accelerated course of study” was likely inspired by Aaron Burr, as claimed by Chernow and Miranda, or James Madison, as supported by evidence provided by author Noah Feldman in his novel, The Three Lives of James Madison, which is an excellent read. Young Madison, having already completed a course, decided to do so again, but compacting a usually three year course into a shorter period of time. He hardly slept during this period, which was stressful upon his health, making Princeton more disinclined to allow a similar course to be taken.

The Narrator then claims that Hamilton “formed his own militia of 25 men.” Technically, yes? But not exactly. Hamilton joined a paramilitary group called the Hearts of Oak, and they drilled in Trinity Churchyard. This became ironic later. He then became a captain in the New York Artillery Company, and enlisted his own men, which was at one time around thirty or so, if my memory serves me correctly.

“Founded a bank that existed for over two centuries.” Ah, yes, a very hardcore fact indeed. Yes, Hamilton did establish the Bank of America, but Robert Morris was the one who inspired him to do so. Though, I do think the financial plan is a product of his own genius, but I will get into that much later.

I got an ad. :(

The Narrator also says that the misfortunes done to the New York shipping industry by the Articles of Confederation were the most prominent, if not sole, motivation for Hamilton to concoct his financial plan. He first recognized the need for a sound financial plan when he was in the army. You know, when he was watching men die of inadequate supplies because the government couldn’t tax the states.

This video, like Chernow’s biography and Miranda’s musical, claims that Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr were friends when, in actuality, they weren’t really. Yes, they knew each other, and they didn’t hate each other until the end of Hamilton’s life, but they really didn’t think about each other much before the Election of 1800.

“Hamilton authored over half of the Federalist Papers.” Indeed, he did! I enjoy this fact. It isn’t very “hardcore” but it is very impressive. The Federalist Papers were arguably Hamilton’s greatest accomplishment, as he organized the entire thing and, as previously stated, authored much of them. I very much enjoy the Federalist Papers, as they give some insight as to Hamilton’s political and philosophical theories, as well as how he thought of the world. It makes for an interesting read if you have something you’re looking for.

Now, this may be a hot take, but Madison’s essays are by far more effective, as they were better organized. Hamilton and I share a common flaw, and that is the lack of brevity. 

“Involved in America’s first sex scandal.” Yes, we all know. I’ll get into the Reynold’s affair later because it’s its own beast to conquer. Basically what you need to understand information I shall provide later in this post is that James Reynolds extorted money from Hamilton, and if Hamilton failed to pay, Reynolds would expose the affair Hamilton was having with his wife, Maria. Hamilton paid, but when Reynolds was arrested for something else, he exposed Hamilton anyway.

“He worked with Aaron Burr to defend a man.” Once again, this isn’t very surprising. They were both capable lawyers in the same area, so it was basically inevitable. Though there was this one instance where Hamilton and Burr were working on a case together and Hamilton, being himself, insisted upon having the last word. Well, Burr was tired of him, and I can’t say I blame him, so he made every possible argument in his finishing speech, leaving Hamilton with virtually nothing. 

The Narrator also mentions Hamilton’s opposition to slavery, but he didn’t really outwardly oppose it as much as you would think listening to the musical or reading Chernow’s biography. Far from being the “fervent abolitionist” Chernow and Miranda glorify, Hamilton didn’t really do much for the enslaved. He helped John Laurens in his Black Plan and joined the Manumission Society, but other than that, he never made any attempt to progress the abolition of slavery. He also “purchased” slaves for his in-laws, and some argue that he “owned” some himself, but there is no contemporary evidence to support this that I have seen. The enslaved and servants that were in his household likely belonged to his wife.

“Founded a newspaper that still exists.” Ok.

“Died by duel.” I swear, this fact is by far the most unnecessary. They mention the duel so many times that it is already redundant. I completely skipped over this part, and the video ended, so I was thoroughly underwhelmed.

Well, seeing as this post is already longer than my attention span, I shall save you the pains of having to read any more in just one post. I shall make a follow-up to this where I give my own facts, which I believe are far more hardcore than “he founded a newspaper.” I hope you have enjoyed and this isn’t too terribly boring. I hope to get back to posting soon.

[missmis]

I’ve been having a lot of heated debates recently over which actors are the best in certain roles, so I thought long and hard about my ideal Les Mis cast.

For some roles, I have several actors (mainly Enjolras, because every guy who’s ever played him seems to be gorgeous). For some roles, there is only one person who just IS that character to me.

Now without further ado, here we go:

Jean Valjean: Alfie Boe, always. He perfectly conveys Valjean’s transition from angry convict to noble and almost saintly, plus his voice still gives me chills every time. I could write an entire post exclusively on the sheer perfection of his high note at the end of “Bring Him Home”, but that is a subject for another day. Honourable mention: John Owen-Jones because his voice is incredible, too-but he overdoes it on the anger sometimes.

Javert: ooh, that’s a tough one. I’d say it’s probably a tie between Earl Carpenter (who has the warmest and most powerful baritone ever) and Norm Lewis, who does the cold-hearted arrogance perfectly. Honourable mention: Richard Woodford, who used to be Grantaire and Javert’s understudy ages ago. Most people probably won’t know him, but he is honestly amazing- and a lovely guy.

Fantine: Carrie Hope Fletcher. Her voice can be powerful or soft as needed and she really captures Fantine’s pain. Honourable mention: Lea Salonga, whose voice is also gorgeous, but whose acting I find a little exaggerated sometimes.

Éponine: Samantha Barks will always be the one true Éponine for me. Her voice is incredible, she looks right (because in my head, Éponine is always dark-haired) and she portrays the whole unrequited love thing to perfection. And yes, I may possibly have a tiny crush on her... Or a big one.

Cosette: Honestly, Cosette always annoyed the heck out of me until I discovered Lily Kerhoas. She’s completely lovestruck-as the character should be- but she manages to turn Cosette into an actual person and not just a one-dimensional teenager who was put in to make all the guys look better. And that is honestly a huge accomplishment. Honourable mention: Amanda Seyfried, although her incredibly high soprano is a bit too much for my ears.

Marius: I loved Eddie Redmayne’s portrayal in the film version. His general adorable shyness steals my heart every time. I also love Rob Houchen, who has a gorgeous voice and who captures the innocence of the character. And Gareth Gates does hands down the best version of “A Little Fall of Rain” I’ve ever seen, because he actually seems to care that Éponine just died, unlike many other actors who’ve played this role.

Enjolras: As I said, there are so many amazing people who have played him. But if I had to choose one, it’d probably be Bradley Jaden (and no, I’m not just saying that because his man bun is a blessing to this fandom). I love his passion and the sheer power he brings to the character. Aaron Tveit is also up there with my favourites-he may not be the greatest singer, but he looks exactly like Book Enjolras and he gets that coldness and indifference-especially towards poor Grantaire- just right. Then there’s Killian Donnelly whose Irish accent I absolutely adore. Oh and lastly, Ramin Karimloo, of course-he may not look like your classical Enjolras, but the light of rebellion is ablaze in his eyes :)

Monsieur Thénardier: the one and only, the inimitable Matt Lucas. He is simply hilarious, which is actually kind of an ethical issue, because he almost makes me like Monsieur T. And every time someone says “Cosette”, I now hear “Courgette” in my head, which is entirely his fault.

Madame Thénardier: Katy Secombe. She’s mean, she’s funny, she’s brash, her facial expressions are everything and her voice can knock you off your feet. Especially great in combination with Matt Lucas. Honestly, I’d pay to see these two do stand-up comedy together.

Gavroche: Also a tough one. My favourite is probably Daniel Huttlestone in the film, just because he’s so adorable I want to adopt him. I also love Robert Madge’s mischievous and cocky Gavroche in the 25th and recently, Logan Clark, whose antics give me life.

Grantaire: He’s my favourite character, so I’m kind of picky about who plays him. Only two guys have found mercy before my eyes. One: George Blagden, whose pining for Enjolras was the only thing that kept me watching the film. I will never stop being pissed that they cut his solo in “Drink With Me”. Two: Keith Anthony Higham. He has the richest voice ever and he just gets Grantaire-the cynicism, the drama and the unrequited love thing. If you haven’t already, watch his 2008 version of “Drink With Me” with David Thaxton. Thank me later.

Courfeyrac: Fra Fee- I love his passion and his friendship with Gavroche in the film. Plus, he has a beautiful voice. Also the guy from the 2019 staged concert- I believe his name is Michael Sheehy, but I could be wrong. He is honestly hilarious.

Combeferre: Killian Donnelly. He gets the whole slightly-exasperated-by-all-of-these-irresponsible-idiots professorial vibe. And he has a very powerful voice.

Feuilly: Matthew Gent because of his lovely soft singing and his funny-as-hell facial expressions.

Joly: Jamie Muscato, who is just such an adorable goofball.

Bossuet/Lesgles/Laigle/the dude with a hundred different names: I don’t know the guy’s name, but he’s in the 25th. Firstly, because he’s actually bald and thus, about ten times more accurate than most other portrayals and secondly, because his voice is warm and soft and it’s actually a shame he hasn’t got more lines to sing.

Bahorel: Again, the dude from the movie- Iwan Lewis, I think he’s called. Just the right amount of recklessness.

Jehan Prouvaire: I haven’t really found anyone I like in this role yet. I’m not that big a fan of Alistair Brammer for some reason, so if someone could help me out here, I’d be grateful.

The Bishop: Also Earl Carpenter, because his voice is-for lack of a better description-like a nice, warm blanket. And I like Colm Wilkinson in this role, too.

I hope I haven’t missed any characters. If I have, please do point them out to me. I hope you’ve enjoyed my analysis- I tried to make it about more than just “Oh, I like this person because they’re hot”. Feel free to share your own opinions and remember: these are just my subjective ones.

[castielmoriarty]

I hope ur right it just they make it seem Ben seemed more important than Robert even had him choose him over Robert and choose Ben over his own sister etc

sure, he did choose Ben over Rob, but; one of the big issues with soaps is that because they run forever, and actors come and go, sometimes people will act very out of character in the context of someone else's exit. Aaron 'had' to choose not to get back into contact with Rob, because Rob wasn't coming back to the show. Vic and Rob's relationship can play out off screen, but Robron's can't, it's too deep and significant in Aaron's life for that. it wouldn't work to have Aaron casually say "I talked to Rob on the phone" and not actually show us any of it. they chose to have the whole Robert-baiting drama around Luke even when it would force Aaron to act out of character, prioritized drama over having him act in a characteristic way, but let's face it, with how bad the writing has been for a long time now, who was surprised. but that aside; Rob is still in prison, and even if Aaron had started talking to him again, it would have likely just been phone calls. it's not as simple as him "choosing Ben over Rob"; he chose a person who is there and present and available, over phone calls with the love of his life. if Rob had been back in the village, we all know there would be no competition. Aaron was going to leave his whole family - mom, stepdad, sister, uncle, cousins, friends - forever, for Rob, without hesitation. didn't even consider it, there was no alternative. if Rob was back or had escaped and asked Aaron to come with him on the run... we all know he'd go.

also, Aaron is someone who craves affection and physical closeness, including sex, and at that point Ben can give all of that to him while Rob obviously can't. it's phone calls vs. everything a relationship entails. Ben is a substitute and a placeholder for what Aaron really wants. then there's also Chas, who is infuriating in her inability to even let Aaron breathe without having an opinion as per usual, and who meddles and tries to convince him not to choose Rob. that definitely affects his choice as well. but if I'm being honest, she's not entirely wrong. choosing Rob at that point would mean being alone and waiting for phone calls a few times a week. and yet he would have made that choice if not talked out of it. I don't know how anyone could watch Robron's and Bearon's stories play out and doubt even for a second that if Rob was there, Aaron would choose him every time over any other person. concerning Liv, well. in that case I think it makes even more sense for Aaron to choose Ben tbh. his and Liv's relationship has been fucked up from the start. remember how creepily jealous she was of Rob right away, even before she and Aaron properly knew each other. they have continued to be co-dependent af and overly wrapped up in each other ever since - esp. Liv's way of relating to Aaron is just not healthy. you shouldn't be jealous of your brother's partners, period. and she continues relapsing, despite Aaron's support. they've had so much time to fix their relationship, of changing it and making it healthier, and they haven't managed. distancing himself from her is the right choice imo. he's tried to support her and be there for her for years and it hasn't worked. he isn't going to be able to help her stay sober as long as their relationship is such that the second he thinks of maybe prioritizing someone else over her, she falls apart. her sobriety can't be dependent on her brother being by her side every day and her always feeling that she's the most important person to him. she needs support but he isn't the right person to give her that. she needs to learn to be independent from him and deal with her almost emotionally incestuous relationship with him if she is ever to grow as a person. and that is never going to happen as long as they live together or even live in the same village. so choosing to go with Ben over staying with her shows self-preservation, which isn't exactly common for Aaron. and tbh I think that’s a good thing.