#also no one is social and i have no friends in most my lessons
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My thoughts on Billy are this:
Pearl has no named pet in Last Life. She had a wolf army but only two survived with her to the final fight, she didn’t react very much when they died, and she never named any of them. She used them to great effect for killing, however, which is a lesson she would bring with her into DL. She did utilize them to help Ren kill Cleo, which… cycles and all that. “We want to kill Cleo and then we can reconnect the three Gs” lives in my head rent free. The only other pet she has is her two axolotls, which she does not name and both of which Joel kills.
I don’t know that Pearl has ever really connected to an animal the way she connected to Tilly because she hasn’t been alone since Double Life. Tilly was her lifeline because she was all Pearl had. She was her soulmate because no one else wanted her. She was the only living being who Pearl could rely on. And both times losing her were devastating to Pearl. The first time, it kicked off the Scarlet Pearl arc, and the second time it spurred on her rampage towards Impulse and Bdubs, and Cleo and Martyn. She had her wolf pack because when you can’t count on allies to fight beside you, to protect you and want you to live, you have to be able to count on something.
This is in contrast to every series since, where Pearl has largely kept her animals tucked away in her base and where her pets have been more important in the way they help her interact with other players than anything.
The first thing Pearl says to Froggy is, “I found you! Hello! This is gonna be my friend of the season, in animal form”, because she wanted to be prepared in case she was alone again. And then said “You are my love. If you die, I don’t know what I would do,” because again, she was thinking about what happened after Tilly’s first death. She was preparing to need animal companionship in lieu of players, but then she found BigB.
Froggy stayed at the bottom of that pit trap for the rest of the series if I remember correctly, and Pearl hardly ever moved her from that one corner of the tower even before that. Why? Because she had BigB to bounce off of, and because, frankly, cats just aren’t as useful as wolves in Minecraft. You don’t get a cat for protection, unless you’re really that scared of creepers. Pearl wanted a companion from Froggy, not a warrior. She didn’t want to risk losing something dear again, so when Froggy falls into the pit trap that kills Pearl, that she herself set, she leaves her at the bottom.
Mailbox and Matchbox were closer to the kind of companionship she had with some of the wolves in DL, but certainly not Tilly level. And again, she didn’t want to risk losing them, which is why they stayed tucked under her base near the skeleton farm. It’s why her main concern when the wither and the warden were out was to get three things underground: Matchbox, Mailbox, and Bdubs. She didn’t want to lose any of them.
However, the most important thing about her wolves in SL, to me, is how they affected her interactions with other players. For one, they were the catalyst for the “Pupper Alliance” with Cleo. Pearl doesn’t play the social game, so she often takes alliances in situations of when you can materially help each other, rather than out of friendliness. Needing bones to tame wolves gave her a material reason to ally with Cleo. It also meant that we got yet another Cleo and Pearl betrayal when Cleo killed some of Pearl’s wolves later on. The other is something Pearl actually said in her episode today. She knows how powerful a wolf army is, it’s a large part of how she won Doible Life. Which is why when it came down the wire, because she had no intentions of winning, she left Matchbox and Mailbox at home and sat down her wolves so they wouldn’t hurt Gem. That was Scar’s kill, his fight with Gem. It’s probably the most literal example of her wolves taking a backseat to her companionship with other players.
In Real Life, she was just doing it as a joke and because she wanted to pet a Minecraft wolf in VR (which I respect so hard) and thus I have no analysis lol.
As for this season, it seems like Pearl’s theme this whole season has been “trying to live up to what people think I am, even though I’m not that anymore”. It’s why it’s kind of funny that she keeps trying to do the cool Scarlet Pearl killer thing and failing miserably. And it’s why when she comes across the wolf in episode one, she goes out of her way to not only tame it, but name it something so close to Tilly (yes I know she was likely also playing into the Tilly Milly thing). But just like with Froggy and just like with Matchbox and Mailbox, her main priority is keeping them safe, not with using them to win. She doesn’t want to win, she’s here to have fun!
Losing Billy isn’t devastating to Pearl because, unlike in DL or LimL, she doesn’t really need the wolves for emotional support, and unlike in LL, DL, or SL, she had no intention of making a dog army because she has no intention of placing high. Pearl has literally said she wants to see a top four of people who haven’t made top four before (and Impulse lol), which as the only person who’s ever made top four in all of her seasons (4th, 1st, 4th, 2nd), is a pretty big tell. She was trying to keep him safe by not moving him, but like she said to Joel, everything dies in the Life Series.
I would also like to point out, Pearl has only ever named two of her pets entirely on her own, Matchbox and Milly. Martyn named Tilly because she had accidentally trampled some wheat (tilling, get it?) She named Froggy after the frogs that BigB had said were his family, because Froggy was hers. Mailbox, if I’m remembering, was a Bdubs idea. Matchbox was only named because Pearl kept accidentally calling Mailbox Matchbox so she decided to just name one of her other wolves. Milly was a joke that Pearl came up with. And Billy was Cleo’s suggestion. To quote Pearl when she found Froggy, “I don’t know what I’m gonna call you yet. We’ll find out. You know usually we kinda figure these things out when we go talk to somebody,”
#pearlescentmoon#life series#last life smp#double life SMP#limited life SMP#secret life SMP#wild life SMP#wild life spoilers#real life SMP
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Just realised I haven't drawn anything in like 10 days sorry artblock got me GOOD and also college is BEATING me tf UP :(
#minor vent but i alr fucking despise a levels#apprently im supposed to do 5 hours outside lessons but like idk what exactly to do???#also i literally cannot concentrate on revision like i js cant do it#im prob js using shitty methods but i dont know to make them any better???#also im just undeniably BAD at it and ik im only a half term in but im so discouraged alr#like my recent homework i got 2/6 questions right and they were multiple choice so it wasn't supposed to be THAT difficult#and then 5/10 on an essay question#which is still not great tbh#in my defense the multilple choice ones are worded in such a way its basically impossible to figure out what they mean#fuck i am so cooked i hate it here#also no one is social and i have no friends in most my lessons#doesnt help really#anyway vent over i want college OVER
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GRAAAAAAARGHHHHH okay im fine
#sooooo so tired today goddd........still in pain i mean when am i not but at least its not proper cramps yet. and stressed and lonely#but whatever i dont care im making a wholeass roast dinner. by myself bc my roommate doesnt like cooking. or hanging out with me i guess#well thats a bit mean i know shes tired this weekend n needs to recover but also shes on call w friends rn so.#i like cooking and sharing food but also to me the kitchen is a social space and when im making food to eat with other ppl i like to have#company for the whole process..... esp when its smth that takes a couple hours!!!! but its ok. mannnn#i mean i cant make her do anything if she doesnt want to be around me i respect that. but still im allowed to be frustrated#i miss living with more people like i dont miss the time period bc i was so mentally ill then but itd be nice to have one more person here#so i feel less insane abt thr fact i have a bigger social battery and need more from other ppl than the person i spend most time with#this chicken smells fuckin bangin tho at least theres that. should be done in 15 then ill rest it while i put yorkshire puds on#and finish off the roasties and maybe ill blanch some green beans too. and ill make a gravy from the trivet#and then put a movie on while i eat bc presumably my roommate will just take her portion back to her room.... and rejoin her call#at least im going out to see a friend tmr. and ill have gym on monday + we might get food after. and hopefully a movie night tues or weds#and gym social again thurs and ill see whos around sat n sun maybe i can convince someone to go for a hike with me#i cant be alone while im pmsing and in pain i learn this lesson every month when i start wanting to kms and then never change#made dough for brown butter cookies too so ill bake them after dinner while i do my ironing n then polish my boots#man i wish i couldve gone to the gym social today instead of doing my weekend chores. sigh..... roast chicken we're really in it now#.diaries#update ok maybe i was just hungry.
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Hang..
#ran out of tags on the other post but I've got so manynof these#was best friends with a pair of roommates who became so intensely codependent that they both had breakdowns when the other studied abroad#a guy who had siblings regularly terrorized my friend who also had siblings with the corpse of a roachnfor over a year (roommates)#ive known ONE situation where the only chold terrorized an apartment of sibling people. but that's because they were all poc and she was#insanely racist. like so racist that MY little pale jewish ass got weird vibes from her on first contact#learned some good lessons from roommates but none of them are things I'd be able to explain to a kid#except maybe 'if you get the feeling someone's mad at you all the time but won't tell you for some reason just move out'#oh! my friend had a partner who was a terror of a roommate. as in she psychologically terrorized my friend and their roommates#once listened in on a convo that went 'i shouldnt have to warn people I'm walking into an apartment I PAY FOR just because they want a date#oh also @ my niblings sometimes situations are unwinable before you even get there. sometimes people just make up their minds about you#and you just gotta deal with the consequences of that decision. if you're in an unwinnable social situation just hit the bricks#you can't fix something that isn't functionally broken and it puts you in situations where every choice is wrong#living with people who grew up with fucked up sibling relationships created a lot of '0 good dialogue options' situations#cant leave the living room because then they asked for something and got it and that's shameful. can't sit in the living room. they want it.#again i could have been a way better roommate. for a multitude of reasons some under my control some not. but lord in heaven#but having siblings does NOT socialize you to live with other adults i hate that myth every situation I've lived in has proved it wrong#NONE OF US had any clue how to live with people who weren't our relatives#and this will happen to you. you will move out and realize the extent of your habits cause most people's parents just tolerate stuff#or your parents just got used to things that would drive other adults insane and they don't notice the things you do cause they're your kid#(or they might have even taught you those habits/level of cleanliness themselves)#one dude at the boarding house got mad about being asked to have basic responsibility for his room. so he left it covered in trash#and when they went to clean it it was covered in a fine layer of mold on almost every surface. genuine biohazard scene#got hit with 'youre the only person i don't regret letting into my house' from the woman we paid rent to when i moved out#and I'm like gee the bar is in hell 😭
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🍓All about: Astrocartography! 🍓
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆ astrocartography is a form of astrology that shows your life under certain places!
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆ there's your sun, moon, mercury, venus, mars, saturn and more!
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆ your sun line is where you should go if you want to feel like the main character! being under your sun line brings out your real self and you'll feel quite comfortable there.
my sun line is over poland! when I was there I felt like I was in a main character 😂. I was quite happy and met a lot of positive people there.
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆ your moon line is where you'll probably feel more emotionally in tune. you could have been raised there or have some sort of pull towards that place. your moon line is like your home and you'll feel like you belong there.
my moon line is over Ottawa! I used to live there for many years and I feel so emotionally connected to that city! my mom studied there and my sister was born there.
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆ your mercury line would be the best place to network, make friends and to learn. this would be a good place to go if you're studying for a bit or socializing. you can learn a lot of things here. I haven't been under my mercury line yet so anyone who has should definitely share their experience!
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆ your venus line is where you'll be the most creative. if you're working in the entertainment industry for example, being under your venus line can bring a lot of ideas and inspiration. venus also rules over love so it's possible to have a lot of romantic experiences under your venus line!
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆ your mars line is where you'll be the most motivated! this line can be a hit or miss because you might encounter fights and issues under this line, or other times you'll feel like a lot of things are faced paced. this can be good for networking and such but isn't the best for settling down.
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆ your jupiter line where you'll feel luck and is also great for school. you'll get a lot of opportunities as well. when you're under your jupiter line things can feel "big" for you. I'm living under my jupiter line and it's the best! I have a lot of opportunities, met with people and everything is big! my school is bigger than my old one, I have met cool people and life can feel like a movie at times!
‧˚꒰🐾꒱༘⋆ your saturn line is where you'll feel tied down or where you'll learn the most lessons. saturn represents discipline and limitation. for me living under my saturn line for years felt limiting. my old school didn't have much opportunities and I was facing a lot of hardships.
#kpop astrology#astrology#kpop birth chart#astro notes#astrocartography#sun line#moon line#mercury line#venus line#mars line#jupiter line#saturn line#astrology chart#astrocartography chart
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On Impulse
Pairing: Tech x fem!Reader
Words: 10,703
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! friends to lovers, kind of enemies to lovers? but in a goofy silly way, Tech's autism rizz, fluff, arguing as a form of flirting, smut, thigh riding, unprotected sex, fingering, semi-public sex, naked female clothed male
Summary: You've made it your personal mission to convince Tech that letting loose and taking risks for the sake of fun can be a good thing. During your day off on Coruscant, your efforts are unexpectedly rewarded.
A/N: There's no excuse for this I just love writing feral Tech. Also wow! 400 followers! Hello! Thanks for being here.
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Tech knows he can be a little... much.
It's not really his fault. The Kaminoans who designed him and his brothers didn't really think to account for things like social awareness, or tact, or "when not to talk." All they programmed him with was an insatiable thirst for information and a single-minded desire to be useful.
The others in the squad had been able to pick things up on the way, seeming to possess a natural sense for the sort of thing one says or does at any given time. Tech, though, just doesn't have that. He has a brain that's constantly running and processing data, and an all-consuming need to do something about it.
So he can't help it that his mouth tends to get away from him when he's excited. The information just comes pouring out.
His brothers call it a data dump.
The Kaminoans call it an unfortunate defect in his otherwise exceptional programming.
But you call it charming.
"And furthermore," Tech is ranting, following you as you walk through the halls of the Senate building, “the use of such a heavy gauge power coupling is inefficient and a waste of valuable resources which could be better spent in other areas. The new couplings are half the size, and can be manufactured on-planet instead of having to be shipped from across the galaxy."
"Not my fault if you were wrong, Tech," you toss over your shoulder at him, smirking as he splutters in offense.
"Wrong?!" he repeats, sounding aghast at the mere suggestion. "I don't think so."
You roll your eyes, but there's a fond smile on your lips. Tech is a genius, really, he is. But his ego is sometimes as big as his brain, and you love to wind him up a bit.
He gets so flustered and huffy and cute when you do, and you can't resist. He's just too adorable not to tease a little. So you keep walking, even though you've long ago lost track of where you're actually going.
"I mean, I can admit when I'm wrong," you go on, slowing your pace just a bit. "It's a sign of a healthy psyche."
Tech scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest, and you bite back a laugh. He's wearing his full armor, minus his helmet, and it only adds to the ridiculousness of the moment. The two of you are quite the duo, sticking out like a pair of sore thumbs among the throngs of politicians and Senators going about their daily business.
You'd thought this outing would be something fun, an opportunity to get Tech out of the Marauder for a bit. You know that he gets antsy, and he loves nothing more than a good lecture or an impromptu lesson.
Plus, it was your off day, and you wanted to spend some time with him, since you knew he was only planning to hole up in his bunk and work on fixing up some broken circuit board or another. Not the most thrilling way to spend an afternoon.
And you can't even count the number of times you've come back to the Marauder, only to find him elbow-deep in some project, surrounded by scrap parts and wires and tools and completely oblivious to the world.
That's fine, though, really. It's just who he is, and you know better than to interrupt, but you can't deny you like it better when his brain is occupied with you instead.
The way he lights up when he gets the chance to talk about whatever is on his mind is endearing, and you love listening to him speak. You'll take Tech the lecturer over Tech the hermit any day.
So, you'd come to the Senate to let him geek out. One of your friends was an assistant to a Senator, and you'd asked if you could give Tech a tour. It was more of a chance for Tech to give you a tour, actually, because you were clueless, and he knew exactly where to go and what to see. But he doesn't know that.
What had started out as your attempt at tricking Tech into a date has quickly turned into another argument, but that's nothing new between the two of you.
It's become your routine, something you've done since the first time you met. You and Tech bickering about this and that, teasing and mocking each other but with a light in your eyes and a smile on your faces. Sometimes it feels like it's the only way the two of you communicate.
You can't even remember now what the first fight had been about. But you know that he had said something blunt and off-hand, and you'd gotten offended and given him a piece of your mind. He'd argued back, and the two of you had gone back and forth until you had run out of steam.
It's what always happens.
But you had seen a glimmer of something in Tech's eyes that day, and when he'd started arguing back, there had been a spark there. It wasn't boredom, or apathy. It was excitement, passion, a fire in him that you had never seen in anyone else before.
He had liked it.
You had, too.
And that's when the real games had started.
It's not the same now. You've gotten used to each other, and you can tell when he's trying to rile you up. He does the same thing every time. He'll say something rude, or condescending, and you'll shoot him a dirty look and a sharp comment. Then, he'll say something even more rude and condescending, and then, finally, you'll lose your temper, and the two of you will bicker and banter until the both of you have worked through whatever is bothering you.
It's kind of like therapy.
Or foreplay.
Maybe a little of both.
And now, here the two of you are, doing it again. You're wandering the halls, not even paying attention to where you're going anymore. You're far too distracted by the way Tech's brow is furrowing in concentration as he thinks of how to prove himself right, and the way his nose is wrinkling in irritation at your constant teasing.
You're both enjoying this a little too much.
"I assure you, my psyche is perfectly healthy," Tech is saying as he follows behind you, and you grin at him over your shoulder.
"I don't know, Tech," you taunt. "I can't help but notice how much you love being right. That sounds like a classic case of an inflated ego to me."
He scoffs.
"My ego is perfectly sized, thank you," he tells you, his tone haughty. "It's not my fault that my intelligence is far superior to the vast majority of beings in the galaxy."
"Oh, and humble, too," you add, rolling your eyes. "My mistake."
He ignores your quip, still following you down the corridor, his steps slowing just a bit.
"Where are we going, anyway?" he asks, peering at you curiously. "This isn't the way back to the hangar."
You smirk, stopping in your tracks and turning to face him. Tech nearly runs into you, stopping short at the last moment, and the two of you stand only inches apart, your face turned up to his. He's almost a full foot taller than you, and the way he's staring down at you makes your heart beat a little faster. He's not smiling, not really, but you can see the amusement in his eyes.
"We're not going back to the hangar," you inform him, and his expression changes to one of confusion.
"Then where are we going?"
You don't answer. Instead, you grab him by the wrist, pulling him after you as you continue walking. "I have something else in mind."
He stumbles after you, tripping over his own feet in his hurry to keep up with your sudden change of pace.
"Where are we going?" he repeats, his tone slightly higher than usual. He sounds flustered, and you can't help the little laugh that slips past your lips.
"You'll see," is all you say.
He grumbles, but follows along nonetheless, allowing you to tug him after you.
"We don't have time for detours," he tries.
"We made a detour for power couplings, didn't we?" you counter. "What's the difference?"
"A power coupling is a necessary component of the Marauder's hyperdrive," he protests. "A 'detour' is merely a waste of time."
"But the ones we had were just fine," you argue, still pulling him along.
"Just fine is not good enough," he replies. "I will prove it to you. Once I have the new couplings installed, I will run a simulation, and you will see how much more efficiently the Marauder will perform. You will admit that I was correct."
You can't help but laugh at his self-assurance.
"If you say so," you tease.
"I do say so," he counters. "I am a man of science, and I always back up my claims with evidence. If I say something is fact, it is a fact."
You snicker again, and Tech glares down at you.
"You can be rather vexing," he says with a sigh of resignation.
"I try."
He rolls his eyes, but you catch the hint of a smile on his lips.
"I'm sure you do," he mutters, and you bite back a grin.
You love teasing Tech, but not just him. You like doing it to the others, too, especially when they least expect it. You have a reputation for being sweet and innocent and nice, but the truth is, you can be just as devious as the rest of them when you want to be.
You just choose your targets more carefully, and Tech is the perfect victim.
He's so serious, and so uptight, and so easy to get worked up. It's a challenge, keeping up with him and his constant rants and lectures, but you're nothing if not determined, and you have a lot of fun doing it.
But your favorite is the way Tech will get so frustrated and worked up, and then, once he's exhausted himself, and he knows that you're not going to change your mind, he'll start grumbling. And pouting.
And it's just the cutest thing in the world.
You don't mean to upset him, or anything, but the way he puffs up like an angry bird when you challenge him is just adorable, and you can't help yourself. You just can't stop.
And if the way he's looking at you is any indication, he can't stop, either.
"Oh, come on, Tech," you chuckle. "Lighten up a bit. Today is supposed to be fun. We're on Coruscant, there's nothing dangerous happening, and the weather is actually nice for a change. Just try and enjoy yourself a little."
"I am enjoying myself," he argues.
"By arguing with me?" you counter.
Tech looks down at you, the faintest smile tugging at his lips. He doesn't look as irritated anymore, and there's a twinkle in his eyes that tells you that he's having a good time. He's enjoying himself, despite his protests, and he knows that you're onto him.
"Yes. I enjoy our debates," he answers simply. He pauses, then adds, "Though I would hardly consider it a debate. It is a mere fact that the new couplings are better than the old ones."
You roll your eyes, and Tech's lips twitch at the gesture. There's a warmth that spreads through your chest when you see him like this, happy and relaxed. You like seeing him smile, and you like it even more when it's because of you.
"Sure, sure," you placate him. "Whatever you say, Tech."
"That is what I say," he confirms, and you can't help but laugh.
"Okay, well, whatever."
"I win, then?"
"Fine," you sigh, pretending to be put out. "You win."
He smiles, smug and self-satisfied. "Of course I do."
You snort, rolling your eyes again, and he just keeps grinning. He looks so proud of himself, and you can't help but feel a surge of affection for him. You like this side of Tech, the one that's playful and teasing and fun. It's a side that not many people get to see, and you can't help but feel lucky that you're the one he shows it to.
You like this, the two of you together, alone, no one around to hear your conversations or watch the way you look at each other. There's something intimate about it, something that makes your stomach flutter and your heart beat a little faster.
It's different, when it's just the two of you. The arguments and banter are still there, but there's something else, too, something warm and gentle and special. You want to drag this moment out as long as possible, and you intend to.
"So, where are we going, then?" he asks, and you bite your lip, trying to hide your smirk.
"Nowhere," you say, and he gives you a puzzled look. "Or, well, nowhere interesting."
"Then why did we take the detour?" he asks, and you can hear the curiosity in his voice. He's not annoyed or angry or irritated. He's genuinely interested in what you're doing, and why. It makes you smile.
"Because, Tech," you explain, "sometimes, it's the journey that's important, not the destination."
He cocks his head to the side, considering your words.
"But if the destination is not important, then why bother going at all?" he asks. "What is the point of the journey, if not the destination?"
You can't help but laugh again. He's so literal sometimes. You've tried explaining the concept of "just because" to him, but it's a hard concept for him to grasp. There is no rhyme or reason to some things, no logic or scientific explanation. Some things just are. They're fun, or beautiful, or special. And sometimes, that's reason enough to do them.
You tell him as much, and Tech rolls his eyes. He doesn't believe you. He can't understand why you'd do something for no reason at all. But you know that he's listening. He's still following along with you, and there's no indication that he wants to leave.
"So you just wanted to wander around the Senate?" he asks, and you nod. "Why?"
"I don't know," you admit. "I just wanted to. And I thought it might be nice to do something together. You and me."
He looks at you for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face. There's a softness to his features, and his eyes are warm behind his goggles. It's a look that you've only ever seen him give you.
Sometimes when Tech looks at you, you feel like a bug under a microscope, like he's dissecting and cataloguing your every move. It's unnerving, and it makes your stomach twist with anxiety. But sometimes, like right now, he looks at you like he's seeing something new and wonderful, like you're a mystery he's trying to solve.
You don't mind it so much when he looks at you like that.
"It is...nice," he admits after a moment, his voice quiet. "Being together."
He says the words carefully, almost hesitantly, and you can see a slight flush creeping up his cheeks underneath his goggles.
You smile at him.
"It is, isn't it?"
You're still holding onto his wrist, and you slide your hand down to meet his, your fingers intertwining with his own. Tech doesn't pull away, and he doesn't seem surprised, or uncomfortable. He just lets it happen, and a soft, shy smile appears on his lips, his thumb gently stroking the back of your hand.
"I—"
Whatever Tech was about to say is cut off by a shout from behind him. Both of you jump, and Tech whips around to face the source of the sound. He steps in front of you, instinctively shielding you with his body, his free hand going to the blaster on his hip. You can feel his muscles tensing, and his grip on your hand tightens.
You peer over his shoulder and see a Corrie Guard, one of Fox's men, coming down the hall toward the two of you. Your blood runs cold.
"Hey!" he shouts. "This is a restricted area."
Tech glances at you over his shoulder. "It is?"
"Oops," you mutter back. "Guess we better get out of here."
The two of you turn and bolt down the hall. You can hear the guard's boots pounding behind you, and Tech's fingers are still interlaced with yours. Laughter is bubbling up inside of you, a mix of adrenaline and nervous energy. Tech lets out an amused huff, and the two of you turn the corner.
You nearly slam into another group of troopers, and Tech pulls you out of the way, keeping a firm grip on your hand. You barrel past the guards, who shout in alarm as they see the first guard chasing the two of you.
It's chaos, and the laughter spills out of you as Tech drags you through the maze of halls and corridors. The sound of your feet and the guards' boots echoes off the walls, and Tech is pulling you along behind him, not letting go. You can see the smile on his face, even as he turns and yells at you.
"Why are they chasing us?!"
"No idea!" you shout back, laughing.
"We should not be doing this!"
"Too late!"
The two of you sprint through the building, twisting and turning down hallways, the sound of the guards' footsteps following close behind.
"Tech! Over here!"
There's a door at the end of the hall, and it's unguarded. The two of you make a beeline for it, and you're both panting by the time you reach it. Tech slams his hand against the access panel, and the door slides open. He shoves you inside, and you have to duck under his arm before he follows close behind.
"Where are we?!" he asks, looking around.
You shrug, breathless, and he looks at you incredulously.
"We're in a closet," he says, and you can't help but giggle.
The room is dark, empty, and quiet. It’s also extremely cramped, and there's barely enough space for the two of you. The closet is clearly built for a maintenance droid, and the shelves are lined with cleaning supplies.
It's a tight fit, and you're pressed close together, chests heaving as you try to catch your breath. Tech is forced to bend down toward you to avoid hitting his head on the shelves above you, and his nose is practically touching yours.
"This is not an ideal hiding place," he complains. “It's not defensible. If they find us here, we'll be trapped."
"I know." You sigh, looking up at him. "I'm not an idiot."
"But you are the one who pulled me in here," he points out.
"Well, we had to get out of sight, didn't we?" you argue. "They were right behind us."
He shakes his head, a reluctant smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You are unbelievable."
"I'll take that as a compliment," you say, and you can hear his amused huff.
"You would," he murmurs, his tone dry.
"What are they gonna do?" you ask, looking up at him with a smirk. "Arrest us? For taking a shortcut?"
"I don't know why you're being so difficult about this," he grumbles. “We—mmph!”
Your free hand clasps over his mouth, silencing him. Tech's eyes widen behind his goggles, and he blinks at you in surprise. His other hand is still holding yours, and the two of you are standing so close together that you can feel the warmth of his body through his armor.
"Quiet," you hiss, and he gives you a look that is part exasperation, part amusement.
You keep your hand over his mouth, and the two of you stand there in the dark, the only sounds the hum of the ventilation system and the muffled footsteps of the guards outside. Your heart beats wildly in your chest as you stay as still as you can, and the feeling of Tech's lips beneath your palm is sending tingles down your spine.
You can feel his breath, warm and uneven, and you're suddenly hyper-aware of every inch of him that's touching you. Your fingers drag along the curve of his jaw, catching on the stubble there, and he shivers. It's barely noticeable, but you feel it, and you can't help the flush that creeps up your neck as you pull your hand away.
Tech's eyes are still wide, and his lips are parted, but he stays silent. He straightens, shifting a bit in the tight space, and you can feel his chest brush against yours. You can smell the leather of his armor, and the faint scent of grease and soap that lingers on his skin.
He's so close.
His leg is wedged between yours, and his body is radiating warmth. You're practically plastered to him, and every part of him that's touching you feels like it's burning. The hand that's holding yours is trembling, just a bit, and the closeness of the space, the heat, and the adrenaline from the chase are making your head spin. And you can't seem to stop staring at his mouth.
The voices in the hallway grow louder, and the two of you tense as you listen. They're right outside the door, and you suck in a sharp breath.
"Maybe they went the other way," someone is saying.
"They couldn't have gone far," another voice replies.
Tech's free hand comes up to rest on the shelf next to your head, bracing himself as he looms over you. His eyes are fixed on the door, and his brow is furrowed, a small frown on his face. You know he's probably running through a million different scenarios in his head, calculating the odds of each one, weighing the options and possible outcomes.
You know he's trying to figure out a way to get the two of you out of this, a plan, an escape route, something. Meanwhile, all you can seem to think about is how soft his lips look, and the way they had felt, warm and gentle against your hand.
"Let's just radio Fox and let him deal with it," a guard says. "I don't get paid enough to run around the Senate."
"We don't get paid at all," the other retorts.
"Exactly."
Tech adjusts his stance again, trying to get a better angle on the door. The motion presses his thigh harder between your legs, directly against your center. The touch sends a shock of arousal through you, and you have to bite your lip to keep from gasping aloud, praying he doesn't notice.
Of course, he does.
Tech snaps his head to look down at you, his eyes locking with yours, and you can see the surprise written all over his face. His lips part slightly, and his gaze flickers down to where your bodies are connected, then back up to your face.
You can see the moment realization dawns on him, and the way his pupils dilate behind his goggles is unmistakable.
"We'll search this side," someone is saying.
"They've gotta be around here somewhere."
You can barely hear them over the sound of your pulse pounding in your ears. You swallow thickly, and Tech's eyes dart to your throat, his lips parting a bit more. He looks a bit dazed, like he can't believe what just happened. Or maybe he can't believe the effect it's had on him.
You're having a hard time believing it yourself.
Tech is never one to be lost for words, or speechless, but now, he doesn't say a thing. His eyes are fixed on yours, and he's so close to you that you can see the flecks of gold in his eyes. He looks like he's about to say something, but then thinks better of it, his lips pressing together.
"Do you think they went upstairs?"
"Nah, it's too risky. They're probably still on this level."
Tech lets out a shaky sigh, his hand flexing against the shelf. His tongue darts out to wet his lips, and his eyes flutter closed before he takes a deep breath, and then his leg is moving up against you again, and this time, it's deliberate.
A small, choked gasp slips past your lips, your hand squeezing his, and Tech's eyes fly open.
You know you should say something, or do something, but you can't seem to form words, or even a coherent thought, really. All you can focus on is the way his leg is rubbing against you, sending sparks of pleasure through your entire body with every minuscule twitch.
Tech's breath hitches, and his grip on the shelf tightens. He's watching your reaction closely, his eyes roaming over your face. He's testing you, you realize, seeing what you'll do, how you'll react.
You don't move, and the pressure against your core increases, just a little, but it's enough. A whimper escapes you, and Tech's nostrils flare. You can feel the heat rising in your cheeks, and you're pretty sure you're the color of a sun-ripe pomfruit.
"Tech," you whisper, your voice coming out husky and breathless.
He doesn't say a word, his eyes boring into yours, his leg still moving, ever so slightly, against you. The guards are arguing now, but neither of you are paying attention. There's nothing but the two of you and this tiny, dark closet, and the friction that's building between you.
"Tech," you breathe again, a little louder this time.
His tongue darts out to wet his lips again, and his eyes flutter shut as he lets out a shaky breath. He's enjoying this, you realize. He's getting off on it. And the thought makes a fresh wave of arousal rush through you.
Tech is not usually an impulsive person. He's meticulous and precise and methodical. Everything he does is calculated, planned. He's not spontaneous, and he doesn't do things without thinking them through first. But right now, he's acting on instinct, and he doesn't seem to care about the consequences.
And the thought is making you feel things that are definitely not appropriate for this particular situation.
Another insistent brush against your core, and you're done for.
"Fuck," you whimper, your hips rolling forward into the contact. Your free hand shoots out and grabs his shoulder, giving you leverage as you press yourself harder against his thigh.
Tech makes a strangled sound, somewhere between a moan and a whimper, and his fingers curl harder around the edge of the shelf above you. The metal groans and bends under his grip.
The two of you are lost in a haze of pleasure and desire, your bodies moving together, desperately seeking more friction, more pressure, more contact. Tech is panting now, his breath coming in harsh, uneven gasps, and the sound is like music to your ears. He's always so in control, so put-together, but now, he's completely undone.
You can't stop staring at him, drinking in the sight of him, and his eyes are locked on yours, too. You're close, so close, and Tech must be able to tell because he's grinding his leg against you faster. The hand that was holding yours has moved to your hip, and he's pulling you closer, tighter, helping you grind against him.
His goggles are fogging up, and he's got that look on his face, the one he always gets when he's working on something. But this time, it's not the Marauder's circuitry or a busted datapad, it's you, and the realization makes your blood burn hot.
The voices outside the door are still going, but they're faint and distant, moving farther away, the words nothing but a meaningless buzz in the back of your mind. All that matters right now is the way Tech's thigh is rubbing against you, and the heat pooling in your core.
"Tech—"
Your words are cut off by a whimper, his name coming out like a plea, and you can't help the way your hips are jerking, seeking more contact. Your fingers are digging into his shoulder, and he's practically shaking, his breaths coming out in ragged gasps.
"I can't—" he gasps. "I can't think like this."
"Don't," you choke out, your voice trembling. "Don't think. Just...just..."
You're not even sure what you're asking him for, but you don't need to say anything else. He knows.
The pressure against your center increases, his leg rubbing harder, faster, and you can't hold back anymore. Your climax washes over you like a tidal wave, and your knees nearly give out, only Tech's firm grip on your hip holding you upright.
You barely make a sound before he's crushing his lips against yours, swallowing your moans and whimpers, his own muffled grunts echoing in your ears.
You cling to him, riding out the aftershocks of your release, and his mouth is hot and insistent against yours, his tongue stroking against yours. He's warm and soft and sweet, and he tastes like caf and something else that is distinctly Tech. His kisses are hungry, and his hands are roaming, and you're not sure if you're dreaming or if this is actually happening.
Tech kissing you. Tech, who has barely even touched you before today, who has avoided any and all physical contact with you since the moment you met, who has never, ever, shown any kind of interest in you, is kissing you, his hands and mouth and tongue setting your nerves on fire.
And all because of an impulsive idea, an accident.
You should stop. You know you should stop, but you can't bring yourself to.
"Tech—" you breathe, and his mouth moves to your jaw, kissing and licking and biting at the sensitive skin there. You're practically melting under his touch, your fingers carding through his hair, tugging gently. "Tech, the guards—"
"I know.”
He sounds just as wrecked as you do, his voice raw and husky, and you can't believe this is happening.
"We—"
Your words are cut off by his mouth again, and you're panting and writhing against him. His hands are on your ass, and he lifts you, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist. The shelves shake and rattle as he presses you against the wall, and the new position allows him to grind his codpiece against your heat, the feeling making you both groan into each other's mouths.
You've never wanted anything more than you want him right now, and the desperation in his kisses is telling you that he feels the same way.
"Tech," you whimper.
"I know," he breathes, his lips moving against yours.
The guards' voices are fading, growing quieter and more distant, but neither of you notice. You're both too lost in each other, in the feeling of finally, finally, giving in to the tension that's been building between you for weeks, months even.
"Tech—"
"I know," he says again, kissing you harder, deeper.
The guards' voices are gone, now, and the only sounds are the hum of the ventilation system, the creak of the shelves, and the wet, desperate noises of the two of you devouring each other.
"We have to—we can't—" you manage, and he pulls back, his mouth moving to your neck, trailing hot, open-mouthed kisses across your skin.
"I know," Tech breathes, his voice a low growl that sends shivers down your spine. "We can't. This is—"
His hips buck, and he presses himself harder against you, making you both moan.
"This is dangerous," he finishes, his mouth moving lower, to the sensitive spot just below your ear.
"It's wrong," you gasp, but your fingers are tangling in his hair, and you're tilting your head to give him better access. "We can't let anyone find out about this."
"No," he says, his teeth nipping at your throat. "No one can know. If the others found out, they'd never let us hear the end of it."
You shudder, and his hands are everywhere, roaming, grabbing, groping, and his lips are tracing patterns across your skin. You're not sure if he's trying to prove a point or not, but you can't stop the little gasps and moans that are falling from your mouth.
"What—what are we gonna tell them?" you ask, your voice breathless and shaky.
"I don't know," he groans, his hands sliding down to the backs of your thighs, squeezing hard. "I can't think."
You laugh, the sound coming out as a desperate, breathless thing. "Me either."
His mouth is on yours again, and he kisses you fiercely, hungrily, like he can't get enough. Your hands are in his hair, tugging and pulling and holding him to you, and his hips are bucking against yours, grinding his codpiece against you. It's not enough, and you need more, but you can't take it. You're too wound up, and the friction is delicious torture.
You grab his face in both hands, forcing him to look at you. His eyes are wild, his pupils blown wide, and he looks like he's going to come apart at the seams.
"Tech," you gasp. "Tech, please."
"Yes?" he asks, his voice rough and strained.
"I want you," you admit. "I want this. I want you, right now."
He groans, his fingers digging into your hips, and his forehead drops to yours.
"I want this, too," he breathes, his voice barely a whisper.
You're clinging to him, and his mouth is on yours, and it's all a blur, a mess of tongues and teeth and moans. You're clawing at his armor, and he's tugging at your clothes, and there's barely any space left between the two of you. It's a frenzy, a frenetic energy, and you're both chasing the same thing, the same end goal.
Tech's fingers slip beneath the waistband of your pants, and he tugs, his movements jerky and uncoordinated. His hand is fumbling, clumsy, and you know he's not used to this. He's not used to the intimacy, or the desperation, or the lack of control. He's not used to being this wound up, and it's showing.
It's cute.
He's cute.
He's so fucking cute, and you have no idea what you're going to do with him.
You don't know where it comes from, or who started it, but suddenly, you're both laughing, a mixture of nerves and excitement and relief. You're smiling, and he's smiling, and you're just so happy, and so overwhelmed, and you're not sure if you've ever been this happy before.
Tech gives up on the clasp, and instead, he tugs off his glove with his teeth and shoves his hand down the front of your pants, his bare skin hot against your flesh. His fingers slide between your folds, and the moment they meet the wetness there, you're both moaning.
You can feel his fingers stroking you, rubbing at your clit, and your hips jerk, bucking against him.
"You feel incredible," he murmurs, and the sound of his voice, all breathless and awestruck, sends a shiver down your spine.
"You—ah, fuck," you gasp, unable to continue as his fingers swirl over your sensitive bundle of nerves.
He smirks, and he looks so goddamn smug, so satisfied, and you're pretty sure you've never been more turned on in your life.
"Tech," you whine, and he chuckles, a low, deep sound that sends a tremor through your body.
"Is this good?" he asks, his voice teasing, and you can't help but giggle.
"You know it is," you manage, and he grins.
"I do," he says. "I just wanted to hear you say it."
He's still smirking, and you roll your eyes, even as he slips a finger inside of you. You're panting, and your hands are scrabbling at his chest plate, trying to find purchase. He's got you pinned, and you're practically hanging from him, your thighs locked around his waist.
"Tech," you gasp, and his hand is working, pumping in and out of you.
"I can't believe how wet you are," he mutters. "I've barely even touched you."
"I'm not usually like this," you argue. "It's—mm, fuck—it's just you."
He moans, his forehead dropping against yours. "You have no idea what that does to me."
"Show me," you reply, and his grip on your hip tightens, his fingers flexing against your skin.
"I will," he promises. "I will."
You can feel his breath on your face, hot and uneven, and his mouth is so close, his lips brushing against yours.
"Just—fuck, Tech, just fuck me," you plead. "Please."
He lets out a ragged groan as he pulls his hand away, and you nearly sob at the loss. You can feel him fumbling with his belt, his other hand holding you up, and he's cursing, his fingers shaking.
"Why—why are these damn things so—ugh!"
He finally manages to undo his belt, and it hits the floor with a thud, the ridiculous amount of pouches and gadgets clattering to the ground. The sound makes you laugh, and he shoots you a glare.
"Stop that," he chides. "This is a serious matter."
"I'm sorry," you gasp, barely able to contain your mirth. "It's just—the sound!"
He rolls his eyes, but his lips are twitching, and his fingers are back on his codpiece, fumbling with the clasps.
"I will never understand why you need so much equipment," you tease, and he scoffs.
"The amount of equipment I carry has nothing to do with my ability to—"
"Just take it off, Tech," you groan. "I'm dying here."
He glares at you, but the effect is ruined by the flush that's creeping up his neck. You can't help but smile at the sight.
"I'm trying," he huffs, "but I can't do anything when you're distracting me."
"Sorry," you apologize, biting your lip.
Tech gives you a look, but his attention is already back on his codpiece, and his fingers are flying over the clasps. He's got a look of intense concentration on his face, and he's practically vibrating with impatience. You undo the buttons on your shirt, tugging it down and exposing your chest, and Tech's gaze flickers over to you, his lips parting as his eyes travel down your body.
"That is not helping," he mutters, and you laugh, leaning back and bracing yourself against the shelves.
"Maybe if you had less equipment, it would be easier to get out of it," you tease, and he lets out an irritated huff.
"If I had less equipment, I wouldn't be able to do half the things I do."
"True," you concede, a grin on your face. "And then I wouldn't be nearly as interested in you."
He looks up at you, his eyes wide, and the corner of his mouth turns up in a half-smile.
"Are you trying to tell me something?" he asks, his voice soft and teasing.
"Maybe," you say, biting your lip.
He doesn't say anything, just stares at you, and his expression is so earnest and sincere that it makes your heart flutter. He closes his eyes and shakes his head, letting out a huff of laughter.
"You are," he says, his voice quiet. "You're telling me that you're interested in me."
"Well, duh," you laugh. "Why else would I have dragged you along today?"
He doesn't say anything, but you can see the flush on his cheeks darken.
"You're such a dork," you tease.
"And you are the most infuriating, confusing, aggravating, and fascinating person I've ever met," he replies as his eyes open again, his gaze locking with yours.
"That's one hell of a compliment."
"It's a fact."
You're not sure what to make of the sincerity in his tone. You're not sure what to make of any of this. It's not exactly what you'd planned, but you can't help the thrill that's running through you.
"I have no idea what I'm going to do with you," Tech says, and the fondness in his voice makes your heart swell.
He finally gets his codpiece undone, and it falls to the floor with a clang. You can't help but glance down at his groin, and you see his erection straining against his blacks.
"I have a few ideas," you murmur, and he lets out a strangled laugh.
"So do I."
Tech sets you down on the floor, and your legs are shaky, but he keeps you steady, his hands on your hips. His hands hook into the waistband of your pants, and you can feel his knuckles brushing against your skin as he tugs them down. It’s an agonizingly slow process, and the anticipation is making your blood pound in your veins.
"Force," he hisses as your underwear sticks to your skin, the fabric clinging to your slick folds.
"You did this to me," you say, your voice trembling. "It's your fault."
"I'm willing to take the blame," he replies, his eyes locked on your cunt.
He pulls your pants down, and you step out of them, your shirt still hanging open. You're bare before him, and he's still fully dressed, the plastoid armor covering almost every inch of his skin. You're about to ask him to take something else off when his hands are on you again, gripping your ass and lifting you up.
You let out a startled yelp as he pins you against the wall, his hands spreading your thighs and holding them apart. You can feel the hard line of his cock pressing against you, separated only by the thin fabric of his blacks, and you can't stop the moan that spills from your lips.
"I want you so much," he breathes, his hips thrusting, the friction making you cry out. "I want this, so much, and it's—"
"Tech," you gasp. "Don't stop."
"I want to take my time," he says. "I want to do this properly. I want to do this right, but I can't, not right now."
"Tech," you plead. "It's okay."
He lets out a frustrated groan, his fingers digging into the flesh of your ass.
"This isn't—we shouldn't—"
"Tech," you gasp. "It's okay."
You grab his face, forcing him to look at you, and his eyes are wild, frantic.
"We can take our time later," you whisper. "We can take all the time in the world, but right now, I need you, okay? I need you, and we don't have time."
He shudders, and his cock twitches against your heat, making you moan.
"We can take this slow, later," you promise, and his eyes search yours, looking for any hint of uncertainty. He must not find any, because he nods, and the tension drains from his body.
"Okay," he says, his voice shaky. "Okay."
His hips rock, and you whimper as his clothed erection slides between your folds, the friction making you tremble. You're practically drenched, and you can feel the slickness dripping down your thighs, soaking the front of his blacks. He's not doing any better, his cock throbbing and straining against the fabric.
"Fuck," he hisses.
"Yes, that," you groan.
“You’re impossible," he growls, his hand moving to pull down his blacks. His cock springs free, and the sight of it, thick and heavy and dripping, makes your mouth water.
"And you're taking too long," you shoot back, your fingers curling around his length.
He's hard and silky soft, and his skin is feverishly hot, and the feeling of him, so hard and desperate, makes you moan. You drag your fingers along his shaft, tracing the vein, and his hips buck. He's panting, his eyes fixed on your hand as you pump his cock, and you can feel his muscles twitching and trembling.
"I'm not going to last," he gasps.
"Good," you reply, guiding his cock toward your entrance. "I don't want you to."
You can feel the head of his cock brushing against your slit, and you both moan. He's leaking, and his pre-cum is mixing with your arousal, slicking him up and easing the way. You can feel him sliding through your folds, teasing you, and it's driving you wild.
He pushes forward, his hips jerking, and you both moan as the head of his cock slips inside. You’re about to tell him to keep going when he slams into you, his entire length sheathing itself in your cunt in one swift thrust.
The cry that falls from your lips is muffled by Tech’s mouth as he captures yours, swallowing the sound. He's so big, and the sudden intrusion is almost painful, but the pleasure is overwhelming, and you cling to him, fingers scrambling for purchase on his shoulders.
His hands are bruising your thighs, and his hips are stuttering, the rhythm uneven and sloppy. There’s not much room to move, but he manages, thrusting shallowly, grinding his hips against yours.
"I'm sorry," he pants, his words slurring. "I'm not—fuck, I can't—"
"It's fine," you gasp. "It's fine, just—ah, Tech!"
Your back arches as he hits that spot inside of you, and he groans, his forehead dropping against yours. His goggles are pressing against your face, and you can feel the cold metal against your heated skin.
"You feel amazing," he pants, his hips rolling.
"You—you're not bad yourself," you gasp, and he laughs, a low, husky sound.
"Not bad? That's the best you can do?"
"You're ruining the moment," you groan, and he scoffs.
"Apologies," he says, his tone mocking. "What can I do to make it up to you?"
You roll your hips, and Tech grunts, his grip on your thighs tightening.
"You can start by fucking me properly," you breathe.
"As you wish."
His thrusts pick up speed, his hands moving to grip your ass, lifting you up and down, helping you bounce on his cock. The shelf behind you rattles, the items stacked on it shifting and wobbling, and Tech lets out a breathless huff of laughter.
"You're—Force, you're a hazard," he gasps, and you laugh, the sound morphing into a moan as he grinds against you.
"I've always wanted to say this," you pant, your nails scraping across his scalp, "shut the hell up and fuck me, Tech."
He growls, his pace picking up, and the angle of his thrusts changes, and suddenly, he's hitting that spot inside you again. Your orgasm is building, and you're teetering on the edge, your body thrumming with pleasure.
Tech is panting, his breaths coming out in ragged gasps, and his forehead is resting against yours, his lips brushing against your skin.
"Touch yourself,” he orders, his voice rough and hoarse. "I want to feel you come."
You comply, your hand slipping between your bodies, your fingers finding your clit. Your eyes flutter shut as the first jolt of pleasure hits you, and Tech lets out a choked groan.
"Look at me," he pleads, and you open your eyes, gazing up at him.
He looks utterly wrecked, his cheeks flushed, his mouth hanging open, his brow furrowed in concentration. He's gorgeous, and you can't believe this is actually happening.
Tech is fucking you, in a closet, while a bunch of Corries are patrolling the halls outside. It's the craziest, most insane, and most arousing thing that has ever happened to you. There's no doubt in your mind that you're going to be sore for a week, but it's totally worth it.
"You're so beautiful," he pants, his words slurring together. "You're so perfect, so tight, and Force, the sounds you're making—"
He cuts himself off with a groan as he drives into you, and you cry out, the pleasure building. He's babbling now, and it's not even coherent, just a stream of nonsense and curse words and half-formed sentences. He's saying something about how good you feel, and how much he's wanted this, and how he never thought he'd have this chance, and it's all a jumbled mess, but it's the sweetest thing you've ever heard.
His rhythm is erratic, his hips jerking, and his face is twisted with desperation and need. He's getting close, you can tell, and you're right there with him, teetering on the edge.
"Tech," you hiss, your hand speeding up, your fingers rubbing furiously at your clit. "Oh, fuck, Tech—"
He slams into you, the tip of his cock hitting that spot deep inside, and you shatter. You come hard, clenching around his cock, and you barely have time to clap a hand over your mouth before your orgasm crashes over you. You're biting down on your palm, your teeth leaving deep indents, and the sound that escapes your lips is muffled and raw.
"Oh," Tech gasps, his eyes fluttering closed. "You're going to make me—"
He doesn't get a chance to finish his sentence. The tension inside of him snaps, and he thrusts into you one last time, burying himself to the hilt and grinding against you, forcing you to take every last inch of him. His cock twitches, and his whole body goes rigid as his orgasm hits him.
He doesn't make a sound as he comes, his lips parting and his mouth opening in a silent cry. His hips jerk, his movements stuttering and uneven, and you feel the bloom of warmth as he fills you, his release spilling out of you, dripping down his cock.
Finally, he slumps forward, his head dropping to rest on your shoulder. You wrap your arms around him, pulling him close, and he lets out a low, satisfied hum.
You can't stop the stupid grin that spreads across your face.
Tech is nuzzling at your neck, and you can feel him smiling, too, his lips pressed against your skin.
You're not sure how long the two of you stay like that, wrapped in each other's arms, breathing hard and basking in the afterglow. It feels like hours, but it's probably only a few minutes.
Tech pulls back, and you look up at him. He's gazing down at you, his expression soft and content. His goggles are crooked, and his hair is mussed, and his lips are swollen and red. You reach up, smoothing his hair down and straightening his goggles.
"Well," he starts, his tone dry despite his ragged breathing, "this has been a most enlightening day."
You burst out laughing, and he smirks, his nose bumping against yours.
"Nothing like a bit of field research to broaden the horizons," you tease.
"Indeed," he chuckles, his hand cupping your cheek.
You smile at him, and he smiles back, and the moment is so tender, so sweet, and you can't help but kiss him again. It's slow and lazy, and he sighs against your lips, his mouth warm and inviting. You could kiss him forever, and never get tired of it.
Finally, he pulls away, and you reluctantly let him go.
"I must admit," he says, his tone light, "that was far more satisfying than I'd imagined."
"Oh, you imagined it, did you?" you ask, and he smirks, a faint flush creeping across his cheeks.
"Perhaps once or twice," he confesses.
"Just once or twice?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.
"Perhaps more," he amends, and the admission sends a thrill through you. “Though I had not anticipated anything quite so vigorous."
"I didn't know you had it in you," you tease. "I never would have guessed that you were such a deviant."
"Evidently you bring out a certain side of me," he replies. "One that I had not been aware of until today."
"Well, I'm happy to explore more sides of you, if you'd like," you murmur, and Tech hums.
"I would enjoy that.”
His lips brush against yours, and the kiss is soft and sweet, and your heart swells.
"But," he says, breaking the kiss and looking down at the floor.
You follow his gaze, and you both wince. Your pants are lying in a pile on the floor, along with your shirt, and Tech's codpiece and gloves. There are a few pieces of cleaning supplies strewn about, and your boots are on opposite ends of the closet. Tech's belt is laying on the ground, his pouches spilling out and his blasters resting haphazardly on the floor.
"We need to clean this up," he mutters.
"Yeah," you agree.
Neither of you move. You stay where you are, clinging to each other, and savoring the moment. It's not going to last forever, and you both know it.
Once the two of you step out of this closet, things will change. Everything will change. But you can't find it in yourself to regret anything. Not the teasing, or the flirting, or the banter, or the argument, or the frantic, desperate sex. None of it.
And from the way Tech is looking at you, with a mixture of tenderness and awe and fondness, you know that he doesn't, either.
Eventually, though, Tech is the one to pull away. You both groan as he slides out of you, and the sound echoes through the tiny room. He sets you down gently, and your legs shake as you try to find your footing.
"Are you alright?" he asks, his eyes roaming over you, concern written all over his face.
"Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little…" you trail off as you glance down at yourself, taking in the sight of your bare thighs and the streaks of white that are slowly dribbling down them. "Uh, sticky."
"Yes," he agrees, his eyes glued to the mess between your legs. You watch his tongue flick out to lick his lips, and the hunger in his gaze is enough to make you blush.
"What?" you ask, and he blinks, seeming to snap out of his trance.
He flushes and looks away. "Nothing," he mutters, pulling his blacks up over his cock.
"Tech, come on," you say, a grin tugging at the corner of your mouth.
"I must admit the sight of you like this is rather... enticing," he says, his tone nonchalant. He's not looking at you, and he's pretending to straighten his armor, but you can see the pink flush on the back of his neck and the tips of his ears.
"Yeah?" you question, and his eyes flick up to meet yours.
"Yes," he murmurs, and the look he gives you makes your knees weak.
"Good to know,” you breathe. He raises an eyebrow at you, and you can't stop the grin that spreads across your face.
Tech shakes his head and picks up his belt, fastening it around his waist. He begins stuffing his pockets, and you watch him, amused. He's always so proper, so put together, and to see him like this, all riled up and horny, is an incredible sight.
"Are you just going to stand there?" he asks, eyeing you, and you grin.
"Maybe," you tease, and he rolls his eyes.
"I will leave you here."
"Sure, you will."
"I will," he insists, but the look in his eyes gives him away.
"Okay, okay," you chuckle. You grab a cloth and wipe off the worst of the mess, and Tech hands you your pants and underwear. You pull them on, wincing at the damp fabric, and Tech holds out your shirt.
"Thank you," you say, and he nods.
"Of course."
You take the shirt from him, and your fingers brush against his. His touch sends a shiver through you, and you can't resist the urge to lean forward and press a kiss to his cheek.
Tech stiffens, surprised by the gesture, but you see the corners of his lips quirk up in a smile.
"Now what was that for?" he asks, and you shrug.
"Do I need a reason?"
"I suppose not," he admits, a faint blush staining his cheeks.
You can't stop the smile that spreads across your face, and neither can he. You finish getting dressed, and the two of you straighten up as best you can. Tech smooths down his hair and adjusts his armor, and you wipe the smudges off his goggles with the cloth in his belt. He helps you button your shirt and tuck your hair back into place, and he looks like he's enjoying himself.
You have a sneaking suspicion that he likes undressing you, and putting you back together again.
When he finishes, he presses a kiss to your forehead, and his lips linger on your skin.
"Thank you.”
"For what?" you ask, confused.
"For helping me see the value of a little spontaneity.” Tech gives you a small smile, and his eyes are warm. "I may have been...wrong, about today. It's been an illuminating experience, and I'm grateful for it."
The rush of affection you feel for him catches you off guard. He's such a dork, and he's so sincere, and the way he's looking at you makes your heart flutter.
You reach up and cup his face in your hands, pulling him down for a quick kiss. He lets out a startled sound, but he kisses you back, his lips gentle and warm.
"Who would've thought," you murmur as you pull away. "You have a healthy psyche after all."
Tech scoffs. "I told you—"
A shout echoes down the corridor, and the two of you freeze.
"They've gotta be around here somewhere," a voice calls.
"Shit," you whisper.
"Time to go," Tech replies, and the two of you burst into motion. You both dart to the door, and Tech cracks it open, peeking out.
"Ready?" he asks, and you nod, your cheeks still pink.
He pushes the door open, and you dash out. Tech's fingers curl around yours, and you follow him as he leads the way. Your feet slap against the floor, and your breath is coming in short, harsh gasps. Tech's hand is hot in yours, his grip firm, and his thumb rubs comforting circles into your palm.
You don't even bother trying to remember where you're going. You just follow him, trusting him to lead you to safety. You can hear the voices of the troopers echoing behind you, and their footsteps are growing louder.
"There!" a voice shouts, and Tech curses under his breath.
He tugs on your hand, pulling you around a corner. The two of you are sprinting now, and you're panting, and your heart is pounding. A bubble of laughter escapes your lips, and Tech shoots you a look, but the corners of his mouth are turned up in a smile.
"This is insane," he mutters, and you grin.
"It's fun," you correct.
"This is the last time I ever listen to one of your ideas.”
"We both know that's not true."
"Unbelievable," he sighs, shaking his head.
"I'm just saying," you argue, "we both enjoyed ourselves, didn't we?"
"Yes," he admits reluctantly. He suddenly pulls you to the left, ducking down a side corridor. "But next time, I choose the location."
"Next time, huh?"
"Yes, next time," he huffs.
Tech pulls you through another doorway, and the two of you race down a flight of stairs, then another, until you reach the ground floor. You can see the entrance up ahead, and you muster the last of your strength, putting everything you have into one final burst of speed.
The doors slide open, and the evening light streams in, bathing you both in its warm glow. Tech's fingers are still laced with yours, and he doesn't let go, not even as the two of you burst out of the building and onto the streets.
Tech tugs you to the right, and you follow, his hand warm and firm in yours. You can still hear the shouts of the Corries behind you, but they're getting fainter. You're both out of breath, and your hearts are racing, but the excitement is intoxicating.
Tech finally slows to a walk, and he glances over his shoulder, checking for any pursuers. He doesn't let go of your hand.
"That was certainly a memorable excursion," he remarks.
"Told you it would be fun," you grin.
"Yes, yes, you were right, and I was wrong," he concedes with a long-suffering sigh.
"Never gets old, hearing you say that."
"I can tell," he grumbles, but there's a smile playing on his lips.
The two of you continue on, your steps slow and leisurely, and the streets are quiet around you. It's later than you thought it would be, and there's no doubt the others are wondering where the two of you are. But you can't find it in yourself to care. Not when Tech is looking at you like that.
"So," you start, and Tech raises an eyebrow. "What do we do now?"
"Well," he replies, his voice taking on a thoughtful tone. "I suppose we should head back to the ship."
"Right. Of course." You try your best to keep the disappointment from your voice, but the way you deflate must give it away. Tech glances at you, his expression inscrutable, but there's a hint of a smirk on his lips.
"And then," he continues, his hand tightening around yours, "I'm going to need some help with the power couplings."
You blink and look up at him. His eyes are twinkling, and the corners of his mouth are turned up in a small smile.
"Oh, do you?" you ask, a smile tugging at the corner of your own mouth.
"Yes," he replies. He lets go of your hand and places his palm against your back, his thumb stroking your spine. "I'm afraid I need someone to help test them. Someone with a very discerning eye."
"I see," you murmur, biting your lip to keep from smiling. "I guess I could help."
He slows to a stop, and turns to face you. The evening sun is setting, and the light is catching in his dark brown eyes, making them glow golden. His hand is still on your back, and he pulls you closer, until the two of you are nearly touching.
His free hand tilts your chin up. "I'd appreciate it."
"And maybe after," you continue, a mischievous glint in your eye, "we could test the other parts of the ship."
"That's an excellent idea," Tech replies, and his fingers tighten in the fabric of your shirt. "We will need to make sure we are thorough. It wouldn't do to leave any part of the ship untested."
"No," you agree, a grin spreading across your face. "It would be irresponsible."
"Precisely."
Tech meets you halfway, capturing your lips in a heated kiss. Your hands find his neck, and he pulls you closer, his arms wrapping around you. You can't stop the sigh that escapes you, and he swallows it, his mouth slanting over yours.
He breaks the kiss, and he's smiling, his cheeks flushed. Your hand comes up to cup his cheek, and his eyes flutter shut, his head tilting into your touch.
"So," you start, your thumb stroking his skin, "shall we head back to the ship?"
"After you, darling," he replies, his voice low. He presses one more kiss to your lips, and then he's stepping back, offering his arm.
You reach out to take it, and then you pause, considering. Your fingers drift over his bicep, and you look up at him, your eyes sparkling.
"Race you," you say, and then you take off, your footsteps echoing down the street.
Tech stares after you for a moment, before he shakes his head, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Infuriating," he mutters, and he sets off after you.
The two of you run, chasing each other through the streets of Coruscant, and the air is filled with your laughter. It's a beautiful night, and the city is alight with the glow of the sunset. There's a breeze blowing, and it rustles your hair, and the scent of flowers is in the air.
And there's a warm feeling in your chest, something bright and light and free, and you can't stop laughing.
It's impulsive, and foolish, and everything Tech would normally hate. But it's perfect, and as he chases after you, the smile on his face only widens.
Maybe there's something to be said for spontaneity, after all.
Taglist: @baddest-batchers @covert1ntrovert @stellarbit @bruh-myguy-what @qvnthesia
@spicy-clones @kindalonleystars @cw80831 @totallyunidentified @heidnspeak
@lovelytech9902 @frozenreptile @chocolatewastelandtriumph @etod @puppetscenario
@umekohiganbana @resistantecho @dindjarins1ut @tech-aficionado @aynavaano
@burningnerdchild @ihatesaaand @lolwey @hobbititties @mere-bear
@thegreatpipster @lordofthenerds97 @tentakelspektakel @notslaybabes @mali-777
@schrodingersraven @megmegalodondon @dangraccoon @dreamie411 @sukithebean
@bimboshaggy @anything-forourmoony @9902sgirl @jedi-dreea @salaminus
@ghostymarni @gottalovehistory @burningnerdchild
#tech x reader#tbb tech#tbb tech x reader#the bad batch#tbb x reader#the bad batch x reader#clone x reader#roy writes#well i finally did it#here it is#if you see any mistakes no you didn't!#also thinking of doing some sort of celebration for 500 followers#maybe i'll do a prompt list or something#i need some fresh ideas
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TEACHER/STUDENT BOOK RECS
*if you want me to add a forbidden romance list, let me know*
𓃠 This is a list with links to books that have teacher/student, age gap, and experienced/less experienced themes that I have read! These are in order from most recommended to least recommended based on my opinion.
𓃠 This will be updated as I read more! Think something should be added to the list, then let me know!
𓃠 To find the Age Gap/TeacherxStudent Movie list, click on the link on my pinned post!
⭐️= highly recommend/changed my life
😇= no smut
🌶️=contains smut
💦=read to really get your rocks off
highlighted=warning
PROFESSOR/COACH BOOK LIST
The Unrequited by Saffron A. Kent-⭐️😇
ProfessorxStudent & mental health themes
Cute little poet embarrassingly falls for her grumpy professor. Beautiful slow burn and perfectly describes what it feels like to want someone and not feel enough for them. She is such a realistic female lead and reminds me a lot of y’all 😂. This is THE teacher crush community book. If you don’t read anything read this!!
The Professor by Invi Wright-⭐️🌶️
ProfessorxStudent
Cute romance by young, new, and self published author. Very relatable female lead. If you enjoyed The Unrequited, you will like this book for all of the same reasons. Quick and easy read, only 240. She isn’t perfect, she clumsy, and I wouldn’t even say she’s socially awkward, she just a normal college student in her early 20s. She’s a fun narrator. This author has a lot of potential and her writing will only get better.
Gabriel’s Inferno by Slyvain Reynard-⭐️😇
ProfessorxStudent
Such a good dark academia book. Beautifully written and actually has a movie adaptation. I would definitely recommend this if you want a realistic couple but a bit more serious. Characters have so much depth
Off Balance Series by Lucia Franco- 💦
CoachxStudent
Warning: female lead is age of consent NOT legal age.
If you want something really forbidden and fucked up, read this. If you want the MOST insane sex scenes, read this (MINORS STOP). I really don’t even want to add this series to this list but for the girls who wanna go there, have fun. I started this when I was still in high school, read the 3rd one as an adult, it’s not as easy to read now. Take that info as you please
Lessons In Sin by Pam Goodwin-🌶️
TeacherxStudent with 18 Y.O female lead
Troubled rich girl gets sent off to a catholic boarding school and falls for the asshole Dean of the school. Smut is pretty good, plot works. I’m not going to say it’s bad, I think whether or not it’s enjoyable depends on the person. It wasn’t bad, I just wasn’t obsessed. If you’re just trying to live vicariously through her (aren’t we all), then it works!
Teach Me by L. L. Ash-🌶️
ProfessorxStudent
Really good start, and I do mean GREAT start… I just feel like the sex scene came too soon (Ch. 9/32) and it threw me off but I also like SUPER slow burns. It’s still a good book. I enjoyed the male love interest, Professor Harlo. They’re cute together. Grump and Sunshine.
Dark Notes by Pam Goodwin-
TeacherxStudent & themes of abuse
Probably DNF-ing
AGE GAP BOOK LIST
Something In The Way Series by Jessica Hawkins-⭐️😇
Sister’s Boyfriend/Husband & “I saw him first”
Most beautiful romance series I’ve ever read, best written books by Jessica Hawkins. I recommend all of her other books. Lake is 16 when she first meets Manning but nothing sexual happens between them for another 3 books until she’s in her 20s. Beautiful slow burn with characters full of depth.
Sinner by Sierra Simone- ⭐️💦
Brother’s Best Friend & religious themes
Amazing character creation and mapping. These characters feel real! This book is about “teaching” a girl about sex before she becomes a nun. It’s not just a bang bang, hump hump book. It has heart and it really good. If you enjoy religious themed romance, you may enjoy Priest by Sierra Simone too. I didn’t 💀
Birthday Girl by Penelope Douglas- 💦
Ex’s Dad
Most popular forbidden romance so whatever you’ve heard about it, dump it. This might be the most tame book on this list. Pacing is good, well written main character. Insane amounts of smut but it doesn’t drive the story forward so feel free to skip it if you get tired.
Love Unexpected by Q. B. Tyler- 💦
Ex Stepdad & parent death
This book is HOT! However after the first few scenes, I got a bit tired of the smut. Well written enough female lead with a rushed ending. However if you just need something to read and not despise it, it’s good enough.
Strictly Off Limits by Jessica Hawkins-🌶️
Dad’s Best Friend
Jessica is my favorite author so I’m a bit biased but she definitely isn’t a smut writer. This novella would’ve been better without smut however it isn’t super present and doesn’t really drive the story forward so don’t feel like you’re missing anything if you skip the smut!
The Doctor by Nikki Sloane- 💦
Ex’s Dad
personally didn’t care for this book, smut starts off way too quick and I’m more of a slow burn girl. It is a novella however, it was still too quick. However! You may love it <3
𓃠 If I’m not reading fast enough for you and you want to see what I will be reading in the future here is my Amazon TBR, have at it!
𓃠 If you want to see a more organized bookshelf of what I’ve read, here is my Goodreads!
#male teacher crush#teacher crush community#teacher crush#tc feelings#tc thoughts#tc community#male tc#tc crush#tc update#female teacher crush#female tc#male teacher x female student#teacher crush imagine#teacher crush blog#teacher attachment#teacher love#teacher x student#teachers pet#student x teacher#teacher crush tik tok#romance#forbidden love#forbidden romance#forbidden romance book#romance books#book reccs#teacher crush book#bookblr#book review#book recommendations
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spiritual lessons i learned before turning 20
it was exactly january 1st, 2021, when i began my self-development journey. i think most of us experienced some unpleasant things in 2020. that year led me to my spiritual path and taught me many things about loving myself. i spent my whole year by myself, meditating, reading books, and practicing conscious manifesting. these things brought out the best in me and guided me on how i perceive the world and life in a better way.
1. don't try to fit in. after all, you are not here to stay.
in my high school days, i always wanted to fit in because it was so hard for me to make friends while observing my other classmates; it was so effortless for them. i wanted to have that friend group, so i tried to fit in by doing what they were doing so i could be acceptable to them.
it was so unhealthy to dislike other people, judge them behind their backs, and waste each other's time. i became someone i am not. i eventually left them because i realized, "if these people i am with can speak negatively about others behind their backs, what makes me think that they are not going to do that to me as well?"
we all want to feel like we belong, but being someone you are not is not the way to feel like you belong. isn't it exhausting always trying to fit in to feel like you belong?
you are supposed to stand out. you are supposed to have your own personality and embrace your qualities. after you love yourself enough and embrace yourself, the right people will come to you, and you will not feel like you are trying to fit in. our life is too short to spend trying to fit in; we might as well look within and be who we are meant to be.
2. don't follow the crowd they are also lost.
it is almost the same as the first one, but this one concerns following society or social norms. we are taught to do one thing because it is more acceptable than the other. who is accepting it? did they say something when they accepted it? are they proud because we followed them?
i thought i had always wanted to be a flight attendant, so i took a tourism degree. where does that thought come from? it was from my family; growing up, they mentioned that i should either be in hospitality or take a tourism degree. i wanted them to be proud of me, so i took that degree, thinking it was my dream.
while i decided to choose that, i didn't consider any other degree because i thought i wanted that for myself. i was not aware. this is the first thing i learned in 2021: to choose the life i want for myself; unapologetically, i am now following the path i am supposed to take while in college.
there is always something in our hearts that we want to do. follow that even if you think it is ridiculous. follow that, even if other people think it is ridiculous. just because you do something different doesn't mean you are crazy. i mean, the world is crazy enough, and following the crowd without awareness is one of them.
3. when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
everything is perception. the meaning you give to everything in your life becomes your reality. and if we think about it, this is a life-changing lesson. the way you look at things determines whether you are going to be mad, happy, sad, or envious. our eyes don't see; our eyes are the only tool our mind uses. and our mind will determine what perception it is that we have.
do you believe that people are kind and friendly or out to get you? whatever you choose, that is what you will create for yourself.
it is about changing your attitude towards situations that did not come your way. change how you look at things in a way that will serve you better so that what is outside of you doesn't control what you feel.
it doesn't mean that if you change your perception, the situation will change as well; it will not, but it will change how you see it. it is how we see things that make us live better. it is inside what we need to change to see life in a beautiful way to create a beautiful life we will love to look at.
remember, where we focus our energy, it will expand. it is nice to develop positivity and love just by focusing on it. i don't mean to have toxic positivity. of course, not every day is love and light; we can dwell on it, but we also have to know when to stop.
4. don't take it personally.
i have learned this the hard way, and i am still learning. other people might say something about us, but it is not about us; what they say is more about them. when somebody calls me "dumb, ugly, stupid, weak, worthless," it is not about me; it is about them.
tell me, what kind of person will say that to another person if they are mentally sane? maybe they are having a bad day and decided to put that on me; perhaps they feel that inside and put that on me (without being aware); it is never about us.
the same goes for someone who calls you "beautiful, nice, amazing"; do you think a person will tell you that if they don't already see that in themselves?
hurt people hurt people, and healed people heal people.
but whenever you are being judged and criticized negatively, remember that a person who is love and light will spread love and light. try not to get upset with people. what they say or what they do is powerless without your reaction. if we get frustrated, we take their trash and make it our own. how can we see life better if our environment controls our thoughts and feelings?
5. introspective work is the most important thing to do.
we are the only ones in our inner world; why not make it a safe space for us? try filling it with love, positive thoughts, and kindness. our inner world reflects our outer world.
you see, if you feel good, you do good and smile at the world. but when we are feeling negative, especially mad, we sometimes put that on other people. if we feel envious, resentful, anxious, or depressed, these are things that we should work on inside, not outside.
we cannot control what is outside; the environment, the situation, and the turbulence on our journey are beyond our control. what we can only control is what is inside.
everything starts within. even in manifesting, we don't look at our reality and ask, "where is it? where is my manifestation?" we see that in our minds first before it comes to fruition. we believe and feel that we already have it; we even fix our self-concept to align with the vibration of what we want before it manifests in our reality. all these things come from our inner world.
do much reflection on how you speak to yourself in your mind, and be aware if it is kind or tormenting you. suppose you think that the outer world is quite harsh. in that case, people are being unkind, or you feel negative about life, turn to your inner world; maybe you are neglecting something inside of you that needs the most attention and introspection. 𓍯 entryfromsane003 (extracted from the old blog two years ago)
#spiritual awakening#consciousness#law of assumption#divine feminine#self help#self concept#loa#loablr#affirm and persist#neville goddard#reality shifting#desired reality#bashar#manifestation#manifesting#law of attraction#shifting#glow up#that girl#high value woman#self worth#adulting
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Lessons of Love
Summary: So, Nerd!Natasha and Fem!R, their first date and everything fluffy. I just have a lot of thoughts about them and maybe this will be a series (and it will eventually contain G!P Natasha so if that's not your thing, you've been warned). Nerd!Natasha x Fem!Rogers Reader
Don’t count the days, make the days count.
Natasha’s father had told her that as if it was ancient wisdom and not a fortune cookie message.
It was also easier to say it when you didn’t have to attend high school. There were days when she couldn’t cope with it, like when the football team was agitated before a match, or there was some drama around the most popular people in school.
Those times were a stark reminder that Natasha had no one to talk to, a confidant to mock the jocks or a friend to share the gossip with.
Genius comes with a cost.
That one was her mom’s way of comforting Natasha.
She was the smartest person in school, miles above her peers. What she didn’t have in social intelligence, she more than made up with a sharp, quick and brilliant mind.
But as she entered the chem lab, and took a seat at the last table where she was always alone, Natasha wished that things could be different.
If only for a day.
“Morning, everyone” professor Fury greeted as people went to their seats. “You might have heard about an explosion during class” the few giggles that were heard were quickly silenced by Fury’s glare. “So, to keep this from happening again, we’ll switch the teams for the rest of the semester”
Natasha’s heart raced. What if people could choose and then she’d end up front of the class, everyone staring because no one picked her?
“So, alphabetically” Fury read the list, Natasha going over the name that was before hers…
Rogers.
She looked at you, sitting next to Wanda on one of the first tables. You waved at the twins when their names were called, laughing at Wanda’s annoyed stare. Being paired with her brother meant she’d do most of the work while he fooled around.
“Rogers and Romanoff”
Natasha saw you gathering your things and looking around. When you found her, a smile broke out and you walked to join her in the back of the room.
How does one greet the most popular girl in school? Head of cheerleaders, little sister of legendary quarterback Steve Rogers, not to mention the most beautiful girl in all of Shield High.
Not that Natasha was paying attention.
“Hey, Natty” you greeted, sitting next to her and looking around. “Wow, you can really see everything from here”
“I-I guess”
Natasha wanted to crawl under the table and hide. What was she supposed to talk about?
“Guess it’s my lucky day” you said, unable to deal with the silence. Natasha had a hard time understanding if you were being sarcastic. “I mean, you’re the capitan of the Science Club. So, that makes you the best partner anyone could hope for in Chemistry”
Natasha didn’t have time to answer, as Fury finally started with the lesson. Once he gave you all the instructions and wrote some exercises on the board, everyone went silent. Of course, Natasha was done in half the time.
“Show off” you teased and felt your heart beating faster when Natasha actually laughed.
“Want help?” she offered and you went over your notes, nodding.
“I think I got most of them except… this one?” you pointed with your pencil. Natasha leaned, reading again and pulling her chair closer to yours.
“You see, when you choose a coefficient, try to select one as low as possible”
“And that would affect all of the atoms in the molecule” you said and Natasha nodded. “Ok, I think I got it”
But the redhead kept staring as you began to write again, and you poked her side.
“Stop it, Romanoff”
You went back to work, missing the way Natasha blushed at the physical contact.
“Good. Now, I want you to get to know each other even better, so you’ll do a project for next class. Do not sass me, youths” Fury raised his voice as everyone began to protest.
“We’ve known each other our whole lives, can we skip this one?” Pietro said while pointing to his sister, and everyone laughed.
“No” Fury said, turning to write on the board again. “Do some research on why it’s important to balance chemical equations and what other parts of chemistry rely on this skill. Bonus points for concrete examples where it helped advance important research on other fields”
He dismissed the class, and everyone began to pack their bags to move to the next session.
“So… uh… how do you wanna do this? Wanna meet somewhere?” Natasha said, unfamiliar with team projects. Teachers would let her work alone, because pairing her with someone meant she’d do all the work and split the credit.
“Yeah, not my place though. The boys have their weekly pool game after football practice and they can get so loud” you rolled your eyes, walking out of the classroom next to the girl.
Natasha’s stomach turned at the idea of being anywhere near the school jocks.
“So, the school library?” you offered, giving her a way out in case her house was off limits.
“I think my mom has more books about it than the library”
Damn it, where did that come from? She couldn’t handle a class with you and now she was suggesting her place? Where would you even work? And Melina would make some embarrassing remark, or Alexei would ask a million questions and say something silly…
“Yeah, cool. I’ll stop by after cheerleading practice”
“Let me give you the address”
“Natty, I know where you live” you chuckled, surprised that she seemed surprised. “Remember your birthday party? I was there”
“That was like seven years ago”
“Yeah, so? I remember” you smiled. “Gotta run, see you later”
Natasha stared as you walked to History class. You turned around one last time, smiling shyly and waving at her.
Natasha waved back, her cheeks turning red at being caught staring.
Crap, she wasn’t going to survive this assignment.
—
You went up the steps, fixing your hair before ringing the doorbell.
God, how were you going to manage this afternoon with Natasha? You were barely able to keep it together during class.
You were still torn on how to manage your fight or flight response when the door opened.
“Y/N!” Natasha’s sister practically shouted your name.
“Hey, Yelena. I’m here to…”
“You know my name” the girl said.
“Well, yeah, you’re Nat’s sister”
Speak of the devil.
“Yelena!” Natasha went down the stairs in record time.
“What?” Yelena said, talking back as soon as Natasha switched to Russian. They went back and forth for a while, and you stood outside, wondering if you’d ever manage to get in.
“Sorry about that” Nat finally turned to you, Yelena leaving the room in a rush.
“No worries. I couldn’t understand you. Literally”
“My room’s this way” Natasha said, scratching the back of her neck.
A second later, she regretted letting you go up the stairs first. Your skirt moved with each step you took, toned legs in full display. Natasha had to pray she wouldn’t trip on the way up.
“Which door?” you turned to look at her, her ears red. You bit your lip, trying not to think how adorable she looked all flustered.
“The one on the right” she pointed and you nodded, waiting for her to tell you it was ok to open it.
“Wow” you said, looking around at the shelves full of books and scale models of different machines.
“You can take the chair if you want” Natasha offered her desk, and you were so busy reading the titles of the books you almost didn’t hear her.
“Oh, that’s ok. I can sit on the bed” you said, placing your backpack in the corner. You pulled out your laptop and opened a new tab. “I was thinking we can get all the info we need, and then decide how to organize it. I’ll write a draft and you can review it”
It was Natasha’s turn to be distracted, appreciating the way you leaned against her headboard, stretching your arms above your head.
“I-I got some books from my mom’s study. Let me find the right one…” she sat on the floor and you laid on your stomach, your heads at the same height as you looked over her shoulder.
Natasha began reading and taking notes, while you reviewed some articles on your laptop.
“Ready”
“Ok” you said, changing to sit next to her on the floor. Natasha felt your shoulder against her arm, and your sweet parfume invaded her senses.
You always smelled good. And looked so pretty. It was hard to focus but she managed just enough to dictate some of the things she’d found useful.
“You don’t have to write this down, but let me know if you think any of it is interesting for the paper” she said, and you really wanted to pay attention, but your eyes kept drifting to her lips. “Y/N?”
“Huh?”
“Sorry, I’m boring you” Natasha said, closing the book and looking dejected. She was about to put it away when you reached for her hand, sitting up.
“Now hold on. You weren’t boring me”
“It’s ok”
“Nat, look at me” you asked. The redhead seemed to forget you had moved closer when you reached for her hand, and when she turned to look at you, you were inches apart.
“I…”
Was she looking at your lips? Were you leaning forward? Did she want this?
You didn’t have time to find out, as the door to Natasha’s room opened and you jumped back.
“Oh! Yelena was telling the truth”
“Hi, Mrs. Romanoff” you greeted, hoping she didn’t notice your cheeks turning pink.
“Y/N, it’s so good to see you. Why are you sitting on the floor? Natalia, where are your manners?”
“Mom”
“No, that’s ok. I prefer the floor. Your hydrengias are looking spectacular, by the way” you tried to change the subject.
“Thanks to you! You were right about the change of place. Oh, I should have sent you a plate of cookies, you helped me with it and I didn’t even thank you”
“That’s ok, Mrs. Romanoff”
“Well if you want to stay for dinner, you’re more than welcomed” Melina turned to her daughter, with a more serious demeanor. “And you, remember to put those books right where they belong. I have a very particular system”
“Yes, Ma’am”
“So…”
“I…”
You both spoke at the same time.
“Sorry” you tried to breathe, putting a strand of hair behind your ear. “You were saying?”
“I didn’t know you spoke to my mom about flowers?”
“Oh, that” you blushed and Natasha bit her lip, drinking in every word you said. “Yeah, Mom and I ran into her at the farmer’s market. They were talking about plants and we gave her some tips. That’s how we spend quality time, working on the garden”
Natasha nodded, but you still stared at her.
“Can I ask you something?” you said, looking at her lips. Natasha swallowed and nodded. “I… uh… why was Yelena acting weird when she saw me?”
That’s not what you meant to ask, but you had lost your courage.
“Oh…” the redhead looked disappointed. Or were you imagining things? “She’s obsessed with joining the cheerleading squad, and you being the President…”
“I’m not, anymore” you blurted out, surprising even yourself. “I mean, I’m still on the team… but I thought Pepper would do a better job”
“But they won the Nationals last year because of you” Natasha protested, and you were taken aback by her sudden rage. “There’s no one better than you”
“That’s really sweet, Nat” you placed your hand on hers. “But it’s for the best. Trust me. I’ll have more time to focus on the school paper or… I don’t know, dating?”
“I guess you could do that…” Natasha said, looking at your hands. For the second time in the day, your eyes found hers and then traveled to those beautiful lips.
“Y/N!”
Bucky shouted from the door. Damn it.
“My ride’s here” you said, disappointed. Natasha nodded, standing up and offering her hand to help you up. You took it, surprised at her strength.
A gasp left your lips when you were face to face, inches away from her lips. All you had to do was step forward and stand on your toes…
“Y/N/N” Bucky insisted and you had to control the urge to tell him to go to hell.
“Sorry. I have enough notes to write something. Can I text you once it’s done?”
“Sure, let me give you my number”
“I already have it…” you blurted out, trying to hide your face.
“How?”
Now, this time you were grateful for Bucky’s insistence.
“Coming, Buck! See you later?”
“Yeah. I’ll walk you out”
You nodded, allowing Natasha to lead you to the front door. Her father, coach Romanoff, was chatting with Bucky at the door.
“Good practice today” Alexei said and Bucky nodded.
“Thanks, coach” he then turned to you, offering his hand to get your bag. “Ready to go, doll?”
“Yeah. Thanks for having me, Nat. Say bye to your mom and Yelena for me?”
“Sure”
An uncomfortable feeling took over Natasha as you walked next to Bucky, watching him take your bag and carry it for you. You laughed at something he said while he opened the car door for you and then drove away.
“They make a cute couple, don’t they?” Alexei said, but Natasha shrugged her shoulders and went back to her room, almost knocking Melina over on the way up the stairs. “Did I say something wrong?”
—
Natasha felt weird doing it, but she couldn’t help herself.
She only opened an Instagram account to watch cool science videos. But she knew your username because Yelena followed you and now, she was acting like a creep, looking at your profile.
In search of what? She wasn’t sure. Maybe proof that you were dating Barnes.
“Hey” Yelena walked into her room and Natasha dropped her phone. “Ew, were you watching porn?”
“What? No! What do you want?” Natasha said, the blush in her cheeks only making her seem guilty.
“Well, just wanted to ask you if Y/N mentioned anything about this year’s tryouts?”
“No, we didn’t really talk about… that”
Natasha didn’t mention the conversation you had about stepping down as president. She had a feeling that was private.
“Ok, go back to watching porn” Yelena said, closing the door before Natasha could throw a pillow her way.
Then, her phone pinged and Natasha looked at it as if it was a cursed object.
Unknown number: Hey, Nat. I have a draft ready. Lmk if I can send it to you
Natasha: Hi. Sure thing, I’m not doing anything
Damn it, way to be a loser, Natasha.
She didn’t even wait a few minutes to reply.
Y/N: Ok, should be on your email now.
Natasha: Thnx, reading now.
Y/N: Gotta get ready for dinner. It was nice seeing you today.
Y/N: Outside of school, I mean.
Y/N: So… yeah. Anyway. I’m being weird, haha. Talk soon.
Y/N: XO
Natasha’s heartbeat sped up with every new text. She caught herself reading them over and over again.
She didn’t have time to worry about what to reply, because her mother came knocking.
“Dinner’s ready. You can take your time… Yelena told me you were busy.”
“Oh, my GOD!” Natasha jumped out of bed, opening the door. “I am not… watching porn!”
“She said you were stalking Y/N’s instagram” Melina said, turning to find her youngest daughter holding a laugh.
“сука” Natasha screamed, running after her.
“Papa, help!” Yelena screeched, going down the stairs.
“Language! And no running inside the house!”
Melina sighed. With the way Natasha was looking at you today, she had a feeling that parenting was going to be even more complicated now.
--
Throughout the week, you never left Natasha’s mind. It was a strange feeling. She’d never dwelled on social interactions that much, thinking it wasn’t worth her time.
But still, when Friday came, she was excited because you shared English class as well.
And there you were, leaning against the door, speaking to Barnes. Again. Natasha sighed, trying to ignore the heavy feeling in her stomach at the way you laughed with him, smacking his arm playfully.
As usual, the redhead kept her head down and went to the last table of the classroom, where she could be left alone. Only, you walked straight to her as soon as Professor Harkness started the lesson.
“Hey” you greeted, sitting next to Natasha.
“H-hi”
“Sorry, do you want me to find another place to sit?” you said, looking around the room.
“No!” Natasha practically shouted, making you flinch. “I’m sorry. No, you can sit here”
You nodded, occupying the chair next to hers. It was going to be a slow day, as Ms. Harkness set up the projector to show a documentary about Patricia Highsmith.
“You have to write a report about this so pay attention” the professor said, taking a seat to start the film.
While the documentary played, your mind kept drifting back to Natasha, sitting a few inches away from you. Truth be told, you had always found her to be beautiful, intriguing… but after spending an afternoon with her, those moments when you touched hands or locked eyes, kept replaying in your head.
Instead of taking notes, you decided to execute a plan that was saved for the next Chemistry lesson. Drawing on a sheet of paper, you created a game of hangman, double checking the number of letters for each of the three words.
Without looking at Natasha, you pushed the sheet her way. She looked at it for a second too long, and then at you. You were beginning to regret the whole thing, and then she underlined the letter T. You smiled, writing on the designated place.
Natasha took her time analyzing the sheet, but by the time the lesson was over, she had guessed some of the letters.
_o_i_ o_ _ _ tur _ _ y ?
The bell rang, and as the lights were turned back on, you looked at her, smiling nervously.
“So… want me to tell you what it says? Or, you can take the sheet and text me if you figure it out?”
God, you sounded so desperate. No wonder Natasha looked at you as if you had grown a second head.
“I’ll take it” she smiled, placing it between her notebook and walking out.
“Actually, Nat…” you went after her. Why not just ask straight away and see what happened?
“Yes?” she said, turning to look at you. Truth be told, she was anxious to get out. Your proximity had distracted her during the entire class. And it only got worse when you slid that sheet her way, and she saw the way you were biting your lip nervously.
She had to force herself to look away from your lips.
“I was thinking, if you’re not too busy…”
“Go on a date with me”
You were both taken aback by the interruption. The words were stolen right out of your mouth by a junior student, Peter Parker. He was staring at Natasha excitedly.
“Never mind” you grumbled, rolling your eyes and walking away.
Natasha flashed an angry glare at Peter, but you were walking down the hallway at record speed.
“What is wrong with you?” Natasha said. Peter was a year younger, but knew the redhead from science club.
“Sorry, it’s just that I… those were the words that came out of my mouth to ask MJ out. MJ! And she said yes!”
“Yeah, start with that next time”
Natasha spotted you across the hall, talking to Thor. Of course.
“I have to go” Natasha pushed the boy aside.
She was so distracted, she never noticed where she was going until she opened the door to the computer room, where Barnes was making out with another senior, Sharon Carter.
“Knock, damn it” Barnes said, but Sharon smacked his arm, looking stern.
“Don’t be a dick, James”
Natasha wanted to call Barnes a lot more than a dick, because who on their right mind would cheat on you? She stared at him a second longer, too angry to even speak, and then turned around, shutting the door behind her.
You deserved so much better than Barnes.
—
Y/N: Were you able to figure it out?
Natasha kept staring at her phone. She hadn’t replied to your message since yesterday and the longer she waited, the worse she felt.
Should she tell you about Barnes? Would you believe her? Or would you call her the worst name in the book and refuse to be in the same class as her?
The girl was pacing around in her room, but of course Yelena chose that moment to play her music at full volume. Natasha let out an exasperated sigh, going to her sister’s room.
“Turn it down!” she yelled from outside, knocking several times to get Yelena’s attention. “Yelena? Your music is too damn…” let the record show she had tried to knock. Natasha walked into Yelena’s room without permission, ready to get into a screaming match with her sister. What she didn’t expect was to see you sitting on her bed, while Yelena showed you different things on her closet.
“I told you it was very loud, Yel” you said, smiling at the girl and then at Natasha, who took a step forward to shut the music down. “Hey, sorry about the noise”
“I don’t recall giving you permission to come in, sestra” Yelena said, examining a t-shirt and her favorite vest. She turned to you. “What about this?”
“Yeah, that’s better. And hair braided, don’t forget that. Pepper and all the other girls love braids. I think the ones Natasha wears sometimes are really… uh, pretty”
You didn’t mean to sound like a creep, but of course you had noticed Natasha’s fiery hair braided from time to time.
“So, since you’re standing there and made me turn off my music” Yelena turned to her sister, showing the outfit. “What do you think? Tryouts are on Monday and Y/N is helping me pick an outfit”
“That one’s nice” Natasha nodded, trying to avoid your stare. She thought she had today and tomorrow to figure out what to do over Barnes. But what if you came to talk to her and she just blurted the whole thing out?
So, she excused herself and thought it would be better to hide in her room. Peace didn’t last long, though.
“Knock!” Natasha grumbled when her sister got in.
“Hey, you didn’t knock either just now. I wanted to ask if you got the tickets for the movie”
“Yes, of course I did”
“Good. I can’t go with you, so you should take Y/N”
“Wait, what?” Natasha hissed, trying to not lose it at Yelena’s ridiculous antics. “You can’t just cancel like that and she probably doesn’t even want to…”
“Ask her”
“What?”
“Ask her. Or if you’re too afraid, I can do it for you. But honestly, Natalia. Just do it. You’re both driving me crazy”
Natasha didn’t know what Yelena meant by that, so she just rolled her eyes and sighed.
“I’ll ask her, I don’t want it to seem like my little sister has to arrange my outings”
“Fine. I’m getting some water, you should do it now. Don’t pass out” Yelena winked, knowing her sister could barely handle social interactions.
Natasha felt her heartbeat strong in her chest, but didn’t wait too long before going back to Yelena’s room. She knew her sister meant it and would absolutely ask you out on Nat’s behalf.
“Hey, Y/N” she walked into the room, door ajar.
“Hey. What’s up? Want to try on outfits with us?” you joked. In spite of her nerves, Natasha smiled.
“I wanted to ask if you wanna go to the movies”
“Really?” you smiled. “What time?”
“It starts in an hour so… we can leave in thirty minutes if it works for you”
“Yeah. Awesome”
You didn’t think about asking which movie or anything else really. The fact Natasha had asked you was all you cared about. The redhead left the room once her sister came back, trying to hide her anxiety. Yelena gave her a knowing look, and kept chatting with you but wasn’t surprised to find you smiling out of nowhere, distracted and constantly checking your watch.
Once it was time to go, Natasha waited downstairs to drive you both to the movies. The ride there was quiet at first, until you reached out for the radio.
“Very cool” you praised when OK Go came on. “Their best music video is for I won’t let you down”
“What? No way! This too shall pass. That Rube Goldberg machine was insane”
“But what about all the extras and the umbrellas? Imagine the coordination it took. I tried to talk the girls into doing it for Nationals but they said I was insane”
Natasha laughed at that, humming along to the song, feeling more relaxed. You also smiled, and enjoyed watching her drive. She looked hot as she held the wheel.
As you were arriving to the theater, you mentioned Barnes and how he always forgot to get the tickets and once again, Natasha’s anxiety came back.
She was quiet as she parked and you both exited the car.
“Wait. I’m sorry. I can’t do this”
“Do what? What’s wrong?” you looked at her, searching her eyes.
“Please don’t hate me” she pleaded.
“Natty, I could never” you shook your head, the term of endearment almost leaving Nat out of breath.
“I saw… Barnes and Sharon Carter kissing in the computer room. I’m sorry”
“Ew. Yeah, they tend to do that anywhere they can. I’m the one who’s sorry you had to see it” you laughed, but the sound died down when Natasha looked at you as if you had grown a second head.
“Aren’t you dating Barnes?” she said, trying to understand everything.
“What? Gross. He’s like my other brother. Slightly less annoying than Steve, that’s for sure”
“You’re serious?” Natasha said, feeling as if a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders.
“I’m very serious and very much single… waiting for a pretty girl to come sweep me off my feet” you said, smiling as Natasha blushed. You took her hand, going inside the theater. “Come on, the movie is starting soon”
You waited in line for the candy store, her hand still in yours. Once it was time to get your stuff, you stood behind her, looking over her shoulder by standing on your toes. Natasha blushed at the contact, your chin resting against her shoulder while you asked the clerk for some chocolate.
“Let me” Natasha said, paying before you could give the man money.
“Chivalry isn’t dead” you said, enjoying how much she was blushing. You smiled, helping her with the soda and finally going inside the room.
“So, what are we watching?”
“It’s this new zombie movie, like found footage”
“Oh, cool” you muttered, feeling the palms of your hands get sweaty.
“Sorry, I didn’t even ask if you were ok with that”
“No, it’s fine. I’m just a bit of a chicken” you laughed, settling in your seat. You hoped Natasha didn’t think you were lame and as the movie started, you really did try to be brave. And then a zombie came jumping through a window and you hid your face behind your hands.
“Hey, it’s ok” Natasha took your hand. “We can leave if you want to”
“No, I’m fine” you said, forgetting about the movie as soon as her hand let go of yours, arm going around your shoulders to comfort you.
No way were you leaving now.
You leaned against her chest, hiding when something scary was about to happen. Natasha held you close, her hand going up and down your back in a soothing manner.
Who knew all it took was some scary zombies to get close to her…
The movie didn’t last as long as you’d have liked, but still, you were happy when she kept holding on to your hand as you left the cinema.
“That was fun” you commented and Natasha let out a laugh. “What?”
“You were hiding half the movie”
“Maybe I liked that part the most” you challenged, pleased when she blushed again. “But next time, we’re watching a rom com or a sci-fi movie.”
“I’d like that” Natasha said and you were looking at her lips when your phone rang. “Want a ride home?”
“I couldn’t possibly ask you to”
“It’s not a problem. Come on” she walked next to you, opening the car door.
“What else do you listen to?” you played with the radio, going from A-Punk, to Keane and Travis. “Really good taste”
“What about you?”
“Anything really. I have like 45 playlists that are completely random. I could send you one if you’d like”
“Yeah, I’d like that” Natasha nodded. You smiled, enjoying the view (and by view you meant Natasha, her fingers tapping against the wheel) for the rest of the ride.
Once you got home, she opened the car door for you again. You didn’t move from your spot next to her, enjoying the proximity.
“Nat?”
“Yes?”
“I like you” you said without a warning, and it was hard to tell who was more embarrassed, you or Nat. “I’m sorry for being so forward but I think I needed you to know. I’m thinking about kissing you and holding your hand and…”
For the first time in her life, Natasha did something without thinking. She pulled you by the waist, connecting her lips to yours. You groaned in surprise, but sighed against her mouth a second later. Your hands went up her neck, to keep her close to you as you moved your lips against hers.
“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself”
“Never apologize for doing that” you smiled, leaning your forehead against her shoulder. Natasha smiled, kissing your temple. “Are you good to drive?”
“Yeah” she nodded.
“Ok. I don’t want you to do it if you’re distracted or something. It could be dangerous, you know?” you rambled and Natasha saw genuine concern behind your words.
“I’ll text you when I’m home, how about that?”
“Yes, please” you sighed with relief. “Be careful. And thank you for today” without being able to help yourself, you stood on your toes and pecked her lips one more time.
Natasha got in the car, smiling as she drove back home. True to her promise, she texted you as soon as she arrived.
She was expecting Yelena to greet her with a million questions, but the girl was back in her room, still listening to music.
Going back to her own room, she found the game of hangman you had done for her, now complete with Yelena’s handwriting.
Natasha was really clueless.
Movie on Saturday?
This whole time, you were asking her out. Natasha took a picture of the paper and sent it to her sister.
Nat: You went through my stuff.
Sestra: Ur welcome.
Natasha would never hear the end of it. Her phone pinged again.
Y/N: Glad you’re home safe.
Y/N: Still thinking about that kiss.
Y/N: So… yeah. When’s our second date?
Coming to think of it, she was happy to pay that price.
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Solar Return Chart Observations 💖
Here are some of my observations and opinions on various placements in the Solar Return Chart
🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇
🪽1st House Pluto / Pluto aspecting the Ascendent can bring immense change that year - especially if you have an Aries or Capricorn rising or Mars/Saturn in the 1st house. Scorpio in the 1st house indicates this as well but less intensely (imo). It may will be a painful process but when you look back on it, it'll be so worth it. If you take away anything from reading about this placement, please let it be to trust the process. Trust the process!!!
🪽Speaking of Pluto; wherever Pluto sits in your SR Chart can indicate where you experience the most change that year - it's where you transform.
🪽Vertex in the SR Chart can show you where fated events will take place; Vertex conjunct Venus in the 5th house can indicate dating someone who teaches you a life lesson or this person could be your soulmate.
🪽Vertex is activated in the SR chart when you meet someone with their Sun, Moon, ASC conjunct your Vertex, aka in the same sign/house. These people come into your life to teach you something. Pay attention to the house placement and aspects to see what the lesson could be.
🪽The worst year of my life was last year (2022). I had my 11th house profection year in Scorpio, traditionally ruled by Mars (modern day Pluto). My Mars in my SR Chart was in the 12th house squaring my Sun, Saturn (22 degree) and my MC. It was in a tight conjunction with Uranus and my North Node and my Moon sign was in 0 degrees. That shit sucked, I wouldn't wish that year on my worst enemy.
🪽12th house placements/signs in the Solar Return Chart can show what people say about you behind your back during the year. Sun in the 12th house squaring Jupiter could mean that people think you're overly confident in your abilities or even egotistical. Venus conjunct ASC in the 12th house could indicate that people talk about how charming and friendly you are. Scorpio ruling the 12th house could have people asking questions about you to others or trying to indirectly get to know you. Looking at aspects with this placement can indicate negative talk (square, opposition), positive talk (trine, sextile) or mixed (conjunction).
🪽12th house placements can also indicate "hidden enemies" or people secretly giving you the evil eye and praying on your downfall. Capricorn Mars in the 12th house can indicate older men or male authority figures (most likely in the workplace) wishing you bad luck that year. Sun in Libra in the 12th house could indicate that your female/feminine friends act fake to your face and talk about you behind your back. Sun here can even mean that you yourself are your own worst enemy. Aries in the 12th house could indicate that the people who dislike you take on Martian traits; can become aggressive, loud, or competitive around you. These people are constantly trying to "one up" you. Pay attention to what house the 12th house lord sits in, it can give you clues for who to watch out for; Lord in 3rd house - your siblings, Lord in 8th house - inlaws, Lord in 11th house - your social group and people in your community.
🪽Venus in the 2nd house in your Solar Return can indicate buying a lot gifts for yourself or having a partner that buys them for you (sugar baby energy). Make up, clothes, jewelry, massages, candles, pajamas, skin care, accessories, and good food can be some of the things you get.
🪽Fire Mars in the 1st house can indicate having more energy, coming across as more aggressive, gaining muscles, starting a workout routine, or obtaining prominent scars on the body.
🪽Water Mars in the 1st house can indicate moodiness, gaining the ability to stick up for oneself, an abundance of creative energy, and wearing your heart (and emotions) on your sleeve.
🪽Earth Mars in the 1st house of the SR Chart can indicate gaining patience that year and learning to take your time. It can give you sustained energy and the ability to complete long term projects/goals.
🪽Air Mars in the 1st house: A lot of mental energy that can manifest as anxiety, a lot of great ideas that could be put into motion, the ability to look at situations from a detached point of view and the ability to multitask.
🪽Moon in the 11th house: You could befriend more females this year or be especially comforted by feminine energies.
🪽Jupiter aspecting ASC - indicates a positive year ahead, Jupiter brings luck and abundance to the person's life. Jupiter here can indicate a positive outlook this year and the native could be presented with great opportunities.
🪽Neptune in the 7th house in the SR Chart can make the native more prone to manipulation. They could be the ones manipulating but most likely it's their partners or someone in their one on one connections. Take off the rose colored glasses. If it feels wrong then its probably wrong.
🪽MC Lord in positive aspect to Sun/Jupiter in the Solar Return Chart can bring positive recognition in the workplace, a raise, or a promotion over the coming year.
🪽Neptune square MC can make an individual unsure about their career. They may have a clouded sense of direction and may realize that they want to do something completely different than what they do now. That, or they could have trouble focusing at work and make careless mistakes as a result.
🪽1st House Lord in the houses can also indicate prominent themes for the year and situations that you'll need to face head on. 1st House Lord in 7th house can make you question how your relationships affect you or it could bring the realization that you need to establish clear boundaries in order to find balance. 1st House Lord in the 10th house can indicate that the native's reputation will be in the spotlight and they will put all their energy into their career for the year. Look at your aspects and assess whether you need to proceed with caution.
🪽Mars harshly aspecting 8th House Lord can indicate accidents that can harm you physically. Be careful around Mars ruled things; knives, power tools, motor vehicles, gym equipment, playing contact sports, etc.
🪽1st House Mercury or Mercury aspecting the ASC can make you more talkative for the year and able to soak up information like a sponge.
🪽Moon in harsh aspect to Mars/Neptune/Jupiter can make it hard to focus on things for the year.
🪽Capricorn Rising in the SR Chart can indicate learning a lot of lessons in the year ahead, be patient with this one because it comes with a lot of blockages which can lead to frustration and impatience.
🪽Saturn/Mars ruled profection years are the hardest to go through in my opinion but they bring the most growth.
🪽Pay attention to where your Chiron is placed in the SR Chart. It can bring up old wounds and traumas that can trigger you and throw you off balance. Chiron in the 1st house: Try to maintain a positive outlook this year, journal your experiences and remind yourself of what you're grateful for. Chiron in the 6th house: Take good care of your health and eat nutritious foods. Try to get along with your coworkers and implement self-care in your daily routines. Chiron in the 11th house: Tell your friends what you appreciate about them, don't take disrespect but pick your battles wisely, donate or volunteer to help those in need.
💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗🐇💗
#solar return#solar return chart#solar return notes#solar return chart observations#astrology#astro observations#astro#astrology community#astro community#profection year#annual profection year#astrology transits#transits
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My 2025 Resolutions List
Pre-New Years Resolutions (Nov/Dec 2024)
MY TIP: I think it’s important to establish pre-new year resolutions to get the momentum going for the new year. The best way to go about it is to look at your NY resolutions first, then see what you can do beforehand to prepare and those would be your Pre-New Years Resolutions
1. Prioritize Health + Fitness: Commit to a consistent fitness routine that enhances my body and confidence. I’m going to achieve this by attending 4-5 fitness sessions per week, stay disciplined with a healthy eating plan (with holiday plate exceptions), and setting physical milestones (like weighing X amount of lbs by 1/1/25)
2. Personal Branding Solid Foundation: Get clear on what personal brand I’d like to create for myself and indulge heavily in content and experiences that embody this ideal image I have for myself. I’ll achieve this by constantly checking in with myself by asking “is this on-brand with who I’d like to become?”
3. Build my Luxury Sales Career: ***For the record, I’m in luxury real estate (I’m licensed in 2 states) and international yacht sales.*** I’d like to grow on social media with my business accounts and reach my accounts to 400,000 across all of my BUSINESS platforms (right now I have a little over 350,000 followers)
2025 New Years Resolutions
1. Keep every promise I make to myself if it’s going to benefit me. I’ll make changes if something better comes along
2. Start taking reformer Pilates on a more regular basis
3. Get my desired hair length without extensions
4. Get back into coed stunting/tumbling (I was a cheerleader all my life and still love it in my 20s)
5. No more blackout nights when I drink (embarrassing but I’m such a lightweight)
6. Get back down to 110-115lbs
7. Start dating again, but dating guys that actually meet my standards and not settling because I’m bored or feeling lonely
8. Make the most $ I’ve ever made annually
9. Start fresh with my personal social media and keep my IG followers to under 10,000 (for those of you who don’t know or are new, my personal TikTok has over 1M followers and my IG is close to 800K). The issue is that I have more male followers than I do women and I want to change my IG to friends/family/acquantances/brands/women. I don’t even get paid all that much on IG anymore but TikTok I do so that’ll stay.
10. Break the habit of buying a sweet treat every single day
11. Lower my A1C to under 4.8 (it’s at 5.0 rn)
12. Practice buying quality, no matter the price point. I should be able to afford what I want if I hit my annual income goal.
13. Move to (a different city local to me) in downtown and live at (one of the new high rises they are building)
14. Become more photogenic without nitpicking every single thing about me with each picture I take— this also goes hand in hand with no longer using filters on my photos or making any changes
15. Renew my passport (I’ve been extremely lazy to do so) and travel more. My goal is to travel at least 3 times AT LEAST out of state, preferably out of country if time/work allows
16. Get close with God again. He is the only reason I got to where I am today and then I fell off.
17. Prioritize in taking care of myself and treating myself like a princess. I should always be checking in with myself by asking “is this on-brand with who I’m becoming?” and act accordingly.
18. Start going out more— go to more events, dinners, say yes to invites more, date. I’d like to increase my social calendar to at least once a week. By the end of the year, I’d like to be social at least 3-4x per week.
19. Reset my gut health and actually feel like I’m in my 20s and not in my 90s
20. Become completely unbothered and know when to emotionally detach (or avoid attachment altogether— seriously)
21. Stop oversharing… being exclusive with information about me/my life
22. Don’t dream big, but dream bigger
23. Stop being so trusting and forgiving— HUGE lesson I learned in 2024.
I’m sure I’ll be adding to this list. But any personal posts regarding my own rebrand and level up will be under the hashtag on my blog #2025. I will constantly be updating from now until the end of 2025.
#2025#level up#self care#level up journey#personal development#femininity#hypergamy#leveling up journey#that girl#leveling up#leveled up woman#leveling up tips#level up tips#femininity tips#glow up tips#self care tips#glow up journey#glow up#femininity journey#feminine journey#dream girl journey#dream girl aesthetic#dream girl#it girl aesthetic#it girl#self development#self improvement#hypergamous dating#hypergamous lifestyle#hypergamous
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Being involved with Tashi, Patrick and Art - headcanons
It was really difficult to put this together without revealing my deepest secrets and ideas, just in case I finally write a full fanfiction one day 😔 Also... Is my Patrick bias showing?
At first, you are nothing but an ordinary girl at Stanford, having no involvement with tennis whatsoever. You find your way towards the sport though, or rather the people playing it, as you're a kind soul who offers tutoring lessons and writes articles in the school newspaper.
The first person to notice you is Art - the social butterfly himself - as the two of you share some classes, and he recognizes you on the court one day. You surprise him, though, by slipping right past him and running straight towards Tashi.
The moment she first sees you, all thoughts about tennis and school and Patrick evaporate from her brain. Suddenly, her mind is full of you. You're hers and she's yours.
It's such an unbelievable thing for Tashi to do, become almost obsessed with somebody, to the extent that she counts days until the new number of the newspaper comes out and she can read the interview you did with her. Even Art notices and he finds it quite silly, considering the odd dynamic that Tashi and Patrick's relationship has. And it's no secret he has a crush on both of you.
Pretty soon, you become Tashi and Art's thing - their friend that they both desire, while desiring other people as well - they make sure you're sitting at the bleachers for every match and show off in front of you. And you adore them deeply, finding them to be the best tennis players at Stanford.
They introduce you to Patrick, someone so similar and yet entirely different to them. The guy scoops you up like a tsunami, offers you your first ever cigarette and treats you as if you two have grown up together. Whatever Art and Tashi like, he likes as well.
The four of you finally get closer over multiple shared cans of beer - something nostalgic, a deja vu for the three that they don't tell you about - and all three of them ask to kiss you. You let them, of course.
Somehow, all three of them want you, need you so badly, all while still wanting one another. You become some sort of a glue which keeps them together - even though they were functioning almost perfectly before you showed up - and none of them notice the showing cracks which you failed to glue up.
Some time passes, you become Tashi's best of friends, her safe space and the only person she's willing to display her vulnerability in front of. The effect you have on her is unreal, she's genuinely at her best, healthy, taking care of herself, and all of that just because of you.
Patrick visits more often as well. Both him and Tashi seem to fight for your attention, so it's natural neither of them really minds, considering they are almost actively trying to cheat on each other with you. But you love both of them, plus Art, too equally and too much to nice any different in their behaviour. If anything, you're just happy that you found yourself in such a lovely group of friends.
You're with Art, both of you waiting for Patrick, when Tashi's injury happens. You clutches your hand like you're her guardian angel in the infirmary, begging you not to leave her, just don't leave her alone. When Patrick runs in, trying to talk to Tashi, you're lost, completely. And when Art kicks his best friend out - for reasons totally unknown to you - you're baffled. What is going on? Eager to get an answer, you run after Patrick, abandoning Tashi.
After that, crumbles into pieces. Patrick wouldn't talk to you, suddenly seeing Art and Tashi's influence in yourself and he can't stand that, because you were their first. And even if you choose to go after him, he knows he can't have you. Nor can he have Tashi and Art.
Tashi is devastated, she feels hurt and betrayed, even though you have visited multiple times at the hospital and brought her fruit and fresh clothes. Art spends most of his time by her side, and somehow, he's excused from school to provide her much needed support. She doesn't want you there.
Few months later, Tashi has completely erased you from her life - almost unwillingly, and despite your attempts to reach out and offer her your support - and leaves Stanford after some time. So the only one of the three who you remain in contact with is Art. His presence feels like a ghost's, he only reveals that he hasn't talked to Patrick once since that day and that Tashi is healing. Physically. But it's clear that mentally, she is completely devastated.
You graduate from Stanford by yourself, leaving everything behind the gates of the school, and get employed in an editorial office. It proves to be difficult to completely forget about the boys, since they are both very much active and have pursued tennis. And just to your luck, you've been promoted to a sports journalist.
Due to your profession, you're one of the first people in the world to discover that Tashi Duncan has married Art Donaldson and she's now his coach. It's like a punch in the gut when you are the one to interview the player at the US open in 2012 - many years after the whole Stanford drama.
He answers all your questions, his voice as soft as you remember it, and he tells you how pretty you look after you turn off the voice recording. You only thank him simply, and leave the place as quickly as possible, slipping right past Tashi without sparing her a glance.
About a year later, you run into Patrick - it's the most random of encounters - but the two of you just bump into each other at some random match where he's playing. And you learn that he is completely miserable, having slipped down from the peak of his career and still playing mainly to keep himself living at a decent level. He tells you he hasn't spoken to Art nor Tashi in years.
Few words in, few tears later the two of you end up drunk - completely fucking wasted, actually - and move it to the closest hotel room. Another night follows and then Patrick invites you for an actual date. That day, you discover a completely new person, a Patrick you never knew could actually exist under all that bravado.
One reckless decision follows another and you accept the silver ring that Patrick slips on your finger. The proposal is fairly romantic but simple and spontaneous at the same time, a pretty sunset in the background to make it look like a fairytale.
As Patrick's fiancée and later a wife - and as a journalist as well - you accompany Patrick to some matches. Yes, he has managed to crawl a bit higher again, having found much needed motivation in your presence and kindness. Just like you used to be an angel to Tashi, now you're one to him. Speaking of Tashi, it's inevitable, meeting her and her husband again.
It appears like a shot from a movie - hand in hand with Patrick, you stand in front of Tashi, who's hair is now a lot shorter, and not so cheery looking Art. All four of you are pretty unsure who to look at first. Luckily, Art is not here to play, but the two have been offered tickets to promote the Donaldson brand. You know the business, make a public appearance every now and then so the world knows they're still relevant.
While you hop away for a quick bathroom break in between the matches, unfortunately, Tashi is there as well. She pulls you into an empty stall and says that both her and Art miss you deeply. She doesn't say a word about Patrick. And she mentions her daughter - Lily - you know about the girl, her baby photos were all over Twitter. Then she kisses you and leaves.
Your and Patrick's relationship is odd, to say at least. It's not like he doesn't love you - god forbid that he feels anything other than deep affection towards you! - but there are just certain gaps. Despite finding nothing but unconditional support from you, Patrick is still unable to open up fully, to accept the loss of his two past loves, even though he has you now.
It's hard to talk about family life when the two of you are at it, and while you wish for a baby so deeply, Patrick can't really give that to you. And that pains him. Because Patrick wants nothing more than for you to be happy in life, but he is too afraid of having such a responsibility over somebody else. He can hardly take care or himself, how would he possibly take care of a baby?
And that's the reason why the two of you eventually divorce towards the end of the year 2017, because you needed something Patrick could never give you. And you wanted it, wanted it more than him. However, you never find another partner to conceive with, you can't bring yourself to fall for somebody else, not after the loss of Art, Tashi and Patrick.
Two years later, you're invited as one of the journalist to the challenger match in New York, completely unaware of the things that are about to happen. When you're getting all set in the hotel, a pretty lady named Helen, who's taking care of your check-in waves at somebody behind you. And that somebody, shows to be Patrick. You run away.
And just around the corner, you collide with Tashi. Ever so gorgeous, she offers you one of her smiles, a tired, appreciative one. There is no mention of the kiss exchanged few years ago. The only thing she says is that Art would love to see you. You tell her you still have the same phone number.
In the evening, as you're getting ready to go to bed, he messages you, asking to see you. A bit late for him, as you know he always used to go to bed early, insisting to live a healthy life. You know you really shouldn't, considering the three shouldn't be allowed a way into your life, but you let him come to your hotel room.
There, he crumbles in your arms wordlessly and lets you stroke his hair. You can sense there's something hidden behind his silence, something he'd like to speak about, but is too ashamed to say out loud. Later, he tells you he's retiring at the end of the season. While the two of you lay there in the dark, you stay unaware of Tashi's current meeting with Patrick. Art, he knows damn well.
The following day, everything is at the stake. You are at the stake, but you don't even know that. Stood on the very opposite of Tashi, where she is sat at the bleachers, staring at you through her sunglasses like the picture of guilt and repentance, as stiff as you don't know her.
You keep your eyes on all three of them, failing to note a single detail, to snap a single picture. Nothing. You only only stand there, glued to your spot behind the umpire's chair, watching Patrick and Art battle on the court. It's clear they're fighting for much more than a simple victory.
Art is doing his best but it's clear he's nowhere near as good as Patrick, and he seems to have almost resignated too, while Patrick remains smug and confident. Although his smirk falls every so often especially at those moments when he locks eyes with you. Then, he looks almost remorseful.
At one moment, Patrick takes a while to serve, rolling the green ball between his fingers and then holding it over the empty triangle of his racket. When he fires, Art doesn't budge at all. In front of you, Tashi is awkwardly fidgeting in her seat, her expression hard to read. Now, she seems to be avoiding your gaze.
The match turns into something harsher, fueled by something that's hard to describe, with both of the boys playing like their lives are on the line. Both of them keep gazing at Tashi, while she's trying to escape their eyes. It's messy, it's weird and you don't like it a bit. But then, all three of them turn to look at you. You're still there, watching them play. You haven't left. You never left.
The balls keeps flying left to right, grunts filling your ears, until the boys get so close to the net that it concerns you. At one final moment, the boys collide, hugging over the net separating the two of them like two good friends who haven't seen each other in years. Tashi jumps up, cheering, and you do as well, applauding them with a smile.
#challengers#challengers headcanons#challengers throuple#patrick zweig#patrick zweig x reader#patrick zweig x art donaldson#patrick zweig x tashi duncan#art donaldson#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson x tashi duncan#art donaldson x patrick zweig#tashi duncan#tashi duncan x reader#tashi duncan x patrick zweig#tashi duncan x art donaldson#headcanon#luca guadagnino
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warning: unprotected sex, mentions of m receiving oral sex, usage of the word "kitten" in a sexual connotation, very brief and minor degradation (reader referred to as stupid), nerd!seungmin in a college setting, semi public sex (sex in an empty classroom), i think that's all :]
nerdy college student kim seungmin who has never had a date nonetheless a girlfriend before in his life. too focused on his studies to even have a social life outside of his small squad of geeky friends.
he was used to being somewhat of an outcast, was used to the popular kids asking him for answers, especially the pretty girls with skirts that were way too short. at least sometimes he made some money off of selling his test answers or tutoring.
"don't you guys think he's kinda cute?.. he looks like he's packing.." you gossiped with your friends about him, they laughed and waved you off
"i'm serious you guys! i've seen his imprint before!" you defended but they were not entertaining you.
you were going to prove them wrong, if they weren't going to jump at the opportunity to fuck the cute nerd, then you were.
the next time you saw him, you asked him for help on a test, letting him know you could stay back after class ended so you two could work on it. you knew he charged for exams but you purposely didn't bring any cash.
class wrapped up and the two of you stayed back, there wouldn't be another class in here for the rest of the day so you were in the clear.
and as always, he did fantastic on the test, getting some questions wrong so it didn't seem so suspicious. you thanked him and he patiently waited for you to hand him his payment.
"oh no.." you feigned
"shit, seungmin.. i forgot the cash on my counter.. i'm sorry.." you pouted
"is there any other way i can pay you? i feel soo bad.. i don't wanna stiff you.."
seungmin had a feeling he knew what you were implying, he didn't want you to feel like you had to do that, he was gonna let it slide and just ask you to bring it next time but he also had a feeling you didn't really want to do that.
he also couldn't really help the blood rushing to his cock. he always thought you were the prettiest of the bunch, his heart always hammering in his chest whenever you would acknowledge him by name, even if it was just to get help on a worksheet.
you got underneath his desk on your knees, looking up at him with a pretty little smile. he knew this was definitely better than the fifty bucks he was going to charge you.
and you were so right about him.
his cock was nice and thick, tip red and drooly, a vein on his underside that was so sensitive.
and once he got over his initial shyness, he melted under your touch, enjoying the way your mouth took him, how you gagged on him and made a spitty mess of his cock. he had never been touched like this before, his hand could only do so much and even then he didn't get to touch himself often. pent up school stress surfacing and building up in the form of an orgasm deep within him.
and seungmin was demanding.
because how dare a stupid little kitten forget to pay him for all his hard work?
pulling you off by your hair and instructing you to get on the professor's desk because he wanted to fuck you there, that he wanted to teach you a lesson you'd never forget.
you knew the nerdy ones where always the most fun to mess with.
never in his wildest dreams did kim seungmin think he would be bending you over in an empty classroom and stuffing you full of his delicious cock. his hips slamming against yours as he dug his fingers deep into your side, you were a babbling mess on his cock, whining whenever he pulled out just a little too much.
"next time, don't forget okay? or i won't be as nice.." he growls
(he was hoping there would be a next time, that you would pull this stunt again.)
(you were definitely planning on it.)
"oh s-seungmin.. i don't want you to be nice.." you moaned, cheek pressed into the cold wood of the table but you were too busy enjoying the ridges of his cock inside of you to care about how uncomfortable it was.
he spanked you, wanting to see his handprint on your asscheek, his balls tightening at the sight.
"shit." he grunted
"i'm afraid you might fail this class if you don't let me tutor you.." he chuckled as he felt you clench around him, cunt so warm and velvety that he had to concentrate hard not to cum.
please refrain from reposting, modifying, translating, copying or stealing my work. - © binsito
#me and my silly thoughts..#skz smut#stray kids smut#binsito#skz hard thoughts#seungmin x reader#kim seungmin fanfic#kim seungmin stray kids#seungmin stray kids#seungmin smut#stray kids seungmin#seungmin#kim seungmin x reader#seungmin x reader smut
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𝕳𝖎𝖘
Sumary: Tom Riddle is obsessed with reader and won't tolerate her being somewhere else than his side (Reader is against the hate on Muggles or Muggle-Born wizards)
Pairing: yandere Adult!Tom Riddle/Voldemort x fem! reader
Warnings: Dark content, obsession, mention of the three Unforgivable Curses, implied kidnapping, death, yandere, toxic behavior
Time: First Wizarding War (meaning Voldemort/Tom is still a normal man)
English is not my native language!
I DO NOT SUPPORT OR ROMANTICIZE YANDERE BEHAVIOR!!!
"Why won't you just understand that all I want to do is create a new world, a better one. One were you, and I will rule together!"
"But I don't want that! In fact, I don't even want to be near you! I'll never join you nor support you. Just give up already and let me free!"
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It was another day in the Malfoy Manor where you were captured by none other than the dark lord himself. And another day, where you just hoped to escape or die. Sounds harsh? Listen to your story first...
You have known Tom since your Hogwarts time. You weren't in the same house but in the same year, and even though you weren't close, you did happen to have some lessons together. Never you would've considered him a friend. He was just a classmate who sometimes helped you with potions, and in your free time, you sometimes met him in the libary by coincidence, but that was it.
Yeah, you did find him attractive, but you would have never thought to date him or something like that. After all, he always wanted to be alone and didn't like company. You also preferred being alone, to be honest. Still, he somehow scared you from the beginning. His eyes hold no emotions, but in his actions and his aura, all you felt or saw was pure hate. Tom didn't talk about his past, but he didn't have to for you to figure out that it must have been no good one.
Once you were in sixth grade, attacks on muggle-born students happened, and in the end, Myrtle, who was a friend of yours, was killed.
Yeah, she was very difficult , but she didn't mean any harm towards anyone. Besides that, she was bullied by so many students that you just felt pity for her. You were also bullied in your first years at hogwarts until the students stopped out of nowhere. Since then, you have had problems with being social. Most people who were close with you ended up using you for their own benefits or saw you as their therapist or something like that.
Okay, Myrtle was known for being over sensitive, but still, if people knew she would cry because of mean comments, then why make them? She was in her third year when she died, and she only flew to the girls' toilet because Olive Hornby made fun of her again, which made you more sad about her death. It's not like she chose to have glasses. What was wrong with some people?
In the end, Riddle accused Hagird of being responsible for her death. Only you and Proffesor Dumbledore were convinced that it couldn't have been Hagrid. He was way too nice and kind-hearted for such a terrible crime as murder. Though you didn't think it was Tom either.
But it didn't matter. Hagrid was suspended, and that was the end of it.
Since that time, you didn't trust Tom Riddle anymore. He was the one who made everyone believe that Hagird was guilty. And somehow, since the incident, Tom's aura has become even more intimidating and dark. At least that's how it felt to you...
Once you graduated, you didn't hear of him again, which didn't bother you at all. You lived a peaceful life for a long time. You loved your job. You had true friends. You could do your hobbies. And sometimes you even went on a few dates.
But, if it would have stayed that way, you wouldn't be at Voldemorts' side against your will, would you?
The day that ruined your life was a rainy day. It wasn't too cold nor too warm, so you decided to take a walk in the nearby woods. You loved to spend your time there. All the creatures and plants fascinated you every time without fail. Sometimes, you even saw unicorns, which felt like a miracle everytime Besides, it was one of the last peaceful places left.
War would soon come. It was only a matter of time. Everybody knew that. Maybe you only had two months left, or you still got two years. No one knew except the ones on Voldemorts side.
At that time, you only knew that 'The Dark Lord' was a user of the dark arts. And he hated Muggles and Muggle-Borns. Which was enough for you to despite him. Dark magic was never something you approved, and you didn't care about the blood status of anyone. What mattered to you was always the person.
Usually, the woods were filled with life and joy, but that day was different. The forest looked intimidating from the outside, and you even thought about going back home.
Sadly, you didn't listen to your inner voice. But, it wouldn't have changed your fate...
Once you entered it, you didn't hear the happy cheers of the birds like always. And you didn't see any nifflers running by or other creatures in general. Something was definitely wrong.
But you continued to walk, which would soon turn out to be a fatal mistake. As soon as you reached the river, that was in the forest, you realized why everything was so different than usual.
Death Eaters had chased and killed a Muggle-Born witch with her family. They were on a camping trip, as you could tell from the scenery. But there was still a girl, most likely two or three years old, still alive.
Without a second thought, you hid behind a big tree and some bushes around it.
It seemed like the Death Eaters didn't know what to do with her. Maybe she wasn't part of the plan? At first, you thought that this was not an important mission for them, but then you saw Bellatrix. She was very well known as Voldemorts' right hand. She personally learned dark magic from him and was definitely the most loyal Death Eater there ever was. So this must be a really important matter.
You couldn't stand her guts and wanted nothing more than to just slap her even if you didn't know her in person. Dark magic wasn't something you supported. But still, you couldn't deny that she was dangerous and powerful. Her madness didn't lower that fact.
Since dying wasn't on your to-do lost today, you ran away as fast as you could. Since they were arguing so loud, they didn't hear you. Of course, you wanted to help the little girl, but it was simply impossible to get her without getting caught. And against a whole troup of Death Eaters with one being BELLATRIX, you didn't stand a chance.
But luck wasn't on your side...
As you ran away from the horrible scene, you ran into a Death Eater. They wore their typical black clothes and their mask was on, so you didn't see who it was.
Before you could grab your wand, you heard an angry mumbled 'stupor'. You fell onto the ground and blacked out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you awoke, you didn't dare to open your eyes. After all, you got caught by a death eater, so you being alive was a miracle. You didn't hear any voices around you. It also wasn't cold and wet around you, so being locked up in a cellar wasn't the case as well...
Beneath you was a comfortable mattress. It was soft and made you want to fall asleep on it. But what the hell was this all about?!
If you're caught by the bad guys, you normally don't wake up in a soft bed. Did they bring you back home? No, that would be too risky. Maybe they wanted some information, but you weren't really someone well known in the wizarding world.
Patiently, you waited a few more minutes, but still not even the slightest noise. So you opened your eyes.
You were in a dark room. The main colors were black and dark green. Black wardrobes and black walls. The bed was made of black wood, but the sheets were dark green, the big carpet on the floor as well. No one was with you in this room. Desperately, you wanted to know where you were. From the colors, you would have guessed that it was a Slytherin Dormitory in Hogwarts. But kidnappers don't bring you to your old school!
Scared you inspected the room once again. Nothing was familiar...
You took a deep breath and stood up. If you would die, fine, but as long as you had the slightest chance of escape you would take it.
The carpet felt also really expensive beneath your feet. By the way, your kidnappers were so nice to pull off your shoes before laying you into bed...
Everything in this room seemed to be just made for this specific room. Which frightened you even more.
Suddenly, the door was opened, and you saw a pretty woman (walking down the street 🤣) in the doorframe. She was slim and tall, had long blonde hair that was tied up in a bun. Her tight dress was rose gold with a black cloak over it. All in all, she looked like a wealthy woman. Her face was pretty as well, but she looked like she got a dung under her nose. Weird.
"Get up and follow me, My Lady," her cold and clear voice told you.
"Uhm, I'm not your Lad -" but she was already on her way to your goal. You had no clue where it was, but following her was better than sitting around, right?
"I know this must be really confusing, but our Lord will explain it to all of us soon. I was just told to get you and call you that. Now, please, don't make this harder for us than it already is,"
You managed to catch up to her. Now you also saw that her eyes were ice blue. Matching her cold voice.
"Who are you?" you asked softly. Kowing her name could be a good hint to where you were.
"Narcissa Black, soon to be Narcissa Malfoy," the woman didn't look at you for one second, her eyes were focused on the walls. So you were still in the claws of the death eaters. Family Black was well known for their puryity, not a family you would have gotten along with.
The corridor was huge by the way. Dark colors still dominating. Only the chandelier was white. Did this belong to one person or was it the headquarters of Voldemort and his minions or what? Instead of getting awnsers you only got more questions as you walked after Narcissa.
Downstairs. A few steps upstairs again. Left. Left again. Right. Straight forward. The second right.
Was this a house or a Labyrinth?! How were you supposed to find your way in here? You even got lost in Digeon Ally!
But after what felt like an internity, you both reached a large black table, people gathered around it. A tall man stood up from his chair as he heard you two enter. As he turned around, you saw your old classmate Tom Riddle, but if he was here, he wouldn't help you. If he became a death eater, he was behind after everything you swore to fight. He wasn't an ally or a friend anymore. He was a danger and a threat to you and many innocent people who weren't here.
You tried to hide behind Narcissa. After all, she was the only person who seemed at least a little trustworthy, and she was another woman. Maybe she knew how unsafe you felt because mostly men were in this room. The only other woman was a mad Bellatrix, never ever you would trust her.
"Ah, there they are. Come in, " Tom spoke. His voice had changed, and it was more intimidating than it was before.
You didn't move an inch, but Narcissa started to move forward. Being all alone without someone to hide behind was more scarry, so you followed her, but you were still behind her.
"Oh no, don't be afraid. No one here will even dare to glare at you, my dear. They knew the punishment would be worse than death," You couldn't recognize Tom anymore. The hate in his presence, his voice, his appearance, everything scared you. Back in school, you didn't fear him, at least not for his house or his roots. Just because he was a Slytherin, it didn't mean that he was evil, but now? His opinions were completely different than yours, and this was not a stupid novel of the stereotype enemies to lovers cause he was just plain and simple wrong with his thoughts on muggleborn or muggles in general.
[Funfact: I don't get the hype on this topic, see, for being autistic I got bullied for many years and than reading a story about two people hating each other's guts and than falling for each other just feels wrong for me, you can read whatever you want ofc, this was just my unpopular opinion]
Still, you hid behind Narcissa, but as she tried to go towards a man with long blonde hair and her crazy sister, you felt completely defenseless. The only person you used to know seemed to be the head of everything here, and Narcissa wasn't at your side anymore. Sadly, Tom saw your fear. He went towards you and pulled you in an unwanted hug. Softly, he petted your hair and whispered sweet nothings. As soon as this horror hug ended, he smiled at you and turned towards the others.
"If anything should happen to her, everyone will be held responsible! You know the punishment, now go! We are done here!" As the last word fell, everyone disapparated, and only you and him were left.
And then you realized it. If he could order the death eaters around, he must be the dark lord himself. Tom Riddle, your old classmate, was Voldemort.
You backed away from him but regretted it soon. Tom didn't take rejection good...
"Why are you scared? I won't harm you. In fact, I am the one who has kept you safe since I saw you!"
"Are you mad?!" You yelled back into his already mad face. Wrong choice again. In full rage he stormed through the room and kicked everything in his way. Chairs and even the whole table practically flew through the room.
"Who protected you from those bullies back in Hogwarts?! Who kept you safe from all filthy boys who just wanted to break your heart?! Who killed the mudblood Myrtle so you were safe from her?!"
So Dumbledore was right... Tom opened the chamber of secrets all those years ago. And killed your friend.
"Myrtle was my friend! I never asked for your personal protection, Tom!"
Somehow that calmed him down! Yep, that man was a complete psychopath...
"But you didn't have to, my dear", he ran towards you and cupped your cheek while looking into your eyes.
"Keeping you safe will always be my priority. I loved you the moment I laid eyes on you and I knew that I would always protect you. Look around, here in our mansion you will always be safe. No one will ever harm you again. We'll be safe here! After I've won this war you and I can live here in peace. Just imagine it, I'll make us so many horcruxes that we won't ever die. Here we will raise our kids and they'll never go through the pain of being an orphan like I was", pain and hate was in his voice at the simple thought of 'death' and 'orphan'. But having a family with this insane man? Hell nah, you'd flee the moment you got the chance!
"I know now this is scary for you, and you might think of escaping, but this whole mansion is surrounded by death eaters, the moment you even think of fleeing you'll be brought to your room and trust me, I know how to punish or torture someone so that no mistace will ever happen again",
And that's how you ended up here. Behind you was the man that claimed to love you fast asleep. Yet he was the one who made you go through all of this. Most traumas you had were because of his action. If this was love, than you could already drown in it.
You had no idea if you could ever escape or if even the try of escaping was a good idea. This man wasn't well known for his kindness or his patience.
Maybe playing along would make it easier, but would your mental health take that well? Or would that make him do worse things 'out of love'?
Still, you rethought your first actions towards Tom, trying to figure out what made his obsession start. Was it your look? Your hairstyle? Your body language?
Or was it just being unlucky?
#Tomxreader#reader insert#tom riddle#tom riddle x reader#voldemort#voldemort x reader#yandere#dark themes#yandere x reader#harry potter#harry potter universe#first wizarding war
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Tempted to write a replaced au twst fic where Yuu (or alternatively, I'll use my Yuu, Riyuu, who is basically who I'm writing this for) used to be the cutest girl around, the cheery one who's always around everyone, the one you can't seem to dislike even if your crush falls for her because she earnestly says sorry (even though it's not her fault) and will always help you out if you need her back in her old school. But one day, a new girl comes around and her whole reputation got destroyed. She helps the new girl adjust, tells her all the rumours and introduces her to all the popular kids. But the girl ends up backstabbing her, telling the popular girls rumours about how she intentionally plays up the act to steal their crushes to her, and lies to the boys, telling them she's just playing with their hearts and that she's a horrible person.
Yuu ends up alone and excluded, being seen as "annoying" and only having a few close friends who doesn't really interact with her in public in fear of their reputation being ruined. She ends up miserable at school, and wishes to not go anymore. But one day comes a saving grace, she gets whisked by a mysterious black carriage into Twisted Wonderland, or more specifically, Night Raven College. She doesn't mind working if it meant she doesn't have to deal with her old school, there was still 1 and a half years left of school and she doesn't want to deal with all ghe group projects to be assigned that will inevitably end with everyone not wanting to team up with her. Plus, as annoying Grim is, he's like the animal friend all of the anime and storybook protagonists she knows has, and she doesn't mind him too much.
Some things did change after she and Grim got officially enrolled, but she had no problem adapting to the social expectations of the world, part time jobs with Sam -- and occasionally the canteen -- paid enough to get her tools for cooking basic but delicious food, and new friends without the weight of her past helped her get settled comfortably.
The existence of Overblots stunned her for a bit, but a peek into Riddle and Leona's memories helped her understand the concept, even if just a little. However, things began to change eerily simlarly to her old school when a new girl comes, also in a similar position to her, getting transported to a new, unfamilliar world, and seemingly hailing from a similar world to the Earth she knows. She warmly welcomes her, eager to finally befriend another girl, but it seems that the girl does not share the same enthusiasm.
The girl only barely responds to Yuu's attempts at forming a friendship, and always seems to talk her in a condescending way, and often dismisses her, and especially so whenever there are any boys around.
Yuu will not deny any statements claiming she's an attention seeker or that she plays up her sweet innocent girl act, but she knows to never, ever sacrifice a bystander for it. But if someone insists on war with her... well that's another, different story. She's learnt her lesson of being overly optimistic, and she will not make the same mistake twice. She will not let her make her life a living hell more than it already is with Crowley's irresponsibleness.
Aaand thus begins the story. Or well, however you wanna continue it. I'm honestly in favour of most Housewardens (Kalim, Vil, and Idia in particular. I'll put my reasoning in a few paragraphs down) Adeuce, Tweels, and Ortho for team Yuu. Why?
Well, first of all, Adeuce. This is mostly because the duo is like. with Yuu since Day 1, as much of a bitch as Ace is, I think those two are the most likely to trust and know Yuu well enough to not believe the lies R (< Replacer) tells. Especially Deuce, he doesn't want to betray a friend he knew for quite a while, that would not be very honor student-like of him!! And she helped him out in a lot of situations too! He doesn't want to hurt you after all the trouble you go through to help him, and also knowing how horrible your living conditions are. Ace would most likely give in to peer pressure if the student body is overwhelmingly in favour of R, but as of now, he maybe enjoys your company just a bit more than R. Just a bit, promise.
Tweels I feel like is self-explanatory. Those two are perceptive as fuck istg it scares me. Jade especially. I feel like the two would just toy with R for a bit despite her facade and lies before dropping her after she bothers them for attention and favours one too many times.
(Ortho ties in with Idia so I'll explain him in Idia's paragraph)
Kalim is actually very emotionally intelligent. He can come off annoying and stupid, but from all the scenes I see of him, he's actually really good at dealing with people. Have you seen how he deals with the Scarabia residents after Jamil's OB??? The way he phrases his sentences?? He didn't force or even plead with them to forgive Jamil, he simply asks them to wait before making permanent judgements, and I think he's gonna be uncomfy with how condescendingly R talks to Yuu, and even if he's used to people going after him for money, I feel like R mostly eyeing him for money and how she "secretly" sighs in annoyance everytime she goes out of the party for a "bathroom break" will only solidify his dislike/discomfort, even if he doesn't show it.
Vil is also kind of self-explanatory if you read into his character and not just the shell the official English localization makes for him. (I could rant for hours about how the official tl portrays his character istg. He's hardworking and he actually didn't attempt to poison Neige out of pure jealousy, he did it because he felt like all his efforts to be beautiful will never be able to surpass Neige, who, in his eyes, always seemed to be innocent and naturally beautiful. He feels like the villain in Neige's story. He feels like he is reduced to what he often plays as, a snobbish, overconfident villain obsessed with overthrowing the hero. And because of it, it became a twisted self-fulfilling prophecy, pushing him to, in a fit of despair, be that same villain everyone sees him as.) I really don't think he will take well to R's condescension to Yuu, who genuinely wants to befriend R. (I actually have a whole thing in my head where Yuu and Vil occasionally have sleepovers where they do skincare together after the whole VDC thing happened. I feel like this is also a "vent sesh" of sorts for the both of them, just to air out their grievances without much seriousness, and I think Yuu would admit to wanting a fellow girl in the school that she could befriend, since no matter what, being the only girl can be exhausting.) Ik Vil's not a girl but he is such a girls' girl istg.
Idia... this mostly ties into Ortho and The STYX Incident, but like,, I think we can all agree on this one,, Idia is smart and capital V Very pessimistic. Would you rather trust the girl you've known for a while, who saw your memories, who helped you in awkward social situations when she can and is besties with your brother or some random new girl who trash talks said girl behind her back? The former, right? Plus, even if Yuu did only hang out with him and his brother because she likes to secretly laugh at him behind his back, there's mo guarantee R wouldn't do the same, given his experience. And he would rather have someone who actively helps him and his brother out than someone who wouldn't.
I didn't put Malleus in because of how canon him actually treats Yuu. I feel like the fandom kind of put on rose-tinted glasses on with his character, and kind of ignored some things like, idk... him just leaving them to fend for themselves homeless during Octavinelle... maybe he thought Crowley would offer them a place to stay but like... I'm still bothered by how didn't atleast offer a spare room in Diasomnia. He's a housewarden goddamnit. He's not as distant or scary as the rumours say but like. still rubbed me the wrong way.
Anyways I don't think my attention span will let me write it to completion so if anyone likes this and wants to write it feel free. Pls tag me if you do tho. I would love to read it :3
#was listening to all eyes on me while writing this btw#You can also insert an Obey Me crossover with Replaced AU on that end that also ended horribly#“First' the worst; maybe third's the charm!”#I don't play Obey Me though so I can't rlly construct the narrative for that one#Also I don't hate Malleus nor Malleyuu I swear#I just think we're a bit biased with his actions sometimes...#Anyways if anyone wants to just ditch the school for RSA#Valid. You're 100% valid#I just got attached to Adeuce Kalim and Vil lol#I would just run to RSA if I ever get the chance tho#Fuck Crowley noone likes Crowley 🙂😇#twisted wonderland#twst#Do I tag twst x reader???#fuck it why not it's literally based on an entire angst au anyways#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#replaced au#twst replaced au#twisted wonderland replaced au#okay enough tags I'm tired#I'm not gonna tag the specific characters mentioned#I'm too tired and I don't wanna :3#Also R is used for Replacer for this entire thing sorry#I haven't played twst for a long; looooong while but I like some of the boys too much to let go [sigh]#Also just bc it's fun to think about#Waiting for Limbus or HSR to get updated so take some twst brainrot in the meantime#I love Villainess manhwas#Ofc I would love Replaced AUs
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The reader gets rlly flustered easily and she's so shy, her boyfriend JJ thinks it's hilarious and is always teasing her especially in front of ppl. Most of the time she hits his arm and yells at him but he js never learns his lesson 😭 then like one day he stops doing it and the reader is all like '???' And he says he stopped bc she didn't like it but she secretly loves it so she's a little pouty until he starts it back up 😭
(IF THAT MAKES SENSE ‼️‼️)
this was honestly such a cutie ask and i hope i did it justice with this lil drabble!!! tease jj is my favorite. i've been in such a writing slump lately and this was a nice little prompt!!
one thing about jj maybank- he loves to embarrass his friends. it is quite literally his favorite pastime, and his favorite to annoy is you. when you first started dating, he reigned it in, but lately it’s an unstoppable force. his compliments are constant, his teasing persistent. jj is hooking his fingers in the waistband of your sweats, just a way to stay tethered you in all honesty, but he loves to feel your skin heat and the way you swat him away.
when the boys and kie surf, you and sarah sunbathe. he is shouting from his board, essentially catcalling you with whoops and whistles. he can’t hear you, but he almost falls off his board watching you groan and cover your face.
jj is also a downright devil when tipsy- which happens at each and every social event. He’s pulling you down on his lap, holding you still when you try to wriggle out of his arms. for someone who blushes when they get called pretty, you’re damn near having a heart attack when he whispers the lewdest things in your ear. His first response when you roll your eyes at him (desperately trying to maintain your cool) is to tell you how much he likes it when your eyes roll back when he’s fucking you.
“jj!!” you jump up, and scold him. the only thought in his head is that you are very pretty when you’re yelling at him.
he loves this little back and forth, and keeps at it, until a new year’s party where he introduces you to someone as his exquisite girlfriend- you’re trying to figure out when he has ever used that word when he plants a kiss on the corner of your mouth and you go chili-pepper hot. that’s innocent enough, so you just fiddle with your pendant necklace and laugh and let him hang onto you. later, kie is doing a diy photobooth where she has out a polaroid camera and groups of people are lining up for a photo op. jj immediately drags you over there, and you both are just giggling quietly as you watch friend groups be silly and couples kiss for the camera.
when it’s finally your turn, jj immediately asks the important questions. “sweet or silly!”
“silly, obviously!” his hand instinctively goes to the small of your back, and you lean into his hold so it looks like you’re about to fall. you make a scared face and wrap your fist in jj’s shirt because, truth be told, you’re a little afraid he will actually drop you. he doesn’t though, and when kie counts down and the flash goes off, jj tilts his head down and licks a stripe up your exposed neck.
you hear a few lewd whistles and catcalls, and you jump straight up and hit him on the arm. “j! what the hell!”
he is grinning like a devil, cheeks a little pink but undeterred anyways. “yeah, baby?”
kie is laughing too as the camera whirs, and she shakes it under a light and lets out another giggle as it develops. jj snatches it out of her hands, and holds it just out of your reach as you swat at his arms, pinch his sides, anything to get that somewhat incriminating photo. in your opinion, it should sit in a drawer. instead, jj is showing everyone around him, saying stuff like “aren’t we so hot?” and, “look at her face!!”
you’re so embarrassed that you could just die, but you take the route of huffing and skulking into the bathroom. you would love to lie and say you didn’t hide there for about two hours, but you’re honest. you hid for two hours.
when you and jj catch a ride home with pope, he’s oddly quiet. his hand stays at your knee, and he’s not touching you anywhere else. not making jokes to pope, and not pressing his lips up against your neck as he loves to do anytime you’re both in the backseat. you don’t really think anything of it, and let your head drop against his shoulder. when you get home, jj shoves the polaroid into a drawer and it isn’t spoken of again.
a few days pass, and you’re convinced something is deeply wrong with your boyfriend. he’s normal enough at home- stage-5 clinger, loud, and horny at all times. but in public, it’s like someone has replaced him with a robot. the most contact you have is his hand on your waist or his arm around your shoulders. there’s no compliments in front of your friends, no butt pinches, no silly whistles. he doesn’t even plead you to shotgun with him when you’re all smoking! you never take him up on the offer, but it’s the thought that counts. the change affects you more than you like to admit, being a little grumpier than average. when you’re in the chateau living room with everyone and jj tries to kiss your cheek, you’re huffing and pushing him away. every comment he makes to you that isn’t the highest praise has you annoyed and ignoring him.
later, when you two are alone with his face pressed to your chest and your fingers lazily twirling through his hair, he makes a joke about being surprised you’re tolerating him.
“don’t be rude,” you snap back, “i’m not the one being super weird lately.” you ask him what’s been going on. he’s dismissive, as he usually is when little problems arise.
“nothin’, honey.”
“don’t lie to me, maybank.” you tug his head up so he’s looking at you, and his lips pressed into an annoyed line, put off by the fact that his face is no longer up against your boobs.
“explain,” he says, not in a rude way, just genuine and questioning.
you shrug. “you’ve just been weird around our friends lately. not as… like touchy,” you gesture and pat his shoulder.
“ohhh, that!”
so he knows what you’re talking about?
“i just noticed you got kinda like, uncomfortable when i did that kind of stuff. like my jokes, or whatever. i guessed i needed to stop embarrassing you,” he grins sheepishly.
“i’m just shy!” you say defensively with a little whine. “i can’t help it.”
he nods, hand rubbing up your torso to console you. “ it’s okay to be shy, baby. it’s not okay for me to be mean.” jj mimics your pouty lip.
you sigh and smile, running your fingers down his neck. “i like it when you’re mean.”
he immediately pushes himself up so he’s over you, and grin. “really?”
“i’m serious!” you counter, but you don’t stop the way his knee starts to slide between your legs. “i like your jokes, and i like you making fun of me.”
jj pauses. “you’re serious?”
“yeah! i’m sorry, i thought i hated when you’d do that kind of stuff, but you’ve been so boring without it.”
“me, boring? i’m not boring.” to prove his point, you guess, he starts peppering kisses all over your neck.
“you were boring!” you laugh. “Like, it wasn’t you. i like when you’re a tease.”
“i miss being a tease,” he groans. “i miss you getting all flustered and i really miss coming and finding you when you hide in bathrooms.”
that part does confuse you. “huh?”
“cause,” he kisses you in between the phrases, “you’d be so angry and pretty, and then we’d get to makeout in the bathroom. that’s my favorite part.”
“that’s my favorite part too,” you laugh.
later, when you’ve melted into each other and you’re sitting in the pretty quiet, you both come up with a new year’s resolution: always do the embarrassing things, and worry about the embarrassment later.
your fun little polaroid no longer sits in a drawer alone, but in fact on your bulletin board, with a bunch of other pictures just as flirty, just as teasing, and just as sweet.
as always, likes, reblogs, and comments are greatly appreciated!!
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