#also like you don’t have to reach a certain level of bad or ill to seek help

[chryblossomjjk]

taking steps to get on antidepressants tomorrow besties 🤧

[sapphiresaphics]

Here’s the thing. Arcane season 2 was finished being written back in 2020. It was completed before the first season of Arcane even aired on Netflix in the first place. Before they even knew if it was going to be a hit or not. Before any of the fans had hot takes about the characters.

Which means that all of these “new subplots” (such as the black rose) weren’t just added in on a whim. They have an intentional purpose in the story they’re trying to tell.

It also means that the pacing was always going to increase and become faster as the two seasons went on.

I think a lot of fans are coming at this show from the perspective of a lot of live action shows where the writers see how fans respond to certain things so they add them into the story or focus on fan favorites to grab your attention and keep you engaged. And live action shows can do this because they’re filmed relatively close to when the series airs and so they’re aware of what the reactions are on social media (for good or ill).

But this is animation. Very TIME CONSUMING animation at that. It took 4 years to finish animating the 9 episodes of Season 2. If you include the 6 years of development and production of Season 1, that’s almost a full DECADE of working on this show.

My point is that they literally (and logistically) can’t respond to fan input and make changes in the show based on the way it was received on social media. Like it or not, these specific characters beats and storylines were always the plan from the start.

This is a long winded way of trying to say… if you have problems with the way certain characters are behaving, or certain plot points feeling rushed, or feel overwhelmed by the number of added subplots that need to get resolved before the end of the show… I strongly suggest rather than saying the writing is “bad” or that the writers “don’t know what they’re doing” or just complain about anything really… I suggest you take a step back and ask yourself “why are these the stories and actions they chose for this 2 season arc?”

I think that’s a far more productive thing to do than to go online and whine about things you didn’t like. I find it’s better to try and understand WHY they chose to do these things rather than write them off. More often than not when you look into the why, or try to come up with reasons why the writers would take certain characters down the paths they do, you end up coming out appreciating the media more. Even if you still don’t were with their narrative choices, learning and understanding the WHY is far more rewarding I think.

I’ll give you an example of something I don’t like, but that I understand why. Isha. I don’t like that Isha was introduced and then killed off in the latest episode. If I were to look at it just from a surface level reading, it seems pointless to add this cute mute kid character only to take her away a few episodes later. But NARRATIVELY she’s extraordinarily important. She is what Jinx needed to become more empathetic to her sister and reach out to fix their family. She helps push Jinx into the role of Vander for season 2. And her heroically framed sacrifice is probably going to be the push Jinx needs to stop trying to commit suicide.

Would I have liked to see more of her and Jinx’s relationship? Yes. Would I liked to have learned more about where she came from and why she’s mute? Yes. But at the end of the day, this is not a show about Isha. Isha is a narrative device to help forward the character development of Jinx. And so, while I do not like that she sacrificed herself… I understand it. And that understanding helps me appreciate the writing and the level of depth the writers are willing to go to push their characters around where they need to be by the end of the series.

At the end of the day, Arcane is just another show on Netflix. It is not beyond criticism. There are a lot of legitimate criticisms you can have against the show. But I’ve found that recently the number of bad takes and people refusing to engage with the narrative has resulted in a bit of a backlash against the show and I do not think that’s ultimately very productive. Please… if you’re going to criticize the show, please try to do better than just write off anything you don’t like as “the writers just suck” or “they changed X character for no reason!”

Because I guarantee you, there IS a reason for everything in this show. No matter how small and trivial it might be, this show was put together with love and an extraordinary attention to detail. There are reasons for why characters do and say the things they say. The writers often make these into intentional parallels, foreshadowing, and callbacks.

Please… take the time to actually stop and dissect what you see. Even something upsets you. I implore you… try to understand why. Try to understand what the writers are saying. Try to understand how certain plot points and events could have a bearing on different characters.

Please just…. Try?

[envy-of-the-apple]

AHHH the whole suguru and satoru liking older women thing is so>>. to me it’s so much easier imaging Satoru chasing after someone older since he really does give bratty youngest sibling vibes… like especially with how he reacted in front of that kfc after losing a bad bitch (suguru)… he’s not used to being told no for SURE. And he’d def chase after someone that has their shit together and KNOWS better than to give in to his manipulation, which is makes him all the more intrigued and hungry to vie for that person’s attention. prime example being just how annoying he gets towards nanami.

BUT that does make me wonder what suguru is like then. I don’t know if he’s necessarily the type of person to chase— or at least not in the pestering way that Satoru does. If he were to go after someone older, does he reach a point of desperation when they don’t give in? like, no this cult leader pretty boy with a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes and overly polite mannerisms that scream of ulterior motives is NOT gonna get the pass from someone who is older and clocks his ill intentions from a mile away. I’m sure Satoru is in it for the long haul when it comes to chasing after someone, but suguru… at some point he’d prolly just kidnap you and force you to stay in one of the rooms of his temple until you get Stockholm syndrome I swear. He seems more like the type of person who demands to have the reigns / control over the situation, and he wouldn’t necessarily entertain any rejection or retaliation in the way Satoru does (his lil masochist ass prolly enjoys being a top tier menace just so you keep pushing him away tbh).

I’m getting ahead of myself, but I do wanna see your perspective on how he is with someone who is equally as level-headed as him (if not more than, considering seniority and being more jaded/experienced with dealing with creepy ppl). Suguru and Satoru def have different approaches to gaining the attention of an older person they like. I say person rather than woman bc they’re def both… lil bi whores…. freaky frotters if you will. explored each others’ bodies for sure… Also I love your works SO SO MUCH! I came here from your ao3 and I’m genuinely in awe whenever I read your stuff… it def inspires me when I’m writing my own jjk works lmao (takes me like 50 business years to write a single fic on ao3 but it’s okay we ball).

awwww bestie tytyty so so much youre so nice!!!!

kkkkk so I do think that Suguru prefers older women while Satoru leans more towards older men. Like have you seen that guy? Daddy issues, clearly. If Toji wasn't, yknow, actively hunting him down, Gojo would definitely be obsessed with him like Noaya

I totally agree with what you said! For Suguru, it really is about control. I feel like Suguru sees the age difference like a certain power dynamic that he can twist around, if that makes sense? When he goes after someone, he definitely expects them to come quietly. I feel like he'd enjoy the chase a little bit, but only a little. He'd quickly get bored and the flimsy excuses of 'I'm ten years older than you' 'I have a husband and a child' will start to get a little annoying. I feel like the ppl he goes after will know he's dangerous and not to mess with him.

[liloinkoink]

hi, big fan of lamplight, and I wondered whether you used a guide/list for Ren's more specific mannerisms, or just work from your own knowledge?

love the series :D

glad you’re enjoying it!

as for a guide to Ren’s mannerisms… i don’t know that i have 100% hard set rules that This Action = That Emotion Every Single Time, but i do have some guidelines for myself. i haven’t ever really written them out, but ill try and mark down the rules i follow in my own head for how to write Ren expressing himself

first: the obvious one is that good/happy emotions are generally bright. when he’s excited, he gets big and bright, with a lot of motion and sparking. he can’t wag his tail or shout anymore, so he ends up big and bright to express himself instead lots of fast movements like it’s windy, or sparks / embers, or becoming genuinely hard to look at—that’s happiness and excitement, generally. this is what you see the most in him in lamplight

the opposite of that, of course is that and bad/unhappy emotions are usually small and dim. if he’s hurt or upset or sad or angry or scared, he gets small and dark. i imagine his flames also move a bit slower when he’s sad

however, bright doesn’t always mean happy and dim doesn’t always mean sad. the light level also corresponds to how intensely he’s feeling something. strong emotions usually see his flames get bigger/brighter/faster, while weak emotions don’t have as much as an effect. if he were frustrated or anxious, his flames might move faster—think of it like pacing, or bouncing his leg. he might also get brighter when he’s angry if there’s a lot of passion behind it.

that sort of thing is where color comes in. the color of his fire is his other big emotional tell. i’d say his neutral is orange—if they’re just walking around in silence, or if Martyn is asleep, he probably defaults to a nice orange. when he’s happier, he turns more yellow/white. i use the word “gold” to describe him basically exclusively when Martyn is making him smile / he’s smiling at Martyn, and i usually picture that as like… specifically fond/comfortable(/lovestruck)

the color he appears most rarely is red, which is… irritated or angry, mostly, but it can also be incredibly sad, in a “dimmed so far down he’s more embers than fire” sort of way. i’d say flustered could also be red depending on the context? red can mean a lot of things, but they’re not emotions that are as common, and you’d have to figure it out based on the intensity/motion of his flames

for other really uncommon things: he sometimes makes smoke when annoyed, frustrated, flustered, or when he’s purposefully trying to annoy Martyn. smoke also is just something i throw in sometimes if the vibe feels right for it. also, Ren’s temperature doesn’t fluctuate that much, because it’s something he has to remain in control of so he doesn’t hurt Martyn, but if he’s taken really off guard he might slip up and get hotter (ie. getting flustered by Martyn kissing him in worship the ashes. i think if Martyn ever surprised/scared him suddenly he would risk Ren burning him by accident)

bc of all this, Ren’s expressions are kind of mix-and-match. for example, sometimes he’s upset and bright—if he’s really pissed, he’d be red embers that are small, but INCREDIBLY bright, to the point he’s difficult to look directly at. another example, i tend to describe him as sparking “like fireworks” when he’s happy, but he might also spark when he’s annoyed or nervous

when i’m picking how Ren’s expressing himself, i usually think about two things:

first thing, what was he just doing last? if he was so upset he’d gone down to embers and is now moving toward happiness, he’s probably not going to jump immediately to blinding white fireworks (unless he’s really happy)—he’s going to warm up a little bit, move more to orange, and have to be cheered up until he reaches yellow/white again

the other thing i think about is examples of real world flames and match them with certain vibes. like, with Ren’s anger, i tend to think about hot metal right out of a forge, because ren’s anger is intense and can be powerful when directed or shaped purposefully. for unease, i think about sparks from friction, because those make me uneasy.

aaaand finally, to end out all of these considerations, the last rule is that i can also break just about any of these if i think that it feels correct to do so. he operates on vibe. sometimes the vibe says do something else besides what is in this guide. at which point i do that thing instead

if there are any specifics that usually stay true consistently… i can think of three reliable constants that usually only mean one thing

-crackling generally happens when Ren is using his “voice.” often it specifically means laughter, but not always, and not every laugh results in crackling. it can also just mean he’s talking or yelling

-like i said up in the color section, if i use the word gold in prose, it usually means specifically a warm/fond smile directed at or because of Martyn

-when Ren cries, it appears as steam. we haven’t seen him cry yet, but this is how it would appear if he did: so dim it looks like he’s nearly out, barely red embers, heavy steam. he looks almost like water has been doused over him. you will only ever see steam if you actually genuinely dunk Ren in water or if he’s crying

-i haven’t really thought about sleep before, BUT if Ren were to sleep again as fire he’d probably get fairly dim and pretty slow, unless he was dreaming, at which point ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[pleaseeeimjustagirl]

Your Physical Glow Up 

Most of us when trying to level up are very excited to work on the physical aspect. I know I am. I'm excited about finally getting my dream body, skin, and hair. I have been working so hard this month on being intentional with my habits so I can attain my goals. So in today's blog post, I want to break down the things you should focus on to enhance your physical appearance I will be making more in-detail blog posts about each point<3.

Diet 

This is the most important thing to me that we should all focus on whether you are trying to lose, gain, or maintain weight. Your diet can affect a lot. Having a bad diet can affect your gut health causing uncomfortable bloating it can affect your skin giving you bad acne and so many other issues. Depending on your goal try to find a diet that best fits what you're going for. I recommend eating a balanced diet and not limiting or restricting any food. Watch YouTube videos and read books on proper nutrition. Also, find out how many calories you should be eating daily on TDEE calculators. Always consult your doctor especially if you have medical issues. Always consult your doctor especially if you have medical issues. WATER I know some girlies aren’t big fans of water lol but you need water! I wish I could put a bigger emphasis on the need for water it's a must especially when it comes to your skin and overall body health. If you don't like drinking water you can put lemons or other fruits in your water. My favorite item to use to give my water a boost of flavor is flavored packets they sell them every where and they are very low in calories ranging from 0-10 Cals. Finally, your gut health I know you have been hearing about this all over tik tok this topic is so deep ill be making a separate post for it but yes gut health is so important it can affect our physical appearance causing us to look bloated or inflamed. So do your research on how to improve your gut health and expect a post soon <3.

Exercise 

Get your body moving babe! Exercise can be fun find a form of exercise that makes you feel good and that you enjoy. I think the reason why a lot of us do not enjoy working out is because we are doing what everyone else is doing instead of doing what makes us happy. Some people might love HIIT workouts and you might like something more low-impact like pilates and the next girl could like walking 5 miles every day. Figure out what best suits you dibble and dabble in different forms of exercise. And yes I know sometimes we will have to do exercise we don’t like to get a certain look I recently started weight training at first I did not like it but now I love ittt! It makes me feel so good and I have been seeing results and the more results I see the harder I want to go in the gym. Also, you do not have to pay for memberships to be able to do pilates and yoga YouTube has a lot of amazing women who will get you right. So look at your goals figure out what aligns with them and be consistent.

Rest

Sleep is very important and the most overlooked. You need to get at least 7 hours of sleep every night. Start training your body to sleep more no more late nights. Of course, staying up here and there is understandable but you shouldn’t be staying up and going to sleep by 3 am every single day. Take it easy allow yourself to rest! Do not overwork yourself to achieve your goals. With patience, you will reach your goals in the blink of an eye, and you’ll be where you want to be.

Skincare 

First figure out what skincare type you have and the type of products that are best for your skin. I have hyperpigmentation and dark spots it's not extremely bad but I do not like it and would like my skin to be one color and clear. So I did some research on what I could try to get the skin that I wanted. I recently started using Kojic acid, Cosrx, MediCube, and Neutrogena. Also, sunscreen is important for all of us to use. I'm a black girl if you haven't realized yet lol but growing up I heard black people do not need sunscreen yesss we do! I recently started getting into anti-aging skin care as well still doing my research. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be youthful you can't stop aging but you can slow it down.

These were the basic things to focus on when trying to physically level up if you want me to go more in-depth let me know. I'll be making posts on each separately over the next couple of weeks.

I'm open to any comments or private messages if you can relate and please let me know any further topics you want me to cover<3

[acacia-may]

Let’s pour some salt together, Acacia~!/lh 💖

If it’s not too much trouble, can I ask #7 generally, #10 for Fairy Tail and Black Clover, and finally #25 for Demon Slayer?

It’s several questions and a bit all over the pl s so I hope you don’t mind… 😅

Cheers, Erika! 🥂 Thanks for the chance to get a little bit salty about so many different things! ^^

Necessary disclaimer above the cut: These are just my own personal opinions based on my personal tastes, perceptions, and feelings regarding the series, stories, and characters and their relationships. I genuinely have the utmost respect and absolutely no ill will towards anyone who has a different opinion than me. In fact, I have always said that one of the greatest things about fandom is that we can all experience and perceive these amazing stories and characters in very different ways but still love them. Even some of my dearest fandom friends enjoy different pairings than me or see our shared favorite characters in wildly different ways than I do. I personally find it very rewarding to have respectful conversations about our differences of opinion, and I hope that my opinions will also be respected. Also, I don't vibe with just mindless bashing things, so even though this is about to get very salty and a little snarky, I'll try to keep it respectful and all in good fun. I am not tagging anything and am hiding my thoughts under the cut so you all don't have to be subjected to my hot takes and "Salty Acacia," if you don't want.

MAJOR Spoilers for Demon Slayer below the cut. You've been warned.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

ATTACK ON TITAN/SNK. My sister says I need a swear jar because I can just rant for hours about how I was just so personally, viscerally disappointed with how that series ended (made all the worse because I had several years of investment in it). As a disclaimer, I still like my favorite characters and the side story "No Regrets" will always be **Chef's Kiss** but yeah...you could not pay me to watch or read it ever again.

But again, disclaimer, that's just me. It's my cousin's favorite anime of all time, and he loved the ending. Everyone's different.

As for anything else from fandoms I actually talk about...I'm not sure there is anything. Like everyone with an online presence, I have definitely been disturbed, appalled, and otherwise very upset by things I've seen on the internet, but that's what the block button is for (and I know it's all peace, love, & good vibes around here, but I block aggressively, actively, and unapologetically when the situation warrants it). As a general rule though, I try not to let what other people think get to me and ruin the things I love, and in that way, I don't think I have ever had a situation where something was just completely 100% ruined for me by a terrible fic, toxic fandom, or anon hatred ect. ect. I have certainly distanced myself from certain pairings and certain fandoms because of that, but I wouldn't say any of them have ever reached the level of "I can't stand it now." If anything, I sometimes feel a little contrary and dig my heels in on that thing in a petty revenge, "Well in that case, I'll just like this more" kind of way, if that makes sense?

All of that said, I have no patience for nasty, toxic fandom environments, and I stay away from those even if it's a media I really like i.e. you mentioned MHA in one of your salty asks...I wrote my one platonic friendship fic and got the hell outta there (nothing bad happened to me but it just wasn't worth it to take any chances). But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it in real life and sometimes talk about it with my sisters and irl friends. I just don't want to discuss it online. It's not worth the headache & drama.

I definitely get fandom fatigue sometimes where the aggressiveness and toxicity of the fans of a certain pairing or character I already don't like just intensifies my dislike for that thing. But that's really only ever happened with things I already don't like or don't have an opinion on at all, which I don't think that really fits the prompt here.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Fairy Tail: The anime-only Celestial Spirit Arc by a landslide. It was so boring and had so many pacing issues. I literally fell asleep during it and didn't even both going back. I'm also super bitter towards that arc because my sister got so bored during it that she quit the anime (right before getting the best arc Tartaros). I keep begging her to pick it up again and just skip the stupid Celestial Spirit Arc but she swears she is a completionist and would never be able to do it. So yeah. Can't stand that one! The only positive thing I could remotely say about it was that Levy on the game show was kind of entertaining, but overall the whole arc was kind of just like a boring bizarre dream I'd like to forget about.

For arcs that appeared in both the anime and manga, I really didn't like that flute arc (which a google search has informed me is actually called the "Eisenwald Arc"). I'm glad we got Gray and Erza introduced as characters, but the arc had a lot of pacing issues and just went on for way too way, imo. They could've wrapped things up a lot faster, also I just didn't get the whole "evil flute" thing--it was really random and kind of bizarre (also not the most well thought out plan in the world). I will say this arc gets more points than the Celestial Spirit Arc because my sister and I had so much fun making Kokushibo flute jokes.

Black Clover: Gotta go with the anime only arc here too because again, it was boring and didn't have a lot of bearing on the series as a whole. It also felt like a major let down after the high stakes of the Elf Arc. Honestly just not a fan of that one.

If I had to pick a manga arc...uh...I honestly don't know. Maybe the Sosshi village arc? But only because I thought it was better in the anime where they really took the time to flesh out Magna's backstory. It felt more rushed in the manga, but I don't dislike it as much as that anime only one.

If I can pick a character arc, freaking FINRAL'S!! Like what happened here?! It was so, so good...until it wasn't. I JUST CAN'T WITH THE AMOUNT OF REGRESSION. It makes me want to beat my head against the wall even more than he is! But I think this was about story arcs, not characters arc so I'll refrain from ranting here.

25. Would you change the ending of Demon Slayer?

This is kind of a complicated one. My sister and I were just talking about this because she feels there was too much character death, but I feel it was a justified and appropriate amount for the high stakes of the series (even if it was devastating). So for the sake of this discussion, let's assume that the author had a "character death quota" (or a set number of characters who were going to be killed off by the end of the series). If that was the case, I would have axed Uzui at the end of the Entertainment District Arc and saved Genya in the final arc.

If there was a believable/reasonable way that Muichiro could have gone into god-mode and defeated Kokushibo without dying, I would have saved him too, having Uzui take his "death slot." Then I would have saved Genya by having Sanemi die to protect him (which would have been a much more satisfying ending to his arc, in my opinion).

As sad as the other deaths were (*weeps about ObaMitsu*) Muichiro and Genya were children. While it's realistic for them to die, it's especially tragic, and if I got to rewrite the ending, I would prioritize saving them.

Though to be perfectly fair, I would have been much happier with the ending if Uzui had died in the Entertainment District Arc and any of our heroes who died in the final battle survived instead. I'll forever be salty that Uzui of all people somehow managed to survive to the end when so many others did not, especially since his arc had already wrapped up and him dying in the Entertainment District would have been a satisfying conclusion to his story whereas so many other characters who did get axed had storylines that felt unfinished (Genya especially).

Also, Himejima should have played the flute at Kokushibo causing him to lose his cool in the infinity castle so much faster. I'm really upset this didn't happen. (Kidding but I would’ve loved to see him just go completely unhinged over the flute. I make way too many Kokushibo flute jokes…)

[cookinguptales]

That last post I just reblogged was fascinating to me because it was obviously a joke but it actually lined up so well with a common PMDD symptom of mine that I was writing about it in the tags. Then I kind of thought about it again and realized OP doesn’t deserve all that in the tags of their joke post so like. I guess I’ll put those thoughts here instead.

(under a cut, cw: frank discussion of mental illness)

Like I’ll warn here that I’m about to talk about mental illness in some pretty explicit terms. I have Premenstrual Dysphoria Disorder (in addition to Major Depressive Disorder) and for the most part I have a pretty good handle on it. My depression is treatment resistant, but I did some hormonal treatments for years to help with that, my endometriosis, and my menstruation-induced EDS complications.

(Have you ever had menstrual cramps so bad that it dislocated your hips and ribs? I have! Every goddamn month lmao.)

About a year and a half ago, I had to stop taking the hormones because they were honestly making certain things worse, so I had to kind of just. Figure out other ways to deal with it. Working with a doctor, a regimen of cannabis tea and ketamine has helped a lot with the physical symptoms, and has helped some with the emotional symptoms. It’s still not perfect (still get bad days sometimes) but my suicidality is way better than it was.

(People with PMDD are apparently estimated to attempt suicide seven times more than the general AFAB population so like. I guess that’s something to keep in mind.)

That said, my ketamine regimen was fucked up recently because of some issues at the doctor’s office and uh. Well, I’m still kind of building the levels back up. The past few periods have been very rough for me. Mostly physically, but I’ve had some emotional issues, too.

This month, my PMDD has been… I guess not as severe as it was in the past, but boy is it lingering. I’ve been very jittery, very anxious, prone to bad mental loops, etc. It’s been about a week at this point, which is on the long side, but you just gotta tough it out, right?

(Don’t worry, guys, I do know when to reach out for help when symptoms get bad, and have done it before in the past.)

Anyway… one of my least favorite symptoms has come out to play and I’m Dealing with it but I hate itttt. It’s the one that the post reminded me of! And that’s the one where you feel guilty for wanting people to love you.

I think… when you’re dealing with something difficult alone, it’s very normal to fantasize about someone helping you through it. Telling you you’re not a bad person, that they love you, hugging you, etc. Normal stuff like that. I think people sometimes use fictional characters, sometimes real people who love them (like family/friends), sometimes people they make up in their head, etc. I think fantasizing about comfort is fairly normal.

But when you’re in the trenches, your mind is like No It Is Not Normal It Is Bad. I have to remind myself that like… in some ways, it’s kind of like an abusive relationship. During bad PMDD spells, my mind wants to hurt me, it wants to kill me, and it wants to separate me from my support systems. Your brain tells you that burdening others with your feelings is Bad and you are Bad for doing it.

This makes it hard to reach out for help when you need it (again, I do know how to do that, I am safe, I know that I have people who would come to my house right now if I needed them to — and failing that, I do know how emergency mental health intake works, too) but also like… it often gets to the point where you feel like a terrible person for even wanting to be loved.

Like — this is hard to explain, so here’s a sample spiral.

(cw: mental illness, suicide mention. I’m going to try and be as realistic as possible here and that might be troubling for some readers.)

I am feeling bad. I am sad and anxious and scared and feel like I am worthless. I want someone to hold me and tell me they love me. I imagine a person I like doing this. I then think — no, you are a bad person. They would not want to do this. You are putting the burden of your feelings on some unsuspecting person again. It is unfair to use a real person as a mental support. You are forcing them into a situation they did not consent to, and you are using them as a crutch. You are a bad, selfish person and they would hate you if they knew you were doing this. You are asking for too much from the people around you; how dare you ask for love and support? You are worthless and no one will love you and imagining them loving you is unfair to them and frankly very invasive. You are being parasitical right now. Stop imagining people doing things they’d never want to do, you’re such a bad person. Don’t you care about their boundaries? Of course you don’t, you always hurt people because you’re selfish and bad and no one will ever like you. So stop imagining them liking you! Just kill yourself and get it over with, etc. You are a bad thing and bad things should go away and you should stop existing. Stop writing RPF about the people you like, that’s even worse than the crime of just being you. Just kill yourself.

And honestly, this will probably go on for a couple hours and there will probably be a lot of crying. >.> It’s good to keep electrolyte solution around because dehydration just makes it worse.

I’ve dealt with MDD for almost my entire life, but PMDD is… different. There’s a sort of exhausted doneness with MDD, like you don’t want to kill yourself, necessarily, you just want to stop existing. PMDD is different. There’s a very loud, very manic aggression to it. Your brain is very actively trying to kill you. I don’t know how else to put it. It’s like being in a crowd of people all screaming at you at once until you cry, and then screaming at you for crying. There is a mob in your head and it hates you.

It is… very, very loud and very difficult to drown out. I can usually catch the warning signs and head things off before I get into a spiral. Going for a walk is good. Helps break the cycle. Creating is good, too. Makes me feel productive and useful to others, which is a whole other can of worms, but it is effective. And if all else fails, I usually weaponize my hyperfixations lmao. Start up an old video game that I know will take all my focus, or start a new tv show that I know I’ll get fannish about, whatever.

This month has been hard because, frankly, it took me by surprise. It’s a little earlier than it should be and I haven’t had to deal with it as much in the past six months, so I guess I got out of the habit. I didn’t notice that I was starting to get kind of stressed and anxious over small stuff and was beating myself up for feeling normal human emotions. This is usually the big warning sign to me. I will latch onto a negative feeling I’m having and feel very guilty about it. I scratch at it like a healing scab. Then the spirals starts. So I have to keep a watch out for that.

But… like I said, I do tend to withdraw and feel guilty about talking about these things. I feel guilty for wanting to depend on others because I feel like that’s asking too much, a miserable person like me demanding attention from people who are too good for me. And once I start withdrawing into myself and not talking to those around me, things get worse.

Like I said!!! Your brain is abusive and it wants to separate you from your support system — so it makes you feel like a bad person for even wanting a support system.

(I find that it helps, actually, to frame it like that. I can tell that my thoughts are starting to get irrational and it’s like “oh, THIS asshole is back to say mean things to me again.”)

So… idk, I’m trying to talk about it. I figure that I tagged this post appropriately and put multiple warnings on it, so anyone who is reading this wants to be here. Maybe out of curiosity, maybe out of support, maybe because they deal with these things, too. idk.

I’m basically telling my mean brain that fuck you, it’s good to talk about my feelings and no one hates me for it.

Because… this is the big thing… I was thinking about that one Tumblr post… the one that was like “the me in your head is nice to you, right?”

I want the me in your head to be so nice to you. I want the me in your head to hold you and tell you you’re a good person and that I love you. Even if I don’t know you. I want the me in your head to be so damn comforting.

I love the idea of being a comfort to people. That’s… why I write so much of why I write, I think. There’s nothing that chokes me up like finding out I’ve managed to comfort someone that I don’t even know. Is there anything more beautiful than comforting and supporting others in this bitch of a world?

NO we gotta be kind.

So… if I want the me in your head to be so, so kind, why do I feel so guilty for wanting the you in my head to be nice to me, too? Why do I feel like I am so innately unlovable that even fantasizing about someone loving me could stain them somehow? Like I will stain their clothes with my own awfulness.

I DON’T. I don’t feel that way. I have been doing so much better lately. I have been reaching out to people and doing fun things and spending time with people and thinking about loving people and them loving me back. I’ve thought about people loving me!!! And I’ve started to have the creeping hope that it could happen! That I am worthy of love.

Guys, I’ve been better. I know that all sounds like not much, but it’s been so easy for me to convince myself that no one will ever love me because I’m sick, I’m disabled, I’m unattractive, I’m unkind, I’m cringe, I’m annoying, I’m selfish, etc. It’s been so easy for me to find a million excuses for why I, out of all the people on this earth, will never be loved.

So… feeling hope that that’s not true is actually a very big thing for me, and something that I’ve been delighting in recently.

All the things in my head are fake and mean and… you know, hormones. That’s all.

Idk, this was meant to be a discussion of one small part of PMDD but I guess it ended up being a ramble about a lot of things. I’ll admit that it’s much more difficult for me to be focused and eloquent when I’m dealing with these symptoms. I had a moment where I wanted to apologize to anyone still reading this, but — instead I’ll thank you for spending your time with my words. For whatever reason you decided to do it, for whatever reason you’re still here, I appreciate that you did it.

I want the version of you in my head to be nice. And I want to thank you for being nice. And I want to be nice to you, too.

In conclusion

Now I’m gonna go take my medication and be quiet for a while.

[rollercoasterwords]

hey rae, i’m experiencing a bit of a moral dilemma (ish) bc like… i’ve always more or less had this view that its wrong on some level to like “police” people on the kind of media they are creating, even mainstream tbh and now… well… let’s just say a little bee flew in rather aggressively into my eardrums and it won’t stop buzzing about the moral implications and suddenly the pretty stable ground that i was standing on is slowing crumbling beneath my feet but like… that’s okay??? i’m accepting the fall bc i’m actually always thrilled to free fall. that is to say, i love the way things around me can make me question my own ideas of what i believe to be true sometimes like i love love love it. i love looking at smth ekth a new lens and more information and then yk, rebuilding thag ground with more stable material. anyways, sry i’m rambling, but you see, everything this bee was buzzing abt started to increasingly make more sense and like, i started to rly think about it in the way of like… evaluating the consequences right? like if a specific media trope has very real contributions to a stigma abt a certain group and manifests in the society in multiple ways, then rly, why can’t i condemn it? bc the way i used to look at it was like “well yes, the media is harmful, but like, i also don’t think we have the right to dictate other people’s liberties when it come to art”. but now… especially considering that this “art” is mainstream and like reaches millions of people, why tf not? bc when you rly put it on the scale, what has more weight, ppl being mad/annoyed that engaging with this is “bad” and they shouldn’t/ being limited in creating it or ppl suffering the real life implications of this. and to make myself a little clearer, the specific thing thag kinda made me realize this more was how media a lot of the times portrays certain mental illness in an overly negative and harmful way, and how in thrn, society discriminates against those individuals in part bc of the skewed perception thag media has portrayed about them. and i feel like this kinda of made me like… think more about this view that i used to defend strongly, and kinda of go, wait, hold up… and i’m still a little like… conflicted bc as much as like i say this, i don’t think there are any viable means of like combatting this issue bc at the end of the day, what creators for mainstream media want is money and these things get them money and so it’s never rly gonna stop, and i still am a little iffy on the idea thag it’s essentially like… an objective moral no no, but like i can see the other side more clearly and it’s just… man it’s so frustrating in a way. and like as much as some ppl may engage with their media critically and liek recognize these stereotypes and shit, a majority of ppl don’t and it’s so frustrating to see itttt. but yeah, idk im still like… gathering materials before fully building this floor, but like, what are your thoughts on this if any? (i’m literally going to everyone with this i an truly a menace, i need to talkkkk abt it like the way this brings me so much joy) (unfortunately i don’t have many ppl in my life that care or are willing to talk to me abt these things) (enter: rae)

hello!! interesting questions!! love that u are embracing the freefall of having a core belief challenged + opening urself to new ways of thinking rather than growing defensive + closing urself off!!

so, what i wanna start off by saying here is this: there is a very broad middle ground between "this art is bad and shouldn't exist/shouldn't be interacted with at all" versus "everyone should just create whatever they want with disregard for the consequences."

because different forms of art are going to be doing different things, reaching different audiences, and sending different messages. and there are plenty of ways that art/literature/media/etc can be harmful. for example, this recent open letter to the new york times is a great example of a critique on the way in which the nytimes' coverage of trans "issues" causes real-life harm to trans people. in this sort of instance, it's not okay for the nytimes to just continue writing as they have, however they want, because they have certain journalistic responsibilites which include not promoting/perpetuating harm against marginalized groups (not that they have an especially great track record in that regard, but i digress). part of critically evaluating media is evaluating whether that media has harmful real-life implications, and, if it does, figuring out whether/how to engage with that media in a way that does not perpetuate that harm.

so like--with the example you're talking about, portrayals of mental illness that contribute to stigma. part of evaluating those portrayals is going to start with asking what kind of media you're looking at, who it's reaching, and what it's trying to do. for example--a movie made by a large hollywood studio that's profiting off a stigmatizing portrayal of mental illness, reaching a broad audience, and contributing to widespread misconceptions is tangibly harmful, and it makes sense to vocally critique that portrayal or perhaps even encourage people not to engage with the movie at all, as it is profiting off something harmful. additionally, hollywood movies are invested in perpetuating a capitalist system such that they will often have an underlying goal of spreading messages/ideas that support that capitalist system, so there is much more to be wary of there in the intent of the media.

a fanfiction on the internet written by an individual that contains a stigmatizing portrayal of mental illness is something that is not accruing profit, not reaching a broad audience, and not harmful in the same way. an individual writing fanfiction on the internet is also not invested in perpetuating broader systems of capitalistic power in the same way a hollywood movie studio is, so the intent of their art is likely different. a better route here is probably to reach out to the individual, who probably wrote this portrayal out of ignorance and would most likely be open to educating themself and avoiding such portrayals in the future. this is a better response than trying to "cancel" the person completely, because it works to build community and has a much more direct impact in breaking the stigma around mental illness by educating an individual who previously internalized those stigmatized views.

when you're trying to critically evaluate a piece of media that contains something you view as potentially harmful, here are some important questions to ask:

who is making this? why are they making it? what is the stated goal of the creator(s) in creating this specific piece of media? are there any other goals that the creator is leaving unsaid?

who is the intended audience of this media? how large is that audience? in what ways is this media catered to appeal to that audience? what responsibilities does the creator hold towards that audience? will the audience response be monolithic, or is there room for varied impact amongst members of the same audience?

is this media a lecture or a conversation? is this media presenting a moral truth that i am expected to accept? or is it presenting moral questions and encouraging me to draw my own conclusions?

what role does profit play in the creation + distribution of this media? what systems of power is this media invested in upholding, if any? what institutions is this media invested in upholding, if any?

these are all questions which, depending on the answers, are going to change your evaluation on the media. this post kind of sums up what i mean, and i talk more here about when art becomes truly harmful. but also, i want to emphasize--engaging with media critically and coming to the conclusion that something is harmful is not the same thing as policing media, at least in my opinion. policing implies reinforcing set rules for how someone can or cannot create/engage with media, which doesn't allow for the necessary flexibility needed for actual critical thought. i think it's also important to note that policing typically says "if this media is Bad, you must destroy it/ignore it completely." but critically engaging with media means acknowledging harmful media when it exists, and analyzing why it exists + what it's trying to do. it also means acknowledging that not all media is going to fit cleanly into the harmful/harmless dichotomy. sometimes media will contain harmful stereotypes or stigmatizing portrayals in one sense, and really important representation or progressive ideas in another sense. other times, a portrayal that feels stigmatizing to one person will feel like representation to another. part of engaging critically with media means evaluating what it's doing as a whole and accounting for both the good and the bad. at the end of the day, we can't solve problems by refusing to engage with them at all, y'know?

[forever-a-misfit]

7.15.2023

wow, shit is crazy. 

this is the first time in YEARS that I hop on my laptop & immediately decide to check my tumblr. dont get me wrong, i still have the app on my phone & check it every now & then; but i feel like its not the same experience as it once was when i was younger.

i went through my blog, pictures & hashtags. wow, how i’ve changed. clearly ive grown a lot & continued with my progressive & radical ways hahaha. i was such a baby back then talking about “wild” ideas while everyone continued to soak in their ignorance. basically no one has a chance anymore. you either grow or leave me alone.

anyways.

i’m not here to rant, this post is more for my personal time capsule than it is anything else. i doubt anyone will read this anyways, i just be talking to myself. unfortunately girl, A LOT has changed. just last week one of the worst moments of my life happened. i really lost 1/2 of me.

there are seriously no words for that kinda loss. the funeral’s not till August & i’m terrified of what ill become after that day. the mourning period seems to have passed but i really think im going to break down all over again when that day comes.

idk what else to really say here, but i needed to write something & get it outside of my head for a while. it feels nice to hear those “clickity clacks” from the keyboard hahahaha. i do wish i had the strength to journal it all out but sadly my wrist still be buggin. at least i still have tumblr. man tumblr was really THAT GORL back in the days, i miss her :( i used to come on here to post whatever bullshit i liked, had online mutuals for YEARS & was so young & carefree. now this fucking bag of bricks ripped open over my head, it made me feel the pain that my teenage brain thought it had already experienced.

there’s always the good & the bad to growing up. i’ve finally reached the level of being a woman that i’ve always wanted to. happily single for idk how many years now hahaha. been at my job for 4 going on 5 years (even though that might change soon) but sadly i haven’t gone back to finish school. man i miss college. i also really miss the great friends i met there. i hope theyre doing well. the downside to all of this is: life really smacked the shit outta me recently that nothing i’ve learned & gone through can help me out in this moment. yeah yeah yeah i know i’m strong or whatever, but like????????? 

okay now it’s starting to sound like a rant HAHAHAHAHAHA i be lyyyying

okay okay foreal now. if you managed to read all this thanks. i dont know if anything made sense but as i mentioned before, it’s for me & my digital time capsule. 

also, don’t come at me for not capitalizing certain words/letters, i’m not here for a fucking grade hahahaha if you’ve seen my previous text posts, most aren’t properly typed out anyways. idc

well Phia i hope shit gets better. <3

[ 7.6.19** - 7.5.2023 ] te voy a extranar 

[hunniebunnietarot]

Featuring my smudged little drawings. Enjoy!

Also, I know the drawing won't be for everybody, I just wanted to do something creative.

Pile 1

This person is very knowledgeable, could possibly be more on the spiritual side. They value family alot and will be protective if you should ever create your own family together. They are independent in their decision making, especially when it comes to work matters. Their competitive nature shines through when they have an opportunity to further themselves. I’m also haering they’ll do anything to protect those that they love. They’re a great problem solver, not in an “authoritative” kind of way but instead more in a nurturing and soft manner. This person obviously has duality when it comes to their personal life and professional life; At work they are very serious and cutthroat then at home a more calm and sweet personality. They could have a certain level of discontentment with the work that they do but they still work very hard as a sacrifice for the family that you two (could) have together. They are very selfless and family oriented. Your future spouse is very good, they know how to have a successful partnership, aware that sacrifice is required from both parties sometimes to reach complete satisfaction. The word “safe” keeps resurfacing in my mind, this person is the definition of a protector. They quite like taking on this role, they are going to want to be the one in the relationship that takes the lead. They don’t like sharing “power” so if you’re the kind of person that is more dominant there might be a power struggle between you two.

(Possible) Physical Appearance

Red Aura

-A big smile

-Dyed hair

-Glowy skin

-Skinny

-Muscular

-Tall

-Full lips

Pile 2

This is an intelligent person, more logic minded. They could seem very guarded to you when you two first meet, could be an air sign. They aren’t easy to open up and are very stuck in their ways; a stubborn nature. Your future spouse could be a bad communicator because of overthinking(?). They have a different thought process than most which could be because of some kind of condition or mental illness. Even though they are quiet and guarded, they have a good heart. They are generous, maybe even give away second chances easily. Could be a “Everyone deserves a second chance” kind of nature. They’re very proud of their achievements and the knowledge that they’ve gained through their pursuit of higher education and through their work. They’re passionate about learning and investing in themselves. Since they are more of the observing type they tend to see past whatever facade people put up. This person typically has good judgment when it comes to other people, or even could have a talent in reading people They don’t like dictator personalities, people who don’t have good intentions when it comes to other; so they tend to have an inclination to fight for good, to challenge those in authority positions and hold them accountable. They could be an activist of some sort, or work at some kind of non-profit organization.

(Possible) Physical Appearance

Green Aura

-Defined cupid's bow

-Tall

-Tattoos

-Intimidating

-Nose piercing

-Has a beard

-Baby face

Pile 3

This person is confident and sure of themselves, I'm getting fire energy from them(fire sign). When they go through bad situations they go through them, it’s very bad and they feel very down. Putting pressure on them would definitely make them spiral into a depressive episode, completely the opposite of their usually confident demeanor. They’re successful in financial matters, content in the success they have thus far. They could be impulsive, maybe even short-tempered. The thing I described before could suggest that their emotions switch at the blink of an eye. They could be vengeful, meaning they don’t ever forfeit someone that does wrong by them. They assess and make a plan to get back at people because they believe in equality(obviously something they could work on). They have the capability to change these “negative” aspects of themselves, and they probably will by the time you two come into union. This person may live at a distance from you, or they just like to travel and could want to take trips with you often. 

(Possible) Physical Appearance

(Pls ignore my failed attempt at drawing forehead wrinkles lol)

Purple/Violet Aura

-Short

-Dimples

-Forehead wrinkles

-Mature figure

-Thin lips

-Dark cirlces

-Defined cupid's bow

Pile 4

This person likes the outdoors, they find their peace of mind there. They could find it difficult to understand people that think outside of the box or just someone that has different ideals than them. The cause of this is their confidence in how they think, so it’s not easy to change that. They will defend their beliefs because they see it as what’s “right”. They really love what they do for a living, it gives them complete fulfillment so they put their all into it to reap the best benefits. Seriously, they really do get into lots of arguments/conflict because they believe their way is the only way. They’re a workaholic, so they do not like taking breaks from work. Your future spouse clearly lacks balance in their life as a result. They may have grown up with little to nothing, so it is their top priority to secure stability.

(Possible) Physical Appearance

Green Aura

-Stand out birth mark/beauty mark

-Clef chin

-Thick neck

-Freckles

-Wears glasses

-Hairy arms

-Chubby

This took so long, I hope this resonates for some.

[jasminesilk]

Nightmare Legacy Challenge for the Sims 4

Rules written by @matchacake, challenge inspired by @lilsimsie‘s current LP over on her YouTube channel!

The challenge is simple – complete 10 sim generations with the same family, but on short lifespan! Complete the challenge on story mode or nightmare mode for even more suffering!

Disclaimer: This is by no means a new take on the classic legacy challenge, and I’m sure there are many other challenges out there that are very similar! I’ve just been binge-watching lilsimsie’s current LP whilst suffering a bad flare-up of my chronic illness and felt so inspired that I pulled out my old gaming laptop so I could play something similar in bed! Now that I’m going into gen 2 I thought I would write up some rules that I could personally follow, and have decided to share them here with you. xo

- rules and more info below the cut -

Create the Founder:

Use the story function in CAS to create your founder. (For this, I recommend being as random as possible with your answers to the quiz. Don’t even look at them if you can avert your gaze as you click, choose only the top answers, only the middle ones, etc.)

Must be a YA.

Founder must be a mortal (no supernaturals).

You can randomly create multiple sims doing this and pick your favorite as your founder if you wish. You CANNOT however change their traits/aspiration once you leave CAS, so keep that in mind!*

Pets are allowed but not recommended.

Getting Started:

Move your single sim into a starter home that they can afford (no free real estate cheat) either furnished (story mode) or unfurnished (nightmare mode).

Once you've moved in and are settled, cheat household funds down to 0. If playing on nightmare mode you are allowed to keep 1800, but it must be used on furnishing your house. Household funds must be less than 100 when you click that play button!

Don’t forget to put lifespan on short!

Optional: Turn off aging for unplayed households. This isn’t required, but will help keep your sims worlds full and lively since they all die so quickly on short lifespan.

Story Mode Goals:

Complete your aspiration before becoming an elder.

Reach level 10 of your career.

Max 2 skills.

Have at least one child.

Nightmare Mode Goals:

Complete two aspirations in your lifetime. You may switch between them as you go. *If playing on this mode: Once you leave CAS with your founder you can pick any other aspiration you like to be their second, but it CANNOT be in the same aspirational category (ie. if your sim has the soulmate aspiration, you cannot also give them the serial romantic aspiration).

Reach level 10 of your career.

Max 3 skills.

Have at least one child.

Challenge Rules to Follow:

As with most challenges, cheats (unless otherwise specified) are not allowed!

You cannot move another sim into your household unless they are your fiancee/spouse.

All future children must be given traits with the randomizer (no picking and choosing for yourself).

Number of children each generation has is completely up to you. Keep in mind certain aspirations will require you to have multiple kids!

Next gen heir must also be picked randomly. Have them roll, pick names out of a hat, etc.

Your next gen starts as soon as you complete all goals and your heir is a young adult!

Do this for 10 generations, but each generation heir MUST have a different aspiration and career. All traits can be used more than once (as we have such a limited supply to begin with).

You may use the potion of youth if you can afford it, but it can only be used ONCE PER GENERATION and only on adults or elders (no young adults). For Nightmare Mode, you may only use the potion of youth if your sim is already an elder and close to passing (this is mainly so your sims have at least SOME time with their grandparents since elders on short lifespan pass away so quickly).

I’m still playtesting this challenge myself, so please check this post for any possible updates I may make! My one tip for this challenge would be to embrace the randomness :) Good luck and happy simming. xo

ps. Use the hashtag #nightmarelegacy so I can see your gameplay!

[wordsnstuff]

10 Mistakes to Avoid When Writing About Mental Illness

Patreon || Ko-Fi || Masterlist || Work In Progress

–

Reinforcing Stereotypes

This goes without saying, but neurodivergent people (and characters) each experience and cope with their mental illnesses differently. Schizophrenia is not simply hallucinations. Depression is not simply feeling suicidal. Anxiety is not simply consistent fear or unease. Your character, depending on what causes/triggers their symptoms, will present their mental illnesses differently, both on the inside and outside. A person’s experience of mental illness is affected by their environment, their background, their priorities, their personality, and their other struggles. Reflect this in their story, rather than reading a long list of general symptoms and checking them off in your draft. 

1 Symptom Sally

Mental illness affects every aspect of an individual’s life. It’s more complicated and far-reaching than simply “having a harder time than everyone else”. Depression, for instance, is frequently portrayed with an acute emphasis on the symptoms of fatigue, lack of motivation, and sadness. However, depression has a lot of symptoms that many aren’t aware are connected to the illness, such as executive dysfunction, irritability, and sickness. Even those with a general diagnosis of a mental illness aren’t going to have that diagnosis just because they feel sad a lot of the time. There must be more, and it must be shown.  

Romanticizing Suicide

There’s a delicate balance between depicting the reality and gravity of suicidal thoughts/ideation and making it sound appealing. If you’re reading a story, narrated by a character who has suicidal tendencies, it’s inevitable that their thought process will justify or rationalize those thoughts. Approach this with care, and remember that as a writer, you have influence over your readers (whether intentionally or not), and you should prioritize the responsibility you have to avoid romanticizing suicide over the task of portraying it accurately. Some things simply hurt more than they help. 

Generalizing Experiences

Mental illness is inconsistent. Some people display two or three symptoms that are easily recognized, but some experience symptoms most don’t even associate with those illnesses at all. For example, generalized anxiety disorder can present in individuals with a more physically debilitating set of effects, rather than primarily manifesting in feelings of fear or unease. Yes, anxiety is the state of being anxious, but it can also be sensory overload, executive dysfunction, flu-like illness, and fatigue. Every mental illness is unique to the individual who struggles with it, so be aware that your characters should be representing that reality as well. 

Ignoring Coping Mechanisms

Most people who have a mental illness that has progressed to the point of seeking a diagnosis and perhaps treatment have established various levels of coping mechanisms. These can be things like substance abuse or self harm, but they can also be more subtle, like hyper-fixation on media they like or excessive reliance on friends or family. If you’re going to write a character with a mental illness, you should know what they have to do to get through the day. What exercises have they adopted to adapt to their situation? What effect have these mechanisms had on their lifestyle and relationships?

Illnesses Having No Effect On Relationships

Mental illness, especially after having struggled with them for a long period, affects who we are, how we behave and interact, and changes our priorities and thought process. It’s inevitable that it will impact our relationships with other people. In order to accurately depict this experience, you have to also know the characters on the other side, who are maintaining a relationship with your neurodivergent character. What are their thoughts on mental health? How well do they understand what your character is experiencing? Are they more likely to want to be there for or distance themselves from the character because of their mental illness? Strain on relationships can be a very distinct part of a neurodivergent person’s experience with mental illness, and it’s important to represent that. The stigma is still very real and shows up regularly, even in little ways, and in a more accommodating world.

Extreme Cases Only

Some people experience mental illness on a chronic level, others do not. There’s Seasonal Affective Disorder, which tends to only present symptoms in certain periods of the year for various reasons, for example. It could be classified as a “less severe” form of depression, and it’s very common. Not all depression is the same, and it doesn’t always result in severe cases of suicidal ideation or self harm. If you only depict characters in the most extreme cases, who experience their symptoms at the highest level at all times, you may be reinforcing stereotypes about neurodivergence that have taken decades to dismantle. Not everyone with mental illness has an extreme case, and pretending they do can reinforce the idea that all neurodivergent people are “crazy”. 

Good Days vs. Bad Days

Neurodivergent individuals usually experience their symptoms on a wide spectrum of severity. There are good and bad days, and everything in between. Sure, some days, one may experience virtually no symptoms and be very happy and productive, and be totally unable to maintain their composure on others. However, the majority of the time is occupied by a middle ground. Days where a person isn’t constantly on the verge of a panic attack, but they struggle to accomplish their typical agenda, and they feel a variety of symptoms at noticeable, but more manageable level. Symptoms can also intensify steadily and endure for variable periods of time. 

Curing Mental Illness With Romance

Let me say this clearly, and insist you don’t argue: mental illness cannot be cured by a relationship. I admit that new relationships or positive attention can offset symptoms, but if a character’s mental illness (such as depression or anxiety) miraculously resolves because a new partner comes into their life, they either weren’t mentally ill in the first place, or you have misunderstood mental illness. There can be months or even years where someone can go without experiencing their symptoms at a noticeable level, but they will always be neurodivergent, and a new partner isn’t going to change that. That portrayal minimizes the experience of mental illness and trivializes symptoms people suffer with every single day. Do not do this. Please. Just don’t. You can say your character has prolonged period of sadness, but you cannot slap the word “depression” on them, then have all their symptoms disappear because they’ve got a hot date.

Not Every Illness Is Caused By Trauma

This is simply a point of knowledge more writers should have a grasp of. Mental illness can be caused by genetics, chemical imbalances, deficiencies, severe and prolonged stress, longterm health conditions, social isolation or loneliness, etc. It’s natural that in a fictional story where mental illness may be an important aspect, that trauma is one of the more sensational causes to apply to your character, but if you have a cast with diverse experiences of neurodivergence, it’s unlikely that all of them will have a basis in trauma. Neurodivergence is not a one-size-fits-all. 

–

Masterlist | WIP Blog

If you enjoy my blog and wish for it to continue being updated frequently and for me to continue putting my energy toward answering your questions, please consider Buying Me A Coffee, or pledging your support on Patreon, where I offer early access and exclusive benefits for only $5/month.

Shoutout to my $15+ patrons, Jade Ashley and Douglas S.!

[peach-astrology]

Neptune in the houses.

Neptune in the first house:

1)Charisma even with the wrong facial features,which blooms especially brightly in the photo.This is the position of the planet had Marilyn Monroe.

2)Falling in love with an unattainable object – a movie actor,a singer,an inaccessible beauty,for example,the one in the mirror:)

3)They have a certain taste that they design on clothing and the interior of the house.I often meet such people with blue or green eyes.

4)They are very friendly and compassionate.They can be the people to talk to and cry to.

5)With bad aspects,a person may have mental illness.

Neptune in the second house:

1)They are prone to reckless spending,they can spend their entire salary on a certain thing that they literally "fell in love"with.

2)With a strong position of the planet and the absence of negative aspects,the native can really achieve success and earn good money in art,chemistry and medicine.

3)Big money can come to them in an unusual or unexpected way.And also mysteriously disappear...

4)When Neptune is affected,people can feel a lot of guilt,even where they were not at fault.

5)I really recommend keeping a money-book.This way your money will be under your guidance.There is no other way to work out this position of the planet.

Neptune in the third house:

1)It is most convenient for such people to learn through pictures and examples from life.They may not count well in their minds,for example.(But you still need to look at Mercury)

2)They can be good writers,bloggers,or singers.

3)Because of problems in the parent family,such a person often lives with one of the relatives.

4)When the planet is hit,a person can be absent-minded,do poorly in school,be very shy and have bad relationships with siblings.

5)With a strong Neptune,a person can be a good teacher(he feels other people when talking)

Neptune in the fourth house:

1)A person has problems with one of the parents who may have liked alcohol or illegal substances.Or he died early.Often,such people may still have a parent who is ill with something,who needed a lot of care.

2)Their parents may have been of different nationalities.Their house often had guests.

3)With bad aspects,a person could run away from home or leave it at an early age.

4)They relax through privacy.During this time,you can draw,meditate,or watch a movie.

5)This position of Neptune is good for social workers who are able to realize their talents for the common good,preferably within a large organization that will give them a lot of clients,colleagues and suitable motivation for their work.

Neptune in the fifth house:

1)Low self-esteem or,conversely,skillful psychological manipulation of others.

2)If the position of the planet is not worked out,a person can turn his head from the beloved.He can idealize his image,add too much romance.

3)By nature,human is a very gentle,kind and merciful person.He has charisma and sex appeal.

4)They could be very troubled children.

5)Pregnant women with this situation should be VERY careful to monitor their health.

Neptune in the sixth house:

1)They may have unusual allergies or just a large number.

2)Their health can directly depend on the cleanliness of the house and their food.

3)They should not rely on others.Not everyone works honestly and correctly.Also PLEASE respect yourself and don't help everyone.

4)The best solution for a native is to work from home or to reach the level of a manager yourself,when you don't have to spend time on routine duties.And in order to build a successful business relationship,it is important to give up the use of alcohol and psychotropic drugs,because such a person gets used to them instantly.

5)With a weak Mars in the natal chart,there is idleness and a desire to frequently change the place of residence.

Neptune in the seventh house:

1)With a harmonious Neptune in the 7th house,the native radiates the energy of love and subconsciously waits for acceptance and sympathy when getting married,moving to a new job and entering a University.

2)When the planet is affected,idealistic expectations turn into broken dreams:it is difficult to join the team,do not accept it as it is,you have to sacrifice your interests.

3)Their partner may suffer from some kind of mental disorder and the person will help to cure it.

4)Such people need to learn to read their feelings and be able to make final decisions.

5)When choosing a job,a person should carefully study the personality of the manager,so as not to experience emotional abuse.

Neptune in the eighth house:

1)You have a very active imagination and a powerful imagination.You may have an interest in the supernatural,psychic phenomena,or the occult.You may have strange fantasies,vague fears of ghosts and death,so it is best not to engage in such things until you are firmly on your feet in the material world.

2)Prone to seeing strange dreams and nightmares.Often suffers from insomnia,may end up in a dream or under anesthesia.

3)Must keep track of the family's finances,their partner may have spent too much money.

4)Their relatives have occult abilities(maybe a human too).

5)Neptune is the most passive planet and sexually it leads to deep and Platonic love.Sex and bodily pleasures are not in the first place for him,the main thing is emotions and tenderness.

Neptune in the ninth house:

1)The karmic task is not to allow yourself to become a "stranger among your own",forgetting about the roots and national traditions,maintaining a balance between the desire for reform and respect for history.

2)He is actively interested in educational programs and social reforms.He likes to study and shows the ability to learn foreign languages,and strives to help people deprived of their freedom.

3)The defeat of the planet creates a danger of ignoring professional training and determines difficulties in communicating with relatives of a partner.

4)Very often such people are very demanding in love.

5)The advice is to deal with your thoughts and ideas.You can't combine incompatible things.Spend more time meditating and being alone to make important decisions.

Neptune in the tenth house:

1)Their work must be creative for career growth.

2)The weak position of the planet provokes intrigues and intrigues of colleagues and strained relations with the boss,and in a strong position,the sharpened intuition of the native will help to get away with it.

3)If their work is normal,they can modify it.For example,such a teacher can teach in an unusual way,and simply differ from others.

4)In a good position a person can give good advice.

5)Your father was a unique person, different from other people, or unpredictable in dealing with you. Perhaps his views were unstable or he was too headstrong, but in any case, he created his own unique life. You may have been separated from it, either literally or figuratively. By interacting with it, you have learned the need to stand firmly on your own two feet, not depend on anyone, and this imprint has formed one of the basic attitudes to life that you will follow as an adult.

Neptune in the eleventh house: 

1)In love,an incorrigible romantic.

2)When Neptune is stricken,it has unreliable friends.They should choose their environment carefully even at work.

3)Even the owner of Neptune in the 11th house often has low self-esteem,is shy to show their talents,hides in the shadow of others.Having a fine mental organization,it is vital for him to learn to punch his way with his elbows,so as not to be trampled by the crowd.

4)You can read people's feelings,but you can't distinguish between friend and foe.Paradox.

5)You are the friendliest of all houses!

Neptune in the twelfth house:

1)Such people often hide their feelings and attachments.

2)Like the sixth house you need to value yourself and your time and not help everyone.

3)There are a lot of talents not only in creativity,but also in other areas of life.

4)They literally feel the money,intuition saves them from bad deals.

5)They like not to respond to messages for a long time,not because of resentment,but simply because they are resting or sleeping ahaha.

[tennessoui]

I absolutely love your KUWSK snippets and had to read them all after discovering the first part on ao3! (I should also work but I'm non stop giggling instead)

May I ask for: anakin being stressed out (big deadline coming up, handling the kids, work & cooking being too much) so obi-wan wants to help him out? Like he tries to cook for the family for once but I remember you saying that he can't cook to save his life? maybe rope the twins into it as well as a nice bonding moment

hello!!!! i've been meaning to write this for ages and i kept getting side-tracked/didn't have the time to sit and write a proper ficlet, but I did today! Here's 1k now, and I'll post the whole thing tomorrow afternoon(ish) on ao3. I mis-remembered the prompt until it was too late to really change directions, but so this is more of a sick!fic than a stressed out!fic but I do promise KUWSK Obi-Wan does step in even when Anakin is not sick to help with the kids, the clean up after cooking, helping them with homework, keeping the house tidy etc etc

anyways here is the beginning of sick fic! (SET about a month before The Kiss, 2 years after Obi-Wan and Anakin and the twins move in together)

-

It’d be much easier to take care of Anakin when he’s sick if he would actually admit to being sick.

“Skywalkers don’t get sick,” he’d insisted just a day ago. Obi-Wan had raised a very pointed eyebrow towards the twins who are looking quite pathetic, sniffling in their beds and coughing into their fists.

“That’s their Amidala genes,” Anakin had said and then sneezed into his elbow.

Obi-Wan had known at that moment that the next few days would be very awful for everyone involved.

But Anakin is making it much worse than it has to be, he really is. Thank god it’s midterm week, so Obi-Wan can finagle his TAs into proctoring the exams. Thank god he has four TAs for his biggest lecture module, so that they can grade them all too, which means Obi-Wan just has to read through and mark up his capstone students’ midterm essays.

Which he can do from the comfort of his own house turned Emergency Skywalker Walk In Clinic.

The twins had woken up with a fever and a sore throat on Wednesday. They’d never been sick in the two or so years they had all lived together, and Obi-Wan, admittedly, had not known how to handle it.

Anakin, in a surprising twist of fate, had been much more level-headed about the whole thing. He’d called the school to let them know the twins wouldn’t be coming in, and had asked Obi-Wan to run to the pharmacy before his classes to pick up some meds for them. And perhaps a thermometer.

(“I can’t believe you’re forty-four and you don’t have a thermometer.”

“Well, that’s not fair. I have one in the kitchen.”

“That’s different and you know it--”

“Of course it's different, I was just theorizing that perhaps having a kitchen thermometer actually makes up for not having a person thermometer.”

“Yeah, and instead of giving the kids baths and changing their sheets, we can just baste them in their own fever juices too!”

“I’m going, I’m going.”)

He’d calmed down in the face of Anakin’s own composure, but then on the way to the pharmacy he’d listened to a podcast episode about devastating and lifelong effects certain illnesses can have on children, and he had managed to work himself up into a stressful tizzy by the time he parked the car.

The amount of products he’d bought, Obi-Wan can admit now, was a little over the top. Anakin had certainly laughed when he’d come back through the door, not even bothering to take his coat or shoes off--even though the no-shoes-inside rule is his rule--and started unpacking the four plastic bags worth of medical supplies.

“Well, now I’ll feel bad if the kids aren’t sick until June,” Anakin had said, picking up one of the cough syrups to examine the label.

“That kind will make them sleepy, but this kind tastes like grapes,” Obi-Wan had muttered. “And this kind is okay to give to children under four.”

“The kids are--”

“I know how old the kids are,” Obi-Wan had snapped. “This is called being prepared.”

“This is called diagnosable,” Anakin had laughed and then ducked out of the way when Obi-Wan chucks a package of band-aids--he’d panicked, okay--at his head. “Hey,” he’d said after a moment, coming forward and placing his hand on Obi-Wan’s elbow. The contact had burned through the layers of clothing he’s wearing. “They’re going to be fine, Obi-Wan, really. I’ll be home all day taking care of them, and I’ll make chicken noodle soup for dinner tonight.”

“I can make chicken noodle soup for dinner,” Obi-Wan had protested. “You don’t have to do everything.”

“Obi-Wan, they’re already sick,” Anakin had shaken his head with a grin. “The point is to try and feed them something they’d want to at least try to keep down.”

“I hate you,” Obi-Wan had sighed with a quirk of his lips.

“I love you,” Anakin had said, as if that was something he said on the regular, reaching out to take the thermometer from his hand. Obi-Wan’s grip had gone slack though, causing the thermometer to clatter to the counter. “Like a brother,” Anakin had tacked on hurriedly and then winced.

“Right,” Obi-Wan had coughed, wondering why the addendum made his chest feel tight and strange, like missing a step on the stairs. “Well. Yes. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” Anakin had said, looking even more mortified.

“Right. Ah. So. I’m. Going to campus. If the twins need anything else, please let me know. I’ll pick up whatever you need for...dinner on my way home. Just text me.”

“Will do,” Anakin had agreed, staring resolutely at the cabinets over Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “Bro.”

And to his credit, Anakin had texted him with a long list of things they’d need from the store.

He’d just also failed to mention his own rapidly declining health. Obi-Wan had arrived home to Anakin coughing up a storm in the dining room and the twins bundled up and bleary-eyed in front of the television.

The chicken soup had not been made that night because Obi-Wan had not allowed Anakin anywhere near the kitchen. Instead he’d fed the children toast and applesauce and let them keep watching their show until bedtime.

Anakin had been left alone for the most part, as Obi-Wan had been convinced that Anakin would see reason himself and stop working as he started feeling progressively worse.

That had, of course, been too much to expect.

“I can’t believe you’re twenty-eight and don’t know how to listen to your body when it’s trying to tell you you’re sick,” Obi-Wan had said, lowering and slowing his voice in a bad imitation of Anakin.

“I don’t sound like that!”

“You’re right, you couldn’t get through that whole sentence without coughing at the moment."

“I’m going to bed.”

“Please do. And for god sakes, Anakin, leave the laptop down here."

“Good night, Obi-Wan."

[iamshwee]

SHADOW WORK: The Ultimate Guide

I. Why Focusing Only on the Light is a Form of Escapism

For most of my life, I’ve grown up firmly believing that the only thing worthy of guiding me was “light” and “love.” Whether through the family environment I was raised in, or the cultural myths I was brought up clinging to, I once believed that all you really needed to do in life to be happy was to focus on everything beautiful, positive and spiritually “righteous.” I’m sure you were raised believing a similar story as well. It’s a sort of “Recipe for Well-Being.”

But a few years ago, after battling ongoing mental health issues, I realized something shocking:

I was wrong.

Not just wrong, but completely and utterly off the mark. Focusing only on “love and light” will not heal your wounds on a deep level. In fact, I’ve learned through a lot of heavy inner work, that not only is focusing solely on “holiness” in life one side of the equation, but it is actually a form of spiritually bypassing your deeper, darker problems that, let me assure you, almost definitely exist.

It is very easy and comfortable to focus only on the light side of life. So many people in today’s world follow this path. And while it might provide some temporary emotional support, it doesn’t reach to the depths of your being: it doesn’t transform you at a core level. Instead, it leaves you superficially hanging onto warm and fuzzy platitudes which sound nice, but don’t enact any real change.

What DOES touch the very depths of your being, however, is exploring your Shadow.

II. What is the Human Shadow?

In short, the human shadow is our dark side; our lost and forgotten disowned self. 

Your shadow is the place within you that contains all of your secrets, repressed feelings, primitive impulses, and parts deemed “unacceptable,” shameful, “sinful” or even “evil.” 

This dark place lurking within your unconscious mind also contains suppressed and rejected emotions such as rage, jealousy, hatred, greed, deceitfulness, and selfishness.

So where did the Shadow Self idea originate? The concept was originally coined and explored by Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst, Carl Jung. In Jung’s own words:

“Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual’s conscious life, the blacker and denser it is.”

When the human Shadow is shunned, it tends to undermine and sabotage our lives. Addictions, low self-esteem, mental illness, chronic illnesses, and various neuroses are all attributed to the Shadow Self. When our Shadows are suppressed or repressed in the unconscious long enough, they can even overtake our entire lives and causes psychosis or extreme forms of behavior like cheating on one’s partner or physically harming others. Intoxicants such as alcohol and drugs also have a tendency to unleash the Shadow.

Thankfully, there is a way to explore the Shadow and prevent it from devouring our existence, and that is called Shadow Work.

III. What is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is the process of exploring your inner darkness or “Shadow Self.” As mentioned previously, your Shadow Self is part of your unconscious mind and contains everything you feel ashamed of thinking and feeling, as well as every impulse, repressed idea, desire, fear, and perversion that for one reason or another, you have “locked away” consciously or unconsciously. Often this is done as a way of keeping yourself tame, likable, and “civilized” in the eyes of others.

Shadow work is the attempt to uncover everything that we have hidden and every part of us that has been disowned and rejected within our Shadow Selves. 

Why? Because without revealing to ourselves what we have hidden, we remain burdened with problems such as anger, guilt, shame, disgust, and grief.

All throughout the history of mankind Shadow Work has played a powerful yet mysterious and occult role in helping us discover what is causing us mental illness, physical dis-ease and even insanity resulting in crimes of all kinds.

Traditionally, Shadow Work fell in the realm of the Shamans, or medicine people, as well as the priests and priestesses of the archaic periods of history.  These days, Shadow Work falls more commonly in the realms of psychotherapy, with psychologists, psychiatrists, spiritual guides, and therapists.

IV. Do We All Have a Shadow Self?

Yes, we ALL have a Shadow Self.

As uncomfortable as it may sound, there is a dark side within every human being. Why is this the case? The reason why all human beings have a shadow is due to the way we were raised as human beings, often referred to as our ‘conditioning.’

“But I’m a good person! I don’t have a ‘shadow’ side,” you might be thinking. Well, the reality is that yes, you might be a good person. In fact, you might be the most generous, loving, and selfless person in the entire world. You might feed the hungry, save puppies, and donate half of your salary to the poor. But that doesn’t exclude you from having a Shadow. 

There are no exceptions here. 

The nature of being human is to possess both a light and a dark side, and we need to embrace that.

Sometimes, when people hear that they have a Shadow side (or when it is pointed out), there is a lot of denial. We have been taught to perceive ourselves in a very two-dimensional and limited way. We have been taught that only criminals, murderers, and thieves have a Shadow side.

This black and white thinking is one of the major causes of our suffering.

If the thought of having a Shadow side disturbs you, take a moment to consider whether you have developed an idealized self. 

Signs of an idealized self include attitudes such as:

·   “I’m not like those people, I’m better.”

·  “I have never strayed.”

·  “God is proud of me.”

·  “Criminals and wrongdoers aren’t human.”

·  “Everyone sees how good I am (even so, I have to remind them).”

·  “I’m a role model.”

·  “I should be validated and applauded for my good deeds.”

·  “I don’t have bad thoughts, so why do others?”

Such perceptions about oneself are unrealistic, unhealthy, and largely delusional. The only way to find inner peace, happiness, authentic love, self-fulfillment, and Illumination is to explore our Shadow.

V. How is Our Shadow Side Formed?

Your Shadow side is formed in childhood and is both (a) a product of natural ego development, and (b) a product of conditioning or socialization. Socialization is the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society.

When we are born, we are are all full of potential, with the ability to survive and develop in a variety of ways. As time goes on, we learn more and more to become a certain type of person. Slowly, due to our circumstances and preferences, we begin to adopt certain character traits and reject others. For example, if we are born into a family that shows little interpersonal warmth, we will develop personality traits that make us self-sufficient and perhaps standoffish or mind-oriented. If we are born into a family that rewards compliance and shuns rebellion, we will learn that being submissive works, and thus adopt that as part of our ego structure.

As authors and Jungian therapists, Steve Price and David Haynes write:

“But, as we develop our ego-personality, we also do something else at the same time. What has happened to all those parts of our original potential that we didn’t develop? They won’t just cease to exist: they will still be there, as potential or as partly developed, then rejected, personality attributes, and they will live on in the unconscious as an alternative to the waking ego. So, by the very act of creating a specifically delineated ego-personality, we have also created its opposite in the unconscious. This is the shadow. Everyone has one.”

As we can see, developing the Shadow Self is a natural part of development.

But you also formed an alter ego due to social conditioning, i.e. your parents, family members, teachers, friends, and society at large all contributed to your Shadow.

How?

Well here’s the thing: polite society operates under certain rules. In other words, certain behaviors and characteristics are approved of, while others are shunned. Take anger for example. Anger is an emotion that is commonly punished while growing up. Throwing tantrums, swearing, and destroying things was frowned upon by our parents and teachers. Therefore, many of us learned that expressing anger was not “OK.” Instead of being taught healthy ways to express our anger, we were punished sometimes physically (with smacks or being grounded), and often emotionally (withdrawal of love and affection).

There are countless behaviors, emotions, and beliefs that are rejected in society, and thus, are rejected by ourselves. In order to fit in, be accepted, approved, and loved, we learned to act a certain way. We adopted a role that would ensure our mental, emotional, and physical survival. But at the same time, wearing a mask has consequences. What happened to all the authentic, wild, socially taboo, or challenging parts of ourselves? They were trapped in the Shadow.

What happens as we grow up?

Through time, we learn to both enjoy, and despise, our socially-approved egos because, on the one hand, they make us feel good and “lovable,” but on the other hand, they feel phony and inhibited.

Therapist Steve Wolf has a perfect analogy that describes this process:

“Each of us is like Dorian Gray. We seek to present a beautiful, innocent face to the world; a kind, courteous demeanor; a youthful, intelligent image. And so, unknowingly but inevitably, we push away those qualities that do not fit the image, that does not enhance our self-esteem and make us stand proud but, instead, bring us shame and make us feel small. We shove into the dark cavern of the unconscious those feelings that make us uneasy — hatred, rage, jealousy, greed, competition, lust, shame — and those behaviors that are deemed wrong by the culture — addiction, laziness, aggression, dependency — thereby creating what could be called shadow content. Like Dorian’s painting, these qualities ultimately take on a life of their own, forming an invisible twin that lives just behind our life, or just beside it …”

But while the Shadow Self may be portrayed as our “evil twin,” it is not entirely full of “bad” stuff. There is actually gold to be found within the Shadow.

VI. What is the Golden Shadow?

Jung once states that “the shadow is ninety percent pure gold.” What this means is that there are many beautiful gifts offered to us by our Shadow side if we take the time to look. For example, so much of our creative potential is submerged within our darkness because we were taught when little to reject it.

Not everything within our Shadow is doom and gloom. In fact, the Shadow contains some of our most powerful gifts and talents, such as our artistic, sexual, competitive, innovative, and even intuitive aptitudes.

The ‘Golden Shadow’ also presents us with the opportunity for tremendous psychological and spiritual growth. By doing Shadow Work, we learn that every single emotion and wound that we possess has a gift to share with us. Even the most obnoxious, “ugly,” or shameful parts of ourselves provide a path back to Oneness. Such is the power of the Shadow – it is both a terrifying journey, but is ultimately a path to Enlightenment or Illumination. Every spiritual path needs Shadow Work to prevent the issues from happening that we’ll explore next.

VII. What Happens When You Reject Your Shadow?

When shadow-work is neglected, the soul feels dry, brittle, like an empty vessel. — S. Wolf

Rejecting, suppressing, denying, or disowning your Shadow, whether consciously or unconsciously, is a dangerous thing. The thing about the Shadow Self is that it seeks to be known. It yearns to be understood, explored, and integrated. It craves to be held in awareness. The longer the Shadow stays buried and locked in its jail cell deep within the unconscious, the more it will find opportunities to make you aware of its existence.

Both religion and modern spirituality tend to focus on the “love and light” aspects of spiritual growth to their own doom. 

This over-emphasis on the fluffy, transcendental, and feel-good elements of a spiritual awakening results in shallowness and phobia of whatever is too real, earthy, or dark.

Spiritually bypassing one’s inner darkness results in a whole range of serious issues. Some of the most common and reoccurring Shadow issues that appear in the spiritual/religious community include pedophilia among priests, financial manipulation of followers among gurus, and of course, megalomania, narcissism, and God complexes among spiritual teachers.

Other issues that arise when we reject our Shadow side can include:

·  Hypocrisy (believing and supporting one thing, but doing the other)

·  Lies and self-deceit (both towards oneself and others)

·  Uncontrollable bursts of rage/anger

·  Emotional and mental manipulation of others

·  Greed and addictions

·  Phobias and obsessive compulsions

·  Racist, sexist, homophobic, and other offensive behavior

·  Intense anxiety

·  Chronic psychosomatic illness

·  Depression (which can turn into suicidal tendencies)

·  Sexual perversion

·  Narcissistically inflated ego

·  Chaotic relationships with others

·  Self-loathing

·  Self-absorption

·  Self-sabotage

… and many others. This is by no means a comprehensive list (and there are likely many other issues out there). As we’ll learn next, one of the greatest ways we reject our Shadow is through psychological projection.

VIII. The Shadow and Projection (a Dangerous Mix)

One of the biggest forms of Shadow rejection is something called projection.

Projection is a term that refers to seeing things in others that are actually within ourselves.

When we pair projection and the Shadow Self together, we have a dangerous mix. Why? Because as psychotherapist Robert A. Johnson writes:

“We generally seek to punish that which reminds us most uncomfortable about the part of ourselves that we have not come to terms with, and we often ‘see’ these disowned qualities in the world around us.”

There are many different ways we ‘punish’ those who are mirrors of our Shadow qualities. We may criticize, reject, hate, dehumanize, or even in extreme cases, physically or psychologically seek to destroy them (think of countries who go at war with the “enemies”). None of us are innocent in this area. We have ALL projected parts of our rejected self onto others. In fact, Shadow projection is a major cause of relationship dysfunction and break down.

If we are seeking to bring peace, love, and meaning to our lives, we absolutely MUST reclaim these projections. Through Shadow Work, we can explore exactly what we have disowned.

IX. Twelve Benefits of Shadow Work

Firstly, I want to say that I have the highest respect for Shadow Work. It is the single most important path I’ve taken to uncover my core wounds, core beliefs, traumas, and projections. I have also observed how Shadow Work has helped to create profound clarity, understanding, harmony, acceptance, release, and inner peace in the lives of others. It is truly deep work that makes changes on the Soul level targeting the very roots of our issues, not just the superficial symptoms.

There is SO much to be gained from making Shadow Work a part of your life, and daily routine. Here are some of the most commonly experienced benefits:

1.     Deeper love and acceptance of yourself

2.     Better relationships with others, including your partner and children

3.     More confidence to be your authentic self

4.     More mental, emotional, and spiritual clarity

5.     Increased compassion/understanding for others = who you dislike

6.     Enhanced creativity

7.     Discovery of hidden gifts and talents

8.     Deepened understanding of your passions and ultimate life purpose

9.     Improved physical and mental health

10.   More courage to face the unknown and truly live life

11.   Access to your Soul or Higher Self

12.   A feeling of Wholeness

It’s important to remember that there are no quick fixes in Shadow Work, so these life-changing benefits don’t just happen overnight. But with persistence, they will eventually emerge and bless your life.

X. Seven Tips for Approaching Shadow Work

Before you begin Shadow Work, you need to assess whether you’re ready to embark on this journey. Not everyone is prepared for this deep work, and that’s fine. We’re all at different stages. So pay attention to the following questions and try to answer them honestly:

·        Have you practiced self-love yet?

o   If not, Shadow Work will be too overwhelming for you. I have starred this bullet point because it is essential for you to consider. Shadow Work should not be attempted by those who have poor self-worth or struggle with self-loathing. In other words: if you struggle with severely low self-esteem, please do not attempt Shadow Work. I emphatically warn you against doing it. Why? If you struggle with extremely poor self-worth, exploring your Shadow will likely make you feel ten times worse about yourself. Before you walk this path, you absolutely must establish a strong and healthy self-image. No, you don’t have to think you’re God’s gift to the world, but having average self-worth is important. Try taking this self-esteem test to explore whether you’re ready (but first, don’t forget to finish this article!).

·        Are you prepared to make time? 

o   Shadow Work is not a lukewarm practice. You are either all in or all out. Yes, it is important to take a break from it from time to time. But Shadow Work requires dedication, self-discipline, and persistence. Are you willing to intentionally carve out time each day to dedicate to it? Even just ten minutes a day is a good start.

·        Are you looking to be validated or to find the truth? 

o   As you probably know by now, Shadow Work isn’t about making you feel special. It isn’t like typical spiritual paths that are focused on the feel-good. No, Shadow Work can be brutal and extremely confronting. This is a path for truth seekers, not those who are seeking to be validated.

·        Seek to enter a calm and neutral space. 

o   It is important to try and relax when doing Shadow Work. Stress and judgmental or critical attitudes will inhibit the process. So please try to incorporate a calming meditation or mindfulness technique into whatever you do.

·        Understand that you are not your thoughts. 

o   You need to realize that you are not your thoughts for Shadow Work to be healing and liberating. Only from your calm and quiet Center (also known as your Soul) can you truly be aware of your Shadow aspects. By holding them in awareness, you will see them clearly for what they are, and realize that they ultimately don’t define you; they are simply rising and falling mental phenomena.

·        Practice self-compassion.

o   It is of paramount importance to incorporate compassion and self-acceptance into your Shadow Work practice. Without showing love and understanding to yourself, it is easy for Shadow Work to backfire and make you feel terrible. So focus on generating self-love and compassion, and you will be able to release any shame and embrace your humanity.

·        Record everything you find. 

o   Keep a written journal or personal diary in which you write down, or draw, your discoveries. Recording your dreams, observations, and analysis will help you to learn and grow more effectively. You’ll also be able to keep track of your process and make important connections.

 XI. How to Practice Shadow Work

There are many Shadow Work techniques and exercises out there. In this guide, I will provide a few to help you start off. I’ll also share a few examples from my own life:

1. Pay attention to your emotional reactions

In this practice, you’ll learn that what you give power to has power over you. Let me explain:

One Shadow Work practice I enjoy a great deal is paying attention to everything that shocks, disturbs, and secretly thrills me. Essentially, this practice is about finding out what I’ve given the power to in my life unconsciously, because: what we place importance in – whether good or bad – says a lot about us.

The reality is that what we react to, or what makes us angry and distressed, reveals extremely important information to us about ourselves.

For example, by following where my “demons” have taken me – whether in social media, family circles, workspaces, and public places – I have discovered two important things about myself. The first one is that I’m a control freak; I hate feeling vulnerable, powerless and weak . . . it quite simply scares the living hell out of me. How did I discover this? Through my intense dislike of witnessing rape scenes in movies and TV shows, my negative reaction to novel experiences (e.g. roller coaster rides, public speaking, etc.), as well as my discomfort surrounding sharing information about my life with others in conversations. Also, by following where my “demons” have guided me I’ve discovered that I’m being burdened by an exasperating guilt complex that I developed through my religious upbringing. Apart of me wants to feel unworthy because that is what I’ve developed a habit of feeling since childhood (e.g. “You’re a sinner,” “It’s your fault Jesus was crucified”), and therefore, that is what I secretly feel comfortable with feeling: unworthy. So my mind nit-picks anything I might have done “wrong,” and I’m left with the feeling of being “bad” – which I’m used to, but nevertheless, this is destructive for my well-being.

Thanks to this practice, I have welcomed more compassion, mindfulness, and forgiveness into my life.

Paying attention to your emotional reactions can help you to discover exactly how your core wounds are affecting you on a daily basis.

How to Pay Attention to Your Emotional Reactions

To effectively pay attention to your emotional reactions (I call it “following the trail of your inner demons”), you first need to cultivate:

1. Self-awareness

Without being conscious of what you’re doing, thinking, feeling, and saying, you won’t progress very far.

If, however, you are fairly certain that you’re self-aware (or enough to start the process), you will then need to:

2. Adopt an open mindset

You will need to have the courage and willingness to observe EVERYTHING uncomfortable you place importance in, and ask “why?” What do I mean by the phrase “placing importance in”? By this, I mean that, whatever riles, shocks, infuriates, disturbs and terrifies you, you must pay attention to. Closely.

Likely, you will discover patterns constantly emerging in your life. For example, you might be outraged or embarrassed every time sex appears in a TV show or movie you like (possibly revealing sexual repression or mistaken beliefs about sex that you’ve adopted throughout life). Or you might be terrified of seeing death or dead people (possibly revealing your resistance to the nature of life or childhood trauma). Or you might be disgusted by alternative political, sexual, and spiritual lifestyles (possibly revealing your hidden desire to do the same).

There are so many possibilities out there, and I encourage you to go slowly, take your time, and one by one pick through what you place importance in.

“But I DON’T place importance in gross, bad or disturbing things in life, how could I? I don’t care for them!” you might be asking.

Well, think for a moment. If you didn’t place so much importance on what makes you angry, disgusted or upset . . . why would you be reacting to it so much? The moment you emotionally react to something is the moment you have given that thing power over you. Only that which doesn’t stir up emotions in us is not important to us.

See what you respond to and listen to what your Shadow is trying to teach you.

2. Artistically Express Your Shadow Self

Art is the highest form of self-expression and is also a great way to allow your Shadow to manifest itself.  Psychologists often use art therapy as a way to help patients explore their inner selves.

Start by allowing yourself to feel (or drawing on any existing) dark emotions. Choose an art medium that calls to you such as pen and pencil, watercolor, crayon, acrylic paint, scrapbooking, sculpting, etc. and draw what you feel. You don’t need to consider yourself an ‘artist’ to benefit from this activity. You don’t even need to plan what you’ll create. Just let your hands, pen, pencil, or paintbrush do the talking. The more spontaneous, the better. Artistic expression can reveal a lot about your obscure darker half. Psychologist Carl Jung (who conceptualized the Shadow Self idea) was even famous for using mandalas in his therapy sessions.

3. Start a Project

The act of creation can be intensely frustrating and can give birth to some of your darker elements such as impatience, anger, blood-thirsty competitiveness, and self-doubt. At the same time, starting a project also allows you to experience feelings of fulfillment and joy.

If you don’t already have a personal project that you’re undertaking (such as building something, writing a book, composing music, mastering a new skill), find something you would love to start doing. Using self-awareness and self-exploration during the process of creation, you will be able to reap deeper insights into your darkness. Ask yourself constantly, “What am I feeling and why?” Notice the strong emotions that arise during the act of creation, both good and bad. You will likely be surprised by what you find!

For example, as a person who considers myself non-competitive, that assumption has been challenged by the act of writing this blog. Thanks to this project, the Shadow within me of ruthless competitiveness has shown its face, allowing me to understand myself more deeply.

4. Write a Story or Keep a Shadow Journal

Goethe’s story Faust is, in my opinion, one of the best works featuring the meeting of an ego and his Shadow Self.  His story details the life of a Professor who becomes so separated and overwhelmed by his Shadow that he comes to the verge of suicide, only to realize that the redemption of the ego is solely possible if the Shadow is redeemed at the same time.

Write a story where you project your Shadow elements onto the characters – this is a great way to learn more about your inner darkness.  If stories aren’t your thing, keeping a journal or diary every day can shine a light on the darker elements of your nature.  Reading through your dark thoughts and emotions can help you to recover the balance you need in life by accepting both light and dark emotions within you.

5. Explore Your Shadow Archetypes

We have several Shadow varieties, also called Shadow Archetypes. These archetypes are sometimes defined as:

·        The Sorcerer/Alchemist

·        The Dictator

·        The Victim

·        The Shadow Witch

·        The Addict

·        The Idiot

·        The Trickster

·        The Destroyer

·        The Slave

·        The Shadow Mother

·        The Hag

·        The Hermit

However, I have my own Shadow Archetype classification, which I will include below.

13 Shadow Archetypes

Here are my thirteen classifications which are based on my own self-observations and analysis of others:

1.  The Egotistical Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: arrogance, egocentricity, pompousness, inconsiderateness, self-indulgence, narcissism, excessive pride.

2.  The Neurotic Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: paranoia, obsessiveness, suspiciousness, finicky, demanding, compulsive behavior.

3.  The Untrustworthy Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: secretive, impulsive, frivolous, irresponsible, deceitful, unreliable.

4.  The Emotionally Unstable Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: moody, melodramatic, weepy, overemotional, impulsive, changeable.

5.  The Controlling Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: suspicious, jealous, possessive, bossy, obsessive.

6.  The Cynical Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: negative, overcritical, patronizing, resentful, cantankerous.

7.  The Wrathful Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: ruthless, vengeful, bitchy, quick-tempered, quarrelsome.

8.  The Rigid Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: uptight, intolerant, racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic, obstinate, uncompromising, inflexible, narrow-minded.

9.  The Glib Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: superficial, cunning, inconsistent, sly, crafty.

10.  The Cold Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: emotionally detached, distant, indifferent, uncaring, unexcited.

11.  The Perverted Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: masochistic, lewd, sadistic, vulgar, libidinous.

12.  The Cowardly Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: weak-willed, passive, timid, fearful.

13.  The Immature Shadow

This Shadow Archetype displays the following characteristics: puerile, childish, illogical, simpleminded, vacuous.

Keep in mind that the above Shadow Archetypes are by no means exhaustive. I’m sure that there are many others out there which I have missed. But you are free to use this breakdown to help you explore your own Shadows. You’re also welcome to add to this list or create your own Shadow Archetypes, which I highly encourage. For example, you might possess a judgmental and dogmatic Shadow who you call “The Nun,” or a sexually deviant Shadow who you call “The Deviant.” Play around with some words and labels, and see what suits your Shadows the best.

6. Have an Inner Conversation

Also known as “Inner Dialogue,” or as Carl Jung phrased it, “Active Imagination,” having a conversation with your Shadow is an easy way to learn from it.

I understand if you might feel a twinge of skepticism towards this practice right now. After all, we are taught that “only crazy people talk to themselves.” But inner dialogue is regularly used in psychotherapy as a way to help people communicate with the various subpersonalities that they have – and we all possess various faces and sides of our ego.

One easy way to practice inner dialogue is to sit in a quiet place, close your eyes, and tune into the present moment. Then, think of a question you would like to ask your Shadow, and silently speak it within your mind. Wait a few moments and see if you ‘hear’ or ‘see’ an answer. Record anything that arises and reflect on it. It is even possible to carry on a conversation with your Shadow using this method. Just ensure that you have an open mindset. In other words, don’t try to control what is being said, just let it flow naturally. You will likely be surprised by the answers you receive!

Visualization is another helpful way of engaging in inner dialogue. I recommend bringing to mind images of dark forests, caves, holes in the ground, or the ocean as these all represent the unconscious mind. Always ensure that you enter and exit your visualization in the same manner, e.g. if you are walking down a path, make sure you walk back up the path. Or if you open a particular door, make sure you open the same door when returning back to normal consciousness. This practice will help to draw you effortlessly in and out of visualizations.

7. Use the Mirror Technique

As we have learned, projection is a technique of the Shadow that helps us to avoid what we have disowned. However, we don’t only project the deeper and darker aspects of ourselves onto others, we also project our light and positive attributes as well. For example, a person may be attracted to another who displays fierce self-assertiveness, not realizing that this quality is what they long to reunite with inside themselves. Another common example (this time negative) is judgmentalism. How many times have you heard someone say “he/she is so judgmental!” Ironically, the very person saying this doesn’t realize that calling another person ‘judgmental’ is actually pronouncing a judgment against them and revealing their own judgmental nature.

The Mirror Technique is the process of uncovering our projections. To practice this technique, we must adopt a mindful and honest approach towards the world: we need to be prepared to own that which we have disowned! Being radically truthful with ourselves can be difficult, so it does require practice. But essentially, we must adopt the mindset that other people are our mirrors. We must understand that those around us serve as the perfect canvas onto which we project all of our unconscious desires and fears.

Start this practice by examining your thoughts and feelings about those you come in contact with. Pay attention to moments when you’re emotionally triggered and ask yourself “am I projecting anything?” Remember: it is also possible to project our own qualities onto another person who really does possess the qualities. Psychologists sometimes refer to this as “projecting onto reality.” For example, we might project our rage onto another person who is, in fact, a rage-filled person. Or we might project our jealousy onto another who genuinely is jealous.

Ask yourself, “What is mine, what is theirs, and what is both of ours?” Not every triggering situation reveals a projection, but they more than often do. Also, look for things you love and adore about others, and uncover the hidden projections there.

The Mirror Technique will help you to shed a lot of light onto Shadow qualities that you have rejected, suppressed, repressed, or disowned. On a side note, you might also like to read about a similar practice called mirror work which helps you to come face-to-face with your own denied aspects.

XII. Shadow Work Q&A

Here are some commonly asked questions about shadow work:

What is shadow work?

Shadow work is the psychological and spiritual practice of exploring our dark side or the ‘shadowy’ part of our nature. We all possess a place within us that contains our secrets, repressed feelings, shameful memories, impulses, and parts that are deemed “unacceptable” and “ugly.” This is our dark side or shadow self – and it is often symbolized as a monster, devil, or ferocious wild animal.

How to do shadow work?

There are many ways to practice shadow work. Some of the most powerful and effective techniques include journaling, artistically expressing your dark side (also known as art therapy), using a mirror to connect with this part of you (mirror work), guided meditations, exploring your projections, and examining your shadow archetypes.

What is the spiritual shadow?

There is light and darkness within all areas of life, and spirituality is not exempt. The spiritual shadow is what occurs when we fall into the traps of spiritual materialism – a phenomenon where we use spirituality to boost our egos and become arrogant, self-absorbed, and even narcissistic.

XIII. Shadow Self -Test

https://lonerwolf.com/shadow-self-test/

As passionate proponents of Shadow Work, we have created a free Shadow Self test on this website for you to take. Like any test, take it with a grain of salt and use your own analysis to ultimately determine how ‘dominant’ your Shadow is in your life. Please remember that tests online cannot be 100% accurate, so see it as a fun self-discovery tool. And note: those who receive a “small Shadow Self” answer still need to do Shadow Work. No person is exempt. ;)

XIV. Own Your Shadow and You Will Own Your Life

If you are looking for some serious, authentic and long-lived healing in your life, Shadow Work is the perfect way to experience profound inner transformation. Remember that what you internalize is almost always externalized in one form or another.

Own your shadow and you will own your life.

Here are some final inspiring words:

“The secret is out: all of us, no exceptions, have qualities we won’t let anyone see, including ourselves – our Shadow. If we face up to our dark side, our life can be energized. If not, there is the devil to pay. This is one of life’s most urgent projects. — Larry Dossey (Healing Words)”

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we are not really living. Growth demands a temporary surrender of security.” — Gail Sheehy

“Who has not at one time or another felt a sourness, wrath, selfishness, envy and pride, which he could not tell what to do with, or how to bear, rising up in him without his consent, casting a blackness over all his thoughts … It is exceeding good and beneficial to us to discover this dark, disordered fire of our soul; because when rightly known and rightly dealt with, it can as well be made the foundation of heaven as it is of hell. — William Law”

“To confront a person with his own shadow is to show him his own light. — Carl Jung”

[b00ket]

Hi World building time ❤️

Theres no fucking way after 20 years of lackluster rule and poor handling of a deadly disease would there NOT be a revolution. I’ll assess each section of Vesuvia individually to say how each handled Lucio’s rule and some better explanations to each. Along with some head canons. (Ngl some head canons deserve their own post to get people’s opinion ill make those later)

Heart District:

So this district holds the wealthy influencial people. Not much to say on protests or intentional corruption— in fact this place was most likely the source of corruption. Nobles are just as influential in shifting Lucio’s interests in Vesuvia as his consul.

Any funds or upkeep dedicated to places like the Flooded District were instead funneled into the Heart District. This place is leech for funding.

Heart District is the least diverse out of all parts of the city, with the usual monolith of the rich it is no doubt the rich intentionally widened the gap between other parts of the city and them, using Gold Grave to intentionally separate the poorer South End.

Visually a magical place. Very clean and red has since been a color of bad luck since the plague as discovery of what gave the red dye its vibrancy.

Education and Literacy are in the highest percentage here. (90% literacy) private teachers are a standard here. Along with plenty of public libraries.

The leech problem of the canals may be a myth if you live here. The eels show more of a threat (don’t worry they’ve hired people to handle those)

Center City:

The middle class and poor are in a mix here. The middle class being closer to the Heart District.

Lucio’s spies he most likely employed to learn about thoughts of descent and punish accordingly no doubt taught the people living there to stay quiet. Protests and gripes of the Count were shifted from verbal to books, art, music, and slang to refer to certain things. (Ex. The Parrot -> Count, Hounds -> Spies)

However the thoughts of unhappiness have only grown and become more concentrated as funds were even being shifted from them to the Heart District.

Education and Literacy are in a lower percentage here but still rather high. (40% literacy) The occasional private teacher was nothing unusual in the richer families, but most knowledge of reading and writing is now based from person to person.

Goldgrave:

Don’t have many thoughts on this one.

The creativity of this section of the city made spies ineffective.

Any pulled funding only made their creative ways to lampoon the Count stronger. Most books and music expressing anti government sentiment most likely came from here and spread. Literacy is higher here as well. (50% literacy) but these people are usually older and don’t have the patience to teach young thespians how to read a script

A sizable portion actually enjoys the lack luster rule (these are typically people who were deeply entrenched in the underground Red Market)

These people actually enjoyed the public executions. They were dramatic! And who doesn’t love drama.

South End

As shown in the game, sneaky and heavily dislike the government.

Similiar to Goldgrave, spies didn’t work.

Lack of funding only strengthened the illegal trade of goods that brought their own funding to this part of the city. (One reason they didn’t reach the same fate as the Flooded District)

The sense of loyalty and interconnectedness is strong here. Everyone knows the other.

Symbols are everywhere on the walls. While these could be mistaken for the graffiti of the Flooded District, these mean something to those involved in the Red Market. Signs for shop owners who are involved, places to leave deliveries etc. litter the walls.

Canals are often covered in boards for walking but guards remove these (just to fuck with people or to maintain law? Who knows)

Most new immigrants find a place here before moving to other parts of the city, though some do stay.

Temple District

The giving of money offerings and reliance on the rich religious Heart District citizens have left this part of the city well off despite being surrounded by the Flooded District and ash beach.

Religious leaders were Vesuvian red, showing the gods are on their side for them to avoid death. Many hold a negative opinion of Lucio, his disrespect of the dead being the core reason (he let Valdemar go ham with corpses and fed them to the plague beetles)

The poor are ignored. Though certain buildings host food banks and homes for the poor, they are growing more rare as Heart District regulars are pressuring for the removal of the homeless from the streets.

Flooded District

These people are bitter. They used to be the Shopping District, funding flowed through freely and they were well taken care of. The people here have a concentrated hatred for the Count.

Portions of the District are flooded, builders deciding to go up to avoid the sea floor. The constant erosion from waves threatens the stability of many of these buildings.

Makeshift bridges line the streets and some have been made to walk across buildings whose floor is below sea level. The water is teeming with leeches and eels (a blood drained rotting corpse or two is not uncommon.) and is generally dirty.

Funding is non existent here. And with the new areas of natural economy and trading being shifted away from them, its starting to resemble Ash Beach more by the day as more people abandon it. (To move to places of the city with more opportunity)

The plague wiping out large portions of the population. Increased moisture from flooded waters made the infection worse. Rodents and roaches quickly becoming a common sight. Parts of the district are said to be haunted, people with too much time on their hands go to investigate.

Graffiti is everywhere here. Abandoned houses lined with the vandalism of young people. Symbols are here as well, mostly obsolete as they were to mark off which places had infected/dead people (head-canon: not everyone wanted to be shipped to death island). Newer ones mark which buildings are too unstable to build or take refuge in.

Ash Beach

The smallest of all sections. Only a little larger than the lazaret.

The wiki does a great job of describing this place actually.

Also covered in graffiti with a distinctly younger style. There’s no meaning to them so they are more wild and colorful. Some magic circles have been made in the walls and floor. Most of them used to exude heat to keep warm.

Gangs made of children are common here. Has a Peter Pan vibe.

Less friendly gangs of sailors and washed up people also are here.

A bit more a communal energy to how people live.