#also idk how accurate i actually am
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my stp brainrot has combined with my casual interest in historical dress youtube and I decided to draw the Princess in a more historically-inspired outfit than her original design
If anyone's curious, her outfit/hairstyle is supposed to be from around 1828 ("around" bc my main reference/inspiration was definitely from 1828 but I had so many tabs open with different inspo images from nearby years and I don't remember which ones I actually used. also did you know it is surprisingly difficult to search for royal portraiture from a specific year) because based on some cursory googling, it seemed a lot of the elements of her canon base dress (off-the-shoulder, sweetheart neckline, poofy sleeves, straight waistline around the natural waist, skirt that isn't super full/poofy) seemed historically plausible for that time period
I also drew her hair in a more historically-accurate style for the period (but don't ask me exactly what's going on there because I'm not entirely sure myself) but I kept her canon tiara because it seemed plausible enough. anyway this was really fun to do!!!
#i had to stop myself from calling this a ''historically accurate Princess'' or whatever#bc shes not supposed to be from any point in history shes just like. the Idea of a Princess#also idk how accurate i actually am#im certainly no expert!#i just think historical clothing is neat :)#i couldve gone for something more medieval since the concept of ''fairy tale princess'' is very ''medieval-as-filtered-through-victorian''#but i just. didnt wanna do that. so its 1820s/30s#slay the princess#slay the princess fanart#stp princess#scribblebard#also if anyone looking at this doesnt know slay the princess:#a) you should really play slay the princess its a good game#b) i did not choose the big silly anime eyes she just looks like that#and i wanted to draw her as close to her canon appearance (or. *a* canon appearance??) as possible aside from the deliberate changes i made#i was feeling bummed that this wasnt getting any notes but then i realized i saved it as a draft instead of posting lol
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don't you want to be a cult leader? - danyal al ghul au
this is mostly a joke post but i thought it was funny and had to share so--
his first mistake was, obviously, inheriting his father's inability to see an injustice and stand still. -- actually, danyal's first mistake was his lair being so big. a mountainous island with a large temple in the center resembling his old home in Nanda Parbat? With sprawling foliage and rivers and streams and waterfalls galore? What was he going to do with all that space? Let it go to waste? He had plants there! Native trees of the ghost zone growing from the soil! He couldn't let it all be left unchecked!
So naturally after helping a fellow teenage assassin ghost -- who he later learns is named Akihiko, -- from Walker of all people, he sent them over to hang low at his lair until it was safe enough for them to wander around the Zone. Walker couldn't get through Danyal's astrofield if his life depended on it, and trust him -- he's tried. Danny was clearing out debris from his stupid transport vans for weeks.
Honestly it wasn't so bad, he and Aki really quickly became fast friends and Danny loves having a sparring partner close to his level again -- he hasn't had this much fun fighting since he left the League. Aki was very dedicated and levelheaded, the both of them clicked really well because of it.
Nonono, the real trouble began after Danyal met some long-passed League members and allowed them to come join his island as well. Apparently they had made a few enemies of the zone, and maybe Danyal still felt some loyalty to the League. He couldn't just let them be left to rot. Their zealotry could be overlooked so long as they kept it contained and helped him take care of his island.
And it.. snowballs from there? He meets a teen squire aptly calling himself Ambroise -- whether that was his living name or not is yet to be seen -- who died during feudal france, who is just about as dramatic and passionate as every french stereotype makes them out to be. He calls Danyal "my moon and great muse" -- which is both flattering and little uncomfortable, but Danyal's grown up in the League as the Grandson of the Demon Head, he is used to mild worship. he passes it off as nothing more, nothing less. -- and while his energy is overwhelming on the worst of days, he helps Danny draw out of his shell more in ways that Sam and Tucker still struggle with.
Him and Aki butt heads a lot, but the two seem to hold the other in at least some positive regard, so Danny doesn't worry too much about them fighting while he's gone. It only becomes a mild issue when Aki also begins calling Danny "my moon". It's a little sweet, so Danyal brushes it off.
Then he takes in a troupe of ghosts some time after he defeats Pariah Dark and they begin calling him "great one" just as the yetis do in the far frozen. This is where he meets the twins -- a pair of sibling ghosts who call themselves Trixie and Missy (short for Trick and Mislead) -- who aren't quite as passionate as Ambroise but more energetic than Aki. Eventually they also start calling Danyal "my moon" and attach themselves to his hip, even within the living. They like to hide in his shadow and cause trouble for the rest of the students. He makes sure they don't hurt anyone.
He's pretty sure Aki is jealous, same with Ambroise, but he can't be too certain other than the fact that they become much more lingering (re: clingy) whenever he visits the island.. Something he's trying to do much more often these days due to the increasing amount of people living there now. Since when did he become so popular?
Then there's Pēnelópeia from the Greater Athens, who ran away from home and joined his Island after he ran into her while she was being chased by Skulker -- and he's pretty sure the reason was because of her chimeric appearance. Her strange eyes and mismatched wings and lion's tail and talons. She assimilates into his friend group very easily, she gets along well with Ambroise and Trixie and Danny usually finds the three of them climbing the trees to pluck the most fruit from the top. They can fly and he knows it, but they prefer to climb.
Then finally there's silent poet Akkara who comes from ancient mesopotamia, who gets along most with Aki -- which is no surprise there considering their similar personality dispositions. he watches Aki and Danyal fight each other and leaves comments on this or that that he notices. He writes Danyal poems on clay tablets and leaves them by his room.
They're one big mismatched group of outcasts, and Danny's got the other ghosts on his island to tend to, because they're living on his island and he wants to be hospitable even if he struggles with that. But he spends the most of his time with them.
Sam and Tucker are making fun of him. Tucker jokingly tells him 'careful Danny, at this rate you're gonna start a cult'. Danny really wishes he had taken that joke more seriously.
He just. keeps. collecting people. Wayward souls lost in the zone, looking for shelter or refuge from something or other -- whether that be another hostile ghost, or a past afterlife, or just a purpose. Danyal finds them, he takes them in, offers them a place on his island until they are ready to leave. Many seldom do. He's not complaining -- he has the space, and it feels like it's only ever growing.
His close friends, his "inner circle" as he's heard the others call them, keep insistently calling him "my moon". He starts calling them his stars, because then it only feels fair. They're his stars, this is his constellation. It becomes a thing; little star halos begin forming behind their heads, picking them out from the rest. He loves them so much, it's hard to place. Sam and Tucker are also his stars, but they reside in the living realm, they're his tie to Life. Meanwhile, his friends here know what it's like to be dead, and sometimes its nice to relate.
Those living on his island keep calling him "Great One" and he's beginning to notice zealotry in their care for his island. He really, deeply appreciates it. His close friends gain nicknames -- as his stars, it's only natural for him to pick them out from the cluster in the skies. Akihiko, his Sirius and bright star. Trix and Missy, Castor and Pollux, the twins and troublemakers. Ambroise, his zealous Antares and close friend. Penelopeia, chimeric and loyal Vega. And Akkara, his Arcturus and strength.
It's ridiculous how long it takes for him to notice; he is, of course, a deadly trained assassin. He is meant to be observant -- and normally he is! But somehow this becomes a blind spot. One that becomes too big to be dealt with by the time he realizes it.
He should've noticed when Aki, his Sirius, stood beside him one day while Danyal looked over his island and saw the sprawling spirits carrying on about their afterlife and bowing to him as they saw him, and said: "I looked down into the depths when I met you; I couldn't measure it." They aren't one for flowing prose, it took him so off guard he was silent for over a minute before he finally spoke.
Danyal should've recognized devotion for what it is, and yet he didn't. He should've recognized it when Antares began spouting praises about him, crowing about his radiance and resplendence to the heavens. He just brushed it off as Ambroise being Ambroise. He should've recognized it when Trix and Missy nearly broke Dash's leg after he knocked Danyal's books out of his hands, he excused it as them being protective. Of them coming from times where such violence may have been customary -- after all, that's what he used to be like. What he was still like, sometimes, when his emotions nearly got the better of him.
He should've noticed it when the people living on his island followed his word like gospel, looked at him like he hung the stars in the sky. When his friends gifted him a shawl with the moon phases delicately embroidered into it, with silver, shimmering thread and moving stars lovingly stitched into it. Their constellations seen clear as day in the dark fabric. When he found small shrines dedicated to him -- but they lacked any image of him beyond stones carved to look like moons, so he ignored it. When the religious imagery began popping up.
He really, really should've noticed it when a bunch of cultists accidentally summoned Antares, and Antares had turned to him when he arrived and called them heretics. But he was so centered on the fact that they had kidnapped one of his stars, that he hadn't paid much attention to what Ambroise had said.
Sages say that faith is blind, they should also say faith in you is even blinder.
It really only hits him one afternoon while he's sitting in Sam's room studying with Tucker, Missy and Trixie lounging at his feet, Aki sat on his right, Penelopeia braiding his hair, Ambroise draped against him, and Akkara lurking over him. Its one of the rare few times they're all in one room together.
It hits him like a bolt of lightning. He looks up from his textbook. "Oh Ancients," he says in no amounting shock. Everyone looks up to him.
"I've become my grandfather."
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc au#dp x dc au#dpxdc prompt#ive been playing cult of the lamb recently and you can tell#anyways i thought this was funny to think about. its specifically danyal al ghul bc that makes it even funnier#tfw you accidentally become a cult leader. rip to you danny you have a cult following#not at ALL an accurate depiction of a cult but i still think its funny. innaccurate cult depictions. ur in too deep to change it now danno#sam and tucker: hey dude... this is a cult | danny still learning how to People: what. no. these are all my friends and refugees.#his inner circle are all Insane about him they just show it in different ways. Sirius is as equally zealous as the rest they just don't#show it as much. which has mistakenly convinced danyal that they are the more logical one. no danny. they would kill for you#danny: i am being hospitable | sam: you created a cult | danny: i am being hosPITABLE#i dont like ghost king aus but i love danny being in positions of power it just has to feel earned. 'accidental kingdom acquisition' is my#favorite trope it just has to be done correctly. 🫵 build that bitch up with your bare hands and not realize until its too late you fool#'becoming a world power by accident and im in too deep to back out now'#danyal. a raised assassin (has no threshold for normal behavior): *sees utter devotion towards him* yeah this is fine and normal.#danyal: yk i dont see this ending horribly. *goes and collects more followers* yeah this is totally cool. welcome to the constellation#danyal: *saves a few people and houses them in his lair* (everyone liked that [to a worrying degree actually])#his inner circle: my moon! | danny: my stars :]#danny: ive become my grandfather. | danny: ... | danny: idk how to feel about that honestly.#those poor cultists that kidnapped antares were subjected to a 3hr tangent about 'the radiance of the Moon and his resplendent generosity'#before danyal found him and got him home. who were the cultists summoning? who knows! but they got Objectively the Worst out of the#constellation to summon by accident. actually they're all bad there's no picking who. they're all various amounts of Unhinged Danny just#Never Realizes It because he is also Unhinged and thinks some of this shit is normal.#like yeah thats totally normal behavior he has no questions whatsoever. this seems like Typical People Stuff.
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"Are the Robins child soldiers" It depends. If the story is super serious and into exploring complex morality and grounded from reality's standards, then yes. If the story is lighthearted, made for children, fluff, etc., then no. If it's somewhere in the middle, it might depend.
If an author wants to write a story seriously delving into the fucked up-ness of children fighting criminals, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.
If an author wants to write a fun story about villains and heroes featuring Robin in a world where that's not an issue, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.
If an author wants to write a serious story but not apply IRL-logic to Robin, they can, and if you don't like it, you can read something else.
#my dc posting#dc#batman#robin#bruce wayne#jason todd#dick grayson#tim drake#damian wayne#idk if i articulate it perfectly here but like... yall#yall.#when im watching lego: batman im not thinking of how horrific and irresponsible it is to take dick on the mission#like it is a movie for children i am there to have fun. in that moment i don't careee#but if i'm reading a fic that's dwelving deep into like jason todd's psyche and taking itself seriously w real-life accurate#psychology stuff then yeah i'm fine with also exploring how directly interfering with violent crime at such a young age might#actually affect a person's development#but like sometimes it's not that deep and robin's out there solving murders and kicking two-face's ass n havin fun doin it#just. there is nuance depending on the story being told#sometimes i'm in the mood for serious exploration of bruce's failings as a parent. sometimes i wanna read him bonding with his kids and#everything is fine.#you can have both!!!
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remembered today I have a Jeremy Knox board on Pinterest that I can add canon things to now
#it’s better quality if you click on it I swear idk why it looks like ass on my phone#I’m actually surprised at how accurate the fanon i had was#I made it in 2016#my jeremy did have brown hair so I am sorry to any blonde jeremy truthers#I also had boba (????) and#and dog things??#and one quote that says ‘I like you’ ‘you don’t know me’ ‘I want to#though’#and one that says ‘most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be’#just funny how accurate canon ended up being to this fake version of jeremy we all made up#but the boba knocked me out#like how did I KNOW#but anyway this is not a good collage I just wanted to make one#jeremy Knox#tsc#also I have a jean one too#which again is funny to look at now that we have canon jean personality
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reading a post s7 fic and it's got me thinking... like, y'know, maybe the reason wil and xand struggle with their partners is because no one really comes above buffy. they're part of the slayer's arsenal, her best weapons, her biggest supports. and why buffy has such people troubles in general is because she will always always save wil and xand before anybody else. cause it's them three against the world
#in parentheses with a little asterisk ofc this is excluding dawn but do you understand me#they're trauma bonded u can't separate them :(#it'd probably be better for them honestly but also it's CRUEL#I'm just throwing this out there bc I'm thinking about the three of them again#like I don't think it's accurate but I don't feel like I'm entirely wrong either#will has an easier time putting her partners above buffy but like. idk man. she brought the bitch back from the dead#that was pretty big#and we all know how xander deals with buffy vs his girlfriends#buffy can't make friends to save her life out here and it's probably cause they know the scooby gang is fucking impenetrable#like oh yeah you really think ur coming between them? lol. lmao. rofl even#and okay buffy knows they can handle themselves. but be fr#if one of them was actually struggling do you not think she would drop everything to help them?#I am NEVER going to be able to properly articulate my feelings on three I just. they're so important to me. so important#I am still devastated to find they do not have an official ship name. someone. please#buffy x willow x xander#buffy summers#willow rosenberg#xander harris#btvs#buffy the vampire slayer
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who up seeing their disorder in a fictional character but feel like its not their place to put a name on it
#id have to be waterboarded before i can talk abt how i see a lot of my adhd and personality in mitsumi iwakura let alone post it#idk how to talk abt this without feeling like im talking over or invalidating ppls experiences relating with a character#someone was talking abt how ppl tie laios' autism to special interest and social difficulties but not much else which kinda flattens it#and then went into a respectful in depth analysis of other autistic behaviour that laios exhibits and it wasnt phrased meanly#its fascinating and important to me to hear someone explain a little bit abt traits that they recognized and often go overlooked#because it does help me learn more about it. but i think thats also where hesitancy kicks in when it comes to depicting it accurately#like i have adhd and some of my adhd symptoms overlap with autism (time blindness and pattern seeking behaviour) but that only means#it feels familiar to me even without having autism. on top of that traits arent always cleanly determined as being /caused/ by#a disorder. to understand my environment i compare it to something unrelated but similar to make it more familiar and for the longest time#i thought that was a personality thing and not an information processing thing since i loved playing pretend in my head as a kid#so if you make a character who experiences that hoping to reach people that also experience that and tell them its not weird or#smth youre making up like. thats the goal. ppl who dont get it arent expected to it just means it doesnt cater to them but it helps them#become familiar to it yk? since i dont have autism myself i dont feel confident i can depict it properly or explain it in my own words#but that doesnt mean im trying to dismiss it or try and cut it out completely.. ill just leave the floor open to someone who /can/#a lot of issues around fanon depictions are when smth is baselessly popularized or a characters personality and behavior is flattened#especially to fit them into a trending meme. its harmless and its supposed to be for fun but it gets tricky when you drag things that#need to be carefully explained beforehand or else it gets lost in translation. like that tweet abt 'hyperfixating' on cooking pasta#once it becomes popular language usually the original meaning is left out for the sake of simplifying it for everyone that when it#circles back theres a sort of hesitancy like. am i using it the way it was intended or am i unknowingly using the popularized version of it#actually thats probably why i felt wrongfooted during diagnosis bc it felt like i was misusing the words i heard to describe what i felt#i /know/ i see a lot of myself in mitsumi because our minds are always somewhere else and we tend to put good faith first and for me#that personal connection is enough. but idk it feels like its always gonna have to be 'palatable' first before i can talk abt it openly#mad respect to writers and creators who stick to their story even if theres the looming fear of ppl misinterpreting it and letting them#have it.. its been almost 2 weeks and i am so close to deleting that m3 dunmeshi drawing bc ppl keep saying chilchuck wouldnt have 200 HP#IT LITERALLY SAYS I MADE IT WHILE WATCHING EP 1. I USED EARTHBOUND LOGIC AND I WASNT EVEN TAKING IT SERIOUSLY CHILL#yapping
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So, in preparation of the movie coming out next month, I reread Red, White & Royal Blue. I just finished it, and then I rewatched the trailer for the movie, and tbh, I have some concerns.
The thing I love so much about the book is the emotion. Alex and Henry are complex people with deep emotions. Confident on the outside, but struggling and nervous and anxious on the inside. Sure, the trailer looks fun, but I'm really hoping the more vulnerable sides of Alex and especially Henry are going to be shown in the movie.
The trailer also makes it seem like Henry doesn't like Alex either, at the beginning? Like, at the beginning of the book, the fact that Henry never really started out their interactions with antagonism like Alex did stuck out to me so much. Henry himself even says it! We know that Henry liked Alex the whole time, and it's shown through the fact that he always tried to be civil while Alex was the one who started their conversations with snark and sarcasm. That's why Alex enjoyed the moments when Henry would let a bit of fight come out. That's why it was such a noticeable thing to Alex when Henry snarked back at him during his first visit to England post-wedding.
In the trailer, it makes it seem like in the beginning, Henry doesn't like Alex just as much as Alex doesn't like Henry, if not more so. Movie Henry seems so openly antagonistic towards Alex, especially in the cake scene, and tbh it just feels wrong to me. The failure to portray Henry's feelings for Alex and his reluctance to participate in Alex's antagonism like the book does (especially considering we were seeing Henry through Alex's pov) makes me worry about whether or not Henry's more complex emotions will be shown in the movie at all, and Alex's too for that matter.
Also, I noticed that in the scene where Alex and Henry talk in the kitchen at the palace during Alex's fisrt visit to England post-wedding, it seems like they took out what was important about that scene and replaced it with surface level antagonism and snark to really sell the whole 'rivals to lovers' thing or something. It's like they're trying to convince us that Henry sees Alex just as much of a rival as Alex sees Henry, when that's just not the case. In the book, that's the scene where Alex really starts to see Henry for the first time, even if just for a moment. Not the put together Prince of England, but the sleep rumpled, pajama-clad insomniac who just wants some ice cream.
In the move trailer, it shows Henry wearing a dress shirt and tie, and his tone is snarky when talking to Alex, when in the book, Henry is genuine and unsure of himself. This is another time when we see that Henry has never really tried to be antagonistic towards Alex out of nowhere. In the trailer, it seems like Henry is going to be acting in the opposite way.
I'm not saying the movie has to be a word for word exact portrayal of the book because I don't believe that. A good adaptation will inevitably have to change things, but it only works if the changes make the story better, or at least if they make sense. Right now, I can't see the benefit of changing Henry's character so much. The Henry that I saw in the trailer, at least at the beginning of it, honestly doesn't feel like Henry at all to me.
The last third or so of the trailer, especially the clip of (who I'm assuming is) Bea asking Henry if he loves Alex, gives me hope that they'll get into the more emotional sides of these characters, but tbh I'm still kind of worried.
(Also, side-note, I hate the fact that June's character was cut entirely. She was there for Alex when he needed her, and her character gave us more insight into the complexities of the first family. She showed us that kids of divorce can see things differently when it comes to their parents, and as a child of divorce myself who has had differences of opinion with my sibling, I loved seeing that in the book with June and Alex. And, of course, there was her whole dynamic with Nora. I hate that she won't be in the movie at all. I hope they don't also cut the fact that Nora is queer.)
I don't know, I was skeptical of the movie at first after just seeing the teasers (though, tbh, I'm always skeptical of book to movie adaptations at first. Maybe it's the Percy Jackson fan in me), but after the trailer came out, I had more hope. Now, after rereading the book and having all the details fresh in my mind, I'm worried again. I know that trailers are made of clips that often times make more sense in context, so I hope the movie itself gives us more than the trailer implies. It makes sense that they'd want to mostly show the happier, more fun sides of things in the trailer so people will want to watch the movie.
I get that they might just be trying to go for a fun, not super deep, silly, comedic movie kind of vibe, but tbh, as fun and silly as rwrb is, it's also so much more than that. Some of my favorite parts of the book are the more serious parts. The parts where we see Alex and Henry's anxiety and insecurities. I really hope the movie shows at least some of these moments.
I'm definitely still going to watch the movie once it comes out, but I'm kind of concerned about how the story, and especially the characterization of the characters, is going to be portrayed. Hopefully, I'll end up being concerned about nothing. The last third of the trailer suggests that this will be the case, and I really hope it is!
I think the movie can still be enjoyable even if it doesn't show us the deeper and more nuanced sides of these characters, but can you blame me for hoping to see the reason why I fell in love with the book in the first place, the deep emotions of these characters, portrayed on screen?
(Tbh, I kinda lost track of my thoughts here. I think I'm concerned about Henry's drastic change in character more than anything else. It's easy to believe that there are more emotional scenes in the movie that we haven't seen hints of yet because obviously they can't show everything in the trailer. Henry's characterization, on the other hand... we've been shown two different clips of him that explicitly imply that he will be much different than the Henry we see in the book, at least in the beginning. Again, context is everything, so maybe it'll make more sense in the movie, but I can't imagine what context could be given to make those clips of Henry character accurate. And tbh, imo, there's no excuse for replacing soft, pajama-clad Henry in the kitchen scene with a dressed, snarky version of him)
(Also, the election isn't mentioned at all in the trailer? Tbh I think the book could have integrated the political parts a bit better than it did, but I still enjoyed it, especially at the end with election night. I guess if they set the movie in current day, an election won't make much sense, but the election and the stress and responsibilities that come with it add so much to Alex's character, and I honestly hope it's still included in the movie)
#idk if this made any sense#dont get me wrong im still excited for the movie but im going into it with slightly lower expectations now#also a faint sense of dread for how theyre going to treat henry#it feels like they chose to turn henry into alex 2.0 at the beginning and i hate that 😭😭😭#like obvi im just getting this from trailers and teasers so it could be very different in the actual movie#but then again the purpose of a trailer is to give the audience an accurate taste of the movie#so id think theyd try not to misrepresent their character in the trailer#idk i have mixed feelings#hopefully im concerned about nothing#i am still excited for the movie tho i promise#i never talk about rwrb on here so this prob seems random coming from me but i really do love the book#red white and royal blue#rwrb#rwrb movie#alex claremont diaz#henry mountchristen windsor#firstprince
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I do find it so funny that I will graduate college days away from my birthday. Like my birthday is literally in between the end of the semester ("graduation") and commencement
It really will be like a joint graduation & birthday party for me lmao
#speculation nation#i dont really do birthday parties anymore. havent in a long time. mostly just go out and do smth fun around my bday. ya kno#also have cake but like not in a party way. just like. here's cake lol#but im probably only gonna graduate from college once. which means i might as well live it up and all.#invite all sorts of extended family and people who have known me. etc etc.#actually it just kinda sunk in that i am. Computer and Information Technology (Systems Analysis and Design focus) w a minor in Communication#like those are words. it's a lot of words but actually it really is pretty accurate?? like that's indeed what ive been studying.#now how much i *remember* is another question. considering how long ive taken to get thru school lol#but that's what people will see on my degree. that's my Thing. graduated in Computer Systems and Talking.#idk it's just weird to have spent so much of my life on this and like That's the culmination. it took so much work.#even beyond a normal 4 years. i switched my major *twice*. switched my minor too.#first year engineering to undecided liberal arts (as a temp major trying to switch to computer science bc i couldnt stay in FYE)#but then computer science sucked so i switched to trying to get into computer & info tech. which is different. and better.#and ive been in it long enough now that ive kinda forgotten but it did take some fuckin work to switch into it.#like i had to take certain classes first & i couldnt take them during the semesters that in-major students would take them#and i had to have my gpa up to a certain level etc etc. so many hoops to jump thru. i think it took me at least a year. or more. idr#but i made it in and thats my major. thats my thing. computers and information systems and communication.#doesnt FEEL like im an almost-graduate. but then i think about all the things ive taken and learned.#and maybe i dont remember a lot of the more specific things from these classes. but i took core lessons away from each one.#wont be able to recite the theories but i can live them. and thats the point of an education i guess.#anyways im gonna have to start job searching before too long and eughhbb. need to get my license first tho probably.#which i will... i will.... i have so many things to deal with... my life will be So Different in a year...#it will require me to put in the work now. but i can do it. and then a year from now. i'll hopefully be in a better spot.#living somewhere else. graduated from college. with a license and a car. maybe even an IT job of some kind.#kind of scared of trying to find a Big Boy Job. aka a job that requires a degree and networking and all that shit.#rather than just showing up and being like Hi i can do this job. i am not a total drain of a person. hire me please 👍#hfkahfks so many things to think about. and through it all i am still dealing with DEADLINES...!!!!#but yeah this is why my writing has largely been put on hold. idk i have a lot of things im dealing with rn.
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finally got around to making everyone's rigs actually accurate to their heights :-)
#or at least as close to accurate as possible yk#it never occurred to me just how short marcus actually is#like seeing him next to bow i'm like. wow! he could fit in my pocket! & bow's not even that tall#like idk 4'11 does not seem that short to me!!#granted i am also kinda short so that's probably why but still#n e way. i am off to hopefully make....... something#rainyrambles#gl:ex#dl#probably
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Wait does Cedyes actually become a thing? I only follow the webtoon
i have not caught up with the novel (impossible for me to since there's over 800 ch and theyre not all translated) so I can't say anything about where the novel will go and what the "endgame" will be but as far as I'm concerned that's not important... as far as I can say, yes and no..?? TWSB isn't classified as a romance or a BL, so yeseo likely won't get a romantic "love interest" whether it be gay or straight, and my guess is the bond btwn the main trio will be akin to platonic soulmates... I can guarantee that yeseo and cedric won't be making out onscreen or anything... but at the same time imo if ppl don't pick up on the LGBT undertones (specifically with Cedric) then they are not reading it right (/lh i don't like to say anyones interp is "wrong" but... this is like saying killua isn't gay kdbfmd)
I'm just gonna give the answer I gave before and that my guess is it'll be like ORV where no it's not explicitly a BL, or romance, but YET its so extremely and soul crushingly romantic and they end up winning the 2023 tumblr yaoi awards over spirk and sasunaru (this actually happened
#sorry for the long winded answer idk what to say#yes and no#i am legally obligated to say no but#yes#yesyesyesyes#ask#o sidenote if u want a slightly more serious answer#i think an obstacle to cedyes actually becoming a 'thing' as u asked#is just the sheer force of yeseo's aroace spec flavor of obliviousness cnnfnfffh#so its more onesided ced->yes pining from what ive seen... yeseo doesnt even have a clue abt how cedric feels tbh#but i do genuinely think cedric's crush on jesse/yeseo is real#at the very least its canon that jesse is a deeply precious person to him#and he feels healed and understood by him and would do anything to protect him#and there are often moments where he's like. taken aback and flustered by jesse in a way new and confusing to him#i genuinely think its accurate to interpret it as a first love#like u COULD. if u reallyyyy wanted to. interpret cedric's love for yeseo as purely platonic. but why would i do that when their scenes are#so unbearably romantic...#twsb spoilers#ALSO READ THE NOVEL BLEASEEE ITS SM BETTER THAN THE WEBTOON I PROMMY
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Oh, btw, if anybody is curious.
A few weeks ago I did an assessment which was supposed to be for ADHD but the guy specializes in diagnostics of all forms of neurodivergence and wanted to be thorough. Anyway, he said he is “at least 95% certain” (lmao I love how he uses confidence intervals) that not only do I have ADHD, I am also autistic!
Show of hands for everybody surprised! Nobody? Yeah I wasn’t either.
Anyway I will now officially claim neurodivergence. Anybody who disagrees doesn’t know me.
#idk how much I want to officially claim the title#not because I don’t want to be autistic because it’s just a descriptor for how a brain works and if I AM autistic I will happily claim it#but because he isn’t a neuropsych and the psych group at my local hospital don’t trust his assessments yet#he’s only been in practice here for about a year and he doesn’t do the ADOS 2 module 4#so idk because I do FEEL like his assessment was thorough and accurate#but I also don’t want to use tags like actuallyautistic and claim it like it’s MY group and culture and end up not really being autistic?#like I don’t want to take away from truly actually autistic voices#idk if that makes sense#but yeah been pretty calm on tumblr lately because I’m growing into my new diagnoses and life situation#with med school too actually#I got my rural community assignment and preceptor names and one of them went to Harvard for undergrad#but that’s not what this post is about
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i hate posts that are supposed to be positivity for people who lack friends or that say that social connections are like unexpectedly inevitable/straightforward to make or something, but then like. don't elaborate on how that is possible. it always just makes me feel more hopeless
#space chirrup#idk. i suppose even if there was actually anything theoretically actionable in those posts i still might not feel like it'd work for me#i mean i've tried googling for actual advice but for some reason ''how to make friends as a chronically online socially stunted#possibly autistic barely-transitioned transgender young adult introvert with esoteric interests'' doesn't turn up anything useful#(idk if ''possibly autistic'' is accurate all the self-assessments i've done plus the psychologist i went to said i probably wasn't)#i suspect that i might be unnecessarily limiting myself with all of that#but i have absolutely no idea what is a reasonable amount to step outside of my comfort zone/interests#i don't even have anything that i want out of basic social interactions the thing that compels me is intimacy.#but i don't want that with someone i don't know already.#but how do i get to know people when there's nothing i want to do with them and i have trouble feeling like i want things in general#does that mean i'm depressed. i've had conflicting feedback on whether i am. what is the productive course of action if i am#bc i keep thinking that like medication wouldn't be worth it if i didn't have a plan to actually improve my life but that if i had a#plan i could just do it without medication#but idk maybe medication would allow me to identify an actually viable plan. ggggggg#ALSO does it make a difference that i only feel strongly about this when it's late at night#people always say not to trust how you feel at night but it's not like i feel GOOD about my life in the daytime it's just kinda neutral#like there's enough for me to survive without significant effort and i'm not completely joyless but idk what it's all for#and night is the only time i feel motivated to do anything about it.#though usually that thing is just writing a vent post on tumblr or something equivalently unproductive lolllll
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I helped make (read: co-produced, script-edited, co-directed, voice acted, and did some other miscellaneous jobs for) a science fiction audio drama called ROGUEMAKER with some very cool people!
It's 10 episodes (plus a few bonus eps—one of which I wrote) and it's about a far future commercial spaceflight that goes horribly wrong, leaving the crew and passengers stuck in individual escape pods with faulty comms, an AI that can't hear them, and seemingly random broadcasts going in and out. It was written by my friend @spacecoffeeandcartoons, a soon-to-be doctor of astronomy/literature based on a larp that I helped her run!
We also have an original soundtrack up on bandcamp, which includes vocals from the in-universe band About Gardens (I was actually mostly uninvolved in making the music but it's good music and also a way to kick a few bucks to the folks who actually did make it)
I am being so serious when I say: if you have the financial and time privilege to get a group of friends together and make an indie project, PLEASE do. Indie games, indie animations, indie comics etc etc
the art industries are kind of in the shitter. It’s not so much because of AI (though that doesn’t help) but because studios just aren’t hiring people and funding projects anymore. People who’ve been in the industry for decades are finding themselves struggling, and once you have a mortgage or kids it’s harder to do something as risky as making something on your own.
completing projects is hard. it takes a lot of time and effort, and most people can’t afford it. so if you CAN afford to make art, even at the risk of no financial gain, I strongly encourage you to be as resilient as you can. We’re at a point where these industries are not going to turn around by themselves, and waiting for jobs to open up again in order to get experience and portfolio work might not be realistic.
people have been making art and telling stories longgggg before we were getting paid for it, and people aren’t going to stop just because no one has hired them to do so.
for everyone else: support indie artists when you can!!!! That person who made that cool indie game or youtube animation or webcomic might be doing this full time! your support might be the only reason they’re able to keep doing it.
and if you have already started an indie project: you’re so brave and I’m very proud of you!!! in fact, drop a link to it in the reblogs if you want! 👇
#i did technically direct the live version of super-casa-nova#but that was more just me being in the room than me actually doing anything#also i am only mostly certain that “doctor of astronomy/literature” is accurate#shes been doing a whole interdisciplinary thing with her phd and idk how exactly the degree itself works#roguemaker
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aww its kinda cute finding me complaining abt my dads whole lisa thing from 2017. honestly so overshadowed by everything else and also i was so annoying when i was 12 aw .
#did not realize how many of my journal posts r just vents and it all looks so silly now RJRBJFBFNG aw hun. its so funny that i was#complaining abt my mom treating me like a therapist in 2017. <- his ass did notttt know. its like watching a guy standing on the train#tracks and complaining about a car driving past.#sry . i ended up on quotev just 2 look. ive never actually looked at my like activity feed very much whenever i go back but its funny bc it#rly is a more accurate glimpse into whateve was going on for miss kami (my quotev nickname).... like yasss. you hate your dads girlfriend#and her kids that is a nice problem to have#its also embarassing bc like my ex gf is just all around in here . i made a vent post like I get it im not enough and i dont matter and im#just a tool for you to use 😡😡😡 and she commented “yesss tell the world”. SO FUNNY?#and i found her being excited abt our 5 month anniversary#delightfully 12 year old activity. i do not like her very much at all and idt i ever actualy loved her#not in a bitchy way in a like. i literally questioned if i was aroace the entire time we were dating#she asked me out with a little note passed in class like circle y/n and i literally thought to myself Hm well i guess i dont have anything#going on. and circled yes. which is so funny. hun?#anyways. that all imploded bc we were 11 its whatever.#sigh. its just nice to remember the little problems i had. like obviously all this is after my dad choked me out in public and threw my dog#and etc but its still technically the beforetimes. yk. and ik the zoo isnt rly the most pressing of my things that have happened to me#anymore but its still like. Big. yk. even if i mostly just have to Be fine about it now or else everyone will think im being an awful piec#of shit asshole for still being upset. Ok sorry#also when i call my 12 yesr old self snnoying i mean it in an loving way like. its only right to be kind of annoying when youre 12 yk...#and also 12 year old kamille is Not here rn so i can be a little playfully mean to her. bc shes such a 12 year old#idk i just struggle a lot bc i am so like. far removed from everything that happened atp were on like 4th or 5th generation post that#and i struggle to put myself in That kamilles shoes and remember she was a kid yk. like obviously ik i was a kid ik i didnt deserve that#but when i try to like. put myself back in the situation and try to force myself to remember that exact day (dont do this btw . it does not#go well LOL) but i always like. i try to rebuild the events from the ground up but im not Kamille age 12 im me. witnessing everything#i wont ever be able to remember it How it acrually was i couldnt even fully remember it like a week after the fact yk. itis what itis#sorry i should prolly tag this i rambleddddd#a2t#child abuse#implied but we#animal abuse
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the hold hamilton still has on social studies teachers
#i say this as if i am not currently listening to it while i write a paper#me when historical fiction isn’t accurate: [screaming crying throwing up]#i often have this conversation w myself bc like. yeah hamiltons a little rough but i genuinely think that falls on ron chernow more than lmm#like yeah in an ideal world you don’t consult just one source. but also like? idk. that’s a very Trained As A Historian way of thinking abt#things#but like idk accurate historical fiction is often more boring too#there are many things in history that are flooring with their drama. but those are the events not the people#idk i think maybe it’s hard to translate the people for a non academic audience#i do still think it did somewhat permenant damage to how people see slavery & the founding fathers particularly in nys#but i seem to be relatively alone in that#i don’t know. usually my stance w historical fiction is that it’s fine if it encourages people to actually investigate the history#but like w things that are such a tour de force obvi that’s not happening.#i dunno. i don’t know!#molly's musings
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idk who needs to hear this but its okay to hate ppl. its ok to distrust ppl. no, obviously, you shouldn't do anything stupid and hurt someone. no, obviously, you shouldn't lock yourself away forever. but I don't think most ppl who feel these kinds of ways actually want to do that and are more or less just frustrated and trying to express that emotion. I think suppressing it is worse.
dont let tumblr people make you feel like a shitty person just because you want to feel your emotions.
#mood#reminder#hey you- you asshole who tells ppl they're bad for this- how about instead of being like#omigosh that totally means u want to kill ppl and#genocide ppl and im gonna make a million jumps to say it means u wanna kill minorities specifically#consider: how about you actually ponder#*why* someone might say something like that- or more accurately- feel like that.#because i can bet that it's not because they really really hate minorities.#most of the people i see who say “i hate people” are fucking emo n goth kids ok i really dont think they're thinking about specific#minorities you fuck im p sure theyre just frustrated w people around them.#wow tumblr fucked up these tags a lot#why cant this website decide if its gonna let me use quotation marks in the tags or not fuck#when im venting saying 'i hate the world and everyone blehhh' im not also thinking in my mind 'ah yes and also i am specifically targeting#native americans when i say this' like dfhjvsvdfghv#considering i live in missouri and theres unfortunately barely any native people around here im p sure they're not the first fuckin ppl#my mind jumps to. probably goes to idk. people who've abused or traumatized me? authority figures? ppl who make shit rly inconvenient?#bullies? conservatives? people who make life worse as their job??? like#p sure its not about you or whatever group of ppl you gotta pretend i hate so badly#if YOU feel attacked then hey maybe stop treating me like shit lmao and i wont feel this way#bc i only ever feel this way when im bein treated like shit 🤷
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