#also i sleep a lot more early now. maybe like 9

[csuitebitches]

How to Wake Up Early

I always wanted to be one of those girls who would wake up early, go for a run and be super productive with their mornings. The issue is - i really love sleep. Every time i would start a routine, i would eventually fail. I would wake up to turn the alarm off, think to myself “5 mins more” and boom- it’s suddenly 8:30 am and i need to leave for work in less than 1 hour.

Two videos on YouTube really changed my mind. One was Andrew Huberman’s, and the other was Jihyo, a k-pop star.

I came across Andrew Huberman’s video about dopamine, and somehow, it helped me to understand why the difficulty waking up early is so important. Now I’m no expert of neuroscience, but let me explain to the best of my abilities.

Dopamine is essentially the build up to the reward; it is not the reward. It is the satisfaction and happiness you feel (when your body releases), after you have achieved something that was painful/ required you to struggle a bit. In order to receive this reward, you have to feel pain, because pain and satisfaction are directly related to each other. Satisfaction without pain is useless and does nothing for you essentially.

That got me wondering: for me, waking up early is difficult. It’s painful. I dont want to do it. But if I do it, its my first win of the day. It’s the first challenge I have overcome of that day, and I always do feel amazing after. The dopamine release after the struggle of waking up and winning the battle of not going back to sleep is definitely there. I feel more confident because a) I have done the “right” thing b) selfishly, i can do something so simple that a lot of people struggle with c) it weirdly makes me feel more confident and like I’m doing the first step of being an adult right.

Jihyo’s video was quite random - she did some show where it shows her daily life when she’s not working. Parts of it made me feel like she’s unable to just relax with herself (probably because her body and mind are so used to chaos, performing, her girl group living together for so many years) so she busies herself a lot. I took the positives from the video; she’s extremely disciplined which I admired, she gets her chores done, she’s good at ensuring that her space is truly her space.

So I decided to build a relatively foolproof routine; but mind you, it does require quite a bit of willpower.

I’ve developed a habit of waking of waking up at 5 am. I head straight for a 30-45 minute meditation and then at least an hour long workout. I stack my habits that way; right after meditation, I put on my running shoes. I used to really struggle with waking up, even if I had to wake up late. This is the strategy that worked me, see if it works for you.

1. Reset your space the night before

This makes you feel less stressed in the morning and also genuinely makes you feel like you have your shit together. Put your clothes away, keep your bag in its place, clean up your desk, reorganise your make up and skin care products. You’re going to go to sleep and wake up to a clean space.

Make sure you define both your bedtime and wake up time. My bedtime is 9:30 pm - so i manage my chores, reading, dinner, everything around that.

2. Early dinner

I’ve noticed that early dinners help me sleep better. I’ve built the habit of casually walking for 25-30 minutes post dinner (not right after eating, after about 15 mins). I’m not walking fast to a point where I’m sweating and puffing, I’m casually strolling outside. During this time, I don’t listen to music, interact with anyone or my phone. I use this time to connect with myself and think about whatever I feel like.

3. No devices before sleeping

I don’t want to stimulate myself before sleeping, so I prefer reading before bed. If you don’t like reading, you can instead do your skincare, maybe revise some physical study notes, etc.

4. Using Alarmy app

This app is torture and I swear by it. This little thing makes you a solve a challenge of your choice in order to make the alarm stop, like math problems, puzzles, etc. I chose 5 math problems.

5. Keep your phone across the room

Don’t charge it near your reach. Keep it as away from you as possible.

6. Stand for two minutes after shutting off the alarm

Don’t allow yourself to snooze, or go back to bed. This is the part that really requires you to tell yourself: “i am not going back to sleep. I’m going to wake up and do the things I have to do for my own benefit.” Remember - the states of heaven and hell are not outside of you, they’re inside you. They are mental states. You have to fight with your lazy demon and tell him/her/whoever that NO; we are NOT going back to bed.

I charge my phone across the room so that forces me to walk first thing in the morning. To stop myself from going back to sleep, after i have shut the alarm off, i just stand for 2 minutes. I dont sit, or go back to bed. I stand and tell myself, we’re doing this. We’re going to wake up and have an amazing day.

Your mind is like a child with tantrums and mood swings. Your rational self has to discipline your mind the way a parent would to a child.

7. Turn a small light on

Not something that is jarring or overwhelming, but enough to help you start waking up. I turn my phone’s flashlight on and keep it on my desk.

8. Be consistent, even on weekends

The biggest mistake you can make is not being consistent. Your body doesnt recognise weekends, your mind does. Your body doesn’t know that tomorrow is Monday, so its time to wake up early. By staying consistent (yes, I wake up at 5 am on weekends too), it allows my body to develop its own body clock and not wrecking the system I’ve kept in place.

What do I do if I have a late night?

It really depends. Let’s say I come home relatively early (+2 hours around my bedtime) around 11 pm, and im in bed by 11:30. I’ll wake up somewhere close to 5 am, like 6 am instead. The next day I ensure I’m in bed by the bedtime I’ve kept for myself and wake up at 5 am again.

If I come home really late, like 3 am - i keep my alarm exactly 8 hours from that time. I need to get sleep, but oversleeping is an issue and that wont allow me to wake up early the next day. I want to get enough sleep where im rested for the day, but not excessively. Unfortunately, sleeping so late would definitely mean that i wont be able to fall asleep at my dot 9:30 pm bedtime, but i turn the lights off and get ready to sleep by then anyway, and mentally prepare for my 5 am wake up call.

[starillusion13]

Winning Dessert

Pairing: boxer! San x f! reader x manager! Wooyoung

Genre: Strangers to lovers, Mature, SMUT

W.C: 6.3k +

Warnings: sexual themes,explicit SMUT, nipple play, oral (f receiving) , m x f x m, threesome, double penetration,unprotected sex(please don’t do irl),aftercare (please idk if anything more needed to add or not.)

Request from: @kitten4sannie

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Thanks for helping me out to come up with an idea with woosan fic @mymoodwriting

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere @yeoobin @anyamaris (I thought you may like it) @icchyi @jwnghyuns @piratequeen-queenofgames

Note: Thanks for joining the event and loving my works. I love interaction so please do tell me how you all like my works.

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT UNDER THIS POST 18+

*under the cut*

🏆

Boxing Clubs? Are you really interested in them? No, not really. Your opinions don’t matter to your friend who is really jumping around like a fool in your bedroom for finally getting the tickets for herself and you to watch the tomorrow’s event of the Django Boxing Club. You have heard about the boxers in your town but never got the interest to dive deeper into the information about them. Your friend has mentioned her favourite’s name a lot in your conversations but you only pretended listening her.

“When are we going there?” You asked her in a bored tone contrast to her over-excited self. She stopped jumping and sits beside you, resting her palms on your shoulder and turning you to face her with excitement overflowing her eyes.

“Finally, I am going to their special show and even with you. I would probably faint there when seeing them that close but you will catch me okay! We will hang out to nearby café before and then we will go the event’s place. It will start at 9 o’clock.”

“No way! We will be out there late at night.” You didn’t expect to be a night event, you never been to any place at late night so you are a bit conscious right now.

“It’s okay Y/N. Many audiences will be there and it would be pretty much crowded to become somebody’s target for bad intentions.”

“I don’t know how to not worry but please we have to come back as soon as possible after the show ends.”

“Deal. Anyways I’m heading out for my home because I need to get a proper sleep today’s night even though I know I can’t sleep knowing I will be meeting Sa-“

Suddenly a ring interrupts her statement. The call was from her boyfriend asking her when will she get back home. She hurriedly makes her way out of your apartment waving you a quick farewell for the end of the day and you smiled in return to see her so excited for every little thing in her life. Maybe, you should also date someone then it would make yourself a little bit more interested in life.

Preparing yourself to the bed, you are still lost in thoughts about tomorrow’s event as to what can happen there. Not that you are expecting something worse but as you never been to such places and also late at night, you are a bit confused and overthinking.

————

Next day, early in the morning, your sleep got disturbed by a call from your friend to remind you about the events for the later in the day. You spent your Saturday morning as usual with treating yourself a nice healthy breakfast and cleaning stuffs all around your apartment.

Afternoon comes with the arrival of the exciting-self of your friend. Looking at her, you realized how she always dolls her up for every little occasion and being excited for her favorite stuffs. Where on the other end, you are always so bored with your usual plain life and dress up in casuals with no make up and all. Shaking your head to let this thought out of your mind, you picked up an outfit of a baggy pants and an oversized t-shirt.

“Are you wearing that?” your friend made a disgusted expression on your choice.

“Yes. Why? Is there something wrong with this?”

“Of course. Everything.” She moved you aside and starts to rummage through your closet and chose a light pink shirt with a white sketchy skirt. The skirt has a descent height to cover your thighs properly but to you the outfit is a bit too scandalous for the event.

“I’m not wearing that to a place where there will be lot of boys and men.”

“Its not like I’m asking you to wear revealing clothes to attract boys but atleast wear something girly please and perhaps this will look good on you maybe you will get a boyfriend for yourself there.”

Trying out the outfit, it reveals not that bad to wear to such events and eventually you agreed on it with her. You leave your wavy mid-length hair open and put some lip tint to go with the casual look.

Feeling of refreshment hits your body while walking along the side of the streets with your bestfriend. Maybe you should go out often to such exciting events or you will die of boredom in your room someday.

————

You spent your evening quite nicely with your friend in the café and later hanging out in the nearby mall. It was a thirty minutes way to the club from the mall so you left at 8:00 pm. Due to traffic, you both reached the place at 8:45 and on arriving, you could see how these events actually look like. The place is not bright enough to read the posters in the alley to know the information written on them. The club is situated at the end of the alley and while making your way towards it, you can feel people spread in the alley are eyeing you both up and down which making you a bit uncomfortable but your friend reassures you repeatedly not to mind them because they always look at others in that way. Reaching near the club, you could feel a lot more girls are there which made your anxious self a bit calm. The girls were either in groups of two or many but all were immersed in some exciting topics and with posters in their hands.

“Take this. This is a cheering board. I have only two hands so I can’t hold this and I will be holding these two photo sticks.” She shows her two sticks with one having a picture of an attractive male and other one with a name written on it, ‘Choi San’.

“Is this your favorite boxer?” Taking the cheering board from her hand on which is written,

‘I am cheering for you so do your best Choi San.’

You chuckled on her hardworks on making all these for the event. To your question, she nods her head aggressively with a big smile on her face. You both look towards the entrance finding out that the people have start entering the club because it’s already the time for the start of the event. Not realizing what to do, your friend dragged you hastily inside to get a better place for the best view to the show. Fortunate enough, you both got the front row from where you can see the ring of the wrestling show from an eight feet distance and the bright lights above it is making the surrounding view of the ring clear as well.

“Y/N! I swear if you don’t fall in love with the wrestling shows today. Just have a look on San’s match.”

Nodding your head reluctantly, your gaze focused on the various displayed posters around the ring of San. In every picture, his intimidating sharp eyes with a slick jaw is making you attracted towards him. His black hair complimenting his look even more and now you are hoping to see this individual in person soon. You look to your side to find your friend busy texting her boyfriend and so you start to look around to get in the surroundings more.

The place is only brightly lit in the center where the stage ring is situated so that every audience can have the clear view of the show. To the end of the ring on your right, a table where two judges were sitting and discussing something between them. Behind them, a man was standing who caught you staring there and then he smirked at you while checking you out all over. You shifted in your place and he shook his head and turned back to enter a door. Creep!

To your back, some were either sitting or standing but everyone has an excitement in them with energetic self for the show. You were looking at each person to recognize whether you know anyone or not when suddenly an announcement brought back your attention towards the center.

“Hello, everyone. Welcome to Django Club’s Night Show. This is the most anticipated show for you all and us as we know our boxer Choi San of our district will be competing against the State’s most renowned boxer Johnny. Let’s begin the show and cheer for them.” Everyone cheered on the end of the announcement and not to think otherwise but suddenly you were also excited for the show.

The cheering went wild when San entered the ring, one hand holds the middle ring rope tightly to make a swift entry from beneath it. His other hand is adjusting his white sando on his sweaty body. His muscles are well reflected for the sweats under the bright lights, looking like a fresh exotic meal served in a 5-star restaurant. Oh gosh! What the hell are you imagining now.

The stage is made of wood plank so his sudden steps made a thud sound and your friend is grinning for the excitement to see him so near. There are four steal beams in the corners of the ring stage covered with foam padding and a canvas mat is covering the wooden plank with a fabric skirt on the elevated sides to cover and prevent the spectators from seeing underneath. He made his way towards the bean on your left to lean his back on it when his opponent entered the ring from the other side in a similar way and the cheering from his end was also quite loud. The man whom you saw before behind the judges appeared again but he is having some deep conversation with San. He is whispering into San’s ears and you were squinting your eyes to know what is going on.

Oh girl! The moment that mysterious man turned around and all he found out is you being interested in his private life. He smiled at you and you got startled on this sudden interaction. He tapped on San’s shoulder and again whispered something but now they both looked at your direction and both of them having dirty smirks on their face, while San is smirking with a dark expression and the other one with a mischievous glint in his eyes. Your wide eyes quickly look over your friend, who turned towards you the same moment.

“Have you seen them looking in our way?”

“Yeah, I have but who is that man standing behind him?”

“That’s his manager, Jung Wooyoung like I have heard they are best friends more like brothers but whatever decision one has to make, they always consult with each other before hand. The manager is quite popular among girls because of his flirty nature but as far as I have heard that they both are single so you can have a chance.”

“Shut up! What the hell are you even talking about? Me and them? Never is this happening in this lifetime.” You hit her arm and both focused on the match which has started with San punching Johnny directly to the jaw and making the man stumbled to the floor. Everyone cheered on the act and your friend literally stood up and started jumping. She made you hold up the board a bit higher and then she is waving her sticks to cheer. The match was going quite well for San’s end because he was on the winning edge and now it’s the time for the last round. San is leaning to the beam same as before and Wooyoung came up to him with a bottle to give him some drink. They were talking between themselves when suddenly they abruptly turned their heads towards you. You thought at first that they were looking at someone else but you could see his lips were moving as if he is reading out something.

“Y/N he is reading the cheering board you are holding and see everyone is staring at us.”

Okay! So, all this time, you thought they were having those little interactions with you but it was only them looking at the audience cheering boards and posters. Maybe you are really overthinking. But why are you feeling a bit disappointed on knowing this!

The last round started with a loud whistle followed by the cheering sounds from the dimly lit place from every corner of the club. At this point, the atmosphere is little bit a mixture of smoke and alcohols and even you can hear people betting money on the contestants in a small corner of the club. Suddenly, San made an eye contact with you and you were doing your best to not think it that way and can see his opponent approaching him when he suddenly got a hit on his face and falls to the ground. He closed his eyes on the impact and resting his body on the knees and on two palms to take deep breathes. Panic starts rising your mind as if you are feeling guilty of the cause. You were looking all around to see whether any eyes are accusing you or not but all you could find is eyes focused on the stage and a wave of disappointment washed over the audience.

“What the hell! Where was he looking at?” You look over your shocked face.

“Maybe something distracted him.”

“But what?”

Me? Oh no! it can’t be even possible. This is your first time coming to this sort of shows and probably they have seen lot more beautiful girls in their life. Your eyes travelled back to the stage where san is now wiping the drop of blood from the corner of his mouth and also you can see a cut on his forehead which might be causing pain to him. You failed to notice all this time after the hit, Wooyoung’s gaze was all focused on you and following your every action. San glance at your direction and punched his opponent in such a way that the man couldn’t hit back and didn’t have anymore energy left. San’s white sando is fully drenched with sweat and his squinted sharp eyes are focused on the man before him when he pressed his elbows one on the neck and the other on the lower back to restrain him from getting up and with the time up, San is declared to be the champion of the show.

The digital board above the ring displays

‘ Choi San The Winner 🏆’

You smiled on the result and as expected your friend is shouting his name on top of her lungs. You calmed her down and looked to your phone to see it’s almost 11 at night and urged your friend to head home. San is staring at you while receiving the prize and you hesitated to look that way. You friend is still not willing to go back home but people emptying the place indicates you should head back soon before any worst thing happens.

————

When you both were about to walk out of the exist, a voice made you stop.

“Hey you girls!” a high-pitched voice calling out in your direction so on turning your head, you found out the manager is on the stairs beside the front row and looking in your way. Your friend smiled towards the man and he winked at her. He comes near to your presence.

“Hello girls! Myself Wooyoung, you can call me Woo in short. I have something to ask and that’s why I made out some time to speak with you.” All this time he is speaking, his gaze was focused on you.

Your friend happily introduced herself and you as well in which he extends his hand for a shake and before you can give in your hand, your friend shakes his hand aggressively. You and him chuckled on her excitement but he suddenly spoke up.

“Well! Can you stay a bit longer? I have something to ask.” You and your friend looked at each other in confusion as to what this man has to talk about.

“Us?”

“No. Only you.” He is directly staring in your eyes.

“We can’t stay here further because its too late for us to stay outside and even in this place.”

“Hey Wooyoung!” A familiar voice calls out from behind you all and you all turned towards it to find out your friend’s boyfriend Yeosang is standing at the doorway. Your friend run towards him and hugged him tightly and then they both quickly exchanged greeting kisses. They walked to where you and Wooyoung is standing.

“Yeosang? Do you know them and is she your girlfriend?”

“Ah yes! I never introduced her to you because I knew how crazy fan she is of San. She would probably leave me for him.”  They both laughed and your friend hit him and yeosang turns towards you to give you a smile. “And she is her bestfriend. Her name is Y/N.”

“Oh cool! I was going to ask her to come help me with something and now when we all know each other then it would be much easy.”

“Help?” You watched how Yeosang and Wooyoung exchanged glances as if they were silently communicating between them. Wooyoung’s expression become dark and Yeosang laughed lightly, “Well we are leaving as am taking her to my house for tonight and I suppose you can help him. Trust me you are safe with him because he is my bestfriend and also knows how to fight well.”

“Y/N I trust yeosang so if he is assuring you on this matter then please trust him for me.”

Your thoughts are debating on whether to trust them or not but deep down you want to escape the boredom of your life and experience something thrilling so you accepted the offer. Your friend and her boyfriend took a leave and you know well what is their plan for the night so you just chuckled and turn towards Wooyoung with raised eyebrows to know why you are here exactly.

His gaze is on your legs and you just brushed your skirt to show your uneasiness for his act. He quickly looked up and grinned, “You are really pretty but you should not have worn this dress which is apparently looking too good on you and getting the attention it needs.”

“Thanks but I don’t usually go out and that’s why I thought to wear this maybe don’t know when again I would get the chance to wear it again.”

“Never.” Wooyoung whispered but when he saw your confused look, he quickly spills out the reasons to keep you here.

“Well Y/N, you did notice how San got the punch there and do you know why did that happen?”

You shook your head when suddenly he came forward and slide his hand around your neck to pull you closer, “Umm Wooyoung….”

“Yes?”

“Why did it happen?”

“Because of you. Your pretty face was distracting my boy and it leads to him getting a punch.”

“Me? But I-“

“You are not sorry for that?” you shyly look down but his other hand grips your chin to face him.

“Are you not sorry for that?” You nodded and he smiled when his gaze moves down from your eyes to your pink lips.

“You need to repay for that you know so come with me to our van and clean up his wound. I hope you won’t deny this.”

“I am sorry but I need to go home.”

“I will take you back home only when you help my boy to clean his wound and pain.”

Your eyes taking in his look, he has a sharp facial feature with veiny neck which is revealed due to his black and white Versace-Greca printed shirt which has three buttons open from the top revealing his chest teasingly with a black baggy pant. You quietly agreed with him and he took you to the backside of the club to a darker alley where on one side a van was parked. Every step nearing the van is making your heart beat faster and also being so close with wooyoung is not helping the situation.

————

Coming to the side of the van, he moved away from you and entered the front passenger seat. You are following his movements to contemplate the situation accordingly. You can only see him turning back inside and removing a curtain separating the back portion of the van which is almost like a travelling mini room with a quite enough space for two persons to sleep and also rest of the space to hang clothes and keeping all necessary place. These were not visible properly so out of curiosity you were leaning a bit forward to see what was inside and suddenly you meet San’s eyes, he smirks.

Wooyoung came out and holds your hand to take you to the back of the van. He opened the door and signalled by his head to you to enter it. The yellow hue light coming from inside the van is the only bright light in that alley right now and then when you looked inside, you can see everything clearly what you were imagining from outside and out of all things, the most eye catchy to you now is that San is sitting leaning his back to the driver’s seat staring at you.

“Hi sweetheart.” The way he said the nickname to you is so seductive and the deep voice is making the nickname a sweet venom from his mouth.

“Ummm Hi….” You entered the van and quickly sit on the seat which is taking the half side of the van to whose other San is sitting. The seat is in a somewhat shape of a sofa which can fit almost two people to sleep. Next in the way, Wooyoung entered the van and shut the door.

“Help me.” He is not asking you, this way he is totally commanding you so you quickly asked them for the necessary medicines and cotton and water and lastly the bandages. His black loose leathery pants are matching with the way his sweaty muscles and neck are shining under the yellow light seems like a smooth buttery material is wrapped around his skin.

Wooyoung provide you with all the things you asked for and you scooted near san to start clean his wounds but his hands pull you close and made you sit on his lap while his one leg is folded to make you sit on it and the other one is spread in front and near the feet, Wooyoung is sitting eyes bored in his phone.

“You need to come closer to take a proper look at the wound.” You want to scream for this close proximity but keeping your mouth and mind shut, you just nodded on his words.

You are so immersed in cleaning his wound, you didn’t notice a small smile on his lips and the way his hands moving upward to caress your back. The sudden touch made you shift in your place and when you look at his eyes, they are still closed. You brushed off the feeling and continue doing your work when his one hand grabs your neck tightly but not much to make you uncomfortable and the other hand holds your hand which was resting on his shoulder. You stopped what you were doing.

“Did I tell you to stop?”

“I a-am  do-doing it.” You know he is up with something but a tingling sensation inside you is making you excited and let him to do whatever he wants.

“What happened? Is there something making you uncomfortable?”

“……no.”

“Then continue.” You resume your actions but this time his hand holding your other wrist leaves it and put it on your knees and sliding them upward in the way folding your skirt slowly revealing your thighs and the grip on your neck tightens. This cause you to scratch the wound a bit.

“Ah!” your and wooyoung’s worried eyes looked his way. Wooyoung asked him when taking his and yours position precisely, “What hurt you again?”

“Nothing Woo, just someone is being a bad girl here.”

“I’m sorry but……” But? What will you say? That your damn hand is distracting me and now you have to repay me for distracting me from my one-night healer job? You remained quiet.

“But?” Woo asked you from behind so you turned your head to see him smirking.

“I think she is not willing to help me with this so maybe she can help me with something else.”

“Huh?” You didn’t get what San is referring to when he suddenly make you sit facing Woo and leaning your back to his chest. You tried to sit up but he grabs your throat lightly and pressed your torso down.

“Woo why don’t we celebrate the night in our own way?”

“I’m liking the celebration already.”

“Celebration?”

San whispered in your ears, “You are going to help me in this celebration or you are not getting home tonight. I know your body is also aching with the excitement for this.”

Wooyoung scoots near to your figure and he unbuttons your shirt revealing you in a white bra underneath it. His hungry eyes scans all over the exposed part and in action your hands moved to hide them but got held back by San.

“No need to hide this prettiness from us.” Your eyes following how wooyoung shifted your skirt a bit upward to reveal the dark wet patch on your panty.

“San she is already so wet for us.”

“Mhm….She is equally excited for us to devour her as she is our main dessert for the celebration for my win.” His hands slide down your shirt from the shoulders to prepper your neck and shoulder with wet kisses and biting on some places. You whimpered when he bit you near the ear and then he got to know that is your sweet spot so he repeatedly bit you in that region. Meanwhile, Wooyoung slide down your panties slowly and removing your shoes in the way. He placed himself between your legs and him sitting on his knees holding your knees apart to view your folds.

“San I want to taste her first. I want to taste whether the dessert is as delicious I have expected or more than that.” San chuckled on Woo’s dedication and paused on his way of devouring you. He grabs your chin and made you look at him, “Woo please eat her out and I want to see how long she can keep her little mouth shut from us.” Then San kissed you, a dominating kiss and when he said you are their dessert, he really meant it because the way he is sucking your lips and then he bit you to open your mouth and obediently your mouth opened to which his tongue exploring the inner mouth all over. Wooyoung’s tight grip on your inner thigh and his hot breath fanning over your folds made you alert of his presence between your legs and your exposed parts.

“Mhmmmm” this is what you could manage to say between the kiss when your aching heat comes in contact with wooyoung’s hot breathe.

Suddenly, Woo takes a long strip from the lower regio to the upper fold and this made your body arche but held back in place by San. San detach his lips from you to look at Woo and you also followed his gaze to see him looking upward with lust in eyes and your leaking arousal on his lips.

“She really tastes like the most delicious dessert than I ever had.”

“She tasted exactly the same up here as well.” San replied to agree with Woo.

San pushed your head on his shoulder when his one hand grabs your throat and the other one on your thigh. His mouth attached with the side of your throat to suck on them. Woo is sucking your folds as if that is his favorite dessert he got after years and this is the last time he has his hands onto. The overwhelming sensation is causing to building up a knot in your stomach and you close your eyes tightly to keep yourself enough with the feel of taking you to the edge.

“San….Woo….”You breathily moaned and then San spoke up. You gripped Woo’s hair tightly making him grunt in pain and pushing his face more inward while the other hand is gripping SAN’s thigh, almost your nails digging in.

“You are not going to cum unless we are satisfied enough to let it loose.”

You shook your head as it was already too much for you to control and now his commanding voice is making it impossible to hold it in. To your disapproval san’s hand travelled down to your clit and starts rubbing circle adding to the already stimulated region.

“SAN!......please no….please….I want to….”

“Should we stop?” Your ears are taking in the wet sounds of woo sucking your folds and San’s wet kisses on your throat but his words warned you.

“NO.”

“Then take what we are giving or else we are leaving you here.” You are totally whimpering under the touches and sucking of two males. Woo’s grip on your thigh is making a read handprint and while san’s other hand is messaging your covered tits and one is rubbing circles. Woo’s tongue entered your wet folds and San inserted one finger into the hole making a sloppy sound. Thrusting of tongue and finger is too much for you and keeping you on edge for so long is making you overstimulated with the sensation.

“Cum.” San’s whisper sends an electric wave to your body and you let it loose.

“Woo!…..I- I-��. San.” You are heavily breathing and you didn’t notice that San has removed your cloth covering your tits and woo removed the skirt from your waist. Woo tiredly comes up to take one of your breasts into his mouth and messaging the other one.

San again welcomed you to a more rough and needy kiss this time. During the kiss, San removed his sando and woo got up to free himself from every clothing from his body. You look towards Woo and then you see how well built his body is. Probably he also goes to practices with San. Woo smirked when he caught you staring at him.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Do you need one?” Why is this man suddenly interested in my private life? I mean I know I am having nothing to hide here at this point but still.

“ I don’t know.”

“ But we know.” San suddenly interjects between you and Wooyoung.

“What?”

“You don’t need boyfriend anymore when you got us.”

“Us?”

“Oh Y/N, our sweet dessert. The moment we saw you in that cute pink outfit, we were determined to make you our only dessert.” Woo made his way near both of you.

“Moreover you are my fan.” San spoke from behind when Woo took you from him to hold in his embrace and facing you both towards San. Your eyes following him how he throws away his pants and quickly get off his boxers revealing his hard length to you.

“I’m not your fan. I just came here to accompany my friend and that’s how you saw me holding that sign board.”

“That’s pity that you are not a fan of my boy but you are still my girl.”

“I’m not your girl.” San quickly made his way in front of you holding you tightly to enter your entrance. His length teasing you and Woo’s hard length poking in your lower back from behind making you anxious to feel them inside you.

“Look at me.” Your eyes quickly look up to meet San’s eyes.

“Have you done this before?”

“no.”

“We will keep that in mind but we won’t go easy on you .”

“We?”

“We both will enter you the same time and maybe then we will take turns if you can keep up.”

“ I don’t think-“ San entered you and his big length makes your eyes teary and san kissed away your tears and cooed you.

“Its okay sweetheart. I know you can take us. Trust us and everything will be fine."

You nodded your head on his words and he entered your entrance with ease again and his length widens your holes which cause your eyes to water even more. Your hands move upward to touch his abs and to feel him more close than already he is.

“SAN!”

His thrusts are sloppy and he is caressing your back and cooing in your ears to make you calm. He kissed away your teary eyes to make you feel the little comfort in that state. Woo entered you from behind and the pain for taking another length makes you to cry out.

“Woo..”

“It’s okay sweetheart. Take it. You can do it well.”

Woo added, “ I know you can do take me too.”

You made your concentration focused on the two lengths inside of you to make you at ease. You didn’t have sex with anyone before but you have taken off this sexual frustration off from you on your own. Relationship is a big deal for you as you overthink about every little thing in your life but tonight you let all of your thoughts to be aside and just go with the flow.

Their thrusts are sloppy and in sync with each other. They are praising you with their nicknames of their own, San is calling you his sweetheart and woo as his girl but the common name they have given you is ‘Dessert’. Why not because tonight you are their desert for the celebration for his win.

“San….Woo…”

You can feel a familiar knot is building up inside of you and their thrusts are increasing in pace. SAN’s thrusts are more aggressive and faster in pace while Woo’s thrusts are rhythmical and a bit gentle.

“You are so tight…agh…” woo growled and sucked on your neck.

“You feel so good wrapped around me. You are doing so well for us.” San praised you and pulled your hairs backward to rest your head on woo’s shoulder and then he leans forward to kiss your chest and gliding his mouth to one of your breast and sucking them hard and messaging the other in process. Woo’s one hand gripping your hip similarly like San to maintain his pace and the other one playing with the nipple of the one San is messaging. They repeated the same action with the other one in the same way.

You are a whimpering mess now and under all these touches with two males thrusting inside of you making you talk rubbish. Your are choking on your words because of the pain and also the pleasure you are feeling making your vision go white. Their pace increase and you are about to let it burst and you can feel by their words that they are also at their edge.

“SAN I’m about to cum. Woo please let me cum. Please San”

“Yes sweetheart. I know , just wait a bit more.”

“My girl. I will cum soon.” Woo thrusted deeply and after three thrusts he came. He rested his head on your shoulders and breathing heavily. SAN’s thrusts increase again and the sloppy sound in your entrance making you to let it go by any instant. Woo hold one of the breast and the other hand rubbing circle on your clit when he suddenly puts his lips on you.

“Woo….please…this is too much.”

“Cum.”

“San!”

You both cum together but he didn’t take it out of you rather sloppily thrusting inside you. The exhausted self of yours is very sensitive to this overstimulation but they didn’t stop their action until you all ride out your high.

“ my girl is the best and did so well.” Woo leaned to his back and let you rest against his body. San pulled himself out of you and pulls a cloth from nearby hanger and wiped your face. He threw that cloth away and take you on his lap and embraced your body as if protecting you from the whole universe.

“Sweetheart you did so well for me and for us. Thank you.”

“Hmmm…” San is rocking you on his lap. Woo sit beside him and caress his hand all over your body to make you feel at ease.

“My girl is so sleepy.” Woo caress your head lightly.

“SAN I need to go home.”

Woo asked you, “ Do you think you can walk?”

“It’s okay sweetheart. You sleep and we will drive you home later.”

“You don’t know my address.” Your eyes are hooded and can’t think of anything as your brain is still foggy brain.

“It’s okay I don’t need it when we can take you to our house as it’s also yours from today.”

Woo added, “ if we need your address then we can ask it from Yeosang.”

You nodded and clinged to San and your other hand hold woo closer to your body. San kissed you on your forehead and woo kissed you on the shoulder and pulls a cover over to cover three of you.

“Sleep my girl. We have so much to talk about tomorrow.”

“Sweetheart don’t worry about anything as you are now with us. We have to take care of you, our dessert who has melted with all the exhaustion and we are not letting you go now. Sleep.”

Maybe this is something you really needed in life. A life with these two about whom you didn’t know anything few hours ago but now they are the ones comforting you in their embrace and protecting you from the whole universe. Your life possibly can be better with them and maybe something more interesting the future holds for three of you.

You fell into slumber and them holding you close tightly in their embrace away from the whole world.

In the silence of the night, there is a sweet dessert kept warm. The happiness can only be ended on a good note with a dessert.

———————————-

This is my first time writing SMUT so please do tell me whether I should write further any smut fics or not.🥹

———————————-

[peachhcs]

https://www.tumblr.com/peachhcs/767185748593164288/httpswwwtumblrcompeachhcs766739881092415488

i love this omg! i’m glad they are together maybe they need one more talking seriously to each other and samy is trying to tell him her fears and what she is scared of now it’s a much needed talk

i do love a side plot but this also does feel like it could easily be in the main plot to you know? whatever you want !

part 9!! sorry this took me longer to finish 🥲 let me know what else we want from this side plot!

au masterlist

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8

will found samy on the steps of back patio as the day drew into mid afternoon. they were watching a movie together and when the hockey player vaguely remembered dozing off from being somewhat jet lagged still. when he woke back up, samy wasn’t beside him like she was when he fell asleep and the tv that had the movie playing was running through a random tv show.

the girl’s back was to him, so she didn’t will at first and he didn’t didn’t say anything. he took those few seconds to admire her and the way her brown curls fell down her torso into frizzy little ends. to will, she looked so pretty like that. the sun was casting a perfect glow around her figure despite it being early october. god, he adored her so much.

will finally cleared his throat to grab her attention. she spun around, surprised, but happy to see him there.

“hi, didn’t know if you were gonna wake up,” the soccer player teased some as he joined her on the step and immediately reached her fingers up to brush his misplaced curls away.

“yeah, guess the jet lag got to me,” will admitted while returning her soft smile with one of his own.

“guess so. sleep well?” samy hummed, still toying with his hair.

“yeah, i slept fine. maybe i’ll get used to it by the time i leave again,” the couple shared a laugh. she eventually pulled her hand away warning a small grunt in response and will missing the way her fingers felt in his hair and on his skin.

“what are you doing out here?” he finally asked, his gaze following hers that diverted towards the hughes’ nearly five acre yard in front of them. in every space and corner, will could picture a memory that occurred there and the thoughts earned a bright smile on his features.

everything in michigan felt so nostalgic to him nowadays after finishing the ntdp. will spent primitive teenage years in this backyard and to think he was in the nhl now and they weren’t fifteen anymore.

“just thinking,” the brunette shrugged with her good shoulder.

“anything in particular?” will smiled, poking just a bit.

“not really, no.”

they exchanged a glance and maybe will was just in his head again, but he didn’t quite believe her. he knew when samy had something on her mind and didn’t say it and this was one of those times. she was being way to quiet for his liking because she’d always have 100 things to talk about no matter how stupid it was.

“you’re gonna say you don’t believe me, right?” samy beat him to it, a tiny smile on her lips because she also knew what her boyfriend was thinking. that was just how well they knew one another. will’s cheeks flushed a bit.

“uh, no. i wasn’t, but if there is something on your mind, you know you can talk to me right?” will offered because he wasn’t gonna over push it if samy really didn’t want to talk about anything.

“what if i said it’s about us?” her tone dropped and will could feel the seriousness washing over them.

he sucked in a breath, suddenly feeling the need to straighten himself up. “okay,” he waited for her to go on.

“i guess i’ve just been thinking more about..about why i didn’t call you..” the brunette began just as will shook his head.

“no, no you know you don’t have to keep apologizing about that. i get it. i do. i—“

“no, no, will, i should’ve called you. i don’t know why i didn’t. i..i guess i’ve just been..scared?” the girl’s voice became small and timid which wasn’t something will heard a lot from samy.

“scared? of what? me?” his heart twisted at that idea.

“no, no, god, no. i’d never be scared of you, don’t worry,” samy quickly clarified.

“then what is it? is it something i’m doing? not doing?” will was really determined to not fuck this all up again, so he’d literally do anything to make samy comfortable and meet her needs.

“no, it’s nothing you’re doing. i think it’s just my own insecurities,” she shook her head, but will wasn’t really following.

“what do you mean?”

“i think..i think i’m still a little bit affected from our breakup this summer. it might sound stupid but my insecurities have made me feel like i’m a burden to people and i’ll just be too much again. or not enough? i don’t really know,” samy dodged his glance by staring at the ground.

her words felt like an arrow straight into the hockey player’s heart that he didn’t even know how to respond. a pang of guilt washed over him and suddenly, he felt horrible that he fucked their entire relationship in the first place all because he thought he couldn’t do it.

a painful silence washed over them mixed with a bit of tension when will didn’t answer right away. samy bit at her lip, knowing she shouldn’t have brought it up in the first place.

“shit, i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have said anything. it’s stupid—“

“wait, no, no it’s not stupid. it’s not. don’t invalidate your feelings,” will finally found his words.

“i-i’m really sorry i’ve made you feel this way. i was being dumb and..fuck. you’re not a burden, samy. god, you could never be too much or a burden to me. i’d literally drop everything for you i mean, i did drop everything for you,” the boy continued, trying his best to reassure samy of any doubt in her mind.

he searched for her gaze and when she finally looked at him, will saw all of it in that single gaze. the hurt, the pain, the mistrust and it broke his heart into a million pieces that she still felt all of this.

will reached out slowly, a hesitation and a silent request that he could touch her face. when she didn’t refuse, will’s hands cupped her cheeks, bringing her so close that their noses were inches apart.

“i love you, samy. nothing will ever change that for me, i promise. you mean so much to me. i’m really sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me you were hurt and i’m trying to do better. i wanna be better for you,” will admitted everything. he watched the girl’s gaze slowly soften out which he took as a good sign, especially when her forehead laid against his own.

“i love you, will. you mean a lot to me too. it’s just been a long journey to getting back together that i’m still working on. i’m really glad you’re here,” the two exchanged loving smiles and that’s when samy opened her mouth to kiss him. he took the hint fairly quickly, their lips connecting and closing the little space left.

“tell me what needs to happen to gain your full trust back and i’ll make it happen. i promise,” will said when they pulled apart.

samy smiled, “how about just spending all our time together until you have to leave again?”

“i like the sound of that,” will kissed the side of her head.

the couple stayed outside until it got too cold to be out there in just a sweatshirt. they cuddled back up on the couch together and for once, there was no anxiety about anything—just what they were eating for dinner and what movie they were gonna watch next.

[vigilxnte-shit]

anxiety || matt murdock x reader

tuna-tober day 9

summary: inside out 2

word count: 815

warnings: BYE im finishing this half asleep at one am with 50 mg of zoloft in my system it’s not edited at all and also there is obviously anxiety mentions i might delete this in the morning okay bye 

a/n: largely based on my own experiences with anxiety so i hope i didn’t make it too specific!

this is an 18+ blog. minors dni. || masterlist

it started with your sleep schedule. 

you’d never been an early riser, staying up until the sunlight since you had learned how to read when you were six, always one to prefer the quiet and the dark to invasive sunlight and early-morning birdsong. the night had become a friend, a peaceful state in which you got to just be. you’d survived high school on four hours of sleep a night- that was how much you loved your quiet hours. 

but you weren’t in high school anymore. one four-hour night now rendered you a dysfunctioning zombie, and that was the most sleep you’d gotten in a single night this week. you’d spent your time at the office blinking a lot and picking up a fresh coffee cup every two hours. foggy had needed to take your fourth brew out of your hands, insisting he could practically hear your heartbeat, and it was about to jump out of your chest at this acceleration rate. 

you had walked home with matt, as per usual, hand in his as you “guided” him through the streets. he was good at keeping up the blind act, and you used that to zero in. you watched him tap his cane back and forth, nodded along to his stories, and threw in the occasional “yeah.” it was almost embarrassing, the way he was leading you instead, but your mind was not on the new york sidewalk with him. 

“is everything alright?” he’d asked at dinner, concern written in his sightless eyes. you’d just nodded and taken your next bite, taking your time chewing. 

“just a little anxious, is all.” 

he’d already known that. it was almost too obvious, actually, between the lack of sleep and the zoning out and the rising heart rate, but he hadn’t wanted to press. instead, he’d left for patrol with the best reassurances he could give you: that he’d be safe and back before you knew it, that he loved you and that he couldn’t wait to be back in your bed, but when he snuck out the window, the last shreds of your sanity clung to the tails of his black mask. when the devil left, the remaining demons were always harder to deal with. 

“do they hate me?” you thought. “karen and foggy. do they actually like me or do they just tolerate my presence for matt?” no, you reminded yourself, they’re my friends, they at least like me…

and the flood gates were opened. 

did they actually like you, or was it just courtesy? did you come up in conversations over beer at josies, and if you did, was it in a positive light? did they think you were incompetent? you certainly thought so- the way you still couldn’t figure out legal strategy, the way your messed up sleep patterns sometimes had you file things incorrectly. maybe you had answered a call incorrectly. wait, the phone lines had gone down a couple of days ago- maybe it was a miscommunication. they wouldn’t hold that against you, right? actually, on that note, had those been plugged in again properly? what if there was a fault in the wire? was the office on fire? no. that was ridiculous. you could check in the morning…you could call matt. he could stop by and check. of course you could, he’d be more than happy to, because he loved you.

…right?

that was the thought you couldn’t move past. the one that kept you awake, staring at your ceiling, analyzing every detail of every interaction you and matt had recently shared. he didn’t seem off, at least not in any typical matt sense, but maybe he was hiding it. how could he ever love someone who talked so much, who thought too much, who-

“sweetheart.” 

his low, gravelly voice instantly pulled you out of your stupor. 

“matty?” you asked softly. “you’re back early.” 

“couldn’t leave,” he admitted. “i’ve been outside the window. didn’t like how fast you were breathing.”

that was all he had to say. that was matt speak for “i know you need me”. you watched as he slowly changed, stripping down as casual as ever before pulling on a clean pair of boxers and jumping in bed with you. 

without a word, you snuggled up to his chest. he held you close against him, his hand cupping your skull in a protective gesture. 

“we gotta figure this out,” he said softly. “get you some meds, or a therapist, or something.” 

you nodded. you didn’t have the energy for anything else. 

with a smile and a soft kiss to your temple, he whispered to you. 

“close your eyes. let’s rest that pretty head, yeah? we’ll talk about this in the morning.” 

but his sentence was only heard by the surrounding air, filled with the sounds of your even breath. 

the best medicine for your racing heart was his.

[6littlefishes]

A student (me) read Jekyll and Hyde and said the following: "Jekyll and Utterson are gay for each other and if they had only communicated with each other properly, confessing that they are gay for each other or venting about their shitty lives, and maybe even kissed, it would've solved all of their problems."

To what extent do you agree?

I love Jekyll and Hyde and I've done this text since year 9. But Utterson is too much of a goody-two-shoes, even though he likes which was so obvious, whilst Jekyll... I didn't notice it when I read it, but as I read it and other people's findings, I started to realise their intense relationship.

First, Mr Utterson believes that Jekyll and Hyde are having gay sex and Hyde is blackmailing him (is he jealous or what??). He said Henry is "dreaming and smiling in his dream (or something like that when Mr Utterson has a nightmare". How does he know that he's dreaming and smiling? I know he wants Jekyll to be in peace, but specifically, how does he know that he smiles when he dreams? Does he watch Jekyll sleep at night or what 😭

Then Mr Utterson stalks the guy every second of his free time, in the early hours, when he has broken from being a lawyer and at night, like I know you are concerned about your "friend" but the fact that you spend all your free time stalking him means you really wanna protect that mad scientist and you have nothing to do.

Then Utterson's like "My poor Harry Jekyll" (or something along the lines, idk) in his thoughts. Yes, it's a nickname from when they were friends. It's a nickname, right? No, because when he tries to talk to Henry, he doesn't call him "Harry", he calls him "Jekyll" 😭. Tf does it mean, that Mr Utterson's been repressing his desire to call Jekyll "Harry". Literally, they are close friends/best friends but he's such a pussy and loser to tell Jekyll he wants to be more than that!

Then Mr Utterson's willing to break the law to protect his friend. He knew that Jekyll would be in court for Hyde because his cane was used as a murder weapon and all that, but Utterson bends the law by allowing Jekyll to not come to court and even trusting him that he's fine. 😭

Oh and let's not forget that Utterson describes Jekyll's hands "Now the hand of Henry Jekyll (as you have often remarked) was professional in shape and size: it was large, firm, white, and comely." Now that this is chapter 10  where Mr Utterson read Jekyll's confession. How often does Mr Utterson talk about Jekyll's hands? If the two have a conversation, does Mr Utterson usually like to comment on Jekyll's hands? He likes Jekyll, even his hands. He might as well hold it in his hand man!

Now it's Jekyll's turn (do not think he can get away with him being a pathetic pussy as well!) There isn't a lot I can find. But that stupid doctor would tell Utterson that everything is okay and all that bullshit; like stop repressing your bloody emotions. If you keep doing that you never will have what you wanna do with Utterson. Also, he doesn't want Utterson to get involved. We know that he doesn't like Mr Utterson to judge him for being Hyde and all that stuff. But they have been friends since childhood, which was stated somewhere in chapter 2, and Mr Utterson is non-judgemental. Surely Jekyll did something worse than creating Hyde, right? Also, Jekyll knows that Mr Hyde is dangerous, and knowing that they are best friends and the fact that Jekyll doesn't want Mr Utterson to get involved, it could suggest that Jekyll is trying to protect Utterson from him/Hyde.

I was gonna say about Dr Jekyll giving his entire fortune to Utterson, but it seems that Utterson was the only friend Jekyll can trust at the end of the novella.

If only Jekyll talked to Utterson about his shitty life and confessed to him, this would never have happened in the first place, or Utterson's like "fuck society, I drink gin and wanna watch some shitty plays, I might as well as confess to Jekyll" 😭. LEARN HOW TO COMMUNICATE FOLKS!!

This is all I can find in this novella. If I missed anything please reply, or you can challenge my viewpoint if you want to. I'm sorry I'm literally fixated onto this novella because I love this novella so much.

Overall, I feel like Stevenson wrote this to be more like: Learn how to not repress your feelings and learn how to communicate or you'll end up like these two freaks.

I just realised I just made the title of this post look like a lang paper 1, question 4. If you wanna respond to it as a practice for Jekyll and Hyde and lang paper 1, go ahead (and I would love to read your responses).

Edit: Based on what I said on Gay Sex, let's not forget the gentle language used in the bedroom. "Plucked" all of that. Like imagine having a random man in your room and you use erotic language to describe it? Not to mention in your bedroom, which makes this scene more erotic. Perhaps Utterson is not having a nightmare, but is having sexual fantasies about Jekyll and b coming jealous of Hyde

[rosiarie]

2025 intentions

this year was a blur for me. i've died and been reborn more times than i can count. in all, 2024 was a year of change. i learned so many things, fell in love for the first time, and i've changed as a person. i was my most happiest and the most sad i've been. what i've learned is that time waits for no one, and in the time that i am alive, i want to live a life i am proud of. to be pure in the face of adversity is a strength i wish to keep. <3

here are my intentions for 2025:

quotidian:

wake up early - my earliest class next quarter is a 12 am, so i want to wake up early enough to eat breakfast at the dining commons and before the bathrooms are cleaned - around 9:10 am - to get ready for the day. i've noticed that my best days are the days i wake up early, wear a well-planned outfit, pack my bag diligently, and eat breakfast. i feel like i haven't wasted the day.

eat 3 meals a day - i struggled with eating breakfast as a first year my first quarter since i had a 10 am and breakfast closes at 11 am, so i skipped my breakfast every day. i only ate breakfast four or three times! counting weekends too. this is clearly unhealthy, and i noticed it took a toll on my health, sleeping schedule, and academic life.

sleep before 12 pm - my sleeping habits have been soso unhealthy and doom scrolling has just worsened it. i will allow myself the pleasure of still doom scrolling some nights, but i will not allow myself to sleep late anymore. it is very unhealthy, and it wrecks the rest of your next day, too.

journal daily - journaling daily was never one of those things i cared for. i've always cared about journaling, but i've always prioritized journaling as a weekly chore. i want to start journaling every night, at least three sentences, about something that stood out to me about the day. un petit souvenir à souvenir. i always journal in a narrative sense (i can make a post more on this!) rather than a "what i did today" which i am so glad i do because it makes reading back so much more fun!

read every other day - i've (so far.. there's still a few more days of 2024!) read 19 books in 2024, which to some may be a grand lot, but i have read so much more in the past! i do enjoy reading so much, but it feels more like a hobby now than a habit (which it used to be). i used to enjoy reading in the sense of just immersion, and i would pick any random story i was curious about. nowadays, i seem to find myself reading only one genre, which i want to change. in 2025, i plan to read more nonfiction texts and other genres; books that'll teach me things as well as novels for pleasure.

gym 4x a week - it's true what they say, physical exercise 100% helps boost serotonin levels and health in general! going to the gym more will help my mood, sleep, and confidence. i want to work on my body before summer, and look as good as i feel. i believe in myself to gain the body i want!

less partying - as a college freshman, you are kind of pressured to go out and party (mostly by your own fomo than from other people). it's what you think you're supposed to like. but i've come to my own conclusion that though partying can be fun, it's not something that i want to continue to do every friday. being hungover on saturday, not being able to do any work, and cramming all of sunday evening has been damaging to both my health and grades. i want to set my intentions of going out better, maybe once or twice a month when i know i can relax or genuinely want to. even if i feel like "i've earned it", if i don't really want to experience the side effects, i won't. that also makes partying during special occasions like halloweekend, st. fratty's day, and sorority/frat mixers to name a few more fun !

less entertaining things not meant for you - as a college freshman, i've had countless guys coming up to me, dming me, and asking me out. i either refrain from dming them back or softly reject them. but with some, i have talked to a little or gone on a date or two. though it's good practice, honestly, it was a waste of time. like any girl, i would love to have a caring and intelligent bf, but it isn't something i want to actively seek. my education and self-improvement have to be at the forefront of my mind, and i'm taking men out of the picture. until i meet the right man who meets all my qualifications, no matter how good-looking or charming a guy is, if his intentions aren't pure and his presence is not bringing actual value into my life, i'm not entertaining it no longer.

academic:

start early on new material before class - there was a girl in one of my classes last quarter that told me she would review the chapter before our prof went over it in class. i told myself, i'm going to do that now! but i never did. she understood the concepts soo well in that class, and i want to implement this trick to help me next quarter too!

pack my bag the night before - i'm always missing my hand cream or a water bottle in my bag when i pack it before class. doing this saves sm time and is much more efficient than running out of your door late!!

study everyday - no more cramming - i've always been a procrastinator and crammer. i fooled myself into thinking studying the few days before helped better, but honestly, that only helped my short-term memory retention skills. long-term understanding > short-term memory. i mainly want to study economics daily, but also languages, such as retaining french (non-native but fluent) and learning chinese (beginner!).

more study dates - now this can get a little iffy because sometimes studying with friends leads to being distracted from your work. but personally, i've spent my first quarter as a college freshman studying mostly with myself. i regret this so much because it is so fun when you do study with friends [that know when to lock in]. eating afterwards, getting a sweet treat, chatting a little, are all ways to keep yourself sane while studying.

anyways,

that's all for today. let me know what kind of posts you guys are interested in from me. this is my first "real" tumblr blog post, so pls be nice lol ! i would love to hear from you guys :) i will probably post 2-3x a week.

remember that you are protected. no weapon formed against you shall prosper. bisous!

[tmntheadcanons]

Hi! 🖖🏻

Can I ask abt morning routine from tmnt 2003? It maybe fun,if Leo and Mikey are morning persons and Raph and Donny more like owls 🥲

or just Mikey is morning happy boy 😁

Thank you! 🍀

I'm so sorry this took so long! I was out of town for all of January and then I got swamped with school and work. But I love this prompt so much! In these head canons I'm assuming this is on average days where they aren't on late night patrols or anything. Just more casual days.

Leonardo:

Leo goes to bed (or at least falls asleep) late. But he is usually the first to get up in the morning.

I feel like Leo enjoys the quiet first thing in the morning. He likes to get up, make tea and just relax in the living room for like half an hour before anyone else gets up.

He might slip outside for a little bit and watch the sunrise while it's still quiet out.

Tea is his preference for a morning drink but he'll take coffee if he's really tired.

First thing in the morning Leo is usually pretty calm and relaxed. I feel like he might even be more sociable in the morning. Like if someone is up at the same time as him he'll suggest they go out and watch the sunrise together and hang out for a bit.

As a kid, the morning is when Leo got a lot of one on one time with Splinter. He and Splinter would be the first ones up, Splinter would make him tea and breakfast and they would talk. So mornings are kind of domestic and peaceful for Leo.

He wakes up around 6-7. Maybe even as early at 5 depending on how late he was up the previous night.

Raphael:

Usually wakes up to the sound of his family being loud.

If left to his own devices he would naturally wake up at around 10, but he's a light sleeper so he's up around the time Leo, Splinter and Mikey start making noise.

The first thing he does is go and eat breakfast. He just heads straight for whatever Mikey just made and if Mikey didn't make anything then it's cereal straight out of the box for Raph.

Raph isn't cranky in the morning he's actually pretty quiet. He just wanders into the kitchen, casually grunts to announce he is awake, eats his breakfast and lets his brain catch up with him.

Once he is awake enough he'll usually go and do a pre-training work out to get warmed up.

Wakes up at around 8:30-9.

Donatello:

He sets 10 different alarms and he might actually get out of bed at alarm #7.

He violently rolls over, slams his snooze button and goes right back to bed. The movement is so swift now the alarm will only go off for a second so it doesn't wake up the entire house (Not that it matters because he is probably the last on up anyway)

Doesn't even wipe the crust out of his eyes before he is checking his phone.

Donatello is actually the one who is cranky in the morning. If he is awoken before his alarm there will be bloodshed.

He won't be functional for at least 15 minutes right after he wakes up. He makes a beeline for the kitchen, gets coffee and just sits at the table and stares into his mug.

He gets up at 9:30 exactly because that's the latest splinter will let him sleep in for before he starts making comments about the importance of a balanced sleep schedule.

But the day after late night missions he will sleep until 1 pm no problem.

Michelangelo:

Mikey is naturally a morning person. Even when he is up late he rarely sleeps in past 9.

When Mikey was a kid, all the good cartoons were on first thing in the morning. Also Splinter let him watch tv before training so the earlier he was up, the more he could watch. So that trained Mikey to be up when the sun comes up

Mikey's mornings are slow and relaxing. He gets up, wanders down into the kitchen and starts making breakfast. He will throw on some coffee and he'll cook for everybody. Then when he is done he will grab a blanket, sit on the couch and watch cartoons while he eats breakfast. (He never grew out of loving a good morning cartoon)

His usual breakfasts are pancakes, scrambled eggs, waffles, french toast and bacon he likes something sweet in the morning.

Also I bet he puts a ton of cream and sugar in his coffee.

He's upbeat in the morning and he's probably pretty loud. His brothers will wake up to the sound of loud singing and dishes clanging in the kitchen.

On average he wakes up at around 7-8.

[wereprinxe]

I'll give you one whole kiss if you make fankid for Porter/Vincent (and maybe Asher/Sam, if you're looking for something a little more out there)

If listeners are okay, Lovely/Darlin, Darlin/Sweetheart, or Darlin/Lasko, maybe?

Whooaaa, we got a pileeee!

Porter/Vincent

Ah Lucius, what a spoiled brat fella. He really likes attention, but struggles at making friends, simiarly to early Vincent, but he doesnt at least go to peoples apartment, he is too anxious for that HDHSHEH /j a latent illusory who loves sparkling things, color silver and royalcore stuff and thrillers and horrors, loves to collect little trinkets. May seem stupid and unimportant, but he loves them and you will never ever be able to make him throw them away. He/him, transgender ftm, asexual (heteroromantic)

Asher/Sam

Dear Sunday! Easily mistaken for a werewolf, but is actually a weredog! Full of life and energy, such a goody two shoes going to sleep at 9 PM! But can be considered a try-hard, very empathic but also sensitive and easily relates to even little kids, who cries in a store (they dont like seeing people crying) and unfortunazely bad at comforting, but they try their best! But will always appreciate their alone time in peace, in corner of their room, covered in a blanket like a melted snowman, watching their comfort anime. They/them, pangender, aromantic pansexual

Lovely/Darlin'

Ah, this one is quite a trick up your sleeve! Blair is someone you can always trust, but can get quite unpredictable. They really like magic tricks, especially ones with cards and pull small, yet (positively) meaningful jokes on their friends and never mean to hurt anyone. Until you hurt their friend, then a fist will fly at your direction (their parents are so PROUD!). Quite the stealth this fella is! They/them (sometimes he/him), agender and lithosexual

Darlin'/Sweetheart

Ever heard of Dakota? No? Where do you live, under a rock?? Theyre THE definition of a popular kid! They make the name of psychokinetics! They really love old detective sitcoms like Columbo or Hercule Poirot, can sometimes even check House M.D. and such and is a writer at heart, following the footsteps of Sherlock Holmes and Ace Attorney to mix goofy and serious to create an incredible story and hopefully become famous even more! Their stubbornness can easily lead them to burnout and they seem selfish, but theyre most generous person in the world. They/them, agenderfluid, asexual biromantic

Darlin'/Lasko

Oh, sweet dear Jupiter. A lot of people unfortunately judge xem before they even get the chance, due to their scary built. This werewolf (who is also really good at basic air control) can't help but feel really alone, deal with depression and causes them to overthink every social situation. But worry not, some people may still find xem very attractive, but will not talk to xem anyway, afraid of rejection. But xe just wants people to trust other than xys parents! Will never judge anyone and is always eager to help, even strangers and is incredibly physically strong. Xe is their parent's little hero <3 xe/xem, bigender, bisexual

[o2studies]

Yesterday: ༻`` 🦎 Friday — 9 Aug 24

_, Academic Weapon Challenge Day 8 ˎˊ-

|| Sleep: Maybe 7hrs 30?

|| Routine: I don't think I did anything

|| Deep focus: I was painting for most of the day. It's a gift for my dad on his birthday and the painting was taking foreverrrrrr

|| Body: I took both of my dogs for a walk and it was exhausting honestly, the younger one pulls on this lead and has no sense of personal space so she'll just push into my other dog. I'll definitely stick to walking them one at a time.

|| Mind: I listened to a good amount of Gone Girl and I'm (finally) nearing the end of the book! I also had a great and very helpful talk with J about some things that have been going on recently in my life.

// 🍊

༻`` 🦎 Saturday — 10 Aug 24

_, Academic Weapon Challenge Day 9 ˎˊ-

I had an absolutely amazing day today!!

|| Sleep: Just over 6 hours of sleep (I talked with J till a bit after midnight, couldn't fall asleep and had to get up early to feed my dogs)

|| Routine: So after feeding my dogs I went back to bed for like 30mins (I was sooo tired 😮‍💨) but when that alarm went off I didn't snooze it, did 5 pushups and had a sip of water!

|| Deep focus: Just painting again (I finished the gift today!)

|| Body: I did 5 pushups before my bath and walked one of my dogs but when I was hanging out with K, A and J we walked around a good bit also (I love and cherish them so so much <33333)

^ Yes it was me that tied grass around A's shoelaces 😊

|| Mind: I listened to more of Gone Girl and read some of The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress

I also drove up to meet my friends and then back and I'm so much more comfortable driving by myself now and on the roads in general! (although they are familiar roads that I'm driving) and I'm getting better with parking!

I'll also start some new counters:

Day 1 clean (I sh and I've not done it for a few days and I don't do it often at all, and I wasn't planning on stopping but today I decided that I will :) )

Day 0 (I pick at my skin and nails a lot and I really want to stop, and I'm getting a lot better with it! but I haven't went a day where I haven't picked at my skin in some way for so so long)

Floor time ☑️ (a friend today mentioned that he likes to lie on the floor, another said that they do it too and I'd like to do it a lot more often. I feel like it might help a lot; in de-stressing, calming myself, resting in a better and healthier way, and helping to stop bad habits. So even if I'm feeling fine I'dstill like to lie down on the floor at some point each day) // 🍊

[klaprisun]

One Sunny Day

(Stardew Valley) (Haley x Female Farmer)

Chapter 4

The next morning, the sun starts to gently beam through the curtain-less windows. It was enough to wake me up from my deep sleep. Yesterday wore me out so good that I was able to go straight home from the saloon and fall right to sleep.

I get out of bed and do some morning stretches. Regardless of me going to the gym here and there, my muscles ache pretty bad. I look at my phone to see what time it is. It is about the only thing it's good for in this town.

"6 am?!" I shout.

I have never been up so early on my own. When I have to get up at this time, I usually have to set an alarm.

I reach into my bag to throw on the same set of overalls but a different shirt underneath. This time, it's a dark blue, plaid, long sleeve. I got to the bathroom and splash water on my face. I twist my hair into a loose braid once again, then head out to start working in the field. I make sure to grab the axe on my way out.

I start chopping away all the stray trees scattered in the field. Only the ones that will be in my way once I start planting seeds.

It wasn't long until I was interrupted by an unfamiliar, friendly voice, "Howdy, Mayor Lewis told me you arrived yesterday. I'm Marnie!"

When I turn around, I find a short, plump, older lady approaching me. Braids must be the style here because she is also rocking one.

"Hi Marnie! My name's Danny" I put down my axe to extend my hand out to her. She shakes it firmly.

"I sell livestock and animal care products at my ranch just down that path," Marnie turns to point, "You should swing by sometime. That is, once you get an area set up to put livestock. I'd also be happy if you happen to swing by just because, too."

I give her a friendly smile and nod my head, "Of course! I will try to stop by whenever I pass by."

Marnie returns the smile. "Anyways, If you ever need anything you know where I'm at! I'll let you get back to what you're doing. You seem to have a lot on your hands with this farm," She says as she begins her journey back down the path.

I go back to chopping the trees and clearing up more of the field to the best of my ability.

                                                  🌻 🌻 🌻

Unfortunately, chopping down the rest of the trees turned into a two day job. I didn't even leave the farm those two days. I got so wrapped up in clearing this place up. All I've been eating were the snacks I brought from home.

Those two days were short ones though because I kept going to bed pretty early. Removing the stumps of the trees was a pain. Chopping was the easy part.

However, today I decided I am going to Pierre's to get some groceries and since I finally have the place to my liking, I can get those seeds now. I never did end up doing them Monday.

When I pass by Harvey's clinic and look through the window. Seems pretty empty in there except for one guy with a fantastic mustache and glasses. I assume that'd be Harvey.

I stop to look at the bulletin board that's on Pierre's shop. I look at the calendar with everyone's birthdays on one side, and at the "Help Wanted" side. There doesn't seem to be anything posted there yet.

After continuing the rest of the way to the door of Pierre's store. I grab the handle and yank it. It doesn't open.

"Huh? That's weird. Maybe it's a push door?" I say to myself as I try pushing on the door. It doesn't budge.

I take a step back and scratch my head. I look at all the papers taped to the glass door and finally at the sign on the wall next to the door:

Monday: 9 am - 5 am

Tuesday: 9 am - 5 am

Closed on Wednesdays

Thursday: 9 am- 5 am

Friday: 9 am - 5 am

Saturday: 9 am- 5 am

Sunday: 9 am - 5 am

"Wait, what's today?" I look back at the calendar on the bulletin board.

"Of course it's Wednesday. When I actually need to get something it's closed."

Once, again I take a step back from the store and turn to look around at the town. I decide to go around the corner and up the stone steps. I turn left and I pass by the building Mayor Lewis told me was the Community Centre. I keep walking and find myself standing on one side of a water fountain. It's a pretty big one but I can just make out a playground located a few feet behind it.

I stand around the fountain and admire it for a bit. I stick my hand in the water and swish it around. Suddenly I find myself with both hands playing in the water. I get a little carried away until a familiar voice chimes in from the other side of the fountain

"What do you think you're doing?"

I quickly yank my hands back and out of the fountain. The person poked their head around the center of the fountain so I could see them. Out of everyone who could have caught me doing that it had to be Haley.

"I don't know... The water felt really nice on my hands. They've been pretty beat up the last few days," I hold my hands back out in front of me. I angled them downward so she could see how red and calloused they are. Not that she would care. I notice her face scrunch up in disgust. "I guess I just got carried away. What are you doing here?" I ask her.

"Not that it matters to you, but I tend to come here to think," she looks away from me and turns toward the town, "It's also a great spot to look over at the town and watch everyone go about their day."

Her expression seemed to softened as she looks towards the town.

"And what does a pretty girl like you have to think about?" I question her. I scoot a bit closer to where she is sitting on the edge of the fountain. She is definitely in a vulnerable mood so I decided to try and ease the tension between us.

From where I am sitting, it looked like her face went bright red. It could just be the lighting though. Or maybe I imagined it.

She quickly tucked her beautiful, blonde hair behind her ears and looked towards the other way. Within seconds, she looks back with a scowl and clears her throat to speak.

"It doesn't matter what I think about. I just think, okay?" She abruptly stands and hurriedly walks to the steps that go down the other side of the buildings. Near the path to get to my farm.

I nod my head and look down at my boot I guess I've been dragging around in the dirt the whole time. Suddenly, two little kids run past me with Penny lagging behind. The two kids stop dead in their tracks when they notice I am there.

"Oh, a stranger! My name's Vincent. Momma says not to talk to strangers," The boy in the striped t-shirt says, "but you seem okay."

"...Hi..." Whispers the girl in the purple dress with a cute bow on her head.

"That's Jas. She is a shy one. Until she gets to know you of course," Penny explains when she finally catches up to the kids. "We don't have a school here but I'm doing my best to give and a proper education. They are just super energetic today and won't sit still."

The kids start giggling and take off once again. Penny huffs and continues chasing after them.

I then decide it's about time to go back to the farm. The sun has begun to set, and it is starting to get dark. I notice time really flies in Pelican Town.

[tulpar-navguy]

₊ ⊹ ᶻz !! "Hey, Dess speaking." !! ␥

"Hellohowdyhi, people of the internet! Im Dess, or Desmond, whatever, and im the assigned Navigator for the Tulpar ship!!"

"Im just here to talk and have some fun, so yeah! Maybe i'll draw too-"

"A few of the other guys are here too, so say hi to them for me-!"

ADDITION INFO ABOUT DESMOND.

GENERAL

Age : Early 30s, claims that he is in his late 20s.

Ethnicity : Dutch-Indonesian

Sexuality : Greyromantic Demiromantic Asexual

Gender : Trans FtM

Full Name : Athena Desmond

Likes : Watching documentaries about fish/reading books about fish/eating fish/consuming media about fish, doodling around, keeping track of the stars he came across whilst on the Tulpar, music, sleep, cooking (he's ass at it though), video games!, hoarding trash like it's treasure

Dislikes : idk uh very loud n obnoxious people that constantly ignores his boundaries. Idk he just the guy that sorta likes everything man, oh uh yeah he hates jimmy. Well conflicted feelings ig?

PRE-CRASH

Extremely sociable, he's like a combination of Basil and Kel from Omori.

Constantly checks in to see the others' condition, and he helps out with Anya a lot.

Mostly hangs out in the lounge room, playing board games (competitively) when not in the cockpit tracking the ship's route and making sure it doesn't crash into any space debris n stuff.

Gives everyone a lot of gifts! Even Jimmy!

POST-CRASH

Gets a lot more anxious and more easily intimidated. Tries to "help" more by doing what he's ordered to do.

Helps Anya with Curly. When Jimbo and her is not up to the task, Dess will guve him some painkillers.

Avoids getting into fights/needless bickering. And when i mean avoid, he deadass runs into the medbay if things are heating up. Talks with Curly a bit.

Talks with Anya more than Pre-Crash. He's worried about her.

Dont leave him alone with his thoughts.

RELATIONSHIPS

Anya

Dess loves talking to her! Provides a big sister figure throughout the entire duration of the delivery haul, and he just loves spending his free time with her.

He rates Anya a solid 10/10.

Curly

One of his close friends! Curly's the reason why he got into Pony Express in the first place (working on Dess' backstory rn SHHH it'll make sense later). If not Talking to Anya, Dess is usually shown conversing with Curly. Whether it be about life back on Earth, or just casual banter.

Dess also used to have a tiny itty bitty crush on him but it doesn't matter now.

He rates Curly a 9/10.

Swansea

Intimidated by him at first, but Dess loves to hear what Swansea has to say when they talk together! Also he thinks Swansea being a sneakerhead is pretty silly. He's an uncle figure for Dess.

He rates Swansea a 9/10.

Daisuke

Oh, whoozers, what a riot! Dess loves Daisuke's optimism and shenanigans. Talking with the guy is always such a blast, there's no awkward moment between them. Dess also makes a lot of doodles with Daisuke on his free time.

He rates Daisuke a 9/10.

Jimmy

Jimmy, oh Jim... Due to Dess being a part of Curly's friend group back on earth, they're both are also friends, somewhat. Dess thinks he's kinda funny sometimes, but... jeez, he sure is intimidated!

He rates Jimmy a 8/10.

OTHER MAIN BACKGROUND STUFF

Dess, or Desmond is the Navigator Officer in the Tulpar Space Freighter. He mainly works inside the cockpit, steering the ship when Curly and Jimmy is busy (Which is kinda rare). He's about 32-35 years old, and he absolutely LOVES talking with the others! You can usually see him talking to the others, sometimes he's a bit anxious about interacting, though. Sometimes.

He didn't want to be a Navigator in the first place, obviously. He wanted to be a Marine Biologist, or at LEAST an Aquaculturist, but alas, the winds of fate has led him to work for Pony Express.

He's a part of Curly's friend group back on earth, and that obviously extends to being friends with Jimmy. Curly's another reason why he decided to work for Pony Express too-

Anyways! If you talk about him about fish, chances are he'll think you're pretty cool.

FUN FACTS

Dess is Anemic!

Dess has prescription glasses, but he hates wearing them; claims that it's too itchy on the nose.

Posture problems. Slouches a lot.

He has callouses and scars on his left hand, but his right hand is almost untouched. The contrast is crazy.

Wears a wristwatch 24/7.

Daisuke gave him that star thing on his breast pocket.

Indie video game professional- ask him about any indie game, he WILL respond.

Very big fan of Team Fortress 2, ULTRAKILL, UT/DR, Hollow Knight, Nine Sols, Rain World, and indie games.

Has a WII console, NEOGEO mini arcade, FAMICOM, SUPER FAMICOM, 3DS, DS, and gameboy back on Earth.

Dess is multilingual! (Can speak German, Indonesian, Malay, and English! He's trying to learn Russian and Spanish next).

His all time favorite pokemon is Lucario! Always has been, always will be. His favorite starter, on the other hand, is either Poppilo, or Snivy. His favorite eeveelution is Leafeon.

AGH SKABOODLE hello howdyhey huzzle there!! my name's mod schnozz, the mod of this very awesomesauce blog

This is a mouthwashing oc blog. !!

if u want to interact, GO AHEAD. you're an mouthwashing oc blog? GO AHEAD. you're js a normal mouthwashing rp blog? GO AHEAD. you're an oc that's completely unrelated to moutheashing? GO AHEAD!! YOWZERS

anyways, rules are,,, erm, dont be mean n rude!! yeah!! im fine with any type of asks n all but just keep in mind that im a minor.

slightly suggestiv n freakaleeky asks r fine i dont mind them theyre funny teehee

Say hi to other mouthwashing oc blogs...

-> @miyo-here - our trusty chef and mechanic!!

-> @ginger-n-redd - new Medical Intern and Pilot Intern!!

((send me an ask if u want to be tagged here!))

EXTRA STUFF

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Ambiguous/Undefined Relationship Masterlist

A Bad Case of the Jitters (ao3) - INeverHadMyInternetPhase (BirbWatcher)

Summary: Phil has night-before jitters with the release of tatinof coming tomorrow, but Dan is there to comfort him, as ever.

Appreciation Letters (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Two different chapters, showing each perspective.

Dan sits down to write about his life with the most amazing man he knows and how much he values all that he’s done for him.

Phil sits down to write about how thankful he is for the guy, who persistently commented on his early videos and the life they’ve built together.

banter™ (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: A normal conversation in the Phlat.

{ also }

Dan and Phil reply to a tweet asking if they're gay.

Counting stars (ao3) - xlogophile

Summary: Phil really likes Dan's sun-freckles, basically.

"Did you ever doubt your dreams will ever come true?" (ao3) - natigail

Summary: As Phil reads out the question, Dan’s involuntary reaction is to smile and glance towards him. He hides it pretty well during the live show but as soon as it’s over, he begins to fully appreciate that his dream did come true

Don't do it again (ao3) - winstonlives

Summary: Dan just reached 6 million subscribers. Causes a little irritation between the guy's, but not for the reason one might think.

Freckles and Constellations (ao3) - xlogophile

Summary: Phil wakes up to the tickling of what he assumes is a pen tracing shapes on his back. He was hoping to sleep in a bit more after a late night of gaming but art demands sacrifices, I guess.

Fuck Your Cereal (ao3) - cyanica

Summary: Four times Dan got justice for his cereal, and one time where Phil won their prank war using a person's certain first video... that's still on the internet for some reason.

I Will See (ao3) - hahasami

Summary: They're best friends, but nobody knows, not the drama elective he started a year later, and not really himself.

...until he lets it happen.

(it being that weird warmth in his chest)

in another universe (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: This was it. Phil wasn’t sure what it was, but he felt that it was now or never. He lifted his gaze and focused on Dan, the intensity with with which he did seemingly disturbing his flatmate. Dan eyed him dubiously, and before the other could open his mouth, Phil was blurting, “Let’s fuse.”

Dan blinked, then blinked again, looking as if he were about to say something before thinking better of it and simply staring with knitted brows. “You’re serious?” he finally asked apparently upon noting the lack of mirth on Phil’s face.

“Yeah,” Phil replied firmly, though he wrung his hands nervously in his lap.

intermediately versed in your own feelings (ao3) - templeofshame

Summary: They’re down to ten days and Phil just wants to be excited. He wants to tweet 10 days!!! or 9 soon =] and ramble at Dan on Skype and go to sleep eager for time to get on with it. He doesn’t want to be staring at Dan’s Twitter, scrolling up and down through Tweets and replies, trying to decode them in a way that doesn’t make anything in his gut sink.

Just Take A Shower (ao3) - phandoe

Summary: Dan is depressed. Phil loves him.

Morning Routine (more or less) (ao3) - MagicAndConstellations

Summary: Phil steals Dan’s cereal, Dan retaliates, the tags speak for themselves

of all new things, you were my favourite (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan is a curious non-binary alien who doesn’t understand human culture but really likes to wear pastel pink skirts. And aliens, Phil learns, are a lot to handle – or maybe that’s just Dan.

On Tour Bus Beds (ao3) - katiecal1013

Summary: “Best buddies can share a bed!” - Phil Lester, 2024

Right Where You're Meant to Be (ao3) - fisshhhh

Summary: Dan just got back from being on tour for 2 and a half months.

Ten Things (ao3) - thatsmistertoyou

Summary: Ten things Dan and Phil know about each other, and one thing they don't.

[memberment]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE

So the Trinitarians brain worm is back and Morning Glory is now longer and biting the dust as far as my focus goes.

But like, I genuinely want to talk to anyone who's invested in what's to come as far as part two goes. SO PLEASE. I IMPLORE THE FOUR OF YOU WHO PERPETUALLY TAKE NOTICE OF MY SCREAMS INTO THE VOID.

We're all aware that Trin is a time loop fic. That is confirmed.

BUT THE PROBLEM IS HOW I'M GOING ABOUT DOING THAT. AND I NEED INPUT FROM PEOPLE THAT ARE NOT ME AS FAR AS PLEASES AND SPARKLES GO, YES?

Because like sure I'm writing it and like fuck everything else, let me tell my story. But it's the how of it all like if I'm gonna throw another 200 give or take hours into this I would at least like one person to be having a wonderful time drinking and driving (I have since remembered this is not a common phrase, I do not mean this in a literal sense, it's an expression) with me right?

Part two is going to be 50 chapters, give or take. (Part one is about 37 for reference.)

So the plan for part 2 rn is (ROGUHLY):

(1-10) is the second timeline. There are a lot of importants and I cannot just glaze over it all more than that. But we're also working in a bit of a shorter time period than the original events of the story and introductions do not need to happen again, right?

(11-40)ish would be me running through the next timelines in a set up structure -> what changes -> the results of said changes and then inevitably what sends our looper backwards. It wouldn't be running through all the timelines but the more notable ones in kind of a four chapter structure, I am not fully sold on four, but rough estimate yk.

And then 41-50 would be the finale of part two. It's literally the last timeline in its glory and then the epilogue which kicks off part three.

COULD AT LEAST ONE OF Y'ALL SIT THROUGH THAT OR DO YOU GUYS HAVE ANY NOTES AT ALL BECAUSE LIKE

I personally kinda like it but if not a soul is reading this I am throwing myself on the curb with the rest of the garbage LMFAOOO.

I NEED THOUGHTS. OPINIONS. COMMENTS. CONCERNS. ANYTHING.

Anyways, I'm going to work. I have off tomorrow and I broke the ff investment seal for today so insanity and updates will be here tonight and homework will be tomorrow.

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GOOD DAY <3

(9:30) I am literally falling asleep as I lazily write this angel based on Danse Macabre. Expect all of maybe one more update tonight if the tacos I am abt to receive don't wake me up LMFAO.

Also, I am almost saddened by not having something to post tm. Anyone want an early chapter of something that isn't Genesis/Desolation bc they're both on Monday?????? (I am feeling like a menace rn)

(10:19) tacos and the absolute yap session I just had did wake me up a bit. MAAAYBE might write some more. Idk I slept like three hours last night and went to work I'm kinda dead. But we're at 98.2k!!!!!!🥳

(11:06) okay we made it to 99.6k everything besides the flashback for 31 is done. I'm about to relax and watch something and figure out mechanics of some of this because god this series is A BEAST. Like, I still have six planned chapters left.

Pure insanity. I love it here. I hate it here.

Holy shit wait I just came to the realization that I started this fic exactly one month ago. I have belted out 99.6k for THIS FIC ALONE. (Moreso if we're including future shit that hasn't happened yet)

IN ONE MONTH.

THAT IS FUCKING CRAZY WHAT HTE FUCK LMFAOOOO

I may or may not be cooking we’ll find out in 6-26 business hours

(5:28) So I just had a very interesting past few business hours. I read a fic I've been waiting ever so patiently to finish. That's cool, right. I go for a walk at 4 in the morning because I'm insane. Fantastic. I get home at five and I'm like ohhhh well what do I do now it's not sleep time yet. Oh write I'm supposed to be drawing.

Nope I reread the epilogue of morning glory and realized Tweek's first address is for my morning glory and Craig's last sign off is your morning glory and now I'm ready to throw myself on the curb with the garbage as I sob. Someone call a trusted adult for me thanks.

[veeples]

writer interview

thanks for tagging me @narrativefoiltrope! <3 ik i don't really answer these ask/tag games v much anymore but i appreciate being tagged!

tagging: @lilas @bceky (teehee! i think it'd be fun if you answered on your game dev blog) and whoever wants to answer!

when did you start writing?

I definitely have clear memories of writing stories as early as 5th grade, so when I was like, 9-10 years old on an old Windows computer. And not too long after that, I started writing fanfiction for Inuyasha since I was obsessed as a kid.

I don't know if this counts, but in my professional job, I've been editing and sometimes writing policies for my lab for maybe four years now, but that's more technical writing than creative.

are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I end up reading a lot of what friends recommend to me, but what I read the most are sci-fi, speculative fiction, memoirs, and horror/thriller/mysteries! I'm open to quite a bit tbh and have more fun talking about shared reads than reading itself.

is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

LMAO nah, I haven't published fanfic in 2 years at this point so there's really no reason to compare me to anything at all. Professional I follow a template my co-worker made since I find the break down to be helpful for ease of use. I like authors who are really, really good with economy of language and pack a lot of punch with less words but I can't think of a good example right now.

can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

It's either my phone at 11 pm when I should be sleeping or my dinky lil Target desk! I use two screens at work so I can compare other policies or bring up websites for product information though, so that feels kinda fancy.

what’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

A lot like Erin I get inspired just chatting about OC head canons! Making up scenarios, usually in a jokey way, and wanting to explore it a little bit more in a drabble since I don't really do longform writing at all.

what’s your reason for writing?

For work it's just an extra project for me to have and do when I have free time, and I'm generally OK with it. It looks good on my yearly eval. Otherwise I just write as a hobby! Most of my writing I don't even share with other people </3. It's fun for me to do, I like my lil dolls and smacking them together. Art is harder and harder for me to do these days, so sometimes it's easier to just write a lil something when the need to create hits me.

is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

If I do share my writing w/ friends a good keysmash or emoji reaction makes my day! <3 Or I love when people point out particular lines they really enjoyed.

how do you want to be thought about by your readers?

For my work, I just want the policies to be comprehensible, easy to navigate, and a useful source of information. I write them with the intent that if I were to come into the lab as a new person, I could refer to the technical documents and know how to perform that particular bench work.

Otherwise: my readers are just my friends, if they're having fun than I am too! And if you hated it don't tell me :(

what do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Professionally I think I'm good at really getting down the nitty gritty details of how something is done. I know how I'd want it to read as someone who needs carefully detailed instructions, so I write for myself and I think it comes off as clear.

Creatively, I really don't know! I don't think I'm good at writing. Maybe my greatest strength is that I also don't give a fuck if I'm good or not??? If I'm not confident about it I'm just not sharing it lmao.

how do you feel about your own writing?

It's a creative outlet! I like getting to be indulgent, and I'm not as critical with my writing as I am with my art. :) I can be as experimental or serious as I want! But I also desperately want to delete old TWC fics/microfics that I posted on my main blog because I feel intense cringe at them at this point and don't want them to be seen anymore.

[active-mind-15]

As I am lying down on the verge of falling asleep I have decided to post some Akashi sleep headcanons

Now, I have seen many people speculate what Akashi looks like when he sleeps/wakes up or what his sleep habits are, so I thought I'd get a quick one out of the way before going to bed. Let's go!

Even though he's very prim and proper because of his upbringing, I don't think that reflect in how he sleeps.

Not to say he's a messy sleeper per se, but he's definitely not a scarily neat sleeper where he lies still on his back firmly tucked in and doesn't move.

He seems like a side-sleeper who curls in on himself, kinda like a cat. He's normally not vulnerable when he's awake, but when he's asleep, vulnerable is the only word I can imagine when I think about how he looks. There's a particular innocence to his sleeping form. He only sleeps when his guard is down, and he doesn't have to worry about what he looks like.

Very few people have seen him sleep. I know Kuroko is canonically one of them because in that trip to Hawaii from the Replace Plus novels, Kuroko shared a hotel room with him, but I'm wondering who else might have seen him sleep aside from maybe Mibuchi and Nijimura. God knows.

Something that the fandom can agree on is that Akashi's bedhead is probably terrible, though. Especially since he and Kuroko have such similar hairstyles, it wouldn't surprise me that their hair gets messed up in the same way while sleeping. He usually takes care of it before he actually leaves his room (again, he likes maintaining an image in front of others), so just like very few people have seen him sleep, very few have seen his bedhead. Those who have seen it found it so cute.

I wouldn't peg him as a sleep talker, but I don't think he'd be entirely quiet either. If he's having a dream, I'd like to think he'd make little noises, but nothing super loud. In fact, they're so quiet that you almost might not catch it if you happen to be awake.

He doesn't move around a lot either when he sleeps, but he doesn't stay in the same position throughout the night. He only gets really fidgety if he has nightmares.

Speaking of that, I think that since Akashi is so busy, is frequently stressed, and is probably always exhausted, there will be random periods where he'll get frequent nightmares and sometimes sleep paralysis. During those times, he'll be more irritable during the day due to lack of sleep. (Can you tell I'm projecting with my own personal experiences in high school?)

He's tried to find ways to combat this over the years. Tea helps, music helps, and post-Winter Cup, being open with his friends about what's troubling him helps. Through doing all these things, he's able to sleep better and for longer.

(^^Secret 4th remedy, touch helps. The only person who knows this is Mibuchi because when they travel for games and share a hotel room, he's usually with Akashi. Post-Winter Cup, there were nights when Mibuchi heard Akashi make these sad little noises in his sleep, and Mibuchi felt so bad just sitting there and listening without doing anything, so he kinda just walked over to Akashi's bed and softly stroked his hair, just to see if that would do anything?? And it did! Gradually, Akashi quieted down and stopped fidgeting. And Mibuchi went back to sleep. But he told Akashi nothing about those events that transpired.)

And even though he's an early-riser, it's not by choice. He just has so much to do during the day that he can't help but wake up at like 6 or 7am. But if he has nothing to do the next day, he'd rather sleep in til 9 or 10am.

He's also a slow starter. That's why he gives himself so much time in the morning to wake up. It normally takes him a veeeery hot minute to get out of bed because he's constantly having to play catch-up with sleep since he's always busy.

I would bet he's a blanket hogger. He seems like the type to get cold easily, so when it's time for him to sleep, he just switches to Maximum Coze Mode™ and snuggles under the blankets. On a cold day, it's especially hard to get him out of the blankets.

Lastly, if he ever gets tired and falls asleep in school or something like in the gymnasium, he'll have his arms crossed while he nods off. Since it's so rare that Akashi sleeps, though, Kise tells everyone not to bother him. Eventually, it's Nijimura who discovers him and covers Akashi with his jacket.

[songmingisthighs]

Ignominy

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

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ch. lxviii - hearing

hybrid!san × human!reader

buy me coffee ?

everyone wants to belong, it's basic human need to connect with people around them. what happens when you're responsible for someone who belongs to two worlds but at the same time belongs to neither ? worst part is, what happens when it's your ex ?

Seconds felt like hours, minutes felt like days, and hours felt like weeks.

You sat in front of your laptop with so much anxiety and uncertainty. It had probably been only a couple hours but it fely like forever and it didn't felt good at all. It didn't help that you couldn't sleep much the other day not just because of the damn email looming in your mind but also because of your stupid ankle that decided it wanted to have a big fucking rave with all the pulsing and the heat that caused the area to twitch. So you were anxiety riddled and in pain and to be quite honest, a lot pissed that neither San nor your work friends were answering your text. You wanted to ask about what happened the other day and also if any one of them knew what the email was about but of course you didn't get any answer. It was like being kept in the dark about something major that was affecting everything and everyone.

The email was so sudden and you were worried if it had anything to do with what was happening at High Breed. Who would've guessed that the day you took a day off from dealing with your ankle, some major shit happened to the office and then you suddenly got a hearing from HR. All you could do at that moment was simply to convince yourself that you would be okay and that it was just protocol. Nothing big, nothing to worry about.

As soon as the clock chimed 9, you saw that the Head of HR and the General Manager got into the meeting room with their camera on and San in attendance with his camera off. Your heart beats harshly against your chest in worry, noticing how the meeting was attended by high ranking staffs so there was a chance that the issue at hand that somehow involved you was an absolute big one. But despite your gut screaming that something was wrong, you sucked the anxiety in and just think positive thoughts. Maybe they wanted to tell you that you passed your probation early and the reason it involved high ranking officials are because you worked directly with the CEO's son so they took things seriously.

Here's to wishful thinking.

"Good morning, everybody," you greeted, smiling brightly to mask the nerves bubbling in the pit of your stomach. Unfortunately your greeting was met with silence, not even a single sound of acknowledgement. Chills ran down your spine from dread and embarrassment, the situation just became much much worse just from that exchange and your confidence almost slipped completely away. Luckily, the Head of HR spoke up but in a very uninterested tone, "Good morning ladies and gentlemen, we will begin our disciplinary hearing momentarily," the words she said made your eyebrows furrow in utter confusion, "Excuse me, disciplinary hearing for what exactly?" You cut her off which was completely ignored as she kept rambling on about who was present in the meeting. Next to speak was the General Manager who cleared his throat and tipped his glasses down slightly, "If you had been more patient, miss, we would've explained that we conducted this meeting to inform you that as of today, you are put on a temporary unpaid administrative leave until the issue you have caused be resolved."

If your eyebrows were furrowed before, now they're knitted so tight a sweater had formed. "Whoah, I don't understand, what issue did I cause??" You asked, obviously not knowing what they were talking about. "Okay, we'll bite," the General Manager said which you took notice of and didn't feel great about because the mannerism indicated that they didn't believe you about something. "It has come to our attention that you have been sharing personal information about Mr. Choi San to the media which is a complete breach of your contract as Mr. Choi San's personal assistant," he said. You waved your hands in front of the camera to stop the guy from talking more because the confusion wasn't resolved, it doubled. "Okay, I really don't know what you're talking about because I've never talked to the media before, I never shared my boss's personal information, not even with my friends," after the words left your mouth, you realized how flimsy of an excuse that was and those people could've easily misunderstood you as making up excuses or just simply disregard you. Then again, they could take your explanation masked as a flimsy excuse as suspicious behaviour despite you only telling the truth.

"As crude as it sounds, we do not care about what you talk about with your friends outside the office but this particular action has affected the company negatively especially since it affected Mr. Choi San," then the Head of HR clicked on something from her screen and presented some pictures, "Now, miss, do you recognize these?" Your eyes barely scanned through the file but you immediately took notice of it. "It's my company database account," you answered, still not understanding what their point was. "What about this?" She then showed the next picture and you saw your account information at the top and a bunch of numbers and letters listed under it and next to them are other numbers that look like specific dates. "My account and random numbers? I'm not sure," by now you have a bit of an attitude and it's mostly because of the fact that you had just been accused of something and you didn't appreciate it.

With a raise of his eyebrows, the General Manager leaned forward in his seat and sighed, "This, Miss (y/l/n), is proof that your account has been accessing important data and files from the company database that detailed Mr. Choi's private information including his medical report which if it turns out to be true, is a direct violation of the privacy law and you can be penalized," he stated firmly. "Wait," you tried to interject, wanting a moment to take the revelation in and made sense of the situation. Unfortunately, the General Manager kept going on about what you supposedly did and which files you accessed. Words thrown at you floated in your brain and none of them stuck, you couldn't process the explanation as your brain was trying to remember when and why you opened those files. Sure, some of the files that were on the list you actually accessed yourself but you remembered that it was under the direction of other superior officers. Files like San's most recent medical record that San himself requested to be sent to his family physician, or files like the company's pharmaceutical records that include sales, testing, production dates and locations, issue report, etc. that was sent to you by the lab supervisor for you to compile so San won't have a hard time looking them over. But other things like employee attendance, employee login timestamps and information, company finance report, patents, MFDS clearance, legal reports, and much more files that were under the record list, you couldn't remember ever accessing nor do you even know how and where to access them. Despite the defence bubbling in your head, your were frozen, you couldn't say the words you wanted to say because at that moment, you were being bombarded by two people while San was watching.

Why wasn't he saying anything?

"...That being said and with the evidence stacked against you, the company has decided, as we said earlier, to put you in unpaid administrative leave until the issue is resolved," the Head of HR said. As it seemed like they were about to conclude the meeting, your body reacted as quickly as it could and you called out to them. "Hey, wait!" thankfully, it seemed like it managed to catch their attention momentarily, "Don't I get to defend myself first? This is a lot to take in and you can't just make a decision for yourselves," it was hard for you to keep your voice stable because all you want to do was scream at them for accusing you of doing something so ridiculous but you knew full well that if you let your emotions get the best of you, they wouldn't take you seriously. The General Manager sighed before answering you, "Yes, in a less dire situation, we would've let you defend yourself, but as this issue has become public and seemingly uncontrollable, we have to take immediate action to prevent further issues from arising." To make matters worse, the Head of HR just HAD to comment in her faux low voice that you were pretty sure she wanted you to hear. "You should have thought of that before doing something so reckless," and before you could've said something, she called out to San, "Is there anything you wish to add, Mr. Choi?"

Almost embarrassingly quickly, your eyes flit to San's account and you saw him opening his mic. Seconds pass awfully slow as you waited, hoping for him to defend you, telling both people who seemingly had it against you that the company shouldn't be rash, that they should take a moment to assess the situation better before putting you on leave and treating you like a criminal. You believed that he would come to your aid because he knew you wouldn't have done that to him. After all, you have been covering for his ass and you have done nothing but a good job in the office as his assistant. Not to mention the fact that you let him fuck you whenever he wants which shouldn't be the main reason but it kinda felt like it should. So why would he assume that you even wanted to hurt him?

But all hopes you had were lost when your screen suddenly returned to your browser, showing that the meeting has ended without any more addition. Without San saying anything to defend you.

"He... Ended the meeting..." you muttered to yourself in disbelief. He didn't even say anything, he didn't even have the decency to say something to you, something comforting or just something that acknowledge the fact that you were in that situation and it was such a shit situation. He just dismissed you like that.

Your chest tightened and your hands shook. Emotions mix together, emotions you can't even discern, and emotions you've never felt before.

Standing up from your desk, the first thing you thought of was to get a glass of water to calm yourself down. Your injured ankle forced you to limp to the kitchen and you suddenly chuckle to yourself, thinking about how ridiculous your luck was for giving you an injury and putting you in such a difficult and absurd situation. You try to make sense of things but at the same time you didn't want to think about it just yet, you didn't want to have to deal with the issue as quickly but how could you not when it affects you greatly? Does this mean you can't go to work for the foreseeable future? Does this mean you're replaced? You accepted the job in the first place because you wanted something to do and now you were being denied of your own decision. With this happening, do you want to stay? Can you stay? You're willing to be everyone else knows about this issue so it's safe to assume that even if you did come back to work, say you were proven not guilty which was the truth in the first place, you will be a pariah. Those who knew about the details and believed that you were the kind of human being who would do such a thing would not treat you nicely. And apparently, one of those people is the boss who you've been fucking. Working for him would be different after this issue no matter the truth. It was too much for you to handle alone and you didn't want to have to handle it alone. But what could you have done? Contact your friends just because you're in a shit position? Is that how you want to treat your friends?

The water you poured for yourself felt heavy like lead down your throat and your body couldn't help but want to expel it. You coughed and coughed the liquid out and while doing so, you accidentally knocked your glass over and it shattered. In between fits of coughs and blurry vision, you saw the mess you just made and suddenly the pain in your chest doubled.

What are you going to do now?

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