#also i guess i should tag this for

[clara-maybe-ontheroad]

Weird media guilt cycle : Why I stopped watching, reading and writing about OF

So I used to be pretty active on here about a certain show (ahem ahem) while it was airing, but I started falling behind on new episodes airing and I started feeling ... Guilty ?

Like, my reasons for taking a break were real but not that deep :

despite being really fun to watch, it brought back memories of a pretty chaotic time in my life and made it tricky for me to handle some of my emotions regarding basically all the characters

I was just visiting my partner in Canada and wasn't prioritising watching this show.

But nevertheless, I fell an episode behind, which was normal. Then two. And then three. And at this point there was so many meta posts to engage with, so many things I was tagged in, so much I wanted to read, I didn't know where to start, and I didn't want to get spoiled. And I felt weirdly guilty for not being able to engage, maybe because this was my first time being involved in any kind of Tumblr community.

I felt bad not to reply and contribute to the discourse around the show ; I wanted to avoid spoilers and was so behind so I couldn't read anything and could barely go on Tumblr for a bit, because it was also reminding me I was Behind™. See how other feelings about my life were starting to get into it.

I felt like by the time I would come around to watch, everything meaningful would have been said, and like I had to be the first to comment on something for it to be valuable, and like I was not as dedicated as everyone else. Like I wasn't being productive enough, original enough... About watching one damn show.

I loved watching it ! And watching it with a community, analysing it with everyone, reading all the great posts, was so fun ! But suddenly it caused me dread.

Because coincidentally, many other things in my life that I liked stopped being fun around the same time. Other life stuff made me sink. And this show kinda became emblematic of the pause it felt like my life was taking, of me not being able to follow through, of me feeling directionless. Of me feeling like I had to focus on productive things to be worth of existing, like I was existing in an in between where I wasn't accomplishing enough. And I couldn't watch shows at all for the most part, much less shows about characters feeling lost in their lives.

Ridiculous? Yes. Very real for anxiety-ridden me? Also yes.

I was talking with my therapist the other day though, and we noted that I'm lacking creative outlets since my little depression-y phase a month ago. And that in a way, reading and writing meta about that show was filling a need for creative stuff in my life, since I no longer do YouTube/Tiktok like I also used to.

So ! After a month of being harsh with myself, I'm trying to reintroduce little joys, little moments of creation. And it's silly that writing meta about a show might be part of that, but I guess it was a form of self expression, and in my current phase I need any alley of self expression I can get.

All of this to say... I'm going to start watching that show again !

I'm going to catch up on all the amazing posts people have written about it. I'm going to write silly or serious posts about it. I'm going to try and have fun with it.

Is there any big lesson ? Probably not, or only that we truly have interesting relationships with pieces of media and online communities way beyond what they're actually about.

Also please tell me, has anyone else done this ? I feel very weird.

Anyway if I suddenly start live shitposting you know why !

[bacchuschucklefuck]

couldnt draw my thang for mid-autumn so treated myself to a calne redesign instead

[sillysolita]

[weaselmcdiesel]

Do You Love The Color Of The 413?

[hinamie]

corvidae

[ilikerosesalot]

* Despite everything....it's still you

Few days late (work....it never ends..) but happy birthday in stars and time!! I finished the game right in time for the anniversary so I had to dedicate my first fanart to it. I remember when I first booted up the game I made a video of me watching the opening scene and I added the Undertale track "Memory" to it. I didn't even know it was an inspiration for the game the music just felt...fitting. Then siffrin responded to the friendship doodle by going "it's you!". The idea just sprung. That statement just kept spinning in my head the entire time I played the game. So it's only fitting that an indie game that changed the trajectory of my life completely just like that Undertale to get this sort of fanart yk?

Textless versions and some more ramblings provided under the cut!!

Kinda proud of how loop-frin and bigfrin turned out...and the expression of mal du pays and "say its name" siffrin too (may or may not like drawing terrified expressions- new discovery!). I wanted to add more (if I upload the timelasp you can see there were some other sif sketches that never got lined) and i wanted to include the fam in act6 picture but....time. Oh well, I just needed to express my love for this game *somehow*. Siffrin and everyone else mean the world to me and just....honestly not enough words. Just, thank you @insertdisc5 for creating this wonderful game. I wish you and everyone else good luck on whatever lies ahead on our journey <3

EDIT: Timelasp uploaded!!

[ankles-be-bitten]

idk, i just feel like if your primary argument against transandrophobia/antitransmasculinity theory is that you think it's transmisogynistic you're not being intellectually honest. who does it hurt when trans men and mascs coin a term to describe the intersection of transphobia and sexism as it most frequently affects them? because it does hurt trans men when they're told that they're not entitled to speak on the discrimination they themselves face.

what I'm hearing from people who oppose the antitransmasculinity movement is that transmisogyny is when trans men talk about their problems 👍, but obviously that's not true. i know that's not true. you know that's not true. so then what is the issue? genuinely, enlighten me. you want trans men to shut up and listen? I'm listening.

[lucabyte]

i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.

i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.

anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.

[why-the-heck-not]

me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))

[sea-webs]

"I don't know who I want to be, anymore."

Oc - Cirque | The Dragon Chosen by the Shadows |

| mary oliver / franz wright / chelsea dingman / mary oliver / sue zhao / can't find :( / can't find :( / i am a dog. i have blood all over my teeth. - sciencedfiction / little weirds - jenny slate / the unabridged journals of sylvia |

[dodecatemoria]

feeling very normal about them (<- lying)

[technically-human]

Hi i'm absolutely in love with the reverse au!!

I want to know, in this verse does edwin still confesses to charles? if so how is it different? i feel if he did he would end it by apologizing, you know, religious guilt and all

There’s a train that goes through Hell.

Its journey starts in Wrath, and it departs already full of souls. It took Charles far too many years to realize that there were separate, more spacious wagons that demons could board. Not that he could understand why anyone, hellborn or not, would want to get into the damned thing. He certainly hadn’t.

Actually, Charles couldn’t recall ever boarding the train. As far as he could tell, he just appeared there one day, and had spent the next tortuous decades trying to get out. It was part of the torture. Getting out was entirely possible. More than that, it was necessary.

The train had no regular schedule that he could discern (not at first, though he had always been good at finding patterns, and was eventually able to crack it) but it would make quite a few stops before finally returning to the Wrath ring. Souls inside the train were already angry and far too close to each other (close, so close not even air could squeeze in) but when they got really violent was when the train made a stop.

Getting out didn’t mean you were free, no matter where you managed it, be it Sloth or Gluttony, Pride or Lust. No, as soon as the train finished its journey, you would appear back inside, in Wrath where you belonged, suffocating once again, getting ready to claw your way out for the millionth time.

Because if you didn’t get out, The Conductor would get you.

If he thought about it calmly, Charles could probably say that he got out of the train more times than not. Still, being caught by The Conductor once was bad enough, as there was no coal in Hell, and something had to serve as combustible. Souls could not burn to death, and the whole journey always felt longer than eternity when he was caught. Once it was over, he would be inside again, and fight with more desperation than before, not caring who stayed inside so long as it wasn’t him.

He couldn’t understand why anyone, hellborn or not, would want to get into the damned thing. He certainly hadn’t. But as the souls pushed and bit and clawed and punched their way out, Edwin boarded the train. And that wasn’t even the most groundbreaking revelation Charles had that day.

ko-fi

[aterfish]

Another "Guess that Artist" game in Haunting Heroes discord server. This time drawing fanarts for fics with less than 10k hits on ao3.

I chose amazing IRIS Log #1548 by @deadchannelradio!

Love this fic. "As buddies" got me. Hilarious and absolutely worth reading and then rereading twice. Or trice.

@arzuera thanks or hosting the game! @serxeri thanks for tormenting me! i won tho.

[prince-aegon-targaryen]

[arlo192]

i could not live in griffin rock there's just too much going on. idk how cody survived. he needed a nap episode

[cj-the-random-artist]

Let us dance into the night as the fire rages on....

Gonna add a greyscale version, the sketch this was based on under the cut, but all I really have to say about this is that this is the first time in a long time. Maybe even years. That I've sketched up a simple doodle and had it grab me by the soul and rip and illustration out of me. This is also the first illustration in a long time where I enjoyed the whole process. I also tried different techniques and stuff here and I'm in love with how this turned out actually

But yeah greyscale version and sketch this was based on under the cut

I was gonna add some rambles down here about the way I think about Narinder and the Lamb's dynamic and the stuff going on in the background and other things but after spending like an hour and a half writing and rewriting this caption. Uh. Nevermind lol

Enjoy the chaos that is this drawing and, if you're reading this, may something good happen for you today