#also goffic

[southerngoffics]

Frankie Stein in my style bc i have Very Strong opinions about them with a mullet

[lady-hibiscus]

why did satan make me so pretty? (2024)

ebony dark'ness dementia raven way in all her glory

[thecoffeelorian]

I'm At Soup! (TBB Edition)

Title: I'm At Soup!

Fandom: Star Wars/The Bad Batch

Characters Involved: Crosshair, Batcher, Hunter, and Wrecker

WC: 486/Under 1k.

A/N: This is the one-shot to celebrate me reaching 300 followers on Tumblr! Thank you all for getting me here, and let me also tag the following people specifically:

No Pressure Tags:

@oraleandreu @gun-roswell @harmless--dreamer @built-on-hope-1977 @orangez3st

@hellhoundmaggie @lulalovez @momojedi @lazyprofessorpursesalad @still-nix-d-goffic

@archivewriter1ont @cloneflo99 @tink1221 @leapingbadger and anybody else who would like something funny to read. :D

Don't call unless it's an emergency, Hunter had requested, wanting nothing less than near perfect silence during his latest shopping trip. Under normal circumstances, Crosshair would have done just that, as he already had first-hand experience with being overwhelmed and also wasn't all that eager to force others to go through the same thing.

However...no thanks to Batcher having run off ten minutes ago, her confusion as to whether or not the moon-yos of Pabu were living animals or squeaky toys, it was unfortunately time to call in the reinforcements.

Specifically, calling up Hunter himself over the commlink, all the while he himself stood at attention by the dining room table.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Cross, what's up?"

"I need your help, can you come here?"

"Uh, I can't, I'm buying clothes."

"Alright, well..."

Letting out a small sigh, Crosshair just shrugged and continued with the call. Best not to overthink the situation, after all...yet.

"...Hurry up and come over here."

"I can't find them."

What.

"What do you mean, you can't find them?"

"I can't find them, there's only soup."

A small crackle of static popped over the system, then an awkward silence followed...and curiously enough, no 'Gotcha' or other hints that this was just one big joke from Hunter.

"What do you mean, 'there's only soup'?"

"It means there's only soup!"

"Well then, get out of the soup aisle!"

"All right! You don't have to shout at me!"

Next came the sound of footsteps as Hunter continued down a different aisle, a small huff of annoyance, and then--

"--There's more soup."

"What do you mean there's more soup?"

"There's just more soup!"

Two aisles of soup now...? This was getting out of hand, and no, that wasn't a round of self-deprecating humor.

It. Was. Madness.

"Go into the next aisle!"

"There's still soup!"

"Where are you right now?!"

"I'm at soup!"

At Soup?! How could any Trooper in the known galaxy, be it far far away or a few klicks ahead, suddenly be 'At Soup'?!

"What do you mean you're "at soup?"

"I mean I'm at soup!"

"What store are you in?!"

"I'm at the soup store!"

"Why are you buying clothes at the soup store?"

"Kriff you!"

Both Troopers turned off their ends of the commlink with a loud slap, each of them so frustrated with the other that they most likely would not be on speaking terms for the next hour.

Back on Crosshair's end, he would merely shake his head in disgust before going off in search of the dog treats, if only to give Batcher a reason to come running the moment he jostled the bag loudly enough.

On Hunter's end, however...he would be comforted with one of Wrecker's hands upon his shoulder, along with the following vote of confidence:

"I think we're gonna have to stun this guy, Sarge."

"Dank Ferrik," Hunter sighed in return. Today just wasn't his day.

[ibbity]

Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way Sim is here to say hello from Pleasantview Downtown

As you can see she's very goffic

Her lifetime wish is to reach the top of the Music career and become a rock god. Here she is playing her yard drums

Two views of her house and yard

Her downstairs has an open floor plan

Up the stairs, you will find her computer/coffin room (she's not actually a vampire, but her bff Contessa Sophie Straight is), her bathroom, and her bedroom. She autonomously washes the dishes every time but never ever makes her bed lmao

Playing guitar in the computer 'n' coffin room

Clearly something shocking in that Mechanical book

Ebony invited Contessa Sophie over to hang out

Sophie was really feelin' it

Ebony also invited her new buddy (my OC sim) Alyanore Gravedigger over. Alyanore brought Don Lothario along lmao

When leaving in the morning, Sophie decided to make her move (this happened autonomously, I did not direct this to happen) and now they are in love

Tagging @corruptuslocus since she wanted to see Enoby

[tinx-methinks]

4 Character Poll Tag Game

Choose 4 of your favourite characters from 4 pieces of media as poll options and let your tumblr pals decide which one most suits your vibe, then tag 4 people.

Tagged by the wonderful @thatscarletflycatcher . Thank you~! I'm insane so I added an extra criteria for myself. I'm sure you can figure it out lol. I also included pics below (which wasn't required).

And no pressure on the tags but I'll send it to @maiaofmischief @mxmoons @still-nix-d-goffic and @snarktocrab

but this is a neat one so if you see it from me and still want to do it go ahead and say I tagged you (and I'll def vote on your poll!).

[myrammmortal]

This is it, chapter 11. The last one. Don't cry, it will be okay. Somewhere, but not here.

“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! Frau Schneider tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Till chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! Anyway, makeover time! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Flake was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

“Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at Flake and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Flake and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Till ran in. “Paul Darkness Edgelord Troglodyte Shadow Dementia Raven Way Alzheimer Birdflu Croissant Boy Landers, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Flake and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

“What do you know, Hargrid? You’re just a little Hogwarts student!”

“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“This cannot be.” Flake said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Tills wand had shot him. “There must be other factors.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

“Why are you doing this?” Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

“Because you’re goffic?” Flake asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

“Because I LOVE HER!”

We heard a car door close and Olli came walking towards us. The wellness retreat had clearly done him some good. "Hi guys, I'm back. Did I miss anything?"

Well, this was that entire nightmare. I hope the sweet people from Rammtisch that requested this are happy. If you have any questions, I don't blame you. I have many as well. And not a single answer. But if you do have questions I will try to answer anyway. Person who originally wrote My Immortal: I hope you are okay, wherever you are. Your story may be the worst story ever written but I hope that didn't stop you from writing anyway and improving on your skills. I hope you are living a happy life and I hope that you can look back on your story and laugh at the joy and tears it continues to give people after all these years.

Yes, Paul's name has been changing and has been getting weirder by request. Why? Because I can!

[heliopauseentertainments]

If you’re taking requests plz write a short fic in the style of ‘My Immortal’, but robots. Please include their oddly specific slutty goffic paint jobs. Plz make Rodimus Cron the main character K THXXX

I can't believe you made me go look at the text of My Immortal.

Only notes are: swearing and lightly implied MegaRod. Only the first bit is reminiscent of the original text. The rest is below the cut. It is entirely SFW.

---

Hi my name is Rodimus Cron and I have long black and purple armor (that’s how I got my name) with evil flames and purple decals that cover my entire chest and  bromine red optics like limpid spinel and a lot of people tell me I look like Skywarp (AN: if u don’t know who he is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Solus Prime but I wish I was because she’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a sparkeater but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white facial plating. I’m also a space wizard, and I captain an awesome spaceship called the Lost Light in space where I’ve been here for years (I’m 4.2 million). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Bot Topic and I buy all my paints from there. For example today was I wearing a black matte base coat with matching trim around it and a shiny clear coat on my hips, purple joint accents, and black leg armor. I was wearing a black flame decal on my chest, white primer on my face, black optic trim with red undereye paint. I was walking around the ship. The ship is in space so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

“Hey Rodimus!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Megatron!

--

That was it.

After several pages of faux edgy stylistic choices, unusual plot decisions, and uncomfortable semi-graphic depictions of interfacing, Minimus had seen more than enough.

He turned the datapad off and went off to locate the author. Rodimus needed to learn to not leave these sorts of personal writing out where everyone and Primus could see it. He was lucky that Minimus found it first.

What had that mech been thinking? Leaving it in the captain’s chair where it would almost certainly be seen? That was just asking for trouble.

--

"Rodimus, what is this?"

Minimus held the datapad up for the captain's inspection, doing his damned best to keep the expression on his face neutral as possible.

Creative writing was an important avenue of self-expression, of course; Minimus knew that from personal experience. He was in no position to judge Rodimus, after all. It was all part of practicing a skill and there was no shame in that.

Furthermore, indulging in fantasy from time to time was an allegedly healthy behavior for the processor. That was what his research had indicated anyway.

However, from the contents that Minimus had inadvertently borne witness to, he could only wonder, perhaps, if there were other factors at play. He had never seen anyone describe Megatron that way, with that much color and awkward eroticism. Conversations might need to be had.

Rodimus’s optics went wide when he recognized the datapad before he snatched out right out of Minimus’s outstretched hand.

“Thanks, Mims,” he said, not bothering to answer the question actually asked of him. “I must have misplaced that.”

His vocalizer sounded like it has been kicked into double-speed and pitched up.

Embarrassment. An expected reaction.

Rodimus, however, turned on his heel to march off in the other direction.

“Anyway, I need to go jump out of the airlock now. See you around, buddy.”

Minimus hurried after him.

“Isn’t that rather excessive?”

“It sure is, my guy!”

Rather than stopping, Rodimus rounded a blind corner. The heavy sound of armor colliding and Rodimus’s voice going “oof!” announcing that he had impacted a crew member in his haste.

“Oh, hey, Megs, I didn’t see you there—“

[fnafs-ex-boyfriend]

Undertale fans. They’re annoying.

Wow, big shocker. But I’m here to discuss this very annoying problem that the UTDR fandom has in general that most other fandoms don’t have.

(Disclaimer: This post is not targeting all UTDR fans, just one annoying subset. And if the takeaway of this post is that I don’t like the Undertale fandom, you would be right. Undertale is a great game, though. Also if you are offended by this, you’re the problem, it’s you.)

I recently just learned about “Let Papyrus Say ‘Fuck’ Day”, which if you don’t know is a fanart protest internet holiday against the people who think that Papyrus is some cutesy little angel innocent baby who doesn’t have complex thoughts and emotions. Which is absolutely ridiculous. Papyrus isn’t stupid and he’s not some little innocent child. And Papyrus isn’t the only UTDR character who gets wildly misinterpreted. I could talk about Sans here, but that’s hard and I don’t wanna. So I’m gonna talk about Berdly instead.

Why did people think Berdly was an incel? Or transphobic or homophobic? The incel one is a bit more understandable, as they’re at least some evidence you could interpret, but it’s still just blatantly incorrect. In the neutral route of chapter two, not even the secret route or anything, he blatantly says out loud near the end of the route that he NEVER HAD A CRUSH ON NOELLE/WAS AFTER HER ROMANTICALLY. He literally says that he was acting so annoying to her because he thought that she had a crush on him and he was acting accordingly because he’s a socially inept teenager who doesn’t know how someone with a crush acts. So the fact that some fans would insist that that was true was so infuriating to me.

Now here’s my epic theory about how so many people misinterpret massive amounts of the games that they claim to be experts in: I think that a lot of UTDR fans haven’t played the games. Or, at least, not fully. The thing about TobyFox’s games is that he leaves a lot of lore and storytelling in very discreet, blink-and-you’ll-miss-it ways that someone who only runs through the game once will miss massive amounts of the story. And, especially with Undertale, you practically experience none of the story if you just play the game once. So my theory goes that a lot of the UTDR fans saw one playthrough online, or played a little bit of it, or watched an animated fan AU online and got really into it, leaving them vastly disconnected from the original source material.

I’m not saying this is an invalid way to get into something. For example, I’ve never played Poppy Playtime, but I still consider myself a fan! (Not of EnchantedMob, though. I have standards.). The big problem with this in the UTDR fandom is because there are SO MANY FANS like this, these people tend to act like the authority on the game, and it infuriates me as someone who’s played through both games many, many times. It’s like someone reading “My Immortal”, then went on a Harry Potter forum to say that “actually the characters wouldn’t act like this because they’re all goffic and edgy”. This makes me so annoyed I hate it so much. I’ve read every wiki page and played each game countless times but SURE, go off about how Papyrus totally wouldn’t act like that because of some edgy AU you saw.

Ugh, I’m done. This makes me so annoyed. Let me know if any of you find this irritating as well.

[mouthsfullofsharpteeth]

more my immortal clan thoughts

ebony is apart of the traveling group so her friends are all renamed

crowfeather stays the same but hes draco

brambleclaw- vampire -> hes called vampireclaw

feathertail- willow -> feathermurder

stonefur- diabolo - diabolostone

squilf- bloody mary -> bloodysquirrel

leafpool is a prep, snape becomes a cat just named Snake and that was her mentor, lupin is graystripe, dumbledore is firestar, mcgonagle is sandstorm, scourge is gerard way and bloodclan is my chemical romance but i might rename that to my chemical romclance. also all the cats who become goffic move to join shadowclan because thunderclan is full of fucking preps

[garlic-the-gnome]

Bite The Throat

Strange Aeons LotR crackfic

Twas the year 2015 and Frodo “The Skull” Baggins was in the bathroom dying his hair to be eboney black. After his parents had died in a beetroot farming accident he’d gone goth. Sadness and death were his new parents. Frodo was currently wearing a black nightgown draped over his shoulders so he didn’t dye his skin. He flicked his wet dye soaked hair off his forehead as the bathroom door opened. 

In walked his boyfriend Sam the Killer. Sam was 4 feet tall and wearing black skinny jeans, a MCR band shirt with the sleeves cut off over a long sleeve black mesh shirt. Many gothic tattoos could be seen through the mesh but the most eye-catching was Sam’s teardrop tattoo underneath his eye.

Hey Babey, said Sam. They pashed passionantley. Gloopy dye smushing into Sam. The Skull pulled away from Sam’s embrace, his dark orbs penetrating into his sole with sadness and despair. I need ta wash this shit out first, sorry babette, The Skull dropped his silk lace black nightgown to the ground and stepped into his ice cold shower, but his soul was colder. Sam’s eyes eyed The Skull’s shredded torso as he bathed underneath the stream of water. The Skull had a massive tattoo covering his back, it was like angel wings but instead of feather it was bones (authors note: pretty goff right).

Once The Skull’s hair was pitch blak and clean they began passionantye making out again. They went to their gothic bedroom with had dark purple walls covered in goff band posters and a black lacey blanket and a black shaggy carpet in the shape of a skull. They went on the bed and did you know what (an: im not a perv okay!!!!)

The next morning they awoke to a loud knocking outside their bedroom. They hastily pulled the quilt up to cover their bodies, their small heads peaking out of the top of the bed.

In walked Strange. Strange was also a hobbit who was gothic. She had met The Skull and Sam at an goth band concert that was held in The Shire. Strange has short gothic hair and a skull chain around her neck and big boots that made her taller than the other hobbits. Gandalf was also there, towering over Strange. He was no longer known as Gandalf the Grey but Gandalf the goth. He had a long balk robe with a slit up the side showing off his pale with smooth skin, covered in satanic symbols. His big hat was now replaced with an emo beanie and his long fringe poked out of it covering one of his eyes. 

Get up losers, he yelled at The Skul and Sam. The two jumped out of bed, exposing themselves to Strange and Gandalf whose eyes were offended by the ripped hobbit that was The Skull. The naked hobbits were soon clothed in the closest cool clothes.

The all sat down for first breakfast at the table. Gandalf explained while sipping on a goblet of blood that they needed to travel across middle earth and defeet the head prep, Golum, who’d been gathering an army of preps and posers to take down the goffic haven of The Shire. As they ate their black pancakes and blackberries they agreeded with Gandalf and the four woud travel to go defeat Golum and his army.

They packed their favourite band shirts, some drugs and their mp3 player and left the shire with their satchels covered in gothic patches. The other hobbits made pentagons with the hands and flipped them off as they left the Shire.

@strange-aeons

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Saturday, August 26th, part two

[Fandom Discussions]

Joss Whedon and Conversations with Dead People - "I think he cheated" by itsnotmymind

Giles is basically Batman in the Buffyverse by Angelique Grayson Of The Volturi Guard

I LOVE the idea of Giles being a single dad to a baby version of Buffy by Angelique Grayson Of The Volturi Guard

How did Giles get assigned to be Buffy’s watcher? by Aphony Cree

that othello reference in 03x18 is PERFECT by bangelism

when angel says “unlike me, she won’t have to go through it alone” by bangelism

[Faith's betrayal by the Mayor] by buffy-targaryen

the idea of vamp willow as also a lesbian but not having been able to realize that by chasingfictions

In the two episodes after Jenny Calendar’s death ... by coraniaid

The one creative failure of [BtVS] Season 3 by coraniaid

My most unpopular Season 1 opinion is that Cordelia Chase is often deliberately very unpleasant this season by coraniaid

Angel’s relationship with Buffy is romanticized abuse by dreamcaught

The way they build “Anne” by evilwickedme

Spike: possibly the greatest male character development that I've ever seen by Girl4Music

Angel’s friends not realizing that he’s soulless / the Scoobies not realizing that it was Faith in Buffy’s body by oveliagirlhaditright

Buffy season 5 and Angel season 2 turn into high fantasies at the same time by oveliagirlhaditright

Liminal space characters [Spike] by spock-in-awe

The over all TRAGEDY of Jonathan's character by still-nix-d-goffic

I do feel bad for people who genuinely hate Buffy’s friends by aingeal98

Imagine your best friend turns out to be kind of very evil by aingeal98

[Defending Xander in "Into the Woods"] by alexthepleb

[Angel vs Spike after getting their souls] by Spangel My Beloved

Imagine: in "Becoming Part:2" when Buffy and Spike are talking to Joyce by spikeshairgel

If Buffy got to Warren first before Willow after he killed Tara? continued by garfan and others

How Would You Write Spike's Story On The Show? by hoponlilmama

Lindsey's choices in Blind Date and Angel's influence by Stoney

Angel’s name by hthbellhop76

Huh - what? [Angel being choked] by Massive-Teach-8345

Why does Joss Whedon hate happiness? - Fred by cvscvs2

Was there a storyline with the annoited one that got dropped? by darkaurora84

Riley cringe [Something Blie picnic] by buffylover98

If Giles and Amy could turn Buffy from a rat back into a human, why couldn't Giles turn Amy back? by daizychainn

Alternate idea I had for Angel Season 4--Cordy and Connor and Angel by kipcarson37

Season 1 Episode 5 Easter Egg by darkaurora84

The Wish…. Huh? by CheesecakeHorror8613

Why did Buffy do it? [Have sex with Spike and other Smashed/Wrecked questions] by Brandoldnew99

Catherine Madison: Fate by Few-Library-7549

What does "Bossy The Cow" Mean? Xander by PeachKitchen3635

Giles' arc episodes by Finner42

Does this make any sense? [Buffy sleeping with Satsu] by Ficfan2998

What's a good thing you can say about your most hated episode? by Imaginecoolname

What existing episode would you have liked to have been a Zeppo kind of episode by Lobothehobosexual

Am I misremembering? [about Oz being a senior] by kawaiitacochocolate

Is Giles an alcoholic? by Che_Consolini

Fool for Love by aeryn1227

The Puppet Show continuity by Tuxedo_Mark

Why did The Initiative need Spike to be knocked out twice? by artmalique

Who is your favorite character and why isn't it Dru or Spike? by snowmanlvr69

Which one episode characters would you have liked to have seen more of? by Ad_Meliora_24

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

Join the editor team :)

[southerngoffics]

feeling very passionate about monster high designs bc Frankie going this long without a mullet feels criminal

[the-lorax-mustache]

In order to save the princess you have to disguise yourself as a teen and go to the Prom. But you aren’t getting in without a date who actually goes to the school. You approach a group of students. Another member of your party assigns them numbers 1-20 and puts the numbers in a hat. The number you draw is the one you must ask to prom.

Roll a d20 to see who you ask

1. Jimbob the Teifling. He just got his driver’s license!

2. Betty the bard with a bucket hat

3. JT. They’re dad is the owner of the local super market

4. Carlos the Orc Druid. He’s new in town

5. Duchess Vanessa. She’s the princess’s cousin and is super jealous of her

6. Gooobydoob 6’5” tall human raised by kobolds. Can speak 6 languages

7. Enoby D’arkness Dementa Raven Way. She’s goffic

8. Apples the talking horse. She’s the class valedictorian and her dad is in jail for arson.

9. Chris. He’s flattered but politely declines because he’s already going with Tiffany. Roll again.

10. Tiffany. She already said yes to Chris but doesn’t tell you that because she would rather go with you because she was only going with Chris to make Carlos jealous, and she thinks you would make him more jealous. Meanwhile Carlos is completely oblivious to the fact that Tiffany has a crush on him. Which is probably for the best. Carlos has a crush on Ursula, but is too shy to admit it.

11. Ursula, the bug bear with great hair

12. Mike and Ezekiel, they are already going together but are open to a 3rd. (They only have one number because your friend didn’t see Ezekiel. He is wearing a very effective camouflage jump suit)

13. Marsha. She’s actually best friends with the princess and would be invaluable for your mission. The only problem, her parents are super strict and have forbid her from going to the dance. She accepts your invitation on the condition that you can break her out of the house and provide a prom dress. (All her dresses are little house on the prairie style)

14. Jacque the elvin jock. He’s the quarter back of the football team and his dad is the cop that put Apples’ dad in jail for arson.

15. Bryce. He gave everyone lice. In fact he did so twice. What an unfortunate roll of the dice.

16. Lord flip flop. King of the waves.

17. Rocko. Sells drugs to all the teachers.

18. Hyacinth. Shortest of her 11 siblings at only 10’9”, this giant barbarian is a (not so) huge disappointment to her family. She was also an unknowing accomplice in the arson that landed Apples’ dad in jail.

19. Beck. They were going to skip the prom to instead do a pop up art show featuring their art series entitled “lawfulness by definition is never neutral. a retrospective of systemic genocide of halflings and kobolds by creating strategic laws that codified pitting the two races against each other by the corrupt government of king Victor-Justin XI from the years 76899 to 76904 inclusive” the art itself consists of discarded wooden bowls from Red Oak Tavern, all painted with concentric circles in neon orange. But Beck likes your aura enough to go to the prom with you and re schedule the art show for next weekend.

20. Lucy. Her mom is the janitor. She stole a key ring with all the keys to all the rooms in the school ages ago. Her mom still has no idea. She’ll let you into any room in the school for a stick of gum. Or even for free if she thinks it’s funny enough. She just likes chaos.

[myimmortalfan666]

Erm, here's the parody I made! It uses characters I like from an anime called Love Live Sunshine, which I don't think you're familiar with but hopefully doesn't ruin the enjoyability of this or anything. For some context, "mikans" are a type of mandarin orange and "µ's" is a group in the universe of the show. I also forgot the change one description of the main character's outfit (woopsy daisy.)

I was about to stab myself with the silver knife that my mom had lent me in case I needed to cut something. She had told me to use it valiantly against sausages or something but I knew that me and Hanamaru must both go together.

“NO!” I THOUGHT IT WAS CHIca but it was Lily. She started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! NOT THE DOGS!” and then….. her eyes rolled up! You could only see her red whites.

I stopped. “How did u know?”

“I saw it! And my phobia came back!”

“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you weren't scared of dogs anymore!” I shouted.

“I am but my time helping you take care of Laelaps lessened it and I always hide it with my poker face.” she said back. “Anyway my head hurt and I saw horrible dog visions! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Hanamaru…………….Seint Snow has her kidnap!”

Anyway I was in the school nurse’s office now recovering from my stabbed tummy. Yo and CHEKA were there too. They were going to a different school after they recovered cause they were losers and this school was getting closed down anyway. Mari had constipated the cideo camera they took of me dancing. I put up my middle finger at them.

Anyway Chica came into my hospital bed holding a bowl of mikans.

“Yohane I need to tell u somethnig.” she said in a v. serious voice, giving me the mikans.

“Fuck off.” I told her. “You know I fucking hate mikans anyway, and I don’t like fucked up school idols like you.” I snapped. Chica had been mean to me before for being a fallen angel.

“No Yohane.” Chica says. “Those are not mikans.”

“What, are they demons too you poser angel?” I asked cause I was angry that she had brought me mikans.

“I saved your life!” She yelled angrily. “No you didn’t I replied.” “You saved me from getting a school idol music video made from your tomfoolery and being vued by Yo.” Who DANSED (c is dat speld rong) to it she added silently.

“Whatever!” I yelled angirly.

She pointed her finger at the mikans. “These aren’t mikans.” She suddenly looked at them with an evil look in her eye and muttered Todokete Setsunasa ni wa Namae o tsukeyou ka snOW HALATION! .

“That’s not a spell that’s a µ's song.” I corrected her wisely.

“I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes.” Then she screamed. “Petulus merengo myuzu(4 all u cool goffic muse fans out, there, that is a tribute!)snowo halationo!”

And then the mikans turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black. Now I knew she was a little demon.

“OK I believe you now wtf is Hanamaru?”

Cheka rolled h eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

“U c, Yohimby,” Mawi said, watching the two of us watching the flame. “2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT) u mst find urslf 1st, k?”

“I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD WOMAN!” Chica yelled. mAWi lookd shockd. I guess she didn’t have a headache or else she would have said something back.

Chica stormed off back into her bed. “U r a liar, chairwoman marii!”

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of µ's members on them. I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don’t know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!) and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

“You look kawai, girl.” Wooby said sadly. “Fangs (geddit) you do too.” I said sadly too, but I was still upset. I stabbed myself feeling totally depressed and I drank all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades and mask on so Yo couldn’t spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Riri was in the math class. She looked all depressed because Hanamaru had disappeared and she had used to be in love with Hanamaru. She was sucking some blood from a first year.

“Hi.” she said in a depressed way. “Hi back.” I said in an wqually said way.

We both looked at each other for some time. Riko had beautiful golden eyes so much like Hanamaru. Then……… we jumped on each other and started smooching each other.

“STOP IT NOW YOU HOMOSEXUAL DUNDERHEADS!” shouted Daia the student council president who was watching us and so was everyone else.

“Lily you fucker!” I said slapping her. “Stop trying to smooch me. You know I loved Hanamaru!” I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

Just then she started to scream. “OMFG! NOOOOO! NOT THE DOGS!” and then….. her eyes rolled up! You could only see her red whites.

I stopped. “How did u know?”

“I saw it! And my phobia came back!”

“NO!” I ran up closer. “I thought you weren't scared of dogs anymore!” I shouted.

“I am but my time helping you take care of Laelaps lessened it and I always hide it with my poker face.” she said back. “Anyway my head hurt and I saw horrible dog visions! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Hanamaru…………….Seint Snow has her kidnap!”

this gave me a laugh! thank you anon

[tinx-methinks]

Songs with Names in the Title!

Wow! Thank you to the lovely @macaroni-rascal for the tag~! <3 You can check out the songs she listed here. It was fun to check them out. I added Adrienne and Adrianne to my playlist and I think I liked Christine too in spite of the fact I don't listen to much French Music (I didn't pick up French in school. Skill issue. You know how it goes.)

Also- what a unique prompt! I don't think I've seen this one go around before and I was so excited when I saw I'd been tagged.

List 10 songs with 10 names in the titles that you like, and then tag 10 people.

For Elise by Saint Motel - as soon as I saw this prompt I thought of this song because it's been on my new tunes on repeat playlist and it mentions a whole bunch of names.

Adrianne by The Orion Experience- just a bop.

Marvin, I Love You which is a Hitchhiker's Guide tie-in media thing. - This is 100% here because of my friend Luke.

Come on Eileen by Dexy's Midnight Runners - this is a classically beloved song that has the side effect of making me inappropriately wishing I was Eileen.

Louie Louie by The Kingsmen - Oh this one is really fun to listen to and I've liked it for years and the only line of it I can tell you is the "Louie Louie" part.

Joshua Tree by Carly Rae Jepsen - Both the Loneliest Time and the Loveliest Time albums are so fucking good just do yourself a favor and listen to 'em both.

Dr. Jones by Aqua - Shamefully discovered this way too late in my childhood to blame it on nostalgia. I'm just like this.

Maggie May by Rod Stewart- It's a good song! I stand by my Rod Stewart phase.

Oh Caroline by The 1975 - He's bad. I know he's bad. You know he's bad. I still like lots of their songs and this one is no exception.

Bob Marley by Dean Brody - I had to take an opportunity to rep some Canadian country music and this is a beautiful little song about grief.

And as for people to tag

I guess I'll go for @nightlamor, @caw-oticdork, @emancipationangel, @rablecca, @theoverlander, @maiaofmischief, @sunflourishing, @still-nix-d-goffic, @band-aidbunny, @mxmoons, @snarktocrab,

and anyone else who sees this and really wants to do it. I just ask that you tag me because listening to yalls song recs is the best way for me to find new music I like. But again, no pressure if I tagged ya.

Thankies all.

[myrammmortal]

Chapter 41, porn = love

AN: 2 every1 hu kepz flaming diz GIT S LIF!!!!! I bet u proly odnt no hu gerod way is ur proly al prepz and pozers!!!!!!!!11111 neway sum1 hakked in2 mi akkount in November and dey put up my last chaptah but now der is a new 1. im surry 4 nut updating g 4 a while but ive been rilly bizzy. im trying 2 finish da story b4 da new movie kumz out. Im gong on vacation 4 a mons I wont be bak until abott 2 weeks. OMFG drako iz so hot in all da pix 4 da new movie!!!111 I wunted dem 2 put a kameo by geord way lol he hsud play drako. if u flame ill slit muh risztz!!!!!!!!11 raven u rok gurl hav fun in ingland.

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When I wook up I wuz in a strange room. I loked around I wuz wearing da same outfit I had when is performed wif XBlakXTearX!!!!!11 I looked arund confusedly. It wuz da Norse’s office but it looked difrent!! On da wall wuz a pik of Marlyin Munzon!!!1111 (just imagin dat he is an 80s goffik band 2 ok koz he is more old den panic?! at da dizcko or mcr) der wuz also a goffik blak Beatles calander with a picture of the beetlez werring iyeliner and blak cloves. On it said ‘1980.’

“OMFG!!! Im back in Tim again!!!!111” I screamed loudly. Suddenly Satan(dis is actually voldimort 4 photo refrenss!). Voldimort wuz wearing a blak leather Jackson, blak tight jeans and fishnet pantz. He looked so sexah I almost had an orgy!!!!11

“OMFG Paul Shadow Omnipotentia Raven Face Landers r u ok.” He asked gothikally.

“Yah Im okay 4 ur in4mation.” I snapped sexily. “OMG am I dedd???” koz I remembered I had jumped in front off da bullet from Jame’s gun. I also rememberd cing Richard doing it wif Snap!!!!111

I guessed dat when I had slit mi wrists I had went bak in tim instead of dieing. I knoew I could go forward in time if I found a time-toner or da tim machine.

“No ur not dead.” Satan reassured suicidally as he smokd a cigarette sexily and smoke came all over his face. “Ur a vampire so u kant die frum a bullet. You should know that you can only die from slicing your wrists with a steak. Cum on now lets go c how Hairy’s dad is doing.”

I noo dat da real reason I didn’t die from da ballet was koz I was from da future. “WTF!!!! James almust shot Luciious!!!” I said indigoally. I knew that James had really ben possezzed, but I didn’t want him2 know I knew.

“Yah I know but he had a headache he wz under a lot of stress.” Satan reasoned evilly.

“I guess that’s ok.” I said because James hadn’t really shot Lucian. Also I noo that Lucian wood now have 2 arms instead of 1. I walked seduktivly outside with Satan. Suddeni I saw a totally sexi goffik bi guy!!!!!11 He had bleched blond hair wiv blak streaks up 2 his ears and he wuz wearing goffik blak iliner, a blak Green Day shirt (it showed billy joel wiv bolnd hair since it was da eighties), blak congress shoes and black baggy pants. He walked in all sexly like Gerrd way in the vido for I Don’t 3 u lyk I did yesterday and you cud see a blak tear on his face lyk da wmn in dat video. “Hey.” He sed all qwietly and goffically.

“Who da fuck is that?” I asked angrly cos I did nut kno him.

“Dis is…Hedwig!!!!!!!!!11” Sed Volximort. “He used to be in XBlackXTearX 2 but he had 2 dropp out koz he broke his arm. Or his wing I guess. He is an owl after all. And a girl. So I guess she broke her wing because she is an owl.

“Hey Hedwig.” I said seductively evn tho I wuz nut tring to b.

“Lol hi stranger I have never met before but I guess because of your immense beauty I shall call Paul Darkness Great Mal Omnipotentia Raven Face Landers.” He answered but then he ran away bcos he had hair of magical creature. Some would call them feathers. He was humming Welcum 2 da Blak Prade under his breth( I no dat is not 80s but pretend it is ok!!)

“Bye.” I sed all sexily.

“Dat was Hedwig. He used 2 b my boifreind but we broke up.” Satan said sadly, luking at his blak nails.

“OMFG I can get u bak 2gether!” I said fingering something I didn’t know wuz in my pocket- a blak Kute is What we Aim 4 cideo ipod that I could take videos wif (duz ne1 elze no about dem??? dey kik azz!!!!).

“Ok u can 4get about ur class for now, Hedwig. Im going 2 show u something grate!!!!1” I led them to da Great Hall. “Cum on u guys.”

Lucian, James, Serious and Snake were all in da Grate Hall. Lucian woudnt talk wiv James because he had tried 2 shoot him.

“Go fuk urself you fukking douche!” he shouted at him. “Richard is never gong 2 b frends with vampire now!!1 Though I have no idea who these two people are anyway because I'm 16 and from a different time!"

“Yah go fuck urself Samaro!” Snape agreed but I noo he wuz lying koz it had been his folt James had almost shot Lucian.

“B quiet u guys.” I said sexily. Mi plan waz working oot great. Now I kood make Voldement good wivout doing it with him! Now Vampire’s dad wood never die and “OK Satan and Hedwig, u guys can start making out.” I said and I started 2 film dem wiv da ipod. Because making a gay porn is totally the way to true love! And if you disagree with this I will bring out the homophone again!

“Kool.” said Serious as Voldemort and Hedwig started 2 make out sexily. We watched as tdey started 2 take each odderz cloves off sexily. Samaro, Serious, Snake and Lucian all watched koz dey wer prolly bi. I noo Snape was bi.

“Oh my fukking god!!!! Voldimort! Voldimort!” screamed Hedwig as his glock touched Voldemort’s.

But suddenly everything stopped as da door opend and in kame………………Daddy Till and Mr. Norris!!!!111111111111  

Daddy Till was carrying Mr. Norris in his arms and stroking him like an evil villain. "What are you doing here?!" I screamed all sexily and suicidally. "Do you think you can just walk in here and expect to be part of this very hot, spontaneous, true love, steaming gay porn scene?" "No Paul Darkness Elementia Raven Face Landers," he said while he was still stroking Mr Norris the cat, "I expect you to die!".

"NOOOooooOOOOooooo!!!!" I screamed, and everything went black again.