#they cut you

[myrammmortal]

This is it, chapter 11. The last one. Don't cry, it will be okay. Somewhere, but not here.

“NO!” I screamed. I was horrorfied! Frau Schneider tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off and I ran to my room crying myself. Till chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume. I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! Anyway, makeover time! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings. I couldn’t fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Flake was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks.

“EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!” I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it. Suddenly Vampire ran in.

“Abra Kedavra!” he yelled at Flake and Loopin pointing his womb. I took my gun and shot Flake and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Till ran in. “Paul Darkness Edgelord Troglodyte Shadow Dementia Raven Way Alzheimer Birdflu Croissant Boy Landers, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” he shouted looking at Flake and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly���

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

“What do you know, Hargrid? You’re just a little Hogwarts student!”

“I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT….” Hargirid paused angrily. “BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!”

“This cannot be.” Flake said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Tills wand had shot him. “There must be other factors.”

“YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!” I yelled in madly.

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. “The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!”

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

“Why are you doing this?” Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

“BECAUSE…BECAUSE….” Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

“Because you’re goffic?” Flake asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

“Because I LOVE HER!”

We heard a car door close and Olli came walking towards us. The wellness retreat had clearly done him some good. "Hi guys, I'm back. Did I miss anything?"

Well, this was that entire nightmare. I hope the sweet people from Rammtisch that requested this are happy. If you have any questions, I don't blame you. I have many as well. And not a single answer. But if you do have questions I will try to answer anyway. Person who originally wrote My Immortal: I hope you are okay, wherever you are. Your story may be the worst story ever written but I hope that didn't stop you from writing anyway and improving on your skills. I hope you are living a happy life and I hope that you can look back on your story and laugh at the joy and tears it continues to give people after all these years.

Yes, Paul's name has been changing and has been getting weirder by request. Why? Because I can!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Knowledge Revenge.

[bob-artist]

I had an upsetting dream last night.

[marlynnofmany]

Add another one to the list of hilarious examples of why generative AI doesn't produce correct answers, just statistically likely ones.

(Customers asked for how-to videos, which the company doesn't have. The AI chatbot decided that a million internet users linking to this video after similar requests couldn't be wrong.)

[calamitys-child]

What's everyone's favourite flowers that aren't like. The normal ones. Like everyone's a fan of roses and sunflowers what's a more niche one. One you don't get in gift sets. Mine's sweet peas

[problemnyatic]

the steven universe hate is insane bc people are (or at least were) more upset that fictional war criminals got fictional hugs than they recognize that it singlehandedly advanced queer rep in children's media by lightyears and then straight up ate heavy retaliation for the nerve.

It does have real flaws that are worth discussing, but it also put their male protagonist in dresses and skirts and played it straight and even empowering, they aired a lesbian wedding on television, it was a genuinely queer, genuinely diverse piece of media through and through. It did a lot of real good for the real world.

But also the fictional characters caused fictional harm to other fictional characters, and didn't get an onscreen firing squad sentence. So, you know, it's basically ontologically evil in real life.

[psych-is-the-name]

[waywardstation]

Look for anything (or anyone) that could be familiar

For part two:

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[oviraptoridae]

here's what ur gonna do. ur gonna get a plain tshirt from anywhere. from ur closet or ur dad or the thrift store or whatever. then ur gonna go to the dollar store or whatever equivalent u have in ur country. ur gonna get fabric paint and a sponge. ur gonna go home and take a cereal box or a cover of a magazine or something similar. ur gonna draw a design on it [or words. or print out a picture and trace it onto the cardstock) and cut out a stencil. then ur gonna use the sponge to dab the paint onto the shirt using the stencil. ur gonna do that thinly in 2-3 coats until it's opaque but not too stiff. then ur gonna let it dry for 24 hours. ur gonna cover that shirt with a thin towel and press an iron against the design for 30 seconds. then ur gonna wash it & wear it. got it?

[irregularbillcipher]

nobody understands this highly popular fictional character at all except for me and my carefully curated panel of mutuals

[samble-moved]

post itself

false flags

trans/adjacent tags

accessibility features

tumblr live post (thanks for the link, @problemnyatic)

flashing / strobing / lights

unblockable flashing ad

buying ad free

staff @/macmanx guilt trip

list of staff + more issues

[eydilily]

wild life pearl i support you

[featheredpheonix]

Incredibly disappointing behavior made all the more cynical by it happening just after Pride Month

[paintedcrows]

They're both autistic (and ADHD) 2 me

[valtsv]

having long hair is fun but it does mean accepting that you have an entity on your head that understands the concept of the sunk cost fallacy and will not hesitate to remind you of this

[shinesurge]

did yall know cricut put a metal strip in the back of their newer Maker 3 that doesn't do anything except pop out after like six months of regular use and force you to call customer service so they can tell you to replace the machine

well they did and instead of calling them and replacing an entire functional fucking machine you can just cut the bar out and put tape over what's left

fuck offfff,