#also depression can suck my left nut

[blunderpuff]

my mom hates the house, hates the neighborhood (can't walk to anything/have to get in the car for everything), can't find stuff she packed, doesn't have good places to put her stuff, her big desk doesn't fit in the "office alcove", the cat is days away from being put down and so he's clingy and sad...

MA'AM. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS DESPERATE TO MOVE. BUYING THIS HOUSE HAS BEEN IN THE WORKS SINCE JULY OF THIS YEAR. "MOVING" AS A CONCEPT HAS BEEN THE SUBTITLE OF MY LIFE FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS. YOU DO NOT GET TO BE A PISSY TODDLER NOW. THIS IS LITERALLY ALL YOUR DOING.

[anachrosims]

I'm gonna get yelled at for this because Faulkner is the fandom's Special Boy(tm) but--

I cannot stand him. And it's not the actor (though the long, drawling, overdramatic manner of speaking is something I never liked, but I associate that with The Character and not The Actor, who I think does an amazing job)-- it's also not the writing.

In fact, I think the writing is as stellar as the voice acting!

Sometimes you just don't like characters. And before anyone is like, "you just don't understand him" or w/e, I can assure you, I do.

Read on if you want to know why I don't want him and Carpenter to have a happy/reconciled ending.

I know what it is to feel abandoned by everyone even before I start pushing people away. I know what it is to be a walking self-fulfilling prophecy awash in self-pity. I know what it is to never feel 'enough', to have vision for a better world and future, to always feel disregarded, underestimated.

... but what drives me nuts about Faulkner is his unwillingness to admit fault without making it all about himself. At some point, I had to recognize what my dysfunction and severe depression were causing me to do to the people around me. I had to recognize that, understandable though my behavior was (self pity, self deprecation, just being an all-around emotional black hole), it was hurting not just myself but other people. And it sucked! It sucked because I was coming off a childhood of abuse and CPTSD! I had every g-ddamn reason to be what I was!! ...But that gave me no right to be so selfish as to never recognize that I was turning my pain onto other people, intentionally or not.

I can't stand to hear Faulkner wax poetic about blaming everyone else for his bullshit, and then, when he does blame himself, it's not out of contrition or to make a damn thing better. And through the whole series he's been blinded not by his faith in the Trawlerman, but by his own delusions of grandeur. I think he's lost touch with his faith because he betrayed that faith to be zealous for his own ambitions.

Guy is suffering consequences of his own actions but he ain't even learning from 'em. And what drives me nuts the MOST, is the consequences of his selfishness are a BODYCOUNT. Normally I love watching characters like this on their downward spiral, but it's not as fun when I have to listen to half an hour of their self-pity monologue, and know that their lack of real humility is only going to get more people killed.

I hope that he and Carpenter DON'T get that happy ending. Sometimes friendships can't heal. Sometimes people don't want to take a look at themselves and actually do what's right. I want to hope that Faulkner can at least have a chance to work toward that at all, but with two episodes left... nah, son. This boy was born under a star of hubris, and Carpenter deserves not to deal with his messes. He hopes she hates him, but that's more selfishness talking; hate burns and corrupts you when you hold onto it, and Carpenter deserves better than that.

[rooreelooo]

Is your Nuts and Bolts LP still available anywhere?

hello, anonymous person from 2016. yes it IS.

when you originally asked this question it wasn't, but hey 8 years have passed and things have changed now. the world fucking sucks, but ONE way that it has improved is that i made the effort to upload my LPs to a modern video hosting platform. all three LPs are here - totalling 1 day, 15 hours, 22 mins and 36 secs of video. that's a lot! a lot a lot a lot! (remember that guy from majora's mask?)

and because i'm insane i also went to the effort of adding 'director's commentary' to every video, padding out this project even further. that's over 42,000 words of commentary that literally nobody will ever read, because immediately after i posted it all youtube rolled out an updated video design that masked the video description underneath a dropdown menu, thus ensuring my gags and mental breakdowns remain entombed in obscurity (where they absolutely belong). thanks a fucking lot!

this reupload project also features over 10k words of nuts & bolts fanfiction i wrote to go alongside the videos, which is... also something that nobody will ever read. i linked it here anyway. one thing about me is that i labour over massive projects that nobody will ever see, and i never finish them. my hard drive is a graveyard of video and writing projects that will never see the light of day in either complete or incomplete form. can i be real for a second though? i LOVE this. i think this is one of the funniest things i have ever written lmao. and i actually got it not only completed, but posted publicly too. holy shit.

i'm split on whether i should do anything else with this project. on the one hand, all that commentary i spent over a year writing should have a chance at being seen. arguably i should start putting those gags and comments somewhere that they might actually get eyes on them, like here on tumblr or on cohost or something. on the other hand, this is already a 16-year old video project that i have arguably milked for way more than it's actually worth. i already added unnecessary extra commentary to a dead series of LPs, can you imagine anything more depressingly recursive and masturbatory than putting those comments elsewhere... with further comments? lmao. that would be a horse-flogging so thorough that the horse would be reduced to a fine red paste.

don't let the big cartoon eyes on it's head fool you, this stone has no blood left to be wrung. but here's the links. enjoy them, please. don't forget they were made between the years of 2008-2010, that is very important contextualizing information. and for the curious, the reason why i never completed nuts & bolts is because i was depressed. and the reason why i have struggled to complete any creative pursuits for my entire adult life is because the spectre of this fucking project looms over me, kindly reminding me that this will ultimately be the fate of artistic endeavor i attempt.

[habitneedstod1e]

To my grandparents who so desperately want to be our parents

Aug 9

I fucking hate you, Tim. I said that once as a pissed off little kid and regretted it now I will say it again, but with no remorse, as you dangle the threat of homelessness over our heads, knowing what we've fucking been through the past few years is fucking diabolical. You treat us as if we are still little girls not wanting to face reality and see we have grown but you expect us to be adults and do adult things like jobs you have only had three different jobs and you have only had one it is different now and its more difficult to get a job but no "teens do not want to work." We do its that your generation put this place into the fucking ground and thats somehow our fault. You get mad when we express ourselves we haven't decorated our room since the fifth grade. He can't even practice his sabbaths, and I can't dress how I want or look how I want without you both giving the most meanest looks like I have five heads. You don't even care that he needs to have a cane or wheelchair when he truly does you deaf ass needs hearing aids but we don't talk about that. You say we need help but look at us as if we are nut cases when we show mental health issues.

Like when I was having an autistic meltdown you hit me for hitting myself and said stop like I was a fucking dog. You don't treat people like that without them resenting you don't be surprised when we yell back as you know of our pasts but elect to ignore it when it comes to that. You act like a pissy bitch I will act as one right back tenfold. You are surprised when we sleep all the time and such from depression why? As if you haven't known this for fucking years and you somehow this it will be by the books you read by people who aren't even mentally unwell. It won't. It never has. You laugh at me as I say I cannot sleep and have to sleep with a fucking knife just to feel safe because of paranoia and laugh when I ask you to move or do something with the fucking sunflower that you somehow in your infinite knowledge put right outside our fucking window and it hits it so my paranoia thinks HE is breaking in to kill us but no that's fine. Those fucking papers you put out are fucking diabolical you are worthy of my hate for how you have treated me for YEARS do you remember the day after Thanksgiving when you said I was unlovable. I was 7. I hid away from you all day and later you took me to a basketball game and to Tim's to apologize but you never did apologize. You never have. When you wouldn't stop acting like that a drove me to cut myself all over and all  you said I love you that's not what someone who is supposed to love you does they are supposed to apologize for their wrongs like you force me to.

Sep 1

I would like to see them try to get a job in this day and age they like to say my mom was lazy for not getting one for 1 1/2 years but she was fuckin trying David wouldn't let her but that's her fault apparently and that she should have left him earlier and that's also her fault like do you know how fucing hard it is to leave a shitty borderline abusive boyfriend it's hella hard but they don't fucking get it as much as they say they do they don't. They just don't. Like I can't just go to a fucking trade school even if I qualify for assistance it is still too expensive even to get a fucking used car is expensive but they don't get that. I'm starting to see why mom doesn't like her that much I see why she's so argumentive and shit like always getting dismissed about serious shit that's important to you fucking sucks ass. I legit can't be myself I'm always looked at weird for everything its always so disturbing the way I dress act my interests and shit like I'm not a little girl anymore accept it already I'm not going back just because you don't fucking like it get the fuck over it cry me a river a build a bridge or some shit fuck me man my dad can accept it my mom kinda can why can't you is it because you want me to be that scared little girl again? That's not happening not again.

Sep 27th

it's my fault for you getting mad that my phone charms got caught on my hand and it somehow looks like I threw it I get you pay for the fucking thing but to hit me for it is fucking awful it's an object I AM A PERSON THAT YOU CLAIM TO LOVE I don't think you do I show any signs or symptoms of mental illness and I'm suddenly evil and unloveable its always my fucking fault anyways this isn't love all you do is criticize me and get mad when I say to stop but once again it's my fault always your the adult and I'm still that stupid fucking child you only see me as that little girl you FUCKING HIT ME LIKE A FUCKING DOG AGAIN im done they turned off the wifi and took our phone so I can't talk to fucking anyone loves this 

[flameontheotherside]

An Impossible Probability

Skepticism and denial of what's happened to me in my life as an intuitive has me feeling sometimes I'm just crazy and that the past 7 years are a lie. Well, sorry y'all, I'm not a liar. I didn't ask for this. It fell on my lap and maybe I did plan this out before I incarnated but this journey is fucking difficult.

What angers me about this is that I know there are people who are doubtful of me. But I understand it because I feel that doubt at times myself. Yes I'm bipolar so it also lends to discredability. But a lot of the things like hearing Erik in my head never happened until after this journey started! It started literally out of nowhere! It fucking scared the fucking hell out of me. It really really did.

I guess I protest too much but I call bullshit when I see it. Ask anyone. This at first I thought was bullshit. Then when reaching out for help initially I got criticized (in Erik's Facebook group of hypocrites and bags of dicks) which had me take a step back and realize that maybe there is a better way to go about it. So I started this blog as a way to log my experiences, share them in hopes of getting help and help others who might be having similar experiences.

Unfortunately reaching out to Erik's mom proved to be a waste of fucking time. I stopped listening to her podcasts and watching her videos. 1) It got weird because he's my twin soul and it was like the intuitives were also channeling me. Freaky shit. 2) It made me depressed. 3) I can get more from using my pendulum or listening to him if I decide listening to him was worth it. He talks too much and jokes a lot and he's not the only one who cant take what they dish out.

If I could live without this bullshit of a journey that it can be I would happily hand it off to someone who thinks this is a joy to have. I spent my entire life having anxiety up until winter 2009 over feeling like I needed to find some guy I've never met before. I couldn't talk about it because it sounded crazy. When I finally did, I found a psychic who pretty much said he's going to die, sorry, good luck. Then after he died he kept bothering me in my dreams. Lol he still does!

My life is kind of a joke. It's kind of laughable. I hate that I feel like I'm not being heard or that certain people could seriously not give a flying fuck nuts about what is happening to me and would rather stick their heads in the sand because their life sucks. Oh how Id love to give up my left nut\testicle...I mean ovary to have not had this shit literally haunt my life.

So idk excuse me if I can get a little pissy, irritated, annoyed, frustrated, depressed like I am now. I've told my therapist everything. It's kind of helping but I'm getting the sense that she's just placating me and I really don't want that. I wish people weren't so fucking people.

Not entirely a drunk but damn some days I just drink and sleep it off and ready to take on another fucking beautiful day.

😘💕 Thanks for coming to my tedtalk.

[beguilebrontide]

Either i sleep too much or i can't sleep at all wtf brain make up your mind

[pepprs]

ok. i have written 3.5 pages out of 10 minimum but have done no research. i need to change the entire angle of my paper i think so ummmmm not to ask this but can you guys help me brainstorm a new topic 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[olreid]

hi! could you rec me some sci fi books if u dont mind?

YEAH!

ender's game - i know orson scott card sucks and everything else ive ever tried to read by him sucks but ender's game might be my fave scifi of all time. if you've only ever read the first one or seen the movie or something you should really check out the sequels - the world opens up in a huge way and it's about how to do an ethnography of aliens and what it means to die too soon but also what it's like to outlive everyone you ever knew and about redemption for both individuals and entire species as a whole.. what if your first contact with aliens was a devastating war that did unspeakable damage to another culture and society? could your relationship ever recover? i'm not even scratching the surface of all that these books have to say i just think they r great.

DUNE - SORRY it's just great!!! i love dune!!! dune is the kind of series where every chapter has an epigraph from a book in-world that frank herbert made up for flavor!!! but instead of leaving it at that in later books you actually meet the authors of those books as fleshed out characters!!! he's nuts!!! only the first three are worth reading imo but it's like. such an immersive world with cool technology and factional politics and urgent questions of planetary and societal preservation and it's about consolidation of power and how to rule an empire and the futility of trying to outrun your destiny and also BIG WORMS.

roadside picnic - first contact story that's more about the ramifications of first contact on earth and its inhabitants; you never actually see the aliens onscreen but rather come to know them through the things they left behind. ur classic place-that's-super-fucked-up story <3 can we ever understand alien life? do we want to?

murderbot - murderbot!!! series made up of short little installments that are easy and engaging reads. what if a robot designed as an instrument of war emancipated itself so that it could have more free time to watch tv and then accidentally ended up caring about and trying to protect a bunch of human scientists who accidentally got themselves tangled up in corporate espionage and cover-ups and assassination attempts etc.? GOOD BOOKS, THATS WHAT.

hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy - on the off-chance that u haven't read this or the sequels, you should! easy and fun to read and has a surrealist approach to scifi that i really appreciate. science fiction is a genre where quite literally anything can happen and douglas adams takes that premise seriously!!! mice created the earth. robots have manic depression. you can watch the end of the world as many times as you want. it's all here baby and it BOPS

solaris - BOOK OF ALL TIME!!! scientists have discovered a planet that's covered in a sentient ocean and the main character is one of the few scientists remaining in a remote observation station orbiting the planet itself. psychological horror and cool made-up science! what more could u want.

the three-body problem - putting the SCIENCE in science fiction. the pacing on this one is a bit slow and it's a first-contact story so it takes place on earth rather than in space but the last 30 pages of this book.... bonkers. made me excited about science which is a real feat. also has some cool stuff to say about video games that reminds me a lot of ender's game, but i digress.

the left hand of darkness - technically scifi altho this has a much more speculative fiction/future fantasy feel to it imo? much more emphasis on worldbuilding and statecraft and politics and less on like. Science and Technology. GREAT book tho! gay people who need each other to survive the winter.. never gets old

ancillary justice / imperial radch series - also heavier on the politics and statecraft and lighter on the technology but SERIES OF ALL TIME!!!! it's about sentience and agency and loyalty and revenge and empire and when you're stuck on a road trip with someone who was born to annoy you. i read it weeks ago and simply cant stop thinking about it

i think that's all for now? anyone else is welcome to add their scifi recs below <3

[aajjks]

Cold Winds;

—> 𝕊𝕙𝕠𝕥𝕠 𝕋𝕠𝕕𝕠𝕣𝕠𝕜𝕚 𝕒𝕤 𝕒 𝕐𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕖𝕣𝕖.

Warnings: Yandere behaviour, obsessive behaviours, possessive behaviour, crazy behaviours, depressing, dark, angst, unhealthy romance, todoroki is nuts, childhood traumas, mentions of death. FLUFF

WC: 1.3k

A/N: hiii people!!!!! OH CAN I JUST SAY THAT IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU ALL TO READ THIS?!!! Hehe!!! TODOROKI MY MAN!!!! Literally I’m in love with him! And also please keep in mind that I’m very much new to anime world!!! I really wanted to write about Shoto though!!! Please forgive me if I got some info wrong! I’m very new so please teach me about them! ENJOY PLEASE AND SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS! My inbox is always open!!! ENJOY!!

Masterlist: 

Shoto Todoroki, he's an enigma. His ways are hard to understand for any being. His reserved personality overshadows his life. Todoroki’s personality is just like his Icy quirk.

He’s young, famous and strong. Well, at least physically. Todoroki, as much as he puts on a mask for the world to hide his emotional weakness, he’s still weak emotionally.

His childhood made him like this. Shoto always despised his father. He hated everything about him, as he grew older and older, his hatred grew with him.

Then, his older brother, Toya Todoroki’s death.

Shoto despite being the youngest, he’s the mature one. He hates people invading in his private life. Shoto doesn’t have time for anything else except for training and his mother, Rei Todoroki.

The only woman Shoto ever loved is his mother, until he saw you.

Now, coming onto the real topic. It’s pretty clear that possessiveness runs in the Todoroki clan.

Meeting you was a coincidence. Shoto could still perfectly recall how he was a hero in training and you bumped into him during one of his sessions.

Even though, todoroki hated getting distracted while training but you became an exception, slowly.

I see Shoto as a very obsessive and emotionally unstable Yandere. He’s weak when it comes to expressing what he feels. Shoto is honestly the type to cry his eyes out when you’d threaten to leave him.

He’d be on his knees begging you to forgive him, you’d often wake up to him between your legs, in an awkward position cuddling your belly as his cold tears fall on it, small apologies and how much he loves you and how he can’t live without you, come out of his mouth. His strong hands gripping your back tightly as if you’d disappear if he let go.

Todoroki has always been a blushing and stuttering mess in front of you. Before actually having you to himself, he’d try to deny his sick infatuation with you. Inside he longs for you so desperately that it’s so visible to his mother and sister.

After a few days from your encounter with him. It wasn’t anything serious. But it took todoroki’s heart into a frenzy of feelings.

He found himself blushing madly when the thought of your body on him ran through his mind. The way your pretty eyes refused eye contact with him left him absolutely love sick.

You had taken everything away from Shoto, his heart and his sleep. Todoroki couldn’t even get a blink of his keep because whenever he closed his eyes, your beautiful face came into the view.

Love sucked. Because it left him feeling completely weak. Oh how his heart shaked in his chest whenever he saw you laughing with Izuku.

Even though the sweet sound of your laugh soothes him but the way you looked at him with so much adoration angered him to no limits.

He boxed daily to take out his anger. He wanted his heart to stop burning. His chest felt heavy, he got tired of crying every night when the thoughts of you and Deku together crossed his uneasy mind.

As much as todoroki hated his fire quirk. He felt thankful for it? because now he had you in his clutches, after so many months of longing and crying for you.

Now you were bonded to him, with his ring in your finger. Forever.

“My pretty pearl, you look so beautiful all chained up like this, I could look at you forever! How can you be this ethereal?” Todoroki trailed, his tone was dreamy. His eyes stayed on you like you were the most precious art piece in the entire universe.

His mono coloured eyes were full of obsession. The way they trailed on you made your stomach twirl in discomfort. You had never seen him so crazy like this before.

“S-Shoto please stop this! You’re s-scaring me!!” You cried for the second time but your cries fell on deaf ears. Closed your eyes to calm yourself down. But regret filled your senses.

You should’ve known better, you should’ve known that Shoto was sensitive. You knew he feared you leaving him.

One thing you should know about Shoto is that he absolutely fears you leaving him. It pierces him. But you just complimented Izuku’s impressive skills? What’s wrong with that?

A sob brought you back to reality as your eyes opened to see Shoto on the floor crying. Your heart fell.

“Y-Y/N!! Y-You don’t l-love me anymore. I-I’m not worthy of you! Y-You’re going to leave me!!”

This is just an example of his paranoia of you leaving him. He can go from a 0 to a 1000 in a matter of seconds.

Todoroki is also very very caring and romantic. He loves to cuddle you and make you feel like the most beautiful person.

“My Queen is so pretty! I’m the luckiest man in the world!!” “My baby is so sweet and cute! Ah! I could kiss you all day!!” “Mooom! Please leave Y/N now! It’s my turn!” “I’m so lucky to have you, my precious!” “W-Wow Y/N you are a goddess!” “How do you look so pretty even when you cry!?”

What unsettles you though, is his obsessive gaze and whenever you ask him about the fire in your building which he saved you from. He always dodges the question. He almost looks so scared,

Todoroki is probably the most caring Yandere in bnha after Midoriya Izuku. Todoroki’s biggest fantasy is you becoming his wife and having a little family of his. Only with you.

Shoto loves to coo at you.

Another fact is that he stares at you when you’re sleeping, all night.

Shoto considers you as the biggest blessing in his life. You are his everything. His world revolves around you. He’s so obsessed with you.

Slightest things you do also arouse him. His little fantasies have grown into such deep, dark desires that it scares him. He worships the ground you walk on.

He steals the littlest things you own as a souvenir of you. They remind him of you.

He’s probably the stalker type. Very much protective of you too. You’re his queen and he’s your slave.

He’s a devotee to you. He’s probably the epitome of the most ideal Yandere. He can’t even imagine in his wildest dreams of hitting you.

You deserve the world at your feet.

Todoroki also has a whole pile of albums of pictures of you. He loves to stare at you.

Your lips are heaven for him. He worships your body. He thinks of you as his rock. You’re his biggest motivator. You’re his salvation. With you, todoroki just switches.

His darkest days turn into the happiest when he’s laying in your lap. God, your hands feel heaven for him. Your touch is so soothing.

He’s lost without you, he’s a really sweet and caring boyfriend too. He’d massage you so you can feel relaxed.

Your insecurities ruin him absolutely. He’d spend days and days complimenting you even more if it’s possible. A goddess shouldn’t underestimate herself.

You’re his biggest strength and weakness and his father takes advantage of that.

And it works too.

Todoroki Shoto doesn’t like to hide anything from you. How can he? What if you leave him? No he can’t risk that!

Well, except for telling you the truth about the fire incident.

Like I said before, he can't risk of losing you. Ever.

[janeaudron]

Update: Electric Boogaloo 2 - Health and Other Updates

Sorry silly title, but need to cheer myself up. Putting a “read more” since this may be long.

For those concerned only about dice, just highlight “ Dice Time ” (minus quotes) and you should be in that section.

Also for the  tl;dr folks - Health really sucks right now and is disabling me from living/doing just about everything.

So it’s been a rough for months to year(s) for me. I’m doing better from getting really sick a few months ago and then the sudden kidney infections a few weeks after getting better. But my main health issue right now is everything related to my back and the muscles associated with and around it. Kinda feel like it’s getting worse but that may be me letting it get to me...

I usually try not to bring up my health issues too much but this one is affecting just about everything I’m doing to a great degree and it’s been driving me nuts. Why I just have long breaks of inactivity now. Also family issues(MORE HEALTH) but I want to keep that private.

Don’t know what is wrong but something constantly has my left side tight and also sometimes my hips and rib cage get tight. Right around my left shoulder blade down to my mid back/lower ribcabe is constantly hurting, but mostly feels sore. So with this constant pain it makes it just about impossible for me to do things for short or long periods of time. Also it makes sleeping a pain. It’s just a pain that eats at you mentally and physically.

Oh added bonus, whatever is wrecking my back also wrecks my digestive track! I am just a ball of health issues right now.

I’m glad my job has been understanding and has allowed me to reduce my hours, but I feel like I’m still struggling to meet the reduced hours with how bad some days can get where I just can’t operate.

This pain is also holding me back from doing any art as I just can’t sit or stand comfortably to work for a few hours. It’s been disheartening to say the least. Depressing really as I’ve got a folder of wips I want to finish and my board game idea is just staring at me. Done more writing/mechanics progress to a point with that but no true art due to pain killing all motivation.

Which is extra annoying since I thought I was going to finally have time to get my Ko-Fi/Patreon going for the board game development and other stuff. But if I can’t produce art and other content at a decent pace, I don’t feel comfortable having those up. Just finished finalizing all the details and tiers too. >:(

Currently working with my doctors to try and figure out what is going on, but no luck so far. Back adjustments help but are so temporary it’s frustrating. I’m doing all sorts of stretches and especially try not to undo the adjustments but they barely last a week before the pain is back and occasionally it’s worse. Also trying to adjust how I currently work and that’s had little to mild results. May try to get a split keyboard sometime in the future.

-------------

Fan Blog

Yeah chapter updates and other content will be on hold for awhile. Have mild bouts were I can do some writing but still not a lot of writing.

I may have a few solo fics I may be posting soon-ish.

-------------

Dice Time - Rather short update here.

So dice production stopped when I got really sick a few months ago, but it’s back up and running. Though running slow when you take in account of all the info above about my health. For the tl;dr folks - Health really sucks and is disabling me from living/doing stuff.

Have some unfinished sets(matte and shiny) that I need to sand to a finished state but that’s going to take awhile.

If y’all don’t mind me posting raws for sale for some time just let me know. 

Also have a bunch of unfinished misfits(fine just no full sets) and then mishaps/flawed dice that I need to figure out how I want to sell. Thinking of doing it mystery box or bag style for those.

And have to remake a few molds when I can get some more silicone(it will be awhile with everything going on.) Had some numbers tear and then some surfaces got a bit weird. Don’t know what happened to cause some weird surface textures. Funs of moldmaking.

[musette22]

You Make My Heart Skip A Beet

You Make My Heart Skip a Beet

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes (Stucky)

Word count: 3.8k

Rating: Teen and Up

A/N: Based on this lovely prompt by @greyhoundsgirl​. I have to be honest here, I’ve never actually seen Top Chef though so I thought it would be safer to make up a new fictional amateur cooking competition which I’ve titled Chef Wars :p 

No warnings to speak of, apart from maybe for awful food puns, but it is a bit of a cracky piece, and it’s in Sam POV (poor guy). Hope you enjoy!! 💗 Huge thanks to the amazing @rainbowsandcoconut​ for brainstorming, food puns and awesome beta’ing, as usual 😘

Read on AO3

Summary:

“I made soda bread.”

Steve lets out the 6’2” supersoldier equivalent of a squeak. “Oh, I love soda bread,” he says eagerly, rolling forward on the balls of his feet like he does when he gets excited. “My mom used to make it all the time when I was growing up.”

The tips of Barnes’s ears turn red, and he mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “I know.”

****************************

When Sam and Steve had first been approached about being guest judges on an Avengers-themed special of Chef Wars, they’d spent a full fifteen minutes jumping around the common room in the Tower like a pair of overgrown kids on a sugar high.

Guest judges. On Chef Wars.

It so happens that Sam and Steve watch Chef Wars religiously. In fact, Steve even mentioned this in passing in one or two of his more recent interviews when asked how Captain America likes to spend his downtime, which is probably how the show’s executives had thought to invite them in the first place.

Sam’s love for cooking and cooking shows was passed down to him by his mother Darlene, and he, in turn, passed it on to Captain America – though if you’d told ten-year-old Sam that, he would’ve thought you were nuts. Poor Steve isn’t exactly the culinary sort of guy himself, but once Sam started turning up on his doorstep three nights a week to keep him company and make sure he didn’t sink further into depression, he’d slowly started to enjoy the shows Sam insisted on watching with him. Sam figured the familiarity of the actions and the low stakes of an amateur cooking competition would be perfectly suited to someone trying to integrate into a new century, while still being just exciting enough to hold the attention of an adrenaline junkie like Steve.

And he was right. So now, every Thursday night, the two of them chill on Steve’s couch, yelling at the TV and pretending they‘d do a better job of it than the contestants. Which, to be fair, Sam probably would, but Steve decidedly would not. What Steve lacks in culinary skills, though, he more than makes up for with his crazy supersoldier metabolism, rivaled only by the Other Guy and sometimes Thor, once he’s cracked open the mead. Steve can eat, and he does so with relish.

So needless to say, when they got the invite, they’d both jumped at the chance. Who wouldn’t, when presented with the opportunity to do the thing they did every Thursday night for funsies, but this time for realsies? And after weeks of giddy anticipation, today is finally the day.

Filming day.

The whole thing had gotten off to an excellent start. The sun was shining, Steve had actually been whistling on their way to the studio instead of nervously drumming his fingers on the dashboard (something which got on Sam’s nerves like nothing else), and they’d been offered some quality Italian espresso when they arrived. The show got on the road as soon as they’d gotten a quick tour of the studio, and after lights, camera, action, the contestants were introduced one by one.

There is Bernadette, a Missouri housewife who turned out to be somewhat of a BBQ expert and who reminds Sam of his Aunt Jenna; there’s Bob, a big, burly dude from Kentucky who wouldn’t look amiss on a Pro Wrestling show but who ends up surprising them all with a surprisingly delicate edible flower-dish dedicated to his lovely wife; and Yulia, a tiny, fierce girl from Bulgaria with some mean knife skills who Sam suspects could very well be a distant relative of Natasha’s.

And then there’s Bucky Barnes.

Bucky Barnes is a thirty-one-year-old physical therapist from Brooklyn who’s looking to change careers and get into the restaurant business full time. He has that whole hipster vibe going on: long, meticulously conditioned chestnut hair in a messy top knot, designer stubble, sleeve of – admittedly awesome – tattoos on his left arm. His cool, blue eyes and sharp cheekbones give him a model-like appearance, and yet there’s something soft and disarming about him.

Steve certainly seems to think so, at least.

The moment Barnes came walking through those glass doors, Sam heard Steve suck in a sharp breath at his side. A quick glance at Steve’s slack-jawed expression told Sam all he needed to know, since the dude is about as subtle as a sledgehammer. He’d elbowed Steve in the side until he looked over and pretended to wipe some drool from the corner of his mouth. Steve’s eyes went wide as he hastily mirrored the movement, missing the joke by about fifty yards. Oh, boy.

From that moment onward, Steve’s brain seemed to have gone through a blender, turning it into a rainbow smoothie – which was pretty unfortunate, considering they were going to have to interact with the contestants in a way that was suitable for daytime television.

The thing is, Steve is not exactly what you’d call a people person at the best of times. He’s fine with someone he’s known for a while and feels comfortable with, but with strangers he’s just… a little awkward. Credit where credit’s due, Steve is one of the most loyal, sweet, funny and whip-smart guys Sam has ever known – and let’s not forget stubborn as hell – but he’s also very, very bad at social cues. It’s not his fault, of course. Steve had gone from growing up pretty isolated without any real friends to speak of, to suddenly spending years surrounded only by his army buddies, which wasn’t at all representative for how normal people interacted with each other (Sam knows this from experience).

While Steve’s many social faux-pas are an endless source of entertainment for Sam, he’s not a total asshole, and he has tried to help Steve practice his social skills. Unfortunately, giving him well-meaning advice like “just be yourself” seems to be a sure-fire way to ensure Steve will put his foot in his mouth somehow.

That’s why Steve prefers to put on his Cap persona for public interactions. When he’s Captain America instead of Steve Rogers, all he has to do is look commanding and sort of friendly and say bland things like “I’m very happy to be here” and “You did well, son” and no one would be any the wiser that beneath that righteous exterior, Steve was floundering and wondering when he could reasonably leave whatever social engagement Pepper had sweet-talked him into attending, and head home to the comfort of his armchair and his sketchbook.

For today’s engagement, Steve had wisely adopted this approach as well, and the fact that he was genuinely excited to be there helped to loosen him up a little – so really, it should’ve all been fine.

But then Bucky Barnes from Brooklyn walked into the room and turned his big, blue eyes in Steve’s direction, and Steve promptly seemed to forget who or what a Captain America even was.

So far, Steve has already missed his cue twice, and it’s taken Sam stepping on his toes to get him to focus. To be fair, though, Steve puts in a valiant effort to pull himself together, managing to ooh and aah in all the right places when talking to the other candidates – sheer dumb luck, if you ask Sam. But as Steve’s best friend and confidante, Sam sees right through it. He hasn’t missed the way Steve’s gaze keeps drifting in Barnes’ direction, and coupled with the blush creeping up the back of Steve’s neck whenever Barnes’s eyes meet his, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that Cap has got himself a Manhattan-sized crush.

Now, most people probably aren’t aware that Captain America is also attracted to men, but Sam has a feeling that by the end of this episode, that cat will be most definitely out of the closet. Steve’s never purposely hid his sexuality; it was more of a question of it never having come up yet. It sure as hell has come up now.

And what makes this even better is that Barnes is just as bad. He stuttered his way through his introduction, very obviously starstruck at meeting Captain America, but also very obviously gay as hell for him, if the way his eyes lingered on Steve’s chest and thighs is any indication. Sam, for his part, is incredibly amused by it all. Not only does he get to be on the set of his favorite cooking show, he also gets to rib Steve, throwing in as many food puns as he possibly can – most of which go over Steve’s head because he’s too busy drooling over Barnes. Sam’s wit is wasted on his friends.

Then, it’s time to judge. In the first round, the contestants are supposed to make something which represents why they got into cooking in the first place.

Sam can feel Steve practically vibrate with nerves at his side as they walk up to Barnes’ station. Feeling magnanimous, Sam decides to have mercy on his muscly pal and take the lead on this one.

“Mr. Barnes,” he says, giving Barnes an encouraging smile. “Tell us about your dish, if you please.”

“Call me Bucky,” Barnes says, returning the gesture with a quick quirk of his lips.

Next to him, Steve repeats the name in a whisper, most likely unaware that he’s even doing it.

Sam has to bite down on the inside of his cheek to keep from smirking.

*****

Bucky’s confessional

“I grew up in Brooklyn, as the eldest of five kids. My dad left when I was fifteen, and while I was still in school, my mom had to work three jobs to provide for us all. She wasn’t home much, so it was kind of up to me to make sure dinner was on the table most nights.”

Bucky plucks at the seam of his black skinny jeans, lost in thought. “I think that’s why my specialty is comfort food. Nothing unnecessary, just hearty, nutritious food, y’know?” With a tilt of his head, he adds, “Although since all my siblings moved into their own places I’ve been cooking mostly for myself and my cat, so I’ve been experimenting with adding some twists to my tried and tested recipes.” He laughs, right hand clasping the back of his neck in a bashful gesture. “I’ve had… mixed success. Luckily Alpine has loved all of it. She’s my cat.”

“My first dish today is Irish soda bread with sage butter and Himalayan sea salt,” Bucky continues. “Bread was something we could never have enough of in our household. Five growing kids, y’know? And also, um...” A slight blush creeps its way onto Bucky’s cheeks, his eyes flitting around nervously. “Well, I guess you could say I used to be a bit of a history nerd growing up. I was super interested in World War II, particularly, uh, Captain America.” His blush deepens, spreading upwards from the neckline of his white t-shirt to the tips of his pierced ears.

“I, uh, I basically read every Steve Rogers biography I could get my hands on, which is why I learned to make things like soda bread because, y’know, Steve Rogers was Irish. Is Irish,” he corrects himself. Bucky’s eyes glaze over, taking on a faraway look. “Man, I couldn’t believe it when Cap was found a few years ago,” he marvels, “and alive. I don’t think I slept for a week after I found out.” He stares into space for a moment before shaking himself. He clears his throat, eyes refocusing on the person behind the camera. “Anyway, so when I heard that Chef Wars was doing an Avengers-themed special, I immediately applied because Steve – Cap, I mean- Captain America. Um. Yeah, so Cap mentioned in a few of his interviews that he watches Chef Wars, so I figured there would be a good chance he’d be watching this one too, you know? And then I got the email that I’d been selected and that he was going to be the one judging us, and I just…” Bucky trails off, looking a little faint, the blood draining from his face as quickly as it had risen.

“God, I just can’t believe I’ll finally get to see him in the flesh.” His eyes widen. “In person, I mean," he hastily amends. "And I’m excited about my dishes too, of course. I really hope Cap will like them. And the Falcon. Him, too. Yeah.”

*****

“I made soda bread.”

Steve lets out the 6’2” supersoldier equivalent of a squeak. “Oh, I love soda bread,” he says eagerly, rolling forward on the balls of his feet like he does when he gets excited. “My mom used to make it all the time when I was growing up.”

The tips of Barnes’s ears turn red, and he mutters something that sounds suspiciously like, “I know.”

When Steve puts a piece of bread into his mouth and chews slowly, he sniffs, eyes turning a little watery. “It tastes exactly like my mom’s,” he says in a hushed voice, sounding like he can’t quite believe his taste buds. Sam pats Steve’s back consolingly, before scooping up some sage butter with his own piece of bread and taking an enthusiastic bite.

“Hmm, nice,” he says, giving Barnes an appreciative nod. “And the butter? You make that yourself, too?”

“You butter believe it,” Barnes replies, then immediately looks horrified, like he can’t believe he made a pun that bad on national television.

Sam cackles, holding out his fist for Barnes to bump. When Barnes has recovered enough to return the gesture with his left hand, Steve stares longingly at their touching hands, before letting his gaze trail over the tattoos on Barnes’ exposed forearm. Since he's not exactly subtle about it, Barnes catches him looking and gives Steve a tentative smile when their eyes meet. Steve chokes on absolutely nothing and launches into an impromptu coughing fit. “Crumbs,” he wheezes, thumping a massive fist on his massive chest, “wrong pipe.”

Sam just smirks at him, before turning back to Barnes. “That was delicious,” he tells him. “Can’t wait for your next dish, man.”

“Really, really, good,” Steve chimes in once he’s caught his breath. “Well done, Bucky.”

Barnes goes as red as a tomato, eyes trained on the floor as he awkwardly shifts from foot to foot. “Thank you, Captain.”

“Steve, please,” Steve implores.

Barnes bites his lip, looking up at Steve through his lashes. “Thanks, Steve.”

Sam's pretty sure Steve stops breathing altogether right then. Christ, it’s like there’s an electrical current running between the two of them, the air crackling with it. Thunderbolts and lighting, very very nauseating.

Sam claps his hands. “Right,” he says loudly, “moving on to the next contestant now… Yulia, what have you prepared for us?”

*****

By the time the second round rolls around, Steve has had a series of meltdowns and Sam has spent precious time he could’ve been exploring the set and taking pics for his mom on talking Steve out of a bathroom stall. Damn, he’s a good friend. It takes all of Sam’s VA-honed therapist skills to convince Steve that he’s doing fine, he’s not embarrassing himself, and no one but Sam has noticed Steve’s massive heart boner for Barnes yet. Sam actually isn’t entirely positive about that last one – or the first two for that matter – but Steve doesn’t need to know that. There are still two rounds to go.

In the second round, contestants are asked to make a dish that represents who they are as a person.

While the contestants are cooking up a metaphorical storm, Sam and Steve walk around their stations to chat with everyone some more, camera crew on their heels. Steve manages to get out at least three complete sentences, and Bernadette and Bob are too in awe of him to notice the few times he says something that doesn’t actually make any sense. Yulia has given no indication that she even knows who either of them are, and Sam can practically feel the relief radiating off of Steve. He guesses that’s part of why he and Natasha get on so well.

When they round on Barnes’ station, Barnes has just started seasoning his dish. There’s a checkered dishcloth slung over his right shoulder and a focused look on his face, which turns into one of low-key stress the moment he spots Steve and Sam coming towards him. Leaning his hip against the counter, Sam settles in to watch Steve make a fool of himself. He's not disappointed.

“Wow,” Steve says inanely, gesturing in the direction of Barnes’ hands. “That’s- you’re- you’re really good at that.”

Barnes pauses his turning of the peppermill to give Steve a slightly panicked look. “At… grinding?”

At Steve’s strangled cough, Barnes seems to realize what he just said, his bewildered expression morphing into one of abject mortification. The poor guy looks like he’d very much like the ground to swallow him whole right about now.

Honestly, these two deserve each other.

When they've finished chatting to everyone and it’s time to taste, Barnes is asked to explain his dish and how it represents him. He seems to have pulled himself together somewhat since their last encounter, his stance a little more confident now and his eyes only drifting to Steve’s pecs every other sentence.

“I’m a simple guy,” he tells them, somehow managing to make it sound genuine instead of cliché. “I enjoy the little things in life. I like taking care of people, making them feel good and comfortable, and I think that’s reflected in my cooking. I enjoy making comfort food, the hale and hearty stuff.” He licks his lips, meaningfully adding, “Although, don’t get me wrong. I do indulge occasionally. I’ve got my guilty pleasures same as everyone else, y'know?” That last part is directed at Steve, who nods dazedly, like he knows exactly what Barnes means. Gross.

“So I guess you could say you’re just… arugula guy?” Sam grins, cheerfully ignoring the growing sexual tension.

Barnes stares at him for a beat, and then snorts. “You know what?” he says, returning Sam's grin, “the s’more I get to know you, the s’more I like you.”

Sam has a very real moment where he thinks he might actually fall in love with this guy himself. It’s only Steve’s doe-eyed look that keeps him from proposing to Barnes there and then. Okay, and maybe the fact that Barnes is clearly smitten with Steve, and also Sam is straight and very happily dating Nat, who would not hesitate to gut him if he decided to elope with some pasty hipster dude.

Barnes’ dish – mac and cheese with black truffle and locally sourced cheeses and fancy cuts of bacon – is mouthwateringly good, and Sam tells him as much. Using appropriate words to do so. You know, like a normal person.

Steve, on the other hand, moans loudly around his bite and then, mouth still full, he blurts, “That’s exactly what I thought you’d taste like.”

In the painfully awkward silence that follows, Steve and Barnes blush so hard the combined heat of their flaming cheeks could probably power most of New York City. This time, Sam can’t contain his laughter. He crows as he gleefully slaps his thighs, and even some of the crew is hiding having a hard time staying professional in the face of such blatant dumbassery.

Shaking his head, Sam grabs Steve by the bicep and herds him towards the backroom. “Come on, Casanova,” he says. “Let’s get you some ice for those burns.”

*****

For dessert, Barnes goes all out.

He actually makes Captain America cake pops, shaped and decorated like Steve’s shield with blue, red and white frosting. Steve’s eyes almost bug out of his head when he sees them. Barnes explains how they’re “sort of an adult version” of normal cake pops, which makes Sam raise an eyebrow. He’s been on the internet. He unfortunately has seen adult versions of all kinds of Captain America paraphernalia. Fortunately, Barnes just means that his cake pops have some sort of liquor in the center, “for a punch, you know?”

The starry-eyed look Steve gives Barnes clearly conveys just how clever he thinks that is, and Sam surreptitiously rolls his eyes. No game whatsoever, either of them.

“I’ve never had a cake pop before,” Steve says, carefully picking up one of the treats and inspecting it curiously.

“Oh,” Barnes says, blinking at him. “Well, normally you’d eat them in one go, but these are a bit bigger than usual because of the shape of the shield, so you probably won’t be able to fit -”

The rest of his sentence sort of peters off into a stunned silence as Steve proceeds to stick a whole-ass giant cake pop in his mouth in one go, letting out an appreciative grunt as he chews and then swallows.

Barnes’s mouth goes slack. “Oh my god,” he breathes, his eyes glazing over, and Sam cracks up. Again.

The cake pops are actually surprisingly good, despite their garish (sorry, Steve) appearance, and then it’s time to retreat and deliberate. As was to be expected, Steve has a crisis of conscience.

“I can’t vote for him just because he made my mom’s soda bread and he practically raised his baby sisters by himself and he cooks for his cat and he has pretty eyes, Sam!” he laments, voice muffled into his massive forearms. Sam makes the filming crew promise not to air this bit. It takes some doing, but finally Sam manages to convince Steve that Barnes’s food was simply the best. Better than all the rest. He even does a little Tina impression to get his point across, and that seems to do it.

When they announce the winner, Barnes smiles so wide it transforms his whole face and makes Steve melt into a puddle of Gü.

Sam has to nudge Steve again to get him to say his line, since he’s too busy mooning over Barnes to notice the autocue changing. “Ah, yes!” Steve says loudly. “First prize is a substantial sum of money, sponsored by Tony Stark, which we hope will go towards opening your own restaurant–"

“… and a weekend stay at Avengers Tower, also sponsored by Tony!”

Steve’s head whips around to him in surprise. Sam winks at him. “Including a private tour of the premises by none other than Captain America himself. Isn’t that right, Steven?”

A beat of silence, and then Steve.exe starts back up. "Right,” he nods, drawing out the word. “Yes. That’s right.” Sam pats his arm. Good man.

Stepping forward, Steve takes Barnes’ hand and shakes it slowly. “Congratulations, Bucky. I look forward to seeing you again soon," he says, adding, after a quick, bracing inhale, “and maybe when you visit, I can make my mom’s stew for you? If- if you like?”

Sam feels a surge of pride. Look at Steve go, being something almost in the vicinity of smooth.

Barnes laps it up, beaming at Steve. “I’d really love that,” he says in a low voice, still holding Steve's hand. “I’m sure you’re delicious.” His eyes widen. “It’s delicious. The stew – not- not-" Abruptly, Barnes stops babbling, then seems to come to a decision. “Oh, fuck it,” he mutters, and pulls Steve towards him, crashing their mouths together in a scorching kiss.

Over the noise of the assembled crowd's whoops and cheers, Sam gleefully calls, “And that, my friends, is a wrap!”

[jenonctcity]

No Nut November - Jeno

Lee Jeno – Smut, Crack, Fluff

Warnings: Explicit content, a lot of mentions of penis’s, dirty talk, unprotected sex (be safe everyone!).

Word Count: 3.3k

Summary: 00’s line take part in No Nut November.

The Rules of No Nut November:

You cannot have sex, masturbate, or nut in any way, shape, or form.

Watching pornography and having boners are allowed, but you can’t nut.

You are only allowed one wet dream. If you have more than one, then consider yourself out.

You do not have 3 strikes; you only have one shot at it. If you miss it, you’re out.

 If you have passed the month with a total of 0 nuts, you are a victor and you shall qualify for Destroy Dick December (Not Recommended).

Look man, just don’t nut in 30 days. 

Series

 As you scrolled through twitter, you came across a hashtag that confused you at first. But upon exploring the hashtag, you came to an understanding of what #NoNutNovember was. You also ended up cackling at the memes you’d found. Jeno sat beside you in your apartment and didn’t even bat an eyelid at your laughing, used to you finding random things on the internet that would spur on giggle fits.

“Babe look at this!” You elbowed him to gain his attention, thrusting your phone into his face with a grin still etched on your own.

“No Nut November...?” He raised an eyebrow, taking your phone from you and scrolling down the hashtag’s contents himself. “I could do that.” He shrugged, passing your phone back. You furrowed your eyebrows at him and let out a bark of a laugh.

“No you couldn’t.” You were 99.9% sure that your boyfriend wouldn’t even make it 3 days without trying to stick his penis inside of you.

“I could!” He sounded offended that you didn’t believe in his will power to not orgasm in 30 days. You both stared at each other, waiting to see who was going to cave and speak first. You smirked at him, biting your bottom lip and giggling almost evilly at him.

“Do it then.” You challenged him, raising your eyebrows once at him and continuing to smirk. His face fell momentarily, he didn’t actually think you’d have the balls to challenge him, so he was shocked and also worrying slightly about not having sex for the next month.

“Fine.” He said through clenched teeth, forcing a smile to mirror your own. “Easy.”

“Good luck Mr Lee.” You leaned over and kissed his cheek, letting your lips linger on his soft skin. You thought about not having sex for a month and sighed, realising you stitched yourself up with this because not having Jeno’s dick for a month was a disappointing thought, but the competitiveness you felt spurred on your next words. “I can do it to.” You shrugged like it was nothing, leading him to smirk back at you.

“Whoever lasts longer wins.” He held his hand out to you and you shook it firmly. “Loser has to give the winner oral and do whatever they want in bed.”

“Deal. May the best person win.”

 Day 3:

You and Jeno laid beside each other on the bed, both of you on your backs and staring absentmindedly at the ceiling. You let out a sigh, bored out of your mind as you stared at the same discoloured mark on the ceiling, you furrowed your eyebrows as you thought, how did that get there and what the hell even is it? Jeno sighed beside you, just as equally bored as you.

“Is that a cum stain?” You asked suddenly, no longer being able to stay silent in your curiosity.

“Is what a cum stain?” He glanced at you, following your train of eyesight back to the ceiling, but not noticing the mark.

“That mark.” You pointed up at the ceiling lazily. “There.” He tilted his head, letting out a sound of acknowledgement as he noticed the mark, humming as he thought about it.

“Could be, I’m not sure.” He shrugged. “Most the time I cum on you or in you so I don’t know how it got there if it is cum.”

“Good point…” That marked the end of your conversation, silence ensuing for another 10 minutes before Jeno piped up.

“We could be having sex right now you know…” He followed his words with a bored, fed up sigh.

“We could be yeah…but we aren’t going to…are we?” You both looked at each other, him giving you a smirk and raking his eyes down your body and back up to give you a sultry look. You narrowed your eyes at him, turning to look away before you caved in and mounted him.

“Not unless you give in, because I’m not going be the first to initiate it!” He leaned over, getting closer to you and letting his breath wash over your neck, a shiver shooting down your spine.

“Well neither am I!” You rolled away from him quickly, putting distance between you both and frowning at him. “I guess we could make out though?” You suggested, immediately missing the contact with him. He grinned, nodding fast and you were sure if he had a tail it would be wagging faster than an eager puppy about to go for a walk. You wasted no time in jumping into his arms, connecting your lips to his and moving them in perfect time together. The sweet kissing lasted for about 2 minutes before it turned filthy and desperate, tongues pushing together and his hands wondering down your back to grip at your ass. You purposely moaned into his mouth, knowing it’s something that really gets him going. Without hesitation you trailed your palms up his chest, your fingers tickling him over his t-shirt causing him to feel giddy, his stomach releasing a puff of butterflies through his bloodstream right down to his dick. You drew away from the kiss, letting him messily kiss down to your jaw and neck, his teeth nipping at your skin that felt a thousand times more sensitive than usual.

“Jeno we need to stop, remember our commitment to not nutting!” He groaned like he was about to start sobbing, resting his head back on the pillow and squeezing his eyes shut.

“I hate life.” He mumbled, rolling over onto his front and burying his head into his pillow in a sulk.

“Me too big boy.” You patted his back and giggled. “Only 27 days to go…”

 Day 8:

“Right I can’t take it anymore (Y/N)!” Jeno burst into your bedroom, tearing his shirt off in haste as he made his way over to you on the bed. You stopped in your tracks, your mouth open and sandwich nearly at your lips. “I need to have an orgasm; I think my balls are about to fall off!” You didn’t know that not orgasming in 8 days would make Jeno as dramatic as what it had, but he looked flustered and desperate.

“Erm…I don’t know if that’s even possible baby.” You shrugged, taking a bite of your sandwich as he plopped himself down on the bed beside you. His lips found their way to your neck, not wasting time in sucking tender bruises to your delicate skin.

“I don’t care.” He mumbled against you, licking a stripe up your neck to your jaw, a hand gripping at your thigh tightly in his desperation. “I need to be inside of you and if I’m not within the next 5 minutes, I might die.” You laughed loudly, shaking your head and batting his face away from you.

“Back off.” He whimpered at your rejection, a pout resting on his face making him resemble a kicked puppy.

“Why? This whole thing is stupid! What do we even gain from it?” He whined, hoping if he pushed you enough, you’d just get fed up of his begging and just spread your legs, giving him full access to your precious goods.

“Firstly, I am committed to this cause, and I’m stubborn, and competitive…and too proud to quit!” He rolled his eyes, tutting and giving you a dirty look. “Secondly, I’m on my period and my sheets are white.” He stayed silent, flopping onto his back on your bed and groaning.

“My poor penis…”

“Jeno Junior will live.” You very gently patted the bulge in his jeans.

“No, he won’t. Him and the twins are lonely.” You nearly spat your sandwich out at his analogy, finding it hilarious that he referred to his dick and balls as people.

“They have each other for company!” You laughed, slapping a hand down onto his naked chest in your amusement, not being able to control your giggles as you tried to swallow the mouthful of sandwich.

 Day 14:

“How are you holding up baby?” You ghosted your fingertip over his bare chest, your fingernail leaving a subtle red trail in its wake. You laid half on his chest; his arm wrapped securely around your waist as you stared at each other. Sometimes you couldn’t believe how lucky you were to be the one in his arms, your mind spinning at how beautiful his smize was, your brain completely in awe at him. He sleepily grinned at you, snuggling into your warmth and finding comfort in the fact you had on Disney pyjamas covering your chest, it being hard for him to get an erection over that.

“I’m okay, you know I actually think that we can last until day 30, I am proud of us.” He stared at your lips through half mooned eyes, wanting nothing more than to have his cock lodged between them. But he quickly steered his thoughts away from that, instead imagining his lips on your own.

“What are you staring at Lee Jeno?” You giggled, completely in love with him. He made your world light up, whenever the looming fear of negative emotions begin to pull you into a depressive mindset, he would be there pulling you out with his unfunny jokes and strong, loving hold. He felt the same way about you, his love for you a stronger feeling than anything he’d ever felt for anyone before.

“Kiss me…” He whispered lowly, his eyes still half open and his lips forming into a soft smirk.

“Are you trying to seduce me?” You giggled, a hand coming up to stroke his cheek, eyes following every pattern on his face, taking in every single detail enough for you to paint the most perfect picture of him.

“No.” With a shake of his head he cupped your hand with his own. “I’m just so in love with you.” You saw his eyes glisten over as the words left his pink lips, a gulp following as he looked up to try and deter the tears from forming in his eyes. You giggled, leaning your forehead to his quickly before pulling away to look at him again.

“It’s a good thing I’m so in love with you too then isn’t it.” At that, he let out a sob, feeling slightly embarrassed at his reaction to you both admitting your love for each other, despite having done it so many times before. “Aww Jeno don’t cry!” His hands came up to cover his eyes, soft sobs falling into the palms of his hands. Tears came to your own eyes as you watched him fall apart in front of you, you didn’t know what to do other than sit up and try to pull at his hands.

“I’m sorry.” With a shaky breath he let you take his hands into your own. A tear trailed down your cheek, his hand coming up and resting on your cheek, his thumb catching the tear and discarding it before it could roll off of your chin. He gulped to clear his throat of his emotions, his bottom lip shaking as he breathed in deeply, trying to recuperate and get a hold of himself. “I don’t know where that came from.” He chuckled bashfully, his cheeks a vibrant red.

“I think I know…” You leaned in slowly, hesitating with your lips a hairs width away from his own. Slowly brushing your lips against his, you smiled, before placing them gently on his own in a closed mouth kiss. His hands came up to rest on your back as you swung your leg over his hips, your hands laying on his chest as you slowly made the kiss more heated. You stayed like this for a while, just kissing and enjoying being in each other’s embrace, until you gently started to rock your hips against his. His hands slowly cascaded down to rest on your ass over your pyjamas, his big palms massaging the soft flesh and forcing your hips to grind into his. His cock started to grow hard, his mind buzzing from the tingling feeling you left behind on his skin with every touch, and his muscles wanting nothing more than to flip you over. You reluctantly sat back, hurrying to pull your pyjama shirt over your head and leaving your half naked. Jeno used this as an opportunity to roll you onto your back, his strong form covering your body and sending prickles of pleasure rippling to your clit when he bumped his hard bulge to your heat.

Jeno attached his lips to one of your nipples, giving it a strong suck before flicking his tongue against it. He stared up at you as he rolled his tongue over the hard nub, your hands lacing through his thick dark hair, tugging it as he caught your nipple between his teeth with a husky growl. He moved up to lick his tongue into your mouth, using one of his hands to hold himself up above you, and the other to push down his boxers. After that, he pushed down your pyjamas pants and hiked your legs up over his waist. He smiled down at you, kissing your cheek as gently as a butterfly would dare to touch you.

“Make love to me Jeno…” You gasped in a breathy moan as he very slowly lined his cock up, sliding it inside of your wet hole in a timid manner to avoid hurting you. A very fine spark of pain took your breath away momentarily, the stretch of his cock almost feeling foreign after not having experienced it in over 2 weeks.

“Am I hurting you honey?” He didn’t make a move after he’d filled you to the brim with his cock, your reaction scaring him to be frozen.

“A little, it’s been 2 weeks and nothing of a significant size has been up there.” You giggled nervously, trying to calm him and not wanting him to freak out and refuse to fuck you without taking ages to prep you first. You rubbed your hands over his back, smiling up at him before leaning up and pecking the tip of his nose with your warm lips. “I’m okay now.” You wiggled your hips and relaxed back against the plush pillows. He kissed your lips one more time before wrapped his arms around your body, lifting you from the bed slightly as he started to roll his hips into yours. “Mm just like that.” Soft whimpers left your lips as Jeno slowly started to make love to you. It felt different from all the times you’d both gone feral and fucked until one of you had at least ten bruises and once even mild concussion. The love you both felt for each other circled the air above your heads, almost suffocating you in it in the best way possible. You wanted to stay in his arms forever, being rocked into and feeling the igniting flames of pleasure coursing through your veins to set the fire alight in your stomach. He kept the perfect pace, tucking his head into the crook of your neck and gently biting onto the soft where your neck and shoulder met.  

“You’re so beautiful…I’m the luckiest man on earth.” It was rare that Jeno ever said anything sweet during sex. Usually he would say the filthiest words, knowing how it brought you closer to orgasm and would cause a flush of wetness to gush from you when he’d call you dirty names. But during this tender moment, his sweet words had the same effect on your body, the rush of butterflies you felt got singed in your stomach from the euphoric fire burning within. The sound of his skin slapping against yours got louder as he picked up the pace, keeping his thrusts hard and not letting his chest leave contact your own, the lower half of his body doing all the work.

“Jeno right there!” You gasped, his cock doing wonders inside your tight, soaking heat. You knew it wouldn’t be long before everything came crashing down onto you, all your thoughts being washed away with the fire.

“Wait hold on baby.” He grunted, sweat glistening on his forehead as he moved his arms to frame either side of your head, peeling his chest away from your own. You noticed how quick his chest was rising and falling and the way his abs flexed from working overtime to bring himself to the edge with you. “Cum with me.” He sat back onto his knees, dragging you by the thighs so you were as close to him as he could get, your head being pulled from the pillow onto the mattress. He gave it his all, thrusting his cock into your pussy as quickly as he could, reaching a new angle inside of you. The fire inside of you spark a huge flame throughout your body, your orgasm causing your eyes to close and mouth to hang open.

“Jeno!” You moaned loudly, reaching out for him with your eyes closed and feeling around blindly for him. He came inside of you after his hips became sloppy, stilling completely and screwing his face up with a hiss. His white cum painting your walls, which was something you didn’t let him do often, he always found it to be a treat when you’d let him cum inside you. He panted loudly, laying down over you and cuddling into you as he very slowly rocked his hips into yours a few more times to ride out his orgasm as your walls pulsed around him. You both laid still and in silence, basking in the afterglow even if it was unbearably hot with him on top of you. He chuckled quietly, turning his head to kiss your cheek with his lips lingering on your warm, flushed cheeks.

“I love you so much.” He whispered, smiling against your clammy skin. You could feel his heart beating through his chest, it very gradually slowing down as his breaths shallowed.

“I love you more.” You giggled, bringing your arms around his neck and turning your face to catch his lips with you own. “So…” You pulled away from his lips to smirk at him. “I won.”

“You did not!” You’d never seen him pulled away from your grip as quick as what he did in that moment, using his intimidating stare to look down at you as he sat back on his knees. “You instigated this! You kissed me first.”

“Because you were crying! Maybe you planned this out and used my soft, sensitive, caring nature to make me feel sympathy towards you!!” You sat up and folded your arms over your chest.

“As if I’d plan something as intricate as that out!” He laughed, sitting with his legs crossed on the bed, a shine on his skin from the sweat still lingering behind even after your intimate workout was finished. “Call it a draw? We both lost anyway.” He shrugged, finding your hand and lacing his fingers with yours, playing with your fingers as he waited for you to answer him. You sighed with a roll of your eyes, biting your bottom lip to supress a snigger from escaping.

“Fine!”

 No Nut November: Lee Jeno – Fail.

[newobsessionweekly]

Quarantine games🌿

a/n: someone asked for this, I hope I didn’t let you down. I honestly don’t know where that came from. I have a strange mind and even stranger imagination. So, enjoy! 🌿

warning: maybe language and some explicit stuff. word count: 2.305

Arón Piper x reader 🌿

There are so many things going on in the world right now that you can’t even keep the step up with them. First, Italy confronts with this virus-thing and then you heard numbers too big for you to understand. More than nine hundred of deaths in one day in Italy, those news gave you goosebumps. Then you heard the news about Spain having a bad situation as well. You’ve been carefully every time, but this couldn’t keep you inside for more than four days, otherwise you’d go nuts. So when your best friend, Miguel, called and said that he and some friends wanted a gathering to watch together the new season of Élite, you accepted immediately. Inside Jorge’s apartament in Madrid were nine people and a cat, and the place was almost overcrowded. Two episodes and thirteen songs later, the news about a total lockdown and Spain being closed, gathered you in front of the TV. You are not allowed to leave the house , except for emergencies so even if you tried, you couldn’t reached your apartament, is like in the opposite side of Madrid.

“It’s not a big deal, right? We can get over this together.” Jorge told you and it was an subtle invitation to stay over. And you did stayed. The truth is, you were afraid of this situation and you didn’t want to get through this alone. You weren’t the only one thinking like that so you decided to manage this situation together. Danna was supposed to fly back in Mexic to be with her family, but the flight was cancelled. 

 Though you knew this people before, staying so many days together, you got to know them even better, for example how are they in their private space. A few days later, you finished the last season of Élite and all the food in the apartament. Day five of quarantine bring a bore bigger than the Empire State Building. You slept almost all day and ate, ghosting here and there. Danna let you borrow some clothes from her luggage but today you only could find dresses and fancy clothes. 

“Can somebody borrow me a t-shirt or something?” Ester just washed the laundry and now you need to wait them to dry. You weren’t the only one who wasn’t prepared for so many days away from home, you packed, just in case, for three days. Miguel, Omar and Álvaro weren’t prepared as well, but gladely they could count on Jorge and Arón. The latter was supposed to go visit his father’s family in Germany, but his flight was cancelled as well so he got stuck with you.

“I think I still have some clean ones in my baggage. You can look and take anything you like.” Arón responded from the window frame. He smokes too much when he is bored. And drinks. It’s already the third beer and the night just started. But you don’t want to say anything because it’s none of your business. You must addmit he is the one that caught your attention since the day one. You stalked him on Instagram a few days ago, trying to find something about him, maybe some pictures with a girlfriend or anything, but it´s nothing much. He keeps his life privately and that’s a thing you admire most at him. 

Surprisingly, he has an ordonate luggage and you find rapidly a t-shirt. He had many from expensive brands. You loved one shirt from Monclair, and said “why not?”, he said you could take anything you like. You screamed “Gracias, Arón!” and went for a shower.          

----------

After a warm shower, the anxiety started to spread from your body. When you dressed Arón’s t-shirt, a strage feeling attacked you and made you stare at the image in the mirror. You are wearing a shirt that isn’t yours, is a hot boy’s shirt, which fits you strangely perfect. And this smell... the smell of his cologne haunted you these days, but now is closer than ever and you can enjoy it without raising question marks from anyone. However you wished you could smell it from Arón while he is hugging you. “Nonsense, I am getting nuts!” you thought. But this handsome man would help your fantasies only growing day by day. You shooked your head and walked out of the bathroom, just to found everyone sitting round the coffee table.   

“Finally, we thought you died inside and we were just tossing a coin to see who had to rescue you.”  Miguel laughed and made some space for you to sit next to him.

“Good choice, that one is my favourite!” Arón winked at you and took a sip from a cocktail. 

“Ah, lo siento, I didn’t knew! I can change it if you want.” you said quickly, panicked. He smiled at you and waved his hand as in “keep it”.

“So, the rules are simple. Truth or dare. You don’t make any of them, you receive a punishment, alright?” they decided to play this game to animate a little this flat. All day you almost ignored each other and it wasn’t a wise movement. The depression started to fill in and Jorge, because it was his idea to keep all of you there, was feeling responsable for you bad mood. You played Poker three nights in a row, then “Uno” and even “Activity”. You won at Poker and made Arón kinda mad, but unfortunately lost at the other ones. You and Miguel are not a good pair for games. Jorge spinned the empty beer bottle which pointed Álvaro.

“Aye, amigo, truth or dare?” Jorge smiled wickedly.

“Truth.” Álvaro’s response came and everyone mumbled “chicken” at him. He rolled his eyes and waited for a question.

“What scene did you like filming the most?”

“That sex scene in the pool with you and Georgina.” the answer came and the laughs didn’t waited to burst. Then Álvaro had to dare Mina. “Drink that beer from one sip.” And Mina didn’t think twice before she grabbed the bottle.

“Easy with the beers, alright? There are not many left!” Arón attentioned all of you.

“Sure, we ran out of food and you are worried about the beers.” you like very much to provoke him. Arón looked at you menacing. When Mina spinned, Omar picked the truth.

“What is the funniest memory you have from the set?”

“From season 3?” he asked and Mina approved. “Maybe the one when I was supposed to mime a blowjob and he couldn’t stop laughing. I was bouncing my head up and down for a damn take until I’ve literally got dizzy.” he pointed at Arón and laughed while accepted the middle finger. You tought for a minute, that middle finger is like a signature for him, is one of the many specific things for him. 

“You blame me for laughing but you made some funny sucking noises!” Arón defended himself and you laughed even louder. Despite the noises, Omar could hear Miguel when he chose dare and it wasn’t a great idea.

“Mime a sex scene with anyone in this room.” Omar spoken out the final verdict. Miguel picked you up, despite the fact that you refused to do that with him. You wear some kind of short jeans, but they looked more like underwear, so when Miguel made you bend on one of the countertops, you looked like you were naked. He put his hands on your waist and mimed the “in and out” move behind your back.

“Come on, (y/n), you have to moan to make it credible!” Miguel pinched your arm and that made you sceam. “Well, that wasn’t really a moan, but it was better than nothing!” you could hear everyone laughing behind your back. When the torture finally ended, you faced Miguel with anger.

“I hate you for this!” you said, but he just laughed and passed you so he can also spin the bottle. Arón had a strange look on his face. You didn’t know if it was embarrassment or anger or any other feeling, but something bothered him. The bottle stopped in front of Arón and he choses truth. “What are your top three turn-ons?” Miguel looked at you after he spoke and winked. “Puta mierda!” you thought. Now everyone would know something is going on with you. The truth is you have a crush on Arón and Miguel kinda figured it out. The way he smiles, the way he moves, the way he smokes, everything is so perfect at him. Beside the amazing look, he have a good heart too, he’s a funny one and you find yourself some things in common with him.

“Wearing matching lingerie, playing with my hair and maybe the smell of food cooking.” he answered and it heard some of them whistling while and you almost turned red like a tomato. You are a shy one and dirty stuff made you turn red like a tomato every time.

When the bottle pointed you, almost frozed. Someone out there hates you for some reason, you thought. Arón is the last person you would have wanted to ask you. He smiled wickedly at you, licked his lips and made you pick truth or dare. You choose truth, obviously. “Who here would you most like to make out with?” he asked. ¡Joder!, he’s good at it.

“Pure curiosity or you have something in mind?” you challenged him, smiling like a devil.

“Are you gonna answer that or you want to let me find the answer by myself?” he’s not yielding either.

“I’ll wait to see how long would it take you to find out.”

“Fine, dare. Let two people give you a wet willy at the same time.” you crossed the nose.

“¡Joder!, that is gross! No, absolutely not!” you shooked your head.

“Then you need a punishment, (y/n).” someone finally interrupted the stare contest you and Arón unknowingly held. You found out it was Jorge.

“A punishment given by whom?” you hoped from the bottom of your heart not to hear Arón’s name. Not this time.

“Arón. And you are not allowed to reject this one.” ¡Joder!, it was like the game was against you.

“Siete minutos en el cielo con mi.” the others watched you and Arón as you were a fascinating movie, no one came between you. You had to take some time to understand what he said. Seven minutes in heaven. Seriously? You are not sixteen anymore and you are not trying to have your first kiss. You rolled your eyes. You were convinced that he doesn’t stand you a bit, and now he’s asking you to lockup with him seven minutes to what? Maybe he wanted to tell you to go home. You haven’t really talked to him much and you didn’t know him, but you can say, watching him from distance, he is a great man. And that “bad ass” face and attitude he always shows up, it’s just a mask. You thought he is the sweetest person inside there, because he let you somehow see a little of that side. But you had so many question marks. For something you were sure, you had his attention like he got yours. You couldn’t get him off of your head and that drives you crazy.

“Fine, seven minutes in hell. Ah, perdona me, I wanted to say heaven.” you played pretend because you didn’t had any clue what the hell he have in that beautiful head and just at the thought about staying seven minutes only with him, in a small place, made your stomach hurt in a way it never did before. You followed him into the bathroom and then he locked the door behind you. You wasn’t expecting the bathroom to be this small, but him with his big worked out body, occupies a lot of space. Your mouth was dry and you literally couldn’t help but stare at his lips. If you were uncertain about the answer to that question he asked you, now you are a hundred percent sure he’s the one that turns you on.

“You know, I think I found the answer to that question.” maybe he figured out on his own, because maybe you didn’t know how to play pretend, or maybe around him you can’t control yourself.

“Oh yeah, what’s the answer then?” you looked him bravely in his beautiful brown eyes.

“I am the answer.” he approached and you could smell his cologne, or maybe it was just the t-shirt you’re wearing. “And if I’m right, and I’m pretty sure I’m right.” he leans towards you and whisperes in your ear: “Then maybe you wanna know the real answer to Miguel’s question”

“Why would I?”

“Because it’s you. For months you are the first one on my top three turn-ons list. And I think I’m not the only one here who feels this way.” as an answer to his unspoken question, you closed the distance between you with a kiss full of desire. He doesn’t waste any time and responded with as many passion as you put in that kiss. He grabbed you waist and pulled as close as possible. It was a slow one, like nothing outside didn’t matter anymore. Just the two of you, creating a new world. You pulled away from that kiss when you heard a knock on the door and Jorge’s voice.

“You know, I can even offer you my room if you want to, but don’t take away the bathroom, please!” you heard laughing coming from behind that door and felt your cheeks turning red. You looked at the man in front of you and tried to memorise all his beautiful features. He really admitted somehow he likes you, and you couldn’t stop that stupid smile spreading on your face.

[cvastals]

look i kno i said i wasnt gna bring a 6th until i was caught up w replies bt i kno gunner well n therefore felt like he deserved his time to shine in the rp so i beg of u pls plot w him looks at u all like :B

* axel auriant, cis man + he/him | you know gunner paxton, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, four years? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to bizarre love triangle by new order like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole curling up for days in bed wearing a hello kitty comfort shirt, stuttering in the face of affection, and hand me downs two sizes too big thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is july 31st, so they’re a leo, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( bri, 23, est, they/them )

background.

middle child of the paxton family, cliff being the eldest and wyatt being the youngest :D

they lived at the top of a hill in a trailer in a trailer park neighbourhood in laramie, wyoming so to say the least that fucking sucked for everyone involved

the trailer was so small that all 3 boys ended up sharing a room, gunner and wyatt sharing a bunk bed bc they cldnt fit 3 beds into one room it really was every childs nightmare bt they quickly grew used to it tbh

gunner was always more of an artsy child than invested in sports - though he does enjoy baseball and continued even to this day after their dad made him join SOMETHING in middle school - so he never rly earned their father’s respect, but he was always close with his mom since they had the same calm temperament

(depression/anxiety tw) he also gained a list of mental health issues that their mom had as well, including social anxiety and major depressive disorder

(violence/abuse tw) their father always encouraged pretty volatile behaviour and it caused a lot of physical fights and arguments between the brothers when their dad told them the best way to get over it was to start hurting until someone tapped out, it was just a chaotic and pretty abusive household but no one knew and their mom definitely wasn’t going to say anything about it to their dad

(missing child/kidnapping/anxiety/depression tw)  wyatt went missing on a weekend that their parents were gone because of a trip they won, and things just got worse from there, high school was really rough for gunner, his anxiety grew worse as time went on that no one found wyatt, their dad grew more hostile towards them, cliff left home in the middle of the night never to be seen again (merely leaving a note so that the family didn’t think they had a case of two kidnapped children), and their mom just grew sicker, it was rare that she would ever leave her room and if she did it was in fits of random energy where she would do something spontaneous and completely unnecessary to their house as a way of coping

the two years that gunner was at home after cliff left were pretty brutal and as soon as he could, he was fleeing wyoming and going to school in irving

(internalized homophobia tw)  things are far better now that he’s out of his home situation, but ofc he still has a few personal things he’s working thru; the paxton’s were raised in an incredibly religious household, and he’s got some classic Catholic Guilt going on upon realizing that he’s not jst attracted to women n he avoided talking abt it forever/stayed in the closet fr far too long bt he’s sort of come out now in his own way even tho he does still get a bit nervous talking abt it rly

he’s also ‘dealing’ rn (just pharmaceuticals) which is frankly funny to think abt bc this man is abt as threatening as a care bear bt money is tight all things considering and a librarian job doesn’t rly cover it, and with the amount of meds he’s on, plus incredibly frequent doctor’s visits, needing to pay for extra epi-pens, inhalers, etcs. bills add up so he’s cutting back his meds n selling wht he can spare which is . so unhealthy bt thts life in corporate america baybee!

details.

is literally allergic to everything. grass, cats, most fruits, milk, most nuts, bees, latex, probably more i cnt even keep up w them its pathetic

u can catch him strutting around town w his blinged out epipen holder (aka blinged out w pins of his fav horrors movies) LKSHDGKLHSKLDG

if things cldnt get worse he also has quite intense asthma so he carries an inhaler with him at all times

n to make matters even WORSE he frequently has dizzy spells n bad memory problems bc of all the concussions he’s suffered from (about 8-9 at this point) as well as consistent migraines that can b literally debilitating sometimes

awkward n jst a bit of a Weirdo to b frank like he barely knows how to converse with ppl

didnt have any friends in high school so took the time to teach himself rly weird things, knows a fuck ton of magic tricks, can yodel, juggle, solve a rubix cube with his eyes closed in under 30 seconds, just extremely weird and specific things

can honestly b a bit mean/barbaric to ppl he’s not close w/doesn’t kno - has told ppl to their face before he doesn’t enjoy talking to them bc he has no concept of social constructs/norms

loves 2 film random things at parties, makes him feel more comfortable at them n he makes short films of them all after

going off that fact he did a film internship in nyc during the summer and is trying to find a job in that field

doesn’t realize demisexuality is a thing so he’s never been that fond of sex but has this stigma in his mind that that makes him Broken so he still Tries n it jst doesnt go well tugs my shirt collar

connections.

ppl who r more into under the counter meds than Hard Drugs n buy off him?? probs wld have to kno him some way hes too scared to sell to Random randoms

ppl he went to school w? :D

some friends………. hes awkward bt he means well…………

ppl he has a crush on/unrequited crushes either way wtvr floats ur boat he crushes quite easily but never does anything abt it fr the most part

a mans he wld Risk It All fr (aka a guy tht he actually has a crush on n is Extra Awkward probs a lil mean to bc hes still New to That)

some enemies tbh, he has a temper n he tends to blow up rarely bt it happens n when it does it actually can b quite scary JKSHDGLHSDG

a muse….. mayhaps?? someone he always wants in his film projects

awkward past hook ups/one night stands where one of them cut ties off cuz every time they got together gunner acted like he was embalming a body for a funeral

current hook ups/fwb’s w ppl he’s actually close w/is comfortable w so its nowhere near as bad SDKHSLDGHKLSDGH

Anything u Desire

[willowaudreykeyes]

Monster AU Idea that I don’t know what to do with

Literally what the title says. Idk what to do with this, but its in my head and so i need to write it down and share it before my brain explodes. Talk about it or ask about it; whatever you want. As long as I know about it as it is still my idea, go nuts.

@ladyedwina @sparrowofsong

Warning: Does involve murder, being captured, lots of depressed Roman because I’m mean to him for no reason and it makes me sad, gory removal of fingers (not detailed but it is there), suicide mention, me swearing a lot, stabbing(not detailed), hints of Roceit; Intrulogical and qpr Pattmile

Spider Monster Who-Realises-That-His-Race-Sucks Virgil 

Born like this. Was raised to be alone but he likes being around others to feel safe, so it makes him a little awkward and even anxious around others.

Hates the rest of his kind because he’s the only one who doesn’t want to eat people. So now they all wanna kill him. 

He can retract his extra legs but it leaves small bumps in his back, so he likes to wear his over-sized hoodie to help hide them.

Janus saved him from one of his own kind. Travelled with him and Logan before getting separated by Monster Hunters and running into a lonely wolf-Patton.

Is now Patton’s spider child, despite the fact that said father figure is afraid of spiders. And that Virgil is technically older then him. He does try to look past the ‘too-many-eyes’ and ‘long, hairy legs’ thing; which Virgil appreciates.

The only one of the group that knows how mobiles work and he finds it funny as fuck.

Werewolf Underdog (ha) Patton 

Runt of the litter.

Can shift between a humany appearance, an actual grey-brown wolf and a bipedal werewolf. He isn’t the third one often and actually enjoys being a more typical wolf as he can be passed off as a wolf-dog hybrid and has gotten free bones and pets.

Ran away from his pack as they didn’t want him to die but also didn’t want him to get stronger, then raised a bunch of homeless orphans at a young age and also defended them from a trafficking ring by ripping out a bunch of people’s throats. 

Yeah... he brought them to an orphanage afterwards as it’s safer then the streets. Then he ran away again; at this point he’s only 15-16.

Lives alone and homeless for a few more years before running into Virgil and immediately adopting him. 

Patton helped Virgil find Janus and Logan so now he has more children (who are all older then him but he ignores that).

No one will go hungry EVER with Patton is around. He is the caretaker of this pack and he will not let his pups feel hungry ever- 

He’s not over how shitty his pack was to him and it’s very obvious.

When he meets Emile though, it lifts a lot of weight off his shoulders as he learns not to be so all-bearing of others issues. And he also feels safer talking to him about his old pack as he doesn’t want to be pitied by anyone.

Tired-As-Fuck Vampire Logan 

Who’s like 600 years old and knows that a lot of History that the modern day tells everyone is wrong and HATES that he’d be found out if he started yelling at people how wrong they are.

Parents wanted him to drop science and be a farmer. They, and his younger siblings, all died when their crops were poisoned two weeks after he moved out to do his science elsewhere.

Oh and he was bit by the person who 1. Was his partner in science and 2. He was head over heels for them because they let him take risks but still made sure he was safe as he did them.

So that pissed him off quite a bit. Because he almost instantly killed the couple who took in the sickly scientist because the wife cut her finger. He managed to kill the cow instead but he ran away afterwards and never saw them again.

Ran into Janus 300 years later -after travelling a LOT and learning a LOT and nearly dying a LOT and feeling so much that he doesn’t wanna feel anymore because that’s 300yrs of friends dying- and decided to travel with the one type of guy who won’t die of old age!!!

Then Virgil appeared. Then Patton. Then the Twins. Then Remy. Then Emile. He wishes that his dead heart would stop making him want to protect them all to his last breath but what can ya do?

He will murder anyone to save the others- but much prefers to just stay inside and just experiment on the occasional new thing that he finds.

Protector. Leader. Professor. Tired. Doctor. Cantor (yes he was Jewish for a little while after the bite but now he’s Atheist). University Chancellor. Lots of titles and he got them all legit too, although some are a little out of date.

Do not ask how he feels about the others. Especially Remus. He will glare at you without a word before moving on with his life.

Naga Will-Steal-You’re-Last-$5 Janus

Age? Social construct. He hints at being around Logan’s age but that could be give or take a hundred years or so.

He can shift between having a tail and legs- but ofc much prefers the tail. But he hates that his teeth change with it as it makes him hold his ‘s’ more when he talks.

When no tail, the left side of his face is very scarred. Someone tried burning off the scales on his face but the scars only appear when he’s trying to look human. When he has his tail, his scales replace them and they look fine.

Do not touch his hands or he will strangle you with them. They’re sensitive as hell without his gloves and he doesn’t know why.

He can hypnotise you to take a fucking break and he’s not afraid to do it (except on Logan as he’s somehow almost entirely immune)

Doesn’t like hypnotising his friends unless its just to take a break or to pull them out of an anxiety/panic attack. Every other living thing isn’t off limits though.

Lived alone until he met Logan. He also liked killing everyone he met until he met Logan. The only reason he didn’t kill Logan was because the nerd almost chopped off the end of his tail. The others don’t know this and it’s staying that way.

Has a cane to walk with for days that his legs decide that they wanna be a tail but he’s in public for some reason and he can’t and it sucks.

Almost killed Remy when they first met. Literally- he stabbed him in the side. Now they’re best buds over it and it was weird how quickly it happened too.

Has stolen Roman’s last $5. He will not be returning it. He hasn’t spent it because he finds him cute funny when he’s mad.

Siren But-Flips-Off-The-Sea-And-Heights Roman

Was born a Prince! With his weirdo of a twin. They were well liked and he was next in line for the throne and he was gonna be given a wife-

He wasn’t happy that it HAD to be a wife and when he argued that he wanted a guy; everyone turned on him and threw him into the ocean. So... fuck them.

Sirens saved him by turning him into one. He hates it.

Was forced to eat kelp or people. He chose kelp. He hated it.

Was dragged out of the sea by his brother who had been thrown into the evil swamp nearby and is now a banshee. Not as bad but he’s still rather pissed.

Although he was a little sad when he heard, 100yrs later, that his entire kingdom died of the plague. He moved on quickly though.

He hates the sea and doesn’t go near it. If it all dried up one day, it’d be the happiest day of his life. He doesn’t even eat seafood anymore as it makes him upset just looking at it.

He still likes to sing. He can control if it’s going to mind-control those who hear it or not; but it’s a little annoying as he can’t get too into it without accidentally losing control. Doesn’t stop him though. 

He learnt how to play multiple instruments, made anonymously published books, the money-earner of the two. Although he was jealous that Remus was better at more hands-on stuff and is slowly, but happily, learning how to craft things from wood.

He and Remus never separated. Even when Monster Hunters sprayed him with water, forced his tail to appear, and took him to a facility to be imprisoned forever. That’s another thing he was mad about since Remus refused to just fucking RUN but he was happy to see his brother be proud of him when he dug VERY sharp teeth into a mans arm.

Had to be carried out by Janus when he, Logan, Patton and Virgil decided to free everyone inside. Every other creature could run except him, which led to him and Remus staying with them.

He definitely, 100%, no-doubt-about-it got a massive gay crush on Janus when he taught him how to fight. And sword fight. And dance. And how to look after his rather pretty scales.

In the 200-300yrs since he’s had a tail, he hasn’t ONCE really looked after them. So when Janus helped him out and made his scales less gross and more gorgeous, he actually started liking his tail a bit.

The Ocean can still go fuck itself though.

Oh and the one time they visited the Seattle Space Needle? Yeah, fuck heights too.

Banshee Will-Eat-Your-Fingers-If-Given-The-Chance Remus

After Roman got thrown into the ocean, he went on a rampage. He didn’t kill anyone, but he sure as hell got close to murdering their shitty father.

They tied him up and tossed him into the nearby swamp, where he nearly died. He inhaled days worth of magical fog that eventually turned him into a banshee. Which is just the ability to scream so loud that he makes people pass out, which is useful. Oh and sharp teeth that he looks after really well.

He managed to escape the forest, he screamed at a passing merchant and took his horse, and went to the ocean where he found Roman depressingly eating kelp on a rock off in the distance.

He literally got on a boat, dragged the surprised but happy fish into it with him, and made sure that they would never be separated again.

Didn’t care about what happened to their old kingdom. 

He learnt how to make weapons, how to blacksmith, how to glassmith, how to make clothes- Literally anything he could since Roman kind of sucked at making anything that wasn’t music or a story of some kind. Fine by him since he knew the quality of the weapon he was stabbing people with.

When the hunters forcefully made Roman’s tail appear, he tried to scream to make them all pass out but they were ready and punched him out. He would have found it a little funny if he didn’t wake in a jail cell with a thing over his mouth.

The two worst things about it: He couldn’t see Roman and know if he was okay and he couldn’t cuss out the guards.

When that nerdy but very murderous vampire broke in and helped him out of the prison, he returned the favour by biting off the fingers of a guard that had broken Logan’s glasses. He later on fixed said glasses as well but he thought the fingers removal was a better thank you.

Loves Logan; only Roman, Janus and Emile have figured it out. Virgil thinks he’s plotting to kill the vampire one day, Remy doesn’t pay attention and Patton thinks that Logan is a good influence on him (he’s not wrong as he slowly stops describing brutal murders and talks about gross facts that Logan does and doesn’t know)

Remy No-It-Isn’t-Short-For-Remington-Yes-I-Am-A-Dragon-Roman

Born as a shapeshifting dragon. Was supposed to live like a recluse like the rest of his kind but said ‘fuck that’ and now works at a clothing store in a town full of morons for entertainment.

His kind does get tired rather easily so he lives off coffee. He is addicted and luckily for him; his body won’t get used to it so he doesn’t have to heighten the dose of caffeine in every drink. Yay!

Two things happened when he first met Janus and Roman. The first is that he got stabbed by the Naga because he may or may not have seen him wearing some shiny rings that he REALLY wanted. He wanted it more then Janus, so he found it okay to do- but got stabbed for it.

Two; he then bit Roman (who kinda deserved it when he tried to ‘slay the dragon’ when Janus had saw his unnaturally-bright brown eyes) and was dragged to see everyone to figure out what to do with him.

He managed to talk his way out of being murdered by Remus by sheer amazing personality (he’s x5 sassy when afraid and Remus thought he was hilarious) and just decided to hang around everyone just because he could.

Being stabbed turned into a joke between him and Janus and now they’re besties who totally don’t steal from random assholes that they run into down the street. It’s a now competition to have the shiniest collection (Janus is winning but gives Remy the occasional shiny thing as he knows that dragons get very mad about hoard sizes sometimes)

When they all moved towns, he dragged them to one where his old friend Emile was. He also introduced Virgil to Starbucks and their coffee and is still getting berated for it to this day.

Oh and when he does manage to let himself be a dragon, he’s about as large as a horse and has really pretty black scales with a light brown underbelly. His eyes turn bright green too. Virgil calls him Starbucks’s best mascot.

Emile Is-A-Disney-Fairy-Stereotype

Can grow and shrink on command; can also make his wings appear and disappear although it does hurt not to have them out almost daily.

Pink wings and pink hair. Very popular fairy attributes (for both fairies and Monster Hunters)

Can see aura’s of humans and monsters. They look very different depending on species but he LOVES seeing human ones the most as they are often filled with more colours.

Is a therapist, is a cartoon nerd, is able to make you a dress that disappears at midnight

... Can also see your dreams but doesn’t like doing it as its intrusive and it feels like he’s breaking some kind of human Confidentiality agreement 

Being a therapist has changed a lot of his views on personal space (like the whole dream thing he has). He’s very in-your-face when excited, but as a kid he would CLING to people at every chance he had. Even strangers. It wasn’t a good habit.

Became a therapist, an independent one too, because a human friend of his died of suicide and he blamed his therapist who was telling him a lot of bad advice. And said therapist wasn’t supportive of his friends gender-identity crisis as he was very strict on ‘born a boy is a boy’ kind of thinking.

Now Emile takes in teenagers for free and adults at a lower price then a normal therapist. He doesn’t have a great living space (upstairs from his office don’t tell anyone) but he doesn’t care! 

Met Remy as he was one of his patients once. He can tell when someone isn’t human due to their aura’s and nearly fell out of his chair when a FUCKING DRAGON walked in.

After Remy finished his sessions, he still visited occasionally and always remembered his favourite drink (chocolate smoothie with whipped cream and caramel shavings and a chocolate stick or five sticking out- and Remy thought his coffee addiction was bad)

And after not seeing Remy after six months, only to find that he has made friends with a lot of other creatures made him so happy.

Then confused when they all dragged in this fairy therapist into their group. Where Logan asked for the occasional emotional advice (not at ALL related to Remus-), Janus made sure he got a better living space, Remus and Virgil gave him someone to talk to about darker cartoon ideas, Roman (after the 18 times he asked for a magical dress) started making cartoon-stuffs for him, and Patton...

Patton helped him realise that he was still very gay despite the AroAce that he was. He gave him head scritches when stressed, the help he needed trauma-wise, the cartoon marathons with the doggo using his legs as a pillow-

And Patton gave him someone to talk to about all his feelings about his clients (without breaking any rules ofc). And about his old friend and the terrible therapists that he’s met.

He will admit to anyone that he squealed when Janus told him that Patton was pan aroace. Seriously, just ask. He is not ashamed of his excitement of the fact that he has a CHANCE WITH THE CUTE WOLF DAD.

[juseki-taisen]

Questions about OC’s people make

I’m answering this by a separate post instead of your ask, since not everyone online is friendly, and I would never want to even have a smidge of risk fall onto anyone

Don’t worry, skip to TLDR for a summery 

That kind of idea has been around for a long time. People like making OC’s so they can interact with canon characters, it’s part of the fun! It’s also not unusual for people to try and make their character the star of a series (you see this a lot with characters that tend to be labeled mary/gary stu).

Now I am a BIG LOVER of OC’s and fan characters, and I’ve seen a lot of good/bad/ugly/awesome ones. (I’m also gonna age myself a lot here, so excuse me for that)

This gonna be a long ride, I apologize

Lemme age myself for a moment

Fandoms have had a lot of self insert/or ocs that change the main story line for a long, long, time. A really good example of this is the Naruto fandom (the toxic beast, would not recommend time traveling to join this fandom in the early days they can and will hurt you, but they are better now from what  understand). The biggest example of this is when the original series ended BEFORE the age up arc/shippuuden

A lot of people didn’t like that Sasuke (person A) left the village and never came back in the main series. So, a lot of people (a lot of people who had a crush on person A mainly) made their oc’s alter the timeline to where he stayed.

It doesn’t even have to be this extreme, it can be as easy as wanting to participate in an event that happened in canon and changing it so OC solves the problem and alters the timelines (say to keep a character they really enjoy from dying).

A lot of time this happens because an event happens in canon people don’t like when a character dies, storyline takes a turn no one cares for (LOOKING AT YOU BEASTARS!)). So their OC’s/Self Inserts adjust it to a storyline that the reader/creator enjoys.

Now the problem with this in most fandoms is that there is ONE main storyline.

Example again, Naruto (this fandom wont let me go HELP)

This series is very linear, and there’s not wiggle room implicating there could be more universes/aus.

An example of the opposite is BOTH Voltron (Netflix adaptation) and Dragon Ball

Both series have messing with alternate universes, and timelines. Dragon ball goes a bit extreme and implies in the Xenoverse games there can be infinite alternate realities whereas Voltron implied a butt ton (scientific measurement LOL) of alternate universes.

This is important because adding in big events NOT canon to the timeline is easier since there’s a lot of different universes this COULD have taken place, which leaves the main canon storyline alone and safe.

So if they added say...a sibling of person X or Y, there is the possibility in one of the MANY timelines/realities they could have existed.

This is a problem for MOST series because a lot of fandoms don’t have this, and so adding a character in can become a problem. So most of the times people have to imply it’s an AU character OR add them in anyway for the sake of a story/fanfic and just accept canon is dead and we have killed it (for good, better, or worse.).  

NOW - To the Juuni Taisen

This series ALSO has a series to paths/alternate timelines people could work in for fan characters. The problem lies in the fact that it implies that despite there being multiple paths, Nezumi destroys those realities by not choosing those routes as his primary.

It’s actually a great tie in to the fact he loves video games.

If going down path A doesn’t work, he reloads the save and tries path B and so on. But if he decides that path J is the one he wants to continue playing on, then he can not both play J and A, B, C, D ect. He can only canonically play path J, since that is the canon path he has chosen.

When people make oc’s usually they want to be a part of the series or have a character interact with certain characters. Sometimes it’s to change the story line, and sometimes it’s to alter (intentional or not) the main storyline. To be honest, in this case, unless the character doesn’t interfere with the Juni Taisen it leaves a LOT of limited wiggle room for ocs in the series. Why? Well they all DIE, so if you do want to interact with the characters with an oc, it has to be before and not after, unless you have Nezumi. Everyone dies but him, so if you wanna smooch Usagi’s cute face or have your OC take Tora to therapy, you gotta have all it take place before or in an AU, OR alter the canon storyline.

Now back to the different paths, why not choose them? Again, it’s because of Nezumi (this boy is both blessed and cursed). He loads path J, making Au’s possible and other paths canon, but they canonically never actually happened because he CHOSE one path before the others.  

So if you do want to say ‘my character was part of X path’ that’s great! But I think a lot of people may realize that those alternate paths got erased from existence when Nezumi chose a different path. Since he did that, there are specific ways around it, but it makes it hella hard.

Ways around it

1) Alter canon timeline via Nezumi, and have him bring them back

2) Have ocs before canon

3) Time travel (I use this for my own oc, which I would be happy to go in depth with should anyone ask)

4) Alter canon timeline

I’m really not surprised OC’s are made to interact with  the canon story in this fandom, or the fact they drastically change it. No one really enjoys seeing a favorite die and stay dead, especially when there was a chance they could have come back (not that they should, I love you Usagi but ya need therapy).

AND that’s just part of it

Another big part is wish fulfillment.

If OC was part of series then when X happened oc would have been there to help. That changes the storyline, but it makes the person who created the OC happy.

Example:

Ending of Beastars (I’d recommend the series for older audiences but the ending sucks nuggets) was REALLY unsatisfying for me. I had already been doing a fan comic based on it, but since I didn’t like the ending I’m going to actually redo my comic and change the ending (I will put an AU disclaimer because, obviously) but it will fulfill MY WISH for an ending that is satisfying to me

But again, Beastars doesn’t have multiple timelines, so I have to change canon for my series to make sense within it.

Another subset of this is people who want to be part of the series due to escapism. They want a happy ending for a series they enjoy, and they want to be part of it (this gets in to more self insert territory). Sometimes life is shitting on them hardcore and so to have a little power back by their fan stories, it makes real life just a smidge more bearable. 

LONG STORY SHORT

Any OC’s added to series is somewhat altering canon. Juuni Taisen is unique in that it has a lot of alternate timelines, but the problem is the timelines get cleared from existence the moment  Nezumi chooses a different path.

Personally, I think it can be fun to work around the constraints of the series, but if you’re going to go in depth with OC’s in this fandom, you do have to alter a lot of the series in a lot of ways. It’s valid to ask ‘Why not just choose a different path? Or do an AU?’ but a lot of people want to be part of the series themselves or have an OC to make the series ok.

I used to be a stickler about the believability of OC’s when I was younger (I was especially critical when I was taking college level English courses in high school) but I’m not like that anymore. This is in part to, again, the Naruto fandom.

I’ve loved OC’s forever, but when I made one for that series people were awful. People would send me anons telling me to kill myself, how much my writing and art sucked, ect. At the time I was a really sensitive bean. I stopped writing, I stopped doing a lot of artwork, and I stopped creating. I took a lot of it super personally (thanks anxiety and depression). BUT then something terrible happened.

I don’t know if anyone here would remember when the series ended completely, but when it did the fandom went nuts. I don’t mean just whining Destial level, I mean NUTS. They threatened to kill the creator if he didn’t change the ending, they sent threats to his family, they got violent as HELL.

They went way to far. It was really kind of scary?  

But it made me realize something. There will always be someone who doesn’t like what you create, and there will be always someone who will criticize the way you write, draw, express yourself creatively.

Don’t let it stop you

TLDR; 

People make OC’s and alter storylines for a variety of reasons. That’s okay. No, you don’t have to enjoy all the content people make, and YES you can have your opinions about it. I don’t like every OC or fanfic I come across. Some OC’s are wonderful, and some I don’t like. It’s my opinion. It’s okay to have an opinion. You are allowed not to enjoy things. You are allowed to think critically. 

However, I do think people have a right to enjoy themselves. They’re making content for them, not for me, and that’s okay. I don’t have to read it, I don’t have to look at it, and I don’t have to spend time going through content I don’t enjoy. If they wanna make a character who supermans and saves the everyone in the Juni Taisen and flies off to mars, I may not like it but I will 100% support their creativity and right to do it.  

Take that cringe culture and throw it away. Do what makes you happy. It wont always makes sense in canon, or it may not be the most clever way to do something, but do it anyway. Life is hard, fandoms are meant to be fun. As long as you’re not hurting or attacking anyone, you can be be as cringe as you’d like.

You all can make OC’s however you want, anyway you want. We all deserve a little serotonin.

Either way, I am here to support you and all your creations.