#spider creature virgil

[four-rabbit]

I can't stop thinking about the gifts the "dark" sides gave, how all of them were so clearly for the person receiving the gift but also so clearly from them

They all gave gifts that included things they had in common with the person or had something very personal to that person but that also spoke to their identity

Virgil gave Logan the ARG cause he likes to playfully haunt/scary the other sides and he likes mysteries and scary stuff. Cause Logan likes solving puzzles and challenging himself. Cause they both know what is like for people to not quite understand who you are and reduce your identity to just one or two superficial traits.

Janus with the russian doll gift boxes, cause he likes playing with people (and their feelings lets be honest), cause both him and Patton like gags/pranks and cause Patton likes personal heartfelt and genuine gifts so much more than he would ever like some expensive gift.

Remus gave "Mr. Fuzzy" cause he likes spending his time making weird gross stuff, cause both him and Virgil like scary stuff (and maybe both have a tendence to see scary creatures as cute or endearing), also Mr. Fuzzy kinda looks like a spider or is it just me? And he knows Virgil likes to have comfort things that he can keep around, like plushies. Even the reference to their shared past could fall into this.

I think its all very symbolic of their whole acceptance arc. They will try to connect with the others and find a middle ground but they're never going to stop being themselves

[not-so-average-joseph]

Roman: Did you know that small creatures are angrier because they have a smaller space to hold in their aggression?

Logan: That can’t be true, give me one example.

Thomas: Wasps

Patton: Spiders

Virgil: Janus

Janus: *Muffled sounds of frustration*

[sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes]

Imagine: Remus and Virgil brainstorming ideas for eldritch spider creatures together

[anartistinahat]

When you think about it

Logan would be a crow not an owl if we are going to give logan am animal/bird

Owls are not any smater than any other bird but crows are one of the smartest animals, possibly the clossests to human intellegence too

Crows are actually great problem solvers, LIKE LOGAN WITH ANXIETY AND INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WE'VE SEEN IT TWICE TOO

Crows are great at using the tools and make their own tools, REMEMBER THE SECOND VIDEO ABOUT DEALING WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS WHERE THOMAS USED A FEW TOOLS(music, coloring book and puzzles) TO HELP THOMAS

Crows are great decision makers, great communicators, have amazing reasoning skills, they can make rule guided decisions

ALL OF THESE WORK WELL WITH LOGAN AKA LOGIC AND CROWS ARE INCREDIBLY LOGICAL CREATURES TOO IM JUST SAYING

So what im saying is pleasepleasepleaseplease someone draw logan as crow or with crow motifs thatd be so cool omfg like im just saying it's be so awsome it would be so cool it would be the most incredible fanart of logan the world has ever seen (i will most likely end up making it myself BUT IM STILL THROWING IT OUT THERE)

(someone probably already talked or brought this idea up but i just had to get this off my chest alr?? Ppl probably stopped making him a owl too i think BUT STILL HUSH IT-)

So basically

Janus is a snake

Remus is a octupus

Patton is a frog

Virgil is a spider

Logan is definitly a crow

What is roman? (Idk if ppl gave roman any animal motifs yet so pls tell me any you guys think would work for roman)

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Never Did I Truely Hate You

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Janus doesn't expect any of the others to want him around after he's accepted. Even Remus has been acting off. So, of course, the most sensible course of action would be to avoid the source of hurt entirely.

Virgil does not agree.

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| Ao3 |

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Warnings: Self isolation, pretty negative self image

Pairings: Anxceit, very background intrulogical.

Word Count: 2071

Notes: Did a poll on here for which fic I should post next and this one won in a tie with another fic that I will post on Wednesday :3

I feel like I don't write very much canonverse anymore so lmk what you think!!!

----

Janus hadn’t expected everything to be perfect now that he - and begrudgingly Remus - had moved up to the light side’s commons. 

He did not expect Roman to forgive him, or become any less hostile towards him at all, after everything he had done to him. He didn’t expect Patton to want much to do with him, and he expected Logan to prefer talking to anyone but him - even Remus, who he’d spent a surprisingly long amount of time with recently, but whatever, that was none of his business.

And even more than that, He didn’t expect a single ounce of kindness from Virgil. 

Not after he’d left, not after the quips and insults and snipes whenever they’d been within hissing distance of one another. No, he didn’t even expect Virgil to want to be in the same room as him, let alone talk to him, or heaven forbid sit down at the same table as him.

So, Janus decided to intrude on their space as little as possible. It was better to avoid the emotional turmoil and annoying pain it would cause than go through it all… right? …Right??

And so that was how Janus found himself becoming almost nocturnal for the first few weeks of this new arrangement. He also just so happened to spend an ungodly amount of time in the private greenhouse Remus had made for him as an extension of his room (fit, of course, with deadly tropical plants and poisons). He sat there for hours reading, or spent time caring for the snakes that also shared the space and he didn’t come out when someone knocked.

Which was rare because, of course, no-one wanted to talk to him. 

He spent time in the commons at night, making food, eating said food, sometimes even watching a film during the dead hours of the morning. It was fine, he was fine with this arrangement, and he was sure everyone else was enjoying business as usual - you know, without him there.

So far, Janus had managed to avoid running into any side at night - aside from one time, when he came across Roman, though he was already passed out at the kitchen island, so it hardly counted. Something he should have remembered - and would kick himself for forgetting after the events that were about to unfurl because of it - was how awful Virgil’s own sleep schedule was. 

He realised this fact very abruptly when, one night at just past three in the morning, Janus went to open the fridge, only to be attacked from above and tackled to the ground by some kind of hissing creature. 

Moments later, when he gathered his thoughts just enough to will the lights in the living space to turn on, he realised that said hissing creature was actually their resident spider himself, who was now sitting firmly on Janus’ chest as he pinned him to the ground with strong hands on his shoulders. What the fuck?

“Virgil?” Janus asked after a long stretch of silence in which they both stared at each other. 

“I finally got you,” Virgil huffed, seeming a little out of breath from the violent attack, “I’ve been - trying for the last week but you’re too fucking - slippery.”

“What??” Janus asked, staring at Virgil in disbelief, “why?”

“Because you’ve been avoiding all of us since you came up here, idiot,” Virgil said, pushing a little more weight onto Janus’ shoulders, it was starting to hurt, just a little, but he wasn’t about to tell Virgil to get off - this was the closest he’d gotten to him since… before, and Janus wouldn’t lie - at least not in his own thoughts - about how big of a crush he’d always had on Virgil. So yes, he was confused as hell, but he was absolutely not going to push Virgil away when he willingly touched him for the first time in years. What could he say, he was selfish.

“And?” Janus said, trying to make sure his face didn’t betray his raging feelings the position they were in were causing, “So what? I totally expect you and the others would actually want me around.”

“...So what? Dude I’ve been worried sick! Patton asks if we’ve seen you literally every day at breakfast- what? Even Remus doesn’t know where you’ve been!” Virgil yelled, “And then- I was down here on the sofa one night and - well I guess you didn’t fucking see me or whatever but you came down and then disappeared again - so I’ve been trying to catch you every night since to work out what the fuck is going on.”

“There’s nothing ‘going on’,” Janus protested, he was pretty sure he’d lost his hat when Virgil had knocked him over, he didn’t feel too comfortable without it, “I’m just giving you all space to recover after the last episode.”

“No you’re not,” Virgil said, shaking his head with a frown, “I know you too well for that, and we don’t need space, what’s going on, Janus.”

“I-” Janus trailed off, realising that Virgil had really trapped him in a corner here - both literally and metaphorically, Virgil knew him too well, even now, he could spot his lies easily, “It’s nothing of your concern.”

“I didn’t tell the others,” Virgil said, Janus blinked, staring at Virgil’s face in confusion.

“...Didn’t tell the others… what?”

“That you were coming down here at night, that I was trying to uh - do whatever you call this,” Virgil huffed, lifting one hand from his shoulder to gesture to the position the two of them were in, “I didn’t tell them.”

“Why not?” Janus asked, frowning.

Virgil groaned and rolled his eyes, “Because I know you too fucking well, now tell me why you’ve suddenly turned into an owl instead of a snake.”

“I’m saving you all the trouble of pushing me away,” Janus snapped after a long enough pause that Janus knew Virgil wouldn’t relent, “I already know that you all totally want me here, even if Patton’s stupid gesture to accept me meant anything.”

Virgil was silent for a second, didn’t break eye contact as he hesitated, before moving his hands from Janus’ shoulders. For a moment Janus expected him to stand up, dust himself off and mention something about how he was right before walking off. Instead, Virgil sighed and flopped down so he was lying fully on Janus’ chest, head tucked under his chin. 

Almost completely on autopilot - since his brain was entirely bluescreening at the action - Janus’ arms came up to wrap around Virgil, who let out a surprised hum at the action.

“...Virgil?” Janus asked, voice wary. Everything he could have possibly expected from this interaction had just been flung out of the window with a single action.

“When Patton accepted you,” Virgil said, voice a little muffled to Janus’ ears, “I- I was angry at first, but then I just thought that like- now that they liked you I could - I could go back to liking you too, I was excited, I think, to have you back - but then you just disappeared and I - started overthinking it as usual.”

Janus couldn’t help but chuckle even if it came out a little sad, “I thought you out of everyone would want to see me the most, you definitely made that very clear in all of our recent interactions.”

“I’m sorry,” Virgil said, readily and without hesitation, “I was awful to you, and it was - it’s no excuse but I only did it because everyone else chose to hate you too I - I was scared I’d lose their respect over it, but - it doesn’t matter now? Because Patton accepted you so - so they’re not going to hate me for liking you, right?”

Virgil lifted his head to look at him, and Janus sighed. 

“You already know that I don’t know the answer to that,” Janus said, “and I’m sure the others will totally just like me without question now that Patton has accepted me.”

Virgil chuckled, “Roman is still mad about the moustache comment.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Janus said, shaking his head, “And I certainly don't expect that Logan isn’t still angry with me about the courtroom.”

“Okay so maybe we- we don’t tell the others about uh - this,” Virgil said, resting his head back on Janus’ chest. 

“I totally know what’s happening right now,” Janus said with a sigh.

“I’m lying on you.” Virgil said, matter of factly, “B’cause you’re cold and strong and nice to lie on.”

“Okay, well this floor is definitely soft and warm and comfortable,” Janus pointed out, “So if you want to continue to lie on me may I suggest we move somewhere that wont give me back problems?”

“Oh right, yeah of course, sorry if I hurt you, when I uh - tackled you, by the way,” Virgil said, almost immediately getting up, looking a little sheepish. 

“It’s fine. Would you like to watch The Black Cauldron?” Janus asked as he sat up, changing the topic, “I think there’s a DVD of it around here somewhere, we could lie on the couch…?”

“You… remember that I like that film?” Virgil asked, sounding oddly quiet, Janus turned from where he had begun walking over to the couch, scrunching up his nose in confusion.

“Of course I don’t,” Janus said, “It’s not like you made us watch it every other week - interchanged with The Nightmare Before Christmas - without fail since Thomas first watched it or anything.”

He couldn’t help but delight in the way that Virgil’s face flushed red, despite him hurrying to join Janus by the couch. 

“I had almost forgotten about that,” Virgil admitted, “I’ve barely watched it since being over here.”

“I haven’t watched it since you left,” Janus sighed, “I highly doubt I remember the plot.”

Virgil smiled tentatively, “I’ll probably fall asleep before it finishes… but… that just means we’ll have to watch it again at some point, right?”

“Of course, let's take this opportunity to watch it now, shall we?” Janus said, summoning the DVD case in one hand whilst offering the other to Virgil. There was a long second of hesitation during which Janus could almost feel his world crumbling around him as Virgil didn’t take his hand, for a second he thought this must have been a trick, to have a relationship he wished for so badly dangled in his face and then snatched away again at the last second.

But no, that couldn’t be right, Virgil might be sarcastic, mean at times, but he wasn’t cruel and he certainly wasn’t dishonest enough to pull such a stunt so sincerely. Which meant…

“Are you alright?” Janus asked gently, taking back his hand. 

“Oh yeah, Yeah i’m okay,” Virgil lied, Janus raised an eyebrow, “Okay fine, no I- when I left I just- sorta maybe convinced myself that you guys hated me and I just- I didn’t expect you to be so… I definitely didn’t expect you to remember my favourite film, or- or want to cuddle while we watched it.”

“It’s not like I expected you to be any kinder towards me,” Janus replied, face going soft, “But… maybe it’s safe to say neither of us actually hate each other?”

Virgil snorted, “Yeah uh- maybe not, I’m sorry.”

“I forgive you,” Janus answered, “And I’m sorry too, honestly.”

There was a second where Virgil just took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “Thank you, I forgive you too.”

“Good,” Janus smiled, putting the DVD into the player before sitting down on the couch, patting the seat next to him in invitation, “Because we’ve missed a lot of weekends - so we’d better make up for all the lost viewing time, hm?”

“I think we’d get bored if we watched it that much,” Virgil couldn’t help but laugh, flopping down on the couch next to him and immediately leaning into his side, and God had Janus missed this. 

“Perhaps,” Janus nodded. 

“Maybe if you actually came to the movie nights we tried to invite you to we’d have more things to watch,” Virgil murmured as Janus pressed play. 

“You tried to invite me to movie nights?” Janus asked, tilting his head. 

“Yeah - we all took turns knocking on your door every time we did one, you never answered.”

“...oh.”

“Now shut up, the film’s starting.”

Neither of them made it halfway through the film before falling asleep in each other’s arms.

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Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @scalesfeathersnfur @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @littlerat2 @goldnskyart (if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

[delimeful]

mere monstrosity (4)

warnings: misunderstandings/assumptions, dehumanization, threats, janus being kind of a prick, fearplay, mentions of head injuries/brain damage, lmk if i forgot any

-

Roman reeled back as the hand slammed down in front of him.

Like a campfire doused by a bucket of icewater, his fury was entirely flattened by the bone-chilling realization that he was facing not one, but two humans, far away from the walls, any possible escape, or his brother.

Oh, god. Remus.

He might have still been alive back there, there might have been something that could have been done to help him, and Roman would never know because he’d let his anger overtake his sense. Now, dead or alive, he wouldn’t ever get to see his brother again.

A spark of his earlier fury rose from the ashes at the thought, and he raised his pin in the general direction of the two humans towering over him.

“I’d take on any number of opponents if it meant striking down that monster,” he spat, pretending that the tremble running down his arm was due to rage alone. “Willing or not, justice must be dealt!”

The humans exchanged a glance, neither looking remotely threatened, and then the one with the mismatched eyes leaned forward, still wearing that smile that looked more like a flashing of teeth.

“I think you and I must have very different ideas of what constitutes ‘justice’,” he said, and then moved, quick and sharp like a snake striking.

Roman jerked back, but the length of his pin remained held firmly in place by the human’s two pinched fingers.

“For one, most courts aren’t allowed to rule a defendant guilty and have them executed by needlepoint.”

Too occupied trying to wrest his only weapon free, he didn’t even see the human’s other hand sweeping in until gloved fingers were already wrapping around him.

He was plucked off the ground as easily as a hawk catching a mouse, and the instant his grasp loosened, his pin was pulled right out of his hands. “No!”

There wasn’t even time to mourn the loss of a blade that had been by his side for years. He had bigger problems. Literally.

“If you’re truly a proponent of vigilante justice performed by the powerful, though, I’m sure you won’t mind me stepping in,” one of the problems in question said. “After all, if you can pick and choose an opponent to murder at will, why can’t I?”

The words were accompanied by a slight, pointed tightening of the hand around him, and Roman’s gasping breaths started to sound a lot more like squeaks of alarm.

“Janus, cut it out. You’re gonna give him a heart attack,” a relatively small voice cut in.

He followed the sound to see it was the monster, now carefully cradled in the hand of the nerd-looking human. It was rubbing wearily at its eye in a surprisingly humanlike gesture.

“As opposed to the vital organ stabbing he tried to give you?” Janus replied, but his grip returned to firm instead of constricting. “What if we hadn’t been here? You’re lucky Logan is so predictable.”

Finding no success in his attempts to wriggle free, Roman paused and tried to wrap his head around the arrangement before him. The humans were listening to it, even chatting with it like a friend.

“What is all this supposed to be?” he asked incredulously, gesturing to the entire tableau. “That’s a spider monster! Humans don’t even like regular spiders in their homes!”

The spider-creature flattened itself slightly against the human’s hand, fiddling with the edges of its tiny cloak with a scowl on its face.

“To the contrary,” the human with glasses started, “most non-aggressive spider species are considered harmless and even beneficial to a household, due to the bugs they catch and their general avoidance of human contact.”

Roman stared pointedly at where the spider was literally being held by a human nerd at that very moment.

It shrugged, the motion barely visibly with how hunched its shoulders already were. “Extenuating circumstances. I wanted to not get stabbed more than I wanted to avoid contact.”

“Careful, Virgil. It almost sounds like you like us or something,” Janus teased, his smile softening into something less sharp and more wry when he was looking at the creature.

“You got me, I like you guys more than being stabbed,” it replied dryly, gaze still flickering over to Roman every few seconds. “Congrats.”

The nerd human cleared his throat, speaking over the smug, over-exaggerated ‘awww’ sound Janus was making.

“While I’m normally happy to take time to affirm our friendship, I feel like maybe we should focus on the matter at hand,” he said, turning the phrase literal by lifting the hand he was carrying the monster in and then inclining his head at the hand Janus had Roman trapped in.

“Ah, right,” Janus gave Roman a look normally reserved for gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. “What are we going to do about this one.”

He tilted his hand back and let his fingers go loose, giving Roman more breathing room but also leaving him feeling like a tipped over beetle with its legs flailing in the air.

Never one to miss an opportunity, Roman twisted and managed to flip himself over and get all the way to his hands and knees before a thumb was pressed against his back, pinning him back in place idly.

“He had a point earlier,” the words were accompanied by a slight increase of pressure along his spine, “we humans really don’t like household pests.”

“Janus, enough already.” Shockingly, the monster came to his defense again. “It’s not even his fault, it was just a stupid misunderstanding.”

“You were almost murdered over a misunderstanding?” Janus replied, disbelieving. “Okay, but that’s worse. You do see how that’s worse, right?”

Roman was almost with the human on this one, though his disagreement was far more furious than bewildered.

“There was no misunderstanding,” he hissed, his voice coming out slightly wheezing from all the air that had just gotten squashed out of his lungs. “You killed my brother, you monster! You were going to eat him!”

There was a long beat of silence after his accusation rang out. Then, all at once:

“I was under the impression that your diet primarily consisted of insects? Would you even be capable of envenomating a creature of this size?”

“If you killed a guy and went to Logan instead of me for help with hiding the body, I will literally never forgive you—,”

“Oh, that is so not true, I didn’t even touch him until he’d already knocked himself out! He’s not even dead, but if he was, it would not be on me, okay?!”

Even amidst the overlapping chatter, Roman’s mind locked on to the only statement that mattered.

“He’s alive?” he asked, his voice cracking painfully mid-word.

Everyone went quiet, and Janus’s grip pulled away, allowing him to push himself back up to a sitting position without a word. Roman didn’t try to flee, only watched the monster and waited for the rug to be yanked out from under his feet, for the cackling laughter and glee that he had fallen for it.

“Yeah, man, I’m pretty sure,” the monster— Virgil said, scuffing a hand through his hair exhaustedly. “He was still breathing okay when I pulled him up, at least, he’s just got an awful knot on the back of his head. Probably has a concussion or something?”

Above him, Logan frowned in concern. “In that case, he certainly shouldn’t be left alone out there. I’ll go get out the first aid kit, if you can retrieve him?”

Roman felt a brand new wave of fear wash through him, urgent and sharp after the dull ache of grief.

So, that was why the humans were so fond of the monster, so accommodating to him. A spider-sized monster was no match for a human, but if he got on their good side by bringing them gifts, the rare, valuable kind that they had no reliable way of getting themselves… That was a different story.

There weren’t any other borrowers here, despite the signs in the walls of some living there before. Roman thought he knew why, now.

And like an idiot, he’d walked himself and Remus right into the lion’s den.

Except Remus was out of reach, and there was only one being here who could change that.

Roman stared at Virgil imploringly, a silent plea for mercy for his brother.

Virgil swallowed and averted his gaze, hunching over in something like guilt or shame. “Yeah, I’ll, uh. Yeah. Be back in a few.”

He scurried over to the wall without looking back once, and Roman curled in on himself, despair heavy on his shoulders.

—

Virgil was trying really hard to hate the guy who had almost skewered him an hour ago, but it was turning out to be more difficult than expected.

The moment he’d learned that his brother was still alive, the borrower’s demeanor had taken a full heel-turn. He’d stopped struggling, looked somehow even paler than before, and kept casting these desperate, almost pained glances at Virgil.

Look, he got it, okay. Nobody liked being abruptly under the gaze of a couple of humans, especially not when those humans had been actively antagonistic to them for their entire first meeting. He wasn’t happy about the situation either!

Still, he wasn’t the one who had made the decision to follow someone out into the open and keep trying to stab them to death where anyone could see.

He’d groused about it to himself the entire way through the walls, where he found the guy’s brother exactly where he’d left him, thankfully still breathing.

It hadn’t taken him long to drag the borrower to an exit, and he’d entrusted the stranger to Logan’s exceedingly gentle care immediately.

Janus had raised an amused eyebrow at the sight of how much webbing was tangled around the guy’s body. “Suddenly, I see where the ‘eating him’ assumption must have come from.”

“Ha ha,” Virgil replied flatly. “He tripped.”

Still sitting in Janus’s hand, the borrower didn’t say anything, just wrapped his arms around himself miserably, eyes locked on Logan’s back.

He continued not to say anything until the two of them were left relatively alone— Logan was entirely preoccupied with crafting a sterile wound pad into tiny bandages, and after the excitement had died down, Janus had reluctantly returned to his room and the assignment he’d abandoned.

(He’d given Virgil a look that meant there would be questions later, as though Logan hadn’t already been all but buzzing with curiosity from the start. Virgil decided he’d stress about that bridge when he got to it.)

Both of them were on the counter, but where Virgil was pacing back and forth directly on the marble, the stranger had been set in a wide-brim glass bowl to prevent any further surprise murder attempts.

Virgil didn’t feel great about it, especially not with how the guy had folded in on himself mere moments after taking in his surroundings, but he felt worse about the very real possibility that he’d be attacked again.

The tense silence was growing to almost painful levels of awkward, though.

“He’s gonna be fine,” Virgil finally said, because Logan looked intent but not scary laser-focused, which meant the head injury wasn’t lethal.

The borrower shot him a truly scathing glare, and Virgil skittered back a few steps automatically before returning the look twofold.

“What?” he snapped, keeping his voice low. “I told you I’m not the one who hurt him, okay?! I had no part in his quest for brain damage!”

“I know that! You’re just the one who brought him here,” the stranger whispered back viciously. “To humans.”

It was probably a reasonable reaction, especially given that Janus had been giving him the cat-who-just-caught-the-canary treatment, but it still wasn’t fair to blame Virgil. He hadn’t orchestrated the nightmarish situation, for goodness’s sake!

“It’s not like I meant for this to happen!” He dragged his hood up, trying to hide the agitated flush of his ears. “I thought it was just your brother, okay? I didn’t know there were two of you.”

If he’d known, he would have at least consulted with the guy before dragging his concussed brother out of the walls to get treatment from someone who was, by all appearances, a borrower’s worst nightmare. Even if it made his stomach twist to imagine them rejecting any help when it was partially thanks to him that the idiot had been so distracted in the first place, that was still their right to refuse.

Hell, he could have even feigned a minor head injury and asked Logan for supplies or advice! The three of them could have treated the injury without exposing the brothers to inquisitive, overprotective humans at all.

“Two of us?” the borrower echoed, his scowl abruptly lessening. “You thought it was just Remus?”

“Yeah, and you gave me basically zero time to explain before getting all stabby, so.” Virgil shrugged once. “It’s not like I wanted to bring him here, but he’s injured. I wasn’t going to just leave him to croak in the walls.”

The borrower was just staring at him now, his face creased with a complicated expression.

“You being here is your own fault,” he said, a tad defensively.

He got another dirty look for that, but it quickly faded into something almost contemplative.

There was another long stretch of silence, before Logan stepped over to let them know he was going to check the closet for more supplies. He looked to Virgil in silent question: will you be okay, left unattended?

The stranger shuffled back in the bowl, apprehensive, but Virgil only nodded.

It was hard to feel afraid of the guy when Virgil was 80% sure he was currently trying to work out the logistics of a tiny icepack for Remus.

A few seconds later, they were alone. The stranger turned to Virgil immediately, opening and closing his mouth a few times before finally speaking.

“Remus is injured,” he started, speaking slowly as though carefully choosing each word. “He probably won’t be able to endure for long if he’s under a lot of stress.”

That… wasn’t really the impression Virgil had gotten from the few minutes of interaction they’d had, but whatever.

“Logan’s really good with boundaries,” he offered. “I can make sure he doesn’t overstep. I know I’m… me, but your brother seemed surprisingly willing to give me a chance, so.”

“Of course he did,” the stranger muttered under his breath. “Look, if you only meant to bring one, you’re going to want the one that will… will last longer, right? That’s me.”

Virgil blinked several times, trying to connect the dots of that particular statement. “...What?”

The borrower turned to face him fully, scooting as close as the curved glass would allow, his gaze locked on Virgil.

“Get Remus out of here. I’ll stay, and the humans can do whatever they want to me, okay? Just let Remus go.” The stranger pressed a hand against the glass of the bowl. “I’m begging you. On my honor, I’ll do whatever you want, just–!”

“They’re not keeping you,” Virgil interrupted, feeling a little nauseated as the full implications of the plea sunk in. “Do you really think I’d be willing to stay here if they did that? Did you really think I would have brought you both here if they did that?!”

“I– I don’t know!” the stranger spluttered, recoiling slightly. “I don’t know you, maybe! You said you only meant to bring one borrower, what else would that mean if not–,”

“I meant if I’d known you were there, I would have dragged your idiot brother to you first, instead of going and getting help from the humans because I know literally nothing about medicine!” Virgil was clutching at his hair, now, astounded at the turn this had taken.

“Just waltzing out of the walls to hang out with humans goes against like every borrower rule ever, how was I supposed to know–,” the stranger cut off sharply as Logan walked back into the room, body going stiff as the human’s eyes flicked over to them briefly. Virgil released his hair and stuck his hands back in his pocket with faux casualness.

He took a few deeps breaths, and waited until Logan had returned to his tinkering to resume their conversation, now in a mutter.

“The humans do actually want to help, and I personally don’t want to watch your concussed brother fall off another beam and actually die this time, so would you at least give it a chance?” He studied the stranger’s unconvinced face and sighed. “If you really don’t feel safe after a day or two, I’ll help you and Remus sneak out myself, okay? On my honor, or whatever.”

“... Fine.”

[ask-nico-and-the-sides]

Hey everyone who doesnt have animal traits that we know off. Which animal do you think you'd share traits with. If you want you can nsme a mythical and a real animal.

Roman: I WOULD BE A HORSE! :D

Remus: Virgey and I kind of have that.

Virgil: Yeah, I have spider traits and Remus has octopus traits.

Remus: But neither of us have an actual counterpart like Patton and Janus, so I guess we still count.

Logan: This is an interesting question. I’m tempted to name some kind of bird…

Roman: Nerd, you’d be an owl.

Logan: That sounds too easy though.

Captain: Definitely some kind of creature that lives in the ocean… why is my first thought a jellyfish, what the hell???

Logan: Maybe I am an owl…

Roman: You are!

Captain: WHY DO I WANT TO SAY JELLYFISH?!—

[brandstifter-sys]

Crypt Cuddles

@dukexietyweek 2024 Day 8 - Date Night + Pets

Word Count: 3065 (Ao3)

Rating: T

Characters: Remus, Virgil

Pairing: Dukexiety

Warnings: food mention, sex mention, macabre flirting, cartoon antics, spiders, dogs, death mention

Remus doesn't get to plan their dates often, so he wants everything to go right for Virgil. But even with such careful planning and equally macabre company, there's still room for a few hiccups

---

Remus was absolutely ecstatic. Virgil had finally given him free reign to set up a date for their monthly date night. Usually he could only pick the movie they watched or their dinner. Virgil was always hesitant, content with routine. It was fun, but Remus was itching to do something more. 

Everything had to be perfect! Not in a way that nothing would go wrong, but perfect in a way to impress his Carnage-patch kid even if something went awry. And with Remus’ side of the Imagination, that was more likely than not.

Was he nervous when Virgil finally knocked on his door? Of course! But that gave way to excitement when he flung the door wide open. 

Virgil was the one who was surprised. Remus was not nude, nor was he wearing his usual outfit, opting to wear his sash as a belt, and trading in the gaudy jacket for a black billowy shirt. Virgil began to worry that he wasn't dressed up enough in his usual jeans and hoodie. It was bad enough that Remus looked hot even when he was covered in mud and strange fluids. 

“Well if it isn't Death himself,” Remus cheered and leaned one arm against the doorway, “If you're here to take me, be gentle, I want to burn that face into my memory!” 

“You're running out of material,” Virgil scoffed fondly and tried to hide his blush behind his hair. You would think he'd be used to Remus' flirting, but no. 

“I'm not!” Remus giggled and grabbed his hand, “I just used a little too much brain power to set up our date!” 

Before Virgil could ask what that entailed, Remus whisked him through the organized chaos that was his room, and through the portal-door to the Imagination. 

Virgil was used to the rush that blew his hair back and tickled his skin, it was standard for entering the Imagination. He was expecting the gloomy cloudy skies and the spindly forest he usually saw on Remus' side. 

He was shocked to see that the sky was mostly clear with a few wispy clouds. They were in a clearing in the forest with no nightmarish creatures in sight. 

“Remus,” Virgil breathed, “Where are we?” 

“We're near the border of my duchy, Roman’s kingdom, and your part. It's neutral ground. I didn't want anything to get in our way,” Remus said with a shrug, “I want to be the only one to see your radiance illuminating the darkness, to feel it burning my skin to a crisp.” 

He kissed Virgil’s hand and smiled at him, though he was shaking. That was more than enough reason for Virgil to be concerned. 

“Are you trying to be Roman?” he scoffed teasingly. That got Remus to stop shaking and start shimmying. 

“I'm trying not to overdo it so soon!” Remus laughed and guided him through the trees, “I'm trying not to go Gomez, rip off your hoodie, and then worship your anxi-tities!” 

Virgil snorted and shook his head. Remus was still being Remus, but on a short leash. It was still unsettling, not knowing where Remus was taking him, even if he trusted Remus. 

“Holy shit!” 

Virgil gawked at the scene before him. There was a graveyard in the forest with elegant granite headstones and a marble fountain in the center. He couldn't stop staring at the fountain, not when it was a statue of the grim reaper with their arms spread and holding a scythe. There were purple and green fairy lights draped across it and in the branches of the few autumn trees in the yard.

And in the center of it all was a purple and black striped blanket with a lantern in the middle, and a picnic basket holding it down. 

“Do you like it?” Remus beamed. He was bouncing on his heels like an excited kid. Virgil was impressed and he really did like it. But there was always a catch. 

“What if there’s a zombie uprising?” Virgil hesitated. 

“Look at the gravestones, even if there's a zombie uprising, we're safe!” Remus chirped and dramatically motioned to the closest headstone. 

It read: “Here lies Roman's Hetero Fantasy #472” 

Virgil laughed and quickly covered his mouth. He was Roman’s friend, he should show some sympathy! But it was funny.

“Welcome to the Gravely Yard of Broken Dreams, my Margrave of Terror!” Remus giggled, “There are no bodies here so I can't accidentally reanimate them!” 

“You really went out of your way for me,” Virgil muttered shyly. He knew Remus would bend over backwards for him, or go full Uzumaki if he were feeling really bold. But it always surprised Virgil when he put so much thought and care into their relationship. 

“Of course I did! My shadow’s the only one who walks beside me—and you are my shadow, the darkness keeping watch over me, the void that I want to swallow me whole and cradle me!” Remus said, dropping into a purr. 

Virgil had to laugh at his ridiculous boyfriend before he kissed cheek. 

“You won't be leaving my arms ever, even if you want me to let go, honey.” 

“It's a good thing I don't want you to let go of me! I want to get trapped in your web, pierced by your claws, and enraptured by your sublime beauty!” Remus said as his entire body turned red. 

“You're the pretty one here,” Virgil pouted. So he didn't see himself as anything special when it came to looks. And Remus was pretty, from his sharp smile and big beautiful eyes, from his tan but freckled skin to his perfectly groomed mustache. 

“I know I'm pretty,” Remus laughed, “And I know you are absolutely spellbinding, gorgeous, unearthly. You are so much more than pretty!” 

Virgil kissed his cheek again and pulled him to his chest. A little more affection might make this dork shut up. 

“What did you pack for this picnic?” he asked while Remus imploded. Virgil smirked as Remus actually exploded like a cartoon character with a stick of dynamite in his mouth. 

When he returned to his usual state, albeit blushing, Remus guided Virgil to the blanket and sat them both down. 

“Scare Bear,” he hummed and dug through the basket, “I thought about it a lot. Sandwiches are so boring, so are wraps, and I didn't want to use too many forks.” 

He pulled out a tray of meats and cheeses, and crackers, setting it between them on the blanket. Then he pulled out a plate of bell peppers, celery, cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, and hummus. 

Virgil was impressed but waiting for the catch. Was one of the meats from one of Remus' creatures? Was the hummus poisoned? Did he mic in dish soap somewhere?

“So I begged Jannicus to make something!” Remus beamed, “and all it cost was letting him dry clean my suit!” 

“That's why you're dressed up,” Virgil teased and grabbed a piece of cucumber. He dipped it in the hummus, watching Remus preen from the corner of his eye.  

“It's comfy, and if you like the look, I don't mind wearing it more often! Though I like wearing less around—” 

Virgil shoved the cucumber into his mouth before he could finish that sentence. Of course he liked the look, his biteable neck was in the open! 

“I like a little mystery, Cuddlefish,” Virgil hummed and went for another cucumber for himself. 

“I am an enigma!” Remus chuckled and pulled a bottle of wine and two glasses from the basket. 

“Red wine?” Virgil questioned. 

“Janus packed it. I think there's some juice in there if you don't want to drink,” Remus chirped. He really did think of everything. 

“One glass is fine. But I doubt it'll taste like you only sweeter,” Virgil hummed and relaxed, lounging on the blanket on his side, watching steam escape Remus' ears. 

Remus set the wine and glasses aside and grabbed Virgil's face. He was so pretty in the dim light, Remus couldn't help himself. 

Virgil grinned into the kiss, letting Remus' frantic lips explore his own. He would be fine skipping the meal if Remus wanted to make out and cuddle under the stars. 

“You are such an emo nightmare!” Remus teased and bumped their foreheads together, “The perfect match for my brand of nightmares!” 

“You're such a gorgeous nightmare,” Virgil said and ran his fingers through Remus' hair, “Old habits never seem to go away. You make me feel brand new.” 

“What old habits?” Remus gasped and melted under the touch. 

“Making you drop everything to kiss me,” Virgil hummed, “It’s the collision of your kiss that makes it so hard.” 

“Keep making song references and I'll be the hard one here!” Remus giggled and pulled away for just a moment. Virgil watched him pour two glasses of wine and set the bottle in the basket. 

“Is that a threat or a promise?” Virgil jeered and took his glass. He was looking up at Remus with the most relaxed smile and purple eyeshadow. One man could not be allowed to look so pretty and teasing. 

“Which one makes you want me more?” Remus jeered and wiggled his eyebrows. Virgil tried to bite back a laugh. 

“Which one guarantees you won't bite my fingers off?” Virgil asked and sat up. 

Remus pouted in thought. There was no guarantee that he wouldn't get the urge to bite. Then again, he didn't have an opportunity to bite. 

“I don't know, but why would I bite your fingers if they're not going anywhere near my—?” 

Virgil silenced him with some salami and cheese on a cracker, smirking like a little shit. Remus did the first thing his brain thought of and sucked on his finger before fully accepting the treat. 

“Now I know you're trying to be seductive,” Virgil huffed and shied away from him. Remus coaxed him back and giggled as he chewed and swallowed. 

“I have to keep up with you somehow!” Remus huffed, “Just seeing that aubergine hue under those peepers is driving me mad! You are my siren, and I am ready to crash and drown in you. If you wanted to, I would throw away everything just to decay with you.” 

“We're in the right place,” Virgil mused and licked his cheek, “But you're too lively.” Remus squeaked as his soul left his body—a cartoon angel ascended from his shoulders with hearts floating around his halo. 

Virgil reached out and grabbed the little ghost's tail and dragged it back down to its body. Remus giggled and leaned into him with the most lovestruck eyes. 

“You are such a dork,” Virgil jeered. 

“A toast to being a dork in love!” Remus beamed and held up his glass. 

“To being in love with a dork,” Virgil said. 

“Tchim-tchim!” “Prosit.” 

They clinked their glasses and each took a sip. And then Virgil stole a kiss from an unsuspecting duke. Remus was all too happy to reciprocate. 

“It tastes better with you,” Virgil teased. 

“You think so?” Remus giggled and pulled together a cracker with salami and cheese. Virgil could see what he was up to, and he didn't mind. 

When Remus brought the food to his lips, Virgil took it between his teeth, grazing Remus' fingertips. That got Remus to shiver. But he couldn't handle it when Virgil kissed his fingers and languidly kissed up to his knuckles. 

Remus couldn't take it! He shot into the air like a rocket and exploded above the trees like a green firework. Virgil was impressed that he didn't spill his wine, even as he floated down to the ground again. 

“You're going to stop my heart if you keep that up!” Remus giggled and laid down, using Virgil's lap as a pillow. 

“Do I get to keep it if it stops?” Virgil asked and ran his fingers through Remus' hair. 

“It's already yours,” Remus hummed and closed his eyes, “And so is the rest of my body.” 

Virgil set his wine aside and grabbed some celery and hummus. 

“If that body is mine, I'm not letting it go hungry,” he said and brought the celery to Remus' mouth. Of course Remus ate it. Everything was going better than expected.

The evening went by without a hitch. They talked and fed each other, sharing quick kisses that made Remus act like a Looney Toon. It was calm and relaxing. And nothing was going wrong. 

“Hey, Scare Bear,” Remus asked as they stared up at the stars, “Are you having a good time?” 

“Yeah,” Virgil said and pulled him to his chest, “You did good, Puppy.” He punctuated that statement with a kiss to Remus' forehead and giggled at how red the duke became. 

“What about you?” Virgil asked, “This is pretty tame for your tastes.” 

“I'm getting kisses and cuddles from my boyfriend, he hand fed me, he thinks I look hot, and he's enjoying himself. What part of that wouldn't be a good time, Carnage Patch Kid?” 

“You're right,” Virgil said, “I just wanted to make sure. You keep asking me about it, but it shouldn't be all about me.” 

“What if I want it to be all about you? I'm just a man driven mad by a sublime specter. You don't know what hell I would endure to see you smile. I want to pamper you, to be your sacrificial lamb. I want you to torment me for your own amusement, I want all the pain you want to inflict.” 

“You're a little masochist. I just want you to be happy.” 

“I am happy. And I'm happier when you're with me. It feels natural, right,” Remus said and kissed his jaw. This date was going smoothly and he was having fun with his Baby Undead. 

But something felt off. 

Virgil could feel the vibrations through the ground. Something big was thundering their way. But there was a chance it would pass them without seeing them. 

Remus could tell something was coming too. But he wasn't concerned. He knew that pattern. 

Still, he sat up and looked around. He had to bite back a laugh as a familiar tarantula crawled onto Virgil's arm. 

“You made a friend!” Remus giggled. Virgil glanced over and smirked. 

“How did you get out?” he asked and scooped the spider into his hand, “You were supposed to stay in my room, Thunderbolt.” 

The spider chirped and relaxed in his palm. 

“She's still really feline,” Remus giggled, “And one of the best mistakes I ever made.” 

“You wanted to make me a cat, this was your first gift to me ever. She's anything but a mistake.” 

“You're right!” Remus giggled. And then Virgil went rigid. That thing he could feel coming was close. 

Boof! Bork! Woof!

Remus beamed as a giant three-headed dog burst through the trees. Her tail was wagging so fast and all of her eyes were locked on Remus. 

“Winary!” he cheered. The dog immediately started whining and tackled him to the ground, each head nuzzling him and licking his face. Such a happy puppy! 

“Was this part of your plan?” Virgil asked and relaxed, laying down next to him. Thunderbolt scurried to his shoulder and curled up in his hoodie. 

“Nope!” Remus laughed as his puppo calmed down, “But out of all the surprises that could happen, this isn't so bad!” 

“Looks like we won't get to pull a Mary Wollstonecraft,” Virgil said and pulled Remus' head to his chest. 

“We can do that later!” Remus beamed, “I'd rather watch you watching the stars.” 

“That might be a problem,” Virgil said with a grunt. Winary decided that it was the perfect time to flop over both of their legs. 

“Why?” Remus pouted. He looked so dejected with big sad eyes and an adorable pout. 

“I'm not gonna watch the stars, not when you're here,” Virgil admitted shyly. Why wouldn't he want to admire his boyfriend? Remus was adorable and feral, sweet and silly, and he cleaned up so well. If Virgil were bolder he would kiss every freckle on those cheeks until Remus couldn't function. 

“You’re so sweet!” Remus giggled. 

“You're the sweet one here,” Virgil huffed fondly, “You set up this whole date and you thought of almost everything that could happen. You went out of your way to make it something I would enjoy.” 

“You're enjoying this?” Remus peeped hopefully. Virgil nodded and kissed his forehead. 

“Yeah, even if there's a hellhound crushing my legs.” 

“That means I get to carry you back!” Remus beamed, “And you'll get to see me looking like some sort of bodice-ripper male lead!” 

Virgil laughed and shook his head while Remus fantasized. He was not some damsel who couldn't get around without his legs. He had some sturdy spider limbs. But it was cute watching Remus daydream. 

“How about you just lay with me here and decay?” Virgil suggested. 

“Passing on in each other’s arms, letting this cursed flesh rot away until only our pristine skeletons are left, clinging to a passion that goes beyond living?” Remus asked and looked up at him with shining eyes. 

“Yeah, unless Winifred, Sarah, and Mary decide to eat our corpses. And Bolt too, but she doesn't eat nearly as much.” 

“Mm, keep talking about decaying with me,” Remus purred and fluttered his lashes. To add to his point, he traced circles on Virgil's chest. 

Virgil took his hand and kissed it, letting Remus melt on him. 

“How about you try to asphyxiate me instead? Steal my last breath while I devour your lips,” Virgil said with a smirk. Remus was never prepared for Virgil flirting with confidence. He could never get enough. 

Virgil cupped his chin and leaned down slowly, building up some tension. His thumb brushed Remus' lower lip before he struck. Remus refused to fight it, not when Virgil leading the kiss sent sparks through his vision. 

“We should do this again sometime,” Virgil mumbled against his lips, “If it's not too boring for you.” 

“Only if we keep our pets home. I want to pull a Mary Wollstonecraft with you!” Remus giggled and nuzzled into his chest. He was going to appreciate the anxi-titties no matter what. 

“Deal,” Virgil hummed and held him close. Winary rolled on her side with a huff while Bolt crept out of hiding to cuddle between Remus and Virgil. This wasn't perfect, but it was wonderful all the same.

[askpowersides]

CERTIFIED INTRO

Hi! I'm Lemon/Lemoon! I solo run this ask blog. I will mostly do little prompts and blurbs of RP, but maybe drawings sometimes too! This is my first time running one so please, don't be afraid to give me some criticism!

This is a Superhero/Villain AU. In this world, it's very common for a person to have one or two superpowers. Depending on how strong they are you're offered jobs to work for the government in different positions such as crime fighting, crisis aversion, safety precaution, and basically anything to do with keeping the upkeep of Sanders City!

All of them have a Hero and Civillian identity, so I ask that if you submit an ask, you keep the civilian questions to the civilian identities and Superpowered questions to the super identities

As for shipping, there's probably gonna be basic stuff. Logicality, Dukeceit, and Prinxiety, so feel free to ask about those pairing, even though none are dating as of now!

I'm hoping you learn more about them through ask blurbs or prompts and such, but under the cut is a quick character profile and rundown!

Deceit and The Duke

The Duke and Deciet are the infamous villains of the city. They leave utter terror in their wake wherever they go. They're practically always together.

The Duke seems to be the stronger of the two, with his tentacle summoning powers he can constrain and hold people, animals, and even buildings! He seems to be more violent and prone to mocking his enemies. He wears a handcrafted helmet meant to look like a Mace or Morningstar, but lacks any metal in its structure.

Deceit is the more cunning, smart villain. His power is making minor illusions, and with that, he can change his snake face into any person he's seen, although imperfections are common. Speaking of snakes, watch out for his summoning ability! His second power is dastardly, as he can summon a yellow snake anywhere from 9 inches to a whole 26 feet!

The HHF (Head Heros Foundation) nor the government can find any information about their civilian identities....but through the power of an ask blog? You, too, can know!

Remus Crete has a power much similar yet weaker than his twin brother. He can create anything small and toylike in size with the ability to follow commands and come to life. With how weak Remus' creations are, he wasn't as fortunate as his twin Roman to get a job at the Heros tower. His brother still offers him funds, but his parents could not care less about the forgotten twin.

Janus Laine can summon multiple arms, and that's it as far as the government is concerned. He, Remus, and their other roommate Virgil live in a small apartment down in a less fortunate part of the city. They both live off whatever Roman sends them from his paychecks per month, and Virgil pays for himself.

Paranoia

Paranoia is the third villain of the little trio. Paranoia often works alone, seen only with the Duke and Deceit when facing off against multiple Heros at once.

Paranoia often targets more rich people than government buildings, leading him to less run ins with big Heros. His powers include 4 long spider legs that can help him climb buildings, and being able to contort shadows. This allows him to travel at the speed of light as long as he darts through shadows, even pulling them out of walls to cover his face and conceal his identity.

Just as Duke and Deceit, the HHF are unaware of the identity of Paranoia.

Virgil Freal is a skinny pale boy who was born with multiple eyes. As far as power development it came very early compared to most and that's all the power development team at the hospital seemed to note about him, letting his late stage power development go unnoticed to the government. He works at the Patty Cake Cafe in an upper part of the city and lives with his roommates and friends Janus and Remus.

Roman the Grand Prince

Roman, unlike his fellow Heros, actually revealed his name early on. With a power such as being able to create large fanciful powerful creatures like witches, towers, bats, ghouls, and other creatures of the sort just by drawing them and 'pulling them out of the page' he became the face man for the HHF.

Roman was offered a contract in his early teen life, as compared to his twin his powers developed fast and strong. He was offered a home, a 300,000 a month salary, and a job beating up evil-doers and he lept at the chance. Because of this it's rare to find him anywhere around, as to keep away from paparazzi he stays in the tower until needed.

The HHF classified his last name and family for their safety and privacy, but you already know Roman Crete.

Logic

Logic has worked for the HHF for many years. He has fearsome metalkenisis, and keeps strictly business.

His fellow heroes only see him when they all fight crimes. He works specifically in safety regulation but oftentimes will fight alongside Morality and The Prince. He tries to keep to himself and is very private.

The HHF have classified any personal civilian information about Logic.Logan Berly works as a librarian out of office. He lives in the hero tower with his fellow teammates Roman and Patton but avoids them at all costs. He has no second power, but his first power is strong enough to make up for it.

Lastly, Morality

Morality is the final aid of the HFFs main squadron. Morality can summon small floating balls of light filled with emotion. Being backed in one's light is said to be calming and sweet. Because of this he often works in crisis aid. He helps people facing trauma or accidents by calming them down while transporting them to safer places using his light magic, but it can also be used as a fearsome blinding technique in battle.

Morality got the gig in early adult life. It was his dream to help others and his powers came in useful when villains started popping up and scaring people.

The HHF have classified any personal and civilian information about Morality.

Patton Harth is a proud owner of a small upper-city Cafe called the "Patty Cake Cafe" where he often works and manages when not needed at the tower. Luckily as an owner he can pop in and out without needing to be there constantly. He often helps the younger looking man Virgil who takes a lot of Noon and Afternoon shifts for more money, despite the fact that he seems to get stressed easily and quickly.

The light stars he summons, being able to calm people and blind them, constitute as two separate powers.

AND FINALLY, ASKS ARE OPEN!!

[trashyswitch]

Day 8: Truth

Janus is infodumping about snakes, and both Roman and Virgil are bored. So, Virgil pulls a silly trick on Janus, to make him shut up and laugh at the same time. But that silly trick, as well as everything after, is a secret cover up for something else entirely...

Day 8. I hope you enjoy.

Janus happened to be rambling up a storm towards Roman. And Roman, though he was trying to hide it, was growing visibly bored of Janus’s tangents. Virgil could notice this right away. And honestly, he was getting bored of Janus’s conversation topic too. So, Virgil gently pulled out his pet tarantula and very quietly snuck up to Janus. 

“So the whole myth of snakes asphyxiating their prey through squeezing them, is very much a lie that should be re-educated. Why they don’t have a separate unit on snakes in school is beyond me…because people could learn so much from these interesting creatures of the ground!” Janus explained. 

Roman’s eyes were about to shut for the 57th time that afternoon, when her eyes suddenly fell upon a black blob on top of Janus’s hat. Roman’s eyes adjusted to see the blog clearly, before realizing what it was: 

It was a spider! A big, hairy tarantula! Roman was about to bring it up, but quickly stopped himself when he saw Virgil’s head with a finger over his own mouth, gently ordering him to shush. 

Roman watched as Virgil shook his head menacingly at him, almost to say ‘You mention I’m here, and I will shove your sword down your throat’. Roman quickly focused back on Janus as best he could. Virgil’s scary when he’s making that face…But despite ‘listening’ to Janus’s conversation, Roman would keep sneaking glances at the tarantula…

…Especially when it would start crawling around. 

“The most well-known habitats for snakes are the woodland areas, the forests, and the deserts. Of course, each and every type of snake has scientifically evolved to survive their respective habitats-” 

The tarantula crawled across the hat to the right side, leaning towards the bill of the hat.

“The fact about snakes surviving their head being cut off, is scientifically true. However: the idea that decapitated snakes can keep living up until sundown? That is quite false. You see, the snake’s brain doesn’t require as much oxygen to survive-” 

The snake crawled itself down the right side of the hat, towards the head. 

“They could even actually last a couple hours before experiencing brain death! It’s incredible, really. Though I don’t know how they would eat without a jaw, or know where to go without eyes. That is something I need to look up myself.” 

The spider fell onto Janus’s shoulder. And with pure luck, Janus didn’t even feel it! 

“Spiders don’t have ears to hear music. But they do have the ability to feel vibrations like we can. Scientists have actually discovered that classical music and Indian music, when turned on in front of a snake, can have a calming effect on them.” 

The spider crawled up to his collarbone, and up to the yellow t-shirt Janus was currently wearing. 

“It has also been discovered that snakes- Agh!” Janus brought his hand up to his right shoulder, and slapped it. Roman widened his eyes, covering his mouth. Did Janus just smack at the tarantula?!

But amazingly, Janus actually managed to miss the spider by a single inch! And that spider, terrified by the sudden threat on its life, crawled itself right into Janus’s shirt from its U-neck opening. 

“aaAH! What the-” Janus started patting himself down and lifted up his shirt to get the tarantula out of his shirt. “Get out of thehere!” Janus reacted, showing a slight smile as he started wiggling around. 

Roman widened his eyes and watched curiously as Janus struggled to get the tarantula out. “Oh wow…” Roman mumbled. 

“Stuhupid tarantulahaha-’ Janus let out, hugging his stomach and doubling over without squishing the tarantula. “Vihihirgil! Yohohour tarahantula got ohohohout agahahahain!” Janus yelled, a wobbly, toothy smile filling his face. 

Roman smirked and leaned his chin on his own palm. “What’s wrong, Jay? A little ticklish?” Roman asked. 

Janus squeaked and arched his back, laughing in a way that sounded almost hissy…ya know…like a snake would. “Waitwaitwait PLEHEHEhease!” Janue ordered. “Hohohold ohon-” Janus untucked his shirt and lifted it up. “Gehehet ohohoff mehehehe!” Janus begged, reaching back for the tarantula. 

Virgil appeared from behind Janus. “You realize you’re talking to a tarantula, right?” Virgil reminded him, pointing to his tarantula. “He doesn’t understand you.” Virgil told him. 

“Yohohou!” Janus tippy-tapped his toes as he struggled to handle the ticklish crawling on his back. “Gehehet ihihit ohohohoff!” He reacted, reaching behind his back to try and get the tarantula. 

Virgil smiled and crossed his arms. “Nah. I rather enjoy seeing you laugh like this.” Virgil reacted. “You remember Janus, don’cha?” Virgil teased in a small sing-song voice. 

Janus fell to his stomach and kicked his feet like a little school girl. And located on his back, was a little black, hairy, crawling creature. Virgil scooped up the little tarantula into his hands and put the tarantula onto his shoulder. “There you go, little guy.” Virgil said. Roman walked up and very hesitantly moved his finger closer to the tarantula. “W-Wow…” He mumbled. “He’s your p-p-” 

“Pet?” Virgil clarified. “Yup. My one and only.” he replied. “You wanna hold him?” Virgil asked next. 

Roman widened his eyes and bit his lip. “Uhhh…” He let out some quick breaths. “Uhhhhhhhh- Sure.” He replied awkwardly. 

Virgil looked up at Roman, and tilted his head. “Are you scared? You don’t need to if you’re-” 

Roman placed his hands down in a bowl motion. “Do it anyway. Thomas needs to get over his fear of spiders somehow.” Roman told him. 

Virgil shrugged his shoulders and moved the tarantula towards his fingers. “Slowly?” Virgil asked. 

Roman nodded. “Yeah.” 

Virgil let the tarantula scope out Roman’s hand. It touched the fingers gently with its front left leg, before touching it with its front right leg next. Then…when it felt the coast was clear, the tarantula walked gently onto Roman’s fingers to his palms. “Ohoho bohohoy…” Roman mumbled. 

“You feel okay?” Virgil asked. 

“Y-Yeah…Ihi think…” Roman replied. 

“Okay. Will you be okay if he just stays on your hand for a bit? I have some…business to attend to.” Virgil asked. 

Roman nodded his head. “Sure. Go ahead.” Roman replied, putting on a brave face. “If I can beat the dragon, then I can handle a tarantula.” Roman declared. 

Virgil turned around and walked up to Janus. “Alright, now onto you.” Virgil started skittering his fingers all over the snake boy’s sides and ribs. “You sir, need to admit something to me.” Virgil told him. 

“WAHAIT- NAHAHAhahaha!” Janus laughed, attempting to push him away. 

��Admit you’re a cute dangernoodle.” Virgil told him. “Wahahait WHAHAHAT?! NOHOHOHO!” Janus yelled. “That’s no #1! Meaning, I get to tickle you in one of your top 5 ticklish spots.” Virgil told him. 

“OHGODNOHOHO-! Nohoho fahahair!” Janus yelled. 

“Oho, this is completely fair! My little arthropod has been badly missing his deceitful uncle. And it’s been ages since his last tickle fight.” Virgil told him. “Like- Listen: He said ‘a tarantula can only tickle Virgil so many times before it gets boring!’. His words, not mine.” Virgil explained, smirking. 

“BUHUHUHULLROHOHOAR.” Janus yelled back. 

“Say what you want. But it won’t change how ticklish the scaly side of your back is.” Virgil mentioned before lifting up his shirt and going for the left side of his back. 

“WAHAIT- NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAHAHAhahahahAHAHAHA!” Janus cackled, trying and failing to push Virgil away. 

But this didn’t stop the emo. This only increased that mischievous fire in his eye. “Like, my god. It’s such a shame there’s no cure for sensitive scales.” Virgil reacted. 

“SHUHUHUHUT UHUHUHUHUHUP!” Janus shouted at him.

“Now admit it: you’re a cute dangernoodle.” Virgil ordered. 

“HAHAHA- NOHOHO WAHAHAY!” Janus yelled back. 

Virgil sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “Suit yourself.” He walked himself to Janus’s belly, and stuck his fingers into Janus’s belly button. “Spot number 2.” He muttered out loud. 

Janus screeched almost like a girl, and doubled over in an attempt to get Virgil’s fingers away. “NAHAHAHAHAAA! EEEHEHEHEHEHE- STAHAHAP!” Janus yelled. 

“Admit it then.” Virgil told him. “AHAHADMIT WHAHAT?!” Janus asked. 

“That you’re a cute dangernoodle!” Virgil replied. “God, don’t you ever listen?!” Virgil asked in a joking manner. 

Janus pushed Virgil’s hands away and backed up as best he could. “Stahap-” Janus narrowed his eyes at him. “I am NOT a cute dangernoodle.” Janus admitted. 

Virgil smirked and turned to Roman. “You doing okay, Prince?” Virgil asked. 

Roman was struggling to keep himself calm while the tarantula was very slowly walking itself up his arm. Though, his tarantula had only hiked up half of the lower arm. 

“Oh yeah, my little buddy likes to walk around a bit. Here.” Virgil scooped up the tarantula from Roman’s arm and used his conjuring abilities to send his tarantula back to his cage. “There.” He smiled. “Now since Janus doesn’t seem to understand the word ‘truth’, wanna help me?” Virgil asked. 

Roman looked at Janus for a moment, who desperately shook his head ‘no’. But Roman only took this as a chance to agree. “Sure!” He replied eagerly. 

Virgil smiled. “Alright. Janus? You have one more chance to admit it. If you don’t comply, then we will resort to tickling 2 of your worst spots.” Virgil explained to him. 

Janus widened his eyes and looked at both the boys with intense nervousness. “But-” He shook his head and growled. “Why?! Why would you want me to admit something like that?!” He asked. 

Virgil looked at Roman, while Roman looked at Janus with a smile. “Because it’s the truth.” he admitted. 

Janus widened his eyes and looked at both sides. “W-Wait…” He narrowed his eyes.  “Is this a confession?” Janus asked. 

Roman giggled and scratched the back of his head as his face heated up. “Y-Yeah…It is.” he replied. “I…I like you, Janus.” 

“O-OH!” Janus reacted, looking at Roman. “I-” He wasn’t sure what to say. “Wow…” was all he could really say in response. 

Roman looked to his right, to where Virgil was. “Virgil-” Roman widened his eyes when his eyes fell on nothing. “V-Virgil?” 

Roman looked around, before his eyes fell on the stairs railing. Virgil was hiding behind it, signaling for Roman to ‘keep going’. Roman smiled and blushed a small bit. He whispered the words ‘thank you’ to Virgil before turning around to turn to Janus. 

“So…Since you gave me the chance to infodump for a while…perhaps you would like to infodump about something?” Janus offered. 

[halfhissandwich]

Random Sanders Sides headcanons, most of which I have no evidence for but will defend with my life anyway (feel free to share yours in the replies if you feel like it):

- c!Thomas and Virgil at least subconsciously see each other as brothers. Come on. They have stronger brother vibes than the actual pair of brothers in this series.

- Logan and Virgil comfort each other during rage attacks and panic attacks respectively.

- There was one time very shortly after Virgil joined the light sides when Janus got drunk and started singing Gary Come Home from SpongeBob, but with Virgil’s name. Remus still has the recording.

- The orange side will be a pirate. (This was written 3/17/24, let’s see if I was right when the season finale is out)

- Patton has dad sneezes. One time, the sides heard this huge explosion and they all collectively yelled “REMUS WHAT DID YOU DO?!” And Patton said “sorry, guys… allergies…”

- Many of the bonds between the sides have gotten stronger over a united hatred for another side. (Roman and Virgil bond over hating Janus, Janus and Remus bond over hating Virgil, Patton and Virgil bond over hating Remus…)

- You know when Thomas did that thing where he said the most out of character thing for each side and for Janus, Virgil and Logan he did “I like pancakes with marshmallows!” Yeah, the three of them said that as an April Fools prank one year and Patton started crying with joy.

- None of the sides were originally what we currently know them as. When c!Thomas was little and the sides were developing, Janus was Self Preservation, Patton was Kindness, Logan was Brain, Virgil was Paranoia, and the twins were King Creativity. Over time, they shifted as they discovered more effective ways to fulfill their roles (notably Janus taking to dishonesty), and turned into what they are today.

- Patton is significantly more blind than Logan. Both of them are blind without their glasses, but Patton is way more so. I don’t know why I feel this way.

- Janus and Logan have a lower alcohol tolerance than the other sides because the ability to lie and the ability to think logically are both very hindered when you’re drunk. Core moral beliefs and creativity aren’t really hindered by alcohol, so Patton and the twins have a way higher alcohol tolerance. Virgil, by the way, has practically no alcohol tolerance. (Don’t quote me on any of this, I haven’t ever tried alcohol)

- Janus is venomous, but none of the sides can really get sick or die and Janus is imaginary, so even if he wanted to, he couldn’t seriously hurt anyone with his venom.

- Imagine a Sanders Sides beach episode. Virgil is trying to stop Thomas from going in the water at all, Roman and Remus are fighting with water guns, Logan is fanboying over the sea creatures he might find, Patton and Janus are babysitting and placing bets on who’s gonna win the Roman v Remus water gun duel.

- Virgil hates Janus because Virgil is the spider of the group and Janus is the snake, but Janus is somehow the one who ended up with 8 limbs.

May add to this, might not, I dunno, I was just bored

[anxiouslyfred]

The Best Animal

so according to my note for this idea @lostcephalopods suggested it, probably months ago.

Summary: Virgil and Remus are arguing over which is best, spiders or octopuses. The rest of the sides have to escape them by heading into the real world and confusing Thomas by their presence.

/\/\

Thomas blinked as his Creativity appeared in the living room, looking cautiously around the room before sighing and collapsing across from him. “Hi Roman, pretty sure I'm not asking for ideas or motivation right now. Why're you here?”

“Sheltering. They got into Patton's room earlier and mine was basically taken over immediately because that's what Remus does now. Janus thinks you're the safest place to stay right now.” Roman explained looking at him, before checking the room around them again. “Given it's Janus we're dubious over that accuracy especially since he's actually sheltering in Logan's room now.”

Before Thomas could ask just why his sides needed to shelter, as if Remus wasn't a decent start to the explanation, Patton appeared on his lap, only to jump off and shove him forwards to hide between Thomas and the sofa.

Logan and Janus were soon to follow now, both just brushing off their clothes before looking around the living room in a calmer fashion than Roman had done. “Being in the real world should limit Virgil's summoning abilities even if I'm dubious that it would impact Remus's transformations as you're suggesting.” Logan was commenting before nodding to Thomas.

“I would love to know just what you need to shelter from, or have you all decided we need to do an impulsive video?” Thomas asked, looking at the three he could without twisting.

“Creepy crawly death dealers.” Patton half wailed from behind him, explaining nothing except that spiders were somehow involved.

Janus just nodded, “Indeed, there are a lot of spiders around the mind space currently. Virgil and Remus are debating the best eight-legged animal and while Remus has been transforming in order to make his point Virgil prefers simply summoning them and both were trying to recruit us to support their choice.”

***

Inside Thomas's mind, Virgil turned from the argument for a moment, snickering. “I think the others are hiding in the real world now. He's getting worried about us. Wonder if he's amused by them all too.”

“I'll go check when you admit squids are the best multi limbed creature.” Remus grinned, form shifting as he glided closer to Virgil's head.

“You were arguing for octopuses! Don't change animals for no reason and stop lying. It's always going to be spiders that are the best and you know it!” His attention snapped back to the argument at hand, a mixture of spiders and frogs now falling on Remus. “They keep pets! They're like the only animal other than us to keep pets. And you want me to believe loners lost in the sea are better than that?”

Remus cackled at that, “Is that why you like Patton so much? You can't just decide to be a light side cause Patpat turns into a frog.”

“I didn't – Fuck he really did that, didn't he?” Virgil went to argue only to stutter in realisation.

“Yup, maybe he's insecure and thought doing that would make you stay with him when I showed up!” He cheered his words, excited at the idea.

Virgil smirked, “So you're happy that spiders keep pets? See. They are the best.” He gestured to the spiders and frogs from before, now on the floor and clearly moving to find each other, forming their own families.

“Octopodes are not loners! They literally gather in hundreds to nest and die. They're so fucking community focused they die together!” Remus countered, immediately returning to their original argument.

“Communal death is not community! In humans it's a horror. It's society failing.” Virgil snapped back.

Neither of them noticed Roman quietly popping up, keeping to the edge of the room where there were fewest spiders. “Or maybe you should both admit that the greatest animal that actually exists is the platypus.”

With that he was laughing as Virgil and Remus were promptly on the same side, arguing for both animals.

He carried on laughing when Virgil summoned two foot of water into the room, starting about knee height to part way up their chests with octopi and squids swimming through it.

The laughter stopped and Roman very quickly vanished back to Thomas when Remus turned into a giant spider, now dangling from the ceiling.

“Both brilliant?” Virgil said after watching Remus's cackling for a moment.

Remus grinned over at him, “For reactions like that, definitely. All the creatures in here are brilliant.”

***

Thomas blinked at Roman's abrupt reappearance. “So you weren't successful in getting them to stop arguing?”

“I was, but I don't recommend going back to the mind-space for a while.” Roman insisted after a moment checking Remus hadn't followed him.

Janus smirked over at him. “I told you you'd only get Remus to transform in support of Virgil.”

“No, you said I shouldn't try getting them to support each others animals against one I chose.” Roman protested. “You never mentioned Remus becoming a giant spider!”

“It was implied.”

[dndeceit]

Fander Fic Rec Friday (#9)

(Crossovers and Fandom Fusions)

In the Frostweald Forest by LeFay_Strent Fantasy/Critical Role AU (Gen) Rating: T Running from a bad situation at home, Patton takes a risk and disappears into the cursed, wintery woods of the Frostweald Forest. His otherwise lonely struggles in the remote wilderness are brightened somewhat by his only neighbor: an unusual spider-like creature also inhabiting the woods. Notes: Set in Tal'Dorei, from Critical Role's primary setting of Exandria. And I'm a fan of both CritRole and D&D, sure, but I love, love, love a survival story, and this has a lot of that. And the shyly developing friendship between Patton and Virgil is so sweet in this.

growing up, and other lies told to children by arealsword Matilda AU (Gen, Moceit-ish) Rating: T Janus doesn't know what to make of the strange, serious boy that keeps visiting his bookmobile. The best he can do for Logan is keep offering books, advice, and the ear of an adult that doesn't entirely suck. Notes: Matilda AU where Janus is a rogue librarian with Trauma, Patton is a teacher struggling under the shadow of his terrifying aunt (also with Trauma), and Logan, apparently, has psychic powers.

Eye, Me, Myself by arealsword Canonverse/The Magnus Archives (Gen, Jon/Martin) Rating: T A very uncomfortable interview with a(some) very uncomfortable person(people) during a very uncomfortable time(the apocalypse). Note: Confession - I have never listened to The Magnus Archives, but I still found this one captivating. Also, everyone is having the worst time.

Windows and Daemons by alicat54c Canonverse/His Dark Materials (Gen) Rating: G Thomas finds himself transported to the His Dark Materials universe, and what happens to his sides may shock you! Notes: I love daemon AUs in general, but the dimension travel element of "oops, daemons are a thing now, apparently" makes this very fun and different.

Song and a Spark by alicat54c Canonverse/Girl Genius (Gen) Rating: G Thomas should not have Touched The Thing in his father's shed. Now he and his sides are stuck in the Mad Science Dimension doing Mad Science Things. Notes: I love the webcomic Girl Genius, and this is such a weird and wonderful crossover with it. (Also, not enough fics reference Thomas's chemical engineering background? In my opinion?)

voices in my head by world_wanderer Canonverse/Be More Chill (Gen) Rating: T The sides suddenly find themselves dealing with an invader in the Mindscape. Can they save themselves and Thomas from the influence of the SQUIP? Notes: Have not seen Be More Chill either, but I didn't let that stop me. Not a lot of canonverse fics place the sides against forces from outside Thomas's mind. It makes for a very interesting story.

The Worst Part by TheAsexualofSpades Merlin AU (Anxceit) Rating: T Janus is the prince of a kingdom where magic is punishable by death. Virgil, his manservant and confidante, is also secretly a sorcerer. Notes: Merlin's another fandom I only really know in broad strokes, but the Anxceit here is good. It really hits the right notes, imo, of personalities constantly, loudly clashing while also, more quietly, being willing to fight the world for each other.

In Memoriam by Acantha_Echo Canonverse (Gen) Rating: G Roman comes back from the Imagination with no memory of his identity or the other sides. The others embark on a quest back into the Imagination to find out why. Notes: Not technically a crossover or a fusion, the sides take a stroll through a version of Narnia in Thomas's imagination, trying to figure out what happened to cause Roman's amnesia.

The Cat, The Prince, and The Doorway to Imagination by Karalora Canonverse (Gen) Rating: T After Putting Others First, Roman tries to reorient himself by inviting the others along on a nostalgic adventure in a beloved work of fiction, but for some reason the Imagination seems determined to cast him in a much less heroic role than he would like... Notes: A similar premise and themes to In Memoriam, but it approaches them very differently. WIPs

Infinite Respawns: Stories About Those Who Have Been Chosen by Genderqueerglacier Minecraft AU (Gen) Rating: M Some people are blessed—though others would say cursed��to revive after every death. Some of these so called adventurers go on to attempt great things, others bring nothing but misery, and still others are just trying to get by. Notes: This is such a creative in-universe interpretation of players respawning. I love stories that work game mechanics into the story in interesting ways like this, and the idea that the player characters are literally, fundamentally different from NPCs within the world they live in opens a lot of interesting doors. Warnings: Sad. Very sad. They all die a lot, and not all of them are entirely happy to keep coming back. Waves by LumaCrossing Canonverse(?)/YouTube RPF/Egos (Gen) Rating: T The fictional characters created by various YouTube personalities are suddenly appearing in real life (some possessed of unusual powers that shouldn't be possible). Now all of them are trying to find their way home in one way or another. Notes: I haven't delved into the Egos stuff very much (mostly because I wouldn't know where to even begin), but this is still a very enjoyable story without that knowledge. Though there's one twist that I wish I'd seen coming, that had me going back chapters to reread wondering if there was something I'd missed...

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Your Friendly Neighbourhood Cryptid

Roman is determined to prove that his friend Patton's fears of a spider cryptid in the forest was unfounded, so joined by his best friend (and maybe crush) Janus, he ventures into the forest at night. Surprisingly, the night takes a surprising twist.

----

| Ao3 |

Warnings: Spider imagery, slightly creepy, and one slightly suggestive comment right at the end but nothing like, bad.

Pairings: Anaroceit

Word Count: 1336

Notes:

Hello everyone!!

This is a very short little fic for day 2 of @anaroceitweek!! This is for the prompt 'Conspiricy' which makes me think of Cryptids haha, and Cryptid Virgil is very very fun :3

This is a very silly short fic I wrote in one sitting haha - I still really like it though! I hope you do too :3

----

“Why are we out here again?” Janus drawled as he pushed back a tree branch with his gloved hand, climbing over a root in the dark. Roman shone his flashlight down so that they could see where they were walking. The forest behind the suburbs where Roman lived was fairly thick and mostly unmanaged, so there weren’t any proper paths to follow.

“You’re the one who chose to come out here with me,” Roman huffed as he climbed down a little ridge, “You didn’t have to be here.”

“Oh certainly not, but seeing your face when Patton is proven right will be worth it I’m sure,” He said with a shrug and a grin as Roman shot a glare behind him at his best friend/maybe crush. It was hard for Roman to see in the darkness, so he wasn’t entirely sure exactly where Janus was, but he was sure that he’d seen the glare. 

“Well you’ve wasted your time, then, because I’m right,” He said, hopping onto a boulder and then hopping to another one, “There are no weird creepy horrifying spider cryptids out here in this forest.”

“Careful,” Janus said, making Roman stop just before he walked face first into a giant spider web. 

“Oh haha,” Roman said, turning so he could walk around the other side of the tree the web was attached to, “Next you’ll be telling me the spider creature made that.”

“Mhm,” Janus nodded, grinning a little as Roman frowned.

Well… there were certainly a lot of webs in this forest, Roman had never actually come this deep before. He was determined, however, to prove to his friend Patton that there were no scary spider creatures in the forest out to get him. For some reason Janus, who seemed to believe Patton���s theories for whatever reason despite how unfounded they were, had come along as well. 

Roman heard something that sounded like a distant clicking and a woosh, as though something had run past. Turning to look in the direction of the sound, however, gained him nothing, even as he swept his flashlight around the clearing they were in. Other than the number of spiderwebs present, he saw nothing, and dismissed it as some kind of woodland creature, maybe a possum, those were creepy as hell. 

“I wonder what that was,” Janus said, in a tone that Roman thought sounded incredibly condescending and honestly that was just unnecessary. 

Roman shrugged anyway, though, “Probably just a regular, normal forest creature.”

“Mmmhm, if you say so,” Janus shrugged. The clicking sound was back, followed by a soft rumble and another few clicks, Roman whipped around, trying to figure out the source of the sound. 

After a long moment of silence, Roman yelped and reeled back a little as his eyes met another pair in the underbrush - a pair with piercing white pupils and softly glowing purple irises - plus black sclera, as if that wasn’t creepy enough already. 

“What the fuck…” Roman whispered as he noticed a second, third and fourth pair of the same eyes open, he took a step back and ended up grabbing onto Janus’ arm.

“Hello there,” Janus said, only then did Roman realise he was smirking, “You can come out, he won’t hurt you.”

Roman’s eyes widened as he looked from Janus to the eyes. He wouldn’t hurt it?? He was slightly more worried about the other way around, actually. 

In a way that was almost shy, the creature stepped into Roman’s torch beam, making him gasp. 

He was humanoid and tall - taller than both Janus and Roman by a long way. Roman thought he must be at least seven foot tall - he had to have been crouching before. 

His hair was pitch black, but the texture looked to be curled, almost frizzy. In the light of the torch Roman could see that his skin was mostly a light, pastel purple, through which darker veins could be seen, making his skin look almost like marble, though down his arms his skin got darker and darker - until at his fingertips it was pitch black. His limbs too were oddly proportioned, in a way that looked just ‘off’ to Roman, he looked like a person, he was shaped like a person, but his arms and legs were too long and it gave Roman an odd uncanny feeling as he looked at him. Mostly, though, he was just…. Incredibly intrigued. 

“Woah,” Roman said softly, staring wide eyed, “You’re uh… real?”

“Last I checked?” He said, seeming… weirdly nervous as all eight of his eyes blinked. Roman thought he should have probably found it creepy, the cryptid - because that’s the only thing that it could have been (Roman might have been wrong, but he wasn’t about to say that out loud).

“You’re… beautiful,” He said, to the surprise of basically everyone there as he slowly detached from Janus to approach. The spider guy looked shocked as Roman walked up, circling him before stopping to look up at him, “Wow…” He said softly.

“Wh-what?” the creature said, turning his head to track Roman but not fully turning around. Janus was smirking in the background, “Hey - you cut it out, stop smirking at me.”

“I told you he’d like you,” Janus said, sounding very smug. Roman looked back at him. 

“You were in on this?” He asked, glaring at him, “You knew?”

Shrugging, Janus walked over, placing a hand on the spider’s arm, “Well I’d hope so, considering we’re dating.”

“You what??”

“Are you gonna be surprised by everything?” The spider guy asked, tilting his head.

“Well- I- yeah, actually, I am!” He said, eyes wide, the cryptid startled a little bit, “I just found out the spider cryptid in the woods is real and apparently dating my best friend!”

“And beautiful, don’t forget that,” Janus hummed, Roman went bright pink.

“I- Oh my god, I’m sorry-” He said, looking between Janus and the thing, “I didn’t mean to hit on your cryptid boyfriend.”

With a snort, Janus shook his head, even the spider was smiling.

“It’s fine,” He said, “And I’m Virgil, by the way - um, if you really want to hit on me you can.”

“What.”

“I mean, I’m just saying, I don’t mind,” He defended, “I mean - it’s fine if not, I know you humans are weird about monogamy sometimes, but-”

“No no no - that’s not the problem,” Roman said, raising his hands, he was perfectly happy with polyamory, he’d experimented with it before in a relationship and found it appealed to him (though the lack of communication in that particular relationship had put him off a while)

“I’m okay with it too,” Janus said, “If that’s the problem, you are… fine.”

“That’s Janus talk for ‘I like you’,” Virgil translated, making both Janus and Roman turn beet red. 

“So, wait,” Roman said, putting up his hands, “Let me figure this out.”

Both of them nodded. 

“So you,” He gestured to Virgil, “Are a spider cryptid who lives out here in the woods?”

“Mhm,”

“And you,” He gestures to Janus, “Are dating him?”

“Yes,” Janus nodded.

“So…. was this whale thing just a ploy to get me out here?”

“Potentially,” Janus smirked, Roman groaned, “Well - Patton’s fears are very real, of course, and him asking you for help was simply convenient, so I talked to Virgil about it - because normally you wouldn’t have found anything.”

“He told me he had a really cute friend he thought I’d like who was coming out ‘cryptid hunting’ in the forest tonight so I agreed to actually show up.”

“And?” Roman asked.

“And…?”

“And… do you like me?” Roman asked, leaning forward a little, Virgil smirked.

“Yeah,” He said with a shrug, “I believe so, do… you like me? Janus said you would.”

Smirking, Roman nodded, “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I do - but uh… I’ve never dated a cryptid before…”

“Oh trust me, it’s a lot of fun,” Janus grinned, making Virgil blush a deeper, richer purple colour. Roman giggled.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

----

Tags: @full-of-roman-angst-trash @your-local-random-dino @cutebisexualmess @glacierruler @roseianxiety @bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti @scalesfeathersnfur @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @littlerat2 ( if anyone wants to be added, let me know!)

[delimeful]

Im rereading nitwiwd and Its finally struck me how odd it is that Virgil is alive. The Man has not eaten anything in Months (or possibly years)?

I can see him ignoring human flesh and the craving going away but he still needs to eat. It has been emphasized that he IS hungry. Which makes me wonder what the deal is with demons in this world anyways. We have not been shown anything about them. Only that they are very varied in shape and size. And our Dear Demon is NOT a good baseline on how demons are/ what they need. Bc I dont trust him to take care of himself either.

I very much in love with this story and all you other ones :D

so, i feel you on the worldbuilding! i'm actually pulling a lot of the demon stuff from the actual demon slayer anime that this fic is a fusion of, kimetsu no yaiba. one of the protagonist characters, nezuko, is also turned into a demon & manages to not eat people through crazy strong willpower, and she spends a lot of the series asleep when she's not fighting. i believe the implication is that because demons are magic and don't really need food the same way humans do, she's regaining energy through sleeping?

to be real with you, the kny worldbuilding is kind of all over the place. sometimes demons can transform you into a large spider, sometimes they can control the gravity of an entire house, sometimes they can turn their body into a train, etc. also sometimes they're just a slightly weird-looking guy who's strong, regenerates, and eats people. it varies. there's no real limits on demonic abilities, and i think it's implied that the only reason they eat humans at all is to instinctively get stronger, so being able to survive on no food doesn't seem that out-there for a creature of the night.

afaik the demons in kny can't eat normal food because it tastes disgusting or something?*

*disclaimer: i am not a demon slayer expert & it's been a while since i've seen or read the source material

[asksanderssides]

What's everyone's favorite animal(s)? My favorite myth animals are dragons and unicorns, and general sea monsters, and my favorite real animals are crows, cats, and snakes !!

Roman: Dragons and unicorns are brilliant creatures, I've created a lot of them in the Imagination over the years. As for real animals, lions are my favourite - they're brave and courageous, just like me! Virgil, don't look at me like that, I am brave and courageous!

Virgil: Sure you are, Princey. Anyway, spiders are obviously my favourite animal, I keep a load of them in my room.

Logan: I find bugs and fish rather interesting, and I am quite fond of crows, they are extremely intelligent birds.

Patton: Puppies! And kittens! They're just the purr-fect animals, right Lo?

Logan: Can we be done with this question now? Please?