#also I really do want to get my degree in histories and while most of the professors i’ve had are chill i don’t wanna risk it 😅

[kyescurls]

Do ya’ll think if I turn in a comprehensive paper about South Park (in reference to the last two decades of US history and culture) at the end of the semester to my history professor, that he’ll fail my ass?

Asking for a friend 🤡

[interact-if]

Our fourth edition of the Black History Month Author Spotlight series, features Becky (@losergames)!

(I’ve been in awe of Becky’s multi-talents (art, writing, coding, excuse me??) for a long time now, and am super excited to get to interview her and introduce her awesome game, Chop Shop! The portion on morality and finding a middle-ground between harmful stereotypes of “bad” POC characters and angelic, one-dimensional ones who can do no wrong was a really interesting and insightful take.)

Author: Becky

Hello hello!!! I’m Becky! I am a black bisexual woman from the UK, lover of games, TV and food. I have a Bachelor's degree in Animation & Visual Effects and currently work as a technician at a college 😁

Games: Chop Shop (crime, action, LGBTQ+, meaningful choices)

Short blurb: A crime action interactive fiction game.

Quote from the interview

There are a few main themes I keep in mind about when writing Chop Shop but the big one I think everyone understands is morality. What is right and wrong, and the various shades of grey in between, has been written about a thousand times in a thousand ways but it is continuously interesting to me in a changing world. What does it mean to be a bad person doing good things and a good person doing bad things? Is there a chance for redemption? What are the consequences? Race and class are also massive factors, made all the more complicated when we’re looking at sets of characters on either side of the PC’s life. I want to write black and other characters of colour make bad, questionable, and unredeemable decisions whilst also remaining aware of stereotypes and archetypes. I want them to be loud, messy, and rude, attributes that are always attached to minorities, but I also want them to be smart, calculating, and deceptive. I think a lot of people are scared to do so and we end up with plain, can-do-no-wrongers that lack any depth.

Read on for the full interview!

Can you tell me a bit about what you’re working on right now and your journey into interactive fiction? What inspired the game/story you’re currently writing?

I am currently working on the crime action interactive fiction Chop Shop. There are a mix of inspirations that went into Chop Shop but above all else I’d say the kicker was my circumstances at the time.

During covid I walked away from the WORST job I’ve ever had and moved back home, which I realised a while after was an extremely huge blessing. I had a major burnout and was processing what my ex-managers had put me and my colleagues through. So, in my freetime I was playing a lot of cyoa/ romance games (shoutout Love Island the game) and found a whole fandom that also enjoyed them. 

I made some friends, did art commissions, and wrote some fanfic here and there, yadda yadda. A close friend recommended I try out a very popular COG game at the time (🧛) and it all spiraled from there. I fell in love with the format, endless creativity, and community and never looked back.

I loved the Need For Speed games as a kid, the og Most Wanted, Carbon, and Underground 2 are, in my eyes, amongst the masterpieces of games from the 2000s. It got to the point I was going over to friends houses just to play on their PS2 lmao. I am also a Fast and Furious fiend (shock) and I will defend that god awful series till I die. Fast forward to being a teenager/ young adult I’ve become a massive fan of fictional crime shows. Breaking Bad will always be my first love, but I also love The Sopranos, Fargo, The Wire and more.

How has your identity, heritage/background, upbringing, or personal experiences influenced your storytelling or writing process? OR How does your work feature aspects of your identity / experience?

The real catalyst for Chop Shop was my previous job. A lot of the PC’s experiences are based off my own. A few examples I love sharing are how I had to make breakfast for my boss every morning and had to keep the office freezer stocked with a specific supermarket ice lolly because he ‘needed’ one every day at 3pm. I truly wish I was making this up because people think I’m crazy when I tell them. But I really was catering to a man-child because I was desperately trying to get my foot into a creative industry. Woof!!!

That said, the industry I wanted to work in was and still is extremely competitive. I came out of uni with a tonne of friends, but also a tonne of competition. It stung very badly to see my peers excel and surpass me when it came to careers but that’s just a part of becoming an adult. That life really was not for me and I’m glad I’m out of it now.

My mother is an extremely influential person in my life. Bits and pieces of her stick with me, not just in my writing but my every day. She’s worked in corporate all her life, from the early 80s and still to this day. She laughs about it now but she tells stories about the times she was laughed out of meetings or undermined by subordinates because she was a black woman in positions that were not occupied by minorities. It hurts to think about but I can only dream of having the type of strength she does.

Now that I think about it, Chop Shop is a massive fuck you to the past.

Are there any specific themes or messages you hope players take away from your work?

There are a few main themes I keep in mind about when writing Chop Shop but the big one I think everyone understands is morality. What is right and wrong, and the various shades of grey in between, has been written about a thousand times in a thousand ways but it is continuously interesting to me in a changing world. What does it mean to be a bad person doing good things and a good person doing bad things? Is there a chance for redemption? What are the consequences?

Race and class are also massive factors, made all the more complicated when we’re looking at sets of characters on either side of the PC’s life. I want to write black and other characters of colour make bad, questionable, and unredeemable decisions whilst also remaining aware of stereotypes and archetypes. I want them to be loud, messy, and rude, attributes that are always attached to minorities, but I also want them to be smart, calculating, and deceptive. I think a lot of people are scared to do so and we end up with plain, can-do-no-wrongers that lack any depth.

What does your writing process look like? Any rituals or habits? Any tips, tricks, philosophies or approaches that have worked very well for you?

I write way better outside of my bedroom. I know writing is supposed to be fun and a hobby but sometimes it’s… not. If I get stressed out in my room, it’s all a mess. The brain needs to be away from where I sleep to get work done. Last summer, when all the teachers were on holiday time, I was the only one in my department for weeks and it was the best writing stint I ever had haha.

Oh and I keep a huge spreadsheet. All the episode breakdowns, outlines, character details etc. It looks insane to anyone else but it is my prized baby.

Do you have favourite interactive fiction games, characters, scenes or authors that you’d like to recommend?

My goto game rec is always 180 Files: The Aegis Project. So quick and punchy, more narrative/plot than romance focused. The action sequences are fun and the interactions are so delicious, ugh. I love it. I’ve played it at least 20 times to get the different endings and it’s never not satisfying, just… chefs kiss. I’m also really enjoying Thicker Than right now AAHHH I NEED TO CATCH UP!!! 

Any books, music, movies etc. you’re obsessed with at the moment, or which changed your life (or perspectives on something)?

Not anything specific but I do have some books I’d like to recommend to my fellow black readers:

The Psychosis of Whiteness: Surviving the Insanity of a Racist World by Nicola Rollock

Black Skin, White Masks by Franz Fanon

The Strangers: Five Extraordinary Black Men and the Worlds That Made Them by Ekow Eshun

Black England: A Forgotten Georgian History by Gretchen Gerzina

The Hard Road To Renewal by Stuart Hall

Honestly I’d recommend anything by Stuart Hall lmao. RIP king, you would be shocked at the media literacy today.

This-or-that segment: (bold = Becky's pick)

Coffee or tea?

Early mornings or late nights?

City or countryside?

Angsty or Cozy romances? (Or enemies-to-lovers or best-friends-to-lovers?)  

Steady progress or frenzied binge-writing followed by periods of calm?

Summer or Winter?

First drafts or editing?

Introvert or extrovert?

Plotter or pantser?

Characters or plot first?

Becky’s custom “either-or” pairing: Driver or passenger?

[alpaca-clouds]

Solarpunk Autumns. Solarpunk Winters.

Solarpunk as a genre exists in a state of a permanent summer. Both as a genre, and an aesthetic. Solarpunk pictures usually show us worlds that have everything in so many shades of green. Green bushes. Green trees. Green everything. Fields in Solarpunk are always filled with ripe corn and wheat. And trees in Solarpunk are full of ripe fruit.

But if we look into Solarpunk worldbuilding there is also the fact that of course at some point at many places of the world it will become autumn, and winter.

I mean, I am feeling it right now, sitting here in my bed with three blankets and shivering, as the summer has very suddenly ended.

Sure, Solarpunk originated from Brazil. And while I do not know a whole lot about Brazillian climate, I do understand that it is close enough to the equator to be fairly warm yearround.

But I honestly would love to see more stories and artworks set in Solarpunk worlds during the autumn and winter. Especially because it is a very interesting topic when it comes to both the renewable energies and the food systems of Solarpunk worlds.

Now, admittedly, the renewable energy is less interesting to me, but we still should talk about it. In winter and autumn a lot of the renewable energy sources are a bit less viable. The sun has less energy and the further north (or south) you go, the less sun you get during the winter. Wind turbines also often struggle because there is in fact too much wind - and some older turbines do not do too well during harsh winter conditions. Water usually has less of a problem, unless the water energy is created in shallow conditions where the water freezes. But of course, there is nuclear energy to take care of most issues, even if everything else fails - even though some people still do not want to hear about it.

The food aspect is a lot more interesting though, especially from a modern point of view.

Because we people today are very used to eating the same stuff year around. Like potatoes, carrots, bellpeppers, tomatoes, cabbage, oranges, apples, pears, and bananas are usually available in the supermarket no matter when you go there. But of course we also know that those only are there because of the rather destructive ways we use to cultivate food and bring it to us. These things usually are grown somewhere closer to the equator and then are brought to Europe/North America via plane, emitting a lot more CO2.

Of course, this is a fairly new development. For the most of human history, nobody - or only the very richest people - had access to imported food like that. So instead they would only eat was either was available in their own country and their own fields right now, or that they could conserve in some way or form.

And frankly... I think that is something I would like to see some more off in Solarpunk media. In people not needing everything to be available all the time. And people also working to conserve food in one way or another to make it last longer.

Also I do want to bring it up again: There were a lot of well known "winter vegetables" in Europe during most of our history there. Stuff that would get ripe in late autumn and would keep rather well. And a lot of those vegetables have been forgotten.

So... Yeah, I really would see that issue discussed a bit more.

And sure, we might be able to worldbuild around the issue in some degree with greenhouses and stuff. But I think it would be nice to just question our relation with the always available foods.

[tofupixel]

I recently started learning to use rpg maker (vx ace!) and as a result have become increasingly interested in pixel art. I hadn't really done pixel work since my teens - I do more digital painting and vector art - so while I'm a little familiar and can do passable editing, there's a lot I don't know.

One thing that's kind of perplexing for me is understanding the differences in style between two creators of pixel art. I studied art history and I'm used to the differences being things like brush stroke length or degree of realism... I feel like I'm lacking in lexicon in this new frontier lol

What nuances of an artist do you think are most important to style in pixel art?

This kind of stuff is not really officially studied (yet) so it's all a bit of opinion from me.

Usually in pixel art the biggest differences in styles are which limitations the artists choose to impose on themselves; colour count, resolution, palette... Or more stylistic choices like hue shifting, anti-aliasing style or no, dithering or no, etc.

I personally think there are a huge variety of styles in pixel art, as it's literally just a medium, and I hope you'll agree by the end 8)

Also (imo) there is some seperation between the styles of art for art's sake, and art for videogames, where things have to be clear and readable to be actually playable.

🎮 Old school games:

Sometimes referred to as something like '8-bit' or '16-bit' (relating to the NES era / SNES era consoles), these artstyles usually follow the rules and limitations of the hardware at the time.

This all falls under retro art, most popular styles include: NES, SNES, GB, GBC, C64

Notable artists: Nickwoz, Sandy Gordon, Franken, Cisco

📚 Old school art:

There were also events called Demoscene (still are), where developers would go to a big convention and share their demos. A lot of pixel art competitions were held here, where artists would draw live.

Generally they used to favour a high realism/semirealism style, with lots of texture/dithering, fairly high resolution (if the hardware allowed for it), and adjacent pixels mostly being different from one another.

There are even older styles than this but they are fairly niche and I'm not that well educated. If interested look into some of the old PCs/consoles.

⭐ Modern pixel art:

Usually using more colours and higher resolution, larger clusters of pixels instead of individual ones. Strong use of art fundamentals.

Artists to look at: Adam Ferguson (yes it is pixel art), Snake, Slym, 6VCR, Yes I do Pixels, Gijotto, SovanJedi, JoeCreates, Franek, @8pxl

the rest below are "modern" pixel artists too but I think they have other things in their style that are a bit different!

🎨 Painterly:

Some artists choose to emulate the natural brushstrokes digitally, and keep their clusters large and loose. Usually don't focus on the minute details as much.

@makrustic, @hexh-pixel, Umbohr, Gawrone

🟦 Dithering

These artists all use dithering / texture in ways that make their styles totally unique.

Deceiver, Night, Reo,

💥 Experimental

These artists are always trying new things and honing in on their unique style.

AJ, hby, @ilta222, Alphons

I could really go on for ever, there are so many different styles, cute pixel art, horror pixel art, 1bit (2 colours only), and then adding animation takes it even further, but I think you get the idea

If you want to learn more, the Masters of Pixel Art books have works /interviews from pixel artists of different eras, including demoscene and contemporary.

😊👍

[celtrist]

Hazbin & Helluva Vs. Aromanticism

(Aka: I have a problem with the Spindlehorse team about this, not shippers.)

(Also this is mainly about Alastor but can go for Octavia and Mammon too.)

Alright, so I've cleaned up this uh... rant, to make things a little more clear hopefully. But to summarize here, this is about the team's lack of commitment when every other character is allowed full confirmation of their orientations but these (potentially) aromantic characters aren't.

While I have no beef with shippers (I think you can ship whoever with whoever you want, I ship Alastor too on occasion), there is some conversation about how the fandom might be a bit of a reason WHY they "can't" be confirmed as aro. But again, my main problem is more with the showrunners than the fandom at this point about this.

I'll also be getting into why it's "important" and the double standards against characters being aromantic.

This is not an attack, ship however way you wish (again, I do it myself). My intent isn't really to stop the shipping, that would be ridiculous. But more so to give my thoughts on why it's BS characters like Alastor can't be confirmed as aromantic when other characters are allowed confirmed orientations.

I will start off by saying I don't mind the shipping of Alastor. While it's NOBODY'S business but mine, I suppose it's important to clarify that I'm someone who does currently identify as aroace. I might be wrong but who cares, it's how I think of myself now at least to some degree (I do after all still have fictional crushes. Real-life romance is not an interest for me though, don't like 'em).

I'm gonna get what I don't think people talk about enough on both sides of being for and against shipping Alastor, and then I'll talk about the shippers as they're (I realized) not my main issue at this point.

A little history: So Alastor has been long time confirmed as an ace character. He hasn't been confirmed as being sex-repulsed or anything, but I can personally say I don't mind either flavor of him being repulsed or favorable (though I imagine the series will lean towards the former to counter everyone else's sex-favorable attitude and for jokes). This statement was initially taken VERY poorly by fans who, at the time, were shipping radiodust and radiobelle/charlastor, one more than the other. Care to take a guess which? The answer will not surprise you.

But then people realized "Oh, asexual doesn't mean he COULDN'T get with someone" and people even went further to "Being asexual doesn't mean he CAN'T have sex", both very true statements. So shipping was back on the menus boys! And his asexual was certainly blurred a bit (to the point where it wasn't even him being sex-favorable asexual as much as just not asexual, something that still happens but certainly not as bad). But overall, people were taking his canonicity as asexual with as much grace as a duck.

So here's where MY problem comes in. While I have some gripes with shippers, I had an epiphany that "Oh. It's not really the shippers I have a problem with. It's the people WRITING THE DAMN CHARACTER". Which, might I just say, is so much worst.

The shippers, while they got annoying at some points and certainly can be still, are just having fun. Because shipping just happens to be the way most people like to interact with characters in the media they're into. Hell, I am no different. I just have the misfortune of only really getting into rarepairs most of the time (curse you my bizarre tastes). I've even shipped with Alastor, I like AngelicSmile/radiojoy quite a bit.

Back on track. Now, what do I mean by my main problem being with the writers more than the fans with this? Well, queue this darling of a clip about the topic (this is the only clip I've found of the live stream, feel free to watch the whole video but just wanted the clip here).

This. Single. Clip. Infuriates me.

Vivzi, while I'm sure not meant to, pretty much implied "Alastor being aromantic and 'non-shippable' would ruin people's fun". I'm sure she meant it as a way to keep others from policing shippers (which didn't work, it still happens), it really just reads as "a character being aromantic is not a fun character". Like there's something wrong with being aro.

Not to mention some other things that would contradict this statement:

Viv in the past said "fans are allowed to ship outside character orientations", so... what makes that so different here with confirming Alastor as aromantic?

It being confirmed is not relevant to the plot. Great, so is every other orientation not relevant. Why can't Alastor be confirmed as aromantic but Vaggie can be confirmed as a lesbian or Vox bi? What does Vox being bisexual have to do with the plot? Neither is relevant to the plot, but one can be confirmed but not the other?

People were gonna ship him ANYWAY. Like, there's really no point in pretending. They were going to anyway because of the first point I already mentioned, but also people ship against canon orientations ALL THE TIME. It's just gonna happen and there's nothing wrong with that in of itself.

You've kind of just implied it's canon by not wanting to say specifically him being aromantic is canon or not. If Viv had just said "I don't wanna confirm his romantic orientation because...", then this statement would be fine and fair I suppose. But she had to call out him being aromantic specifically. And I mean, he COULD be something else (he was slated to be a couple with Mimzy originally after all), but the context doesn't seem like that would be the case. Plus, would she really feel the need to hold back from saying "Alastor is homoromantic" or biromantic or heteroroman- actually yes for that last one probably.

So riddle me this, with these points, why the FUCK would it be so wrong to confirm Alastor as a canonically aromantic icon and help get MORE REP for this very very very VERY underrepresented orientation? And I've thought of a few reasons to this, one of which being to avoid the same backlash that they got for Alastor being ace. Which, DID HAPPEN WHEN THE VOICE ACTOR AND SOMEONE ELSE ON THE SHOW CONFIRMED ALASTOR AS AROMANTIC BUT BACKTRACKED ON THE STATEMENT.

To which, fine. THAT'S on the fans (especially as no one would've complained if he was confirmed as homoromantic, which is a double standard VERY PRESENT in this fandom, but also many others quite honestly). But I can see another reason is to avoid others policing shippers about it.

Which, if that's the case, shit luck it's happening anyway.

To cower away from this orientation because of fans being upset says a lot, both about the fans and the creators. There is a whisper of "Alastor isn't allowed to be aromantic". That "being aro isn't allowed or appreciated".

We live in a world that at this point has a lot more lgbtq+ characters than ever before. At this point, there's just a lot of gay/lesbian and bi characters, and that's wonderful. But, there's barely a handful of aroace characters. And when they are, nobody wants to pay attention to that part of the character. So why can't the deer man be aromantic? I would imagine it would honestly make things a little better ship wise because ship wars wouldn't occur seeing as, well, there's no ship to be fought for. None of them could be canon.

So you might see where I'm leading into this, but I can only really think of one real reason Alastor being aromantic just "can't be confirmed" where as everyone else's orientations can be.

His popularity. Like, that's weird but walk with me here. Alastor is the most popular character in the fandom. There's honestly no denying it, he just is. And what do people do with the most popular character?

THEY SHIP THEM OFF IN A LOVEBOAT.

But wait, if he's aromantic, he can't be on a love boat. THIS IS BS-

And then... the outcry. And we HAVE seen this happen. I mentioned before, he was stated to be aromantic on two occasions by two people who work on the show, one of which is his voice actor (which I'll be fair, I personally don't think VAs always know the characters they play the best, that's the writers). But they had to backpedal because people DID complain. People WERE upset. So it's kind of shown just aromantism isn't really welcomed, at the very least not for a character like Alastor.

And that's the key: "Not for a character like Alastor". But if it were say, Niffty or Mimzy who are either overlooked or just not very popular, THEN it's probably more than okay for a character to be aromantic. Because no one wants to ship with them much, so they can be aromantic all they want.

AKA. The aro community is allowed the scraps but not the dinner.

At this point, you've probably noticed I switched gears from the creators to the fans because I DO think they could be a reason why Alastor "can't" be confirmed as Aromantic. I'll give credit, I'm pretty sure it's mainly on twitter and wouldn't be surprised if it was a "loud minority" thing going on, but the people have spoken. They vehemently cannot STAND the idea of Alastor being aromantic.

But I don't have a problem with these people quite honestly- I mean I kinda do, but my main issue is the lack of commitment when the other characters are allowed confirmed orientations. Why can't aromantic people get confirmed rep? Because "it'll ruin people's fun?" That's such a crappy reason because it's just saying being aro is bad on some level or isn't okay. Why can't the aromantic community get the dinner this ONE TIME? It's one character in a pool of many others that are canonically gay or bi, so why can't the aro community have this ONE popular character?

I'm not even asking for people to stop shipping him, I think that's perfectly FINE. It wouldn't change the canon. I'd appreciate more LOVE given to the aromantic identity (and I'm talking about the far end of it, so absolutely NO interest in romance as many have used aro Alastor but it still comes off as just normal shipping, but that's just me). There's such a double standard to the treatment of aromantic characters to the other characters in these shows (because Octavia and Mammon are in the same boat here), and the reasons given are so crappy that they sound more like off-hand excuses.

Again, I don't MIND people shipping Alastor, or Octavia, or Mammon who is randomly shipped with Adam the most. Let me repeat:

YOU. ARE. ALLOWED. TO. SHIP. THESE. CHARACTER.

But what I have a problem with is that these characters aren't allowed to be OFFICIALLY aromantic. How would it feel if this was a gay character? That they didn't want to confirm it but there's been indications with past statements and even in-universe stuff indicating so? I WANT Viv and her team to STICK with what route they were gonna go with.

And some might argue "what's so bad with nothing being confirmed?" Other than the fact every other character's orientations are allowed confirmation and Viv's crappy way of putting it in not confirming anything. There's, by all technicalities, nothing wrong.

However, if I may pose a counter, why is it fair for people to demand or ask for gay representation or confirmation but not aromantic? Because it's "not ruining anything"? If that's the case, I'm inclined to say that may be a bit aphobic. Because how is it that a character being aromantic can "ruin" the character or something, but a character being gay DOESN'T "ruin" the character. It's a double standard that I don't think most people realize or want to say because you don't want to be dissing on gay stuff.

But WAKE UP SHEEPLE. The gay stuff has PLENTY of things by this point. Whether through fan works or official media, it is growing and it is growing rapidly. And we should be HAPPY about that. But alternatively, Aromantic (and asexual) rep BARELY gets any attention in either fan works or official media. People would be UPSET if a ship like Angel Dust X Vaggie or Stolas X Verosika got into one of the top most popular ships. But Alastor? Nah, it's fine.

Again, while I don't mind the shipping itself, hopefully, you can understand how it might feel to see one of the most popular ships involve a character that goes against their orientation and it's YOUR orientation. It doesn't. Feel. Great.

And not everyone who ships Alastor even would LIKE him to end up with who they ship. Some people just like it staying in fanon. I have met SO MANY nice people who ship Alastor with characters that I personally don't really like him shipped with. But it's clear that I don't think THEY'D mind if he was confirmed aromantic because it doesn't change their life. They'll still keep shipping him because that's fun for them and that's FINE. People explore themselves through characters with confirmed orientations and they don't always line up with canon, and that's FINE. I don't think people should be policed on shipping with the deer man, they're just having fun. Would I appreciate a little more love for the aro identity? Sure (I mean just look at Alastor's ship weeks activeness vs. his aro week activeness), but if that's not how people have fun they shouldn't be forced to do stuff with it.

But Alastor being seemingly "not allowed" to be confirmed as aro has set a precedent that there's something wrong with being aromantic. And personally, it makes me feel a tad unwelcomed sometimes.

It's the precedents. Again, why is every other character's orientation allowed to be confirmed but Alastor's isn't? What is so wrong with him being aromantic? Hell, he might not even BE aromantic. But at least I'd KNOW instead of floundering around hoping upon a star for some aromantic representation.

It's okay to be gay but- WHOA HOLD YOUR HORSES THERE. WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO PUT A PAUSE IN THAT ARO BUSINESS YOU GOT THERE.

A character's worth is in how shippable they are. And if they're aromantic, they're not shippable. And unfortunately, there are just enough people to throw a hissy fit about it that Viv doesn't want to confirm it.

Because apparently being aromantic would "ruin" things.

[creatingblackcharacters]

Sorry to bother, I felt it was better to ask here than your main. Not to be so blunt but, what's your method for doing research? Done you have any advice for someone with adhd or attention span issues? I feel I've tried everything. i have adhd and struggle with studying and note taking, i can go on entire rabbit holes but retaining the information is a problem (even saving information, i have so many bookmarks and tabs but i don't remember for what lol), your lessons are very informative and has been helpful! you said your research takes a while but the end results are so well done. I want to do my own research for my own essays and personal projects, but this was something I always struggled with in HS... I'm no longer in school so the pressure of a deadline isn't entirely there anymore so I'm in no rush for a long answer! have a good rest of your day!

I feel like this gonna be a disappointing answer 😅 well, part of it really was just being taught how to take notes. When I was an 8th grader, I had a history teacher who said he would teach us to take notes by speaking them, and the most important things he'd say three times, but that's it. Not a PowerPoint, nothing. Dare I say it, I learned how to take outlines better and it has lasted me my entire life. (Granted I like history and I enjoyed listening to him talk bc his voice was pleasant)

But I also... Think in outlines, if that makes sense. It makes me less stressed than just a Mass of Information, when you break it down. So what I'll do is I'll start with random notes that fall under one topic on my phone. Then, as time goes on and I add more things, it sort of starts to break down into categories. Rather than keeping up the tabs (because tabs and notifications stress me TF out) I just save the URL under the category and move on. So I now know whatever this is, it falls under this point. I'll essentially organize "beginning", "points", "conclusion".

Once the outline gets too large (subjective, when I feel like I'm overwhelmed) I move it to a word doc and make it an actual outline. When I feel like it, I eventually go back and fill in the details, read the articles at hand. Thing about the articles is, you gotta be able to skim well. Not just skim quickly to say you read it; but to be able to say "out of all of this, this section here and here will strengthen my essay". I admit I do read fast though, but I also read multiple times. No need to rush- you're here to understand, not pass a test. So I might go "today, I want to focus on reading stuff within Category 2".

As for attention span issues, I deal with that by doing shit when I want, and also doing what little I can manage. Anything is better than zero. If all you can do that day is five minutes of review, so be it. Make it count. But I also am the type of person who will go from "five minutes every week" to "I'm at the computer obsessed for six hours" so that's probably not helpful 😅

If it helps, I've got a whole Masters degree. I've had to work hard and practice note taking and retention, via what works for me. You don't have to hold yourself to that strict of a standard for research that you enjoy, I just do what I'm used to from academia. Plus this is all stuff that I've lived- it's easy to retain information when it's literally your life, versus something wholly new.

[safety-pin-punk]

Ya know. Its been a while since I talked about The Punk Sharing Space community that I created back in August of last year. I think it’s time I do, to some degree at least. 

I think most of you know this, but for those that don’t, I left the community. Quite a few months ago actually. Maybe around New Years? I did it silently. I didn’t tell my mods. I still feel bad about that actually, but I had my reasons. Some of those reasons were personal. I was dealing with my dad’s death, I was very sick, I injured my ankle badly again, I was overwhelmed with moving and a promotion at work. But some of those reasons were because of the community itself. And that's really what I wanted to talk about with this post. 

(Still doesn’t excuse me not reaching out to my mods, and if any of you see this - I’m truly sorry.)

I guess it’s important to talk about why I made the community in the first place. I wanted to try out the new feature of course, but also, I thought it would be a great place for people to come together, get to know each other. Help each other. And most importantly, share DIYs, music, and ideas. Partially, I think it was also a distraction for me at the time. From my own life and grief. Throwing myself into this blog and a new project. Which of course resulted in a lot of burn out that I’m really only now getting back from.

At the time of writing this, The Punk Sharing Space has almost 12k members. That is a LOT. Managing that many members is… well… hard. I found it hard to manage it with just the few hundred people that joined in a matter of a month. That’s why I had went about finding moderators. I was careful with who I chose, I tried to be. I didn’t want to give permissions to someone who had a different view for the community than I did. For a little while, things were fine. Then. Suddenly they weren’t. And I was too overwhelmed and stressed out to deal with it. I don’t know what it was like from the view of an average person. 

But I was fully aware of the sudden debates of what is and isn’t punk. Of what should or shouldn’t be allowed. Who was a poser. Who was an asshole and who was just expressing their opinions. Are politics allowed? The flood of messages from members reporting other members for simple things that they disagreed with or disliked. Some of the reports were absolutely valid. Some really weren’t and were just the result of people who were generally uninformed of the history of punk, gatekeeping, etc.. I left. It was too much and I couldn’t keep up, step up, and hold it together.

Truthfully, I should have just deleted the community. And I’m disappointed by what became of it after I left. It’s no one’s fault. Not the mods. Not the members. Not tumblr. Its just what happens when online spaces get too big and have ambiguous guidelines. I’ve seen a lot of posts and a lot of people complaining about whats become of The Punk Sharing Space, and I don’t blame them. Comments like “Its rude and toxic.”, “Can’t be worse than the Sharing space community. That place is a trainwreck.”, “is ___ punk? I’m going to beat you to death with a rock. yes this is about the punk sharing space.”, “another punk sharing space classic. ngl i only over check it to hateread.”, “the punk sharing space is exciting in the way watching fish spawn or parasitic fungus taking over ants is fascinating. Make a whole new insect zoo but with gatekeepers.”

And. None of them are really wrong. To some degree, each and every comment here is correct. The space is full of gatekeeping, toxicity, bad advice, and trolls. Despite everything I wanted it to be. It's almost like watching a social experiment fail. Which I suppose is, in some ways, inevitable. I’m not going to tell people to leave the community, but I will at least warn people to be wary. Don’t trust everything. Use common sense. Don’t let the assholes and the gatekeepers get to you. 

That’s all I really have to say. I don’t know quite what my goal was in writing this, but I felt I needed to. Explain why I left. Point out that it isn’t what it was ever meant to be. Apologize for letting it get to this point. @/polyamorouspunk I think says it best really. “Key usually has more faith in humanity than me.” And its true. I wanted to see what we could create. I wanted to see the best of people come together. And instead I got an overwhelming nightmare. I’ve moved past it now. I’ve learned my lessons. And despite it all, I still have hope for the future. Maybe not for the Punk Sharing Space, but for people. For people in real life. To do good and help others. To support each other instead of tearing each other down. And I can only hope that all of you do as well.

[danzinora-switch]

Bit of an odd question for you, but I can see you have more knowledge of RotTMNT than I do. Do you think Donnie lets people help him/be with him in the lab? I've seen it claimed in a few fics but I don't know how validated it is by "canon".

Oooh, it depends.

The best canon argument #1 is Mikey. In 'Bullhop', while they're talking to Bullhop while standing in Donnie's lab, there's a lot of orange cloth/clothes/fabric lying about, suggesting that it might be Mikey's stuff.

Mikey also assisted Donnie in building Todd's entire Puppy Sanctuary in 'Repo Mantis' - technically outside the lab, but still a large engineering project.

There's a dozen little details that imply how close those two are, working on various projects, schemes, etc. throughout the show. One of the most on-the-nose scenes that Mikey is the Igor to Donnie's Dr. Frankenstein actually comes from a script page shared by Ron Corcillo on Twitter for 'Gourd Almighty' (one of the axed-by-Nickelodeon episodes).

Mikey was totally in on whatever Donnie was working on.

So Mikey: definitely allowed to hang out and help out.

The second person would seem to be April, due to a lot of their shared projects. In 'Donnie vs Witch-Town' they scroll through a history of science projects they've worked on together. In 'The Purple Jacket' not only does Donnie help her out with her coding project at school, but he actively encourages her to use his tech. When she's flying the jetpack asking how it works, he replies "everyone's got their own style, just do what feels natural." I bank a LOT on this line: if everyone's got their own style, that implies that more people than just Donnie have at least used the jetpack. In fact, in 'Endgame' we see Leo riding one like a surfboard.

This segues into the general crux of Donnie's work: the VAST majority of his tech is not just for himself, but for others. The Turtle Tank features a chair specifically to Raph's lumbar settings, and motorcycles for Leo and Mikey. 'Donnie's Gifts' as an episode features presents backfiring spectacularly, but still shows him making tech for his bros. Shelldon is first presented as a gift for all of them, to help around the lair. Donnie is proud to present his tech and for people to use it. (What he doesn't like is for people to MISuse it; such as his brothers altering Shelldon, Splinter stealing the Turtle Tank, and Bullhop making a ruckus throughout his lab).

That, in my opinion, is the core distinction of Donnie allowing someone to help him out in the lab: that they are there to actually help, and not just be annoying.

In 'Mind Meld', when Donnie makes his brothers just like him, he is ecstatic at first, declaring it the greatest day of his life. And he's pretty surprised and impressed with what they come up with in his lab.

So yeah, Mikey seems to be there a lot because he genuinely wants to help out, and Donnie's good with that. But how often does Leo want to help out in the lab with the work? Less often, and so we don't really see him outside of being annoying (Leo tends to pan Donnie's work a lot, from talking about his pattern of failures in 'Smart Lair' to actually clarifying he's not being sarcastic when he says he things the Shellhogs are amazing in 'Stuck on You'. This implies he doesn't care as much about the nerdy things Donnie gets up to, and we also know Leo to value the lazy way of doing things, per 'One Man's Junk'). What about Raph? In 'Stuck on You', while we don't exactly know how they all ended up in a giant glue ball, to some degree it was planned by Raph as a teambuilding exercise. Not his brightest idea as no one was really happy about that. And in 'Cloak and Swaggart' it is further implied that Donnie's aware of a bad trend between Raph and shiny red buttons.

And yet, given how much Donnie makes tech with them each individually in mind, if ever Leo and Raph wanted to help Donnie out in the lab with a project I can't see why he would refuse them. He would probably be delighted that they're taking an interest in his work (as he shines EVERY TIME someone does), and would find something for them to do that matches their skill level and accounts for their accident-prone tendencies.

Really, the only people we see thrown out of the lab are the ones posing a risk or problem to the projects inside: Bullhop, indelicately breaking everything. Splinter, high on Rat Fever in Ninja mode, loose inside. Even Mikey triggers an automatic defense when he speaks while Donnie is accessing their mint-condition Jupiter Jim comic in 'Jupiter Jim Ahoy!' - something Donnie built to protect a thing beloved by all of them.

Tl;dr: whether or not someone would be allowed to stay and/or help Donnie in the lab depends on what they're there for. Here to help? Awesome, welcome! Here to break things or just be annoying? Get out.

[kurishiri]

why team alice (as a whole) suffers compared to the others, other than the fact they r "starter routes"

DISCLAIMER: this post is not meant to undermine those who like team alice or any of the chars in that team; this is just a post i am making bc ive been thinking and theorizing a bit on especially why en doesnt seem to like will, harry, and liam as much as the other suitors as a whole. and i wanted to try to put it into words. but i'm also not really a professional when it comes to these matters and the statements i make boil down to my personal opinion (despite how i may phrase things), so take my words with a grain of salt. im open to hearing other opinions and welcome discussion, provided it remains civil!

long post + late night thoughts below

clarification: i am not including victor in this post as a part of this the aforementioned “team alice”, as i consider him a separate entity from the other teams altogether, symbolizing “the end” of fairytales, rather than a char of a fairytale. when sold in story sets, he often gets put into sets with team sleeping beauty anyway. i do acknowledge that victor is fairly often seen with william and harry, though in my personal opinion — and this may change with victor’s route release, who knows! — they do sort of fall short a bit for the same reason that i will mark with an asterisk (*) in this post.

especially ever since i started translating, and after al's route release, i feel ive become more conscious of the concept of "favoritism". even in the source material, favoritism is present to an almost painful degree. like, it wont take you long to realize liam literally has no (solo) 95k stories, while jude has the most out of the entire cast. which then leads to the question, which i ask as neutrally as i can: why? why is liam so unpopular? why is will not popular? or harry? and conversely, why is jude and ellis so popular? why does team alice seem less popular than the other teams? after some thinking…

basically, my thought just all boils down to the "lack of chemistry".

i dont think the issue lies so much with the chars themselves. i feel a lot of community doesnt really hate them as chars, they just like the others more. all that to say — will, harry, and liam r all charming in their own right.

they r good-looking, kind to kate, they r intelligent, they r all affected in some way by their curse, and they all possess development arcs especially following their main story, which i feel may be a symptom of the "starter route syndrome". where their main stories may fall a bit short, they may make up for in basically all of the following events. they r all flawed, thus making them feel human and authentic.

as individuals, they r all actually quite well rounded, in my opinion.

but when you look at them as a team or group, this is specifically where they fall apart.

the thing is — its not just abt the individual. its also abt how they see the things around them, how they interact with them; you can have very well-made chars, but if they don’t interact with others, how can we, as readers, get to know them? and of course, when i say "interact", this includes other chars in the cast. they say dialogue can make or break, and while there r some things team alice does well in dialogue, i think in other areas it also falls short.

now part of it may also be that the team as a whole didnt know each other before they all congregated at crown, while all the other teams have known each other in some way in the past, with team snow white (and, i think swan lake) especially having an extensive history. so i think in this sense, there is some inherent disadvantage team alice faces here at play as well. but this is not the only factor, considering they actually manage to tie liam and harry pretty well together as a combo. their friendship feels quite authentic.

as for will…we dont see all too many opportunities for him to interact much with harry (if they do, harry is often with someone else, like liam). but we know they r probably on good terms, though harry sometimes may feel a bit unsettled,,? by will. but the key is: they just dont interact much as a pair. in this sense, there is little opportunity to develop them as a pair, thus integrating will as a whole into the team. as for will and liam? these two share more interactions, but said interactions r not always executed very well, in my opinion*.

for example, will sort of treats liam like a cat. he even calls him a cat in dialogue. but thats all it seems to be between them. their dynamic feels somewhat flat, and it doesnt help that will is even opting to tell (rather than show) the reader what he thinks of liam, thus taking away the ability for the reader to dig deeper into their relationship. thus, it may feel harder to empathize, sympathize, or find it relatable — the chars dont reveal much abt each other. their dynamics feel surface level, so even though they have distinctive personalities, traits, and struggles, it feels like we r only getting half of them. bc again, much of how we get to know chars is their interactions, dialogues, and thoughts abt other chars, similar to how we cannot really understand ourselves without the presence of others (like the "looking-glass self" which sociologist cooley coined).

i probably sound like a broken record by now, but basically what i wanna say is there is not much of a good way to integrate will into the team — or the way they try to do so isnt done very well. the dynamic then may feel "incomplete", like drawing a half circle and attempting to call it a full circle.

to give a point of comparison, we can take a quick look at team snow white and sleeping beauty, looking at what made them relatively more successful compared to team alice. i wont be looking at team swan lake due to them being jp only chars (as of the making of this post) and also just not having much info on them. but, sometimes it does help to look at "successful" cases to better understand or feel what had fallen short.

TEAM SLEEPING BEAUTY

ok so, quick disclaimer: team sleeping beauty isnt really my strong suit (if yk me, im prettyy biased toward team snow white personally ndhjsffgjdjfjsg), so to speak. so if anyone else has anything to add here, feel free. but i will try my best.

basically, i think team sleeping beauty has one prevailing advantage over other teams, which is they r a two-man team.

they can keep the dynamic compact, if thats the word. there r physically less ppl to have to "integrate" into the team. in this team, it is centered around ellis and jude's relationship with each other. but to put it simply, they r foils — and the fact they use such a literary device in and of itself adds to their charm, specifically bc foils r meant to bring out each other’s similarities and differences…traits that we readers digest and can potentially empathize with.

one wants to make the other happy, obsessed with the notion of "happiness", while the other is basically cursed (as a byproduct) to never be the happiest. there is this theme of happiness revolving around those two, entangling them to a relationship that can inherently "never end". this in turn highlights ellis' tendency to "restrain" and jude's cycle of hatred. they sort of go together like yin and yang — two opposing forces who still end up working together. they have a distinct role to play in each other's lives.

on the other hand, team alice characters r sort of more independent from each other and feel a bit like a hodgepodge. this results in the reader potentially finding more difficulty finding how they may affect one another…risking their role as chars in each others stories being rendered vague.

and if the role of chars is hard to be established, it is easy for them to "fall out" in terms of the storyline.

TEAM SNOW WHITE

so here is the three man team that makes the three man team work. and the biggest thing that team snow white has that team alice doesnt is distinct, complex dynamics established between all three chars in the team. in other words, they have a "full circle" whereas team alice has a "half circle".

ALFONS & ELBERT: ah yes the pairing that would become a couple if they were not labeled as love interests for kate in an otome game /lh but in all srsness these two do share quite an interesting dynamic. they were sort of there to share each other's pain, and even just as chars, they seem to reflect things abt each other. for example, through elbie, we learn of how "hopeless" al can feel despite his smiley front; and through al, we see a lot of what elbie was truly seeking and why. and how, despite al being a mirror that reflects others' desires, elbie is the mirror that keeps al grounded to his self, and reflects what makes al as a char. they share a close relationship of "two lonely and broken souls finding solace in one another", but there is also quite a bit of subtext in the semantics of their dynamic and dialogue together as well.

ELBERT & ROGER: considering elbie's fear of doctors, it wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that, despite the fact roger had never actually laid a finger on elbie the same way his father's doctor did, elbie still feared roger, bc roger still embodied the concept of what had deeply traumatized him in the first place. roger had to go out of his way to earn elbie's trust (as a doctor), and they had gone out of their way to depict this. in this sense, through roger, we can see just how deep-rooted this trauma is and its severity — time cant heal all wounds.

ROGER & ALFONS: theres quite a bit to unpack with these two. they r deeply intertwined in each other's lives, whether they like it or not. its not that al gets along with roger or views him as a "friend", per se, but he finds it easy to place the blame of his suffering on roger, implies through subtext that he still holds some hope for roger that he can fulfill his goals, and shows his own version of an act of kindness by erasing his memories when he decided to, well, off himself. on the other hand, interestingly enough, roger is the one who basically took away al's childhood, but at the same time, in the present, he is the one who is able to bring out al's most childish side.

all in all, team snow white seems to rely a lot on subtext, which is another device to create mult layers and complexities in the dynamics created between all the characters in the team.

tl;dr: team alice has individually interesting characters, which is why they r not really disliked necessarily, but their interactions with each other as a team fall short compared to the other teams, which in turn has an impact on how "relatable" they may be perceived by the reader. and this is basically why i think team snow white and sleeping beauty r more favored than team alice as a whole by the (en) fandom.

wrote most of this on my phone nfjsjhfhsgs will end the essay here

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: november 2024

*arrives halfway through december with a hot chocolate in hand* WHO WANTS TO KNOW WHAT I READ IN NOVEMBER

this is not going to be my best or most thoroughly written roundup but I want this shit posted so you get what you get

Sharks Don't Sink: Adventures of a Rogue Shark Scientist (Jasmin Graham with Makeba Raisin, 2024) - as a shark enjoyer who was too dumb to go into marine biology, I was really looking forward to Graham's book about her experiences as a Black woman working in this very white field. while the book's a bit dry it's also a fun, quick read, with an infinitely likeable narrator whose passion bursts out of every page and will delight anybody who also loves sharks. Graham's determination to forge her own path and make spaces for herself and other women of color makes for an inspiring story, and though this book isn't specifically targeted at younger readers, I'd happily recommend gifting it to any girls looking at getting into any kind of animal-related field so that they can find a worthy role model in Jasmin Graham.

Bite by Bite: Nourishments and Jamborees (Aimee Nezhukumatathil, 2024) - I feel bad, but I was disappointed! I was so smitten with poet Nezhukumatathill's previous collection of short essays, World of Wonder, in which she extolls the virtues of various animals and plants. while I always enjoy a lush description of a good food, and the illustrations were very charming (the shave ice in particular had me YEARNING to blow my savings on a trip to Hawaii), it Bite by Bite lacked the substance of its predecessor. the connections drawn in each essay felt a bit more contrived this time around, with many feeling like thinly veiled justifications for Nezhukumatathil to pontificate on her sons growing up rather than celebrating the foods she spotlights for their own merits. I ended up feeling as if I was rushing to get it over with, which is always sad.

Four Lost Cities: A Secret History of the Urban Age (Annalee Newtiz, 2021) - this was one of the most unexpect delights of the year. I know borderline nothing about archaeology and anthropology, but Newitz paints such vivid images of their subjects that I found myself getting genuinely emo about disaster relief efforts in Pompeii. idk what it was, man, but they took their right turns stupid just like we did! humans is the same after all this time! it's been a while since I picked up a book about something totally alien to me and got to settle in for the pure joy of learning from a talented writer, and this book hit the spot tremendously. if anyone is planning on doing my 2025 book bingo challenge and needs an idea for the nonfiction about a topic that's new to them, consider this a recommendation!

The Truth According to Ember (Danica Nava, 2024) - maaaaan. I wasn't, like, blown away by the synopsis of this romance novel, in which the titular Ember lies about being white rather than Chickasaw in order to land a job only to immediately find herself crushing hard on a Native coworker, Danuwoa, and getting increasingly wrapped up in a web of lies. while the plot's not exactly original, I was excited to check out a book by a Native author about Native characters getting a pretty big release, something I hadn't yet encountered in romancelandia. but honestly? the biggest disappointment in this book wasn't the unoriginal story or Disney Channel sitcom-levels of hijinks to maintain the various lies, but it's the fact that lying about being white isn't even really the crux of the plot. Ember doesn't get fired for that! that's not actually the thing anyone has an issue with! she gets in trouble for lying about having a degree that she doesn't have to get a job she's wildly underqualified for, which is a significantly bigger issue! but all of the marketing is based on her lying about being Native, which feels... idk, it feels misleading? also the romance takes, like, a loooong time to show up; Danuowa is very secondary for like the first third of the book while we learn about the ins and outs of Ember's life, family drama, and new job. I don't know if I've ever been begging for a romance heroine to interact with love interest more, but this book made it happen.

The MAGA Diaries: My Surreal Adventures Inside the Right-Wing (And How I Got Out) (Tina Nguyen, 2024) - on the one hand, I really fuckin' feel for Tina Nguyen. what started out as a college flirtation with libertarianism spiraled into a deep immersion in the burgeoning alt-right thanks to her then-boyfriend, including a brief stint working under Tucker Carlson himself. Nguyen ultimately comes to realize the extent of batshit insanity the republican party is descending into, jumping ship well before the 2016 election thanks to an increasing sense that something is deeply amiss among the right's journalism core. (one especially chilling anecdote involves Nguyen, the daughter of Vietnamese immigrants, discovering that her longtime mentor, a man she had trusted for years to help advise her career, had been caught discussing a desire to curb America's population of immigrants.) although she spins her firsthand knowledge and exhaustive list of contacts to start reporting on the right for liberal outlets, Nguyen remains skeptical of what she perceives a critical lack of organization among the Democrats, which I can certainly forgive her for. I have a bit more side eye for Nguyen's reluctance to fully condemn some of her old colleagues; in particular, she goes to lengths to emphasize that Carlson was a pretty chill boss. idk, maybe it's hard to cut ties that completely, even with people who turned out to be monsters. overall the memoir is lacking any especially artful prose but is a bitchin' gossip piece with some decent insights into how the right organizes.

Minor Feelings: An Asian American Reckoning (Cathy Park Hong, 2020) - it's always so momentous when a book actually lives up to the hype. Hong blurs memoir and essay for a resonant and painful examination of all the ways Asian American identity gets tangled up in shame, including her own. this book is potent, and by far one of my favorite nonfiction reads of the year. I think @zaricats recommended it like 700 years ago so thank you for that!

Crazy Rich Asians (Kevin Kwan, 2013) - it's. fine. it's literally just fine.

The Nightmare Before Kissmas (Sara Raasch, 2024) - not fine, this one sucked shit so bad it gave me a headache multiple times. how do you squander a premise as silly as "the Christmas Prince and the Halloween Prince are in secret gay love"? how do you make that boring? why was this mostly just a book about workplace politics with a little tinsel on top? unfortunately I WILL be reading the sequel in March, but only to complain.

Doppelganger: A Trip Into the Mirror World (Naomi Klein, 2024) - a dizzying work that ties together an astonishing number of ideas, beginning with Klein's own frustrations with being mistaken for disgraced feminist writer turned vaccine conspiracy hack Naomi Wolf to the chaotic and reactionary political landscape that so many of us find ourselves struggling to make sense of. it's a heavy and heady book, dense with well considered observations and expertly articulated thoughts despite Klein's own acknowledgement that her "research" often veered into unreasonable levels of obsession. despite Klein's long career this was my first time reading her work, and now I am Listening to anything and everything she has to say.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 12 (Ryoko Kui, trans. Taylor Engel, 2023) - I truly genuinely can't say anything about Volume 12 without saying that, by the time I'm posting this, I have also read Volumes 13 and 14 and finished the series and man. man man man. this story is just so GOOD. genuinely I love Dungeon Meshi so much.

Buzz: A Stimulating History of the Sex Toy (Hallie Lieberman, 2017) - a very fun and interesting history of the sale of sex toys in the US, including some very appreciated love for unsung heroes of the sex toy field like Jewish ventriloquist Ted Marche, Black disability activist Gosnell Duncan, and all of the women who pioneered sex stores that prioritized woman as their clientele. granted, that last group of second wave feminists comes with all the accompanying second wave bioessentialism you'd expect, and I'd be remiss not to note that the book also takes a frustratingly cissexist approach in the way it talks about man = penis and woman = vagina. I don't think Lieberman sought out to be deliberately transphobic (there is, briefly, a mention of a trans woman taking over one of the sex toy companies the book follows, and she is recognized as a woman even if her transition is shoehorned in rather awkwardly) but simply out of her depth with knowing how to address trans people in the very binary historical narrative she constructs. it's grating, but also unsurprising for a book published in 2017. if you can handle the cis weirdness and you, like me, are interested in how sexuality and pleasure are litigated, I'd really recommend checking this one out; I've already added it to the official sex witch library. it's worth the read for the surprising history of Adam & Eve alone.

[historicalbeauties]

Amy Appelhans Gubser could see the Farallon Islands from her house on clear days, and would always joke with her husband that she could swim there.

5 years ago, the nurse and grandmother who lives in Pacifica started to work on this crazy idea. Gubser sought out open-water swimming mentors for guidance and even got resources through the Marathon Swimming Federation, yet things never lined up until this year.

On May 11, in 17 hours, 3 minutes, she finally made her vision come true and completed the 29.6-mile swim from the Golden Gate Bridge to the Farallon Islands.

Gubser has been around the ocean since she was 10 years old. She became an ocean lifeguard in high school and college, and also swam at the University of Michigan, yet after graduation didn’t get back into the water for 24 years.

When Gubser finally did return, she was doing more open-water swimming, for instance, swims across Lake Tahoe and Monterey Bay. The woman would always see the Farallon Islands from her house and would dream about one day swimming there.

The outbound route to the Farallon Islands is known for going against the currents, and only 5 people had previously completed the trek in the inbound direction, from the Farallons to the Golden Gate. According to the Marathon Swimmers Foundation, Gubser is the only one to complete that specific route without a wetsuit. Before her, two men successfully completed the swim in 2014, and there were also 3 recorded failures between 2012 and 2015.

The location is also known for white sharks. “The elephant in the room is white sharks, and they were in the back of my mind at all times during the swim. We didn’t take the shark thing lightly – I had a savvy crew that kept watch for them from a boat and kayak. They were ready to jump into the water to help me if I needed, but we had no shark sightings the whole time,” said Gubser. Fortunately, during the journey, she encountered several seals yet no sharks.

Another obstacle was the water temperature. She had trained to swim in cold water, but the water got as cold as 46 degrees Fahrenheit that day and it was something the woman didn’t expect and wasn’t ready for. A wetsuit probably would have helped here, but no matter the warmth and added buoyancy, she wasn’t wearing it.

“Wetsuits are a great piece of equipment, especially for people that are starting out in open water. But I follow the Marathon Swim Federation rules and the open water swim world rules that, for the last 150 years, have been the same. Which is a swimsuit, a cap, some form of goggles, earplugs and a nose clip,” explained Gubser. “When you wear a wetsuit your skin rubs against the material, and the last thing that I really wanted was for my skin to bleed near a shark island.”

The 55-year-old grandmother of two with a third on the way was very happy about her accomplishment when, no matter all the challenges, including intense fog in the Pacific Ocean all along the way, she finally reached the Farallon Islands at around 8:30 p.m. that night.

“For 17 hours, I had no idea where I was, what was going on. I had a thought bubble around me that only allowed us to see 100 meters in any direction. I went into a meditative state. There were some 30-minute time intervals that passed very quickly. Others seemed like they were 300 hours,” she explained.

“My whole family is so relieved, because I have been talking about this thing for five years, and my husband will be the first to tell you he’s just grateful it’s done,” shared Gubser. “I hope this story inspires somebody to not be challenged by a number [like] their age or their weight. I mean, all of my body got me across that. That’s pretty impressive.”

[electricalhuzzah]

You know who the relationship reveal is gonna be objectively insane for? Soos.

Like yeah Dipper’s gonna be furious but also he knows Bill and Ford have a history so it’s not necessarily the biggest shock. Soos doesn’t know they have any more of a backstory than Bill and the rest of the family so from his POV he brought this messed up triangle home and Ford immediately started fucking him with no preamble. If you don’t already know they’re exes who never got over each other that must be *nuts*

my good man you keep hitting the nail on the head with this shit.

to be fair, with or without the history, ford basically started fucking bill with no preamble within what? five(ish) hours of making eye contact? granted the pines don’t necessarily know that they hatefucked on bill’s first day of being human.

i didn’t mention this in the story, but in the fic, the book of bill never made it out past theraprism security measures. so the pines never got it, and they don’t know about the missing pages unless they were told. thus, the degrees of awareness amongst the pines are as follows. NOBODY CONSIDER THIS CANON TO THE FIC yet BC im still plot mappin and shit and i dont want to accidentally commit an incontinuity. ok here we go.

while dipper knew about the history between bill and ford (from the last mabelcorn i think? whichever one they done the brain scanner), i’m operating under the impression that he believed them to be advanced colleagues. somewhere between a professor-student relationship and a deity-worshipper relationship. he knew it was fucked up, but he thought it was like,,, normal fucked up.

mabel is still under the impression that bill is just hung up on his deity ex “bjorn.” ford never really got around to telling her about their history, and frankly he never really wanted to. so she also has no preamble, AND she thinks bill is just rebounding with her grunkle.

stan probably has the most context out of all them, and even that’s not a whole lot. during their sea ventures pre-fic, ford probably said something to the effect of “my relationship with bill was, in a few instances… less than professional and more than platonic. now, please, stanley, can we leave it at that?” then they got drunk and emotional and ford said a bit more than he likely should’ve. by the next morning, they were deeply hungover. ford didn’t remember saying anything; stan thinks he remembered something about someone loving a triangle and torture and eye stealing, but then again, he also seems to remember playing strip poker with a mermaid, so he’s not entirely sure how much was real.

soos. dear soos. we love soos. he’s got no context. he thought they HATED each other. and he’s begun to see bill as his employee/mentee/child who’s tryna do better. soos is reading those contracts with the theraprism to make sure he won’t get his probation officer/parental rights revoked on the grounds that his paternal figure’s brother is fuckin the convict/patient.

im keepin my mouth shut about melody for now.

OK PEACE AND LOVE AND CORNDOGS

[anghraine]

My Rings of Power re-watch is continuing slowly now that I have more time (though not always more attention span for anything except games, thanks dissertation -> my mother nearly dying -> getting COVID). But one of the things I'm really enjoying about Galadriel in ROP is that it doesn't always frame her as the wisest and most insightful person in every interaction she has, and in fact it is clear that she's fucking up in very significant ways because of how hard and relentless she's become through her eons of suffering and her determination to exact a price for it. She is not well!

However, she is nevertheless right about some very important matters that most people don't want to see, and she's being condescended to by men of her people who are much younger, less experienced, and less correct than she is, and it's continually emphasized that she is the most individually powerful and competent Elf around regardless of any of this and that her fuck-ups, while disastrous, are cool and sexy of her also.

So many male action heroes are troubled men haunted by whatever their particular tragic pasts are, but these men are also super impressive and badass (often to a degree far beyond all probability) in a harsh, capable way founded on never giving up ever, so while they are permitted to make major errors, it's in a cool and sexy way that just makes them more appealing.

This isn't a condemnation of that; there's a place for that kind of action hero and I tend to enjoy them when it's not copaganda or something. But I like women, and I like women to benefit from a full package of tropes that are often watered down when female characters get any part of them at all, so I enjoy a female character in something that historically has been such a dudefest getting full unhinged brooding hypercompetent action hero treatment.

I even fully support the show prioritizing Galadriel getting the good wig. Her hair flowing dramatically in the wind is actually more important than someone like Celebrimbor getting dramatic impractical action hair (with love, he's an arts and crafts nerd hung up on his academia celebrity grandfather, nothing about this demands good hair).

But I also like it not only in general and not only for a female character, but also for Galadriel specifically. I was just re-reading the description of her in the Shibboleth of Fëanor, and (Teleporno aside) it tracks pretty well. The whole thing about young Galadriel's burning determination to pursue Fëanor to the ends of the earth and thwart him in whatever ways she could seems exactly the sort of thing ROP Galadriel would do, and while ROP is set much later, the Shibboleth suggests that Galadriel was still recognizably that person for long afterwards:

"Pride still moved her when, at the end of the Elder Days after the final overthrow of Morgoth, she refused the pardon of the Valar ... It was not until two long ages more had passed, when at last all that she had desired in her youth came to her hand, the Ring of Power and the dominion of Middle-earth of which she had dreamed, that her wisdom was full grown."

There's a lot of Galadriel material that Tolkien wrote and he continually overhauled, revised, discarded, and amended the Galadriel backstory to such an extent that her history is one of the most chaotic, tangled, and irreconcilable zones of Tolkien lore. I don't think anyone is obligated to prioritize Shibboleth Galadriel if they have a different preferred version. But I really love that version of Galadriel and it does make her seem like probably the best canon female character option of this era for Action Hero Disaster Area (In A Cool and Sexy Way).

[jeannereames]

Hello Dr. Reames, I just have a question in regards to Alexander's approach to his soldiers treatment of women (I'm getting at sexual violence here) and what Alexander most likely handled such things. I think most of us know the story of how he praised Timoclea for her bravery after she was violated by one of his men, but what about other women? I remember reading (I'm pretty sure it was Diodorus) that when Alexander's army got to Darius's camp after the battle of Issus, Alexander's men "had their way" with some of the other women left behind. Who were these women? Servants? Noblewomen? And other similar instances that I'm sure I've read elsewhere. I guess what I'm asking is HOW likely is it that Alexander extended his chivalry to "common" women in his empire? I mean, there are some instances were he certainly was, as we would describe, chivalrous. He sent the women warriors that were offered to him (by Bessus I believe) in Arrian's Anabasis out of fear his men might "molest" them, and during the burning of Persepolis ordered his men not to touch the women of the city during the burning. I suppose I don't want to believe (for all his MANY faults) would allow such things to happen freely, as childish as that sounds.

Also if you can recommend some books (if you know of any I can get) that mention or discuss Alexander's approach to sexual assault in his empire that'd be great. Also I love your work and your YouTube channel!

Alexander and Female Prisoners of War

The treatment of women in war has always been horrendous. Full stop.

In the ancient world, the treatment of upper-class women was typically presented in the literature as a sign of the all-important clemency on the part of conquerors, whether they were Alexander, Scipio, Cyrus, etc.: “good men” who accorded “proper ladies” their social due.

One extremely important question we must ask is whether the depiction in literature accurately reflects what ACTUALLY happened. E.g., is it just a pretty story? To some degree, this is an unanswerable question. We weren’t there. In the case of Alexander, our (surviving) sources are largely late, so they weren’t there, either. And some of their sources weren’t there but relied on yet other accounts.

Think of these tales a bit like those “Introducing the Candidate” videos that political action committees put out to present Their Guy/Gal in glowing terms. Those videos may not be wholly false, but they’re also not entirely true. The degree to which they’re false or true obviously varies, depending on the person in question—an important point in this day of auto-cynicism. If few people in politics are Jimmy Stewart’s Mr. Smith (Goes to Washington), some really are there for (mostly) the right reasons.

We need to take a similar view of these tales from the ancient world. This is my usual pushing back against the same auto-cynicism among some of my historical colleagues. Nonetheless, even if we decide at least some of the stories about Alexander might be more true than false…

The treatment of women in war has always been horrendous. (as above)

For every Timoklea spared, there are a thousand nameless-to-history (if not to themselves) women who were raped, enslaved, and/or killed as a result of Alexander’s conquests. Yay, for Timoklea?

Via a modern lens, ancient warfare was almost unimaginably brutal. Modern war messes up people, sometimes/(often) for life. Ancient warfare was that on steroids. But I think it’s easy to forget how extremely precarious life was in the ancient world. War was, if not “common,” certainly not uncommon. Death was also much more in-your-face possible at any stage of life. Chance was understood to have a lot to do with it, and the favor of the gods, rather than anything inherently “good” in a person. Even while we do see folks in the ancient world trying to moralize bad luck, that’s more true in the ANE. In Greece and Rome, it was more about Luck, and Fate.

Today, I think the average person is very much cushioned from death. We rarely see dead bodies, and when we do, it’s in a casket at the funeral home. We’re not usually present when people die. We buy our meat prepackaged in the grocery story, without skin or offal and maybe even without any bones. We spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to preserve life, and to make living more comfortable and meaningful for the chronically ill, even for children born extremely disabled.

THAT WAS NOT THEIR WORLD. They’d be absolutely stunned (and arguably appalled) by the idea of saving a child with severe birth defects, or mortgaging one’s house to afford desperate measures to save somebody mangled in a car wreck and barely holding on to life. The kind thing, to their minds, would be to end the suffering ASAP. Who’d want to live like that? “Quality of life” had an entirely different meaning. And if, yes, the super-rich (like Alexander) might have been willing to pay anything to save the life of someone beloved (like Hephaistion), that wasn’t most people’s lived experience.

I point out all this to contextualize their perceptions of war, and war’s results. Resilience, or the ability to survive and recover from trauma, depends on a number of psychological factors, including having the event acknowledged as real, and the survivor’s preexisting ideas of a just (or unjust) world. One reason incest can be so incredible damaging is the secretiveness of it, and who did the assault (someone the survivor was taught to trust). Rape in war is done by a hated enemy and is not secret. That hardly makes it “better,” but it allows the survivor to process the trauma in a more straightforward way, and in the company of (many) others who have suffered the same. For women who wind up enslaved, rape will likely remain a normal part of their existence from then on, although the violence that accompanied it probably varied.

All of that led to a certain amount of hardened hearts, both to what happened to others, but also to what one suffered one’s self. It also explains why, in particularly brutal situations (such as sieges), entire families might elect suicide if the walls were breached—if they had time. This sort of whole-family suicide is mentioned in one of the accounts of Alexander’s razing of Persepolis, if I remember right. Also, some of the Indian sieges.

As for the well-born, and despite the fact the Greeks invented democracy, ancient Greece and Rome were still very much “class” societies. And more of Greece was NOT democratic than was. So the notion still existed that some women belonged—by “blood”—to a class who should be spared brutality, and elites and aristocrats were elites and aristocrats by virtue of special descent. Just as kings were kings by special descent. This might offend the modern mind, but not theirs. The children of slaves were born to be slaves; that was the “natural order of things.” But the children of the wealthy ruling class were born to rule, so when war intervened to reverse their fortunes, it was seen as especially sad. And that’s where clemency comes in.

It was a show of both admirable self-restraint and civilization for the victor to spare the (weaker) women and children of the defeated ruling group—to a point. After all, to be able to do so, he has already demonstrated his excellence in victory and has the POWER to offer clemency. That’s why clemency is a bit different from “grace” in a broader sense—and can be an insult for a man to accept. Caesar used it as a way to lord it over his enemies: “I could kill you...but I don’t respect you enough to fear you.” Also, clemency was often withheld from groups perceived to be “too barbarian.” They didn’t deserve it.

In any case, for upper-class female prisoners-of-war, acts of clemency, whether from the victor by freeing them, or from allies who offered ransom to rescue them from a life of slavery, became a sort of social coin. Not unlike starting a Go-Fund-Me today for a friend who’s fallen on hard times. One gets brownie points for the gesture…even if it 100% comes from a place of compassion. (Two motives can coexist at once in people.)

So, all of that may help to contextualize Alexander’s acts of clemency towards certain women who fell under his power. Was he actually more sensitive to captured women than most? I’m inclined to think he was. But I also recognize that such stories carried a lot of weight for later writers (such as Plutarch and Arrian) who had a particular picture of him that they wanted to paint.

That said, the fact he encouraged his soldiers to marry the camp followers with whom they’d had children, many of them women from the lands they conquered, and even offered dowries for the women is an uncommon act. It’s also weird enough, I suspect it’s not invention and points to an unexpected concern for women. We need to look “in the corners” of accounts about other matters, where clemency isn’t the point, to discover how atypical Alexander actually was.

So yes, he was (a little) ahead of his time. But I doubt he gave much thought to the plight of women in cities such as Thebes or Tyre or Persepolis, other than passing pity. Their fate was, to his mind, the fault of their male family members who chose to rebel against him—and a warning to others against resistance. There’s no point to the carrot without the threat of a whip, in ancient thought.

I don't know of any specific articles about this topic, although it's an interesting one. There are numerous articles about ATG and women more generally, many by Carney, Müller, D'Agostini, and (earlier) Greenwalt. But aside from an article by Müller on ATG's chivalry in the various medieval romances, I don't think anybody has directly examined the stories in earlier sources. Or, I take that back, Beth Carney wrote an article about women and warfare for the new Brill's Companion to the Campaigns of Philip II and Alexander the Great, and Sabine Müller wrote on war crimes more broadly, but I've not had time to read either chapter yet. The book literally just came out at the tail-end of last year. I bet they have some good bibliography to them.

[vermilionsun]

*Crashes in* Hi there! This is probably the first time I’ve requested something in literal years! But I’m wondering if you can do relationship headcanons with the reader/mc (gn too please 🙏🏼) dating both Kuras and Vere🤭. It can be both sfw and/or nsfw, whatever you like! I just really wanna see what possible messiness that comes of this.

Also thanks for the follow, and glad you enjoyed my lil fics!!🙏🏼☺️🩵🩵🩵

Ahoy! Thank you sm for the req!! Of course, gn! reader + it's extra messy, hehehe

Note 1: There's NSFW under the very obvious line and the the big red letters that read "NSFW" Note 2: The edit of the middle pic is by @todayis-snowy <3

ⁿᵒᵗᵉ ²﹕ ⁱ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʷʰᵒ ᵐᵃᵈᵉ ᵗʰᵉ ᵉᵈⁱᵗ ᵒᶠ ᵗʰᵉ ᵐⁱᵈᵈˡᵉ ᵖⁱᶜ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵛᵉʳᵉ ﹠ ᵏᵘʳᵃˢ, ⁱᶠ ᵃⁿʸᵒⁿᵉ ᵏⁿᵒʷˢ ᵐᵉˢˢᵃᵍᵉ ᵐᵉ ˢᵒ ⁱ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵖʳᵒᵖᵉʳˡʸ ᵃˢᵏ ᵗʰᵉ ᵒʷⁿᵉʳ ᶠᵒʳ ᵖᵉʳᵐⁱˢˢⁱᵒⁿ ᵗᵒ ᵘˢᵉ ⁱᵗ/ʳᵉᵐᵒᵛᵉ ⁱᵗ. ᵗʰᵃⁿᵏˢ ✌

➢ You’d most likely be caught in the middle (in… more than one ways), trying to maintain balance.

➢ It's like willingly stepping into a minefield and expecting not to get blown up. A recipe for disaster, cooked and baked at why-did-you-think-it-was-a-good-idea degrees. A thunderstorm of past emotions brewing beneath the surface for centuries, ready to unleash its wrath at any moment. You don't mix fire and ice, especially when they come in the form of two ex-lovers who still hold a spark for each other as well as a history of clashing violently.

➢ Both are unapologetic about everything they do

➢ They constantly push each other's buttons. It's like a deadly game of tug-of-war, with neither willing to give an inch. Trying to navigate a relationship with both of them feels like walking on eggshells, never knowing when one wrong move will set off a chain reaction.

➢ Their… love is a force to be reckoned with, a force that could either consume them whole or set them free. But one thing is for certain: it's something that cannot be ignored, no matter how destructive it may be.

➢ That said, spare yourself the trouble and stay out of their way if you can. Unless you want to get caught in the crossfire. And hell, maybe even get burned. But at the end of the day, why the fuck would you not want to involve yourself in their toxic relationship drama?

➢ e̶s̶p̶e̶c̶i̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ i̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶ w̶e̶r̶e̶ b̶o̶r̶n̶ c̶u̶r̶s̶e̶d̶, w̶i̶t̶h̶ h̶a̶n̶d̶s̶ y̶o̶u̶ k̶e̶e̶p̶ b̶a̶n̶d̶a̶g̶e̶d̶ t̶o̶ h̶i̶d̶e̶ a̶ d̶e̶a̶d̶l̶y̶ s̶e̶c̶r̶e̶t̶:̶ a̶ b̶r̶u̶s̶h̶ o̶f̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶ f̶i̶n̶g̶e̶r̶s̶ t̶w̶i̶s̶t̶s̶ t̶h̶e̶ m̶i̶n̶d̶s̶ o̶f̶ a̶n̶y̶ h̶u̶m̶a̶n̶ y̶o̶u̶ t̶o̶u̶c̶h̶. J̶u̶s̶t̶ h̶o̶w̶ f̶a̶r̶—

➢ Those aside, they’d actually be pretty loving towards you.

➢ Kuras is the type to shower you with attention in a rather subtle, detached way. Vere, on the other hand, is the type to show his love through grand gestures and extravagant gifts.

➢ Kuras would be a rather protective partner, and would be wary of Vere due to how antagonistic he is towards both him and you.

➢ Both Kuras and Vere are pretty stubborn, so the arguments are nothing less than legendary.

➢ They could go on for hours, with Kuras using his sharp tongue and quick wit to cut down Vere's fiery temper.

➢ They'd argue over the weirdest things—food choices ( and who's the worst cook), who said what in the heat of the moment—the list goes on, really.

➢ Kuras probably has a few secret places where he goes for some alone-time to cool off,come back after an hour or two and pretend like nothing happened, while Vere would probably still want to continue the argument.

➢ Jealous jealous JEALOUS. 

➢ Knowing Kuras' slightly-more-than-necessary possessive nature, Vere'd definitely go out of his way to make him more jealous.

➢ Anything to make him see red.

➢ Openly flirting, teasing or touching you in front of Kuras, showering you with affection just when Kuras has stepped out of the room or go out of his way to spend time with you, deliberately excluding Kuras from the hangouts. He'd be constantly hovering around you and if Kuras does get a chance to be alone with you, Vere just barges into the room and starts acting particularly familiar and affectionate with you.

➢ Kuras'd be careful to keep his cool—despite seething inside—looking at you two with a smile that's too tight to be completely genuine, eyes narrow and jaw clenched. He’d make sure to shower you with extra attention once Vere’s gone.

➢ He knows Vere's doing everything just to rile him up and he's probably making mental lists of ways to k̶i̶l̶l̶ get back at Vere in the future.

➢ He'd probably get very cold and dismissive with Vere—at least, for as long as he could hold out. Kuras is not very good with self-restraint when he's mad.

➢ Kuras is secretly very clingy in a subtle sort of way. He'd probably try and find ways to physically get closer to you more often—sitting next to you, finding excuses to fix your clothes, and standing closer to you than is strictly necessary. He wouldn't be above sulking if you’re not paying him enough attention, either.

➢ Vere would be a lot more affectionate than Kuras, and definitely shameless when it comes to flaunting his interest in you. He'd find every opportunity to touch you—casually draping an arm over your shoulder or hip, holding your hand, pulling you close to his side—anything to make it clear that he's staking his claim on you. He'd also have a habit of stealing kisses whenever you least expect it.

➢ Kuras'd grumble about it being “impolite” and make a show of how upset it makes him, but in truth, he'd get really, really jealous and he doesn’t know of who.

➢ Truth be told, Kuras might come off as cold and distant sometimes, especially in front of others, but you would quickly learn he's just not used to the whole "relationship" thing. Vere, on the other hand, would be much more open. He'd be more willing to flirt and openly call you any pet name under the sun, no matter how cheesy or embarrassing it may sound.

➢ Watch the shock and horror on the two bitter ex’s faces when Vere calls Kuras with a pet name out of habit, only for Kuras to respond with an equally affectionate nickname in return before they both pause, realizing what they have just done.

➢ Kuras is taken aback at first and coughs away the surprise, but a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips as he looks at Vere with a newfound warmth in his eyes. Vere, on the other hand, tries to cover up his own shock with a nonchalant shrug and a playful smirk, but his face betrays the tumult of emotions swirling within him.

➢ It will take a while for things start to get better; there would probably be a fair amount of petty back-and-forths before either one ends up actually admitting that they're being an ass, and then they'd be stuck in an awkward limbo where they are technically not fighting, but tneither one knows how to approach the other without starting another disagreement.

➢ They’d still fight and squabble like a married couple on the regular, but they'd also have quiet moments where they tolerate the other's presence, or dare I even say, get along.

➢ *g̶a̶s̶p̶s̶ e̶c̶h̶o̶ f̶r̶o̶m̶ t̶h̶e̶ a̶u̶d̶i̶e̶n̶c̶e̶*

➢ In that case, their banter becomes more lighthearted and their interactions more genuine as they slowly let down their guard around each other. The tension that once hung heavy in the air begins to dissipate, replaced by a growing sense of comfortability and re-building trust.

➢ As time goes on, they end up having fewer and fewer fights a̶n̶d̶ t̶h̶e̶ p̶r̶o̶b̶a̶b̶i̶l̶i̶t̶y̶ t̶o̶ k̶i̶l̶l̶ e̶a̶c̶h̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ g̶o̶e̶s̶ d̶o̶w̶n̶ b̶y̶ a̶ s̶i̶g̶n̶i̶f̶i̶c̶a̶n̶t̶ a̶m̶o̶u̶n̶t̶ though the two of them being as argumentative as they are, there is no way they'd never have a disagreement again—

NSFW

➢ Positions depend on who’s calling the shots… and, my friend, that is a great question.

➢ Vere tends to prefer being on top—and he's not above teasing and provoking you just to see how far he can push you, who is sandwiched in the middle—while Kuras usually ends up on bottom simply because he gets stubborn and doesn't want to give in to Vere's provocativeness.

➢ Kuras would be the more gentle one—he wouldn't rush or be too rough with you, preferring to take things slow and savor the moment, show his affection with every caress, every touch, every kiss…

➢ He’d probably prefer to have you facing him, he'd want to see your expressions; the way your eyes flutter closed when he touches you, the way your lips part when he kisses you etc etc and he’ll most definitely find a way to hold your hands, ‘cause he’s such a romantic at heart and a giant simp.

➢ Vere would be as shameless as possible. His touch would be more demanding and rough, his kisses more urgent and intense.

➢ It'll be no surprise if he ends up having you pinned underneath him with hands on your wrists more than once.

➢ Vere would want to take you from behind; pull you close to him, his arm snaking around your waist to keep you flush against his body, effectively controlling the pace. He'd like to have you straddling his hips so he can hold you in all the right spots and make you shudder and squirm.

➢ A lot more vocal than Kuras—probably a dirty talker, whispering sweet words and praises in your ears, his gaze locking with Kuras' as he explores every inch of your body with his hands and lips, relishing in watching the effect his words have on both of you.

➢ When it comes to the aftercare, both Vere and Kuras are clingy in their own ways.

➢ Vere would pull you into an embrace, tucking your head under his chin as he makes sure to nuzzle you as obnoxiously as possible just to get a rise out of Kuras.

➢ Kuras, on the other hand, would be a bit more subdued, gently wrapping you in his arms, his expression thoughtful and possessive as he pulls you closer to his chest; as if he's worried someone's going to take you away from him.

➢ Vere’s definitely ready for another round shortly after, but thankfully for you, Kuras stops him.

[utilitycaster]

Any tips or ideas for GMing the end of the Age of Reclamation? I want to be sure to get all the ramifications of the Divine Gate falling, and of the different social movements that come from the loss of the deities, but most of all I’m curious what someone as invested as I am in the narrative cohesion of Exandria would like to see in it.

Honestly? I don't really have tips - I don't GM anything in Exandria that will touch on it (Netherdeep game scheduling has been rough and I don't run any other games) and while I very much enjoyed EXU Divergence and Wildemount Wildlings I didn't really have much in the way of like, theorycraft/worldbuilding concepts in mind based on them.

Also, not to put too fine a point on it, but one aspect of why I think Campaign 3's plot struggled so mightily is that divinity and organized religion in Exandria were never very well laid out - @the-littlest-goblin has a post about the former, and I know I've touched on the latter a few times. Vasselheim is the cradle of civilization and a religious hub for the prime deities, but there doesn't appear to be any centralized power (Fy'ra and Morrighan do not seem to go through Vasselheim to be named champions) - and why would there be, given that the gods can communicate around anyone who claims to be a mouthpiece? The reality of the presence of the gods was, again as the-littlest-goblin pointed out, not really explored well within the text (and I include any of the texts). I think Matt is rightfully lauded for worldbuilding in terms of political structures, history, geography, and even new systems of magic; but actually, the specific role of religion has always been a weakness that we simply did not see until the role of religion and the gods became a major focus and the narrative infrastructure to support it was simply not there.

So anyway with that in mind: I actually wonder if we'd see Vasselheim actually become much more like our real Vatican/catholic church now that there is no divine voice of say, The Stormlord available to everyone. The idea that pre-Catatheosis Vasselheim was akin to the Vatican was very much not supported and entirely, in my opinion, projection from people who struggled to imagine something wholly unlike our world; but now that Exandria doesn't have gods that can simply talk to you (especially during the decade-plus period at least before the gods are found again), I think more formally organized religion and more authority among religious leaders than previously would feel realistic. I also suspect there will be perhaps increased religiosity in the world - if you cannot feel their presence, you may seek out religion for ritual and community instead. Ironically, I think Exandria might go from a very "religion as personal journey" almost modern attitude to a rather more medieval one.

I also think that false prophets/people claiming to be gods will be at minimum a cottage industry, especially a few years after; I'm unsure if the demons as we saw during the campaign will come back or if the bloody bridge/leylines were part of that problem so you can do whatever fits your particular campaign for now; and I think that some people will lose faith.

It's not all scams and the development of Fantasy Catholicism, though; I think the positives are going to be that the Accord will have established some degree of international cooperation and eroded the isolationism we saw in Campaigns 1 and 2, and of course Ruidians and access to Ruidus itself will open up entirely new perspectives! I think there will be leaps in biological research particularly, given that was the focus of Ruidian science. I would like to think that surviving members of the Grim Verity and the reveals of Ruidus's nature, not to mention the fact that vaulting everything up didn't stop Ludinus, will lead to an opening of said vaults and perhaps even an increased focus on Exandrian historical research; the perspective of the Kryn, now less isolated, will be incredibly valuable here. I also would like to think that the Empire being in some degree of turmoil will resolve, but with the dissolution of the Assembly. My guess is it will just continue in the Dwendal line, but if you want to focus on Wildemount I think you could make an argument for the Empire to follow in the footsteps of Tal'Dorei's relatively recent transition to a council (or for upheaval or even a civil war to lead to that transition). Either way I expect the Clovis Concord and Dynasty to develop more of a relationship and more power on the continent.

I also wonder if the international community will focus again on Aeor (now that Ludinus isn't trying to control access) and if there were be redoubled efforts to address the corruption of the Savalirwood. (Man, Ludinus REALLY fucked Uthodurn over as collateral in multiple ways, huh). It really might be something of an industrial revolution for a world that was already on the cusp of it.

Finally, think about all the sealed things or long-running enchantments that failed - what happens with them? Some might be cool, Umudara; others might be violent require further cooperation to address, like Desirat. This could be a great hook for adventures you run.