#also - im not saying that you HAVE to NEVER eat meat and that you are a horrible being for it -

[suffercerebral]

me having gone to bed at 6 am every day for the past week and generally spiraling mentally while rotting in bed waking up this morning: a 4 mile hike in the heat is a really good idea right now, and while we're at it let's start like 3 art projects

[l00ney-m00ny]

I dont get why it's such a big deal to just cook vegan food for a vegan? Like some people are happy to cook the vegan food, but let's say it's pancakes, and they have the vegan pancake mix, and they go "oh the bacon needs to be cooked first!" So they grab the pan and cook bacon in it. No matter if the pancake batter is vegan friendly, the pan isn't anymore until it's thoroughly cleaned, and I've met people who don't understand why.

You wouldn't make peanut butter cookies before you make the cookies without peanut butter in them if you're making it for someone who is allergic, that bowl is contaminated and anything made in it could still set off their allergy. Cooking in that pan that has the fond and bacon fat is the same thing.

So why do people think that using animal fats or cooking in the same contaminated cookware as the animal is vegan? So many people I've met are like "oh I can just cook your vegan burger patties beside the meat ones on the grill!" And if it's a big enough grill yeah maybe I won't have a problem I try not to be fussy, but I met someone who did cook my vegan patties first, but then they but them in the tray UNDERNEATH the meat patties! Like they put meat patties on top and let the vegan ones be contaminated!

Anyways this is just a little vent guys yeah

[cringelordofchaos]

"OMG! Did you know that pigs would easily eat a human? How scandalous! Outrageous! Disgusting! Pure proof of their immorality!"

- average Jessica, who eats porkchop with their family once a month

[snekdood]

at some point in the future:

*non vegan reading about a new vegan leather*: psh. bet it has plastic in it tho.

*scrolls down and finds out theres 0 plastic. the non vegan gets angry since now theres finally a vegan leather they dont get to complain about*: psh, bet it doesnt feel like real leather tho.

*scrolls down to find out the creators of this leather spent a lot of time to make it more "like real leather*: psh, bet they exploit their workers tho

just say you want to use animal leather and you were never going to consider an alternative in the first place, bud

[yunniestars]

peach mango pie 🥧

pairing: kinich x chef!reader tags: fluff, kinich is a bit grumpy here but we cool, based off that one tiktok i saw around 4 months ago but i forgot where it is now, implied insomnia, not proofread (i think i've never proofread my works help), the title is based on what i wanted to cook for a while already and i did (i'm actually eating it right now)

as a hunter, kinich usually suffices with just meat and berries he caught in the wild. he doesn't care about the quality as long as it is edible and it fills up his stomach (not too much though to avoid feeling too full). ajaw has complained multiple times about this but kinich reprimands him that they can't just slack off during a commission to cook a 5-course meal, much to the dragonlord's rage.

which is why when he met you, ajaw was ecstatic. you would always give so much treats to the point kinich reprimands you to not spoil ajaw too much.

jokes on him, though, kinich is guilty of being spoiled too. you always make sure he eats 3 meals a day while also checking if the food won't be a hindrance to him when he goes out for commissions. nevertheless, though, kinich is super grateful for your kindness.

so whenever kinich comes home after a long day, he would always await for whatever meal you had prepped up for dinner and hug you tiredly. in exchange, he does the dishes so you won't have to carry the burden of cooking the meals and doing the dishes.

kinich is thankful, he really is, but there's just one thing that concerns him.

୨୧

it's 3 am and kinich woke up from a bad dream. it was you leaving him for some fontaine boy, without even telling him the reason of why you broke up with him.

he was looking for your presence, about to panic because you weren't there, but then he started to smell something from the kitchen.

"oh god not again."

he immediately gets up and the moment he steps out the door, he sees you holding a tray of red velvet cookies. not only that, but he spots another tray which seems to be bagels stuffed with hotdogs.

you turn to see him looking at you with an expression that only you know that means "disbelief". he looks nonchalant, but really he's just ??? about why you're baking at 3 am AGAIN.

"good morning," you smile and take a bite off a cookie.

"why are you cooking at 3 am again? can't sleep?" he approaches you with slight worry. he's concerned about how you'd suddenly wake up at ungodly hours in the evening just to bake.

"mhm," you nod and let him embrace you. "and i was craving for the bagels we ate last week."

kinich sighs while ruffling your hair. "you couldn't wait till morning?"

"i felt the wayob telling me to do it now."

he chuckles and caresses your face, wiping the velvet crumbs off your face. "you probably misheard the wayob. you need to sleep, love."

you sigh and rest your head on his neck. "not tired..."

as you say that, kinich rolls his eyes because every time you say that, he ends up carrying you back to the bedroom while you sleep. which was what was happening right now, before he could even get the chance to tell you about it.

he sets your body gently on the bed, caressing your sleepy face and admiring how peaceful you look despite of the amount of desserts you baked just now.

kinich then sighs. that's another thing he has to worry about. where is he supposed to store the newly baked desserts when there's still 5 boxes from last time?

well, he'll just clean up for now and struggle it alone. what matters is that you're getting the amount of sleep you deserve right now.

"sleep well, my dearest."

[ written with love, yunniestars. ෆ ]

a/n: rahhh thanks for reading!! im really thankful for each time u guys read my work, it gives me lot of motiv hehe. one question though, how do u guys think kinich will say "love"? like the equivalent of "mon coeur?

[aryxchse]

the same type of blue. | percy jackson x daughter of hera! reader.

a / n : the history book on the shelf, is always repeating itself. and i won't shut up about how logan lerman and his wife being sally and poseidon in my head

warnings : emotional, i can't warm up to paul im sorry, sally and poseidon should've been an endgame but idek how, mentioning past, you looking like sally, crying, some of the hera cabin power mentions that i had in mind

the moment sally jackson met you, was the moment she saw her teenage self in your eyes.

you were this funny and bubbly girl who was too nice for your own good. you had these mother instict in you that later she found out it was because of your mother being hera. you would always say what type of marriage you imagine with percy and how many kids do you want. one boy and one girl, doesn't matter who's the older. the girl was going to have percy's eyes, but the boy will have yours.

and it always put a smile on her face to listen you talk about your dreams so comfortly to her. because she saw herself in those dreams. they were once her dreams too.

percy looked and acted too much like poseidon for sally's own good. he would unknowingly make his dad's jokes, and would call you 'darling' like he did to her back then. all these little details would remind sally her past love.

it was a barbeque day for the jackson-blofis family at the montauk cabin. where you were obviously invited, and poseidon, obviously was not. he liked to show up in family gatherings once in a while, to spend some time with his son or suprisingly, estelle.

you and sally prepared the table as the boys made the meat while laughing at something. paul and poseidon had this awkward friendship that always made you giggle. and percy would chat with his biological dad more often, since he felt more comfortable with him. don't get me wrong, he loved paul. all of you loved paul. but poseidon's warm energy made him easier to talk.

you never thought you'd have a dinner with a god but here you were, eating a meal with one of the most powerful gods ever existed. poseidon was really good at making people forget that he's a god, the one that rules the seven seas.

after the dinner, percy and you started to clean the area as paul went inside to watch this new game he followed, you didn't really paid attention. sally stayed outside, smelling the sea's calming scent, her bare feet dipping in the sand.

she looked over were poseidon and estelle was playing. he made sand castles with her as he laughed like a true grandpa. it made sally chuckle too, seeing him acting all fatherly with her daughter.

"he wants to make up for it," you said, and it made sally slightly jump. you apologised while putting a hand on her shoulder. "you know, since he couldn't look out for percy and you."

sally's eyes started to water up, but she managed to crack a smile. "how do you know this?" she asked. you shrugged, "i can feel a parent's feelings, even if they're a god. weird power, i know." you chuckled at the end with her.

"he didn't had any choice," sally muttered, looking at the sea again. you nodded. "i know, but he still feels bad. he really loves you sally, still like the first time." your whispering words made sally want to breakdown right then and there, but she only sighed.

"baby!" percy called behind you, smiling like a little kid. you both turned around as you made your way to percy, giggling. once again, it reminded sally the good times. but she wasn't alone this time, poseidon could also see the similarities between them. how you had sally's hair back then like how she used it, and how percy was a literal copy of himself.

sally sat next to poseidon as he sat there silently, watching his son and his girlfriend chase eachother around the beach, just like he and sally did. estelle was asleep in his arms, the calm energy he radiated making the girl fall asleep immediatly.

"they're just like us." poseidon whispered, not looking at the woman he still loved. sally smiled, not that he would see. "yeah. but a better version." she responded.

"one that ends happily unlike us." he agreed, too afraid to look in her eyes. sally didn't said anything, and the past lovers watched their son having the time of his life with the girl he loved.

suddenly percy lifted you up on his shoulders and ran into the water with you, still being clothed. you whined the moment you swimmed up. "percy it's not fair!" you yelled at him between your giggles.

"m' wet too baby, see? there's nothing unfair in this!" percy laughed with her, hugging her waist tightly so that she won't slip away.

"you used to do that too," sally whispered to poseidon, smile hurting her cheeks at this point. poseidon mimicked her facial expressions as he nodded quickly.

"and you would always whine like her." he chuckled, making the woman laugh along with him.

percy stepped out from the water with the help of the waves, still holding you in his arms in bridal style. while he made his way into the cabin, he spinned you around once in a while to make you laugh.

"he's really your son." sally chuckled, watching the couple enter the cabin.

"he's our son." poseidon corrected. he finally faced the woman, and saw the tears perking in her eyes through a smile. this was sally jackson, the woman he loved the most. smiling through everything.

he made the tears go away with a flick of his hand, too afraid to touch her. "a proof that our love was real, not a dream i had."

[gamblersdoll]

sukuna would not care about weight or if you are plump. the man has a mouth for a stomach.

the man’s hobby is to eat so you name him big back in your phone, ie he will literally have a full stack of ribs (hes a meat eater) and a plate of like 3 chicken breasts (he always cracks a snotty comment about how fat your breasts are and he will only eat chicken breasts because he cannot eat yours. he also loves how you cook them because he hasnt had seasoned food in a couple of years.) and will have a huge ass turkey leg. the ones that are like twenty dollars at the fair (when he found this out, he was appalled but had high hopes for it.) and he will still somehow be hungry in a couples hours.

and he never lets it go unnoticed that he doesn’t somewhat appreciate your cooking. whenever hes done and full for the moment he always ask “do you want me to like.. lay with you or something?” its not really a question, he always gets the itis when hes full and he gets clingy when it comes down to laying with you. or he will go out and probably find something to make you. its always some ancient recipe though.

“you never had whale meat before?” he asked, dumbfounded and mad confused.

“…. no, because who the fuck eats whale meat.” it wasnt a question, more of a statement but sukuna quite does not care. he still makes it for you though, although hes very heavy with salt, and whale meat is somewhat salty.

“you sayin i cant cook?”

“no, im saying you mad heavy with salt. and this better not be a certain species of whale either.” he grinned evilly, and you roll your eyes.

“if you dont like it just eat the soba, damn woman.” snatching the plate of whale meat. now you have a freezer of whale meat and you have to find recipes with it too.

“sobas good though..” you said, mouth full of food.

although sukuna doesnt know every food in the planet, he watches what you do, and he’s somewhat debating if youre better than uruame or on par.

[puzzlekinq]

pls write anything for edward ily

using this as an excuse to post horny eddie headcanons >:3 (i love you too!!)

edward nashton x gn reader nsfw headcanons

amab reader inclusive !!

cw: pegging, power dynamics, dacryphilia, orgasm denial, jealousy, possessive behavior.

—

♡ okay first off. its 3 inches soft, 5 inches hard, pink tip, very thick. stretches you out very nicely.

♡ frequently jerks off. (insert paul dano chronic masturbater image) he has to beat his meat at least a couple times a day. plus i think he'd wake up with morning wood constantly. he has to crank one out as quick as he can if he doesnt want to be late for work, or else hes going in public with a hard on. (he's done it before and it was agony. its your fault he was hard. what have you done)

♡ he would never tell a single soul what kind of porn he watches. but i will, because im the one writing this post

♡ hes embarrassed about how much he enjoys the idea of you pegging him if ya dont have the necessary bits. the first video he watched of someone absolutely railing a guys ass, he got so painfully hard in an instant. ended up not being able to keep himself quiet as he furiously stroked his throbbing dick while he clamped his hand over his mouth for some sort of noise control.

♡ the first time he tried to fuck his own ass was a challenge. yes, his fingers sufficed, they were long enough to reach the right spot, but he didnt know lube was necessary (inexperienced virgin moment) so he just stuck them in dry, and that along with the pain of stretching himself open made for an unpleasant insertion. but he eventually got the hang of it and shot a massive load all over his stomach in like three minutes.

♡ huge praise kink. i'd say he has more of a thing for being praised than degraded, although he likes both. nobody has said a kind word to him in his life, rarely even a simple "thank you". he needs you to tell him hes good, that hes doing so well taking your strap, devouring your cunt, sucking your cock- anything. he just wants to hear that hes doing a good job, and that someone thinks positively of him for once, in a non-sexual context as well.

♡ but he also enjoys when youre a little mean to him in the bedroom, of course. he fucking loves being manhandled, choked, slapped, spit on, or having his dick or ass used just for your pleasure.

♡ LOVES EATING PUSSY!!!! the taste, the smell, the slick and cum all over his face while he grinds against the mattress, getting off to your moans- its all so incredibly hot to him. he'll literally beg to eat you out.

♡ loves sucking dick too!!! he loves taking your cock as far down his throat as he can, usually ending up gagging on it, but hes trying his best. and you know, practice makes perfect, and god, does he love practicing on you. your groans as you push his head down further onto your dick is enough to make him cream his pants. loves when you cum all over his face!!!! he prefers tasting you though.

♡ will cum too fast if he doesnt control himself, and thats why he'll edge himself for as long as you need. the overstimulation from edging feels so fucking good to him, so he really doesnt mind at all if chasing your orgasm takes a while. he gets so drunk off fucking you, he could spend the entire day rutting into your slick warmth.

♡ he can simulate that fantasy by letting you cockwarm him all night, or while hes doing paperwork, or just when youre cuddling on the couch. he cant get enough of being inside of you, he always wants more.

♡ sometimes he'll have to pull out of you and squeeze the base of his cock while he takes slow breaths to stop himself from cumming, his bottom lip crushed painfully between his teeth as sweat drips from his forehead, eyes squeezed shut while he lets out several high pitched whimpers at every exhale. its a pretty sight.

♡ hes veryyy vocal. even if he tried to be quiet he cannot shut up to save his life. has to at least whisper frantic, slurred praises into your ear about how good you feel, how beautiful/handsome/amazing you are, and how you take his cock so well like your holes were made to fit him inside of you, like a puzzle piece- his way of putting it into words.

♡ you were the missing piece in his life for so long, being inside of you is the closest he'll ever get to becoming one with a devine being such as you. he truly does worship you.

♡ hes even louder when hes close, rambling about how bad he wants to fill your tight little hole with his cum, and how good you feel milking his cock.

♡ he loves to edge you as much as he does to himself. your desperate pleads and whines for release, the release that is in his power to take away from you, gives him a blissful feeling of control. he'll make you beg for him to keep fucking you with his fingers, stroking your dick- whatever it would be, he wants to hear you cry for him. he thinks youre so lovely when you cry.

♡ he can be mean about it too. sometimes he'll listen and keep pleasuring you, but goes agonizingly slow, just to hear you beg for it harder, faster, just to make your pretty eyes gloss over with tears. he'll just giggle at you looking so pathetic under him, the knowledge of the state you're in being because of what hes doing to you gets him so excited.

♡ wipes away your tears with his thumb while mockingly cooing about how he knows it hurts, but youre just not asking nice enough.

♡ it honestly just gives him a major power trip. he's like this more often when he's in his riddler getup. you know, the thing about being his true self under the mask, no shame, no limits, blah blah.

♡ not to say he cant be submissive when hes the riddler. because you can totally make him drop the scary, dominant act in like 2 seconds. hes not as tough as he feels in the costume.

♡ but if you let him indulge in his heightened ego he'll make sure you cant even stand up for a couple hours. he got too sillygoofy (wrecked ur guts with his dick) sorry

♡ he's so easy to turn on. it's he really just you being you that gets him so worked up. woke up to your sleepy, angelic self cuddled up next to him? horny. you gave him a hug that lingered for too long? horny. youre wearing his jacket that looks adorably big on you? MEGA HORNY.

♡ he just likes when you wear his clothes in general. he'll take any opportunity he can to offer you his clothes. he thinks you look really cute and hot in them and it gets him all flustered.

♡ he cant pick between chest, ass, or thighs. all of them are so good to him. his head between your thighs, or shoved in your chest with his tongue lapping at your nipples, or having his palm full of the plush flesh of your ass while he fucks you from behind- its all so heavenly to him.

♡ hes a tummy guy too. if you have a chubbier tummy he'll go SO nuts over it. he needs to squeeze your love handles or he'll die. he loves tummy rolls too!! he is GOING to drool over your body no matter what size or shape you are.

♡ speaking of your tummy, he likes having his hand on your stomach while he fucks you. its like a reminder of how deep inside of you he is. he loves having you full of him.

♡ loves the idea of breeding you and getting you pregnant, but if you cant, having you full of his cum is still his way of reassuring himself that you belong to him.

♡ hes very possessive when it comes to you. youre the one good thing hes ever had, and hes not letting you go. ever. and he lets you know that with the way he repeats the word "mine" like a mantra against your love bite covered neck.

♡ he gets extremely jealous easily, and the best way to make him feel better is to let him bury himself inside of you and mark up your body to alleviate his insecurities. he'll leave bruises and hickeys in very noticeable spots, and be like "oops, sorry 🥺" but hes absolutely not. he did it on purpose as his way of telling all of gotham "fuck you, theyre mine."

—

oki doki im gonna stop there or this post is gonna be way too long . i have lots of Thoughts about this guy bfgdudhdh i hope this is like. good. or decent

[edgeray]

Ray every time you post angst im angrily poking the glass of your aquarium >:(

since you clearly HATE me 🙄 can I have some fluff 👉👈

Personal Heater

(Arlecchino x GN! Reader)

A/N - Yes, obviously I hate you 🙄. Anyways, how'd you like the arlevie post? :) Hurt, didn't it? Also, no, fuck your fluff,  you're not getting it. Did I hear MORE ANGST :D Content warnings / info - author was just joking: this is fluff, gn! reader, 0.8k words

“Arle,” you tiredly call out, a yawn escaping you as you crack open the office door a bit, revealing your husband still working at her desk. It was already past midnight, and she's been working for the entire day without any breaks except your impromptu visits and for meals. You noticed that she didn't eat as much meat as she usually does in order to return to her paperwork immediately. 

Arlecchino's tuft of hair perks up underneath the piles of paper, and her eyes promptly soften, and a small smile plays on her lips. She sets down her pen. “Yes, love?” 

You open the door more so you can step in, a plate with a cup of tea on top of it in your hand. In your other is another plate, this time of steak tartare, which you personally whipped up. Striding up to her, you set down both of the dishes, before leaning over the desk to place a chaste kiss on the top of her hair. You pull away, chastising her tenderly. “Don't think you were sneaky when you skimped out during dinner. You barely ate.”

A low chuckle comes from your husband and she shakes her head. “I would never think of it, dear. Thank you.” 

Reaching out for your hand, she takes it in hers and she presses her lips against your knuckle, kissing softly as a gesture of her gratitude. You flush slightly. 

“How long will it take for you to finish?” You sigh, observing the small eye bags she dons. 

“I'm afraid that I won't be done until another hour or two. You do not have to wait for me.”

“And go to sleep without my personal heater?” You pout, crossing your arms.

“Is that all I am to you? A personal heater? Not your husband or the ‘Father’ of our children?” Arlecchino muses, lifting her eyebrows as a playful glint catches in her red pupils. 

“Exactly,” you answer with a matching smirk, “you've finally learned of my nefarious intentions.” 

Your husband huffs out in amusement, and she turns in her chair, extending out her arms in order to invite you into her embrace. You don't waste any time accepting it, practically skipping around her desk to sit onto her lap. Wrapping your arms around her neck and seating over her thighs, you clamber into her warm figure. Nuzzling into the space between her shoulder and neck, you kiss up the side of her neck. She kisses the side of your head, right above your ear. 

“I've missed you,” you say in between kisses, placing a kiss on her jawline. 

“I've been here this entire day.”

“Still. Can I stay here until you're done?” 

“Of course.”

You sit there, soaking up all of her body heat, and on occasion shifting your sitting stance to be more comfortable. Arlecchino continues working in that position, unbothered by your weight on top of her. Occasionally, she takes a sip of the tea you bring her but has yet to touch the tartare.

“You need to eat, it'll get bad if you don't,” you remark, using the power of guilt tripping.

It's super effective. “Alright, dear. Would you like some?” 

You shake your head, but then an idea pops up inside your head, a mischievous smile sliding onto your lips. “Can I feed you? You can keep working if I do.” 

Your husband nods, and you squirm in your seat to turn around in her lap. Taking the plate, you take a spoonful of the raw meat, lifting it to her lips. Silently, she allows you to spoon feed her, until the plate is scraped clean. 

“Thank you,” she hums. You nod, and set aside the plate, before turning in her lap again to lean your chin on her shoulder. Eventually, you find an arrangement comfortable to where you fall asleep, your soft snores filling the room. Arlecchino smiles tenderly at you, carding her fingers through your hair as she continues working, scribing down the final details of the mission report. 

Finished with her work, she places down her pen, before carefully and slowly carrying you by sliding her hands underneath your form, lifting you up. You cling onto her unconsciously, and the carrying motion only makes your head placement. With you still in her arms, she walks silently through the hallway to the shared bedroom, where she peels you off of her and places you on the bed, making sure to pull the covers over you. She goes to the bathroom for her nightly routine, before returning to the bed, sliding under the blankets.

Her arms wrap around your midsection, tugging you towards her where you lay partially on top of her, your head against her chest where you can hear the steady rhythm of her heartbeat.

Arlecchino watches you for a few moments, your peaceful slumber a common, but nonetheless, appealing sight to her. You’re just so adorable, and Arlecchino can't help but be blissful that this is what every night is like for her: that she gets to hold you like this everyday. 

She gives you a final kiss to your forehead, before resting her chin on your head and closing her eyes.

“Goodnight, my love.”  

[icarusredwings]

What is the puppy Logan lore?🥺🙏

IM SO GLAD YOU ASKED totally unprompted.

Tw: impure regression, past abuse, slight mention of pet play, death, non ethical, and ethical cannibalism(?)

Special thanks to: @stucky-just-stucky and others

This is ALL consentual, btw. Cause consent is cool and sexy kids.

SO ANYWAY.

Puppy Logan, right?

We all know that Logan is dog coded, gaurd dog, yes, but also puppy. Except he swaps between wolf, puppy, and kitten. He was raised with wolves in most comics, so it makes a ton of sense for him to have more wolf like behaviors than say - idk. A golden? He's not a golden. And he's not for first-time owners. He needs an experienced, patiant, and preferably regenerative owner.

So his head would be lowered a lot, he would correct Puppins like the "alpha" of their little pack, he'd howl and expect Wade or Mary to awnser, he's going to make a den, he's gonna try to hide his bones under the carpet, he's going to be tense and slow, big and kind of clumsy, big pawed fucker loves the snow but the metal in his bones makes him too cold to pull a husky. Aka, sleep in a loaf out in a blizzard. He'd love to do that again, but his metal won't let him. If it was just bone, Wade would never be able to get him to come home from the woods during winter.

This goes back to the puppins thing, but wolves are PACK animals. He NEEDS his pack and HATES being alone. He likes to try to play with other people if theyre chill and even other dogs who are considered "too rough" with other dogs, though sometimes Wade gets scared his claws will come out if his prey drive activates. For the most part, even regressed Logan is extremely gentle with small things (except rabbits. R.I.P. all rabbits logan sees when regressed. They're GONE, sweetheart. Rabbit heaven.) And while this does inclue laura and gabby, bassically any of his X-Kits, only a few can handle his rough play style. This is why it's important for his owner to be able to regenerate, or you can't play with him to his full needs.

He has two collars. The first one is a simple, literal blue dog collar. But the red one is more kinky and says bad dog on its tag, but the other one just says "Logan"

Well, the thing im cooking is that sometimes the blue one is involved with Logans impure regression, Logan being kind of skittish and territorial.

Ie. Growling at Puppins and trying to steal her food, stealing her bed, not letting puppins to sit on Wades lap, etc

Sometimes, in the blue one, he's more "Play with me" puppy. Sometimes hes "Ill bite your fucking hand off" puppy.

Because of this, He's still learning his recall in his blue collar, so he's sometimes not allowed off leash in the woods without a tracker, but He is in his red one cause hes more big that way.

But it's Logans choice what color he wears on what day. It's NOT just a collar.

It's unwritten consent bassically AND how he needs handled. If logan is conscious and acting like a bad dog on purpose, Wade can "punish" him. If Blue Collar logan is being "bad," he doesn't mean it, and he needs to be gentle with him.

Depends on what he's doing for how Wade handles it. Sometimes, he has to break out the ... AHEM ... BB words.... (bad boy) COUGH

But in all honesty? Wade raises him like a normal puppy plus a lot more words, explanations, etc.

"Oh, No baby, you can't eat puppins food- er Logan sweetheart thats dog-"

"Grrrr"

"Okay, Okay I understand. I know Grrr but thats literal dog food are you sure you wanna-"

"...bleh"

"Yeah, thought so- Why are you eating it again!? Logan! No! Comere big boy. Comere. That's a good puppy. Here you want this?" *Gets the ham out of the fridge and wiggles it so his husband stops eating dog food*

Its not even the fact that he wants to eat dog food its just the fact hes stubborn and has eaten worse... Hence why theres bowls in the kitchen on the floor that say "Logan" on them and sometimes get filled with meat or cereal, cause if not he'll just subconsciously get in the trash or eat puppins food and then get a tummy ache for obvious reasons.

Logan flucuates between kitten and puppy all the time since wolverines are bassically cat dogs. So if hes just sitting there, Wade will go for the head or his cheeks, if hes up laying on his lap, he'll pet down his back and give him a scratch on the chin.

He's practically nonverbal too.

Can he talk? Yes. Does he often? Nope.

Body language is Wade's best friend when he's this way. It's quite obvious, though, with how vocal he is, between the snarls, the chittering, purrs, growls, hissing, groans, and grunts.

Play time (Pure regression) Logan is much more wiggly and obedient, will play fetch and do tricks for treats, and simply wants loved and praised.

Rescue (impure regression) Logan is skittish, snappy, and honestly just wants left alone with his things.

Play time Logan is playing tug with puppins and putting his ball in Al's hand while asleep and nudging her to throw it.

Rescue Logan is laying at Wades feet chewing a bone and snapping at his hand if he tries to touch him when he has food or puppins come near them.

Red collar logan by now is humping Wade's leg and has gotten into the fridge to eat half the chicken.

Play time logan barks and howls, btw. It terrifies the neighbors.

Petre and agere isn't all fun and cuddles. Sometimes, it invovles being alone and trying to sort out your memories/ do therapy.

Just like ive explained, 'rescue' Logan lounges around thinking about stuff and because of all the bad thoughts and most likely bad dreams or ideas revolving his abuse and stryker, he just chills out, naps, lays his head on wades lap, chews his ball, not much. Imagine an older abused dog. This is Logan's impure regression.

#inhisfeels

Meanwhile, he's a happy, energetic 6 month old puppy during pure 'play time' regression.

Blue collar Logan doesn't do on leash walks. He's terrified of them both rescue and play time Logan. Play time logan will yelp and whimper as if you're hurting him and immediately lay flat on the ground and rescue logan will bite you before you can even clip it on.

Red collar Logan will let you leash him though. For.. reasons..

It's from his younger days when he wasn't given food, had to steal food, etc. You have to remember that Logan ran away from home pretty young and was used to being able to hunt food whenever he wanted until the military and yk he lived in al the wars as well as the great depression so food is a must. He has to scarf it down before someone else takes it.

Rescue Logan is also extremely food agressive but play time Logan is still being trained that its okay if Wade is next to him when he eats and if he pets him while he eats logans hips wiggle a bit. He's learning stuff like "wait" and "easy" and "roll over" etc.

Literally pure regression Logan:

I HC that he was "punished" by starving him in the army but because he's "the runt" victor gave him some of his food too but in return victor would lecture him about how humans always will treat him badly.

He also lived with wolves, and in the pack, the dad wolf always ate first, then the mom, then the strongest kid. Well, since Logan was one of their pups, he would fight for his place in the pack, therefore fighting literal wolves to eat when new pups were born and said pups grew and tried to show their dominance by taking his food but Logan wouldn't let them (obviously).

Wade will ultimatly "fix" this issue by feeding Logan in the kitchen with his own bowl and teaching Mary never to go near his bowls.

Eventually, Logan will learn that Wades presence is good because he's being the "Pack leader" by defending his food FOR him. Aka less aggression, and I personally always ADD food to the shelter dog' food bowls if for any reason I have to be near them when eating. (I've worked shelter for a decade)

So eventually, rescue Logan will learn that Wade= more food, not take away.

Play time logan has already learned this and will wiggle if wade pets his head when he's eating but WILL still bite if he catches wade taking food AWAY from him. Meanwhile rescue Logan will immediately start growling if you're too close.

He didn't show Wade his puppy side until after they were dating a while. There were always signs, but Logan didn't fully tell him or let himself slip until he trusted him not to make fun of him. His little puppy self is still learning that Wade can be trusted around food - Mary, not so much.

Mary is really bad about taking food that isn't hers cause Wade keeps feeding her human scraps off his plate, so she thinks she can do that to Logan too, which AT WORST ends up with logan shoving her over and standing over her while snarling in her face or putting a "paw" on her to "correct" her puppy misdeeds.

Wade gets scared when this happens, but in reality, correction without a nip is VERY good for food agressive pups.

Althea only found out recently.

She would probably go to "pet the new dog" and be like, "What the!? Wade what the fuck! This is logan! Ugh you better not be naked! I don't wanna be apart of what ever nastiness you have going on!!" Lmao. Unironically this was Play time Logan so he's just sitting here with his head cocked, ball in his mouth like "why the fuck isn't this lady throwing my ball??"

Also- Vanessa doesn't know. Laura doesn't know. Gabby knows on accident, but thankfully, she thought he was just being silly and pretending, Morph knows, Kurt doesn't know, but he's aware of how animalistic Logan is. Jean knows slightly, Scott doesn't know, Storm doesn't know, Beast doesn't know.

Charles knew...

He's the one that told Logan "what was wrong with him," though. Cause Logan thought it was wrong, and he was a freak for sometimes snapping at his students/ teammates and wanting to crawl around and chew on Jean's shoes and steal Ororo's sweater to lay with.

It's why some nights Logan ended up curled up at the end of Charles' bed and would start barking out the window when Erik tried to come in. The idea of Erik setting him outside the door and locking it only for Logan to sit there, blink, and process what just happened is so funny. This is clearly exaggerated but its a silly thought.

Logan would never trust the person who told the other x men ever again, and since Charles is dead, that only leaves Jean, Morph, and Wade to snitch.

Further clarification:

So pure "Play time" regression is like Wade when he's a kid and he's at the park and he's giggling playing, coloring, watching my little pony etc.

Impure regression is when the truama forces you to be little, so like when Wade felt like logan abandoned him, so he became small at peters' house in that one ficlet "Notes"

Logan's "impure" regression would be caused by him thinking about bad thoughts, stress, or something that triggered him to regress. Triggered regression is also "forced" regression and sometimes can be through positive association.

Like when Wade saw that toy shop and went all squeaky and lit up. "Kitty!!"

"Yeah. I see bub, but we have to catch our train."

"Eeehh!! Kitty!"

"Kiddo we don't have-"

And he sees his innocent and excited he is and groans "im gonna regret this. You can get ONE toy."

*proceeds to walk out with an entire bag cause Wade is spoiled*

He likes meat, cereal, whole mik, those scooby snack treats, raw bones, cooked bones, and bones. It doesn't really matter as long as there's meat to rip off. He likes pretzel sticks and bread sticks, too. His favorite is when Wade gives him raw meat or hell, People's legs.

General ideas:

When he yawns really big, he shows all his teeth and makes the squeak noise then shakes his head.

Wade makes dog safe cookies shaped like dog bones for Puppins and Logan.

Litsen my boys are NOT above cannibalism and if theyre already dead, Logan was taught not to waste by the natives. So who is he to judge?

"Look what I got! Its a super ultra bloody femur with meat bits still on it"

"Eww... wade.. you cant just-"

"Aw.. you dont want it?"

"........ gimme the fucking leg"

No but I did say that Logans puppy regression is CRAZY when he sees a fresh untouched snowy forest and that Wade would have to call for him for like 10 minutes until Logan comes trotting back with a deer leg in his mouth.

@nuggetpool-hi mentioned how Logan would probably like chewing on Wade's disgarded limbs because of some weird subconsious desire to devour his loved ones and how they would stink like wade.

"Now im inside you peanut"

".....I'm going to fucking stab you if you keep saying that."

Wade no, let this man gnaw on his bone on the living room floor in PEACE. Even Mary is side eyeing you for that comment.

And then @whiskeyandcigarsmoke replied, saying that Wade would tell him it was time to go home, and he'd hide in the den that he dug out because he wouldn't wanna go home.

I can see them older and married and if Logan is mad at Wade wade just picks up a stick outside.

"You want it? Huh? You want it?"

"Wade... No... Im still mad at you!"

"WADE- stop"

"You wanna get it big boy?"

"Ggggrrr..."

And Logan would stand there for a second, growling with his arms crossed.

"Ooohh yes you do! Oh yes you do GO GET IT"

"You cant... just.." but his eyes keep going back to the stick.

"Go on! Go get it! Go get it for me! Suchba good boy!"

And Logan finally sighs, grumbling under his breath as he goes to get the fucking stick.

"Yeah hes my good boy."

Even better if logan is fishing and someone compliments his skill.

And you see this old mans head SNAP to him, Glare, and then get beat red. Poor guy can't beat the "good boy" allegations..

Extra:

I feel a huge part of red collar Logan's relationship with Wade is:

Logan: *SNARLS in his face*

Wade: Mornin Wolvie!

Logan: *Stabs him in the stomach*

Wade: Hot.

Logan, mentally: Wtf? Why isn't he scared of me? 🤨 wait.. He's not scared of me 🥹 omg

[smilesheartshugs]

Halloween AU pt.2

A continuation of:

Tim centric

It’s been four months since his parents were last home. About a month since he ran out of food. Three days ago the water faucets stopped working. Good news! His parents should be home soon! They promised they’d be home for his birthday! It’s his birthday tomorrow so his parents must be home soon! Until then he’ll wait in his safe spot. Years ago he had found a hollowed out section of wall in his closet. He can hear everything in the house from that spot. It’s also the warmest spot in the house. Especially when he moves the boxes to block the draft from entering his little budding spot. With the heater broken durning the unusually cold weather, the isolation of the walls keep his little hiddy hole warm. With nothing else to distract himself from his thirst and hunger, he might as well take a nap until his parents return home.

When Tim wakes up he’s face to face with his own body. Fear and confusion runs through him. What is he going to do when his parents get home?

He fazes through everything instead of touching it. At least he doesn’t feel hungry any more.

It’s another two months before his parents return home. With that time was able to practice picking things up and interact with the tangible world. If he didn’t know he was dead he would think he was still apart of the living.

After helping his parents unpack the first thing he says is “I died while you where away”

“Don’t be ridiculous Timothy you’re just fine. Obviously you’re standing right here” his mother responds

“No im a ghost!” Tim insisted

“There’s no such thing as ghost sport cease this game at once” his father answers

“No really my body is in my closet!”

The family argues back and forth for a bit which Jack and Janet believing Tim to be playing a game. They angrily look in his closet only to not see his body. After all it’s in the hidden hiddy hole in the very back behind some of the boxes. His parents leave before time could move the boxes out of the way. His body is certainly worse for wear. Areas have puffed up in some spots while other areas of flesh has melted away. When he first woke up after dieing his body only looked like it was asleep, now it looks like it belongs in a zombie movie.

Three years later

Jack and Janet are disappointed that Tim hasn’t grown any, he makes a shrimp ten year old. Tim has stopped insisting that he’s dead. The creative punishment his parents dish out has long made him stop wanting to prove his death.

Tim still checks on what’s left of his body, it’s mostly bone now, but it’s proof he’s not crazy and that he really did die. He watched as his flesh slowly rotted away.

He’s made friends with the Waynes, they think he’s a normal human boy, all be it a bit small. He learns that other undead creatures exist, as well as other hunting beings. Jason is another undead, though he got to keep his original body. He was murdered by a clown about a year after Bruce took him in. No one has seen the clown since then though. Tim suspects that the clown may have been one of the goul’s first meals that the werbat provided. That would explain why Jason was so quick to forgive Bruce and why the clown hasn’t been seen again.

Jason brings a lot of raw meat for his school lunches, usually beef or lamb. Though recently it’s been a lot more lamb than cow, Tim wonders why that’s the case.

One day Jason drags Tim back to Wayne manor under the guise of studying for their upcoming test together. Tim was quick to bond with the rest of the family. He’s felt more at home here than he’s ever felt back in drake manner. It doesn’t take long until Tim becomes a regular guest at Wayne manor.

Even though he doesn’t need to eat, Tim never turns down a meal. In fact, he’s almost always snacking on something. Even on those cardboard cookies no one likes. Well it might be more accurate to say he doesn’t physically need to eat. He gets anxious if he hasn’t had any thing to eat for a while. It’s nice of the Wayne’s to bring him all these extra snacks though!

Two years later

Tim is a regular fixture in Wayne manor. After finding out how often his parents are away they insisted that he’d stay with them.

This brings us to the current problem. Cass needs to cast a protection charm on the manner, a ward agent an evil cult. Unfortunately there’s one ingredient that Cass can’t get her hands on.

“A bone of an unburied one freely given.”

What this means is that she needs a bone of someone who hasn’t had a funeral, which means she can’t just buy one off of a donated body. Stupid old spells with stupid specific unwritten rules that make more sense or the time period it was written in and not modern day. She also can’t look for lost hikers in the woods because they can’t give consent to being in the spell.

But Tim could help! He’s never had a funeral, and he’s here to give his consent for using his bones! It’s a win win!

While the older Wayne’s were trying to figure out how the spell would work with some from if substitute Tim convinces Jason to come help him get something from his bedroom back in drake manor.

“So what are we grabbing baby bird?” Jason asks Tim

“You’ll see when we get there” Tim replies. He’s learned that he can’t convince people he’s dead. He learned that the hard way.

“Okay okay but why am I bringing a box again?”

“My boxes are all stained”

Tim brings Jason to his closet where he moves those old boxes out of the way.

“Baby bird what is this?” Jason asks a little freak out about the skeleton in the closet.

“The missing ingredient for cass’s spell!” Tim answers cheerfully.

“Tim, we can’t use this with out their permission, why do you have a corps in your closet?” Jason is freaking out that there’s a dead person in the baby bird’s closet and he doesn’t know how it got there.

“No im giving you permission to use it!”

“Tim you can’t give permission for someone else’s body”

“No! Jason you don’t understand! I’m giving you permission to use it!” Tim has frustration tears in his eyes.

That’s how Jason found out that his baby bird was dead, be the looks of it he’s been dead for a while.

“Now help me bring it to Cass?”

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

I don’t know why, but I cannot stop thinking of Tan hc’s of like caring for his partner and tending to her after she’s given birth (am I just feeling kinda fragile and thus just want Tan to coddle and care for me? Mayhaps)

you can’t just say that and expect me not to elaborate

DAD TAN WITH A NEW BABY.

dude omg!! and he'd kinda be a scatterbrain bc he's running on minimal sleep, and he's got dad scruff with his stache??????? and he looks all dishevelled and sleepy and and and CRIKEY!!!

I definitely think he's the kind that pours from an empty cup. he's tired and adjusting to the new baby etc, but he'd push himself further into discomfort to make you feel better. so like you're both tired, but he'd rather absorb your tiredness, so that you don't feel it. think im overcomplicating it?? basically he gives too much of himself so that you feel a little better

he suggests maybe sitting in the garden might do you both some good. so you're not cooped up in the house, and get some fresh air while still being safe (he's too paranoid about going out with new baby)

said this before, but he makes a mean spaghetti bolognese (it's not traditional, and it's very english) so he'd make that as a comfort meal for you. or if you don't eat meat, then forget what I just said. or gluten, then also forget what I said lol

although the new baby's needs are important to him, yours are a little above (if you're not taken care of, the whole system collapses kinda thing)

your time together as a couple is important, so you both want to utilise it. I have this cute thought of it being 3am, and you're both running on 2 hours sleep, and you're sitting on the floor by the door outside your bedroom (like in the hallway/ landing area) eating takeout food (pictured taco bell first, but that's not great for all tummies, so I'll let you imagine what you want lol) the baby is the basket beside your bed sleeping. and you're just having a cute little floor picnic. so you're still having quality time as a couple, and fitting it in where and when you can

he loves your new mum bod. says cute endearing things bc he's the cutest little lamb. he's developed father superpowers and suddenly knows how to do things (that's not to say he was incompetent (bc he never was) but things he didn't know how to do before, he can do) so he's helping you get ready for the day while you're feeding baby

cuddles on the couch with new baby sleeping in your arms??? him helping you bathe???? him helping you dress??? him trying his best to organise your things for you?? him suggesting things from the new fatherhood book he bought??? him staying up after you've fallen asleep so he can take care of baby and let you sleep a little longer??? him washing your hair??? him surprising you with deliveries he bought secretly??? him getting excited about buying baby new things?? him wearing just pj bottoms??? him just wanting to take care of you?? him?? him!! HIM!! i forgot how to breathe

DAMNIT OMG OK man woo okay okay. you've got me going on a tangent I LOVE DAD TAN sue me

[roseykat]

TITLE: Play Night

SUMMARY: Things between Jisung and Hyunjin are heating up, and leading towards their group trip to Jeju, Jisung needs to clear a few things up with Chan; about you and him and the current secret bet in place that he unintentionally started.

TAGS: smut, handjobs, orgasms, kissing, making out, hickies, soft/fluff/slice of life moments, swearing, slight confrontation (nothing toxic), use of alcohol (Hyunjin is slightly drunk but what takes place after is consensual), some Harry Potter spoilers/references (sorry if you haven't watched HP)?

WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won’t be able to regulate/monitor every potential interaction with those posts so please do not engage with me, my work, or page whatsoever.

MASTERLIST - PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4

🏷️LIST: @chillichillicrabcrab23 @broken-glowsticks @ihatemen55 @boi-bi-ahaha @galamxy @weareapackofstrays @anglerfishiey @elizalabs3 @princejisung @fr34k4c1dr41n @stayconnecteed @imnotjjini0325 @twinklix @meilix @dawn-iscozy @valibals @oiikaro @im-sinking-in-mud @aalexyuuuhm @baby-yongbok @1dk-anym0r3 @wealwayskeepfighting @flowersun @huening-kawaii @newhope8 @leftkittenface @20minsat180degrees @itsthatbri 🩷

“Oh, now this - what about this one?” 

Hyunjin hears Jisung’s voice from the aisle beside him where all the cold drinks are located. He himself had been scanning vigorously among the shelves for his favourite brand of ramen, only to come up short. They had been to four convenience stores prior and not one had what he was looking for. It landed them a trip further away than they had expected, but neither of them complained about wandering around far from where they were supposed to be.

After he straightens up and peeks his head over the snacks to see what Jisung was talking about, he shakes his head solemnly. 

“No. No, that one's grape flavoured and it tastes like children’s medicine,” he says to him. 

Jisung looks down at the purple can in his possession, “that’s oddly specific - oh, then what about orange-“

“Same thing.”

Jisung huffs and gives up, placing the can back where he found it in a disgruntled fashion, “you’re an easy man to please you know, but the minute it comes to food you’re so picky.” 

Hyunjin strolls around to meet Jisung on the other side after filling his basket with snacks that had caught his eye and wanted to eat during their movie night, “drinks aren’t food.” 

“Then what’s soup? A drink or a food?” He fires back.

“Not this again,” Hyunjin rolls his eyes and closes the fridge for Jisung who follows behind closely. 

They’ve been debating about this for a while now which started off as a very contentious pillow talk topic that now crops up frequently. Of course, they wouldn’t be themselves if they didn’t have opposing opinions. Jisung, who thinks that soup is absolutely a drink, has been pushing that agenda ever since the night he tried to cook French onion soup to impress Hyunjin.

Only, it wasn’t that impressive, and was rather just a slurry of tasteless onion water and zero seasoning. In order to not upset his friend for trying his hardest, Hyunjin did his best to stomach the interesting creation and honestly hoped that he never tried again.

“It’s an important question!” Jisung begins to protest, ready with an army of rebuttals and arguments. 

“Soup is a liquid food. That doesn’t mean to say it’s a drink, because you can eat soup. Plus, some soups have chunks of food in it too.” 

“That’s just vegetable water or meat water.”

“Meat water,” Hyunjin repeats in a disgusted tone. “So you’re also saying that plain water is soup too?”

“Well, if you heat it up-“

“Okay,” Hyunjin interrupts as he dumps all their items onto the counter and takes out his wallet to pay. “Stop talking.”

“Make me,” he mouths and teases quietly so that the cashier couldn’t hear him. “If you stuff my mouth with something big then it might get me to stop talking.” 

Hyunjin rolls his eyes, again. 

Nearly every waking moment that he’s around Jisung, there’s always a guarantee that he’ll make Hyunjin’s eyes roll; whether it’s because of some weird shit that comes out of his mouth, or whether it’s giving him an orgasm. Whatever the reason, Hyunjin pretends to ignore him as he collects his goods, then heads out with his best friend at his side. 

The entire commute back to his apartment, Jisung kept talking. On and on, and on about an assortment of subjects that Hyunjin had no interest in. At least not now. Not when all he wanted to do was go home, not speak, and just laze around with Jisung like he has been for the past few weeks. That thought seems to trigger a very sobering realisation that dawns on him as they ride the train back to his place.

As Hyunjin looks at the side of Jisung’s face who’s been rambling on about his opinion on the best types of pasta, he realises that they’ve been hooking up for the past few weeks. They kiss, make out, do other things, but not once have they had sex. Yet. They haven’t even talked about it, and yet, a part of Hyunjin had to wonder; was there any point in even talking let alone thinking about it if whatever is going on between them, isn’t going to last? 

His eyebrows knit together. He doesn’t want to think about that. Hyunjin doesn’t know whatever feelings Jisung has right now, but the one thing he knows is that he likes the sense of comfort that hanging around him brings. What if he asks and disrupts what they have? What if he asks and ruins Jisung’s thoughts on him?

As those questions infiltrate his psyche, his head lowers and comes to rest on Jisung’s shoulder, eyelids closing softly, “wake me up when we get to our stop please.” 

Jisung’s big brown eyes turn into the size of plates, a little bit taken aback that Hyunjin, a person who isn’t that huge on public displays of affection, is resting on him right now. Not to mention the privileged feeling that inflates Jisung whenever a person rests their head on his shoulder, which is very rare. It’s like some physical way of saying that Hyunjin trusts him, or feels comfortable around him at the very least. 

He scans up and down the cart where no members of the public come into his view. Grateful for their absence, Jisung feels safe by reciprocating the same affections. So he places his hand on Hyunjin’s upper thigh, and he too rests his head against his friends’.

For the next five minutes, Jisung and Hyunjin would ride the train back to his place in peace. Neither of them spoke a word until they reached their stop. The pair of them hop up, Hyunjin stands and stretches his long limbs as he and his friend head inside the apartment complex. 

Once they return to his place, Hyunjin prepares all the snacks for them on his coffee table, while Jisung gets the movie ready that they - he - wanted to watch.

“Harry Potter? Again?” Hyunjin groans, taking the plastic wrap off of the kimbap to share and setting it down on the surface once they’ve both sunken down onto the couch. 

“What do you mean ‘again’?” Jisung shoots him a dirty look. He’s always been pretty serious about his Harry Potter, having watched the movies over a thousand times and read the books back to back. “This is the next part of the series, thank you.” 

Hyunjin sighs and makes himself comfortable. He then heads to his fridge to grab a couple of bottles of soju and some shot glasses. Back at the convenience store, he meant to buy something non alcoholic, had he not been so picky about the flavours Jisung presented to him he wouldn’t be deciding on whether he should have alcohol or not. In saying that, it was nice to have a drink.

He strolls back to the coffee table with their final items and places them all down.

"Oh, yum," Jisung gasps and reaches for the bottle, unscrews the cap and starts pouring the clear liquid into both shot glasses already.

Hyunjin stares at him as he downs the alcohol in one smooth go, "alright then..."

Jisung holds up the other shot glass for Hyunjin, "your turn."

He takes it in hand, careful not to spill it on the rug beneath him - then again, it's seen a lot more messier liquids on it than alcohol.

"Yuck," Hyunjin retches after swallowing half of the contents in the glass.

"Come on, you know you like it," Jisung nudges him. "You know the saying; if you can handle cum, you can handle alcohol."

Hyunjin nearly sprays out the rest of the alcohol from his mouth as a muddle of amusement, concern, and curiosity wakes him up more than the semi-burn of the drink does, "and who said that exactly?"

"Me," he answers. "Hence why I can take both so well."

Like some of the time, Jisung wasn't wrong and summed it up with another shot before he picked up the remote to play the movie. He settles back comfortably while Hyunjin takes another shot of the soju.

He makes it through the first twenty minutes of the film, then reaches the part where Harry Potter suddenly gets selected for the Triwizard Tournament. By that point, Hyunjin was sure the alcohol had fully trickled into his bloodstream when he wasn't able to tell the difference between Mad Eye Moody and Hagrid.

Frames started to blend together and yet, he thought it was still a good idea to continue drinking to see if that would help. However, most good idea turn to bad ones. The alcohol began to play absolutely no part in trying to help him make sense of the plot and made him focus on other things rather than the movie.

It was safe to say that he grew steadily bored when it came to watching it. At the same time, he didn't have the heart in him to express his opinion to the person beside him who was so wrapped up in the universe on screen. Jisung's eyes were completely glued to the digital motions before him whereas Hyunjin's eyes were glued to him.

Boredom strikes him bad when he feels the need to lean over and make his long body comfortable on Jisung. Hyunjin's upper torso stretches over his friend's lap who doesn't pay too much mind to it. Jisung even hangs his arms over Hyunjin's abdomen while he watches the film contently.

It's not the type of physical contact he wants right now.

"Jisungie," he mutters into the couch.

"Hmm?"

"Can we do something else?" Hyunjin pleads rather than asks.

He never gets a response. The lounge continues to be filled with dialogue - something along the lines of Ron Weasly now having a go at Harry for being inducted into the tournament and not telling him. Hyunjin's had enough of it and for whatever reason he feels like, he slides off of Jisung's lap. Half of his body slumps onto the ground while the other half remains somewhat on the couch.

"What are you doing?" he snorts, grabbing onto Hyunjin's hands and trying to hoist him back up.

He awkwardly anchors his legs around Jisung's body in an effort to help pull himself up as well but ends up knocking his head on the edge of the coffee table. With a delayed reaction, Hyunjin winces and then laughs as he tries to rub his own head even while Jisung is still trying to save him from falling off completely.

"Here just - just stop moving so I can help," he leans back and uses all his arm strength to move what is practically dead weight to him.

Hyunjin puts in zero effort to help and instead becomes a giggling mess the second he's actually able to get back into Jisung's lap. When he does, his long limp limbs wrap themselves around the man beneath him. He hides his face in the crook of his neck, the sudden whiff of Jisung's skin almost makes him dizzy, making his mood do a complete one eighty degree turn.

It creates immense difficulty in trying to swallow the urge to plant a kiss over the soft area, earning a very quiet yet distinct hum from Jisung. Hyunjin repeats the same action, longer this time and in different spots that his tongue can swipe over. The grip Hyunjin barely knew was there on his hips, twitched in place. As if Jisung's nails are trying to dig into Hyunjin's flesh had he not worn clothes.

"Hey," Jisung alerts him. “Can’t watch the movie if all you’re trying to do is get on my dick- ah…”

Hyunjin’s mouth shuts his right up from one sharp suck into his skin. His tongue flattens over the fresh red plum mark. The sight of it alone makes Hyunjin want to decorate them over every inch of Jisung’s body, similar to the style of how he would paint a canvas - which he does. Over as much skin as Jisung lets him when he moves his head to allow Hyunjin to cover more skin.

“Y-You’ll…you’ll get me hard,” he warns, now unable to concentrate on the film.

Hyunjin pulls away from his neck, giving him a rest from the myriad of hickies he’ll have to worry about later, and looks him down in the eye, “that’s sort of the point.”

Their mouths draw together like magnets, like they’ve been doing for weeks. Every day they find their lips on the others or some body party of theirs. Jisung gets to relish and dawn in the softness of Hyunjin’s lips, letting him slip past further to explore his mouth. His needs not only start to show through in his pants, but in his breathing and frantic pace of trying to feel Jisung that he almost can’t keep up with him.

So he decides that he needs to contain him a bit, bring him down a few notches to reminds him that he’s not in charge - at least for now.

With that, Jisung wraps his hand right around Hyunjin’s waist and manoeuvres him onto his back. The abrupt shift in control makes him act up almost instantly. Hyunjin is grabbing at Jisung’s shirt trying pull his body back down to his, but his muscles are weak and tired from drinking that it makes it too easy for Jisung to straddle his hips and pin his hands to the side of his head.

“Look what you’ve done to yourself,” he tells Hyunjin right in his ear while he rolls his ass down over the dick that's hardening underneath him. "Gonna be fucking begging when I'm through with you."

At that point, the pair had gone beyond the fact of not completing a full movie night. With the way that Jisung continues to pin Hyunjin back and exchange the manifold of hickies across the planes of his throat and neck. If anyone walked into the apartment, they would’ve thought vampires truly existed with the way Jisung’s mouth was latched onto his best friend’s skin.

“T-The movie,” Hyunjin stammers hopelessly with his words. “Jisung…the movie…”

Jisung lets out a sinister chuckle as he pushes himself back up to take off his shirt and tosses it somewhere around the lounge, "fuck the movie. You started this. This is what you wanted, isn't it? To rile me up and now you've gone all shy on me."

Hyunjin doesn't listen. His first instinct is to reach out and grab Jisung’s waist, to caress his hand freely for a few moments before gliding down and grasping the flesh over his hips. The slight sting in it makes him buck his hips forward and over Hyunjin’s clothed cock, making him groan lowly. He could cum easily like this - so easily and has done.

Every position they get into to practically dry hump each other, he always imagines that this is what it would be like if Jisung was riding his throbbing cock. To cum inside him and watch his face contorts the way that it does whenever Hyunjin makes him orgasm.

That thought sparks a wire in his brain, causing him to suddenly jerk his hips up and into Jisung. He smirks down at him, soaking up the state of the man beneath him. The hickies, red and wet kissable lips, dozy eyes that slowly blink up at him…

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Jisung mutters in exasperation like he's never seen Hyunjin's body before. “Just wanna f-”

Blaring on the coffee table next to all of the opened snacks was Jisung’s phone, he quickly bends over to the side to reach for it in urgency while still trying to straddle. Hyunjin twists his body carefully with Jisung still on top, picking the remote off the floor that had fallen after being pinned back. He pauses the movie for a moment to let Jisung answer his call. 

A small weight sinks in his stomach as he speaks in shock, “it’s Chan."

"M-Maybe you should answer it," Hyunjin tries his best to talk over the exponential rate of how much he is turned on right now.

“Hello?” He answers.

“Jisung! Do you not answer your texts? I sent about six just before!”

He pulls his phone away from his ear and checks his notifications. His friend was right, Jisung had in fact missed his messages. But not on purpose of course. If he hadn't been so busy provoking Hyunjin whose hands started sliding up Jisung’s thighs, dangerously close to his tented crotch, he would've seen the texts.

Hyunjin's fingertips delicately trace over where Jisung's cock begins to harden. His eyebrows furrow immediately as Chan continues speaking on the other end of the line about how he’s still surprised that Jisung didn’t answer him right away. 

“You’re always on your phone, I thought you might’ve been quick to respond,” says Chan.

“Oh, yeah not this time,” he responds truthfully, to some degree. “I’ve been watching Harry Potter all evening and-“

The words ready to leave Jisung's mouth die before they make it out as Hyunjin mischievously, and very clearly, starts to palm Jisung’s hard length over his pants. It didn’t take him that long to start leaking from his tip, creating a very visible dark patch over his shorts.

“…and-“

Hyunjin then reaches into the slot of the material, past his boxers and frees his cock. For a few moments, he takes away his hand just to admire how Jisung looks right now. The fact that he tried to finish what Hyunjin started, only to have the tables turned on him again. He flushes with embarrassment at the fact that without Hyunjin’s grasp around his length, his dick was able to stand tall on its own; so needy and desperate for touch. 

“And what?” Chan’s voice suddenly startles him out of his situation.

“And I just lost track of time, that’s all,” Jisung continues as calmly as he can.

“No worries. I haven’t watched Harry Potter in years. I think the last might’ve been Prisoner of Azkaban? No, Goblet of Fire? It was the one where…”

Chan’s voice drifts out of Jisung’s mind despite the fact that he’s right in his ear on the other line. His face contorts at the sudden pleasure he receives as Hyunjin takes hold of his neglected cock once more. His eyes dart sharply down to his own length and the large hand which begins to slowly tug. 

“…he gets chosen for the tournament when he really didn’t put his name into the cup…”

Jisung brings a shaky hand to his mouth, covering it immediately so as to mask and muffle something that could end up as a future regret. Hyunjin knows all too well what sort of sounds can come out of that mouth of his too, for it has reverberated around the walls of his apartment, stifled into his pillows, caught in the back of his throat which usually serves as a path for Hyunjin’s cum these days.

He’s heard it all before. 

For Jisung to keep a lid on all of those possibilities is a smart move, especially if they want to uphold the secrecy of their situation.  

“…and I’m pretty sure it’s the one where Cedric dies.” 

“Y-Yeah,” he responds shakily. “That’s the one we - I’m watching at the moment.”

“Maybe I should rewatch the first two,” Chan suggests to himself. “It’s the only series I can actually watch and understand without it being too complicated. I tried watching Lord of the Rings before but it’s too…”

Once more, Chan’s voice becomes a distant sound as Jisung tries to stop himself from bucking his hips into Hyunjin’s hand. But it’s not possible. He can’t just ignore the fact that he’s been horny since Hyunjin made him all hot and bothered, and now he’s built up to maximum capacity where his body craves release.  

“So what time suits you?” Chan asks randomly.

“Time for what?” Jisung responds back in confusion, his mind blending together like mush when Hyunjin has gotten into a steady pace.” 

“To hang out tomorrow!” 

“Oh, right! Ah - um, lunchtime? Twelve…” He suggests, his hips still rutting.

“Alright sounds good. I’ll see you there okay?” Chan asks.

“I’m cumming - I mean, I-I’ll come! I’ll be coming - going there,” Jisung stammers terribly with his words. “F-Fuck sorry, just…I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Chan laughs on the other end of the line, “see you then.” 

Jisung has never hung up faster, the phone toppling out of his possession as he rocks his hips into Hyunjin’s grasp. It also gave him the ability to rut his ass against Hyunjin’s hard length below him. Then within a split second, the lid that Jisung was trying so hard to contain over what his body needed to do, came off.

“Fuck, gonna cum, m’cumming!” He cries out. 

Hyunjin grins, and does not dare let up on his hand twisting and gliding on the length currently in his power, “I heard you the first time. How humiliating would that have been for you if Chan realised you were getting a handjob. Too bad he can't hear you whining so pathetically-“

Air hitches in Jisung’s throat, and for a few seconds too long Hyunjin looks into his eyes and sees tears welling up. A terrible, cold sinking feeling expands in his stomach, making him realise that he just said something awful to Jisung. 

“W-Wait, I’m sorry, I didn’t-

It was too late. Loud moans rupture violently through Jisung’s chest - ones that Hyunjin knows his neighbours are familiar with by now because by no means is Han Jisung quiet. He will let Hyunjin know how he’s making his body feel now explodes from immense pressure. 

His rutting against Hyunjin’s cock becomes staggered as a result of trying to chase his orgasm. Jisung clutches onto Hyunjin’s shirt, the fabric balling up tightly along with his fist. He can’t stop, he doesn’t want to stop, until eventually that buildup releases erratically in flows of white that spill over his tip and dribble down Hyunjin’s hand. Jisung had never cum that hard from a handjob before. 

He finishes gasping for air when he starts coming down, slowly rocking his ass over Hyunjin’s crotch to ease himself off the euphoria. Beneath him is a different story. 

Hyunjin was mortified for making him cry, so shocked that he was frozen and couldn’t take his hand off of Jisung’s dick. But that didn’t matter. Jisung had the intention of finishing what he started, to feel so good that all his problems melted away. 

Hyunjin sits up immediately, so close to Jisung’s face as he needs to check in with his friend, “are you okay? I’m so, so sorry, I don’t even know why I said that. It just...it just came out of my mouth.” 

He wipes his eyes after a couple of tears fell down his face in the process of dry riding Hyunjin. Part of what just happened makes him laugh breathily and nods, “yeah. I’m okay.”

“Jisung, I’m really, really sorry,” he quickly says and means it, trying to look him in the eye.

“No, oh my god don’t be sorry,” he assures him. “I’m fine, seriously.”   

“Then…then why are you crying?” Hyunjin asks the million dollar question, still acting out of horror. 

He gives a lazy shrug, “I dunno how to explain it properly, but I like that kind of talk. It just…yeah. I’m not too sure. I suppose I teared up because I haven't actually cum that hard before.” 

“I…didn’t know you were into…that,” Hyunjin doesn’t know how to reply to that type of statement, now that he just found out his friend likes being humiliated. Out of all things Jisung would be into, it had to be that.

“There’s a lot of things you don’t know,” he replies, leaning over to the coffee table just a bit to pick up the box of tissues to clean Hyunjin’s hand. 

“W-What did Chan want?” He asks even though he doesn't want to stray away from the topic to make sure his friend is still okay.

Jisung slides off of his body and in between his legs rather awkwardly. From this stance, it’s easy to see the large tent in Hyunjin’s pants that he was grinding on as he made himself comfortable. He smooths the palm of his hand over Hyunjin's hard length and slowly back down. In doing so forces a couple of strained sighs out of his mouth. 

“Wants to hang out tomorrow,” he answers, reaching into Hyunjin’s shorts to feel his hard cock. The same cock that keeps him coming back, that makes him feel heated and irrational. 

In Jisung’s opinion, anyone would be lucky to have someone like his friend in front of him. Even though they haven’t had sex, he knows how Hyunjin fucks, having seen the way he made you cum weeks ago - it only makes Jisung wonder what it would be like to actually cum around Hyunjin’s cock. 

It’s what he wants, needs in fact whenever they’re together.

Hyunjin bites his lip and throws his head down onto the couch, “y-you going to?” 

“Course I am,” Jisung replies, thumbing over the dark pink tip that leaks clear glossy precum. “Need to ask him about Y/N and what the situation is there.” 

A dreadful ball of weight pummels Hyunjin from behind when he hears your name in the same sentence as ‘Chan’. Not to mention, as Jisung said, your ‘situation’ with him currently which Hyunjin doesn’t want to process. He likes being oblivious to the fact that Chan is sleeping with you. That he gets to fill you up, that he just gets to see you. Whether Jisung was telling the truth or not about you and him sleeping together, he acts as if you’re not to save himself from the reality of it. 

“D-Do you really need to?” Hyunjin asks hesitantly, fumbling terribly with his words as Jisung lowers his head down and licks one long stripe from the base of Hyunjin’s cock, right to his dark pink tip.

“Yes,” he confirms, but doesn’t truly tell him why for reasons far too similar to his friend here. 

After giving his answer, Jisung sinks his mouth onto Hyunjin’s cock, just half of it to tease him. Bobbing his head a couple of times causes Hyunjin’s to grab the side of the couch while the other flies to land on top of Jisung’s head. 

“What if…if he doesn’t say anything?” He questions breathlessly. 

Jisung pops back up, and leans over Hyunjin’s abdomen to ask him in his face, his question bears some perspective to the situation, “do you want me to blow you, or not?”

Hyunjin uses the hand that’s not ready to brace his body by the side of the couch and tucks a long lock of Jisung’s dark brown hair behind his ear, “yes.”  

“Then please shut your mouth and let me,” he demands. 

It wasn’t hard for Hyunjin’s eyelids to shut and squeeze together. Receiving a blowjob from Jisung always feels like he’s had his soul sucked out of him; he doesn’t know where he learned it, but isn’t complaining either because it put Hyunjin to sleep ten minutes after they cleaned themselves up. By the time he and Jisung crawled into bed together, he had forgotten having the conversation with Jisung about you and Chan. Yet, only to be reminded of it the following day when Jisung woke up at half past eleven in the morning. 

He was scheduled to meet Chan at one of his favourite lunch spots nearby and was in no mood to meet him. Being the morning person he is not, Jisung found himself struggling immensely to get out of bed and Hyunjin’s long arms that were encasing him. 

Although he didn’t feel like leaving, he thought it would be best to just go as it had been a while since he saw Chan last. More importantly, he needed to confront him about what’s going on. Mainly for his own piece of mind.

He remembers something in his stomach sinking when he read that text on your phone. Despite the intense shock he felt when he discovered that you and Chan were hooking up, he wasn’t able to diverge from his own feelings. Something which he struggles to get across and might depending on the outcome of the lunch with one of the people in question. 

Jisung steps out of the shower with a towel around his waist as he goes to sit on the end of the bed to open some of the drawers to his dresser. He pulls out a cream coloured jersey, some underwear, and a pair of sweatpants.

The fact that he needs to borrow so many articles of clothing is just another potent reminder that he should be packing and taking an overnight bag whenever he goes to hang out with Hyunjin. Nine times out of ten, Jisung will always say he’s only coming over for the afternoon then ends up staying for more than one day at a time.   

The sheets ruffle beneath Hyunjin’s body as he stirs himself awake. He sits up, bed head on full view and eyes barely open, “what are you doing?” 

“Borrowing some clothes,” Jisung answers trying to ignore how hot his morning voice sounds. “I’ll bring you back some food to compensate.” 

“You said that last time,” he grumbles sleepily. “I’m also down four of my favourite jerseys because of you.”

Jisung throws on the material over his top half before crawling his way on the mattress to Hyunjin. He kisses him unexpectedly yet expectedly on the lips.

“Just go back to sleep,” he whispers. “I’ll see you after.”

With his confirmation, Hyunjin’s top half flops back against the mattress before Jisung pulls the white duvet back over his body, tucking him in. He had no trouble falling back asleep when Jisung lightly brushes some strands of his hair out of his face. However, without the distraction of him touching Hyunjin, Jisung couldn’t help but feel nervous.

He already knew that you and Chan were sleeping together. That text long affirmed that. Yet for how long and what for remained to be a sickening twist of fearful questions lugging Jisung’s stomach down. He didn’t really want to hear the answers from Chan if he can even stomach that conversation. He didn’t want to hear ‘yes we’ve been fucking’ or the ‘yeah, it’s true’ answers. 

In saying that, Jisung has a trait of bottomless curiosity. That itch to find out for his own personal gain was going to make or break him. At that, he dons on the matching coloured sweats, grabs his phone and wallet, and then heads out of Hyunjin’s apartment. 

After a train ride away, it doesn’t take long for Jisung to arrive, and apparently not for Chan either, who was already seated, waiting for his friend. An assortment of dishes had already been brought to the table, making Jisung realise how hungry he was since breakfast was no longer. 

“How the fuck did you get here so fast, you live on the other side of the city,” Jisung exclaims to him from behind as he approaches.

“Hey. I couldn’t wait any longer because I was hungry,” Chan complains in a whiny tone. “Came here earlier to order, so I couldn’t wait.”

“Good, that makes things easier because I didn’t know what I was going to get anyway,” he replies and sits down in the booth opposite Chan. He hasn't changed much. Then again, it hasn't been too long since he's seen him last. “Been busy?”

He shakes his head, “you have no idea.” 

“Thought you might’ve been,” Jisung responds, eyeing him intently to see if he gives off even the subtlest signs of a lie. “Haven’t seen you in almost a month, what’ve you been up to?” 

Chan shrugs, “work and tutoring some of these students at the University.” 

Jisung gives a firm nod, believing him and understanding how tiresome that must be to help teach students. It’s not until he pauses and realises that Uni semesters haven’t started yet. Even summer semester students are on break. He could’ve called him out on his bullshit now to see what answers he would get, but for the sake of wanting to find out other information, he keeps that to himself. 

“Shit, sounds tough,” Jisung sympathises with him, or at least tries to if he was lying.

“How ‘bout you?” 

“Same old. Working - you’re still coming to Jeju right?” He asks on a different subject.

“Yeah, of course. I took leave for it,” Chan answers as a puzzled look then befalls on his face. For a moment, his eyes narrow at Jisung, or rather his chest, trying to decipher what’s wrong with the picture he’s currently seeing. 

“What?” He asks, trying to follow his gaze.  

“You and Hyunjin have the same jersey,” Chan points out, realising what the flaw was. 

“Oh, I know, that loser keeps copying everything I wear,” Jisung quickly plays it cool because unbeknownst to Chan, it is in fact Hyunjin’s jersey. 

“Why are you wearing a scarf by the way?” Jisung tries to direct the attention away from himself

He hadn’t noticed the black item wrapped warmly around Chan’s neck until he began to panic whilst digging up something else to switch topics. The heat Jisung feels like he’s already being dragged under was starting to make him feel uneasy.

“The same reason you’re wearing a jersey on a thirty degree day,” Chan fires back just as fast but more nonchalantly to just about make Jisung sweat. 

It forces him to wonder what on earth this reason is that his friend is talking about, and why he’s being so cryptic. 

His face twists into confusion, mildly surprised when he realises Chan is trying to clock him for something that he doesn’t even know about or what for. Then again, it’s Chan. When is he not this observant? 

“And what reason is that?” He responds with an accusatory tone. 

Chan doesn’t answer, not directly. He only lifts his chin up slightly and points to his own throat, confusing the hell out of Jisung as to what he means. When it’s clear that the message can’t cross his mind, Chan rolls his eyes, and reaches into his pockets to take out his phone. He pulls up the selfie camera mode and hands it to Jisung to look at. 

Apart from seeing his own reflection, he can see something else; a few splotches of dark, reddish marks littered all over his throat. At first he thought he had a rash, but wasn’t too sure what he was looking at. However, upon closer inspection, he moves the camera a bit closer to his throat and takes a photo on Chan’s phone to see it better. 

After his quick analysis, Jisung knew instantly what they were. More importantly, who it came from. Hickies, and from none other than the only person he’s been messing around with, Hyunjin. Jisung didn’t even bother covering them up.

He hastily hands Chan’s phone back after deleting the photo, “so what?”

“Suppose you forgot you had them, judging by your reaction,” Chan guessed correctly, completely stumping Jisung who’s nearly lifting his own body off his seat as he tries to come up with an argument. 

“Well…I suppose you didn’t know that I know you and Y/N are fucking which explains the scarf too but here we are!” He blurts out before he even has time to think about stopping the words from coming out of his mouth.

Chan’s hand stalls over the pot of stew while Jisung’s lips are pursed together. All the colour in his face has drained, almost making him feel lightheaded that he just said that out loud. In saying that, this is exactly the topic he wanted to discuss - you and Chan. He just wasn’t expecting the conversation to meander in such a way that nearly exposes himself and threw him way off the track of ever raising the subject. 

“And what makes you think that?” Chan resumes ladling some of the hot stew into his bowl of rice. 

Jisung knows that you can’t unring a bell so makes the split decision and decides to come clean, “I was using Y/N’s phone for something, and that’s where I saw a text message from you, hinting that you guys were sleeping together.”

“Ah,” Chan recalls immediately at the sudden confession. “From that little truth or dare game you, her and Hyunjin played?” 

Jisung’s jaw unhinges, staring across the table towards his friend who seems to be a search engine for the topic of ‘everything Jisung has done lately.’ Nearly every minute that passes, Chan slaps him with a new fact that his friend wasn’t expecting him to know. 

“You - but, how did- did Hyunjin-“

Chan’s already shaking his head before Jisung can muster a proper sentence, “Hyunjin never said a word. In fact he hasn’t been replying to my texts so I haven’t heard from him.”

“Then…then Y/N?” 

“Well it couldn’t have been you or anyone else that was there.” 

Jisung isn’t angry. He’s just shocked that he keeps getting one upped. Chan finding out that Jisung had a threesome with two of his best friends - one of them who he’s been fucking for some time now too - was far more of a juicy topic than just you and Chan seeing each other casually, which Jisung still doesn’t know the full details of. 

“Said she had never cum like that in her entire life,” Chan adds, burying Jisung another meter or so deeper into this hole of new scandalous information. 

His body freezes over. Suddenly, it’s not thirty degrees and everything feels cold. Jisung doesn’t ever really hear Chan talk about his sex life. Even when he was in a relationship with his ex, each of his friends tried to dissect as many details about it as they could. But they were never successful. That was a result of keeping things as private and low key as possible. 

Nevertheless, Chan’s crude and very straightforward words had knocked Jisung right off his feet. The fact that you had told him what must’ve been very clear details of that night at Hyunjin’s was a sign that it still lingered on your brain. Part of his ego secretly swells with joy because of it.

“Then I felt like I needed to outdo you guys after that,” he adds.

“What do you mean?” Jisung questions with a tone of an impending doom that looms over him. 

Chan smiles sweetly, memories stirring of that night in particular he had with you. It had to be one of the best times by far to him, “you know what I mean.”

Jisung’s skin stings with scorching hot jealousy; he knows exactly what Chan means. The fact of the matter is that he can’t believe he’s saying these types of things to him. Then again, there’s only one reason why Jisung would be so affected by it and he didn’t want to display that in front of Chan without figuring out what it means. But whatever it is that’s tugging at the organ beating hard and fast in his chest, makes him furious. 

“Alright then,” he replies unfazed as he possibly could, swallowing the tough pill before realising there was one other thing he wanted to mention. “Suppose you guys are still seeing each other.”

Chan looks Jisung right in his eyes as he slowly retracts the spoon out of his mouth, “maybe.” 

“So yes then.”

“What does it mean to you?” He tests him, almost sadistically.

“It means nothing to me,” Jisung answers rather bitterly and nastily, his entire aura switching up before he finds a new tether to lure the spotlight away from himself. “Just the fact that I told the others about you two, and they made a bet.”

Chan looks up, “a bet?”

“None of them believed me, so they made a bet to see whether you guys were or not even though I said so.” 

If he didn’t have food in his mouth, Chan would’ve laughed, instead a disgruntled chuckle came out along with a couple of specs of his rice, “course they wouldn’t! Why would they believe that the two polar opposite people would be screwing behind everyone’s back?”

“You're not mad?” Jisung checks to be sure.

He shakes his head, “course not, dunno if Y/N won’t be though. She said she likes keeping things pretty private-“

“Clearly not if she told you she had a threesome,” Jisung cuts him off at that point. 

“Well, there’s some exceptions to that,” Chan shrugs, finishing off his bowl of rice. “I don’t know if this means anything to you but, she wouldn’t shut up about sleeping with you and Hyunjin. She told me every single detail like for instance, when you and Hyunjin made out-“

The tongs fall out of Jisung’s tight grip and clatter onto the table. He brings his hands up to his eyes, covering his entire face to hide whatever embarrassing feelings that start to simmer on the surface. However, Chan didn’t seem to care and continued on with his points to prove. 

“-how she liked it when you went down on her, how you watched Hyunjin fuck her - I told you what I meant about the details, right? Anyway,” he says. “She was raving about it. And yet, when she and I started seeing each other casually, she said that she didn’t want me to tell anyone else. That I needed to take what we have to the grave.”

Jisung removes his hands away from his face and looks down at his own food, unsure if he can stomach any more of it with the way the conversation has been handled. The more he talks and thinks about you, the more he feels like he’s being filled up with this bad gloomy feeling. He has to wonder if Chan is just being plain cruel to him by dumping all of his thoughts and information onto him.

He has to wonder, would it have been better to stay oblivious rather than being teased with snippets of what you’ve been saying to Chan these past few weeks. Hearing about how much you enjoyed yourself with him and Hyunjin yet haven’t directly spoken to them since that night. 

“What are you saying?” Jisung questions, tired with the bullshit that’s starting to spike in their discussion. 

“The fact that she wants to keep our…activities a secret from people and rather them not find out about us, yet is the first to speak highly of what you, her and Hyunjin did, means something more than you think.” 

More than he thinks? Jisung can’t understand what that could’ve possibly meant. He sits there, bewildered and stumped. Unsure of what else to say.

“Right,” he responds. 

Chan watches him warily, trying to gauge his behaviour as he decides to change the topic, “so, what’s on the table for this bet?” 

Jisung quickly pries himself away from his messy mind and answers, “losers have to buy a days’ worth of food when we go to Jeju.”

Chan nods, impressed as he reaches for more meat on the grill and loads it into his bowl, “even less of a reason to be mad. Looks like I’ll be eating for free either way.” 

"Yeah, looks like it."

The span of Jisung's vocabulary seemed to fail him. That and the fact that he didn't really want to talk anymore. Yes, it was good to see one of his best friends, but the circumstances that developed throughout their lengthy conversation made him wish he stayed in bed with Hyunjin just the extra bit longer so he would have to cancel lunch.

He managed to finish off small bowls of food to not make himself appear out of character. One whiff of anything remotely aberrant on Jisung's behalf, and Chan would hold him hostage in the restaurant until he tells him what's wrong. Despite that, Chan noticed something off anyway.

He saw the way Jisung's face fell when he confirmed that he was sleeping with you. He saw how his shoulders drooped and then picked up when he mentioned that you told him about the night at Hyunjin's. He saw how defensive and sceptical Jisung became whenever he would just simply mention you.

He saw that Jisung was hiding something.

When both friends had finished enjoying their meals, they were greeted with a downpour of rain that would have them seeking refuge under the veranda of the restaurant once they were outside. Just before they bid farewell to each other, Chan quickly turns to Jisung and calls out.

“It’s okay if you like her,” he says out of nowhere. “Y/N and I are not what you might think we are and we made it clear to each other that we never will be. There’s nothing between her and I, just so you know.”

Jisung stares at him, not showing any emotions on his face even though deep down, his brain and insides are whirring with emotions he can't even fathom, “I don’t like her like that.” 

Chan laughs at him, unfazed with the sudden tension that seems to be slicing through them, “keep telling yourself that. See you next week.” 

Through the deluge of rain and shadows from the dark, dense clouds above, Chan runs off in the opposite direction to where he needs to head home. Jisung stands there defeated and shocked that Chan is onto his tail that he likes you. He knew that heading into meeting up with him meant that the truth was going to come out one way or the other. Suppose it was just not on his terms.

It stirs many thoughts as he throws his hood up and ducks out into the rain to head to the train station and back to the safety of Hyunjin.

When he returns, Jisung keys in the passcode to unlock the door to the apartment, and is smothered with a waft of a sweet decadent scent. Standing in the kitchen, Hyunjin was at the stove flipping over what looked to be pancakes which suddenly reminded Jisung-

“Fuck, oh my god. The food, I forgot to even order it,” Jisung groans when he closes the door behind him.

Hyunjin turns the element dial on low and spins around to lean on the counter, away from the stove tops, "it's okay. I felt like something sweet anyway."

Jisung sighs. It felt right to be back with Hyunjin once more even though he had only been out for a couple of hours. In saying that, his conversation with Chan was good but draining. It’s not that he doesn’t like him for telling him the truth, there’s absolutely no doubt about that. Chan is and will always be his friend.

There is no emotional connection between you and him and that’s all that matters to Jisung. However, it’s just the truth in itself that he has an issue with - you hooking up with Chan every now and then that is. It makes him feel uneasy and almost makes him feel like he’s doing something immoral by just sitting back and watching it happen.

The reality stings where he doesn’t like it so pushes himself from the edge of the bench and walks into Hyunjin’s body to retreat from his thoughts. Slightly taken aback but not oblivious to the strange display of emotions Jisung is presenting, Hyunjin sets the spatula down beside him and hugs his friend back. 

“You okay?” He questions, concern dripping all over his face.

Jisung nods his head on his chest, “yeah. Just socialising, now I’m tired.”

It wasn’t a lie, but not the truth either. Regardless, Hyunjin takes his word for it without thinking twice about it. He had completely forgotten why Jisung had gone to see Chan for in the first place.

“Wanna nap together?” 

“Didn’t you just wake up?” Jisung pulls one arm away from Hyunjin’s body while the other still rests there so that he can rub his eyes. 

"Well," Hyunjin looks away from him. "That's beside the point. Just...missed you is all too.”

"Cute," he grumbles, ignoring what the weight of those words truly means. "I should pack for next week though because knowing me, I'll leave everything until the last minute."

Hyunjin lets out a long sigh. He hasn't even thought about putting a suitcase together yet either, "true. I should probably start packing as well."

"Okay then let’s both get ready," Jisung looks up at him before leaning in to plant a soft kiss on Hyunjin's lips, slowly pulling away and says quietly; "see you in Jeju."

Hyunjin responds, look at him, “see you in Jeju.”

I strictly forbid and do not permit ANYONE or any user on any platform to copy, re-upload, translate, remake, or pass off any of my work here on Tumblr or to any other online platform whatsoever. Doing so will result in having your account suspended, deleted, taken down, and or permanently banned.

[schoenpepper]

Breakfast (Dove Cameron)

Intro: Trey spends a night with you, knowing full well he'll regret it all in the morning when he's left staring at empty sheets.

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, not proofread i just wanna get these over with tbh, one night stands and kinda shmexy times, cussing im not a good gurlypops, reader kinda a hoe ngl

A/N: Good boy Trey yes yes yes yes

Masterlist

Your smoke in my hair

Hot and dirty like the L.A. air

That face, baby, it ain't fair

But you don't know what you don't know

What you don't know, uh

"You look so cute like this, right underneath me, hm~?" When you coo so softly in that sweet voice of yours, Trey is gone. His mind blanks and his bones soften into the mattress. He focuses on everything but you; the sound of cars honking down the street by his shitty apartment, the smog clouding his window, the feeling of linen sheets crumpled in his clenched fists, the smell of cooling blueberry muffins on the countertop. It's overwritten by you, and now your beautiful face is all he sees, your scent is making everything hazy, your hands are slowly gliding down his bare chest and he wants to either hold you close or push you off. He's not left with much of a choice when you straddle his lap and trail your lips from his neck up to his ear, nibbling on the skin.

"Good boy. Stay still for me."

Fuck, your praise gets him impossibly hard, but he's too stubborn to let his voice leak. He doesn't want you to know the control you have over him. When you grind down on him so ridiculously slow, his hips buck up uncontrollably, and there's so much shame tinging his face when he hears you laugh at him. "So impatient. It's okay baby, I'll take real good care of you."

Ooh-ooh, so you wanna talk about power?

Ooh-ooh, let me show you power

Passivity has brought him to the best midpoint of life. As long as he keeps to his close-knit circle of friends and studies hard, he'll be able to get through college with normal grades, get a normal job, find a normal lover, live a normal life. He doesn't like the stress that comes with being extraordinary, no, he's seen enough of that just from Riddle alone. Trey keeps his head down because passivity is his only way to survive.

You stumbled into his Psych class one day and ruined him.

You and your sexy clothing and that tumbler you pretend is filled with coffee but reeks of alcohol. There's something about the way your eyes shine under the LED lights that makes him want it on himself. You're drunk, obviously, when you almost trip twice just trying to get to a seat, the one in front of him. He forces himself to look away from you.

You're trouble incarnate, that he could tell.

I eat boys like you for breakfast

One by one hung on my necklace

And they'll always be mine

It makes me feel alive

It doesn't come as a surprise when he finally hears about you from his friends.

"Y/N? They're like a total player, it's insane. Pretty sure they've slept with half the school. They spend one night with someone then up and leave, but they have like, raving reviews, if you know what I mean." Cater comments offhandedly one afternoon when they're crowded around a cafeteria table, off-white plastic trays in hand. Riddle nods at the statement before stabbing his fork through a chunk of meat. "Yes, they are quite infamous. They're also friends with those two troublemakers, the red and blue ones."

"Aren't you red too, nya?"

The shorter redhead huffs and glares at Chenya who had popped up out of nowhere. "I wasn't using it as a slur, it was just a description."

Chenya giggles. "That Y/N is no joke, Trey." He says as he taps on the edge of Trey's glasses. "A nice guy like you should steer clear, okay~?"

I eat boys like you for breakfast

And I know that you tried your bestest

I never said it's right

But I'm gonna keep doing it

"Is this seat taken?"

Trey looks up to see you, a charming smile on your face as your hand pats the chair next to him. "It's all yours." He replies. He leaves the conversation there because he wants nothing more to do with you. He focuses back to the professor and his notes.

"And thus, this assignment will have to be done in pairs."

...No.

"Whoever is next to you will be your partner, and remember, it's due next week."

No. No, he can't, he doesn't want to.

He turns to the person on his left, only to find them already chatting up someone else. "Guess you're stuck with me, huh?" You chuckle.

"Ah. My name is Trey Clover." He introduces himself because it's correct, because it's the polite thing to do even though he's aching to just up and leave rather than spend another moment with such a problematic soul—a person who's assertive and actively goes after what they want is not a person he matches too well with. Especially not in the context used for you.

"Y/N L/N. You're cute." He feels something in him shrivel up and die when you're talking. "I think I'll like working with you."

Trey barely restrains himself from physically cringing at your flirtatious wink.

I'm sick, yeah, I'm sick

And honestly, I'm getting high off it

Do you wanna see a magic trick?

'Cause you don't know what you don't know

But I know

You're not completely awful.

You're surprisingly smart, and your comments and opinions about the topic of your shared assignment hit all points dead center. He can find a way to peacefully coexist with you and be just another side character in your life, fade away in the background and be forgotten. He likes it better that way. He treats you as a decent study partner.

"Hello? Earth to Trey?"

You wave your can of cold brew in front his face. Perhaps because you'd noticed his distaste towards your favorite beer (or alcohol in general), it seems you've swapped it out for egregious amounts of coffee. It's a step in the right direction, he thinks. At least you won't be drunk in public anymore.

"Yes, sorry, where was I?"

The pen in your other hand taps on a word in the book laid out in front of him. Trey nods and pushes down the urge to push you away (or pull you closer), opting to type away in his laptop as he used the book as reference. "The library's going to close soon, we should meet up again tomorrow."

You nod and reply. "Okay, I'll see you at 10, will that work for you?"

"Sure, and..." He doesn't understand why he's doing this. "If you want, I can give you some pastries as snacks for our study session? I like to bake whenever I'm free."

You smile at him cheerfully. "I'd love that."

Ooh-ooh, so you wanna talk about power?

Ooh-ooh, let me show you power

Trey watches you snap up another macaron from the plate, and he flicks your forehead harshly. "Hands off the cookies, L/N."

"But Trey~ They look so yummy!" You pout at him very convincingly. He holds onto the last of his sanity and shakes his head, but he pops a biscuit in your mouth as consolation. You seem satisfied enough and get back to decorating the cupcakes with sparkly little heart sprinkles. After the assignment, you refused to let him play wallflower and called out to him in the halls as you passed by. He never ignores you. Eventually, greetings turned into coffee into studying together into watching movies and now he's in the kitchen of his small studio apartment baking things with you for Cater's birthday party. You're a good friend. The fact that your body count is likely in the triple digits doesn't matter when you two are just friends.

"You wanna go to mine this weekend? Some of my roommates are planning to throw a wicked party, and I want you to be there."

"I don't know, Y/N, you know parties aren't my thing."

"Oh lighten up, Clover." You laugh, picking up the piping bag to get to work on the next batch of cupcakes. "If you really don't vibe at the party we can just chill in my room. That new movie you like just came out, wanna watch it?"

He raises an eyebrow. "It's not on streaming platforms yet, is it?"

You shoot him a grin.

"Not legally, no."

I eat boys like you for breakfast

One by one hung on my necklace

And they'll always be mine

It makes me feel alive

The party is just as he expected; loud, dark, and boring as hell. He does his best to swim his way out of the sea of slick and sweaty bodies grinding against each other, promising himself mentally to take a thorough rinse in your room's shower to get back to feeling himself. Because right now, he feels like a new, unworn lost sock inside someone's pile of dirty gym clothes. He finally spots you at the edge of the crowd, like you're light at the end of the tunnel.

But you're not alone.

Some girl is all over you, practically drooling while you're nursing a cup of iced coffee.

Why does he feel awful, all of a sudden?

When your eyes find his own, you give him that signature charming smile, shrugging the scantily-clad girl off your shoulder and tackling him in a hug that made some of your coffee spill on the floor. "Trey, you made it! Oh, you look winded. Let's go to my room and get you settled."

"Excuse me?" The girl you left behind has a voice reminiscent of a fork being dragged across the surface of a balloon. You turn towards her and he catches a glimpse of an expression he'd never seen on your face before. One of cold annoyance, of freezing apathy that seemed generally unfit for someone like you, someone who's usually so bubbly and perky. "Do you have a problem?"

"My problem is that you're setting me aside for this nerd, baby, don't you miss me? What, is he your new target? You know he won't even be a good fuck."

He watches the cold anger bubble into lava-hot rage in your irises, spilling out through your lips as you glared at the lady. "First of all, I don't miss flings, darling, you're one of far too many. Second, Trey is not my target. He's my friend, you useless fucking bimbo! And third!" You look at Trey, pointing at his face. "This man is definitely a good fuck! I bet he's absolutely packing and you only wish you could get a taste of this fucking hunk!"

He blinks. Once. Twice.

He's still frozen in place when the girl runs off in tears, and you sigh as you place one hand on your hip, the other bringing the cup of coffee up to your mouth.

"Sorry Trey, past mistakes, you know how it goes. Anyway, let's go watch that movie."

I eat boys like you for breakfast

And I know that you tried your bestest

I never said it's right

But I'm gonna keep doing it

The little wallflower is wilting.

Trey thinks he might be sick. Literally? Figuratively? He doesn't know. But he's probably sick. He has to be. Golden hazel eyes flit back to you. You're sleeping so soundly atop his chest, cuddled up to him with your arms splayed out on your sides. He has his own arms wrapped loosely around you with one hand reaching up to play with your hair as your face smooshed into his chest. He wonders if you can feel his heart beat. It's a little faster than usual because he's thinking about how easy it would be to lean down and...make a mistake. It would be a mistake. You would be upset. Would you assume that he also saw you as nothing but a sex fiend if he tried to kiss you? He knows you've been making an effort to change bad habits recently, and he's been spending enough (too much) time with you that he knows you haven't had sex with anyone in a long while.

He leans his head back on the pillow.

When did this friendship start to rot and burn in his heart? When did it start to regrow and bloom into something so very not platonic? He wants to kiss you. He wants to hold you tighter. He wants to strip off all his clothes and reservations about you and find out why all the people you've slept with once upon a time keep crawling back, and he wants to have that for himself for the rest of forever.

It would destroy your friendship.

It would destroy him.

He settles for kissing the top of your head. For now, it's enough. But he knows it won't be enough for him forever.

He wants to love you.

You've been treated too roughly by the world, won't you let him take care of you? Be kind to you, the way you deserve? 

Would you let him love you?

Passivity has always brought him to the best midpoint of life. But fuck, he doesn't want to be at the midpoint. He wants you. And you, you're not in the middle, you're never there. You're out of his reach because he knows you're always moving forward, while he's always been stuck at the same place. If he throws away the ideals he's held for far too long, can he reach you?

Would you love him too?

I eat boys, I eat boys

I eat boys, I eat boys

He knows his friends disapprove of you. He can feel Riddle's stone cold glare, Chenya's dumbfounded gaze, and Cater's blank stare. "What? Are you serious, Trey?!" Cater snaps out of his daze and immediately gets to shaking Trey by the shoulders. "We told you Y/N's bad news! So you buddy up with them and then—" He lowers his voice to a hissy whisper. "—Then fall in love with them? Are you crazy?"

"This isn't like you." Riddle adds with a sigh. "You're usually more rational than this. Mature."

Yes, but there was never anything rational about love, right?

"Mya, you're really serious?!" Chenya breaks out into fits of laughter, patting Trey's shoulder. "That kinda person is really bad news for you. They'll swallow you whole and spit your bones out clean."

Trey pushes off Cater's hold on him as he finally replies to his friends. "I didn't mean to do it. It just kind of happened. And now I need advice."

"Block them."

"Ignore them."

"Avoid them."

"Advice on how to get Y/N to fall in love with me." He says, glaring at the trio.

"If you want my honest thoughts, I think Y/N is just not the kind of person made for commitment. They'll likely sleep with you for one night and then never show up again, like all the times they've done so before." Riddle takes a sip of his tea.

"Y/N isn't like that anymore."

"Oh no, Trey's down bad." Cater shakes his head. "We all assume we're the exception in the Wattpad love story and think we can fix that person. But what if that person doesn't want to be fixed?"

Chenya nods. "Or what if they can't be fixed?"

"They don't need to be fixed." Trey stands up and packs his bag. "Whatever, I should've known you guys would be no help."

"Hey, calm down!" Cater raises both hands, as if in surrender. "How about this, we will help you out, okay?"

Your smoke in my hair

Hot and dirty like the L.A. air

That face, baby, it ain't fair

But you don't know what you don't know

What you don't know

So how did he get here?

Sparkly eyeshadow and tiny rhinestones on the corner of his eyes, an emerald green low v-neck silk shirt with bubble sleeves, black slacks and a black leather belt. His finger scratches at the layered silver necklaces dripping down his clavicle and he shoots the three a questioning look. "What is this?"

"We're going to the club!" Chenya replies cheerfully.

"And how is this meant to help with my Y/N problem?"

Cater raises up his phone. "You pretend to be drunk at the club, we call them on your phone to pick you up, you can tell them your feelings when you're alone and if they reject you, you can pretend it's just drunken rambling. But if they accept your feelings, then yay!"

"Okay, but why is Riddle here?"

Riddle shrugs. "Moral support. I won't touch a drop of alcohol, though."

Thus, the plan was settled.

He's still uncomfortable with all the bodies grinding on each other, and he's forced to turn away far too many people coming onto him. His friends tell him it's because his charm was out on full swing tonight, but he still thinks they're just blinded by the spotlights and inebriated by the amount of alcohol they'd already consumed. He orders a drink at the bar to at least be tipsy when the plan is in motion.

"Hello? Trey?"

Your voice on his phone speaker echoes through the vandalized tiles of the club bathroom. Cater giggles. "Hi, this is Y/N, right? We're in the Deck of Cards club with Trey and he's like, silly drunk. Can you come pick him up please? We're calling an Uber but his apartment's in another direction and he might be kidnapped with the state he's in." Trey knows you care too much to say no.

"I'll be there in ten."

When you arrive at the club, he thinks you're as mesmerizing as the day he first saw you, even though you're only in a set of black sweats. But maybe that's just the tequila talking. "Trey, are you alright?" You cup his face and he nuzzles into your touch.

"I'll take you home, okay?"

I eat boys like you for breakfast

One by one hung on my necklace

And they'll always be mine

It makes me feel alive

You drive him back in silence. He's worried that you don't find him attractive in the getup  his friends had forced him into, but he's satisfied enough by the way you help him up the stairs to his apartment and settle down on his bed. He can hear you clinking away in the kitchen and coming back to him.

"You're gonna have a nasty hangover tomorrow." You chuckle softly while popping a pill into his mouth, followed by lifting the glass of water to his lips. He takes small sips and watches you put it away. "Why were you out clubbing tonight? That's not like you."

"I needed to get drunk."

"Why?"

Trey looks at you. "Because I did something stupid."

"Oh? And what's stupid enough to get a goodie little two shoes like you drunk?"

He takes your hand and tugs you closer to himself. He can hear loud, fast heartbeats, and you're too close for him to tell whether it's his or yours. "I fell in love with someone who fucks and runs." You burst out into laughter, and he's fearful that you're taking his words as a joke. The fear fades away when your hands wander down the dip of his shirt, a mischievous smirk forming on your pretty lips. "Lucky you, I guess. I'm a changed person now."

Trey finally understands Cater's words about you having raving reviews from your previous nightly escapades.

I eat boys like you for breakfast

And I know that you tried your bestest

I never said it's right

But I'm gonna keep doing it

When he wakes up the next day, he's sure you're gone. The side of the bed you'd borrowed for the night is still slightly warm, so you must've escaped just a few minutes ago. He lets out a sigh and runs a hand through his short green hair, patting around to try to find his glasses. His movements stop when he hears something sizzle in a pan. The smell of bacon reaches his nose the same time he puts his glasses on. Trey only has to sit up to see whether it's a hallucination or not.

He doesn't really want to.

When his hopes are dashed, what's left?

It's you.

In his stupid, frilly Hello Kitty apron, humming a stupid pop song under your breath as you swayed your hips and bobbed your head. You're mixing what he assumes to be pancake batter while his broken-down espresso machine is whirring on its last legs and making coffee for two. You stayed. That's strange, it's weird, it doesn't fit your player persona but fuck he's so glad you stayed. It rekindles the hope in his heart that maybe, just maybe, you saw him differently from all your other flings. You notice he's awake and bounce over to him in a bubbly manner he thinks it's too early in the morning for.

"Good morning, sunshine!" You beam at him and lean down to kiss his lips, still mixing the batter. "You woke up at the perfect time. How about you get your plates out and set the table? I'm making bacon, pancakes and eggs."

Somehow, he doesn't know how, he can see a future with you by his side. Just like this.

An 'I love you' was never said, but he can taste it in your pancakes.

[fairybaby777]

i cannot sleep at all, my mind is just processing everything idek. i feel tired but at the same time wide awake. i also realised that nondualism seems to be the natural progression after knowledge of law of assumption. i come across law of assumption posts now and they seem so limiting to me. one post had an anon saying “we become content with never having it in the 3d and just know we have it in the 4d and then it will materialise in the 3d” like that is SUCH an ego based way to go about it, especially from a human perspective. the law is great and all but it teaches you that you are god INSIDE your humanSelf rather than outside of it. i dont know if this makes sense but all the time when i was using the loass, i would be thinking of myself as god but from this human point and it felt very limiting. like how can little old me be a god ? maybe that was my fault and i was misinterpreting the law and missing a key step but never have i felt the feeling i get from just Being and going above the ego and realising I am everything. I can’t really explain it and obviously im not fully realised yet at all but it’s starting to click more and more and I assume the more I take my attention off my humanSelf and just observe, the easier it will be to detach completely. the end goal is just to Be. im sick of desiring all the time & falling in and out of the state. i manifested a lot with the law don’t get me wrong, but it’s this constant desiring that has me trapped. if i am god why am i always desiring? it should be instant, not a process of persistance and maintaining a certain state in order to get what i want. i shouldn’t ever even desire because i am everything, and if i am everything what is there to desire ??? how can one desire what oneSelf already IS? IT DOESNT MAKES SENSE !!! anyway, it’s 1am so im going to try and sleep again and this was a random stream of consciousness but thought id share for my own sanity (: also the people on the nonduality reddit are sooo limited. i asked a question the other day and someone told me that in order to begin this process i need to stop eating meat & blah blah blah ! anyway goodnight 🫶🏼🫶🏼

[godilovecinnamon222]

how to surv1ve thanksgiving and christmas d1nn3r with an 3d mini guide!

disclaimer:

i am by no means encouraging anyone to st4rv3 or to follow this guide, i made it hoping that it would reach the people that know they'll be struggling at holidays and that need this help. i know how scary and how hard it is to try and keep an 3d a secret, this is supposed to help the people that need to know how to avoid the judgement and the oddly terrifying questions that get thrown at them.

how to prepare:

i would say there's 2 ways to go about the day before the d1nn3r, e4ting so that you won't p4ss out infront of your entire family, or f4$ting, this is really up to you. i have a pretty good tolerance for not p4$sing out so i will probably be f4$ting but it's totally your choice!! you can also try and calculate how much your going to e4t and burn c41s according to that (i'll list basic f00ds and numbers at the bottom)

"why is there like nothing on your plate??"

first off the best way to avoid this entirely is to just make a plate, i'd rather avoid people finding out so i can keep doing what im doing

for your plate (if you make one) load it up with tonsss of vegetables or fruit but i feel like fruit is never really served tbh, and some meat bc yay protein, sometimes ill throw a roll on there to make my plate look a little better but i don't ever really eat it, my whole family thinks im a very picky e4ter and they know i dont like thanksgiving food so im typically able to get away with throwing out f00d. and family dinners are so chaotic that people don't even realize sometimes.

you can also cut your f00d up and reshape it etc (yall know this meathod 🙏) to make it look like you at3, mashed potatoes are very easy to spread around and make them look like less. here's some excuses you can use to respond to the question:

" oh i atę earlier!!" this is a classic obviously but if your with people before hand e4t a little something in front of them and really make sure they notice.

" i dont feel to good right now."

" im not super hun6ry" also a classic but in classics we trust!

"last time i atę ____ it made feel really sick"

" oh i'm allergic to ____" allergies are a solid excuse but i wouldn't use it unless you actually have them

" gotta save room for dessert!!" don't worry i'll also be explaining how you can get through that to

dessert:

i feel like this is almost more stressful than the main meal, honestly me and my favorite cousin walk like crazy when ever we're together so sometimes i get lucky and miss dessert and than it sits out but there's no one really makeing me ęat it, for our family dessert is mostly optional and my mom knows i don't like e4tin6 a ton of junk so she won't suspect anything but if your family's forcefull here's a few things you can do:

-go for something that you know is lower in c41s or a safe f00d for you

-have very tiny servings

- bake something yourself so you know exactly what your getting

-talk about how full you are while your eating dinner so people think less at dessert

" i might have something in a little bit!!" try to avoid saying things about f00d, like im still full from dinner or im letting my f00d settle, because than you won't have to deal with "but you barely 4tę anything!!"

know what your 3ating:

all of these are measured by the s3rving siz3 (also going to be listed) they may also vary depending on brands, ingredients, toppings, blah blah blah you guys probably know that. this is basically just a rough estimate

cranberry suace: 86 c41s, one slice (about 8 slices per can take that as you will)

- mashed potatoes: 214 c41s (1 cup)

- sweet potato casserole: 235 c41s (1 cup)

- green bean casserole: 200-230 c41s ( a little under 1 cup)

- green beans: 31 c41s (1 cup)

- broccoli: 31 c41s (1 cup)

- asparagus: 32 c41s (10 spears)

- mac and cheese: 310 c41s(1 cup)

- turkey: 240 c41s (1 cup)

- gravy: 36 c41s (3 tbs)

- stuffing: 300-400 c41s (1 cup)

- rolls: 80-150 c41s (one roll)

- pumpkin pie: 300-450 c41s (one slice)

- apple pie: 300-450 c41s (one slice)

- pecan pie 400-500 c41s (one slice)

these f00ds are mostly for thanksgiving because the whole holiday is centered around f00d and i actually despise that, let me know if i missed anything you want me to add to the list or if any of these are incorrect!!

with all of that said, if you enjoy thanksgiving or anything to do with f00d in general, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!!! no matter where you stand your 3d is still valid. so if you choose to try and make the best of the holidays to whatever extent that may be go right ahead and don't let anyone else stop you, make your self a plate of your your favorite things and go back for dessert twice if that's what you choose, one day won't ruin every step of progress you made, as long as you don't loose yourself entirely you will be ok!!

no matter who you are or how your struggling, your 3d is valid, good luck, be safe, and happy holidays!!!