#all the DAMN crew found it hilarious

[poedays]

Redactedtober 2024

Day Twelve: Dealer’s Choice

Gavin and Darlin’

—- —- —-

GAVIN AND TANK HOOKED UP PRE-QUINN

—- —- —-

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[bumblingbabooshka]

"Everything you went through was meaningless." [St Voyager S3 E7: 'Sacred Ground']

[pinkanonwrites]

HANDS-ON LEARNING

Read 'Handle With Care' here!

Rodimus/Human Reader, NSFW, First Contact AU, AFAB Reader, GN Pronouns, G/T, Experimental Sex, Fingering, Oral (Receiving)

Since this is a First Contact fic, dialogue that is both bold and italicized are words that both the reader and Rodimus understand.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT!

Of all the ideas you'd had over the course of your life, this had to be one of the worst.

Granted, it wasn't as bad as trying to follow the blinking light into the woods after your car broke down, only to end up abducted by aliens. But it was pretty high up there.

But between said abduction and your ensuing rescue by the gigantic alien robots and the spaceship they called home, you hadn't exactly had a lot of time to yourself. And after days melted into weeks and you eventually began to lose track of how long it had been since you had been plucked from Earth, you were starting to get a little… wound up.

Most days were spent in between the massive metal fingers of a robot that you were pretty sure was named Rodimus as he shuttled you from room to room and presented you to his fellow crew members like a first-grader showing off their new pet hamster. But despite the glaring communication barrier and the ever-present threat of being squashed under foot, Rodimus was very careful with you. He made sure you were safe and comfortable, never picked you up without letting you know ahead of time, and did his best to communicate simple thoughts and ideas with you through hilarious, size-difference charades. It could be a little awkward sometimes, but he was nice! It was nice.

And then, about a week ago, Rodimus accidentally made you cum so hard you almost blacked out. And you couldn't stop thinking about it.

But honestly, how were you supposed to stop thinking about it? Sure, it was an accident, (or you were pretty sure it was, at least. Giant robot charades isn't always a perfect system) but it was an accident that refused to leave your mind. When Rodimus would lay on his big slab of metal to sleep, or recharge his batteries, or whatever it was that giant robots did at bedtime, you'd be lying awake in the little habitat he'd built for you out of his desk craving the sensation of sitting on the world's best and most attentive washing machine and letting the vibrations spark stars behind your eyelids.

So maybe it was a bit stupid, and horny, and frankly desperate to search out that feeling again from a guy four times your size who could crush you in his hand like a grape if he ever wanted to. But God damn if it wouldn't be worth it.

So that's how you found yourself in the position you are now. Naked, sprawled back against the surface of the desk with one of Rodimus's massive hands cradling your upper body, and a giant finger from the other tracing up the inner curve of your thigh. He seemed almost enchanted by the way your goosebumps rippled to the surface beneath his touch, letting out a pleased, mechanical warble.

He seemed to adore your softness compared to the rigid metal of his own skin, as Rodimus liked to squish you quite a bit. Never enough to hurt, just enough to feel the warm press of your skin between the joints of his fingers and hands, or to drag a curious fingertip down your cheek. But there was a particular meekness with the way he touched you right now, like he was only just realizing how easy it would be for him to hurt you. It was painfully sweet, and if you weren't absolutely aching for something more right now you may have been content to let him continue his gentle fondling.

"C'mon, big guy." You murmured instead, resting your hand around his wrist and pulling him up closer to the apex of your thighs. He let out a soft, surprised revving sound at your boldness, glancing at your face a few times before finally pressing the top of his finger up between your thighs, lying flush against your folds. If you had to compare the sensation, you'd say the feeling of leaning a little too far forward on a motorcycle seat was similar. It was warm, rumbling, pressing up against all the right places, but not quite enough to get you anywhere you really wanted. Still, you couldn't stifle your shaky moan, and that seemed to really get him going.

"Yes?..." He all but purred, one of the few words you had actually managed to learn between the two of you. The pointed chevron of his brow seemed to quirk up a bit on one side as he glanced down at his thick finger between your legs before back up to your gaze.

"Yes. It's good, I just… want more." You knew he couldn't understand your words, but the slow roll of your hips and the slick coating of your arousal over his knuckle seemed to get the message across just fine. He rocked his finger up against you, wet with your drooling heat as the jut of the joint slid up and over your clit again, and again, and again. Still slow, yes, but almost painfully good. Your hips jerked towards the sensation and he cooed, engine rumbling louder to course vibrations up through your aching cunt.

He murmured your name, or the best that he could approximate in his echoey, mechanical trill. From the hand cradling your upper body his massive thumb slid forward, dragging along the curve of your jaw and down to the jut of your collarbone with a delicate curiosity. Panting, you let yourself melt into his touch, rolling your hips against his other hand and shuddering at every other press that seemed to hit just the right spot. Fuck, this was good. Better than good, you felt like your brain was going to melt out of your ears, molten heat pooling low in your stomach as a pleasant buzz of arousal seemed to crawl through your muscles and out to the tips of your fingers and toes. It was probably way too early to be cumming, but you'd been pent-up for far too long already and the relentless vibrations only pushed you higher and higher, a rubber band threatening to snap as you gasped and shuddered and tossed your head back against Rodimus's enormous metal palm.

It was all you could do to keep your feet from kicking out as your orgasm washed over you, the aching clench of your cunt around nothing making you whine as his fingers slowed to a lazy, comfortable stroking. You blinked blearily up at him, a look of incredibly sly pride on his face as you went limp and content in his palm.

"Fuck, Rodimus." You groaned. It startled you, the sheer volume of his engine's snarl in response to your simple, fucked-out sigh of his name. But more surprising was the sudden press of two blunt fingers against your messy hole, slippery with your own arousal as they tried to work their way into you. "W-Wait! Rodimus, fuck, it's not gonna fi-MMGH!?"

With a wet pop, the tips of his two massive fingers slipped into your still-twitching cunt, stretching you wider than you'd ever been before. Even one of his fingers was more than big enough for you, but he somehow fit two? Your entire body trembled as you flopped back, slave to the impossible stretch and press of unrelenting metal against your most sensitive spots. Whimpers and groans were forced from your body with each minute flex and press of his fingers deeper, deeper, scraping spots you could never reach with your own two hands and stuffing you so full you felt like you couldn't breathe in properly. The heat that had only just receded was building again, impossibly quick, a tingling jolt underneath your skin that made the muscles of your legs twitch and kick outside of your own control as your mind struggled between spearing yourself further on this impossible stretch or wriggling helplessly away.

He was talking again, an incomprehensible clutter of mechanized boops and whirrs that you only barely managed to process in your pleasure-drunk mind. Then, with a sudden rush of motion and swoop of your stomach with the G-force, you were cradled off of the table with his free hand and held up to his face. There was a glow to his cheeks, a bead of liquid trailing down the side of his helmet as he gazed down at you. Robots could blush? And sweat? Apparently this one could, a gush of warm heat rolling over your body as he huffed, mouth hanging slightly open. Behind his giant teeth you could see a peek of a silver-grey tongue, a rippling smooth expanse of rubber and metal-mesh that crept towards you until Rodimus dragged it oh-so-carefully up the length of your cunt.

"FUCK!" You wailed, hands scrabbling for purchase against the joints and bends of Rodimus's hand as he swept his massive tongue between your folds. He let out a low, growling groan at the taste, burying his face between your thighs as he stroked and massaged your pulsing clit with the tip of his tongue. His fingers kept working, curling up towards your stomach on each thrust as you sobbed, abandoning your grip on his hand to clutch to the yellow chevron on his brow like your life depended on it. Your head was swimming, buzzing so intensely with heat that you could barely form a thought beyond the deep, impending well of your next orgasm. It pulsed from so deeply within you, a relentless wall of pleasure rushing towards you faster than you could prepare yourself for. All you could do was cling desperately to Rodimus's brow and hold on for the ride, sobbing and gasping and shivering as it crept ever higher, warmth blossoming out from your cunt and crawling across your shaky frame as pleasure exploded behind your eyelids. You wailed his name again, barely comprehensible, as each press of his fingers forced a gush of slick from your quivering hole and spattered into his giant palm. As quickly as it came his tongue swept it gently away, fingers slowing and letting out a low, melodic hum as your wails and moans trailed off into soft, sniffly whimpers. Finally, finally, after what felt like an eternity but couldn't have been more than a minute at most, he began to lower you carefully back down onto the desk, thumb rubbing a tear from your cheek as he pulled his fingers from your puffy, overworked cunt.

He cooed your name again, cradling your body in both palms. "Good?" He murmured, warmth from his metal palms seeping directly into your sweaty skin and aching muscles. You heaved another shaky breath, unable to form words so you instead shot the giant mech a wavering thumbs-up. In any other scenario that may have been a cripplingly embarrassing response to what was possibly the best orgasm of your life, but it pulled a beaming smile to Rodimus's face regardless.

In a few minutes the tacky feel of slick and sweat and robot saliva drying on your skin would begin to border on intolerable, and you knew you'd eventually have to rise to fawn-like legs and stumble to clean yourself up. But for now you were more than happy to lay sprawled in your giant companion's grasp.

Hell, maybe he'd even help you take a bath, too. After all, it's not like you had anything left to hide.

[thoughtsonkm]

Hot spring buddies

It was a perfect balance of a fun episode but with a lot of domesticity and quirks and all around softness. Their day to day life when they finally found some free time is truly so peaceful and harmonious. They're just attuned to each other. Mischievousness and teasing is always present, they just can't get enough of having fun together.

Where?! Who?! You been where?! With who?!

JK was like: "Excuse me? You went with MY friends? Not ME? What am I chopped liver? 7 years ago you say? OK FINE

GODDAMMIT it's criminal to not do a original song together! It's criminal to not do an album together! Criminal offense! Judge lock em' up!

And Jimin lulling Jungkook to sleep..ah that angel voice 🥹

~

"This is our last moment of relaxation" - JK 😭 😭 (I know everything going on was looming on their minds obviously but their hunger to enjoy and live to the fullest until the last minute makes me emo)

~

NAH the damn haircut 😂 The way he has perfected the boba ball cut. The juxtaposition of his face/hair with his body is so funyyyy.

*Going to the hair stylist* JK: so.. I did a thing Stylist: fuck, okay let me think, I CAN FIX THIS

~

He brought his cards cause he wanted to play only with Jimin since CT. Why do they have to be so adorable about these little supposedly insignificant details 😭

~

Look at us. Look how far we've come. Who would've thought?

Okay testosterone calm down, OR DON'T (This was low-key hilarious af tho tbh)

I saw ppl hyperventilating because they were suddenly showing too much (Jimin I'm looking at you) but more than that I think it's nice that they were so relaxed and in their own world, so much so, that they didn't really think much about their every movement.

But also they need to stop with the moaning and grouting every 2 sec tho. Like I get it but? cmon

~

Sorry but I live for the little funny details like Jungkook drenching the sea urchin in soy sauce and then putting it in vegetable soup to salvage it.

~

As if you can deny this face anything??

Cause you know there's AYS stash but there's a personal stash too obviously.

Oh twin beds? Let us start our lights foreplay

Jungkook's semi romantic struggles continue. Feed yo man Jimin pls!

The whole ski part of the episode looked so fun. I'm sure they had a blast. This is officially the best activity they've tried during this series.

It was so adorable them continuously falling and getting up. Even the crew kept on falling. The snow must've been so thick.

Snow angel

~

What in the meta shit is happening next week? I'm not ready to see them react to themselves. In the last episode to the first two episodes? Oh they're out for blood. And I know they're not gonna show what we want to see (ASS SLAP) but still those 5 minutes should be fun.

I wish sapporo would last forever. Weeks passed by so quickly. Why is it only one episode left? And then we're never seeing them again until next year (at least we have hobis discharge and the bts eps)

[lxvvie]

y'all, I made the mistake of revealing that I write fanfiction as a hobby, and when asked about the fandoms I write for, I broke it down as I know best: into cliques. I realize I might be shaking the table but it is what it is.

This is what I said for CoD (I've since add some more stuff):

You got the forever war between Gaz Nation and Gaz Deniers. May or may not be rooted in his attractiveness as a person of color, opinions vary (read: it most definitely is). Bonus points if the racism comes out in full force. DOUBLE/TRIPLE those points if it's expressed using butchered ass AAVE. 🥴

You got the Masked Men Lovers Brigade of which König, Ghost, and Keegan are the patron saints and arguably the holy trinity.

You got the Peepaw Price Lovers who absolutely adore his chonky cheeks, peepaw mannerisms, lumberjack body complete with the slutty waist, and relative long-suffering thanks to the shenanigans of the rest of the crew.

You got the Soap Suds who, I think, have found that relative balance between Johnny being a destructive-as-all-hell force to be reckoned with and the quintessential golden retriever boyfriend. His VA doesn't make it any better apparently lmao.

You got the Ghost lovers who've pretty much diversified him so he can run the gamut of Daddy Dom Extraordinaire™, Babygurl™, Sassy Simon™, and the list is endless. What IS consistent is that someone parked a dump truck on that ass and he has some big ole titties. There's also the subset of people who REALLY, REALLY love Ghost but also think his VA is ugly (which he isn't) while simultaneously thinking that he (Ghost) is supposed to be David Gandy levels of immaculate despite being in active combat. Make it make sense.

There's the Gravediggers who, for the most part, acknowledge their love-hate relationship with Graves and I think that is both hilarious and endearing.

You have the Kult of Köthulhu, König's devoted followers who have allowed him to transcend his gremlin nature to become the long-lost progeny of Cthulhu. Move the fuck over, Cthylla. I kid but he, like Ghost, has also been diversified in terms of his portrayal. And no, he's not a part of 141. Some followers of His Gremliness are also embroiled in a forever war with Gaz Nation so please be safe out there, y'all.

You got the Valeria girlies who want her to sit on their faces. I don't blame them. Please do.

You have the Los Vaqueros crew who need more love shown to them and Pony by Ginuwine is their official theme song thanks to Alejandro Thee Stallion. The less said about the butchered Spanish I've read in some fics, the better.

There's also the Farah Fanatics who rightfully adore her and deserve their flowers just like the rest of the cliques.

There's the Keller Kollective who, I think, tends to intersect with the Farah Fanatics. This lot also deserves their flowers because Keller is a sub absolutely underrated as a character. You'd also be forgiven for thinking he and Price are elated.

You also got the Horangi Horde who, just like Gaz Nation, will RISE TF UP. I think. Hopefully. lmao

And then there's the self-righteous crew who, for whatever reason, seem to think they're above it all and love to police writers on what they write and how they write the characters (we're talking in terms of rather innocuous subjects in the grand scheme of things; the sus shit absolutely needs to be and should be called out). Interestingly enough, this group also seems to forget that they're in the same damn boat by being in the fandom, consuming, and writing about the same characters. The ones who have all the energy but none of the courage even if they say or think they do. Bonus points if they also move like fans. Double/Triple those points if they, too, also use butchered-ass AAVE to make their points. 🥴

The girlies who can't separate fiction from reality and insist on harassing the VAs and their significant others and families because how DARE they have a regular degular life outside of *checks notes* their job. Baby, it was never gonna be you. It will never. be. you.

did I get them all? lmao

[soapsilly]

Reunion - Roronoa Zoro Imagine

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Spoilers for One Piece (?)

Summary: It's been five years since Zoro had to leave (Y/N) and their son. Five years since he promised he'd come back for them. Now that they finally found the One Piece, will Zoro be able to choose between life as a pirate and his young family?

A/N: This is Part 3 for Betrayal and Redemption, so read that first... or don't. Who am I to tell you anything?

Requests are closed

************************************************************************

Zoro swore under his breath as he turned the corner and found himself on the same market place yet again. It's been five years since he's last been on this damn island but nothing about this fucking village seemed familiar to him. He's been wandering around for what felt like an eternity but realistically couldn't have been more than two hours or so. The townspeople were muttering and mumbling behind their hands once they spotted him. He didn't know if they recognized him from when him and his crew saved the village five years ago or if they had seen his wanted poster in the newspapers. Ever since the Straw Hats finally found the One Piece and made Luffy Pirate King, there hasn't been an issue without their faces plastered on the cover page.

After he rounded the same corner for yet another time, he had to admit defeat. Zoro just knew, (Y/N) would've found his abymsal sense of direction hilarious, if she were there. Often she would have him lead the way just to see where they'd end up, knowing full well that they'd been walking in the wrong direction all along. The memory triggered a familiar pain in his chest - one that would always appear whenever he thought about the girl he had to leave behind. He had promised to come back for her. Her and their son... Sora.

Zoro had thought a lot about them these last couple of years. The boy that was barely even a toddler when he last saw them - and yet clearly looked so much like him already - must've been around seven years now. Would he remember him? Could he forgive his father for leaving him and his mother behind? Did (Y/N) even want him to return? It's been so many years with no contact. Maybe she decided to finally move on. These were the thoughts that tormented Zoro these past couple of months during night watches. After they found the One Piece he wanted nothing more than to return to (Y/N) as soon as possible but the journey was long - many opportunities for his mind to wander.

"Hey, Zoro", Nami pulled him from his thoughts. The swordsman only grunted in return.

"I bet you're glad to finally see (Y/N) again after all those years, huh?", the navigator continued. She could sense the nervousness that surrounded her friend these last couple of weeks. She didn't blame him, she'd be nervous aswell.

"I guess", the mosshead has never been a man of many words.

"Do you miss her?", Nami's voice was quiet but he could hear her clearly. The Thousand Sunny was almost silent during those night hours - a stark contrast to it's chaotic state during the day.

Zoro didn't answer at first. Of course he missed her. He missed her everyday. Especially at night, when the two of them would sit down with (Y/N)'s homemade liquor to talk about anything and everything. It was then that Zoro got to truly open up.

"I do, you know?", Nami continued when she sensed the swordfighters struggles to find the right words.

"What if - what if I took to long?", Zoro turned to face the red-head. Talking about his feelings made him uncomfortable but Nami was (Y/N)'s friend. If anybody could help him tame the chaos in his mind it would be her.

The woman knew exactly what he was referring to. No need to elaborate. A sympathetic expression took over her features.

"Nonsense, you know her. It's (Y/N). I doubted her once... I won't make the same mistake twice. Trust me she waited", Nami didn't enjoy thinking back to way she treated her friend back then when she thought that (Y/N) had betrayed the crew during those two years they were separated. She knew, (Y/N) told her not to worry about it - that she'd have acted the same way - but the memories still hurt. Nami was determined to trust her friend this time around. They were Nakama after all...

Zoro sent her a nod but he wasn't quite sure if he actually believed what the red-head said or if he was only trying to convince himself.

"Oi, you two!", Zoro had enough of wandering around the market place, "I'm looking for uh - the witch?"

Their eyes widened when the two men realized who was standing before them.

"Oh, you're that Pirate Hunter dude! You found the One Piece", one of them answered.

"Yes, yes! Roronoa Zuko or something", the other guy agreed.

Zoro had to take a deep breath as to not lose his temper.

"The witch. Where can I find her?", he spoke through gritted teeth.

"Oh, yeah", one of them drawled out, "I'm sorry, man, but she died - like what? A few years back?"

Zoro couldn't hear a word from the bickering that followed about whether it's been two or three years already. All he could think about was the fact that he came too late. He felt panic rise up in his chest. This wasn't a situation he could fight his way out of. And what about their son? Where was he and who took care of him? He never felt so helpless before. There were a thousand thoughts rushing through his head - until a new voice interrupted his strings of thought.

"No, you idiots! He's looking for my mom", Zoro's eyes grew wide when he saw whom the voice belonged to. There was no doubt that the little boy before them was his son. He had the same green hair, the same lopsided grin - albeit a few of his teeth missing. Zoro felt like his head was spinning. He didn't know what to feel. Relief because apparently (Y/N) was well? Happiness? Fear? He had thought about this moments so many times but nothing could have actually prepared him for when it actually came to meeting his son. He had honestly relied on (Y/N) being there and guiding him through the situation but fate had some different plans for him that day. It was almost comical - how was he expected to handle these kind of situations when he couldn't even deal his own emotions most of the time.

"Right, right, right", one of the two men seemed to remember what the boy was talking about, "You mean (Y/N)! Oi, he means (Y/N)!"

Out of all the people Zoro could've asked, of course it had to be these two morons. He was just about to lose his temper, breathing heavy already, but his mini-me reminded him why he was even there to begin with. That didn't stop him from giving them the death glare as he followed Sora away from these two idiots, who by the looks of it didn't even notice it anyways as they were still deep in discussion about God knows what.

"They're idiots", the little boy's voice pulled Zoro out of his thoughts, "Mom's fine"

The swordsman noticed that the little guy didn't seem nervous at all. In fact, he started talking to Zoro as if he had known him his whole life.

"They were talking about Mim...", he continued. Zoro remembered the old hag that mentored (Y/N) during their initial two year separation. He met her briefly. She was old. Ancient even. His heart ached for his lover. He was glad that she had someone on this island. Some kind of support. He felt better knowing someone was there for her - that she wasn't alone. And still, the older woman was yet another person that left her to fend for herself. He knew his thoughts were merely a projections of his own guilty conscience. That it was actually him that left his girlfriend behind.

"We knew you'd come", the little boy happily babbled on as he led the way out of the village towards the edge of the forrest, "The others said you wouldn't come but Mom knew"

The little boy may have inherited his looks but Zoro noticed that his essence - the way he just happily talked and talked without a care in the world - was all (Y/N).

"Look!", the witch ran up to the swordsman and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him with her.

"What's going on? Who's hurt?", his free hand immediately found it's way to the swords that were hung closely by his hip.

"Huh? No one?", she scrunched up her face adorably, "Look what I found!"

Zoro could hear the excitement in her voice as she pulled him up to a meadow she had found while exploring the new island the Straw Hats stopped at. Her eyes marveled at all the flowers, plants and herbs that grew all over the place.

"Isn't it beautiful?", she turned to him wide a wide smile.

"Depends", Zoro grunted.

"On what?", her face fell. The mosshead noticed that cute little crease between her eyebrows that appeared whenever she was in deep thought or confused.

"Well, depends on how many of these plants could kill me"

"Most of them", she shrugged but couldn't help the happy laugh that left her lips, "Come on now"

With that she grabbed his hand again, already talking about what each plant could be used for, taking samples as she went, shoving them into the swordsman's arms so that he could carry them for her. Zoro didn't understand a word she was saying. He didn't mind though. He enjoyed her rambling about potions and balms.

"Hey! Are you even listening to me?"

Zoro smiled to himself as the memory played in his head.

"We're almost there", the little boy shouted over his shoulder.

And indeed, not even two minutes later (Y/N)'s little hut appeared before them. The mosshead noticed how similar to his lover the house looked. It was small. Whimsical. A plethora of flowers decorated the little gardenspace in the front. All in all a peaceful sight. But appearences can be deceptive. He knew that most of the plants were poisonous. No matter how beautiful they seemed, even a little dose could be deadly.

"Mommy!", the little boy yelled out as they approached the house, "Mommy, look!"

It wasn't even thirty seconds until the door to the hut swung open and (Y/N) hurried out, a dish rag clutched in one of her hands.

"What did you do now? Whatever it is that you caught, you better-", (Y/N) dropped the dish towel when her eyes fell onto the mosshead. Zoro's heart skipped several beats when he realized how close they were. All these years apart and yet he still felt like it was yesterday that the two of them kissed under the moonlight. She was beautiful. Eventhough she looked exhausted, she was clearly the girl he fell in love with. His (Y/N).

Sora excitedly ran up to his mother, squealing happily, "He's back! Look, Mommy. You were right. He came!"

(Y/N) patted his head - stroking the green hair - almost mechanical, her wide eyes remained on the swordsman. Her lips slightly parted as if she was trying to come up with something to say but struggling to find the words.

"Yes, love... I can see that", her voice was full of shock but she still did her best to sound excited for her son.

Zoro felt self-conscious. He didn't know what to do. Should he say something? Walk up to her? Would she even want that? He scolded himself. Why did he take a seven year old's word for it?

The mosshead was so busy with his thoughts that he almost didn't notice her walking up to him and practically flinging herself into his arms. Her head comfortably found it's place underneath his chin. Zoro got emotional as her scent filled his nose. For a moment they just stood there.

"I knew you'd come", he heard her whisper against his chest.

"Always", he answered as he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

When she looked up at him, he could see the tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. He was just about to wipe them away with his thumbs, when their son - their son - interrupted the moment together.

"Mommy, I found him", he smiled brightly as he squeezed himself between his parents' legs.

(Y/N) hastily wiped her tears away before clapping in her hands once. An excited smile present on her lips, "You're right, Honey! And I think we'll need to celebrate that!"

"A party?", the little boy looked up at her with bright eyes, "Can we - can we make a cake for dad?"

Dad... Zoro noticed how the green-headed boy's voice tripped over itself due to the sheer excitement. The swordsman blinked a few times at the mention of his new title. He felt a strange feeling in his stomach area. Of course, he was his dad. There was no doubt about that. And of course, he wanted to be - of course. But still it felt so strange being called that, being welcomed back with open arms like that. He felt (Y/N)'s eyes flicker over to him before turning back to the child.

"Well, I'm sure your father would much rather celebrate with a good bottle of rum... Here", she handed the little boy some bills, "go back into the village and buy him a nice bottle at Old Mickey's place, yes? And when you're back, we'll bake something nice anyways"

Zoro's eyes widened. Did she really sent their son to buy hard liquor for them?

"Yes, Mommy!", the little guy nodded enthusiastically and skipped away.

"Did you just sent our seven year old to buy alcohol? Who in their right mind would sell alcohol to a child?", the swordsman raised his brows.

The witch shrugged, "Hopefully no one. I mean, they know him 'round here but still. He's only seven", she grinned, "Besides, you know I have my own liquor. You didn't forget about that, did you?"

The concerned look on her face hit Zoro straight in the heart. How could she ever think that he'd forget just a single thing about her?

"Okay but... I still don't understand", he furrowed his brows, "Why did you sent him away then?"

"Of course, you don't", she started laughing as she grabbed his hand to guide him into the hut, "Sora is so happy that you're here. Haven't seen him like that since that one time Mim made him float through the air... You seemed overwhelmed though. Sorry that he found you first. Ever since I told him about how you guys found the One Piece he's been patroling the island for when you'd arrive. He can be pretty stubborn you know? Thought I'd give you some space..."

(Y/N) grew quiet towards the end when she noticed her rambling.

"You- you told him about me?", Zoro was shocked.

"Well, of couse", she looked at him with those eyes - those eyes that he couldn't resist, "We always read the newspaper together during breakfast, you know? He loves hearing about your adventures. He wants to be a swordsman just like you. Or a devil fruit user like Luffy... Or both"

The swordfighter's chest swole with pride as he imagined his son wanting to be just like him. Maybe he could teach him?

"I missed you", her voice was low. Merely a whisper.

"I missed you too", he answered thruthfully, "I thought about you everyday"

And with that he crashed his lips onto hers. For the first time in five years he felt at peace. Like a she was the missing piece that finally completed him again.

When they eventually separated, she smiled at him, her hands already tracing circles on his thighs.

"You know? There's another benefit of us having some alone time", she mumbled against his lips, already climbing on top of him, "The downside? We won't have long..."

"After five years?", he panted, "I won't last long anyways"

The giggle that followed was like music to his ears. This didn't play out like he had imagined but with them the things rarely do. At the moment he was just happy to be back with his love - how her lips felt against his own. How her hands roamed his body. How hot her skin felt against his.

************************************************************************

"That scar wasn't there last time I saw you", she traced the pale pink line that decorated his side.

He shrugged. Being the Pirate King's first mate came with it's price.

"Neither were those", he gestured towards the little pictures that were plastered all over her ribcage. Each tattoo symbolized one member of the crew. A straw hat, three katanas, a clementine - even a little violine that represented Brook.

"This way I had you with me... Wherever you guys may have been", her voice was quiet. Peaceful.

"I see...", Zoro thought about her words. He knew she chose to stay behind but it couldn't have been easy for her. The Straw Hats were her family and even after all those years, she never stopped thinking about them as such, "But did you really have to get one for the ero-cook, too?"

He pulled a face. He didn't like the thought of any part of that pervert being anywhere near (Y/N)'s naked body - even if it was just some ink.

She laughed at how whiny he sounded as he fixated on the little lighter that resembled the one Sanji would always carry around with himself.

"So I take it, the two of you have not become best buddies then?"

Her question was only met with a contemptuous snort.

"Where are they anyways?", she continued - more serious this time.

"I asked them to drop me off here. Wanted to have some time alone with you before they would come barging in causing chaos again"

"That's almost romantic", she smiled, "For your standards, I mean"

"Wow, thanks a lot", he sarcastically replied but secretly he loved the way she just seamlessly picked up where they left off. There was no awkwardness. No unfamiliarity.

"They'll join us here in a couple of days...", the mosshead continued.

"Wow, it's going to be so strange seeing them again", she spoke moreso to herself than to anyone in particular.

"You don't have to be nervous... You're still part of the crew", Zoro's hand reached out to play with (Y/N)'s hair. A glimmer of hurt flickered over her face. It wasn't even a second but the swordsman still noticed.

"Well, we'll see about that", she forced herself to sound cheerful, "For now, let's celebrate. We should get dressed, Sora could be back any time now"

And with that she pushed herself off the bed to get dressed. A sight Zoro could get used to. This domestic life. A little house. A family. He never wanted this, never dreamed of it. But right this moment, this didn't seem so bad.

(Y/N) was right, not long after the two of them got dressed they heard the happy voice of their son approaching from outside.

"Here, Mommy", the little boy pushed the bottle of rum, he was carrying towards his mother.

"What the-? Sora!", Zoro watched his girlfriend as she struggled to find the right words, "Did Old Mickey seriously sell you this?"

"Oh, no. Here!", Sora reached into his backpocket and handed his mother the bills back that she had given him before he left.

"I don't -", she took a deep breath to compose herself, "Sora, why do you have this?"

"Old Mickey didn't want to sell me the rum. He said I was too young. I told him it was for Dad but he wouldn't believe me!", the child sounded appalled.

"So, instead of just coming back and getting one of us - you just stole it?", his mother was in disbelief but the little boy just shrugged.

"Fuck, Sora. You know that's not okay! I thought I taught you better than this"

"Oi!", Zoro interjected, "Cut the boy some slack! At least he's honest"

"Honest?", the swordsman couldn't help but laugh at how shocked his girlfriend looked, "He just stole a bottle of rum, Zoro!"

"Yeah, well but he didn't keep the money though", Zoro grinned, "He could've said that he bought the alcohol and bag the money for himself. Besides, what did you expect? You told him to go buy some rum"

"Well, not my proudest moment as a parent I guess", she massaged the bridge of her nose.

The swordsman decided to walk over to the witch, hugging her and pressing a kiss against her temple.

"Don't sweat it. We can't all be perfect"

Her content smile quickly turned into a slap to the biceps once she registered the words her boyfriend just said. He wasn't usually known for joking around - sure a few sarcastic remarks directed at the cook but other than that, the mosshead was always rather serious.

"Guys, you'll never believe what I witnessed last night", Usopp excitedly told the rest of the crew during breakfast. It was the morning after (Y/N) and Zoro's first drunken night together. Neither of them joined the crew for breakfast, too hungover from the night before.

Immediately Chopper and Luffy were intrigued. Leaning forward eager to hear what their friend had to say.

"Last night when I had guard duty I saw Zoro with (Y/N) goofing around", Usopp revealed waiting for his friends to be as excited for the newly aquired information as he was but the desired reaction remained absent.

"So what? (Y/N) is always goofing around", Nami shrugged, popping another blueberry into her mouth.

"No! No,no. Zoro was goofing around too", Usopp insisted.

The breakfast table remaind silent for a few seconds before the whole crew broke out in laughter.

"Yeah sure", Sanji grinned, "When I made my rounds last night, the marimo and (Y/N)-san enjoyed a few drinks together. Not that that alcoholic could distinguish a good wine from dishwater", he finished bitterly.

"Typical Usopp", Chopper agreed, hinting towards the snipers affinity towards bending the truth to make up the wildest stories.

"I mean it though", Usopp whined. Why wouldn't anybody believe him?, "They did impressions and everything! Zoro's impression of Sanji was actually pretty hilarious"

It took a few more rounds of convincing but slowly one after the other the Straw Hats started believeing the sniper.

"I knew she was a real witch... She cast a spell on him", Chopper whispered almost fearful of (Y/N)'s abilities.

************************************************************************

It was night and Zoro laid awake (Y/N) peacefully sleeping in his arms. It was a good day. Sora seemed to have alot of fun asking all kinds of questions about their adventures, fish-men and how to become a swordsman. So why couldn't he sleep?

He gently pushed (Y/N) off of him, hoping not to wake her, and got up to get some fresh air. It would only be a couple of days more until the rest of his crew would arrive. Zoro didn't know how he felt about that.

"Leaving already?", (Y/N)'s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"I tried not to wake you", Zoro knew his love was just teasing him.

"Well, you failed", she laughed as she walked up to him, hugging his biceps, "What's wrong with you? Do you already regret coming back for us?"

Zoro could still hear the smile in her voice but he knew her well enough to also hear the hint of genuine concern that swung along with it.

"Of course not!", the swordfighter was appaled, "You were all I could think about ever since finding the One Piece"

"What is it then?"

"I guess I feel guilty"

"Guilty? For what?"

"I know you said it was fine and that you made the decision yourself but all of this - raising Sora by yourself - it must've been so...", he struggled to find the words, "And - and... Sora! He's great and I missed so much. I just don't understand how - how ... How can you just forgive me?"

(Y/N) just listened to his word-vomit, letting him spill his feelings. It was rare that he said that many words without interruption - especially not with that deep of a meaning.

"Oh, Zoro...", the witch cooed, "You're thinking to much about all of this. It's really quite easy... There's nothing to forgive"

She shrugged. The mosshead tried to protest but she wouldn't have it, shutting him down immediately.

"There is nothing to forgive", she repeated this time more forcefully, "We are happy that you're here"

(Y/N) sent him a questioning look as if to ask if he understood her. A loving smile lit up her face when he finally nodded in return.

"Very good", she sighed, "And now let's get back to bed. Your son is a morning person"

************************************************************************

These last remaining days just flew by. Zoro enjoyed spending time with his little family and he was almost a little sad that their crew would disturb their peace.

"(Y/N)!", Luffy flung himself into the witch's arms, wrapping himself around her.

Her happy laugh filled the air.

"I'm so happy to see you all again", she grinned, "Congratulations! I guess I'm in the presence of royalty now"

(Y/N) was still busy greeting all of her friends when Nami spotted a certain green-haired boy hiding behind his mother's legs.

"As happy as I am to see you, (Y/N), where is my little nephew?", the navigator feigned.

The witch grinned, not being used to her son being timid.

"Guys, this is Sora. He's a big fan"

Nami crouched down, pulling the little boy into her chest and immediately peppering his face with kisses.

"Oooooh Nami-swaaaaan, you're so loving and kind~", Sanji was smitten with the way the red-head acted around the child.

Once Nami released Sora from her grasp, the cook leaned down holding out his hand for the little mosshead to shake.

"My name is Sanji and I'm-"

Sanji was interrupted by the little boy kicking him in the shin.

"Sora!", (Y/N) scolded her son.

Zoro couldn't hold back his laughter, patting his son on the shoulder to show his approval.

"Sanji, I'm so sorry!", the witch fussed over the cook.

"Like father like son, huh?", Sanji scowled at Zoro who still couldn't stop laughing.

"Yep", the swordsman had never been more proud in his life.

"Sora, apologize right this instant", the Straw Hats had never heard (Y/N) be this strict.

"C'mon, Babe! What happened? Out of anybody you instigated the most fights", Zoro was still laughing.

It was true. She always found the little fights her boyfriend and the cook would have hilarious. That's why she told her son about them during their bedtime stories but that didn't mean Sora could just do as he pleased.

"No fighting now", Nami interjected, "Sanji, make some food. We need to celebrate. The crew is finally back together"

Sanji did as he was told, happy to be of service. And he didn't disappoint. The meal he created was nothing short of a feast. There was more food than they could possibly eat - if it weren't for Luffy of course. Brook played some happy tunes. And (Y/N) felt at peace, it was just like back when she was still part of the crew. She was just getting to know Jinbei as she watched Sora dance arm in arm with Luffy, Chopper and Usopp, his legs dangling in the air. Her eyes wandered over to Zoro, who was enjoying a drink at the moment and she decided then and there to just let her mind rest for the night and worry about what's to come once the party was over.

************************************************************************

It's been a few days since (Y/N) and her son joined the Straw Hats on the Thousand Sunny. Sora didn't leave Zoro's side even once. The little boy loved watching his father practice and even begged him to teach him some. Zoro didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, he seemed to enjoy spending time with his son just as much. Seeing the two people she loved most - being with her nakama again - all of this felt right. This made it all the more tragic when Nami anounced they'd have to leave soon.

"Great! (Y/N), go get your stuff. Sanji and Franky can help you carry everything", Luffy sounded happy, "Sora can stay here on the ship with us while you do that"

It was Sabaody all over again. Five years ago (Y/N) had to have the same conversation with her crew. She knew Zoro had obligations as Luffy's first mate, so she tried to savour their time together while it lasted. Maybe he'd visit them every couple of years - at least she hoped he would for Sora's sake. Her heart ached as she thought about the little boy. He loved his father so much. Losing him now would devastate him. (Y/N) tried to ignore the fact that she felt the same way.

She sighed, "Luffy... A pirate ship is still no place for a child. Especially now that you are pirate king. You've got a target on your back. All of you"

As if on command all of the Straw Hats yelled some kind of suggestion or protest - even Sora pleaded for his mother to reconsider.

The witch leaned down to be on eye-level with her son, taking both of his hands in her own, "I'm so sorry, Honey... but I promise they can visit us anytime. They found us once... They'll find us again"

She tried to sound cheerful so that her son didn't notice how hard this was for her but she could feel the tears forming already.

"No!", Sora screamed, "I want to be a pirate. Just like Dad!"

Before (Y/N) could answer, Luffy interjected.

"That's a great idea! I was seven when I started my pirate training!"

"But that's not the same!", (Y/N) had never raised her voice at Luffy before so when she realized her yelling she took a deep breath to calm herself, "Luffy, you were a devil fruit user already. Your grandfather is Garp and you spent a significant amount of time with Shanks. Sora is... just a child"

The crew was quiet as (Y/N) unloaded all her frustrations.

"Listen, I was so happy to see you again but I'm not part of your crew anymore and I haven't been for a long time. All those things you've accomplished - everything you've done - I took no part in it. These last couple of days were special but I'm need to take care of my family"

"But we are your family", Nami pleaded. She could only try to imagine how (Y/N) must feel. She knew her well. She knew that (Y/N) wanted to stay. She knew she would never ask Zoro to leave the crew for them because (Y/N) knew that Zoro would do so without hesitation. He loved her more than anything. Anyone could see that. But Nami also knew that (Y/N) was scared.

"I'm sorry...", the other woman shook her head, signaling for her son to say goodbye to the crew.

"Enough", Zoro had been quiet during most of the discussion but he had heard enough.

(Y/N)'s eyes were wide as she stared at her lover.

"I accepted your decision five years ago. I understood that it wasn't safe. I got stronger. We all did. We found the One Piece and made Luffy pirate king. I trained day and night to become the best. The strongest. And then I returned to you. I came back. I will not lose you yet again. Do you hear me?", he sounded almost angry, "I love you more than anything. You and our son. I love that he has your personality. I love that he wants to become a swordfighter just like me. You are not leaving and that's it"

"Zoro...", (Y/N) sighed.

"No! Just no. We can protect you. There's a fight? Fine! We'll fight, you'll go below deck and stay there with Sora until the coast is clear. What about school? I know you're going to ask. You are smart. So is Robin. You can teach him. Fuck, even Chopper can"

(Y/N) could see Robin nodding from where she was standing.

"Zoro-"

"No!", he wasn't finished, "What do you want me to do? Stay with you? Leave the crew? I will... Just say a word and I will"

The witch marched over to where the mosshead was getting increasingly more desperate by the minute. Once she reached him she put her hands on either side of her face.

"Zoro!", she almost yelled.

"What?"

"We'll stay"

The whole crew errupted in cheers as Zoro grabbed her by the waist, spinning her around, pressing a deep kiss on her lips. (Y/N) squealed in surprise - not only by his sudden movement but also because it was the first time that he had initiated closeness between the two of them when other people were around.

"But I swear, if anything happens to us, I'll curse you", she giggled once he sat her down on the ground again.

"I would never let that happen", he assured her.

(Y/N) knew things wouldn't be easy but they were her family and she trusted them. It's been years since she felt like she truly belonged somewhere but seeing her son so happy, she knew she made the right decision.

************************************************************************

Epilogue

Zoro had meanwhile turned towards his mini-me, who couldn't even believe his luck.

"Oi, Sora! Your training starts tomorrow"

[legendweaver]

Koshiro doesn't know...

Do you guys ever think about how Koshiro has never met Luffy or any of the crew? Like, everyone else's found family (that were still alive) got to meet the crew before, or only slightly after, they joined. They saw Luffy, saw the dynamics, and were happy for them. Koshiro just woke up one day, maybe idly wandering what Zoro, renowned pirate hunter is up too, then had a news coo drop his damn bounty at his feet. How confused do you think he was. He finds out A, Zoro finally got outside of the East Blue, B is no longer a pirate hunter, C is wanted by the government, and D is a pirate now?!

I find it hilarious, because he's commentary on Zoro's bounties (when they're not showing Mihawk for them as the other half of Zoro's found family) is just "Well, I hope he's happy, and is still following the Swordsman code", because he has no idea what the hell's going on.

But think of all the funny rationalizations he tried to come up with. Was he blackmailed? (not incorrect) Paid? (no, my son would never) Some kind of mind control?(doubtful)

Maybe he thinks that because Mihawk is a warlord and works for the government, so Zoro is by default going against the government as a pirate, and is just part of the crew as it serves his needs. Because he doesn't know! He doesn't know "do you have any problem with that Pirate King?!" or that nothing happened! He has no idea that his dumb sword son is head over heels, like near instantly, for Monkey D "Dumbass" Luffy, who Koshiro had to ask around for who he was, since when he saw Luffy's first bounty he probably only had the passing thought "hm, high for the East Blue" and promptly forgot about it.

Guys, he probably thinks the straw hats are like a normal crew.

[a-dam-leo-valdez-lover]

Anyone But You

Leo Valdez x Reader

6k words

TW: implied sexual content

When you’re trapped on a magical flying boat with 7 other people, there’s somethings that you definitely don’t want to happen, like getting caught after making out with your best friend who you may or may not be in love with, you also don’t want them to overhear you to say it meant nothing. AKA I watched Anyone but you this weekend because I’m in love with Sydney Sweeney and all I could think about is the amount of drama that would’ve happened if this was a teen flick. Like no adults (or Annabeth) to think things through, the drama would be unmatched. Soooo yeah and I know this doesn’t fully fit into the actual plot of the books and it doesn’t really follow the plot of the movie either but canon be damned. I’m gonna just make things up sorry.

Y/N’s POV:

They were friends, that was it. Sure Leo Valdez was cute, and yeah maybe he had this way of smiling at you that made it impossible not to blush, and of course his jokes were hilarious, despite you being the only one laughing most of the time, but it didn’t mean anything. At least not at first, but on a boat filled with couples, by default you spent most of your time with Leo, at first you were sort of forced into it, but eventually you sought him out when you were bored. His non stop talking was sure to fill the silence that you found suffocating. Eventually you two became joint at the hip, everyone could see it, but it's not like you two were ever truly alone with one another, especially after Percy and Annabeth’s little “falling asleep talking the the stables” incident when you first set sail. Coach Hedge spent more time patrolling for indecent activity between the crew than he did for monsters. Still, your moments with Leo managed to keep you up at night, you woke up with a smile on your face every time. That was of course until everything went wrong.

Percy and Annabeth were gone, lost in the depths of Tartarus and as you rushed to try and save them, there was a constant cloud of doubt and stress covering the ship. The only saving grace was the departure of Coach Hedge, Nico, and Reyna as the set off across the world to deliver the Athena Parthenos to Camp Half-Blood. Not that you disliked having the later two around, it just made it simpler to not have so many people on a small ship, and as for Coach Hedge, it didn’t take long for the couples to start spending a night together with no fear of an angry satyr with a baseball bat intruding. Slowly but surely everybody seemed to be bunking with someone else at night, not just the couples, you often found yourself sleeping over with Hazel and Piper or falling asleep on Frank or Leo’s floor while hanging out. The only persons room you didn’t find you self in was Jason’s and that’s because the boy was always up at 4 am no matter what time he went to sleep, and you weren’t crazy enough to be awake at such an ungodly hour.It was obvious though, that nobody wanted to be alone, especially now the the crew’s size had shrunk significantly. That’s how you found yourself in Leo’s room late one afternoon, nobody besides Jason could stand being on the ships deck for too long do to the storm brewing meaning you needed a way to occupy your time. Everyone seemed a bit on edge that day, but you figured Leo could make you laugh and probably would be alone working on some project anyways. You were right, slowly as the day moved on, talking turned into something more, at least that’s what the cluster of hickeys that painted your neck implied. You hadn’t thought too much about it when you were in the heat of the moment, but now, laying in Leo’s arms as the sun began to rise, you were panicking. Before you could even think about what you were doings, you had already gathered your belongings, doing your best to make yourself presentable before sneaking out and back to your own bunk.

You thought you had gotten away with it too, styling your hair in a braid an throwing on a oversize sweatshirt, you didn’t think anyone would notice, but over course Piper did. The very first thing she did when you emerged from your room was call you out.

“Looks like someone had a fun night”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about Pipes,” You tried your best to sound oblivious but it wasn’t working.

‘‘Right, so you didn���t spend the night in Leo’s room and come out covered in. Hi-“ She was cut off by you shoving your hand over her mouth just as Frank turned the corner to head into his room.

“Do I even want to know,” He laughed as he looked at you both.

“No, bye Frank” You said way too quickly to not be suspicious before dragging Piper into her room and closing the door behind you.

“Spill” She commanded.

It left you wondering for a moment if she had used her charmspeak on you because it was like you couldn’t get the words out fast enough, desperate to tell someone about how you felt. It was more than just something physical, Leo was your best friend, your confidant, last night almost seemed to be too good to be true, with you talking for hours about everything under the sun. You told Piper about how you felt after, about how you snuck out first thing in the morning, panicked about what to do and what to say, about how all you could think about the entire time the two of you had been in her room talking, is what you were going to say when you saw Leo on deck later.

“So what you’re telling me is that instead of telling Leo you’re in love with him you snuck out and didn’t say anything. You just left him alone in his bed.”

“I never said I was in love with Leo, I just-“

She cut you off, “No Y/N you didn’t say it, but it's pretty damn obvious. So?”

“So what?”

“Are you going to tell him?” She asked

“I can’t do that! What if he doesn’t feel the same, what if it-“

“Y/n I swear if you don’t get your ass over to his room right now and tell him I’m going to do it myself”

“Is that an option? Because I’m totally okay with that”

“Y/n GO”

So you went, and as you approached Leo’s door you saw it was cracked open and could hear 2 voices coming from inside, Hazel’s and Leo’s.

Leo’s POV

Last night changed everything, for the first time in his life, Leo wasn’t the odd man out. For the first time in his life, Leo felt like things were going right, the girl he’d been in love with for weeks was in his bed, in his arms, and yet the most exciting part by far was the way she smiled, the way she blushed whenever he made a joke, Y/N was perfect. Everything was perfect, until he woke up and she was gone. At first he sat there wondering what he did wrong, maybe he should go find her, or maybe give her space. It wasn’t like there was a manual out there for what to do after hooking up with your best friend who you’re secretly in love with and she snuck out on you. So instead he found the next best thing, after a quick iris message Hazel was in his room in no time at all. So Leo told her everything, well not everything, she was still pretty naive in a lot of ways, and he was pretty sure some of the 21st century occurrences would’ve given the girl an aneurysm. But Hazel listen to every word of the slightly abridged version of events and came to the simplest conclusion.

“So you’re in love with Y/n” She stated quite directly.

“In LOVE with Y/N? No not at all” He didn’t even know why he said it.

“Okay but you talked all night and kissed and said everything is different? How can you say you’re not in love” She asked, she seemed genuinely confused, but so did Leo to be fair.

“Look all of this is new to me, and I don’t really do the whole love and relationships thing” He tried to say it in a way that seemed cool like some sort of playboy, it wasn’t working.

“Okay but you like her right”

He thought about it for a minute before answering, the thought of being in love was enough to make his stomach churn with anxiety, romance was uncharted territory. There were too many feelings, too many moving peices that were out of his control. Sure Y/n was basically his entire world, some days he could’ve sworn he woke up just to see her, but at the same time she left so quickly without even saying goodbye, what if he was overthinking what happened last night. So he let his insecurities take over, and his hurt fueled the words the came out of his mouth.

“Honestly Hazel, I think I was just bored, I mean Y/N was there. Besides I don’t do love, Y/ns great and all but, its never going to happen between us”

“Are you sure about that” Hazel was shocked

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life” And for a brief moment Leo could’ve sworn he heard footsteps in the hall outside his room .

“I don’t know Leo, maybe she just left because she was nervous”

“Nervous? Nervous about what? I was nervous too, but I didn’t leave, I stayed.”

“Why did you stay though?”

“Because,” He hesitated, “ Because I thought maybe we could be together, that she loved me too”

“Then maybe you need to tell her that, she deserves to know”

Y/N’s POV

“Honestly Hazel, I think I was just bored, I mean Y/N was there. Besides I don’t do love, Y/ns great and all but, its never going to happen between us” Leo’s words hit Y/N like a punch to the gut. Maybe he didn’t mean it. Hazel seemed to be thinking the same thing.

“Are you sure about that” Hazel said almost too quietly to hear despite the open door.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life”

That was all it took for y/n to run away, trying your best to be silent knowing you were probably failing. You did your best to hold it together, with each step closer to your room however the tears seemed to flow harder. How could you have been so stupid. Y/N thought that maybe Leo felt the same, even Piper had agreed, if they were both wrong, Y/N must be damn near delusional. It was moments like these where Y/N missed Annabeth more than ever, she would’ve been straight to the point doing some analysis of the situation and determining the best way for Y/N to move on. Hell it was moments like this where Y/N wished Coached Hedge was running around with a baseball bat and could’ve prevented this from ever happening in the first place.

You made it to your room slamming the door behind you, the impact shook the room, causing a picture frame that had been hung on the wall to fall the the ground shattering in a hundred tiny pieces. You couldn’t even be bothered to clean it up instead you sat down on the floor and cried. Y/n’s body shook with sobs and realized why they called it heartbreak. Just like the picture frame on the ground he heart felt like a piece of glass that had been broken beyond repair.

Y/n didn’t know how long she had been sitting there, maybe 10 minutes or ten hours but you did know you had no tears left to cry. Your lips were dry, your eyes were lined with red, and your head was aching. You had enough medical training from your time living in cabin 7 to know you should probably get some water and try to eat something, but you just didn’t have the energy so you kept sitting there. It felt like eternity later when there was a knock on the door. Y/N wasn’t sure if she said come in or if Frank out of worry took it upon himself to open the door unprompted, but there he was looking at the sniffling mess of a girl sitting on the floor surrounded by broken glass. He had a plate of food in his hand, vegetarian enchiladas, it was Leo’s night to make dinner. Without a word, Frank set down the plate and started cleaning up the glass. When he finished that he looked at Y/N who still hadn’t said a word to him, he wasn’t sure exactly what to do or why she was upset but he knew that this was going to be someone else’s problem so he got Piper.

When Piper got to Y/N’s room a few minutes later not much had changed. Y/N still sat on her floor but unlike Frank, Piper knew what the look on y/n’s face meant and what had caused her tears.

“Don’t tell me he turned you down” She said softly wrapping y/n in a hug as she sat on the ground next to you.

“I didn’t give him that chance to say it to my face not after what he told Hazel”

“What do you mean? What did he say to Hazel?” She questioned

“He said it was never going to happen between us, he said he was sure about it.”

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I shouldn't have told you to go over there. He’s such a jerk. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Just don’t tell anyone, please” You said softly. It was bad enough you looked like an idiot, it would be worse if everyone knew Leo Valdez had rejected you after everything that had happened. “Promise me.”

Maybe it was just the overwhelming emotions you were feeling, but you didn’t even notice that Piper never responded.

1 Week Later

Everyone was on edge, petty fights and disagreements became blowouts far too often, and more than ever it felt like the 6 of you left on the ship would rip each other's throats out if given the chance. Y/N and Leo weren’t immune, it was probably worse for you two since he couldn’t take the hint you wanted nothing to do with him. You’d been trying your best to avoid him whenever possible but he continued to seek your attention, as if he had any right to talk to you after everything. While Leo didn’t seem to take the hint, everybody else seemed to pick up on what was happening. Piper had talked to Jason about what happened, after all it only seemed fair he knew since the 4 of you had gone on your first quest together and he was the only one who didn’t know the story but she had sworn him to secrecy. What Y/N didn’t know however, was that everyone but her seemed to be talking about her relationship issues.

Frank thought he had put two and two together after seeing y/n crying and seeing Leo act like more of a love struck idiot than normal, but what he didn’t understand is why Y/N would be upset that Leo liked her. Sure Leo was basically the most annoying person to ever exist second only to Octavian, maybe, but Y/n very clearly liked him so it didn’t make sense. At least not until he talked to Hazel and Piper one afternoon as they made a pit stop in a small town to get some groceries.

“Maybe I’m just dumb, but why is Y/N avoiding Leo? I thought she liked him and he clearly likes her back” Frank asked.

“Look they’re both my friends and I’m not taking sides here, but just because he had a sudden change of heart doesn’t mean she automatically has to forgive him,” for someone who wasn’t picking sides, Piper was being pretty clear how she felt.

“Forgive him for what?” Hazel looked lost

“What do you mean change of heart?” Frank asked

“Look Y/N asked me not to talk about it she feels awful enough as is without everybody knowing what Leo said” Piper said looking slightly torn, she didn’t want to betray y/ns trust but its not like she promised her anything.

“Okay but it's not like I’m going to go to Y/n and ask her about it, I’m just trying to figure out what happened. One moment she’s laughing with you in the hallway Piper, and the next she’s crying and ignoring Leo whenever he tries to talk to her,” Frank explained, “from where im standing it makes no sense, she’s clearly liked him for weeks, but now that he is trying to get with her she just pretends he doesn’t exist.”

“No I’m sorry but that is so not what’s happening” Piper said all worries about betraying Y/N seemed to disappear pretty quick, “I don’t know why Leo all of a sudden is all over Y/n considering he told Hazel there was no way he’d every date Y/n”

“Wait, he told Y/N about our conversation?” Hazel looked more confused than ever, “because if they talked about it, then she knows he’s in love with her, he admitted it right after he said that , he was just scared she left without saying anything because she didn’t like him.”

“Wait so he does like her” Now Piper was confused.

“So they both like each other? I was right, but this still doesn’t explain why Y/n is all mad at him then.” Frank looked a little too pleased with himself for someone who still had no clue what was happening.

“Of course he likes her, I mean he’s totally in love with her,” Hazel acted like this was the ost obvious thing in the world, “but I’m with Frank here, if she likes him too I don’t get why she’s mad.”

“Because she went to go talk to him and heard him say it was never going to happen between them, and she just left” Piper stated

“Which means when I went to Y/N’s room and she was crying its because she didn’t hear the rest of the conversation” Frank said

“And Leo took my advice to tell her he loves her, but” Hazel continued

“She won't listen to him because she’s upset” Piper finished

“So, what do we do?” Frank was asking the important questions.

“I mean we should probably let them handle this on their own right?” Hazel, sweet innocent Hazel couldn’t be more wrong.

“No, we have to set them up,” Piper looked at hazel who clearly disagreed, “and before you say anything, think about it, we need the two of them on their best behavior if we are gonna save Percy and Annabeth and what better way to make them get along than if they’re getting it on”

“Getting it on?” Hazel asked

Frank looked panicked. “What Piper means is we need them to date, or at least be willing to be in the same room with one another.”

“And how are we going to do that,” Hazel asked.

“Easy, divide and conquer” Frank said

When Hazel, Frank, and Piper got back to the ship, things were worse than when they had left. It seems Leo had given up on trying to talk to Y/N, instead he had resorted to leaving when ever she walked in the room, and at one point at lease according to Jason, while fighting a monster who had gotten on board, the two were so busy arguing they almost killed each other instead. This could only mean one thing, they were going to need more help to set the two up so Jason was enlisted in the plan. It started simple at first, Seats were taken strategically at the table forcing Y/n and Leo to sit either directly next to each other or across from one another. It didn’t make for a pleasant dining experience to say the least. For the first few meals most of the dinner conversation went from bad to worse.

“Can you pass the salt” Y/N asked, the shaker was right in front of Leo, and while she’d rather not talk to him, her mama would’ve killed her for not using her manners at the dinner table.

Nobody moved. The silence was thick, it was salt for gods sake, one of them could just pass it over, but it was right in front of Leo and he wasn’t moving.

“Leo, can you pass y/n the salt” Hazel whispered, may he just hadn’t heard her.

“Oh she was asking me,” his voice was dripping with sarcasm, “I thought we weren’t speaking.”

“Yeah well if we aren’t talking you may as well just shut up and pass the salt” Y/N’s voice was laced with venom.

“What’s your problem” Leo practically jumped out of his chair.

“Me? I don’t have a problem”

“Oh please it looks like you have plenty of them”

“Okay, that’s enough you two” Jason tried to intervene before it went too far, it had been the same conversation for the past 3 meals and it never ended well, “Leo could you just give her the salt.”

“That depends, is she just going to use it then disappear?”

“Leo-“ Jason warned”

“Fine take it, whatever makes you happy right Y/N” He didn’t wait to hear ehr response before storming off.

Clearly they needed to try harder than that. So that night Piper, Frank, Hazel, and Jason devised a second part of the plan. If the root of the issue was Leo thinking Y/N didn’t like him and that’s why she was ignoring him, and Y/N overheard the conversation where Leo insisted he wouldn’t date her, then it was up to everyone else to subtly tell let the two know just how wrong they got things. The plan was mostly Jason’s idea, but he was definitely right. Piper was almost annoyed she didn’t think of it sooner, especially considering her mom was the goddess of love and all that. So they set into action, Frank and Piper would patrol the deck while Leo was steering the ship and talk about how Y/N is clearly just upset because she thinks Leo doesn’t like her just loud enough that he would overhear, Jason would have Y/n help him make dinner and be a bit more direct asking her what’s happening between her and Leo and do his best to push her into talking to him. Hazel was the final step, if nobody could get them to make up she would do her best to guilt trip them into speaking, she wasn’t sure how yet but she’d come up with something should the need arise.

Leo’s POV

Steering the ship late at night got boring, sure one of the others gladly would’ve taken over if he asked, but none of them quite understood how to operate the whole ship, well no one except Annabeth. Besides he wasn’t getting much sleep nowadays anywhere, maybe it was the impending war with Gaea, or the fact that his best friend hated him, but he was up all night all the time. If he was going to be awake he may as well be productive. So he steered the ship, checking the radar on occasion and talking festus when things got a bit too quiet. He knew Piper and Frank were on patrol and would eventually make their way in to talk to him, but until them Leo was left alone with his thoughts. He didn’t have any clue what he did to Y/N but he knew she had no reason to be ignoring him after she left him alone that night. Plus, he tried talking to her more than once to tell her how he felt, but she wouldn’t even give her the time of day so really she was the problem. Clearly that night together meant nothing to her so he decided it would mean nothing to him. He no longer loved Y/N. It would be much simpler that way. At least that’s what he told himself as the exhaustion started setting in.

“Look Piper, I know I’m not Leo’s biggest fan or anything but I don’t understand why Y/N just tell him how she feels” Franks voice broke through the steady beeping of machinery as they walked down the hall.

“It’s because she overheard him talking to Hazel and now she thinks he doesn’t like her which is ridiculous”

Y/N overheard him talking to Hazel? That couldn’t be right, she’d left and he didn’t see her all day. He thought back to that morning as he talked to Hazel when it clicked, he swore he had heard footsteps, it must have been Y/N.

“I get that, but why didn’t she just talk to Leo”

‘Frank, you’re the one who found her crying that night, she probably felt terrible and didn’t want to get hurt but talking to him again. We all know she isn’t the best at emotions.” Piper’s voice sounded weird.

“Yeah well neither is Leo.” That wasn't weird especially coming from Frank, but still he didn’t need to say it like that, “ But its pretty obvious to everyone but Y/N that he is head over heels in love with her. Maybe he just needs to give it one more shot, you know, talk to her alone and apologize for what she overheard and explain the full story. If he tells her he’s sorry and just explains he was worried she’d reject him, she would definitely forgive him and they could just live happily ever after.”

“Either way until one of them decides to be the bigger person and talk to the other, we’re in for a long ride.”

It was settled, as much as he would never admit this publicly, Frank was right. He needed to talk to y/n and he needed to do it now before she could hate him anymore. He put festus into autopilot and did his best to pretend he didn’t overhear Piper and Frank talking.

“Hey Leo, didn’t know you were still up” Piper said casually

“Of course, someone’s gotta keep this ship moving if were going to get to Percy and Annabeth in time” Leo forced a laugh, he didn’t really have time to stand here chatting

“Well we will be here all night if you need anything,” Piper offered

“Actually I have to run down to the boiler room for a few minutes if one of you wouldn’t mind keeping and eye on the radar, we don’t really have time to deal with any monster attacks right now”

“Yeah you got it bro, and hey dinner is in like 5 minutes try not to come back covered in grease or Hazel may kill you” Frank said with a smile

Leo didn’t even have time to think about how weird Frank was acting, like seriously when had Frank ever referred to anyone let alone Leo as bro. Still Leo was already on his way down the stairs to the living quarters, he needed to talk to y/n.

Y/N’s POV

Y/N was just about ready to go hide in her room for the next 3-5 business days, or at least until they reach the doors of death, whichever ever came first. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally exhausted. When she wasn’t patrolling or trying to come up with some sort of plan to save the entire world, she was arguing with Leo, and when she wasn’t arguing with Leo she was thinking about him. Actually she thought about him basically 24/7 but she didn’t want to think about that too much. Leo was a condescending little jerk, and he didn’t deserve the space he held in her mind, now if only her brain would get the memo. All Y/n wanted was a distraction. If she were back at Camp Half-Blood right now it would be easy to get her mind off Leo. She would just curl up with a book or do target practice with Will, heck she’d even volunteer for extra shifts in the med bay if it meant getting her mind off things, but abroad the Argo II the only distractions they ever seemed to get were monster attack and Y/N really did want one of those. So she settled on taking a nap. All she had to do was curl up under her blankets and at least until dinner she wouldn’t have to think about Leo and his stupid, adorable, obnoxious face. So that’s what she did it felt like she’d only been asleep for a few minutes when there was a pounding at her door. Y/n walked over to open it, surprised to see Jason there of all people.

“I need your help” He said looking but panicked.

“Yeah of course, what’s wrong” Y/n was concerned, it wasn’t like Jason to ask for help and she was the last person he’d come to normally. It was weird, something must be seriously wrong.

“I was making dinner and I burned basically everything and I mean you can’t even eat it and we only have like 20 minutes till dinner I need your help.”

“Can’t someone else help? I’m a terrible cook.” Y/N insisted, it wasn’t that she was all that terrible, it was just not something she really enjoyed doing. Baking on the other hand was her favorite.

”I can’t ask Hazel she made dinner the last 2 nights, Piper has never cooked a day in her life unless you count cereal, and Frank is Frank, he’d say yes because he’s too nice but he’d be miserable. Plus he’s already on patrol right now so it wouldn’t be fair to pull him off to help me cook.”

“Fine, I’ll help but you have to help me make breakfast tomorrow then”

”Deal” He was quick to agree.

So Y/n and Jason made their way down to the kitchen, there wasn’t any evidence of burned food but Y/N figured Jason had already gotten rid of it. The two of them worked side by side to make up a pasta dish that hopefully looked like it was the original plan. It was actually pretty nice, Jason’s no Y/N hadn’t had time to hang out in a while and it was nice to catch up. They talked about all sorts of things, what they wanted to do after the quest was over, their favorite movies, and Y/n least favorite topic as of late, Leo. Jason was good Y/N would give him that much. Despite her managing to avoid the topic so far he was able to sneak it in when they were talking about their favorite foods on the ship.

”I mean your breakfast sandwiches are killer Y/n but i really think Leo’s the best chef here” Jason laughed hoping Y/N wouldn’t snap at him for mentioning Leo’s name.

”I hate that you’re right” Y/n admitted, looking rather annoyed at herself for doing so.

”What happened between you anyways? It’s like all of a sudden someone flipped a switch and you went from loving each other to hating each other, did he do something because I’ll kill him.” Okay Jason was definitely being weird, he wasn’t normally one to but into peoples lives.

”I have no clue what you’re talk about.”

“Don’t lie, you guys were fine and now you can’t be in the same room without screaming at one another, so clearly something happened.” Jason insisted, Y/N just didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just drop it.

”Jason, seriously its fine,” it wasn’t fine.

”Look you’re both my friends, and I know all of us being trapped here can get intense sometimes, but he likes you and you like him. Maybe you should just talk it out.”

“And we are done here, I’m going to my room to clean up before dinner. I'll see you in 5.” And with that Y/n walked away effectively ending the conversation.

Gods, she should’ve known something was up. Since when had Jason ever wanted to talk about feelings, he was plotting something. Scratch that, Piper was probably the one plotting something since nobody else would be able to get Jason involved. Besides, he didn’t know anything, Leo didn’t like her and it was like nobody besides Y/N could get the hint and move on. She closed the door to her room before quickly changing out of her current clothes. Just as she was tying up her hair there was another knock at the door.

”Hey Y/n dinner is in like 2 minutes wanna walk up with me?” Hazel asked.

”I’m changing right now so just go without me”

There was no response, y/n continued to tie her hair up when there was another knock.

”Hazel I said go without me”

”Um, its not Hazel, can I come in and talk to you for a second?”

Leo. This is just what she needed, she could probably just say no and head up to dinner now right? Besides anything he had to say he could say in front of everybody else at this point. It wasn’t like everybody wasn’t up in her business anyway. She debated what to do for another minute when Leo’s voice rang out again.

”Y/N? Please I know you’re in there” He said it with a slight laugh, almost involuntarily she smiled, its like he knew she was trying to figure out how to escape the room without talking to him.

There was only one thing she could do at this point, so Y/N opened the door.

There was a palpable tension in the room. Leo shuffled in awkwardly unsure what he should be doing, is this the sort of conversation you have sitting or standing. Should he keep the door open? Maybe he should close it, the walls on the ship were pretty thin so if y/n decided to murder Leo someone would probably hear it. No he’d keep it open, that way if things went south he could just run away.

”What do you want Valdez,” Okay straight to the point, clearly this was going to be harder than Leo originally thought.

“I’m sorry.” Gods that wasn’t what he wanted to say, well it was, but he had so much more to say and he couldn’t find the words.

“Okay if that’s all then I’m going to go grab dinner”

“No that’s not what I meant,” Leo said quickly

“So you’re not sorry? Great talk Leo” Y/N began to push her way to the door.

“Y/n stop.” His voice seemed to echo in the room, y/n froze and turned around to face him. “Please Y/n, I need you to hear me out and when I’m done you can chose to hate me if that’s what you want but first i need you to listen, promise me you’ll listen.”

“I- I promise” Y/N had never seen Leo like this, he looked worried, upset, gods when she looked at him its like she could see all the sleepless nights engraved in his eyes.

“I’m terrible at apologies, I normally just make a joke and laugh it off but I’m not joking about this, I need you to know I’m 100% serious with what I’m about to say,” He looked at you as if waiting for you to shut him down, to break your promise instead you just nodded. “That night we spent together was basically the best night of my entire life and I was really happy because I’ve been in love with you for ages, basically since the first day I laid eyes on you. And when you disappeared without saying anything I panicked. I thought maybe it didn’t mean anything to you, I thought maybe you regretted it so I talked to Hazel. And I know I said some awful things, I said that I would never date you but I was lying, I was just hurt and trying to pretend I wasn’t. Gods Y/N I’d give the world to take it back but I can’t, and that’s what you overheard, me being an asshole because my feelings got hurt.

“And I know you had no reason to stick around but if you did you would know that i also told Hazel I was in love with you, not was am, I am in love with you. And I didn’t know you overheard me, Hazel told me I needed to talk to you so that’s why I kept trying and I wouldn’t leave you alone, and clearly you were mad at me but i didn’t know why at the time, and I know i was jerk to you and I can’t undo that but I’m hoping you’ll forgive me. Gods, I’m such an idiot and I should-“

Gods the boy could ramble forever if you’d let him, but you didn't have time for that. Instead you cut him off by kissing him.

”Wait, so does this mean you forgive me?” Leo asked

”What do you think” You laughed leaning in to kiss him again.

”Well I want to think yes, but I’m pretty sure we’ve established thinking is not my strong suit”

“I forgive you Leo.” His face lit up, “and I’m sorry too, my feelings were hurt and I didn’t give you a chance to explain anything, and you should know I only left because I was worried, I mean what do you say to your best friend after-“

“after you blurred the lines of your friendship and haven’t figured out what comes next?” He finished for you with a laugh.

“yeah”

“We really should get better at this whole talking thing, it would probably save us a lot of trouble.” He smiled, taking you into his arms.

“Speaking of trouble we should probably make our way up to dinner before one of them comes down here.” You smile and start pulling him to the door.

Okay so I know that about halfway through I started writing she/her instead of you but in my defense I stayed up all night writing this and also I’m literally just a girl.

[running-tweezers]

Between Erik’s BG3 video, working on a DAMN crew D&D fic, and starting to play D&D again for the first time in months. I have been having many thoughts about Redacted characters and D&D.

(DAMN crew will not be included bc all my thoughts for them are going in my fic, hopefully)

— Guy takes so many notes during sessions. He’s always over there scribbling away, one would think he’s so dedicated. But if you look at his notes it’s just pages and pages of jokes and commentary about what’s going on that make no sense out of context. They are not in any way helpful but they are HILARIOUS.

— Avior is a Rules Lawyer. Which is usually seen as a negative thing. But he’s more of a Rules Lawyer for good. Like a Pro Bono Rules Lawyer. He’s not the guy arguing with the DM over rules, he’s the guy reminding his fellow players of that one ability their subclass has that they forgot about and would be really useful to them right now.

— Asher gets really superstitious about dice. He rolls all his d20s before the session and picks the one that rolled the highest. If one of his dice is rolling poorly, it goes into dice jail to atone.

— Vincent is a little Dice Gremlin. He has SO MANY dice. Dice of all kinds. From cheap sets to gorgeous custom handmade sets. Metal ones. Semi-precious stone ones. He has to get a new set of dice for every new character he plays that matches the aesthetic of the character. But despite it all, his favorite is still a cheap Chessex set from a game store that he’s had forever.

— Marcus and Kody are both “That Guys”. If you’ve played for a while you know what constitutes That Guy. You do not want to be That Guy. But they’re That Guy in different ways.

Marcus plays D&D like it’s a single player game, with no regard for if his actions might affect his fellow players experience. He’s the kind of guy that would “it’s what my character would do” his way to ruining everyone’s good time.

Kody gets pissy if something he tries to do doesn’t work. He rolls a nat 1, and then argues with the DM about it. Then when the DM says rules are rules he pouts the whole rest of the game and stops participating.

— Nick would be That Guy, but he tries to bring some HORRIBLE unbalanced catboy race homebrew he found on Reddit to his DM that would 100% break the game. And the DM politely turns him down and suggests he could just play a Tabaxi. But that’s not good enough and now he doesn’t want to play anymore.

[deadite-central]

Applauding myself for somehow fitting my thoughts on this arc in just three posts. This was a feat

Pudding to me is one of the most overhated characters in the series. She’s a sixteen year old girl who has been conditioned to believe by her own mother that she’s disgusting and ugly, and since she’s not physically strong the only way she can see herself being useful is by being the cunning one. When Sanji calls her eye beautiful, the same eye that she was ridiculed for her entire life, she breaks down, and she falls for Sanji as he’s the first person outside of her siblings that sees her as something other than a monster once he sees her eye. She’s not an evil bitch like a lot of people are convinced she is, she’s a traumatised child

In other news about the wedding, I adore Luffy’s plan of using Brûlée’s power and doing the funniest thing he could: creating a situation in which a hundred feral Luffys jump out of Big Mom’s cake. Absolutely hilarious and wonderful everyone go home. Things seriously don’t go Linlin’s way cause soon enough Jinbei straight up leaves her crew. And holy hell I love this scene so much. He’s so badass! Standing in front of a terrifying emperor and not even flinching? Not being scared at all? Jinbei is one of the most loyal Straw Hats and here you can see it on full display

Big Mom’s backstory in itself is insane, and while most people will be jaw dropped at the plot point that Linlin accidentally ate her friends without even realising it, to me the Mother Carmel reveal is what always gets me. ‘Orphan seller’ displayed in the box is so jarring, and the fact it’s the navy looking for these kids should tell you all you need to know about how much they actually care for the justice they wear on their backs so proudly

While Luffy vs Katakuri is great in the anime, as Whole Cake is where I’d say the current style of One Piece finally found it’s bearings, it’s absolutely ingenious in the manga. Oda goes so hard on the panelling, and the pacing of the fight is absolutely wonderful, with the reader learning more about Luffy’s abilities, Katakuri as a person and the dynamic between the two as the battle goes along, and it never once feels as if Oda is drawing something out or adding unneeded stuff. Everything here serves a purpose, and I adore this fight, even if it isn’t my favorite in the series

Also on the topic of Luffy vs Katakuri I highly recommend this video as it goes over WHY the panelling of the fight works, it’s really good I just gotta recommend it

Something I really like about Whole Cake is how it brings back the themes of Sanji’s character explored in Baratie, and puts them on full display. Big Mom may be a tyrannical emperor that’s chasing the main characters to kill them, but for Sanji, she’s still hungry, and she still deserves to eat food. It’s the biggest reason Luffy wanted him on the crew: his kindness towards everyone, something his father saw as a weakness, but that One Piece shows you again and again, is an important trait to have

And well, the cake Sanji, Pudding and Chiffon make us absolutely wonderful. I really want to bring attention to the absolute masterclass of a panel this last one here is, from the passage of time when you’re holding your breath between the six panels before it, to the absolutely amazing rendering of Big Mom’s face, I adore it so much. Maybe it’s a silly thing to gush over and give a whole section to; but damn me if I didn’t mention it

Besides the musical number being sung in the background, Whole Cake Island ends with Jinbei now officially a Straw Hat, but having to leave for the last time to save the crew. Again, his loyalty is unmatched, one that has been built up since the Summit War Saga, and every single time it’s on display, I love his character more and more. I genuinely don’t get people who believe he shouldn’t be a Straw Hat, he deserves to be part of the crew more than anyone else you could have wanted here

[jlan22]

ok look, this has been scratching my brain the past few days and i had to let it out, fair warning though it's not THAT shocking it just fascinates me and i was going insane as the damn linebeck stan i am

midway through this blog i just checked the zelda wiki and hyrule historia again and found out 100 years passed since then, so just a small warning this is all BEFORE i found out about the 100 year gap between the games, and theory's rather going with the more "logical" 70-80 years

This is basically related to Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks, and specifically Linebeck himself. Based on some rambles of mine one random night at 4 am, with no prior research but facts from Hyrule Historia, and autism.

In Spirit Tracks, you come across Linebeck III, who looks very similar to Linebeck himself from Phantom Hourglass. He gives you a letter from his grandpa, which is signed "Linebeck Senior". Initially I thought; "Is his grandpa Linebeck's father? Is Linebeck this guy's dad, then?" But turns out I was wrong.

I was reading Hyrule Historia the other day (i have the french version, hence the french screenshot underneath) and it says that Linebeck III is not only Linebeck's descendant as mentioned in-game but also his grandson. Therefore, Linebeck Senior is in fact the guy we all know (and love) from Phantom Hourglass.

don't worry, i got you covered, put a translation at the top as well

But then I was confused. I asked myself; "Wait, how did Linebeck ALREADY have a grandson???"

Putting Linebeck aside, if we pay close attention to Niko, the silly hehe pirate from Tetra's crew who appeared since Wind Waker, we notice that he's aged up, from possibly a child/teen to a grandpa. I'd like to pretend Niko's around 14-15 during TWW and PH.

So if we think about it, a lot of time has passed since the events of Phantom Hourglass, let's say 70-80 years. we love you grandpa niko

Anyway, going back to Linebeck, let's say he's in his 40s, and so is Linebeck III (maybe younger, he seems like it), and if we still say that the average human life expectancy is 80 years, that means Linebeck III is born when his father's the same age, being 30-40 years old.

If we take this same pattern with Linebeck (Senior) and his child (Linebeck II), that means...

Linebeck's a father during the events of Phantom Hourglass???

i'm honestly shook over this fact idk why. it's just so funny to me to think of linebeck as a dad, seeing his personality and the way he acts and so on. i just always see him as some bitchless pathetic stinky garbage man LMAO

With whom did he even have this child? Jolene? Who knows?

Personally, I just think it's funny to think of Jolene's being after Linebeck's ass because of that child he possibly abandoned. But that's not the canon reason why she's after him, that being just pure revenge.

honestly i'd like to think of it like that it's just hilarious like "LINEBECK FOR FUCKS SAKE WHERES THE CHILD SUPPORT"

However, if we delve into the more canon timeline, being ST happening 100 years after PH, that would mean that Linebeck possibly had his child after finding land, by the end of PH. It's either that, or he could just be much older than I thought (like, maybe 60?) and he's already had his child.

and niko's old as fuck and somehow still thriving

wild

thanks for listening to my rambles baibaiii

[thrawns-backrest]

My thoughts on Treason but just the funny bits. I'll do a more serious review but here's some crack for now (CONTAINS SPOILERS BEWARE):

Pik and Waffle, lovable evil jocks with the silliest little names. No, I will not elaborate.

Savit is the embodiment of the 'he's out of line but he's right' meme. He was literally right. No actually he was wrong, he gave Stardust a few years when in reality it only lasted a day (Fs in the chat but also lmao, get rekt).

I'm still not supposed to root for the Empire like this but here we are.

Someone give Ronan a 'Krennic's top simp' shirt that he can wear with his goofy little cape. Which I'm happy to say the book read to filth, as it should.

The fact that Eli is still so genuine and likeable that even barbed-stick-up-my-ass Ronan felt bad for leaving him down at the space port... only for Eli to then get back to his shuttle with literal thoughts of slaughter on his mind. Like damn it takes some skill to make Eli this mad.

In recent news, Thrawn is still an absolute riot.

My heart goes out to Faro, every time she thinks she's catching up to Thrawn he just comes up with an even more insane plan and she ages ten years on the spot. Like 'we're going to fight Savit now but I'm not even gonna be here, also I left you some instructions on your Ipad :)' '???? Sir????'

My sympathies to the poor stormtroopers who had to watch Thrawn and literally thought he was joking when he said he was going to the bridge. They literally went 'yeah sure you will buddy- wait where did he go?!?'

Cue Savit having an aneurism when he finds him there. (You cannot tell me this man isn't having the time of his life in that moment. Huge 'little shit' energy right there. And I respect that.)

Imagine the Firedrake crew just minding their own business and Grand Fucking Admiral Thrawn walks by without any escort whatsoever like 'Hello :)' '???? Can I help you, sir????' 'No, I know my way around :)) Thank you :)'

TIE Defender supremacy. Stardust sucks.

Half of this book was big ships yeeting smaller ships at other big ships. No, I will not elaborate.

The other half was Thrawn and Ar'alani going back and forth like 'Thrawn no!! >:((' 'Thrawn yes! :))' 'sigh... fine.'

Also, can we talk about how hilariously petty the Chiss are?? ...I am so on board with that.

Knowing how bad Thrawn is at these political games, it's no wonder he's cool chilling with the Empire for now. I mean, the Empire is bad but the Chiss sound even worse. My man just wants to solve space mysteries, let him be.

Savit having another aneurysm while waiting for Ronan to catch up to him and Thrawn in the beginning of the book. Meanwhile Ronan living his best life walking down the runway with his stupid little cape

Chiss are genetically predisposed to being little shits, I'm not joking that's just facts.

"Have you found the target? If not, I suggest you put thoughts of entertainment out of your mind and concentrate on the task at hand." "Yes, sir." Tanik straightened in his chair. "Oh, wait, sir," he said with exaggerated brightness. "I stand corrected. Admiral, we have them." (SEE? SEE WHAT I MEAN??)

Tanik literally smiling at his station because he's gonna spill the tea about Khresh having a little tantrum to all his besties at home, what a legend.

Eli: Man, I want some one-on-one time with Thrawn. Also Eli when he gets some one-on-one time with Thrawn: Oh fuck, am I in trouble-

"Perhaps. But I believe you were suggesting a shift to turbolaser fire?" "A shift to-? Oh. No, actually, I was being facetious." "Ah." PFFFFFT

Okay I'm done. For now.

[lesmurples]

I rewatched season 1 of Our Flag Means Death after getting bored with Veilguard, and I was surprised by how many similar character types and themes the two (loosely) share:

Therapy-speak loving mediator as the leader of a ragtag group of mismatched weirdos

A character realizing their nonbinary identity

Background elements of colonialism/imperialism and slavery which our intrepid heroes must resist

Queer found family vibes (tho with DATV the queerness is mostly incidental and does not seem to inform the characterizations much)

Pirates are there

Except while these are some of my favorite aspects of OFMD, I despise how they’re executed in DATV. The overwhelming corporate stink on Veilguard really interferes with the writing’s ability to talk about queer or anti-colonial themes meaningfully.

Comparing the two has actually helped me work through what it is that bothers me about the lackluster character writing of Veilguard and how it could have been better (besides, yaknow, comparing it against the much better-written previous games - they were far from perfect, but god Veilguard makes them look amazing by comparison). To be fair, I’ve yet to finish the game, but I’m privy to like, 50 hours worth of content at this point between playing myself and watching my sister’s playthrough, so if the game finally improves on these points after that long it feels like too little too late.

If you want to read a waaaay too long screed comparing these largely unalike properties, then boy oh boy is this the post for you!

1. The therapy speak:

So uh, the thing about OFMD’s anachronistic, HR-approved managerial therapy speak is that it’s a joke. OFMD is a comedy first and foremost, so this fits right in with the overall tone of the show, and it’s pretty damn funny if I say so myself. Watching Stede - this campy, middle-aged, 18th century theater kid - tell a bunch of hardened pirates to talk through their feelings is hilarious. And really all it does is alienate him most of the cast - the first episode is about his crew planning to mutiny and kill him as a result of his bizarre behavior.

But, as time goes on and Stede and the crew work through hardships and get to know each other a little better, they form a bond of trust and learn how to communicate more effectively. Stede still tries to mediate and resolve conflicts peacefully among the crew, but more directly and with less artifice, while the crew grows more patient with him and realizes the potential benefit of some of his ideas. It’s pretty basic character progression writing overall, but it’s competently executed, which is more than I can say for Veilguard.

In Veilguard, Rook’s youth pastor energy as they mediate every petty squabble between their teammates casts a bland veneer over a deeply bland cast of characters. Disregarding the fact that Rook is the most milquetoast DA protagonist by far, their involvement in every character interaction leaves me feeling like I’m meeting with HR, and not in a funny way. And Rook seems to attract HR-approved pep talks just as much as they dole them out, particularly from Varric but also from Solas and Morrigan of all people. It’s pep talks all the way down!

Where this flavor of therapy speak was used with intention in OFMD to say something about the characters (and to get a laugh), here its purpose just seems to be to nip all interpersonal conflicts in the bud so our cast can be a big happy family. Teamwork! Yay! Except we started with everyone on the team being more-or-less cordial coworkers, and then we end on them being… more cordial? A bit friendlier? There’s no meaningful progression for the audience to enjoy, no real change. Every argument starts bland and it ends bland, and the few that are allowed to continue through companion dialogue are so inconsequential as to be pointless.

The previous DA games had an obvious fix for this: make the characters socially and politically opposed to each other and let them duke it out, all while having to maintain an alliance against a common enemy. The player could get in on this too if they disagreed with someone - twas a grand time. These interpersonal conflicts were a microcosm of the larger political conflicts of the story, and it allowed the characters to explore the influence of their respective cultures upon their current viewpoints. The progression and tension thus hinged on whether the influence of other characters was able to change their perspective, and if it did, what the consequences would be. A somewhat different emphasis when compared to OFMD, but both understand that allowing your characters to come into conflict with each other and resolve it over time is far more engaging than fixing every little issue right off the bat. This isn’t a sitcom where we need to resolve family tensions before the half-hour mark - it’s an 80+ hour game.

(oh god i swear i’ll try not to make every entry this long)

2. The nonbinary identity storyline:

Alright, there is one thing I like about Veilguard (shocking I know), and it’s the option to be trans/nonbinary. I’m nonbinary and have never played an rpg where that was an option before, so that was pretty dope. I think Bioware’s approach to nonbinary and trans inclusion in the character creator was fairly well done and reasonably flexible - definitely better than the trans options in Cyberpunk at any rate. I also like that we have a nonbinary companion, especially since I totally called it when Taash was revealed and felt super smart and vindicated. The execution of Taash’s nonbinary journey though… eh. It’s mostly left me kinda cold.

I won’t be the first to state that the use of modern terminology for nonbinary gender identity is offputting in this setting, and others have explained it far better than I could. It’s a missed opportunity to think through the question of what gender really means in this setting across different cultures (beyond some lip-service to the Qunari being strict about it, which besides being a retcon doesn’t really tell us much), and whether there are existing nonbinary spaces that would potentially align with Taash’s experience of the world, rather than having one transplanted from our modern sensibility. Third genders have existed irl throughout history and are embedded within cultural understandings of gender, and interpreting Taash’s gender through a more historical and/or speculative mode that better fit the setting would feel far less alienating. As it is, Taash’s story just doesn’t seem to fit comfortably in this world, not least because we’re having them discover their identity rather than already have an understanding of it. Their self-discovery story feels out of place in a narrative focused on a high-stakes, end of the world scenario, unless I’m missing something. It reads more like a fanfic that was accidentally tacked onto the source material. (I love fanfic, but the tone just doesn’t mesh here.)

This is perhaps why the writers felt the need to connect Taash’s gender journey with their bicultural experience, which… hoo boy, that didn’t go well. We have to make a binary choice for which of a nonbinary character’s cultural ties should be discarded? Disregarding the fact that this is not how culture fucking works, why are we making this decision for another person? This is the Cole situation all over again, but worse.

Our Flag Means Death, on the other hand, gives us Jim. Jim has lived most of their life presenting as an AFAB woman, but when the show starts is in hiding as a cis man with a fake nose and beard. After their disguise is revealed, Jim goes through the awkward process of addressing the cis dude-heavy crew’s inane questions about them “being a woman now,” indicating that they’re not really sure if they are one. They tell the rest of the crew to treat them like normal and continue calling them Jim, and that’s that. From then on, they’re referred to with they/them pronouns - maybe they had a talk with everyone about it off-screen, or maybe the show wanted to lean on a sort-of magical realism vibe where everyone just knows Jim goes by those pronouns now. Either way, it fits within the tone of the show and doesn’t need to take up much more space than that. We later see where Jim grew up and learn about their background getting trained by an assassin-nun to murder her family’s killers - we got bigger fish to fry.

Does every queer identity story need to be handled like this? Of course not - there’s space for a range of queer stories, whether the queerness be incidental or integral, discovered or established. In OFMD’s case, they perhaps could have spoken more about Jim’s nonbinary experience and how it fits into the setting, but they didn’t really need to. They established what they wanted to about Jim’s identity, and they decided not to go into the issue of misgendering from that point forward. I personally like how normalized it makes Jim’s presence feel, even if they perhaps could have done more. But OFMD is a limited series about a large ensemble cast of different queer folks, and they chose to be economical about how some of those queer identities were communicated onscreen.

Dragon Age is likewise made up with an ensemble cast, and considering its high stakes end-of-the-world plot line, maybe it should’ve taken a leaf out of OFMD’s book and not spent quite so much time on Taash’s personal gender journey when we could’ve focused on something a bit more outwardly relevant (a big ask for Veilguard’s very personalized, individualistic style of character writing). We could have certainly related their sideplot back to their gender, but there had to be a better middle ground than what we got.

Anyway, while OFMD is fairly comfortable with anachronism, limiting the explanatory dialogue for Jim and other characters’ identities probably also helped to not break immersion. Bioware likely didn’t want to go this route for Taash, but if I might make a suggestion for our consideration: Krem. Krem was a great example of an integrated trans character who talked about his experience through the context of the culture he grew up in. Turns out, it’s very doable, and in a Dragon Age game no less.

(oh god they’re all going to be this long aren’t they, what have i done)

3. Background colonialism/imperialism and slavery:

Something that Veilguard and OFMD have in common is that the wider context of colonization, imperial conquest, and slavery that each story takes place in is more-or-less kept to the background. The characters and plots are certainly informed by this context, but the main storylines don’t often engage with it directly. And herein lies the problem: this is arguably an appropriate approach for OFMD given its comedic tone, while for Dragon Age - considering that its previous installments engaged very directly with these themes - it reeks of erasure and sanitization.

Hell, OFMD engages far more directly and frequently with these themes than Veilguard’s bloated, 80+ hour runtime, and it’s a 2-season long TV show! It’s 20 hours total at most! It explores the heterosexism of settler colonialism that chased a very gay Stede away from home, the racism and classism of the English naval crew they encounter, the power and constant threat of colonial fleets, the fact that colonizers have been slaughtering indigenous peoples, the presence and mistreatment of African slaves, and so on. They do this all while avoiding direct depictions of traumatic colonial violence, but they don’t shy away from its presence.

This has been argued to death by the community at this point, so I’ll try not to go too far into it, but Dragon Age as a series has always been interested in sociopolitical conflict and systemic oppression. It pulls quite a lot of influence from real-life history - one could say too much, perhaps - to create a fantasy world informed predominantly by the sociological forces of hierarchical society.

Past games have struggled to portray DA’s analogies for real-life racism unproblematically, but I don’t think the answer was to cast them aside or minimize their presence in Veilguard. This only trivializes the systemic oppression of this world retroactively; elven enslavement and oppression (especially in Tevinter) and Tal Vashoth and Qunari as otherized minorities are barely a blip on the radar of the game that is a) heavily focused on Solas’s past as a freer of elven slaves and b) set in goddamn Tevinter, where both elven enslavement is widespread and a longstanding war with the Qunari is still ongoing.

Yes, these story elements been handled poorly in the past, particularly with how elves mirror both African enslavement and Indigenous oppression in a way that creates unfortunate connotations when written carelessly, and how the Qunari have orientalist, Islamophobic undertones. They should not be portrayed through violent, traumatic scenes or within the same problematic scope as previous games, but they should not have been minimized to the extent that they were. It’s a structural writing issue if nothing else - the foundations of Dragon Age’s worldbuilding rely so heavily upon these forms of systemic oppression that removing and minimizing them makes the story incoherent. These elements cannot be written out of the story without completely transforming it, and because they were not willing to do that with Veilguard, we’re left with a gutted husk of a story missing most of its core elements.

Couldn’t we have just, you know, hired some sensitivity readers? Or - god forbid - BIPOC writers? Christ.

4. Queer found family vibes:

This one is bit of a stretch since the characters of Veilguard are not brought together through shared experiences of queerness; rather, they are collected randomly like Pokemon from all over the globe for their dubious skills. However, I do believe the writers are clumsily implementing found family tropes whenever you gather your team together, and they are all queer by default so that Rook can fuck them no matter what. At least that Dragon Age staple was respected if nothing else - The Characters Must Be Fuckable.

But I do think this is why we’ve been saddled with all this corporate HR team-building therapy-speak throughout the game: someone on the writing team thought this is how you write that found family thing the kids these days are so crazy about. Everyone’s super supportive all the time, no one fights too much, and when they do your character steps in to correct them (you do not get a choice in this - all of your dialogue options as Rook are effectively the same mediating bullshit). They’re all growing into a happy little family, and isn’t that sweet. Except that none of these characters are fully fleshed out because that would require giving them backgrounds that connect to the story’s wider lore and worldbuilding, and the writing team were either unwilling to do this or incapable because of production restraints. So it’s really just a bland group of pretty people being blandly nice or blandly rude to each other all throughout this bland, bloated game.

All that said, maybe we could’ve had a (queer) found family at the center of this game and actually made it work. There’s no law that says there have to be people on your Dragon Age team who will never get along or are too politically opposed to ever see eye to eye (even though I vastly prefer that in a DA story and think it reflects the series’ themes better *cough*). Absolution did a decent job of it from what I remember, though I think there were still a few conflicts between the members of that team that were used to communicate worldbuilding to us - that’s what character conflicts in Dragon Age mostly do. That is the narrative function they serve, and it’s not surprising to me that in a game with minimized companion conflicts, we likewise find minimized overall worldbuilding with respect to the various cultures of the current setting.

Anyway.

To be fair to Veilguard, I do not think we needed everyone’s entire life story in order to successfully execute the found family trope. Take Our Flag Means Death - the only character we really get much backstory for is Stede, with Jim coming in second at my estimation, and Blackbeard third. You don’t really find out that much about their histories overall, and you learn barely anything about the rest of the crew. For example, we know Lucius used to lie to his mother that he liked girls and was a bit of a pickpocket, which was not cute - and that’s all we get for him. We can infer that he was probably upper crust to a degree since he’s literate (and just from his overall vibe), but that’s about it, and the other characters are much the same.

The thing is, while I would welcome more information about the OFMD crew, I don’t actually need it. The characters are portrayed in such a way that you can infer most of what you need to know about them through the actor’s overall performance. OFMD was blessed with a wonderful cast who do an excellent job acting both scripted lines and the heavy amount of improv that was encouraged on set. Their character voices are finely honed and well-delivered, and so I’m able to get a strong sense of who these characters are, what motivates them, and how they relate with each other through their well-executed sense of voice.

Veilguard struggles quite heavily with character voice. The companions as written have some distinct qualities, but they never really have much life behind them. Davrin comes the closest to having a naturalistic voice, and I think it’s because he’s a self-serious straight man (comedically, not heterosexually). The rest of the cast relies on much more exaggerated and whimsical character tropes - a noir detective, a quirky gadget whizz, a perky necromancer, etc. - and the character writing just cannot summon level of energy these characters would usually have. We’re given a few fluff scenes with them that are sweet, but outside of that, none of these characters actually have much personality. Taash comes close with their moody teen affect, but it never quite sits well within their character arc, so it often feels incongruous.

And this brings me to my most damning criticism of the game: it is not funny. At all. Okay, maybe that’s not fair - it got a few small chuckles out of me within the 50 or so hours I’ve seen/played, but not more than like, 3 times. These characters just aren’t funny. Taash is kinda funny at first, but it dries up pretty quick. The script is just not capable of consistently good comedy. The only real humor I experienced was from Ghilan’nain acting like a goddamn Looney Toon, which was completely unintentional. Like everything else in Veilguard, the humor is bland, bland, bland.

Previous DA companions are brimming with humor, and it’s a huge part of what makes them so enjoyable. Comedy does a lot of work endearing you to a character, and you can use it in a variety of ways - it can highlight their cleverness, or reveal vulnerabilities and undercut them, or create chemistry or tension between multiple characters, all while giving the audience a sense of surprised pleasure that opens them up to connect with the characters emotionally. With a story as busy and occasionally dark as Dragon Age, using humor helps to quickly endear the audience to your characters and encourage engagement in their stories, while also releasing tension after harsher story beats.

It also works the other way around - when tragedy comes or characters are made to suffer, it can hit that much harder because you’ve become so endeared to them. When the Grey Wardens fail to halt the blight at Ostagar in Origins and are all but wiped out, the sense of loss is best communicated through Alistair, who up until this point has been a friendly, wise-cracking presence at your side. Seeing his grief and sense of despair in contrast to his usual good humor signals what’s been lost better than just being told, and because we are (assumedly) endeared to Alistair through his humorous attitude, we can empathize with his struggle and feel the weight of this story beat more effectively. It’s also shockingly, darkly funny when Morrigan is completely unsympathetic and later calls him a whiny pissbaby for missing all his dead friends. This helps to transition us out of the previous scene’s lower mood, and it tells us a lot about her character and her dynamic with Alistair.

And humor is an extremely valuable tool in executing the (queer) found family trope. Humor not only does a lot of work for characterization (especially with a larger ensemble cast), but it can also signal comfort and trust between characters, as well as highlight tensions without fully compromising the feeling of security offered by the found family. If tragedy strikes, it then offers a contrast against the usual comedic tone that can emphasize a scene’s drama to good effect. Humor isn’t absolutely necessary to pull this off, but it’s highly effective at establishing characters and their relationships quickly and enjoyably, and so it can be a valuable tool for large casts and plot-heavy stories where you have limited time to spend learning about each character.

Comedy is subjective, and so maybe Veilguard’s humor works for you in a way it doesn’t for me. Likewise, maybe the humor of the previous games and even OFMD don’t work for you the way they do for me. However, my main sense of Veilguard is that less investment was put into any comedy writing as versus the previous games. Less time is given for jokes, both in character dialogue and in the outer world, from what I’ve seen of it (I cannot imagine anything like the Golden Nug merchant in Orlais happening in this game). At best we get sorta sarcastic comments from Rook, but even Rook’s “funny” dialogue option only prompts any kind of humorous or sarcastic response like, maybe half the time. The writing staff just did not prioritize humor in this game seemingly at all, either by choice or necessity.

Add to this the lack of character depth and detail with all your companions, and they just have nothing for you to grab onto. They have so much potential with their quirky, surface-level descriptions, but no one did the work to flesh them out or make them engaging. Good humor or a strong character voice could have saved them even with the lack of detail and dimension, but it’s just not there. And because there is no real depth, detail, or good humor to unite the characters with each other, the found family trope falls flat and every interaction just feels like an office event.

If you like queer found family feels and haven’t seen Our Flag Means Death, check it out - highly recommend it. That show nails found family like a fuckin pro, doesn’t even break a sweat. And it’s gay as fuck.

5. Pirates:

Both have pirates. I vastly prefer the OFMD pirates over the Lords of Fortune tho. In case you were wondering.

OKAY. This insanely long post must end. It started as a thought experiment to see what we could learn from OFMD’s successes and if they could be applied to Veilguard, and then it turned into me giving unsolicited writing advice. All I can really add is to tell you that any time I’m playing or watching Veilguard, I’d rather be watching Our Flag Means Death.

Or playing the other DA games. They were pretty good. Yes, even Inquisition - at least Inquisition was funny.

[theskyexists]

I think its hilarious that Andy Weir made the go-getter administrator who's supposed to organise saving the world Dutch. Stratt is not a Dutch name btw. So maybe German heritage or marriage. The blunt, direct, no nonsense, even unintentionally rude stereotype which is often correct in small ways is a funny little in-joke. I even think he got the speech pattern in English correct....

Wow powerful woman...

I will say this: he didn't find out how to make the astrophage release energy? He found out how they reproduce? So... Why did they say that? Are they just burning these lil dots?

How is the astrophage what it is. How is it not destroyed by pressure and such. And.

Why in the heck would they swerve around going from a CO2 rich planet back to the sun... Is that really more efficient than simply covering a planet in yourself and being a plant basically?

Ok so he did find out how the astrophage release energy, as in, move themselves with light.

What's the problem with the sun dimming if Eridians don't get any energy from the sun?/sunlight doesn't reach them?

Oh I actually felt so sad for Leclerc, when he cried.

And I love Stratt so much lol. Who was bright enough to put her in charge. She's the perfect 'war'-time leader. Completely selfless.

Oh. Im so sad for rocky. 46 years. Oh no...oh no.

Oh Stratt was being sexist... That's not realist. Will Weir refute her via Ryland? Yeah he did. Hah. That's cool.

Its weird that Rocky hasn't considered: if I am no longer in my workshop, then I won't be protected from radiation.

Did they not test the teams/teammates for psychological compatibility???? Oversight

I dont really get how they can catch astrophage without getting blasted apart by their insane speeds hopping from planet to sun and back.

"Life can be pretty picky about temperature ranges."

EXCEPT ASTROPHAGE? and all the other cells in the cold vacuum of space?? They just skipped over them. Hello??? What's their secret? Do they also smash neutrinos together or whatever?? I couldn't follow that physics bit

Aww. The team all liked him so much because he's so normal and easily upset by e.g. their approaching deaths.

I'm a bit worried that Weir is going to prove Stratts sexism right by having Shapiro and DeBois back out because she got pregnant or something. But that's really not in line with the vibe so maybe they just both get killed because of their entanglement... I still wouldn't like that. Honestly Stratt's throwback to 'two men one woman sex will make advanced astronauts revert to cavemen' seems like a deliberate callback to all those sci fi books that insist on the inherent murderous explosiveness of male sexuality.

'math is procedure [not thinking]' uh yeah it is biologically.

Weir shunting in a lil personal theory on intelligence being based on gravity. Interesting. But the reason why Rocky and protag are same intelligence is the same reason their civilisations are about as advanced: they wouldn't otherwise have met.

It's hilarious that Ryland is like: I miss my kids they looked up to me. EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD PROBABLY LOOKS UP TO YOU RIGHT NOW MY MAN

Yeah. At the last possible moment, astrophage exploded the place that Shapiro and DeBois were in. Damn. Ok but its kinda on Stratt TO BE HONEST. That she let prime crew role member and same secondary crew role member hang around the same place together at all. In a way.

This seems to imply that they left Shapiro and DuBois to do an experiment on ASTROPHAGE TOGETHER. what??? That they cause the explosion even.

Why let the science crew at an astrophage at all? WHY LET THEM AT IT TOGETHER??? HELLO????

honestly why was Stratt so lax about all primary personnel safety all along including herself?? Why was she on the airplane carrier that was doing experiments with bombs????

Ok but how the HELL did astrophage develop these abilities????

Also. Why. Uh. Why bother with a natural predator if you can just prick em. Aren't there lots of creatures that can prick other cells. Though probably not in nigh-vacuum...

How did they make a spaceship without electronics.... ...huh??? How does the robot work on the outside of Rocky's ship? ....what

Ok so they don't have procedures for testing astrophage. BUT ALSO WHY WERE BOTH ESSENTIAL CREW MEMBERS IN THE SAME ROLE TESTING EDGE CASES??? HELLO???? HOW WAS THAT ALLOWED??? HELLO???? STRATT????

Ok but she kept a tertiary science specialist then i guess she kept tertiary other specialists. But also. The narrative acts like she had no part and final responsibility in letting her specialists do dangerous ass stupid tests. Like there aren't a hundred other people they could have gotten to do TESTS AWAY FROM THE IMPORTANT CREW

Why would you wait for his answer. Just get the next in line out NOW.

In fact. Why the heck wouldn't they train up at least six understudies. Theatre shows even do that. This narrative development was the one I was reading towards and it turned out stupid.

Also. They got a biologist for tests, an engineer for maintenance, and a commander. Was the commander the navigator and maths guy? Or are all astronauts supposed to be able to do what Grace does? Complex space calculations? Like. Lucky he remained in form firstly and secondly that hes so gifted at physics????? He's a biologist right? But I guess also a physicist?

Stratt doesn't respect Grace? Even now? Then she is kind of an idiot after all. Like all very strong-minded people are ... Too convinced of herself. She relied on Grace for a huge part. And she doesn't respect him? Because she herself could never be a coward. That's idiotic. She cannot forgive cowardice because she herself finds it much easier than others to be ruthless.

I could accept this twist a little more if the leadup had made more sense. Stratt is murdering Grace for sure - but the narrative insult of her having been able to prevent that by explicitly training up additional crews instead of quietly training Grace PLUS doing a better job of keeping the prime crew from STUPID DANGEROUS EXPERIMENTS - and the actual insult of calling him a COWARD while doing it - that's like. That was their last interaction. Makes me feel vindictive. Hope she regrets it. She wouldn't regret sending him against his will. But the damn insult to somebody who she has worked closely with, who delivered extremely important discoveries, who did every single secondary administration.

Ok so. And important point of Grace for Rocky was that he had science equipment. But now Grace is like: eh. Rocky can make better equipment. Why didn't Rocky think of that lol

On the other hand Grace HAS proven to be kind of a reckless idiot again and again and again.

Right they've got electronics but not transistors. Right.

I feel like Weir should have spent a little more flashback on Grace bonding with his 'crew' and 'friends'.

Why the FUCK would you send out your beetles while on the trip. Send them out before you start on the risky way home. Why is Grace such an idiot.

Stratt goes to talk to Grace. I don't know I've soured on her. Not because of what she chose to do to Grace but the way she did it.

She doesn't even leave him in fucking peace

Ok so I don't like how Weir did this scene either. It didn't give Grace a moment of grace. And it didn't give Stratt the chance to say: well the good thing about you going is that you won't be here when everything is going to hell. Think about that.

Why are the taumoeba farms manually fed...? Didn't Grace want the option of going into coma...?

HE WENT BACK TO ROCKY AND HE WENT BACK TO SAVE ERID AND ROCKY COULD BARELY SPEAK OR BELIEVE IT GRACE CAME BACK WHEN ROCKY THOUGH ABSOLUTELY ALL HOPE WAS LOST

Taumoeba are like normal amoeba...ok. but then why is it the only thing that can eat astrophage

He did it. And Earth doesn't even know that he did it. That he did it alone. Or that he met aliens, and they worked together to do it. He probably didn't even write it down and put it on the beetle. None of it. (Because he's kind of an idiot). Like. He probably didn't even tell them about the aliens!!!! Come on!!!! Anyway he's teaching little aliens.... Lovely

[olithetalker]

It's not so much a dislike of Uma but a dislike of how two-faced the fandom is. If Mal had done half of what Uma had done in the last two movies, she'd have been ripped to shreds by the fandom.

Because we both know if the positions had been reversed, and it'd been Mal holding the ember hostage and Uma begging for it back, the fandom would have been eviscerating Mal to this day just like they do with the damn cookie that was only done in a last-ditch attempt anyway.

Or if Mal had abandoned her gang on the Isle for an undisclosed period of time, the fandom would be crying about how easily Evie, Jay, and Carlos forgave her yet with Uma, if you point that out, you're treated with 'she was looking for a way to break the barrier'. Really? It really looked like she was looking to break the barrier when she was dancing with the King she spelled (who not even 15 minutes later was agreeing to a list of kids to bring off the Isle even though he'd been love spelled twice in six months).

But no, we have to sit and bite our tongues and watch our favorite character get ripped to shreds if she dares sneezes wrong but a 'fan favorite' can literally hold the item needed to protect Auradon hostage and all the fandom can say is 'go queen'.

I think we might just have to agree to disagree here my friend. I do think Mal is awful while Uma is ok, and you think they are more even.

But saying Uma abandoned her crew on the isle... I mean the whole reason she was going out *is* to set them free? That is literally just what happened? She even uses the ember to ensure Mal will set *every* child free, not just her and her crew.

Her dancing with Ben is kinda a part of being his date to the cotillion? The whole plan comes as a package.

I used to like Mal a lot and had issues with Uma. I found her love spelling of Ben more troubling than Mal's, but the Mal critics weren't wrong when they say that's because Uma's is rightfully presented with the seriousness it should be, while Mal's is portrayed as Ben being drugged being a funny and silly joke. Which also means Audrey's boyfriend cheating on her against his will and her having no idea that he wasn't meaning to do it is presented as hilarious while when Mal was led to think Ben had simply moved on over her is presented as something tragic. If there are double standards, it certainly isn't in Uma's favour.

And Uma gave the ember back to Mal later on. She just didn't trust her that she would do as promised, and I mean... She was right? Mal was planning on locking the isle kids on the isle with their abusive parents for the rest of their lives.

[ladyoriza]

Isadora Marie Toren Desoto Von Valancius

Went to an Alexander Mcqueen exhibit at my local art museum yesterday. I've adored that house for years, and so many pieces screamed Izzy's name to me. I find it a little hard to dress her in the Warhammer 40k verse- so much Rococo and Military influence within the nobility that just. Isn't her, the elegant Romantic Goth she and her mother are.

Within that I found a thread tied to the Iconoclast she is- of course she doesn't dress like typical 40k nobility, she isn't one. She's not even from that universe, her reality-bending mom sent her to clean up another of Grandfather Nyarlyothotep's messes, and that required that Izzy be in a position of great power to do so. Bringing with her anachronistic ideals and fashion sense. (Granted- I don't think an Iconoclast Trader could even exist naturally in the 40k verse due to it's nature, but since we've been given the sandbox we can do whatever we want forever).

So therein lies the contrast between the bombastic sides of Heretic and Dogmatic. Away from Incendia or Calligos' frills and finery- Isadora Marie in simple elegance. To shorten the gap between herself and the others, really I think she only ever goes all out for the Ascension ceremony and even that's more the top and bottom images on the left. Plus she just looks good in black.

The constant worship from her crew feels alien and wrong to her, she wants desperately to say that she's Von Valancius by luck and not providence, but that would be a lie. Which makes Kunrad's insistence that she's not the true heir hilarious because he doesn't even realize he's correct. He's just being a bitch and accidentally got the right answer. Not that it would help him since she's pretty damn powerful on her own, being the daughter of a reality bender and all.

Anyway soon I will delve into how she tore open the warp on Comorragh without needing to shoot that veil device.

("Tell Calcazar," She said coldly to Heinrix, "That that was how I survived all those Xenos attacks".)