#all the DAMN crew found it hilarious

[poedays]

Redactedtober 2024

Day Twelve: Dealer’s Choice

Gavin and Darlin’

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GAVIN AND TANK HOOKED UP PRE-QUINN

—- —- —-

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[bumblingbabooshka]

"Everything you went through was meaningless." [St Voyager S3 E7: 'Sacred Ground']

[pinkanonwrites]

HANDS-ON LEARNING

Read 'Handle With Care' here!

Rodimus/Human Reader, NSFW, First Contact AU, AFAB Reader, GN Pronouns, G/T, Experimental Sex, Fingering, Oral (Receiving)

Since this is a First Contact fic, dialogue that is both bold and italicized are words that both the reader and Rodimus understand.

NSFW UNDER THE CUT!

Of all the ideas you'd had over the course of your life, this had to be one of the worst.

Granted, it wasn't as bad as trying to follow the blinking light into the woods after your car broke down, only to end up abducted by aliens. But it was pretty high up there.

But between said abduction and your ensuing rescue by the gigantic alien robots and the spaceship they called home, you hadn't exactly had a lot of time to yourself. And after days melted into weeks and you eventually began to lose track of how long it had been since you had been plucked from Earth, you were starting to get a little… wound up.

Most days were spent in between the massive metal fingers of a robot that you were pretty sure was named Rodimus as he shuttled you from room to room and presented you to his fellow crew members like a first-grader showing off their new pet hamster. But despite the glaring communication barrier and the ever-present threat of being squashed under foot, Rodimus was very careful with you. He made sure you were safe and comfortable, never picked you up without letting you know ahead of time, and did his best to communicate simple thoughts and ideas with you through hilarious, size-difference charades. It could be a little awkward sometimes, but he was nice! It was nice.

And then, about a week ago, Rodimus accidentally made you cum so hard you almost blacked out. And you couldn't stop thinking about it.

But honestly, how were you supposed to stop thinking about it? Sure, it was an accident, (or you were pretty sure it was, at least. Giant robot charades isn't always a perfect system) but it was an accident that refused to leave your mind. When Rodimus would lay on his big slab of metal to sleep, or recharge his batteries, or whatever it was that giant robots did at bedtime, you'd be lying awake in the little habitat he'd built for you out of his desk craving the sensation of sitting on the world's best and most attentive washing machine and letting the vibrations spark stars behind your eyelids.

So maybe it was a bit stupid, and horny, and frankly desperate to search out that feeling again from a guy four times your size who could crush you in his hand like a grape if he ever wanted to. But God damn if it wouldn't be worth it.

So that's how you found yourself in the position you are now. Naked, sprawled back against the surface of the desk with one of Rodimus's massive hands cradling your upper body, and a giant finger from the other tracing up the inner curve of your thigh. He seemed almost enchanted by the way your goosebumps rippled to the surface beneath his touch, letting out a pleased, mechanical warble.

He seemed to adore your softness compared to the rigid metal of his own skin, as Rodimus liked to squish you quite a bit. Never enough to hurt, just enough to feel the warm press of your skin between the joints of his fingers and hands, or to drag a curious fingertip down your cheek. But there was a particular meekness with the way he touched you right now, like he was only just realizing how easy it would be for him to hurt you. It was painfully sweet, and if you weren't absolutely aching for something more right now you may have been content to let him continue his gentle fondling.

"C'mon, big guy." You murmured instead, resting your hand around his wrist and pulling him up closer to the apex of your thighs. He let out a soft, surprised revving sound at your boldness, glancing at your face a few times before finally pressing the top of his finger up between your thighs, lying flush against your folds. If you had to compare the sensation, you'd say the feeling of leaning a little too far forward on a motorcycle seat was similar. It was warm, rumbling, pressing up against all the right places, but not quite enough to get you anywhere you really wanted. Still, you couldn't stifle your shaky moan, and that seemed to really get him going.

"Yes?..." He all but purred, one of the few words you had actually managed to learn between the two of you. The pointed chevron of his brow seemed to quirk up a bit on one side as he glanced down at his thick finger between your legs before back up to your gaze.

"Yes. It's good, I just… want more." You knew he couldn't understand your words, but the slow roll of your hips and the slick coating of your arousal over his knuckle seemed to get the message across just fine. He rocked his finger up against you, wet with your drooling heat as the jut of the joint slid up and over your clit again, and again, and again. Still slow, yes, but almost painfully good. Your hips jerked towards the sensation and he cooed, engine rumbling louder to course vibrations up through your aching cunt.

He murmured your name, or the best that he could approximate in his echoey, mechanical trill. From the hand cradling your upper body his massive thumb slid forward, dragging along the curve of your jaw and down to the jut of your collarbone with a delicate curiosity. Panting, you let yourself melt into his touch, rolling your hips against his other hand and shuddering at every other press that seemed to hit just the right spot. Fuck, this was good. Better than good, you felt like your brain was going to melt out of your ears, molten heat pooling low in your stomach as a pleasant buzz of arousal seemed to crawl through your muscles and out to the tips of your fingers and toes. It was probably way too early to be cumming, but you'd been pent-up for far too long already and the relentless vibrations only pushed you higher and higher, a rubber band threatening to snap as you gasped and shuddered and tossed your head back against Rodimus's enormous metal palm.

It was all you could do to keep your feet from kicking out as your orgasm washed over you, the aching clench of your cunt around nothing making you whine as his fingers slowed to a lazy, comfortable stroking. You blinked blearily up at him, a look of incredibly sly pride on his face as you went limp and content in his palm.

"Fuck, Rodimus." You groaned. It startled you, the sheer volume of his engine's snarl in response to your simple, fucked-out sigh of his name. But more surprising was the sudden press of two blunt fingers against your messy hole, slippery with your own arousal as they tried to work their way into you. "W-Wait! Rodimus, fuck, it's not gonna fi-MMGH!?"

With a wet pop, the tips of his two massive fingers slipped into your still-twitching cunt, stretching you wider than you'd ever been before. Even one of his fingers was more than big enough for you, but he somehow fit two? Your entire body trembled as you flopped back, slave to the impossible stretch and press of unrelenting metal against your most sensitive spots. Whimpers and groans were forced from your body with each minute flex and press of his fingers deeper, deeper, scraping spots you could never reach with your own two hands and stuffing you so full you felt like you couldn't breathe in properly. The heat that had only just receded was building again, impossibly quick, a tingling jolt underneath your skin that made the muscles of your legs twitch and kick outside of your own control as your mind struggled between spearing yourself further on this impossible stretch or wriggling helplessly away.

He was talking again, an incomprehensible clutter of mechanized boops and whirrs that you only barely managed to process in your pleasure-drunk mind. Then, with a sudden rush of motion and swoop of your stomach with the G-force, you were cradled off of the table with his free hand and held up to his face. There was a glow to his cheeks, a bead of liquid trailing down the side of his helmet as he gazed down at you. Robots could blush? And sweat? Apparently this one could, a gush of warm heat rolling over your body as he huffed, mouth hanging slightly open. Behind his giant teeth you could see a peek of a silver-grey tongue, a rippling smooth expanse of rubber and metal-mesh that crept towards you until Rodimus dragged it oh-so-carefully up the length of your cunt.

"FUCK!" You wailed, hands scrabbling for purchase against the joints and bends of Rodimus's hand as he swept his massive tongue between your folds. He let out a low, growling groan at the taste, burying his face between your thighs as he stroked and massaged your pulsing clit with the tip of his tongue. His fingers kept working, curling up towards your stomach on each thrust as you sobbed, abandoning your grip on his hand to clutch to the yellow chevron on his brow like your life depended on it. Your head was swimming, buzzing so intensely with heat that you could barely form a thought beyond the deep, impending well of your next orgasm. It pulsed from so deeply within you, a relentless wall of pleasure rushing towards you faster than you could prepare yourself for. All you could do was cling desperately to Rodimus's brow and hold on for the ride, sobbing and gasping and shivering as it crept ever higher, warmth blossoming out from your cunt and crawling across your shaky frame as pleasure exploded behind your eyelids. You wailed his name again, barely comprehensible, as each press of his fingers forced a gush of slick from your quivering hole and spattered into his giant palm. As quickly as it came his tongue swept it gently away, fingers slowing and letting out a low, melodic hum as your wails and moans trailed off into soft, sniffly whimpers. Finally, finally, after what felt like an eternity but couldn't have been more than a minute at most, he began to lower you carefully back down onto the desk, thumb rubbing a tear from your cheek as he pulled his fingers from your puffy, overworked cunt.

He cooed your name again, cradling your body in both palms. "Good?" He murmured, warmth from his metal palms seeping directly into your sweaty skin and aching muscles. You heaved another shaky breath, unable to form words so you instead shot the giant mech a wavering thumbs-up. In any other scenario that may have been a cripplingly embarrassing response to what was possibly the best orgasm of your life, but it pulled a beaming smile to Rodimus's face regardless.

In a few minutes the tacky feel of slick and sweat and robot saliva drying on your skin would begin to border on intolerable, and you knew you'd eventually have to rise to fawn-like legs and stumble to clean yourself up. But for now you were more than happy to lay sprawled in your giant companion's grasp.

Hell, maybe he'd even help you take a bath, too. After all, it's not like you had anything left to hide.

[thoughtsonkm]

Hot spring buddies

It was a perfect balance of a fun episode but with a lot of domesticity and quirks and all around softness. Their day to day life when they finally found some free time is truly so peaceful and harmonious. They're just attuned to each other. Mischievousness and teasing is always present, they just can't get enough of having fun together.

Where?! Who?! You been where?! With who?!

JK was like: "Excuse me? You went with MY friends? Not ME? What am I chopped liver? 7 years ago you say? OK FINE

GODDAMMIT it's criminal to not do a original song together! It's criminal to not do an album together! Criminal offense! Judge lock em' up!

And Jimin lulling Jungkook to sleep..ah that angel voice 🥹

~

"This is our last moment of relaxation" - JK 😭 😭 (I know everything going on was looming on their minds obviously but their hunger to enjoy and live to the fullest until the last minute makes me emo)

~

NAH the damn haircut 😂 The way he has perfected the boba ball cut. The juxtaposition of his face/hair with his body is so funyyyy.

*Going to the hair stylist* JK: so.. I did a thing Stylist: fuck, okay let me think, I CAN FIX THIS

~

He brought his cards cause he wanted to play only with Jimin since CT. Why do they have to be so adorable about these little supposedly insignificant details 😭

~

Look at us. Look how far we've come. Who would've thought?

Okay testosterone calm down, OR DON'T (This was low-key hilarious af tho tbh)

I saw ppl hyperventilating because they were suddenly showing too much (Jimin I'm looking at you) but more than that I think it's nice that they were so relaxed and in their own world, so much so, that they didn't really think much about their every movement.

But also they need to stop with the moaning and grouting every 2 sec tho. Like I get it but? cmon

~

Sorry but I live for the little funny details like Jungkook drenching the sea urchin in soy sauce and then putting it in vegetable soup to salvage it.

~

As if you can deny this face anything??

Cause you know there's AYS stash but there's a personal stash too obviously.

Oh twin beds? Let us start our lights foreplay

Jungkook's semi romantic struggles continue. Feed yo man Jimin pls!

The whole ski part of the episode looked so fun. I'm sure they had a blast. This is officially the best activity they've tried during this series.

It was so adorable them continuously falling and getting up. Even the crew kept on falling. The snow must've been so thick.

Snow angel

~

What in the meta shit is happening next week? I'm not ready to see them react to themselves. In the last episode to the first two episodes? Oh they're out for blood. And I know they're not gonna show what we want to see (ASS SLAP) but still those 5 minutes should be fun.

I wish sapporo would last forever. Weeks passed by so quickly. Why is it only one episode left? And then we're never seeing them again until next year (at least we have hobis discharge and the bts eps)

[chaos-chloe]

I apologize cuz this is about to be LONG.

So I was just listening to do I wanna know by the artic monkeys and my imagination just run wild, imagine, the clooless house is throwing a big streamer Halloween party(which is a normal Halloween party it's just that all their friends just happen to be streamers lol), they're all having fun the music is good the alcohol is abundant, lmao, the costumes are amazing and in the heat of the moment (and the alcohol) pezzy decides Its a good idea to start a stream right in the middle of the party without telling everybody, at first it's all fun, people are gathering around the laptop laughing and reading chat, chat can see people(aka droid and reader who's also a streamer) dancing and mingling in the background, then the song comes on(do I wanna know by the artic monkeys) and it's one of readers favorite songs so she stars dancing and singing the song to the closest friend to her that just so happens to be droid, she's sensually dancing around him and on him with her sexy and provocative costume while lip syncing the lyrics just feeling herself eventually droid dances and flirts back, all of this on camera mind you, chat is exploding with surprise and excitement, trying to tell pezzy and the others what's happening behind them, but they're too into their conversation to notice, it's not until droid and reader start making out and another person at the party whistles that they realize what just happened, at that point it's all laughter, surprise and a bit of worry. I am so sorry this was so long🙏🏻😭

Fallen During Halloween

Summary: Relationships were never easy, especially ones that started with a viral kiss and a live-streaming vampire. But with Droid by my side, I knew we could handle anything. And maybe, just maybe, this questionable decision would turn out to be the best one I’d ever made

TW: Friends to Lovers, alcohol consumption, brief dates, kisses, soft love, flirting.

Okay, here we go.

The wings were a pain in the ass, to be honest. Feathered and magnificent, but a guaranteed tripping hazard after a few vodka cranberries. Still, I had to admit, the "fallen angel" look was hitting. My makeup was on point, the dress was just revealing enough, and the Clooless crew were already showering me with compliments as soon as I walked in the door.

"Damn, ____" Puffer boomed, nearly knocking over a bowl of chips in his enthusiasm. "You look like you crawled straight out of a Renaissance painting!"

"Only if that painting was painted by a horny Renaissance artist," I quipped back, winking. "Thanks, Puff. You guys crushed it with the party. What's the theme, 'Streamer Apocalypse'?"

Pezzy, dressed as a surprisingly convincing vampire, handed me a drink. "Just 'good vibes and questionable decisions,' ____. Enjoy."

And I did. The music was loud, the costumes were hilarious (Grizzy as a sentient pickle was a personal highlight), and the booze flowed freely. I mingled, laughed, took pictures, and generally soaked up the chaotic energy of a hundred-plus streamers all in one room.

Later, maybe a little later than I should have, I found myself swaying to the music beside Droid, who was rocking a surprisingly well-done werewolf costume. We’d been friends for ages, always playful and comfortable around each other. He bumped his shoulder playfully against mine.

"Having fun, Fallen One?" he slurred slightly, a grin splitting his furry face.

"Living my best damnation, Werewolf Boy," I slurred back, giggling.

Then, the music shifted. A familiar, sultry guitar riff filled the air. "Do I Wanna Know?" by Arctic Monkeys. My absolute jam. I instinctively started to move, lost in the rhythm. Droid mirrored my movements, and suddenly, we were dancing. Not just playfully bumping and swaying, but dancing. Close. Too close, maybe. But in the best way.

The alcohol, the music, the energy of the party... it all combined into something electric. We were laughing, our bodies brushing with every move, glances lingering a beat too long. It was flirty, fun, until it wasn't. Suddenly, the laughter faded, replaced by a different kind of heat.

His hands moved from my hips to cup my face. My hands went to his neck, fingers tangling in the fake fur of his costume. The air crackled. The playful banter had vanished, replaced with a raw, undeniable pull.

Then, we were kissing.

It wasn't a tentative peck. It was a deep, hungry kiss, fueled by weeks, months, maybe even years of suppressed feelings. My head swam. I could feel the heat radiating off of him, the soft rasp of his stubble against my skin. My grip tightened on his neck, pulling him closer. It felt intoxicating, forbidden, right.

I was vaguely aware of the music, the crowd, the noise, but everything was secondary to the electric connection sparking between Droid and me. I didn't care who saw. Didn't care about the consequences. It was just us, lost in the moment.

And then, a bloodcurdling wolf whistle ripped through the air.

I jolted backward, wrenching myself out of the kiss. Droid stumbled slightly, his eyes wide and dazed. We both turned to see BigPuffer standing by the couch, howling with laughter. And then, I saw it.

The red light.

Pezzy. His dumbass, vampire-face, streamer-brain had decided to live-stream the party from his laptop. And apparently, we’d been the main attraction.

My face flushed crimson. Oh god. The chat. What was the chat saying?

Despite the mortification bubbling in my chest, I couldn't help the giggle that escaped my lips. Droid, equally flustered but clearly amused, started to laugh too. The kiss was incredible, undeniable, but also... profoundly stupid.

"Pezzy, you absolute menace!" I yelled, my voice shaky with laughter and lingering desire.

He just grinned, fangs glinting under the party lights. "Content, ___! Pure, unadulterated content!"

Droid, still holding me steady, leaned close and whispered in my ear, his breath tickling my skin. "So… where were we?"

The embarrassment was still there, but it was overshadowed by a spark of anticipation. Maybe this "questionable decision" was exactly what we both needed. I laughed again, burying my face in the fake fur of his werewolf costume.

"We're going to have so much explaining to do," I murmured, already knowing I was going to love every single minute of it. Even if the entire internet was watching.

The aftermath was, as expected, chaotic. The chat exploded. Twitter trends were born. Even my mom texted me a string of increasingly frantic emojis, ranging from the wide-eyed surprised face to the monkey covering its eyes. Pezzy, predictably, clipped the moment and turned it into a subscriber emote. He’d even managed to get a small donation with the message “Pay for ___ and Droid’s therapy.”

Droid and I retreated to a quieter corner of the party, a small balcony overlooking the city. The cool night air was a welcome contrast to the sweaty, boozy atmosphere inside. We leaned against the railing, not saying anything for a long moment, just listening to the distant hum of the city and the faint thump of the bass from inside.

“Well,” Droid finally said, breaking the silence. He sounded slightly nervous, which was unusual for him. “That happened.”

I chuckled, kicking my heels against the metal railing. “Yeah, it did. Global audience and all.”

“I’m… not sorry.” He turned to face me, the city lights reflecting in his eyes. The fake fur around his face looked a little worse for wear, and his werewolf makeup was slightly smudged, but he still looked incredibly handsome. In a “just kissed me in front of thousands of people” kind of way.

“Me neither,” I admitted, meeting his gaze. “But… what now? We’ve been friends for, like, forever. And now…this.” I gestured vaguely between us.

“Now,” Droid said, stepping closer, “we figure it out. Together. If you want to, that is.” He reached out, his fingers brushing against my cheek.

The touch sent a shiver down my spine. “Of course, I want to,” I whispered. “I just… I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”

“Astra,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “Our friendship is strong. It can handle this. And if it can't… maybe this is worth risking.”

He was right. This felt too good to ignore. The way he understood me, the comfort we had with each other, the undeniable spark that had always been simmering beneath the surface… it was worth the risk.

“Okay,” I said, nodding. “Okay, let’s figure it out. But first,” I grinned, grabbing his hand and pulling him back towards the chaos inside, “we need to confiscate Pezzy’s laptop.”

The next few days were a whirlwind. The clip of our kiss went viral. We did damage control interviews, jokingly acknowledging the “incident” and trying to steer the conversation towards our actual streams. We even made a joint statement on Twitter, carefully worded to appease both our communities and our managers.

But amidst the online frenzy, we focused on each other. We talked, a lot. We went on awkward, slightly surreal dates where we were constantly recognized and asked for autographs. We navigated the tricky waters of transitioning from friends to something more, learning each other’s boundaries and desires.

It wasn’t always easy. There were moments of doubt, of insecurity, of wondering if we’d made a huge mistake. But every time, we came back to the same undeniable truth: we were good together. We made each other laugh, we supported each other’s dreams, and we had a connection that was rare and precious.

A few weeks later, I was back on Pezzy’s stream, guesting on his regular Friday Night Games stream. He was still milking the kiss for all it was worth, using the emote constantly and making endless jokes about it.

“So, ____,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. “Any updates on the Droid front? Are we hearing wedding bells yet?”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn’t help the smile that tugged at my lips. “Pezzy, you’re incorrigible. No wedding bells, but things are going well. Really well.”

“That’s what they all say,” he retorted, but his tone was lighthearted. “Well, I’m happy for you guys. Even if it did cost me my dignity to capture it on film.”

Suddenly, Droid walked into the frame, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. “What are you two gossiping about?” he asked, nuzzling my neck.

Pezzy gasped dramatically. “Oh my god, they’re doing PDA on my stream! The content gods are smiling upon me!”

I laughed, leaning back into Droid’s embrace. “Just ignore him,” I said to Droid. “He’s just trying to get a reaction.”

Droid grinned, looking directly into the camera. “Well, he’s getting one. Right now, the only thing I’m thinking about is taking ___ out for a nice dinner. Maybe a little dancing later.”

The chat went wild. Emotes flooded the screen. Pezzy looked like he was about to explode with excitement.

“Alright, alright, I get the hint,” Pezzy said, throwing his hands up in mock surrender. “Go enjoy your date. And try to keep it PG for once, okay? My stream can only handle so much excitement.”

Droid winked at the camera, then turned his attention back to me. “Ready to go, Fallen Angel?”

I smiled, feeling a warmth spread through my chest. “Ready when you are, Werewolf Boy.”

As we walked out of the room, leaving Pezzy to manage the chaos on his own, I knew we still had a long way to go.

[lxvvie]

y'all, I made the mistake of revealing that I write fanfiction as a hobby, and when asked about the fandoms I write for, I broke it down as I know best: into cliques. I realize I might be shaking the table but it is what it is.

This is what I said for CoD (I've since add some more stuff):

You got the forever war between Gaz Nation and Gaz Deniers. May or may not be rooted in his attractiveness as a person of color, opinions vary (read: it most definitely is). Bonus points if the racism comes out in full force. DOUBLE/TRIPLE those points if it's expressed using butchered ass AAVE. 🥴

You got the Masked Men Lovers Brigade of which König, Ghost, and Keegan are the patron saints and arguably the holy trinity.

You got the Peepaw Price Lovers who absolutely adore his chonky cheeks, peepaw mannerisms, lumberjack body complete with the slutty waist, and relative long-suffering thanks to the shenanigans of the rest of the crew.

You got the Soap Suds who, I think, have found that relative balance between Johnny being a destructive-as-all-hell force to be reckoned with and the quintessential golden retriever boyfriend. His VA doesn't make it any better apparently lmao.

You got the Ghost lovers who've pretty much diversified him so he can run the gamut of Daddy Dom Extraordinaire™, Babygurl™, Sassy Simon™, and the list is endless. What IS consistent is that someone parked a dump truck on that ass and he has some big ole titties. There's also the subset of people who REALLY, REALLY love Ghost but also think his VA is ugly (which he isn't) while simultaneously thinking that he (Ghost) is supposed to be David Gandy levels of immaculate despite being in active combat. Make it make sense.

There's the Gravediggers who, for the most part, acknowledge their love-hate relationship with Graves and I think that is both hilarious and endearing.

You have the Kult of Köthulhu, König's devoted followers who have allowed him to transcend his gremlin nature to become the long-lost progeny of Cthulhu. Move the fuck over, Cthylla. I kid but he, like Ghost, has also been diversified in terms of his portrayal. And no, he's not a part of 141. Some followers of His Gremliness are also embroiled in a forever war with Gaz Nation so please be safe out there, y'all.

You got the Valeria girlies who want her to sit on their faces. I don't blame them. Please do.

You have the Los Vaqueros crew who need more love shown to them and Pony by Ginuwine is their official theme song thanks to Alejandro Thee Stallion. The less said about the butchered Spanish I've read in some fics, the better.

There's also the Farah Fanatics who rightfully adore her and deserve their flowers just like the rest of the cliques.

There's the Keller Kollective who, I think, tends to intersect with the Farah Fanatics. This lot also deserves their flowers because Keller is a sub absolutely underrated as a character. You'd also be forgiven for thinking he and Price are elated.

You also got the Horangi Horde who, just like Gaz Nation, will RISE TF UP. I think. Hopefully. lmao

And then there's the self-righteous crew who, for whatever reason, seem to think they're above it all and love to police writers on what they write and how they write the characters (we're talking in terms of rather innocuous subjects in the grand scheme of things; the sus shit absolutely needs to be and should be called out). Interestingly enough, this group also seems to forget that they're in the same damn boat by being in the fandom, consuming, and writing about the same characters. The ones who have all the energy but none of the courage even if they say or think they do. Bonus points if they also move like fans. Double/Triple those points if they, too, also use butchered-ass AAVE to make their points. 🥴

The girlies who can't separate fiction from reality and insist on harassing the VAs and their significant others and families because how DARE they have a regular degular life outside of *checks notes* their job. Baby, it was never gonna be you. It will never. be. you.

did I get them all? lmao

[deadite-central]

Applauding myself for somehow fitting my thoughts on this arc in just three posts. This was a feat

Pudding to me is one of the most overhated characters in the series. She’s a sixteen year old girl who has been conditioned to believe by her own mother that she’s disgusting and ugly, and since she’s not physically strong the only way she can see herself being useful is by being the cunning one. When Sanji calls her eye beautiful, the same eye that she was ridiculed for her entire life, she breaks down, and she falls for Sanji as he’s the first person outside of her siblings that sees her as something other than a monster once he sees her eye. She’s not an evil bitch like a lot of people are convinced she is, she’s a traumatised child

In other news about the wedding, I adore Luffy’s plan of using Brûlée’s power and doing the funniest thing he could: creating a situation in which a hundred feral Luffys jump out of Big Mom’s cake. Absolutely hilarious and wonderful everyone go home. Things seriously don’t go Linlin’s way cause soon enough Jinbei straight up leaves her crew. And holy hell I love this scene so much. He’s so badass! Standing in front of a terrifying emperor and not even flinching? Not being scared at all? Jinbei is one of the most loyal Straw Hats and here you can see it on full display

Big Mom’s backstory in itself is insane, and while most people will be jaw dropped at the plot point that Linlin accidentally ate her friends without even realising it, to me the Mother Carmel reveal is what always gets me. ‘Orphan seller’ displayed in the box is so jarring, and the fact it’s the navy looking for these kids should tell you all you need to know about how much they actually care for the justice they wear on their backs so proudly

While Luffy vs Katakuri is great in the anime, as Whole Cake is where I’d say the current style of One Piece finally found it’s bearings, it’s absolutely ingenious in the manga. Oda goes so hard on the panelling, and the pacing of the fight is absolutely wonderful, with the reader learning more about Luffy’s abilities, Katakuri as a person and the dynamic between the two as the battle goes along, and it never once feels as if Oda is drawing something out or adding unneeded stuff. Everything here serves a purpose, and I adore this fight, even if it isn’t my favorite in the series

Also on the topic of Luffy vs Katakuri I highly recommend this video as it goes over WHY the panelling of the fight works, it’s really good I just gotta recommend it

Something I really like about Whole Cake is how it brings back the themes of Sanji’s character explored in Baratie, and puts them on full display. Big Mom may be a tyrannical emperor that’s chasing the main characters to kill them, but for Sanji, she’s still hungry, and she still deserves to eat food. It’s the biggest reason Luffy wanted him on the crew: his kindness towards everyone, something his father saw as a weakness, but that One Piece shows you again and again, is an important trait to have

And well, the cake Sanji, Pudding and Chiffon make us absolutely wonderful. I really want to bring attention to the absolute masterclass of a panel this last one here is, from the passage of time when you’re holding your breath between the six panels before it, to the absolutely amazing rendering of Big Mom’s face, I adore it so much. Maybe it’s a silly thing to gush over and give a whole section to; but damn me if I didn’t mention it

Besides the musical number being sung in the background, Whole Cake Island ends with Jinbei now officially a Straw Hat, but having to leave for the last time to save the crew. Again, his loyalty is unmatched, one that has been built up since the Summit War Saga, and every single time it’s on display, I love his character more and more. I genuinely don’t get people who believe he shouldn’t be a Straw Hat, he deserves to be part of the crew more than anyone else you could have wanted here

[soapsilly]

Reunion - Roronoa Zoro Imagine

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Spoilers for One Piece (?)

Summary: It's been five years since Zoro had to leave (Y/N) and their son. Five years since he promised he'd come back for them. Now that they finally found the One Piece, will Zoro be able to choose between life as a pirate and his young family?

A/N: This is Part 3 for Betrayal and Redemption, so read that first... or don't. Who am I to tell you anything?

Requests are closed

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Zoro swore under his breath as he turned the corner and found himself on the same market place yet again. It's been five years since he's last been on this damn island but nothing about this fucking village seemed familiar to him. He's been wandering around for what felt like an eternity but realistically couldn't have been more than two hours or so. The townspeople were muttering and mumbling behind their hands once they spotted him. He didn't know if they recognized him from when him and his crew saved the village five years ago or if they had seen his wanted poster in the newspapers. Ever since the Straw Hats finally found the One Piece and made Luffy Pirate King, there hasn't been an issue without their faces plastered on the cover page.

After he rounded the same corner for yet another time, he had to admit defeat. Zoro just knew, (Y/N) would've found his abymsal sense of direction hilarious, if she were there. Often she would have him lead the way just to see where they'd end up, knowing full well that they'd been walking in the wrong direction all along. The memory triggered a familiar pain in his chest - one that would always appear whenever he thought about the girl he had to leave behind. He had promised to come back for her. Her and their son... Sora.

Zoro had thought a lot about them these last couple of years. The boy that was barely even a toddler when he last saw them - and yet clearly looked so much like him already - must've been around seven years now. Would he remember him? Could he forgive his father for leaving him and his mother behind? Did (Y/N) even want him to return? It's been so many years with no contact. Maybe she decided to finally move on. These were the thoughts that tormented Zoro these past couple of months during night watches. After they found the One Piece he wanted nothing more than to return to (Y/N) as soon as possible but the journey was long - many opportunities for his mind to wander.

"Hey, Zoro", Nami pulled him from his thoughts. The swordsman only grunted in return.

"I bet you're glad to finally see (Y/N) again after all those years, huh?", the navigator continued. She could sense the nervousness that surrounded her friend these last couple of weeks. She didn't blame him, she'd be nervous aswell.

"I guess", the mosshead has never been a man of many words.

"Do you miss her?", Nami's voice was quiet but he could hear her clearly. The Thousand Sunny was almost silent during those night hours - a stark contrast to it's chaotic state during the day.

Zoro didn't answer at first. Of course he missed her. He missed her everyday. Especially at night, when the two of them would sit down with (Y/N)'s homemade liquor to talk about anything and everything. It was then that Zoro got to truly open up.

"I do, you know?", Nami continued when she sensed the swordfighters struggles to find the right words.

"What if - what if I took to long?", Zoro turned to face the red-head. Talking about his feelings made him uncomfortable but Nami was (Y/N)'s friend. If anybody could help him tame the chaos in his mind it would be her.

The woman knew exactly what he was referring to. No need to elaborate. A sympathetic expression took over her features.

"Nonsense, you know her. It's (Y/N). I doubted her once... I won't make the same mistake twice. Trust me she waited", Nami didn't enjoy thinking back to way she treated her friend back then when she thought that (Y/N) had betrayed the crew during those two years they were separated. She knew, (Y/N) told her not to worry about it - that she'd have acted the same way - but the memories still hurt. Nami was determined to trust her friend this time around. They were Nakama after all...

Zoro sent her a nod but he wasn't quite sure if he actually believed what the red-head said or if he was only trying to convince himself.

"Oi, you two!", Zoro had enough of wandering around the market place, "I'm looking for uh - the witch?"

Their eyes widened when the two men realized who was standing before them.

"Oh, you're that Pirate Hunter dude! You found the One Piece", one of them answered.

"Yes, yes! Roronoa Zuko or something", the other guy agreed.

Zoro had to take a deep breath as to not lose his temper.

"The witch. Where can I find her?", he spoke through gritted teeth.

"Oh, yeah", one of them drawled out, "I'm sorry, man, but she died - like what? A few years back?"

Zoro couldn't hear a word from the bickering that followed about whether it's been two or three years already. All he could think about was the fact that he came too late. He felt panic rise up in his chest. This wasn't a situation he could fight his way out of. And what about their son? Where was he and who took care of him? He never felt so helpless before. There were a thousand thoughts rushing through his head - until a new voice interrupted his strings of thought.

"No, you idiots! He's looking for my mom", Zoro's eyes grew wide when he saw whom the voice belonged to. There was no doubt that the little boy before them was his son. He had the same green hair, the same lopsided grin - albeit a few of his teeth missing. Zoro felt like his head was spinning. He didn't know what to feel. Relief because apparently (Y/N) was well? Happiness? Fear? He had thought about this moments so many times but nothing could have actually prepared him for when it actually came to meeting his son. He had honestly relied on (Y/N) being there and guiding him through the situation but fate had some different plans for him that day. It was almost comical - how was he expected to handle these kind of situations when he couldn't even deal his own emotions most of the time.

"Right, right, right", one of the two men seemed to remember what the boy was talking about, "You mean (Y/N)! Oi, he means (Y/N)!"

Out of all the people Zoro could've asked, of course it had to be these two morons. He was just about to lose his temper, breathing heavy already, but his mini-me reminded him why he was even there to begin with. That didn't stop him from giving them the death glare as he followed Sora away from these two idiots, who by the looks of it didn't even notice it anyways as they were still deep in discussion about God knows what.

"They're idiots", the little boy's voice pulled Zoro out of his thoughts, "Mom's fine"

The swordsman noticed that the little guy didn't seem nervous at all. In fact, he started talking to Zoro as if he had known him his whole life.

"They were talking about Mim...", he continued. Zoro remembered the old hag that mentored (Y/N) during their initial two year separation. He met her briefly. She was old. Ancient even. His heart ached for his lover. He was glad that she had someone on this island. Some kind of support. He felt better knowing someone was there for her - that she wasn't alone. And still, the older woman was yet another person that left her to fend for herself. He knew his thoughts were merely a projections of his own guilty conscience. That it was actually him that left his girlfriend behind.

"We knew you'd come", the little boy happily babbled on as he led the way out of the village towards the edge of the forrest, "The others said you wouldn't come but Mom knew"

The little boy may have inherited his looks but Zoro noticed that his essence - the way he just happily talked and talked without a care in the world - was all (Y/N).

"Look!", the witch ran up to the swordsman and grabbed him by the hand, pulling him with her.

"What's going on? Who's hurt?", his free hand immediately found it's way to the swords that were hung closely by his hip.

"Huh? No one?", she scrunched up her face adorably, "Look what I found!"

Zoro could hear the excitement in her voice as she pulled him up to a meadow she had found while exploring the new island the Straw Hats stopped at. Her eyes marveled at all the flowers, plants and herbs that grew all over the place.

"Isn't it beautiful?", she turned to him wide a wide smile.

"Depends", Zoro grunted.

"On what?", her face fell. The mosshead noticed that cute little crease between her eyebrows that appeared whenever she was in deep thought or confused.

"Well, depends on how many of these plants could kill me"

"Most of them", she shrugged but couldn't help the happy laugh that left her lips, "Come on now"

With that she grabbed his hand again, already talking about what each plant could be used for, taking samples as she went, shoving them into the swordsman's arms so that he could carry them for her. Zoro didn't understand a word she was saying. He didn't mind though. He enjoyed her rambling about potions and balms.

"Hey! Are you even listening to me?"

Zoro smiled to himself as the memory played in his head.

"We're almost there", the little boy shouted over his shoulder.

And indeed, not even two minutes later (Y/N)'s little hut appeared before them. The mosshead noticed how similar to his lover the house looked. It was small. Whimsical. A plethora of flowers decorated the little gardenspace in the front. All in all a peaceful sight. But appearences can be deceptive. He knew that most of the plants were poisonous. No matter how beautiful they seemed, even a little dose could be deadly.

"Mommy!", the little boy yelled out as they approached the house, "Mommy, look!"

It wasn't even thirty seconds until the door to the hut swung open and (Y/N) hurried out, a dish rag clutched in one of her hands.

"What did you do now? Whatever it is that you caught, you better-", (Y/N) dropped the dish towel when her eyes fell onto the mosshead. Zoro's heart skipped several beats when he realized how close they were. All these years apart and yet he still felt like it was yesterday that the two of them kissed under the moonlight. She was beautiful. Eventhough she looked exhausted, she was clearly the girl he fell in love with. His (Y/N).

Sora excitedly ran up to his mother, squealing happily, "He's back! Look, Mommy. You were right. He came!"

(Y/N) patted his head - stroking the green hair - almost mechanical, her wide eyes remained on the swordsman. Her lips slightly parted as if she was trying to come up with something to say but struggling to find the words.

"Yes, love... I can see that", her voice was full of shock but she still did her best to sound excited for her son.

Zoro felt self-conscious. He didn't know what to do. Should he say something? Walk up to her? Would she even want that? He scolded himself. Why did he take a seven year old's word for it?

The mosshead was so busy with his thoughts that he almost didn't notice her walking up to him and practically flinging herself into his arms. Her head comfortably found it's place underneath his chin. Zoro got emotional as her scent filled his nose. For a moment they just stood there.

"I knew you'd come", he heard her whisper against his chest.

"Always", he answered as he pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

When she looked up at him, he could see the tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. He was just about to wipe them away with his thumbs, when their son - their son - interrupted the moment together.

"Mommy, I found him", he smiled brightly as he squeezed himself between his parents' legs.

(Y/N) hastily wiped her tears away before clapping in her hands once. An excited smile present on her lips, "You're right, Honey! And I think we'll need to celebrate that!"

"A party?", the little boy looked up at her with bright eyes, "Can we - can we make a cake for dad?"

Dad... Zoro noticed how the green-headed boy's voice tripped over itself due to the sheer excitement. The swordsman blinked a few times at the mention of his new title. He felt a strange feeling in his stomach area. Of course, he was his dad. There was no doubt about that. And of course, he wanted to be - of course. But still it felt so strange being called that, being welcomed back with open arms like that. He felt (Y/N)'s eyes flicker over to him before turning back to the child.

"Well, I'm sure your father would much rather celebrate with a good bottle of rum... Here", she handed the little boy some bills, "go back into the village and buy him a nice bottle at Old Mickey's place, yes? And when you're back, we'll bake something nice anyways"

Zoro's eyes widened. Did she really sent their son to buy hard liquor for them?

"Yes, Mommy!", the little guy nodded enthusiastically and skipped away.

"Did you just sent our seven year old to buy alcohol? Who in their right mind would sell alcohol to a child?", the swordsman raised his brows.

The witch shrugged, "Hopefully no one. I mean, they know him 'round here but still. He's only seven", she grinned, "Besides, you know I have my own liquor. You didn't forget about that, did you?"

The concerned look on her face hit Zoro straight in the heart. How could she ever think that he'd forget just a single thing about her?

"Okay but... I still don't understand", he furrowed his brows, "Why did you sent him away then?"

"Of course, you don't", she started laughing as she grabbed his hand to guide him into the hut, "Sora is so happy that you're here. Haven't seen him like that since that one time Mim made him float through the air... You seemed overwhelmed though. Sorry that he found you first. Ever since I told him about how you guys found the One Piece he's been patroling the island for when you'd arrive. He can be pretty stubborn you know? Thought I'd give you some space..."

(Y/N) grew quiet towards the end when she noticed her rambling.

"You- you told him about me?", Zoro was shocked.

"Well, of couse", she looked at him with those eyes - those eyes that he couldn't resist, "We always read the newspaper together during breakfast, you know? He loves hearing about your adventures. He wants to be a swordsman just like you. Or a devil fruit user like Luffy... Or both"

The swordfighter's chest swole with pride as he imagined his son wanting to be just like him. Maybe he could teach him?

"I missed you", her voice was low. Merely a whisper.

"I missed you too", he answered thruthfully, "I thought about you everyday"

And with that he crashed his lips onto hers. For the first time in five years he felt at peace. Like a she was the missing piece that finally completed him again.

When they eventually separated, she smiled at him, her hands already tracing circles on his thighs.

"You know? There's another benefit of us having some alone time", she mumbled against his lips, already climbing on top of him, "The downside? We won't have long..."

"After five years?", he panted, "I won't last long anyways"

The giggle that followed was like music to his ears. This didn't play out like he had imagined but with them the things rarely do. At the moment he was just happy to be back with his love - how her lips felt against his own. How her hands roamed his body. How hot her skin felt against his.

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"That scar wasn't there last time I saw you", she traced the pale pink line that decorated his side.

He shrugged. Being the Pirate King's first mate came with it's price.

"Neither were those", he gestured towards the little pictures that were plastered all over her ribcage. Each tattoo symbolized one member of the crew. A straw hat, three katanas, a clementine - even a little violine that represented Brook.

"This way I had you with me... Wherever you guys may have been", her voice was quiet. Peaceful.

"I see...", Zoro thought about her words. He knew she chose to stay behind but it couldn't have been easy for her. The Straw Hats were her family and even after all those years, she never stopped thinking about them as such, "But did you really have to get one for the ero-cook, too?"

He pulled a face. He didn't like the thought of any part of that pervert being anywhere near (Y/N)'s naked body - even if it was just some ink.

She laughed at how whiny he sounded as he fixated on the little lighter that resembled the one Sanji would always carry around with himself.

"So I take it, the two of you have not become best buddies then?"

Her question was only met with a contemptuous snort.

"Where are they anyways?", she continued - more serious this time.

"I asked them to drop me off here. Wanted to have some time alone with you before they would come barging in causing chaos again"

"That's almost romantic", she smiled, "For your standards, I mean"

"Wow, thanks a lot", he sarcastically replied but secretly he loved the way she just seamlessly picked up where they left off. There was no awkwardness. No unfamiliarity.

"They'll join us here in a couple of days...", the mosshead continued.

"Wow, it's going to be so strange seeing them again", she spoke moreso to herself than to anyone in particular.

"You don't have to be nervous... You're still part of the crew", Zoro's hand reached out to play with (Y/N)'s hair. A glimmer of hurt flickered over her face. It wasn't even a second but the swordsman still noticed.

"Well, we'll see about that", she forced herself to sound cheerful, "For now, let's celebrate. We should get dressed, Sora could be back any time now"

And with that she pushed herself off the bed to get dressed. A sight Zoro could get used to. This domestic life. A little house. A family. He never wanted this, never dreamed of it. But right this moment, this didn't seem so bad.

(Y/N) was right, not long after the two of them got dressed they heard the happy voice of their son approaching from outside.

"Here, Mommy", the little boy pushed the bottle of rum, he was carrying towards his mother.

"What the-? Sora!", Zoro watched his girlfriend as she struggled to find the right words, "Did Old Mickey seriously sell you this?"

"Oh, no. Here!", Sora reached into his backpocket and handed his mother the bills back that she had given him before he left.

"I don't -", she took a deep breath to compose herself, "Sora, why do you have this?"

"Old Mickey didn't want to sell me the rum. He said I was too young. I told him it was for Dad but he wouldn't believe me!", the child sounded appalled.

"So, instead of just coming back and getting one of us - you just stole it?", his mother was in disbelief but the little boy just shrugged.

"Fuck, Sora. You know that's not okay! I thought I taught you better than this"

"Oi!", Zoro interjected, "Cut the boy some slack! At least he's honest"

"Honest?", the swordsman couldn't help but laugh at how shocked his girlfriend looked, "He just stole a bottle of rum, Zoro!"

"Yeah, well but he didn't keep the money though", Zoro grinned, "He could've said that he bought the alcohol and bag the money for himself. Besides, what did you expect? You told him to go buy some rum"

"Well, not my proudest moment as a parent I guess", she massaged the bridge of her nose.

The swordsman decided to walk over to the witch, hugging her and pressing a kiss against her temple.

"Don't sweat it. We can't all be perfect"

Her content smile quickly turned into a slap to the biceps once she registered the words her boyfriend just said. He wasn't usually known for joking around - sure a few sarcastic remarks directed at the cook but other than that, the mosshead was always rather serious.

"Guys, you'll never believe what I witnessed last night", Usopp excitedly told the rest of the crew during breakfast. It was the morning after (Y/N) and Zoro's first drunken night together. Neither of them joined the crew for breakfast, too hungover from the night before.

Immediately Chopper and Luffy were intrigued. Leaning forward eager to hear what their friend had to say.

"Last night when I had guard duty I saw Zoro with (Y/N) goofing around", Usopp revealed waiting for his friends to be as excited for the newly aquired information as he was but the desired reaction remained absent.

"So what? (Y/N) is always goofing around", Nami shrugged, popping another blueberry into her mouth.

"No! No,no. Zoro was goofing around too", Usopp insisted.

The breakfast table remaind silent for a few seconds before the whole crew broke out in laughter.

"Yeah sure", Sanji grinned, "When I made my rounds last night, the marimo and (Y/N)-san enjoyed a few drinks together. Not that that alcoholic could distinguish a good wine from dishwater", he finished bitterly.

"Typical Usopp", Chopper agreed, hinting towards the snipers affinity towards bending the truth to make up the wildest stories.

"I mean it though", Usopp whined. Why wouldn't anybody believe him?, "They did impressions and everything! Zoro's impression of Sanji was actually pretty hilarious"

It took a few more rounds of convincing but slowly one after the other the Straw Hats started believeing the sniper.

"I knew she was a real witch... She cast a spell on him", Chopper whispered almost fearful of (Y/N)'s abilities.

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It was night and Zoro laid awake (Y/N) peacefully sleeping in his arms. It was a good day. Sora seemed to have alot of fun asking all kinds of questions about their adventures, fish-men and how to become a swordsman. So why couldn't he sleep?

He gently pushed (Y/N) off of him, hoping not to wake her, and got up to get some fresh air. It would only be a couple of days more until the rest of his crew would arrive. Zoro didn't know how he felt about that.

"Leaving already?", (Y/N)'s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"I tried not to wake you", Zoro knew his love was just teasing him.

"Well, you failed", she laughed as she walked up to him, hugging his biceps, "What's wrong with you? Do you already regret coming back for us?"

Zoro could still hear the smile in her voice but he knew her well enough to also hear the hint of genuine concern that swung along with it.

"Of course not!", the swordfighter was appaled, "You were all I could think about ever since finding the One Piece"

"What is it then?"

"I guess I feel guilty"

"Guilty? For what?"

"I know you said it was fine and that you made the decision yourself but all of this - raising Sora by yourself - it must've been so...", he struggled to find the words, "And - and... Sora! He's great and I missed so much. I just don't understand how - how ... How can you just forgive me?"

(Y/N) just listened to his word-vomit, letting him spill his feelings. It was rare that he said that many words without interruption - especially not with that deep of a meaning.

"Oh, Zoro...", the witch cooed, "You're thinking to much about all of this. It's really quite easy... There's nothing to forgive"

She shrugged. The mosshead tried to protest but she wouldn't have it, shutting him down immediately.

"There is nothing to forgive", she repeated this time more forcefully, "We are happy that you're here"

(Y/N) sent him a questioning look as if to ask if he understood her. A loving smile lit up her face when he finally nodded in return.

"Very good", she sighed, "And now let's get back to bed. Your son is a morning person"

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These last remaining days just flew by. Zoro enjoyed spending time with his little family and he was almost a little sad that their crew would disturb their peace.

"(Y/N)!", Luffy flung himself into the witch's arms, wrapping himself around her.

Her happy laugh filled the air.

"I'm so happy to see you all again", she grinned, "Congratulations! I guess I'm in the presence of royalty now"

(Y/N) was still busy greeting all of her friends when Nami spotted a certain green-haired boy hiding behind his mother's legs.

"As happy as I am to see you, (Y/N), where is my little nephew?", the navigator feigned.

The witch grinned, not being used to her son being timid.

"Guys, this is Sora. He's a big fan"

Nami crouched down, pulling the little boy into her chest and immediately peppering his face with kisses.

"Oooooh Nami-swaaaaan, you're so loving and kind~", Sanji was smitten with the way the red-head acted around the child.

Once Nami released Sora from her grasp, the cook leaned down holding out his hand for the little mosshead to shake.

"My name is Sanji and I'm-"

Sanji was interrupted by the little boy kicking him in the shin.

"Sora!", (Y/N) scolded her son.

Zoro couldn't hold back his laughter, patting his son on the shoulder to show his approval.

"Sanji, I'm so sorry!", the witch fussed over the cook.

"Like father like son, huh?", Sanji scowled at Zoro who still couldn't stop laughing.

"Yep", the swordsman had never been more proud in his life.

"Sora, apologize right this instant", the Straw Hats had never heard (Y/N) be this strict.

"C'mon, Babe! What happened? Out of anybody you instigated the most fights", Zoro was still laughing.

It was true. She always found the little fights her boyfriend and the cook would have hilarious. That's why she told her son about them during their bedtime stories but that didn't mean Sora could just do as he pleased.

"No fighting now", Nami interjected, "Sanji, make some food. We need to celebrate. The crew is finally back together"

Sanji did as he was told, happy to be of service. And he didn't disappoint. The meal he created was nothing short of a feast. There was more food than they could possibly eat - if it weren't for Luffy of course. Brook played some happy tunes. And (Y/N) felt at peace, it was just like back when she was still part of the crew. She was just getting to know Jinbei as she watched Sora dance arm in arm with Luffy, Chopper and Usopp, his legs dangling in the air. Her eyes wandered over to Zoro, who was enjoying a drink at the moment and she decided then and there to just let her mind rest for the night and worry about what's to come once the party was over.

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It's been a few days since (Y/N) and her son joined the Straw Hats on the Thousand Sunny. Sora didn't leave Zoro's side even once. The little boy loved watching his father practice and even begged him to teach him some. Zoro didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, he seemed to enjoy spending time with his son just as much. Seeing the two people she loved most - being with her nakama again - all of this felt right. This made it all the more tragic when Nami anounced they'd have to leave soon.

"Great! (Y/N), go get your stuff. Sanji and Franky can help you carry everything", Luffy sounded happy, "Sora can stay here on the ship with us while you do that"

It was Sabaody all over again. Five years ago (Y/N) had to have the same conversation with her crew. She knew Zoro had obligations as Luffy's first mate, so she tried to savour their time together while it lasted. Maybe he'd visit them every couple of years - at least she hoped he would for Sora's sake. Her heart ached as she thought about the little boy. He loved his father so much. Losing him now would devastate him. (Y/N) tried to ignore the fact that she felt the same way.

She sighed, "Luffy... A pirate ship is still no place for a child. Especially now that you are pirate king. You've got a target on your back. All of you"

As if on command all of the Straw Hats yelled some kind of suggestion or protest - even Sora pleaded for his mother to reconsider.

The witch leaned down to be on eye-level with her son, taking both of his hands in her own, "I'm so sorry, Honey... but I promise they can visit us anytime. They found us once... They'll find us again"

She tried to sound cheerful so that her son didn't notice how hard this was for her but she could feel the tears forming already.

"No!", Sora screamed, "I want to be a pirate. Just like Dad!"

Before (Y/N) could answer, Luffy interjected.

"That's a great idea! I was seven when I started my pirate training!"

"But that's not the same!", (Y/N) had never raised her voice at Luffy before so when she realized her yelling she took a deep breath to calm herself, "Luffy, you were a devil fruit user already. Your grandfather is Garp and you spent a significant amount of time with Shanks. Sora is... just a child"

The crew was quiet as (Y/N) unloaded all her frustrations.

"Listen, I was so happy to see you again but I'm not part of your crew anymore and I haven't been for a long time. All those things you've accomplished - everything you've done - I took no part in it. These last couple of days were special but I'm need to take care of my family"

"But we are your family", Nami pleaded. She could only try to imagine how (Y/N) must feel. She knew her well. She knew that (Y/N) wanted to stay. She knew she would never ask Zoro to leave the crew for them because (Y/N) knew that Zoro would do so without hesitation. He loved her more than anything. Anyone could see that. But Nami also knew that (Y/N) was scared.

"I'm sorry...", the other woman shook her head, signaling for her son to say goodbye to the crew.

"Enough", Zoro had been quiet during most of the discussion but he had heard enough.

(Y/N)'s eyes were wide as she stared at her lover.

"I accepted your decision five years ago. I understood that it wasn't safe. I got stronger. We all did. We found the One Piece and made Luffy pirate king. I trained day and night to become the best. The strongest. And then I returned to you. I came back. I will not lose you yet again. Do you hear me?", he sounded almost angry, "I love you more than anything. You and our son. I love that he has your personality. I love that he wants to become a swordfighter just like me. You are not leaving and that's it"

"Zoro...", (Y/N) sighed.

"No! Just no. We can protect you. There's a fight? Fine! We'll fight, you'll go below deck and stay there with Sora until the coast is clear. What about school? I know you're going to ask. You are smart. So is Robin. You can teach him. Fuck, even Chopper can"

(Y/N) could see Robin nodding from where she was standing.

"Zoro-"

"No!", he wasn't finished, "What do you want me to do? Stay with you? Leave the crew? I will... Just say a word and I will"

The witch marched over to where the mosshead was getting increasingly more desperate by the minute. Once she reached him she put her hands on either side of her face.

"Zoro!", she almost yelled.

"What?"

"We'll stay"

The whole crew errupted in cheers as Zoro grabbed her by the waist, spinning her around, pressing a deep kiss on her lips. (Y/N) squealed in surprise - not only by his sudden movement but also because it was the first time that he had initiated closeness between the two of them when other people were around.

"But I swear, if anything happens to us, I'll curse you", she giggled once he sat her down on the ground again.

"I would never let that happen", he assured her.

(Y/N) knew things wouldn't be easy but they were her family and she trusted them. It's been years since she felt like she truly belonged somewhere but seeing her son so happy, she knew she made the right decision.

************************************************************************

Epilogue

Zoro had meanwhile turned towards his mini-me, who couldn't even believe his luck.

"Oi, Sora! Your training starts tomorrow"

[legendweaver]

Koshiro doesn't know...

Do you guys ever think about how Koshiro has never met Luffy or any of the crew? Like, everyone else's found family (that were still alive) got to meet the crew before, or only slightly after, they joined. They saw Luffy, saw the dynamics, and were happy for them. Koshiro just woke up one day, maybe idly wandering what Zoro, renowned pirate hunter is up too, then had a news coo drop his damn bounty at his feet. How confused do you think he was. He finds out A, Zoro finally got outside of the East Blue, B is no longer a pirate hunter, C is wanted by the government, and D is a pirate now?!

I find it hilarious, because he's commentary on Zoro's bounties (when they're not showing Mihawk for them as the other half of Zoro's found family) is just "Well, I hope he's happy, and is still following the Swordsman code", because he has no idea what the hell's going on.

But think of all the funny rationalizations he tried to come up with. Was he blackmailed? (not incorrect) Paid? (no, my son would never) Some kind of mind control?(doubtful)

Maybe he thinks that because Mihawk is a warlord and works for the government, so Zoro is by default going against the government as a pirate, and is just part of the crew as it serves his needs. Because he doesn't know! He doesn't know "do you have any problem with that Pirate King?!" or that nothing happened! He has no idea that his dumb sword son is head over heels, like near instantly, for Monkey D "Dumbass" Luffy, who Koshiro had to ask around for who he was, since when he saw Luffy's first bounty he probably only had the passing thought "hm, high for the East Blue" and promptly forgot about it.

Guys, he probably thinks the straw hats are like a normal crew.

[a-dam-leo-valdez-lover]

Anyone But You

Leo Valdez x Reader

6k words

TW: implied sexual content

When you’re trapped on a magical flying boat with 7 other people, there’s somethings that you definitely don’t want to happen, like getting caught after making out with your best friend who you may or may not be in love with, you also don’t want them to overhear you to say it meant nothing. AKA I watched Anyone but you this weekend because I’m in love with Sydney Sweeney and all I could think about is the amount of drama that would’ve happened if this was a teen flick. Like no adults (or Annabeth) to think things through, the drama would be unmatched. Soooo yeah and I know this doesn’t fully fit into the actual plot of the books and it doesn’t really follow the plot of the movie either but canon be damned. I’m gonna just make things up sorry.

Y/N’s POV:

They were friends, that was it. Sure Leo Valdez was cute, and yeah maybe he had this way of smiling at you that made it impossible not to blush, and of course his jokes were hilarious, despite you being the only one laughing most of the time, but it didn’t mean anything. At least not at first, but on a boat filled with couples, by default you spent most of your time with Leo, at first you were sort of forced into it, but eventually you sought him out when you were bored. His non stop talking was sure to fill the silence that you found suffocating. Eventually you two became joint at the hip, everyone could see it, but it's not like you two were ever truly alone with one another, especially after Percy and Annabeth’s little “falling asleep talking the the stables” incident when you first set sail. Coach Hedge spent more time patrolling for indecent activity between the crew than he did for monsters. Still, your moments with Leo managed to keep you up at night, you woke up with a smile on your face every time. That was of course until everything went wrong.

Percy and Annabeth were gone, lost in the depths of Tartarus and as you rushed to try and save them, there was a constant cloud of doubt and stress covering the ship. The only saving grace was the departure of Coach Hedge, Nico, and Reyna as the set off across the world to deliver the Athena Parthenos to Camp Half-Blood. Not that you disliked having the later two around, it just made it simpler to not have so many people on a small ship, and as for Coach Hedge, it didn’t take long for the couples to start spending a night together with no fear of an angry satyr with a baseball bat intruding. Slowly but surely everybody seemed to be bunking with someone else at night, not just the couples, you often found yourself sleeping over with Hazel and Piper or falling asleep on Frank or Leo’s floor while hanging out. The only persons room you didn’t find you self in was Jason’s and that’s because the boy was always up at 4 am no matter what time he went to sleep, and you weren’t crazy enough to be awake at such an ungodly hour.It was obvious though, that nobody wanted to be alone, especially now the the crew’s size had shrunk significantly. That’s how you found yourself in Leo’s room late one afternoon, nobody besides Jason could stand being on the ships deck for too long do to the storm brewing meaning you needed a way to occupy your time. Everyone seemed a bit on edge that day, but you figured Leo could make you laugh and probably would be alone working on some project anyways. You were right, slowly as the day moved on, talking turned into something more, at least that’s what the cluster of hickeys that painted your neck implied. You hadn’t thought too much about it when you were in the heat of the moment, but now, laying in Leo’s arms as the sun began to rise, you were panicking. Before you could even think about what you were doings, you had already gathered your belongings, doing your best to make yourself presentable before sneaking out and back to your own bunk.

You thought you had gotten away with it too, styling your hair in a braid an throwing on a oversize sweatshirt, you didn’t think anyone would notice, but over course Piper did. The very first thing she did when you emerged from your room was call you out.

“Looks like someone had a fun night”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about Pipes,” You tried your best to sound oblivious but it wasn’t working.

‘‘Right, so you didn’t spend the night in Leo’s room and come out covered in. Hi-“ She was cut off by you shoving your hand over her mouth just as Frank turned the corner to head into his room.

“Do I even want to know,” He laughed as he looked at you both.

“No, bye Frank” You said way too quickly to not be suspicious before dragging Piper into her room and closing the door behind you.

“Spill” She commanded.

It left you wondering for a moment if she had used her charmspeak on you because it was like you couldn’t get the words out fast enough, desperate to tell someone about how you felt. It was more than just something physical, Leo was your best friend, your confidant, last night almost seemed to be too good to be true, with you talking for hours about everything under the sun. You told Piper about how you felt after, about how you snuck out first thing in the morning, panicked about what to do and what to say, about how all you could think about the entire time the two of you had been in her room talking, is what you were going to say when you saw Leo on deck later.

“So what you’re telling me is that instead of telling Leo you’re in love with him you snuck out and didn’t say anything. You just left him alone in his bed.”

“I never said I was in love with Leo, I just-“

She cut you off, “No Y/N you didn’t say it, but it's pretty damn obvious. So?”

“So what?”

“Are you going to tell him?” She asked

“I can’t do that! What if he doesn’t feel the same, what if it-“

“Y/n I swear if you don’t get your ass over to his room right now and tell him I’m going to do it myself”

“Is that an option? Because I’m totally okay with that”

“Y/n GO”

So you went, and as you approached Leo’s door you saw it was cracked open and could hear 2 voices coming from inside, Hazel’s and Leo’s.

Leo’s POV

Last night changed everything, for the first time in his life, Leo wasn’t the odd man out. For the first time in his life, Leo felt like things were going right, the girl he’d been in love with for weeks was in his bed, in his arms, and yet the most exciting part by far was the way she smiled, the way she blushed whenever he made a joke, Y/N was perfect. Everything was perfect, until he woke up and she was gone. At first he sat there wondering what he did wrong, maybe he should go find her, or maybe give her space. It wasn’t like there was a manual out there for what to do after hooking up with your best friend who you’re secretly in love with and she snuck out on you. So instead he found the next best thing, after a quick iris message Hazel was in his room in no time at all. So Leo told her everything, well not everything, she was still pretty naive in a lot of ways, and he was pretty sure some of the 21st century occurrences would’ve given the girl an aneurysm. But Hazel listen to every word of the slightly abridged version of events and came to the simplest conclusion.

“So you’re in love with Y/n” She stated quite directly.

“In LOVE with Y/N? No not at all” He didn’t even know why he said it.

“Okay but you talked all night and kissed and said everything is different? How can you say you’re not in love” She asked, she seemed genuinely confused, but so did Leo to be fair.

“Look all of this is new to me, and I don’t really do the whole love and relationships thing” He tried to say it in a way that seemed cool like some sort of playboy, it wasn’t working.

“Okay but you like her right”

He thought about it for a minute before answering, the thought of being in love was enough to make his stomach churn with anxiety, romance was uncharted territory. There were too many feelings, too many moving peices that were out of his control. Sure Y/n was basically his entire world, some days he could’ve sworn he woke up just to see her, but at the same time she left so quickly without even saying goodbye, what if he was overthinking what happened last night. So he let his insecurities take over, and his hurt fueled the words the came out of his mouth.

“Honestly Hazel, I think I was just bored, I mean Y/N was there. Besides I don’t do love, Y/ns great and all but, its never going to happen between us”

“Are you sure about that” Hazel was shocked

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life” And for a brief moment Leo could’ve sworn he heard footsteps in the hall outside his room .

“I don’t know Leo, maybe she just left because she was nervous”

“Nervous? Nervous about what? I was nervous too, but I didn’t leave, I stayed.”

“Why did you stay though?”

“Because,” He hesitated, “ Because I thought maybe we could be together, that she loved me too”

“Then maybe you need to tell her that, she deserves to know”

Y/N’s POV

“Honestly Hazel, I think I was just bored, I mean Y/N was there. Besides I don’t do love, Y/ns great and all but, its never going to happen between us” Leo’s words hit Y/N like a punch to the gut. Maybe he didn’t mean it. Hazel seemed to be thinking the same thing.

“Are you sure about that” Hazel said almost too quietly to hear despite the open door.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life”

That was all it took for y/n to run away, trying your best to be silent knowing you were probably failing. You did your best to hold it together, with each step closer to your room however the tears seemed to flow harder. How could you have been so stupid. Y/N thought that maybe Leo felt the same, even Piper had agreed, if they were both wrong, Y/N must be damn near delusional. It was moments like these where Y/N missed Annabeth more than ever, she would’ve been straight to the point doing some analysis of the situation and determining the best way for Y/N to move on. Hell it was moments like this where Y/N wished Coached Hedge was running around with a baseball bat and could’ve prevented this from ever happening in the first place.

You made it to your room slamming the door behind you, the impact shook the room, causing a picture frame that had been hung on the wall to fall the the ground shattering in a hundred tiny pieces. You couldn’t even be bothered to clean it up instead you sat down on the floor and cried. Y/n’s body shook with sobs and realized why they called it heartbreak. Just like the picture frame on the ground he heart felt like a piece of glass that had been broken beyond repair.

Y/n didn’t know how long she had been sitting there, maybe 10 minutes or ten hours but you did know you had no tears left to cry. Your lips were dry, your eyes were lined with red, and your head was aching. You had enough medical training from your time living in cabin 7 to know you should probably get some water and try to eat something, but you just didn’t have the energy so you kept sitting there. It felt like eternity later when there was a knock on the door. Y/N wasn’t sure if she said come in or if Frank out of worry took it upon himself to open the door unprompted, but there he was looking at the sniffling mess of a girl sitting on the floor surrounded by broken glass. He had a plate of food in his hand, vegetarian enchiladas, it was Leo’s night to make dinner. Without a word, Frank set down the plate and started cleaning up the glass. When he finished that he looked at Y/N who still hadn’t said a word to him, he wasn’t sure exactly what to do or why she was upset but he knew that this was going to be someone else’s problem so he got Piper.

When Piper got to Y/N’s room a few minutes later not much had changed. Y/N still sat on her floor but unlike Frank, Piper knew what the look on y/n’s face meant and what had caused her tears.

“Don’t tell me he turned you down” She said softly wrapping y/n in a hug as she sat on the ground next to you.

“I didn’t give him that chance to say it to my face not after what he told Hazel”

“What do you mean? What did he say to Hazel?” She questioned

“He said it was never going to happen between us, he said he was sure about it.”

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I shouldn't have told you to go over there. He’s such a jerk. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Just don’t tell anyone, please” You said softly. It was bad enough you looked like an idiot, it would be worse if everyone knew Leo Valdez had rejected you after everything that had happened. “Promise me.”

Maybe it was just the overwhelming emotions you were feeling, but you didn’t even notice that Piper never responded.

1 Week Later

Everyone was on edge, petty fights and disagreements became blowouts far too often, and more than ever it felt like the 6 of you left on the ship would rip each other's throats out if given the chance. Y/N and Leo weren’t immune, it was probably worse for you two since he couldn’t take the hint you wanted nothing to do with him. You’d been trying your best to avoid him whenever possible but he continued to seek your attention, as if he had any right to talk to you after everything. While Leo didn’t seem to take the hint, everybody else seemed to pick up on what was happening. Piper had talked to Jason about what happened, after all it only seemed fair he knew since the 4 of you had gone on your first quest together and he was the only one who didn’t know the story but she had sworn him to secrecy. What Y/N didn’t know however, was that everyone but her seemed to be talking about her relationship issues.

Frank thought he had put two and two together after seeing y/n crying and seeing Leo act like more of a love struck idiot than normal, but what he didn’t understand is why Y/N would be upset that Leo liked her. Sure Leo was basically the most annoying person to ever exist second only to Octavian, maybe, but Y/n very clearly liked him so it didn’t make sense. At least not until he talked to Hazel and Piper one afternoon as they made a pit stop in a small town to get some groceries.

“Maybe I’m just dumb, but why is Y/N avoiding Leo? I thought she liked him and he clearly likes her back” Frank asked.

“Look they’re both my friends and I’m not taking sides here, but just because he had a sudden change of heart doesn’t mean she automatically has to forgive him,” for someone who wasn’t picking sides, Piper was being pretty clear how she felt.

“Forgive him for what?” Hazel looked lost

“What do you mean change of heart?” Frank asked

“Look Y/N asked me not to talk about it she feels awful enough as is without everybody knowing what Leo said” Piper said looking slightly torn, she didn’t want to betray y/ns trust but its not like she promised her anything.

“Okay but it's not like I’m going to go to Y/n and ask her about it, I’m just trying to figure out what happened. One moment she’s laughing with you in the hallway Piper, and the next she’s crying and ignoring Leo whenever he tries to talk to her,” Frank explained, “from where im standing it makes no sense, she’s clearly liked him for weeks, but now that he is trying to get with her she just pretends he doesn’t exist.”

“No I’m sorry but that is so not what’s happening” Piper said all worries about betraying Y/N seemed to disappear pretty quick, “I don’t know why Leo all of a sudden is all over Y/n considering he told Hazel there was no way he’d every date Y/n”

“Wait, he told Y/N about our conversation?” Hazel looked more confused than ever, “because if they talked about it, then she knows he’s in love with her, he admitted it right after he said that , he was just scared she left without saying anything because she didn’t like him.”

“Wait so he does like her” Now Piper was confused.

“So they both like each other? I was right, but this still doesn’t explain why Y/n is all mad at him then.” Frank looked a little too pleased with himself for someone who still had no clue what was happening.

“Of course he likes her, I mean he’s totally in love with her,” Hazel acted like this was the ost obvious thing in the world, “but I’m with Frank here, if she likes him too I don’t get why she’s mad.”

“Because she went to go talk to him and heard him say it was never going to happen between them, and she just left” Piper stated

“Which means when I went to Y/N’s room and she was crying its because she didn’t hear the rest of the conversation” Frank said

“And Leo took my advice to tell her he loves her, but” Hazel continued

“She won't listen to him because she’s upset” Piper finished

“So, what do we do?” Frank was asking the important questions.

“I mean we should probably let them handle this on their own right?” Hazel, sweet innocent Hazel couldn’t be more wrong.

“No, we have to set them up,” Piper looked at hazel who clearly disagreed, “and before you say anything, think about it, we need the two of them on their best behavior if we are gonna save Percy and Annabeth and what better way to make them get along than if they’re getting it on”

“Getting it on?” Hazel asked

Frank looked panicked. “What Piper means is we need them to date, or at least be willing to be in the same room with one another.”

“And how are we going to do that,” Hazel asked.

“Easy, divide and conquer” Frank said

When Hazel, Frank, and Piper got back to the ship, things were worse than when they had left. It seems Leo had given up on trying to talk to Y/N, instead he had resorted to leaving when ever she walked in the room, and at one point at lease according to Jason, while fighting a monster who had gotten on board, the two were so busy arguing they almost killed each other instead. This could only mean one thing, they were going to need more help to set the two up so Jason was enlisted in the plan. It started simple at first, Seats were taken strategically at the table forcing Y/n and Leo to sit either directly next to each other or across from one another. It didn’t make for a pleasant dining experience to say the least. For the first few meals most of the dinner conversation went from bad to worse.

“Can you pass the salt” Y/N asked, the shaker was right in front of Leo, and while she’d rather not talk to him, her mama would’ve killed her for not using her manners at the dinner table.

Nobody moved. The silence was thick, it was salt for gods sake, one of them could just pass it over, but it was right in front of Leo and he wasn’t moving.

“Leo, can you pass y/n the salt” Hazel whispered, may he just hadn’t heard her.

“Oh she was asking me,” his voice was dripping with sarcasm, “I thought we weren’t speaking.”

“Yeah well if we aren’t talking you may as well just shut up and pass the salt” Y/N’s voice was laced with venom.

“What’s your problem” Leo practically jumped out of his chair.

“Me? I don’t have a problem”

“Oh please it looks like you have plenty of them”

“Okay, that’s enough you two” Jason tried to intervene before it went too far, it had been the same conversation for the past 3 meals and it never ended well, “Leo could you just give her the salt.”

“That depends, is she just going to use it then disappear?”

“Leo-“ Jason warned”

“Fine take it, whatever makes you happy right Y/N” He didn’t wait to hear ehr response before storming off.

Clearly they needed to try harder than that. So that night Piper, Frank, Hazel, and Jason devised a second part of the plan. If the root of the issue was Leo thinking Y/N didn’t like him and that’s why she was ignoring him, and Y/N overheard the conversation where Leo insisted he wouldn’t date her, then it was up to everyone else to subtly tell let the two know just how wrong they got things. The plan was mostly Jason’s idea, but he was definitely right. Piper was almost annoyed she didn’t think of it sooner, especially considering her mom was the goddess of love and all that. So they set into action, Frank and Piper would patrol the deck while Leo was steering the ship and talk about how Y/N is clearly just upset because she thinks Leo doesn’t like her just loud enough that he would overhear, Jason would have Y/n help him make dinner and be a bit more direct asking her what’s happening between her and Leo and do his best to push her into talking to him. Hazel was the final step, if nobody could get them to make up she would do her best to guilt trip them into speaking, she wasn���t sure how yet but she’d come up with something should the need arise.

Leo’s POV

Steering the ship late at night got boring, sure one of the others gladly would’ve taken over if he asked, but none of them quite understood how to operate the whole ship, well no one except Annabeth. Besides he wasn’t getting much sleep nowadays anywhere, maybe it was the impending war with Gaea, or the fact that his best friend hated him, but he was up all night all the time. If he was going to be awake he may as well be productive. So he steered the ship, checking the radar on occasion and talking festus when things got a bit too quiet. He knew Piper and Frank were on patrol and would eventually make their way in to talk to him, but until them Leo was left alone with his thoughts. He didn’t have any clue what he did to Y/N but he knew she had no reason to be ignoring him after she left him alone that night. Plus, he tried talking to her more than once to tell her how he felt, but she wouldn’t even give her the time of day so really she was the problem. Clearly that night together meant nothing to her so he decided it would mean nothing to him. He no longer loved Y/N. It would be much simpler that way. At least that’s what he told himself as the exhaustion started setting in.

“Look Piper, I know I’m not Leo’s biggest fan or anything but I don’t understand why Y/N just tell him how she feels” Franks voice broke through the steady beeping of machinery as they walked down the hall.

“It’s because she overheard him talking to Hazel and now she thinks he doesn’t like her which is ridiculous”

Y/N overheard him talking to Hazel? That couldn’t be right, she’d left and he didn’t see her all day. He thought back to that morning as he talked to Hazel when it clicked, he swore he had heard footsteps, it must have been Y/N.

“I get that, but why didn’t she just talk to Leo”

‘Frank, you’re the one who found her crying that night, she probably felt terrible and didn’t want to get hurt but talking to him again. We all know she isn’t the best at emotions.” Piper’s voice sounded weird.

“Yeah well neither is Leo.” That wasn't weird especially coming from Frank, but still he didn’t need to say it like that, “ But its pretty obvious to everyone but Y/N that he is head over heels in love with her. Maybe he just needs to give it one more shot, you know, talk to her alone and apologize for what she overheard and explain the full story. If he tells her he’s sorry and just explains he was worried she’d reject him, she would definitely forgive him and they could just live happily ever after.”

“Either way until one of them decides to be the bigger person and talk to the other, we’re in for a long ride.”

It was settled, as much as he would never admit this publicly, Frank was right. He needed to talk to y/n and he needed to do it now before she could hate him anymore. He put festus into autopilot and did his best to pretend he didn’t overhear Piper and Frank talking.

“Hey Leo, didn’t know you were still up” Piper said casually

“Of course, someone’s gotta keep this ship moving if were going to get to Percy and Annabeth in time” Leo forced a laugh, he didn’t really have time to stand here chatting

“Well we will be here all night if you need anything,” Piper offered

“Actually I have to run down to the boiler room for a few minutes if one of you wouldn’t mind keeping and eye on the radar, we don’t really have time to deal with any monster attacks right now”

“Yeah you got it bro, and hey dinner is in like 5 minutes try not to come back covered in grease or Hazel may kill you” Frank said with a smile

Leo didn’t even have time to think about how weird Frank was acting, like seriously when had Frank ever referred to anyone let alone Leo as bro. Still Leo was already on his way down the stairs to the living quarters, he needed to talk to y/n.

Y/N’s POV

Y/N was just about ready to go hide in her room for the next 3-5 business days, or at least until they reach the doors of death, whichever ever came first. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally exhausted. When she wasn’t patrolling or trying to come up with some sort of plan to save the entire world, she was arguing with Leo, and when she wasn’t arguing with Leo she was thinking about him. Actually she thought about him basically 24/7 but she didn’t want to think about that too much. Leo was a condescending little jerk, and he didn’t deserve the space he held in her mind, now if only her brain would get the memo. All Y/n wanted was a distraction. If she were back at Camp Half-Blood right now it would be easy to get her mind off Leo. She would just curl up with a book or do target practice with Will, heck she’d even volunteer for extra shifts in the med bay if it meant getting her mind off things, but abroad the Argo II the only distractions they ever seemed to get were monster attack and Y/N really did want one of those. So she settled on taking a nap. All she had to do was curl up under her blankets and at least until dinner she wouldn’t have to think about Leo and his stupid, adorable, obnoxious face. So that’s what she did it felt like she’d only been asleep for a few minutes when there was a pounding at her door. Y/n walked over to open it, surprised to see Jason there of all people.

“I need your help” He said looking but panicked.

“Yeah of course, what’s wrong” Y/n was concerned, it wasn’t like Jason to ask for help and she was the last person he’d come to normally. It was weird, something must be seriously wrong.

“I was making dinner and I burned basically everything and I mean you can’t even eat it and we only have like 20 minutes till dinner I need your help.”

“Can’t someone else help? I’m a terrible cook.” Y/N insisted, it wasn’t that she was all that terrible, it was just not something she really enjoyed doing. Baking on the other hand was her favorite.

”I can’t ask Hazel she made dinner the last 2 nights, Piper has never cooked a day in her life unless you count cereal, and Frank is Frank, he’d say yes because he’s too nice but he’d be miserable. Plus he’s already on patrol right now so it wouldn’t be fair to pull him off to help me cook.”

“Fine, I’ll help but you have to help me make breakfast tomorrow then”

”Deal” He was quick to agree.

So Y/n and Jason made their way down to the kitchen, there wasn’t any evidence of burned food but Y/N figured Jason had already gotten rid of it. The two of them worked side by side to make up a pasta dish that hopefully looked like it was the original plan. It was actually pretty nice, Jason’s no Y/N hadn’t had time to hang out in a while and it was nice to catch up. They talked about all sorts of things, what they wanted to do after the quest was over, their favorite movies, and Y/n least favorite topic as of late, Leo. Jason was good Y/N would give him that much. Despite her managing to avoid the topic so far he was able to sneak it in when they were talking about their favorite foods on the ship.

”I mean your breakfast sandwiches are killer Y/n but i really think Leo’s the best chef here” Jason laughed hoping Y/N wouldn’t snap at him for mentioning Leo’s name.

”I hate that you’re right” Y/n admitted, looking rather annoyed at herself for doing so.

”What happened between you anyways? It’s like all of a sudden someone flipped a switch and you went from loving each other to hating each other, did he do something because I’ll kill him.” Okay Jason was definitely being weird, he wasn’t normally one to but into peoples lives.

”I have no clue what you’re talk about.”

“Don’t lie, you guys were fine and now you can’t be in the same room without screaming at one another, so clearly something happened.” Jason insisted, Y/N just didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just drop it.

”Jason, seriously its fine,” it wasn’t fine.

”Look you’re both my friends, and I know all of us being trapped here can get intense sometimes, but he likes you and you like him. Maybe you should just talk it out.”

“And we are done here, I’m going to my room to clean up before dinner. I'll see you in 5.” And with that Y/n walked away effectively ending the conversation.

Gods, she should’ve known something was up. Since when had Jason ever wanted to talk about feelings, he was plotting something. Scratch that, Piper was probably the one plotting something since nobody else would be able to get Jason involved. Besides, he didn’t know anything, Leo didn’t like her and it was like nobody besides Y/N could get the hint and move on. She closed the door to her room before quickly changing out of her current clothes. Just as she was tying up her hair there was another knock at the door.

”Hey Y/n dinner is in like 2 minutes wanna walk up with me?” Hazel asked.

”I’m changing right now so just go without me”

There was no response, y/n continued to tie her hair up when there was another knock.

”Hazel I said go without me”

”Um, its not Hazel, can I come in and talk to you for a second?”

Leo. This is just what she needed, she could probably just say no and head up to dinner now right? Besides anything he had to say he could say in front of everybody else at this point. It wasn’t like everybody wasn’t up in her business anyway. She debated what to do for another minute when Leo’s voice rang out again.

”Y/N? Please I know you’re in there” He said it with a slight laugh, almost involuntarily she smiled, its like he knew she was trying to figure out how to escape the room without talking to him.

There was only one thing she could do at this point, so Y/N opened the door.

There was a palpable tension in the room. Leo shuffled in awkwardly unsure what he should be doing, is this the sort of conversation you have sitting or standing. Should he keep the door open? Maybe he should close it, the walls on the ship were pretty thin so if y/n decided to murder Leo someone would probably hear it. No he’d keep it open, that way if things went south he could just run away.

”What do you want Valdez,” Okay straight to the point, clearly this was going to be harder than Leo originally thought.

“I’m sorry.” Gods that wasn’t what he wanted to say, well it was, but he had so much more to say and he couldn’t find the words.

“Okay if that’s all then I’m going to go grab dinner”

“No that’s not what I meant,” Leo said quickly

“So you’re not sorry? Great talk Leo” Y/N began to push her way to the door.

“Y/n stop.” His voice seemed to echo in the room, y/n froze and turned around to face him. “Please Y/n, I need you to hear me out and when I’m done you can chose to hate me if that’s what you want but first i need you to listen, promise me you’ll listen.”

“I- I promise” Y/N had never seen Leo like this, he looked worried, upset, gods when she looked at him its like she could see all the sleepless nights engraved in his eyes.

“I’m terrible at apologies, I normally just make a joke and laugh it off but I’m not joking about this, I need you to know I’m 100% serious with what I’m about to say,” He looked at you as if waiting for you to shut him down, to break your promise instead you just nodded. “That night we spent together was basically the best night of my entire life and I was really happy because I’ve been in love with you for ages, basically since the first day I laid eyes on you. And when you disappeared without saying anything I panicked. I thought maybe it didn’t mean anything to you, I thought maybe you regretted it so I talked to Hazel. And I know I said some awful things, I said that I would never date you but I was lying, I was just hurt and trying to pretend I wasn’t. Gods Y/N I’d give the world to take it back but I can’t, and that’s what you overheard, me being an asshole because my feelings got hurt.

“And I know you had no reason to stick around but if you did you would know that i also told Hazel I was in love with you, not was am, I am in love with you. And I didn’t know you overheard me, Hazel told me I needed to talk to you so that’s why I kept trying and I wouldn’t leave you alone, and clearly you were mad at me but i didn’t know why at the time, and I know i was jerk to you and I can’t undo that but I’m hoping you’ll forgive me. Gods, I’m such an idiot and I should-“

Gods the boy could ramble forever if you’d let him, but you didn't have time for that. Instead you cut him off by kissing him.

”Wait, so does this mean you forgive me?” Leo asked

”What do you think” You laughed leaning in to kiss him again.

”Well I want to think yes, but I’m pretty sure we’ve established thinking is not my strong suit”

“I forgive you Leo.” His face lit up, “and I’m sorry too, my feelings were hurt and I didn’t give you a chance to explain anything, and you should know I only left because I was worried, I mean what do you say to your best friend after-“

“after you blurred the lines of your friendship and haven’t figured out what comes next?” He finished for you with a laugh.

“yeah”

“We really should get better at this whole talking thing, it would probably save us a lot of trouble.” He smiled, taking you into his arms.

“Speaking of trouble we should probably make our way up to dinner before one of them comes down here.” You smile and start pulling him to the door.

Okay so I know that about halfway through I started writing she/her instead of you but in my defense I stayed up all night writing this and also I’m literally just a girl.

[honourablejester]

Starfinder Deity Spotlight: Groetus

God of empty places, oblivion, ruins. An apocalyptic god of unknown origin, Groetus is the distant and malevolent skull-like moon hovering over Pharasma’s Boneyard—a dispassionate observer who patiently waits for the end of all things. Groetus has no organized faith.

--- Starfinder Core Rulebook (2017)

Morilux: Shipyard of nihilism. Founded in 301 ag by a disillusioned shatori leading a cult of Groetus, the god of the end times, the spaceport Morilux provides its faithful populace a clear view of the dying star around which their planet, Astevint, orbits. Morilux’s squat, makeshift shelters are built amid twisting brass ruins that jut from the ground like the ribs of some dead metallic titan. A jagged chasm tears across the settlement’s center, above which perches Absent Abbey, the port’s primary religious building.

Originally, Morilux simply served as a refuge for doomspeakers to contemplate entropy. However, the nearby dwindling star attracted astronomers who have politely coexisted here for years. Morilux also seems to be a magnet for ruin, with an unlikely number of disabled starships serendipitously sputtering into the area. At first, the Groetans reveled in the dying spacecraft, but eventually, enough ships sought repairs that the faith developed a new tradition: imperfect repair. For a meager fee, Morilux’s nihilistic mechanics repair visiting spacecraft on two conditions. First, the crew must attend the Groetans’ religious gatherings (even if they don’t participate directly), afterward releasing any crew who wish to remain. Second, the starship’s repairs never bring it back to peak performance; the mechanics always leave or even introduce minor flaws that gradually contribute to the vessel’s eventual failure.

--- Starfinder: Ports of Call (2023)

Okay. So Groetus is actually a Pathfinder deity too. He’s the strange skull-faced moon hanging over the afterlife dimension of the Boneyard, waiting for the end of days where he’ll turn out the lights, as it were. But it’s his Starfinder incarnation that I first fell in love with, and almost entirely because of the above entry in Ports of Call.

Because. Look. He’s the uncaring god of doomsayers and nihilists, written about primarily by madmen. He’s not really that interesting? He doesn’t do much or say much. He really is hanging around just waiting for his job to finish at the end of days.

But. When you put his followers into a continuous situation. When you take a nihilistic cult and give them a community, give them a location, make what happens around it their problem, to the point where they have to begrudgingly interact. Like. Morilux is fantastic. ‘Look, all we’re trying to do is have a peaceful dying settlement looking out on a dying star to while away eternity while awaiting the end, and in order to stop your damned shipwrecks cluttering up the view, we’re going to fix you up just enough so that you can limp off and die somewhere else’. Like, it’s callous and cruel, but also kind of hilariously begrudging? Imagine arriving here, your starship dying around you, desperate for a port, any port, and you arrive here. Randomly. Flung out of the drift around this dying sun. And these incredibly dour and incredibly aggravated doomsayers on the nearby planet offer you only the barest skeleton of a repair, with the explicitly stated goal that you go do your dying elsewhere. The despair and the fury and the disbelief you’d have to feel. But you accept, because what else can you do? And you leave on a wing and a prayer to any other deity.

I also love how they had to … Groetus in his Pathfinder incarnation actually had an anathema against artificially extending something’s lifespan, as well as giving hope. In Starfinder he’s too minor to have stated anathema, but I don’t see why he wouldn’t still have that one. So Morilux is playing fast and loose, here. To repair something at all rather than accept its inevitable end is borderline heresy over here. But when you put your cult of nihilists in a continuous situation. When you give them neighbours and an actual temple and a space port to have to look after. Lines get blurred. So we work out some … theological work arounds, a little light heresy, that’ll just shunt the problem off onto someone else. Which is great. A living breathing religion here. Ironically, given the deity that’s in it. Heh.

I also just enjoy the aesthetic of his cults. He’s the god of empty places, oblivion and ruins. His temple-spaceport is built on a planet orbiting a dying star, amidst the titanic brass ruins of some ancient and unexplained civilisation, in a temple called the Absent Abbey. We’re here, we’re chilling, we’re contemplating the inevitable end of all things. (Or we would be, if people would just stop annoying us). Again, he gives me some Sunless Sea vibes. A weirdly charming cosmic horror. You know?

He's not the most interactive of gods. Mostly, he’s just there, a symbol of the inevitable end. But he’s got a weird little religion (or maybe more a bunch of weird little religions) built up around him, and I really do feel that they add a lot to the setting.

And, just. Morilux is amazing? Such a fantastic location to add in.

[running-tweezers]

Between Erik’s BG3 video, working on a DAMN crew D&D fic, and starting to play D&D again for the first time in months. I have been having many thoughts about Redacted characters and D&D.

(DAMN crew will not be included bc all my thoughts for them are going in my fic, hopefully)

— Guy takes so many notes during sessions. He’s always over there scribbling away, one would think he’s so dedicated. But if you look at his notes it’s just pages and pages of jokes and commentary about what’s going on that make no sense out of context. They are not in any way helpful but they are HILARIOUS.

— Avior is a Rules Lawyer. Which is usually seen as a negative thing. But he’s more of a Rules Lawyer for good. Like a Pro Bono Rules Lawyer. He’s not the guy arguing with the DM over rules, he’s the guy reminding his fellow players of that one ability their subclass has that they forgot about and would be really useful to them right now.

— Asher gets really superstitious about dice. He rolls all his d20s before the session and picks the one that rolled the highest. If one of his dice is rolling poorly, it goes into dice jail to atone.

— Vincent is a little Dice Gremlin. He has SO MANY dice. Dice of all kinds. From cheap sets to gorgeous custom handmade sets. Metal ones. Semi-precious stone ones. He has to get a new set of dice for every new character he plays that matches the aesthetic of the character. But despite it all, his favorite is still a cheap Chessex set from a game store that he’s had forever.

— Marcus and Kody are both “That Guys”. If you’ve played for a while you know what constitutes That Guy. You do not want to be That Guy. But they’re That Guy in different ways.

Marcus plays D&D like it’s a single player game, with no regard for if his actions might affect his fellow players experience. He’s the kind of guy that would “it’s what my character would do” his way to ruining everyone’s good time.

Kody gets pissy if something he tries to do doesn’t work. He rolls a nat 1, and then argues with the DM about it. Then when the DM says rules are rules he pouts the whole rest of the game and stops participating.

— Nick would be That Guy, but he tries to bring some HORRIBLE unbalanced catboy race homebrew he found on Reddit to his DM that would 100% break the game. And the DM politely turns him down and suggests he could just play a Tabaxi. But that’s not good enough and now he doesn’t want to play anymore.

[jlan22]

ok look, this has been scratching my brain the past few days and i had to let it out, fair warning though it's not THAT shocking it just fascinates me and i was going insane as the damn linebeck stan i am

midway through this blog i just checked the zelda wiki and hyrule historia again and found out 100 years passed since then, so just a small warning this is all BEFORE i found out about the 100 year gap between the games, and theory's rather going with the more "logical" 70-80 years

This is basically related to Phantom Hourglass and Spirit Tracks, and specifically Linebeck himself. Based on some rambles of mine one random night at 4 am, with no prior research but facts from Hyrule Historia, and autism.

In Spirit Tracks, you come across Linebeck III, who looks very similar to Linebeck himself from Phantom Hourglass. He gives you a letter from his grandpa, which is signed "Linebeck Senior". Initially I thought; "Is his grandpa Linebeck's father? Is Linebeck this guy's dad, then?" But turns out I was wrong.

I was reading Hyrule Historia the other day (i have the french version, hence the french screenshot underneath) and it says that Linebeck III is not only Linebeck's descendant as mentioned in-game but also his grandson. Therefore, Linebeck Senior is in fact the guy we all know (and love) from Phantom Hourglass.

don't worry, i got you covered, put a translation at the top as well

But then I was confused. I asked myself; "Wait, how did Linebeck ALREADY have a grandson???"

Putting Linebeck aside, if we pay close attention to Niko, the silly hehe pirate from Tetra's crew who appeared since Wind Waker, we notice that he's aged up, from possibly a child/teen to a grandpa. I'd like to pretend Niko's around 14-15 during TWW and PH.

So if we think about it, a lot of time has passed since the events of Phantom Hourglass, let's say 70-80 years. we love you grandpa niko

Anyway, going back to Linebeck, let's say he's in his 40s, and so is Linebeck III (maybe younger, he seems like it), and if we still say that the average human life expectancy is 80 years, that means Linebeck III is born when his father's the same age, being 30-40 years old.

If we take this same pattern with Linebeck (Senior) and his child (Linebeck II), that means...

Linebeck's a father during the events of Phantom Hourglass???

i'm honestly shook over this fact idk why. it's just so funny to me to think of linebeck as a dad, seeing his personality and the way he acts and so on. i just always see him as some bitchless pathetic stinky garbage man LMAO

With whom did he even have this child? Jolene? Who knows?

Personally, I just think it's funny to think of Jolene's being after Linebeck's ass because of that child he possibly abandoned. But that's not the canon reason why she's after him, that being just pure revenge.

honestly i'd like to think of it like that it's just hilarious like "LINEBECK FOR FUCKS SAKE WHERES THE CHILD SUPPORT"

However, if we delve into the more canon timeline, being ST happening 100 years after PH, that would mean that Linebeck possibly had his child after finding land, by the end of PH. It's either that, or he could just be much older than I thought (like, maybe 60?) and he's already had his child.

and niko's old as fuck and somehow still thriving

wild

thanks for listening to my rambles baibaiii

[theskyexists]

I think its hilarious that Andy Weir made the go-getter administrator who's supposed to organise saving the world Dutch. Stratt is not a Dutch name btw. So maybe German heritage or marriage. The blunt, direct, no nonsense, even unintentionally rude stereotype which is often correct in small ways is a funny little in-joke. I even think he got the speech pattern in English correct....

Wow powerful woman...

I will say this: he didn't find out how to make the astrophage release energy? He found out how they reproduce? So... Why did they say that? Are they just burning these lil dots?

How is the astrophage what it is. How is it not destroyed by pressure and such. And.

Why in the heck would they swerve around going from a CO2 rich planet back to the sun... Is that really more efficient than simply covering a planet in yourself and being a plant basically?

Ok so he did find out how the astrophage release energy, as in, move themselves with light.

What's the problem with the sun dimming if Eridians don't get any energy from the sun?/sunlight doesn't reach them?

Oh I actually felt so sad for Leclerc, when he cried.

And I love Stratt so much lol. Who was bright enough to put her in charge. She's the perfect 'war'-time leader. Completely selfless.

Oh. Im so sad for rocky. 46 years. Oh no...oh no.

Oh Stratt was being sexist... That's not realist. Will Weir refute her via Ryland? Yeah he did. Hah. That's cool.

Its weird that Rocky hasn't considered: if I am no longer in my workshop, then I won't be protected from radiation.

Did they not test the teams/teammates for psychological compatibility???? Oversight

I dont really get how they can catch astrophage without getting blasted apart by their insane speeds hopping from planet to sun and back.

"Life can be pretty picky about temperature ranges."

EXCEPT ASTROPHAGE? and all the other cells in the cold vacuum of space?? They just skipped over them. Hello??? What's their secret? Do they also smash neutrinos together or whatever?? I couldn't follow that physics bit

Aww. The team all liked him so much because he's so normal and easily upset by e.g. their approaching deaths.

I'm a bit worried that Weir is going to prove Stratts sexism right by having Shapiro and DeBois back out because she got pregnant or something. But that's really not in line with the vibe so maybe they just both get killed because of their entanglement... I still wouldn't like that. Honestly Stratt's throwback to 'two men one woman sex will make advanced astronauts revert to cavemen' seems like a deliberate callback to all those sci fi books that insist on the inherent murderous explosiveness of male sexuality.

'math is procedure [not thinking]' uh yeah it is biologically.

Weir shunting in a lil personal theory on intelligence being based on gravity. Interesting. But the reason why Rocky and protag are same intelligence is the same reason their civilisations are about as advanced: they wouldn't otherwise have met.

It's hilarious that Ryland is like: I miss my kids they looked up to me. EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD PROBABLY LOOKS UP TO YOU RIGHT NOW MY MAN

Yeah. At the last possible moment, astrophage exploded the place that Shapiro and DeBois were in. Damn. Ok but its kinda on Stratt TO BE HONEST. That she let prime crew role member and same secondary crew role member hang around the same place together at all. In a way.

This seems to imply that they left Shapiro and DuBois to do an experiment on ASTROPHAGE TOGETHER. what??? That they cause the explosion even.

Why let the science crew at an astrophage at all? WHY LET THEM AT IT TOGETHER??? HELLO????

honestly why was Stratt so lax about all primary personnel safety all along including herself?? Why was she on the airplane carrier that was doing experiments with bombs????

Ok but how the HELL did astrophage develop these abilities????

Also. Why. Uh. Why bother with a natural predator if you can just prick em. Aren't there lots of creatures that can prick other cells. Though probably not in nigh-vacuum...

How did they make a spaceship without electronics.... ...huh??? How does the robot work on the outside of Rocky's ship? ....what

Ok so they don't have procedures for testing astrophage. BUT ALSO WHY WERE BOTH ESSENTIAL CREW MEMBERS IN THE SAME ROLE TESTING EDGE CASES??? HELLO???? HOW WAS THAT ALLOWED??? HELLO???? STRATT????

Ok but she kept a tertiary science specialist then i guess she kept tertiary other specialists. But also. The narrative acts like she had no part and final responsibility in letting her specialists do dangerous ass stupid tests. Like there aren't a hundred other people they could have gotten to do TESTS AWAY FROM THE IMPORTANT CREW

Why would you wait for his answer. Just get the next in line out NOW.

In fact. Why the heck wouldn't they train up at least six understudies. Theatre shows even do that. This narrative development was the one I was reading towards and it turned out stupid.

Also. They got a biologist for tests, an engineer for maintenance, and a commander. Was the commander the navigator and maths guy? Or are all astronauts supposed to be able to do what Grace does? Complex space calculations? Like. Lucky he remained in form firstly and secondly that hes so gifted at physics????? He's a biologist right? But I guess also a physicist?

Stratt doesn't respect Grace? Even now? Then she is kind of an idiot after all. Like all very strong-minded people are ... Too convinced of herself. She relied on Grace for a huge part. And she doesn't respect him? Because she herself could never be a coward. That's idiotic. She cannot forgive cowardice because she herself finds it much easier than others to be ruthless.

I could accept this twist a little more if the leadup had made more sense. Stratt is murdering Grace for sure - but the narrative insult of her having been able to prevent that by explicitly training up additional crews instead of quietly training Grace PLUS doing a better job of keeping the prime crew from STUPID DANGEROUS EXPERIMENTS - and the actual insult of calling him a COWARD while doing it - that's like. That was their last interaction. Makes me feel vindictive. Hope she regrets it. She wouldn't regret sending him against his will. But the damn insult to somebody who she has worked closely with, who delivered extremely important discoveries, who did every single secondary administration.

Ok so. And important point of Grace for Rocky was that he had science equipment. But now Grace is like: eh. Rocky can make better equipment. Why didn't Rocky think of that lol

On the other hand Grace HAS proven to be kind of a reckless idiot again and again and again.

Right they've got electronics but not transistors. Right.

I feel like Weir should have spent a little more flashback on Grace bonding with his 'crew' and 'friends'.

Why the FUCK would you send out your beetles while on the trip. Send them out before you start on the risky way home. Why is Grace such an idiot.

Stratt goes to talk to Grace. I don't know I've soured on her. Not because of what she chose to do to Grace but the way she did it.

She doesn't even leave him in fucking peace

Ok so I don't like how Weir did this scene either. It didn't give Grace a moment of grace. And it didn't give Stratt the chance to say: well the good thing about you going is that you won't be here when everything is going to hell. Think about that.

Why are the taumoeba farms manually fed...? Didn't Grace want the option of going into coma...?

HE WENT BACK TO ROCKY AND HE WENT BACK TO SAVE ERID AND ROCKY COULD BARELY SPEAK OR BELIEVE IT GRACE CAME BACK WHEN ROCKY THOUGH ABSOLUTELY ALL HOPE WAS LOST

Taumoeba are like normal amoeba...ok. but then why is it the only thing that can eat astrophage

He did it. And Earth doesn't even know that he did it. That he did it alone. Or that he met aliens, and they worked together to do it. He probably didn't even write it down and put it on the beetle. None of it. (Because he's kind of an idiot). Like. He probably didn't even tell them about the aliens!!!! Come on!!!! Anyway he's teaching little aliens.... Lovely

[alysannesconfessions]

Chapter Eleven: The Path to Dressrosa

The Thousand Sunny sailed smoothly under the moonlit sky, the sea calm after the chaos they had barely escaped. Punk Hazard burned in the distance, but no one was looking back anymore.

They had won.

And now, they celebrated.

The kitchen was alive with energy, the crew buzzing with conversation as Sanji’s cooking filled the air with mouthwatering aromas. Luffy was already drooling over the feast, his eyes sparkling as he stared at the sheer amount of food on the table.

“ALRIGHT!” Luffy cheered, smacking the table with both hands. “LET’S EAT!”

Sanji, already irritated, smacked him over the head with a ladle. “WAIT UNTIL EVERYONE SITS, YOU DAMN GREMLIN!”

Luffy whined, rubbing his head. “BUT I’M STARVING!”

“You’re always starving,” Nami muttered, rolling her eyes.

Shadow, already comfortably seated, smirked at the scene. “Some things never change.”

Zoro snorted, leaning back in his chair. “Yeah, like Luffy eating us out of food stores every damn time.”

Sanji sighed dramatically, placing a massive tray of roasted meat at the center of the table. “Well, if we run out of food, we’ll just have to throw him overboard.”

Luffy gasped in horror, gripping his plate protectively. “YOU WOULDN’T!”

Sanji smirked. “Try me.”

Usopp wiped fake tears. “Rest in peace, Captain.”

Brook laughed. “Yohoho! That would be quite the bone-rattling experience!”

Law, who had been quietly standing near the entrance, arms crossed, watching the insanity unfold, exhaled sharply.

What the hell had he gotten himself into?

Shadow, catching his hesitation, kicked out the chair beside her. “Sit down before Luffy eats your share.”

Law narrowed his eyes at her. “You assume I want to stay.”

Shadow smirked. “You assume you have a choice.”

Brook tilted his head. “Captain Law, do you not eat with your crew?”

Law raised a brow. “Not like this.”

Franky grinned. “WHAT, YOU MEAN WITH FOOD AND LAUGHTER AND PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKING EACH OTHER?!”

Robin chuckled, sipping her wine. “It must be quite the adjustment.”

Law sighed heavily.

Luffy gestured wildly to the empty seat. “Torao! Sit! We’re all gonna eat together!”

Before Law could argue, Luffy grabbed his arm and yanked him down into the chair.

Law glared.

Luffy grinned.

Shadow laughed.

“Eat before Luffy steals your food,” she warned.

Luffy, already reaching for Law’s plate, froze as Law’s cold golden gaze pinned him in place.

“…I’ll just eat mine,” Luffy muttered, retracting his hand.

Usopp whistled. “Damn. That was a death glare if I’ve ever seen one.”

Sanji lit a cigarette, smirking. “Welcome to the madhouse, Trafalgar.”

Zoro raised his cup. “You either keep up, or you get trampled.”

Brook laughed. “It’s survival of the fittest, yohoho!”

Law pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly wondering why he had agreed to this alliance in the first place.

Shadow, amused by his suffering, nudged him. “Just eat, Captain.”

Law sighed but picked up his chopsticks anyway.

Shadow, watching him, smirked. “Careful, Captain. If you enjoy this too much, you might actually start liking it here.”

Law huffed. “Doubtful.”

Robin smiled knowingly. “We’ll see.”

As the meal stretched on, the warmth of camaraderie filled the air. Stories were exchanged, drinks were passed around, and even Law found himself answering the occasional question.

Luffy, grinning mid-meal, pointed his chopsticks at him. “Hey, Torao, what’s your crew like?”

Law paused, caught slightly off guard. “They’re efficient.”

Sanji raised a brow. “That’s it?”

Zoro scoffed. “Sounds dull.”

Usopp waved a hand. “Come on, man! Any funny stories?”

Law exhaled. “Bepo gets stuck in doorways sometimes.”

Silence.

Then—

Brook burst into laughter. “THAT’S HILARIOUS!”

Luffy cackled. “BEPOOOO!”

Franky slammed the table. “THAT’S NOT JUST FUNNY, IT’S SUPERRRR FUNNY!”

Even Robin chuckled.

Law, clearly regretting sharing anything, sighed. “This is why I don’t talk.”

Shadow, barely holding in her laughter, smirked. “Oh, you’re never living this down, Captain.”

Law glared at her. “You’re enjoying this too much.”

Shadow leaned closer, voice dropping to a teasing whisper. “And you’re adjusting too fast.”

Law stiffened.

She was right.

This shouldn’t feel… comfortable.

But, somehow, it did.

The night stretched on, the crew laughing and celebrating as the waves carried them toward Dressrosa.

Law, watching them, exhaled.

Shadow was still smirking at him.

And despite himself—

He wasn’t entirely dreading what came next.

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

How would you do a BatFam/Mass Effect crossover?

1. Jason joined the alliance. He did that as a fuck you because in this AU, he didn’t die. Because his best friend was a Salarian exchange student who figured out his identity and is helping and found evidence that Shelia was sketchy. Jason though is still fighting with Bruce about everything and joins the Alliance to piss off Bruce. Jason however ends up on Akuze and ‘dies’. Aka Cerberus got him.

2. Tim is a biotic and has a backstory heavily similar to Miranda’s in that he’s been bioengineered to be perfect. He hates it. He’s much happier with Bruce who cares so much and never went off the deep end. Bruce spotted the abuse, did the searching and found the sketchy experiments.

3. Dick ends up being offered a C-Sec position he takes for the experience as this is part of an exchange program. He loves it so much he stays on the Citadel with his new partner on the force Garrus Vakarian. At least until Shepard comes along. Then Dick is off saving the galaxy in body armour instead of spandex.

4. Jason is found killing Cerberus agents. He’s taken the name Charon and is brutally murdering them. Toombs is with him as a side kick. Dick begs Jason to stop but he won’t listen and just vanishes instead. Now the Batfam is facing off against Cerberus and Dick reveals his identity to the crew. Garrus finds it hilarious. They both end up on Omega later. Dick is still not a killer but he is a vigilante still.

5. The Reapers are just fully fucked. They are. Even with just the BatFam they’re fucked, add in all of DC? Damn. They’re ruined.