#aka chaos lmao
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gunsatthaphan · 6 months ago
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🪳😨
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notthecity · 1 year ago
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me, getting into lovejoy: ok I never liked the dsmp but this wilbur guy's band seems cool, he's such a perfect tumblr indie frontman, let's see what he does for on his online carree—
wilbur soot on twitch dot com: *beatboxing* hey you wanna see some fucking MEMES?! *default fortnite dance* *minecraft parkour* *shockingly good acting when he needs to* fuck uhhhh shitpenis :] also I am a cultist and a chef and I robbed a fucking bank but it's okay because I'm sowwwy OwO
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paperbackfable · 4 months ago
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Erend: they don't Id me at the liquor store anymore because they see the light has left my eyes
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Erend: We're playing Scrabble. It's a nightmare.
Alva: Scrabble? Scrabble's great.
Erend: Not when you're playing with Zo, it's not. They put words like "ephemeral" and I put "dog".
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Varl: You're ignoring all your problems.
Aloy: I know.
Varl: You also know it's an unhealthy coping mechanism?
Aloy: I'm ignoring that fact as well.
Varl:
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Zo: In your opinion, what's the height of stupidity?
Aloy: turning to Sylens How tall are you?
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Aloy: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
Sylens: Oh yeah? You're the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD.
Aloy: I'm leaving you, and I'm TAKING BETA WITH ME!
Varl, picking up the strike board: I think we're gonna stop playing now.
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Aloy: Want do you want to be for "Halloween"?
Beta: Loved.
Aloy: Don't do this.
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Sylens: I will not stand to be disrespected like this!
Aloy: Then sit.
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Alva: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life...
Zo: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back.
Aloy: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this.
Beta: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years.
Erend: I knew I lost that potential somewhere.
Varl: Mental stability, my old friend!
Alva: Ancestors, could you guys lighten up a little?
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Varl: What do you think Kotallo will do for a distraction?
Aloy: Probably, like, whistle or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
Building explodes and several car alarms go off
Aloy: ...or they could do that.
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OK THAT'S ENOUGH I SHOULD PROABLY STOP NOW BYE
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six-six-cicada · 5 months ago
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updated refs . wahoo
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cookinary · 1 year ago
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You didn't think My Friend Pedro was the only thing I'd spiderify, did you??
Just a dumb AU where a random radioactive spider sneaks on Chai just before the surgery (like his MP3 player did) so he gets spider powers!
He doesn't have a web launcher on his robot arm, he just uses the magnet
And since Spider-Man can canonically lifts 10 tons, this Chai could actually beat Roquefort!
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etdraconis · 3 months ago
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( I can't tell if this guy in the library is laughing or sobbing right now... )
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lesbianneopolitan · 10 months ago
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I had a big dream that continued the plot of another that I've had before, in which I was a goddess AU version of Neo, akin and closer to my DnD campaign version of her as the goddess of chaos
it was p dramatic because I was being evil, and there was also a musical part and I swear it was a damn banger, so it's a pity there ain't a dream recorder or something
like I'm not even good at singing but I was pulling good verses out of my ass there wtf
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randaccidents · 8 months ago
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Heartless AU something about Mind visiting Apathy daily because he can't go a day without an argument with Heart, they are they are natural opposites and so logically they must fight. Something about Mind Feeling Too Much because of the shot and attempting to shove all the emotion of it onto Heart, because its his job and domain to deal with. Yelling it out into the pit where Heart simply yells back at him.
Something about Mind taking the first opportunity presented to him to put Heart down. That, upon finding out that Heart's punishment has been extended, his first words were "You thought they were listening? Now don't be absurd." Something about the fact that Mind kept visiting afterwards. That he kept up the usual arguments of Emotion being unnecessary to the body. Something about the fact that Heart did ask Mind for help, and Mind took that weakness and spat on it, pushing Heart down further, because he's only thinking in terms of winning and doesn't realize that Heart is genuinely seeking help.
Something about the fact that Mind had front row seats to Heart fading away. That he heard Heart grow quieter and argue back less and saw it as him winning. That he watched Heart get more and more dejected and saw it as Resident Heart being feeble and frail. Something about how, when Heart asks for that final confirmation that he is unneeded, asks if it is true that Ethos only harms, that Mind tells him yes.
Something about how Mind is the first to find Heart unconscious and makes the assumption that he is sleeping or ignoring him. That Heart's silence deafens more than any sound. Something about how Mind continues to abandon Heart even after Heart has abandoned himself, because he is too narrow minded to see the red flags.
Something about how, seeing Soul burst into the house with Heart's limp body, so small and missing parts of himself, Mind would blame himself for not noticing that something was wrong. Because Mind was there for the entire process. And he might not know it yet, but he actively contributed to the loss of their Heart.
Something about Mind forcefully staying clinical and detached, or the horror of having had the chance to prevent this from happening and doing nothing will cripple him, and one of them needs to transmute this pain to kinetic energy.
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combeferres-mothematics · 7 months ago
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Anyone else ever get randomly smacked in the face with memories and immediately want to go write a kid fic?
Or is it just me?
#Aka Emile is remembering going camping with his friends as a small child#And how fucking chaotic it was#We were just allowed to run wild over the whole campground because our group rented the whole loop and everyone was watching out for everyo#I still managed to cross like 2 roads when I was 5 and got lost and they weren't busy but a stranger still stopped me to ask if I was lost#And all the boys would bring their lightsabers and nerf guns and we would have whole battles#We even made little forts in the woods and stuff and we were fighting to protect the 'dragon' (friend's dog)#I was always either the spy or the doctor#There was also the time my brothers thought it would be really fun to tell me to just pee in the woods instead of walking me to the bathroo#I was delighted#My parents were not#And the swimming hole was cold as fuck but we somehow still got in it every year#And jump off the giant rock in the deep end of the river once we were good enough swimmers to handle the current#Once or twice we went tubing there too which was my first experience with that#And there was hiking with waterfalls nearby so we'd go do that#And that one swinging bridge that was really fun to run across#And we'd stay for like a week sometimes#I swear all the parents got the best sleep ever when we went too even though they were sleeping on the ground lmao#all us kids would end up in each others tents if they were okay with it#And all I can think looking back at it now is that a les amis kidfic would be fun to write off all that#Emile's chaos#I have so many more camping memories too
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orcelito · 1 year ago
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Another morning another day
I've been thinking a lot about going to the animal shelter
#speculation nation#there r many cats there and i have an aching spot available for one#passively thinking about getting a kitten. just bc id enjoy getting to raise a cat for once#and i think tally would be a good big sister given how much she groomed cassy#at the same time tho i wanna adopt a cat that might not otherwise be adopted so quickly. aka an adult cat#& also like with tally. i very purposefully picked out the loud black cat bc everyone was passing her up#but she was YELLINGGG at me from the cage. and i was like 'oh alright' and took her home#and now shes my sweet darling girl. she just needed like a year to chill out so she is no longer a chaos demon lmao#it's also hard to know what youre getting with a kitten. and it's a lot of resposibility. so like. idk.#but also. Kitten Cute... 🥺#i'll have to see what they have when i go there. still not happening for at least a few more days.#it feels too soon rn. but im thinking about this all to cope lol. i hate having only one cat.#i keep wanting to go out to greet Cat Number 2 in the living room. but. nope. so i go back to greet tally on my bed#she's a loving cat but she does Not like to be smothered. and im kind of smothering her lmao#that's another reason to get a 2nd cat. yes i want tally to have company when im gone at work#but also i need a second cat that is very affectionate bc I Want My Hugs And Kisses Dammit#idk when im getting his ashes back. probably somewhat soon. id estimate tomorrow? they were rly quick with sammy's#idk what im gonna do if they call while im at work lol. cry probably.#tho i havent cried in almost a full day!! been like 22 hours. i have been Trying to cope. mixed results.#ah well. c'est la vie and all that shit.#animal death ment/
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andcars · 16 days ago
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# 𝗠𝗩𝟯𝟯 ─── GAMER MOMENTS MASTERLIST⠀REQUEST ME⠀TAGLIST⠀PATREON GUIDE⠀AO3
YOU'RE A MINECRAFT STREAMER and get in contact with some new guys. one of them won't stop bullying you. it's kinda silly how he acts like he's being subtle that he's trying to flirt with you.
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TAGS. . . # fluff, bullying as flirting, pining max verstappen, 'oblivious' reader, minecraft streamers
FIC STYLE. . . # social media au (instagram chats, tweets)
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zsync
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ty FSMP for having me. that being said, hopefull i didn't give too much of a bad impression to some of ya'll....
liked by albonono, grussell and 7,742 others
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stellaroit i MISSED A ZSYNC STREAM?!?!?
orrifices RIP it was a funny stream
stellaroit what happened the vod isn't out yet
rudemi played minecraft in a new friend group and just decided to cause chaos towards this other streamer the entire time
angeleles who the hell is this lion33 dude and why did he have to hog all the wheat
divissx CHAT THE FURNACE IS NOT FURNACING!! highlight of the stream
lion33 mate i need u to leave the smp
albonono You're just jealous she got all the diamonds in the main island
lion33 completely unrelated
zsync (i'm not) sorry max
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ynpng
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chat i am not washed at minecraft
liked by alexalbono, georgerussell and 219 others
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georgerussell Disagree
ynpng like i ASKED
alexalbono Slay
alexalbono Btw why're u off priv do u know that
ynpng yessir
alexalbono Suspicious
alexalbono Are you joining the server soon. Max is annoying me
ynpng stop hogging my comments + maybe idk i'm still bitter abt him killing my cows
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lion33
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appreciate @ albonono for letting me on his stream. i do have his password now btw
liked by albonono, grussell, zsync and 13,611 others
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zsync WAS THAT WHY ALEX WAS JUST MUTED THE ENTIRE TIME?? IT WAS YOU??
lion33 lol
albonono @ zsync he was enjoying receiving flowers from you too much
lion33 your base? exploded.
shouula i love having a pov of max smiling like an idiot when yn was treating him like alex (aka kindly)
vrikrik real. yn is living the y/n life. what i would do to make him smile like that
albonono If u wanted to flirt do it on your own stream I literally went to piss
lion33 ???
massuech dude this is the weirdest softlaunch ever
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zsync @ zsyncc · 28 October i'm never playing this game again
141 replies 881 reposts 1.8k likes
Max V @ lion33 · 28 October — Replying to @ zsyncc ur being dramatic lol my house was griefed i needed somewhere to stay 41 replies 331 likes
mia 🕸 @ webberstrr · 28 October — Replying to @ lion33 just say you wanted to put your beds together in minecraft and leave 2 replies 6 likes
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EVE @ eeves1 · 28 October so we agree that max and yn were flirting the entire thing right
14 replies 7 reposts 63 likes
EVE @ eeves1 · 28 October — Replying to @ eeves1 i don't like rpf but it is kinda funny how max was goading yn on like a kindergarten with a crush 3 replies 7 likes
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zsync
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my beautiful house before it was INVADED BY THE DUTCH (also here's the mirmir bath pics ya'll begged for)
liked by albonono, grussell , lion33 and 7,742 others
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pineeapper KITTYYY
lion33 you could've just said no
zsync would u have taken no as an answer?
lion33 no haha this is what u get for stealing my diamonds
littelorrenst chaotic stream as always
piapastry no one else gonna question the weird domesticity of her and max? no? ok
albonono Why're you reposting the mirmir pics from your "priv" account
zsync because i can
lion33 what? u have a priv?
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Yn | You are now private messaging @ ynpng 142 followers · 521 posts
lion33 this isn't private lmao
ynpng no i just took it off priv for a bit
lion33 oh. ok btw like do u wanna film something tgt soon
ynpng yea sure why not
lion33 cool cool yea friday?
ynpng sure
lion33 shared a location
ynpng huh
lion33 where we can meet. alex told me you live near me so
ynpng wait omfg i thought u meant like stream
lion33 oh it's ok if u want it to be just a stream like minecraft or smthn
ynpng no no its okay. i need new vid on my main yt anyways
lion33 u sure? lol it's ok if u dont wanna film irl w me
ynpng stop being such a hard ass maxy. i say yes to filming
lion33 cool. thanks btw i really like ur videos 👍
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zsync
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causing chaos in the toy store in my new video. thank you @ lion33 for featuring and being my slave for the day
liked by albonono, grussell, lion33 and 64,147 others
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wiiredxs never thought id get to see max doing an irl vlog willingly
hamiston who messed with the timeline why am i seeing max and yn tgt
vrikrik RIGHT like max flew a plane just to film this video 😭 they live in diff continents
lion33 sighs
albonono Your flirting technique sucks
lion33 shut the fuck up
orrifices am i delusional is this not the equivalent to teasing ur friend over his crush
grussell Yn, I hope you're seeing this
zsync seeing what
grussell Crikey...
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Yn | You are now private messaging @ ynpng
georgerussell I don't wanna be the bearer of news... But Max has a crush on you
ynpng that's crazy dawg
georgerussell Okay I need some more reaction than that Me and the guys' GC have been talking about it ever since the first FSMP stream
ynpng whattttttt he's whatttttttt
georgerussell What in the Have you like known this the entire time
ynpng George. The man is a Monaco based streamer. I do not live in Monaco. He told me that Alex said we live near each other. I can kinda tell when people have a crush...
georgerussell And that's just your reaction!? I still expected something!
ynpng ill give u a reaction if he does something more obvious in the next stream
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zsync @ zsyncc · 8 November fsmp birthday stream 2nite y'all. wish me bday luck i need netherite
568 replies 7k reposts 12.9k likes
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EVE @ eeves1 · 8 November alright are we ever going to talk about how max (and im entirely sure it's max) put netherites in yn's chest like that was so cute...
27 replies 142 reposts 628 likes
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♠ | FIO @ butt3fl1es · 8 November WHY DID I ENTER THE STREAM TO MAX MAXPLAINING ABOUT MONACO BOYS NOT BEING FUCKBOYS!?!?
WHAT IS HE YAPPING ABT
16 replies 7 reposts 88 likes
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#33 @ quetoii · 8 November someone needs to tell max his cam is still on everyone can see him giggling after yn thanked him for his gift
23 replies 98 reposts 218 likes
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dumb blonde moment @ jaccalps · 8 November — Replying to @ quetoii it's his fault anyways like no one streams minecraft w their cam on for maximum laziness
2 replies 6 likes
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ynpng 🔒
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@ lion33 thanks for the present! and you, I guess. but seriously, you need like better courting skills. my nephew could do way better than you and he's 3yo
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alexalbono I'm sorry, courting!?
ynpng if bullying me counts as courting yeah
georgerussell ... No one won the bet
lion33 this is why you don't start a bet
georgerussell Mate, no one expected you to try and get with her like two weeks when you first met
ynpng ok to clarify, we are not dating. he's funny and he's rich so im letting him try
layladook girl whyre you a red flag 😭
lion33 my fave color has always been red
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🗒 𝗣𝗔𝗣𝗘𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗟 . . . ok so i decided to do like my tweets as the text so it was easier for me to make this + less images uploaded. feel free to tell me if it's better or bad from how i used to do it before. anyways this was funny to write. i love minecraft. i love that max loves minecraft. it's just a bunch of tomfoolery around here also, my birthday is actually on the 8th so lil easter egg lmao ˎˊ˗ ᝰ.
──── 📨 @delululeclerc @hiireadstuff @bicchaan @fallingforpvris @rtorresblog @tribbisweetdear @jamie2305 @mv1simp
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you support me best on tumblr with reblogs and comments ! ── by andcars ⟡
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infamous-if · 22 days ago
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It's Halloween! What tropes would the cast be in a slasher film?
I think I answered this last year lmao but it's nice to have an updated one!
I feel like m!G would be The Jock/ f!G would be the Cheerleader character. They're definitely the one that throws the huge house party in every slasher film. And they die first lol
August is of course the self-aware guide. (aka Randy from Scream 1) They're the one who knows horror movies and tries to tell the group what to do and what not to do. People suspect them pretty briefly but it doesn't last because they die lol
Personally I think Seven would be the character that everyone suspects is the killer but actually isn't. They are also the Skeptic, very logical and disinterested. They die in front of everyone as usual.
The Skeptic title would also belong to Dakota and Blake. Dakota would be more of the disinterested skeptic while Blake is the skeptic that provokes the killer to come out and makes it a joke.
O feels like they'd be the killer to me idk maybe it's because they're calculated and just hold in their emotions so much that they're bound to snap…but they'd first be presented as the Cop character
Seb is the Boyfriend, the sweet character that somehow always shows up after the chaos and is never around when it actually happens. He's suspicious but innocent. He can also be the Hero, usually the character that helps everyone.
MC is of course the final girl (gn). Who else would it be? But Victoria also gives me Final Girl as well. She'd definitely survive the entire movie. She's smart and would question everything.
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palajae · 3 months ago
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episode three. | park sunghoon
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PAIRING ▸ host!sunghoon x reader
GENRE ▸ ouran high school host club!au, high school! au, romance, fluff, angst, humor
WC ▸ 3.1k
SUMMARY ▸ host park sunghoon: the strong and silent type. with his cold, tsundere personality and killer good looks, it’s hard not to fall for sunghoon. his connection to sunoo is of utmost importance; however, you could be the one to change that. (but be warned, he’s a man of few words.)
AKA episode three of the kiss, kiss, fall in love! series
AN/NOTES ▸ social awkwardness, not proofread
sorry okay it’s been a fat minute since i posted but FINALLY JAE has gotten the next part out ‼️ i really channeled the engene in me for this one lmao.
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EPISODE THREE. Beware the Ice Prince!
seriously, you only started attending the en-host club because your friends did and you really had nothing else to do.   
you had heard several of the boys in your grade were in the infamous club, but besides that, you had no interest in “club” affairs. 
natty and lily wouldn’t stop talking about how “chivalry wasn’t dead” and how “god had favorites.” you figured by going, you could kill some time and meet some new people.
mainly due to the fact that you were attached to the hip to your… well, sketchbook. what better to utilize the people around you for your passion? 
and the most pretty ones were—obviously—found at the en-host club! 
by going there, you could observe and hopefully see some good art. 
while your friends had their favorite designated hosts and activities, your first entrance to the club involved a lot of awkward silence and muttering. 
“you mean, you don’t want to hang out with any of us?” sunoo—you think—frowns. 
you shake your head, stammering. “n-no! i just, prefer to be alone. i can just-like-sit in the corner or something.”
he brightens up and you breathe a sigh of relief. 
“i see. you just like the company?” 
you nod and the host smiles again. “that’s fine. you don’t have to be entertained by one of us. you’re welcome as much as you like! you could even sit by sunghoon!”
your eyebrows furrow as you follow sunoo’s line of sight to-
oh dear. 
probably the finest man you’ve ever laid your eyes on. 
a true work of art. 
your heart pounds uncomfortably in your chest as you glance back at sunoo.
“he doesn’t like to talk much either, so i think you two will get along well!” 
you look uncertainly at the controlled chaos happening all around the room, before back at sunoo. 
he nods encouragingly at you. “don’t worry. even though sunghoon looks like it, he doesn’t bite. in fact, it’s probably the opposite.”
holding your breath, you clutch your sketchbook tighter in your hands before approaching the table sunghoon was quietly sitting at. 
he didn’t even do anything, yet you felt so intimidated. 
wow, it was really stifling to be in his presence. awkwardly, you take a seat. and although he doesn’t move, you feel his eyes land on you. 
biting your lip, you hesitantly wave. 
that was it. no words exchanged. 
after a while, you finally began to relax. still, neither of you said anything. you even felt alright enough to open your sketchbook. 
your eyes would travel across the room, although they always landed on the same person. the one sitting in front of you, silently sipping his tea.
so you sketched. and you enjoyed it. so much to the point you returned the day after, and the day after. 
eventually, the hosts came to know you as a regular. they knew your exact order and your routine. the same every time you came—even without your friends. 
they understood that you simply appreciated sitting and observing. with all the things going on at the club, you enjoyed staying off to the side the most. 
like sunghoon. 
after the first day, you couldn’t work up the courage to approach and sit next to him when he wasn’t with sunoo hosting. 
that was fine. you had eyes. you could sketch him as long as you could see him. pages, filled with a variety of sketches, began to fill up your notebook. 
and most of them were of sunghoon. 
who were you kidding—all of them were of him. every outfit in every season, every expression of his (and he rarely showed emotion). you basically memorized sunghoon’s face. 
and in your time observing at the en-host club, you realized you had only heard him speak a total of six phrases: welcome, goodbye, yes, no, and thank you. 
he more than piqued your interest, but you were far too shy and unmotivated to do something about it. 
checking the clock, you sigh wistfully while putting your sketchbook back into your bag. as always, this was your time to leave. occasionally, one of the hosts would notice you leaving and wave goodbye. 
this time, you’re almost to the door when a tall figure suddenly appears in your line of vision. 
you falter, swallowing abruptly when you realize it’s sunghoon. he looks dashing in his pink hoodie and light jeans—someone mentioned the boys had a boyfriend concept today.  
you stare up at him curiously until he steps closer to you. your mouth dries up at the close proximity. you feel like you can hear your blood rushing in your ears. 
sunghoon doesn’t say anything, as per usual. instead, he walks over and holds open the door for you. 
for a second, you don’t move. and then it hits you. 
what the what the what the, he opened the door for you! 
you quickly squeak out a thank you before practically dashing out of the club room. you’re not sure if you heard or imagined the soft “get home safe,” coming from his voice. 
was he watching you? is that how he knew to open the door? why did he go all the way to help you? did he know what time you usually left? 
you fall onto your bed with a sigh. you were overthinking, and you were delusional. just a little bit. 
perhaps, you would work up the courage to talk to him next time.
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you swear you’re not that delusional. most of the time it was you who was staring at sunghoon, sneaking glances at him when he wasn’t looking. whenever he was busy hosting. honestly, your best works were of his stunning side profile. 
but something feels different from that day forward. 
like…like sunghoon was the one staring at you. at first, you were sure you felt eyes on you. 
you would glance up from your sketchbook with a frown, glancing around the room. it was at that moment you would catch sunghoon turning away from you. 
but in what world would he be looking at you? 
he didn’t say a single word. 
it happened so often to the point where you would actually meet his eyes before looking away. you always broke eye contact first. 
this back-and-forth occurred four times before you decided to do something. yes, you counted. 
you decided to remind yourself that you only live once, and you took the chance. you finally stopped being a coward and sat next to sunghoon, one lovely afternoon. 
he seems almost shocked when you approach him, like your very first day at the host club. 
once again, no words were spoken. you simply smiled before taking the seat. unlike the other girls who usually fawned and squealed over him, all you did was sit and enjoy his company. honestly, he was so familiar to you at this point, you actually felt comfortable.   
and when you thought he wasn’t looking, you liked to sneak peeks at him as well. he was even more breathtaking up close. 
that became your daily routine whenever sunghoon was free. although it was absurd, you once thought that maybe he looked forward to sitting and watching with you. 
“what’s up with you and sunghoon?”
“h-huh?”
natty leans over from her desk to shoot you a look. “i mean, what are you two doing in the corner all day?”
you look down at your desk bashfully, “it’s not all day…i just enjoy his company.” 
lily laughs, “sure. i bet you have a lot fun staring at him.” 
you feel your face get hot as natty elbows her. “i think the two of you are cute. even if you have nothing to say to each other.” 
“yeah, i don’t know how you managed to get so close to him. sunghoon is pretty detached from the other girls. he’s just there half the time with sunoo.”
your heart quickens. was that true? 
lily sighs, almost face planting into the table. “what up with all the boys recently? heeseung has been so obsessed with that one student who i don’t even know the name of since they’re so busy studying all the time. and then the top two people of our class are constantly preoccupied with each other. at this rate, i’m gonna move to jake…”
you nodded in contemplation. she was right, you’ve seen heeseung following around your classmate like a baby duck following their mom. even weirder, the two smartest people in your grade started to sit together at the club. 
you were there for it all. 
“sim jaeyun? um, I’m not sure about him. he and riki have a lot of crazy fan girls,” natty wrinkles her nose. “hey, i did hear there was a new host! his name is jung…jung-something.”
“jungwon,” you finish for her. she nods, “i think he’s pretty handsome.”
“not as much as sunghoon though,” you unconsciously mutter. 
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sunghoon can easily remember the first day you walked in, eyes wide like you were a kid on their first day of school. the corners of his mouth tilt up slightly. you looked like a baby kitten. 
he catches himself, focusing back on sipping tea while sunoo devoured his sweet treats. 
“do you want a bite, hoon?”
he shakes his head amusedly at sunoo’s bright expression. 
“you should stop eating so many sweets. you already had two slices of cake today.” 
while sunoo pouts and gets up to put his plate away, sunghoon refocuses his attention on you. he didn’t mean to—his gaze was just drawn to your presence. 
he watches wordlessly as sunoo approaches you. you looked so intimidated, sunghoon already felt bad and he didn’t know the reason. 
he catches himself again, internally chiding his own behavior. get a grip, you’re a host. 
suddenly, you’re approaching him. you look like a kitten again in front of him, just like when you first walked in. his whole body tenses. 
sunghoon waits, yet you don’t say anything. only a simple wave and that’s enough to light a fire in his heart. 
he’s surprised to see you sit down and pull out a sketchbook. he observes as you flip through the pages, trying to sneak a peek. but then he realizes he’s being kinda, really creepy. 
so sunghoon purposely turns away to focus. look anywhere but at the person sitting across from you, he repeats to himself over and over. 
after that day, he noticed you didn’t sit next to him. for quite a while. 
so, he chose to watch you. he watched you walk in every afternoon with a hesitant smile. he watched as you took the same seat near the window and pulled out your scuffed up notebook to draw. 
he watched how your lips pursed when you weren’t happy with a sketch, or how you would stop to think while looking around you. 
sunghoon liked the way your eyes lit up when you turned to a blank, fresh page. and when you would smile and greet the other hosts, gratefully accepting a cup of tea. even the look of concern you had on your face as you watched jake and riki do something stupidly dangerous again. 
the thing he liked the most, however, was when he felt your eyes on him when you thought he wasn’t looking. 
sunghoon’s not sure why, but he likes it. after all, he couldn’t say anything. he did the same thing to you. 
he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. 
that’s why, when you sit across from him one day with that stunning smile of yours, his breath hitched. 
sunghoon… wanted to say something. he tried, really tried, but no words would come out. he couldn’t think of anything to say. 
apparently, that was fine with you. you relaxed in the silence, so he did too. 
it’s not like he meant to, but he snuck a glance. he was so curious as to what you had been working on in that sketchbook of yours. he knew it had to be your prized possession, the way you carried it around everywhere. 
sunghoon certainly wasn’t expecting to see his own face, beautifully drawn. it was him from a few weeks ago, last week, and yesterday. he remembers the detective concept and outfits they adorned. 
you… you sketched it all. all this time, you sketched him? 
he’s truly speechless, and everyone knew it was hard to make the stoic sunghoon react. 
“…are you friends with y/n?” he randomly asks one day after the club had closed for the day, completely out of the blue. 
sunoo tilts his head, “we’ve talked. why?” 
heeseung pops by, “did i hear hoon’s got a crush? who could have warmed the cold tsundere sunghoon’s heart?”
although he wants to roll his eyes, he simply looks away. 
“y/n?” riki calls from where he’s playing catch with jake, “the one who doesn’t say anything and draws all day?”
“they could if they wanted to,” sunghoon remarks quietly. riki shrugs. 
sunoo watches sunghoon with an inquisitive expression. 
he’s never seen his friend act like that with the other guests before… 
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“it’s his birthday soon?” the words spill out of your mouth without even realizing it. you stopped, overhearing some girls sitting near you. 
they eye you, and it registers in your head that they know you’re the one whom sunghoon often sits next to. you seem oh so close to him, and yet you don’t know his birthday? you feel embarrassed, making your way to your normal seat.
“hoon? yeah, his birthday is in three days,” sunoo nods. “why? are you planning something?” 
you’re quick to shake your head, flustered. “nono, i was simply curious… thanks for letting me know.” 
alright. you officially have three days to find sunghoon a gift. 
it’s only then it hits you. you know close to nothing about sunghoon. other than the fact that he was a host, you barely knew his likes or dislikes. heck, you barely even spoke to him. 
you’re doomed. all the other guests were probably going to get him extravagant gifts that were exactly to his liking. 
you? you scrambled to find something that would come in three days. and you weren’t even sure if he would like it. at the least, he could regift it to someone else if he really hated it. 
you clutch the small gift bag nervously behind you as you enter the host club. 
usually, decorations would be set up for the members’ birthdays. however, sunghoon never wanted a big celebration so they would get him a simple birthday cake every year. at least, that’s what sunoo told you. 
sunghoon wanted his birthday day to feel like any other ordinary day. you hoped you could stay true to that. 
or…not.
the sight of said host rejecting someone’s gift to him is the first thing that greets you. your smile immediately falters. 
he didn’t like gifts? your heart begins to race. crap, crap. what were you going to do? you couldn’t hide the gift—someone would find it. it was obviously who it was for, with the big fat words happy birthday printed all over the bag. plus your names written on it, addressed to sunghoon. 
your eyes follow him to his usual seat, only for your heart to drop. 
sunghoon looks around expectantly. almost like, he was… looking for someone (you). he does. almost immediately. 
if you move, he’ll see the bag behind you. heart racing, you decide to charge ahead and approach him. you couldn’t face a rejection of the gift you spent hours trying to find, but you also didn’t want to leave him hanging. 
you walk over nervously, doing your absolute best to hide the bag and appear unaffected. maybe he wouldn’t notice, right?
wrong. sunghoon was probably the most observant person on the earth. his eyes immediately fall to your suspicious hands.
it was over. his eyes flick back up to you with a questioning look in them. 
you close your eyes briefly, internally falling to your knees. well, there was nothing else to do. 
you nervously thrust out the bag towards him, hiding your face as you softly say,
“happy birthday, sunghoon.” 
you hold your breath and wait embarrassingly for the painful rejection. 
spoiler: it never comes. 
“thank you.” 
hearing his voice causes shivers to run down your spine. your eyes fly open. did he just…accept your gift? and more importantly, he spoke to you?!
he takes the bag and puts it aside on the table. 
“are you not going to open it?” 
he looks at your expectant expression before beginning to unwrap the gift. 
“i thought maybe we could share,” you mumble. 
sunghoon carefully opens the intricate wrapping to unveil the gift you ultimately decided on: a smooth, leather sketchbook with pencils. 
“now we’re matching,” you whisper before pulling out your own. 
“i… don’t know what to do with it.”
hearing his voice again still makes goosebumps appear on your arm. you stifle a laugh as you reach over to demonstrate. 
the real sunghoon watches in awe as you begin roughly drawing something in his new sketchbook. when you retract your arm, he’s finally able to see what you did. it’s a beautiful drawing of a cake and the words, happy sunghoon day! 
he glances up at you with wide eyes. you shrug and only look away. to your surprise, sunghoon determinedly picks up a pen and begins doodling as well. 
soon enough, the first page is filled with random drawings, doodles, and most importantly, meaningful connections. 
you both smile and silently laugh at each other’s drawings. sunghoon’s favorite is your drawing of a baby sunoo and his cake while your favorite is of sunghoon’s (rather awful, yet still recognizable) drawing of the seven hosts. 
this is the first time you’ve felt like you truly communicated with sunghoon, even if it was through a paper and pen instead of words. 
when the page is filled completely, you admire your collaboration work proudly. 
“thank you, y/n.”
your heart warms. “o-of course,” you stammer. maybe you were slightly very internally freaking out that he addressed you by your name. 
sunghoon must’ve seen your bashful expression because he reaches over to pat your head. nothing else had to be said, because in that moment, you felt all your feelings were conveyed. 
park sunghoon was supposed to be the cold and tsundere type of host. yet around you, he felt vulnerable, like you brought out a different side of him. 
as you sit across from him, sharing smiles, you wish this moment could last forever. 
all you can think is that sunghoon’s soul is so pure and needs to be preserved, protected. you really hope you can be the one to forever do that. 
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hadesisqueer · 6 months ago
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I'm bored so rating 4/6 of the Camp Fam for how good their gaydar /j was aka how aware they were of Yaz and Sammy having a thing for each other before they got together (lmao)
Darius: This boy is an angel and very supportive once he found out, but he was too busy leading the group to bother noticing these things and he himself said he had no idea so 1/10. I give him the 1 because he's a sweetheart.
Ben: He was the first person Yaz came out to, and he was extremely supportive, and in Chaos Theory he is still like, extremely supportive of them (he'd take their breakup worse than they would). However, my boy was very oblivious before Yaz told him, to the point that at first he thought Yaz had a crush on him and then it took him a few seconds to process Yaz was talking about her and Sammy when she told him, so, love him but 3/10.
Kenji: When Sammy and Yaz told him they were together, his reaction was being thrilled about it, laughing and hugging them while saying "finally!" so unlike Darius and Ben, this boy had actually noticed before they told him. I like to think he and Brooklynn talked about them sometimes. He gets 8/10.
Brooklynn: She has gay dads so obviously her gaydar is on point /j. When she saw them kissing her reaction was screaming and saying they were finally official, so that speaks for itself. Also these are all from previous seasons lmao.
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So of course she noticed, the girl was always in the middle lmao. 100/10, if Yaz had told her instead of Ben that she thought she had a crush on Sammy, Brooklynn would have been like "thank god you noticed"
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werewolfsmile · 6 months ago
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The Eliot Spencer Details Masterpost
I have been recording details about our beloved Eliot Spencer on my latest watch through. And now, it's finally time to reveal the details!! If I have gotten any details INCORRECT, I beg of you to correct me, at which time, this post will be updated and credit given. (Note: S1 was aired out of chronological order. I am going by chronological episode numbers - aka the correct order - and providing the episode titles as well to minimise confusion.) !! This post contains details from Leverage: Redemption! Read the episode references carefully if you are wanting to avoid certain spoilers !!
Shirtless Moments
S1 E7 The Two-Horse Job: The flashback scene when Aimee asks Eliot what his excuse was for not coming back to her, we see him being dragged/tortured, shirtless. "Tell us what you did with the monkey!"
S2 E2 The Tap-Out Job: Eliot is shirtless for the fight match.
S4 E9 The Cross My Heart Job: Ehh he's not completely shirtless here but whatever. At about 16 mins in, Eliot and Parker are getting changed together, Eliot strips to a singlet then throws his shirt at me the camera. (I didn't include other scenes of Eliot in a singlet here because in this scene he's actively undressing, whereas in others he's not.)
Necklaces
The earliest sighting of his guitar pick necklace is S1 E2 The Homecoming Job. It continues to pop up frequently in episodes, though noticeably less in S1. I thought about recording every occurrence of it here but ... lmao it's in legit waaayyyy too many episodes for me to bother.
S2 E10 The Runway Job: Honourable mention of the necklaces Eliot wears with his fashion week outfit. The longer one is kinda dogtag-esque, the shorter one is ... I think it's a fleur de lis? He also wears a range of chain necklaces later in this episode.
S4 E18 The Last Dam Job: Bird pendant (possibly kingfisher) visible at 34 mins 39 seconds. Full credits to @wolves-in-the-world for this one including the time stamp! You can check out their reblog of this post with more details here!
Dammit Hardison
S1 E13 The Second David Job: The FIRST INSTANCE of dammit Hardison in the entire show! Said upon discovering each other in the gallery, around 4 mins 15 seconds.
S2 E1 The Beantown Bailout Job: Said around 22 mins 30 seconds, immediately following, "What are the odds that Eliot's crotch will actually explode?" Iconic.
S2 E6 The Top Hat Job: When setting up for the magic show and discovering the rabbit missing, roughly 19 mins 45 seconds.
S3 E3 The Inside Job: Running from security, around 31 mins 30 seconds.
S3 E4 The Scheherazade Job: Trying to enter McRory's at the same time, around 1 min 30 seconds.
S3 E5 The Double Blind Job: This is an honourable mention because this time NATE is the one to say dammit Hardison! 9 mins 15 seconds.
S3 E6 The Studio Job: Upon discovering the master tape isn't in the case, roughly 32 mins.
S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job: Eliot and Hardison running in the woods for their lives, arguing as always. This one is a bonus 'dammit' because Hardison says it straight back to Eliot after Eliot yells it at him! Around 21 mins.
S3 E12 The King George Job: Discussing Hardison's forgery work, followed by Eliot regretting touching anything. Around 23 mins 55 seconds.
S3 E13 The Morning After Job: Pretending to be cops and accidentally ending up with a prisoner to take back to jail, around 16 mins 20 seconds.
S3 E14 The Ho Ho Ho Job: Honourable mention of Chaos mocking Eliot by saying dammit Hardison. Roughly 21 mins 15 seconds.
(phew, S3 was rough on Hardison! given what Eliot was going through with the whole Moreau thing.... ooh that's delicious angst)
S4 E5 The Hot Potato Job: Honourable mention for Sophie saying it this time! While playing the role that was meant for Eliot, around 24 mins.
S4 E6 The Carnival Job: Mixing chemicals for a distraction, roughly 25 mins 30 seconds.
S4 E17 The Radio Job: Hardison running away from being thrown off a high floor, around 5 mins.
S4 E18 The Last Dam Job: Sneaking around at the Bellington Dam, roughly 13 mins 35 seconds.
S5 E1 The (Very) Big Bird Job: 'Accidentally' putting a brew pub menu in front of Eliot, around 10 mins 20 seconds.
S5 E15 The Long Goodbye Job: Emotional scene that we do not speak about, around 12 mins 40 seconds.
RS1 E1 The Too Many Rembrandts Job: After knocking Harry out and asking Hardison to help carry Harry, and Hardison refuses. 11 mins 40 seconds.
RS1 E2 The Panamanian Monkey Job: Upon discovering that security is headed to the vault where Parker is, and the only way down there is through the vents. Around 34 mins 10 seconds.
RS2 E1 The Debutante Job: We get 3! In this whole episode! Probably to make up for Hardison being gone for most of Redemption. Anyway! First one when Eliot and Hardison are in Ralphie Roy's place and Hardison has no idea who Ralphie is, around 23 mins 15 seconds. Second is when they're breaking into the elevator and Hardison won't help fight or move the unconscious guards, roughly 37 mins 40 seconds. And third, after the job when Parker says that Hardison was the one who took out all the guards. Around 45 mins 10 seconds.
RS2 E3 The Tournament Job: Right at the start after Eliot says gaming isn't a sport and Parker texts Hardison, so Hardison starts blowing up Eliot's phone. Lmao. Around 4 mins 20 seconds.
RS2 E4 The Date Night Job: After realising Breanna stole his truck, Eliot says dammit, then aims it at a grinning Hardison, since Breanna is already running away. Around 46 mins 50 seconds.
Dammit Parker
S1 E4 The Snow Job: Parker jumps out of a second floor window, Eliot catches her. 15 mins. (Parker gets a dammit from Eliot before Hardison does!!)
S3 E8 The Boost Job: Parker driving erratically, Eliot thrown around in back seat. (Technically there's a pause between dammit and Parker but I'm still including it) 35 min 35 seconds.
S5 E12 The White Rabbit Job: Searching the mark's house, Parker wants to steal a shirt. Again, this isn't technically a proper dammit Parker, as Eliot instead says, "Put it back! Dammit." But I'm still including it because it was aimed at her. 21 mins 20 seconds.
RS1 E9 The Bucket Job: Parker is pretending to be a hacker heavily modelled off Hardison. Not a proper dammit Parker as, again, Eliot only mutters "dammit" under his breath, but still counts to me. Just after 18 mins.
RS1 E10 The Unwellness Job: At end of episode, after Parker admits that she didn't even learn Eliot's name till after the team broke up the first time. 44 mins 30 seconds.
RS1 E13 The Hurricane Job: After washing up on shore and entering the Beacon Inn, Parker and Eliot are bickering about Maria. He doesn't strictly say dammit Parker but there's absolutely no doubt who he's directing the dammits towards. 3 mins 30 seconds.
RS2 E6 The Fractured Job: When farewelling Billy and Parker says next time she'll finish telling him about the robot bodies. Again, it's just dammit not dammit Parker but it's close enough. 41 mins.
RS2 E8 The Turkish Prisoner Job: Another standalone dammit that is most definitely aimed at Parker! When breaking Romero out, Parker says she's a firefighter (with far too much glee), around 14 mins 30 seconds.
RS2 E10 The Work Study Job: A full dammit Parker this time! When Parker reveals that it's super easy to steal from a university and produces a whole bunch of stuff, roughly 22 mins 40 seconds.
Very Distinctive Moments
S1 E2 The Homecoming Job: Eliot ID's the weapon from the gunshots, around 8 mins. Later, he ID's a guy off his knife fighting style, around 18 mins 50 seconds.
S2 E6 The Top Hat Job: ID's a CIA guy from his stance, roughly 7 mins 45 seconds.
S3 E11 The Rashomon Job: ID's the smell of peppermint on Hardison's breath, around 21 mins.
S3 E12 The King George Job: ID's former British paratroopers by their haircuts, 30 mins 10 seconds.
S4 E1 The Long Way Down Job: ID's a former spetsnaz guy by his footprint, 13 mins 45 seconds.
S4 E5 The Hot Potato Job: Honourable mention of Eliot ID'ing ex-military personnel by their stances, he just doesn't say very distinctive. 18 mins 50 seconds.
S4 E11 The Experimental Job: Honourable mention of Eliot ID'ing a helicopter by the whumpa-whumpa (there's 7 of them did you know). Around 7 mins.
S5 E3 The First Contact Job: ID's military satellite transmission by the static, 7 mins 20 seconds.
S5 E9 The Rundown Job: ID's a Navy Seal who enlisted between '90-'95 by his watch, around 16 mins.
RS1 E2 The Panamanian Monkey Job: ID's a drone (Breanna's) from the sound. 11 mins 50 seconds.
RS1 E3 The Rollin' On The River Job: ID's Russian mob by the tattoos, 36 mins 30 seconds.
RS1 E7 The Double-Edged Sword Job: Honourable mention for Maria ID'ing the way Eliot disarmed her gun, 7 mins 50 seconds.
RS2 E4 The Date Night Job: Eliot ID's a guy as not having a distinctive anything - which is what is so distinctive. 20 mins 40 seconds.
RS2 E13 The Crowning Achievement Job: ID's MI6 off their search pattern, 6 mins 50 seconds.
Known Family
S1 E6 The Miracle Job: When discussing Bibletopia, Eliot says his nephew would like it. This is the ONLY mention of a nephew in the entire show, Redemption included; nor is there any direct mention of a sibling beyond this (which leads me to believe that this nephew is actually the son of a close friend/cousin/military buddy, rather than a direct family relation, but that's just my headcanon).
S2 E3 The Order 23 Job: When talking to the abused boy, Randy, Eliot says he has an uncle named Randy.
S5 E11 The Low Low Price Job: Eliot's dad owned a hardware store and he wanted Eliot to take over one day. But Eliot wanted to get out of that small town, so he joined the service. Fought with his dad the night before he left and hasn't been back since. He goes back at the end of this episode and knocks - but his dad never answers the door 😭
RS1 E9 The Bucket Job: While interrogating/torturing Eliot with Red Haze, Bligh says that Eliot's dad's friend from Vietnam has invited Eliot to join them for Christmas. At the end of the episode, Eliot goes to join them for dinner, only to get a message from 'J' that his dad was a no show. This 'J' is widely accepted as Eliot's unknown sibling but that is incorrect! 'J' is Eliot's dad's buddy from Vietnam!
RS2 E6 The Fractured Job: The ultimate Eliot family backstory episode!! (if you haven't seen it yet and don't want spoilers, skip this one!) Eliot was adopted by a black couple, Billy and an unnamed woman, after being abandoned/surrendered at a hospital as a baby. His father was a war hero who got none of the glory and sustained a wound, ruining his civilian career path, so Billy never wanted Eliot to follow in his footsteps. Eliot loved the stories of his dad in the military so joined up to be like him. His mother died while Eliot was on an op and he couldn't get leave to come back for the funeral, deepening the rift between him and Billy. Ultimately, they reconcile, (Eliot says his dad was always a hero to him, Billy say's he's proud of Eliot, they hug), and I cry every time 😭❤️ [Edit: Eliot being a baby at the time of being found at the hospital and consequently brought home by his adopted mother is unconfirmed and my presumption. We have no clear info on his age at adoption. Thanks to @nival-kenival for picking that up!]
Phrases: Ain't
S1 E4 The Snow Job: Said to Nate, right before Nate tells him to go skip some rope.
S1 E9 The Stork Job: Says it twice while conning Irina.
S1 E10 The Juror #6 Job: Upon being told to go help Parker instead of watching a sports game, Eliot takes his beer back.
S2 E2 The Tap-Out Job: Discussing the fights the mark runs, says they ain't the UFC.
S2 E3 The Order 23 Job: Said right before threatening to throw Randy's abusive father over the railing of a stairwell.
S2 E4 The Fairy Godparents Job: Upon spotting a hitman sent to kill McSweeten and Taggart.
S2 E8 The Ice Man Job: After hearing Hardison call himself the Ice Man, says he won't bail him out when things go wrong.
S2 E9 The Lost Heir Job: While trying to get Parker to the court room and end up cut off by the police.
S2 E11 The Bottle Job: When Hardison wants help to clean up Nate's apartment and Eliot refuses.
S2 E14 The Three Strikes Job: When Nate says to meet outside the ballpark but Eliot refuses because now he's sucked into the sport.
S3 E3 The Inside Job: Twice while arguing with Hardison about how to rescue Parker, once when Parker offers him a lift down the stairwell with her on her harness rig and he refuses. This is the most he says ain't in a single episode!
S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job: Once when the militia try to make him kneel, later when the militia kid catches him and Hardison near the train tracks.
S3 E11 The Rashomon Job: When Sophie changes her story to mock Eliot's accent and mannerisms.
S3 E15 The Big Bang Job: When confronting Moreau with Hardison.
S4 E1 The Long Way Down Job: Upon arriving at the base camp and complaining to Nate.
S4 E7 The Grave Danger Job: When looking for a buried Hardison and hearing the sprinklers.
S4 E10 The Queen's Gambit Job: At the end, swearing revenge on Sterling.
S4 E12 The Office Job: Arguing with Hardison about Eliot's sandwich while searching the warehouse.
S4 E13 The Girls' Night Out Job: When trying to convince Nate to socialise at the very start.
S4 E14 The Boys' Night Out Job: Exactly the same as the previous episode, so this one barely counts.
S4 E17 The Radio Job: In the patent office, when trying to figure out who lured Nate into this situation. The same scene is used later as a flashback.
S4 E18 The Last Dam Job: Warning Nate of the consequences of taking a life with your own hands.
S5 E2 The Blue Line Job: When ambushed by Marko when leaving the ice rink.
S5 E9 The Rundown Job: Once when going to wring information on the hit out of Riley, once when Hardison steps on the trigger plate of the claymore.
S5 E13 The Corkscrew Job: First time talking to Betty about how Leonard's a jerk.
RS1 E1 The Too Many Rembrandts Job: Twice when ambushed by RIZ thugs in the warehouse.
RS1 E2 The Panamanian Monkey Job: Once when discussing Ryan Corbett at the start, once when refusing to let Hardison have a turn with the diamond-tipped drill.
RS1 E3 The Rollin' On The River Job: When warning Breanna to be certain of her calculations for how to get him and Parker out of the casino's vault.
RS1 E8 The Mastermind Job: Once when discussing hiring people to overthrow a government, once when discussing how they're going to do like 6 things at once, including saving Harry.
RS1 E9 The Bucket Job: Said twice while talking with Blanche, after Blanche helped rescue Eliot from RIZ.
RS1 E14 The Great Train Job: While digging through the tainted soil with Harry.
RS2 E1 The Debutante Job: When trying to get to Volkov's plane with Parker and seeing that two guards are in the way.
RS2 E5 The Walk In The Woods Job: Talking to Paul after rescuing Harry, who was pretending to be Eliot.
Fun fact: for every ain't that Eliot says, Hardison says at least two more. And that's too many for me to bother recording!
Phrases: Y'all
Never. Not even once.
Hardison, on the other hand, says y'all all the damn time - every season, multiple times, sometimes even multiple times in the same episode.
Honourable mention for Chaos saying y'all as an incorrect mockery of Eliot's accent in S3 E14 The Ho Ho Ho Job.
... Okay, okay! So Eliot says it a few times in Redemption! But only in ONE episode!
RS1 E1 The Too Many Rembrandts Job: Said 4 times when playing a character and convincing people to clear out of the auction house.
That's it.
Aliases
These are all the names that Eliot's gone by or used on cons that I could find, not just full blown aliases.
S1 E1 The Nigerian Job: Detective Lieutenant Carden (the scene with this alias was cut from a lot of versions of this episode)
S1 E4 The Snow Job: Vince Fetkey, Hans Von Schwesterkrank
S1 E7 The Two-Horse Job: Brad Mackie
S1 E9 The Stork Job: Dale
S1 E12 The First David Job: Professor Sinclair
S1 E13 The Second David Job: Professor/Dr Adam Sinclair
S2 E2 The Tap-Out Job: Kid Jones (on the fight match poster)
S2 E4 The Fairy Godparents Job: Coach Brewer
S2 E5 The Three Days Of The Hunter Job: Earl
S2 E9 The Lost Heir Job: Officer Hilts
S2 E10 The Runway Job: Julian
S2 E14 The Three Strikes Job: Roy Chappell
S3 E1 The Jailhouse Job: Dr Abernathy
S3 E2 The Reunion Job: Lloyd Hickey
S3 E4 The Scheherazade Job: Guy Hamilton
S3 E5 The Double Blind Job: Phil
S3 E6 The Studio Job: Kenneth Crane
S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job: Agent Quint
S3 E8 The Boost Job: Skeeter
S3 E9 The Three-Card Monte Job: Detective Moffat
S3 E10 The Underground Job: Eric
S3 E11 The Rashomon Job: Dr Wes Abernathy
S3 E16 The San Lorenzo Job: Ray Laroque
S4 E2 The Ten Li'l Grifters Job: Charlie Siringo
S4 E4 The Van Gogh Job: Lieutenant (only granting him this one because CK played him in the flashback)
S4 E5 The Hot Potato Job: Tom Boonen
S4 E12 The Office Job: Mr Dennis
S4 E14 The Boys' Night Out Job: Luigi
S4 E15 The Lonely Hearts Job: Jackson Cooper
S4 E16 The Gold Job: Tobias Bowden
S4 E17 The Radio Job: Cowboy (*cough* John McClane *cough*)
S5 E2 The Blue Line Job: Jacques "Jack" Labert
S5 E3 The First Contact Job: Willie Riker
S5 E5 The Gimme A K Street Job: Steven Turner
S5 E6 The DB Cooper Job: DB Cooper/Young Steve Reynolds (again, technically not an alias but whatever it's here anyway)
S5 E7 The Real Fake Car Job: Barry McElroy
S5 E11 The Low Low Price Job: Archer
S5 E14 The Toy Job: Carl
Honourable mentions of Eliot being called: "Rambo" by Hardison in S1 E2 The Homecoming Job [thanks @independent-fics for this!]; "Emeril" by Parker in S1 E3 The Wedding Job [thanks @aardvaark for this one!]; "Sparky" by Parker in S1 E10 The Juror #6 Job and by Tara in S2 E15 The Maltese Falcon Job; and "Skippy" by Hardison in S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job.
RS1 E1 The Too Many Rembrandts Job: Will Gallagher
RS1 E6 The Card Game Job: Glenn the Savage
RS1 E7 The Double-Edged Sword: Emmett Milbarge
RS1 E8 The Mastermind Job: Frank Farmer
RS1 E10 The Unwellness Job: Hank
RS1 E12 The Golf Job: Reed Wilkins
RS1 E13 The Hurricane Job: Calvin
RS1 E15 The Muddy Waters Job: Armus Vagra
RS2 E7 The Big Rig Job: Kris
RS2 E8 The Turkish Prisoner Job: Nick O'Brien
RS2 E10 The Work Study Job: New Blood, Caterpillar
Honourable mention of Eliot being called "Skipper" by Hardison in RS1 E16 The Harry Wilson Job.
Known Associates
This is in direct reference to hitters/people from the criminal world that Eliot knew or was aware of prior to the Leverage Team. Quinn is not included in this list due to that distinction (sorry Quinn).
S1 E3 The Wedding Job: The Butcher of Kiev
S2 E7 The Two Live Crew Job: Mikel Dayan
S3 E11 The Rashomon Job: Gutman
S3 E15 The Big Bang Job: Chapman, Damien Moreau
S3 E16 The San Lorenzo Job: Damien Moreau
S4 E4 The Van Gogh Job: Frank, Randall
S4 E6 The Carnival Job: Roper
S5 E4 The French Connection: Rampone
S5 E9 The Rundown Job: Riley
Trivia
S2 E6 The Top Hat Job: Eliot claims he only sleeps 90 minutes a day, and that he cured his claustrophobia as a kid by locking himself in the woodshed behind his house for a couple nights.
S3 E6 The Studio Job: Eliot is nervous to perform in front of an audience, to the point that Parker startles him and she's surprised that she did. Interesting to note that he seems to have no issue playing sport in front of crowds.
S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job: Eliot says he hates beets.
S4 E5 The Hot Potato Job: Eliot chews gum. He does this throughout a LOT of episodes across the seasons but I've only noted down this one episode for it.... thanks, past me 🙄 [Edit: thanks @nival-kenival for more info! Another confirmed episode is S1 E2 The Homecoming Job, and S3 E13 The Morning After Job!]
S4 E9 The Cross My Heart Job: Eliot says he fought a guy with a Nerf sword in Damascus, 2002.
S5 E11 The Low Low Price Job: Eliot drives an F-150 to his dad's house in Oklahoma. This is a THIRD vehicle that apparently belongs to Eliot, in addition to the Chevrolet Silverado and Dodge Challenger we see in other episodes. The F-150 is not seen again.
S5 E12 The White Rabbit Job: Eliot has 'special sedatives' aka a little psychotropic he picked up outside of Bogota.
Eliot mostly walks at the back of the group, presumably to be the rear guard and make sure no one falls behind. See ... just about every damn episode for evidence.
RS1 E3 The Rollin' On The River Job: Parker says that Eliot has cut his way out of an ice cave, escaped a gorilla enclosure, and catered a wedding for the mob.
Eliot is seen wearing glasses throughout various episodes. A flashback in S1 E1 The Nigerian Job shows him wearing presumably his own glasses. All other instances of him wearing glasses (that I can think of) are when he takes someone's glasses for a con. It is unconfirmed if Eliot actually needs glasses to correct his eyesight or not, but is a fandom headcanon. In S3 E1 The Jailhouse Job there is an interaction where Nate ribs Eliot for taking so long in a fight, and Eliot says it's because of new glasses. An argument could be made that this means Eliot does require glasses. [Thanks @independent-fics for picking this up - for pretty much all the details pertaining to Eliot's glasses!]
And there you have it! All the details that I've spent the last 3 months collecting!! Now it's time for me to take a good, long break because my brain is fried! 😂
Once again, let me know if you find any errors so I can update the post. Data from Redemption S2 is where I've most likely missed things, since I don't have it on DVD and it's sooo much harder to scrub through streaming footage to find things. When will they release RS2 on DVD I need itttt.
If you've made it this far, thanks for reading! I hope this post can be a helpful reference for you!
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cantstoptheimagines · 1 year ago
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Hunger (Carmy Berzatto | The Bear)
Summary — Things boil over between you and Carmy.
Warnings & Other Tags ➳ Smut (including a lowkey ‘Chef’ kink, Reader being referred to as ‘good girl’, also like one mention of birth control); Carmy mentions never having a girlfriend, so I’m rolling with that (aka Never-Been-Kissed!Virgin!Carmy is upon us!!); a little bit of angst on the side; mentions of childhood trauma and resulting body insecurities (Carmy); cursing (especially the canon-typical ‘Fuck!’); coworkers to lovers with a touch of idiots in love; some typical Original Beef arguments in the kitchen (including Carmy getting put in his place after being extremely mean); Reader accidentally gets burned by hot food; Reader is a waitress with an attitude; my attempts at casual, non-flowery, awkward, quiet conversation between Carmy and the Reader, so please don’t come after me if it sucks, lmao.
Notes ➳ Word Count is 7,942. This is a slow, slow, slow burn! Enjoy it, baby! ➳ Reader uses feminine pronouns (she/her). ➳ This is slightly inspired by the chaos of Season 1, Episode 7. I also want to add that this draft was started before the release of Season 2, so absolutely no spoilers in this one!
FAQ | Masterlist | Fandoms | Requests | Coming Soon | Schedule  
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Everything was a complete mess. An expected lunch rush had sent everything and everyone at The Beef into chaos.
You had a line of customers waiting on takeout orders while others were hoping for a table to open up. Some had immediately turned around at the door after seeing the crowd.
Richie stood behind the counter, trying his best to keep up. He gave you a nod as you cleared another table. The fake, ‘customer service’ smile on your face fell as soon as you left the dining room and entered the kitchen. Angel and Manny were both instantly by your side, taking the dishes from your arms. 
Your sigh of relief, however, didn’t last long. As soon as you turned, you were met by Sydney, who shoved a dish at you, shouting, “Hands! Once that’s out, I need you to come back for a sandwich and a salad!”
You barely caught the plate, replying, “Heard!” 
The plate was warm against your hands. The food, however, was burning hot when it flew off the dish and onto your exposed skin as someone interrupted your cry of, “Corner—!”
The plate shattered once it hit the floor, covering the tile in a mess of food. Sauce dripped down your clothes and practically seared your flesh. Amidst the hectic kitchen, only Sydney seemed to notice. She stared at you with a shocked expression as tears welled up in your eyes from the pain.
“—fucking going?!”
You blinked, clutching your blistering hand. You could already feel your skin becoming overly tender. Tears began to slide down your cheeks. Nearby, Tina had paused to see what the commotion was about with concerned eyes.
In front of you stood Carmy. Out of everyone who worked at The Beef, he was the person you were closest to. However, that didn’t mean he wasn’t an asshole sometimes, especially when the restaurant was busy like today.
Your eyebrows furrowed, and then you quietly asked, “What?”
The flaring pain you were feeling made it almost impossible to focus on what anyone was saying or doing. Carmy’s words, on the other hand, were loud and clear as he took a step closer and shouted, “I asked if you can watch where you’re fucking going?!” 
Your cheeks were wet with tears, which you couldn’t stop from falling, no matter how hard you blinked. Carmy was toe-to-toe with you. He was so close that you could see the sweat on his skin and the red flush of his cheeks. His teeth were gritted as he stared at you with fiery eyes. 
“Carmy,” you took a deep breath, closing your eyes for a moment, “don’t yell at me.”
He came even closer, shoes nearly slipping on the sauce that covered the tile. You avoided meeting his gaze as you continued holding your injured hand. Thankfully, the other one wasn’t as bad, though it still ached. 
“Why the fuck not, huh?!” he continued. “Open your damn eyes next time—!”
“Carmy, stop!” you demanded. “I’m hurting right now and you’re not helping—!”
“Maybe you wouldn’t be if you used your fucking brain!” he snapped, taking two fingers and harshly tapping them against your temple.
You tried to take a step back, only for him to follow. You pressed your lips together in an effort to contain yourself. Sure, you were used to Carmy’s regular outbursts, but this was on a whole other level.
His nose brushed against yours with how close he was standing. Sydney reached out, placing an arm between the two of you, though it wasn’t much help. Tina was slowly coming closer. Everyone else in the kitchen had stopped working to cautiously watch the scene. Even Richie had paused service in the front to stand in the kitchen doorway, ready to step in if he needed to.
“Don’t fucking talk to me like that, Carmy—!”
“I’ll do whatever I fucking want—!”
Richie finally spoke up, “Hey, cousin, leave ‘er alone, alright—?”
“I’m gonna fuck you up if don’t get outta my face—!”
Sydney was beginning to sweat, “Chef! Please calm down—!”
“If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of my fucking kitchen—!”
SLAP!
“¡Ay, mierda!” exclaimed Tina, mouth agape as your uninjured hand suddenly struck Carmy’s cheek.
The silence that took over was almost deadly. Carmy licked his lips and clenched his jaw. His cheek was already turning bright red with your handprint. A million thoughts ran through his mind as he stared at you.
“If you don’t have anything nice to say to me,” you glared, “then don’t fucking talk, Carmen! You can fuck off instead!”
Carmy kissed his teeth, refusing to open his mouth. Instead, he watched as you whipped around and stormed away from him. You were once again holding your injured hand, in which the pain was only growing worse by the second, as you disappeared around a corner without looking back.
Carmy closed his eyes and ran his hands over his face. He didn’t even need to look at the expressions of his coworkers’ faces to know that he had fucked up big time.
His eyes met Sydney’s as he tugged at his thick hair. She, however, only turned away and returned to calling out orders after shaking her head. Richie, meanwhile, gave him the finger before going back to the front to continue lunch service. Everyone else in the kitchen either gave him harsh glares or stares of disappointment.
“Chef!” he called out, gaining Sydney’s attention. “I’ll be back in a few!”
Sydney slowly nodded, “Heard!” 
Carmy glanced down, looking at the mess that covered the kitchen tile, along with his work shoes. Pieces of the shattered plate were spread about as well.
“I’ll clean this up when I get back,” he said, gesturing to the floor.
“Heard!” repeated Sydney, though Carmy could tell she wished he would just leave already.
“Thank you, Chef,” he muttered.
As he passed by Marcus, the usually kind pastry chef glared at him, “You’re a real mess, Berzatto.”
Carmy sighed, slowly making his way around the same corner you disappeared behind only moments ago, “Tell me about it.”
Ebra shouted after him with a bark of laughter, “We don’t have to! You’re gonna find out when you go back there!”
Carmy rolled his eyes, turning the knob on the door that led to the back lot. That was where everyone, including you, disappeared whenever they needed to be alone.
He immediately spotted you sitting on the ground with the restaurant’s first aid kit in front of you. The injury on your hand was now covered with some burn relief gel.
You barely even glanced in his direction when the door closed behind him. The air outside was rather cold and Carmy could see the chills that covered your skin.
He nervously wrapped his hands in the hem of his apron, and then cleared his throat, “I’m sorry.” 
“Whatever,” you shook your head.
He paused, unsure of what he should say next as he blinked a few times. Finally, he licked his lips and stared down at his shoes, “Are you—uh—are you okay? I mean, you’re good?”
You scoffed quietly, shaking your head with a sardonic smile as you finished wrapping your injury with some gauze, “No, Carmy, I’m not good. Fucking asshole.”
Carmy took a deep breath, nodding slowly, “Yeah, yeah, alright. I deserve that. You—uh—gonna go early? Home, I mean? Go home early?”
You slammed the first aid kit closed, the latch snapping into place with a click! Standing up, you shoved it into Carmy’s arms, causing him to grunt at the impact against his chest. 
“Yes,” you said, “I’m going fucking home early.” 
He groaned as you pushed past him to go back inside. He slowly trailed behind you, watching you collect your coat and keys. He grimaced at the loud SLAM! of your employee locker. He knew everyone in the kitchen secretly had their ears open, each of them trying to figure out how badly Carmy had messed things up with you.
As you tried to slip past him once more, he reached out to place an arm across your front. He remained facing the empty room of employee lockers while you were facing the kitchen, forced to endure the cautious eyes of your coworkers.
With a sigh, you finally turned your gaze to him, unsure of what to make of his actions, “What?”
“Go to the doctor, alright?” he muttered, eyes gliding over your features.
Everything was much calmer now. Everyone in the kitchen seemed to have finally cleared out some of the crowd, leaving only a few stragglers. Each of them took an occasional glance at the two of you.
You bit your bottom lip. You couldn’t help but be fully aware of the way Carmy’s startling blue eyes suddenly dropped to focus on your mouth. And you definitely couldn’t stop your own gaze from doing the same, admiring the soft pink shade of his lips.
Maybe it was wrong to be so attracted to your boss. But when your boss was Carmy, you didn’t really care. And there were times, like now, when it felt as though he didn’t care either.
Sure, he could be a real asshole sometimes, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t easy on the eyes. Your eyes, more specifically.
“Yo, cousin, we’ve got—! Oh!”
Carmy finally tore his stare away from you, and said, “Just a sec, Richie.”
“Yeah,” nodded Richie, tossing his hands into the air. “Yeah, sure. Didn’t mean to interrupt... whatever this is.”
Carmy rolled his eyes before finally returning his attention to you. His stare softened and his fingers dug into the clothing that covered your hip with a gentle squeeze.
“Doctor,” he whispered, “‘kay?”
You finally muttered, “Okay, Bear.”
Carmy gave you a nod, heart pounding when he heard his nickname fall from your lips. Your hip received a few pats and a gentle rub before his arm disappeared from your path. As you walked away, he finally turned to face everyone in the kitchen, all of whom had their eyes on him.
“Well,” he said, running a hand through his hair, “get back to fucking work!”
At the same time, he could hear you ordering Richie, who had followed you to the front, to ‘shut his fucking mouth’.
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You unlocked the back entrance of The Beef. It was way past closing time and each of your coworkers had already gone home. In fact, you had only come back to get the tips you had left behind after your argument and semi-reconciliation with Carmy.
You flicked on one set of smaller lights before making your way through the kitchen and into the front room. Richie always cashed out your tips for you before his shift over and tonight was no different. On the counter, right next to the register, you found a wad of cash and a sticky note with your name on it.
Unfortunately, you were too focused on counting out the money to notice someone appear in the doorway. That is, until they spoke, “Hey.”
You gasped in surprise, clutching at your chest in a failed attempt to stop your pounding heart, “Fuck! Are you trying to kill me?!”
Carmy smiled down at his feet as he leaned against the kitchen’s door frame. He watched you shove your tips into the pocket of your heavy coat. He nodded towards your hand, and asked, “Rent due?”
You nodded back, “Yeah. Tomorrow morning.”
He hummed quietly, “See a doctor?”
“Yeah,” you replied. “Gave me some stuff to put on it. They said it should be good in a week or two. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was gonna be.” 
“Right,” he said, twisting the hem of his apron around his hands.
He watched your eyes drift to where his fingers wrapped themselves in the blue fabric. The realization that the two of you were alone, without the stress of your loud coworkers or a line of customers, overwhelmed him.
“You do that a lot, ya know,” you said, gesturing to his hands, “when you’re nervous and stuff.”
He shuffled awkwardly, shook his head, and then shrugged, “Hard not to be. We cool?”
Your eyebrows furrowed. One of Carmy’s hands rose to his lips, allowing him to anxiously bite his nails, while the other disappeared into his pocket. The soft glow coming from the back of the kitchen made him look like an angel.
A tired, fidgety, nervous wreck of an angel.
It was hard for him to breathe when you suddenly moved closer and closer until you stood mere inches away from him. He stared at your hand that untucked itself from your coat pocket. Yet, it wasn’t until you gently wrapped your fingers around his forearm, tugging his hand away from his nail-biting habit, that he knew it was over for him. 
“Carmy?”
Fuck.
“Yeah?”
His mind flashed back to all the times Richie had caught him staring at you and made fun of him for doing so.
And how after Sydney had first met you, she turned to him after you had walked away and quietly asked if you were his girlfriend.
And the way Tina almost beat his ass earlier for shouting at you so viciously after everyone else had left for the night, leaving him to wallow alone in his office.
Or the way he couldn’t stop his eyes from drifting to your lips while your hand gently rubbed his arm, listening closely as you whispered, “We’re cool.” 
“Good,” he muttered.
Your lips parted with a soft, shuddering gasp. Slowly, Carmy had tilted his head and began leaning in. Your grip on him tightened just as his free hand untucked itself from his pocket. His palm slid under your coat and landed on the same hip he had held earlier that day.
His nose brushed against yours. His fingers dug into you, splayed out against your clothed waist. His eyes slowly fell shut as did yours. After that, it didn’t take long before your lips met his.
You could feel the warmth of his cheeks when you placed your palms against them. You pulled him closer until you could wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, intertwining your fingers in his hair.
Carmy’s lips moved against yours tentatively. His other hand slowly slipped beneath your coat to caress your back. He groaned at the feeling of you gently scratching his scalp as your fingers ran through his hair.
Slowly, he pulled away, but only slightly. Your hands dropped to his shoulders and then traveled along his strong arms before finally wrapping around his waist. His apron loosened when you tugged at the strings.
Carmy felt his cheeks warm as he allowed you to remove the blue fabric from his body. He watched it fall to the floor and then made an effort to copy your movements, gently pushing your coat off your shoulders before letting it join his apron.
He sighed softly when you pressed your lips against his in a series of short, gentle kisses, “I’ve—uh—I’ve never…”
He trailed off quietly, feeling slightly embarrassed. Richie had always given him shit for being a virgin. But Carmy had gone through life without friends, let alone girlfriends.
“Carmy?”
His lip quivered when his eyes met yours again. He was surprised to find your gaze void of judgment. Instead, you gave him a small smile and gently pressed your hands into his lower back. He hummed quietly when you repeated his name.
Glancing at his lips, you murmured, “Do you want to?”
Despite the millions of thoughts running through his mind, he was still very clear, albeit quiet, with his answer, “With you? Yeah.”
You nodded silently. One of your hands gently pushed some of his thick, messy hair behind his ear. His eyes fell closed at the feeling.
“Was that your first kiss?”
“You gonna laugh at me if it was?” he asked.
You smiled at the way his cheeks flushed with red, and replied, “‘Course not. It’s like that for lots of people.”
He licked his lips, opening his eyes. His fingertips went deeper into your hips. Fuck, you were being so nice to him.
“It was,” he confessed. “That was my first kiss. I’ve never done any of it. Dates, girlfriends, none of it.”
“Okay,” you said, still allowing your fingers to trace through his hair. “You still want to?”
He paused, eyes exploring your features, “Yeah.”
“We can stop any time you want,” you said. “Don’t be afraid to tell me if you’re uncomfortable.” 
Carmy licked his lips again, hooded eyes drifting to your mouth. Slowly, he nodded and pressed his forehead against yours. His eyes closed and your noses brushed. He could his heart pounding in his chest, briefly wondering if you could as well as he collided his lips with yours once again. 
His fingers delved deeper into your hips. Your hands, meanwhile, tugged at his thick hair, forcing a grunt out of him. He was surprised by how much he liked the feeling. 
Pulling away, though not far enough to avoid the kisses that were now being pressed onto his jaw, Carmy quietly gasped for air, head tilting back as he asked, “Can we go to my office?”
He felt you nod against him in response. He then tugged you along in the direction of his office, biting his lip at the feeling of your mouth on his warm skin. He turned the two of you so that he could see where he was going. Not that doing so was much help since his eyes began fluttering at the feeling of a gentle bite sinking into the flesh of his neck.
One of his hands left your hip momentarily. His palm gripped at one of the metal counters in the kitchen, barely steadying himself. He was nearly tripping over his own feet, distracted by the pleasure you were already sending throughout his body. 
His hand quickly left the countertop. It found a new place on the back of your neck, but only after the two of you finally made it into his office, where he immediately pulled you into another kiss.
Slowly, your hands disappeared from his hair, opting to slip beneath the fabric of his shirt and gently scratch his back instead. You smiled against his lips, nearly breaking the kiss, upon noticing him shiver at the feeling. He practically arched into you, both of his hands moving to your cheeks in order to deepen the kiss.
His white shirt complimented the golden chain around his neck. It was something you had seen him wear plenty of times. And for Carmy, he wasn’t sure if he wanted that to change just yet.
He paused when you began to slide his shirt up, obviously preparing to remove it from his body. He gently wrapped his hands around your forearms to stop you. His lips then moved away from yours. His head ducked as he cleared his throat, avoiding your concerned gaze. 
“I’m sorry,” he muttered, eyes beginning to burn. “I’m—uh—It’s just—I don’t—I don’t think—! Shit, I’m sorry! Sorry! Sorry—!” 
“Hey, hey, hey,” you interrupted, gently wiping away any tears that had started to make an appearance on his cheeks. “It’s okay. You’re okay, Carmy.” 
He sniffled, cheeks warming with embarrassment, upon having felt your hands withdraw from underneath his shirt. His breathing had quickened, along with his heartbeat.
Carmy hid his face against your neck when one of your arms wrapped around him. You softly rubbed the space between his shoulders. Your other hand gently stroked the back of his head, fingers running through his hair once more. Meanwhile, his hands had dropped to your ribs in an effort to steady himself again. 
“We can stop—”
He interrupted you within seconds, shaking his head as he finally met your eyes, “No. I don’t want to. I—uh—I’m just—my childhood wasn’t the best, ya know? Parents were always fightin’ over stupid shit. And sometimes, my dad—well, he—uh—he’d take some of it out on us—”
“Oh, Carmy,” you whispered, leaning your forehead against his.
He continued, caressing your ribs with his thumbs, “He didn’t do it a lot, but, ya know, my back’s kinda, like, got scars and stuff.”
Pulling him closer, you nodded, still allowing him to lead the conversation, “Okay. Okay.” 
“I promise I wanna do this,” he sniffled again before taking a deep sigh, “but I wanna keep my shirt on. For now anyway. For this time.” 
You nodded again, giving him a small smile and lightly tracing the variety of small freckles on his cheeks, “Of course. Anything you want.”
Carmy hesitantly met your eyes. The startling ocean blue sent chills down your spine, especially when he muttered, “God, you’re so fucking sweet.” 
He didn’t give you a chance to reply. Instead, his hands traveled to your back and pushed you against him in a quick, unwavering motion. He groaned at the feeling of your fingertips imprinting themselves into the fabric of his shirt. His lips moved against yours in yet another heated kiss, though this one was much more desperate than the others had been. 
In that moment, as your hands wandered along his clothed back, venturing to the waistband of his pants, Carmy could picture himself falling in love with you.
In the space between your kisses, gasps of air escaped your throat, “Let me make you feel good, Bear.”
Carmy nodded. His lower back gently collided with the edge of his desk. He watched as you slowly undid his pants. He groaned and his cheeks flushed red at the sight of you lowering to your knees. One of his hands shifted to grip his desk while the other raked through his hair.
Before he knew it, his pants were pooling around his ankles and his hard-on was showing prominently through his briefs. His head tilted back and his gaze met the ceiling as your fingers delved into the waistband of the fabric covering his throbbing cock.
“Fucking hell,” he muttered, closing his eyes.
“Carmy?” your quiet voice cut through the tension. “You still okay?”
“I’m fucking perfect,” he whispered. “Please keep going.”
Your amusement was obvious. Carmy hissed when your smiling lips met the flesh of his stomach. He slightly tugged up the hem of his shirt in order to give you more access to his briefs, trying to prepare himself for his first blowjob ever.
The hand that had been in his hair quickly entangled itself in your own. His briefs were slowly being removed with every kiss you gave his skin, your movements trailing lower and lower with every passing second. You stopped at the last possible moment, pulling away and giving a final tug at his briefs.
At last, they fell, finding their place around Carmy’s ankles, alongside his pants. He couldn’t help but watch as his cock sprang free, nearly slapping against his stomach. You eyed it for a moment, licking your lips at the sight of the dark vein on the side and the way it curved slightly to the left. 
Carmy took your pause for negativity. His thumb softly caressed your temple as he murmured, “You alright—? Oh, shit!”
He was suddenly on cloud nine. Fire burned in his chest. Both of his hands moved to tightly grip the back of your neck. One of your hands grasped onto his tense forearm while the other held his cock. Your tongue traced over the vein that you had been admiring. 
His eyes closed and his head tilted back. He could feel you smiling as you pressed a kiss against his cock’s mushroom-shaped head. Your lips trailed along his length until you reached his balls. 
“Fuck!” he groaned, mouth falling open.
The way your tongue lapped at his balls while your hand stroked his swollen length set his stomach on fire. He could feel a layer of sweat beginning to appear on his forehead.
You were a fucking god. And Carmy felt ready to worship you.
Suddenly, you were at the head of his cock again, slowly taking him into your warm mouth. Carmy looked down to watch it happen and nearly came at the sight of you.
Your lips stretched around him. His hands moved to be on either side of your face, gently caressing your temples with the pads of his thumbs. Both of your palms wrapped around his bare thighs.
Carmy hissed at the feeling of his cock disappearing into your mouth as you began bobbing your head along his length. Though when he felt you fondle his balls with a sudden squeeze, he couldn’t stop an abrupt buck of his hips. 
You gagged when the head of his cock hit the back of your throat. He furrowed his eyebrows, concerned, as you pulled away, gasping for air. He wiped away the saliva that had built up at the corners of your lips, “Shit! You okay? I didn’t—I didn’t mean to do that!” 
You sniffed, laughing as you brushed off the small tears that came from your eyes, “Yeah, I’m good.” 
Unsure of what to say, Carmy nodded silently. He continued tracing your temples in an effort to comfort you, trying to ignore his cock, which continued to throb between his legs. Meanwhile, you rubbed at his thighs, still trying to catch your breath. 
“Hey, hey,” he muttered, tilting your head upwards to meet his gaze, “you sure you’re alright?” 
Your eyebrows rose, your fingertips dug into his flesh, and then you smiled, “I’m fine. But Carm?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re fucking huge.” 
And in yet another wave of shyness, Carmy couldn’t stop the blush that appeared on his face. You chuckled, leaning forward to kiss the space above his pelvis, slowly wrapping a hand around his cock once more. Your eyes remained on him as his lips fell open and moans escaped his chest.
“Hey?” you muttered. 
He watched as you leaned against his stomach, resting your chin atop the fabric of his shirt to stare up at him. He shivered at the way your pupils grew. They nearly overtook your irises, leaving only a sliver of their nature shade. 
“Yeah?”
Your teeth dug into your lower lip. Carmy admired the glow that had overwhelmed your skin. He shuddered when your hand tugged particularly hard at his cock.
“Can you fuck my face, Chef?” you whispered. “I want your cock down my throat ‘til I can’t breathe.” 
“Fuck,” he muttered, thumbs softly caressing your cheeks. “You sure? I don’t wanna hurt you.”
“Yeah, I’m sure,” you breathed. “I want you to feel good, Carmy.” 
He hissed at the sudden feeling of your tongue once again tracing over his length. The head of his cock was then repeatedly kissed in a soothing pattern. One of his hands moved to tightly grip the edge of his desk. The other continued smoothing over the skin of your cheek as you took him back into your mouth.
With a hand on his thigh and the other shifting to wrap around his forearm, you slowly dragged his hand to the back of your neck. Carmy panted heavily at the feeling of his hard cock sinking deeper into your throat. He successfully held back his quivering hips, not wanting to accidentally choke you a second time. 
His fingers dug into your skin, his mouth fell open, and heat rose beneath his skin. He looked down to find you with nearly his entire cock in your mouth. The sensation of your tongue swirling around him made him want to cum on the spot. And he nearly did so when your lips finally met the base of his cock. 
Your nose dug into his pelvis. He then felt the mushroom-shaped head of his cock reach the back of your throat, only you didn’t pull away for a fresh burst of air this time. He caressed the back of your neck in an effort to ease the tension. 
Tears welled in the corners of your eyes, soaking your eyelashes. You were doing your best to breathe through your nose. His grip on you tightened when your eyes suddenly looked up at him.
The sight of you staring at him with tear-filled eyes and your lips stretched around his cock made him curse. Both hands quickly returned to your face so he could brush away the glistening tears. After admiring your flushed appearance, he muttered, “You ready?” 
He took the moan you let out around his length as confirmation. The vibrations of it, along with the way your fingers were now tightly grasping at the backs of his thighs in preparation, made him hiss with pleasure. 
He groaned at the wet sounds of your mouth as he began gently thrusting in and out of your throat. He cursed repeatedly, especially when you continued to moan around him. Upon seeing you shut your eyes, however, he patted your cheek to bring your focus back to him.
He smiled down at you when you met his gaze, “Eyes on me, alright? You’re makin’ me feel so—ah!—good right now. Oh, fuck! You’re fucking amazing, ya know that? Oh!” 
Heat was growing in the pit of your stomach when you realized how much pleasure you were giving him. You could feel yourself becoming wetter and wetter by the second. 
You couldn’t help but gag around him when he suddenly gave a rough thrust. You were sure his thighs would have finger-shaped bruises by the end of the night with how strong your grip on him was. 
Carmy’s thrusts were picking up pace. He tossed his head back, eyes shut tight and his mouth agape with silent moans. You wanted him to fuck your face? Then he would do exactly that. 
He repeatedly shoved you down to the base of his cock. With every thrust of his hips, he felt his balls slap against you. The sounds of you practically gasping for air as you choked on his length made him shiver with a blissful expression.
“Fuck!” he groaned. “So fucking good! You’re perfect, ya know?”
His moans continued. The echoes of his cock pumping in and out of your mouth caused warmth to slowly build up within the pit of his stomach. With a few final thrusts, he pressed himself as deep as he could into your throat.
You choked around the sudden release of cum that flooded your mouth. Your eyes squeezed shut as Carmy pressed you further onto his length. Your nose dug into the skin of his pelvis and you were slowly losing the ability to breathe.
Carmy grunted, now gazing down at you with heavily lidded eyes, as his cock released thick, white ropes of his cum. He huffed in an effort to regain his breath. You, however, made that difficult with each and every time you swallowed around him, taking in all of his cum without a second thought. 
His cock was still hard when you finally pulled away. Your tongue ran over the tip while one of your hands moved to stroke his length. Before you could send him tumbling into overstimulation, Carmy tugged you upwards. 
His lips met yours in a searing kiss, barely able to keep hold of you between heavy pants. You could practically feel his confidence finally starting to bloom within him. 
Twirling in order to switch your positions, you tugged him closer, urging him to help you onto his messy desk. He quickly did so after reaching out to shove aside what seemed like a million unorganized papers. They fell to the floor, some even crumpling beneath his shoes as he stepped on them. 
His large, tattooed hands slipped beneath your shirt as he moaned at the feeling of your lips against his neck. He grasped onto the back of your bra and tugged... to no avail. Thankfully, you didn’t seem to notice. 
His face flushed red, especially when your clothed thighs squeezed closer to his hips. His cock began to throb as it met the covered space between your legs, desperate and eager for what was to come. 
Carmy furrowed his eyebrows and tried a second time to unclasp your bra. When it refused to budge, he couldn’t help but curse. And he nearly let out another when your affections came to a pause. 
Your kisses slowed. Pressing one against his ear, you whispered, “You okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” he replied. 
You tried not to laugh when you felt another tug, “Carm? D’you need help?” 
He cursed a little louder. You bit down on your bottom lip, trying to conceal a grin as you tucked your face into the crevice of his shoulder. When he confirmed your suspicions, you leaned away and did your best to give him a warm, comforting smile. You unhooked your bra and removed it from beneath your shirt with ease, tossing it aside. 
Carmy’s expression shifted into one of frustration, though his eyes shined with a bit of awe, “How the fuck did you do that?” 
Your hands ran over his shoulders as you asked, “Really wanna have that conversation right now?” 
He paused for a moment, seemingly taking some time to think over your words, “Fuck no.” 
You allowed yourself to laugh that time, “Then come here.” 
Carmy found it difficult to breathe when you tugged him closer. The scent of your shampoo fogged his mind as he hid your face against your neck. Your hands guided his, leading them beneath your shirt. He let out a deep sigh when his palms met the warmth of your skin. 
As his hands began tentatively exploring your breasts, he tried to ease his nerves by layering a series of open-mouthed kisses against the column of your throat. Meanwhile, you busied yourself with undoing your pants. 
“You have big hands, Carm,” you muttered, leaning your cheek against his messy head of hair as he indulged him in his affections. 
Big, warm, tattooed hands. His thumbs ran over your nipples occasionally as he gently squeezed you. His fingers dug into the plush of your skin. 
Despite having little room with the way Carmy was leaning against you, you managed to push your pants off your waist, shifting your hips in order to do so. As he continued palming at your breasts, he flushed a deeper shade of red, thankful his face was still hidden from your view. 
“Is that a good thing?” he questioned. “Big hands?” 
He felt you nod in response, “It’s hot.” 
In more ways than one, he believed, due to the heat building up in his stomach. His forehead had developed a thin layer of sweat as well. He followed your lead when you directed his hands to your hips instead. When his fingertips met the hem of your underwear, he inhaled sharply. 
“Think you can get these off without any help?” 
He stopped pressing warm kisses against your neck to meet your gaze. With narrowed eyes, he tilted his head at your teasing tone, licking his lips with an amused grin, “Shut up. What happened to the nice, sweet, good girl from before?” 
Holy shit. 
His comment made you pause. Your semi-arrogant smile fell, becoming one of shyness instead. Carmy’s, on the other hand, brightened. He had somehow managed to turn the tables. Seems like it was your turn to be embarrassed. 
He ran his hands over your thighs, gently pulling you closer. He continued to smile as you avoided his gaze. 
“Hey,” he muttered, placing a hand on your cheek and encouraging your eyes to meet his, “d’you like it when I call you that?” 
His smile was softer now. His body language, however, was giving off a newfound confidence, something you didn’t get to see very often. But with the way he caressed your skin, palms rubbing you soothingly in a steady pattern, you could tell he genuinely wanted to know. 
He furrowed his eyebrows when you offered a mumbled reply, “Hmm?” 
With shivers running along your spine and an affirming nod, you repeated yourself, “I do. Yes.”
“Yes, who?” he asked, cursing himself only seconds later for the question.
You couldn’t stop yourself from taking a deep breath in surprise. Your eyes fell to his lips, thinking about feeling them on yours again. Carmy watched you carefully when they did so. His cock throbbed heavily between his legs as the head gently bumped against your clothed entrance with every move he made. 
You met his eyes again when his fingers delved into the flesh of your thigh. Admiring his blown pupils, you answered, “Yes, Chef.” 
Both of his hands came to your hips. His fingers sunk into the hem of your underwear as he whispered, “Can I?” 
He slowly slid the fabric down your legs when you gave him a whispered confirmation. Wrapping an arm around his shoulders, you pulled him closer. His lips hovered over yours with a groan as your free hand wrapped around his cock.
“Are you sure?” 
Carmy’s eyes, which had been squeezed shut, slowly fluttered open. They flew over your features before he finally nodded, “Yeah.” 
Your lips met his in a soft kiss before your forehead came to rest against his. With your hand gently stroking his length, Carmy couldn’t stop himself from letting out a gasp. He looked down to watch your movements with desperate, hooded eyes. 
You ran the mushroom head through your wet folds. Carmy would’ve been embarrassed by his fascination at the way his cock glistened with your wetness if he wasn’t too busy groaning in pleasure. 
“Gotta go slow, okay? I’ll have to adjust,” you said, and then a quiet laugh filled the air between the two of you. “Like I told you, you’re big.”  
Carmy was sure his skin was cherry red by now, due to a combination of the growing heat in his stomach and your compliments. His mouth fell open and his eyebrows furrowed when your hand eased the head of his cock into your entrance. He couldn’t stop his fingers dug into your skin, creating indents on your thighs. 
Arms encasing your lower back, he pressed himself closer, furthering the reach of his cock. His chest met yours, both of your shirts rubbing against the other. He could both see and feel your hardened nipples through the fabric. 
Your hand that had been guiding him moved upwards, threading through his thick, unruly hair. He didn’t even need to move for you to start letting out a series of gasping moans. The sheer size of him was enough. 
Wrapping your legs around his waist, you nudged him as close as you could. His warmth melted into yours. His skin was aglow with heat, effort, and sweat. His length sinks deeper, stretching you wide and open for him. You hiss at the feeling. 
Oh, yeah. He’s definitely the biggest you’ve ever had. 
You kiss the bridge of his nose as you adjust to his size. Carmy quickly raises his head so his lips can meet yours. It’s a struggle, given how difficult it is for either of you to properly breathe at the moment. 
Carmy’s cheeks are flushed red entirely. He’s burning on the inside with a newfound desperation for you. His cock throbs inside your walls and he feels as though he’s being drowned in your body by the pressure. Meanwhile, you can hardly focus on anything besides the noises he continuously lets out. 
He hisses and groans with every shift, not expecting the feeling to be so tight. You’re dripping with so much arousal that it’s nearly soaking his pelvis and thighs. As his hands traveled under the fabric of your shirt to practically claw at your back, he can’t help but think about how the feeling of you around him is infinitely better than that of his own fist. 
In that moment, Carmy knew you had ruined him for anyone else. He was completely, without any doubt in his mind, yours. And fucking proud of it too. 
“You can move,” you whispered, strengthening your grip around his shoulders and tugging at his hair. 
One of his arms curled further around you. His palm landed between your shoulder blades, slowly gliding over your skin that was hidden beneath your shirt. The other wrapped around your lower back. 
His cheek leaned against yours as he gasped heavily into your ear after the first roll of his hips. Your hand continued to pull at his dark strands of hair, the other tangling itself in his shirt. 
Slowly, he rocked into you, the pace starting off easy and unhurried. Given his size, you could already feel the head of Carmy’s cock gently bumping against your cervix. You gasped heavily with each of his movements. Your body writhed against him. 
“Faster,” you muttered. “Carmy, go faster. Oh, fuck, please.” 
Carmy melted at the way your moans echoed throughout his office. He huffed repeatedly with effort as his thrusts steadily increased. The slapping of skin, along with the slick sounds of your wet entrance, filled the room. Carmy couldn’t help but curse when your teeth suddenly sunk into the crevice of his neck. 
“Shit!” he exclaimed. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good! Could stay inside you forever! Damn it! Wanna stay, wanna stay!”  
Your mind felt empty of anything besides Carmy. His warm breath hitting your skin as he rambled on and on. The way he clawed at you desperately, trying to bring you impossibly closer. How his balls were repeatedly slapping against your dripping arousal. 
“Carmy!” you whined, trying your best to redirect his grip on you, which was rather difficult due to his lightning pace. “Here! Touch me here! Make me cum! Make me let go on your cock! Oh, shit, you’re—ah!” 
You guided his fingers against your clit. Despite his state of pleasured delirium, Carmy seemed to understand what you wanted from him. He massaged the bundle of nerves, sending shockwaves down your spine. 
The tightly wound cord within you finally snaps. You cry out, gripping onto Carmy in order to gain at least some sense of stability. He continues to rut in and out of you like no tomorrow.
The only inclination that he knows you’ve finally cum is the pitchy moan he lets out when your walls constrict his cock with every wave of release. His hand is covered in your cum and he can’t stop himself from pulling his face out of hiding.
With one arm still around you and his hips still slapping loudly, he’s quite the vision when he suddenly brings his fingers to his mouth. It’s then, as he gets a taste of you, that he decides you’re his new favorite meal. In just one night, you’ve made him insatiable.
His hand goes for another round, trying to collect more of your wetness on his fingertips. Meanwhile, you’re beginning to collapse into overstimulation. You take to pressing your forehead against Carmy’s shoulder, panting and huffing as his throbbing length continues to delve deep into your dripping hole. 
Carmy’s trying his best to take in every bit of you that he can, repeatedly collecting your release to press against his tongue as he pounds into you. He rubs at your clit with reckless abandon, craving more of the taste. 
“Please, please,” he begged, distressed at the very idea that you might not cum again. “Wanna keep tasting you! You’re so fucking good!” 
He’s unaware that your moans are no longer coherent. The only thing that continues to tumble from your lips is the sound of your uncontrollable gasps for air and an occasional curse.
Given it was his first time, you hadn’t expected him to have so much stamina. His thrusts seemed impossibly fast, pistoning in and out of you at lightning speed without a second thought. 
Sinking against him, another orgasm washed over you as your mouth fell open in a silent scream. Carmy groaned at the feeling of your walls tightening around his cock, “Fuck, I can’t—! I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna cum, fuck, oh—!” 
His entire lower half rolls into you. He can feel crescents forming in his skin with how deep your nails are digging into him. He thrusts again, once, twice, and then a third time before he’s spilling into you. His cum seeps out around his cock, forming a white ring at the base. 
Despite hardly being able to breathe, he pulls you into a kiss. His lips move against yours in gentle movements. It’s a stark contrast to the way he had been pounding into you only seconds ago. His length is beginning to soften inside you, which you’re slightly grateful for. You weren’t entirely sure you’d make it through another round of that. 
“Are you okay?” he muttered, lips haphazardly meeting yours as his cock leaves you. “Shit, I didn’t mean to cum inside. I’m sorry.” 
You shook your head, “I’m on birth control. And I can get a morning-after pill.” 
He nods in response and then his eyebrows scrunch up. You almost laugh, wanting nothing more than to smooth out the ridges between them. Your hands glide over the fabric of his shirt, tracing over his chest absentmindedly. 
Pressing another kiss against his jaw, you ask him just to make sure, “Are you okay?” 
“Yeah, yeah,” he nodded, hands slipping beneath your shirt in order to rub your back. “It’s just—uh—I don’t know, it’s stupid—”
“I’m sure it’s not,” you interrupted, not wanting him to lose the confidence you had seen in him only minutes prior. “What is it? You can tell me anything.” 
His eyes quickly darted to the side. Although they only did so for a split second, you still noticed. Following the direction of his glance, your gaze lands on your discarded bra.
Carmy lets out a quiet curse as he zips up his pants, realizing that he had been caught. He ignores your smirk while he pulls you off his desk and helps you do the same. Even though helping you put your clothes back on is something no one else had ever done for you after sex before, you knew it was at least partially meant to distract you from your new revelation.
You quickly decide, however, that you can’t help yourself. With a smile, you quietly say his name in an effort to bring his attention back to you. 
“Hmm?” he muttered, trying to ignore the way your hands trace gently over his shoulders while he rebuttons your pants. 
You slowly tilt his head, leaving him with no choice but to meet your eyes. You repeat his name in a sing-song voice, “Carmy!” 
He grasped your hands in his and pulled them away from his face. He quickly distracts himself by playing with your fingers. After a moment, he sighed before looking at you with softened eyes. 
“Can you teach me the bra thing now?” 
Your face brightens with an amused laugh. Carmy instantly groans in embarrassment, throwing his head back and swatting gently at your backside with a muttered, “Stop that! I told you it was fucking dumb!” 
“No, no,” you shook your head, still chuckling as he rolled his eyes. “Pass it here, Berzatto. Then you can keep it as a homework assignment.” 
He muttered a curse under his breath, which only made you fall into another fit of laughter. He then picked your bra up from the floor and handed it over. With an arm on either side of your hips, he rests his palms on his desk that sat behind you. All his weight leans onto them and you can’t help but smile at how close he is while he stares intently at your hands, waiting for you to begin your lesson.
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