#does this count as meta??? ah who cares.

[werewolfsmile]

The Eliot Spencer Details Masterpost

I have been recording details about our beloved Eliot Spencer on my latest watch through. And now, it's finally time to reveal the details!! If I have gotten any details INCORRECT, I beg of you to correct me, at which time, this post will be updated and credit given. (Note: S1 was aired out of chronological order. I am going by chronological episode numbers - aka the correct order - and providing the episode titles as well to minimise confusion.) !! This post contains details from Leverage: Redemption! Read the episode references carefully if you are wanting to avoid certain spoilers !!

Shirtless Moments

S1 E7 The Two-Horse Job: The flashback scene when Aimee asks Eliot what his excuse was for not coming back to her, we see him being dragged/tortured, shirtless. "Tell us what you did with the monkey!"

S2 E2 The Tap-Out Job: Eliot is shirtless for the fight match.

S4 E9 The Cross My Heart Job: Ehh he's not completely shirtless here but whatever. At about 16 mins in, Eliot and Parker are getting changed together, Eliot strips to a singlet then throws his shirt at me the camera. (I didn't include other scenes of Eliot in a singlet here because in this scene he's actively undressing, whereas in others he's not.)

Necklaces

The earliest sighting of his guitar pick necklace is S1 E2 The Homecoming Job. It continues to pop up frequently in episodes, though noticeably less in S1. I thought about recording every occurrence of it here but ... lmao it's in legit waaayyyy too many episodes for me to bother.

S2 E10 The Runway Job: Honourable mention of the necklaces Eliot wears with his fashion week outfit. The longer one is kinda dogtag-esque, the shorter one is ... I think it's a fleur de lis? He also wears a range of chain necklaces later in this episode.

S4 E18 The Last Dam Job: Bird pendant (possibly kingfisher) visible at 34 mins 39 seconds. Full credits to @wolves-in-the-world for this one including the time stamp! You can check out their reblog of this post with more details here!

Dammit Hardison

S1 E13 The Second David Job: The FIRST INSTANCE of dammit Hardison in the entire show! Said upon discovering each other in the gallery, around 4 mins 15 seconds.

S2 E1 The Beantown Bailout Job: Said around 22 mins 30 seconds, immediately following, "What are the odds that Eliot's crotch will actually explode?" Iconic.

S2 E6 The Top Hat Job: When setting up for the magic show and discovering the rabbit missing, roughly 19 mins 45 seconds.

S3 E3 The Inside Job: Running from security, around 31 mins 30 seconds.

S3 E4 The Scheherazade Job: Trying to enter McRory's at the same time, around 1 min 30 seconds.

S3 E5 The Double Blind Job: This is an honourable mention because this time NATE is the one to say dammit Hardison! 9 mins 15 seconds.

S3 E6 The Studio Job: Upon discovering the master tape isn't in the case, roughly 32 mins.

S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job: Eliot and Hardison running in the woods for their lives, arguing as always. This one is a bonus 'dammit' because Hardison says it straight back to Eliot after Eliot yells it at him! Around 21 mins.

S3 E12 The King George Job: Discussing Hardison's forgery work, followed by Eliot regretting touching anything. Around 23 mins 55 seconds.

S3 E13 The Morning After Job: Pretending to be cops and accidentally ending up with a prisoner to take back to jail, around 16 mins 20 seconds.

S3 E14 The Ho Ho Ho Job: Honourable mention of Chaos mocking Eliot by saying dammit Hardison. Roughly 21 mins 15 seconds.

(phew, S3 was rough on Hardison! given what Eliot was going through with the whole Moreau thing.... ooh that's delicious angst)

S4 E5 The Hot Potato Job: Honourable mention for Sophie saying it this time! While playing the role that was meant for Eliot, around 24 mins.

S4 E6 The Carnival Job: Mixing chemicals for a distraction, roughly 25 mins 30 seconds.

S4 E17 The Radio Job: Hardison running away from being thrown off a high floor, around 5 mins.

S4 E18 The Last Dam Job: Sneaking around at the Bellington Dam, roughly 13 mins 35 seconds.

S5 E1 The (Very) Big Bird Job: 'Accidentally' putting a brew pub menu in front of Eliot, around 10 mins 20 seconds.

S5 E15 The Long Goodbye Job: Emotional scene that we do not speak about, around 12 mins 40 seconds.

RS1 E1 The Too Many Rembrandts Job: After knocking Harry out and asking Hardison to help carry Harry, and Hardison refuses. 11 mins 40 seconds.

RS1 E2 The Panamanian Monkey Job: Upon discovering that security is headed to the vault where Parker is, and the only way down there is through the vents. Around 34 mins 10 seconds.

RS2 E1 The Debutante Job: We get 3! In this whole episode! Probably to make up for Hardison being gone for most of Redemption. Anyway! First one when Eliot and Hardison are in Ralphie Roy's place and Hardison has no idea who Ralphie is, around 23 mins 15 seconds. Second is when they're breaking into the elevator and Hardison won't help fight or move the unconscious guards, roughly 37 mins 40 seconds. And third, after the job when Parker says that Hardison was the one who took out all the guards. Around 45 mins 10 seconds.

RS2 E3 The Tournament Job: Right at the start after Eliot says gaming isn't a sport and Parker texts Hardison, so Hardison starts blowing up Eliot's phone. Lmao. Around 4 mins 20 seconds.

RS2 E4 The Date Night Job: After realising Breanna stole his truck, Eliot says dammit, then aims it at a grinning Hardison, since Breanna is already running away. Around 46 mins 50 seconds.

Dammit Parker

S1 E4 The Snow Job: Parker jumps out of a second floor window, Eliot catches her. 15 mins. (Parker gets a dammit from Eliot before Hardison does!!)

S3 E8 The Boost Job: Parker driving erratically, Eliot thrown around in back seat. (Technically there's a pause between dammit and Parker but I'm still including it) 35 min 35 seconds.

S5 E12 The White Rabbit Job: Searching the mark's house, Parker wants to steal a shirt. Again, this isn't technically a proper dammit Parker, as Eliot instead says, "Put it back! Dammit." But I'm still including it because it was aimed at her. 21 mins 20 seconds.

RS1 E9 The Bucket Job: Parker is pretending to be a hacker heavily modelled off Hardison. Not a proper dammit Parker as, again, Eliot only mutters "dammit" under his breath, but still counts to me. Just after 18 mins.

RS1 E10 The Unwellness Job: At end of episode, after Parker admits that she didn't even learn Eliot's name till after the team broke up the first time. 44 mins 30 seconds.

RS1 E13 The Hurricane Job: After washing up on shore and entering the Beacon Inn, Parker and Eliot are bickering about Maria. He doesn't strictly say dammit Parker but there's absolutely no doubt who he's directing the dammits towards. 3 mins 30 seconds.

RS2 E6 The Fractured Job: When farewelling Billy and Parker says next time she'll finish telling him about the robot bodies. Again, it's just dammit not dammit Parker but it's close enough. 41 mins.

RS2 E8 The Turkish Prisoner Job: Another standalone dammit that is most definitely aimed at Parker! When breaking Romero out, Parker says she's a firefighter (with far too much glee), around 14 mins 30 seconds.

RS2 E10 The Work Study Job: A full dammit Parker this time! When Parker reveals that it's super easy to steal from a university and produces a whole bunch of stuff, roughly 22 mins 40 seconds.

Very Distinctive Moments

S1 E2 The Homecoming Job: Eliot ID's the weapon from the gunshots, around 8 mins. Later, he ID's a guy off his knife fighting style, around 18 mins 50 seconds.

S2 E6 The Top Hat Job: ID's a CIA guy from his stance, roughly 7 mins 45 seconds.

S3 E11 The Rashomon Job: ID's the smell of peppermint on Hardison's breath, around 21 mins.

S3 E12 The King George Job: ID's former British paratroopers by their haircuts, 30 mins 10 seconds.

S4 E1 The Long Way Down Job: ID's a former spetsnaz guy by his footprint, 13 mins 45 seconds.

S4 E5 The Hot Potato Job: Honourable mention of Eliot ID'ing ex-military personnel by their stances, he just doesn't say very distinctive. 18 mins 50 seconds.

S4 E11 The Experimental Job: Honourable mention of Eliot ID'ing a helicopter by the whumpa-whumpa (there's 7 of them did you know). Around 7 mins.

S5 E3 The First Contact Job: ID's military satellite transmission by the static, 7 mins 20 seconds.

S5 E9 The Rundown Job: ID's a Navy Seal who enlisted between '90-'95 by his watch, around 16 mins.

RS1 E2 The Panamanian Monkey Job: ID's a drone (Breanna's) from the sound. 11 mins 50 seconds.

RS1 E3 The Rollin' On The River Job: ID's Russian mob by the tattoos, 36 mins 30 seconds.

RS1 E7 The Double-Edged Sword Job: Honourable mention for Maria ID'ing the way Eliot disarmed her gun, 7 mins 50 seconds.

RS2 E4 The Date Night Job: Eliot ID's a guy as not having a distinctive anything - which is what is so distinctive. 20 mins 40 seconds.

RS2 E13 The Crowning Achievement Job: ID's MI6 off their search pattern, 6 mins 50 seconds.

Known Family

S1 E6 The Miracle Job: When discussing Bibletopia, Eliot says his nephew would like it. This is the ONLY mention of a nephew in the entire show, Redemption included; nor is there any direct mention of a sibling beyond this (which leads me to believe that this nephew is actually the son of a close friend/cousin/military buddy, rather than a direct family relation, but that's just my headcanon).

S2 E3 The Order 23 Job: When talking to the abused boy, Randy, Eliot says he has an uncle named Randy.

S5 E11 The Low Low Price Job: Eliot's dad owned a hardware store and he wanted Eliot to take over one day. But Eliot wanted to get out of that small town, so he joined the service. Fought with his dad the night before he left and hasn't been back since. He goes back at the end of this episode and knocks - but his dad never answers the door 😭

RS1 E9 The Bucket Job: While interrogating/torturing Eliot with Red Haze, Bligh says that Eliot's dad's friend from Vietnam has invited Eliot to join them for Christmas. At the end of the episode, Eliot goes to join them for dinner, only to get a message from 'J' that his dad was a no show. This 'J' is widely accepted as Eliot's unknown sibling but that is incorrect! 'J' is Eliot's dad's buddy from Vietnam!

RS2 E6 The Fractured Job: The ultimate Eliot family backstory episode!! (if you haven't seen it yet and don't want spoilers, skip this one!) Eliot was adopted by a black couple, Billy and an unnamed woman, after being abandoned/surrendered at a hospital as a baby. His father was a war hero who got none of the glory and sustained a wound, ruining his civilian career path, so Billy never wanted Eliot to follow in his footsteps. Eliot loved the stories of his dad in the military so joined up to be like him. His mother died while Eliot was on an op and he couldn't get leave to come back for the funeral, deepening the rift between him and Billy. Ultimately, they reconcile, (Eliot says his dad was always a hero to him, Billy say's he's proud of Eliot, they hug), and I cry every time 😭❤️ [Edit: Eliot being a baby at the time of being found at the hospital and consequently brought home by his adopted mother is unconfirmed and my presumption. We have no clear info on his age at adoption. Thanks to @nival-kenival for picking that up!]

Phrases: Ain't

S1 E4 The Snow Job: Said to Nate, right before Nate tells him to go skip some rope.

S1 E9 The Stork Job: Says it twice while conning Irina.

S1 E10 The Juror #6 Job: Upon being told to go help Parker instead of watching a sports game, Eliot takes his beer back.

S2 E2 The Tap-Out Job: Discussing the fights the mark runs, says they ain't the UFC.

S2 E3 The Order 23 Job: Said right before threatening to throw Randy's abusive father over the railing of a stairwell.

S2 E4 The Fairy Godparents Job: Upon spotting a hitman sent to kill McSweeten and Taggart.

S2 E8 The Ice Man Job: After hearing Hardison call himself the Ice Man, says he won't bail him out when things go wrong.

S2 E9 The Lost Heir Job: While trying to get Parker to the court room and end up cut off by the police.

S2 E11 The Bottle Job: When Hardison wants help to clean up Nate's apartment and Eliot refuses.

S2 E14 The Three Strikes Job: When Nate says to meet outside the ballpark but Eliot refuses because now he's sucked into the sport.

S3 E3 The Inside Job: Twice while arguing with Hardison about how to rescue Parker, once when Parker offers him a lift down the stairwell with her on her harness rig and he refuses. This is the most he says ain't in a single episode!

S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job: Once when the militia try to make him kneel, later when the militia kid catches him and Hardison near the train tracks.

S3 E11 The Rashomon Job: When Sophie changes her story to mock Eliot's accent and mannerisms.

S3 E15 The Big Bang Job: When confronting Moreau with Hardison.

S4 E1 The Long Way Down Job: Upon arriving at the base camp and complaining to Nate.

S4 E7 The Grave Danger Job: When looking for a buried Hardison and hearing the sprinklers.

S4 E10 The Queen's Gambit Job: At the end, swearing revenge on Sterling.

S4 E12 The Office Job: Arguing with Hardison about Eliot's sandwich while searching the warehouse.

S4 E13 The Girls' Night Out Job: When trying to convince Nate to socialise at the very start.

S4 E14 The Boys' Night Out Job: Exactly the same as the previous episode, so this one barely counts.

S4 E17 The Radio Job: In the patent office, when trying to figure out who lured Nate into this situation. The same scene is used later as a flashback.

S4 E18 The Last Dam Job: Warning Nate of the consequences of taking a life with your own hands.

S5 E2 The Blue Line Job: When ambushed by Marko when leaving the ice rink.

S5 E9 The Rundown Job: Once when going to wring information on the hit out of Riley, once when Hardison steps on the trigger plate of the claymore.

S5 E13 The Corkscrew Job: First time talking to Betty about how Leonard's a jerk.

RS1 E1 The Too Many Rembrandts Job: Twice when ambushed by RIZ thugs in the warehouse.

RS1 E2 The Panamanian Monkey Job: Once when discussing Ryan Corbett at the start, once when refusing to let Hardison have a turn with the diamond-tipped drill.

RS1 E3 The Rollin' On The River Job: When warning Breanna to be certain of her calculations for how to get him and Parker out of the casino's vault.

RS1 E8 The Mastermind Job: Once when discussing hiring people to overthrow a government, once when discussing how they're going to do like 6 things at once, including saving Harry.

RS1 E9 The Bucket Job: Said twice while talking with Blanche, after Blanche helped rescue Eliot from RIZ.

RS1 E14 The Great Train Job: While digging through the tainted soil with Harry.

RS2 E1 The Debutante Job: When trying to get to Volkov's plane with Parker and seeing that two guards are in the way.

RS2 E5 The Walk In The Woods Job: Talking to Paul after rescuing Harry, who was pretending to be Eliot.

Fun fact: for every ain't that Eliot says, Hardison says at least two more. And that's too many for me to bother recording!

Phrases: Y'all

Never. Not even once.

Hardison, on the other hand, says y'all all the damn time - every season, multiple times, sometimes even multiple times in the same episode.

Honourable mention for Chaos saying y'all as an incorrect mockery of Eliot's accent in S3 E14 The Ho Ho Ho Job.

... Okay, okay! So Eliot says it a few times in Redemption! But only in ONE episode!

RS1 E1 The Too Many Rembrandts Job: Said 4 times when playing a character and convincing people to clear out of the auction house.

That's it.

Aliases

These are all the names that Eliot's gone by or used on cons that I could find, not just full blown aliases.

S1 E1 The Nigerian Job: Detective Lieutenant Carden (the scene with this alias was cut from a lot of versions of this episode)

S1 E4 The Snow Job: Vince Fetkey, Hans Von Schwesterkrank

S1 E7 The Two-Horse Job: Brad Mackie

S1 E9 The Stork Job: Dale

S1 E12 The First David Job: Professor Sinclair

S1 E13 The Second David Job: Professor/Dr Adam Sinclair

S2 E2 The Tap-Out Job: Kid Jones (on the fight match poster)

S2 E4 The Fairy Godparents Job: Coach Brewer

S2 E5 The Three Days Of The Hunter Job: Earl

S2 E9 The Lost Heir Job: Officer Hilts

S2 E10 The Runway Job: Julian

S2 E14 The Three Strikes Job: Roy Chappell

S3 E1 The Jailhouse Job: Dr Abernathy

S3 E2 The Reunion Job: Lloyd Hickey

S3 E4 The Scheherazade Job: Guy Hamilton

S3 E5 The Double Blind Job: Phil

S3 E6 The Studio Job: Kenneth Crane

S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job: Agent Quint

S3 E8 The Boost Job: Skeeter

S3 E9 The Three-Card Monte Job: Detective Moffat

S3 E10 The Underground Job: Eric

S3 E11 The Rashomon Job: Dr Wes Abernathy

S3 E16 The San Lorenzo Job: Ray Laroque

S4 E2 The Ten Li'l Grifters Job: Charlie Siringo

S4 E4 The Van Gogh Job: Lieutenant (only granting him this one because CK played him in the flashback)

S4 E5 The Hot Potato Job: Tom Boonen

S4 E12 The Office Job: Mr Dennis

S4 E14 The Boys' Night Out Job: Luigi

S4 E15 The Lonely Hearts Job: Jackson Cooper

S4 E16 The Gold Job: Tobias Bowden

S4 E17 The Radio Job: Cowboy (*cough* John McClane *cough*)

S5 E2 The Blue Line Job: Jacques "Jack" Labert

S5 E3 The First Contact Job: Willie Riker

S5 E5 The Gimme A K Street Job: Steven Turner

S5 E6 The DB Cooper Job: DB Cooper/Young Steve Reynolds (again, technically not an alias but whatever it's here anyway)

S5 E7 The Real Fake Car Job: Barry McElroy

S5 E11 The Low Low Price Job: Archer

S5 E14 The Toy Job: Carl

Honourable mentions of Eliot being called: "Rambo" by Hardison in S1 E2 The Homecoming Job [thanks @independent-fics for this!]; "Emeril" by Parker in S1 E3 The Wedding Job [thanks @aardvaark for this one!]; "Sparky" by Parker in S1 E10 The Juror #6 Job and by Tara in S2 E15 The Maltese Falcon Job; and "Skippy" by Hardison in S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job.

RS1 E1 The Too Many Rembrandts Job: Will Gallagher

RS1 E6 The Card Game Job: Glenn the Savage

RS1 E7 The Double-Edged Sword: Emmett Milbarge

RS1 E8 The Mastermind Job: Frank Farmer

RS1 E10 The Unwellness Job: Hank

RS1 E12 The Golf Job: Reed Wilkins

RS1 E13 The Hurricane Job: Calvin

RS1 E15 The Muddy Waters Job: Armus Vagra

RS2 E7 The Big Rig Job: Kris

RS2 E8 The Turkish Prisoner Job: Nick O'Brien

RS2 E10 The Work Study Job: New Blood, Caterpillar

Honourable mention of Eliot being called "Skipper" by Hardison in RS1 E16 The Harry Wilson Job.

Known Associates

This is in direct reference to hitters/people from the criminal world that Eliot knew or was aware of prior to the Leverage Team. Quinn is not included in this list due to that distinction (sorry Quinn).

S1 E3 The Wedding Job: The Butcher of Kiev

S2 E7 The Two Live Crew Job: Mikel Dayan

S3 E11 The Rashomon Job: Gutman

S3 E15 The Big Bang Job: Chapman, Damien Moreau

S3 E16 The San Lorenzo Job: Damien Moreau

S4 E4 The Van Gogh Job: Frank, Randall

S4 E6 The Carnival Job: Roper

S5 E4 The French Connection: Rampone

S5 E9 The Rundown Job: Riley

Trivia

S2 E6 The Top Hat Job: Eliot claims he only sleeps 90 minutes a day, and that he cured his claustrophobia as a kid by locking himself in the woodshed behind his house for a couple nights.

S3 E6 The Studio Job: Eliot is nervous to perform in front of an audience, to the point that Parker startles him and she's surprised that she did. Interesting to note that he seems to have no issue playing sport in front of crowds.

S3 E7 The Gone Fishin' Job: Eliot says he hates beets.

S4 E5 The Hot Potato Job: Eliot chews gum. He does this throughout a LOT of episodes across the seasons but I've only noted down this one episode for it.... thanks, past me 🙄 [Edit: thanks @nival-kenival for more info! Another confirmed episode is S1 E2 The Homecoming Job, and S3 E13 The Morning After Job!]

S4 E9 The Cross My Heart Job: Eliot says he fought a guy with a Nerf sword in Damascus, 2002.

S5 E11 The Low Low Price Job: Eliot drives an F-150 to his dad's house in Oklahoma. This is a THIRD vehicle that apparently belongs to Eliot, in addition to the Chevrolet Silverado and Dodge Challenger we see in other episodes. The F-150 is not seen again.

S5 E12 The White Rabbit Job: Eliot has 'special sedatives' aka a little psychotropic he picked up outside of Bogota.

Eliot mostly walks at the back of the group, presumably to be the rear guard and make sure no one falls behind. See ... just about every damn episode for evidence.

RS1 E3 The Rollin' On The River Job: Parker says that Eliot has cut his way out of an ice cave, escaped a gorilla enclosure, and catered a wedding for the mob.

Eliot is seen wearing glasses throughout various episodes. A flashback in S1 E1 The Nigerian Job shows him wearing presumably his own glasses. All other instances of him wearing glasses (that I can think of) are when he takes someone's glasses for a con. It is unconfirmed if Eliot actually needs glasses to correct his eyesight or not, but is a fandom headcanon. In S3 E1 The Jailhouse Job there is an interaction where Nate ribs Eliot for taking so long in a fight, and Eliot says it's because of new glasses. An argument could be made that this means Eliot does require glasses. [Thanks @independent-fics for picking this up - for pretty much all the details pertaining to Eliot's glasses!]

And there you have it! All the details that I've spent the last 3 months collecting!! Now it's time for me to take a good, long break because my brain is fried! 😂

Once again, let me know if you find any errors so I can update the post. Data from Redemption S2 is where I've most likely missed things, since I don't have it on DVD and it's sooo much harder to scrub through streaming footage to find things. When will they release RS2 on DVD I need itttt.

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading! I hope this post can be a helpful reference for you!

[beevean]

https://youtu.be/WldXY_iJh8M?si=feGc6W2tzWn4ru2i

deepromanticdialogue.jpg

ah yes, I sure feel how Lenore has grown to see Hector as a full person and now truly loves him from the bottom of her shriveled heart.

In a more meta sense, it's also telling that this is how the show wants to convey that the two are now in a healthy, respectful relationship. Nevermind that Lenore doesn't respect Hector one iota if you actually bother to analyze the dialogue, S4 is fully intent on woobiefying her and this scene is meant to reassure us that she no longer sees him as a pet/dildo and Hector is totally chill with his abuser because they have come to know each other off-screen.

And they have the exact same chemistry as every other straight couple in the series: sassy bantering where the woman flusters the man.

One, they shouldn't interact the same way as everyone else. Dracula was a shut-in who was impressed by Lisa's courage in talking to him like a normal man. Trevor and Sypha butted heads at first, but then they started to see the positives in each other and bonded by fighting together. Alucard and Greta... I have no clue what their deal is, I honestly don't know what they'd see in each other, Greta is basically a ruder Lisa who can fight but yeah the point is that Alucard overcame his misanthropy by helping her. But Hector and Lenore should have the most fucked up, fake, mutually miserable relationship, because Hector didn't choose to be there! He was betrayed - for the third time, might I add! If he likes Lenore, it's because dude has genuinely no better reference, and from his perspective, the fact that he is being talked to without any ulterior motive is alone a sign of love. They should dance around Lenore crushing his heart and humiliating him, whether her intentions were good or not! Lenore might be talking to Hector only because he is the only person willing to listen to her, and because he is her pet, he is forced to, and she knows it - does she regret it or not? They bonded over how sad Lenore is, while Hector isn't allowed to express his resentment! No matter how much a jailer and a prisoner bond, they cannot escape such power imbalance, and it should be reflected in ther dialogue! If Hector is so damn broken he is willing to forgive rape and betrayal because he is that desperate for the fleeting feeling of being liked and he has a pathological need to cling to anyone who might throw the smallest crumbs of kindness to him, it should be reflected in his character! Forget the disgusting abuse apologism on display, writing-wise they all sound the damn same, and just like the overuse of swearwords, it flattens their personalities! It's always Sassy Cute Woman Holding the Stupid Man's Braincells! It's boring!

And two... on a broader note, doesn't it say a lot about NFCV, that love is so damn insincere? Characters banter, snark, insult each other as a joke or seriously. I'm thinking of Alucard waving Trevor goodbye by showing him the middle finger as a joke. Where is the fondness? Where is the genuine affection? It's rare, I can only think of Dracula and Isaac being honest pals or Trevor saying that he loves Sypha before going to die - and that's not counting the moments that get contradicted by previous proof, like Lenore herself showing (and not telling for once) her care for Hector by wanting to save him from Isaac, which sure is nice but not after in the previous episode she snapped at him for complaining about being enslaved because how dare you, I got your dick hard!

I pointed it out in the post I linked, but was it so damn hard to have Lenore show that her feelings are pure by simply asking Hector how he is doing, like just simple friendly smalltalk, instead of whining about her childhood and keeping this useless streak of dick jokes that only make her look like a spoiled brat?

[bi-demon-ium]

S2 EP3 LIVEBLOG AHEAD!

.

I CALLED IT ON THE TRAILHAND THING

hm does that mean rhonda, miss perumal, and milligan are targets, too?

OH…. A RUSE… A TRICK…. CALLBACK… OH GOD

“and then we take care of curtain. somehow” same

flgkhjfgh how about Over There. on the metal. “metal is a luxury. toughen up george”

ah mr benedict pacing real

remarkable, it’s a breakthrough, etc. number two Is It The Time

also mold lmao

I love that hes like “please put the garbage back in the bin what is this” like come on we’ve been kidnapped but we’re not ANIMALS

also again love that number two is just fully on biological warfare mode????? girl you are insane I love you

mr benedicts like I think that might be a war crime? and shes like I DIDN’T SIGN ANYTHING “that’s clever. troubling, but clever”

oh god.

to infect my brother with love, genuine love, real happiness—oh sir…. oh that. that is not going to work. I love that

oh the algebra thing that’s. hmmm

also “He craves my approval” I’m. mixed feelings I think he kinda does but also. hm

also dlkfgjdfg “that was on his turf :D” “so is this!” “…oh”

DFLGKDJFGKJ AT LEAST RHONDA AND MILLIGAN ARE AT HOME, AWAY FROM DANGER

OH SIR

DO YOU REALLY THINK THEY WOULDN’T IMMEDIATELY SEEING THAT

uh oh they’re going to be late that’s not good

lkdjfgkldfjg the cart falling and rhonda calmly stopping it and encouraging the worker “you can DO this. professionalism. say it.” “PROFESSIONALISM.” god I love her so much calming everyone down shes’ so good I love rhonda so much

uh oh nolan and cannonball know about the sugar thing gkfgh

“SOME OF THEM ARE QUITE SMALL”

they’re also slower though so maybe the adults won’t be quite as late as they think

oh poor noland man looks like he’s going to—FALTERING MARRIAGE?

“that’s remarkably unwise captain!” “DO AS I SAY” “yes captain!”

uh oh! constance up to some mischief!

ohhh are we at the underground poker thing finally??? YESSSS

KICK THEIR ASSES KID! GET EM KID!

fglkhjfghlkjfgh “constance wants a taste >:)” CONSTANCE? THIRD PERSON?

I love them all so much

do you really just assume everyones going to allow kids in

also love this moustache man already

I know we saw this in the trailer already but im still cackling at “they sent me to clean house”

oh they think they’re going to kick this kid’s ass but reynie is going to destroy them

LKGDJF “DEATH OR GLORY”

also what language was that I didn’t catch it

also yall are on a winning streak but don’t think that’s necessarily going to last guys don’t be stupid

is sticky counting cards. my beloved

uh oh reynie whats up

CONSTANCE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DLKGJGH “GET YOURSELF SOMETHING NICE”

I hope stache man comes back I adore her already

“enzo’s pies and pastries” huh. doesn’t SOUND like our old friend but. who knows

oh mr benedict my beloved

curtain my beloathed what a loser <33

“we’ve been expecting you”????? big fear

dlfkg hes the only one not clapping I thought you wanted him to think you approved or whatever

oh if mr benedict tries to interrupt like he did with the symposium I’ll die

I love you sir please don’t

oh no milligan and miss perumal scene. huge fear

NUANCED ADVERTISEMENT I do love him

and there’s rhonda still casually supporting that worker

IS A GOLD BAR SCARED IN FORT KNOX?

if that hand holding is anything but platonic I’ll die

could have been something but not awful

dlfgkjdkfg sticky are you going to fix this fucking boat

sorry ship

I love sticky so much

he literally did just count cards

I adore him oh my god

LKFGJFLKGHJ WAIT YOU CHEATED?

he learned it at boatwright

and reynie disapproves

DLKFGJDKFJG KATE AND CONSTANCE ALSO CHEATED

POOR REYNIE LMAO

HES LIKE WE JUST HAD A WHOLE CRISIS TOGETHER ABOUT CHEATING?

oh this is a meta thing for sure this is a meta thing like last time they were all so upset about cheating last time—well most of them—but now only reynie cares

WE SHOULD GIVE BACK OUR WINNINGS? REYNIE I LOVE YOU BUT SIR. SIR NO.

I mean I see what you’re saying reynie and you’re not entirely wrong but you are in a desperate situation

“how will your moral victory taste when benedict is in the ground” I mean see she is also not entirely wrong

youre telling me ive been SWINDLED by CHILDREN

please tell me hes going to think its hilarious and give it back that’s very funny

KATE I LOVE YOU

I think stache man is going to think this is hilarious

Or want them to cheat for him or something

I love stache man he just keeps listing

ive never seen…. anyone come clean

I love him

it deserves to be rewarded—

OH LDKFGJDFG hm well

so reynie was right in some way but also . hm i. again meta

and reynie not getting the constance sarcasm lmao

KATE I LOVE YOU THE WHOLE WATER POLO THING I ADORE HER

“I HAVE SO MANY REASONS”

CANNONBALL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

CANNONBALL!!!!!!!! MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!

kate lmao

“an anti gambling mission”

cannonball: what

oh I wanna punch curtain so bad

also ironically now the scenes with benedict are almost my least favorite literally just because im so anxious dlfgjdfg

and afraid hes going to do something that triggers second hand embarrassment ngl I love that man but if he tries to run in front of that camera or yell at curtain in front of everyone I’ll literally perish

cannonball my beloved every single time I see him I just. heart emojis blasting everywhere

constance is going to pretend to be a rich little gi—wait

wait. wait is that

are those her real parents

like the arctic spy thing

see this sounds insane but constance is fucking buck wild enough I believe it

genuinely I’d buy this I honestly have no idea if shes fucking with him or not

I mean she might be fucking with him with the truth but you know

also this announcer is so funny

SLIGHT DEFLATION ISSUE

JETTISON LUGGAGE DLKFGJDGFG

rip milligan’s enormous amount of bags

also cannonball’s reaction to constance’s spiel about her parents

I love cannonball so much lkfjgdfg

maritime court????

I feel like they’re fucking with them with the tale of the previous stowaways

NEGOGIATION LGKFGH

oooh the piano from the theme playing subtly…… love that

reynie pushing it I love them all

shaking noland’s hand and CONSTANCE STOLE SOME FRUIT LDKGJFGH

curtain being weird and creepy while benedict just silently goes “what the fuck” and squirms in his seat like he wants to die

oh this is terrifying

mr b PLEASE don’t say anything

Why do I feel like “north star” specifically will be important

oh number two are you going to steal that pie van

I love you

or hide in it

but without mr b?

hm

Jackson and jillson calling out sebastian in unison ldkfgjdfg

uh oh they found him

uh oh

uh oh

lfkghjfgh “that’s not promising!”

hes doing the gestures again! terrifying!

uh oh benedict’s reaction—is that him going “oh! he’s doing the gestures again!” or is that him being effect—OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OHO NHEOIDNHGKLHJFKGJFGH

OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OHOFGHOFGHN OON ONOOOOO

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOOOO NO NO  NO NO NO

THE WHISPERS AND THE MUSIC THAT’S

NOOOOOO HES BEEN WHAMMIED OH NO GOD OH NO

oh GOD OH FUCK OH NO

im TERRIFIED OH GOD

also I love captain noland <3

he offers to help each out but of course constance refuses

I genuinely like him so much

again it would be deeply funny if they mention benedict just before they leave and he goes BENEDICT?

OHHH NOLAND OFFERING STICKY A JOB

I LOVE NOLAND SO MUCH<3

HE SALUTED THEM<3

I hope this isn’t the last we see of him and cannonball

I don’t’ think it is but idk

SHE . THAT’S WHAT THE FRUIT WAS FOR

SHE FRUITED THE WATER POLO TEAM

SHE GOT THEM ARRESTED WITH TWO TANGERINES

I ADORE HER SO FUCKING MUCH

“no lecture. great work” “you’re maturing”

also she called him Reynard 😭

“I can hear mr benedict’s voice”

“MR BENEDICT IS NOT STRONG HE IS A GLASS HOUSE HELD TOGETHER BY DESPERATE OPTIMISM”

constance again talking to reynie with some sympathy but it’s a little mean too

OHHH….. “you’re reynie Mmuldoon—this guy talks about you all the time. you’re his best friend, right?” YESSSSSSSSSSS AWWWWWW<333333

Jeffers! my idiot!

ldfkgjfg he tried to talk in code and failed

“circle of children” “society of children” “right of course. society of children” f;ghkfgh

really? interesting. just the children?

uh oh!

I RESPECT THEM DEEPLY

uh oh! without mercy! that’s bad!

lkdglkdjfg curtain’s grey man…… jeffers does not deserve an intimidating title. sir that’s jeepers

although that was a creepy smile

THAT’S IT??? OHHHHHHHH

[aimless-imagines-for-fun]

Racing Heart

Pairing  ::  Clark Kent  x  short/petite fem!Reader

Warnings  ::  Smut, Size Kink

Word Count  ::  4,265

Summary  ::  You never knew why, but whenever you were around Clark, your heart always raced.

A/N  ::  Just an fyi, I used Henry Cavill’s Clark Kent, but I used the comic book height of Clark, which is 6′3′’, versus Henry’s 6′1′’

You never quite understood why, all you knew was that your heart always started racing when you were close to Clark. It wasn’t whenever you saw him, or when you were just in the same room as him. It was only when you were able to notice how small you were compared to the 6’3’’ man. 

There were many occasions when this happened. Whenever Clark hugged you, helped you grab something on a top shelf, or even when he was standing so close to you, you two almost touched, your heart began racing. It had gotten to the point where you went out of your way to avoid getting close to the man, making sure you were always on the opposite side of the room from him.

There were three specific times though that made your face heat up just thinking about them.

-

The first one was in the break room.

You had managed to open the cabinet doors right above the refrigerator, but were struggling to grab the box of plastic utensils. You always forgot to bring a fork or spoon from home for your lunch, though you never had to worry about it because The Daily Planet had some. Of course, in an office full of tired reporters, others were bound to forget their utensils as well, and thus the box that was placed on the counter was now empty.

You stood on your tippy-toes, fingers barely grazing the corner of the box. The heels your wore offered no help, only adding a mere inch and a half to your height. You open the cabinet with ease, and a huff of annoyance left you when you saw the box of forks was on the second shelf. You had grown so frustrated, you began hopping just to try and hit the box that you now believed was taunting you. However, your hopping was working, as you managed to hit the corner repeatedly to make the box slowly come out. You didn’t care if you were wearing a skirt. It ended right before your knees and you were wearing black tights so it was fine.

You just needed one more good hop and you knew you’d be able to grab the box. You bent your knees only slightly, and then-

“Do you need some help?” A deep kind voice asked, followed by a large hand reaching past you and grabbing the box.

You whipped your entire body around, now facing a tie and button-down plaid shirt. You tilted your head up, seeing the man from Kansas, Clark Kent. He was giving you one of his classic golden boy smiles, looking down at you.

You gave him a small smile in return, and you could feel your heartbeat begin to grow faster. Perhaps Clark sneaking up behind you startled you, and he seemed to notice.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, I just saw you were struggling for a bit,” He commented, holding the box out for you.

You grabbed it, thanking him quietly before a small idea popped into your head. “Were you watching me?”

You swore you saw a small tint on Clark’s cheeks as he let out a cough to clear his throat. “Um, no, I had walked by earlier and saw you struggling then, and, well, when I came back I saw you were still here so I decided to help.”

You let out a small giggle. “I’m teasing Clark.”

You saw him visibly ease up, letting out a small exhale. Little did you know he had been staring at you for a small while before he helped you. Watching you hop up and down had brought a small smile of amusement to his face. 

-

The second one was in the supply room.

Some people bought their supplies, and that was their stash. Others, such as yourself, helped themselves to the abundance of the supply room. What you had just ran out of only moments ago were sticky notes. You used them quite often, not only for notes but also for little drawings you did to pass the time. As a matter of fact, your entire desk was nearly covered with either small memos or doodles of random characters.

The sticky notes, unfortunately, were located on the top shelf. To add to your bad luck, there was also no stepping stool or ladder. Now, you could’ve been rational and go get someone taller to help. ‘Nah, I got this,’ you thought as you carefully began to climb up on the shelves. You believed in your climbing abilities, even in your heels. Admittedly, it was a bit awkward trying to grip onto the shelves, and the heels of your feet were hanging off, but you felt secure enough. 

You reached the top shelf with relative ease, only needing to step up two shelves. Then came the matter of the box of sticky notes that had yet to be open. There was no way you could open the box to grab the small number of notepads you needed, not without both hands though. You could throw the box down, but what were the chances of it breaking open and creating a mess? ‘I really should’ve thought this one through a little better,’ you regretted.

Busy thinking of how to get the sticky notes down(along with how often you found yourself in this sort of ‘you’ve made your bed now lay in it’ situations you’ve been in) you didn’t notice the door open and close once again. “(Y/N)?” 

“Wha- Ah!” You let out a squeal, losing your balance from being pulled from your train of thought. Your eyes widened and your heart froze, feeling your feet slip off along with your grip.

You squeezed your eyes shut, ready for the oncoming impact from the floor, along with the pain. Thankfully, the person who had caused your fall was quick enough to save you. Instead of feeling the hard tiled floor, you felt a pair of strong arms catch you. They held you close, almost squeezing you a bit too tight, but you felt safe in the embrace. You opened your eyes, blinking a few times to make sure you were indeed okay. You looked up to see who had caught you, your (e/c) eyes locking with blue ones behind a frame of glasses.

There was a clear worried look on Clark’s face. “You need to be careful (Y/N), you can’t just climb up shelves. If you need help, ask for it,” He continued to scold you, but you couldn’t focus on a thing he was saying.

Your heart was pounding, though you thought it was from the adrenaline of almost falling, and your mind was elsewhere. You couldn’t listen to him with him still holding you, it was all your mind was focused on. His grip on you was frim, and you were so close to him you could smell his cologne, citrus with a hint of musk. You always knew you were petite in build, but being held like this made you feel tiny. ‘His arms are so big. Am I really this small? He doesn’t look like he’s struggling at all. When does he have the time to work out? How-’

“(Y/N) are you even listening to a thing I’m saying?”

You blinked once, looking at him with big eyes. “Um… You’re still holding me…” You pointed out, a small blush coming to your cheeks. Unable to look at him any longer, your eyes darted down, missing his flustered face.

He put you down quickly, apologizing, and you told him not to just as quickly in response. After, you thanked him and rushed out without even taking a single sticky note with you. Later on in the day though, when you had walked away and returned to your desk, there were two sticky note pads on your desk.

-

The third one was at a charity event.

You and Clark were assigned to the event together as it was a rather large event. The money being raised was for meta-human teens and children, to help them better understand their abilities safely.

After hearing the guest list, you knew you had to wear the one forest green dress you wore to every fancy event. It was the nicest, and expensive, dress you owned. You paired it with three-inch black heels and a simple opal pendant. You never like dressing up too much. Clark wore a simple muted dark brown suit, with a navy blue button-up and blue tie to match it.

Now, it was rather tricky to keep your distance from Clark this time, and you really didn’t want to get flustered during work. Before it was at work, now it would be during work. There was a difference, granted a small difference, but still, a difference. At work, you just minded your business, and on occasion, goofing off when you weren’t writing an article. Here you were supposed to be interviewing and taking notes of everything happening. You couldn’t miss something important because Clark wanted to dance and you couldn’t keep your mind straight after. He didn’t ask you to dance, but, if he did you’d refuse.

“So, Mr. Wayne, Mr. Queen-”

“Please, call me Oliver,” The blond said.

Before you stood Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen. You were intending to speak to Mr. Wayne alone, but just as you approached him, Mr. Queen also got to him. You were about to apologize and walk away, however, Mr. Queen, or rather, Oliver, insisted you interviewed them together. You had to admit, it was rather nice having Oliver around as Mr. Wayne, even though he was known as a playboy, gave you a rather intimidating aura. 

You began interviewing the two, asking them the same questions you had asked all the millionaires, but ended up talking with them and enjoying it. Mr. Wayne wasn’t as intimidating as he had seemed, and Oliver was rather humorous. It was clear to you the two were friends.

You were in the middle of laughing at a joke Oliver had told when you felt a gentle hand on your shoulder. You turned your head, seeing Clark, standing right beside you with a smile. 

“Well you most certainly are having a good time,” He commented before turning his attention to the men in front of you. “Mr. Wayne, Mr. Queen, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He reached out with his free hand to shake theirs.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well…” Mr. Wayne’s voice trailed off as he looked down at Clark’s badge from the daily planet, “...Mr. Kent.”

“Call me Oliver,” He said as he shook your coworker’s hand. “I take it you two were sent together?”

“Yes,” You said in sync.

The conversation continued, and the entire time Clark kept his arm around your shoulders. You nodded along, even humming a few times in response to make it appear as if you were listening as your mind wandered. ‘Why is my heart racing? Why is he still holding me? Should I say something? What if I seem rude? I don’t want him to let go though.’ Even though you didn’t want to acknowledge it, you knew there was a small part of you that always liked how petite you were compared to Clark. 

Then, you felt his thumb begin to rub small circles onto your bare shoulder. Without thinking, you slowly leaned into his larger frame. Now, you couldn’t see it because you were still looking ahead at the two millionaires, but Clark glanced down at you, happy you had come closer.

-

You couldn’t avoid Clark forever though, despite your best efforts.

You walked down the sidewalk, holding four large reusable grocery bags each full to the brim. You lived alone, but you liked to shop in bulk so you wouldn’t have to go out often. You were struggling a fair amount though. Normally, you had a friend who’d come with you to help you out and then the two of you would hang out. Sadly, all your friends were busy for the next few days and you were beginning to run out of your favorite conditioner, not to mention you were low on food.

You didn’t drive to the grocery store either, adding to your struggle. It was only three blocks away, why waste gas? You wouldn’t be struggling much longer though.

“(Y/N)! (Y/N)!” A male voice called out.

You stopped, eyes darting everywhere to find the owner of the voice. It took you a moment until you eventually spotted Clark in front of you, a good distance away.

“Oh, hi Clark!” You placed two of the bags down to give him a large arm wave.

It took him a moment to get to you, and when he did he looked down at your groceries puzzled. “That seems like a lot for one person to carry.”

“Yeah, I tend to bite off more than I can chew.”

“I’ve noticed,” He said with a chuckle. “Do you want some help?”

You shook your head. “No. I couldn’t possibly drag you away from your day off to help me.”

“It wouldn’t be a hassle at all,” He reassured you. “Plus, it’d eat at me all day knowing I left you struggling.”

Knowing he wouldn’t take no for an answer, you let out a sigh, agreeing to his help. He took three of the bags, leaving you with the one bag filled with two bags of chips, three loaves of bread, and two dozen eggs. You tried to hold two bags, make the work even between the two of you, but he insisted. He tried to carry the bag you held as well, but you were adamant you held at least one.

Walking down to your apartment complex, the two of you mainly talked about work. At least you did, and Clark more so listened. This was the first time your heart didn’t start racing as you stood next to him, probably because you wouldn’t shut up about the deadline for your new article. You refused to look up at him, eyes fixed only on what was in front of you. It didn’t take long for the two of you to get to your apartment. You thanked him and told him he could go on with his day, but he insisted he helped you carry the bags up to your apartment.

You were quiet from then on, listening to Clark talk about the building. He lead you all away to your front door, standing patiently for you to unlock your door. Then, it hit you. You noticed his shadow over you as you faced your front door. Your heart quickened a bit, still, you ignored it as you opened your front door.

You speedily guided him to the kitchen to place the groceries down, and just as fast you tried to rush him out. His brows furrowed, confusion written all over his face.

“(Y/N), why are you in such a rush to show me out?”

‘Because I can’t think straight now with you around!’ You thought. Instead, you said to him, “Because I’m tired and I want you to enjoy your day off!”

He didn’t seem to believe you. He stood in front of you, a small frown on his lips. “Do you like me?”

Your eyes widened, mouth left ajar at his question.

“Because sometimes I get the feeling that you don’t like me.”

‘Oh-’ “What- No. I think you’re a great guy Clark.”

“Then why are you always avoiding me?” You didn’t think he had noticed. “Whenever I get close to you, you scurry off, and when you can’t you look uncomfortable.”

Like a child who had just gotten caught, you covered your face, too embarrassed to look at him. You didn’t want to tell him the real reason you were avoiding him, but, you also didn’t want him thinking you disliked him. It was the exact opposite.

“I’m not avoiding you because I don’t like you, Clark,” You said through your hands. You spread apart your fingers so you could look him in the eyes. “I… I avoid you because you’re… you’re so big.”

Now Clark was taken aback, a brow raised. “What?”

With a long exhale, you lowered your hands. “I said, I avoid you because you’re so… so big, and it makes me feel really small, and I can’t think straight.”

“You avoid me because I’m too big, and it makes you feel small, and you can’t think straight?” He repeated.

You nodded.

He was silent for a few seconds, tilting his head to the side. “In a good or bad way?”

“What?”

“In a good or bad way?”

You could feel your face heat up, and it wasn’t the only spot on you beginning to grow warm. Softly, you answered him. “In a good way, I guess.”

Clark took a step closer to you. “So you like the fact that I’m larger than you?”

“Yes, I just-”

“No.” His normally bright blue eyes seemed to darken, his eyes narrowed on you. “I want you to say it.”

You closed your legs closer together, feeling a heat rise in between your thighs. “I like that you’re so much bigger and stronger compared to me.”

Swiftly, Clark scooped you up, hands just beneath your bottom to raise you to his face. With how fast your heart was racing now you were sure he could hear it pounding in your chest. 

You looked into his eyes as you carefully took off his glasses and tossed them onto your couch. Then, you placed a hand on each side of his face and gave him a long soft kiss. He returned the kiss gently, though after a few minutes you could tell he wanted more, his kiss began to grow rough. 

You had wrapped your legs around him to be more comfortable, giving him a better grip on you. He squeezed your ass and in response you let out a soft moan. He lowered you a bit, only enough for you to feel his growing erection against your fully clothed core. He held your hips close, moving you against him for a bit of friction. You whimpered, lowering your head into his chest and gripping his dark grey shirt.

“Clark, please,” You whined.

“Where’s your bedroom?” He asked, voice deeper than usual.

You pulled your head away from his chest, nodding over in the direction of your bedroom. “Second door to the right,”

Almost hurried, he carried you straight to your bedroom. He stopped right at the edge of your bed, letting go and letting you fall back onto your mattresses. He crawled on top of you, placing a knee between your legs. Gently, he peeled away your clothes, tossing them to the side and leaving you in your underwear. He began peppering kisses around your neck, slowly moving down to your collarbone. As he did, his hand crept its way behind your back and undid the clasp on your bra. He pulled away from his kisses to watch your breasts bounce free, eyes fixed on your bare chest. 

Feeling embarrassed, you moved to cover your chest with your hands, but he pinned your hands above your head with one hand.

A low chuckle escaped him. “Aw, are you feeling shy?”

You were about to turn your head away when Clark dipped his head down, capturing your lips again. You could feel his free hand slowly trail up your side, humming as a shiver went down your spine. He cupped your breast firmly, beginning to knead it in his palm.

Small moans left your lips, arching your back, body begging for more. You already knew your panties were wet, and you needed him, but he was still fully clothed. All the while you could feel his denim-covered erection against your thigh.

“Clark,” You groaned against his lips, “It’s not fair.”

He pulled back, brows raised. You struggled to pull your hands free, to no avail.

“You’re still dressed,” You said with a pout.

He gave you an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry, how about you take care of that for me?”

He let go of your hands and you eagerly reached for the end of his shirt, pulling it off of him. You almost started drooling seeing him shirtless for the first time. Your hands began to wander around his chest, tracing the lines of his muscles. Your hands wandered down further, to the hem of his pants. Just as you were about to reach for his belt, his hand stopped you.

“You’re not ready yet sweetheart,” He warned you. 

“Clark-”

He pressed his mouth against you, silencing you before you could complain. Even though you weren’t allowed to undo his pants, he slid them off with ease and you felt his long hard member pressed against your thigh. You momentarily pulled away to glance down, gasping loudly when you saw his length.

Worried, you looked back up at him. “It’s not going to fit.”

He dipped his head back down to your neck, peppering kisses across your jaw. “That’s why we need to get you ready.”

His hand moved down to your soaked panties, pushing them down so you were completely bare now. Your breathing hitched, feeling him stick in a finger and begin to move it in and out of you slowly. He picked up the pace with his finger, eventually sticking in another and he could already feel your pussy tightening.

You were growing close and he was only fucking you with his fingers. Granted, his hands were larger than yours, so two of his fingers felt much larger than two of your own.

To add on, he lowered himself so his head would be right at your dripping cunt and began sucking on your clit. 

“Ah!” Your hands went straight to his hair and began to tug. You were a mess in his hands.

It didn’t take long for your body to shudder and your hips begin to spasm as you hit your high. Clark licked up your pouring juice, humming at your sweet taste. He looked up at you, two fingers remaining and now scissoring inside of you.

“You know, you really should ask for help if you can’t reach something,” He began. “It’s hard trying to hold back when you reach for things in those tight skirts of yours.”

“Well, now you don’t need to hold back,” You teased.

You propped yourself up on your elbows, grabbing his face with one hand and guiding him back to you. You could taste your juices in the kiss, humming in delight.

He pulled his fingers out, your core aching to be filled again. Luckily, you soon felt his already dripping tip at your entrance. Slowly, he pushed himself into you and you could feel your walls stretch around him. You nearly cried, your body in a mix of pain and pleasure. Your back arched, breasts pressing against Clark’s chest. Your hands gripped his arms as tight as you could, and you were sure you were digging your nails into him.

It was so much. You could feel your eyes water and tears prick at the corners of your eyes.

Clark kissed your forehead, muttered against it, “Just relax.”

He gave a small moment to adjust, noting how your breathing changed when you had gotten used to him. He pushed himself further in though, and you cursed under your breath, body growing tense again. 

Again, he gave you a moment to adjust, despite how painfully tight your walls clamped around him. He pulled out a small amount before pushing back in, bucking his a few times to get you used to him. Eventually, your quiet whimpers turned into small moans.

“M-more,” You breathed out, breath shaky.

Like a switch had been flipped in him, Clark pulled out almost all the way and speared you, no longer as gentle as he had been before. He did this again and again, going a little harder each time at a constant rhythm. Then, with one thrust you shouted his name loudly and your cunt squeezed around his cock.

“Ah! Clark again! Right there, please!” You begged him.

Knowing he had found your g-spot, he pulled out all the way this time and pounded that same spot, earning another cry of pleasure from you. He did this repeatedly now with a faster rhythm, leaving you gasping and clenching with each thrust. With each of your breaths growing ragged, it was clear you were both close to your release. 

You wrapped a leg around his hips to try and bring him closer, and he gripped your thigh harshly. He squeezed it so tightly, you were sure there’d be a faint bruise. 

With a few more thrusts, you shuddered, juices flowing out of you again and around Clark’s cock this time. You swore you heard Clark curse, feeling you squeeze around him and juices cover him. 

His rhythm was growing sloppy, and he pumped in and out of you until he let out a low groan of relief. You took a sharp breath, feeling his warm seed enter you. He continued to buck his hips, riding it out until he finally stopped, breath heavy.

He looked at you with now clear eyes and a smile on his face. “So… Do you need help putting your groceries away?” He asked cheekily.

You giggled. “Only if you don’t put anything important on the top shelf.”

“Why not? I’ll be around to help you now.”

[themandylion]

[fic] Icing on the—

For Day 6 of JayTim Week 2022, Car Wash | Sunset/Sunrise. Read it on AO3.

—

"I'm not angry," Bruce says as Tim walks into the dining room, his tone a very specific neutral one that signals he is very angry and it is taking every ounce of effort on his part to not show it. "Just disappointed."

"I think we're all disappointed by the Knights' utter failure to trounce the Mets," Tim responds, more to buy himself time than because he thinks Bruce is actually concerned about the results of last night's game.

The comment earns him a look because Bruce is, at his core, an enemy of fun everywhere. "When you borrow something, it's customary to return it in the same state it was in when you got it."

Tim wracks his brain, trying to think of what Bruce might be referring to. This can't be about the auxiliary Batplane that went down in a blaze of glory last month, there's no way Bruce can possibly know Tim was the last one to use it. "I upgraded the computer when I used it to run analyses for the Titans last week. I don't know if I can completely downgrade it without doing a system wipe, but I can try?"

"The car, Tim." Bruce makes a pained noise and presses a finger to his temple. "You took out the car last night."

Tim thinks hard. A lot of things happened before he finally managed to stumble into bed early this morning, between one thing and another. It's entirely possible he borrowed one of Bruce's many cars. "Refresh my memory on which car that was?" he asks, trying not to wince as he says it. It's fine. Memory loss isn't that unusual when you're running down metas and gas-wielding rogues.

"The car," Bruce stresses. "When I returned from the League mission, I noticed that there is… a substance all over the hood."

Tim freezes. A lot of things happened last night. Horrible things and wonderful things and oh. "Right, the car! I did take out the car! Silly me, forgetting that I did that. And forgetting to clean it as soon as I got back."

Bruce squints at him over his paper, then apparently decides it's not worth exploring further. "I expect it clean inside and out before this evening."

"Will do," Tim says, tossing him a salute and quickly turning around to see to it as soon as he possibly can.

—

He detours by his bedroom first change into something a little more water-friendly, of course. Sure, there's a car wash station in the garage, but it's a gorgeous summer day, the temperature is just a little too warm without being exhaustingly so, and a certain someone's bedroom window overlooks the back lawn.

Tim knows that no matter what else happened last night, he wouldn't have forgotten to wash the car. Just like he knows that he wasn't the one who borrowed it, no matter what the Cave security footage shows.

He drives the car out onto the grass, thanking the warm, sunny weather that means he doesn't haven't worry about damaging the lawn. It takes a little while to find a suitable bucket, soap, and scrub brush, but he manages to do it without even alerting Alfred to what he plans—he hopes, at least.

Dragging the hose over, Tim sprays the offending mess on the hood of the car, then turns to contemplate the manor. Eyes, sliding up to the second story, he begins counting windows. One, two, three—ah, that one, there.

With more that a little glee, he cranks the nozzle on the sprayer up to the highest setting and directs it at the window, letting the water rattle the glass and pound against the surrounding wall.

It takes a few minutes to garner a response, but when he does it's everything he hoped for. The window bursts open and there's a shout of, "Wha—!" before it turns into a horrible garbled mess of nonsense.

Tim lets the hose run for a few seconds long before pointing it back at the car.

Looking more than a little peeved, Jason starts yelling again just as soon as he's able. "What the fucking hell, Tim?!"

"You said you'd take care of everything and then I had Bruce dressing me down about putting the car back dirty," Tim calls up. "Dirty with a white, semi-translucent substance smeared allll over the front."

The fight almost immediately goes out of Jason as his shoulders climb up towards his ears and his face goes pale. "Oh. Crap. Sorry, I was… really distracted?"

It's an unimpressive apology. "If your ass isn't here and helping me clean up the mess you made in the next three minutes, you're not going to have another opportunity to be 'really distracted' again for at least a month."

"Shit, okay, I'm coming, I'm coming!"

Jason makes it down in under two minutes, having pulled a pair of shorts on over his boxers and not bothered with any other clothes. Tim appreciates the effort and rewards him with a peck on the lips before shoving the scrub brush into his hands. "Here. You scrub while I spray."

As he quickly moves to obey, Jason bites his lip and glances back over his shoulder at Tim. "Uh. Not that I'm worried or anything, but what did you tell Bruce when he asked about it?"

Striving to maintain a zen look of calm, Tim keeps his gaze fixed firmly on the car. "Why, whatever do you mean, Jason? Are you asking if I explained about how the very distinct substance decorating his favorite car is, in fact, icing because Condiment King apparently has a cake-decorating themed sister? Or are you asking if I explained that the person who took out his very favorite car and returned it absolutely filthy was, contrary to what security footage might show, actually his second son wearing my body like a suit?"

Jason cringes and seems to focus even harder on scrubbing the poorly glazed vehicle clean. "To be fair, as soon as I realized I was in your body, my first thought was to grab the fastest car available to come get you."

"To be fair, Jason, you wouldn't have had to do that if you'd waited for me like you were supposed to and hadn't tried to tackle Royal Icing on your own," Tim snaps back. He contemplates "accidentally" spraying him with the hose again, but ultimately decides against it. Jason is already wet and he does seem to be genuinely sorry. Not that he's forgiven.

"How was I supposed to know her stupid tiara was a magical artifact?!"

"Literally just waiting for me would have given you that, considering I spent all of yesterday afternoon researching her and it," Tim snaps, moving closer and brandishing the hose in what he hopes is a threatening manner.

As he moves, something catches his eye through the window of the car and he drops the hose.

"Tim? You okay?" Resting the brush against a tailfin, Jason cautiously approaches him, obvious concern on his face.

"I understand forgetting to clean the outside—it was late, we were both tired, and while it looks bad, it is just icing. But. You didn't clean the inside either?"

Beside him, Jason gulps audibly as he no doubt sees the same mess that grabbed Tim's attention. "How long do you think a deep clean will take and do you think Bruce is anal retentive enough to test the DNA on anything we miss to make sure it's his and not one of us?"

[charcubed]

Let's talk about Supernatural 15x07, "Last Call."

Or as I like to call it, "the episode that makes me go feral because it tells us so much about Dean's sexuality, character, and arc." 

YES others have written meta! YES I will talk about it myself for the satisfaction! I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

This post was originally a thread on Twitter and I am crossposting it to my blog.

Alt image IDs are included in that linked Twitter thread!

Join me on this journey.

What's the context of this episode? Dean's been kind of down/depressed, feeling hopeless in the face of the idea that they have to defeat God (and not really working towards that goal much), and he's mid-divorce with Cas. He goes out on this solo case to try to clear his head.

And he ends up at Swayze's Bar. 

 Look, there are many things to be said about this. Dean loves Patrick Swayze. Arguably has a CRUSH on Swayze. It's very tied up in Dean pretending not to like "chick flicks" but he secretly does, which is queer coding. This was a Choice™️.

Speaking of Choices™️: professional actors made many here. Deliberately. 

 Dean is smacked on the ass by a woman and then Lee smacks him on the ass too. Dean and Lee CONSTANTLY have physical familiarity and fond eye contact. I will limit myself to 1 paragraph about this lest I list it all.

My point is that I just really need every person to digest and accept the fact that this is textually bi Dean. Not subtext; it's TEXT. 

Dean and Lee had a relationship. Their history is alluded to in touch and in words. They had an orgy together. Dean's bisexuality is not repressed.

It's also now canon that Dean tries to hide that he can sing well. Most people don't know (like Sam) but some do (Lee). Hence "Eye of the Tiger" callback.

And so: that's also the implication for his sexuality. Dean singing ON STAGE with bi lighting is him being ready to be Out.

They dedicated an entire half an ep at minimum to emphasizing he's bi... and to Dean having a conversation with someone he (initially) trusts about potentially having a break from hunting, and what that could mean.

LEE: You're chasing missing persons, huh? I thought you'd be on to something bigger by now, like the Loch Ness Monster... Bigfoot.

DEAN: Trust me, uh, bigger doesn't always equal better. Besides, who's gonna look out after the little guy? God certainly isn't.

LEE: Damn, brother, that's dark.

DEAN: Yeah, it's been a rough, uh... it's been a rough decade, Lee.

LEE: Yeah.

DEAN: But that's a conversation for a different time, 'cause this, this right here, this is all right.

LEE: Well, I'm glad you approve. This is nothing you can't have, man.

DEAN: Oh, come on. Who's gonna kill the bad guys?

LEE: Somebody else. Dean, how many lives you think you saved, huh? Hundreds? Thousands? You deserve a break, bro. Hell, you might even deserve two.

"But Lee turns out to be a villain!" some might say. "Isn't the point that giving up hunting is bad?" 

Nope. 

Lee's a DARK MIRROR for Dean. He exists to exhibit the truths behind Dean's desires, and then what they'd look like if they turned bad. Take it from him: "I am you."

There are LAYERS here. You can't focus on the dark side and ignore the truths that take place in the (often bi) light. 

The singing? The conversations about taking a break? Throwing men out of the bar, which is framed heroically? "Road House rules" (another Choice™️)?

NONE of that was bad. It shows what Dean wants. 

Things only get bad–literally and visually–when Dean's tied up as Lee suddenly says wrong things in the dark. 

The contrast exists to show that maintaining Goodness is a choice, and Dean would have no problem upholding that.

LEE: It's called a marid. It's a freaky-looking little thing, isn't it? [Lee laughs, and Dean stares at him, incredulous] Ah. As long as you feed it, it gives you money, it gives you health, everything you dreamed of.

DEAN: And so, what, it just costs innocent lives?

LEE: Dean, you and I both know no one's innocent. After everything we've done, aren't... aren't we owed a little happiness, huh? Don't we deserve that much?

DEAN: Listen to yourself. "We're owed." "We deserve." Come on, man. You're not God. Hell, God's not even God.

LEE: Good or bad... the world doesn't care. No one cares, Dean.

DEAN: Well, I do.

LEE: Yeah. And that's what got you here. Now, takes a while to drain a man, but listen to me. Don't worry about it, all right? Don't worry because once you lose a couple of pints, you just fall asleep, and then it'll be over.

[Lee pats Dean on the shoulder]

DEAN: Lee.

LEE: This... this is not how I wanted this to go, Dean. When that blonde girl walked in here last night, I should've know, you know, Dean Winchester, the righter of wrongs, you were gonna keep digging, and you were gonna figure me out. And if it's got to be you or me, well, I got to pick me, man.

"No one cares, Dean."

"Well, I do."

It's a reminder to himself as much as it is to Lee. It's a re-centering of purpose that he sorely needs.

And what's also key? Lee is human, but is now a "monster" in Dean's words. Because Lee lost his ability to care, Dean can't abide by that.

(Side note: bonus for the fact that Lee dies up against a wall by being impaled and he coughs up blood. You know who doesn’t cough up blood in their very weird and unrealistic death scene? Dean in the finale.)

Remember: Lee is a dark mirror for Dean. "I am you." 

By fighting and (tragically) killing Lee, Dean "kills" the darker side of himself. The side that's struggling to keep going right now... AND the side that fears eventually wanting a break means you must be selfish and stop caring.

He can keep going. He can find strength to fight God–and in the end, take a break and CHOOSE peace. It won't make him dark. He's the most caring man on Earth, even when it's hard. That’s reinforced later. 

Isn't he owed a little happiness? And that's not in the having. It's in just being.

The bonus is what's going on with Cas in this episode. 

Dean's clearing his head and finding his center again while Cas is calling him. 

Come home. I need you. Remember what matters.

And again, contrast: Lee turns out not to be "real/true" in the way Dean thought he was. But Cas IS.

And after Dean goes through all of this... he's grounded again, he recognizes that even amongst questions of what God controls there are still choices to be made, he's reminded that letting his caring heart lead him is priority, he's lost another friend... 

He comes home to Cas.

It's awkward. They're still distanced. 

But this episode is a turning point for Dean. He's not angry at Cas anymore, he wants to talk, he's ready to move forward... he just doesn't know how to yet.

And if you follow the through-line... then you get Rowena saying "fix it"... and then after that is the Purgatory prayer.

I just !!! 

S15 is packed with Dean development to hone in towards the end of his arc, but "Last Call" manages to hit SO many buttons. 

• He's always been bi, & is ready to be Out

• He can want a break–& maybe run a bar like the Roadhouse

• Caring is at the core of who he is

It's about the CHOICE. It's about wanting to live your truths, and that "caring" can mean many things–from defeating God and saving the world, to making the hard choices when it counts, to maybe running a bar where people are safe.

14x10 and its matching Texan Star also say hello:

DEAN: How come you always have a boyfriend?

PAMELA: How come you only want what you can't have?

DEAN: Whoa.

PAMELA: Besides, you don't want me. You just like to flirt. I'm a psychic, so I kinda know.

DEAN: All right.

PAMELA: So, still not ready to sell the bar, huh? It's a lot of money.

DEAN: Sell? This bar? This is my dream.

PAMELA; Yeah.

And I recognize that rereading this info is sad(der) now because of what we got in the end, so uh... sorry. 

But that's half the point: it's repeatedly blatantly clear what we were meant to get, down to deliberate echoes in word choice–caring, happiness, deserve, even Roadhouse.

Dean was meant to choose to take a break, maybe run a bar–whether on Earth or in Heaven. At minimum, if Dean was meant to end up in Heaven, he was meant to choose it with eyes wide open. And the next time the phone rang with Cas' name (15x19), he RAN for him. He was VERY ready.

And the whole season tells you that. This episode is just my favorite.

So... thanks for letting me ramble on about it!!! 

DEAN WINCHESTER: BI ICON, ONCE-LOVER OF LEE WEBB, THE MOST CARING MAN ON EARTH WHO DESERVED TO CHOOSE PEACE AFTER GAINING HIS FREEDOM, & SOULMATE TO AN ANGEL

And a very big thank you to the talented kings Jensen Ackles & Christian Kane, and their longstanding friendship. They gave me many rights with their acting choices. 

Here's an iconic bonus for the road.

[poorlittleyaoyao]

CQL Rewatch Episode 4: recalled as shouting “THANK GOD, IT IS MY BOY”

-LAN PEDAGOGY IS SO BAD. Too many words! Too many directives phrased as what you shouldn’t do and not what you should do!

-There’s great meta about NHS and the bird, and the foreshadowing for what he pulls off later, but I want to know what his thought process was that morning. He does not normally have a bird with him. It was not an “oops, forgot I had the bird with me!” situation. The boy made the CONSCIOUS CHOICE to hide a bird in his robes during the welcome ceremony. What happens in your head, Huaisang?

-I LOVE MENG YAO’S REACTION TO THE BIRD SITUATION SO MUCH. It’s one of the few times we see him trying to suppress a genuine smile rather than plastering on a fake one! His quiet amusement, plus NHS hiding behind him (and MY stepping in front of him!) even though MY is unarmed when Wen Chao tries to start shit later both convey SO MUCH about their relationship at this point in the narrative. They care about each other! And it’s going to go to shit!

-When you think about it, the first person to stand up for MY isn’t LXC, but Lan Qiren, who tells those random exposition gossip dudes to shut up. Where is my fic where MY decides that LQR is his new and better dad?

-”Wow, Wei-gongzi! You dared to face Wen Chao and nobody else did!” exclaims NHS, right next to Jiang Cheng (who ALSO stood his ground against Wen Chao), and somehow forgetting LXC disarmed everyone by playing a little flute solo.

-GODDDDDD THE FUCKING FAREWELL SCENE. IT’S SUCH! A SETUP! FOR ALL THE WAYS THIS RELATIONSHIP IS GONNA HAVE PROBLEMS! Meng Yao’s ultra-deferential “Meng Yao is just a guest of the Nie, not a disciple” (and I REALLY wanna know what the word is that Netflix renders as “guest,” bc “guest” in English conveys a privileged status IMO; “servant” or “assistant” or even “vassal” seems like it’d be more apt) combined with the carefully blank expression spawned 12k words and counting of fic because ohhh mannn is there baggage there. And LXC’s “In that case, I can’t urge you to stay” makes perfect sense for him, because he’s like “ah! it would be awful to disregard his wishes! I will respect them!“

Except unfortunately! Based on MY’s face journey when he turns around, and his general pattern of behavior that we see later! MY would actually have liked it very much if LXC had been like “Are you sure? I can write to Chifeng-zun; I’m sure he wouldn’t mind someone keeping Huaisang on-task” or something like that to intervene on his behalf! But LXC doesn’t do that! Because he’s trying to be respectful! (Or, less charitably, it doesn’t even OCCUR to him that MY doesn’t have the agency that a member of the nobility would, because for all his good intentions, his own privilege blinds him. But his quick reassurance to MY that NMJ definitely trusts him and will respect/reward his merits suggests that LXC noticed something was up with MY’s response.

oh no I’m emotional doing this while drinking was a m i s t a k e

-”There are only mountains back home, no rivers!” Huaisang. Honey. Where do you think the rivers come from. NHS out here flunking geography class as well as cultivation class.

-additional Wen Qing time was THEE BEST change that this adaptation made

-The sibling soup supper makes me irrationally angry. GIVE!!! YOUR SISTER!!!! SOME FUCKING!!! FISH!!!!!!

-Lan Qiren I am BEGGING you to learn what UDL is. Please engage your kinesthetic and visual learners. Please give them a brain break every 45 minutes.

-concept: AU where everything is the same except Lan Qiren uses Class Dojo and awards points for good choices.

-”Imp” sure was a bold translation choice, Netflix.

-“Why not dig up a hundred people to suppress this one (1) dude?” BECAUSE THAT’S NOT PRACTICAL, WEI WUXIAN. THE GHOST IS GOING TO EAT EVERYONE BEFORE YOU’RE DONE DIGGING.

-hey Wen sibs your spy mission would be a lot more subtle if one of you actually WENT TO CLASS EVER :|

-the degree to which “Careless Whisper” is playing in Wen Ning’s head as WWX helps him with his archery stance is truly stupendous

-“Wen-guniang, why do I always see you in the back hill?” girl what were YOU doing in the back hill?

[loosesodamarble]

And your darling devil divine for the ask game please ❤️

Ah yes… My beloved Nacht…

BINGO! We got a bingo!

Man do I have thoughts about Nacht. Ever evolving thoughts too.

At first I was neutral. Then I started to like him when it was revealed he was a self-loathing hypocrite who was not so above it all. And now I’ve analyzed his character twice in a matter of weeks.

I believe Nacht is a well written character. He has a compelling backstory which influences his present ideals and actions. It's only my personal bias saying that Nacht needs more screen time. In reality, what attention he does get is used effectively to tell the story of someone who has damned themselves to living in the shadow of another, "better" person and deciding that eternal punishment is what he deserves for the mistakes he's made.

Tabata did Nacht a disservice by rushing Nacht's whole arc. He was laying it out so nicely and then one conversation with Yami seems to fix it. (Maybe it's not totally resolved yet and we just have to wait and see?)

And the fans do Nacht a disservice by like... Oh here are the opinions that would be like hitting a wasps nest...

The way I see it, Nacht only seriously hurts people he cares for on accident. He pushes away people like Morgen and Yami, creating a rift, but Nacht's intent was to save them rather than harm them. Even Nacht's greatest sin, Morgen's death, was an accident and not entirely on him since Morgen was the one to put his life on the line. Nacht is similar to Nozel in that both characters don't intend to harm their loved ones but it happens anyways because of poor/a lack of communication. Nacht's first interaction with the Black Bulls doesn't count because the Bulls didn't know Nacht at all and he was still projecting onto them. Not a good first introduction but it really doesn't hold the same significance to Nacht causing Morgen's death. Also, Nacht does eventually acknowledge the good the Bulls have done and how incredible they are. Yes, Nacht has said bad stuff about Yami, his best friend, but that still circled back to Nacht seeing the worst of himself in Yami instead of actually disliking Yami. So the way I see it, depicting Nacht as being whole-heartedly and intentionally malicious towards those he truly cares about is... not right.

Another mischaracterization of Nacht would be the idea that he wants forgiveness and redemption. Nacht doesn't want to be forgiven. Nacht never seeks to become good and instead believes he will always be evil. He even says he will "fight evil with evil" instead of determining that he will do only good after Morgen's death. Nacht ran away from forgiveness... Up until Yami talked away his issues all too easily. (But like I said, that's Tabata's fault.)

Does it sound like I'm absolving Nacht of guilt? Oh absolutely! Like, I know he did really shitty things. But I also want to point out the context and and possible emotional significance to the characters that gives the situations nuance. Still, I said these opinions would be like a bat to a wasp nest so I know these thoughts won’t be taken well by some.

Also these my opinions so if you’re reading of Nacht is different. We can keep it to ourselves.

Moving onto more light-hearted things about Nacht...

Yeah the music thing sure is accurate. I mean... I did do the whole Music of Faustsele series. And I still have yet to talk about the Yonzeu songs that I think relate to Nacht alone and one's that express his thoughts about Morgen! As you can see, Kenshi Yonezu and Nacht Faust go really well together./lh

And I do think about him so much. I mean, did you read the meta I did of his character? One of my most complex ocs exists thanks to me being absolutely taken in by Nacht's story! I want to learn more about him! Have more to analyze and study!

As you can probably tell, I really like Nacht. In fact, I love him. As a character. A plot device. A vehicle for themes and narrative progression.

Still debating if I'd like him if he were a flesh and blood human though. I wouldn’t be able to handle his criticism well if he had anything to say to me at all. Maybe. Depends on if he keeps the devils. The Bremen crew make him 10x more attractive, let's be real./lh+j

[softyoongiionly]

BlackHeart Bakery

Who says Halloween can’t be romantic?

Pairing: Emo! Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Genre: fluff

A/N: HI OMG IM SO SORRY THIS IS LATE. I love you, I hope you like it. I’m sorry it isn’t longer but, I still can’t wait for you to read it.

-you never imagined that the quirky lil bakery down the street from your university would change your life  

-But it did

-“Omg shut up, you’re so dumb.”

-“Rawr xD”

-“Did you just say rawr xD out loud??? That totally defeats the purpose of its existence...”

-“Don’t cite the deep magic to me witch, I was there when it was written.”

-“And now you’re quoting the chronicles of narnia- alright just go back to sleep you big dummy...”

-“Mmm but you married a big dummy so what does that say about you”

-“Jungkook don't spoil it oh my god!”

-“Like they don’t know what’s coming already- spoiler alert losers! I get the girl.”

-“I hate you...”

-“Mm yeah- I love it when you talk dirty to me baby. The last time you said that- we ended up fuc-“

-“Ok! That’s enough! Our story begins...”

-Jungkook’s bakery was quite famous around your city

-If people didn’t come for the gaudy Halloween decorations  

-They came for the music  

-Exclusively pop punk, if you’re wondering

-It was like 2009 everyday  

-Which was comforting, considering the world has gotten a little

-Tricky

-Since then

-But anyways

-If they didn’t come for the music or the decorations

-They came for the AMAZING espresso  

-And the spooky themed treats

-But if you’re being honest

-You think the main thing that keeps them coming back

-Is Jungkook  

-If his sweeping black hair didn’t get you

-Or the adorable cheeky twinkle in his eyes

-It was the tattoos and the piercings  

-He looked like he walked right off of a black veil brides music video set  

-He was hot

-This was obvious

-But he didn’t seem to think so

-You had come to the conclusion that he was oblivious  

-he shoved his feet into his big black doc martens every morning  

-Slipped on his beaded bracelets and studded chokers

-Pulled his fall out boy t-shirt over his

-Massive

-Tattooed

-Biceps

-And just thought hm

-I’m pretty average I guess (lol)

-That’s a direct quote from him btw

-Men truly are hopeless

-Jungkook opened the bakery two years ago

-He had mentioned to you that he had saved up money from his 3 part time jobs to put a down payment on the building  

-Which was wedged between a sex shop

-And a thrift store

-And honestly his bakery

-Blackheart Bakery, if you’re being specific  

-Fits right in

-Jungkook refuses to hire new staff

-“They won’t do it right.” He whined to you one day

-“One time I tried to hire this guy and he put the sugared googly eyes on the cookie skeletons ALL WRONG”

-“How do you put googly eyes on wrong?” You had giggled

-“you just do- i- See? This is exactly why I can’t hire anyone...”

-You had started chewing on the end of your pencil in the midst of your laughter

-It was an unconscious habit

-And it makes Jungkook shift uncomfortably, his hands moving off of the top of your table

-“Don’t do that...” he had muttered, smirking to himself as he walked back behind the counter  

-he did that a lot

-He’d mutter something  

-Mildly flirtatious under his breath and then  

-Just walk away

-It was quite confusing

-But honestly you had a feeling he was just a filrty person  

-You certainly weren’t the only girl he smirked at

-Not that you pay attention

-Ok  

-Maybe you do  

-Kinda  

-Pay attention  

-but it’s not your fault!!!!  

-You just  

-Can’t help but feel a little jealous

-You kiiiiiinda have a little thing for him

-Ok

-Maybe it’s a big thing  

-Maybe it’s a massive

-Gigantic

-Towering  

-Crush  

-But look at him!!!

-You simply couldn’t be blamed

-It was his fault  

-Yep

-That’s what you’re going with

-It was Jungkook

-And his tight t shirts

-His ripped jeans

-His dangly earrings

-His tattoos

-His big

-Stupid boots

-Ugh ok

-Focus  

-You have work to do

-The whole reason you began coming to Jungkook's cafe was so you -could find a consistent place to study for your exams

-You were in school to become a teacher :)  

-And teachers have to study very very hard  

-Educating the youth is no easy feat  

-Jungkook had asked what you were studying during the first week you arrived at his spooky house of baked goods

-“Oh I’m an education major”

-“Ahh so you’re getting an education about...education.” He concludes

-“I love it.”

-“So meta.”

-“Are they educating you on the disparities between impoverished children and wealthier children?”

-His wide eyes were brimming with genuine curiosity  

-You kind of got a kick out of how candid he was about such heavy conversation topics

-“Not as much as they should be but, I’m actually writing a paper on a similar topic right now...”

-This caused a brilliant grin to come over his face

-It was almost blinding really

-And it made your heartbeat all wonky  

-“Of course you are. You look smart like that...”

-He had backed away from your table then, seemingly satisfied

-Had you passed the vibe check?

-“I’ll leave you to your paper.” He nodded to your laptop but as he walked away, he pivoted back towards you on and the heel of his combat boot, “welcome to Blackheart Bakery by the way, let me know if I can get you anything.”

-Another brilliant smile is sent your way  

-“Thank you.” You had smiled back, sending a tiny wave his way

-Which in turn, made HIS heartbeat all wonky  

-You’re cute

-Like really cute

-And despite how often it may seem like his eyes are elsewhere

-They are ALWAYS on you

-Every chance he gets he is glancing your way

-Smirking to himself at how endearing you are

-Brow furrowed

-Lips pouted in concentration  

-Completely oblivious to his gaze

-He has to remind himself to look away  

-He doesn’t want to be a creep

-“Creepy men deserved to get kicked in the teeth...”

-He’s said this to you before when another patron had made you uncomfortable

-Jungkook kicked him out immediately  

-“If you don’t leave, I’ll have no choice but to kick you in the teeth. One, because I can’t compromise my personal philosophy and two because you’re making my favorite customer uncomfortable.”

-Oh look there goes your heartbeat again

-WONKY

-The guy leaves in an angry rush, flipping Jungkook off in the process

-Saying something about leaving a bad Yelp review  

-He doesn’t care tho

-He definitely doesn’t want to be a creep

-You’re just so  

-Pretty

-Ugh

-He rolls his eyes at himself behind the espresso bar

-The latte in front of him neglected  

-In need of a bit of foam

-“Focus Jeon, she’s just a chick...”

No wait

-“She’s just a woman. A woman who I respect, like I respect all women...”

-He’s been watching a lot of feminist theory on YouTube

-He likes staying educated  

-And also fuck the patriarchy

-The man waiting for his drink has arched a brow at this point, wondering if his barista has lost his mind

-“Uhhh medium...” he checks the cup for his awful hand writing, “ghostly toasted marshmallow latte!”

-“Thanks.” The guy mutters, throwing a judging look Jungkook's way  

-He gives him a lazy salute as the guy struts away with a briefcase in tow

-“Thaaanks.” Jungkook mocks him, his face scrunching up in annoyance  

-Stupid man

-With his stupid briefcase  

-As Jungkook is pulling out a batch of cream cheese frosting stuffed pumpkin muffins  

-Or as Jungkook calls them

-PUNK-in Muffins

-Movement at the counter catches his eye

-is that

-”oh shit...” He grunts, hastily wiping his hands on his apron and rushing over to the counter

-normally he would meander

-stroll

-or even slump to greet any new guests at this hour

-and by this hour

-he means 45 minutes before closing

-Jungkook’s bakery is open til midnight on weeknights

-9pm on Sundays

-and 3am on Saturdays (for the culture of course, gotta keep it spooky)

-tonight happens to be a Friday night and the person awaiting his assistance is

-you

-”You’re still here?” He gawks, the black polish on his nails glimmering as he punches in a few keys on the register

-You offer him a tired and slightly amused smile, “No. Y/N died around 4:30, you’re speaking to her ghost. Please leave your message after the tone.”

-Jungkook cracks a smile, his palms resting on flat on the counter, “Do ghosts check their voicemails?”

-“Oh of course not but, I will be checking yours because you have access to caffeine.”

-Jungkook laughs

-no...he giggles  

-and it’s fucking cute

-but you digress

-“I feel like I should cut you off...this is your 4th latte; I’m pretty sure you’re 80% caffeine at this point...”

-“Noooo, don’t do that.” You whine slumping against the counter, “I just need to finish this one page...”

-He quirks a brow as he scribbles something on your cup, unimpressed with your statement, “You said that three hours ago. I’ll make you another one but I’m not putting an extra shot in.”

-Your face turns up in protest but he click his tongue against his teeth , shaking a manicured finger at you

-“Ah ah- nope. I don’t want to hear it. You either take that or I’m making you a hot chocolate and shutting the buildings power off.”

-With a dramatic sigh, you concede

-“Ugh fine. Here-” You go to hand him your debit card but he shakes his head

-“Put that away.”

-You want to protest but given the fact that he’s made the rules thus far during this interaction, you doubt you’d be able to stop him.

-A smile appears on your face then, appreciative of his generosity

-“Thank you.”

-He merely grins, waving you off before rolling up the sleeves of his black Blink 182 shirt

-as soon as his tattoos are out

-all the moisture leaves your mouth

-you try your hardest not to stare at him

-expertly, he eases the espresso shots into the milk, tongue poking between his lips in concentration

-and you

-being sleep-deprived

-and a little loopy

-decide to  

-flirt????????

-if you could even call it that

-which you could but you shouldn’t

-“For the record, when I finally dig my way out of this of mountain of death I’m stuck in, I will definitely take you up on that hot chocolate...”

-Jungkook’s brow quirks at the tone of your voice, his hands suddenly itching with nerves

-was that

-was that flirty?

-should he flirt back?

-“My hot chocolate is legendary. You won’t be disappointed.” His lips display a small grin as he places the lid atop your finished latte, “Also mountain of death is a great name and I WILL be stealing it.”

-You giggle

-again

-“and I WILL be suing you for copyright.”

-He laughs now, wiping up the bit of milk he spilled

-the sinewy muscles in his forearm tensing and untensing

“Good luck getting me to show up to court.”

-and that’s kinda how it was between you and Jungkook

-for like six months

-it was a little bit flirty but never anything to push either over you over the edge.

-and speaking of being on edge

-recently, you had gone from vacationing in your timeshare on the edge

-to signing a 35 year mortgage contract  

-4 bedrooms

-2.5 bathrooms

-of pure

-unrelenting

-stress

-you could feel it in the middle of your back

-shoving itself up between your shoulder blades

-your body seemed to ache with it

-the worst part being

-it was Halloween

-You should be out with your friends, having fun

-wearing itchy costumes and drinking sugary drinks

-but instead, your headed towards the bakery to work

-Jungkook was behind the counter, smiling happily at a family dressed like the cast of scooby doo

-from what you could see he was wearing a skeleton onesie

-his jet black hair tousled perfectly above his head

-he looked adorable

-(and hot)

-He notices you instantly, his face turning up in surprise

-you offer up a small wave and head over to your table

-you know he’s going to say something about you being there but

-you don’t really have much of a choice

-this work has to be done

-it takes him a second to spot you but when he does

-he seems to perk up

-his smile brightening as he looks back towards his customer

-as you’re setting everything up, you feel a presence (not the spooky kind) at the end of your table

-it’s Jungkook and he has your regular order in one hand, along with something wrapped in skeleton-patterned parchment paper

-“I know, I know.” You acknowledge before he’s even able to chide you for being here

-He smirks “What are you doing studying on the holiest day of the year??”

-You giggle

-“The holiest day of the year huh?”

-“Of course. Halloween is the one night a year that the homies can dress like total -sluts and no one can say anything about it.”

-This makes you giggle again

-“And you went with slutty skeleton huh? I love it- it’s like as naked as you can possibly get.”

-He chuckles, gesturing to his costume

-His floppy black hair getting in his face

-“Damn right baby.”

-The way he grins tells you the pet name is a joke

-But the deepening of his voice gets to you anyway

-“Thank you for this. I promise I’ll get out of your hair early tonight.”

-“The only thing I’m worried about getting out of my hair is this white spray paint. You’re welcome to stay as long as you want.”

-He’s put a streak of white spray paint in his raven locks

-Why? You’re not certain

-Does it look good on him, like everything else does?

-Absolutely

-Its been a few hours since your night of studying began

-Jungkook’s dropped off two free lattes since you’ve arrived  

-As well as a slice of his ‘I write cinnamon not tragedies’ bread

-Which was equally hilarious and delicious

-You caught him glancing over at your table a few times but you didn’t think anything of it

-He’s probably just checking to make sure that no one needs your table

-His bakery is packed most nights but Halloween is a special night at Blackheart Bakery

-He has a trick or treat counter set up with free (homemade) candy

-A photo op complete with a fake haunted house backdrop

-A Halloween playlist

-And a bunch of discounts on his signature lattes and food

-you watch him amongst the chaos

-He is completely unfazed

-He seems elated at the amount of customers he has

-he grins and laughs at something a man dressed like Thor says at his counter

-he seems entirely in his element

-you realize that the denial tactics you’ve been trying out haven’t been working

-because this floppy haired, tattooed, slutty skeleton/baker kind of has a hold on your heart

-you’ve been friends for a long time now

-he always makes sure you’re taken care of

-he always asks if you’re ok

-he always gives you this little grin

-it feels like a secret sometimes

-but maybe it’s been his way of letting you know where he stands

-he’s been bringing you lattes and pastries for months now

-he never charges you full-price

-he always reminds you not to work too hard

-he

-fuck

-he likes you doesn’t he?

-you look back over at the counter to see him bending over and handing a skeleton cookie to a little girl dressed like Captain Marvel

-he laughs at something she says

-his eyes focused entirely on her and whatever she seems to be proclaiming to him  

-your heart goes wonky again

-alright

-enough is enough

-you’re doing this  

-Jungkook’s done so much of the work thus far

-it’s time for you to seal the deal

-and if he rejects you, well…

-you can just crawl into a hole and never come out again

-easy peasy

-You can feel his eyes on you as you get up to take your place in line

-luckily there isn’t anyone else behind you

-rejection with an audience would certainly be worse

-Jungkook has his witty comment ready for you as you approach the register

-“I know for a fact you haven’t finished your third latte and I’m not making you another one until-“

-“I’m not here for another latte.” You laugh, trying to ignore the thrashing of your heartbeat

-“No? Well, are you finally going to try my Welcome to the Blackened Chicken Parade Burger then? I’ve been asking you for like three weeks…”

-god he’s fucking cute

-“I’m here to ask you out.”

-Jungkook swears he feels his heart stop

-“You’re here to…”

-He repeats the first part of your response as his he didn’t hear you

-his black fingernails anxiously tapping against the countertop

-“I’m here to ask you out- on a date.”

-Jungkooks face seems to go through various stages of confusion before a shy smirk presents itself on his pretty mouth

-“Me? You’re asking me-“ He places a hand on his chest, “-out on a date?”

-“Yes!” You laugh, slapping the counter a bit too hard, your nerves getting the best of you, “Are you down?”

-He shakes his head but his answer contradicts his movements

-“So down, beyond down. There is no one on Earth who is more DOWN than I am. Yes. My answer is yes. 50000% yes.”

-you can’t help the smile on your lips

-“great. So are you free next Friday then?”

-He grins with his teeth this time, nodding emphatically  

-“Consider the shop closed.”

-and so it was

-you returned to your table moments later  

-feeling on top of the world

-you did it

-you asked Jungkook out

-and he said yes

-and now you

-NOW YOU HAVE A DATE WITH JUNGKOOK

-LOOK AT YOU GO

-TAKING CHARGE

-you try your best to engage with your studies but with Jungkook on your mind

-its really hard

-roughly two hours later, things at the bakery have finally started to slow down

-“Hey uh- Y/N?”

-Jungkook's voice that pulls you out of your studying trance

-he’s standing at the entrance of his back room, waving you over with his hand

-and who are you to deny him?

-you make your way over there, annoyed at the instant increase in your heartrate

-he stands awkwardly to the side and gestures to the boxes on the metal rack

-“I just remembered that I’ve never given you a tour of the place. I give all my regulars a tour of the stockroom and my office and uh-”

-he cuts himself off and clumsily cups your cheek

-he pulls you into a kiss

-a really good kiss

-his lips are so warm

-he smells like cinnamon

-you could literally die happy

-The ridiculous nature of his first attempt to kiss you, makes you giggle into his mouth

-you feel him smile, his hands smushing your cheeks together as he pulls away

-“Ok I lied. There is no tour. I’ve just been watching you focus on your computer for the last two hours and you’re just really fucking cute and-”

-this time, it’s you who cuts him off

-“You better give me an actual tour next time. How else am I going to steal your secret recipes?”

-he scoffs in mock offense

-“Ah ha! So that’s the only reason you asked me out huh? Should I be calling you Plankton instead of Y/N? Ew no wait- that would make me Mr. Krabs and he’s a dirty capitalist...”

-You laugh, “Oooh good point. Guess you’ll just have to be Karen, my computer wife.”

-This makes him laugh now and the sound warms your soul

-“I could live with that- I like your last name better anyways.”

-with another kiss, your adventure with the emo baker of your dreams begins

-It may have been Halloween but it sure felt like Christmas to you

[sage-nebula]

Ah... not to be that person but if you continuously play a no-mercy route, Chara urges you to seek a new path. They're with you in the pacifist route, too. You save them in Asriel's fight. They didn't abuse Asriel - They were both 9, 10, and doing something scary. Chara is a kid who's done some wrong things but they're not a killer unless you make them one.

I really hate to burst your bubble, but you did not say a single thing that is actually true in accordance with actual Undertale canon instead of fanon. I'll break it down piece by piece.

If you continuously play a genocide route Chara urges you to seek a new path.

Yes, but also no. Chara doesn't urge you to seek a different path; rather, they express confusion as to why you want to do this over and over again—and more specifically, why you have this "perverted sentimentality" for this world, why you care about it, why you want to keep it around. They outright state this if you refuse to destroy it after a second genocide run.

It is NOT the desire to murder that Chara doesn't understand. That they understand, because they have it too, and that made them think that you and they were similar at first. It is the desire to recreate the world that they don't understand. It's the refusal to destroy the world after yet another genocide run that they don't understand. The world is empty. There is no one in it. Yet you want to keep it around. That's perverted sentimentality, in their eyes. That's what they can't understand. Chara doesn't "urge you to choose a new path" because they don't want to slaughter; they continue to encourage you to murder and urge you not to proceed if you don't meet quota on each and every subsequent genocide run:

But the fact that you keep recreating the world, and the fact that you try to refuse to destroy it (try, because they do it anyway) . . . that's what they don't get or approve of. 

(All above screenshots courtesy of NoChocolate.)

They're with you in the pacifist route, too.

It's a commonly held belief that they're the narrator in the pacifist route, yes, although they don't actually have any power there because no murders happen (/therefore no murders happen because Chara doesn’t have power to do murders themself, since they only get power to do murders themself after the player does murders first). As I said in the original post, the player has to initiate the genocide route and carry out most of the murders. Chara and the player are PARTNERS; Chara encourages the player and keeps track of their kill count, and only has enough power to kill on their own at the very end (when they kill Sans, Asgore, and Flowey). Chara wants the player to murder, is ready and raring to go if they're going to do it, but if the player doesn't meet quota at any point in the genocide route (or spares a boss etc), the route ends and Chara gives up on it. That the player has to give Chara power by carrying out most of the murders doesn't change the fact that Chara is very much on board while the murders are happening.

You save them in Asriel's fight.

Nope, that's Asriel you're saving. I know a lot of people got confused about this for some reason, but the "one more person you have to save" is Asriel, given that he's in the midst of an emotional breakdown during that fight. You save him, not the ghost of the kid who got him killed.

They didn't abuse Asriel - They were both 9, 10, and doing something scary.

I hate to break this to you, but kids abuse other kids all the time, though usually it's not called abuse. Usually it's called bullying. Even so, what Chara did to Asriel in the True Lab tapes carries all the hallmarks of emotional abuse. As a very quick run through off the top of my head:

— When Chara brings up how they and Asriel accidentally poisoned Asgore with the buttercups, Asriel mentions how scary it was, but also how Chara "laughed it off." Asriel adds that he should have laughed it off like Chara did, implying that he was far more upset but also that Chara has made him feel bad for being so upset, trivializing his feelings.

— Going along with this, at one point in the tapes (in fact I believe in that same conversation) Chara asks Asriel if he's crying. Asriel's reaction is, "N-No, I'm not crying! Big kids don't cry . . ." implying that Chara has shamed Asriel for crying before. Going along with this, Asriel at another point says, "I always was a crybaby, wasn't I, Chara?" implying Chara has called him a crybaby before. Shaming someone for crying / feeling bad (especially in the face of a traumatic incident like poisoning one's own father) and calling them names is emotional abuse.

— When Asriel tells Chara that he doesn't like the buttercup plan, Chara demands to know if Asriel is doubting them. We know, because Asriel says, "No! I'd never doubt you, Chara . . . never!" Instead of actually listening to Asriel and taking his feelings into account, Chara makes Asriel feel bad for having those feelings or thoughts at all and accuses Asriel of doubting them. This is emotional manipulation and abuse.

While these are only small glimpses given to us by the True Lab tapes, these are also the only glimpses given to us of their relationship, and every single one of them is an abusive behavior. The fact that these abusive behaviors culminated in their deaths, and that Asriel himself says that he wishes that he’d had a friend like Frisk when he was alive and that Chara wasn’t the greatest person further backs up that Chara abused Asriel by shaming and manipulating him into the buttercup plan. And as a final note on that, the “something scary” you’re referencing was entirely Chara’s idea, which they pushed Asriel into. It wasn’t like they suddenly found themselves in a scary situation; in fact, the only one who was actually scared was Asriel, and Chara is the one who made him feel bad about feeling that way.

For further reading on Chara’s abuse of Asriel, I really recommend this meta essay. It goes into heavy detail with referenced sources on abusive behaviors and the behaviors of abuse victims, and I really recommend it.

Chara is a kid who's done some wrong things but they're not a killer unless you make them one.

Chara is a child, and they’ve definitely done wrong things (abusing Asriel, attempting to slaughter a village of humans, later on murdering Sans, Asgore, and Flowey, and then destroying the world) — but they were a killer prior to their death, as Asriel tells us himself:

(Screenshot edit courtesy of NoChocolate.)

If you’ll recall, when Charasriel was seen carrying Chara’s dead body into the village of humans, the humans—understandably terrified and upset—attacked. Since Chara came from this village (and had a working brain), they had to have known that the sight of a humongous monster carrying a dead child would prompt the humans to attack. In other words, they picked that fight. They then wanted to use the power they had since fusing with Asriel to slaughter the village of humans. The only reason they weren’t able to commit any murders was because Asriel refused. So the idea that Chara only gained bloodlust because of the player’s actions is demonstrably false when Asriel’s words at the end of True Pacifist are taken into account. Chara always wanted to murder. Chara committed suicide with the intention of fusing with Asriel and then using that power to commit murder because they—again in Asriel’s words at the end of True Pacifist—hated humanity. It was Asriel’s refusal that made that plan fail, which Chara punishes him for by brutally murdering him at the end of the genocide route.

So all in all, you seem to be operating on a fanon idea of Chara, which is that Chara was an innocent child who was manipulated into what they did. In truth, the only innocent children that are manipulated / forced into murder in Undertale are Asriel (because his actions as Flowey directly stem from the emotional abuse that Chara doled out on him while alive / until his death) and Frisk (who is the one actually forced to do the stabbings throughout the genocide route). While Chara doesn’t have the power to murder before the very end of the genocide route (and only gain that power because you, the player, choose to start and continue that route and force Frisk into stabbing every monster you come across), they encourage and help you as much as they can until they have the power to take Frisk’s body for their own. The only thing they question is why you’d have any sentimental attachment to the world at all, but provided you don’t let that “perverted sentimentality” get in the way of erasing said world, Chara thinks you’re a great partner. 

(Screenshot courtesy of NoChocolate.)

[writethelifeyouwant]

Alpha and Omega - Ch 2 / 2

Pairing: Sam x Dean Rating: 18+ Tags: A/B/O, Darkness magic,  Alpha!Dean, Omega!Sam, Dub-Con (biological necessity), little bit of meta (cuz why not), Sam’s a needy mess, Dean is possessive af  Word Count: 4k Created for: @first-time-wincest-fest​ - 12x02 Mamma Mia | @spnabobingo​ - Male Omega | Summary: Amara wants to thank Dean by giving him the thing he needs most – Sam – but she knows the boys are stubborn, so she’s going to have to be creative. Problem is, she doesn’t tell Dean or Sam what she’s put in motion, and magic can be unpredictable.

Despite the many apparent flaws of these British Men of Letters dicks, at least Mick has the good sense to let Dean and Sam go. He offers to try helping Sam, but he doesn’t have any more ideas about his condition than that blonde bitch does, so Dean declines and gets Sam the hell out of dodge.

The moment they make it over the property line and past the efficacy of the anti-angel warding Cas is by their sides, sliding under Sam’s other arm to help Dean carry him to the Impala.

“Don’t touch him,” Dean growls, startling Cas and himself. Cas raises his hands in a show of good faith.

“I am just trying to help, Dean,” he reassures the hunter, lowly.

“Yeah, um, sorry man,” Dean shakes his head to clear it. He doesn’t know why he doesn’t like the idea of anyone else touching Sam right now but he doesn’t want anyone’s hands on his baby brother. Begrudgingly, he lets Castiel grab Sam’s arm and help them to the car, where they gingerly lay a shivering, and for all intents and purposes unconscious, Sam on the back seat. “Cas, what’s wrong with him?” Dean tries to keep a grip on the panic in his voice but he doesn’t have much luck.

“It’s hard to be sure,” Castiel mutters, laying a hand against Sam’s forehead, which is burning hot. “We need to get him home immediately, this fever is dangerously high.”

Dean rounds the car to root through the first aid pack in the trunk, pulling out a few instant cold packs. “Here,” he cracks one up in his hands and passes it to Cas. “Get in back, try to keep him cool.” Cas slides into the back seat of the Impala, pulling Sam over his lap and pressing the cold pack against the young man’s forehead. Dean drops the spare cold packs beside him as he jumps in behind the wheel and peels out of the dirt road driveway in reverse, gunning them back home towards Kansas.

The use of cold packs and bags of ice they picked up at gas stations along their way get the trio home without Sam’s condition worsening. Dean would send up a thank you to Chuck for that except that he’s nearly positive Chuck’s sister is the reason Sam is in this mess in the first place. I thought she wanted to do something to thank me, not destroy my life. They get Sam into bed without too much trouble, and Castiel suggests stripping Sam out of his clothes to help keep him cool.

“Get away from him,” Dean growls, baring his teeth at his friend. Castiel once again looks at him in confusion, his brow crinkling as he stares hard at Dean.

“I’m going to call Rowena, see if maybe she can help us determine what is wrong with Sam.” Cas backs up cautiously, and Dean is glad to see him go.

Once he’s alone with his brother, he does think that stripping Sam down is a decent idea – at the very least he should change him into some clean pyjamas instead of the bloodied tatters he’s dressed in now. Dean sits on the edge of the bed, gently brushing Sam’s hair away from his eyes. He has the sudden urge to lean down and kiss Sam, so he does – very carefully placing his lips against his little brother’s forehead. It seems to Dean like Sam presses back into the kiss, and when his lips retreat, Sam stretches his neck and turns his head into Dean’s side, almost like he’s burrowing there. The unconscious display of affection brings a surge of warmth to Dean’s chest, though he can’t find it in him to smile with Sam like this.

Gingerly, Dean unbuttons Sam’s shirt and eases it over his shoulders, his fingers tracing over Sam’s muscles on the way down each arm. He hadn’t spent too much time around Sam’s unclothed chest recently and he couldn’t help staring at the contours of his frame. Sometimes he spends so much time thinking about Sam as his little brother, he forgets how much he’d built himself up over the years, forgets about the strength that all those layers of shirts they wear everyday are hiding. Dean has to shake himself in chastisement for staring at Sam’s body and lusting after it like a creep when he’s supposed to be taking care of him. How could he be thinking with his dick, even now, when Sam is deathly ill? But he was thinking with his dick, because even seeing Sam half naked for a matter of thirty seconds seems to be enough to give him a semi. For fuck’s sake, Dean curses himself, and sets about the task of easing Sam out of his torn up jeans.

As he gets Sam’s abnormally long jeans off his abnormally long body, three things strike Dean as odd. The first, that the smell he’d overwhelmingly associated with Sam back at the farmhouse in Missouri all of the sudden permeates the air around him. Sure, he’d been smelling it this whole time – it had been almost unbearably strong on the 6 hour drive back to Kansas – but he figured he must have gotten used to it because it had sort of faded into the background until just now. Secondly, the way Sam’s legs were splayed out across the bed right now gave Dean a view of a dark wet patch on the light grey of Sam’s underwear – gross, Dean thinks to himself, until he realises that the stain isn’t on the front of Sam’s briefs like it would be if he’d pissed himself. That examination leads him to his third odd discovery, which is that Sam has a boner.

“Well, what have we here?” Dean spins to see Rowena standing in the doorway, smirking.

“I’m sorry, Sam’s turned into a what?” Dean blinks incredulously at Rowena, who’s perching on the edge of the table in the kitchen. He turns his head to look at Castiel, who is sitting stoically behind Rowena. The angel shrugs unhelpfully.

“An Omega, dearie,” Rowena enunciates more clearly, like she imagines she’s talking to a four year old.

“Right,” Dean nods, although he doesn’t really understand. “And I’m a–”

“An Alpha, yes,” Rowena reiterates, clearly annoyed Dean isn’t getting this. “Well, Sam’s Alpha, more specifically,” she amends.

“And what exactly does all this mean?” Dean grunts, frustrated.

“It means that you and Samuel are mates,” Rowena elaborates.

“We know that, we saw our shared heaven, like a decade ago. What the hell does it have to do with him being sick?”

“Samuel is sick because he’s an Omega in heat, and he needs his mate.”

“Well if I’m his ‘mate’ and he ‘needs me’ – I’m right here! So why isn’t he better?” Dean growls.

“I believe,” Cas clears his throat, “from what I understand of the traditional elements of this condition, that what Rowena means is that Sam needs you, as his mate, physically.” Cas looks sheepishly at Rowena for confirmation.

“Precisely,” she smiles thankfully at Castiel.

“Physically?” Dean’s not any closer to understanding what’s happening. “So what, I need to go hold his hand until his fever breaks?”

“Well, I’m not surprised that you might want to hold his hand, but it’s going to take a wee bit more than that.”

“Will you just tell me how the hell to cure him?” Dean shouts, accidentally shattering the beer bottle he’s holding. He looks down, surprised at his own strength and at the end of his tether now.

“Sexual intercourse,” Cas answers shortly, his face carefully blank. “Though, again, from my understanding, that will only cure his heat. He will remain an Omega and you will remain an Alpha.”

“What the hell are you talking about ‘from what you understand’?” Dean makes indignant air quotes at Cas.

“When Metatron put all of popular culture into my head it included every story ever written. There are a large number of stories on the internet that incorporate the dynamics of the Alpha/Omega hierarchy. It’s a trope primarily found in something called ‘fanfiction’,” Cas explains. “In fact, there is some ‘fanfiction’ about yourself and Sam if it would help you to understand the mating requirements.” Dean feels like he’s going to be sick.

“Cas, listen to me very carefully: under no circumstances are you to ever tell anyone else that those exist,” Dean groans, rubbing the heels of his hands into his eyes. “Why is this happening?”

“That’s the part I’ve not got the faintest idea about,” Rowena sighs. “It would take something more than a simple spell to alter your anatomies like this. Not even an angel,” she glances at Castiel quickly to check she’s right in her assumption. “I’ve never heard of something like this actually happening outside of fiction.”

“It was Amara,” Dean sighs. “When she left she told me she was going to give me what I ‘needed most’, but I don’t know why she thought this was it. It just seems like some sick joke.”

“Ah,” Rowena nods sagely like she understands now. “She was giving you Samuel.”

“How is this ‘giving me’ Sam?”

“A physically bonded Alpha and Omega are bonded for life, inseparable. Without the other, they won’t survive their heats – or ruts, in your case.”

“So every time Sam goes into a heat, we need to have sex, or he dies?” Dean can’t believe how fucked up this is.

“You’ll also need to knot him,” Cas adds gravely. Noticing Dean’s look of incredulity, he continues. “The base of your penis will inflate when you ejaculate and lock you and Sam together for a brief time. It’s the knot that Sam needs to relieve the symptoms of his heat.”

“What the fuck?” Dean blanches.

“Not to importune but I do believe Samuel was running out of time when I examined him. You really should get to it, Dean,” Rowena cuts in.

“And how am I supposed to do that, huh? The guy’s unconscious! I can’t just–” Dean’s stomach roiled. The thought of fucking Sam was tempting, amazingly so, but the thought of doing it to Sam, without his knowledge or participation, was sickening.

“I can make him a wee draft to revive him and stave off the fever,” Rowena moves towards one of the cupboards in the kitchen where Sam keeps the common spell ingredients. “Then Castiel and I can make ourselves scarce and leave you two to it,” she smiles.

“And you’re positive this is the only way?” Dean presses desperately.

“That Amara is a crafty woman, she knew what she was doing.” Rowena throws some herbs into a small dish. “She saw that you would never ‘put the moves on Sam’, as you say. This is her way of giving you both that little push.”

“Yeah, well, she’s a bitch,” Dean grumbles, dropping his head in his hands and waiting for Rowena to finish the potion to wake Sam up.

Sam blinks awake wearily, vaguely aware that he’s safe and not being held captive anymore, but he can’t remember much more than snippets of sound and scent. The rumble of an engine, the smell of motor oil; the low tenor of Dean’s voice, and the scent of whiskey, apple pie, and old leather. He can make out all of those scents now, too, swirling around him and pulling him back into consciousness – like smelling salts.

“Hey, there he is,” Dean’s voice says nearby, he’s sitting on the side of Sam’s bed.

Sam nuzzles towards his older brother, inexplicably craving the closeness. “De,” Sam mumbles, still sleepy.

“Yeah, it’s me Sammy,” Dean smiles down at him gently, eyes soft. Sam feels an unusual rush of need wash over him like a heat wave and he presses himself as close to Dean as two bodies can possibly get with a blanket still in between them.

“Wha s’happening?” he grumbles into Dean’s chest, looping his long arms around his brother’s waist.

“Short version?” Dean scoffs, but not unkindly. “Listen man, I’ll explain everything, I promise but – right now I just need to make sure you get outta this in one piece,” Dean sighs, drawing his hand down Sam’s face and holding his cheek. Sam looks up at Dean quizzically, unused to the level of physical affection but finding he was in desperate want of more. He nods at his big brother – whatever’s wrong, he knows Dean will take care of him. “You trust me Sammy?” Dean’s voice is hoarse, and Sam realises he’s scared.

“Yeah, Dean,” Sam breathes quietly into the slowly decreasing space between them. “Course I do,” he confirms again.

“Alright then,” Dean gulps and nods, mostly to himself though, like he’s trying to psych himself up for something. Then without any further warning, Dean’s lips are covering Sam’s and pressing him down onto the bed.

The fire that had been smouldering inside Sam for days now leaps and dances, as if Dean’s kiss is gasoline being thrown across him. Sam clings to Dean as he’s laid back onto the bed, and lets Dean climb into his lap and bury his hands in Sam’s hair. Dean licks across the seam of his lips and Sam parts them willingly, drinking in every bit of Dean that is being offered to him. He can’t remember why he needs Dean like this so badly, or when he started needing him, but now that he has him he couldn’t care less. He knows with certainty that the only thing he needs to be happy for the rest of his life is Dean – Dean loving him, Dean kissing him, Dean inside him. Fuck, he needs Dean inside him right fucking now.

At this realisation, Sam starts tearing into Dean’s clothes, ripping through the thread keeping buttons in their places without a thought. He expects Dean to start doing the same to him, but then realises he’s not wearing anything but his underwear, which suits Sam just fine. Dean has to pull away from him to wriggle out of his jeans, and Sam groans involuntarily at the sight of the bulge Dean reveals when he strips down.

“Someone likes the view, huh?” Dean teases him, voice deep and throaty, but Sam’s too far gone to come up with a bratty retort. All he can focus on is that he wants Dean’s cock – now.

“Shit, you look so big De,” Sam groans, reaching out a hand to cup around Dean’s member, still hidden behind black cotton. The front of the material is wet with precum, Sam can feel it against his fingertips.

“Think you can handle me, little bro?” Dean grabs Sam’s wrist and drags his fingers along the outline of his cock, up to the elastic waist of his boxers, and then inside them. Sam’s fingers curl around Dean and stroke him gently beneath the fabric. “Think you can fit all that inside your tight little ass f’me?” he grunts, thrusting into Sam’s grip.

“Fuck yes,” Sam rasps, and his breath sounds like it’s raking over hot coals in his throat. He pulls back from Dean to shed his own underwear, staring at it puzzledly when it comes away from his body covered in slick. What is that, he wonders as he feels it on his fingers. It doesn't feel like lube… “Dean?” Sam looks to his brother for answers.

“S’okay,” Dean rushes to reassure him, joining his little brother on the bed, both of them now completely bared to the other. “I’ll explain later, yeah? Just let me take care of you right now, okay?” Dean’s eyes are wide and pleading as he looks to Sam, and Sam nods; he trusts Dean. “Just lemme take care a’you,” Dean whispers again as he brushes their lips together, and Sam pulls him in tight for another bruising kiss.

Their bodies twist and tangle easily, Sam just letting Dean put them together however he wanted. The heat of Dean against him is overwhelming, the sweat on their skin mingles and sticks them together, pulling at their nerves every time they part. Sam doesn’t want them to part. He reaches between them, grabbing Dean’s cock in his hand and thrusts his own into the same grip. Their moans ring through each others’ mouths as Sam jerks them against each other, and they take turns fucking into his fist. Before long Dean pulls away from Sam with a groan, probably to stop himself from finishing before he’s had a chance to see what the inside of his brother feels like. Sam is glad of his consideration in this case, because if he ends tonight without Dean locked firmly inside of him, he’s going to feel like he’s missing out. If he was more clear headed, he might question why the phrase ‘locked inside of him’ is the one that came to mind but he’s not thinking too deeply about what he wants right now — he just wants.

“Need you, Dean,” Sam pants, widely, grabbing at Dean, trying to bring their bodies back together. “Need… ne—” Sam’s vocabulary has become shockingly singular, and he doesn’t have the presence of mind to be irritated with his brother when Dean smiles down at him smugly, knowingly.

“I know what you need, Sammy” Dean grins down at his little brother. Having Sam this strung out and desperate for him is like a drug. I could get used to this being a monthly thing, he smirks to himself, reaching his hand down between Sam’s legs and rubbing at his slick entrance. “Need me right here, dontcha Sammy? I can feel how much you need me,” Dean groans as the tip of his finger slips inside of Sam too easily, “fuck, you’re wet. So fucking wet for me, huh Sammy?”

Sam just nods blissfully down at Dean; it seems his vocabulary of one word has now receded to zero.

Cas had warned him about this, that as an Omega, Sam would start leaking like a fire hydrant, but at least it saved him having to hunt around for some kind of lube — he’d never needed to have that on hand before, and if he found any lying around the bunker there’s a decent chance it would be cursed or something. Plus, he bet this made the whole experience way better for Sam, so he was all for it. Dean moves between Sam’s legs and runs the head of his cock over Sam’s twitching entrance. Sammy lets out a weak moan and arches against the pressure, trying to get Dean to slip inside. Dean’s about to oblige when he remembers what Cas said about them getting locked together by the Alpha’s knot once he comes, and he thinks better of their position. It will be easier to roll on to their sides and rest if he does this with Sam on his hands and knees.

He manhandles Sam into position, rolling him over, and when Sam gets the idea and pushes himself onto his hands and knees, arching his back and presenting himself to Dean like some kind of trophy, Dean can’t hold himself back any longer. He pushes his cock inside Sam slowly, agonisingly and torturously slowly. Not because he’s concerned about hurting Sam, who is opening up beneath him like he was born for this — born to take Dean’s cock — but because he knows he wants to savour this moment for the rest of his life. He wants to remember every second of the first time he felt what it was like to truly possess Sam, to be joined so completely to one another that not even their bodies can keep them separate. So Dean goes slow, even though Sam is begging beneath him, asking him to just fuck him already, Dean ignores him, and he drinks the feelings in.

When he’s got himself bottomed out inside of Sam he leans down over his brother and presses a kiss to his shoulder, tenderly, thanking him for what he’s giving Dean right now. “You feel so good Sammy,” Dean moans, and he doesn’t mean for it to sound as sappy as it does but it’s hard to regulate things like that when you feel like you’ve just connected to your soulmate for the first time, so he gives himself a pass.

The next time Sam begs, Dean gives in, snapping his hips back and fucking into him as hard as he can manage. And once he’s started he can’t stop. Every instinct inside of Dean is shouting at him to take, to fuck Sam into the mattress and never let up, which Sam doesn’t seem to mind, because no matter how roughly Dean thrusts into him he keeps shouting for more, faster, harder, please. So Dean, ever the good big brother, gives Sammy what he needs — what they both need.

Dean can feel himself getting closer and closer to his release, and that’s when he notices that he can’t quite pull out as far as before. His knot has begun swelling at the base of his cock, getting ready to pop and bind him and Sam together. The fattening edges catching on Sam’s rim give Dean a kind of friction no sex ever has before and, fucking hell, it feels unbelievably good. He grinds himself harder against Sam, dropping over his back so they can be as close as possible, and bringing his hand up beneath Sam to grasp at his little brother’s dick. It’s the first time he’s properly touched it, felt it in his hand, and shit, it feels even bigger than it looks.

“Oh my god, Dean,” Sam groans, sounding absolutely wrecked, and Dean takes that as a compliment. “Fuck, don’t stop, don’t stop, fuck, please,” Sam is pleading with him so prettily, and Dean wants to cum just as badly as him.

“Not stopping Sammy,” Dean strokes him faster, grinds into him harder, “not stopping until you cum all over my hand baby boy, so c’mon, want you to cum f’me.” Dean thanks God that Sam starts to cum loudly when Dean tells him too, because the second he feels Sam start to convulse around him his knot pops and he’s cumming harder than he ever has in his life. The thought of his seed whitewashing Sam’s insides is sickeningly thrilling and he swears a second, small orgasm rocks through him — and hey, if that’s a perk of being an Alpha, I could get used to this.

When Dean comes back to himself, his breathing finally evening out, he notices Sam slumped beneath him, no longer holding himself up. He quickly checks for a pulse, and relaxes when he finds one – Sam’s just passed out. Fuck, he came so hard he passed out. Dean shudders, feeling another small blurt of cum force itself out of his cock at the thought that he’d fucked Sam so thoroughly. To be honest he was a little proud of himself.

Dean arranges himself on his side on the bed, so he can curl around Sam while he waits for his knot to deflate. He thought he’d be annoyed by having to stay still like this for so long but it’s surprisingly peaceful, laying here with Sam asleep in his arms. He hugs his little brother tighter to him, clasping his hands over Sam’s chest – over his heart – feels the rhythm and reassures himself that Sam is here, and alive, and safe. And his. The realisation hits Dean unexpectedly. Sam is finally his in the most permanent way he can think of, and his heart leaps at the thought. The last thing he thinks before he drops off to sleep too, is that he hopes Sam still wants to be his when he wakes up.

Tags: @vulgar-library​ @tintentrinkerin​ @negans-lucille-tblr​ @fandomfic-galore​ @petitgateau911​ @whoreforackles-deactivated20210​ @schaefchenherde​ @kickingitwithkirk​ @little-diable​ @laxe-chester67​ @kassyscarlett​ @akshi8278 @deandreamernp @lyarr24 @lovealways-j @stoneyggirl 

[milstrim]

Comfort in My Shadow

Chapter 3: You Oughta Know

By @iwritedumbshit for @iron-mum

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Ned Leeds, James “Rhodey” Rhodes

Summary: Soulmates are definite in the universe. Nobody knows exactly why they exist, or what dictates who is bonded to who, the only thing known is that they are never wrong. But Peter’s not so sure about that.

Living at the group home had taught Peter a lot about laying low and how to stay alive when nobody cares. But he’d always clung to the hope of the shadow at his feet reflecting his soulmate that had watched over him for years.

Typical that his soulmate is actually a superhero that Peter is convinced shouldn’t want anything to do with him. Maybe, just this once, the Universe was wrong.

But Tony Stark is desperate to prove that it is right.

Ch 1 // Ch 2 // Ch 4 // Ch 5 // Ch 6 // Ch 7 // Ch 8

---

Tony dropped down onto the grass near an empty playground just by the water, laying Spidey on the ground gently before breaking his way out of the suit. The mechanic kneeled beside the teenager, grabbing his wrist and tearing the webshooter off of it. He pressed two fingers against the boy's wrist, sighing in relief when he could make out a surprisingly strong pulse. The relief only lasted for a moment before he moved onto the fact that the kid still wasn't moving.

Hesitating for only a moment, he reached for the mask.

A hand shot up just as his fingers brushed against the fabric, slapping his own hand away sloppily. Tony didn't mind, only letting out a sigh and sinking back onto his knees in relief as Spidey sat up, coughing so hard his whole body shook. The kid tore his mask up to his nose to throw up mouthfuls of murky water before settling back onto his elbows and pulling the mask back down harshly. Tony resisted the urge to pat the kid on his back, instead keeping his hands wrung and watching the vigilante sharply.

He coughed, "Uh, hey, Mr. Stark."

"Hey, kid." Tony offered him a smile. "Jeez, I leave you alone for one day and you almost drown. I think you're more danger prone than me, if that's possible."

"Yeah, you'd be surprised," Spidey said, sitting up farther before freezing and turning to regard Tony suspiciously. "How did you find me? Did you put a tracker on me or something?"

"No. No, kid, I didn't, I promise. My AI's been keeping an eye out for you, and she seemed to think you were in trouble."

"You're spying on me?"

"No, not--I'm not spying on you, kid," Tony rushed to assure. He paused and then conceded with the decency to shrug in embarrassment. "Okay, sorta maybe. Yeah. I'm kinda spying on you, but I also just saved your life, so."

"I had it," Spidey muttered, but it was ruined by another cough. Tony raised an eyebrow at him. "I did! At least, until that vulture guy showed up."

"Vulture guy?"

In a flurry of words, Spider-Man explained, and Tony was happy to listen. He was happy to hear anything the kid was willing to say to him, even if it began with him stalking out a weapons deal and ended with a man with metal wings grabbing him out of the air.

"--and then he just, he just, like, swooped down like a monster and he picked me up and, uh, he took me up, like, a thousand feet and just dropped me!"

Tony shook his head, wishing desperately he could see beyond the suit at any injuries the kid may have as he reattached his webshooter. He did seem okay though, if a little thin, if the way the soaked suit practically hung off of him was anything to go by.

"What were you thinking?" Tony asked, unable to keep the scornful fear from his voice.

"The guy with the wings is obviously the source of the weapons that I've been seeing. I gotta take him down!"

"Take him down now, huh? Steady, Crockett, there are people who handle this sort of thing."

"The Avengers?"

"No. No, no. This is a little below their pay grade," Tony explained. Spidey's eyes narrowed at him. "Look, forget the flying vulture guy, please."

"What? No! He's putting weapons out on the street, my street, I've gotta keep looking for him."

Tony pursed his lip, resisting the urge to argue further and wrap this kid up in bubble wrap. He relented, for the time being. "Fine. I won't stop you."

"Not like you could anyway."

"You're meaner than I remember."

"Yeah, well, get used to it I guess."

"Does that mean I get to hang out with my soulmate from now on? Possibly know their name?"

Spidey froze, staring past Tony in a tired manner. He slumped down onto the grass dramatically. "What time is it?"

"You're not gonna run out on me or anything are you? Or if you do, can you at least leave something behind for me? Like, a boot maybe?"

"Are you calling me Cinderella?"

"Sure. Cinder-kid. Cinder-whatever-your-name-is."

Spider-Man turned his head to glare at his persistent fishing. "I'm surprised you don't already know."

"I've got a list. Twenty-eight kids so far."

"I'm not a kid," he mumbled. Tony smirked.

"Nice try. I know your birthday." Spider-Man groaned. "Still no name?"

A moment. "Ben."

"There's no Ben on the list," Tony answered immediately.

"What, you just have that memorized?" When Tony didn't answer, save for the raise of an eyebrow, the kid groaned again. "If I tell you my name will you please tell me the time?"

Tony checked his watch. "8:17."

A very long, very tense moment before finally, "Peter."

"There's no Peter on the list either."

"Then your list sucks." Tony stared at him. "I'm not lying, you just need to be better at being a detective."

After a moment, Tony accepted it, though he didn't completely believe it. "Fine. Nice to meet you, Peter. I'm Tony."

"Yeah, I knew that."

"Are you always this mean or are you just in a bad mood?"

Peter ducked his head guiltily. "Sorry. Just kinda hungry. I didn't--uh, I didn't eat dinner. Yet."

"I can fix that," Tony said, holding out a hand. Peter stared at it for a moment before hesitantly taking it and allowing for Tony to pull him up. Both of them glanced at where their shadows switched. Peter tensed before tearing his hand away and shoving it in his pocket. Tony tried to not let his hurt show.

Peter let out a groan of annoyance, distracting Tony from where he'd been staring at the switched shadows to look at the kid, who had pulled out a phone as wet as it was cracked. The billionaire grimaced just looking at it.

"Yikes. If you need to call your parents, I have my phone with me."

Spidey winced. "No, uh, it's fine. Just, ah, I left my friend at a party, he's probably wondering where I'm at."

"Okay. If you're sure," Tony said. Peter nodded. "So, dinner?"

"I'm okay, Mr. Stark. I've got to get back to the party. My friend's mom is picking us up in an hour."

"Then, can we talk?" Peter dug his boot into the ground in such a childish manner it physically hurt. He clearly didn't want to talk, but that didn't stop Tony. "Here and now would be preferable."

"About what?" the kid rasped.

"A few things. The fact that we're soulmates, why you got involved in this, why you run around as a vigilante in the first place--"

"--I literally told you last night--"

"--and why you ran away yesterday," Tony finished, ignoring him.

"I have a curfew."

"What's your curfew?"

"Ten," Spidey muttered.

"So you were already late. If you'd waited a little bit longer I probably could've explained to your parents why you were late."

Spidey's head shot up, eyes narrowing. "That I was out being a vigilante?"

"That you were meeting your soulmate."

"Oh. That." The boot scuffed against the ground again, and Tony tried not to let his sullen voice get to him. "I don't think he would've cared."

That sounded horribly wrong to Tony's ears. He asked incredulously, "Your dad wouldn't have cared that you met your soulmate?"

"He's not my dad."

Oh.

"Who do you live with then?"

"Group home," Peter answered with a shrug. "Our curfew has no exceptions, so."

Tony hesitated. "Peter, can you take off your mask?"

"Why?"

"I mean, why not? I already know your name and birthday. I can find you pretty easily."

"I'm okay, Mr. Stark. I'm good. Besides, I should be getting back to my friend, so."

Peter moved to walk away, but Tony grabbed his arm hastily, desperate for this not to be how his first real meeting with his soulmate to go. Peter flinched immediately, and the mechanic let go as the kid stumbled back. That horrible suspicion in his chest only grew.

"Sorry," Tony apologized as Peter continued to stare at him. This wasn't going how he had envisioned at all. Soulmate meetings were usually thought of with an air of overwhelming happiness, maybe a few shed tears and a lot of hugs. But all Tony had was a first name, a smattering of depressing facts, and the knowledge that this kid didn't want anything to do with him. "Not an Iron Man fan, huh?"

Peter shrugged, but Tony noted it as a small victory that the tension leaked out of his small frame. "Thor's actually my favorite, so."

"Well, as long as it isn't Mr. America, then I'm good." There was an awkward silence only broken by the mechanical whir of Spidey's goggles as he glanced to the side, clearly searching for an escape. Tony bit down a sigh. "Go back to your party, kid. I'll see you around?"

"Sure. See you around, Mr. Stark."

Well, he didn't sound completely miserable about it, so Tony counted it as a win. He watched as the kid swung off of the trees back towards the neighborhood, a hint of hope warring with his hurt. Only once the hood slipped off of his shadow did the mechanic start moving again, stepping into the suit, which lit up as he fired into the sky.

"Okay, Fri. Find me a kid named Peter born on August tenth, 2001 with all the earlier guidelines."

"There isn't one, sir."

Tony thought for a moment. "Oh! Remove siblings as a statistic, look for one in a group home instead."

"One match."

"Save it to the file. I'll check it out when I get home."

 ---

  Toomes stared at the retreating figure of the Iron Man suit, his mask highlighting the flying hunk of metal before he turned away to stare at the playground where he and Spider-Man had been talking. Peter, apparently. Stark's soulmate.

He'd have to be careful, very careful, about how he played this.

Adrian had been set on flying away immediately after dropping the vigilante so that he could chew out Brice for being so reckless, but the sight of the Iron Man suit dipping under the water had stopped him. What the hell was the billionaire doing near his house? It had made him wary enough for him to dive down and perch a football field's length away, allowing for his helmet to pick up on the two's conversation.

That decision had probably been one of the best ones of his entire life. The kid was clearly very insistent to go after him and his business, while Stark not so much, but that didn't stop the fact that Peter was clearly desperate to take him down and had Iron Man even more clearly wrapped around his little finger. That was dangerous, and it was bad for business.

After checking once more that Iron Man was no longer nearby, he shot back up into the air towards his warehouse as he made a note to put Mason u[ to finding out who this Peter-kid was and he searched through multiple names in his personnel, looking for the best to keep an eye on the kid. No one was going to mess with his business. With his family.

  ---

"Alright," Tony said as he entered the lab through the window, stepping out from his suit and back over to his desk. He grimaced at where the web fluid had exploded over the desk while he'd been gone. Hopefully that would fizzle out in an hour or two. "What have you got for me, Fri?"

A screen popped up immediately, and Tony was shown his first true glimpse of his soulmate's face. His heart tugged both at the adorableness of the kid pictured in front of him and the fact that he was seeing the kid for the first time through a screen. He shook it aside, taking in the kid in front of him.

Peter.

The yearbook photo left the smile hilariously forced but no less adorable, especially with the way the kid's eyes read embarrassment and boredom in only a way a teen's could. His hair was tamed down generously for picture day, but a few stray curls forced their way loose. Somehow, he was exactly what Tony had imagined.

"Okay. Full life synopsis. Let's go," he ordered the AI.

"Peter Benjamin Parker was born on August tenth, 2001, to Mary and Richard Parker, both head researchers at Oscorp before their deaths in 2006 in a plane crash. Guardianship was transferred to Richard's brother and sister-in-law, Ben and May Parker. They were killed during a mugging six months ago."

"Yikes, kid. Not a super easy time for you, huh?" Tony glanced at the picture of the kid again. "Where does he live now?"

"At the Queens Pinehill Group Home for Boys under the guardianship of Andrew Fowler."

"Pull up his file. Any records of abuse or illegal activities?"

"Fowler has two DUI's from when he was nineteen and twenty-three, but nothing else. Nothing unusual about him, boss."

Tony hummed, crossing his arms and pursing his lips. After all of Peter's little flinches and shakes, he was still skeptical, but with nothing to prove, he left it alone. For now.

"Mr. Parker does, however, have a record."

His head turned. "He does?"

"He does." Multiple files were shoved in his face. "Nothing serious, sir, but he has multiple accounts of sneaking out and degenerate behavior. Smoking, loitering, and two misdemeanors."

Tony hesitated for a moment, but shrugged it off. He was a kid who'd had a rough life, and, really, Tony had done some similar shit when he was the kid's age, and the sneaking out could be easily waved off by Peter's vigilante actions. He moved on.

"How's the suit coming along?"

"Trials are finished and ready for 3D printing. All that's left is the fluid, boss."

Tony glanced at the table still completely covered with the white formula. He grimaced. "We'll deal with that later. Go ahead and print the suit, and I'm gonna need a couple of things before we completely shut down for the night."

  ---

I, Peter thought, am an idiot.

After returning to the party, he had changed back into his regular clothes and managed to draw Ned out from the crowd, who had been more than a little confused at his dripping wet hair and slightly bruised face.

"Dude," Ned had asked. "What the hell happened? What happened to the plan?"

"Sorry," Peter had muttered. "There was some weapons dealers. They got the drop on me and dropped me in the lake. And, uh, I met Mr. Stark again."

Ned had gasped. "Really!? Oh, my gosh, is he here? Can I meet him?"

"No, he left, Ned. He saved me actually."

"This is the coolest! You're superhero buddies!" He'd gasped again. "Oh, my God! Are you Iron Man's sidekick?"

"What? No, Ned. I'm not his sidekick." I'm his soulmate, which was honestly worse. Peter would be a better sidekick than a soulmate. "It was probably just, like, a favor thing since I saved him yesterday."

"Super. Hero. Buddies."

There hadn't been any arguing with Ned, he'd been too excited. But, thankfully, the arrival of Iron Man had distracted his friend from going back to the party and they'd called his mom so they could leave early. Not ready to take anymore chances that night, he'd asked Mrs. Leeds to drop him off right at the group home. Mr. Fowler hadn't been there when Peter had tiptoed through the door, so he'd just slipped up the stairs and taken a hot shower, not even bothering to try and take something from the kitchen. He didn't have the heart for another strike.

His spider sense had been going off the entire time, just like it had when he'd been talking with Mr. Stark. It had prevented him from falling asleep that night, thankfully it had been a Friday. But the fact that his senses wouldn't calm down, even now on Saturday morning, was more than a little concerning. Was he dying? Maybe it was the lack of food? Or were his senses trying to warn him about Mr. Stark?

That was the worst thought of all, but it'd popped into his mind whenever he'd caught sight of his shadow while he was eating breakfast the next morning. Everyone in the group home was at the table to watch his nervous jitters as he tried not to look too starved while eating his cereal. Tim and Eric had glanced at him a lot, clearly desperate for him to play some games with them today. The other two younger boys, Aaron and Juan, were much more calm, staring down at the table in an attempt to not draw attention to themselves. Though Jeremiah was winning that competition.

Mr. Fowler sat at the head of the table, a plate of eggs and bacon sitting idly in front of him as he rifled through the mail with annoyed mutters. The man had a lot of junk mail--seriously, he had more magazine subscriptions than Peter could count--so the boys could usually tell when he finally stumbled across something he liked in the mail. His muttering would pause, the rifling would stop, and he would hum in approval before setting the piece of paper aside. This morning, he found something he clearly didn't care for.

Mr. Fowler's muttering paused, the rifling stopped, and Peter waited for the quiet hum, but instead there was a displeased grunt. Heads turned as the junk mail smacked onto the table and a vanilla letter stood out in Mr. Fowler's hands with large letters scrolled on the front of it. Peter's name sat scrawled on the corner.

"Who the heck is 'TS?'" Mr. Fowler asked, glancing at the letter again. "With no return address?"

Peter panicked, almost choking on his off-brand Cheerios as he searched for an excuse that wasn't as flimsy as a feather.

"It's, uh, a pen pal. Thing."

Sure. Not flimsy at all, Parker.

"A pen pal?"

Peter nodded. "Yep. Um, through--through school. It's new. And we deliver them, by ah, ourselves. I delivered mine yesterday, so, no return address?"

"Fun... What's their name?"

He took another bite of his food to stall, mumbling through the soggy cereal, "Tony."

"Tony...?"

"Smart." Mr. Fowler glanced at him. Idiot, idiot, idiot. "Yeah. Tony Smart. He goes to Bronx... Anyway can I have that letter please?"

With a grumble, Mr. Fowler tossed the letter on the table in front of Peter. He quickly pocketed it, finishing his cereal as fast as humanly possible and placing it in the dishwasher. He passed by the table, promising to help the other kids with their dishes and their homework, before walking out the door and sitting on the steps outside the small and rundown building, ignoring the way his senses were still going off.

Peter muttered confusions under his breath as he pulled the surprisingly thick letter out of his hoodie, turning it over in his hands once before finally ripping it open. There were four things inside. He grabbed the letter first, unfolding it to read the loose lettering scrawled inside.

  Dear, Mr. Parker,

Letters aren't really my thing. I'm more of a talker, as you may have realized last night, so I've left a new Starkphone in the envelope to replace the one you broke last night. For talking. And whatever the hell teenagers do with phones too.

  Peter blinked, narrowing his eyes and his chin dropping as he fished the phone out of the envelope. It was horribly expensive under his fingers and he immediately flushed as he thought about how much it must cost. He didn't think it was even on the market yet. He shook his head and blinked furiously, returning to the letter.

  I've also included a Stark Industries badge that will get you into the tower for the next week or so until we move to the compound. You'll receive a new one once badges are printed for the Avengers Compound. My forehead of security will be very excited to be on the job. There's also a credit card connected to my account if you're ever in trouble or in the mood for something to eat. Of course, I don't know what your schedule is, but call me whenever, and you're always welcome in Casa de Stark.

-TS

P.S. Stop by the tower if you can today. I've got a surprise I think you'll like.

  Go to the tower? Peter glanced around the street nervously. He guessed it couldn't hurt, as long as he got all his Saturday chores done first.

After a moment of hesitation, the teenager folded up the letter, stuffing it in his pocket before turning back to the rest of the contents in the envelope. Like Mr. Stark had said, there was a Stark Industries badge, with his embarrassing yearbook photo and his name printed in bold letters, and an ebony credit card that practically gleamed even in the weak light of the gray day.

"The hell..." he muttered, staring at it. He didn't even want to begin thinking about how much stuff he could buy with this thing. The thought made him nauseous, and he moved to stuff it in his pocket as well, when he paused. His pocket was a horrible place to put this thing. He didn't plan on using it, but he'd have an actual stroke if he managed to lose it, or worse, if someone stole it. Mr. Stark already didn't seem overwhelmingly thrilled to have a snotty kid as his soulmate, no need to disappoint him further.

Peter went back inside, placing the card in his thin leather wallet that he kept in his bag, clipping his badge to the backpack, and then stuffing the letter underneath his mattress. Before he went to move back downstairs, his stomach rumbled and his eyes strayed back to the card. Mr. Stark had said he could use it whenever...and it wasn't like snacks were going to drain his account or anything. He bit his lip, forcing himself to turn back around and down the stairs. He wasn't a charity case, and he wasn't going to just abuse Mr. Stark's money like that.

The teenager shook his head as he hurried back to the common floor to begin cleaning up the kitchen as he tried not to think about how hungry he was going to be tonight. Only breakfast was allowed when grounded at Queens Pinehill Group Home for Boys, so tonight was going to be so much worse without a school provided lunch. And falling asleep last night had been almost impossible thanks to the gnawing pain in the pit of his stomach. Whatever. He'd figure it out somehow.

Cleaning the kitchen didn't take very long, both him and Jeremiah burning through the dishes and putting away food in less than ten minutes while the younger kids sat silently at the table, trepidatious noses stuck in books, though they'd been allowed a moment of calm reprieve when Mr. Fowler had stumbled upstairs for a few minutes before plopping back downstairs into his usual seat. Once the two were done, Jeremiah went to take out the trash while Peter stepped over to Mr. Fowler, who was just finishing scribbling on a thin piece of paper.

"I expect the receipt as usual, Parker. Not a penny missing." The man thrust the list in his hand along with a wad of tightly wrapped cash that Peter accepted more than a little nervously. Mr. Fowler was very particular about his money. "And don't forget to check the eggs to make sure they're not broken."

"Yes, sir," Peter nodded.

"And take the others with you. I need a few hours of peace."

"Yes, sir," he said again.

He motioned for the children to grab their bags from the hooks by the door while Peter dashed up the stairs and back down again with his own. He never left home without it, and the kids needed something to hold their stuff. Not that he would mind carrying a couple of books, but they had to carry all the groceries back, so the more free hands the better.

The ragtag group bounced onto the cracked sidewalk, the kids waving goodbyes to Jeremiah as they headed off towards the nearest grocery story. There was some excited babble as they all crowded around Peter, words tumbling from prepubescent lips as they all finally got their chance to inform Peter of their very eventful week. Mr. Fowler was never very excited to have the kids talking all at once. It disturbed his constant hangovers.

"One at a time, one at a time," Peter said with a reluctant smile. The chatter died down. "Youngest first."

Eric grabbed Peter's hand in response, the nine year-old babbling away about something new he'd learned in class and something funny his friend had said on Monday that he'd been waiting all week to tell Peter. Next was Juan, who had similar tellings, but the teenager responded just enthusiastically as he did Eric until they went all the way through the stories and ended up at the cheap grocery store.

Peter stopped them before going inside. "Rules?"

"Don't touch anything," all four chorused, continuing down the list. 1. Don't touch anything. 2. Stay by Peter. And 3. Hold your buddy's hand the whole time. Once they'd repeated them all, Peter nodded and led them inside.

The teenager tried his best to get everything on Mr. Fowler's list quickly, but refused to not double check for the cheaper brands that Mr. Fowler was always so insistent he buy. It irked Peter off, especially since grocery money came from the state and not the man, but there wasn't anything Peter could do without getting another strike, so he grabbed the blandest cheerios and the most unhealthy oatmeal and placed them in the basket in annoyance, doing his best to avoid any aisle with some kind of bright sugar. He still caught the other kids looking at cookies and cartons of ice cream longingly though.

Finally, after an agonizingly long time, they were all checked out and laden with groceries as they headed down the sidewalk back to the group home. There was more chatter from the kids as they pointed at fluttering pigeons and scurrying rats. There was even a parrot at one point that Peter was sure someone was looking for. He'd check around online later and see if he could give someone a tip about the scarlet bird that's shit narrowly missed Eric.

All was going well until the chime of an ice cream truck began down the small neighborhood street. Feet stopped and heads turned as the bright pink vehicle stopped in front of a group of clamoring kids. Peter could practically feel their want for something other than the same breakfast and dinner they got every day. Their most interesting meal was usually their school lunches, which was honestly more pitiful than anything the teenager could ever dream of.

Peter bit his lip as he stared at the ice cream truck and then sighed, setting down his groceries and opening the pocket of his backpack where he'd placed his wallet earlier. The wallet that now had a shiny black card connected directly to a billionaire that could give these kids a fun morning for once.

The wallet that was nowhere to be seen.

"Fuck," Peter muttered.

Eric gasped, pointing at Peter who was now practically tearing apart his backpack looking for the thing, panic rising in his chest. "Peter said a bad word!"

"Shit," Juan said in response. There were some giggles from the older kids but Eric gasped again. Peter ignored them, strangling in a reluctant breath as his hands finally stilled after coming away with nothing.

How the hell had he lost it? He'd had it for barely an hour! Think, Parker, think. It had been in his bag, he knew that. He'd put it in the second lowest pocket of his backpack, which he'd left upstairs. All the boys had been at the table, and Jeremiah had been cleaning the kitchen with him the entire time. Had someone stolen it at the store? It was possible but unlikely, what with his spider sense and the fact that four kids who'd grown up in New York's foster system paying constant attention to him. So how could it have--

Peter paused, bringing his hands up to cover the bottom half of his face as he clenched his teeth harder than he remembered having ever done before. Mr. Fowler had gone upstairs. And Peter's story had been complete bullshit. He must have found his wallet and taken it upon seeing the shiny black card just perfectly poised for the taking.

His legs stiff with terror, Peter stuffed everything he'd taken out of his bag back into it haphazardly, zipping it shut so harshly the tab ripped completely off. He grunted, throwing the piece of plastic to the ground and clutching his groceries back in his hands before stomping off. The kids stumbled after him once they'd realized he'd begun to move.

"Peter!! Wait up!" Tim called.

Peter forced himself to pause for them, but continued on the moment they were caught up to him. He tried to calm himself, but he couldn't stop the way his face contorted and he seethed in fury. He didn't give two flying shits about the crumpled bills in his wallet the man had taken, or the few personal items he'd kept in the wallet from his late uncle, but he was horribly angry that the man had taken something that was barely even Peter's.

There was no way in hell the teenager was going to explain to Mr. Stark that the card had been stolen from him not even a day after he'd gotten it. There was no way in hell was Peter going to explain that he, an enhanced that had just touted last night that he could take on the flying vulture guy, that he couldn't stand up to his foster father. Mr. Stark dealt with aliens. Peter could deal with Mr. Fowler.

His steps faltered.

He could. He could do it.

As he later found out, he couldn't.

  ---

Peter crept up the stairs of the Queens Pinehill Group Home for Boys, having already set all the groceries he'd had on the kitchen counter for the other kids to put away. He tried to keep the shaking from his fear, unsure if it stemmed from fear or anger, but he was largely unsuccessful as he stalked past the kids' rooms and approached the one at the end of the hall.

As far as Peter knew, no one had gone into Mr. Fowler's room before. There usually wasn't a point. The man kept such meticulous track of his belongings that it was impossible to take something without him noticing sooner or later, and, not only that, but Peter was used to the click of a lock sliding shut whenever the man left his room unattended or went to sleep for the night. It left the teenager facing the unknown as he finally stepped in front of the door that was, in that moment, bigger than anything he'd ever seen.

He took in a shaky breath. Maybe this was a bad idea. The ringing of fear trembling up and down his entire self told him so.

But the anger wasn't completely overridden by the fear, and Peter was full of bad ideas anyway, so he raised a fist and knocked rapidly. There was no response, so Peter knocked again, just as forceful as last time but now more hesitant.

With a horrifying shiver down his spine, the door swung open. Peter swallowed but refused to take the step back that he desperately wanted to as Mr. Fowler towered over him. The smell of alcohol wasn't any kind of freshly strong like it had been a couple of nights ago, which was the only thing reassuring about the moment.

"What do you want?" Mr. Fowler demanded.

"My wallet." He willed his voice not to break.

Mr. Fowler's eyes narrowed as a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "What?"

"My wallet. You took it and I want it back."

"It's my house, so it's my wallet."

"No it's not! It was my uncle's!" he protested.

"Oh, and was this your uncle's too?" The shiny black card was pulled out his pocket as Mr. Fowler flashed him a toothy grin. Peter's hands twitched with the need to reach out for it, but he kept his fists balled at his side. "Lying to your foster father now, huh? That was a nice little letter under your bed, too. New sugar daddy or something?"

Peter blanched, but then his face turned ghostly white. His voice was a horrified whisper. "You took my letter?"

"Under your bed? Really? You didn't even try, son!" Mr. Fowler taunted, pulling out a piece of crumpled paper and forcing it into Peter's hands. He tore it open, but the paper was so wrinkled he could barely read it anymore. "So, Tony Stark? I don't know if you sucked his dick or something, but I'm sure this card has plenty for me to use if it's connected to his account."

"What? No! That doesn't belong--"

He was cut off by a hand tugging a fistful of his hair. Peter winced but refused to let out a yelped cry even as he was dragged into Mr. Fowler's room. It wasn't much, he realized as he peered through squinted eyes at the bedroom. It was somehow grimy and tidy at the same time, with dust and dirt covering just about every corner, but his belongings were neatly lined and organized on the desk and bedside table. The only other thing that screamed about Mr. Fowler's uncleanliness was the bottles littering the floor that Peter had to fight not to trip over, made only harder as the fist let go of his hair and slapped him into the nearest wall.

"Now listen here, you little shit," Mr. Fowler started, cornering the scrambling teenager as his voice boomed so loud that surely all the kids downstairs could hear him. "I clothe you and house you and feed you, and I will not tolerate your levels of disrespect when you do nothing but run around like the little ungrateful shit you are! Anything you earn while under my roof belongs to me!"

"No it doesn't!" Peter found the courage to shout back. Mr. Fowler blinked in scowled surprise. "And you barely do any of that shit! I had these clothes before I got here, and you barely feed me! You barely feed any of the kids down there!! What the hell is wrong--"

His face stung with the slap that met it.

He grit his teeth, blinking away angry tears. It didn't hurt, it didn't hurt. He was Spider-Man. Being dropped into a lake had hurt, this was nothing. He couldn't really be hurt while he had these powers. He couldn't.

"SHUT UP!!!"

Peter cowered.

"You know nothing about what you're talking about, son," Mr. Fowler breathed, stalking forward until his face was only inches from Peter's and there was nowhere left to run. He scrunched his nose and screwed up his eyes, holding his breath against the man's stale breath as he turned his face away to stare past the man's shoulder. "Whatever you think, this is my house, and I took you in after your last foster parent got sick of your teenage horseshit. Sneaking out wasn't tolerated there, just as much as disrespect isn't tolerated here. So I think that's another strike, don't you? Or a good enough recommendation could get you to a juvenile detention center instead."

"No, please--"

The hand was in his hair again, tearing him forward with a pained wince and forcing him through the door. When Peter smacked up against the wall, he realized it wasn't the door to the hallway.

Scrambling, he swung around just in time to see the door slam shut and then click with the eerie noise of a lock, leaving Peter in the dark closet that was full of nothing but the stench of dirty clothes piled around his feet and the clinking of dusty bottles. He swallowed, wishing desperately he didn't make such stupid decisions, that he'd just kept his head down and forgotten about it and--

"Stay nice and quiet, and you'll be let out soon," Mr. Fowler called before the sound of the door clicked shut and the groaning of wood told him that the man was walking away.

And Peter was horribly alone.

 ---

  Tony glanced between the metal case sat on the table and the window displaying the New York night sky one last time before sighing and stepping off of the stool, Peter's shadow following him. He hadn't been Spider-Man all day, so Tony had no idea what could be holding him up. The kid hadn't texted at all either, though he was sure he'd at least set up the phone already.

Nervously, the billionaire tapped his fingers on the table, one of the last pieces of furniture that had yet to be packed on his floor. He'd delivered the letter himself, clearly addressed it to the kid and everything, but maybe he hadn't gotten it? Maybe it had been a little sketchy for a kid to get a letter with just initials on it and no return address. But he couldn't have gotten in trouble for anything like that, right? And Peter's foster father didn't have anything bad surrounding his name...

With a tired sigh, he asked his AI, "Anything?"

"Mr. Parker has still not entered the building."

"A few blocks out?"

"He does not appear on any security cameras." A moment. "It is past ten, sir. I do not think he is going to come."

"Keep an eye out for him, just in case." He continued to tap the table with a thoughtful hum. Just to double check. "Has the phone been activated?"

"Yes, sir. It started up this morning."

Okay, good, so he had gotten the letter.

"And the card?" he asked. His AI paused, and something hard settled in his stomach. "The card, Friday?"

"It has been in use multiple times since this morning." Tony blinked. That was something of a surprise, but he couldn't say he was disappointed. The kid looked like he could use a good meal or two. He took his jacket off, moving towards his bedroom.

"Great. Glad it's being put to use."

"Three hundred dollars have been spent on alcoholic beverages."

Tony froze where he stood, suspended in a feeling he couldn't even describe. Disappointment? Terror? Hurt? He stared down at the curly-haired shadow, eyes narrowing as he gaped at it. He hadn't exactly pegged the kid as someone who would buy boatloads of drinks, and he didn't even know if a fake ID would work for the kid. He looked all of twelve.

"Cut off the card until the next time I talk to him."

"Yes, sir."

"And track his phone. Where the hell is he right now?"

"His phone's location relays that he is in his foster home."

And that was that he supposed. The kid couldn't buy anymore alcohol and there wasn't anything Tony could do without talking to him directly.

Tony stepped into his bedroom, slipped into some old pajamas, and flopped onto bed with a twist in his gut. Something just felt wrong, and it was more than the kid buying alcohol that likely would barely affect him anyway.

His mind racing, Tony turned restlessly under the covers as the lights shut off around him. Peter's shadow disappeared, the room going with it, and when Tony blinked again, he found himself in complete darkness only broken by the shifting of clothes, the clink of bottles, and the sniffles of someone coming off of a breakdown.

He blinked back awake, sitting up and reaching for his phone. He scrolled through it until he found Peter's number and hit call. It rang. And rang. And rang.

"Hi, you've reached the voicemail of Peter Parker! I'm busy right now, I guess, so call me later, and yeah! Have a good day! Oh! And leave your message after the beep! BEEEP!!"

Tony didn't know whether to laugh or not.

Ch 1 // Ch 2 // Ch 4 // Ch 5 // Ch 6 // Ch 7 // Ch 8

[unsaid-stardust]

The Blowing Kisses Motif

OK THERE’S A LOT TO UNPACK HERE SO BUCKLE UP KIDS

Disclaimer: this is inspired by my friend’s post here (which you should read to gain more depth about this theory and also just bc lev is my friend and I love her). And @reggiepetersbass helped with some of this as well! go support them!! 💜

NOW ON TO THE META

For starters, let’s layout all the times it happens. 

ep1: At dinner after Julie getting kicked out of the music program is brought up, Tía blows a kiss to Carlos before she leaves. 

ep6: during “all eyes on me” one of the moves is Carrie blowing a questionable kiss (I say questionable bc it’s not the same as the others, but is worth talking about)

ep9-there’s two separate times in this episode as a whole:

when Caleb shows up on the grand piano, he whisks the boys away by blowing a kiss

after the “stand tall” performance and the boys poof out, Julie’s dad blows her a kiss

Now that we know what the motif is and when it happens, we can get in to the importance of each kiss, which can be attributed by how the characters react to the blown kiss as well as how it is executed. I grouped them one by one so do with that what you will cough work smarter not harder cough.

Tía’s Kiss 

(wow you’re still here? ok.) Tia’s kiss is very playful and familial. When you first watch the scene, it’s nothing out of the ordinary. it’s something you see in a typical-loving home. What’s noticeable about this kiss is that it’s also very over the top and dramatic, but with warm tones. Tía uses both hands while making the usual “mwah” sound that is paired with a kiss. Carlos excitedly stands up in his chair, an “oh yeah!” sounding as he does, and he playfully pretends he is knocking it out of the park. 

It’s clearly a positive response; a dramatic one too. The show is practically screaming “here! Look at this! Look at this kiss! It’s loving! Julie lives in a very loving and caring household!” which is important to lay out considering that some of the others are not like this at all. it’s also why it’s in the first episode as well as the first interaction Julie has with Tía in the season, but we’ll get to more of that later (buckle in or open the car door and roll out to make your getaway now idc it’s your life)

Carrie’s Half-Kiss

ah yes, the half kiss. i totally did not just find carrie blowing a kiss to prove my point nope Idk what you’re talking about. 

As pointed out, one of the moves that Carrie performs during “All Eyes on Me” involves the act of blowing somewhat of a kiss. This kiss is nothing like Tía’s. It’s not at all familial or loving. No, it’s confident yet a little-bit self-absorbent. It’s dramatic, but in a true pop-queen way. It’s very carrie (I”m sorry you had to read that sentence sadkfhj). 

Carrie is a bit superficial, just like her kiss. She doesn’t come from the same loving home that Julie does. Sure, her dad loves her, as stated in ep 9. But, one can assume that she’s felt a lot of loneliness. Her mom ran out on her at a young age and her dad is never there as he’s busy with his music. That’s all she’s known so it’s all she does. (This is totally not a self plug, but if you want more on carrie pls read here ). It’s practically inevitable that Carrie is the way she is currently. And it’s why her half-kiss is done for attention and receives applause instead of affection. 

Caleb’s Kiss

oooo now this one! This kiss is the most interesting one imo. For those who didn’t read the first post I linked (seriously you should tho bc lev is smart don’t tell her I said that tho), here’s the quick run down. Essentially, galaxy-brain @reggiesjams explained that Caleb manipulates the way each character loves and blackmails them by holding their loved ones and hobbies by a thread. This is where each and every blown kiss throughout the season comes together; Caleb’s kiss. 

Unlike Tía’s kiss, it’s not loving, but the exact opposite. It’s jealousy. It’s poison. Because it’s used to whisk the boys away from the studio, from crossing over, from Julie, the person all three boys love with their whole hearts (especially one Luke Patterson). And it’s right after that, that Caleb’s “last pitch” takes place. 

The one in which he essentially tells all three boys “hey! this thing you love? if you go towards the light that is Julie Molina, the pourer of love that is Julie Molina, you won't have those things, but you’ll have them if you stay.”

This is where it all connects. (but I'll leave you in suspense because we still have probably the most important blown kiss throughout the season but honestly can’t believe you read this far! gold star for you good noodle)

Ray’s Kiss

yay!! back to love!!!! 

ok so we established earlier that ray’s kiss happens after the boys poof out as the crowd cheers when “stand tall” ends. This is completely in contrast to Caleb’s kiss that happened before the performance. This kiss is so much like Tía’s and yet it’s not Tía giving the kiss (more on that soon almost there!). It’s full of love and affection and awe.  It’s not used to accumulate applause or manipulate how someone shows their affection. No. It’s pure and good and wholesome. It’s everything that his daughter, julie, is.

TL;DR

Remember when I said I'd hold off about the connection that Caleb’s Kiss creates as well as why it’s not Tía blowing the kiss? Well, here it is. 

The trilogy (or tetralogy if we count Carrie) of the blown kisses, and the chapter of Caleb’s manipulative kiss, is a nod towards the show’s theme which is quite literally “the power of love is the strongest power”. 

In the first episode, we see a mourning Julie who has lost not only her mom, but her love of music. She’s dreary and dark. But, in the last episode, we see a Julie who is so full of light; literal fireworks exploding behind her as she performs. How does this happen?

Love. Love from her dad. From Carlos and Tía. From Flynn. From the boys. But, most importantly, her mom. She may not visibly be there, but oh is she there  alright.

She’s there in the first episode with the sun that shines through the window as Julie sings for the first time in a year. She’s there any time a Dahlia is present. She’s there any time the boys are there because she’s the one that sent them. And she’s there after the performance of “Stand Tall” as her husband Ray blows a kiss to their daughter’s way. 

She’s what brought the boys back to the studio in the end. She’s the one who guided them towards the light that is Julie; towards love. 

It’s proven that Julie’s mom is who sent the boys back to her when Ray says after the kiss “I still don’t know how she does it” referring the the holograms. He  could’ve said anything else. “Wow! My daughter is so amazing!” or “incredible!” but is that what he says? No. He questions the boys’ existence. This is pretty much the equivalent of a big flashing arrow that points to the show’s theme

And well, even though Carlos answers “it’s all one big mystery to me”. It’s really not because their mom’s love is the answer.

[itsclydebitches]

Hello again! Im the tinfoil hat anon with the long ass asks and I finally had the time to read your response. Thank you, it makes my day reading your answers. I honestly just enjoyed them over a cup of coffee like a good book.

Now, the gun pointing scene I mentioned was in fact the one from the droid fight facility like the other anon suggested. But I really liked that you covered the boat scene too, I haven’t thought of it much myself and now I definitely have!

I also would like to mention I love your “candy bar” choice analogy and I 100% agree Hunter’s “invitation” to join back wasn’t welcoming in the slightest. It is very likely just an obligation as you said. Sort of “you gave us a chance, we owe you a chance too”.

And the problem with it is now I am struggling to figure out how the batch members might change their attitude toward Crosshair going forward, especially Hunter. As of right now Crosshair’s best relationship is not with his brothers but with Omega(as surprising as this is). And I think he does realize now she cared about him the most out of all of them during the short time they interacted(both 1st and last episodes). Even between themselves(not counting Omega) I find most of the bad batch members to be cold and distant to each other. They feel less like a family than Rebels for example. And they aren’t even a “found family”(a trope everyone loves) but an actual one! And I get that they’re soldiers and supposed to be tough, I don’t expect them to share all “the feels”. I just can’t put my finger on it but something feels off. I agree with your previous post, the show doesn’t do a very good job showing or even telling they love each other.

Will Hunter and co only start caring about their brother again only after he leaves the empire?(assuming he does at some point). What about Disney’s prevailing theme and message that “family always love and care for each other no matter what”? I guess it’s “family always love and care for each other but only if you’re good guys making right choices”. There is no room for mistakes or wrong decisions. In the last episode everyone form the batch seemed to have given up on Crosshair(besides Omega). For now their attitude seems to be just “you’re not our enemy” and that’s that.

I realize Crosshair is a “bad guy” and consciously made his choice(and we know it’s the wrong one) but to me it felt like he thought he didn’t even had a choice or rather became so lost and confused he actually thought he chose the empire as “the lesser evil”(as in the less shitty choice out of all the other bad ones). We as audience have the benefit to know exactly how atrocious the empire really is but maybe Crosshair still doesn’t realize that.

So what exactly must Crosshair do to get back “in their good graces” as you say? Start saving “the good guys”? Save the bad batch multiple times? There is a popular opinion on how Crosshair can redeem himself. That he eventually heroically sacrifices himself to save them. I personally REALLY hope it’s NOT what’s going to happen but I heard so many people speculating his story is set up to be redemption=death. I know you mentioned you don’t want “Vader style redemption” either. Personally I think it would be a waste of a character who has a lot of potential. And I just think that the batch kind of don’t really deserve his sacrifice(maybe save for Omega) after how they never tried to save him themselves and how they treated him overall. Maybe he will risk his life to save Omega at some point and that will “prove” to Hunter he cares? Although he has already shown he cares by saving her(even if in Crosshair’s own words it’s just so they’re “even”). And the thing is, he doesn’t need to prove that he loves them, he already did that in episode 15 and made it clear he does care. He actually went to extreme by shooting his squad to prove his loyalty. What were the moments the batch demonstrated they care about him? Hunter saying “you never were our enemy” and taking his unconscious body to safety? To me Hunter “not leaving him behind” during bombardment felt more like guilt about the last time it happened and an obligation to Crosshair for helping them with droids, rather than them showing care. And I kinda of think if that was any random civilian(or anyone other than an enemy or a threat) they would carry them out too just because that’s what good guys do and not because it’s their brother. You also mentioned that minutes later Hunter snaps at him with “if you want to stay here and die, that’s your choice” which I agree can be interpreted in different ways. And I think it’s one more point to it being an obligation that in Hunter’s eyes is fulfilled now. He corrected his mistake of leaving a brother behind and saved him this time, now his guilt won’t burden him any longer.

Anyway, I can’t wait for season 2 and I appreciate you and all the anons sharing the tinfoil hat, interacting and speculating together. Those discussions have been a lot of fun!

TLDR: How do your think the relationship between the brothers will mend or evolve in the next season? Do you think S2 will improve in portraying the batch more as a family rather than a group of mercs doing missions together? What are your thoughts on the popular idea of Crosshair’s redemption by ultimate sacrifice? As in, how likely do you think this scenario is?

Anon, that is just wonderfully hilarious to me. Ah yes, the sunrise, a good cup o' joe, and the overly long character analysis of a snarky, fictional sniper. Exactly what everyone needs in the morning! 😆

You know, TBB is far from the first show I've watched where there's an obvious, emotional conclusion the creator wants the audience to come to—the squad all love each other Very Much—yet that conclusion isn't always well supported by the text. It creates this horribly awkward situation where you're going, "Yes, I'm fully aware of what the show wanted to do, but this reading, arguably, did not end up in the story itself. So what are we talking about here? The intention, or the execution?" It's like Schrödinger's Bad Batch where the group is simultaneously Very Loving and Very Distant depending on how much meta-aspects are influencing your reading: those authorial intentions, understanding of how found family tropes should work, fluff focused fics/fan art that color our understanding of the characters, etc. And, of course, whether someone saw TCW before they watched TBB. I personally wouldn't go quite so far as to say they're "cold" towards one another—with Crosshair as an exception now—but there wasn't the level of bonding among the squad that I expected of a show called The Bad Batch. Especially compared to their arc in TCW. The other night I re-watched the season seven premiere and was struck not just by how much more the squad interacted with each other back then, but how those interactions added depth to their characters too. For example, Crosshair is the mean one, right? He's the one picking fights with the Regs? Well yeah... but it's also Wrecker. While they're trying to decide what to do with Cody injured, Jesse calls out Crosshair on his attitude—"You can't talk to Captain Rex like that!"—and Wrecker's immediate response is, "Says who?" and he hefts Jesse into the air. And then he just holds him there, clearly using his superior strength to do as he pleases, until Hunter (sounding pretty angry) tells him to put Jesse down. If Wrecker had put him into a more classically understood bullying position, like pinning him to the ground, it would probably read as less funny—less "Haha strong clone lifts Jesse up in the air!" and more "Oh shit, strong clone can do whatever the hell he wants to the Regs and few are able to stop him." It's such a quick moment, but it tells us a ton about Wrecker. That he's going to stick up for his brothers, no matter the context (Crosshair deserves to be called out). That he will gleefully assist Crosshair in bothering the Regs (something that is reinforced when he later throws the trays in the mess hall, after Hunter has already deescalated the situation). That he's likely been hurt by awful treatment from the Regs too. That he'll only listen to Hunter when it comes to backing off. Little of this work—that interplay among the squad that shows us new sides to them other than basic things like "Wrecker is the nice, happy brother"—exists in TBB.

Or, at least, little exists after Omega becomes an official member of the squad.

Because, as said previously, she becomes the focus. I don't mean that as a total criticism. As established, I love Omega. But if we're talking about why the squad can feel so distant from each other, I think she's the root cause, simply because the story became all about her relationships with the Batch, rather than the Batch's relationships with each other. Having dived headfirst into reading and writing fic, it occurred to me just how many of the bonding moments we love, the sort of stuff we'll see repeated in fics because we understand that this is where the story's emotional center is, are given to Omega in canon:

Someone is hurt and in need of comfort. Omega's emotional state is the focus + moments like her being worried over Hunter getting shot.

Someone needs to learn a new skill. Echo teaches Omega how to use her bow.

Someone reveals a skill they never knew they had before. Omega is a strategic genius and plays her last game with Hunter.

Someone is in serious danger and in need of rescue. Omega rescues the group from the slavers + is the most vocal about rescuing Hunter. (Which, again, is a pretty sharp contrast to the whole Crosshair situation.) Omega, in turn, needs rescuing from things like the decommission conveyor belt.

Similarly, someone is kidnapped and in need of rescue. Omega is kidnapped twice by bounty hunters and the Batch goes after her.

Someone saves another's life. Omega saves Crosshair from drowning.

Someone does something super sweet for another. Wrecker gives Omega her room. Omega gives Wrecker Lula.

A cute tradition is established between characters. Wrecker has his popcorn-esque candy sharing with Omega.

Someone hurts someone else and has to ask forgiveness. Wrecker is upset about nearly shooting Omega and they have that sweet moment together.

Note that most of these examples could have occurred between other Batch members, but didn't. Someone could have created a space for Echo on the ship too. Wrecker also could have apologized to Tech for choking him, etc. It's not that those moments shouldn't happen with Omega, just that there should be more of a balance across the whole season, especially for a show supposedly focused on the original squad. Additionally, it's not that cute bonding moments between the rest of the Batch don't exist. I love Hunter selling Echo off as a droid. I love Wrecker and Tech bickering while fixing the ship. I love the tug-of-war to save Wrecker from the sea monster. Yes, we do have moments... it's just that comparatively it feels pretty skewed in Omega's direction.

So, as a VERY long-winded way of answering your question, I think we need to fix the above in order to tackle Crosshair's redemption in season two. Now that we've had a full season focused on Omega, we need to strike a better balance among the rest of the squad moving forward. We need to re-established the "obvious" conclusion that the rest of the Batch loves Crosshair and that's done (in part) by establishing their love for one another too. To my mind, both goals go hand-in-hand, especially since you can develop their relationship with Crosshair and their relationships with each other simultaneously. Imagine if instead of just having Wrecker somewhat comically admit that he misses Crosshair (like he's dead and they can't go get him??), he and Tech had a serious conversation about why they can't get him back yet, despite very much wanting to. Imagine if Echo, the one who was rescued against all odds, got to scream at Hunter to go get Crosshair like Omega screamed at them to go back for Hunter. Imagine if we'd gotten more than a tiny arc in TCW to establish the Batch's dynamic with each other, providing a foundation for how they would each react to Crosshair's absence. Instead, what little we've got in TBB about Crosshair's relationship with his brothers is filtered through Omega: Omega's embarrassment that she knocked over Crosshair's case, Omega treating Crosshair's comm link like a toy, Omega's quest to save Hunter that just happened to involve Crosshair along the way.

Obviously, at this point we can't fix how the first season did things, but I think we can start patching over these issues in season two. It would be jarring—we'd still be 100% correct to ask where this "Brothers love you, support you, and will endlessly fight for you" theme was for Crosshair's entire time under the Empire's thumb... but I'd take an about-face into something better than not getting any improvement at all. It is frustrating though, especially for a show that I otherwise really, really enjoyed. For me, the issue isn't so much that the show made a mistake (since no show is perfect), but that the mistake is attached to such a foundational part of the franchise. Not just in terms of "SW is about hope and forgiveness" but the specific relationship most clones have with each other: a willingness to go above and beyond for their brothers. The focus on Omega aside, it's hard to believe in the family dynamic when one member of the family was so quickly and easily dismissed. I couldn't get invested in Hunter's rescue as much as I should have because rather than going, "Yes!! Save your brother!!!" my brain just kept going, "Lol where was this energy for Crosshair?" It messes with your reading of the whole story, so in order to fix that mistake going forward, we need to start seeing the bonds that only sometimes exist in season one. Show the guys expressing love for one another more consistently (in whatever way that might be—as you say, soldiers don't have to be all touchy-feely. Give us more moments like Wrecker supporting his brothers' bad habits) and then extend that to Crosshair. Which brother is going to demand that they fight for him? Which brother is going to acknowledge that they never tried to save him? Which brother is going to question this iffy statement about the chip? In order to buy into the family theme, Omega can't be the only one doing that emotional work.

Ideally, I wouldn't want Crosshair to go out of his way to prove that he's a good guy now. I mean, I obviously want him to stop helping the Empire and such, duh lol, but I'm personally not looking for a bunch of Extra Good Things directed at the Batch as a requirement for forgiveness. Simply because that would reinforce the idea that they're 100% Crosshair's victims, Crosshair is 100% the bad guy, and he's the only one who needs to do any work to fix this situation. Crosshair needs to stop doing bad things (working for Empire). But the Batch needs to start doing good things too (reaching out to him). Especially since Crosshair made a good play already, only to be met with glares and distrust. He saved Omega! And AZI! And none of them cared. So am I (is Crosshair) supposed to believe that saving one of their lives again will result in a different reaction? That doesn't make much sense. And no, his own life wasn't at risk when he did that, but does every antagonist need to die/nearly die to prove they're worth fighting for? As you say, he's already shown that he loves them, far more than they've shown the reverse. Every time Crosshair hurt them (attacking) it was while he was under the chip's influence. In contrast, the group has no "I was being controlled" excuse for when they hurt him (abandonment). Season two needs to acknowledge the Batch's responsibility in all this—and acknowledge that they're all victims of the Empire—in order to figure out an appropriate arc for Crosshair's redemption.

Right now, the issue is not Crosshair loving his brothers, the issue is how Crosshair chooses to express that love: trying to keep them safe and giving them a purpose in life by joining the organization that's clearly going to dominate the galaxy. The only way to fix that, now that his offer has been rejected, is for him to realize that a life on the run from the Empire, together, is a better option for everyone. And the only way for that to happen is for the Batch to seriously offer him a place with them again. They need to make the first move here. They need to fight for him. And yeah, I totally get that a lot of people don't like that because it's not "fair." He's the bad guy. He's with the fascist allegory. He's killed people and has therefore lost any right to compassion and effort from the good guys... but if that's the case, then we just have to accept that (within the story-world, not from a writing perspective) Crosshair is unlikely to ever come back from this. When people reach that kind of low, they rarely pull themselves out on their own. They need other people to help them do that. Help them a lot. But with the exception of Omega's reminder—which Crosshair can't believe due to how everyone else has treated him—they leave him alone and seem to expect him to fix himself first, then he gets their support. It needs to be the other way around. Support is what would allow him to become a good guy again, not "Well, you'll get our love when you're good again, not before." That's unlikely to occur and, as discussed, it doesn't take into account things like this bad guy life being forced on Crosshair at the start. If the story really wanted this to be a matter of ideological differences... then make it about ideological differences. Let Crosshair leave of his own free will, right at the start. Don't enslave him for half the season, have him realize he was abandoned, imply all that brainwashing, give him no realistic way out, and then punish him for not doing the right thing. This isn't a situation where someone went bad for the hell of it—the story isn't asking us to feel compassion for, say, the Admiral—it's a situation where Crosshair was controlled and now can't see a way out. That context allows for the Batch, the good guys, to fight for him without the audience thinking the show is just excusing that behavior. They should have been fighting from the start, but since they didn't, I hope we at least start seeing that in season two.

Ultimately though... I don't really expect all of the above. The more balanced dynamics and having the Batch fight for Crosshair rather than Crosshair going it alone... I wouldn't want to bet any money on us getting it, just because these are things that should have been established in season one and would have been more easy to pull off in season one. (If the Batch wouldn't fight for Crosshair while he was literally under the Empire's control, why would they fight now when he's supposedly acting of his own free will? It's backwards in terms of the emotional effort involved.) But again, it could happen! I'd be very pleased if it did happen, despite the jarring change. I don't want to make it sound like I think they're going to write off Crosshair entirely. Far from it, I think there are too many details like his sad looks for that, to say nothing of Omega's compassion. But the execution of getting him on Team Good Guys again might be preeeetty bumpy. I expect it to revolve around Crosshair's sins and Crosshair's redemption, even if what I would like is balancing that with Crosshair's loss of agency, the Batch's mistakes, and their own redemption towards him.

Honestly though, I just hope that whatever happens happens soon. It's a personal preference, absolutely, but after a season of Crosshair as the antagonist, I'm ready for him to be back with the group, making the Empire (and bounty hunters) the primary enemy. Whether his return happens through a mutual acknowledgement of mistakes, or through Crosshair being depicted as the only one in the wrong who has to do something big to be forgiven... just get him back with the squad lol. Because if the writing isn't going to delve into that nuance, then the longer he remains unforgiven, the longer some of us have to watch a series while going, "Wait, wait, wait, I really don't agree with how you're painting this picture."

[ihatetaxes99]

Well, hello all once again. Considering that the last time I discussed BNHA, it was in an overwhelmingly negative context, I've decided it would be a good plan to actually talk about an aspect of the series that makes me really happy and one that I constantly eagerly await new content for. And yes, it's none other than the good old League of Villains. 

So, since I have nothing better to do, I've decided to discuss each and every Leaguer in order of my favourite to least favourite (although I at the very least appreciate all of them.) Keep in mind that the rejected Vanguard Action Squad members who were either written out of the story during the Training Camp arc or shortly afterwards will not appear on my list (Although Muscular and Moonfish and hopefully Mustard do seem to be making a return), nor will I discuss the additional members that came with the formation for the PLF, because although I really like Re-Destro in particular, none of them really give me enough to work with and I'd be writing like two sentences for someone like Geten, which would just be a slap in the face to people who do care about his character. Also, Doctor Garaki and All for One also won't appear. Basically just the core members who have been present with the League from the Training Camp up until the War will be featured.

Anyway, I've wasted enough time, let us proceed without any further ado.

Tenko Shimura [Tomura Shigaraki] - Yes, it really shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone to see good old Shig ranked at the very top of my list. Yes, as I have said before, Tomura tends to flip between being my favourite and second favourite overall character, but the reason I have listed him as the best League member is simply put, his development. My God, it is absolutely sublime. I legitimately adore it. When we first saw Tomura emerge from the underbelly of society during the USJ arc, he was a pampered, whimpering brat, a manchild who threw tantrums after he lost and essentially threatened to kill everyone, ranging from random children to his butler. I mean, can that even be compared to the same person who took command of an army, broke past his potential and meticulously pulled apart every threat he's stared down? Here's some food for thought, Shigaraki has never lost to another villain. He emerged the clear victor when facing Chisaki and the Meta Liberation Army and in the long term, proved to usurp Stain's legacy and make it his own. The growth is just amazing and Shigaraki is genuinely a more interesting character to follow than our door mat of a protagonist. I have very rarely seen an antagonist start out as exceptionally weak, essentially being a comedy villain of the week, and slowly growing in power, intellect and ferocity. Just a fantastic character overall.

Atsuhiro Sako [Mister Compress] - Alrighty, now we get down to the interesting stuff! Mister Compress is, without a doubt, my favourite Boku No Hero Academia character, he holds the top spot more consistently than Shig does. But why is that? After all, Sako had done essentially nothing from the Training Camp up until his reveal. Well, you see, I am of the belief that a character need not be particularly deep as long as they have an engrossing personality. And Mister has that in spades. I am a huge fan of characters who know how to articulate themselves well, so of course Atsuhiro's constant metaphors and showman persona appealed to me instantly. But not just that, his design (and no, I'm not just talking about how hot we now know him to be) is just brilliant. The top hat, the masks that change to reflect his general emotion at the time, his bolo tie, he has a fucking badass prosthetic for Christ's sake. And remember, as the great Joseph Joestar proved, prosthetic hands in fiction are kickass. I just love him, even as a character who never contributed all that much overall, and I certainly hope for his return in some capacity following the shocking twist of him actually doing something during the war.

Jin Bubaigawara [Twice] - Rest in peace my friend, rest in peace indeed. But really, what can be said about good old Jin? Well, he was fantastic, easily one of the best in the League. A truly sympathetic figure within the group, someone who we the audience could truly feel sad for. Out of everybody, Twice likely went through the worst of the trauma and at the end of the day, he just wanted to fit in somewhere, anywhere. He wanted friendships. And friendships he found in Mister and Toga, and to a lesser extent, Dabi, and a boss he truly respected could be found in Shigaraki. I was, as many others were, completely torn by Jin's death. This was the first major death of the war, and as we soon found out, unfortunately one of the only few overall (sorry, I know I promised to be positive, the war arc just really went to shit after chapter 294, which by the way was so far the last really good chapter to me.) Alas, the death made sense; Twice's arc was complete, he had overcome his fears and finally found a place of belonging. If any villain were to die, it made sense that he was the one. Truly a legendary character, one of the greats.

Himiko Toga - Ah, yes, the blood-soaked minx that has proven herself a constant thorn in the side of UA, whether they know it or not. Her whereabouts are currently unknown (maybe she's doing something involving Mister? Please, Hori?), but from what she has featured in, I have certainly loved her every appearance. Initially a typical psychotic "yandere UwU" girl, she's certainly evolved over time. Her proactive nature was revealed during the License Exam arc, In the Overhaul arc, we saw her care for others, during the MLA skirmish, we saw her backstory and motives made a little clearer and finally, during the war, she was pushed to her breaking point, in a rare example of a character from Oceaniz' War arc video who actually belonged in the tier he assigned them to. Yes, Ms. Toga has been one of those characters who has been given so much screen time due to her popularity that it has definitely benefited her in the long run, at the expense of characters like Mister and Spinner. She's not my favourite Leaguer, but still a brilliant character in her own right.

Shuichi Iguchi [Spinner] - Well, nearing the end of the list, we approach the first character that I am leaning more towards just liking as opposed to really liking. Spinner for the longest time, did fuck all. Actually, he's still basically done fuck all. Mostly a self-admitted aimless Stain fanboy who provides running commentary. But, remember what I said about a good personality making up for a weak presence? Well, Iguchi is not quite as strong as Sako in that regard, but the little lizard boy has certainly grown on me. We've seen him grow into the moral centre of the League, being the only other member aside from Mister Compress to presumably have a body count of zero, and as I mentioned above, has even admitted to himself and Shigaraki that he's a hollow fanatic of Stain, that he leapt on the bandwagon because he thought it would give him purpose in his meandering life. And ultimately, it did, as Shuichi has evolved to becoming one of the most positive members of the team. I mean, for God's sake, he even pleads with All for One to rescue Compress and Toga before they fled the battlefield, that alone skyrocketed my respect for him as a character. 

Touya Todoroki [Dabi] - Well… Here we are… The only League of Villains member that I would generally say I dislike. And that's not to say I don't see the merits to him, I'm just not huge on it. Dabi is the League's edgy boi, he dresses up in a way that only a blind person would approve of, is too cool for anybody else and is essentially a big bundle of daddy issues. Now, the recently-released Chapter 301 absolutely tanked my respect for him as a character, with him being portrayed as an awkward, foul-tempered brat, but I never have held him in the highest regard. The whole bad boy shtick just isn't my thing, Dabi is a shining example of the opposite of my belief about a character; I really dislike his personality, but he contributes enough to the overall plot that I wouldn't quite consider him a bad character. I don't know, he's a weird one, and not one I've ever been fond of. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. I mean, when even pre-Overhaul arc Shigaraki calls you out on being a rude piece of shit, you know there's a problem somewhere.

Well, those are my collected thoughts on the members of the League of Villains. Maybe I'll do another one of these sometime, talking about the Vanguard members, maybe combined in a double feature with All for One and Garaki. Another time, perhaps. Another time…

Moral of the story, the villains are the best BNHA characters, fight me on this.

[cookie-cutter-communications]

It has taken quite some time for Aloe to muster up enough strength to wander through the unfamiliar halls of the mansion that they were forced to call home for the time being. Their chest- or lack thereof- still ached when they exerted themself too much, but it was better than passing out in the agony that they were in however long ago. As their steps carried them through the halls to one of the only familiar rooms in this place, Aloe would place a hand against the cloth that had been sewn for them, feeling an indentation where their injury remained. The indent was deep, and though they didn't wish to believe in something that sounded so ridiculous, it felt like there was still an entire hole through them. "How does one's anatomy last like this...?" They would murmur to themself.

And though they wished to push further amid their wandering, something- well, someone- bumped into them, knocking them into a stumble more than they would like to have admitted. "Ah, apologies-!" The thief would quickly state in light of their swiftness being more clumsy than smooth. Aloe felt a grip on their arm and, sure enough, Roguefort was holding them to ensure they didn't fall over in the clothes that had made just as clumsily as they had acted. The hold was a kind gesture, but one that the scientist was not all too sure on accepting, considering who Aloe themself was. And still somewhat is, in some regard. "Uh, I am unsure if you have heard, but I am going to scout out a place for me and Cyborg to have our next heist. I assume you won't be coming with?"

There was some expectant, worried look in their eyes that Aloe couldn't recognize. It was almost as if Rogue wanted them to come with for one reason or another... but with a sigh and the shake of the head, they would reject the offer. "I am not nearly as swift as the both of you. Not only that, but you do understand that your crimes are both illegal by the legality of the law and of the way this world runs, yes?" A smile would grow on the procurer of gems' face as they gave a breathy laugh. "Do you truly believe that we care for the law at this point? You could have just said no, you know!"

"When have I ever been short and to the point?" "I mean considering your height, I would say-" "I would say you should get going before you say something you regret."

Despite how bitter the scientist could be, there was something about the rudeness that fell more towards the side of endearing and playful. Is this why Cyborg and themself seemed to get along despite their bickering in recent days? Was that their means of entertaining each other? Either way, Roguefort would find humor in such just this once. "If you say so, but do not expect me to let up on using your height as a point of humor." "You only state that considering you are the tallest individual to exist for now..." "Hmm?" "What?" "You said-" "I said nothing in particular. Now get going."

Rogue would narrow their eyes at the shorter, though wouldn't say anything more and turn away to continue. They'd take a few steps forward, trying to process what Aloe could have possibly meant until perking up and turning back to see the other lost in thought. Seems like they weren't the only one who got lost in whatever their mind brought them if they were recognizing things correctly. "Erm, I know you stated for me to leave, but..." Roguefort would pause, making sure that Aloe was paying attention and not still lost. The scientist seemed surprised, as if they thought they were already alone. "I do have one request, if I may ask..." A silent nod was all they were given in response. "Well, since I will likely be gone for an hour or so to find a proper place full of preciously glinting gemstones... Could you look after Cyborg? Make sure they do not do something that could harm them?"

"I was planning on doing such anyways, but I will keep an extra close eye on them without you here to quell their antics." Rogue's expression would soften upon being reassured. "Thank you. Sincerely." They'd speak with as much of a genuine tone as they could give before turning and continuing on their way, just as quick as before. Aloe wondered how the thief felt wearing that new set of clothes. They hoped that there was no unluckiness brought upon by its design. At least those ribbons that they added did seem to suit the aesthetic appeal, as much as they didn't care for how things looked so long as they were efficient.

Speaking of efficiency, why were they so caught up in another's dressings when they had an assignment to complete? Find Cyborg and make sure they, for lack of a better word, didn't do anything stupid. Knowing the half-bot, that would either be the easiest or most difficult task they've had in a long while, leaning towards the latter of the two. With a sigh, the plant would depart for one of the more familiar places of the mansion. More than likely, they were in the kitchen eating stolen ice cream from some unthinking vendor, or perhaps they were just blasting around as they always did. How much change had their living work gone through?

Ah, here they go, wandering through thought after thought with no clear answers or goal. With their steps steady, they'd let their mind take the wheel, something that they had gotten used to entirely yet not at all. The nature of thought, what exactly was wrong with it? Well, it was irrational. Imperfect. It could lead to misunderstanding and fights, fear and destruction... A far cry from the joy that those naturally felt, especially when left uncontrolled. It was trains of thought like this that tugged Aloe's mind back towards where they were before. Their thoughts had become audible murmurs, though they stopped and immediately looked behind them as some sort of instinctual paranoia had kicked in for them. They'd turn around, spotting one of their wires protruding from the ceiling. They'd glare at such a thing, watching it retract. "Best be more careful with what exactly is thought of in terms of thoughtlessness, then..."

Strings of thought would continue to dwell and wrap around Aloe's mind, though with no clear ties or ends to any of them. The only thing that brought them away from such thoughts was some sort of clinking noise. And as they stepped forward, it would get louder and louder, interrupting more of their thoughts until it became the only thing they could hear in what was otherwise silence and their own footsteps. "What is that racket...?" They'd grumble. Raising their gaze, the plant would see that they were right next to a door, with Cyborg being seen flying just above a windowsill in that room, blaster clinking on the glass. So, this is where they were.

"Cyborg, what are you doing?" The scientist would incredulously inquire while entering, idly recognizing this room as the one they had spent most of their time resting in. Their chest cavity ached at such a thought. "I'm trying to count how many people are outside! There are so many of them! I don't think we'd be able to give them all snacks to leave us alone!" "You believe snacks will ward them off?" Though the two of them haven't spoken of it, there was no way one living in this place could go without seeing the large crowd that had gathered outside. Tens, perhaps even a hundred if counted by Cyborg and how faulty their math was at times, just... Crowding around the front of the place. They had no thoughts on how to deal with them, which is surprising considering how much they'd think on other topics. "I mean, you think we could just ask them to leave?" Cy would turn away from the unreadable number of smiling faces to curiously stare at Aloe. "Our fridge isn't big enough for all of them! And all their eyes being on us all the time is creepy! It's like we're some kinda show put on for other's entertainment and they're the audience just waiting for our next appearance!"

Aloe would stare dumbfounded at the other, hand raising as if they wanted to make a point but... Any words they could have had died in their mouth. "What?" Cyborg would ask with a cock of their head, "I was just saying it meta... phh... fffforri... Not realistically! Either way, I wanna pay a visit to them and get them to go away!" It took a few moments for Loe to process what had been spoken, shaking their head to bring themself back to reality. "Right, well, if you are going to do something that is honestly incredibly... For lack of a better word, utterly idiotic... I am going to accompany you. I have been tasked to take care of you, after all, and I intend on completing this as smoothly as possible."

"Ughhhh, what are you, my Nanny? Whatever," Cyborg rolled their eye lights, though they wound up rolling their entire head along with it. "At least you're actually letting me do something! This is an improvement! Hehe, c'mon, let's go say hi and get them to leave us alone!" And before Aloe would speak another word, their hand was grabbed and they were being dragged along. It wouldn't be too bad if they both walked, but Cyborg was keen on continuing to float despite how awkward it made holding their hand. "Wait a moment- aren't you- ack- going to wait until Roguefort returns before doing this? Just in case we need their aid?" "We'll be fiiiine! Besides, I don't wait on anyone!" "It is unfortunate how true that statement is..."

There wasn't even a time to prepare before Cyborg would burst that front door open, bringing them both face to face with who knows how many husks. Did the half-bot not realize how much danger they were throwing them both into!? "Stay- stay in your 'character' so they don't act suspicious of us-!" Was all they could get out before Cy had started striking up a conversation with them. Well, with how energetic Cyborg was before all of this mess, they should hopefully prove to be fine. Now all they needed to do is act as they did when not being the one in contr-

"Hello, Aloe!" A husk would greet, causing them to jump. As much as that was an accident, it was entirely 'in-character' for them- though it did cause their injury to pain them. They had to stifle a wince as they turned to one of the many husks- the one that had spoken to them. "Yes, hello, you... You and your group need to disperse from here-" Straight and to the point, but it didn't help that there were so many here to retort against them. "But we are here to help you two!" Another one of them would say, having Aloe whip back around to address it. Ugh, all this turning and twisting didn't bode well on their still-recovering body. "We are perfectly fine! Do you not realize how many germs are being spread through the air between all of you? This is highly unsanitary! Disgustingly dangerous, even! Air purification outside is harder than you think!" "Is that why your breathing is so weird, Aloe?" "Is that why you're holding your chest, Aloe?" "Is that why, is that why?"

The plant's pupils shrank as they felt hands reach and grab at them. Their body trembled against the touches, knowing that this meant that they were found out. They looked to Cyborg, who had already been snagged up, and seeing their blaster light up for a moment but die down as distress would cover their expression. "H-hey! Can we please be let go? Weh- You guys are holding a-a bit tight!" They... Didn't want to fight these? The scientist couldn't blame them- they didn't wish to use their wires against these things, either, if they even knew how to control them well without being 'in-line'. Aloe would heave an uneven breath, desperately trying to address the crowd despite how they didn't seem to listen to anyone. "I-I did not say you could touch me! Let me- Let us go! Unhand us! Have any of you even washed your hands today?!" Despite their farce, these things seemed to be more cunning than they let on.

"We can't have any impurities in someone as important as you!" "Yes, yes! We are going to fix you right up!" "You're both going to a place full of sunshine and rainbows, we promise!" "You'll be perfectly happy, just like all of us!"

Their chattering would go on and on as the two of them were dragged. As much as they struggled, there were too many hands and too many bodies keeping them from escaping. "How could you all possibly fix us? I am the only one who can do so in this area! I am the only Controller that-" "Not anymore!" "Wh... What?" There was a collective giggle from the ones that surrounded them. It sent a chill down Aloe's spine listening to these things be so unnaturally happy. "Since you were the only one, and you were compromised, it's only fair that there would be another one made to keep us in check! You won't need to worry about it, though, since you won't remember any of this! No more pain, no more hate between you guys, just happiness!" "But we don't-" "But we really don't actually-"

The similar retort caused the two to look at each other in some sort of strangely desperate surprise. Seems like the two of them truly didn't despise each other... That was a relief on both of their ends, though it didn't help in the fact that there was an eye-bleedingly bright building in the distance they seemed to be headed straight towards. Cyborg's struggling kicked up a few notches then, whining with their engines whirring. "Even if I love rainbows, I'm pretty sure I am going to hate that place! And I don't wanna forget everything that I've had with Aloe and Roguefuck! Especially Roguey!!" And yet, their words would go unheard.

"We are going to make you into your best selves!" "We see the tension between you two, and we're gonna help you not have it anymore!" "You're both imperfect, and that just won't do!" "You both want to forget, you just won't admit it!" "No worries, we're almost at the door!"

There was a small sound of disgust from the plant as they contemplated if this is how they sounded when they were just as much of a husk as the others. Sure, they had a few benefits, but all this talk the duo heard was... Cultish and abnormal, unnerving at best.

"The only thing I wanna forget is your stupid faces!" Cyborg would chime, still struggling despite how Aloe had somewhat resigned to their fate. Well, less resignation and more knowing that they would pass out if they put too much effort into this. "Good one, Cyborg," They would state without attempting to hide their sarcasm. And yet, despite that- "Wow, thanks!" "..." "Hey, wait a minu-!"

And with that realization, the two were practically chucked into the building with the both of them shrieking and bracing for the worst. Shrowded in the dark and unknown, there was no telling what would await them in here. At least entering the place didn't seem to fix them instantly, so... There was that saving grace. And despite the danger they were both in, Cyborg would use an abnormally quiet voice as they laid on the floor after being essentially thrown in. "I hope Roguey is okay..."

~

Deftly exiting their home from one of the windows, since the front exit clearly wasn't safe with the hoard that was just outside of their door, Roguefort would lift themself atop the building and onto the roof. It was quick work, made even quicker with how light their clothing was. They adored this new set of cloth, reminding them of how they were no longer what they were- just some thoughtless thief of fine arts. Instead, fine gemstones called to them. And that's exactly what they would be on the search for.

Once atop their building, they would take leap after leap onto trees and whatever buildings surrounded their home. There was mostly vegetation, considering a 'lonely' thief would need a just as 'lonely' home- not that it was anything akin to that anymore. From branches to roofs to whatever else they could scale and climb- the thief took their due diligence not to slip up and get caught in any manner and only using their cane's hook when it was safest. They were a little out of practice with it, to say the least. They'd scale until they were able to get to some sort of vantage point in the form of a building's spire, peering out and squinting to try and spot any jeweler buildings from where they stood.

Instead, they spotted a very colorful and large crowd. What was all that commotion about? They'd give up their place of observation, sliding down the side of the building they were on and doing the same as they did before to try and see what was going on with this mass of husks. The only other time they've seen a crowd this big was before their own home, and if it was the same, then...

A deeply disturbing sensation filled Roguefort's chest as they darted faster than ever, attempting to get a good look at the crowd. They scanned over for purples and greens, perhaps some silver and white, anything to alert them if the two they were caring for were in any sort of trouble. And- to their horror- they were able to faintly hear Cyborg's voice crying out as they approached nearer. Closer and closer they would get, remaining hidden amongst rooftops, to be shaken to their core seeing both of them- Cyborg and Aloe- caught up and being forcefully towed along by the very husks they wished to avoid. "This- this can't be-" They spoke with bated breath, frozen still for just a moment before vigorously shaking themself out of it. Their eyes flickered between the crowd and their cane. If... If they had to do something brash, so be it.

They just prayed that if they were to commit something heinous against these thoughtless freaks... Cyborg wouldn't hate them. Their legs carried them onward, but their mind remained in the same place. Keep them both safe. Keep them away from danger. No cost too great for their safety. There was no sacrifice too heavy for these two to continue living as freely as they are.