#adult children of parents with mental illness
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Any other former children wanna talk about the things our parents told us that we wouldn't realize was pretty messed up/completely totally incorrect until we were adults??
I'll go first:
My mom, the stable one of my parental set and eldest of six irish-catholic kids, used to say "After the age of 25 you're not allowed to blame your parents for your life anymore! You're an adult now and you have to take responsibility for your own life."
Which, like, sounds rgood in a vacuum? And is maybe even, to give the lady some credit, a teensy-weensy bit true? (Especially when my helpless father is taken into consideration.) Because assuming responsibility for one's own bullshit is a super important thing to do if one ever wants to properly perform stability and independence.
The problem here is that this logic completely ignores the generational trauma, while both absolving the guilty parties and placing the blame for lingering emotional damage onto the traumatized person. And that is fucked up.
Yall. I'm three years deep into weekly AEDP therapy and I am still learning that [refers to note cards] "It Is Okay To Be Upset About Your Childhood And Hold Your Parents Responsible For Your Lingering Emotional Damage Even If Your Parents Tried Their Best And Were Generally Upstanding People."
Repeat after me: It's okay to be angry at your parents for how things turned out. It is okay to be low-contact or no-contact with those same people who tried their best, especially if they won't change despite your best efforts to change with them.
Because guess what buckaroo? That's what taking responsibility for your adult life looks like: it looks like protecting yourself from people who would do you harm. Whether or not the people intend to or willfully inflict harm on you does not factor into this equation.
#ok your turn#adult children#millenials#generational trauma#undoing generational trauma#difficult parents#mental health self care#going low contact#going no contact#adult children supporting adult children#breaking the cycle#the cycle breakers club#millenial problems#adult child problems#adult children of parents with mental illness#things i learned in therapy#therapy#thank goodness for therapy#things i'm learning#aging parents#care and feeding of boomers#how to have aging parents#so your parents are boomers#text post
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#at work i not infrequently get calls from parents whose adult children are severely mentally ill and not getting the treatment they need#and they end up in cycles of decompensation and incarceration#and usually we cant help with that#and there's generally not much TO be done#like prisons themselves have said this is a problem#anyway it makes me tired and exhausted and i thought i would get things done after work but now i#want to fall into a depression hole for the rest of the evening
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always fun whenever I bring up an anecdote from my childhood and it turns out it wasn't an anecdote, but actually recounting an apparently traumatic event. at least according to the people I tell the anecdote to.
#somehow my dnd group got to the topic of punishments for bad behaviour we got from our parents as children#and i casually mentioned how i got grounded for months at a time and got basically socially isolated#also all electronics taken away and cable cut on the tv. all i had were books while i had to stay in my room#also the 10 liter buckets of cold water dumped on me and my bed when depression kept me from getting up in the mornings#all to correct bad/annoying behaviour brought on by untreated mental illness#I've lived with this for over 15 years now it's become normal to me but apparently that's not normal?#one of my dnd buddies who was in the day clinic program with me says it checks out with all the other stuff i told him about my childhood#anyway. thought of the day tbh#(clarification my parents haven't done this in YEARS it was only around the time school was still mandatory to attend for me#and my parents would've received a hefty fine if i didn't go semiregularly amd got decent grades and decent education)#now that i'm an adult with a job and am taking care of my own business they don't punish me anymore#(except the one time i was still unable to work due to chronic pain and the painsomnia made me pass out during the daytime#so my father decided to cut off wifi access from all of my electronics for weeks to 'fix me' like old times)#but that was just one thing. no biggie
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#a common occurrence in the united states gets uncommon coverage#white and obviously middle class but still died for the crime of sitting alone in a field - imagine the risks if you're not#he was an adult and not a criminal - just because his mom said she was worried and wanted him held in jail does not mean you have to do it#parents' unjustified concerns do not outweigh their adult children's rights#if your family member is mentally ill and is not in danger at that very moment do not call the police - imagine how his mother feels now#to repeat: the police did not have to listen - anxious mothers SHOULD be able to call the police - and be ignored like so many others
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This reminds me that I had a friend whos parents fostered. Most kids they fostered they ended up adopting, they have like ELEVEN or TWELVE kids by now and only 4 of them were biological. (I think the mom still is fostering to adopt even though her oldest is like in his 30s, so I've stopped keeping track). They were super cool, they adopted multiple kids with downs syndrome and autism and were some of the strongest disability advocates I've ever met (and not in the gross autism speaks parents kind of way). They would go to Disney multiple times a year because was one of the more accessible vacations for that large of a family, plus it was in reasonable driving distance.
I used to think they were super rich and was super jealous growing up but now that im older i learned it was actually because it was hella discounted & they were just really good at finding discounts/yearly pass deals and stuff. I don't even think they got hotels, they would stay with a grandparent who lived in the area.
Based on this post
I decided to be kind and add an answer between once or twice and annually.
Bonus question, how many of you as kids started to figure out the wealthy kids based on all your classmates who went to Disney every year and you never went once? I think I figured it out by 8.
#they were super cool bc they would bring ALL of their kids and kids friends to national parks bc theyd get in for free#i cannot imagine having like#a full 15 passenger van of kids#and then being like sure you can bring your friends too#well just drive in TWO 15 passenger vans#like they wouldnt even sweat at watching THAT MANY children/teenagers at once#i would be so exhausted#but I think they just really wanted to give their kids a good time?#like the mom was a stay at home mom and she works her ASS off#she was really nice and understanding and honestly those kids needed it fr#she was one of the only adults i knew who advocated for therapy when every other adult was saying you could pray mental illness away#granted they did make enough to support eleven children#but they were one of the only foster parents ive ever met who would spend all of their foster money just on the kids#so honestly they deserved it
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my mum is literally mean to me all the time & has always been & has caused me more pain and emotional damage than anyone ive ever known but i literally fell to the floor crying over my dad talking badly about me and that was sooo pathetic to be honest because i couldnt have ever expected anything else and i dont know why it hurt so much. i think it was that he would talk to me in the car and he always had a softer spot for me than my mother did, and when i was a kid we were closer, and then i moved away and i didnt see him for years, so i think it just hurt beyond words to experience such a betrayal of trust so suddenly even just for something so small like ajkehajkehjkdf idk how quickly he sabotaged any remaining chance at a relationship that we had with that and then just everything else going on and on. everything hes done since then hehe
#text#idk how my parents look at their#mentally ill. financially insecure and vulnerable adult children#and dont see the shadows of their Babies their toddlers their little 8 yr old freaking kids#i dont think i could have adult children and not look at them and regard them still as just Kids#idk whatever im on abt..#valkyrie.txt#mostly lately i get sad bc he only cares abt my sisters boyfriend and not mine#bc her boyfriends a cishet man#even though i had mine first & hes a lot more interesting and nice to talk to than hers
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every time i see a post talking about how alfred pennyworth failed bruce for not getting him into therapy as a kid i want to scream.
it did not exist. the idea that children could have PTSD was just starting to be discussed in the late 80s/early 90s at the FRINGE of child psychology, and then trauma therapy even for adults spent an unhelpful 2ish decades dominated by forced-conversation talk therapy. that's a thing that is detrimental to trauma recovery, because if someone doesn't feel safe or in control of the dialogue about their trauma and is repeatedly asked to describe their trauma when they're uneasy, it COMPOUNDS TRAUMA AND FEELINGS OF DANGER.
when bruce was a kid, even the best psychs available would have had training that taught them kids bounce back, that kids don't respond to or handle trauma the way adults do, and that any behaviors post-trauma were almost certainly unrelated mental illness.
i see this esp in fandom circles but a gentle reminder that therapy even when it's good doesn't fix everything. even if bruce had HAD access to good childhood PTSD therapy, he would still have grief, he would still potentially be socially awkward or withdrawn, he might have still decided to be Batman because it's a comic book where being a vigilante isn't as wild as it is irl.
therapy requires honesty, readiness, safety, sound application of theory, an accurate picture of life outside the therapy room (self-reporting is often flawed!), consistency, and more! it can help but it doesn't erase trauma or grief. it's dismissive of the history of trauma therapy to say an adult "should have" had a kid in a therapy approach that didn't exist, and it's dismissive of the actual work of therapy to act like therapy would have made everything ideal. bruce isn't going to be a normal, well-adjusted adult because his parents were murdered in front of him. he could be happy! he could have coping skills! but honestly it would be weirder if he didn't wrestle with residual trauma and grief throughout his life.
and maybe this is just because i love Batman, and love specifically Batman as a symbol/figure of hope and sacrifice and the belief that every life matters, but I don't think the worst ending here is Bruce deciding to give up a lot of his time, energy, and health to work in Gotham AND then choose to parent a traumatized child and actively meet his needs. like you think the alternative is that Alfred is a better parent by getting him into non-existent therapy and then he stays comfortably wealthy at home and is just another rich dude? that's the ideal version? the one who can't help Dick Grayson because Dick Grayson wants to run away and murder a man?
anyway tl;dr alfred should have flaws, yes, but there's a big gap between "flawed human parental figure" and "man who massively failed Bruce in multiple ways, one of which was not putting him in therapy."
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There are realtors whose whole entire client base are downsizing, aging boomers.
These realtors are actual saints and they all get into the Good Place by default. Because their clients are deeply needy and incredibly difficult humans, these realtors do full-service moves.
FULL-SERVICE MOVES, PEOPLE. We're talking landscape maintenance, possessions organizers and managers, professional packing and moving services, even hiring and overseeing housekeeping services.
I am at my wits' end with my father - a widower with undiagnosed autism, enough untreated trauma to drive a psychiatrist to drink themself to death, and a unchecked and paralyzing case of learned helplessness - and have had to go low-contact for my sanity. I am not exaggerating when I say that my father's realtor is handling absolutely every facet of this move except the emotional labor, and thats a job Ive handed back to my father rather unceremoniously.
This realtor is a legitimate blessing from God. AND I AM AN ATHEIST. Do you know how hard it is to receive a blessing from somebody else's deity??? I'm going to suggest dad writes him into the will. I'm not even joking.
If you are one of these humans, or if you know one of these humans. Please know you're actually saving actual lives, and words cannot express how valuable you are. Thank you for existing.
#senior problems#boomer problems#boomers#children of boomers#realtors#senior downsizing#downsizing realtors#senior realtors#downsizing aging boomer realtors#atheist blessings#adult children of emotionally immature parents#full service movers#full service realtors#actual earthly blessings#proof of god#im an atheist and im praying#im an atheist and my prayers are being answered#wtf thats unexpected but okay#mental illness#adult children of parents with mental illness#adult children of autistic parents#people who will not get therapy#men will do everything except get therapy#adult children of men who will do everything except get therapy
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⭐️Mima Rants⭐️
I remember coming across slideshow on tik tok this about a year ago, and even *I* (as someone who used to be grossed out by proshipping) thought was ridiculous…
This is the title of the slideshow.
Just a heads up guys, just like our favorite ships, None of these stories are real.
And if they were based on actual events, wouldn’t it make more sense to make a video about that instead of making up shit that never happened?
But, Let’s go through each of these as if they were real stories, shall we?
First one
“Caleb uses the internet to deal with his trauma”, Alright, I’m gonna stop you right there.
Isn’t “Staying off the internet is beneficial for your mental health” something we learned in, idk, fucking grade school? Cyber safety PSAs in middle school? Something that dozens of people have screeched from the top of their lungs since social media was invented?
Who the heck told him that being on the internet was going to help with his trauma and improve his mental health???
His feelings are valid, I get that. He has every right to be disturbed by Sage’s writings and fantasies. However, it seems that Sage isn't encouraging these actions in real life and keeps them strictly within fiction. As long as it’s in text or art, Sage has every right to express his fantasies.
Anyways, Caleb should seek a better therapist who can teach him better coping mechanisms like going out for walks, yoga, baking, or some other fourth thing instead of browsing social media where there’s a good chance he can run into something that makes him uncomfortable.
Next one…
“Jackie is 10-”
Yeah no no no no no no.. no… NO.
10-years-old. That’s, like, what? 4th grade? Shouldn’t Jackie be watching cartoons, playing with toys, or better yet, playing outside? Why did her parents give her internet access? Why aren’t they monitoring what their elementary schooled daughter is watching online?
If Charlie was going out of her way to promote this to minors then I would say she’s in the wrong, but this story never implies whether her content was specifically targeted to and/or letting minors come on to her account.
I've never seen proshippers create accounts specifically targeting children. If Charlie makes it clear her content isn't for kids, then it's not her fault if some random little girl she doesn’t know ends up consuming it.
If Jackie started to think this was normal, then it is her parent’s fault for neglecting her online safety and allowing her to access adult-targeted content at an age when media literacy is at an all time low.
The last one
“dEGenErates LiKE hiM 🤓” 💀💀
Once again, unless you can present to me a REAL LIFE incest/pedophilia case where proshipping was involved, this is not a valid argument that fiction affects reality.
Alas, we're treating these stories as if they were real. If Trey feels compelled to SA his sister after seeing writings or drawings of problematic ships, this suggests he’s likely an untreated mentally ill individual, especially since he can't differentiate fiction from reality.
What? If Trey played GTA V and started shooting and robbing a bank because he wanted to be like Trevor Phillips, should we consider banning violent video games?
As proshippers, we do not endorse real-life criminals and genuinely terrible people. The essence of proshipping is that all negative or degenerate actions should be confined to fiction. Understand?
End of discussion.
Anyway, as ridiculous as that slideshow was, please refrain from harassing or bothering the artist who made it. They have the same freedom of speech we do, and stooping to harassment and bullying wouldn't make us any better than antis who promote such behavior.
#pro ship#pro shipping#pro ship safe#proship interact#proship#proshipper#proshipper safe#proshippers are valid#proshippers please interact#rant#antis are stupid#antis are idiots#antis are weird#mima’s stuff#Mima.txt#Mili.txt
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! Calling all ed accounts !
I know this isn't going to be seen as much as I think it should but it is important anyway. There is an account going by fuzzypatrolking that is harassing ed based accounts. They are claiming that this isnt a safe space for us and that we use it as an excuse to indoctrinate children into ed culture.
Many of us say minors DNI and block anyone who is a minor
even my therapist isnt mad at me for looking through ed tumblr (yes fuzzypatrolking I have a therapist go cry about it)
My ed developed from physical and sexual abuse when I was just two years old which destroyed any positive thinking about my body, having other adults who can relate to my experience is helpful and counts as a safe space
If you dont want children looking at ed content thats on you the parent not the rest of the internet... parental controls exist.
Many people who have ed accounts vent and don't give tips, we never body shame each other or others, its an eating disorder that changes OUR preception of ourselves not other people
Fuzzypatrolking also claims the accounts they have interacted with have called them fat... which most likley means they are interacting with minors
We understand we are mentally ill, we never claimed to deny that. Most of us are in therapy those who arent like they claim are most likley minors who dont know how to startr conversations.
Of course I am going to get mad at the whole account reporting. I have had 10 accounts termed in the past 4 years and have then lost a lot of amazing people who knew what I was going through and could support me when I was mentally unwell (not that my feelings are theirs to control)
If they are so mad that we are harming minors why are they not talking about fake ana coaches who actually prey on vulnerable teen girls to get nudes in the form of 'body checks'
Stop harassing mentally ill people who are finding the support they need to eventually recover. You are not helping. You are harming. Instead of talking about the real causes of eating disorders you push that blame onto those who experience the same eating disorders.
#low cal diet#low cal meal#low cal restriction#tw ed but not sheeran#tw ed sheeran#tw edtwt#tw ed descussion#ed relapse#ed dairy#ed br#tw ana bløg#4norexla#4n4blr#4nor3xia#4n4rexia#4n0rexic#th1n$pø#th1nsp1ration#th1gh g@p#th1nspø#th1nnsp0#low calorie meals#⭐️ve#⭐️rving#⭐️vation goals#⭐️ ing motivation
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Do you ever just think about how awful it is to be a demigod before you know about it?
I've been thinking about it a lot lately. How much demigod kids and teenagers don't fit in with mortal society. Their mortal parents don't know what to do with them, even if they do care for them immensely. They are labeled as troublemakers, as bad kids, as mentally ill, as freaks and monsters who see things they shouldn't see and have an aversion to authority that they shouldn't have and a strong sense of justice and an inability to sit still, read, play, act, feel normally. Percy got in trouble for getting into fights, for speaking impulsively, he was mocked and spoken down to and expelled from lots of schools who couldn't handle him and he didn't know why until he was twelve years old. Sally wasn't able to tell him why.
Annabeth was the product of her father's relationship with a goddess, and he loved her for a while, but she wasn't a normal kid. When he fell in love with a mortal and Annabeth didn't get along with her or her kids, he chose the mortal side. How could he understand Annabeth's side? She was just a badly behaved kid, while his new wife and children were the normal good ones.
Jason always knew he was a demigod, he was accepted and praised and tons of expectations were placed on him from a frighteningly young age. Part of the reason the others resent him and see him as a sort of golden child is because he was placed on a pedestal and he will never, ever know what it was like for all of his friends to be looked down on as children, to be scolded for things they didn't understand and told that the things they saw and experienced constantly were not real.
Piper was always loved by her father but I think he loved the idea of her, he loved that she reminded him of the beautiful woman he met years ago. He was always kind to her and usually gave her things she wanted, but he couldn't always spend time with her as his job got busier. Piper sensed that her father's attention was occupied by something else, and as he got busier, she felt less supported and stole things and got in fights and her dad didn't know what to do with her after the BMW so she was sent to a troubled teen program where she was bullied for her disabilities and her race.
Leo feared his power because it killed the person he loved the most, and after that, everything in his life was hell. He didn't feel safe anywhere, he didn't have anyone he could trust, and adults saw him as a troublemaker who would never amount to anything.
The books don't emphasize these things as much with any of the other demigods, or maybe Annabeth, Percy, Piper, and Leo are the best examples we have. I just. They're so tragic. They're all my children all of them. I love them and I feel so sad for them
#heroes of olympus#percy jackson#pjo hoo#hoo#heroes of olympus headcanon#character analysis#unfiltered thoughts#annabeth chase#piper mclean#leo valdez#jason grace#my CHILDREN
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I'm noticing that adults are often very offended when they see a child who has something they themselves didn't have in their childhood. I've had someone randomly start ranting about how their own grandchildren have 'too much toys', and how they don't appreciate any of it. They went on to explain how they, as a child, only had one toy, and they had to play with that one alone. They're also upset that children can now use phones, which also wasn't an option in their own childhood.
This is concerning to me, because while busy noticing all the things that children have, which are toys and phones, people don't tend to notice the things we had that are no longer available to the new generations. Planet free of pollution, free of climate change, adults got to experience that. Economy that isn't in this bad of a state, availability of jobs, education being worth something, financial safety, probability of owning a home. All of this has critically declined and turned into unstable, unreliable and difficult to manage situation for children, to the point where there's no clear path to a safe future anymore, for anyone. Current children have to invent jobs and find a way to produce a safe future without relying on an existing path, something that was available for most of the population in the past.
And the availability of phones and toys is not necessarily a luxury; back then nobody had a phone, or a mountain of toys, so it would be unusual and privileged for just one child to have it. But when everyone has that, it would be unusual and almost humiliating not to have it. The prices of these had reduced, they're more available and easy to get. The phones connected to the internet will ensure that the child will be exposed to a lot of information every day, and they'll have to find a way to deal with all that, it can become overwhelming and damage their attention span and emotional stability, if they're constantly exposed to distressing or disturbing information, which often finds its way to kids.
What will it mean for their life, if they had toys and phones as kids, but later on, they don't have a safe job? They can't hope to have a home of their own? They are not at freedom to financially plan their futures, their families, they have to depend on their own parents or relatives to get by? What will it feel like when they can't count on the climate and safe and reliable food sources? What when they're suffocated by the financial demands of just staying alive and fed? What if they don't have anyone to help financially? What if they're rendered mentally ill by the stress and perils happening in the world, all of it so close to them via constant overload of pain and suffering?
Having toys and phones is nothing compared to having an experience of a safe, stable, predictable life, on a planet with a normal, stable climate. We failed to secure this to our children. We have no business being jealous that they now have a phone.
#generational gap#climate change#adults being jealous and dumb#lack of stability#lack of a safe future
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sigh. robot scar whose job is to detect mental disabilities in children + act as a teacher’s help in classrooms. he preforms basic screenings and can make recommendations to parents. friendly and playful and loved by children! sometimes he gets a little excited about his job. sometimes he sees obviously autistic staff members and he gets really excited. he is not allowed to talk to adults about their mental illnesses but. but.
Cub thinks he’s hot. He is aware Scar is a robot everyone knows Scar is a robot except the younger kids (unless their parents tell them) but at the same time he’s like. well maybe I’m built different. Maybe scar isn’t being nice to me because he’s programmed to be nice and outgoing to everyone but he’s being nice because I’m special. And he is special. Autistic. And Scar is Looking.
whatever the opposite of a thank you is to @vexcraft for enabling me. this is how this can still be a oneshot…
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Commenting about my interpretation of Teruki's parents: I think they had the Chernobyl level combination of being deeply insecure people who believed they HAD to have children to prove they were "real adults" and being the kind of people that found it harmless to give their child the bare minimum if he seemed like he was okay with it.
They thought their son automatically would have a perfect life if he met the stereotypical "happy kid criteria" (ex: having the highest grades, being popular, being the best player on the team), and as a consequence, became terribly negligent about anything else. In other words, they wanted a model child without putting actual effort on their wellbeing.
It becomes even worse after Teruki awakens, because the Hanazawas believe his psychic powers make him special. It's just that their idea of special is "being excellent without giving them trouble". So they use his status as an esper to justify their negligence because, "well, Teruki is a very responsible young man and if anything bad happens he can use his powers". Strangers tried to harm him on the street? How horrible, but he can defend himself anyway so it isn't that bad. Their career is keeping them away from their son? Not an issue; they're doing this to guarantee he'll have a good life and nothing changed about his results. Teruki wants to live by himself? Amazing; he is so competent for his age that they don't need to worry about a thing. They are so proud of their son!
The worst part is that all of this coexists with the fact that the Hanazawa parents CARE about Teruki. They genuinely like him and are proud of him, but they cannot process the idea that it's possible to be a horrible parent while loving your child. And just like Teruki used to be, they are very defensive. The Hanazawas are so fixated on "doing things right" that they get aggressive with the slightest implication that they are mistaken, because "what do you mean, we've been following all the rules!". It makes it so obvious that it's more about themselves than about Teruki.
Instead of accepting that they've been negligent about their son's feelings and needs, they choose to be oblivious. Stupidly oblivious. Of course there is nothing wrong with allowing a middle schooler to live alone. Look how great he is doing. If he needed anything else he'd be ungrateful. And their facade of a perfect family is so absurd once you know a little about Teruki's living situation that it makes you want to tear your hair off. What do you mean you're doing everything right, this 14 year old has mental illnesses I didn't even KNOW that were possible for a human being to develop. How don't you know about that. How did you even manage to do that.
#it's important to me to emphasize that the hanazawa parents share part of teruki's mental issues. it make sense#mp100#mob psycho 100#teruki hanazawa#lalá rambling...
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BTW if you think calming corners, sensory rooms, and other forms of dedicated spaces to handling overload, anxiety, or intense emotions in your house is something only for kids - or even worse - only neurodivergent kids, you are largely denying yourself a very helpful resource based on social norms.
Having a space dedicated to being safe and with easy access to things to help lower overstimulation and calm intense internal experiences is something that everyone can benefit from having
Not just kids
Not just neurodivergent kids
Not just neurodivergent adults
Not just mentally ill adults
Everyone - even the hypothetical person with no mental illness or physical disability
There is nothing "immature" about having spaces organized to make your difficult times easier to handle and I think everyone should consider dedicating maybe even just a shelf or corner in their place to having an abundance of self care resources
Self care is not a limited resource and not something that you have to be "bad enough to have"
If you think its a good thing for parents to provide their kids with rooms / spaces dedicated to different ways they can self regulate, then you should agree that if you are also dealing with any levels of difficulty self regulating, that it should be a good idea and good thing to provide yourslef with rooms / spaces dedicated to ways to help you self regulate
Children and adults both have emotions and life experiences that are hard to regulate / handle and both need ways to relax and calm down
Self care, sensory rooms, and coping / calming corners are resources that can help both children and adults with those difficult moments
#alter: fei#alter: riku#as someone who just realized that I don't need an office (ie the socially normal safe space that I used to have)#and instead could just have what all my neurodivergent kids have#and even just young kids have had in their classrooms and theraputic spaces had#and that it worked much better and there was no reason - other than the implications of mental illness and thus social stigma of having one#as to why I didnt just have one#and i am zero percent regretting it this is so much better for my mental health#actuallyautistic#autism#adhd#actuallyneurodivergent#actually neurodivergent#actually did#actuallydid#dissociative identity disorder#ptsd#self care
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Hello :)
Could you please do and platonic Aizawa x daughter reader?
His daughter is in her teen years so she is being like really rebel and all that so they fought a lot, but one day she just breaksdown during one fight and starts crying and apologizing for being a shitty daughter?
I have been avoiding this for so long, and it's all because I have no idea how aizawa would handle something like this. because it goes against everything that Aizawa would try and teach his kid so this may be a little forcefully written, apologies.
TW : unhealthy parenting, mental illness, some suicidal thoughts, probably angsty shit, I dunno, read at your own risk.
We can start this by walking through how this may start in the first place. I think the best place to start is that reader's mom left her and Aizawa when she was very young, and Aizawa, assuming here he didn't understand how to properly tell her why her mother left her, never tells her why.
Now reader is very young so she might blame one of two things.
herself
her father
While both instances would technically work, I think the more favorable option is she blames herself since a young child would probably never blame an adult they look up to and hold dear as the problem.
Up to this point her father has been really kind to her so the only other variable is her, this spirals into social anxiety, low self esteem, and depression. all of which don't help when you have an absent mother and a neglectful father who is both a teacher and a full time hero, which leaves little to no room for children.
(this is also why I think it isn't realistic for Aizawa to keep Eri or a child without another non-hero caretaker. Fight me, I dare you.)
As time goes on, and this child becomes a teenager, she might not know how to properly express her feeling and after being misguided by factors like the internet, other adults, and "friends" she might take out the feeling of being abandoned on her closest caretaker and another source of her problems; Aizawa.
if you purposely yell at him or start arguments it's not going to be very fun because Aizawa has this complex where if his students or other heros represent incompetence or arrogance he expels them or ignores him rather than explaining it to them and helping them improve, this is especially with students.
and since he lacks a true connection with you as his daughter mainly because of his job(s) and past with Oboro which he is still trying to heal from keeping him from bonding with you, he'll treat you as a student like the rest of the teenagers he knows. and even then, you may actually be treated worse than his students because while he interacts with them daily, he interacts with maybe 1 hour every other day.
so from all that he simply ignores you, just stops interacting with you entirely, he's too tired for your bullshit. this action makes the wedge between you two even worse.
if you keep persisting though he will yell back but it's often really short and really loud. something like "SHUT UP" a cold "I don't care." before slamming the door in your face. He knows it's probably not right to do that to your daughter but let's face it. you're just this annoying teenager he legally has to live with if he doesn't want to lose his hero and teaching license.
this is where things actually get very interesting, because let's assume he stops approaching you entirely, you just live in the same house nothing more than that, and while you may act like you hate your father for ruining your family and neglecting you all your life on the outside, remember, you're still that little kid in second grade that blames yourself for your mother leaving and your father not caring for you.
so let's say you realize this and go back to blaming yourself for everything like you did when you where a kid but since your father stopped talking to you entirely explaining your faults to him maybe difficult.
this where my personal experiences come in, I've actually had this happen to me in my own life, and I truely hope that you'll enjoy it. thank you.
---------
why is it that the voices are the loudest in the dead of night?
the moon is gone, the birds are silent, there isn't a single light that shines on your tear streaked face, puffly, swollen, sad, just sad.
years of confusion, neglect, a lack of love in it's purest form.
all because of you.
it's all because of you.
it's sings so prettily, like it's a church choir spreading the word of the lord like it's common knowledge.
it's common knowledge that you are a terrible person!
it cackles.
the urge to strangle yourself to finally feel some relief has never been stronger.
lie awake in the dead of night, in pitch darkness, a proper scenery to match ones broken and cracked soul, be careful, you might hurt yourself, again.
however, one cannot weep in their wallows forever.
the night has to make way for the morning sun.
and a relaxed self pity has to make way to dread.
dread.
dread of him, he who you blame for everything, everything you know is your fault.
it's all your fault.
a click at the door,
the creak of the old wood and the hinges never oiled.
mild thumping footsteps that wander around the apartment that can barely hold your overflowing buckets of tears.
you can mumble out all your pleas.
pleas that this is all a terrible nightmare and your real life is actually one with a kind and loving mother and a supportive and encouraging father.
mumble out the little lies that you made up all these years to make yourself feel worse and other better.
"it's pointless to keep trying."
"I wish I wasn't here."
"why can't I just be happy?"
"it's all my fault,
it's all my fault,
it's all my fault."
the thin walls don't do those in mourning justice though.
for the wind is calm, the branches don't dare to move, the owls, the bats, the sleeping heros in training downstairs don't make a peep.
for the only ones alive, awake, aware, is a man beaten down and broken by society serving as it's protector, ignoring the one in most need of protection all this time. With him is a girl. a girl that's scared, scared of her mirror image that haunts her, a girl who's cried an ocean, screamed a thousand wails of pain, a girl lost in her own heart,
"No wonder no one loves you."
you lie again.
but keen ears trained from years of work with villains hears you, for the first time, he hears you.
not the rebellious teen he's seen yell out strings of pure hatred and fiery insults like he's her own worst enemy.
it's the girl who he saw waiting on the steps to their apartment all those years ago. waiting for her mama to come back home with the promise of cupcakes.
it's the girl who never smiled for the remainder of elementary school.
it's the girl who's heart withered way that autumn evening.
he heard the softest little voice in the dead of night. he heard his daughter cry
"No wonder no one loves you."
.
.
.
"But I love you."
for that whole night, for that whole night.
the peace was disturbed.
for that whole night, it seemed that the moon shone once again.
it may not be the sun. but it'll do for now.
Aizawa walked away shortly after that.
leaving a little girls and her mirror image to ponder.
ponder.
---------
Afterwards I don't think he'd talk about it too much, he's proabably approach you after breakfast the next morning and tell you "you can talk to him about it if you want." but not much more than that
he definitely would change his practices though. like getting you a therapist, taking the weekends off in favor of being around the house more.
he'll let you get used to his presence first like one would with a cat, and one day. maybe years later, or tomorrow, you'll talk to him.
you'll tell him you love him too.
and maybe.
just maybe.
the world will stop,
and everything will be okay.
#bnha x reader#bnha#bnha headcannons#bnha fluff#bnha x child reader#platonic yandere#child reader#mha aizawa#shouta aizawa#yandere aizawa#aizawa shouta#shota aizawa#aizawa sensei#aizawa#yandere aizawa shouta#shouta aizawa x reader#bnha shouta aizawa#aizawa x y/n#aizawa x reader#aizawa x you#bnha aizawa#mha#mha x poc!reader#mha spoilers#mha x reader#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mhaxreader#eraserhead
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