#adult child problems

[performing-personhood]

Any other former children wanna talk about the things our parents told us that we wouldn't realize was pretty messed up/completely totally incorrect until we were adults??

I'll go first:

My mom, the stable one of my parental set and eldest of six irish-catholic kids, used to say "After the age of 25 you're not allowed to blame your parents for your life anymore! You're an adult now and you have to take responsibility for your own life."

Which, like, sounds rgood in a vacuum? And is maybe even, to give the lady some credit, a teensy-weensy bit true? (Especially when my helpless father is taken into consideration.) Because assuming responsibility for one's own bullshit is a super important thing to do if one ever wants to properly perform stability and independence.

The problem here is that this logic completely ignores the generational trauma, while both absolving the guilty parties and placing the blame for lingering emotional damage onto the traumatized person. And that is fucked up.

Yall. I'm three years deep into weekly AEDP therapy and I am still learning that [refers to note cards] "It Is Okay To Be Upset About Your Childhood And Hold Your Parents Responsible For Your Lingering Emotional Damage Even If Your Parents Tried Their Best And Were Generally Upstanding People."

Repeat after me: It's okay to be angry at your parents for how things turned out. It is okay to be low-contact or no-contact with those same people who tried their best, especially if they won't change despite your best efforts to change with them.

Because guess what buckaroo? That's what taking responsibility for your adult life looks like: it looks like protecting yourself from people who would do you harm. Whether or not the people intend to or willfully inflict harm on you does not factor into this equation.

[july-19th-club]

seriously have been thinking about this all night long. call me autistic but the fact that 90% of workplaces the point is not to get your work done and then be done doing it but to instead perform an elaborate social dance in which you find something to do even when you're done doing everything you need to do in order to show your fellow workers that you, too, are Working . because you are at Work . disgusting why cant we all agree that if there is no work immediately to be done. we just dont do anything

[tulliok]

Rare little MLP rant from me incoming. (I don't like talking about my opinions on the show too much.)

I'm getting really fed up with a "debate" that keeps popping up every month in MLP's online fandom regarding the character, Cozy Glow, and how the show ended her storyline. The discourse is specifically about if her actions and motivations warranted her being sentenced to what is the equivalent of capital punishment in a children's show. 

This shouldn't even be a conversation.? Why are fans so eager to subscribe to the show's logic that a child character is irredeemable and evil and deserves to be punished that way? Like, are these fans not seeing the issue with a children's show about friendship and redemption having a storyline like this in the first place? Especially in the season that is literally about a friendship school.

The entire concept is the problem. It's ok to admit that as a fan. Watching the show's protagonists gleefully punish a young child is distasteful. Reading threads and think pieces on why it's actually ok is gross.

I have so so so many issues with season 8-9 but I'm really only willing to talk about it if I am asked about it.

[soracities]

if we should protect children because they are vunerable, this means you would protect cruel children who bullies people who different than them then. the children who responsible to trauma for someone else's entire years

You're assuming that "protecting" children is the same as absolving them of responsibility and that's not what I said. All children are vulnerable, because all children are children; they don't come out of the womb with a perfectly working moral compass anymore than they come out of it waiting to hurt people--they're vulnerable because their understanding of the world is entirely at the mercy of what we, as adults, consistently tell them and show them. Children behaving cruelly aren't exempt from that--they learn that cruelty from somewhere, or someone. Your job, as the adult, is to make sure they understand that it's unacceptable so it will not happen again--but your job is also to ask why someone that young is behaving this way to begin with, so you can ensure they become better.

"Protecting" kids is not ignoring when they hurt or torment others, it's not refusing to teach them consequences or right from wrong, it's not "zero tolerance" policies in schools that treat a child being bullied and the child bullying them as equal instigators, and it's certainly not protecting them from recognizing, and atoning for, the pain they have caused someone else. You don't have to make peace with the now-adults who hurt you when you both were kids, but you cannot let the horrors of your own childhood impact how you treat or respond to the children living theirs around you right now, either.

You don't protect kids so they can get a free pass for bullying or tormenting another child. You protect them because kids are impulsive, emotionally reactive, and profoundly social (which means deeply impressionable) human beings who are still learning & processing insane amounts of information every day about what it means to be alive, to be alive as yourself, to be alive as yourself with other people. Protecting them is realising that you can't isolate the responsibility of a 10 year old from the bigger responsibility of the literal grown adults around them, adults who are in charge of teaching them about the world and how to behave in it. Whether you have children of your own in the future or not is completely irrelevant to this; we all become those adults eventually--no matter what happened to us as kids.

[seysei]

One of the many tragic aspects of Mikuni's character is that if he were to prevent the affair from happening, misono wouldn't be born.

With that being said, the reason why he would want to be misonos' father becomes simple. It's because that's the only way to prevent the affair from happening, and still make sure his little brother is born.

I mean, someone's gotta do it. (Im sorry lmao)

Im thinking he goes back in time, offers Hokaze to marry him to solve the money digging issue, meaning she wouldn't have to go after his father. Preventing the affair, preventing his mothers death & countless others, while also making sure misono still gets born eventually, except it's as his.. and Hokaze's son.

...yeah

And this might be the first time you'll find me not rooting for him.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

Where's my unhinged Sun?

And not in a murder, manipulation yandere way.

I mean in a constantly screaming, foot in mouth, horribly passive aggressive, can't hide his emotions crying if a music shaker knocks over kinda way.

This man couldn't manipulate his way out of a paper bag.

His daycare only has ONE rule because he has no boundaries with anything and is just desperate for attention to be on him.

Where's my unhinged Sun?

The Sun that screams at you.

The Sun who, is very forward in his actions about what he wants even if he doesn't explicitly explain himself. (Constantly grabbing Gregory if he moves one foot away from him cus he doesn't want him to find the security desk or turn the lights off or leave his sight)

The Sun that throws children out of the Daycare if they piss him off to literally die.

He has the mental stability of a fainting goat.

I do think these traits are just a result of being abandoned for so long....

But I just think that he's always had these issues. So even if the story takes place before or after the events of Security Breach, I do think he should still exhibit some of those behaviors. Even if to a lesser extent.

I think the idea steamed from, "oh he works with children so he's good at manipulating kids to do what he needs them to do" hahahaha... No he's not. He can't hold Gregory in place for five seconds before he gets ignored and Gregory goes awall. And the messages in the dufflebags claim kids are scared of Sun as well as Moon. It's both of them.

Everytime I see Sun act with some level of level of passive agressive master manipulation like he's Kira or something....

Cool characterization. Appreciate it. Like to see a new side of him cus there's not much to work from in the games.

Not my Daycare Attendent tho.

[itsrocketsurgery]

ngl chilchuck age discourse feels like it’s getting way too close to the idea of being “minor coded”

like yeah, he looks younger than he is but he’s also married, is considered a veteran at his job, has 3 daughters who are all working age, etc.

a real world example would be… uh… me?

i am 22 i turn 23 later this year and according to most people i still look 16

but also i’m a senior in college i have a car and an apartment with my name on the lease i’m responsible for my own debt and i live in a separate city from my parents and any other family members (i have for the past 4 years) and i’m doing just fine taking care of myself

are you saying that despite me being an adult that i should be treated like a teen because i look like one?

[mkstrigidae]

Sansa sketch WIP with some color tests (I don't care what GRRM wrote, I am forever and always a freckled Sansa truther)

[soupforsoup]

I don't debate who would've won when Terry was about to throw hands with Robby at the S4 AVT, because the image of The Terry Silver consistently feeling threatened enough by this three apples tall ball of childhood neglect and anger issues, to treat him the same as his main adult enemies (squaring up, making a point of laughing him off like "look how not threatened I am by you") is too hilarious to be a practical question.

In the story of Terry Silver, his biggest adversaries are a middle-aged New Jersey-Italian twunk, a barely functioning alcoholic, his own repressed homosexuality, a man who would rather go on a revenge quest on another continent for his old twink fling than confess his feelings for a woman, and a Literal Teenage Boy

[4spooniesupport]

[autisticdreamdrop]

autism spectrum disorder is NOT a childhood developmental disorder. autistic folks' bodies don't just stop aging.

we we're born autistic and we will die autistic.

all autistics age our symptoms don't disappear when we turn 18.

our needs for support do not disappear when we turn 18.

lot of autistics get a lot of support decreased, sometimes completely.

luckily, we are in a disability program that supports youths and teens and adults. we are about to phase out of the youth program, and we will get similar in the adult support program. we we're supported in a mostly mental health way, but it was alters when we got diagnosed with ASD. now we have child, teen, and adults alters, but our body is an adult. we are a dependent adult. needing support in a lot of areas

autsitic children become autistic adults

disbaled children become disbaled adults

art credits - Mia Olofsson from Sketchify on Canva

[laesas]

I don't know how much more explicit the message of "THIS IS GROOMING" could have been without Be On Cloud superimposing it in all-caps text over every one of Non and his teacher's scenes. People interpreting that as "cheating" are cracked in the fucking head.

[lil-gae-disaster]

So. How exactly is Jonathan doing during the spy mission? I really need a nickname for him

He's not doing too great! :D

He's missing Freddie a lot, plus at the same time he's kinda glad Freddie ls away so that he could consider a response to an inevitable rejection. Which is kinda freaking his tentmates out since he's muttering to himself.

He's also very lonely, so he might start socializing after putting it off for very long since he didn't need to, in his opinion (Jonathan tends to keep his social circles rather small out of paranoia he might accidentally be neglecting the friendship with one of them)

He also lost his (signature) braid since he doesn't wanna bother people ("You're just wasting my wifes time with your senseless requests, boy!")

He's also starting to recieve letters from Annabelle and his father again, talking about how irresponsible his running away was (they finally managed to locate him to sent him berate-letters) so there's that....

Honestly I think he'd start getting closer to either Cathy or Giles, or trying to get closer, and just whining about everything that's been going on. After they left that awkward stage of "what should I say...?"

I mean the three could certainly bond over awful fathers.

He's also shivering a lot since mah boy was living in a hot blacksmith for the past years and he had his (high quality) cloak (which he stole from his father when he ran away btw) which he gave Freddie because "you can't die on my due to hypothermia" so he might start asking around if anyone has a spare and he also starts to wear his coat more often than in the other seasons

All in all he has very much a self doubt era where he's constantly overthinking if Freddie would follow Hammy and commit treason and stay with the rebels or if Freddie hates him now of if Freddie might not want to at least be his friend anymore and-

Plus he's starting to have a lot of regrets. Most of them aren't justified though.

Like, it was completely reasonable to leave before he trapped Annabelle in an unhappy marriage and it was also completely reasonable to leave a letter of explanation and it was also completely reasonable to kiss and confess to Freddie

But Jonathan doesn't know that

So he's just kinda drowning in self doubt and spiraling thoughts without an anchor to hold onto because he didn't even talk properly with other soldiers because "why should he? Freddie will always be with me and he's the only one who needs to know me" (bro is lowkey scared of forming new relationships - even when platonic)

Well

Now Freddie isn't here and Jonathan is hanging on by a thread.

(Meanwhile Freddie and Joseph are about to start strangling each other before the argument™️)

[ @hamalicious-soup @papers-pamphlet @marsfingershurt @paradox-complex @half-eaten-baguetteee ]

[thou-shall-fucketh-off]

It’s very sad to see that despite Alicent being the orderly and mature one out of the two, it was Rhaenyra that truly knew what it meant to grow up. As Rhaenyra said, she had to make sacrifices while Alicent, when in time to face her consequences, seek to run and cower. I don’t like Alicent, but her talking to Rhaenyra felt so much like a child begging for someone to take her in.

[stealingpotatoes]

Do you know where Yoda is in your Anakin-raises-Leia au?

Is he still chilling on Dagobah, with occasional visits from the X-many greats grandkids?

Did he see Anakin, Ahsoka, and (later) Obi-Wan trying to raise a baby and think Absolutely Not, they need Adult Supervision?

Did he choose to stay near Luke like OT Obi, but as a mysterious bog gremlin instead of sand wizard? is he punking any imperials that try to enter - think Shrek vibes

Is he taking advantage of the Vader free universe to go around looking for their lost padawans?

did he immediately retire to a vacation world, leaving saving the universe in his lineages' hands as he sips space piña coladas and watches the sun set?

Is he doing a mix of everything?

yeah he's pissed off to dagobah as per usual!! so yeah shrek vibes but on dagobah not naboo ): really not much difference, though Anakin and Leia do (carefully) visit a few times to get Jedi guidance or whatever! but yeah just bc vader isn't here doesn't mean yoda's 1. safe or 2. in a mental state to be a jedi after losing so many ppl he taught ): lad's in his depressed swamp boy summer

[apocketfullofhobbits]

a genre of bg3 posts that are like 'larian did wyll so dirty!!! here's what they should have done instead and that is basically change everything abt his personality bc i personally can't understand how anyone can find him not boring as he is! larian get ur shit together!'