#noblefarm | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lil-gae-disaster · 15 days

Text

I mentioned an argument once. I think.

Uh, so here it is

Frederick was searching for a letter sent from his father, since he had misplaced it and yet had to reply to the letter. Writing letters during this war was... impractical, but it was better than not being in contact with his family at all.

Him and his lover, he had no idea how freeing and yet terrifying it is to think of his dear Jonathan as such before, placed their letters on one collective pile, since they had no need to keep their correspondences secret.

Frederick was digging a bit deeper when his eyes caught something. "My dearest Jonathan" in a Handwriting that was not his. Was that correspondence from someone who has deceased but his love hadn't completely let go of? But... it was dated in this year.

Peculiar. Frederick decided to read further.

Your father and I miss you greatly. When we recieved news that you had joined the war effort, I had a hard time believing that my dear Jonathan would do something like that. You have put so much effort into caring for yourself and me, as your to-be wife, to survive until the day our families are finally united for once!

I cannot transfer the love you so surely miss on this new world through this letter, but I can reassure you with this and my other letters that you have a lovely wife and family waiting in your childhood home for your return. Your father and I miss you, you know? I cannot doubt your abilities to return into my waiting arms, unlike your father who is sure that you will run again, "like a coward", he says.

I have trust in you my to-be husband that you will care enough to return to your one and only love.

With endless adoration,

Your Annabelle.

Frederick felt he couldn't breathe. Had his dear boy lied to him this whole time? Was their love real or was Jonathan just playing it as a ruse to replace him with this girl after the fight had ended?

He dug up more letters from this "Annabelle" girl- found the letter he initially was searching for in the process- and read through all of them. In every one of them she wished him well, wished he would return and talked about their future, and apparently second?, wedding arrangements as soon as Jonathan would return from the war back to his home.

Hadn't Jonathan promised to return to his father farm after the war had ceased? Was that also a lie? Frederick began to doubt everything Jonathan has said, up to that first confession that had started all of the turmoil Frederick went through during his time in the enemy camp. Was that a lie too?

But it had felt so sincere.

Frederick knew he couldn't just ignore his new findings. He chose to instead focus on his fathers letter, until Jonathan returned to the tent. It was pleasantly and unpleasantly quiet. Frederick was aware he wouldn't be able to handle noise at that moment, but he needed something to keep his thoughts from racing.

Around sundown, his lovely boy entered the tent, his eyes wandering around the tent until they spied Frederick. His whole body lit up and the blond man had issues to not get up and greet the man with a soft kiss. But those issues dissipated as soon as he recalled those letters...

"Frederick? My dear? Are you fine?" Jonathan asked with concern in his voice and on his face. Frederick started to doubt his conclusions, seeing as how sincere his Jonathan seemed to be. But he needed answers.

"I'm fine, dear. May you answer me a question, though?" He asked carefully, his fingers fidgeting with the letter he had written to his father. He would surely recieve a scolding that he should cease such nervous habits when he was fighting under the crown, he was a respectable man now, after all.

Upon Jonathans agreement Frederick met his lovers brown eyes with his deep blue ones, and then looked away. He couldn't be able to stand to see the guilt on his loves face, the realization that Frederick knew now, when he asked the question that had been slowly picking his mind apart.

"Who is Annabelle?" He asked with a more unsteady tone that he'd like to have had. He sounded to goddamn small, as if this was anyone but the one man he had entrusted everything with, but that man had apparently not seen it necessary to meet Frederick with that same trust.

The anger he had been expecting was beginning to come forth.

Jonathan was silent. Silent for long enough that Frederick knew. He now knew that he was nothing for a plaything for that man who he had given his heart and soul to. Frederick now knew that he would never matter as much to Jonathan as Jonathan mattered to him. Frederick wanted to grow old and die with this man, but Jonathan apparently viewed him only as a distraction from the loneliness since he had been seperated from his oh so lovely to-be wife.

Jonathan was still silent. The growing quiet between the lovers became too much for Frederick. "She's your to-be wife, is she not? She's the one you love, isn't she? Tell me, Jonathan, was anything you said true? Or was everything just a ruse under which you pretended me to be her? Tell me. Are you truly in love with me or just replacing my likeness with hers until you're reunited in her arms again? Was anything we shared real or just a game for you, Jonathan? Tell me!" He blew up on the other man, the anger finally taking root and spreading as he contined to talk.

Jonathan just looked dumbfounded at his lover, before it hit him. "You've read the letters." He stated. Before he could say anything, Frederick started talking again. "Yes, I have read them. I can't believe you would decieve me like that. I love you, and yet- yet you are about to be married as soon as you decide to leave this war! I cannot believe you, I cannot believe I trusted you when you obviously only used me because you were seperated from her!" Frederick got up and started to walk towards the exit.

"I cannot believe I trusted you with my heart." He told the younger man with his face away from said man and towards the tent walls. Jonathan awoke from his mind and reached to grab his lovers wrist. "Frederick-!" "Fassen sie mich nicht an!" The older hissed as he freed his wrist and walked from the tent, exiting before he would have to listen to how the man he loves actually never truly returned the sentiment.

Frederick came back deep into the night and fell down onto the empty cot where their tentmates used to sleep, before the cold claimed their souls. It was unbearable. He felt so alone, despite the man who normally could fix this issue sleeping just a little distance away, but Frederick cannot give in, he cannot pretend like everything was like before, because it wasn't. He now knew that Jonathan had just been playing cruelly with his naive mind and fooled him into loving him. This is something no amount of loneliness can fix.

The following day was also spent in excruciating loneliness. Frederick wanted to do nothing more than to run to Jonathan and apologize, but his hurt outweighed any loneliness he may feel. Jonathan didn't even try to deny the accusations, he just stood there guiltily as Frederick pieced together what he could have never imagined. That was worse than any loneliness he may ever feel.

Jonathan tried to reach Frederick, but the blond man avoided his (once?) lover. That was until Frederick got surprised by strong arms restraining him and pulling him towards their favorite privacy spot, the forest near camp. Frederick fought against it, but he couldn't do nothing against the blacksmiths obviously stronger muscles. Eventually, he surrendered until they stopped at the spot where Jonathan first uttered the confession of love they're so familiar with from one another.

Before Frederick could open his mouth to ask Jonathan why the fuck he dragged him away, a tanned hand was firmly placed on his lips, preventing any objection from escaping.

Naturally, the blond did the only logical thing to do in that situation. He first licked and then bit the hand.

Jonathan sighed, but didn't remove his hand. "Frederick, I want you to listen to me." He told his lovers firmly as he stepped forward. The blond man glared at him, although there was a small note of sadness and longing in his gaze. Neither of them wanted this petty argument to continue for longer than necessary. It was obvious that they needed each other to feel completely and fully at peace. And Jonathan would put an end to Fredericks stubbornness.

Jonathan breathed in and out and then started:

"I used to be engaged to Annabelle. Her and I were, in everyones eyes, the perfect example of a husband and a wife. She was a sweet girl, I am certain we could have been great friends, but I didn't love her. Couldn't love her. I never told this anyone, because I hadn't found it necessary. She is in the past." The brown haired man hesitantly removed the hand from his lovers face. "You can trust me, I have no intention of ever getting involved with her again" he reassured the other man.

Frederick frowned. "But.. why does she still send you letters? When you have no intention of marrying her, you should tell her and not give her false hope." He told his lover hesitantly, still processing the information given to him. Jonathan sighed and went to sit down on a fallen over tree. Frederick followed him.

"This will be quite a long story, but I believe we have the time. Her and I had been engaged years ago, but the night before the wedding, I had this moment of realization that I didn't love her. I did what I saw necessary and, instead of getting ready for a wedding I didn't want, wrote a letter explaining her the situation and apologizing for this sudden change of sentiment, before escaping. I had a connection to my mothers friend, who was ready to take me in and oversee my apprenticeship.

"And yet... a few weeks after my joining the army, they got a hold of me and Ms. Preston started to send me many letters, more than I could subtly burn after everyone else had left. It seems after the years, she still holds the belief that we are meant for each other despite my urging her to find a man that would be able to genuinely love her, like a husband should. I... cannot doubt that my father has his fingers in this misery..." he stopped for a bit to collect his thoughts. Frederick listened intently out of curiosity and shame that he immediately accused Jonathan of not loving him, when he does so clearly, in the way the man looks at him at every time their gazes meet.

Jonathan took Fredericks hand cautiously. He took a deep breath and looked into Fredericks eyes. "My dear, you can be assured that there is no one I would dare to love as much as I love you. You're the only man for me, the only one for me, believe me. I have never lied to you when I have told you how much I love and adore you." He told the man with all the care, desperation and love he could muster.

"I love you more than anything or anyone else on this earth and I want to give you all you may need or want, because you deserve this. You're a wonderful man who has went through so, so much. I want to take this pain from you, even if it's just for a minute. I'm sorry if I ever gave you room for doubt, my love" he continued, his free hand now on his lovers jaw. He leaned forward so that their foreheads touched.

"I'm sorry for doubting you, I truly am. I just.. I was scared of the prospect of losing the one man who has shown me love to-" he got broken off by a sigh "to have played with my heart. I should have listened to you, but instead I just went further into this little hole of doubt and I'm truly sorry for that, dear." The man said with as much desperation in his voice as he could muster as his voice failed him and he just finally met Jonathans eyes. The hope for forgiveness was clear in Fredericks eyes, just as much as the regret and shame he was feeling for his actions.

Jonathan chuckled and stroked his dear boys cheek with his thumb. Frederick leaned into the movement almost by instinct. "I understand, my dear fool." The blacksmith told his lover, who truly was a fool, and squeezed his hand. "I also forgive you, my love" he whispered as he leaned closer. The remaining distance between them was excruciating for Frederick, so he closed it and reunited their lips like so often before, in the place where their involvement, no, their love started.

[ @hamalicious-soup @marsfingershurt @papers-pamphlet @paradox-complex @half-eaten-baguetteee @rae-unbeloved @imobsessedwiththeatre @almaprincess66 @cacaobeans ]

They're both pretty foolish 🥲

A foolish pair

This is also the reason Jonathan started referring to Freddie as "his dear fool"

Augh I love them so much ☹💖

I also tortured the discord chat with some snippets of this

#amrev oc #amrev #redcoat alexander au #:3 #noblefarm #fic writing #fanfic #oneshot #fanfiction

55 notes · View notes