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bro i legit only post on this shit to vent or wen im rlly desprate dam
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bruh
#karkat makes me hella happy bro#but like#im still hella obsessed#n like#i hate it sm bro like#damn#guess it jus b like that ykno#i kinda do b annoyin#but man i did get fucked#like fr got dick in me#n like lokey it traumatized me or smth#but also didnt#but almost cried hella durin it#expectd cuz my bro wuld get drunk n ykno#touch lol wtf#fuck man#im all messd up#still miss that othr guy too but ykno guess i wuz so annoyin i drove him off#ffs it like gen hurts to think abt#fr i#i wish i culd fix it#cuz like ik its him n i fuckd up lol i fuckd up real bad n now a legit part of my only family i trust is jus#gone#he gone oop#Bo oops#imma eat smth now bfor i starv bruh
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i keeps happening
#bro i rlly dont get it#im so tired of dirk strider man like i need to stop talking to any of them#fr even tho i miss em all it duz is hurt tf outta me#evry dirk i talk to fuckn wrongs or leaves me man like i rlly rlly cant do this no more#n the one i miss the most def aint evr finna talk to me again n ik he wuznt my dirk but like he hella reminded me of him#he gave a shit abt me n wuz there n then he wuznt#kept sayn he wuld b there n then jus went off the deep end n i just felt fuckn sad n disappointd#othr dirk made me feel like i wuz assultd n usd but tbh cant say shit there#i was a desperate whore to him so like wut can i say bro like nuthn i deservd it#then like all the othr dirks i talk to now jus make me feel like so good n legit cared for but then they dip n ignore me n shiz n i jus get#so confusd#like wtf did i do wrong pls tell me pls let me make it up to u dont leave again#i cant take bein retraumatizd ovr n ovr n ovr bro its eatn me alive
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god i miss him
#its fucking unbelievable#just how much i miss him#and all his problems#he was like a storm thag nevr fuckn quit#but god i miss him#fuck#he fixd all my problems and i guess its rlly selfish of me to want him back for that#jus bein there and the validation#that i made him smile n show sum emotion nstead of a blank stare#felt so fuckn good#n now hes nevr here#never gunna see him again#i gotta get ovr this man#ik i gotta but im still jus not ready to yet#not yet#jus lemme hold onto him longer#please#sigh#god damn it man#where the fuck are you#your out there somewhere bro ik it#fuck.
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god damn
#i cant tell wut to believe anymore#but i feel kinda happy atm sorta#sleepy rn#but like i have friends that i rlly like atm#n things r chill n we do stuff#and like#i dont feel like im floatin in the background all the time like i feel legit involved#theres still the feelin im bein fuckd with n thrown for a loop#but like im jus not gunna focus on that rn#but i feel happy like content finally#n maybe i can get rid of this fp attachment and jus ykno b able to live my fuckn life#sigh#lmao#i wanna cuddle n sleep rn like#god cuddln up to a dude rn sounds so nice#i mean i have the option too but im not gunna do that like no#i have someone in mind who id fuckn be SO DOWN to cuddle n sleep with rn#god damn#siiiiiigh#bein this stupid sick in the head is always my downfall fuck#this is gunna bite me in the ass but whatev#i love you. btw.. its been a long time#lmao ur nevr gunna read this like i block p much everyone so ull nevr see this but#i love you#</3
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![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/f084baa95a0d40454548289571604855/ec0f35a74e193f0c-92/s540x810/e1d050ea97d2a58f1f5026ea691847496671c803.jpg)
photography as much as u can call it photography
#listn i took this with my phone but#originally i was takin pics with my legit camera#but it wuz so humid outside that it legit fully foggd all the lenses n shit up n i didnt have nothn to clean the bitch with#so i jus said fuck it n took the pics with my phone instead#sucks cuz that sunset wulda lookd so much nicr usin a real camera lense than a shit iphone
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lmao does this count as a vent
#im leadin like multiple double lives here n its hell#mostly cuz im terrified of ppl findin 3 accs where im way too open#this one included#like its hell for me#but ive also kinda made friends#n ive been vibin n its been hella chill#also talkd to my bio dad n hes p chill#calln anyone dad tho is like hella weird cuz like#fuck jus aint usd to it#but shits kinda lookin up#now if only i culd get my motivation to wrk again
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I'm Dirk Strider, source being Homestuck. I'm just lookin' for people to talk to, don't have to be from the same canon. I'm 22, don't contact me if you're a minor. My blog is @soulprince, you can contact me there or like/reblog this post and I'll initiate. Thanks.
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u gotta b pulling my leg here
#at thos point#i feel like im being lied to#that its all an elaborate joke or prank#im close to being done#jus done caring#now that ive got smth else in my life to care abt#im close to bein done caring abt this#and waiting#because i just feel like im being tricked and played with now#and its not cool man#fuck#sigh#fffuck.
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You know what makes me go insane crazy stupid? Is when people portray Dirk and Dave as like these cool guys that have everything under control. Like, no, you dummies. You fell for their facade! You fell for their facade you nincompoop!!! They are just as nerdy if not more than their friends! They are also incredibly stupid!!!!
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im continuing my rant fuck you
#didnt even care and just shoved me away man#i got in a stupid mxrp with a bro and he wanted me#to uh#basically rp me crying while choking on his dick#called me pathetic#and i just stayed and thought ok mayb hell b nice soon#and he didnt#he was not#and i freakd out after which is rlly stupid on my end#i care too much abt ppl who rlly dont deserve it#ugh now i miss dirk#a different dirk#an ex of mine from an ex partner system#hes not even dirk anymore so idk why i call him that#i guess im missing the memory of us together rather than him now?#i mean i could just message their system and ask how he is but then id come off as an asshole#ugh id have to ask how clay is not dirk#i bet he doesnt even care about me anymore though#he probably never thinks about me#i worry about him a lot#he always struggled with trying to be a good person#and last i heard was that he gave up and hes a persecuter now#and i felt#disappointed#but also just worried because#god damn it i miss him man#i wish i could talk to him again#even though he always promised shit he could never keep#that part of my life is over now but i still miss it#and i wish i could just see how hes doing at least but yeah thats never happening so whatever
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im continuing my rant fuck you
#i miss just that moment even though he made me feel like shit#wether he intended to make me feel like that or not#ive met so many damn dirks tbh#most my current friends eithr kin striders or ARE striders and its hell balancing so many... bros and dirks#some daves but not a lot#ugh THAT dirk though#technically an ex but not rlly#i dont count him as an ex#but fuck#ok my ex and i ykno did sexy shit togethr#n im a very uh cuddly dude.. aftercare is a huge deal to me#so we get done and dirk switches in but i didnt realize it for a hot minute#so in my brain me ex just ykno fuckd with me and then turnd away and ignored me#i try to like hug him and he shoves me off and i feel like shit#then the fuckn shades man the shades#i saw em and just flipped out in my brain#got my shit n jus#took a shower#for like an hour#cried my ass off#i felt terrified#because he was just in my room silent as all hell#and then i come back and hide in my closet for a bit n then come out#and we just stare at each other both shades on cuz no way was i not wearing my shades around him#and i just#felt like shit#i have a lot of unresolved trauma issues fuck man#like im all chill with talkn to bros n dirks positively#but the second smth like that happens? i jus flip out#like he just fuckn.. shoved me away
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so im kind of fucked up
#my ex was a system#and there was a dirk in his system#yeah yeah im all about dirk#i hate being all about him at this point#no i dont hate him#i just hate how much i think and talk about him#but thats something else#anyways#we werent the greatest together#me and that dirk#i pushed myself onto him#and he was just an asshole to me#getting at me while not actually talking to me#somtimes hed be sexual with me#there was the time he bit the fuck out of my nevk and bruised me pretty bad#and then hed be extremely distant after that#but theres one time with him at makes my heart ache#as much as i dont like HIM specifically#that moment really makes me miss him#i couldnt be around my ex a lot due to being in different cities so we called often#so one time i got in a call with dirk and i watched stuff thru screen sharing on discord#and he actually watched it with me#usually he would ignore me mess with me or just not talk or be there at all#but he sat there and apologized for some stuff and watched stupid japanese cooking with me#and we talked about it#and he said hed really like to cook with me sometime#and we both dozed off on the call and he said he loved me#which he never ever would say to me ever#and that moment#fuck even though that guy specifically made me feel like shit i just
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giving up on life cuz of this dirk titty drawing
#im so srry dirk stridr#but i gotta draw u with massive pecs for a tattoo#i promise u look sexy asf#all the chicks will want u#it has to be done im so sorry
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