#adoption problem

[norclop]

So, I just had a thought. Back in the day (feeling old and not even 18 yet), there was this show called Jessie. Most of you know of it and if you don't, you're a crappy Disney fan. Either way I was thinking about the kids in the show when I realized that the parents in Jessie are under-called out. I mean, three adopted kids plus Jessie, all from different races, and one biological one? What do you mean they're also rich? How come we're constantly telling Batman about his adoption problem but forgetting about his Disney version? At this point you could tell me they're vigilantes off camera and that Jessie is a version of Alfred and I'd believe it.

[ravenlilyrose]

Bruce is at a gala, okay, and he’s talking to a woman.

Random woman: “And we found out that we’re having another child!”

Bruce: *absolutely cackling inside, because this is about to be the funniest thing he’s done in weeks*

Brucie: “That’s wonderful! Where are they? Can I meet them? How old are they?”

Now Brucie is standing there, scanning the room for children with a huge grin on his face, while all of the random rich people stand around like ‘who’s going to explain to the adorable, well-meaning idiot that most people know they’re going to have children a few months before the children are born.’

And worse, who’s going to have to break the news to him that he can’t meet the kid today?

Because this man… this man has acquired all of his children with zero premeditation. Yes, he does have a bio kid, but that one showed up on his doorstep as a preteen. He did even less acquiring with that one than with the others.

Bruce has a blast acting out his disappointment, and has to turn some so that he can no longer see Tim and Cass leaning against each other and laughing, because otherwise he’s going to start laughing.

[stinkybrowndogs]

I mean I get that’s it’s not the only contributing factor, but I’m curious exactly how much of the shelter dog over-population problem is actually due to poor dog ownership/management vs the housing crisis and economical stress. I’d be willing to bet by investing in social programs that give people the resources they need to care for their pets (cough cough affordable and free housing cough cough) that the amount of pets in shelters would dramatically drop. We can all sit here pointing fingers and screaming at each other until we are blue in the face, but if the owners basic needs are not being met, how can we hold them to a basic standard for their pets?

[purplepixel]

I did the meme. The world is not ready for them

[zealouswitchwerewolf]

Has anyone seen/written any fics where Danny is so used to being an overpowered menace that danger doesn't even register the same for him anymore. Like he's gone against the likes of undergrowth and vortex, he's obviously not going to be intimidated by a middle aged man with sweaty hands pointing a gun at him.

It's all fine until he leaves Amity and starts being put in mildly dangerous situations that don't bother him at all but everyone around him looks super freaked out? And it can range from like being mugged or one of the DC superheroes facing one of their supervillains while all the civilians run away and Danny just keeps going full on ignoring cause not his circus, not his monkeys, but still.

And then he realizes that his reaction is abnormal and people are starting to stare and he doesn't need the extra attention on him but knows he can't act for shit so he just goes for the most deadpan sarcasm he can muster and goes all "oh, nooooo. This is so bad. I am SO scared." And it just makes the stares worse but by then he's committed to the bit and will throw gradually more concerning stuff about his past in conversations with the most dead expression just to see how far he can take it until someone confronts him about it.

[devsgames]

Me: "hey game developers, especially AAA ones, are getting laid off en-mass and it's awful for our industry" Gamer: "well I only play INDIE games and the problem with AAA games is they are creatively bankrupt"

Me, slamming my fists on the table like a baby: "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IS ABOUT A BUSINESS PROBLEM PERPETUATED BY CAPITALISM NOT A STATEMENT ON CREATIVE DECISION MAKING"

[empire-of-the-words]

Headcanon Bruce color-coded his kids... but the colors make No Sense with the Power of Hindsight

Dick is red ❤️ since that was the main color of the Robin suit, and Bruce started doing the color coding when Dick was Robin

Barbara's not technically his kid, but her Batgirl suit was purple so she's purple 💜. Stephanie straight up refused to be anything except purple, so now purple just means Not Technically Adopted

Jason also got a Robin color, but he got yellow 💛 since once he got settled in, he had a very sunny personality. This does not age well.

Bruce doesn’t actually give Tim his own color, since his integration into the family is sloooow. Since Tim is #1 Dick Grayson Fan TM, he always chose the blue cup when grabbing something to drink, so he accidently became blue 💙

Everyone was thinking Cass should be black. But also, Bruce is black. So they shrugged and grabbed the next darkest cup available, which happened to be dark green. The "dark" part ended up getting dropped, though, as it's just easier to get any shade of green 💚

When Damian showed up, Bruce’s mind was still stuck on "Talia’s Kid", so he's bright pink 💖 before he even realizes the color-coding exists

Duke is orange 🧡 because there are literally no other unique colors left

This leads to the baykids yelling at Bruce, "You can’t adopt that kid! There isn't a free color open!". It unironically has a much greater success rate than any other tactic

[mydairpercabeth]

violently sobbing rn

[radiance1]

Danny: So whatcha got there?

Fright Knight: Looks down.

Fright Knight: A pile of photos?

Danny: No. The child. THE CHILD!

Tim: He's my new caretaker.

Fright Knight: Nodding

Danny:

Pariah Dark: Calmly walks into house

Danny:

Billy: Waves

Danny: Father what the fuck-

Pariah Dark: He looked hungry, and without a guardian.

Danny: Holy shit they kidnapped two kids.

[rad-batson]

Broke: Batman has the most complex passwords imaginable because he’s paranoid that a supervillain will infiltrate his tech or the batcave and steal sensitive information.

Woke: Bruce has the most complex passwords imaginable because his kids won’t stop hacking into the bat computer so they can throw themselves into even more danger unsupervised.

Bespoke: Bruce has the most complex passwords imaginable because he’s personal friends with literally half of the rogues gallery, and they keep fucking changing his wallpaper every time they come over for game night.

[bbyteach]

based on this post

[dancepartyaroundthefairyring]

No one in the Justice League expect Batman to be the one that's good with babies/kids, but he is and eventually he becomes the go-to when dealing with kids

Need to wait with a child while the authorities are on the way? Batman

Crying baby found after the battle? Batman

This isn't a problem until Nightwing joins the league, where suddenly the league go to hand off this lost child to Batman and they're dealing with a scowling Nightwing going off about how their all enablers and he, Nightwing, doesn't need more siblings

[shycorvid]

AU where Bruce still goes away to train and becomes Batman, but like at an extremely young age. He ran away and gave Alfred a heart attack, and then came back from training in the LOA, with all the 14 year old teenaged angst he can muster.

One day they go to the circus because Alfred is running out of normal bonding activities that Bruce hasn't gotten them banned from yet. Except Dick’s parents die and Bruce demands they do something about it. So Alfred adopts Dick. Then Bruce brings Jason home. And Tim. And Alfred keeps getting more and more children. The relationship dynamics between them all are different because Bruce is the oldest BROTHER and has no authority over them, so when they want to fight crime too he really has no say in it.

Bruce- (15-17 years old and full of rage) Can’t you stop them, Alfred?! Alfred- Oh, so they can run away to the League of Assassins as you did? Now, go to the Batcave and teach Master Timothy how to throw a proper punch. Bruce- Ugh. This is so unfair.

[phoenix-before-the-flame]

Gajeel- 'You're gonna be my cat!'

Pantherlily, pushing 40 with a mortgage-

[sergle]

You!! Hey you!! Are you looking for a pair of kittens? Do you live In Or Near Oklahoma? Do you wish you could listen to purring all the time? Do you want a cat that looks like an aye-aye?

long story short, we found these two kittens at the bottom of a garbage can!! I don't like to think about how they ended up in there- but we heard them crying while on a walk, and it's very lucky they were so loud! They were scared at first, but now they NEED to be snuggled at all times. Crazy how adaptable kittens are. I'd prefer to rehome them as a pair, but I'd consider adopting them out individually if that's my only option! Please IM me if you're interested in both/either of these babies, or if you have any questions at all!!

[zealouswitchwerewolf]

DP AU where the box ghost is actually someone from the future that came back as a ghost to try and warn Danny before all the major battles. The problem is that ghosts are mostly ruled by emotions and since he isn't directly connected to all the battles as they happened, his memories get fuzzy at best so whenever he warns Danny, it's either because there's about to be a world ending event or because someone's cat got stuck on a tree (and anything in between)

So when Danny joins the JL as Phantom they ask him about his rogue gallery. He tells them all about the ancients he fought and skulker and the GIW, even his parents, though he only says they were mad scientists with a huge bias.

And then, after he tells them about the "plasmius incident" they ask whether he thinks Vlad is the one that's caused him most trouble and Danny goes quiet for a bit and looks thoughtful for way too long before saying in a quiet voice "no, that's actually the box ghost. He's always warning me about something. It's terrifying"

The JL are concerned. What could be worse than all the Eldritch terrors Danny has described? They try to ask for details but whenever they bring the topic, Danny gets this lost stare and goes silent until they change the topic or snap him out of it. It's kind of unsettling. So they leave it be. Even Batman doesn't push it (he would rather not traumatize the kid more, thank you very much, he's also wondering if he can adopt someone that's technically dead, asking for a friend).

And then the box ghost shows up at the watchtower. They all come running when they hear the ominous "Beware". Batman activates all the alerts. Boxy just throws a box at him, then leaves. Batman calls for a meeting, most of the heroes were already in the watchtower anyway, he describes the incident to phantom.

Danny: ah, that was just his way of saying hi. I guess he wants to start haunting you too. Should be fun :)

Batman: hn

The JL: ?!?

Danny: Don't worry, I'll ask him to be nicer next time :)

Flash: was that... Supposed to be terrifying? He just threw a box, right?

Danny: 🤷🏻‍♀️