#adhd ramble

[blueberrythefrog]

The boop function is a ADHD trap, help I have nonstop been booping my partner, and she's been doing the same thing ;v; TUMBLR WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

[circusislife]

i have a bit of a personal question so feel free to ignore this ask

can i ask how you figured out you had adhd?(did i spell it right?) and do you have any tricks to making yourself get up and do whatever you got to do?

Wepl, get ready for a rant, because hyperfixations (past and present) are a surefire way to be blab for half an hour.

So, I don't remember 100% /how/ I got diagnosed, It was when I was about six and a half.

Mostly, my mother was Just this side of being an helicopter parent, and she noticed the signs pretty soon. There were many signals, I started to speak later than my sister did, then had problems with pronouncing letters like "r" "s" and "t" despite completely understanding the difference between the words they were used in, used to put my feet wrong which would cause me pain, had bad posture (which would also cause me pain), was extremely energetic in comparison to other kids, would zoon out in the middle of something and become almost completely detached from reality for minutes at a time, would start multiple somethings and leave them incomplete (way more than Is normal for the average kid), when I read out loud, if I misread a Word once, then rereading the exact same passage and helping I'd realize the mistake was a lost cause, my hand to eye coordination was in the negatives, I would bump into things, drop things and stuff like that. Also many more things that don't come ti mind right now.

Because of that I've been misdiagnosed/suspected of having autism (that one also because I have Always liked math, and I think the teachers were a bit too much into the cliché), epilepsy (theory busted with a three day long electroencephalogram), dyslexia, dyslalia and I think I'm forgetting something but want to finish this before tomorrow.

Long story short, each and every single one of those symptoms was because of adhd.

Wrong footing and posture? Distracted.

Same mistake at reading repeatedly? Distracted.

zooning out in maybe low key seizures? Hella distracted.

Couldn't stay still if I tried, no matter classes events or social expectations? Hyperactivity.

Mum noticed It all.

She asked doctors and brought me to visits (I remember a ton of them as a kid, probably why I've always been comfortable in hospitals).

At 6.5 years I had a first diagnosis, but was struggling like Hell at school and barely scraping by (yes in my freaking First year of school I spent more time studying than hanging out with friends with little results).

Lucky me, we live in range of the leading institute and one of the only three in Italy. So when a pediatric psychologist suggested a check up there It wasn't too problematic.

Did some tests. One of the ways to officially determinate if someone had adhd Is doing an IQ test. There are 4 areas analyzed. In regular people the scores are more or less even, but if you have adhd there should be a considerable difference between two areas and the other two. I scored pretty High (I Just Remember It being fun but whatever), but the difference was there. and here's the diagnosis. Also started taking the prescription (and suddenly I could actually follow the lessons without Major headhache) (that still came studying at home, but was better).

Ok, Just realized this went from rambling to oversharing, so back to the point.

As for the ways to trick executive dysfunction?

Mostly stuff I came up by mixing advice and adapting them to my personality.

Like, I find It extremely satisfying to start something at an even hour (like, I don't know, start to study at exactly 14:30?)

Also having someone in the room with me helps (mostly do this with my sister) (not the best in my opinion because I think that's just a way of using anxiety and fear of judgement, but It Is a way to use It go your advantage and if It works It works).

Also, having a set environment/routine for a set task Is good. Your brain Will associate the two and One Will eventually automatically follow the other. (Stuff like, sofa=relax desk=work no exceptions allowed, or cook-eat-clean as a single unit)

Also, starting a task from the easiest part of the One you like the most Is of help. Just like allowing yourself a short break before the task itself with something you reeeeeally enjoy (a fav song, or One of those heaven sent 15 minutes really well written chapters) (those are honestly perfection for a pre-start break, something short and enjoyable with a predetermined and firm stopping point).

Doing so will stimulates the brain to produce dopamine, the neurotransmitter whose underproduction Is the cause of adhd if I remember correctly (tell me if I'm wrong, I'm going on almost 14 years old Memories for some of this stuff). This way you Will have something ti pull you through the hardest part that Is getting started.

When I have to study when tired I have found that working with music Is sometimes an excellent way to trick my brain into believing I have stopped and blessedly chill out with the headhaches. (Other times I become downright murderous if I so much as hear someone breath, but when It works, It works)

You've probably already Heard about setting alarms and using a timer to help keep the tasks contained, or using a planner to make a schedule, but that would imply One actually remembers to use either, sooo... that One really depends on the person.

Ok, now that I've basically written an essay on the phone and probably set to give someone an aneurysm, I bid you goodnight, I'll add the tags tomorrow, now it's sleepy time!

Bye<3

[the-messy-artist]

Has this been done yet

[friendlycursedspaceotter]

Pro tip for my disabled and chronically ill friends in college: if you have to put a work order in and it is related any bit at all to your disability, write, very clearly in the "describe what needs to get done" section, "This issue is a health hazard," followed by a description of how the issue relates to your disability/chronic illness.

They are required to put it as a high-priority issue and fix it ASAP. Required BY LAW. Yes, I said it. They are legally required to fix these things, both under OSHA regulations and the ADA.

Play the disability card. I'm begging you. DISABLED IS NOT A BAD WORD. But don't abuse it. This is a fine line here.

Example: I'm heat and noise sensitive. My HVAC unit started breaking down and rattling loudly. That would be an example of a health hazard. A broken light could be a health hazard to someone with vision issues. I can only speak for myself here. But y'all have the right to speak up and advocate to yourself.

Neurodivergent people, this applies to you too. You're one of us (one of us! one of us! one of us!). Don't let the exclusionists gatekeep this information from you.

[honestlydarkprincess]

feeling violent (i’m overstimulated)

[letsventstuff]

This feeling of nothingness is gnawing at my bones again.

[wade-fucking-wilson]

Hyperfixating not in a quirky way, but in more of an “I’m hyperfixated on old man yaoi and even thinking about them makes me wanna slam my head into a wall” way

[alienfangs-mov]

I can't wait for the memes that come from this movie

The guy…. (I HAVENT GOTTEN TO SEE IT YET, NO SPOILERS)

[lazylittledragon]

lately i've been drinking orange juice and eating fruit and going outside in the sun and coincidentally 10-20% of my depression has vanished. must be witchcraft

[opikiquu]

my life a movie (PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR)

[800db-cloud]

i’ve been wanting to do this since day one

[pxper-cranes]

Every child of Hades gotta have:

a milf mother figure that aint their real mum

a mean goth gf

a moody emo bf

a baddie mentor from the Trojan War

and a neurodiversity

[andiv3r]

Instead of being a normal person I get to feel like I'm going to throw up whenever someone politely corrects a misunderstanding I've had.

[mikajunie]

rediscovering shame and giving yourself compassion (how to deal with shame as someone with ADHD)

this is directed towards my fellow ADHDers who have trouble with reoccuring shame while leads to hindered productivity.

signs that your productivity is hindered by shame (compiled by my own experiences):

you feel negative physical symptoms when you think about your responsibilities

you find ways to avoid the responsibilities

every time you make progress, you feel like you don't ever wanna touch it again

when you present your progress, you feel ashamed of yourself because it's not finished (on time & according to ur standards).

you feel like you are a constant failure. you never win, despite achieving good things here and there.

you are a walking ball of anxiety

you have a fear of being perceived

there's probably more, but eh those are just from my own experiences

below i will write down what y'all should remember, what you can do to help yourself, etc. this is compiled from dr k, my own journaling time, and my firsthand experience from having shame 24/7

some things u gotta remember

shame is what exists in the gap between your ideal self and where you are currently.

your ideal self doesn't have to be unrealistic, it can be yourself when you were at your peak or someone who is very similar to you.

shame brings negative thoughts, because it makes you see progress as a negative thing.

instead of being happy that u made progress, u grumble to urself and ask "why didnt i just do it sooner? im so stupid". it's a reminder of your failures, so u avoid progress altogether.

shame can become a part of you, to the point where you feel uneasy or vulnerable if you dont feel ashamed at yourself

shame doesn't do anything to ADHDers in the long run except self-loathing and hindered productivity.

what should u do?

basically self-therapy, but instead of stopping at why, i try to solve my shame one-by-one.

examine past moments where you felt a LOT of shame. this can go back to elementary. the stronger the emotions, the better. now, write them down. you're probably cringing, but that is good. feel all the cringiness running through ur veins.

why did you feel shame? why did it happen? what did you feel?

reframe your thoughts. instead of immediately running away from it, accept it and justify it. give it compassion. give it a hug. was it your 7 year old self? hug yourself. it's okay to fuck up and do silly things sometimes, and it's okay to have ADHD. it's not our fault.

remember that ADHD is a lifelong nerudivergency, you can't just push it away. coping mechanisms and tools help, but give yourself some grace when you screw up. it's our first time living anyway.

calm your body down. make sure your physical body is doing okay.

now... think of one thing you want to do but can't because of shame and do these steps carefully. think of the reasons why you might be ashamed, and reframe your thoughts.

WARNING!! TAKE IT ONE PRESENT ACTION AT A TIME. don't do this for every action you want to take, let your body slowly learn that it's okay to make progress despite the shame you feel, and you are allowed to feel compassion for yourself.

train your body to accept compassion slowly. life is tough with ADHD but it's even tougher knowing that shame will get in your way. give yourself a break, it's fine to fuck up, we all go through different things anyway. even if it's not fine, you will learn and make those mistakes a lil bit lesser in the future.

ok hope this helps.

[incognito-liger]

I’ve just about had it with people who don’t think outside of themselves and the social norms they inhabit. Not everyone can physically train themselves out of stiff joints and muscle pain. Not everybody can work. Not everybody can just try harder. I’m already giving my 100% every day what more do you want? If you ever wake up feeling rested be thankful. If you can exist without noise-cancelling headphones be thankful. Everything I do needs to be functional and efficient or my life goes to shit. I can’t waste energy on things that are not absolutely necessary. My brain hates doing those things. There’s too many things. I want to try harder. I want to be thankful of things. I want to try harder.

[thebibliosphere]

Hm. I'm rereading something I wrote, and I can't decide if it's going to be infuriating for some readers, or if there will be more going "OH, same!"

Given that my readership is largely in the Autistic 🤝ADHD vampire fan club (Vlad), I'm hoping it'll be the latter, but it's still making me hesitate because it's not how people expect sex scenes to read.

Everything's usually boiled down to a laser-focused precision of sensations and evocative, heated language -- and that does eventually happen with this. You just have to get past Vlad's brain wandering around for a bit because while Nathan's doing a good job of getting his attention in the moment, he's not being consistent, and it's giving Vlad's brain time to wander. Like noticing that Nathan squints a bit when he reads. ("(Hyperopia, Vlad’s brain supplied helpfully before he could smother it.)") Or just generally having full-on conversations in his head in the downtimes between stimulation -- and by downtime, I mean the split second it takes for Nathan to grab something from the nightstand.

Another part of me worries people will think I'm playing to stereotypes or I'm hamming it up to be "quirky," but given my brain is the epitome of the "hyper 8-year-old boy who can't sit still shiny disorder" despite being a 36yo cis woman, I've pretty much resigned myself to some people calling Vlad a stereotype anyway.

A larger part of me just... kind of really wants to see this kind of thing in a sex scene. I want to see my own thought patterns and acknowledge that even when you're getting hot and heavy with someone -- arguably an act that should consume all of your attention -- you'll still find your mind wandering. You'll notice something out the corner of your eye and go, "fucking shit, laundry, do not forget, do not forget" (and then you'll forget), or you'll be about to go down on someone, and the dick joke your friend told you three months ago will pop into your head and suddenly you're snickering with no tactful way to explain it.

(This is another thing that I always think is sorely lacking in sex scenes. No one's messy. No one's laughing like an idiot because they just thumped their head into the headboard, or a joke just popped into their head. Or someone's body made a fart sound because there's lube in places and things are thrusting. Like, maybe it's me, maybe I'm weird, but I think those are the moments you can build real romance out of. Not necessarily erotica, because those things (supposedly) aren't sexy, but there's so much emotion you can show with partners who are able to laugh with each other in those moments. You can show so much love and reverence through the mundane it hurts.)

It'd just be nice, for once, to have the character be absolved of the guilt that often happens in those moments because you're supposed to be focusing on what is happening, and your idiot brain just won't shut up.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter too much. It's a short story I'm hoping to fling out at some point (as soon as my idiot brain shuts up and lets me finish it). But it feels more important than it actually is because it feels like I'm exposing a major part of my psyche. Like pinning down all the ugly parts of my brain that can't ever actually be pinned down, no matter how much I try.

idk. Words. Things. Stuff. I'm going to try and finish this and then see what I want to do with it.