#actually pray for me plz

[rewritingcanon]

Magic Hour by tuesday _piracy

Rating: T

Pairing: Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Potter

Summary: Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy live very different lives from one another, but when time and fate gets intertwined and tangled, they find themselves magically swapping bodies and on a journey to meet each other for the first time. Meanwhile, a star approaches.

Tags: Soulmate AU, Body Swapping, Your Name AU, Not Canon-Compliant, Light Fluff, Light Humour, Light Angst etc

(Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10)

Chapter 11:

“Scorp (I’m NOT calling you that),

I woke up feeling heavier than usual, and now I know the reason why. You’ve plumped me up. Though I know you love Sundays at Hogwarts, I feel a little relieved that the switches on this day occur so rarely. You’ll have me as pot-bellied as my grandad if it were your choice. You do realise normal people can’t be so effortlessly slim and swan-like as you”

Chapter 12: “Scorpius looked down at Albus’ rough, larger hands, and wondered if they were his father’s too. He slowly traced the inked phoenix on the side of his hand, the shooting star on his finger. The tiny scorpion on the lifeline of his wrist. He looked at that a little longer, wondering if Albus was drawing a matching one on his skin right now.

“Stop touching yourself,” Lily snapped at him. Scorpius flinched to her, his face warming. She nodded to the entrance of Hogsmeade. “We’re here.”’

[cubbyhole-for-flea-bee]

(Not) an approved use of the Power Of Friendship

[frstk]

Instead of giving raises or allowing vacations, Vincent decides to personally treat his employees on new year's eve.

The other cooks: (Why is that guy getting the biggest loaf…😒duh)

& Vince getting stomachache from skipping meals, so the food duo broke into his apartment to the rescue🤗

[embryoed]

How I feel with That Shot of Demetri with That Dialogue over it in the Season 6 Part One Trailer

[starsandwriting]

ANOTHER TMAGP DAY I FORGOT WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME

[sapphicdbc]

Any Jemma Redgrave fans willing to have a lodger for the night? 🥺😂🙏

Why is London so expensive!? To be fair I'm coming from Dublin... BUT STILL!

Both of my moods rn.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

*making big shiny cute eyes* pwease pwofessow wiww u be my capstone advisow uwu

Professor: heck u no. ur too Little Babie. talk to me when ur a grad student. u worm.

[Plain text:

*making big shiny cute eyes* Please Professor will you be my capstone advisor uwu.

Professor: Heck you, no. You’re too little baby. Talk to me when you’re a grad student. You worm.]

[spreadyourwings-my-smiling-angel]

After a total of 3 years at uni, I just completed my first ever proper assignment. The only ones in the past that I actually completed and handed in were ones that were like essay plans and the like. I feel so powerful rn and have more confidence that I can keep this momentum going. I really hope I get a good grade on it so I actually know what I’m capable of

[bakubonez]

Sunday x GN! Reader || fluff

Summary: After a stressful couple days, Sunday asked you to wash his hair. 🦭

A/N: I’m falling for the Sunday propaganda plz save me

It had taken ages to get Sunday to trust you. Albeit many gifts and hours spent together later, your hard work had paid off. Sunday had lowered his carefully constructed walls, allowing you to weasel your way into finding a place in his heart. Nowadays, he can’t fathom why he used to push you away—you were far too sweet to discard.

He’d come to trust you enough to let you wash his hair, and groom his wings. More often than not, he’d do it himself—taking time to sit in front of the mirror to smooth down his soft, pillowy feathers or stand under the shower in silence as the water ran through his hair, down his back. Now, though, he didn’t have to do it completely alone. He quite enjoyed it when you helped him, actually.

At first, he hadn’t been completely sold on the idea. It was a lot of trust that he had to place in you, to let you look after him for a bit.

He’d have to surrender himself to you and lower his guard, and that felt mildly off putting at a stage. Despite his initial hesitance, the first time you actually rinsed his hair and tended to his wings, he knew he was hooked.

The gentle nature of your touch was something he’d always found himself appreciating, and he hoped and prayed that he could offer you the same feeling, but now that he knew what it was like to be pampered by the very same hands that brought him so much comfort in his day to day life, he couldn’t get enough of it.

Sunday was much too sheepish to outright ask you to bathe with him, especially not often, so the activity has been reserved for special occasions, by his own doing.

Tonight was one of those occasions.

Being the man that Sunday was, he had a lot on his plate, all the time. There were very few moments in which he could take refuge from his work and truly rest. Even in his free time, his mind was often plagued by anxieties about his upcoming tasks.

Recently, though, he’d been under extra strain especially. And so, logically, he’d come to you for comfort.

You raked your fingers across his scalp, hands lathered in some pleasant smelling shampoo that Sunday had chosen. His eyes were shut, sitting peacefully in the water of the bath. Steam clouded the mirrors, and left little beads of water dripping down the walls.

It was mostly silent, aside from a soft melody playing in the background that Sunday had put on before getting into the tub.

Once, you’d been hesitant to touch Sunday’s wings. You weren’t sure if they’d be too sensitive, or if he’d tell you off for it, perhaps—now, though, you touched them with little uncertainty.

So long as you were gentle, like you were being now, you could touch them all you wanted.

His feathers were so soft, almost unbelievably so. They twitch and shift under your grasp, but not for a bad reason; more so that it was mildly ticklish, despite how much you’d touched them in the past already.

You hear Sunday exhale quietly as you rub behind his ears, and along the topside of his wings. His faith in you always brings a smile to your face, leaving a warm, comforting feeling in your heart.

“Thank you,” he says quietly.

Thank you for what, you’re tempted to ask, but you get the sense that you already know what for—you. You, being with him. You, taking the time to care for him. You, having the patience to stick by him, even when it gets difficult.

You simply murmur a soft ‘mhm’ in response, pressing a kiss to his shoulder before resuming your motions. You needn’t say more.

[livlaughloveluke]

plz plz plz part 2 to the loser luke

- 🍒

loser!luke x best friend reader 🫡

(part one)

18+ mdni

warning!- afab reader, porn what plot, no actual p in v, just a blurb, oral (f receiving), best friend to lovers, inexperienced luke although not really that much of a loser (sorry)

“wait, you want me to fuck you?” you asked in a hushed whisper, cocking your head to the side with a look of utter confusion. the bonfire raged on in the background, every other counselor too drunk on cheap vodka to notice how you two had drifted away from the crowd. the subtle taste of cherry lip balm and malibu lingered in your mouth as you anxiously chewed on your bottom lip, awaiting a response.

“please! just think of it as helping a friend out,” he pleaded with such desperation that it made you weak in the knees. the annoying sounds of cicadas chirping and teenagers hollering made your headache even worse, confusion and alcohol fogging up every logical thought. how in the world had luke “lightsaber” castellan (a generous nickname given by the aphrodite cabin after he mistakenly wore sweatpants out) never experienced good sex? you heard firsthand how the girls talked about him, and saw how their eyes peered for a smidge too long during training when he was dripping with sweat and out of breath.

“first off, where would we even…” the rest of the words got caught in your throat, adding onto the tension was practically suffocating you. were you really considering hooking up with your best friend of five years?

“there’s plenty of empty cabins. hera’s, maybe?” luke eagerly suggested, eyes widening with hope as his brain buzzed.

“her cabin is practically a temple! are you crazy?”

“everyone does it. it’s hot,” he reasoned, and you let out a sharp exhale of the sticky air. it was such an inexplicably bad idea, with your friendship and potentially your life at risk. but gods, he looked so attractive with the moonlight shining on his features, practically on his knees begging you to have sex with him.

“you swear this isn’t just the drinks talking?” you interrogated as your heart rate unwillingly increased to concerning speeds.

“pinky swear. i need you,” he entreated, the ending morphing into a breathy groan of despair. you looked up to meet his lustful gaze, watching his adam’s apple bob up and down while he swallowed impatiently.

instead of responding, you grasped his hand and nearly jogged to the hera cabin, the gravel from the road kicking up with every step. you barged into the wood building, silently praying no one had the same idea as you, at least not tonight. the door slammed shut and you threw yourself onto luke, teeth clashing feverishly and spit swapping as you cusped his face. his hands snuck down to the fat of your ass, kneading and grabbing your skin through the thick fabric of your jeans.

“take my clothes off,” you instructed, pulling apart while breathless and greedily wanting more. all he could muster up was a quick nod before kissing you again, his veiny hand feeling around and unbuttoning your pants. tugging on the loops, you wiggled out of the denim and kicked them across the hardwood floor.

like two dancers, you stepped back in sync until you ran into the post of an unused bunk bed. he broke away from your swollen lips, carefully lying you down on the squeaky mattress that bounced as you made contact. luke loomed over your body, eyes darting around frantically as his face flushed pink from embarrassment, a nice contrast to his naturally tan skin. it didn’t take a genius to figure out he had no clue what to do next, so you made sure to swoop in quickly.

“you need to prep me first. like, eat me out or something. do you know how?” you asked, trying to sound calm but failing miserably as you gasped for oxygen. the sickening heat radiating from his body mixed with the summer air and the sexual tension created a distastefully hot atmosphere, beads of sweat adhering to your skin.

luke shook his head shamefully, the whole bizarre situation finally registering in his mind. you, his dream girl, was lying underneath him without any pants, and he didn’t know what the fuck to do.

“s’okay, that’s what i’m here for,” you sent a reassuring smile, hopefully letting him know that he shouldn’t stress. “start by taking my underwear off.”

he followed along slowly, tracing the lace edges and running his fingers over the small, perky bow in the front before pulling them down completely. you slid your shirt off while he waited in awe, his dick growing painfully harder with every second.

“now you just sorta, lick it, i guess,” you tried to explain, unsure of how to word going down on someone. he cautiously kissed up your thighs, his plump lips sending jolts of pleasure and anticipation through your body. landing on your wet heat, he nervously licked a stripe through your glossy folds, his warm breath a good contrast to the cool air circulating from an overhead fan.

looking up from your pussy, he watched as you let out a shaky breath of pleasure and gave him a small nod to continue. he ran his tongue over your folds again, this time brushing over your clit momentarily and coating it in spit. a hungry whine slipped out of your lips as you shifted to support your upper body using your elbows.

luke began to suck the edges, using suction to gnaw at the warm flesh. moving around, he started to rapidly flick his tongue over your most delicate parts. soft moans escaped your throat, installing some confidence within him. he grew sloppy and messier, now full blown making out with your cunt as your juices coated his lips. you groaned in response, the volume of your whimpers increasing with every movement. praises spewed from your lips mindlessly like a water fountain, encouraging him to keep going.

growing curious and more cocky, he slowly stuck his tongue in your soaking hole, causing you to gasp and moan with an unexpected pleasure. his nose brushed against your clit as he curled and flexed his tongue muscles, and that familiar knot in you stomach began to form. you urged him to keep going as your back arched and you tugged his damp curls.

“luke, i swear to the gods— mphm!— ‘m so close, please, please, please—“

the final straw was when he shook his head back and forth, knowing how you would react when his nose rubbed against your core. instinctively, your thighs closed around his head and your grip tightened in his hair as you reached your climax. waves of pleasure racked your whole body, your toes curling and legs shaking. after a few seconds, you realized that you were practically suffocating luke and apologized profusely while loosening your grip. he pulled apart slowly, dribbles of your cum seeping down his chin.

“what’s next?”

[channelinglament]

When you hadn't logged in for a few days

Ft. Diasomnia (💀)

Summary: Basically you hadn't logged in twst for a while now (could be 2 days or more) for whatever reason. But sadly you didn't know, that your game is sentient.

Tw: yandere, bad grammar, death, murder, religious themes.

🐀 (it's me, the anon-) @writingforatwistedworld

Lilia

Plz forgive this world that is full of sinners-

Fr prays and slays (people)

Alright, let's begin on how it happened:

Lilia was as always waiting for your return. He made himself look presentable, and stayed nearby ramshackle to greet you when you log in (aka when you get weekly stuff like gems and etc)

You didn't come back that day, sadly.

So what does our dear fae do?

Pray. A lot.

He is afraid that he or someone has somehow wronged you.

We're you busy?

Were they not praying hard enough?

Did he need to kill someone-?

And like that, he tried to sleep.

The same was on second day.

But when the third day (afternoon actually) comes, oh he is going insane.

This world is so full of sin! It is filled with sinners to the brim isn't it? That's why you aren't coming back, he's sure of it!

So, the massacre started. You can't tell me otherwise. He prays that you come back, while he slays those, he deems sinners.

If it's for you, he's ready to starts/wage a war again.

Malleus

Congrats, it's the end of the world!

Trust me, if you logged in right at that moment, you would have the longest log in in your history.

Unlike Lilia, he immediately panicked. While you weren't around, the weather was terrible.

A few people probably died because of the thunder

He prays, and prays hard.

On the second day he tries to use his magic to see what you're doing (your camera)

If you're playing another game then he immediately destroys(burns) the world.

If you're busy, tries to wait.

If talking to someone, the first option happens aswell

On third day it's the end of the world. Literally.

Unless you decide to log in, at that exact moment, say bye-bye to everyone alive except a few faes and maybe people.

Silver

Understands that you may be busy.

But still prays nonetheless. (He was raised by Lilia, a cute lunatic after all)

Honestly is afraid that someone might've hurt you. What if you're in danger and he doesn't know about it??

He's supposed to be your knight in shining armor, protect you with his life. What if you're in danger rn and he cannot do anything about it???! (Not like could've helped even if you were, he's in game. But he could've told Malleus or Lilia, then you'd be in game sooner than expected)

Similarily to Lilia, starts massacring people calling them sinners.

But I feel like it's at the end of 2nd day? Stealthily btw

He was sleeping, then heard noises. People were talking about you and how they thought you abandoned them.

He was angry and uhh

Made ketchup for Lilia to cook.

Even if you did abandon them, it's not your fault! But he's sure you didn't, they probably just needed to get rid of sinners that have wronged you and made you upset!

Sebek

Screams

Shocked

Prays

And then

Starts giving you offerings.

Since the day 1

He definitely needs to try harder! Everyone needs!

The reason you're not here is because they're not praying hard enough! They're not offering you what you would like! Of course you won't come back if they won't!

Literally kills everyone left and right.

And offers them to you.

Negative two out of ten, would not recommend.

Fr, he doesn't think that it could be 'cuz you're busy. Probably you're offended that they haven't devoted themselves to you completely.

He wishes that everyone would be like them, on valley of thorns. But sadly, some see you as an equal or just an all knowing entity. Or even worse, but he doesn't talk about Shaftlands. At least some nations are good.

But he still thinks they're wrong in thinking you can have flaws too.

It's their fault for you leaving them!

[ymoon01]

It doesn't even matter at this point, or bother me anymore if someone tries to make me feel bad, feel like I'm crazy or even ashamed for believing in my Lord Jesus. I know him, and he knows me. He has proved to me A LOT of times that he's real. That he cares for me, that he loves me, he loves me even more than anyone has ever loved me before. He accepts me for who I truly am, and I'm thankful for that. All this time he has treated me like a princess, he has kept me away from evil several times. Now that i have faith in him, that i'm trying to change for someone better, i can actually hear him. He's so lovely, he's so gentle, caring, patient, and the way he talks to me is just...adorable. How can't I not fall for him when he's so gentle and patience with me? No one has ever made me feel like this before. No simple words like "Dear, my beloved one, my precious daughter, I'm so proud of you, you're beautiful in my eyes, i'm deeply in love with everything about you, you're so pure to me, I accept you for who you are, you're my child, I chose you, i'm always thinking of you, I've been calling you for a while now and i'm letting you that I was waiting for you to return home, talk to me I'll listen, I'm always here for you, i'm never going to leave your side, i care for you..." PLZ. Because of his sweet words, confirmations, I'm not settling for less. I'm not afraid anymore to say that I'm falling for him as well. I really pray to him to get me closer to him every second, minute, every hour. So please, just know that..whatever you say against me for adoring him and seeking him means nothing to me anymore. I'm not changing my thoughts, my mind, or anything. I'm not going to stop believing in him and his word. I ain't pleasing nobody but him. So, I suggest you to not waste your time with me. You can laugh all you want, he also told me that some people would laugh at me for following him, i have accepted this because i don't want to leave his side or presence ever again and..in the meantime i'll be praying for everyone who doubts of his existence and power. You can always go with him and repent♥︎ he has a place for everyone in his kingdom.

May the Lord Jesus Christ bless you all♥︎

[johnwickb1tsch]

bittersweet ~ a yandere!John Wick x fem!reader sunshine/grump coffee shop AU... Part 26 all chapters

WARNING: NSFW, SEXUAL CONTENT, YANDERE SH!T. Plz take care. I luv u all. 😘

-The next day, he does not even try to ply you with the promise of release. He is not cruel, but he simply takes what he wants from your increasingly sore body, offering nothing in return. You almost prefer this, at this point, except he is absolutely running you ragged. You’d thought you could wear him out with your advantage of youth, but this man is fucking insatiable.

By the next day, you can’t stop yourself from begging, when he wakes you with insistent kisses on your neck and sweet nothings delivered with a growl in your ear. “John…I can’t,” you whine. “Please, I need a break.”

He dismisses this with a disbelieving snort, thinking you are crying wolf, no doubt. But when he flips you to fuck you from behind, something he’s grown increasingly fond of over the past few days, because he likes the shape of your ass, the tight angle—or that he doesn’t have to look into your accusing expression—you find yourself crying into the pillow.

It hurts.

You are bruised to the point where you cannot sit comfortably, and even with the impossible buckets of slick your body has somehow produced in his presence, he has rubbed you raw.  

And he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care.

This is the litany that runs through your mind, and it breaks your heart more than anything else he’s done to you so far. That he is so far gone in his madness that you hardly recognize him…

This is the thing that breaks you, and certainly not in the way he intended.

You start to cry even harder into the pillow, the wound in your heart far more devastating to you than anything physical. You feel it in your chest like you did take a blade or a bullet, an agonizing ache that makes you wish for numbness more than anything that has transpired. This is worse than the kidnapping, worse than him dangling you on the edge of pleasure for days on end.

This is the thing that will sap your will to live, and you can almost see the spiraling dark maw of the abyss that looms before you.

This is also the only thing for days that has given him the slightest pause. He drapes himself over you to gather you in his arms.

“Are you crying, baby girl?”  

“Yes,” you sniff.

You’ve pretty much taken everything he’s thrown at you until now with a lifted chin and a do your worst. Tears of despair actually seem to throw him.

“Why?”

“Because you’re hurting me, and you don’t care.” You know you sound as despondent as you feel. “The man I fell for protected me, he killed for me, but I never thought he would hurt me. Who even are you?” A new wave of anguish makes you sob into the pillow. It is not pretty crying, sweet glittering tears sliding down your cheeks. This is ugly crying, the expulsion of pain from the darkest depths of your soul, and once it starts you cannot stop.

He goes still as a statue behind you, ceasing even to breathe, the only motion the throb of his rock-hard cock still buried inside you. You do not know if you have displeased him, and he’s dreaming up some new punishment—or if just this once, he actually hears you.

You’re not exactly a religious person, but you find yourself praying to whatever laughing god that might take mercy on you, that he finally hears you.

He stays like this for what feels like an eternity, but can’t be more than a minute at most.

You are shocked, when carefully he slides out you, rolling to pull you against his chest, his big hand protectively cradling the side of your head, holding you hard enough to squeeze the breath from you. You realize, to your astonishment, he is shaking too, and he lets out a long, slow breath, pressing his lips to your hair.

This would have inspired excitement in you, if you weren’t so goddammed exhausted. Wrung out, body and soul. As it is, it takes all your control not to break down and weep again. He doesn’t say he’s sorry outright, but he holds you like he is. At this point, you’ll take what you can get amidst this madness you’re trapped in.

He kisses you again with a promise of, “I’ll be back,” and disappears into the bathroom. You hear the taps of the bathtub running. This too, you have learned to dread. But you cannot fight him, when he returns to scoop you up in his arms, and lowers the two of you together in the rising warm water.   

You wait for the usual shenanigans—but they do not come. He just…holds you, and you only keep yourself together by a thread. With a tremulous sigh of relief you dare to settle further into his arms, savoring this closeness without the threat of sex in the air.

“I’m sorry,” he says against the top of your head. “You just…you make me crazy.”

It’s perhaps the closest thing to the truth he’s said since you’ve gotten here.

“I’ll give you a rest,” he promises, and if you hadn’t been sitting you might have fallen over with surprise.

“Thank you,” you say, relieved to the tips of your toes, kissing him sweetly. It’s a gentle press of lips that curls your toes, and a strangled little sound escapes from somewhere deep in his chest.

You pretend not to see it, but there is a glitter of a tear in the corner of his eye too.

After a little while he kisses your cheek, saying again, “I’ll be back.”

You watch him exit the tub and cinch a towel around his narrow waist. Despite everything, you admit that you have yet to tire of the view. Water beading on that man’s skin is a thing to inspire the songs of angels.

Or demons, perhaps, but either way it is divine to behold.

You wait, but he doesn’t return.

You linger in the water until it begins to cool, wondering what he’s up to.

It is telling of what a cautious creature you’ve become, for the way you are reluctant to move from the place he left you. But your fingers are turning to prunes, so you get out of the bath, drying yourself off and slathering yourself with the wonderful smelling lotion he’d gifted you, that cost a whole day’s pay from your time at the coffee shop.

It is hard not to gauge the cost of things against hours of your life, when you work in service. What are your hours worth now? You realize you don’t even know what day it is.

For the first time in a while you take a moment to actually look at yourself in the mirror. Your body is riddled with constellations of love bites in various states of healing, bruises in every shade of the rainbow. John Wick has marked you in just about every way a man can, yet still, you hold out.

Perhaps it is you who is delusional about this situation.  

When you exit the bathroom you freeze in your tracks, hardly believing your eyes. The door—THE DOOR!—is hanging wide open, almost in invitation.

Rather than excitement, your first reaction is a thrill of fear running down your spine, as you wonder if it is a sick test.

But in the end, you cannot resist.

Wary of appearances, you throw on one of your numerous new silky nighties and a blue robe that is impossibly soft upon your skin. What mad woman would attempt to make an escape dressed like this? You hope the odds are in your favor. 

On soft feet you pad to the top of the stairs, peeking over the landing. The smell of fresh brewed coffee wafts up towards you, and the sound of something frying in the kitchen. Cautiously you descend, making your way towards the promise of culinary delights.

For the second time in ten minutes, the sight before you makes you freeze in your tracks.  

John is busy cooking in the kitchen, wearing a black kimono-style robe that gapes over his bare chest. He is very intently reading a recipe, whipping something in a bowl, and watching a sizzling hot pan.

You stand there, still as a statue, drinking in the sight until Dog blows your cover, trotting over to greet you with a wagging tail. You get down on your knees to hug him and scratch his ears. You have not seen him since your first escape attempt, and though you strangely hadn’t really doubted John would keep his word, you are relieved to receive proof of life.

“How does French toast sound?” John asks, as though today is a normal day in a string of normal days, and you live and eat together like two normal people who cohabitate.

“It sounds lovely,” you admit, cautiously perching on one of the barstools. “Can I help?”

“No, sweetheart, let me take care of you.” You wonder if this is more to keep you away from the potential weapon of a heavy, hot pan full of bacon and grease, but you are fine to sit and watch him.

You notice the knife block is completely emptied of blades.

When you are seated together in the breakfast nook, your legs tangled under the little table, dining off melamine plates with plastic utensils but enjoying a very good meal none the less, John throws you for yet another curveball.

“I’m sorry, that I’ve been so…insatiable,” he says. He could have knocked you off your stool with a feather. “I…” He shakes his head, clenching his fist on the table, the tendons in his forearm popping. “I just want you, so much.”

Your lip quivers at hearing that, and the truth spills from your lips before you can even think to hold it in. “I want to be wanted by you, John! It’s all I’ve wanted, since…the first moment I saw you.” If you’re being honest. “But all this…?” You wave your hands in an encompassing manner, unsure how else to express what he’s put you through.

It’s a lot, would be the understatement of the year. You’re not able to get it out though, because there’s a stone lodged in your throat, and suddenly you’re not sure if you want to cry or throw up.

Seeing you’re distressed again, he opens his arms to you. “C’mere.” It’s like walking into the claws of the dragon, you know, but you shuffle over to fall into his lap anyway. How insane is it, that this man is the flame that burns you, and the only balm that soothes you? He holds you tight against his chest, rocking you gently. You manage not to cry again, but you can’t stop shaking for a long time.

Only once you settle down does he speak again. “You are tough, you know that? I didn’t realize I was hurting you.”

You blink, unsure for a good minute what the fuck to say to that. The truth is that it is unfathomable, what savagery women can endure, when they have to. You’re not sure you want to say that aloud to him.

It might come off as a challenge.

You are hardly winning any trophies for fastest comeback, when finally you quip into his collarbone, “You forgot you’re dealing with a junior blackbelt. We are trained in the ways…”

He looks down at you for a long second, as though he’s not sure if you’re joking or not. And then it is like the sun breaking from the clouds when he smiles, a genuine, toothy flash of mirth that mercilessly squeezes your heart in your chest. He looks almost boyish in that moment, and it is beautiful to behold.

“So I forgot,” he admits, kissing your forehead. 

“I guess you’re like…50th dan or some shit?” you ask, referring to his own belt ranking.

He chuckles at that, though there is a note of melancholy beneath it. “We don’t count dan where I trained, sweetheart. Just bodies on the ground.”

“That’s a lovely thought over breakfast…”

He snorts. “You remind me of me, you know, when I was younger,” he tells you quietly.

“How so?” you ask, thinking you’re not that tough.

“Too stubborn for my own good.” He smiles again, softer this time, but no less heartbreaking. He is not making fun of you. It is almost like he’s…commiserating with you, and it’s weird as hell. “I’ll give you a week to heal. Alright?”

You didn’t expect him to give you an hour, much less a week. “Okay…”

“Ok, what?” he prompts with a smirk, that breathtaking twinkle in his eye that makes you want to throttle him and kiss him all at once.

You can hardly refrain from rolling your eyes. “Thank you, Mr. Wick.”

He sighs at hearing it, like a sated lion.

You wonder if he’ll keep his word.

[sunlitlemonade]

YOU WATCH F1 TOO?!?!?!?!???????!?? RAHHHHHHHHH🏎🏎🏎🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 can we plz get thoughts on drivers 👀🥺🙏🫣🫣🫣🫦

anon i know you sent this sometime around suzuka but that last emoji made me laugh every time i tried answering this. as for the drivers......... sigh. I'm swinging a very bedazzled bat at a swarming hornets' nest. pray for me.

under the cut because i yapped a LOT. also. uh. possible slander. so like.

Red Bull Racing

Max Verstappen: starting off strong here with my favourite guy of all time. He's Inevitable™. He's fast. He's amazing. He's sweet and blunt and gorgeous and I want everything good for him. He's phenomenal, he moves me, he makes it's so easy to root for him and yet, it's incredibly taxing to be a fan given the British bias in F1 journalism and the fandom, not to mention FIA occasionally losing it's goddamn mind.

Sergio 'Checo' Perez: I'm actually so fond of him. His recent performances leave more to desired, I know, but fuck if he isn't the funniest mf around. Also it's simply a matter of time when he gets back in form [the bias is STRONG here I'm aware]. Also he's an extremely good second driver because I for one think he knows how to handle a team built around his teammate. I don't think any other driver on the current grid would have gelled with Max and Red Bull's structure [and strategy to win] the way Checo has.

Ferrari

Charles Leclerc: Il Predestinato. Saint Leclerc. Curse bearer and curse breaker. He's made to be a dream. He can make the hopeless hope. I know I said Max is generational talent but we're quite lucky to be in this era where we have not one, but TWO generational talents because Charles..... this guy..... you have to be blind to not see the sheer talent and insanity this man holds. Ferrari get your shit together istg. I need a Verstappen - Leclerc WDC fight. IT WILL BE GLORIOUS.

Carlos Sainz: *cough* ok, so, I wanna start off by saying I do think he's a chill guy off-track, ok? I really do think that. He's funny, quick, hot [ofc]. As a driver though. I just. He's good --not as good as F1 media wanted you to believe after his win in Australia and the circumstances surrounding it [WDC material??? Any GP winner now is considered WDC material??? ok]-- but he whines A LOT and I would actually prefer if his aggressiveness on track is directed less at his own teammate and more on their opposition? That would be cool. Plus sometimes he forgets it's not 'yippee we are all friends haha' all the time and inevitably fires up when someone serves cunt on track and he's bearing the brunt of it. I call it the Mclaren syndrome if anyone is interested.

Mclaren

enough said [ignore the shit quality i grabbed the first template i could find sjskdjfke]

Mercedes

George Russell: HES SUCH A HILARIOUS DIVA!!!! WHO DOESNT LOVE THIS GUY?? He's so entertaining and fun and he is a very good driver! I feel like we still have yet to see all he can achieve and I am very excited to see what happens next.

Lewis Hamilton: Legend. I truly have nothing else to add. Forget his fanbase, forget his tunnel vision when it comes to winning [and this applies to almost every driver, most of all my favourite ones lol], he's seven time world champion for a reason. Since we're asking for my opinions here though, I'll tell you this: anytime he wins I'm happy enough to see it [though I will forever want to see my favs on P1], any time he doesn't I don't care much, if he has a bad race I will give it less notice- basically, he exists in the periphery of my vision. I have been in awe of him for years and admire him but I cannot call myself a fan. One thing I can't help but obsess over is how cunty and unapologetic he is [which is also something that I love about Max].

Alpine

Esteban Ocon: He's a good driver, he's grinded hard to be here in F1 and I love to see it. Also, he's geek! In my books, that's always a plus.

Pierre Gasly: He's actually one of the most unremarkable drivers on the grid currently. Like there's nothing wrong with him and every time he pops up in interviews or whatever he's fun to see but that's about it? Honestly he seems like a cool guy, a driver okay enough but doesn't stand out much to me in anyway skdjhsjd

Sauber

Valtteri Bottas: THE MOST UNDERRATED DRIVER EVER MAYBE????? I love this dude and I'm hoping he can get something better than the tractor he has this season, as unlikely as it is.

Zhou Guanyu: Again, he's a nice enough driver and I really enjoy his vibe but he's crawling on the track in the tractor Sauber cooked up and I don't really know what to think of him beyond what I have stated.

Aston Martin

Fernando Alonso: Anyone who has a problem with Mr. Alonso has a problem with me. This is a strict Alonso Stan account, I do not take criticism and idc what anyone else has to say about him. He's a legend, he's an icon, he's the spirit of F1. I'm quite literally obsessed with him. You know what. Max is the Only One for me BUT if Fernando happened to win a 3rd title........... Did you know that Adrian Newey was recently acquired by Aston Martin [MAKE IT HAPPEN NEWEY].

Lance Stroll: idc. truly idc. some hate this guy, some love him. im at the camp of idgaf. just complete indifference.

Haas

Kevin Magnussen: If you've noticed anything by now, it's that I love love love track terrors. Not the stupid bitches who divebomb everyone all the time and start barking when it happens to them. Nah, the ones who race. I fucking love them. I love Kevin. Hoping against hope that he gets a seat somewhere next year, I will miss him so much. He's incredible to watch. God. I will actually miss him so much. Fuck.

Nico Hulkenberg: Another underrated driver, he's actually quite skillful and entertaining to watch. I just wish he had better luck like 😭

VCARB

Daniel Ricciardo: I miss him. His performances had waned and yeah, it had been time for him to go but I will still miss him and idk man I will admit I wasn't his biggest fan a while back, which had hurt because at some point, years back, he was the main reason why I watched the sport at all. But he had slowly wormed himself back in my heart and fuck. His last race actually made my chest clench ngl. He was absolutely amazing.

Liam Lawson: Consider me sat. I'm SO curious to see how he performs. We know he's got potential but just how far can he stretch?

Yuki Tsunoda: How many times have I used the word 'love' already? I'm sorry but what else can I say? I genuinely love this fella. He's so good and exciting to watch on track and also, plain funny. I wish for everything good to happen to him.

Williams

Alex Albon: infatuated with his billion dollar smile. Now that that's out of the way let me also just say HES SUNLIGHT INCARNATE, also I COULD LISTEN TO HIM YAP FOREVER. Idk I'm actually really happy for him because he seems to be flourishing at Williams and I mean this in the best way possible: he shines at a midfield team. [Also, note me saying he's sunshine doesn't negate just how fucking sly & sassy he can be. I adore that about him.]

Franco Colapinto: MY BELOVED. I perk up like a sunflower under the sun when I see him. He's such an intriguing driver. I detect hints of track terrorism abilities brewing here and cannot wait to see more of it. Also! He's so refreshing to listen to. I know like 80 percent of the grid is no-nonsense and transparent but man idk how to say this. He's a fucking comedian. Not a thought that has any sort of filter at all in that pretty little head of his. Just. No PR training at all here.

Logan Sargent: This boy. He did not deserve even a smidgen of what he had to tolerate. I actually detest the collective treatment from the fandom and his own fucking team that he had to constantly weather. I hope whatever racing division he advances to, he fucking demolishes. I hope he has so much fun winning. I miss him and his reserved smiles.

Special mention:

Oliver Bearman: I mean he raced twice this season, I can't skip over him just like that. Anyways, he's a BABY [< girl who's half a year older than him sjedhbwje] and I WANT HIM TO DO GOOD. He's done relatively well till now in the limited time on track [in F1] we've seen him, we'll have to wait and watch how he does next year. This F2 season for him has been... eh but like I get why.

[subarashiihibi]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEAUTIFUL ANGEL WIFE IZAYA ORIHARA!!!!!!! 🥰😘👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨😭😎🔥🫶🩷

i can't quite put into words what exactly izaya has meant to me over the past 8 years. one, it sounds really corny and i go off into at least 30 different tangents about all the little things that make him so endearing to me, but also i just dont really know how to sound eloquent and stuff. that being said, a lot of the person i am today is (for better or for worse) thanks to izaya, so i think if i leave it at that you can at least get it a little bit. ^_^

i was really excited to set this year's display up. i changed the room i used this time, since i got a new desk, and it was...kind of a challenge at first, but after moving around a bunch of furniture and whatnot, i made it work...!

i had to forego putting up a few other things... namely the rest of my bromides and postcards, but also all my shikishi. i need to invest in some way to display them... i also had two(!!) dakimakura... i had to leave out this year. </3 and the cardboard cutout i made when i was 16. 😭

as usual, i have a lot of stuff to say about this entire thing and the stuff around it, so i... will leave my rambling under the cut. (^□^)

my god putting this thing together was hell. i said 'challenge' earlier no this shit was like a fucking war omfg. the clear files kept falling i was miserable and praying to god (im not even religious). and then i had to tape behind the big izaya balloon poster cause it's covering my doorway and it kept getting pulled back to the door...? and it looked stupid. 🤦‍♂️ i wasn't originally gonna put the tables in here either. i really wanted to be able to fit the bed sheets on the walls. but i couldn't... and i needed more room to put the pillows and stuff, so it ended up working out perfectly.

(the only reason i didn't want to use tables was cause i didn't want something covering up izaya's sexy exposed feet in the china poster... 😟)

i was (finally) gonna get a cake this year, but after having the stress of two exams back to back this week and exams next week, i...was too exhausted lol. hopefully next year i won't have an awful overnight job or school making me miserable. (as if i'm not still gonna be a student next year☠)

the amount of durarara merch that's come out the past few years has left me feeling so spoiled... i hope they do a mail order for the 20th anni merch... i want all the izaya stuff without the crazy markups from resellers online🤬

also plz don't judge my toploader deco skills too much... i am not very experienced... and i also don't have a lot of stickers to work with... 🥺

at any rate... at this exact time last year, i was suffering inside the confines of my local walmart... i was working overnight, and my break was at 12am, so as soon as it hit, i ran out to my car to excitedly celebrate the date changing to may 4th...!

and then during my lunch break, i drove to the whataburger next door and did another 10-pull on the izaya birthday kuji while in the drivethru.

i didn't realize this until i started taking stuff down in my room (this is my bedroom... i can't realistically keep two large tables in here and a poster covering my doorway. i had to crawl under the table just to get in and out. my knees still hurt.), but... i actually forgot something i wanted to include... my izaya lightstick... 💔💔💔 it's okay. i will live. i'm happy with my setup as a whole so i have no qualms with this. i just need to make sure i don't make the same mistake next year.

on a (slightly) unrelated note, yesterday (may 3) was the 19th birthday of my favorite album ever from my favorite band ever, fall out boy's from under the cork tree! i was so happy when i found out it's right before izaya's birthday cause fall out boy as a whole has so many izaya coded lyrics it's crazy. (btw, their debut album tttyg came out on the 6th as well...!)

and then tomorrow is cinco de mayo... it's not a coincidence... latina izaya truthers rise up...

anyways...! i'm finally learning how to draw properly. the reason i was always so miserable when i tried before was cause i never knew what i was doing. i didn't know where to start from. because...i didn't use references...so hopefully i can draw something cute for izaya's birthday next year. ^_^

that's all i have to say...! i woke up early this (yesterday) morning at 9am so i could be there at 10am when midnight hit in japan, and it's already 3am on the 4th, so i'm exhausted lol...

i was so excited seeing all the izaya bday fanart on twitter though. all the beautiful artists making beautiful art...

but i've spoken too much now. sorry. i'm going to spend the rest of my night listening to fall out boy before i eventually pass out. bye bye !!!! ^_^

[sapphicideas]

hiii I love girls however I only ever get unwanted attention from men. I try flirting (like actual flirting not ‘ur pretty’) but they always just think I’m just being nice bc I apparently give off “straight vibes” (kill me plz (my closest friends said that)). wtf do I do to fix this !!!

literally start praying or something. i unfortunately look awfully straight too and i always get hit on by men, especially at work. the best tip i can give you is to look at girls like you wanna fuck them (even if you don't) and be painfully obvious about being a lesbian.

idk if you're a top/bottom/switch but me acting like a top gives off massive lesbian vibes too for some reason, so that's mainly what i do. good luck if you're a bottom...