#actually now i have to start crying sorry have a good evening

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Last, Last Time (alternate ending)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her pronouns)

WC: ~8.2k

TW: Angst, guns, violence, mentions of domestic violence, blood, swearing, depression, kidnapping, manipulation, self-deprecating thoughts, heartbreak, arguing, the grieving process, drinking, screaming, crying, being under pressure, and anything else that comes with a criminal minds episode.

a/n: based on S15 E6 - first date. I love u aubrey plaza <3. Also inspired by the song Last, Last Time by Boys Go To Jupiter.

hey guys! some people had asked me about a happy ending version of this, and I've never really written an alternate ending before, I was struggling with whether I wanted this to be good angst or not, so having been swayed....here is the alternate ending!

Original Spencer Masterlist

“Spencer I won’t—I can’t keep doing this. I’m sick of arguing in circles.” 

“Y/n…”

“I-I feel like you take me for fucking granted Spencer. All I do is work and then come home and wait for you to actually be able to, I don’t know, sleep in the same bed as me for more than four hours.”

The look in his eyes almost took you out but your heart had already been broken long, long before this argument. If anything, you were starting to feel this sense of freedom as you broke his heart. 

“Please. Y/n. Just–I don’t—Just give me a few days to convince Hotch to let me have some time off and we can work on this please.” 

“Wait for the potential of us?” 

Spencer’s jaw loosened. You couldn’t read beyond the initial layer of pain and confusion, which made your chest ache since not too long ago you could have been able to find everything you needed in his expression.

“God Spencer this can’t be fucking news to you. We’ve been drifting apart for months now.” 

“I know, I know. You have been so patient with me and I’ve just been….there was that whole thing with Cat and then….I-I was trying so hard y/n…”

“No, first there was that whole thing with Maeve.”

“That’s not fair—”

“Oh that’s not fair? Really? You’re going to tell me the entire Maeve thing isn’t fair to you?”

“I’m sorry.”

You sighed and closed your eyes. “I’m not saying you weren’t trying but come one Spencer. There’s no need to deny this shit anymore. I hate it when you lie to me about these kinds of things.” 

Spencer’s hand came up to his face and it dragged down, aging him significantly with the fatigue written all over his face. 

“So you’re just going to pack up everything, break my heart, and leave? Were you even going to say goodbye, or was I going to come home to an empty home and no note…” 

“I-I don’t know Spencer. I just don’t…” 

The tears were starting to creep in, and you had to place the box down before you lost it.

“This isn’t easy for me either…” Your chest heaved. 

The both of you stood in silence, tension simmering surrounding the both of you like heat on a summer’s eve. Neither of you could really look at one another, but it felt wrong to look at anything else. Something was missing but you couldn’t say it outloud. You knew you would always love Spencer Reid but this time it was not enough. 

“I’m tired of arguing Spencer.” 

Your eyes met his. You felt Spencer’s arms around you before you could even feel the tears hit your cheeks. Your arms immediately went to his neck, so familiar. No longer home. 

Spencer’s voice muttered into your ear. “Don’t cry Jolie. It’ll be okay..” 

About three years ago, Spencer had decided that he didn’t like that you had nicknames for him, and he had none for you. He spent weeks workshopping different ones : Sugar, Honey, Pumpkin, Sweetheart, Darlin, Pookie, Lover, Sunny (like sunshine), Sunshine—it was a wild week trying to figure out who he was talking to. Then one day, offhandedly, he was trying to tell you about this french film he had been watching, and trying to get Emily to watch with him. 

He called you ‘tres jolie’, and blushing you had asked him what it meant. He told you it meant pretty. 

And it stuck. 

Now? It stung. 

All you could do was squeeze tightly onto him, not ready to let go.

“You’re so pretty when you’re lying through your teeth.” You whispered after a few moments, pulling away out of his arms. 

“I.” You swallow and step back, out of his reach. “Maybe I’ll.” 

Spencer just looked up at the ceiling, trying to hold in the tears that were streaming down his face. 

You grabbed the last box on the counter and your keys, and walked out, for the last time. 

You awoke in your bed, eyes adjusting to the complete darkness the blackout curtains provided you. 

Another fucking night thinking about your decision those four years ago, and trying to decided whether your life had gotten better because of it.

You still weren’t sure.  

Moving to get up from the bed, you decided to leave the curtains closed for now, feeling as if you could melt from the sun touching you. 

You turned on the bathroom light and started your morning routine. Wash face. Take meds. Brush teeth. Fix hair—

Somewhere in that process, you got lost, and just stared at yourself in the mirror. You weren’t sure for how long. All you could do was replay the last four years. 

Did you make the right choice?

Something was missing. It was missing from the spot on the couch. It was missing in the mug cabinet. It was missing in the kitchen while you played music and moved around by yourself. 

But you were happy. You have been able to throw yourself into your job, and open your own firm. You had your dream career, with some of the most amazing friends you could have asked for. 

None of which you would have met if you stayed with him. 

Maybe it was true what they say, you can only have a career or love, but not both.

The only thing taking you out of this spiral was the ringer on your phone going off. 

This caused some hesitation because your phone’s ringer was always off––the loud noise startling you. There were only a few people who had that emergency bypass, and none of them had called you in four years. 

You peaked out of the bathroom and saw the name light up on your phone. 

Emily Prentiss

__________________________________________________________________________

The door to the round room opened up and in walked Spencer Reid. “Catch me up.” 

Prentiss clicked the remote, and the TV lit up with a picture of a woman smirking facing the camera while holding a gun up to another one next to her. “Early this morning, Garcia got an email from an anonymous server.”

The second woman was tied up, mouth slightly open, and eyes filled with tears, while a man on the other side just had his eyes closed, tired. . 

Spencer just stared at the photo. 

Rossi nodded at the picture. “She's not obscuring her face, telling us she's got nothing to hide.”

He never pulled focus away from the screen, mouth dry at the thought of what today was about to be.“Any ideas on the unsub?”

“No.” Prentiss sighed. “Only the unsub's demand. That we release Catherine Adams in 24 hours.  I'm having her transferred here for questioning, but we have no illusions. This is just a game to her. We know that. The question is, do we want to play it or not?”

______________________________________________________________________________

Receiving a call from the FBI was not entirely new to you, since you had been engaged to one of their agents, but receiving one now? Something was deeply wrong from them to have to send you a call. 

You hesitantly pick up the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey Y/n, it’s Emily Prentiss—“

“I know who you are, Emily. It’s been a couple years, not millions.” 

Emily hummed a brief laughter, and you could hear other voices behind her, unable to make out anything. 

“I know this is hard to ask of you, but would you stay on the phone with me and come in?” 

“What?” 

“I need you to stay very calm Y/n, but I need you to stay on the line with me, leave your apartment as soon as you can, and drive to the BAU.” 

“Uh, yeah Em. I’m so sorry, I, uh, I completely forgot about our plans today. Let me get ready, and I’ll be there as soon as I can. Are we still meeting at your place or did you have a different location in the city?” 

“We’ll be at Quantico.” 

Your entire tone changed, having remembered what Spencer had told you all those years ago about if people were listening into your apartment, if they bugged your car—all paranoia that didn’t pay off then, might be paying off now. 

You were sure you could hear Emily sigh, and it sounded a little upset at the fact that you knew what to do–you knew how to handle a dangerous situation, which made her question everything in her life. 

Quickly you pulled on a pair of jeans and threw a sweatshirt over your pajama top and grabbed your keys off of the counter. 

Today was already stressful enough, what was the point of adding a bra. 

You left your apartment, waved to one of your neighbors, and hopped into your car, still on the line, just trying not to panic. Maybe something went wrong, maybe Spencer wasn’t okay, maybe he had died—you refused to even acknowledge that thought and decided it was something else entirely. 

It was a very tense hour of driving, that was only about forty since you knew how to drive above the speed limit. 

You realized that it was past midday, and you had taken full advantage of the weekend. So at least you had a decent amount of sleep under your belt for what felt like the beginning of an extraneous night. 

As you pulled into the parking garage, Emily Prentiss and someone you had never met before were standing there waiting for you. You placed your car in park, hopped out and walked up to them–only hanging up as soon as you were out of the car. 

Both of them have such grim looks on their faces, but at least they were trying to pretend like the situation wasn’t as bad as it appeared.

Emily engulfed you in a hug. “Missed you Y/n. It’s been too long.” 

“Well Em, next time I break up with someone I’ll consider your feelings first.” You squeezed her back, dryly laughing at your own joke. At least it caused Emily to snort. 

“Y/n this is SSA Luke Alvez. Luke, this is Y/n Y/l/n.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” He gave a small smile and nodded at you.

“I wish it were under different circumstances.” You looked over at Emily.

“Let’s head inside?” 

You nodded and the three of you moved inside. 

Sure, you hadn’t been here in a while, but you knew your way to the BAU Bullpen if your life depended on it, which was ironic since that was what this kinda felt like. 

As soon as you were safely in their round table room, Luke shut the door, and stood by it, Emily coming and sitting down next to you. 

“What do you know about Cat Adams?” 

That bitch. 

______________________________________________________________________________

“I would like to go on a date. With you.” 

Spencer stared at her, face stoic as ever. “A date?”

“Yes. I want to look pretty. And I want to have fun.” She looked him up and down. “And I won't even get physical, ok? Unless you want me to.”

Spencer sat down across from her. “Come here. Closer.”

Cat leaned in, a small smile on her face, absolutely intoxicated by being so close to him.

“The only date that I'll be there for is the one where they stick a needle in your vein.”

Cat scoffed. “You're just going to let her father and sister die? I don't think so.”

“I never said it was a father and daughter. You're already slipping.” He stood up from the table. “We'll find them. We always do.”

Cat leaned back and crossed her arms. “Not tonight. Tonight I win.”

His resolution had yet to change, “The score between me and you is two to zero. By tomorrow morning, it'll be a clean sweep. Enjoy eternal nothingness. It's a metaphor for your life.” 

And with that, the door slammed shut behind him.

______________________________________________________________________________

Both the profilers watched a series of emotions run rampant across your face, before you settled on a somewhat displeased smile. “A lot.” 

They exchanged a look, and you didn’t have the energy to pretend like you didn’t know what it was. 

“Don’t start with me today Emily. I know what you’re doing. Ask me the questions you want to ask. Don’t try to trick me into giving the answers you want. Don’t profile me.” 

Part of being engaged to a profiler meant you picked up on some of their own quirks. Which meant you saw Alvez bite his tongue and try to hide his smile. And you noticed that Emily, on the other hand, hid her smile a bit better but it was still there.

She nodded and pulled a file from across the table. “I’m assuming you know the basics since she, uh, is obsessed with Spencer.”

“Glad to see he still has that going for him.” You muttered and looked into the file. 

Emily shot Luke a look when he let out a huff or air, trying his damndest not to laugh. 

“What is the last thing you know about her?” 

You recounted the days leading up to the restaurant, and then the few days after, decidedly stopping short of the engagement breaking off a week later. 

They shared another look, and you didn’t enjoy whatever it was that had moved across their faces. 

“What happened?” 

“Y/n..”

“No Emily, I drove all the way from DC to Quantico on the phone, I deserve to know what happened.” 

Emily then begins to explain to you the past four years of Reid’s life. Cat pretending she was pregnant with his kid in prison, kidnapping his mother, framing him for murder in Mexico, going to prison—

“Spencer went to prison and none of you thought to call me….”

“We didn’t think you’d–” 

“I’m a fucking criminal defense attorney in DC Emily. Of course I’d want to know if he was arrested, especially internationally. I know that law better than all of you. If someone I knew was kidnapped, I’d call you immediately. Faster than the cops.” 

Both of them went silent. 

“So is he out?” 

They nodded slowly, silently. 

“How long was he in there?”

Nothing. 

“I asked. How. Long.”

Luke spoke up. “Three months.” 

“Jesus christ.” You stood up and started to pace around the room, taking the time you needed to calm down. 

Why didn’t Spencer call you?

Well you knew why Spencer wouldn’t call you. 

“Okay so he’s out.” You said finally. “Why am I here—He didn’t start….did he?” 

Emily shook her head. “He’s actually been really good about it.” She said softly, trying to calm you down. 

You started fidgeting with your rign finger; a habit you have picked up many years ago, and have yet to lose, even if the ring wasn’t there anymore. 

“Cat’s execution is coming up.” Emily started, trying to get you back on track. “And we….we found out that she’s convinced one of her former cellmates to kidnap...people…close to Reid, and we knew you’d be on that list for him.” 

“She already ruined that relationship years ago, she won that one. Why would she bring me back into it?” You sat down and looked down at the file on the table. You had never really seen a photo of her before, doing your best to avoid all of the media surrounding her arrest. 

She was very pretty, that much was certain. 

Just as you went to say something else, JJ knocked on the door, another blonde woman behind her. 

They entered and JJ gave you a small, yet genuine smile. 

You returned it, but quickly shifted your gaze onto the woman behind. 

Your whole body shifted slightly, into a place of defense, locking your emotions down. You knew all the profilers were watching it happen in real time, which is why Emily very casually put a hand on your knee under the table. 

“Would someone like to tell me what is going on here?” 

Your head turned as you looked over to Emilt, bewildered by this woman and her, well, bewilderment. 

JJ walked over and sat down on the other side of you. “Uh, Max, this is Unit Cheif Emily Prentiss and SSA Luke Alvez.” She pursed her lips before looking over at you. “And this is another one of the victims affected by Cat Adams, Y/n Y/l/n.” 

Max had crossed her arms and nodded. “Victims?” 

You quickly onced her over, a slightly unimpressed look crossing your features. “People close to Spencer get fucked over a lot.” This came out with a sigh attached to it. 

Max almost scoffed, but you watched as she nodded. “And how do you know Spencer?” 

Your eyes met with Emily’s really quickly. 

Emily looked over at Max. “She’s…”

“I’m Spencer’s ex-fiancé.”

It felt better to let this poor girl know, but somehow saying the words out loud left the most rotten taste in your mouth. 

Watching Max’s defenses go up in real time was a little sobering.

At least Spencer’s taste in partners with attitude hadn’t changed. 

______________________________________________________________________________

“Victimology is off.”

“How so?” Prentiss looked up at him as he walked into the room. 

“Father and daughter. She’s never done that before.” 

Lewis spoke up. “She usually kills men that remind her of her father. Children–even adult children, are off limits. Do we have an ID yet.” 

Prentiss, Rossi, Garcia, and JJ all looked over at Reid, and he just pulled a hand down his face. “It’s…It’s Issac and Noelle Y/l/n.” 

“Y/l/n…as is Y/n Y/l/n.” Tara looked up surprised at Spencer. 

Reid nodded slowly, just staring at the picture on the projector.

While Luke spoke up. “Who is Y/n Y/l/n.” 

“An old friend.” Rossi quickly interjected, before any more explanation had to be said. It was clear both Alvez and Simmons, that whoever this was, was an extremely touchy subject for Reid. 

Tara, who had only known you for a little while, looked back at the picture. 

Rossie spoke up. “What do we know about the partner who’s helping her?” 

“It’s got to be someone from her prison.” Simmons spoke up. “She hasn’t had contact with anyone else?” 

______________________________________________________________________________

After all of that, you found yourself back in a place you swore you left for the last time. It looked almost the same as when you had first moved out, but there was less of it. 

Almost as if he was having trouble covering places where things used to be.

There were almost no photos on the walls, since you were half of them, and had taken the rest. 

Calling someone you once loved a stranger feels wrong. 

Max was just sitting on the couch in your spot. She was looking around as you and Rossi stood by the kitchen counter. 

She had, understandably, decided she was not your biggest fan.

“Cat had a cellmate named Juliette Weaver. We believe the two were working together, as a way for Cat to get something against Spencer, and as payment, Cat would hurt Juliette’s ex.”

You nodded. “How does this affect me?” 

“She took your father and sister.” 

Your back straightened and immediately brought out your phone, to call your sister, but Rossi just placed a hand on your phone and shook his head. “If she finds out you know, then it’s all over. She’s doing this on purpose. She knows about you and Reid, but she knows that dragging you into all of this will hurt him more than anything else.” 

His voice had gone low and quiet, so that the girl on the couch couldn’t hear. JJ, who was on the couch, talking to Max, looked like she was trying to block out whatever conversation was happening in the kitchen. 

“So why is she here?” You whispered back. 

“Because we don’t want anyone in danger, and it’s better for us if we have eyes on both of you” 

You closed your eyes and nodded. “I need a cup of tea.” 

Rossi nodded, and placed your phone on the counter, and you walked into the kitchen,eyes closed from the stress of the situation. 

The apartment went silent, watching as you grabbed a kettle, and started to make tea. It was like second nature to you as you turned the stovetop on, grabbed a mug from the cabinet (careful to not grab one of his favorites), and grabbed some tea from the cabinet. 

It didn’t dawn on you that you were drinking your favorite type of tea until the second sip, while the entire apartment was still silent. 

The pity from JJ and Rossi was palpable. 

The disbelief from Max was a boulder on you back, like Atlas transferring the world to your shoulders. 

“Don’t even start.” You muttered, moving to sit down back next to Rossi on the kitchen stools. 

He shrugged and stayed silent. 

That is, until JJ’s walkie went off and she looked at Max. “It’s time. Let’s go.” 

Rossi looked over at you and gave you a quick hug, squeezing you tightly. “You’ve got this kid. Remember everything we talked about.” 

You nodded and gave both agents a strained smile as they left the apartment, taking Max with them, leaving you all alone in this place you once called home.

Never once, since you left, did you think you would ever be back here. You didn’t even realize you were drinking from one of your own mugs until it was just you. The irony of it was not lost on you, and you sat down in your spot on the couch. 

Well first you sat in Spencer’s seat but it felt too weird, so you shifted back into your spot on the couch. 

______________________________________________________________________________

“Juliette staked out in Reid’s life. Found out he was dating someone, but then must have discovered his ex-fiancée.” Simmons sighed. “He was probably so focused on Max, he didn’t even realize that someone was digging into his history, following them around.”

Prentiss nodded as they walked and talked. “But if Juliette was able to find Max, that meant she was easily able to find Y/n and her family. Plus, Y/n is not that hard to find—she’s a prominent public attorney in DC. That means Juliette must’ve had access to all of her publicly available information. “

“Well at least we found their hidden agenda.” 

“No. We found Cat’s hidden agenda. Juliette doesn’t care about Reid. There’s something we’re missing here. Do a deep dive with Garcia.” 

Simmons nodded at Prentis. “On it.” 

“I’ll go to Reid's apartment and monitor onsite. Is there a trap and trace on his landline?” 

“Garcia’s almost set up.” Simmons walked away from Prentiss, and down towards Penelope’s office. 

“Well this went from bad to worse.” Tara walked up to Emily. 

Emily sighed in agreement. 

Lewis spoke up. “Female narcissists destroy their competition. Y/n really shouldn’t be in there.” 

Emily just nodded and the two of them headed out of the bullpen. “Walk with me.” 

Tara kept stride with her as they pushed through the doors. Rossi was just getting off the phone with someone and turned to look at the two women approaching him and JJ. 

JJ spoke up when Rossi was finished. “So, the hospital just released the dad– Issac Y/l/n. He's on his way here now.

Rossi scoffed. “Question is, why let him go at all?”

“Matt's on that.” Emily gestures in the direction of Garcia’s office. “Juliette Weaver's real agenda should tell us where she's taking Y/n’s younger sister.”

Lewis spoke next. “I still think the play here is to get Cat and Juliette to contact each other, but I have no idea how.”

Prentiss crossed her arms. “I have a plan, but first we have to talk about Y/n.” 

______________________________________________________________________________

Just then, you heard the click of the door, and stood up, watching as the door swung open. 

And there he was. 

This was the first time you had seen Spencer in four years. 

And there he was, kissing Catherine Adams. 

The woman you could give partial credit to for ending your relationship. 

After a moment Spencer looked up, and took several steps away from Cat. His eyes were wide and locked on yours. 

It took a lot of self-restraint to not punch the lights out of Cat, and to stand still arms crossed. 

“Y/n?” Spencer’s voice broke a little bit. 

You never would say that Spencer was unattractive. In fact, it would be a lie if you ever even thought about it. But something about the past four years aged him like a fine wine. 

His hair was a bit longer, he had some scruff—his baby face had melted away and standing in front of you was a man who you thought you knew everything about, but was now a stranger. 

You didn’t answer him, watching as he took you in, standing in his apartment, for the first time since…

“What are you doing here?” Spencer’s voice cracked.

You looked over at Cat, who had the most devious smirk on her face. 

Remember what Prentiss had said to you. 

“You know why I’m here.” 

Cat nodded and the two of them moved into the apartment, the door closing behind them. 

Spencer just stood ten feet away from you, eyes never leaving you, and you watched him right back. 

Cat, on the other hand, was walking around, examining the apartment. You could see her take notice of the tea you had made yourself on the counter. You could see the hatred from the corner of your eyes. The two of you were starting to piss her off. 

She spoke up, after a few moments of silence. “Did it make you mad that I was kissing your Fiancé?” 

You shook your head. “No.”

Your focus had fully turned to Cat, but you swore you swore you could hear Spencer take a sharp inhale as you spoke your next words.

“Well, he's not my fiancé and I kind of have some other things on my mind.”

Cat didn’t scare you, but there was just something so off-putting about her. “Like what?” 

“Are you gonna hurt Noelle?”

Cat shrugged. “Not if I don't have to, no. Honestly, if she follows instructions, she might even learn from this whole experience.”

You scoffed. “What does that mean?”

Cat just started fiddling with the chess set on the dresser. 

“Spencer, what does she mean?” You turned to look back at him, his name feeling so good on your tongue. 

Spencer, who really hadn’t stopped looking at you and sighed. “She means that Noelle isn’t learning from her, but from Juliette.” 

You sat down in your spot on the couch, eyes closed, trying not to let Cat (or Spencer) see how truly upset you were starting to feel.  

Spencer noticed where you sat and had to look down to conceal any notions of a smile on his face. 

Cat watched him before turning and looking at you, more disdain on her face than before. 

“Normally, Spencie and I, we spend our time together playing games, but tonight, I've brought you all here to make a point. You are doing so much better.” 

Spencer spoke up. “With you?”

“Without you.” Cat snapped at him. “Besides, I’m not talking to you Spencie, I'm talking to her.”

She turned to face you. “Because, girlfriend, you need to know the truth about your fiancé.” 

“He's not my finacé.” You were unsure about how many more times you could say that outloud. 

“No kidding. When’s the last time you spoke? Right…” Cat walked over to the center of the room, right in front of the couch. “Here?” 

Your head whipped around to Spencer. “You told her about that?”

Spencer was pleading with his eyes. “I had to say a lot of things tonight.”

Cat’s voice caused your head to snap back to her. “Yes, he has. He said that you never compared to me, that, um... That no matter what, he will never get me out of his mind, unlike you. Unlike that girlfriend.” 

You tried not to wince at the mention of that girl Maxine out in one of the trucks.

Spencer sat down next to you. “Everything I said—I was lying to save your family.”

Cat scoffed. “Did our kiss look like a lie?” 

“No.” You locked eyes with Cat, almost challenging her. 

She seemed to enjoy it.

“Thank you. See, now we're getting to the heart of the matter.” Cat started mocking Spencer. “You see, everyone thinks that Dr. Spencer Reid is... Is just this nice, bookish, uh, genius who, uh, always saves the day and has all the answers. And has zero mommy issues, right? But, um... I know the real him.” 

“Oh, yeah? Who's the real me, Cat?” 

“The real Spencer Reid throws women against walls. And hisses that he's going to kill them.” 

Spencer stood up, squaring off against her.  “That was a very different situation.”

“No, it wasn't.” Cat was holding the smirk back this time, making your gut wretch. 

“Spencer…What is she talking about?” You looked from the psychopath in front of you, to Spencer, poor Spencer who has spent the entire day entertaining her.

“You tell her. She's not gonna believe it coming from me.” She huffed. 

“Cat..”

“Do it.” She hissed, eyeswide with hints of threate.

Reid turned and looked at you, his mouth dry and body stiff. “Two years ago, Cat had her partner kidnap my mother. Just like tonight. She got under my skin and…”

Your chest hurt. “And you threw her against a wall?” 

Cat’s smirk was breaking through whatever resolve she had. “Don't skimp on the details, Spencie. She deserves to know everything.”

Every single time she said Spencie you swore it was harder to not deck her in the face. 

Spencer looked down at his hands, and then over at you. His voice had gotten quieter. “She was pregnant at the time and I knew that when I hurt her.” 

“And?” She stood there expectantly, waiting for Spencer to finish. When he didn’t, her face suddenly became solemn. “The next day... I miscarried. The end.”

Spencer looked at her. “That's not true.” 

Youre eyes went wide. “What?”

They just continued to argue over you.

“It is most certainly true. Check my medical records.” 

“That doesn't mean I-I would…”

Cat held up her hand to him. “Stop. Look.”

Spencer looked over at you, just sitting on the couch, trying to process everything that was going through your head. 

After thinking about everything you had gone through, especially with Spencer. “I thought you were better than that Spence.” 

It was the first time you had used a nickname for him in years. And he was hearing it for the first time while you were stuck in a standoff between himself and Cat Adams, your sister being god knows where. 

Spencer’s voice cracked. “I'm sorry.” 

Cat squatted down in front of you, a sick smile on her lips. She was enjoying this. She truly enjoyed watching his life crumble to bits. “Notice how your Spencie is apologizing to you and not me.”

You clenched your hands. “He’s not mine…”

Spencer just looked over at you. 

Cat nodded. “That's good. Because men are all the same. Aren't they, Jolie?” 

Spencer’s eyes lit up with an emotion you rarely saw from him when you were together. “Don't call her that.”

And you couldn’t blame him. The word ran you through like a spear and you were sure if you looked behind you, the blade would be through the couch. You tried so hard to not let either of the two people near you see how much it messed with you. You couldn’t believe Spencer had told her that. Luckily for you, Cat was too busy pushing Spencer’s buttons to see the way her words won against you. 

Cat hissed at him. “What, are you gonna throw me against a wall and choke me, or do you only do that to pregnant women?” 

You finally spoke up. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I want you to see it.” She gestured to Spencer. “I want you to see that he is...no better than he was before, or any man after. They’re all the same.” 

“Stop.”

Cat squatted down in front of you. “I can see it on your face. What's his name?” 

You stared back at her. “It's none of your business.”

That damned smirk of hers returned. “It is exactly my business. In fact, it's my specialty. I mean, I could have Juliette and baby sister go over there if you want. They could take care of him.” 

Reid looked over at you. “Say yes. Give her what she wants.” 

“Hmm. See, he wants you to get me to make a little phone call so they can trace it.” She moved away from you both and sat down in the lounging chair across from you. “They're so good, the FBI.”

You jumped up and started pacing, a spitting image of four years ago, unable to look at Spencer. “What is wrong with the two of you? What is this sick, twisted thing that you have? Listen, I just want to save my sister. Will you please just tell me what I have to do to do that?” 

“Tell me his name. Tell me the story. That's it. And then if they can let Juliette exit stage right, then I promise you I will let her go.”

You looked between Cat and Spencer before walking over to the kitchen, and hanging up the phone. After staring down at the decision you had just made, you walked back over and took your phone out. “Here. Use this. Use my phone. They can't trace it.”

She just watched you. “You'd be surprised.”

“I don't even need a call. Just... just a photo.” You held the phone out to her. “Something to prove to me that she's still alive. Please”. 

Cat just looked up at your face. “Story first.”

“Y/n. Please.” Spencer turned to you, hoping you’d look back at him. “I have been here with her before. She called the number and told the partner to kill my mom.”

“It is so tricky, isn't it? I mean, who are you gonna trust? The lying, cheating, violent psychopath... Or me?”

You looked down at the ground, refusing to look over at Spencer. “His…His name was Mike Davis. We dated for about two years. I met him a month after we…we split.”

Cat’s attention on you felt as if there were a million bees stinging your body all at different intervals, pain coursing through your body. “Good. When did it end?” 

“Last year.” 

“Was he good in bed?” 

Spencer stood up. “Shut up.” 

Cat was enjoying this. She was enjoying watching you make Spencer uncomfortable. She was enjoying hurting him in every masochistic way she could. “What? You have to know where you stand.”

“He was good…” You looked back at Cat. “Good at, um, separating me from my friends and my family. Enough that the first time he punched me in the face, I didn't have anywhere to go. And my first response was "I'm sorry, Mike." A fucking defense attorney apologizing to someone when they got hit. That's when he knew he had me.”

There was a glint in Spencer’s eyes, and you could swear they were tears, but you couldn’t tell from rage or sorrow. 

Cat continued to probe. “How many hospital visits were there?” 

You showed her a small scar on the inside of your elbow. “None. No, he... He knew how to hurt me just enough to hide it all, I guess. I never missed a day of work.”  

“But you found the strength to leave. What did you do?” 

“ I…”

“Tell me.”

“I planned. I planned and then I waited.”

Cat’s eyes lit up. “Waited for what? “

“I live here in D.C.” You looked between Spencer and Cat. “But I'm also a resident in Virginia. It takes 60 days for the permit to clear, but because I-I know some people…it was sooner.”

Spencer’s eyes widened. “Y/n, stop talking. Stop talking right now.”

Cat shushed him. “No, don't stop. Here. Give me the phone. Look, I'm gonna enter the text. Stick the landing and I'll hit send."

You handed her the phone and she quickly typed out a message, her thumb hovering over send. 

Fiddling with your ring finger, you started to speak again. Slowly. Concisely. “When I was ready, I picked a fight. Loud enough for the neighbors to hear. And he came at me with his fist just cocked back, so I pulled my Glock 19 out of my purse. I shot him.”

Spencer tried to interject. “It was self-defense. He was attacking you—”

“That's what I told 911 as he was struggling to breathe on his kitchen floor. That's why the police never charged me. I’m a lawyer, I know how to plead.” You closed your eyes. “But I... after I hung up, I... I shot him two more times.” 

Cat was glowing, spinning around to face Spencer. “Wow, you really have a type, don't you? Quite a dilemma, too. She just admitted to murder.” 

Spencer was in disbelief. “She'll beat it.” . 

“Probably. But whatever feelings she might have still had for you, and whatever Maxine might have seen in you—-it’s all gone.” 

The phone in your hand buzzed.

“Oh, wow. Look at that. Your sister. Alive and well. You're welcome.” 

Your face hardened up, and you stood up straighter. Walking away from the two of them, you opened the door. “I got it.” 

Emily took the phone from your hand and you turned back to the two of them. There was no emotion behind your eyes as you looked back at Spencer. 

Cat smirked and looked up at Spencer. “I win.” 

______________________________________________________________________________

The prison transport was quiet, with the two guards sitting across from Spencer and Cat. It had been silent for about twenty minutes, but then, Cat spoke up. 

“Do you know why I did this? Why I really did this?” 

Spencer looked down at his hands. “You wanted to prove I'm a monster just like you.”

“No... Silly. I just wanted to see you again. I just wanted to make sure that you would never forget about me.” She sighed. “'Cause when they do put that needle in my arm, I just want there to be even the slightest chance that... Maybe you're still thinking about me…”

Spencer stiffened as she placed her head on his shoulder. “You didn't have to terrorize innocent people. You could've just written a letter.” 

“Would you have written me back?” 

When Spencer didn’t respond, Cat knew her answer. 

“Bye, Spencie. I really enjoyed our date.” She smiled at him desperately, getting dragged out of the vehicle by the guards to the prison. 

______________________________________________________________________________

The elevator door opened and Spencer walked out of it, his whole body reeked of defeat, and he barely looked at Emily as she spoke.  “We need to debrief.” 

“I need some time Emily.” He muttered, walking right past her and into the bullpen. His expression changed when he saw you on one side talking to Tara, and Max on the other, looking up at him right as he walked in. 

“Spencer, are you okay?” 

Her voice caught your ear, and immediately you looked up to see her walk over and embrace him in a hug. 

He stiffly smiled at her, and returned the hug before muttering that he would be back in a moment.

Watching Spencer hug her and whisper something in her ear, make your stomach lurch, and you had to turn away. 

Spencer walked over to you, and you stood up as he approached. 

“Uh, Tara, would you mind giving us…”

She nodded at him and walked away. 

Both of you went to speak, trying to say something to the other. 

“I should explain all of this.” 

Spencer shook his head. “You don’t have to explain any of that Y/n—it doesn’t.” 

You cut him off. “Spencer, please.” 

The two of you moved out and voer into the kitchen, providing a bit more privacy than before. “It was fake—most of it was fake. I didn’t kill anyone, Spence. I was just lying to her to get her to send the text from my phone. It was all…It was made up.” 

He just nodded, staring at you, eyes cloudier than a storm crossing an ocean. 

You gave him a soft smile, and gently placed a hand on his shoulder. Both of you could feel the pulse between it, but your hand stayed where it was. 

“Mike Davis is alive, and I don’t really know about well. But he…we dated for about two years and he did…he raised a fist one time but never actually…he never hit me. I threw him out that night. I’m okay.”

Spencer lets out a breath slowly, just trying to take in everything you were saying. 

Spencer watched as what little resolve you had left crumbled under his gaze, and you looked up, trying to keep the tears at bay. 

He gently wrapped his arms around you, and helf you tightly, like all those years ago. “I’m so sorry you got dragged into this.” His words melted into your skin as you wrapped your arms around him. 

After a minute of standing like this, the two of you broke apart, and one of his hands came up to your cheek, wiping away a single tear that was left. 

You took a step back, the irony of this mirror image not lost on you, and you guestered back into the bullpen. “You have…You have to talk to Max.” 

Spencer’s face dropped a little at the mention of her name and he shook his head. “I’ll…I’ll deal with her in a second. She wasn’t the one who had to face a woman who completely….”

“Changed and fucked up what I thought my life would be. Yeah, I know. But she also cares about you.” You laughed a bit, putting back together a resolve that was nonexistent. 

“Spence, They filled me in on everything that happened between both of you in the past couple years, and they asked me if I would be willing to…help them beat her.” 

He didn’t like that you knew about everything that had gone down. He was so happy you were okay. He was a little impressed by the way you beat Cat at her own game. He was upset that you put yourself in danger. You could read him like you read one of your favorite books, knowing which emotion was coming up next. 

“They gave me an ear piece and everything.” You gave him a small smile, trying to make light of something. 

Spencer shook his head. “You’re not trained—that’s extremely dangerous of you.” 

You sighed and nodded. “Unfortunately Spencer, this is…this was the life I was used to when we were together. I knew the stakes. I mean the briefings I had with Hotch after you relapsed…” 

Spencer just clammed up and stood a bit straighter. “ I didn’t know that..”

“It was like that on purpose. I didn’t want you to think that you were a burden or too much or—I was doing it for the potential of us…” You cut yourself of, flinching at the parallels between this and your previous final conversation. 

Garcia walked over and placed a hand on Spencer’s shoulder. “I’m sorry to interrupt darlings, but I just need you both to know, Cat Adams had a miscarriage, but it was months after whatever encounter you had. It’s not your fault. We looked at her records.” She was speaking low for you both, yet both of you let out a quiet sigh of relief. 

You looked over at Garcia. “Thank you Pen.” 

Taking another small step back from Spencer, even though every single neuron in your brain was firing off, telling you what you were doing was wrong. “I should, I should grab my stuff, and go back. Penelope?” 

She had a rueful look on her face, but she nodded and took your arm, walking you back over to the desk where your stuff was. 

Spencer flexed his hand, almost as if he wanted to grab yours and never let go, but he just walked over to Max. 

You started to collect your things, but got sidetracked by a conversation with Rossi. 

You missed the small conversation that Spencer had with Max. You missed the way they hugged, and the way that the two of them walked out of the bullpen and to the elevator. You missed as they disappeared for a few minutes. 

“Rossi, I promise to do better about keeping in touch. I swear.” 

“I don’t just invite anyone over for dinner, you know. It’s an exclusive invitation.” 

You smiled, almost all real. “Trust me. I know. Besides… the phone is a two way device, so you have to text me first sometimes too.�� 

You looked over for Spencer, the smile on your face shifting ever so slightly into one of sadness when he wasn’t around. And no one would have noticed, if not for the fact that you were in a room full of profilers. 

“Well everyone, I…this was lovely. We’ll have to do this whole ‘getting my family kidnapped’ again some time.” 

This remark caused a few laughs and some smiles, as you said your goodbyes, and Emily walked over to the elevator. 

She was about to say something, but the doors opened and revealed Spencer. He seemed like a weight had been taken off his shoulders and you smiled at him.

Emily excused herself, giving your shoulder a squeeze, and leaving the two of you alone. 

“Let me walk you out.”

You nodded, and entered the elevator.

The two of you stood in silence until you reached the parking lot.

You both stepped out, and looked over at your car, before looking back at one another. 

It was Spencer who spoke first. 

“I’m so so sorry Y/n.” He whispered. “I never meant any of this to happen to you, and for you to get dragged back here and—” 

As soon as he met your eyes, you dropped your bag, and Spencer wrapped his arms around you tightly, just holding you and resting his head on yours; trying to give you the comfort that he was rarely able to give you. You just tightly wrapped your arms around his torso and just held onto him tightly. Trying to decompress, trying to truly understand everything that had happened in the past twelve hours. 

Part of being a lawyer meant that acting and diffusing situations was part of your life, but sometimes, it was just a defense mechanism. It was exhausting. 

“Are you okay?” 

Spencer looked at your face, pulling away slightly. You were worried about him. 

He went to nod, but decided to shake his head no. “Today was…I’m so sorry she…” 

“It’s what she wanted, Spence, and unfortunately she just…” You whispered. You tried so hard to find the right words. 

After another moment in his arms, you took a step back and shook your head. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Y/n…”

“Spence you have a girlfriend.” 

“Y/n.”

“And I…I don’t know if I could put myself back to where I was four years ago.”

“Jolie.” 

You took another breath, but kept going. “You are amazing, and funny, and so smart Spence. But this…we ran our course. It didn’t work then, and I don’t know if I have it in me to try again just for it to fail.” 

“We won’t.” 

“You can’t promise something like that.”

“I can. I will.”

You shook your head. “Max…”

“We broke up.”

Spencer gently grabbed your face, giving you enough time to back out.

You didn’t. 

His lips locked with yours, his thumb rubbing against your cheek as the two of you shared one more moment, just for the two of you. 

Catharsis didn’t even begin to describe the feeling of the ache in your bones subsiding. Every single moment of stress, of doubt, just melted away and left you grabbing a hold of Spencer’s shirt and pulling him impossibly closer. 

It was going to be different. Everything was not the same. You both had grown, you had changed, and for the better. But eventually, you were always supposed to find your way back to this moment, with yourself in Spencer’s arms and your lips on his lips. 

It was solidified when a few months later, Spencer left the BAU to become a full time professor in DC, and moved into your apartment, abandoning the one where Cat had ruined your life not once, but twice. 

It solidified as the two of you made time for one another, constantly finding new cities around the world to explore. 

It solidified forever when he placed a ring on your finger and whispered I do in front of your friends and family.

It was always meant to be, and sometimes, the path to forever, is everchanging. 

But at least you were able to do it with Spencer Reid by your side. 

[rekino2114]

Cute things the drdt girls do for you

A/n:episode 15 was pretty great, I might post my full thoughts on it and chapter 2 as a whole next week when it ends maybe

Teruko tawaki

Follows the sidewalk rule

The sidewalk rule says that when two people are walking on the sidewalk the one who is stronger and/or can take a hit better is the one who walks near the traffic, and teruko follows it...only with you

She has actually been hit by cars before because of her luck (you were very concerned when she randomly dropped that in the middle of a conversation) so protecting you from that is her main priority

She kinda does it subconsciously, gently gripping your wrist and guiding you on the right side, when you ask her why she did that she just blushes and blurts out "I don't want you to get hit by a car"

She actually did get hit when she was with you once but you were unharmed while teruko had to go to the hospital

"I'm so so sorry teru, I should have been more careful"

"Don't worry, at least you're ok, plus this isn't the worst accident that ever happened to me"

"........You're literally covered in bandages and casts"

"Yeah and?"

You start to think her luck actually works because of how she can survive stuff like that

Min jeung

Writes love letters

Min spends a lot of her time writing, be it papers, notes or her schedule. Writing is a big part of her day-to-day life, but what she loves writing the most is definitely love letters for you

Her grammar and handwriting are impeccable, even her punctuation is on point. The only way you can tell that it's a love letter and not an English essay is because of the heart drawn at the bottom

There doesn't have to be a specific reason for her to write you a letter sometimes she just feels like doing it, and you love receiving them,they're a written testament of her love for you

Sometimes they're in really cute envelopes with stamps and everything. she loves seeing your reaction to reading them

"Hello y/n, I have written this to inform you that unfortunately, I won't be able to hang out with you today as I have an important test, feel free to come to my dorm at around 7 pm though, I should have finished by then, I know I could have texted you this but a letter is more romantic don't you think?

Love you

Min jeung" ♡

P.s.:If you see Charles, do you mind telling him thanks for helping me in chemistry? He was a great help

P.p.s.:Yes, don't worry, I'll remember to take breaks, I know how you get if I don't

Arei nageishi

beats up people for you

Ok, it's more than that. It's more how she treats you compared to other people. She's way nicer to you compared to everyone else. Sure, she still teases, throws light insults at you, but you know she doesn't actually mean it...unlike with everyone else (except eden)

She's more than ok with people insulting her. She's used to it by now, and she can easily verbally abuse the person until they cry, but when someone insults you then they truly fucked up

She'll be smiling and giggling with you while the unconscious and bloody body of the person who was unfortunate or stupid enough to say anything negative about you is near her .....you didn't even know she was that strong but now you're kinda scared of her even if you know she'd never hurt you

She also kinda does it to receive compliments and praise for you, she expects you to be flattered and in awe at what she did for you, which you are, but you're also too worried about her to really compliment her

"Not everyone likes you, you're not y/n"

"Not everyone likes y/n"

"......names"

"......What?"

"Give me names bitch, I'll shut their mouth for good when I find them"

Hu jing

Makes you packed lunches

Listen, we all know how much of a mom this girl is. She practically adopted nico. and as her partner, you're definitely on the receiving end of her motherly tendencies

She scolds you when you don't clean your dorm,constantly sends you texts to make sure you're ok, and always checks during the day to make sure you've eaten enough and the best way to assure that is making you lunch herself

Everything always tastes great and incredibly fresh (definitely way better than what the school gives you), but you still feel kinda embarrassed. Even when you try to reject it, she'll try to feed you to make sure you eat. She also definitely wipes your mouth when you're finished

She also writes you a cute note saying things like "hope you have a great day, remember to stay hydrated and study hard" which......doesn't make that much sense since you always eat together in the cafeteria and she's literally standing near you as you read the note but it's so adorable you don't carea

"Come on Darling, you need to eat, don't you like what I made for you?"

"N-no it's not that hu, it's......embarrassing"

"Y/n l/n if you don't eat that, I'll make you....even if it's embarrassing, you still need to eat enough"

"......o-ok"

".....you too huh?"

"Hi nico.......yeah"

J rosales

Gives you her hoodie

Most of her classmates have seen j without her hoodie only on rare occasions, unlike you who have seen her like that multiple times

It's often when it's cold outside, j notices and takes off her hoodie to give it to you, you're very surprised and ask her if it's OK since she'll be cold too then but she just dismisses it and says that you're more important

If you compliment her on how pretty and cool she looks without it on, especially how beautiful her hair looks (I genuinely really love her hair, it looks so cool), she'll blush a lot and maybe ask for her hoodie back so she can hide her face in it (like she does in her sprite)

She'll actually start to wear her hood down more after you compliment her hair enough, because she secretly wants you to do it more but is too embarrassed to ask

"You sure about this j? Won't you get cold?"

"Nah, it's fine, if it really gets cold, I'll just put another one on"

"Cool, thanks so much babe"

"You're welcome"

".....did i mention your hair is pretty?"

"*blushes* y-yeah this is like the fifth time you said it"

"Sorry I can't help it if it's true"

Veronika grebenshchikova

Gifts you plushies

......kinda, it's more accurate to say she gifts you what once were plushies. Some have their heads ripped off, others are covered in blood with one of their eyes missing, it's creepy but sweet...in a Veronika way

Sometimes, she doesn't even give you the plushies directly. They just..... appear on your bed, the only way you can tell Veronika was the one to leave them is because only she would and could do something like this.....you still have no idea how she gets in your dorm but are too afraid to ask

She also gives you plushie and merchandise of every horror movie you can think of. One time she gave you a very haunted looking doll, like the one from Annabelle, and you could have sworn you saw it move at night

When you have movie night at your dorm (which happens very often), Veronika likes to snuggle with both you and all the plushies in your bed as you do the same, it's actually really comfortable

"*sigh* I hate group projects"

"Come on, teruko, I'm sure we'll get it done fast"

"Whatev-.......WHAT THE FUCK?"

"Oh those are the plushies Veronika gives me, aren't they cute?"

"1;NO THEY AREN'T 2: that's not what i meant.....WHY THE HELL IS VERONIKA IN YOUR ROOM?"

"Oh hi vero"

"HI darling, I just wanted to put this new plushie I got you in here"

".......the door was locked, y/n just opened it, how did you get here?"

"Oh yeah she does that, I don't know either"

"*giggle*"

"......You two are deranged"

Rose lacroix

Remembers everything about you

Ok, she remembers everything, period, but that's especially true for you. Any date that is important to you, like a birthday or a special event (like your first kiss) instantly becomes important to her too the moment you mention it, and she'll most likely give you gifts for them

Any food you like and dislike as well as any possible allergies you have are always on her mind when you're eating together, she could even order for you at restaurants if you want, she knows your tastes perfectly after all

Any gifts she gives you always is something you like, no matter if you just mentioned it once to her she remembered and got it for you, there doesn't even need to be a special date for it, sometimes she just feels like it and gifts you something

Unlike basically everything else, your information, likes, and dislikes are actually things she wants to remember and willingly keeps them in her mind. She loves you, so all of this is extremely important information to her

"Hey y/n, do you like this? I just finished painting it, take it"

"Oh it looks great, but why do you want to give it to me? It's not my birthday or anything"

"Oh no, I know, but it is your mom's birthday isn't it? I wanted to give it to her so she'd think I'm a good girlfriend"

"Oh OK....yeah it is. How did you know?"

"You told me, I think it was about.....three months ago, we were talking our families and you brought that up"

"You remembered that, that's so cool"

"Eh, I guess perfect memory comes with some pros....sometimes"

[muldj0rd]

Love was the law and religion was taught || Brocedes

Summary: “I would rather not be able to love you, and still be friends with you, than be with you and have no contact with my family”

Warnings: Anal, anal fingering, internalised homophobia, angst, blowjob, drunk sex, top Nico, bottom Lewis, handjob, is Spain ‘16 a warning? No beta read, no happy ending

Masterlist || AO3

A kid

Lewis was just a kid when his father told him that he could never love a man

Lewis met Nico the day before, having told his father that the blond boy was pretty, even if they didn’t speak the same language

“Son, loving the same gender is a sin. God created Adam and Eve”

”I just think he’s pretty, is all”

”Men can not find other men pretty or attractive”

’I’m no man. I’m a boy- a kid’ Did he want to say

He grew up. Nico became even more pretty. It was still a sin. Lewis became jealous when Nico asked if he looked good for a date he was going on- why was he jealous? It’s a sin. He shouldn’t

When they were younger 15-17 or so, Nico was more fit than Lewis. He envied that. He looked. He looked damn long if they were out swimming or something else we’re Nico had no shirt on

He kissed a man for the first time when he was barely an adult. 18 or so. He might’ve been 17 actually

He wished it was Nico he had kissed- that was the only reason why he did it. But it wasn’t Nico he had kissed

He came to his dad the very same night, his head lulled forward, his hands interlocked in front of his body “I am so sorry, father” He started before he went on to explain what a terrible sin he had done

He called Nico an hour later, having finally stopped crying after his dad had given him a beaten

Lewis immediately felt better just by hearing Nico greet him on the phone

Lewis didn’t say anything

By the time Lewis had reached Formula 1, he had tried forgetting everything about Christianity, and whatever stupid sins

Lewis had… Fallen in love? He wouldn’t say that. Lewis was… Fond of Nico. It wasn’t love

Sure, he wanted to know what it felt like to kiss Nico, he wanted to know what it felt like having his lips around Nico’s dick and afterwards wanting to know what it felt like getting fucked by him

Lewis knew Nico had have sex before- his family wasn’t religious. Nico could screw around like he wanted. Men, women, everything in-between, even long before he was married

That Lewis also envied Nico for

Australia ‘08

Lewis won, but that didn’t matter. How could it matter when Nico was on the podium for the first time

Drinking, clubbing, dancing

What the time was? Nobody knew

All Lewis knew, was that it felt extremely good to have Nico laying his head on his shoulder

“Lew?” He spoke softly, making Lewis turn his head to look down at Nico, they were close like this now “I love you” He murmured, looking into Lewis’ eyes

“I love you too, man” Lewis said, pushing a strand of Nico’s outgrown hair behind his ear

“No” Nico shook his head slightly sitting up straight now “I love you, Lewis”

The next thing Lewis knew, were Nico’s lips on his. He felt pushing him away, but he didn’t

He kissed back instead, not like he had done with the first guy he kissed back in ‘04

This was better. It felt right. For a brief moment when they pulled away, could Lewis hear his father’s voice

’Son, loving the same gender is a sin’

Lewis didn’t care. He wanted to keep kissing Nico, and he did

They ended up in one of their hotel’s rather quickly after that

It was Nico’s hotel and room. Lewis could smell it the moment they stepped inside before he was gently pushed up against the wall

Nico reached his hands towards Lewis’ belt, but Lewis pushed his hands away, going down onto his knees instead, his hands unbuckling Nico’s belt

“Gott, Lew… You don’t have to” Nico said, a hand placed on the wall in front of him, the other placed in the crook of Lewis’ neck

“Please… Let me” How could Nico say no when Lewis were begging to suck him?

Nico nodded softly. He didn’t know how inexperienced Lewis was- he knew about how he was taught about religion, but that didn’t have to mean he was inexperienced

Nico’s breath hitched slightly when Lewis licked softly over the head of his cock

“Fuck” Nico moaned out softly as Lewis swirled his tongue around him, holding on to the back of the blond’s thighs

Lewis looked up at Nico through hooded eyes as he hollowed his cheeks, taking as much of him into his mouth as he could

The sight alone could make Nico come if he didn’t have enough consciousness to hold back

Lewis started moving his head, his warm mouth- he was inexperienced alright, but it didn’t matter to Nico, dare he say it kinda turned him even more on, knowing he was more experienced than Lewis

Nico threw his head back slightly, moaning softly, his hand tightening slightly around Lewis’ neck, needing something to hold onto

“Lew- fuck. I’m gonna come” Nico groaned softly, his thighs shaking slightly

Lewis hummed around Nico, pressing his tongue against a vein, drawing Nico over the edge, coming inside Lewis’ mouth

Lewis pulled off of Nico, swallowing his cum, both panting heavily

“Fuck” Nico breathed out, his hand on Lewis’ jaw, his thumb wiping away some of his cum from the corner of his mouth

“Please. I want you to fuck me” Lewis said softly, almost a whisper

Nico sighed softly “You sure?” He asked, softly tracing Lewis’ bottom lip

“Yes” He nodded, looking up at Nico

“Undress and get on the bed” He said, taking a step away, taking his own shirt off

Lewis did as he was told, quickly undressing himself and getting onto the bed, laying on his back

Nico stepped out of his jeans and briefs, getting the lube from his suitcase and sitting on his knees between Lewis’ spread thighs

He bent Lewis’ knees, leaning down to mouth at the soft skin of his thighs, making Lewis whimper softly, his cock leaking onto his stomach

“Nico” Lewis whined, bucking his hips slightly to emphasise how much he needed him

“You’re so damn impatience” Nico chuckled, leaning back and pouring some lube onto his fingers

Lewis moaned softly when Nico started circling his hole slowly

He whimpered when Nico slowly pushed his finger into him, pumping it in and out softly, twisting it to get Lewis more stretched out

Lewis whined softly when Nico softly pushed in a second finger, Lewis’ fingers digging into Nico’s biceps

“Shh. Relax” Nico soothed, his other hand caressing the inside of Lewis thigh, trying to get him relaxed

Nico slowly started moving his fingers again, twisting and turning them, scissoring Lewis open

Lewis moaned loudly when Nico curled his fingers, hitting his prostate. It was soft, but still gave Lewis immense pleasure

“Nico- please” Lewis moaned, hips rolling against Nico’s hand, his own tight in the sheets beneath him

Nico chuckled softly, pulling his fingers out slowly, earning a whine from Lewis from the sudden emptiness

Nico wiped his fingers clean on the inside of Lewis’ thigh, Lewis too fucked out to care about how his thigh was now sticky

Nico watched Lewis breathing hard and heavily with his eyes closed as his hands worked on getting his cock lubed up

Lewis whimpered when Nico lined himself up with Lewis

Both moaned softly when Nico slowly pushed inside Lewis, stoping every so often to let Lewis adjust before pushing further

Nico sat a slow pace once Lewis got adjusted enough, Nico’s pale hands on Lewis’s dark hips

Likewise with Lewis’ dark hands against Nico’s pale waist, holding him tight, afraid he’d leave

“That’s it, schatz. Gott, you feel so good” Nico moaned out softly, leaning over, one hand still on Lewis’ hip, the other beside Lewis’ head , holding himself up

“Faster- please” Lewis chocked out between his whimpers and whines

Nico chuckled softly, angling his hips to thrust into Lewis’ prostate faster, making Lewis moan loudly over and over again, Nico’s name rolling off his tongue like a loud prayer

Nico felt himself get close again, twitching inside Lewis as he felt Lewis’ walls clench down around him

Nico leaned back, wrapped his hand around Lewis’ cock and stroking him to the same speed as his thrusts

It didn’t take long for Lewis to be coming all over his stomach and Nico’s hand

Nico slowed his hand down, angling his hips to avoid Lewis’ prostate as he chase his own orgasm for the second time

With a moan of Lewis’ name, Nico came deep inside Lewis, bracing his body with his arms so he didn’t fell down on top of Lewis

Russia ‘16

8 years

They had been together for 8 years, and Lewis had yet to tell his dad about them

He felt bad, of course. Nico’s parents knew about them, but Lewis had never even hinted to his father that they were together

Together for 8

Lived together for 5

Engaged for 2

They were practically married at this point, but Lewis had yet to say anything, not because he felt it as a sin, but his dad found it as one

“I’ll tell my father tonight” Lewis hummed, his head laying on Nico’s chest, arms around his waist

“Yeah?” Nico sounded surprised as he looked down at Lewis, his fingertips trailing up and down Lewis’ naked waist

“Yeah” Lewis hummed, turning his head to look up at Nico

Nico smiled softly “I’m proud of you”

“Shut up” Lewis mumbled, getting flustered by the praise

Nico won the race, so it gave Lewis more confidence to talk to his father

Lewis went to his father’s hotel room, sitting on the bed nervously

“Why you so nervous, son?” Anthony asked, working on getting everything cleaned up and packed again

“I have a partner” Lewis blurted out, making Anthony hum softly

“Is she pretty? What’s her name?” Anthony asked, closing his suit case

“Yeah, he is pretty” Lewis hummed, looking into the floor

“He?” Anthony stopped in his tracks “You meant she… Right?” Lewis could hear the anger in his voice

“No” Lewis chocked out, shaking his head slightly “I’m dating Nico, dad”

“You can’t be with him. You need to break up” Anthony sighed, crossing his arms over his chest, towering over Lewis

“I can’t do that” Lewis whimpered out

“And why is that?” He sighed again

“Well, first of all, because I love him, second of all, we’ve been together for 8 years, so-“ “8 years?! Are you out of your mind, boy?” Lewis flinched slightly at his dad’s new tone

“We live together and we’re engaged as well” Lewis hummed quietly

Anthony nodded softly, scoffing slightly “Here’s the deal- you either break up with Nico, and god forgive you, or… you can stay with Nico and I will make sure no family will have contact with you again” Lewis’ eyes grazed with unshed tears “You better make up your mind the next time I see you, boy, and I will be at Barcelona. Now, get out”

“How’d it go?” Nico asked softly from where he sat on the bed with a book once Lewis got back

“I don’t wanna talk about it” He mumbled, kicking off his shoes, laying his head in Nico’s lap, closing his eyes softly

Nico didn’t read anymore. Solely focusing on his fiancé in his lap, making sure he was safe

Spain ‘16

Lewis knew it was a shitty telling Lewis on the Thursday before the race, but he needed to do it before he saw his father again

“You okay, schatz?” Nico asked concerned, looking at Lewis who was leaning against the small desk of his drivers room

“Not really, no” Lewis hummed quietly, already feeling tears well in his eyes

“What’s the matter?” Nico wiped a tear away from Lewis’ cheek

Lewis closed his eyes, taking a deep shaky breath “We can’t be together anymore” He sighed, not daring to look at Nico

All Nico’s thoughts stopped. Time stopped “What? What are you talking about, schatz? Is this because of your father?” Nico feel his eyes water

Lewis nodded softly, sniffling “Yeah” He sighed

“Baby- I love you, and that’s all that matters. So, screw what your father says” Tears silently slid down Nico’s cheeks as he rested his hands on the sides of Lewis’ neck

“No- you don’t understand, Nico” Lewis said, shoving Nico’s hands away, making him stumble backwards slightly

“If we stay together, my father will make sure I never have contact with my family ever again, and I-…” Lewis sighed, closing his eyes softly again

Lewis opened his eyes again “I would rather not be able to love you, and still be friends with you, than be with you and have no contact with my family” He sighed

“Lew-“ “Nico. Don’t. I have made my mind. I respect my father too much” Nico chuckled sarcastically, his eyes bloodshot

“Fuck you, Lewis” Lewis flinched slightly when Nico slammed the door shut after he left

[brotherwtf]

The college abo ask/drabble omg,,, Omega John going through heat again for the first time since Gale’s figured it out and they’ve been together 🫣 Gale coming back from class and John’s already in the throes of it and he’s just whimpering and cramping and begging for Gale and his knot the second he walks in and John smells him

-@mangokittokatsu

omg anon this is so fucking delicious and tasty hmmm

----

This was one of the worst heats that John has ever been through.

Ever since he stopped using blockers when he moved out, his heats have come back tenfold, causing him to double over in pain every single time they came back. He couldn't walk, had to take a week off of classes, and was so damn horny that he almost couldn't function. If he didn't get fucked right now he thinks he's just going to break.

It doesn't help that Gale's scent is still all over their dorm too, John's losing his damn mind because there's the smell of an alpha so close to him, but no alpha around to actually satiate him. He's rutting into the pillow, trying to get some satisfaction, and he's crying from how desperate he is.

When he hears Gale's keys being inserted into the lock, he has to bite back a moan. All he can think of is Gale, an alpha, could be his alpha if he begged hard enough for it, Gale could help him.

Gale walks in and his eyes train on John, obviously being able to smell how desperate John is in this moment. John practically whines, shoving his face into the pillow and curling his knees into his chest. He doesn't want to look at Gale almost, but he's so damn desperate he looks up at him with teary eyes.

"Please, I'm sorry I'm so sorry, but please... Gale I need your help," John cries and it's horrible pathetic.

Gales eyes are trained on him, and John knows there's a part of him physically restraining himself from just pouncing on John's body and taking him right there. But he walks slowly, deliberately, and sits on the edge of John's bed, carefully running a hand through John's hair.

"Has it always been this bad?" Gale asks and John just whimpers while he shakes his head.

Another cramp surges its way through John's stomach and he whines into the sheets again. Gale shushes him, gently pushing on John's shoulder until he's laid out on the bed.

"Oh I'm sorry John, don't worry I can help, let me help you darling," Gale says and he presses a gentle kiss to John's forehead.

He presses their foreheads together as he grazes a hand down to John's boxers, pushing them down and quietly telling John to lift his legs so he can push them off. John whimpers and nods, lifting his hips so Gale can touch him properly.

Gale starts by gently stroking John's cock, pulling the sweetest and most desperate sounds from him, shushing him gently when he tries to buck his hips upwards into his grip.

"Come on, doll, be patient. I'm gonna knot you so good darling, you'll be full with it," Gale says and John moans aloud, throwing his head back against the pillow.

Gale sneaks his hand down to John's dripping hole, circling his finger around it and teasing it gently, teases until Johns crying for it into his arm.

"There you go, come on, ask for what you want," Gale says and John can't even form the words, just continues to whimper and whine into his arms.

Sighing, Gale takes two of his fingers and shoves them inside, smiling at how John jerks up and moans. It's amazing but not enough, Gales fingers don't quite reach where John wants to be touched so terribly. His hips keep bucking up into Gales touch and he smiles at him, coos and calls him desperate.

"Want it, please... I want your knot," John begs.

Gale smiles at him, standing as fast as he can and stripping himself of his clothes and ripping John's shirt off of him. It makes John's head go mushy, Gale finally taking control and letting his alpha instincts take over.

Gale wastes no time thrusting into John, the slick John's been steadily producing aiding the slide easily. John whines in his throat, cries out and keeps a scream in the back of his throat. Gale groans, latching his lips onto John's neck and grabbing onto his hips to thrust into him.

John has never been fucked this well by an alpha before. Other partners chased their own pleasure, John's experience being the last of their worries when they had something warm to stick their knot into. But Gale held him, wrapped his arms around John gently while he thrusted into him, making those desperate sounds alongside John, getting pleasure by making John feel good as well.

John can feel Gale's knot in him, can feel the intense stretch that accompanies it, and his moans keep getting higher and higher, until he's screaming from it, grabbing onto Gale's shoulders and scraping aggressively as Gale thrusts into him with a final groan.

They stay like that, John panting with come on his stomach and with Gale's knot inside him, smiling because he hasn't felt this good in a long time.

Gale pushes himself up with his arms and looks into John's eyes, pressing gentle kisses against his mouth to bring him down from their high.

"Was that good, doll? Feel better?" Gale asks, and John smiles, nodding as he pulls Gale down for a weak embrace.

[thatwritterbeach]

one messed up bat .4

Dc masterlist

Batfam x reader x Jason eventually

Summary: The batboys sticking close to y/n

Warnings: self harm, self hate, angst, short sorry

A/N: I do not own dc

"Let's take a little trip around the room and you can tell me where all the sharp things are, or, you can be moved to an unused room and only come in here with supervision," Dick said with his hands on his hips.

"It'd be faster to move rooms, after all I have vigilante stuff in here too."

"I was afraid you'd say that, alright well, grab your pillow and anything else you need. Phone charger or whatever. I'm gonna lock the door when you're done and I will have to let you in-"

"This is ridiculous all my games and books and stuff are in here, not to mention my sewing supplies." (because I said so you now know how to sew, Y/n designs leather goods, handbags, fancy wallets etc. and has dreams of people actually knowing they exist)

"I didn't know you sewed," Tim said looking up from his phone to take in her room.

"I've had a machine sitting in the corner for years now, I thought you were supposed to be smart," she said walking over just so she could flick his ear.

"Hey, ow, I thought it was just girly decoration?"

"I suppose to giant shelf of supplies next to it is also decor," she asked with her head tilted.

"Sewing shears are sharp as hell, no way are you allowed around them without somebody's eyes glued to you," Jason said holding a pair of Italian knifes edge shears.

"Hey put those down they were three-hundred-bucks!" He nearly dropped them at her shout but caught them and set them gently back in their case.

"For scissors," Dick asked in disbelief.

"They could cut your arm off. They're Italian and I love them more than I love any of you."

"You're sleeping in a different room but you can be in her during the day, with one of us here."

She rolled her eyes but kept her mouth shut, whatever he needed to tell himself but she knew how this was gonna go. They'd say they were gonna take shifts, but stuff would come up, they would get bored. Tired of following her to the bathroom and sitting outside awkwardly. She'd be a good little pet, keep her skin clear of even a bruise from bumping into something and they would get complacent and lazy, checking up on her once a day. She gave it two weeks before they were leaving her alone again, and a month before they couldn't be under the same roof anymore and she only had to deal with Tim, easy the kid slept and drank coffee, and Damian who she could distract.

"Fine, anyone up for a snack?"

They nodded and she led the way to the kitchen, it was well into the night so it was dark aside from a few motion sensor lights she'd put in herself. (after the boys had said every curse word under the sun from bumping into stuff) She pulled out some chips and the other grabs various foods and drinks.

"We eating in here or you wanna go watch a movie?"

"Movie,"Tim answered starting to pour himself a cup of coffee.

"If you drink that at this hour-in fact if you drink any caffeine after four pm I'll start breaking picture frames to cut myself with the glass," she said snatching the cup from him and dumping it down the drain.

"Oh my God," Dick gasped dropping the bag of popcorn he'd just taken from the microwave.

"But...my coffee," Tim whispered looking at the drain like she'd just flushed his stash.

"Me no slashy you no caffey," she said pulling him into a hug. His arms came around her quickly and held her to him tight enough to make her back crack but neither of them moved. Her eyes welled with tears from the comfort and she tried to pull away but he held on.

"If you don't let me go I'm gonna cry," she warned.

"Go for it, you deserve it."

"If I start I won't stop."

"Oh, Y/n," Jason and Dick said in unison putting down their loot to add their arms to the hug. She was fully surrounded, encased in shear muscle, Tim's arms around her ribs and hands on her back. Dick's arms on top of his more hugging Tim than her but it was fine. Jason's arms were circled completely around her waist and they all took turns placing kisses on her hair. The need to cry and the urge to get away battled inside her but the only way out was teleportation.

"We love you," Dick said finally backing off.

"I second that," Jason said also stepping away.

"Thirdsies," Tim said stepping back to grab her face in his hands. "If you don't want me to drink coffee I won't drink it."

"Nice try, I said caffeine, energy drinks and tea included."

"Damn."

The moment passed they all grabbed their stuff again and headed to the theater room. A half hour into the movie she was the only one awake and she rolled her eye at the predictability, she started to sneak out of the room but Damian came in and snuggled up on her lap in the reclining seat she was in. (picture the Lego Batman seats the red velvet cushy looking ones)

"Tt, so pathetic they couldn't even be trusted to watch you for one night. He was so cute in his little batman pajamas she couldn't help but laugh at him squishing his face in her hands.

"Good thing I have you to look after me then huh?" He batted her hands away like and angry cat and grabbed the remote to change the tv, putting on old cartoon reruns instead. Dick was snoring like a freight train and she felt guilty for keeping him up so late, poor guy hadn't slept since birth. Tim was talking in his sleep something about mergers and 'no you can't sit there you little twat' he watched way too much British tv. Jason was silent and still as the dead next to her on hand stretched out in her direction as if he was offering her a lifeline even in his sleep.

@stormz369 sorry love forgot 😘

9-28-24

[gayjewishwerewolf]

this is just me venting but being autistic is sooo annoying like what do u mean i have to spend the evening rocking back and forth and hitting my head against a wall because people decided to go to a pub 2 minutes down the road from the pub we had originally planned to go to. like get a grip dude

[napping-sapphic]

I know it’s already getting unbearably hot but who wants to come try and nap with both me and my heating pad anyway

[starlooove]

My batfam gender sexuality hcs 🥰🥰🥰🥰:

Bruce: cishet he/him

Dick: cishet he/him

Jason: cishet he/him

Tim: cishet he/him

Steph: butch lesbian to ME! She/her but she’s trying out she/they and doesn’t know how to feel. Might fuck with neos but she’s not ready to take that step yet.

Cass: think early on in accepting that she’s a human being she’d psychoanalyze the fuck outta herself to see where she fits in and be super super super pressed about the entire thing to a detrimental point but as she progresses she’ll be fine. Lesbian, and she’s pretty sure she’s a girl most of the time sure 😄.

Duke: I think he knew he was not straight since he was young (moonlight opened his eyes and broke his heart) but he never really questioned his sexuality at all. The problem is that he doesn’t question it because the idea of gender roles (girls do this. Boys do that.) is so engrained in his mind that it’s not even something he thinks can be changed, if that makes sense? Anyways I don’t think he’s the type to get dysphoria he moreso experiences euphoria when exploring his gender identity. I think he would realize he has different views on his own gender when he sees other people expressing their own differently. Like genuinely he goes to school and sees another boy wearing lipstick and his brain blows up. As of this very moment he’s “exploring” but he’s actually a lil scared to genuinely confront himself about this and uses “there’s bigger problems in the world” to get out of it. End goal is non-binary but for now he’s at the veeeeeeery tail end of questioning.

Damian: I think at the moment Damian’s just not thinking about any of that but it’s in the opposite of duke; he knows he’s probably some kind of queer, both in sexuality and gender, but it’s just. Not top priority for him at the moment. I wanna bring up clothes rq bc, extra hc time, in MY mind Damian does express himself a lot through his clothing and getting to the manor made him a bit shy when it came to skirts and dresses. Seeing the way boys, and especially black and brown boys, who explore their femininity are treated, he just doesn’t mention it at all and the scenario never comes up. He gets more comfortable as time goes on though and later on gets bold enough to wear a dress to an event. He’s stonefaced but slightly regretting it till some younger kid sees him and is awe stricken, like stars in his eyes and asking if he can do that too. Damian feels better about it and resolves to wear whatever he wants more often. I don’t think he ever comes out in big big way (he’d tell the people closest to him but everyone else can just figure it out) but he genuinely doesn’t feel the need to label himself at all.

[rubiesintherough]

.

[lovsome]

>:(

[thedevotionaltour]

thinking about daredevil yellow again im not. going to make it Guys.

[doctorweebmd]

coming out of my baldurs gate 3 delirium (aka i am working a night shift and can't physically play it. at work.) to say that horikoshi. horikoshi when i GET YOU. you are NOT leaving izuku with no quirk and no arms. i am in your walls

[daz4i]

how to stop thinking any good thing someone says to you (like compliments or being proud of you or other positive expressions such as these) is a lie just to be polite or bc they're biased and thus can't judge you work and your being objectively bc they love you. asking for a friend

[lesbiansanemi]

Lets see how many episodes of revolutionary girl utena I can slog through today before I wanna fucking end it all

[loutrem]

.

[im-traumatised]

Not sure anyone noticed, but I've not been around much cause my phone broke. Been waiting for the new one to arrive, and I forget desktop Tumblr exists a lot... But I'm alive I guess, in the technical sense anyway...